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wandaspillow · 8 months ago

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Oh honey. (Pt 3)

of sorry not professor

Professor!wandamaximoff x student!fem!reader

Warnings: nothing I think?

Summary: you have three detentions

Proofread. (Kinda?)

pt1 ,pt2

Wanda's POV:

As I was waiting for y/n to come to my office I just went on my phone and saw that my husband- ex husband vision, posted a photo with him and a bunch of girls. I just rolled my eyes and turned off my phone, and as I did I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in" I say and looked at the door when opened it was y/n, "have a seat" I say and look at my laptop she sits down and plays with her hands.

"So your going to be here until 4.30" I say and she just looks at me and rolls her eyes, "I hope you don't have anything to do until then" I say and focus on my laptop.

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Y/n's POV:

You know how boring this is, she didn't even give me any work to do. So I decided to grab one of her pens and draw on my hand like I did last time.

And I did she didn't notice I think, it was around 3pm when I got here so I have 1 hour and 30 minutes. This is going to be longest 90 minutes of my life.

"Miss?" "Yes" she answers "im like reallyyy bored" I say and she just chuckles and says "well you should've went to class" she says and I roll my eyes, "stop rolling your eyes or I'll punish you" she says and looks me in the eyes and I just sit there with wide eyes.

I nod my head and continue to draw on my hands, she looks at me and sees my thighs are tight together and she just chuckles to see what an effect she has on me.

As I was sitting there I was thinking about a plan to see if she really wanted me, I just need to talk to Nat and tell her about it.

"Ms Maximoff what's the time?" I ask her "4.20" she says and I sigh knowing I only have 10 minutes left in here, I mean I like it but she's my teacher..

After the 10 minutes go by she gets up and I look at her in confusion cuz I didn't know what the time was, "you can leave now" she say firmly and I nod "you better be in class tomorrow y/n" she says as I leave her office.

And as soon as I did I texted Nat,

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Nattyy.

A redhead

What do you need now y/n?

Soo yk abt the whole Ms Maximoff thing right?

A redhead

Yes what about it.

Soo I need to see if she's interested in me or not soo...can you pretend your my gf or sum shit

A redhead

I mean who wouldn't wanna go out with you, but you had to pick me?

I mean she sees us a lot together and you were the first to come to mind.

A redhead

Fine but it's only for tomorrow, okay?

Okayy, ty nattyy

A redhead

Anytime dory

Read at 4:59pm

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After I texted her I turned off my phone and got into my car and went home, as soon as I got home I turned on my shower and got in after I took off my clothes.

As I got out of my shower I could hear Rey's meows from my bathroom door, I think he's hungry, after I dried myself I put on some pj shorts and an over sized shirt.

I got out of my bathroom and saw Rey on the floor and he looked up at me and looked at me with those beautiful green eyes, I picked him up and took him to the kitchen to get him some cat food, then I get me a glass of water and go back to my room to go ti bed.

And I don't normally eat dinner so I just put on a movie and soon after fell asleep.

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TIME SKIP

I wake up from a text from Nat and it said, 'I'll pick you up at 8:30' I smile and get off my bed and go to the bathroom.

After I finish brushing my teeth and having a shower I change into a shortish pencil skirt with a white blouse, then I put my hair in a half up half down with a black bow.

After I was done getting ready I did some light make up and then went to feed Rey, I grab his bowl and put his favourite cat food in it and got him some milk.

It was around 8:15 after I done that so I just got my bag and waited for Nat to come and get me.

Then I hear a knock on my door and I knew who it was, so I said bye to Rey and grabbed my bag and went to the door. I opened the door to see Nat in some jeans with a white skirt and I leather jacket.

She looks good, "hey Nat" I say and she smiles at me "hey dory" she says as we go to her car. The drive to school was quiet but the radio was on though so that's was alright.

"So I only have to do this for today?" She asks I shrug my shoulders "i don't know but let's hope" I say as we pull up to the school parking lot.

She parks the car and gets out to open my door and I give her a sweet smile and walk into school together, everyone was looking at us but not in a bad way. People have been shipping us together but we didn't like each other like that.

We look for everyone and their at our table that we sit at and their all looking at us, "soo Nat, y/n?" One of them said the only ones that know it's not really is Kate, Lena, and Peter.

"Mhm" I hum and she sits and lets me on her lap, we waited until the bell rang for our first class and I had double Russian with Ms Maximoff and that's when I groaned and Nat heard me.

"What's up y/n?" She says "I have double Russian" I whine and she looks down at me "do you wanna skip?" She asks "I can't cuz she saw me this morning" I say and she gives me a sad smile "do you want me to take you to class?" She asked and I nodded.

As I got up she kissed my cheek and I blush then I saw Ms Maximoff glare at us, Nat got up and held my hand as we walked to my class.

We got there and she gave me a peck on the lips and then I went into class and Ms Maximoff didn't even look at me, so I just sat down.

The class was reallyyy boring cuz we were just learning the alphabet and the basics, and the I heard the bell ring and got up until I heard my name.

"Miss Y/L/N can you stay after class please" Ms Maximoff says and I sighed and sat back down to wait until everyone left.

"What you need miss?" I ask "come here" she says telling me to come to her behind her desk. I nod and go there and she stands up and she's a little bit taller then me so I have to look up at her, "I've heard you and Natasha have been dating" she says and I nod "well what would happen if I look through your guys texts, huh?" She says.

I look at her confused and then she says "oh honey, I know the only reason your with her is to make me jealous, and it did work until I found out by your friends that can't keep quiet" she says and I mumble something but she doesn't hear.

"But it's okay honey, but do you know bad I wanted to bend you over my desk and make your ass the same colour as my hair?" She says and I just roll my eyes and she saw and gripped my chin and made me look her in the eyes.

"What the fuck did I say about rolling your eyes y/n" she says and it make me extremely wet, so I let out a quiet moan. "Oh so you like when mommy is being rough? What a slut" she says and lets go of my chin.

"But this will have to wait until your detention honey, oh can I please have you phone" she says and I don't say anything and hand it to her.

"Password" she says "926326" I say and the phone unlocks, I see her open messages and I have a worried look cuz she'll see my messages with Nat.

"Oh so I was right, you're not with Natasha?" She asked and I nod my head, "I'll look through this later and you should get to claw before you get even more detention" She says "can I have my phone back though?" I ask in a bratty tone cuz I knew I would get more detention cuz I was already late.

"That's not the tone you use to talk to your mommy" she says and I roll my eyes, lucky she didn't see it "and your not getting it back until I've looked through it" she says and I whine.

"I don't like a whiny baby, y/n" she says and I huff and walk out of her class room, then head to my next class which had already started.

I walked in and Ms hill looked and me and was disappointed, "y/n you have detention with Ms Maximoff at lunch because your late" she says and I roll my eyes and sit next to Yelena who was already knew I was pissed off with it cuz I had detention with her after school.

I mean I was sexually frustrated after what happened with Ms Maximoff and she took my phone, let's hope she doesn't go through my photos, cause I have a lot in there when I give my phone to other people at parties.

But after Ms hills class I I forgot I had detention with Ms Maximoff so I just went to lunch with Lena and Peter.

We sat in the cafeteria, but then Ms Maximoff was walking towards us, "y/n why is Ms Maximoff coming here?" Nat asked "shit I have detention with her I better go" I say and get up and went to Ms Maximoff.

And she wasn't happy, so I didn't say a word and just followed her to her office. We always have detention in her office, we get there and she lets me in first and then after I'm in she closes the door and locks it.

"Ms Maximoff?" I say and she just looks at me "why weren't you in my office when the bell rang?" She asked "I forgot I had detention with you" I say in a whisper but knew she could hear.

"Mhm" she hums and pulls out my phone from her pocket, "well cuz I haven't been through this i guess I'll do it now?" She asks herself and I just okay.

"Where's the pen you had yesterday?" She asked while unlocking my phone "erm..I think I left it on your desk" I say and she gives me a random pen on her desk.

After a while I was drawing on my hand as she was going through my phone, "why is half of the cheer team texting you?" She asked "ohh yeah I forgot about that, so I used to date Alison but then we broke up cuz she cheated on me with Carol" I say and let out a sigh.

"And then because I was single everyone was trying to ask me out" I say and she nods her head, the whole of lunch time was like this. She'll ask me questions and see if I'm lying or not, and I wasn't lying except for one but she thought I was telling the truth I hope.

It was when me and Nat were friends with benefits and we would you know meet up and do it, but we texted that on snap and we don't save chats.

And when the bell rang I was in no hurry cuz I had Ms Maximoff, "you can have your phone back sweetheart, but if you do anything stupid or bad I'll take it off you or punish you" she says and feel my face heat up at the thought of her punishing me.

After that we walked to her class I was the first one there cuz lunch had just finished and no one would be there on time, as I waited I got bored and started drawing on my hand again as we waited.

Finally everyone was in class I think, and I had it with Lena again which was a good thing. We just talked quietly as Ms Maximoff did and waited for the bell to ring so we could go home.

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Around 30 minutes after the school bell went and that's when I remembered I still have detention with Ms Maximoff and Johansson. And that's when I tell Lena and she said her and Nat will pick me up after.

I walked to Ms Johanssons office and knocked on the door and heard her and Me Maximoff, "come in" I hear her say and went in and sat on the couch cuz Ms Maximoff was on the seat.

This is going to be the longest two hours of my life, and yes two hours longer than yesterday.

Somebody kill me.

My Masterlist.

#wanda x reader #wanda maximoff #professor maximoff #natahsa romanoff #yelena belova #kate bishop #peter parker

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jonphaedrus · 2 years ago

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how to convince multiple corroborating witnesses you time travelled

i happened to tell an unrelated story to some friends last night and there came a request for "how on earth did your father convince you that he was capable of time travel" and the answer to that one was "sheer fucking audacity and a natural charisma score of about six billion, as well as the fact that my father has never been on time for anything. ever. in his life." my stepmother even calls it "running on dave time" because it's so ubiquitous.

here are some examples for you. last month my dad came to visit us, and the day he was supposed to be driving here i called him and said "so where are you right now?" and he replied "oh, i haven't left yet." it was at that point 4 in the afternoon and he was supposed to be maybe two hours out. i was like "...uh" and his explanation was "my mother wanted me to do some stuff and i didnt do it earlier this week so im doing it tonight" (the adhd time blindnes Really is). he missed an entire whole-ass plane flight because he was running so late over the summer, but because he has weird small magic they casually rerouted him through denver to san francisco and he met his students at the gate on their way to tokyo and they hadnt had him on the flight over to san francisco and were like "...what??? how did you get here?" dont worry about it.

the time that sticks out to me most of dave time is when i was about nine and there was a party for some family friends we were going to that started at 1pm. i was at my mother's house that weekend, so he was picking me up there. at 1230 he called me and said "okay im on my way now."

nothing.

at 1 he calls and says "im just leaving now."

nothing.

he calls at 115. "im going out the door, i am walking out the door right now." at 130 "i've just gotten in the car." at 2 "i'm actually in the car, i'm starting the car" at 230 "i am driving, right now, i'm driving."

he shows up at 3pm. this is pretty standard dave behavior.

my parents had the most contentious litigious divorce you could imagine—they were in legal arbitration, like, actively in court, for fifteen straight years, from the day their divorce was finalized until the day the decree expired when i graduated high school, because my mother would find basically any excuse to do anything and then right back they'd go. as a part of this divorce, they had 90s split custody—certain nights with either parents, weekends back and forth, etc.

one problem with this was that my father was congenitally incapable of getting me to school on time. ever. i reached the point where it became an issue they took to court, because i had so many tardy days in elementary school i was going to get counted as truant, so it was ESSENTIAL my dad get me to school on time.

one night, a friend slept over at my house on a school night, and we reminded him again and again WE HAVE TO GET TO SCHOOL ON TIME IN THE MORNING!!! WE HAVE TO GET UP AT 7!!! and he was like yes right okay we have to (i dont know why i didnt own an alarm clock at his house as a child. this is very adhd of him. he of course also does not own an alarm clock, to this day. he could theoretically use his phone but... uh. he doesn't know how to use his phone) and so we went to bed and woke up—

at 8.

school started at 745.

massively panicked, knowing we were going to be in SO MUCH TROUBLE if we were late, we rushed out of the house. my father, meanwhile, was cool as a cucumber—SOMEHOW. usually he would have been freaking out too, but he was like no, we got this.

you see, he'd been keeping a secret weapon on hand, just in case. ready to deploy when his need was most dire. and this was... that he knew how to time travel.

if literally any other human being had said that to us, i think we both would've laughed in their face.

my friend and i, of course, knew my father. we looked at each other. we looked at him.

we recognized that this was more plausible than we necessarily wanted to admit.

he was always late for everything but never got into trouble and always somehow made it just on time enough it wasn't a big deal. he could magic up stories that were so unbelievable nobody could possibly make them up. he'd been all over the world. if anybody could time travel, it was my dad.

so into the car we get. it's 8:15 now according to the clock, and we gotta go, we gotta RUSH. so we do rush, driving all the way across the city to school. he explains that the magic spell requires several components.

we must be in the nicer of the two old cars (the 1988 subaru outback, as has been mentioned previously as being the car we sold to later buy the car that almost exploded), so we take the white car, because the grey car is too old to be able to time travel any more, its engine couldn't take the abuse. we must drive a weird way to get to school, because this only works when you're going a certain speed, and the only highway that lets you go that speed is a little bit out of the way, but don't worry, we aren't risking anything by going further east than we normally would—we need to go 70mph. we must be listening to this specific classical radio station. and, most importantly of all, we must drive under this bridge. this one specific bridge. my dad, of course, needs his eyes on the road, so can me & my friend watch out the windows and tell him the INSTANT we're about to pass under the bridge so he can make the time travel happen?

honestly even now (at 28, not 8) i could believe this amount of setup has some very specific powers. it's well thought out, it has a solid amount of backup in place, there's specific somatic and verbal components, and it all fits into the logic train of "my father is a perfectly normal human being". my friend and i, of course, know he could just change the car clock, but this isn't likely to happen because my father doesn't actually know how to change the car clock (he still doesn't).

so we get to the bridge, we press our faces against the glass, and my dad says "okay get ready here we go!" and he guns the engine to speed just over speed limit past and under the bridge. there's a frisson of unbelievable energy. we gasp.

we get out the other side of the bridge and my dad looks at the clock and says "oh no. it might not've worked. the car clock is still wrong" so we start panicing again. he's like "okay, well, we'll have tried anyway, and so even if it didn't work we tried".

we pull up at school at 8:30, almost AN HOUR LATE, and my friend and i RUSH into the building, expecting to get tardy slipped... except there's no tardy slip person. none of the classroom doors are closed.

the clocks all say it's 7:30.

we look at each other. we stare. we look at the clocks. we look back at where my dad has driven away. this cannot possibly be true, right? there's no way my dad was able to go back in time.

and yet... we're early for school. a thing that has never happened to either of us, probably, in our lives.

we RUSH down the hall to our classrooms, find the rest of our friends, and start yelling our heads off about how MY FATHER JUST TIME TRAVELLED BACKWARDS IN TIME BY AN HOUR. our friends, of course, have never seen me on time on a day my dad had me, ever, and my toher friend who was with me was also always late, so they were like "what??? HOW DID YOU TWO GET HERE ON TIME???" and this... this has to be the only plausible explanation, right? there's no way my dad would get us to school on time. there had to be time travel involved.

and it wasn't even the day we had to change the clocks back. so that's not an explanation, either. it was december! totally wrong time of year!

and yet... my father time travelled.

i ran into this friend again YEARS later in high school after we'd lost contact and she was like "remember when your dad made us time travel" and i was like "oh god yeah did that really happen" and she was like "how the fuck did he do that." and we sat there, wondering. for hours. how the fuck did he do that??? because it totally happened, we both witnessed it, and he never did it again. so...

after i graduated from high school i finally asked my dad how the fuck he had managed to pull of time travel. i'd gone over all the plausible explanations with my friend—was that the day we'd changed the clocks back? no, it was december. had he snuck into my bedroom and turned the clock forward? no, that wouldn't make any sense, he's not capable of being sneaky or quiet. had he actually time travelled? obviously not.—and we'd finally just been like "well, it's dave. only explanation is it's dave"

the explanation?

in order to combat his terrible, terrible time blindness, my father had decided to not turn the clocks back and leave them all running so it looked like it was an hour ahead of what time it actually was, since this meant he'd actually make it places on time. if he always thought he was an hour late, he'd end up getting there right on time!

so he hadn't turned a single clock in his house or his car back. he'd left them all running an hour ahead. when we woke up in a panic he just started laughing at us, telling us we were running late and everything, because he knew we were, in fact, early! since we were so scared, though, he decided to give us something fun to make up for worrying us, and invented the whole time travel shtick off the cuff. given how much fun we had, and how it had stayed with us, he was just glad it had ended up "working"

that all said though?

........... i do still kind of think my dad might actually be able to time travel.

#this is a stable writing tag

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problematicfanfics · 2 months ago

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hey i got groped on friday night at the club in a “business casual” fit, sexually assaulted on a date tuesday wearing jorts and a loose t shirt, and then had to evacuate campus for hurricane helene bc we’re in flood zone A. now im staying with my uncle aunt and 12/11 year old cousins. i literally got no complete alone time to process what the fuck happened

the night i got sexually assaulted i basically just called up my friends and was like “hey date went like shit let’s go drink together!” but i genuinely just needed to get violently drunk and high. so i did very successfully. 12 heads in a singles dorm room space after downing copious amounts of wine, liquor, and weed while playing beer pong one floor above us. i took a ten minute nap before we went to mcdonald’s and when i woke up, i asked everyone if we were still going (it was 5 am and we said we were going for the breakfast menu), and they all said “bro none of us can fuckin walk” so i went back to bed.

tell me why i wake up at 7 am sharp, in the same clothes i was SAd in the day before, sleeping in my suitemate’s bed with her? i woke up to her face and i was like “yo why we sleepin together?? wait why am i in her bed???” so i got up to piss then walked into my room to get in my own bed.

i walk in to see my mattress topper halfway off my bed. i tried to push it back on but it wouldn’t budge. i’m like “damn i’m mad hungover if i can’t move a piece of foam.” i reach onto my bed to move my ikea bear (the really big one, i love him) and i fucking find my friend sleeping under it??

i start dying. like actually crying laughing. he gets up and he’s completely coherent he’s like “bro why you laughing?” i’m like “dude i didn’t know you slept in my bed what the fuck happened?” bc he’s literally one floor above us?? why didn’t u walk up one flight of stairs and walk ten steps to ur room? he’s like “well u went to bed in suitemate’s bed so i took yours” WHAT?? so i was like “go back to bed bro” and went back to sleep in my suitemate’s bed.

i wake up again at 9 am and go back into my bedroom to see how my bro’s doing.

tell me how my entire mattress topper was on the floor. the entirety of it. and he was still under seven blankets, my five throw pillows and the stupid bear.

he wakes up and my suitemate’s tells me ANOTHER MF was asleep in my room ON MY RUG. he left at like 6:50 am to walk back to the other side of campus to his room. i felt so bad like he could’ve stayed and i would’ve made him a comfier lil bed :(

at 10 am we all get a notif that we need to be off campus out of our rooms by 1. i’m tweaking, bc my uncle is the one who was picking me up and he didn’t get out of work until 5:30, plus 15-20 min to drive and pick me up, plus the hurricane weather, i wasn’t scooped until 6.

the friend who slept in my bed and i sat in the lobby and waited for his friend w a car to show up so we could at least get out of the school area for now. we went to get sushi, shit was buss. i explained to bro wit da car that i wasn’t getting scooped until at least 5:40 and he was like “nah it’s chill dawg we ain’t in a rush to get to the house we’ll chill w u” so i hung w them until 3pm when his aunt called him and told him he needed to go to the house bc of the storm.

so they dropped me BACK OFF AT THE SCHOOL. WITH MY STUPID SUITCASE. WITH MY SUSHI AND A HAT I STOLE OFF THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. i was tweaking. freaking out, even. i still had 2 hours

they left and bc florida is florida, it was super fucking sunny and warm out. so i sat at one of the many outdoor tables we have.

and of course about 30 min later it starts pouring something fierce. i get soaked. i call up my friend and was like “fuck yall for leaving me in the rain” he’s like “bro i’m sorry i didn’t know it would start raining” YEAH ME NEITHER BUT BRO CMONNNN U COULDVE SAVED ME.

i find a small little indent in my dorm building to hide in w no cameras and i change my shirt. i was still wearing the exact same fit from the entire school day prior. i didn’t even have time to change my clothes by the time i cleaned up all the alcohol left out (which was essential, because they did room checks to make sure everyone was evacuated) and packed my bag properly to go stay w my fam.

same pants, unwashed hair body or face, sunglasses bc of how violently high i got in the morning to forget my week, and sopping wet socks. eating hours old sushi in the outdoor mechanics closet of my dorm.

BUT I STILL LOOKED FLY AS FUCK BC THE SECURITY GUARD COMPLIMENTED MY FIT WHEN HE CAME TO ASK IF I WAS OK 🗣️🗣️🗣️😤😤😤

anyways i’m still tweaking. i’m like actually just not ok rn. and the worst part is i enjoyed my weekend so fucking much. it was amazing and i was so happy how my life was turning around for the better, with a nice normal man (unheard of in my life), a good friend group, and doing decent in my classes. i hung out w a bunch of new people, met some old friends from the beginning of the year, never did too much drugs (even tho it takes a lot for anything to hit me anymore so it’s not hard to avoid, and i don’t enjoy that feeling)

i had so much fun, my friends were pulling cute people, i pulled a decent guy. and im just so mad because i pride myself in how good i am at reading people. and im always so cautious. it just makes me spiral because like i’ve spent my entire life making sure it doesn’t happen again and it DOES. like i do so much to protect myself. i literally don’t even have romantic attractions so every date i go on is like a “ok you’re a good person maybe we can make something work” thing, never like a love at first sight/i actively want to be with you thing, AND I LITERALLY TELL THEM THAT. AND I TELL THEM I DONT FUCK. SO HOW DO I WIN?

i’ll never win 🥲

#problematicfanfics #how ver’s perceived #ver's serious discussions #ver’s chats

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ralaferin · 8 months ago

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long winded life whining

i have been with my partner every single day for about 3 weeks with no breaks to be alone. If I am not at his place he is at mine. i am a person who recharges with alone time.

REAL, actual alone time! which i Never Have because even if im at home, I have caring responsibilities. the situation at home is also always tense because of other reasons (parents relationship shit) so it is not a restful place to be regardless.

he went home this morning in a very fragile bad mood (for very good reasons, not at me) after venting about his suicidal ideations and i said i would come over after my game even though i am absolutely desperate for some alone time. the usual Trying To Support Someone Even Though I Also Feel Like Death

i played my online VTM game (10am to like? 3pm ish?) and was so exhausted afterwards that i went to bed and napped for an hour and a half

now he’s upset with me because “you said you would come over right after” and not opening or replying to anything I said

he also has real problems with sharing me with anyone else and I haven’t been able to keep up with any of my other friends full stop for months. my therapist has emphasised how unhealthy and codependent it is and even though I agree and I feel completely fucking smothered I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO

my parents had a horrible relationship and I have no fucking idea what a healthy boundary looks like or how to enforce one because the second someone is upset with me I fall immediately into people pleasing and fawning.

my only other relationship experience was a long term monogamous one where I got Jokingly put down so often it left my confidence completely shattered by the time it was over, and things came to light after it ended that made me realise the guy was actually a pretty fucking shitty person in a lot of ways that I didn’t see until later

The thing is, he genuinely treats me like a real gentleman and he’s sincerely excellent at handling my own horrific mental health. I’ve never had someone make me feel so beautiful and desired. He understands the mental load of caring for my mum and sees how crushed by it I am. He reminds me of my worth and he doesn’t put me down at all. He’s good with mum and helps me with things around the house without a single crumb of complaint. He makes me laugh and he dresses well and he actively wants to do hobbies together, never begrudgingly.

he’s genuinely a great guy and I’ve known him for like 8 years or something and he’s always been a steadfast friend

but

but.

what the fuck am I supposed to do?? i can’t be with someone who demands (in all but direct words) that i give up my friends and what few social hobbies i have to be with them. he struggles with recurring intrusive thought patterns that are probably ocd but we don’t know for sure and I can only support him so much. I’m a fucking mess myself, more than he realises, and the extra weight is crushing me.

I’ve never dated casually because I don’t even know how to and flying straight into another long term monogamous partnership also doesn’t feel good… this also started as a casual fwb situation that got more serious sort of out of my control and now I’m here. I know he can tell that some part of me I’ve been holding down is chafing and unhappy but I’ve bottled it up bc he’s suffering so fucking much at the moment and I don’t want to be a cause of it being even worse. He hasn’t said anything like “if you leave I’ll kill myself” but it really strongly feels like it, as he’s made me his sole emotional support and won’t fucking listen to me about seeking some support elsewhere ((“therapy is a racket for shaking money out of depressed people they don’t actually help you” attitude, won’t reach out to his family))

the extra psychological toll has made me start self harming again in worse ways than I used to and he encourages some pretty shitty things like my smoking a heap of weed and binge eating so I’ve also gained back all the weight I’d managed to lose and some extra too

there’s also that I can’t stop thinking about women and the recurring “am I actually bi or am I a lesbian” thoughts are back with a vengeance, and they make me feel horrible and guilty. World’s shittiest cherry on top of a big pile of turds. not that I would even be able to find out if I wasn’t already in a relationship, because I’m a fucking shut in and don’t know how to talk to people

#whinge whinge etc #genuinely the most asinine shit sorry. i feel awful #talk about drugs n mental illness and suicidal ideation and self harm warning

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the-lipizzaner-mare · 7 years ago

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Haven't seen my good mule in two days beacuse LifeAndResponsibilities™ and today I'm waiting for my long lost college roommate to visit so she can meet my cat and horse :)

Slavonia better behave because I know my ex-roommate's long wish has been to sit on a horse and this is the least we can do since she practically kept me from getting malnourished in college 😀🐴

#i dont cook #like at all #i lived off junk food #and she knew how to cook #like damn #she's vegan but the stuff she made #yum #also #im not leaving the bed until 3pm

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giverofempathy · 3 years ago

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i'm soooo sleepy today

#have been doing the same thing all morning #now we're on lunch break #and i wanted to leave at like 3pm bc im TIRED but we need fo finish all these gigantic bows today #so i need to stay until theyre done 😭#anyway yeah i hope this task will be done soon so i can go home #and then be sleepy in bed the rest of the day :-)

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altruistic-meme · 3 years ago

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having a depressive episode and blaming it on me being sick bc of my booster shot ✌

#this has been. me all week.#in my defense i WAS sick day 1 after i got the booster #but it is a convenient excuse as to why i stayed in bed until 2-3pm #the depression is also why i havent been answering many messages btw so if youve sent me one ive seen it and ily #im jsut tired and going through it but ill get back to you #also im at work today which isn't helping much but we're in my own another hour and a half or so abd then im gonna put in headphones #and jam while doing go backs until i get to leave #so at least ive got that to look forward to ✌#also Tea from my sister and her gf which is always fun #shh ac #seriously shut up

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imagines-mha · 4 years ago

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✩ haikyuu x how they are in the morning ✩

Daichi- acts like mornings dont affect him but they do. They really really fuckin do. This poor man is the king of masking his annoyance at everyone until he gets his coffee

Suga- actually a morning person! He doesn’t complain and just keeps his usual composure, says good morning to everyone and does his best to keep the spirits high hes an angel

Asahi- the only time this man will be outwardly rude is before 11am im so sorry. He looks so hot in the morning tho like his hair is down and he has more stubble OOF. will tell you to go away and leave him alone if you open the curtains and let the sunlight in, but he’ll never stop apologising the second he fully wakes up

Noya- WAKEY WAKEY EGGS AND BAKEY. He’s annoying in the morning and he fucking owns it. Will open the curtains and stand on your bed with all the energy in the world. Has definitely led to him getting punched multiple times

Tanaka- not really all there in the morning but he tries his best. Once he’s out of bed hes his usual self but GOD does he complain about EVERYTHING

Ennoshita- usually the one calling the others to wake tf up. He definitely gets 10 hours of sleep every night and wakes up to read and have his breakfast before his day starts. Never late to anything. Nerd

Tsukishima- scrolls on his phone for an hour before dragging himself out of bed. If bitter had a face. Dont fuck with him in the morning because he WILL bring up ur deeply rooted trauma

Yamaguchi- he has the CUTEST yawns in the mornings. Eats his breakfast while half asleep hes so fucking cute. Doesnt complain, but also can't hold a conversation to save his life so dont even try

Kuroo- pretends to be a morning person to annoy his friends. Opens the curtains and CLAPS in their face to wake them up. Like a dad but worse.

Kenma- no. nope. Takes 5 alarms to get him awake and then an entire hour before he even attempts to get out of bed he'd rather die

Lev- doesnt get up unless he wants to. Lev works on a circadian rhythm of his own. If he wants to get up at 7am one day and 3pm the next then so be it

Bokuto- complains the entire way through the morning like a child getting ready for school. Probably falls asleep on 5 different things before gaining consciousness, but can be easily persuaded to come to life if something he likes is brought up

Akaashi- dont even think of communicating with him unless hes had his morning coffee he just wont answer

Oikawa- tries his best to keep positive in the morning to keep that reputation up, but its probably just cus hes living on 3 hours of sleep lmao

Makki- can be persuaded out of bed with baked goods and/or the sunrise. If neither of these things are present, good fucking luck bro

Iwa- gets up every morning at 5am cus hes so dedicated to that grind 😎

Kunimi- mornings and kunimi dont agree. Kinda like kenma in the sense he just wont do them if he doesnt want to. has to be rightfully DRAGGED from bed

Ushijima- early bird like Iwa. Enjoys having his tea and watching the sunrise before going on his morning run

Tendou- does he even sleep? Noone has seen him get out of bed? Hes always somehow just? there?

Semi- grumpy as fuck in the mornings. He has horrible bedhead, he thinks the world is out to get him, he is ready to fight anyone who does so much as make eye contact with him. Pouty as hell

Goshiki- chronic alarm misser. He will set 4 alarms one after the other and sleep through every single one. He is SUCH a cute sleeper though sdcvbnhtres

Atsumu- tells everyone he gets up at 6am to go running. Shocked and appalled when his team finds him sleeping on the floor of the inarizaki gym closet. What the fuck atsumu

Osamu- dont wake him up. He’ll never forgive you. He’ll get up when HE wants to get up.

Kita- the sunrise is the only thing keeping this man going. Usually calls his grandmother in the mornings awh. Makes his team snacks and drinks for the day

Aone- good morning he is an angel. He will literally thank you for waking him up. He isnt different than he usually is, but yawns a lot more. Very polite

Futakuchi- ‼️ walking hellfire do not come into contact ‼️Kamasaki makes it his personal goal to piss futakuchi off every single morning and it works so easily. He will beat you up

Koganegawa- RAY OF SUNSHINE IN THE MORNING. Also makes futakuchi’s life hell but his energy is unmatched i love him

Terushima- he is just a Mess. Will not hesitate to come to school with bedhead and then fall asleep on the desks. Talks like every syllable pains him. Drama queen™️

#oikawa tooru #sugawara kōshi #atsumu miya #ushijima wakatoshi #akaashi keiji #bokuto koutarou #kuroo tetsurou #kenma kozume #hq #haikyuu!!#hq x reader #tendou satori #semi eita #iwaizumi hajime #kita shinsuke #osamu miya #terushima yuuji #daichi sawamura #tsukishima kei

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just-some-moss-and-bones · 3 years ago

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tw: rant, sleep disorder, mention of self harm, swearing, all caps.

you know when you randomly wake up at 3 am because of some random sleep disorder you probably have. and you just know your not going to get any more sleep after that .

like wtf am I supposed to do. just not be asleep until 5 but then , uh oh it's now too late to sleep might as well get up.

it's not even like this is a normal thing for me. it used to be the other way around, like I wouldn't sleep until 5 in the morning then sleep past midday.

but for the last 2 nights I got to sleep fine at about 10:30 /11:00 (that's really early for me)

like at least if I was still not sleeping at the right time it was at least for long enough but now I don't even know what to do

add my probable ADHD the mix and I can't even 'just rest' like my mum tells me to do cause I have to do something otherwise it's just painfully boring. and that usually means I'm on my phone seeing as my stupid fucking brain can't think of anything else to fucking do!.

like logically I know what I have to do like not on my phone and make sure I have a nice comfortable bed or space to be. if I need to do something get up and do it not in my bed. but brains not working properly so that doesn't happen.

having my mum in my room used to help but now it doesn't cause I get anxiety over the fact that I'm keeping her awake and then I just end up crying for hours👍.

I can't take sleep pills or something like that because I'm scared that it will somehow affect my brain to make it even worse than it already is (stupid ik but that's my brain for you).

I can't get up and sleep in a different place that, doesn't make a difference (I've tried many times)

I usually just resort to watching YouTube or violently crying so I don't end up throwing things or hurting myself.

plus the fact that it's genuinely affecting my normal life so much. I haven't been in a full day of school for literally weeks. I've missed all my mock exams and I'll probably miss all the catch-up ones as well. literally the only time I'm going in is for drama lessons because if I'm not in I'm effecting 3 other people in the group.

I think school is part of the reason I can't sleep because it just causes me so much dread to even think about being in school even though when I do go In it's not even that bad.

I get anxious in the evening about school the next day and about trying to get to sleep and failing for hours, then when I'm trying to sleep I work myself up with worry about school and how that will effect my wider life after I leave school. then I cry for a few hours, watch YouTube and maybe occasionally sleep.

at least that was the routine. bur now it's completely switched itself around and I'm sleeping from 10pm till 3am and then I just end up sleeping through the day .(I slept from 9am till 3pm today👍)

I'm failing every subject but art and history (and mayby drama) but the schools not going to know that because I'm not in for any of the fucking tests.

I don't even know what I can do to even try to start making a difference

I'm full of anger at the world. full of rage at myself for not being able to just be a normal functioning human being. I feel like I need to just shout or punch something but I don't want to hurt myself so o don't know what to do. if it's not either of those im just full of unmoving cripleing despair. is this what depression is like idek it just feel so hopeless and doing anything just feels pointless

it feels like a east of time to go to sleep just to have to wake up the next day and then go to sleep again at night .

my brain just tells me to do one or the other and then I end up doing both in a really fucked up time scale.

at least when I had that routine I knew what was happening and I could prepare (that's probably the autism).

and now it's gone half 4 in the morning and I'm still not even FUCKING TIRED just exhausted.

there's probably more I could write but I can't be bothered rn. I might talk to my counselor about this and I'll update if I get anything helpful but in the meantime bye.

(sorry this wasn't supposed to be that long. if you have read all the way to here have you got any advice? (don't worry if not))

I genuinely don't know what to do.

can anyone help? please?

#mental health #sleep disorders #adhd #autism #long post #rant #advice?#mentally ill #neurodivergent #depression #anxiety

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primeministerofantarctica · 2 years ago

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at this point im giving up on having a normal sleep routine. so what if i dont get out of bed until 3pm on my days off. im a sleepy bitch leave me alone /lh 😴

#astra rambles #personal #on one hand: less time to do things #on the other hand: i am so fucking tired tm

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wheelwonders · 3 years ago

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It wasn’t but 5-6yrs ago, I’d wake out of bed and jump to my day until that one faithful day changed the worlds around my family and friends.

July 4th 2017 started out as a normal morning and day for me. We went to Medina Lake mid morning met up with some friends to enjoy the full waters of Medina Lake, boat rides, and tanning. Around 3pm my husband, 5yr old son, 4mos old baby boy and myself started packing up and leave, we wanted to make it to the Boerne Firework show. I’ve watched every year since I was a wee lil one.

As we were packing up, we were offered one last boat ride to see around the lake and watch our friends middle child jump off a famous cliff around these parts into the water. I’ve heard about this cliff, but never seen nor jumped off it myself and well I’m a bit of a thrill seeker, adrenaline junky, call me what you may. Anyhow, once we arrived to the cove, it was a happening spot at Medina lake, so many boats and people swimming, adults and kids jumping off different levels of this cliff thats about 30-35ft from the top to the water. My husband said he’d already done jumped it and was good, same said with my friend and even his son chickened out but I put a life vest on and swam over. I didn’t want us to have sailed over there for nothing. My husband, John, he said he’d be at the bottom waiting for me. I started to hike that cliff until, there was no more hiking, I had gone to the top. When I looked down, I started getting tunnel vision, “Boy this is a heck of a lot higher up from up here than from the looks of it down there!” I thought to myself. I peeked down again and heard John yell, “Take your life vest off.” At that moment I wanted to turn around and head down to a lower spot to jump but that was steep and I didn’t want to break my leg or arm. I let a few others jump on before me, watched as they did flips and were wild having a blast from that jump. As I prepared myself to jump, I heard the voice I still believe to this day, the Lord Christ my savior “Don’t take off your life vest.” He saved my life that day.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and jumped. Hitting the water like it was a pile of bricks or a concrete building, lost function in one of my arms and though I had the vest on, I must have gone down at least 15ft into that water. That pain I felt in my back I can’t describe, but I can still feel it to this day. I thought I was going to drown after I awoke from blacking out briefly from the pain. As I looked up and saw the sun through the water, I asked God to tell my boys and husband that if I knew I was going to drown, I never would have jumped and I hope they know how much I love them. As I floated up, reaching towards that beautiful light in the water I finally gasped for air and could breathe! Legs floated up, my husband clapping and shouting “You did it! You jumped, how do you feel?” Im yelling out “My back, my back, my back John!!” As he got closer he heard and handled the situation calmly. grabbed my vest and pulled me to the boat. I’ll remind you, I had only one arm functioning at that moment, I was not able to get into the boat. So my husband, friend and his son worked together and on one of the waves John threw me up to them and they pulled me in to the boat, laying me on the bench. “I was hollering in pain, blacking in and out.” The waves driving back, were so brutally painful. When we arrived back at shore I tried to keep it together for my boys, I did not want them to worry. I couldn’t be moved or touched without screaming in pain. So my friends father in law drove his truck up to the boat, it had a covered bed. I was rolled up out of the boat and onto that truck bed cover, driven to a picnic bench next to my husbands Tacoma, rolled onto the picnic bench then carefully but quickly carried the short walk to my husbands truck. Every movement felt like I was breaking my back all over again.

The ER doctor, Dr. Charles Dees, told me I had broken my back, needed to see a specialist, and he hopes I don’t have a strenuous job. I had an incomplete spinal cord injury and I was left paralyzed from the waist down. No doctor’s note, he sent me back home telling me I needed to see a Neurosurgeon STAT, yet wouldn’t order the MRI while I was there. I knew it was a requirement before being able to see a Neurosurgeon specialist. I went home and after 3 days of my original physician’s office not taking this seriously I finally reached out to a family friend doctor who is a family practice physician. When I told him what happened, he got my records the same day from the ER, had an MRI ordered, sent a STAT referral to a Neurosurgeon, and even scheduled me an appointment. I switched all my care over to Dr. Jennings after that incident, he took care of me then just as he did when I was growing up.

Well, this is just the beginning of my story. I will continue my adventure and what happens next in a following blog post.

Love always,

~TaraKaye

Great Equestrian Moments (G.E.M)

“We love because Christ loved us first.”

1 John 4:19

IN GOD WE TRUST

#paraplegic #true story #blogger #fourth of july #wheelchair #hospital #emergency #accident #shockwave #moment #inspiration #nevergiveup #never forget #keep on keeping on

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pinkja · 4 years ago

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Sports, Crushes, College and All Other Things Stressful (Nora x Black Female Reader)

AU where Nora is a stressed out college student and you are a simple black girl who has no time management.

Nora felt like she was a simple person.

She grew up in a small town near Salt Lake City, made it through the akward teenage phase, and graduated high school with honors.

Does it matter that she was always so close to pulling her own hair out in frustration? She doesn’t think so.

She liked to think that her high school years went swell.

She was captain of the swim team, played in both tennis, chess, soccer, and volleyball. She was also co captain of the debate team, won the Reading Bowl in TOME for three years in a row (she didn’t join freshman year) and did a bunch of community service at the homeless shelter every other Saturday from 9am to 3pm.

Yeah, Nora was a simple person, she thinks.

Does it matter that she barely had time to sleep? She doesn’t think so.

She got into college with a full ride scholarship (which her family celebrated for two days straight. It practically turned into a block party.) She was on the Pre-Med track, wanting to become a pediatrician like her grandmother had been, and like her mother had been, and like her older sister had been as well.

Wait…who exactly was she doing this fo–

Doesn’t matter!

She got to get an apartment on the campus housing first year with her best friend, Abby, who’s a biology major of all things, when Nora was pretty sure she was gonna be an English major. Her room was pretty average, but Abby often made comments about how it really needed some personality.

“You don’t even have a poster!” Abby remarked one day while she was laying on Nora’s bed. She had an old copy of Lord of the Flies in her hands, read and re-read about eight times.

“Not everyone needs a poster, Abby.”

“Yeah, they do. Especially when you don’t have a book or a video game, or even something to play music on-”

“Isn’t it enough that I have a phone?” Nora placed her head on Abby’s lap. Abby rolled her eyes and sat up on the bed so Nora would be more comfortable.

“And you had to beg your mother for it. Now hush and let me finish this chapter.” She leaned against the headboard and made a comment about how she was going to buy her a poster for Dirty Dancing or something.

Now that freshman year was almost over, and tennis season for the school had started up again a month prior, Nora, being captain of that and many other teams, was starting to feel even more stressed. She has to aid the coach in training the less athletic recruits, plan their next meeting, and prepare for their next game which was in two weeks, which was a few days before a big biochemistry test.

She was out by the track, the slightly warm early April air hitting the side of her sweaty face after almost an hour of staying out in the sun. There was another hour of practice left, and with a clipboard, a pen, and a timer in her hand, she watched the baby-faced girls run laps around the field.

“Ok, the game is on a Saturday, it takes around 30 minutes to get there by bus, so 30 minutes to get back… but the game ends at 6:30 so I have to give at least another 30 minutes to an hour for traffic, not including the time it takes to shower and pack our stuff up so the latest I’d get home is around…” She looked up from her clipboard, tapping her feet on the floor. “Jackson! If you want to play in the next game you gotta beat your record! Pick up the speed!” She called out to a red haired girl.

God, I really hope I’m not sweating out my hair, she thought, brushing a few stray hairs back in her ponytail. Nora went back to muttering.

“Ok so that means I’ll be home by 8 at the latest, and if I lock myself in my room and pull an all nighter, I could probably get all my studying done by 6-ish? Maybe… I would have to stock up on coffee. I’ll stop by the store on the way ho–”

Nora’s quiet rambling was interrupted by a voice.

“Hey, Captain!” Nora didn’t turn around, already knowing who it was by the voice alone.

(Y/n) (L/n).

Ah, Nora’s feelings for you were…complicated, to say the least. But we’ll get to that later.

“Sorry I’m so late.” You rubbed the back of your neck with a sheepish smile.

“Fourth time this month, (Y/n).” Nora’s voice was stern, exasperated and a bit annoyed.

“I know. I know, but–”

“You know the drill. 10 extra laps and you have to beat your record or else you don’t play in the next game. Go.” Nora didn’t look up from her clipboard, but knew you were pouting anyways.

Your footsteps echoed in Nora’s ears as you ran to the field, smiling at your teammates as they passed you. She marked off your name on her clipboard and wrote “Late” next to it, again, with furrowed eyebrows and annoyance tickling the back of her brain.

When 4 o’clock came, the girls all filed out of the field and towards the locker room, feet tired and sore. You were still running, of course, doing the 10 (plus 10 extra) laps you were assigned. Although you weren’t, Nora felt like you were taking your time, acting as if you hadn’t a care in the world.

“God, I have to get home and study…” Nora whispered and rolled her eyes, even though only 5 minutes had passed. By 4:15, you were done, walking back to her while rubbing your left thigh.

“How’d I do, Captain?” You asked while wiping the sweat off of your forehead. You balanced yourself on the balls of your feet. Nora clicked the button on her timer once again and finally looked at you.

You had sweat stains on your blue shirt, and you picked at the edge of your shorts that rode up your thigh just a little bit.

“Two minutes under your last time. I guess you get to stay in this time around.” Nora said curtly, pursing her lips while doing so.

You smiled as if you already knew the answer. “Aw come on, Captain. Have a little faith in me, yeah? I’m not all bad.” Your nose scrunched you as you pouted.

God your lips were so cu–

“But I do stink though. Imma hit the showers real quick. You coming?” Nora gulped, mind going a little to the left as she snapped out of her thoughts.

“Yeah.” Was all Nora could say in response.

They walked into the locker rooms, all of the girls clean and gone. Nora placed her things on one of the benches, opening and looking into her locker for clean clothes. You did the same.

“Jeez, all that time I put into doing my hair only to sweat it out in less than 10 minutes. I don’t know how you do it, Captain.” You remarked, looking in the mirror of your locker. Nora hummed, but didn’t respond. She grabbed some fresh clothes from her gym bag and started stripping.

Nora peeked into the mirror in her locker at you. Yours was diagonal from hers. You were still looking at yourself, not at her. Part of her wanted you to be.

Once she was done, she wrapped a towel around herself and grabbed some soap and a rag. She showered in silence, only being interrupted by the pat pat of your footsteps on the floor as you hopped in the showers next to her. You tied your hair up and put a bandana around your head before starting the shower, and Nora looked away before she could see anything else.

She thanked whatever god there was that there was a wall between you two.

But what if there wasn’t?

Nora started to feel very self-conscious all of a sudden. She started to take note of the stretch marks and too thick hairs on her stomach and arms and legs.

Oh my god, is my hair presentable?

She went to smooth out her hair with a (thankfully) not soapy hand, but stopped herself. She wouldn’t want to ruin her hair now. She spent all morning getting it together.

Wait? Why am I worrying about my appearance? My body is fine.

After her little realization, Nora started scrubbing really hard at her arms and legs, preoccupying her mind with the upcoming test.

Nora finished before you did, wrapping a towel around herself and waiting until she was out of your sight to start drying herself. She put on some lotion and deodorant, got dressed in a pair of grey sweatpants and a green shirt and sneakers before grabbing her stuff and going to leave.

“Captain!” Your voice stopped her.

Dammit! She was almost free!

“Yeah?” Nora took a few steps back but didn’t look in your direction.

“Can you…um…stay?” Nora’s spit got caught in her throat. “I mean, until I’m done. I really don’t like being in the locker room by myself. My mom always told me don’t let myself be in a room alone.” You let out a laugh, albeit a bit nervous.

Nora nodded, spitting out a stuttered, “Sure.” She hopes she didn’t sound too excited. She leaned against the outside wall of the showers, facing away from you once more. Nora waited (im)patiently, suddenly remembering how she forgot her glasses at home and that’s why she hasn’t been able to see well all day. She also remembered the stain on the coffee table that she was too busy to clean up because she was rushing out of the house because she had slept through her–

The squeak of the shower faucet snapped Nora out of her thoughts as the rush of water stopped. Nora kept her eyes on her shoes as you passed her, suddenly very interested in the speck of dirt on the toe of her left shoe.

I should clean it later, Nora thought.

“Captain?” Nora’s head snapped up, looking towards you with large brown eyes. You brought a plump lip into your mouth before giving Nora a smile. You were done getting dressed, snatching the now-wet bandana off of your head.

God, is it hot in here? Nora feels like she’s been sweating oceans.

“Thank you for staying. I’m sorry if I bothered you.”

“No problem.” It’s not like she doesn’t have a test she has to study for or a meeting at 6 for a club that she really couldn’t remember the name of now which was really concerning, but Nora couldn’t bring herself to care because you were smiling at her and Nora’s heart was not working anymore.

Although part of her wanted to be mad at such a carefree attitude and your seemingly lack of schedule, she settled on scolding you instead.

“Practice is next Monday at 3. Try not to be late next time.” You nodded before grabbing your stuff from the bench behind you and walking out of the locker room in silence. Nora followed before you both split off in different directions.

Nora’s weekend was filled with nothing but meetings and studying and homework, with the constant repetition of “Game on a Saturday, test on a Monday” leaving her mouth. She started her mornings at 4 am, going for a 2 hour run around campus. At 6 she went back home and took a shower, answered a bunch of emails about things that Nora couldn’t bring herself to care about anymore, and then she spent a good 3 hours studying old material from her classes, read a book she was assigned for Lit, then she was back studying again.

Wait, did she eat anything?

She wouldn’t have if Abby hadn’t practically shoved a piece of turkey bacon down her throat because, “You literally haven’t eaten since yesterday afternoon” which she should be grateful for her friend’s willingness to remember the important things for her when she forgot them. She had meetings for Spanish and French Honor Society, Creative Writing, the school’s green club, and she also had to tutor a bunch of kids who were failing their math classes.

And to top it all off, you were late to practice, again! God, Nora wanted to be mad at you. You were being selfish at this point. Didn’t you know that if you were late she had to stay with you until practice was over?

Well, technically, she didn’t. She could leave practice whenever she wants to but honestly she didn’t want to leave you to practice alone. Plus, you might slack off!

Nora’s eyebrows twitched at the thought. It’s like you didn’t have a care in the world! You just walked around wasting her time, your time even!

You arrived 15 minutes late, better than last time, but still late.

You were already preparing your excuses, but Nora shushed you, telling you to go and practice on your serves. You did just that. Nora had already completed her drills, now just waiting for you to show up. She wrote your name down and the word “late” next to it once again before she went back to observing her team.

Once 4 o’clock rolled around, the girls rolled out and into the locker rooms, while you stayed behind. Your serve was good, Nora thought, you were just a heavy hitter and would forget to try and get the ball into the court first.

After watching the ball fly past the court for the 3rd time, Nora sighed and made her way over to you. You spotted her and gave her a smile.

“Hey, Captain! You need something?” You asked as you threw the ball in the air. You hit it across the net and watched as it flew straight into the wall. You grabbed another ball from the basket next to you and went to do it again until Nora gently grabbed your wrist and pulled it back down.

“You hit too hard, (Y/n). Try it again, but with a little less force.” Nora stated, backing out of the court to watch you once more.

You tried again, only for the ball to land just outside of the court.

“That’s ok, (Y/n), just try again.” Nora encouraged you. You tried again and again, only for you to keep hitting it out of the court.

You let out a huff, frustrated. “Captain…” You whined, turning to her with dragged feet. “This seems pointless. I just keep hitting out of bounds.” Nora raised a brow, not taking you for the type to give up so easily.

“You know we can’t leave until you get it right.” You pouted at her answer before going to try again. Nora stopped you, walking up to you and grabbing the hand you were holding your racket in. “Here. Make your hand face the net. That always helped me serve better.” Nora turned your wrist. “Now plant your feet so they’re in line with your shoulders.” You listened. “Now breathe in, slowly, and as you breathe in, toss the ball into the air and as soon as you exhale, swing. Don’t focus on the force. Focus on how your hand moves to hit the ball.” Nora realized how close she was to you, how weird this must’ve looked to others and what they might think.

She was starting to get self-conscious again.

Nora cleared her throat and backed out of the court again. Once she was far enough, you served again, the ball just making it into the court. You jumped up in excitement, coily hair bouncing with you. Your eyes darted towards her, a wide smile on your brown face.

“Captain! Captain I did it! Did you see?” You spoke with the giddiness of a child with a new toy, and, suddenly, Nora’s anger at you disappeared. Nora nodded with a smile.

“I saw. Good job, (Y/n).” You smiled wider at her praise, going to pick up all of the balls you managed to drop. Nora helped.

After cleaning up the mess you made, you both walked to the locker rooms. You repeated your routine from Friday, with Nora finishing earlier than you once again. Nora remembered how you had asked her to stay, and decided not to leave you behind. She walked to her locker in silence, getting dressed in some jeans, a graphic tee, and her same pair of sneakers she always wore before leaning against the walls of the showers like she did once before.

She was still facing away from you.

“(Y/n)?” Nora called, despite the lump in her throat about having to talk to you while you were naked.

“Yeah, Captain?” You answered, stopping the humming you were previously doing.

“May I ask, um, why are you always so…late?” Nora tapped her fingers on the wall and hoped she didn’t offend you with the question.

You were silent for a moment before answering. “I just lose track of time, y’know?” Nora’s eyebrow twitched again. You spoke as if you knew what she was thinking. “Yeah, yeah. I know that’s not a good excuse. However, I get so caught up in the little things that I just forget to remember the big things.” Another twitch of the eyebrow.

God, was it gonna get stuck like that?

You turned off the shower and wrapped a towel around yourself as Nora moved to sit on the bench. She preoccupied herself with her shoes again and waited for you to get dressed. The buzz of your phone interrupted the silence between you two. You grabbed it from out of your locker and looked at the bright screen before scowling and placing it back in your bag.

“I wanna know, Captain.” You started, as you put underwear on. Nora cursed the human evolutionary habit of looking at anyone and anything that made noise, as she had turned her gaze towards you as you were putting on a dress and oh my goodness you weren’t wearing a bra. Nora’s face burned as she quickly turned back around to look at her shoes. “Have you ever had Mr. Lance before?” It took a few seconds for Nora to register your question, and once she did, she shook her head no.

“U-Um… no. No I haven’t, um… Why do you ask?” Preoccupy yourself with the test, Nora. Focus on the test.

Game on a Saturday. Test on a Monday.

“I wanted to thank you for once again putting up with me and helping me in practice. Other captains would’ve just left me there.” Now she felt bad for thinking about leaving. “You wanna go?” You turned to her with another smile, not caring that Nora wasn’t even facing you.

“You don’t have to. It’s really no problem.”

Game on a Saturday. Test on a Monday.

“Come on, Captain. Please. I promise you it’ll be worth your time!” Nora finally gained the courage to look at you, and you were pouting. Good god you were pouting and it was so adorable and Nora really has to learn how to focus again.

Game on Saturday. Test on Monday.

Nora was in a trance. Your eyes had caught her in a trance and she couldn’t get out but she had to. So she agreed to your little adventure. You jumped up again in excitement and Nora was once again reminded of the fact that you don’t have on a bra. You both walked out of the locker room and you led Nora down the street to one of the coffee shops about 7 minutes away.

“Mr. Lance is just a few minutes from here.” You started as you put your phone in your bag after checking it again. “And I know the name seems kinda boring, however, they serve the best ice cream there is.” You gave Nora another beaming smile to reassure her, even though Nora didn’t need any reassurance.

Once you both arrived at the little parlor, you opened the door for Nora and she was immediately hit by the cool air and the smell of mint. Nora scrunched up her nose a little bit and sat at one of the red chaired booths. You sat opposite of her and folded your hands on top of each other.

“What do you usually get here?” Nora asked you, pushing her glasses up to her face.

“I either get the triple chocolate milkshake or the extra cookies and cream ice blizzard. But that’s my personal preference. Get whatever you want.” You said nonchalantly, not even looking at the menu.

Would it be too embarrassing for Nora to admit that she didn’t know how to choose? Nora thought that yes, it would be. However she couldn’t just not order something after you had brought her all the way here. That would be rude! But it would also be rude to sit there and order something she wouldn’t want and then sit there and pick at it because she had never really had time to–

“And what about you, miss?” Nora jumped at the voice. She looked up from her death match with the colorful menu and at the waiter who was standing there with a notepad in her pale hands.

“Uh…oh! Oh! I would like a…” What the hell was that first thing you said? “A triple chocolate milkshake, please.” Nora’s face burned at her awkwardness. Maybe she didn’t leave that weird teenage phase at all.

“Coming right up! I’ll just take these off your hands.” The waiter grabbed the menus and walked off to the kitchen.

Nora tried to act like she didn’t feel your gaze on her while you waited, and felt grateful when your phone buzzed for the third time that afternoon.

“Guess I’m popular today, huh Captain?” You let out a chuckle as you turned your phone off.

Nora smiled back and she hoped it wasn’t crooked.

You pulled at a curl on your head and frowned. “I’m so glad tomorrow is wash day. My hair’s been so uncooperative lately.” You pulled at the same curl again and watched as it bounced back into place. “Captain.” You called her. Nora answered. “What do you think I should do with my hair? Twists or plaits? Ooh maybe I can do box braids instead.” You shot out ideas to her, hoping she would choose and make your life a bit easier.

“Um… I think you’d look good in–in twists.” Frankly you would look good in anything.

Wait, what?

“Don’t you have to set out the whole day for that? You have classes tomorrow, don’t you?”

“I have one class in the afternoon but it shouldn’t be a problem. I can catch up easily.” You said nonchalantly.

She looked at the clock on the wall to check the time. 5:45 p.m. She cursed how fast this day was going.

Their treats came a few minutes later and you popped open your straw and dug in. Nora did the same, eyebrows raising at the onslaught of very, very sweet chocolate attacking her taste buds.

“See. I told you it was good!” You said, licking a little bit of chocolate off of your lips. You swirled your straw around your glass. “I’m glad you decided to come with me, though.” You said offhandedly.

“Why did you decide to bring me here?” Nora didn’t mean for her voice to sound all nervous. She would roll with the punches.

“Hmm. I already told you earlier that I wanted to thank you for putting up with me.” You took another sip and stuck your tongue out a bit. “But also, and forgive me if I seem rude but, I thought this would relax you.” Nora raised an eyebrow. “You always seem so…pent up. Like a stiff. I just noticed that you might need some sort of release or something, Captain. That’s all.” Nora realized that you were the only one to address her as Captain after practice, and in that moment she started to feel very…different.

Was she uncomfortable?

No, Nora wouldn’t exactly describe it as that.

It was just that the heat creeping up her neck and the sudden realization that you were right and the idea of getting some sort of release, as you put it, was making her feel very, very weird.

It didn’t help that Nora’s gaze went back to your lips and eyes and hands and chest and the realization that you weren’t wearing a bra hit her again and–

Why the hell was she so focused on that? Of all the damn things to focus on? It’s not like the concept of not wearing a bra was foreign to her, she did it from time to time herself but what the fuck was so different when you did it?

Focus on something else, Nora. Focus on something else.

Like the test!

She had a game on a Saturday, and a test on a Monday.

Game on a Saturday, and a test on a Monday.

Game on Saturday, and boy were your eyes cute.

Game on Saturday, test on a Monday.

It’s not like she had a problem with it.

Game on Saturday, test on Monday.

She was fine. Nora was so fine. Nothing to worry about here.

Maybe she did need a release. A time for herself to relax.

Game Saturday, test Monday.

Oh god was she staring at you?

Game, test. Saturday, Monday.

Were you smiling at her? You look so sweet.

Monday. Saturday. Monday. Game. Test. Relax. Release. Relax. Relax. Game. Test. Saturday. Monday. Relax. Release.

Her glass was empty and you were smiling at her and UGH.

Nora stood up, her knees knocking into the booth as she did so.

“Is everything alright, Captain?” You expressed concern over her. Your eyebrows furrowed as your smile went away.

“I gotta go.” Nora managed to choke out. She reached into her back pocket for her wallet as you stared at her with confusion.

“What? Are you sure?” Nora threw $20 on the table and grabbed her bag from the floor.

“Yeah. I gotta… I gotta go…” Nora turned and sped out of the shop, leaving you alone.

She made it back to her apartment and unlocked the door with shaky hands. Abby greeted her from the couch, hair in a low ponytail instead of its usual braid.

“Hey, Nora you–“ Abby stopped herself when she finally looked at her roommate. “What’s wrong?” She turned to her and grabbed her before Nora could sped past the couch. “Come on. Around the couch you go.” Abby pulled Nora by her belt loop around the couch and made her sit down. “What’s up with you. And don’t say you have another test to study for because you’ve already studied enough.” Nora scrunched up her nose and looked away from Abby.

“There’s no such thing as too much studying.”

“Nora…” Abby’s voice was stern.

“Fine, fine… There’s this… this girl and she… she said I was a stiff and treated me to ice cream today and I can’t focus around her and also I can’t stop thinking about her and also–” Nora plopped herself face first into Abby’s lap, groaning loud enough for her roommate to hear.

“Does my Nora have a crush?” Abby teased at her, poking the back of her head. Nora sprung up.

“What! No! Of course not!” Abby didn’t believe her. “I just can’t focus around her, that’s all. And it’s frustrating me.” Nora defended herself, slumping against the couch.

“Hmm. Sounds like a crush to me.” Abby retorted, leaning her head on her hand.

Nora couldn’t have a crush! I mean, when has Nora ever had time to think about crushes? Or dating? Hell, with boys or girls!

“I don’t have time for crushes, Abby.” Nora slumped some more until she sat on the floor.

“You don’t have time for anything, Nora! All you do is work, work, work. And I know we’re in college but that doesn’t mean you have to give yourself to the seeds of capitalism just yet.” Abby kicked Nora in the thigh as a way of telling her to get off the floor.

Nora got up with a pout.

“All I’m saying, Nora,” She started, propping her feet on the coffee table, “is that maybe this could do you some good. You got to enjoy life, and you can’t enjoy it if you’re stuck hunched over a book all day.” Nora rolled her eyes before retreating to her room to take a cold shower.

The next morning, after her 4am run and a long shower, Nora got dressed for the day and sat down at her desk to study. She didn’t have any classes today, her professor for the day sending out an email to cancel class the night before. She opened the giant biology textbook that never left her desk and tried to remember where she had left off last.

I was writing notecards, she remembered as she searched her desk to find them.

Her search was interrupted by the loud ping of her cellphone. Nora chose to ignore it, thinking that it was probably just Abby trying to remind her to eat something. Her phone vibrated again and Nora rolled her eyes with a loud sigh and got up to check it out.

She walked over to her bed and picked the phone off the pillow, squinting her eyes at the sudden light hitting her face as another notification came.

“Hi, Captain!” It was you. You texted her.

Oh my god you texted her!

“I know you said only to use your number in case of emergencies but I guess this would qualify as an emergency because you kinda left in a hurry so!!!”

“Are you ok, Captain? I wanted to check up on you afterwards but I didn’t know whether you’d want me to use this number or not so I didn’t text you but I didn’t know what happened and I was getting nervous so I texted you.” God did you ramble.

“Sorry for rambling.” You sent a few seconds later. You added a crying emoji for effect.

It was then, in that moment, that Nora realized she didn’t know how to respond to you.

Why weren’t her fingers moving?

Why was she just staring at her phone with a stupid face?

Move, dammit! Move!

With a deep breath, Nora let out a big, long groan of, “ABBY!” Said friend was at her door within seconds, hair in a frenzy and protein bottle in her hands, ready to attack someone.

“Nora! Nora what is it? Is someone dying?” With wide eyes, Nora handed Abby her phone, to which Abby lowered her guard and grabbed it out of Nora’s hands. “Nora are you fucking kidding me?” Abby deadpanned after reading the messages, seeing it was only someone expressing concern over her friend and not like…cyberstalking her or some shit.

“I don’t know what to do please help me.” If Abby wasn’t so mad at her she'd tease her for her inexperience and compare her to a lamb. Abby flopped on the bed with a groan and started typing away.

“Wait, wait, wait! What are you doing?” Nora asked frantically as she tried to snatch the phone out of her hands.

“I’m replying. Duh!” She said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“No, but Abby! What are you saying to her?” Nora whined, attempting to grab it again only to fall on Abby’s lap.

“You know, for someone who denies that this is a crush you aren’t really helping your case all that much.” She continued typing, and Nora thought that whatever she was typing would be long and embarrassing and stressful.

“Abby!” Nora dragged out her name as she tried to reach for the phone again. “Come on! I know you’re gonna put something embarrassing!” Nora gave Abby a pout and made no move to move off of her friend.

“I’m not! I swear!”

“Then read it to me!”

“What?”

“Read what you wrote to her!”

“Ugh, you’re so childish.” She said as if she wasn’t the one typing something to Nora’s…Nora’s…well…Nora’s whatever. “Hey, (y/n).” Abby paused. “Such a cute name by the way. Good choice.” She continued. “I’m fine. Thanks for checking up on me. I was wondering if we could meet up later and–” Nora started to protest, reaching up for the phone. Abby held it away from her. “And I could, hey quit that–” Abby smacked her hand away. “I could explain why I’ve been acting so weird lately, if that’s alright with you–Nooooooo.” Abby whined like a child when Nora snatched the phone away and deleted the text message. “All my hard work! Wasted! Oh the inhumanity!” Abby fell on the bed, fake fainting.

“I don’t wanna meet her.” Nora muttered as she stared at the phone with a glare.

“And why not? I told you, this is good!” Nora looked at her in disbelief. “This is good! You need a break, Nora. If you don’t slow down now next time you have time for yourself you’ll be a bag of bones!”

“Not a bag of bones…”

“Yes, a bag of bones! So you are going to take this phone, text this girl back, and you are going to talk to her or by god I will throw your planners away. And I know where you keep them. All of them.” Abby pushed the phone up to Nora’s face.

“Even the Scooby Doo one?”

“Especially the Scooby Doo one. That goes first. Now type.” With a cry and a wail about how hard Abby was making her life, Nora started texting you back, giving the phone to Abby for approval.

“Hey, (y/n).” She started typing. “Abby please don’t make me do this.” Abby didn’t budge. “I’m fine. Thank you for checking up on me. I promise I’m ok and you don’t need to worry about me–”

“Don’t put that. You're invalidating her feelings.” Abby interjected.

“…I’m happy you checked up on me. If you want I’d like to meet–”

“Abby I’m nervous! Please can’t I just go back to studying?” Abby told her no.

“…up with you again. Maybe sometime this afternoon. Or whenever you want to it doesn’t have to be today it could be tomorrow or next week or–”

“You’re stalling.” Abby warned her, already reaching for her Scooby Doo planner hidden under her mattress.

“…Is this afternoon good?” Nora closed her eyes and hit send.

You replied within a minute.

“Sure! How about around 5. I should be done with my hair around then.” You sent a bunch of emojis afterwards and Nora plopped down in the bed with a groan after she agreed.

“See? You see how good things go when you listen to me?” Abby put the almost destroyed planner back in its place and patted Nora on the head. Nora groaned even louder. “Now. I want to know what time you’re going so you can have time to look nice.” Abby added emphasis on that last part. “And I mean it. No sweatpants or oversized jackets. I want you looking nice.” Nora’s face dropped at Abby’s constrictions.

“You’re already making me suffer by going outside but now you’re making me dress nice? You’re killing me, Abby!”

“No, I’m helping you. Now hold on for a second. I need to text the group chat about this historical moment.” Nora's eyes widened as she watched Abby get up and run back to her room before she could stop her.

When 4:30 rolled around, Nora patted herself down nervously and stared at Abby with a confused face.

“Come on, Nora. You look fine.” Nora stared at herself once more, her black jeans, light blue t-shirt and black shoes seeming too…boring for this.

“I-I don’t know, Abby. Maybe I should just cancel and say I got sick. Is it too late to hit myself with something?” Nora held her purse in shaky hands.

“No! You’re doing this. Now come on.” Abby dragged her from out her room and to the living room, where their friends, Manny, Owen, and Mel were hanging out and watching tv.

“You guys! Abby’s forcing me to go outside! Help me!” Nora tried to plead as she dragged her feet on the floor.

“Hmm… I don’t see a problem with that.” Manny spoked, looking at her with amusement clear on his features.

“Yeah, Nora. Owen and I for sure thought you were going to turn into a vampire or something if you stayed inside any longer.” Mel agreed while Owen nodded his head.

“That’s not how vampirism works and you know it!” Nora planted her feet into the ground and groaned. “Owen! Hide me! Help me! Save me!” Nora pleaded as Abby pushed her along to the door.

“Sorry, Nora. My expertise is animals not humans.” He said with a shrug and put his head on Mel’s shoulder.

“Traitors! Traitors! All of you!” Abby finally got her to the door and pushed her out with a huff.

“You be back no earlier than 6. Got it?” Abby ordered. Before Nora, could protest, Abby interrupted her. “If you wanna save the Scooby Doo planner you better start walking.” Nora closed her mouth and glared at her before calling her a muscle head and walking away. She heard the chorus of bye’s and have fun’s as she walked down the hall. You both had agreed to meet up at the campus park, and as Nora walked up, she saw you sitting on the bench with a book in your hands. Nora recognized it as Pride and Prejudice, something Abby had read a thousand times.

You looked up and spotted her. With a smile, you said, “Hi, Captain!” You placed the book beside you and waved at her. You had twists in your hair, and it went down to just below your shoulders.

“Hey, (Y/n).” Nora sat down next to you and placed her hands in her lap.

“I’m glad you decided to meet up! I was really worried about you yesterday.” You tried to keep the smile on your face despite the concern present.

Nora’s face burned as she rubbed the back of her neck.

“Yeah, um, sorry about that I…um…” Nora couldn’t really explain herself in that moment.

“No need to explain yourself, Captain. I’m just glad you’re ok.” Your smile never faltered and Nora decided to smile back.

“But-But thank you! For, um, taking me to the ice cream place yesterday. I really appreciate it.” Nora didn’t know why she was stuttering so much. If the group were here they’d be laughing at her.

“No problem. I like going there a lot. Not just for the treats but…it’s calming. Gives me time to get away.” Your phone buzzed and you checked it with a frown.

“Is everything alright?” Nora felt kinda sad when your attention wasn’t on her.

“Yeah. It’s just my stupid ex.” EX? Ex as in ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend? Ex-partner? Oh my god what was Nora thinking? She didn’t have time for crushes! Let alone any time for exes or dating of feelings or–

“Hey, Captain.” Nora perked up.

“Y-Yeah?” She could run. Nora could run and hide and go back to the apartment Scooby Doo planner be DAMNED.

“You remember when I told you about getting caught up in the little things?” Nora remembered, yes. “This is one of those little things. Just relaxing in the park, or going to the ice cream parlor, or staying after practice with you.”

Wait, what? Nora must’ve misheard.

“I could never share those little things with anybody else. Not even a person I had thought I liked. But I can with you.” You turned to her with a smile, moving a stray twist from out of your face. “I’m glad I was able to show you the things that relax me. Hopefully, Captain, they can relax you too.”

“Nora.” She blurted out.

“Hmm?” You titled you head to the side.

“You can call me Nora. I-I don’t mind.” You smiled at her, and Nora started to feel her heart burst in her chest.

“Ok…Nora.” Oh.

Oh.

Nora liked you.

Holy shit. She liked you.

“I-I’m glad you thought about me so much.” Nora played with her fingers as she spoke.

“Well, Nora. How about we go see a movie? I hear there’s this new mystery movie that’s so intense that people lost their senses when they left the theater!”

Nora laughed at your giddiness.

“Sure. I’d like that.” You stood up and grabbed your book to place it in your bag. You held out your hand to Nora and she took it, although a bit hesitantly.

“Cool. Let’s go, then.”

Maybe, just maybe, Nora could learn how to handle a crush this time around.

#the last of us part 2 #Nora x reader #Nora Harris #Nora Harris x reader #black reader #tlou2 nora #Nora Harris DESERVED BETTER BLACK GIRLS RISE #This is for the black girls and gays ONLY #the last of us part ii #tlou fanfic #tlou2 #tlou2 fanfic #Abby Anderson #tlou #fluff #gay sap Nora #gaydies let’s GO #Black reader #Nora’s stressed and gay and stressed about that

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