#im not gonna say who they are bc that would Absolutely open myself up for doxxing but! theyre so good?
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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year ago
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Boy King Seb :D
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#thank you to Grace for the idea of making his chivarly collar red bull instead <33333#he was gonna have both collars but then making that one made me suffer so no not today#this was a lot of fun but also made me suffer. but i keep looking at it and being like AAAHHHHH BABY!!! BABY BOY!!!!!!!#can you believe i tried to do this in one night? i cant#i stopped and came back to it and was like 'no way you could do this in one sitting at 1 am'#this is kinda the ascended form of that very first sketch i made for this au! concentrated boy king sebby!!!#i say to myself i need to take a break from drawing complicated things but youll prob see a nando version of this in less than a week ;;;#okay about the drawing(i wrote good tags and then tumblr deleted them so these are a bit inferior AGH):#this is typical pouty seb but is also referenced off a specific pic from AD 2009(beloved)#its very important to me how emotionally open Seb is. im not sure the specific context of this. maybe after a triumph?#but instead of being that typical stoic serious detached kind of ruler; i like him being openly emotional(think AD 2010)#its important as well for his dichotomy with nando and how they choose to portray themselves#seb is very assured in himself and his rule vs. nando who is more insecure and bitter about his#so nando takes strides to portray himself in that more stoic calculating way bcs he feels like it helps him legitimize himself better#whereas seb has absolutely no care for outward public image and shows how he feels and is loved for it(nando hates it but loves it)#not that nando cant be fun and whimsical!! but to me he always seems a bit more mysterious; like i can never tell his true thoughts tbh#anyways i feel like ill finish 10 more drawings before i end up posting the lore pt 2 LMAO#its just a lot harder to organize and layout compared to part 1 which was just an explanation#pt2 would be a mix of more world building/characterization/anecdotes ive talked about with mutuals(LOVE YOU GUYS!!!)#i have a *lot* of ideas (gotta whip out my notes app every once in a while to write down stuff abt it) just hard to put into a coherent pos#sebastian vettel#f1#formula 1#f1 art#formula 1 art#f1 fanart#formula 1 fanart#catie.art.#*ill prob make a process post later if anyone is curious!! its fun to write abt my process and influences and such#boy king au
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pepprs · 2 years ago
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beaver gnawing on wood noises
#purrs#delete later#this is gonna be a bad / hard post and i’ll have to delete it. like it feels like in making it im invoking cosmic forces to show me karma or#idk like being an ingrate or whatever. but sometimes i find myself on social media rabbitholes looking at instagram pages of.. women who#like really genuinely appear to be good moms to their kids. and love them for who they are and don’t try to make them anything different.#and who celebrate their quirks and stuff. and even share interests with them at the bare minimum. and it just makes me want to sob. like the#knot in my throat. i shouldn’t do it bc i just hurt myself but it’s like. im so lucky i have a mom and that she provides for me. and i know#there are valid reasons for that being all she can do. but also why can’t she… idk.why can’t she ummm love me. or celebrate me. or find#magic in me. or at the very least accept my humanness and be open to me like giving her feedback on stuff. even tonight at this panel this o#one woman was like yeah my two daughters call me on stuff and im like you’re right. if i called my mom on stuff (and i do) she would give me#the silent treatment (and she has) or eviscerate me (and she has). and people in my work life and on here call me endearing and say all#these things. but it’s like none of it can fill up the absolute aching pulsing void that is… my mom. my mom!!!!! is just a person i live#with anr resent most of the time. who has hurt me so badly. and i could have had a mom who like. let me sing and didn’t mock me for it.#and who came in and said goodnight to me and my sister instead of leaving us to o ur own devices because we’re twins and we had each other.#and 14 years ago today was the day that fully cemented in that she could not be that kind of mom and would never be. and i know she tried so#hard and i know she has been hurt and is still hurting. but i just want to scream. like everyone deserves a mom who loves them for who they#are and shit. and how fucking unfair is it that.. like it sounds so selfish and entitled. b it how fucking unfair is it that i got a mom who#im afraid of and then there are people like fucking… m*lissa err*co and sh*ron wh*atley (those are just the famous ones) who by all#appearances seem to be like.. not only loving but open. seeing their children as human and magic all at once. instead of a war prize and a#symbol of their own hardships or whatever. like it’s just so fucking unfair. i hate that this is the way things are for me and that it will#never change and that if it ever does i have to be the one to change it or i have to heal from it and let go of it. like FUCK that! i want#love from my mom! FUCK the fact that she can’t give it to me!!! she has to!!!!!! but she won’t. idk. delete post <3#like so genuinely i should not be even typing these words bc god is gonna smite me now lol. but my heart is howling#and the shitty thing is i don’t think i’ll be able to be that kind of mom if i ever become one bc of how badly all of this has hurt me. and#bc of all that i don’t even think i want to become a mom anymore bc i don’t want to be the reason a child feels this way or grows up to.
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modernmutiny · 1 year ago
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Apparently one of my fav bands was playing at the venue next door to my work tonight (and played my all time favourite song. Twice.) and so my streak for missing out on concerts bc of this job continues. Some of the people leaving were really nice tho and dropped back by after to give me a pin so my faith in the world has yet to fade, don't fret.
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sanaexus · 6 months ago
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social's as reo's girlfriend
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-liked by nagi.seishiro, kuniisuke and 198.3k others
yourusername: he loves me (trust)
tagged: reo.miikage
isaichii: is he hiding his face bc he's ashamed or bc he's ashamed? ↳yourusername: COME ON I'M NOT THAT BAD 🙁🙁 ↳isaichii: the last time we went out to a fancy place you said deez nuts to the waiter who asked for your order ↳rin.itoshi: she dressed up as cinderella to take out the trash ↳yourusername: THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET?? ↳reo.miikage: i love you but what the fuck? ↳yourusername: you don't get to say that when you threw a hissy fit over nagi choosing isagi ↳reo.miikage: betrayal often comes from the ones you least expect it from
user1: did he pay you to take that picture ↳yourusername: no ↳user1: know your worth girly ↳reo.miikage: you'll never beat the gold digger allegations this way ↳yourusername: what if they aren't allegations and actually true ↳reo.miikage: what ↳reo.miikage: Y/N WDYM ↳reo.miikage: OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR WDYM BY THAT
nagi.seishiro: without me? ↳yourusername: lil man you better stafu bfr i hurt your balls bc he's with you 24/7 ↳user2: lil man ain't he like 6'0 ↳user3: sometimes lil man do be a 6'0 giant oversized mop of white hair ↳yourusername: he legit pats your hair like a cat, carries you around, pays for all your shi, kicks balls w you tf you want let me have him for sometime ↳nagi.seishiro: choki misses him ↳reo.miikage: im omw dw ↳yourusername: step out of that fucking door and i'll make sure both of you end up like kaiser ↳mikka.kaiser: UN FUCKING CALLED FOR THE FUCK DID I DO ↳yourusername: idk im js a girl ↳alexis.ness: don't feel safe no more not until i'm around ↳yourusername: i like being kidnapped /hj ↳reo.miikage: wtf
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-liked by isaichii, megubachi and 187.2k others
yourusername: i've only had mr.teigo for a day and a half but if anything happened to him i would kill everyone in this room and then myself
tagged: reo.miikage
chigi.who: who the fuck is mr.teigo ↳yourusername: SHUR UP GIVR HIM RECPEST YOU FOOL ↳yourusername: hes the purple ballon btw ↳sae_itoshi: shut* give* rsepect* ↳shiidoryu: YOU GOT IT WRONG TO LMFAO ↳itoshi_sae: it was fucking autocorrect ↳shiidoryu: you can be "it" i can be "autocorrect" that way you can fuck me 😊😊 ↳itoshi_sae: and they say romance is dead ↳chigi.who: are we gonna ignore the fact Y/N WOULD COMMIT MURDER FOR A FUCKING BALLOON??? ↳reo.miikage: pretty tame if you ask me ↳nagi.seishiro: it's normal ↳rin.itoshi: surprised she hasn't already ↳isaichii: v v normal ↳megubachi: my monster likes him ↳julian.loki: being honest so would i he's so cute 🎀 ↳yourusername: hOW DARE YOU TWO ASSUME IT'S GENDER !!! THEY SHOULD BE ABLE TO DECIDE FOR THEMSELEVES APOLOGIZE TO MR.TEIGO ↳kuniisuke: YOU CALL HIM "MR" INDICATING HE'S A MALE FUCKING DUMBASS ↳yourusuername: my balloon my rules
megubachi: i'd let mr.teigo braid my hair and then we skip to the near by garden where we swing tgt ↳yourusername: YES OMG YES !!!! ↳reo.miikage: no ↳yourusername: go be 👬 w nagi or something
user3: why do you look so 😾😾 in the first picture ↳yourusername: i pointed at a fish and said "aww look it's so cute" and without any hesitation he's like "yeah reminds me of nagi" ↳nagi.seishiro: L ↳yourusername: i'll beat your ass in fnaf come fight me lil boy ↳nagi.seishiro: i'm betting choki on it ↳oliver.aiku: GASP!11!!1!11 HE'S BETTING CHOKI?? Y/N'S GETTING COOKED ↳yourusername: like how isagi absolutely cooks you<3 ↳eita.otoya: foul? yes. do i want you to keep going? yes
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-liked by chigi.who, karasu_tabito and 201.3k others
yourusername: it isn't reo without nagi
tagged: reo.miikage, nagi.seishiro
user4: the third picture LMFAO ↳yourusername: when reo realized his soccer (life) partner got stolen by some puzzle solver ↳mikka.kaiser: IT'S FUCKING FOOTBALL WE'VE GONE OVER THIS ↳hiyori: suck my dick ↳yourusername: ask ness to do that he does it to kaiser all the time, his head is prolly better ↳alexis.ness: no what the fucj ↳yourusername: 🎀👬
nikkoki: damn shawty you seem good at biting lips how ab biting mine @/reo.miikage ↳yourusername: take nagi instead pls
reo.miikage: who the fuck and I MEAN WHO THE FUCK EDITED THAT LAST PICTURE ↳yourusername: it suits you ↳reo.miikage: does not ↳chigi.who: you were plucking out the hairy part of your tooth brush to see if nagi would choose you ↳hiyori: HAIRY PART LMFAO WHAT ↳rin.itoshi: you mean bristles? ↳karasu_tabito: there's a name for that shi? ↳kenyu.yukimiya: no shit?? you don't js call it "the hairy shit on your tooth brush" ↳karasu_tabito: ... ↳eita.otoya: ... ↳kenyu.yukimiya: PLEASE DON'T TELL ME YOU THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT IT WAS CALLED
isaichii: wait if you two were kissing and nagi was playing video games then who the fuck took that picture? ↳yourusername: idk someone randomly dms it to me on instagram and i'm like yeah this is useful ↳reo.miikage: WHAT ↳isaichii: someone sent bro a picture of her and her bf kissing and she's like "yeah thanks" ↳yourusername: how else was i supposed to get pictorial evidence of nagi always being there ↳reo.miikage: that's js lies ↳yourusername: LOOK AT THE FUCKING PICTURE MATE
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i'm so sorry this took so long and it's so mid?? but i had no motivation and i js had to post something so
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hanilessa · 2 years ago
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HANI IM HERE NOW IM GONNA NEED YOU TO PICTURE THIS.
childe x reader friends to lovers okay, like they were in the same group of friends except when they breakup (for some reason) reader distances themselves from the friends group and in the end, reader isn’t even in contact w them anymore THEN ONE DAY!! they all decide to text in the old gc to suggest a meeting and reader accepts BUT reader being in a new relationship asks if they can bring their new bf!! old friends say yes cuz childe been acting like a jerk who moved on ect flirting here and there
BUT IN THE END WHEN READER FINALLY ARRIVES, HA D IN HAND W NEW BF AND CHILDE SEES IT HE GETS SUPER JEALOUS. cause he should be the one holding your hand duh 🙄 and he’s so mad bc, apart from greetings u did not talk but he sees u smile and laugh to the others so why not him?? and he’s all friendly with your new bf (despite his internal rage against him) thinking perhaps you’ll notice it but you act like you don’t care and it’s driving him INSANE,,
in the end he can’t stop looking at you and he thinks no one sees it but well the tension whenever he talks to you is too big for people around you to not notice
WHAT IF BF HAS TO LEAVE BEFORE THE END OF THE NIGHT AND CHILDE IS THE ONE TAKING YOU HOME AND HE WANTS TO KISS YOU SOOOO BAD
holy shit that was long, made myself want to write a whole ass fic for this AAAA
` Author’s notes: OMG DANI I LIKE YOUR IDEA SM KDJFGJDGKDJF!! i hope you don't mind me making ayato our new boyfriend. BECAUSE WHEN I THINK OF WHO WOULD BE CHILDE'S OPPONENT IN ALL ASPECTS, I ALWAYS THINK ABOUT AYATO. (AND IT'S NOT BECAUSE THEY'RE BOTH HYDRO DPS)
baby i'll make childe suffer here soooo bad for us, don't worry >:) i hope you like it, darling! ♡
it hurts me sm that i treated ayato so cruelly. he really loved us here TT
also my inbox is open for your requests! feel free to text me if you want to request headcanons. :3
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» :、♡  NEVER STOP LOVE ME
` Childe x Fem!Reader
` Genre: exes to lovers, romance, angst
` WC: 2.5K
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"Damn it." You thought as you took a sip of refreshing soda. Today you didn't plan to drink alcohol, but your old friends whom you hadn't seen for a long time very strongly suggested that you leave your dislike for alcohol and drink with them for your common reunion.
You were very happy to meet your friends again, but your thoughts were clouded by the fact that your ex boyfriend Childe was also present here, as he was part of your group of friends. You didn't have the good breakup with him.
The day he told you that he was going to study abroad, your heart was broken into pieces. Before your eyes all the plans that you both made for two ran through at a fast pace. They collapsed as quickly as tears came to your eyes.
You told him that you could leave everything you have in your hometown and leave with him, but when Tartaglia told you that there was no need for that, it was all over for you.
He so quickly broke everything that was between you two for a long time, like a glass slipper. He trampled on your and his feelings, your common plans with his foot as if it were some kind of trash.
That day, you and he broke up on a bad note. You suffered for a long time, sincerely keeping all the memories that you shared with him deep in your heart for a very long time. But you soon realized that you couldn't suffer all your life and that you had to move on no matter what. And after a while, you met Ayato.
He was absolutely adorable when he helped you with your shopping bags. You didn't notice how you and he started see each other every day, after that you realized that you fell in love with him.
Ayato reciprocated your feelings, and soon the two of you became a couple. It helped heal the wounds that Childe left in your heart. You completely forgot about your ex boyfriend, finding a new love for yourself, with which you wanted to go further into the future.
Exactly until the moment when today you and Ajax met again at an old friends' party.
You were absolutely happy when you received a message from your best friend Hu Tao, who wrote a message in friends chat. She invited you and all your friends to a party at her house.
You and your friends didn't see each other for a very long time after you broke up with Childe, and you thought it would be a good opportunity to meet them. And introduce them to your new boyfriend because you wished that all the people you loved could be friends. What you definitely didn't expect was that Ajax would be at this party.
Your heart sank painfully when you saw him in front of you after you and Ayato entered Hu Tao's house. Tartaglia was also surprised at first, not knowing what to say at that moment. When the silence between the two of you reached its limit, you took a deep breath and smiled awkwardly as you said.
"Hello."
Childe felt his heart skip a beat as he heard your soft voice again. Right now, looking at your hand, which was in the hand of another man, he clearly realized that he was the biggest jerk in this world.
And that only he was to blame for the situation in which you both were right now. Perhaps if both of you didn't break up, now he would hold you in his arms as carefully and gently as a man with blue hair did.
"Hello." Tartaglia made an effort to keep his voice from sounding too tremulous and exhaled sharply as you walked past him without another word.
Now remembering your meeting with him after several years of separation, you bite your lip, out of the corner of your eye watching Childe flirting with some girl on the other side of the room. It was painful and unpleasant to admit that past feelings that you tried to forget about gradually began to revive in your wounded chest.
You took another sip of soda and felt a hand on your shoulder.
Ayato looks into your face with concern.
"Are you not feeling well?" Your boyfriend asked excitedly as he gently lifted your chin with his hand. You smiled and shook your head from side to side, letting him know you were okay.
Who were you lying to? To yourself or to him?
"You look sad."
"Why do you think so?" You hummed, noticing how Ajax stiffens on the other side of the room as Ayato's hand touches your face. You have long since learned to recognize the tense state of your ex boyfriend. He was like an open book to you.
On the other side of the room, Tartaglia grinds his teeth, looking away from the girl who was talking to him. He is no longer interested in her open cleavage when his blue eyes find you in the arms of another man. He sighs in exasperation, trying to get his thoughts in order.
Ajax tried to remind himself that you and he broke up a long time ago, but when he looked at you, his heart was beating with great force in his chest, threatening to break out and end up again in your arms, where you carefully kept Ajax's heart before.
It was hard to realize that you were no longer his, that now everything of yours — both soul and body — belonged to another man, and not to him. And now, more than anything in the world, he hated himself for the fact that he couldn't touch you the way he used to.
Childe felt a bright fire of anger and rage rise through his entire body as the blue-haired man touched your chin. Sorrow and pain quickly spread through his body, making it hard for him to think straight.
Jealousy clouds his mind. He didn’t want anything so much right now as to tear off the hands of the one who dared to touch the girl who belonged only to him. But Tartaglia would never do it in front of you because he knew you hated it when he used brute force. So he takes a sharp breath, his face becomes completely casual, and the ginger man moves away from the girl with the intention of approaching you and your new boyfriend.
"Hey, are you listening to me?" The woman pouts resentfully when she sees that Childe's attention is no longer on her.
"Back off." He said casually, leaving the confused and obviously angry woman alone.
Right now all he cares about is you.
You raise your eyebrows in surprise when Tartaglia is next to you and Ayato. It doesn't go unnoticed by you that before looking into your eyes, he looks at the place where Ayato's hand rests on your waist. You felt your heart beat even faster, and your cheeks blushed as your ex boyfriend was finally there for you. You smile wearily.
"Hey, Y/n, we haven’t seen each other for a long time! How are you doing now?" Ajax says, flashing his bold smirk. He intentionally pretends not to notice Ayato next to you, but when you excitedly cling to the sleeve of your boyfriend's sweater, Tartaglia puts on his fake smile through anger and annoyance and says, "Won't you introduce me to your boyfriend?"
He tries to be friendly with your new boyfriend, hoping you'll notice it, but when you don't show any emotion about it, it drives him even more crazy, like you don't care about him.
"Ah…" You smile uncertainly, swallowing a nasty lump in your throat. "Ajax, this is my boyfriend Ayato." You point at a man with blue hair, then turn your attention back to the person you once loved. "Ayato, this is Ajax, my…" You break off in mid-sentence, as if forgetting how to breathe.
When you stopped talking, Childe felt his heart clench painfully as he realized that it's hard for you to even talk about him. Now he felt like a total idiot.
"Is he the man who left you alone and broke your heart?" You didn't have time to answer when Ayato's voice was heard next to you. Your heart sank when you heard your boyfriend's words. You looked frightened at Tartaglia, in whose eyes an irresistible fire of rage flared up.
"Hm, I see that you have found a worthy replacement." Hiding his irritation and pain behind slyness, the ginger man smirked defiantly. "I would even be upset if he didn’t answer me."
You knew he didn't mean it seriously. Because he always tried to hide his true emotions and feelings in this way.
There was a tense silence between the two men. It crackled like charred wires, and you excitedly ran your eyes from side to side, from one man to another. The last thing you wanted to do was cause a fight and attract too much attention.
An unexpected rescue came out of nowhere in the form of your old friends Hu Tao and Venti. The girl beamed at you, before giving Childe a quick cold gaze.
"Y/n, let’s go have that cocktail I told you about." She giggled and made an offended face. "You didn’t drink a single gram of alcohol today!"
Venti hung on Tartaglia, clinging to his hand, "Ajax, you must help me with one important matter. It is waiting for us in the kitchen in the form of several bottles of beer. You look a little tense. This urgently needs to be fixed!"
And both of you didn’t even have time to blink an eye when you both were pulled in different directions from each other. You could only look sadly into Tartaglia's eyes and catch the same sad gaze in your direction.
The evening came quickly because the party was really fun. You caught Childe's eyes on you more than once, but sincerely couldn't understand why he looked at you in this way. After all, it was he who put a big end to your relationship. When your eyes met his blue eyes, you saw how long-forgotten and tender feelings splashed in them, mixed with a huge sadness that was about to rush out of his eyes with salty tears.
Gradually people began to go home, you nodded in understanding when Ayato told you that he needed to pick up his sister from school. You always thought fondly of how much love and care he had for Ayaka. But it also reminded you about Childe, who always put his family first. You couldn't get rid of the feeling that you see Ajax in all the things that surround you.
When the party ends, you stand alone on the porch of Hu Tao's house, looking up at the starry night sky. You take a deep breath, contemplating how you can safely get to your house, when you feel a soft cloth rest on your shoulders. You shuddered in surprise and turned around, noticing Childe next to you, who was left in only one t-shirt.
Your heart filled with warm, but immediately after that, you made a frown on your face.
"So what about you? If you get sick because of your carelessness, don't even dare to blame me for taking your sweater."
The man laughed when he heard your words. You always said something like that, but you also always took care of him if he got sick. But that was when you two were together.
"Your boyfriend didn't even deign to walk you home." Ajax replied irritably, crossing his arms over his chest.
"He has important things to do." You tried to protect Ayato's honor, but only met the skeptical gaze of your ex boyfriend.
"There has never been a more important thing to me than walking my girlfriend home and making sure she's safe. I'll do all the other things later." The ginger man said, and you both fell silent.
Your heart beat faster and you felt unwelcome tears threatening to escape from your eyes, but you made an effort to hold back the tears. Childe took a deep breath and ran his hand through his ginger hair.
"I'll walk you home."
You didn't answer, silently moving forward. You panicked for a split second that the man wouldn't follow you, but when you heard his unhurried footsteps behind you, you immediately relaxed. Both of you walked slowly along the familiar road to your house and didn't even realize that both of your hearts were beating in unison at that moment.
Now for Tartaglia you were so close, but so far at the same time. And it drove him crazy. The very knowledge that you would never again find yourself in his loving arms tore his heart apart. And it was all his fault. What could he do to get rid of his selfish desire to feel you in his arms again?
He wanted to scream at the realization that nothing could be fixed. What he couldn't know was that you were thinking about it too with the same sadness that poisoned your soul.
As you two approached your house, you stopped and turned to Childe. He looked upset and smiled sadly at you, that made your heart clench painfully. The ginger man looked so sad, like a puppy who was kicked out of the house for tearing the upholstery of the sofa.
"Thank you for walking me home."
From Childe's side, in his eyes you looked like an angel. You were so fragile, in his favorite sweatshirt, shivering a little from the evening cold, wrapping your arms around yourself to keep warm. Your beautiful eyes looked back at him, and when he looked at your lips, there was no other way for him. How hard it is to see the lips of a loved one without the opportunity to kiss them. All he wanted so badly right now was to kiss you on the lips again.
He takes a step forward and when you don't step back at his actions, his heart sings with joy that you still trust him. His lips meet yours in a deep kiss that contains all your and his pain, suffering, sadness and love.
Ajax wraps his arms around you, enjoying the fact that you were in his arms again. It was the best thing he could ever wish for. To feel your lips on his lips, and the way you responded to the kiss, was heaven on earth for him.
You felt an incredible relief in your heart as Childe kissed your entire face with his lips. You both may be thinking about what just happened for a long time, and you both will need to decide what you and he need to do next, but right now it was absolutely unimportant. Because the most important thing right now is that you can once again feel like you're in the arms of someone you never stopped loving. Just like Childe never stopped loving you.
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galaxywarp · 6 months ago
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Hey Blue ;v; I just have something that I need to get off my chest, I need to tell somebody, so I hope it’s okay if I tell you: I have a problem with weed. As in, I need to stop using it. I’m thinking of, like, giving my stash to my friends so I can’t use it as easily. I need to tell my counsellor. But I’m scared. I need help. (Btw it’s not like it’s illegal here, it’s legal where I am. I’m scared because I’ve never dealt with something like this before)
Also, I have a question about your sobriety tracker (bc I use it too, just not for substance use) : when do you start tracking? From the last moment you put the drug in your body, or the first moment you sobered up from it/weren’t high?
And… I’m not weak for having a problem with weed, am I? Just bc like. It’s not a hard drug or anything, it feels kind of stupid to have this happen 😭
(Ugh I need to just say it. I’m addicted to it. Thankfully I don’t have much opportunity to use it, but I use it every chance I get, and I just broke one of my own rules that serves as a restriction)
Hi friend. Thanks for reaching out. I’m glad you’re on the step of your recovery where you can acknowledge you have a problem. That’s a really rough step
Especially because of the weird mixed signals and attitudes around weed addiction. I understand where you’re coming from.
And if it helps, this is me, a certified tweaker who used to OD on fentanyl regularly: your weed addiction is still real and still serious and you still deserve support.
Addiction is addiction when it’s hurting you. It sounds like you’ve come to acknowledge that weed is hurting you but even though it is, you’re struggling to stop.
You’re not doing it because it’s fun. You’re doing it because you feel like you need it and going without it is painful. I’ve felt that way about numerous drugs in my lifetime, and weed is definitely one of them. I would smoke myself so numb for months or years on end and it was absolutely miserable.
Im sorry you’re going through this. I have hope you’ll be able to overcome this. Im glad you shared this with me and I hope you can share it with others too.
If you do decide to quit, I know there’s a lot of stuff trying to claim that weed has no withdrawal symptoms. I don’t think that’s true. From lengthy personal experience I really don’t think that’s true. Heroin and meth were soooo much more extreme, don’t get me wrong. It’s apples to oranges — it can’t be compared
But when I stopped smoking pot I felt achy and agitated and bored and restless and upset and don’t let anyone, including yourself, invalidate that you feel shitty. It’s gonna feel bad for a bit and you have every right to own that. Don’t deny yourself some days of lying around whining and snacking and trying to distract yourself.
The good news is, after 2-3 weeks, you’ll start feeling better in a way you probably haven’t felt since you started smoking 24/7
If you need someone to vent to during that time, my askbox is open
Phew! That’s a lot. For your last question: my exact sobriety dates in my trackers are actually ….very loose
The short answer is that my memory of those times is very distorted because of, y know , drugs
The longer answer includes that I picked my dates as dates when I made a conscious decision that I wanted to quit.
My fentanyl date: September 27, 2019
I came home from a camping trip with my family. Because I was in the woods sleeping in a tent with them all weekend, I couldn’t bring my drugs. And I was gonna be in withdrawal
But I had saved a few suboxone from my last detox clinic and I used them over the weekend to keep the pain manageable (suboxone is used for opiate withdrawal so I had been prescribed it off and on for years)
When I got home I still had a small bag left of fentanyl.
I decided….i wasn’t going to buy anymore
And over the next few days I used what was left, all the way down to desperately licking the bag and smoking burnt tin foil, trying to wean myself so my withdrawal symptoms weren’t as bad
And then I ran out. And I stopped. And now im 4 years clean from it
Very similar story with my meth date: April 1st 2023
I still had a little bit of meth left but that was the day I said I didn’t want to get anymore. And when it was gone, it was gone. And now it’s been over a year
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ghostismybbygorl · 2 years ago
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Okay heres how id vibe with cod characters
First off i think my call sign would be 'mouse'
Bc im small i can scurry around places pretty quick and i can escape out of a situation fast as well that or cause i sneeze like a mouse
Id be a sniper and demolition expert ngl
Price
Legit i would call him dad 24/7 not like in a daddy kind of way but like legit a father figure
he'd just roll his eyes and accept the fact that he has another kid he has to take care of
100% would smoke a cigar with him though id smoke those tiny cigarillos (my brother smokes cigars and ill smoke a little with him)
Gift giving is my love language so whenever id visit a new country id buy him a cigar from there
I have a hat like his and i WILL wear it around and mimick him
Id do the grunts and everything
I feel like id be on more missions with him than anyone else
Definitely would hang out in his office to keep him company and annoy the shit out if him
Soap
Dont let anyone near us
Like
AT ALL
wed be doing diabolical shit especially since im an arsonist and free will plus military grade explosives plus mouse and soap. have the fire department on speed dial
We'd be the reason price is greying faster
100% stealing his shirts and hoodies they'd be so big on me
Im gonna be up front with this one
We'd be fucking. I'm down bad for this man
We'd annoy the absolute piss out of ghost. He can handle one soap but TWO hes gonna need the backpack leashes for us
Quoting vines and tiktoks ON THE DAILY
Jam seshes in the car would be 100% perfect
We'd have a snap streak and its only stupid photos we take
Im recording everything he does i know damn well hes always in a silly goofy mood
Definitely in the blunt rotation
He's definitely the type to find my snack rations and eat them in front of me
Lots of hugs and kisses for this man
Except when he eats my snacks
Wed play fight all the time. When i'm really close with someone ill start "beating them up" (just be faking to fight you)
Ghost
Oh this poor poor man
Have sympathy on him because he's going to try to avoid every ounce of my being
And i wont stop that
Im giving him hugs left and right this man needs some love
I feel like once i start cracking dark humor jokes he'd open up to me
100% would be making the most absurd worst dad jokes and laughing about it
We'd text on the daily mostly just me sending him memes and him sending a 👍🏻or a 👎🏻
Im stealing his hoodies and his masks
Id probably piss him the fuck off to be honest
Id give him so many gifts to make him happy i know he crinkle's his eyes when he smiles
In the blunt rotation too but i think he'd just join for the company and not smoke that much
Id be over in his room if im overstimulated and i don't want to deal with people
Id have him proof read my fanfiction and he'd be my personal dictionary cause i cant spell for shit
Gaz
Did i say big brother vibes cause HE WILL BE MY BIG BROTHER
Id steal his hat so many times but like not in the ride a cowboy kind of way
Id buy him the most ridiculous hats and he will 100% wear them
I feel like he was a spondgebob kid so i know damn well we'll be quoting some of the lines
Part of the blunt rotation as well
When I'm upset he's the one id rant to
Definitely would vibe in a room without talking to him in general
He's most definitely the one to keep me from being unhinged
Totally would listen to murder podcasts together
So at my previous job we had to wear full body harnesses and we played this game called the carabiniere game where you take a carabiniere and hook it on to someone without them knowing and you see who can put the most on them
Soap, gaz, and i would be playing it 100% all the time with each other.
Id also grab them by the harness and pull them around or clip myself to them
Let me get a video from my old job and just put em here and id just explain
Okay back to writing
Laswell
Once again id call her mom and she's just gonna have to deal with it
Id definitely spend time with her outside of work (especially since she lives in maryland my family lives up there) which gives me more of a reason to visit her lol
Shopping sprees i feel like she's a frequent shopper at tj maxx and target
I also feel like she gives the best life advice so id come calling if im in a predicament
Okay so i am partially fluent in spanish, my god mother and best friend are Mexican so I've been around Mexican culture the majority of my life
Alejandro
definitely calls me niña or cariño
I feel like he'd roast my spanish and doesn't correct me if i say something wrong
100% my drinking buddy
I feel like he'd be very protective over me
Id be his date (platonically) and hed be mine to all the family gatherings
Fucking Mexican families are so much fun too. party my tia throws one and im there two shots of tequila in my hand listening and damcing to music
We'd text on the daily i feel like he'd frequently visit me and my family in the south as well he'd be the life of the party at my tia's parties
Rudy
He's the one that corrects my spanish and WILL only speak spanish to me until I understand whst he's saying
Insert him pointing to a random object and says it in spanish
I feel like we wouldnt bond much but we would you know?
I also feel like he gives great life advice
Graves
Id kick him in the balls
He's the type of guy i avoid or ruin his reputation
Absolutely despise him
Completely roast that motherfucker
Drop kick him
He pisses me off so much
Gives off leo and cancer energy
OHOHOHOHHH AND AT THE BETRAYAL SCENE DONT GET ME STARTED
Id 100% try to fight him even before Alejandro would
Tbh id probably get killed by one of his shadows bc of it
König
Sweet babe i would help him through an axiety attack
PIGGY BACK RIDES FOR SURE
id hug him every-time i see him
Definitely would say uppies and have him put me on his shoulders
He definitely wont see me at all ( im 5'4) so he would definitely have to crouch down to see me
His nickname would be bear cause of how big he is
I feel like when he'’s comfortable around you he’s very out going
I have no clue how to speak german but i will act like i do
He's in the blunt rotation as well
Thats all i got for now 😊
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fairycosmos · 2 years ago
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do you ever feel like you know you need therapy but you feel like it won't work on you? like i've had Problems since i was a child and i've been on the internet long enough to research and learn most if not all the most common tricks and tips that a therapist would give me so i feel like, apart from maybe giving me meds, it would be a colossal waste of money.. i still know that i need help somehow because i've been rawdogging life for the past 25 years and im Tired, but it feels pointless to spend more money than i have for someone to tell me i need to get away from my abusive family and ~ practice mindfulness ~ lol
absolutelyyyy ive had this feeling and honestly i think meeting therapists you're incompatible with only intensifies that thought process like.....ive had these lifelong problems and you want me to spend my hard earned money that could be going to rent or food on some stranger that is telling me to breathe through my deeply rooted illnesses? it absolutely IS frustrating and i think your feelings of discouragement/burnout/exhaustion are completely understandable. the field of psychology has so many fucking issues that are fed directly into how MH professionals work with patients. im not even sure i have like an answer or a solution to it because i struggle with this exact same thing!
but i guess what i would say is that its important not to discredit the fact that every therapist works differently and every counselling experience is wildly different. you may very well know all the common tricks and tips for dealing with your specific state of mind (i totally agree btw, the internet had made me extremely hyperaware of my own mental issues for better and for worse LOL), but there is always something solid to be offered when you find a professional you feel comfortable talking to, who offers an outsiders insight. even if it's just getting a weight off your shoulders for that one afternoon. therapist shopping is extremely expensive and obviously inaccessible to most, so im not suggesting that - i guess my main point would be don't give up on ALL forms of mental health support available in your community hust because working with a few professionals didn't work out, bc it's so so common and it doesn't mean youre doomed or beyond help. you will always deserve that space to talk and to feel heard, even if you can half-guess what they might tell you in response. it's unfathomably difficult to find a strong, consistent therapist that you bode well with (i would give anything for one LOL) but i do think they're out there and that there are useful tools to be found in therapy or counselling or even just reaching out and being vulnerable in general. what i have tried to accept recently is that asking for help isn't going to solve any of my problems - it is not going to make things normal or easy because i have a neurodivergent brain and i have truly been traumatised. it is just gonna give me the tools and the suggestions i need to get through the day. and i still haven't found that myself - but i think it's likely that it's out there. and it's a step up from rawdogging life, if not a solution to life itself.
im sorry, i know this is not the perfect example or anything close to it. i myself breakdown often because i feel like it's so hopeless and difficult and relentlessly painful. but i urge you to always be open to accepting help if and when it is in front of you. even if it seems pointless. sending a massive hug your way. X
resource / resource/ resource / resource
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ladytauria · 1 year ago
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i think i reblogged it from you but never sent you questions, so for the book rec asks: 1, 13, 23, 44, 50, 54, 79, 92, 116, 130, 131 please!! thats A Lot, so feel free to pick and choose haha
ahhh thank u bean! i love talking books uwu
coming back up after answering to edit... um. bean, i'm so sorry for my answer on the last one xD i should have picked a different book. (i ranted. a little.)
1. a book that is close to your heart
there are a few books i could name, but i'm going to do the one i thought of first.
a girl of the limberlost. i only remember reading it once, but my mother is the one who gave it to me, and told me that it was a book she loved at my age at the time. (same with the secret garden.) so i can't think of that book without thinking of her, which makes it a little bit more special to me <3
13. your favorite romance novel
immediate impulse is to say legends and lattes by travis baldree bc. it's so good. however, while there is a romance i don't know if i would count it as a romance novel.
so.
the lady's guide to celestial mechanics. historical, sapphic, featuring both women in STEM (or, yknow, historical equiv) but also an appreciation for domestic arts / crafts normally looked down on. also there's an acknowledgement that homophobia existed, but there's none on page.
the prose is also gorgeous.
i don't actually read a ton of romance novels, but i've been trying to pick up more!
23. a book that is currently on your TBR
mmm, too many
but Our Wives Under the Sea - Julia Armfield went on sale on kindle the other day so! it's mine now <3 and one i've been eying for a while. the kindle cover isn't the one i wanted, but that's okay.
44. your favourite fantasy novel
a very large chunk of what i read is fantasy. this is HARD 😂
uhhh.
the locked tomb is technically sci-fi, isn't it?
fuck.
i'm gonna go with The Last Unicorn - Peter S. Beagle bc it is the only book i purposefully own more than one copy of! would love to get my hands on the graphic novel <3
honorary mention to the Inheritence Cycle bc reading Eragon was what got me to start writing my first novel.
which absolutely wasn't just. Eragon but with griffin riders instead.
(okay, legitimately, there were differences, but there was also definitely heavy inspiration.)
50. a book that made you cry a LOT
i don't actually cry at much? the last time i remember actually crying was when i was reading an abridged version of little women and beth died xD
i'm trying to think of another book which really grabbed me emotionally recently that also isn't. already on this list. and i'm coming up empty?
54. a book with the best opening line
i don't have a good memory for opening lines ^^; however for some reason i want to say The Lightning Thief, so. that's what i'm going with.
79. a book that reminds you of your favorite song
my favorite song changes by the moment, so i don't have answer for this one ^^;
92. a book about a redeemable villain
kay, so i almost answered this question with the book i gave for the next question, but i realized i don't? read a lot of multi pov books?? or at least not that i remember being such. i did remember one but it was the second in a duology, so.
so.
anyway!
the closest i can think of atm would be Empress of Forever by Max Gladstone. (highly rec this one, though i was a little disappointed when the pairing i wanted didn't happen xD)
116. a book with multiple povs
The Stars Are Legion by Kameron Hurley.
this book.
i.
woof.
okay, so. if you are. remotely squeamish, like. at all? you might wanna give this one a pass. (def check storygraph / other places for trigger warnings. im also happy to elaborate myself, lol.) i am. very squeamish, and made it through only because the story grabbed me tight and wouldn't let go. the worldbuilding is extremely interesting. the characters are all very different and both likeable and unlikeable in a million different ways. but.
oh boy, it was a tough one.
if you're NOT squeamish, though--
it was a 4 or 5 star read for me, iirc, so, y'know. recommended. not sure i'll ever pick it up again, but like. do not regret reading.
130. a book featuring flashbacks and/or intersecting storylines
i know i've read others like this, but the book that comes to mind is--and i had to google this bc it's been so long since i read it---Thirst by Christopher Pike. It was also published under "The Last Vampire." i don't actually recommend them; i read them during my middle school vampire phase and even i remembered being a little mindboggled. mainly bc i think there was an alien abduction in... the second or third book? idk, i had an omnibus.
131. recommend any book you like!
there's only one answer i can give to this, tbh. the locked tomb series brainrot is real and deep and i am. both highly anticipating and dreading the release of alecto so.
i gotta recommend Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir.
that SAID, i am well aware that this book has a reputation on tumblr esp for being poorly summarized, as the most oft-used pitch is "lesbian necromancers in space."
this is not an inaccurate summary.
BUT.
it is also not complete.
so first, some expectations: it's sci-fi, definitely, but also there are a lot of fantasy vibes? probably because of the swords and the necromancy and the sworn knights-esque plot. uh. basically, it's sci-fi like star wars is sci-fi, but also it's. it's not star wars.
second thing: this series is unreliable narrator central. tamsyn picks the least qualified person in the group for you to follow the story with, and it works. so well. like, firstly bc ofc things get explained (some; it does drop you in and expect you to pick up a lot through context clues) but ALSO because you WILL pick up things you didn't on re-reads. i did a reread before Nona and spent half of it screaming. i'm not much of an annotator beyond highlighting some lines on kindle but i was commenting all over the place.
uh.
i still haven't talked about the plot, my bad.
Gideon the Ninth follows the titular Gideon, after her childhood nemesis and heir to the Ninth House, is invited to the First House by the God Emperor of the Nine Houses to seek quasi-immortality and join him in fighting a war as old as the Houses themselves. When they get there, though, they soon find their fellow heir-and-cavalier pairs being picked off one by one.
this book also features a lot of gay... not pining, not really, but like. Gideon likes women and her pov spends a lot of time appreciating the other women with them xD (this is also part of what makes her unreliable as a narrator. plot? what plot? gideon is here for thirsting, and a little bit of pining.)
also mild enemies to lovers vibes.
ALSO there are memes. there's a none pizza left beef joke in book 2, i'm still not over it.
does get a little squicky at times with loving descriptions of bones and viscera, though.
if i keep talking about this book i won't ever stop <3
[ book recs ask game ]
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geckobrains · 9 months ago
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still not sure how we are going to approach this in regards to our online presence. the thing is that previously when it was just phi, lotus, & bee, the other two werent around a lot. so phi just based their online presence around themself and whenever the other two showed up they would just identify themselves.
now there's a bunch of us who are all really active, switching in and out multiple times a day. and i think i speak for all of us when i say we do not want to just Pretend to be one person.
so far we have identified 7 of us. there may be even more than that. so you see the problem. and again, we are switching A Lot.
we are open to suggestions as to how to approach our online presence.
& if ur curious, here's a list of everyone we've identified, & some other information, below the cut:
- Riley (it/she). riley is the most similar to what would have previously been Phi, before we split. chill and laidback butch girl. and is also a dog.
- Sunny (she/her) (the one writing this). relatively similar to Riley but a few degrees sillier. idk its hard to fully describe myself well at this point bc again we are still figuring a lot of shit out. but im a cat. meow.
- Theta (he/it). just a completely fuckin new guy, Theta is our resident big scary dog/wolf boy. he has so much tboy swag. acts serious but ultimately is a bit of a softie.
- Mips (they/she) (mips wrote the original "ah fuck btw we split" part of this post). silly little bunny thang. so silly. just here to have fun. all the hello kitty autism went to her.
these four have all properly fronted, as of right now the first three (Riley, Theta, & me) are all kinda the Main folks, we're all around a pretty equal amount of time, probably gonna be running most stuff. this COULD change as more of us become active but i kinda doubt itll change much?? Mips fronts a bit less than the rest of us, mainly bc we are the three most capable.
now there's three that we've idenitifed but havent properly fronted yet (one did front briefly by accident but we learned Nothing):
- Neven. neven is some sort of goth bitch. thats generally all we know.
- Marlow. marlow is some sort of high femme bitch. that's generally all we know.
- Halcyon/Hal (fronted once briefly). we know absolutely fucking nothing about Hal.
there's most likely at least one more that we havent really "found" yet. maybe more than that even. but this is what we've learned so far.
as of right now we are also not sure if we are like.... wholly seperate or if we're sorta facets that make up "Phi" or something. Idk. still figuring it all out.
now. i know some people may not be so open about such a thing on the internet, on a public internet profile. its something that some may consider extremely personal or private information. and you may criticize us for being so open if you'd like, but we dont really Give A Fuck. most of the people who follow us are our friends. (honestly we might even prune our followers to be Just our friends at some point. not sure yet.). and we would like our friends to know whats going on. we want our friends to know who we are. i think i speak for all of us when i say we do not want to pretend not to be plural or pretend to be someone we are not. we dont want to use a fake name or pronouns that arent actually Ours because of "privacy" or "simplicity" or something. this is who we are. we want to be ourselves.
if anyone has any questions about us or plurality in general we are more than happy to answer. just DM us. we know this may be difficult and confusing for everyone to adjust to, both ourselves and our friends. but its something that Needs to be adjusted to. if you cant handle that then we can simply Not Be Friends.
that is all. thank you.
- Sunny
aw fuck. aw shit. our fuckin about pinned is now just Fucked. honestly idk how to even entirely approach our online presence now.
so if you didnt know (how could you not know) Phi has been part of a plural system of three for a good few years now. a couple days ago, "Phi" split. so theres a whole bunch fuckin more of us now and we're probably gonna be sharing our online presence now.
(sidenote: how can you have Seven fucking names and think "This is normal, I am a singular person. I am in a system with others but I am a single alter who just has seven names" YOU FUCKING BUFFOOOON.)
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gb-patch · 4 years ago
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Ask Answers: May 15th Part 1
It’s been longer than usual since our last answer session, so I’m answering a ton of questions today! It’s so big I split it into two parts. Thank you for the patience on getting a response to these.
Thanks for reaching out to us with your questions and kind words ^^!
Sorry if this has been asked before or isn't something you can say but is there anyway for Cove to confess in step 4? I wanted him to confess in step 3 and followed all the steps to make him do it but ended up texting my family instead of Cove at the end.
Yeah, Cove can confess in Step 4!
Hello! I heard that Cove is on the spectrum, albeit undiagnosed. As someone who is ND, this makes me UNBELIEVABLY happy. I literally was brought to tears! Thank you for that!
Out of curiosity, will Cove be diagnosed in Step 4? I have a strong feeling y’all won’t make it a HUGE deal/make it out to be negative, so I’m not worried about that whatsoever! I’m just curious just he’ll off handedly mention it? Or will it just not be touched upon at all (which is ok!)?
Either way is ok, I’m just curious!
I’m happy it made you happy! Admittedly, Cove simply being someone with autism that grew up not being diagnosed was something I included for myself. I didn’t really think anyone would notice or ask about it, aha. But players did start to have questions about his traits, so I started to talk about it outside of the game. It’s great to see it get such a positive response and now I do feel like having it be a non-topic may have been the wrong choice and bringing it up would’ve been good in terms of having positive representation for that. I don’t know if I’ll find a way to mention it in Step 4 now, with how far along the game is, but I am at least thinking about it when originally it wasn’t something I really even considered.
Hey!  Just wanted to say thank you for Our Life.  It's been a bright spot and a needed escape in what's otherwise been a crummy year.  I know you just did a Q&A post but I figured I'd ask anyway.  Was just curious about Step 4.  Will it be similar to the other Steps in that it consists of several different moments or will it just be one long sequence?
Step 4 is shorter than the prior Steps because it’s just an epilogue rather than a full arc of a story. It’ll consist of scenes that all happen in a set row one after the other. There won’t be a collection of Moments to choose from. But it’ll still be very sweet and fun.
¡hola!, you see, first I want to say that I love Our Life! (°◡°♡) and I have 2 important questions, would Cove cry watching titanic? and what is the saddest part according to him? (sorry for my english) 
Titanic would make him cry. He’d probably think the parts showing people who aren’t able to make it to the life boats/are choosing to stay and go down with the ship were the saddest.
Hello, I wanted to ask how much you earn with creating games? Like is it possible to make a living? Thank you >< <3 
How much I earn varies a lot month to month based on Steam sales, Patreon backers, and how many projects are in full production at the time. It’s also hard to say how much I make historically, since that also changes dramatically year by year. But I do earn enough to work on these games full time! I really appreciate all the support that allows me to do that.
Hey!! I was wondering for the 18+ Our Life moment, will there be an emphasis on safety/comfort for all involved? I feel like there  would be just going off of what the rest of the game is like, but I wanted to ask 
Yes! Cove is a nervous boy himself and also super cautious about doing anything the MC doesn’t like, so clear consent from both is absolutely needed for anything to happen. It’s a conversational sexy times Moment with stops/starts so the two can talk about how they’re feeling, rather than a heat of the moment just going for it kind of thing.
Hey!! I was wondering how long the wedding dlc would be? Will it be broken up into moments, or just one big event? 
It’s one long series of scenes all in a row rather than a collection of Moments to pick from. It’s the shortest and the least expensive of all the DLCs. It’s not super crucial to get and those who aren’t into big weddings can totally skip it without worry.
HELLO AMAZING DEVS 👋 i am hopelessly in love with the worst guy ever (jeremy king) and because of this i have a really stupid question: does he really hate people who are nice to him? TvT he’s too cute to be mean to istg it’s a miracle JB held the urge to be consistently nice to him bc just look at his FACE he is so cute! thank you for jeremy’s route it’s so lovely (and awful bc he’s scum 11/10) it gave me so much laughs LMAO i hope you guys have a good day!! 
Haha, thank you. He doesn’t hate them but he’s certainly not pleased with them. Jeremy is either uncomfortable with or annoyed by people being sweet on him, depending on how they approach it. He’s far more comfortable with jerkiness. It lets him relax and he can be himself without it being a problem, since he’s also a jerk. He feels a level of guilt being such a little punk to kind people, not enough to be a better person but still.
Has Cove dated or been interested in someone other than MC? 
Nope! He stays single over the course of the game if he’s not with the MC.
Is Step 4 more mature? Or it's gonna be set in similar atmosphere as Step 3? 
Step 4 is a similar atmosphere as Step 3. Though, it’s actually kind of less mature-topic heavy than Step 3 since it’s just a ‘hey, let’s check in on the gang to see what they’re up to’ style epilogue rather than a story arc with serious issues.
will there be new music for now and forever?? or will the old our life music be reused? 
It’s gonna be a brand new soundtrack. We’ll be opening up a job position for that soon.
Hi, is it okay if we use the assets in Our Life (like the sprites) for fanworks or fan content content, like edits? 
Sure! Just as long as you don’t use the assets made by those artists to make money.
Quick clarification on Step 3 choices: I hope I didn't come off rude (because I LOVE the game, really!!), I was just curious because the intro threw me off at times. For example, you could choose how you felt about Elizabeth in Step 2 (Dinner), but during the Step 3 intro, it says that you got closer to Liz and I didn't get a choice in it. 
For the example, it can’t be helped that you’re closer to Liz in Step 3 than you were in Step 2 because she’s inherently closer to the MC regardless of whether you liked her or not in Step 2. Her feelings are out of your control and the game isn’t so dramatic that you can push her affection away and not let her bond with you, haha. But ‘being closer’ can still be relative. For some people maybe that means you’re best buds now and for others it might just mean you’re not fighting all the time any more. If there’s other parts you want to mention, feel free to let us know.
Did the illustrator for Our Life change? 
We have many OL artists! The main artists who set the game’s style haven’t changed, but there’s multiple other artists who help finish assets.
So Miranda's type is confident and outgoing, huh? So...does that mean Terri's her type?? 👀 
Haha, sorry for the late reply on this. As you might’ve seen in our post yesterday- yeah that is her type.
Hey! First, I just want to say I've really enjoyed how detailed OL got with gender identity and sexuality and how respectful the topics were handled! It's been so wonderful to play since the experiences could be close to my own (I'd be lying if I said I didn't tear up at parts). Second, I was wondering, would future games explore the topic of polyamory? I'd love to see more visual novels allow room for that and I saw you've explored the topic before.
Keep up the amazing work! ♡
Thank you! We do want to include polyamory in at least some of our future projects. Floret Bond, which might be what you’re referring to when mentioning how we’ve explored the topic before, is on hold unfortunately. So right now I’m not sure when something might release or what will be the first game of ours to come out with poly relationships (we might do something else before FB is done). We’ll have see how things ends up coming together.
Hey um. I feel like im not allowed to ask this on the private discord cuz people will yell at me but why is there so much focus on OL2 and not finishing OL1 stuff? I like the new people but i kind of want to finish cove's story and get derek and baxter stuff first. didn't people pay for it? 
I’m sorry, I don’t understand entirely what’s making that situation a concern. There’s a channel in the discord for critique where no one is allowed to comment back. People can voice things they’re worried about without any way for others to push back on it. And the two teams working on the OL games are different. We try to post pretty often about how we’re hiring brand new people to start on Our Life: Now & Forever. The OL1 team is all still working on OL1 like normal. There’s only more updates on the Patreon for OL2 because the expansions to the first game are mostly script-based at this point while OL2 is just starting to get all its art, which means there’s a lot more to show off as previews.
Also, there was a Kickstarter for the first Our Life, if that’s what you mean by people paying for it. But one of the stretch goals was to start Our Life 2 early, before fully completing Our Life 1, so that the new game could be out sooner. It wouldn’t make sense to stop doing OL2 work because that would be going against what backers were promised. Maybe you didn’t get the full story before and hopefully this clears it up!
Hello! I know it's up to every player but.. What is your recommendation for playing order? Did you ever had any timeline  events planned? 
I didn’t make the events with a planned timeline. The events got made simply as I had ideas for them and then I just kind of organized them from left to right on the screen in an order to space out more dramatic ones between more lighthearted ones. Any order the player wants to go with is totally valid!
Hi! It's Step 4 a paid dlc or update? And how long it's planned to be? Ps. Love the game! 
The Step 4 epilogue is free! The Cove Wedding DLC does cost money, though. Those are planned to be shorter than the usual Steps/DLCs.
Will we have options for what sort of job the MC might have by the time step 4 takes place? 
Yeah, you can. It’s not super exact or detailed, but there are options about it.
Is there a pandemic in Our Life world, or is it just in a better timeline with no pestilence? 
Our Life is pandemic-free! That didn’t exist when we began working on the project and it’s not something we’d like to feature in this story now that it has unfortunately come along, aha.
Hi, you said that you can play tic-tac-toe or hangman with Cove in Boating if you're sick/scared but I keep getting tic-tac-toe. Am I doing something wrong?
After being sick/scared you have to continue to be upset/unwell. If you calm down and decide to just chill you’ll end up playing tic-tac-toe.
Hi, GB Patch! Since Lee was initially commissioned to only appear in two Steps does this mean she won't appear in the Wedding DLC? I really like her character so it'll be a little weird to not have our cousin at our wedding, aha.
She is gonna be in Step 4/the wedding DLC after all! We’re still working with her creator to make sure it fits with what they wanted.
Is Sunset Bird based on a real place? Asking for a friend, not trying to move there or anything. 👀
It’s based on small beach towns in So-Cal, but not one specific town you could go see in real life, I’m afraid. It’d be nice if it was real, though.
—– —– —– —–
We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog
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t0shii · 4 years ago
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hq boys when you're feeling anxious or stressed
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suna rintaro, hinata shoyo, oikawa toru x gn!r
!warnings! mentions of anxiety, reader comparing themselves to others, mentions of food & hunger, driving. this is like all fluff no angst rlly tbh.
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SUNA RINTARO.
he could tell something was up but conviced himself he shouldnt pry as he had already asked you twice if you were feeling alright, to which you reasurred him with a "yep" both times, it was suspicious but he thought maybe you just wanted to be left alone. meanwhile you weren't sure why you lied him, you obviously were not doing okay at the moment. currently he was driving you home and your anxiety was going absolutely crazy from the amount of school work that was piling up on you, it's unfair you thought to yourself, looking out the window. not only were you stressed from work but trying to keep up with your friend was hard, to say the least. they were phenomenal students, straight As in their transcript and though your grades were just fine, you couldn't help but feel inferior and insecure. it's unfair how effortlessly smart they are and how i'll never be able to catch up.... oh boy if your thoughts weren't running wild before they definitely were now, you hadn't even realized your boyfriend pulling into your driveway until he slightly tapped your shoulder. "are you sure you're alright? i don't wanna pressure you ofcourse but, you know you can tell me anything right?" ... and there were the water works! the little string holding you together had snapped just like that. you sat there in the passengers seat sobbing into your hands and suna rintaro hadn't a clue what to do in the moment.
"give me just a sec" you heard him mumble but not before he gave you a kiss as light as a feather on the top of your head. somehow you didn't notice him exit the car and rush to your side until he opened your door and hugged you so tight you honestly couldn't breathe. after a few seconds your boyfriend let go of the embrace which, to his dismay, only made you cry even harder. now, he knew he was known for being quite... stoic but he was definitely panicking on the inside and it was really difficult to remain calm on the outside. your boyfriend carefully reached over you to unbuckle the seatbelt that you had yet to unclasp. "lets go inside baby." his voice was so gentle it would've taken you by surprise had you not still been crying. you nodded in response and he helped you carefully out of the car, holding your hand all the way to the door, "d'ya have your key?" you nodded trying your best to unlock the door, after a few struggled and shakey attempts you finally had your door unlocked but not without rins help because he couldn't bare to watch you struggle any longer.
stepping inside rin helped you take your shoes off, removing his own after, "bedroom?" having calmed down a little you whispered "yes," with a small nod. he nodded with you in response and took you to your bedroom. after helping you change into comfy clothes he helped you into bed, crawling in right behind you. your back was snug against his chest and he held you super tightly, it was silent for a few minutes until finally he spoke up, "please tell me how i can help" you could feel your lip quiver. "well... you don't have to say anything right now, you know i can wait. i'll even leave if you want, i just wanted you to know that you can tell me whenever you're ready and that i'll listen." neither of you were sure when you'd be ready to admit what had gotten you so upset but you felt comfortable knowing suna rintaro would be there whenever you were ready, whether it be minutes from now or even months.
HINATA SHOYO.
your silence on the walk home was starting to concern him.. maybe im just talking too much... he thought, "hey... im sorry if im talking your ear off.. how was your day angel?" to say he was disappointed with your response would be an understatement. not thar you HAD to talk but usually you were talkative with him and the worry in his tummy was only growing more. a simple, "oh.. my day was alright sho," simply woundn't cut it! "hey, are you feeling okay?" it was silent for a few seconds before you answered a mumbled "i think so, are you feeling alright, sho?" he simply nodded with a "mhm" and you told him to continue on with his story from earlier.
he complied but only to fill the silence. hinata decided to trust you when you said you were okay because you know your own feelings and he knows for a fact he's made it clear before that you could and should let him know if something was bothering you. though you enjoyed listening to hinata's stories you only found yourself getting lost in your own mind whilst he rambled on.you could tell he was suspicious of your behavior but was grateful he had left his curiosity behind because you were sure you would snap if he had asked you if you were okay again, you really didn't want to cry in front of him. truth is, your thoughts were running wild, stressing over the smallest things; assignments due at the end of the week, what you were gonna get your boyfriend for your anniversary, how you were gonna make time for your friends surprise birthday party and helping sho with his studied all the while trying to take care of your own self and keep your own grades afloat. "y/n..? we're at your house.. are you sure your alright? you look a little pale, are you ill?" crap! how had you not noticed you were approaching your own driveway you wanted to slap yourself for being so clueless. you couldn't help but feel horrible for not listening to your boyfriends story also.
"yes sho i'm fine really, i just didn't have time to eat lunch today but i have food inside so don't worry m'may?" he looked at you suspiciously and you knew he was onto you, "y'know y/n, i'm not gonna force you to tell me what's going on but just know i'll always be here for you, okay?" he gave you a small smile before engulfing you into a tight hug, it honestly melted your heart. surprisingly, you didn't start crying on the spot. "y'know, i wanted to trust you when you said you were okay but now i'm not so sure if you were telling the truth," he mumbled into your shoulder. you sighed, giving up the facade. "sho.... i just don't know what to do honestly, i have alot on my plate right now and i'm really stressed with all the responsibilities ive piled onto myself," you admitted. he nodded lifting his head from your shoulder, giving you the brightest smile, "well, i can always help out! i might not be the mooost helpful person ever but i'll try my best, and if anything i'm good moral support!" you giggled at that but suddenly you felt your lip quiver from the sudden guilt you feeling, "i'm sorry for lying to you sho-", "hey! its alright! you dont need to apologize. especially dont need you crying on me now!" he smiled cupping your face in his hands, wiping away a few stray tears of whom managed to escape.
OIKAWA TORU.
you smile back at him and thought of how silly it was that you tried keeping your feelings a secret from your boyfriend of two years, hinata shoyo, feeling glad that you confided in him. he knew you were upset as soon as he saw you that very morning, he could read you like and open book and you knew that fact very well. still though, you tried your best to hide yourself from him, though it was hard considering you sitting right next to him in the passenger seat of his car. finally after a whole day of being worried sick, he was tired of leaving things left unsaid "babyyyy," he sang for you from the kitchen, "please come here a sec!" he yelled for you louder. soon you came trudging down the hallway, blanket wrapped around your body, he couldn't help but smile at how adorable his s/o looked.
"c'mere quickly," he said will a grin, opening his arms for a hug, which you gladly accept, wrapping your arms around his waist tightly. "now, i know you know that i know that you're not feeling well, so please tell me what's got my angel so upset?" he said softly rubbing his hand lightly over your back, his voice a little muffled from his cheek being squished against the top of your head. you let out a breath you hadn't even realized you were holding, "'m sorry tooru, i don't know what's wrong with me today.... just not feeling well." you felt him nod against your head in response, "well good thing your amazing boyfriend is here to make you feel all better huh?" you let a out small giggle at that. "you know you can tell me when you're feeling down right? you shouldn't keep things bottled up inside", "i know tooru... im sorry, i just dont really know wbat i'm feeling so down about though," you admitted shyly. "hey that's okay! there absolutely no need to apologize for that, here, look at me, angel," he tilts your face so you're looking up at him, his big soft hands holding your face, thumbs stroking your cheeks lightly, "i'm here whenever you figure it out, hell, even if you dont figure it out or there just isn't any reason at all. you know i'm always, always, always here. i promise you that, m'kay?" he finishes his little speech with a smile, smothering your face in kisses. you could only feel relieved, thankful and loved. because you knew that you would always have your soulmate, oikawa toru by your side.
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( a/n ; ahh so im sorry if this has any spelling or grammatical errors it's sort of late as i'm writing this! and im too lazy to proof read.... also it might just all be word vomit and if it is im so sorry 😩 ++ i'm positive ive kept the reader gn throughout the whole thing but if there are slip-ups i promise i'll do better next time! i rlly wanted to write some hq boys when ur feeling anxious and beyond stressed because i have been MEGA struggling with my own anxiety lately, especially bc of school so i just needed to let my feelings go! anywhooo i hope everyone who reads this has an amazing day or night! ) p.s. im new to writing so be nice 2 me or whatever 😩🙄😌👍🏻
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twopoppies · 3 years ago
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Firstly No pressure to read any of the below it’s just a lil rant after I ended up on the wrong side of tumblr!! ( + I have ADHD and i forgot my meds lol so its a bit disoriented and all over the place) and no response necessary unless you want to!
Oh god I accidentally ended up on the wrong side of tumblr....never ever ever ever again, I went back so fastttt lol im laughing at myself rn for how quickly i clicked away from disgust
i ended up on a blog that stalks u and some other larries and says absolutely atrocious things abt louis (I can send u their @ if u'd like so u can block them) and fully bought the stunt bs happening rn and it was horrible obvs but like i just do not understand like it was so creepy gina and im just so disgusted bc why? yk?
like u were not joking abt anti's actually being obsessed with larries - like half this person's blog was talking abt you and amy and i was just so shocked cause why??? like mate come on what the actual f? get a life please?? (im quite new so im like just now realising how insanely weird and obsessed these anti's are)
Also it was just an overall eye opener for multiple things:
Starting with that 1. the way 1DHQ and 1D Management managed to alienate larries actually worked and i like knew but truly doing a proper deep dive and seeing multiple blogs hate on larries and like obsessively stalk us was insane?? Like they truly believe everything they’re being fed???
Side Note: Lowkey feeling very lucky to have had the education i have because even before i even joined this fandom i believed partially none of the relationships in the news bc like i knew abt this industry and how it worked yk? i mean its logic? i have so many mates that arent even in the fandom that know i am in the fandom and texted me when the articles started rolling out calling it out for what it was: A PR stunt
Hell someone i know whom i had never even talked abt fandom stuff/stunt stuff fully texted me making a joke out of it!!! like people who aren’t even in our fandom can see it and its just insanely surprising that if they can why cant the antis?? im just a bit shocked rn
both from 1. finding someone who actually believes in this stunt and 2. multiple blogs that fully commit their time to stalking u and other larries and once again i knew but fully seeing it
YK AT FIRST I WAS LIKE IS THIS A JOKE I DIDNT BELIEVE IT GINA I THOUGHT SOMEONE WAS PULLING MY LEG OR THIS PERSON WAS IDK BEING SARCASTIC AND HAD A MESSED UP SENSE OF HUMOUR but ye anyway
It made me realise that 1DHQ knew what the fuck they were doing when they were trying to alienate larries from the rest of the fandom, once again i am feeling extraordinarily grateful to have grown up with an education where i was literally taught to never trust anything and to always think things thru using logic - “does it makes sense to you? if not find out why, there usually a reason behind everything” my yr 9 english teacher used to say smth like that all the time and it just never left me bc she was always teaching us to judge everything and to take every piece of news we read entertainment or otherwise with a grain of salt and to always if we’re gonna give someone else our opinion or spread this information do our research (its what i am when i say i feel lucky to have had the education i have had)
Eye Opener 2: Anti’s are fully standing y’all u were 100% correct this is some next level stan behaviour if i’ve ever seen some, you’re famous gina!!
It is while surprisingly to realise that anti’s fully believe these things, more surprising to see how they treat larries bc why on earth would u treat any other human being this way??? like dont get me wrong they’re horrible ppl and i fully felt like sending them a message telling them exactly that but i would never bc i just dont want to make another person feel bad abt themselves even if they are that shitty of a person and it was very tempting
I just would like to understand why they feel the need to do this? like why hate on a whole other person? for what believing smth diff to u? having a difference of opinion? how tf are they gonna make it when they get a job??? like??? do u know how often i run into a person with a different opinion then me? it shouldn’t be that big of a deal! we should still be able to be friends with antis! but we’re not - not for lack of trying btw!! they’re just so mean and rude??? when i was in other fandoms when someone believed different things there was never this much hatred at someone for it!! hell there was barely any bc it was understood that it was normal to have diff opinions abt things and i just am truly fascinated by these ppl i swear they remind how stupid the human race can sometimes be not for what they believe (altho ngl a lil of that too) but for how they treat other ACTUAL human beings with different opinions to them
Eye Opener 2.5: Some people need lives, man like they proper do need lives and something to do maybe a hobby or smth? just like a life they need to get one of those and actual live it
and Eye Opener 3: I already felt this way but like even god damn stronger now you deserve a formal apology from both 1DHQ and the universe
and until we get that u deserve amazing things coming from the boys on your bdays to make up for it
Lastly Gina I hope you didn't read thru all that bc I couldn’t even read it over and thus sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes and I would also like to say that I love your blog and everything about you! you’re an absolute angel and one of the kindest ppl I have ever had the pleasure of well not meeting but stumbling across, you truly make this fandom a much much much better place with your presence (I shudder to think of it without u) that said if you ever need to take breaks or leave Im sure you already know but you should 100%
You first!!! Always! :)
Have a good day Gina, I hope its an absolutely amazing one!
Hi darling. LOL! Reading this was like talking with my kids when they don't take their ADHD meds. Lots of excited thoughts!! I loved it.
And yeah, that blog and their 4 followers are really... not well. But you're very right. 1DHQ made this fandom a breeding ground for people to hate larries and to think it's something Harry and Louis would both approve of. It's gross.
The gaslighting here is powerful, so thank goodness for fans like you who know to question what they're told and to look at things with logic and to do their best to see through their own biases.
Thank you for all the sweet words and your offer to kick butt (in your other message). I really appreciate it!
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keylimeimagines · 3 years ago
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Hii! If your matchups are open could I please request one with a character from genshin impact? <3
I’m Italian, my pronouns are she/her and I’m bisexual so any gender is fine. I’m an esfj/enfj (I never understood) and a Gemini.
Appearance:  I’m 5’6, I have green eyes and dyed cherry red hair. I dress with black clothes and I wear black eyeshadow or eyeliner. I wear LOTS of rings and I love to exchange them with others <33.
Personality: I’m the sweet mom friend of the group, always there for everyone and my friends say that I’m really good at comforting people. I’m also calm and responsible, I usually am the one that takes care of other people. I’m very optimistic, I always try to see the good in everything and I often put other’s needs before my own, I would do everything for the people I care about and sometimes I’ve been told that I’m too kind for my own good. I have a sarcastic humor and I love making others laugh, people say that I should be more serious and that I shouldn’t joke around so much. I don’t like when people tell me what to do and I’m not afraid to stand up for myself or for someone else. All my friends tell me I’m very smart, I get very good grades and I do well in school. I also try to help my friends with study and school as much as possible. I’m also very ambitious, I always try to achieve my goals. My love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation.
Hobbies:  I absolutely love listening to music, it helps me relax and I really like reading. Especially when I go reading in the woods or the nature. Also I love philosophy. I also love watching horror movies even though it’s impossible to scare me.
I really hope I did this right, have a great day!
CELESTIA HAS SPOKEN, AND THE ONE CHOSEN FOR YOU IS...
SUCROSE [INTP]!
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SUCROSE MY WIFE MY QUEEN MY LIVE LAUGH LOVE UGH YOU'RE SO LUCKY /lh
She'd love to wear one of your many rings! It reminds her of how lucky she is to have you when busy with work <33
Her heart melts at your sweetness, and she goes to you when she needs to get something off her chest (but she fears that she's dumping too much onto you)
I'd say that she has a habit of not taking care of herself (like Albedo), so she appreciates you around to remind her to drink some water or to get some rest.
HOWEVER, she does recognize that putting others before has its cons, so she reminds you to take some time for yourself (hypocrite (affectionate))
She's practically all work no play, but she really like having you around when she's working since your sarcastic humor and jokes can help lighten the stress <33
you two are a bunch of smarties <33
she's very shy with physical affection, but she's very confident in complementing you and praising you for things you do! that doesn't mean she isn't gonna have a red face while giving affection bc this is sucrose we're talking about
she loves reading as well! although by reading, i mean that she likes rereading her alchemy notes to anybody who might wanna listen.
sucrose is so pretty im suing mihoyo/hoyoverse for making her so pretty 😡💞/j
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storiesungaa · 4 years ago
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mobile rules & information
Since people don’t read rules all the way through i would like to preface this by saying: TRIGGERING MATERIAL WILL BE WRITTEN HERE. THIS INCLUDES BUT IS NOT LIMITED TO: INCEST, DUBCON, SUICIDAL IDEALATIONS, CHEATING, AND ANYTHING ELSE I WANT TO WRITE. BY CLICKING FOLLOW, YOU AGREE TO BLACKLIST THE TAGS PROVIDED IN THE FORM OF (trigger here) tw. DO NOT FOLLOW ME IF YOU THINK FICTION EQUALS REALITY OR IN ANYWAY HAS ANY REFLECTION ON A MUN’S MORAL STANDING. 
HATE WILL NOT BE TOLERATED AND ANY ANON’S I GET ABOUT THIS THAT IS HATE WILL BE BLOCKED/NOT AT ALL ACKNOWLEDGED.
THANK YOU.
about: this is an indie mutuals only rp blog for a multimuse with various fandoms from tv shows, movies, anime, and video games. mun is 25+, genderfluid lesbian, goes by he/him pronouns (but i am genderfluid so i don’t mind she/her pronouns, most just call me he/him) online and name Jay. Previously known as Ares and Snow.
Callout culture: Do not involve me in this. Period. I want no part of it and will block as soon as I see it, tagged or not. I believe it does more harm than good and something like tha is extremely harmful..
content: there will be some pretty heavy material featured here. such as suicidal thoughts, mentions of rape, incest, and anything else I want to write. I will not tolerate hate being sent to me about this and I will block anyone who tries to police me. The only hard limit i have and absolutely refuse to write is pedophilia.
Don’t ever be afraid to ask me to tag something!
side note: if you believe fiction equals reality, please don’t follow me.
discord: is open to those who follow me. simply ask for it. i do not write on discord though. ooc contact is highly encouraged!
disclaimer: i'm in no way affiliated with any of the actors, fandoms, or characters on this blog.  Banners, promos, and icons belong to me. Theme was made by inkfated.  all screencaps used to turn into icons on this blog are not mine and belong to their rightful owners. Lara Croft screencaps come from soulcluster. tsunade icons belong to hellspath. rectangle tsunade icons belong to me. Some psds are not mine. Credit to iconholic for Red Velvet psd. Credit to plutocommissions for psd 183 - wild. some psds used are made by rivercraze
Drama: There won’t be any. I’m too old for tumblr’s drama, if you try to start something, make me choose, or drag me into drama - you will be blocked.
DNI’s will get you blocked. I don’t agree with making people choose between people when there are things like blacklist and tumblr’s own filtering system to help you avoid a person
Hate: Character hate, show hate, etc will get you unfollowed. I don’t have time for that negativity, pls tag it so I can filter it out, thank you.
IMs: pls refrain from sending me multiple messages all at once as I’m autistic and it sends me into sensory overloads!!
follow/unfollowing: i usually follow back pretty quick. if i don't follow within a week, i'm probably not going to follow back. 9/10 i do follow back. i will not follow if i see vaguing, callouts, or any sort of drama on blogs. i also will not follow any under the age of 18.
if i’ve been following you for a month and you don’t interact with me within that time limit, I’m unfollowing. I won’t soft block because I’m totally okay with people still following me but I don’t see the point in following if we’re not gonna write.
If I do not follow you back, do not message me asking to write or become mutuals - you will be blocked.
If I block you, do not come to me asking why. It will only get you blocked all over again. Do not ask why i’ve unfollowed you, either.
DO NOT FOLLOW ME IF YOU’RE A MINOR.
side note: if you’re the type to blindly believe a callout because that’s what everyone else is doing  save yourself the trouble and don’t follow me.
Memes: Send as many as you want for as many muses as you want just be sure to specify muse or they’ll get deleted! Always feel free to turn meme answers into threads, too.
Do not use me as a meme resource. Send something in or reblog from the source, please.
note:  if you send memes multiple times and there’s clearly a way to continue them, ESPECIALLY if we’ve never interacted before, and you keep sending memes but have NO INTENTIONS on replying to them, I will be less likely to respond to them. memes, in my eyes, are used as alternatives to starters. if you don’t respond to them after i’ve responded to quite a few, that’s me putting work into it for no reason really, so yeah.
My triggers: Sharks. That’s it. Just tag pictures of sharks for me please
nsfw: smut will be present here. i can not play the dominant party in smut, please don't ask me too. if you don't feel comfortable with it, we can fade to black, easy peasy. i won't make myself uncomfortable for some smut. All muses involved in smut or ships are 18+. If you think that aging them up is pedophila, do me a favor and get off my blog. Smut may happen with aged up characters but that does not mean it was done specifically for smut. Do not assume.
OCS: I love them. Send them my way, please!
OOC:  I post ooc, sometimes quite a bit, sometimes rarely. I am human and I will act as such. I will not tag ooc posts mostly bc i’ll forget. Sorry if that bugs people but like i said, I’m human and I like to write things down and share things with the dash.
OOC note: please do not flirt with me or ask me to date you, thank you!
Shipping: all muses are LGBT+ in some shape or form so if you want to ship, just let me know. They’re pretty open to anyone, though gay and lesbian muses will stay gay and lesbian. I ship toxic pairings and incest so if that’s your cup of tea, just lemme know, and we can work something out if not? That’s alright too!!
As previously stated, all ships and smut scenes are involved with characters 18+. I will never under any circumstance write something with underage characters. Characters, however, can be aged up but are never simply just for the sake of smut. Smut may happen with aged up characters but that does not mean it was done specifically for smut. Do not assume.
wait time: sometimes i can take months, sometimes seconds, sometimes days. I’m not a fast rper, please respect this.
writing: i generally prefer writing multi-para or novella. one-liners or one-paragraphs usually end up getting dropped or made into much longer threads as i have absolutely no chill. 
edit: from now on any drafts that are below three paras will be deleted, i don’t have muse for short things.
End note: Do me a favor and like this post if you’ve read my rules. Not needed but deeply appreciated. Also below you’ll find important links:
MUSES & NAVIGATION & MUSE INTEREST CHECKER & SHIP INTEREST CHECKER & COMMISSIONS INFORMATION & MOBILE MUSE LIST & THREAD TRACKER
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bluebuckstallion · 3 years ago
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the sun will rise again - mlp fic p2
part one contents: aj and big mac are like. 13 and 15. big mac realizes she is a trans woman, and is guided by applejack, but there is much more to it than just that lol. its also a little hard for her. sappy, feel-good, tough internal conflict but overall happy fic. paragraph one is previewed here, the rest is below the cut! disclaimer: there is no transphobia in this fic lmao im not gonna write abt horse transphobia. this is a feel good. but cw for fear of outing (note: i am aware my blog makes posts a little hard to read bc of a glitch, i am trying to fix it at the moment, i apologize D: i rec reading it on tumblr mobile or highlighting the words as you read, im sorry!) paragraph one: The wind whispered lovingly, cooling little Big Mac and Applejack's drowsy heads. A time like this in a young pony's life can be very confusing, something the two of them had grown to be very familiar with. Applejack rested his backside against the trunk of one of his family's old apple trees, if they had no where else to take solace, at least they had the orchard and each other's company, he thought. It felt nice, having this little secret kept safe by somepony you knew would protect it, and who still cared about you just the same. "If nopony accepts us, at least we have each other. I don't care if it's just you and me, Big Mac, we'll be jus' fine." Applejack stated in a soft voice, breaking the silence. He was accepting of his circumstances, no matter how they turned out. As long as him and his sister ended up okay. And again, he was sure they would. Big Mac smiled and folded her hooves neatly, "Eeyup."
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Applejack worked his fluffy hooves through Big Mac's mane, doing his absolute best to make the fine ginger hair into a braid. He wanted to do something nice for his sister, something to celebrate her bravery and courage in realizing - and telling - Applejack, and he wanted her to feel nice in her own body, even if she couldn't change much right now, or for a while. No matter how small the act, Big Mac was especially grateful. Nobody had ever treated her like this, on purpose at least, like she was a mare. And every chance Applejack could sieze he would do just that, remind her that was what, *who* she was. "So, Big Mac, what do you reckon I call you now?" With that her eyes widened, and her brows furrowed, it caught her off guard. "Like...my name? I didn't know I could change my name..." she let out, slightly confused, a tender hoof raising to her chin as she thought hard. "Yeah!" AJ beamed, not straying from his tedious work. Big Mac, still lying down, started shuffling her hooves again. "Well... I always thought if I were a girl my name would be something pretty, which I mean, I am a girl and all, but I don't feel very pretty ever," she admitted disheartened. "You're plenty pretty! You're an Apple! You wouldn't say Ma or Granny wasn't pretty, would you?" Applejack pointed out, gesturing absentmindedly in the air with his hooves, then promptly returning back to his work, being sure to keep a steady hoof. "Well... Nope." Big Mac blurted awkwardly, pursing her lips. "But-" she began. "No 'but's'!" Applejack interjected, "You're an Apple, and a dang pretty one!" Applejack closed his eyes and lifted his head proudly, putting his non-dominant hoof against his puffed chest, "Look at me, I'm an Apple and I'd say I'm awful handsome, just like Pa!" he said with an endearing foal-like passion and certainty. He chuckled, his cheeks growing slightly cherry as he let out a tiny chuckle, and got back to his work, about a quarter way down the locks. Big Mac grinned slightly, "I suppose," and tapped her hooves together shyly, playing with the grass falling between them. "You know, I always did think my mane was a little long for a stallion," she laughed playfully, diverting from the subject and trying to reassure herself. She went to touch her mane, and was swiftly batted away by Applejack's quick hoof, "Nuh-uh Big Mac, I'm workin' here. Don't go touchin' it now," he said sternly but still non-maliciously. He just wanted it to look perfect for his big sister, he wanted her to be proud, and feel as pretty as she could. Applejack wanted to know how it felt to look pretty, too, but in the way he'd always dreamed of. He wondered often if he'd ever get the blessing of such a wonderful feeling. "Applejack, do you ever wish you were born a colt?" Big mac asked genuinely, still a little unsure of what Applejack was feeling, but knowing there was solidarity in it somewhere, she just had to understand it a little more. "Well - not really," Applejack spat out, his eyes looking away from his busy hooves, and quickly darting back to them before he drifted off in fantasy. He thought about it for a second, and still felt strange. "I wasn't really born a filly or a colt... or anything, I think, I was just born me. And I wouldn't really have it any other way. Sure, I mean, maybe I'd like shorter hair or somethin', or a uh," he struggled to find the words in his young foal vocabulary, "maybe if my nose was a little more colt-ish I'd be happy. But I think I'm pretty happy with me now. I do hope when I'm older my voice is a little better, though. I can't really do much though," he sighed dismissively. He continued, "I don't ever really feel too bad about who I am... I think I just feel happy about who I am. When I see myself as not a colt and not a filly, just a foal, a pony, it makes me real happy-like. But, I don't get too sad unless people are real serious about calling me a filly. I do get sad sometimes though, when I look too much like a filly to other people..." As Applejack placed an orchard blossom in Big Mac's hair, tucked snug and safe behind her ear, a thought went through Big Mac's head. "Applejack!" she jumped up, the rush of movement startling him, who was so concentrated seconds prior. "Let's give you a haircut! It'll be like how you braided my hair for me, we can cut yours!" Applejack nervously rubbed his elbow, then raising his hoof lightly beneath his muzzle, and he began to sweat. "Well, I, what if Ma and Pa don't like it?" Big Mac thought hard as Applejack grimaced, "Well, we can hide it with one of Pa's hats, an' I'm sure they won't mind," she suggested happily. Applejack considered briefly, just for a moment, the downsides of it all. He then immediately turned them all away and smiled so hard his eyes shut, stomping his front hooves against the ground up and down, "Okay, let's do it Big Mac!" As they galloped back to the barn, Applejack had suddenly realized he was so surprised with how much Big Mac had been talking, she never seemed so excited to talk about anything, and he realized how much this all meant to her. It meant a lot to him, too. Especially that his sister was so supportive while still knowing so little, but in her defense, he didn't know much either. It was a very special feeling, he thought to himself, very pleased. They skidded to a halt clumsily as they reached the doors to the barn. Foal-ishly peeking through the front windows, they realized it was only Granny and baby Bloom home, their parents must be out. They looked at each other, grinning, and cantered to the back, sneaking inside through the back door. When they made it to the bathroom, Applejack noted Big Mac looked a little worn out, wearing a tired look on her face. She figured all this chattiness probably made her sister a little exhausted. He shot a reassuring patended Sibling glance at her telling her all she needed to know, not needing words. Big Mac let out a gentle smile. She helped her little brother reach the cabinet above the sink, reaching the scissors that were so high up it took them both working together to reach. Applejack had a slight doubt in his mind, his parents probably didn't want him touching the scissors by himself, did they? But he had his big sister with him, and it had to be done! Nopony else would, and only they understood. Applejack balanced shakily with two hooves on Big Mac's back, warily reaching one back hoof up onto the sink, as he balanced with his two front hooves against the edge of the cabinet. He grasped the scissors between his teeth, and brashly jumped down, just barely missing a potential accident, even though they both knew better than to jump around with scissors, they threw caution to the wind regardless. Applejack happily put his front hooves on the rim of the sink, tapping them and bopping his little head, he looked at his big sister, who began working at his hair. Big Mac chopped with a great lack of care, playfully snipping one strand then the next. Applejack beamed the whole time, simply happy to have it happen, plan or not. Big Mac frequently spun around him, balancing on three hooves and sometimes getting in so close that she held his face with one hoof, his hair with another, and cut with the scissors firm in her mouth. Applejack's body relaxed completely and was kicking and rearing with every cut, wiggling and happily holding his front hooves together and constantly swishing his head from side to side to check how it looked, one side fell to his muzzle, and the other to his chin. He smiled bigger than ever before. With the final snip, Big Mac dropped the scissors carelessly to the tile below. She gently grasped Applejack's chin and turned her sibling's head forward to face the mirror, and his mouth immediately fell agape, his jaw slack, and his eyes slowly widening with the purest joy there ever was. He cupped his hooves to his mouth, removing them, turning his head to the side, and then fixing himself and putting his hooves to his open mouth once again. He felt a soft tug in his throat and his chest, and he couldn't control the watering in his eyes, "Big Mac!!" his voice cracked. "Yes Applejack?" the filly said apprehensively, fearing that she had done something wrong. "Oh Big Mac, oh my gosh I love it so so much!!" He bucked and whinnied, spinning in circles, his once-flowing tail too short to trip over now, and the euphoria of it all was the most overwhelming emotion little Applejack had ever felt. The tugging became so immense he couldn't ignore it, and he acknowledged it by leaping onto Big Mac with a hearty hug, squeezing her tight as his little arms could, and he rubbed his muzzle into her neck. Big Mac politely pushed her hoof between her neck and AJ's hoof, making sure he didn't squeeze too tight, struggling slightly to breathe. This foal was definitely a strong one. "Thank you so much big sis!!! I feel so great!!" he neighed, stepping back, one hoof raised wiping his immense wave of tears. The feeling of euphoria shot through his body in a rush, showing itself in the form of a tiny but powerful hop, as he lifted his legs into the air and threw them around. Applejack rushed back to the mirror, urging Big Mac to come look as well, as she didn't quite see herself yet with her hair "done all proper-like." Big Mac's face became pale, as she felt the rush of a thousand different emotions. The paranoia became astounding again, what if she didn't like how she looked as a filly? What if she still didn't feel right? What if it wasn't - Her thoughts were abruptly cut short by Applejack tugging her over, knowing her sister just sometimes needed a push in the right direction. "Lookie Big Mac!!" he placed his arm cheerfully around her, wrapping it over her back. Big Mac's eyes were glued shut, and she only bashfully peeked one eye open because curiosity would've ate her alive otherwise, and deep down she knew she had to see herself eventually. She uncovered her hoof from her eye, and opened both of them slowly. Her mouth opened ever so slightly, and she wasn't even aware she had stopped breathing, her eyes fluttered up and down the braided locks, along with her heart, and her eyes landed on the blossom in her ear. She couldn't speak, her throat clogged up from such elation. She felt the choking once again, but it wasn't like before, this feeling was quite welcoming actually. It rushed from her throat up to her head, and took her breath away. The sobbing ebbed at her cheeks right away, and she turned to look at her brother. As they spoke with lack of words, they stared with inordinate graditude. As Big Mac smoothly turned back to the mirror, Applejack stomped all his hooves again, one after the other with no apparent order or care, shaking his head in a frenzy as his ears twitched and he smiled a mile wide. He finally felt *pretty.* Big Mac watched herself adoringly, for the first time ever, and felt this acceptance and understanding of herself coursing through her veins with a confidence she'd never had. She blushed, and her ears fell downward, a small smile creeping onto her face. "Applejack," she whispered softly, as if she were too worried the world would hear her secrets. Applejack peered closer with wide, curious eyes, "Yeah Big Mac?" he whispered back. "My name.." she mumbled. Applejack raised his eyebrows, captivated, as Big Mac slowly lifted her hoof to the blossom behind her ear. "Blossom?" Applejack stated inquisitively, before Big Mac could shake her head AJ corrected himself, "Orchard Blossom!" he exlaimed, leaning back and jumping in the air, "Oh big sis, that's so pretty!! I love it so much!!" Orchard Blossom nervously gestured for him to keep it down, as he was prone to being unaware of his volume control. Applejack embarassedly covered his mouth with a shy smile, "Oops, sorry big sis." he cleared his throat, "Orchard Blossom!!" he yell-whispered, the excitement shining through him, he stamped his tiny hooves and clapped them together in celebration. "That's so pretty, Orchard Blossom!" Applejack told her earnestly, loving the new name. "I don't think I want a new name, but I'm really happy ya found one you like!" "Orchard Blossom, Orchard Blossom, Orchard Blossom!" Applejack repeated, playfully prancing in circles, excited by the sight of his short tail, he spun even faster. "What's all that commotion in there? Applejack? Big Mac? Are ya in there?" they heard through the shut door, hoofsteps gradually approaching, painstakingly slow but steady. Both of them felt their hearts drop from their chest as they froze, unable to even fathom moving. How would they explain any of this? Applejack hurried to clean up desperately, brushing the hair together with his hooves, coldly sweating from his brow as he frantically hurried to remove any evidence. He stopped mid-sweep to quickly shove his father's hat on his head, which slumped immediately and blocked his vision. "Oh dangit Blossom, Pa's hat's too big! I can't see!!" Orchard Blossom was still unmoving, sheer panic stopping her very breaths. Applejack felt the tugging in his throat rise up again as he began whimpering.
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