#im not in a bad headspace or anything

[rippley-media]

Bitches will think they're not depressed and then remember they show many signs of depression consistently, have consistent symptoms that regularly affect their life, and have tons of possible causes of it.

me im bitches

Maybe I've just associated the idea of depression with being sad all the the time and having suicidal thoughts. Because like, I haven't had those since the psych ward. Maybe the psych ward is just making me subconsciously not have those thoughts to stop myself from going to the ward again. After all, the ward really did do nothing to help me, and it was a life-altering experience.

I have fallen out of a lot of healthy habits, like keeping my room clean and going to bed at not 5am. I've also just been having a lot of issues consistently with eating and staying asleep. Yknow, all signs and symptoms of depression.

I can't even keep track of what day it is anymore. Days, months fly past me. I have no point of reference for time. I'm losing interest in things I'm passionate about. Is this depression, even if I don't necessarily feel bad??

[kevinsdsy]

ANON??? im pretty sure someone sent me an inbox today about jean x kevin x shawn but i can’t find it anymore and i think i might have accidentally deleted which KILLS ME bc i really wanted to take a look at it now omg this just ruined my day i hope anon knows i did not ignore them and will now forever think about your inbox :(((

[selamat-linting]

resignation letter is the most potent painkiller. i love you resignation letter i love you one month notice <3

[stolenpensfromspencers]

Buon Compleanno Bruno Bucciarati!!!💞💞💗💗💖💕💖💖

late happy birthday for everyone's fave capo

bonus self indulgent doodle and the sketch:

[capricioussun]

The reason i say i have like seven different versions of UF on rotation in my brain is because there are several different Styles of UF that i really like and can never really decide on which I'd consider my Main one, on top of also Lore, which i have a few different ideas for, too.

So like, we have the one i talk abt most often probably, which we'll call AngstFell, because. I'll be honest i love angst and i love doing terrible things to characters. This is the one where they have core issues, supply issues, food shortages, LVlost culling, very complicated and sort of miserable relationships between just about all of the characters. No One is having a good time pretty much, but despite everything, there is still hope...

Then there's how i often mentally refer to it as SillyFell, which is basically just like. If everyone in UT decided to try to be mean and was mostly really bad about it. In this one, things are still generally worse, but having LV is still somewhat uncommon, mostly only guards would have it, and people are generally more sad than they are mean/angry.

And then we have what's probably """closest to canon""" as far as my understanding of it goes, where it's sort of somewhere in between the two prior ones, in that there's definitely still silliness, and their UT selves aren't too far removed from them, but it still can get pretty heavy, and problems aren't as surface level as Silly.

Then we have my """fanon"""fell which is essentially something I've done for most AUs, where i try to imagine circumstances that could possibly, believably (by my own standards and interpretations) make the characters behave more in line with fanon portrayals. This one's way more difficult to summarize since the changes are more character specific, but generally, as far as "seriousness" goes, it falls in a similar place as "Canon"Fell.

And then there's Tale to Fell (v.1) which is essentially based around the idea that UF kind of started as UT, but slowly became UF due to Circumstances like core trouble and slightly different events going down with the humans, both during the war, and with what happened to Chara and Asriel. (End results are similar to "Canon"Fell)

But there's also Tale to Fell (v.2) which is based on the premise of UT slowly becoming UF after Frisk has fallen into the underground due to waaay too many resets and gradual code fuckery. (Opposed to v.1, this is actually a concept I've never seen explored before! Not to say it isn't out there somewhere, but i have a rough draft layout of a potential fic abt it that will...probably never happen bc it would take a lot of commitment lol)

So we have those bad boys, but then there's also differences depending on Lore. Like there's one version i think of sometimes where Papyrus is the older brother, or a version where Gaster didn't make Sans and Papyrus but was actually their adoptive uncle, and another with Gaster Papyrus where, as it goes, the incident that "shattered" Gaster created Papyrus, one where Undyne knew the bros as kids briefly, one where Asgore's just Terrible for like, no real reason, like. There are a lot of ways to think about it!!

And that's not even taking into account all of the Fell based story ideas like the psychonauts one, the one where the bros are gb shifters, one where Papyrus is [redacted], one where there's a zombie like plague outbreak that can only affect monsters with LV, one where Frisk winds up living underground with them all for a Hot Minute, and then of course there's the AUs, like Vesselfell, Horrorfell, Heartfell, Lovefell, Invertedfell, Orangefell, that mysterious one I've been mulling and have not talked about at all with Albatross-

Clearly i am very normal about this 👍

[kienansidhe]

idk as a disabled digital artist whose commissions client stream dried up in the past couple years and is now fully financially dependent on my partners: my 'lost income' is not the fault of ethical ai artists. its actually largely the fault of ppl who hate me specifically and have been stalking and harassing me and getting my accts banned since 2021 and want me dead but thats a whole other story.

i dont find the process of ekeing out the images i want from ai generators to be fun or rewarding but like. i suppose i could learn to do it if i wanted to. that wouldnt magically give me clients, though. i wouldnt get some kind of magical leg up by turning to ai. itd just be a different way to make art, one i just dont find fun, which is the only reason i stick to digital drawing. its what i love, even if its painful and i cant do it all the time. i dont resent ppl who love smth else tho?

its baffling to me how sour grapes ppl are abt other artists finding ways to continue creating just bc they perceive it as easier or smth. even if it was easier (its not, actually try using one of those programs sometime to get a specific image you want and come back and tell me how easy it is), like. i do digital art bc its easier for me than traditional art. with my aphantasia i cant just draw an image, i have to trial and error it out with a lot of ctrl+z and resizing and warping and canvas flipping i cant do with pencil and paper. that doesnt make it less valid than traditional art? its just a different way of creating. for me to create the exact same image with traditional media would take hundreds or thousands of hours with lightboxes, tracing paper, redrawing an image so many times it might as well be animation bc i get so much wrong the first dozen times i draw it, like. the editing process to make it look the way i want would be insane. i could do it, given the time and resources, but why should i, unless i find that fun? bc suffering builds character or smth? what are you catholic?

[teruthecreator]

if i microdose my edibles do u think i can finally eat without immediately feeling like i have to throw up

[sidereon-spaceace]

Need to do shots and get angry in a voice call with friends but unfortunately one of my reactions to high emotion is- you guessed it!- crying, which I cant do in front of others in any capacity or else i will explode into a million pieces and die horribly. So tragically, I am at an impasse

[bbnibini]

I used up all of my socialisation points with my past reblogs and ask. (My social anxiety spiked fr but I really appreciate the tags and rb even if I feel like I didn't make any sense I'm glad you got something from it lmao) I usually don't really share in-depth opinions about lore unless asked or encouraged. Mostly cause I hate writing. If I'm gonna do any writing, I might as well write a fic. Connecting to that, I'll still keep the beta reader forms open! I have already contacted some people pre-beta.

If you have not been contacted, let me know! I filtered out some potential spam submissions and might have accidentally tagged you as such.

[boyenthusiast]

watched one (1) episode of a new show that reminded me of my ex and now i am not okay 🙃

[sunhalf]

i need one of u 2 give me angst that makes me cry

[wacklemons]

i have a beautiful plan called i gotta get out of my parents house as soon as possible and not live with them ever again

[gay-4-space]

yknow i said stressor in that past post but its probably just a trigger since im sitting here 2 hours later with my mental health in the gutter having to constantly shut down passive suicidal thoughts like im 15 again

[givtit]

i'm rotting on the inside actually

[scarletcomet]

my tech writing professor wanted to talk to me after class today (I am not doing well and many weeks behind on a really big assignment and tomorrow is the last day of classes). I ended up going back to her office with her because she had brought her dog to campus. i told her a few weeks ago that i was struggling with depression, making it difficult for me to do my assignments. anyways, pretty early on, she was like “do you think about killing yourself” (or something like that). i just casually said yeah all the time. idk it’s just weird for a professor to ask you that. i’ve never had a professor who’s actually cared about me before. when i was leaving, she said something about not wanting me to hurt myself, and I assured her i wouldn’t (i meant like in a life-threatening way), but then she like pointed to my arm and was like “not that either.” i was wearing a sweatshirt but had reopened a cut on my arm in class and while we were talking, so I had pushed up my sleeve a little bit as to not get blood on my sweatshirt. she gave me a band-aid. that was by far one of the most awkward and personal interactions i have ever had with a professor. she’s really nice and supportive. i feel like i really overshared though. she asked me if i was suicidal. i think i just mentioned ‘bad thoughts’ or something because that’s kind of essential in explaining my current situation, and one of the reasons it is so difficult for me to do my schoolwork (whenever i try to focus, my thoughts like drift and i end up thinking about hurting myself, and the only things that help are distracting myself and self-harm).

[droolypupboy]

tips for solo puppy play!!

pup play doesn’t have to be a partnered activity and solo play can be EXTREMELY fulfilling. you deserve to explore your headspace 🫶🫶 i have another post for more general tips for feeling more puppy, you can check that out here, a lot of things on there are ALSO applicable for solo pups.

warning, this is not for puppy regressors!! this is an nsfw post and probably not safe for u if you regress while online. stay safe, sfw puppies.

i would recommend checking out the above post if you want more details on the following: playing fetch alone, puppy snacks, & oral fixation!! all those things can help a LOT for solo pups but since i already went into so much detail previously, this post will have its own unique set of tips. i’m a puppy & i own a puppy sub so im super smart and you should listen 2 me!!!!

🐾 eating from a dog bowl can help a lot!! but even if that is inaccessible or not to your taste, you can just sit/lay on your tummy on the ground and eat small snacks from a plate. be careful of choking if you choose to lay!!

🐾 make little pup noises!! if you feel yourself going nonverbal and you’re in a place where you’re safe and comfy and have the time, lean into it. make little “hmph” noises when you’re confused, little squeaks when you’re excited, whine and pant, do all the things!! these can be used both sexually and nonsexually. it should come naturally if it’s gonna happen but there’s nothing wrong with doing it on purpose to get the ball rolling.

🐾 you can either invest in a large dog bed OR you can make a little nest of pillows and blankets.

🐾 being on all fours, sitting on the floor, & laying on your tummy are wonderful. inaccessible?? that’s okay!! these are enhancers, not necessities.

🐾 ALL you need for this is a bedroom and some random items. find some things (bad options are things like keys, lighters, phones, anything you use super frequently) to hide and go find again. the more space you have the better but even in smaller spaces, it can be VERY fun to lean into.

🐾 tilt your head in confusion, nudge and “paw” at things, nip and bite at things (safely, clean things, nothing that could hurt you or that you could choke on).

🐾 if you can afford it, invest in a knot style toy. it can help a lot in feeling like you’re small getting used by a bigger dog if that’s your thing. toys with suction cups are amazing too, the less you have to work, the better!!

🐾 do NOT be afraid to use pup centered asmr. it’s available on many many places but most accessibly, youtube & soundgasm through the site flaru. its not cringe, its not silly, it can be rlly good for the headspace. if you’re not sure if you’ll like it, give it a go!! why not??

🐾 invest in dog toys if you can!! make sure to clean them thoroughly before putting them in your mouth, stored r nasty, don’t use any that an actual dog has used only use fresh ones. if you can’t do that, chewelry, largely available on etsy and marketed for sensory issues (which yes, it does work for as well) is a really nice & discreet option.

🐾 go to town if you have a PRIVATE back yard!! run around!! have the zoomies!! chase toys (do not put them in your mouth if you’re playing outside)!! just have a good time.

🐾 press your nose against the window and watch the birds & squirrels & any other animals outside!!

🐾 overstimulation!! it’s rlly good, lose yourself, don’t stop until you can’t take it anymore. silly pups need to get fucked stupid.

🐾 slobber on toys (of the sfw AND nsfw variety), suck your fingers, get messy eating a popsicle or something similar. spit can be VERY puppy if you can handle the mess

that’s all for now, silly pups!! have fun, play safe, be kind to yourself, and remember that all of us puppies are different and unique. what makes one person feel puppy might not make the next person feel puppy. figure out what works for YOU. being puppy is an independent journey 🐕🦴🐾��