#im not going to be responsible for what i do/say at a party of 30 people when i’d rather be working on the next chapter of symphony

[desceros]

i’m off. farewell friends. send me good thoughts so i dont kill someone in self defense when they ask me what i’ve been up to and i would be forced to answer ‘tmnt/reader cloaca smut’

[blackelysian]

Situationship.

Duke Dennis x Black! Fem! Reader as Makena

Word Count: 1,449

Warnings: 18+ smut, fluff, toxic relationship

Summary: Tired of this situationship between you and Duke you decide its just better to end things. Duke wants to make it right.

Makena POV

A sigh escaped my lips as I aimlessly scroll through my phone. It was now 3 am and Duke still wasn’t here yet. I sent a text to his phone for the one hundredth time.

                                                                       It's late, don't even worry about coming anymore… Sent.

No reply. Once again.

I watched his story and saw that he posted something 30 minutes ago. He was out with his friends at some party or function with some bitch grabbing his face. At that point I was fed up, annoyed and kinda hurt. I throw my phone to the side and sit up. He’s been blowing me off all night after he told me he was coming over so we could spend some time together. One stop and I'm on my way, I Love you”  was the last response I got from him. Tears streamed down my face. Not only was I mad at him I was mad at myself for even allowing my feelings to get wrapped up in whatever you wanna call this. Duke and I have been messing around for almost a year now but he never officially asked me to be his girlfriend. He helps me with my bills, buys me whatever I want, fucks me good, but there was no actual commitment. He uses the excuse of he doesn’t want to hurt me, but this hurts way worse. My thoughts were interrupted by my phone dinging, indicating I had just got a text. I hover my face over my phone revealing the message from him. 

Im outside

I layed back down on the bed ignoring his text. Next thing I know I hear my front door unlocking.

I groaned annoyingly. I need to get my key back from this nigga. I can hear his feet making their way to my bedroom before he slides my door open, stumbling in. He casually makes his way over to me leaning down to peck me on the lips but he was met with the palm of my hand.

“So you just goin walk in here late as a motherfucka and act like nothing's wrong??” She raised her voice at him.

“Come on boo don’t start that, i'm here now right? That's all that should matter'' He asks nonchalantly, going back in for another attempted kiss. I quickly jumped up and moved around him.

“You know, I don’t think I wanna do this anymore Duke..”I say looking away from him.

“Do what Makena?”

“THIS” I raise my voice again, pointing between the two of us. “This is getting old and I'm tired of sitting around waiting on you to see how good of a woman I am..tired of waiting on you to respect me! I’m done.” I snapped. 

“What do you mean you're done?”

“I'm done, We are done! And you need to give me back my key!” He chuckles at me.

“You trippin’ im not going any fucking where” He simply says, slideing his shoes off.

“Why don’t you just let me go Duke?” I questioned. “Why continue to string me along huh? You don’t want to be with me at this point so what's the point of keeping this going?”

“Makena,You know I love you. I just don't want to hurt you” He states, pulling me in front of him.

“You don’t think this hurts already?” I hold my hand up. “You know what, I just want you to go, i'll give you a minute to get whatever stuff you have here and leave my fuckin key” I turn my back to him not even giving him a chance to respond, heading for the bathroom to take a long, hot shower. I needed to clear my mind and hopefully by the time I got out that asshole would be gone for good.

Omniscient POV

After about 20 minutes, Duke enters the bathroom. He sees Makena’s naked silhouette through the foggy glass shower. He looks over to see her music softly playing from her bluetooth speaker. He quickly strips out of his clothes and slides in the steaming hot shower. The breeze runs a chill down Makena’s spine as he slides the door back closed. 

She quickly turns around. “I thought I told you to go?” She asks, rolling her eyes.

“We not done talking yet” He wraps his arms around her, bringing her body close to his.

“Duke, please don’t do this to me right now. Just let me go and leave” she says, trying to unwrap his arms from around her. He holds her tight.

“What do you want? Whatever you want I’ll give it to you. Just don’t leave me baby” 

“He can’t be serious..” She thought. But with the look on his face she knew this was far from a joke. But she couldn’t give in. What would he think of her if she just took him back so easily? Why now did he want to do the right thing? 

“It's a little too late fo-”

“Be my girlfriend?” He cuts her off, looking in her eyes with adoration.

“Wow really?” She asks sarcastically. “ Now you want to ask me? It's only because I'm telling you I'm done with you that you want to act right now” She says disgustingly, rolling my eyes and pushing him away from her. 

“Baby I'm serious!” He exclaims, grabbing her again. “I can’t lose you, whatever you want me to do I'll do it. I want to make it right, I have to make it right. Give me just one more chance and I promise we won’t have to have this conversation no more”

“I don’t know what to say Duke…” She says lowly, looking down and away from him. He drops to his knees in the oversized walk in shower, grabbing onto her waist. He places gentle kisses along her stomach trailing down to her womanhood. 

“Say yes” He says softly, placing a kiss right on top of her clit. Her breath hitches in her throat. 

“Say yes baby..” He throws her left leg over his shoulder and places a few more kisses on her wet center before completely devouring her. He made sure to take his time pleasing her. He wanted to show her that he meant what he said.

“Duke..no” She trails off, throwing her head back as he lapped her up like a thirsty dog. His thumb finds her clit drawing small circles on it. 

“Be my girlfriend baby” He says again, looking up to watch her love faces. She begins to feel her orgasm build in her stomach as she grinds down on his face. “Shit i'm almost there” She gasps. He stops immediately, getting up and turning off the shower before picking her up and walking her out the shower. 

“You don’t get to cum until you say yes.” He wraps a towel around her wet body, bending her over the sink, the two making eye contact in the mirror. She could see the lust and longing in his face. He rubs his member up and down her slick womanhood before roughly sliding into her in one swift motion. 

“Fuck” she groaned out as he starting to deliver rough,delicious strokes. 

“You goin be my girlfriend baby?” He asks yet again, brushing some of her curls out her face. Her mouth falls open but nothing comes out. He delivers a smack to her ass. “Answer me baby” He groans, going deeper bottoming out. 

“Oh shitt, Yess” She moans out blissfully.

“Say it” He says, pulling out and sitting on the side of the tub, pulling her back on him and sliding in again. He starts to work her up and down his member.

“Say it Makena” He states firmly.

“Ima be your girlfriend babyy” She blurts out.

“Yea?” He says with a smile, kissing you along the side of your face and neck as he still bounces you on him. Makena starts to throw it back on him, pulling out her best moves to show him that it doesn’t get any better than this. 

“Oh fuckk mama” He grunts, grabbing the back of her neck turning her to face him. 

“Gimme kiss” They lean into each other and give each other the sloppiest kiss ever. 

“Hmmm baby im cumming” She cries out, picking up her speed.

“Cum on your dick” His words were like a catalyst for her orgasm, which rips through her like a tornado. He finishes right behind her, pulling out and releasing on the rug. She turns to kiss him once again.

“Mm we not finished yet. I still have a lot of making up to do.” He says with a lustful grin on his face.

A/N: Makena definitely DID NOT stand on business 😭😭

[zenlesszonezero]

As the conspiracy reaches its finale, the Void Hunter joins the fight.

Uncover the Conspiracy in Zenless Zone Zero's All-New Version "A Storm of Falling Stars", S-Rank Agent Hoshimi Miyabi is here! With S-Rank Agent Asaba Harumasa Limited-Time Giveaway! Pre-register to obtain additional rewards.

[tokischaaaaa]

distraction 🌀

notes!!: inspired by tiktok above ^^

warnings: fluff

word count: 1.1k!!

y/n was 2 hrs into her stream on her twitch channel, she had just begun a poll on her stream to listen to albums she hadn’t had the chance to listen to before.

basically a listening party, and a way for her viewers to input and spread their music taste.

“so admins can yall show what are the albums chats saying i should listen to?”

moments later and a few clicks later, y/n moved the poll to the screen to show her viewers.

options of albums to listen to were:

orquídeas - kali uches

negro swan - blood orange

cowboy carter - beyoncé

late registration - kanye

considering the biggest/ most well known artist was beyoncé and kanye , the polls showed the competition between both albums.

seconds later, the poll ended and cowboy carter by beyoncé had won.

30 minutes later, after gasps, snapping and humming, y/n was 75% done with the album. as she heard the beginning another comentary interlude and got up and stretched, still being visble to chat she jumped once she heard a loud chanting in her head phones.

spaghettii had started playing, y/n got up and started tapping her foot while placing her hands on her hips. she was so distracted that she didn’t hear hamzah come inside their apartment, he was became quickly aware that y/n was streaming due to the blaring light from her monitor.

as the lyrics ‘like a snap of my fingers im thanos!’ was yelled by beyoncé, y/n couldn’t help but start twerking due to the hypnotizing song. she wasn’t showing her junk to the camera but having her backside face the wall.

hamzah on the other hand was having a fun time. he couldn’t help but laugh as y/n kept making faces as she rocked her hips.

soon she got lower and lower, THAT caught hamzahs attention. he began to feel his chest tighten as he his desire to be behind y/n as she was dancing grew stronger.

as the song started to progress and get a little slower instrumental wise, y/n went back to her seat and was quickly made aware of hamzahs presence by chat.

“who’s here chat?” y/n said looking around, her eyes meeting hamzahs.

“you saw all that?” y/n blurted as her face turned red.

“yeah, never knew you had that in you y/n,” hamzah chuckled, walking closer to her monitor.

“mhm, guess you never knew i was apart of the beyhive.” y/n said raising her eyebrows.

“yeah, guess not.” he said, still thinking about y/n’s dancing, getting closer to y/n.

y/n could tell hamzah was feeling dirty, but she had to warn him before he kept talking stupid.

“babe i’m on stream,” y/n said pressing her mute button.

hamzah took her finger off the button, and grinned to her.

“babe i don’t care, plus you was bucking your hips in the air.” hamzah snickered eyeing y/n down, putting his warm hand on her back, slowly inching his fingers under her shirt.

y/n’s back straightened quickly, hamzah grinned shifting his head to the camera.

“how’s the listening party going?”

“good, wait you’ve been watching?”

“yeah, nonifications always on for you babe.” he said giving her cheek a quick peck.

soon y/n’s chat filled with hearts and you and hamzahs ship name.

“bruh, look what you did.” y/n groaned. “i still got like 7 more songs. all chats gonna be doing is asking for this.”

“so, give them what they want.” hamzah smiled putting his bag down and letting his hand on y/n’s back go deeper and grab her ass.

a audible gasp came out of y/n.

“hamzah.” she hissed under her breath, holding onto the mic.

hamzah shrugged in response.

y/n took a deep breath, giving hamzah a playful glare before turning back to her chat. "alright, alright, y'all. let's get back to the music!" she said, trying to regain her composure.

as she clicked to start the next track, the chat was buzzing with excitement and heart emojis. "you two are too cute!" one message read, while another said, "this is the best stream ever!"

y/n couldn't help but smile. despite the unexpected interruption, she loved how supportive her community was. and she couldn't deny that hamzah's presence added a special touch to her streams.

as the next song started playing, y/n leaned back in her chair, letting the music wash over her. she glanced at hamzah, who was now lounging on the couch, watching her with a smirk. she felt a warmth spread through her chest, a mixture of love and amusement.

hamzah, sensing her gaze, winked at her. "you know, i could join you for the rest of the stream. make it a duet," he teased.

y/n laughed, shaking her head. "oh really? you think you can keep up with me and beyoncé?"

"absolutely," hamzah replied, standing up and moving closer to her setup. he pulled up a chair next to her, and the chat went wild with excitement.

"alright, chat, you heard him. hamzah's joining us for the rest of the listening party!" y/n announced, her smile widening as she saw the flood of positive reactions.

hamzah settled next to her, slipping his arm around her shoulders. "so, what's next on the list?" he asked, peering at the screen.

"let's see," y/n said, scrolling through the remaining tracks. "ah, here we go. this one’s a classic." she clicked play, and the opening notes filled the room.

as the music played, hamzah gently swayed in his seat, occasionally singing along and making y/n laugh with his over-the-top yapping. they shared stories about their favorite songs, playfully debated the best albums, and even took turns reading out the funniest comments from the chat.

at one point, hamzah leaned in closer, his voice soft in her ear. "you know, watching you like this, so happy and in your element... it’s one of my favorite things."

y/n felt her cheeks warm and her heart flutter. "glad you enjoy it as much as i do," she murmured back, giving his hand a squeeze.

as the final track played, they both leaned back, content and relaxed. y/n turned to hamzah, her eyes shining with gratitude and affection. "thanks for joining me tonight. it made this stream extra special."

"anytime, babe," hamzah replied, pressing a kiss to her temple. "you know i'm your biggest fan."

as they wrapped up the stream, y/n felt an overwhelming sense of joy. not just from the music and the wonderful interaction with her chat, but from the simple, beautiful connection she shared with hamzah. it was in moments like these that she felt truly blessed, knowing that they had something extraordinary.

"goodnight, everyone!" y/n called out, waving to the camera as the stream ended. she turned to hamzah, her eyes sparkling with happiness. "now, where were we?"

hamzah grinned, pulling her close. "i believe we were just getting started."

tokischaaaa speaks: idk why but i jus like writing fluff now lol 🤭

[tigertan]

neighborly favors and chicago cigarettes.

uhh late to the bear party but eat up anyway .

probably part one of a slow burn fic im writing .. lmk if the public wants more :3 CONTEXT } you recently moved to chicago with the help of your friend syndey, who's boss-slash-friend-slash-business partner had an open apartment across from him. [word count ; 4k] [ mentions of alchohol, cigarettes, cursing. ]

;; all fluff. awkward first meetings. a lot of fuckin' tension and shared cigarettes.

the blackened mac and cheese in the pot bubbles vengefully on the stovetop and you curse it right back with a hissed out, “fuuuck.”

you’d left the stove on for a bit too long when you went to hop into the shower. as a result your mac and cheese became charcoal black and smoking. it’s a wonder how the fire alarm didn’t go off as you grab the handle with a stained rag and toss it into the sink. 

the hot pot emits a dying hiss as it hits the water, and red whines from under the couch. “yeah, i know.” you respond to him, standing square in the kitchen and staring at the pot of your former dinner. “that was the last box too, shit.” you groan, finally stepping forward to peer over the sink edge and now you were staring at the guttering pasta and dairy mixture with furrowed brows. “fuck.” you say once more. instead of red’s usual whine in response your phone buzzes on the countertop and you received a text from sydney. she’s down by the bear if you wanted to stop by and maybe grab dinner with her and some of the staff since closing is in 30 minutes? you respond to her with a swift hell yeah. you didn’t dress up much. neat white t-shirt and gray sweatpants. afterall, the bear was a walking distance of four to five minutes. and you throw on a black puffer jacket, for chicago wasn’t christened the windy city for nothing. again, an entire scene change from the warm, near stagnant winds of southern california.

leaving red in the bedroom as it’s way past his bedtime, you grab your phone, wallet, and keys before stuffing your hands in your pockets and stepping out. but as you do there’s a rustling of paper against polyester and a crumpled sheet inside your left pocket. you already know what it is before pulling it out and every fiber in you wants to throw it away. it’s a photo roll— from last winter— of you and your ex-boyfriend, lucas. you sigh, stuffing your bottom lip between your teeth as you stare at the once over the moon you and him. it seemed so long ago, before he started drinking. you clench your jaw. you’d moped around enough in the past three months. this was a fresh start that everyone said you’d deserved, and it would not be ruined by him. nothing would ever be ruined by him again. a spike of anger wedges between your ribs, familiar and fucking ugly. you heave your chest once, exhaling it out along with the paper roll, tossing it to the floor. you jet down the stairs two at a time and step into the windy streets of the windy city, smelling the air. it smelled of petrol and cigarettes, but you didn’t outright hate it. it smelled like l.a. but then again, every big city probably smelled like gas and smoke.

the walk was quicker than you expected, as you strode down the street, you took in the street signs and flashing lights and other lone passerby who shared the sidewalk with you. a peaceful time of stressful pacing, for many a person walking the streets so late at night. 

the bear was an elegant place, with a contemporary touch to the furnishings and finishings that you could see from the outside itself. you stepped inside, warm smells of food filling your nostrils and teasing your tastebuds.  

it was beautiful, the ambiance had an aura that screamed both family and stress. but such was to be expected from a place that was aiming for a michelin star. you spotted where staff filtered in and out from the front of house and back of house and was beginning to make a line towards it when you were stopped by a very tall man— in his forties most likely— standing behind a lectern at the front who slid his hand between you and your goal. he wore a crisply pressed, all black suit and a buzz cut. “reservation ma’am,” he asked, a cocked brow as he took in your simple attire. you suddenly felt extremely self-conscious of your sweatpants and plain shirt; probably stained as well. “ah— well, i’m friends with sydney,” you reply, hoping it gets you past him. he doesn’t seem to be budged and you get nervous, even a little pissed from the way he’s looking at you. you’re a decent height, but he’s tall. that makes you shift on your feet. “i moved in next to her uh, friend-slash-buisness partner-slash-executive chef? does that— does that ring any bells?” you add on, shrugging. the big puffer you have on probably is not helping your case. “uh-huh.” he nods over another waitstaff, whispers in their ear and sends them off. you two then stand there for a bit, his blue eyes seeming staring directly into you and you shuffle a bit on your feet. you introduce yourself, guessing that maybe reducing the barrier of strangers would ease the tension of this encounter. telling him your name, you hold your hand out. he looks at it then back up to your face before taking it with a grip like iron. “richard. richie. nice to meet yo’.” “nice to meet you too, richie.” you nod shake his hand. at that moment the wait staff is back and whispers again in richie’s ear. he nods and they go back onto the floor and richie nods towards the back. “guess you’re free to go sweetheart.” he gives you a wink as you pass and you give him a scrunched up side eye. what a weirdo. the kitchen is fast. fast isn’t even the best way to describe it. just standing in the doorway had your palms itching to jump in and help, although you wouldn’t be much help, being a preschool teacher. a waiter was coming at you in long strides, an expensive dish in their hands and you immediately stepped to the side, not wanting to be the cause for someone missing their meal. you spot sydney, at the front of the line and constantly spewing out order after order after order, each one responding with a, “yes chef!” from the cooks in the kitchen. 

suddenly another chef bursts into the kitchen from the front and his pale brown hair is flying at the ends, although it looks like he’d tried to slick it back it obviously failed; his eyes are a striking blue and widened, the irises eating away the white sclera. but even though he seemed a tad shorter than you, he was pretty fuckin’ cute. that was, until, he opened his mouth and his voice climbed to a screaming spiel at sydney and anyone who was around, really. rounding the large table of food and preparation in the middle of the kitchen, he grabbed two trays and shoved them at the waitstaff. while you didn’t understand most of it, kitchen lingo was incredibly confusing— why was everyone chef? how do you know who was talking to who?— you could tell that he was practically bursting in anger, the bridge of his nose bunched up with the t-zone of his face. 

it was a sight really. a perhaps five seven man in a pressed white chef outfit screaming like all hell was breaking loose. maybe a little scary, but you couldn’t help but stifle a laugh. from whatever dramas you’ve seen on chef life and the such— take marco pierre white, for example— head chefs were incredibly demanding, seemingly downright arrogant.

you didn’t want to get caught in the crossfire, being a prime target for your un-chef-liness in the midst of a busybodied kitchen, so you ducked into what looked like an office, one wall plastered with a ceiling-to-floor bookshelf and a framed picture of a baseball stadium. hopefully you were safe in here. you sighed. 

but it turns out you weren’t, because that same short angry chef came barreling into the office area and stopped short when he spotted you, the scream dying on his tongue. there was the thick and familiar air of awkward tension and you fiddled with the material in your pockets, swallowing. “hello.” you break in and he blinks. his eyes are huge, you realize. “are you— are you going to yell at me too?” “uh. i’m– i’m sorry, wh—” he replies, brows furrowing as he looks you up and down.  “CARMY!” sydney followed in closely after the chef, cutting him off. she looked at you, doing a short double take before looking back at— carmy? “can you just— can you calm down? you’re scaring everyone again.” she sighed, obvious exasperation on her face. it flicked a switch in carmy and he turned to her, all the anger filling his features in an instant. “no syd, the fucking fish is cold again. we have a vip up there and the fish is cold and—” he was like a candle wick, you realized. exploding now and then in violent, flashing flames, only to get doused out with a simple thing or the other. 

this time it was sydney circling her heart with a closed fist. and he stuttered, swallowing harshly before doing the getsure back to her. “i’m sorry.” she says, “i was caught up again and it all got fucked. i’ll fix it.” unsure of what to do, you debated doing it too. but maybe that would be weird. so you instead shoved your hands deeper in your pocket and thinned your lips. “uh. sorry,” you shot a look to carmy. “should i go?” you asked sydney. “i thought you guys were uh. done so i like— came over here.” 

sydney chuckled lightly, though it sounded more tired than anything. “no, no you’re fine. it’s just the dinner rush. it’s dying out, the kitchen closes in like— fifteen minutes. i didn’t realize you’d get here so quickly.” “well, it’s like a five minute walk, so.” you explain. “i would’ve hung out with red,” you joke. sydney grins. “yeah, he would’ve liked that a lot more.” “okay, who is this?” carmy interjects, hands splayed in front of him as if he tried to physically stop the conversation between you and sydney. your friend nodded as if to say oh yeah, and gestured to you, telling carmy your name. “she’s the one who moved across from you. that’s why i asked you for that apartment information.” 

he just nods, then hands you another look before turning on his heel back into the kitchen. 

sydney watches him walk away and then turns to you. she shrugs in apology and you dismiss it with a wave. “i’m. so sorry. i genuinely thought you’d take longer. just… hang out in here, i guess.” you laugh and take a seat— gingerly— in the office chair. “yeah, i’ll just hang out in here.” sydney nods then jets back to the chaos that is the kitchen after flashing you another one of her signature smiles. thank goodness you’d downloaded that mind-numbing mobile app on the flight here.

-- you could hear the unwinding of the kitchen from the office. it was evident; the defeated hiss of fired pans falling into a sink, stoves clicking off, and the urgent yells of the staff had reduced to inaudible chatter. carmy walks back into the office, and he seemingly forgot you were there, from the way he stopped in his tracks and blinked at you. he was no longer in a chef uniform, eight sets of buttons across his chest were swapped out for a plain white t-shirt and black jeans that were too tight around his calves. the shirt also was fitted around his chest despite the bagginess it held around the rest of his frame. did he have a thing for too-tight clothes? you looked up, and immediately stood from the chair, apology written across your face. “ah. sorry. syd said i could wait in here after… all that.” “yeah, no no, it’s… it’s fine. i just need, uh,” he pointed to the jacket hanging on the seat of the chair. the one you’d been half sitting-slash-leaning on, and had noted mentally that it was a pretty ugly shade of brown. “oh. yeah.” you fumble the pickup, fumble the fucking delivery, but the jacket ends back in carmy’s hands and he slides it on. only then you realize he had tattoos. all over his arms.

you’d always wanted a tattoo, maybe one of red. you’d seen other dog obsessed people on tiktok get tattoos of their dog’s paws and noses. carmy’s ink peered out from his jacket, littering his left hand in numbers and other stray marks. you sort of stand there for a moment, unsure of what to do until he speaks, “are you um— you’re sydney’s friend?” he asks, blinking voraciously. you nod. “yeah. that’s me.” theres a bit of a chuckle to it, in the hopes of the labored tension between you two will dissipate.

unfortunately it doesn’t. 

you’d heard many things about this guy, everything but his name, surprisingly. sydney had raved about him being named the ‘best chef’ in the ‘best restaurant’ in america. in socal, with the budget you had, the best you’d get was souplantation. it’s a shame they shut down. 

maybe he should win an award for most awkward man ever, you thought with a bitter edge, swallowing hard. “are you going to the bar too?” you ask. he seems almost surprised you decided to continue to talk to him and he looks behind him then back to you in rapid succession. “oh. yeah. just for, for a few.” he replied. you nod back, and jump at this newfound opportunity. “how far is it?” “huh? oh, like, a ten minute drive.” carmy responds, taking out a rung of car keys from his left pocket. perfect. you think. “do you think—” you begin, on the path to ask him for a ride, maybe you’d break the awkward silence between you two and you’d be friends. but it never happened on account of sydney walking back into the office, changed into her large trench coat and grins at you as she calls your name. “you ready? we’ll take the subway,” she nods to the door, and waits as if you were to follow. you sigh internally. oh well. maybe he’d drink enough and they’d loosen up and you could ask him if his name was really carmy and why the hell he was so mad earlier. you side step carmy with a muttered, “excuse me”, and follow sydney out the back and around the corner and to the subway. —

the bar is quaint, some local pub with local teams and references plastered from wooden mahogany wall to wooden mahogany wall. it smells strongly of beer and grease, so thickly it lays gently on your tongue and makes you immensely hungry.

sydney walks to a table in the far right corner. a tall man and very short woman sit side by side, joking as the woman grins widely. a pudgy guy with a braid sits beside— great. richie is here too, you realize with sullen realization and swallow the sour bile in your throat. he just radiated a terribly immature aura. the other side of the table were four seats, the two on the right side filled by another tall man in a beanie and beside him sat carmy. you wonder in passing how he got here so fast. “sydney! you’re late,” richie booms, beer glass in his hand. the image is crude and you cringe by the slightest. sydney scoffs playfully, rolling her eyes. “shut the fuck up richie,” she retorts. you sit on the side next to carmy and sydney takes your right. he raises his hands in mock surrender, and passes two untouched beer glasses to you and sydney, you take it slowly. you hadn’t drank since— well, since you realized why lucas acted the way he did. so you held the beer glass between you hands on the table and watched the witty banter of the staff members unfold, so natural and so familial it felt warm and fuzzy— for lack of a better, less cheesy term— in the deepest parts of your heart.

but it was broken, momentarily, by carmy standing up in a bit of an abrupt manner and muttering something along the lines of “smoke break,” and you watch him leave with some sadness. he hadn’t talked much, during the whole show, whenever he did it was a sideish chuckle or a shut the fuck up to richie. a lot of people were saying that, you realized. the break let everyone take a hearty swig from their glasses, and the silence brought the attention to you. tina— the short woman with an underlying spanish accent— asked you where you were from. “california,” you replied. “it fucking sucks out here,” you joke, and feel a sense of social accomplishment when the staff laughed alongside you. it grants you that moment of courage for you to take a sip of ‘liquid courage’. you hadn’t drank in so long. you were never a heavyweight, but the long gap between your last taste of spirit let the alcohol in the drink go immediately to your head and opened the metaphorical floodgates of your surprisingly dirty mouth and quick whips that were always the highlight of your college party experience. 

“so why’d you move out here, then, sweetheart?” [“you can’t just call people sweetheart, richie,” sydney scolded almost subconsciously, but was brushed off by richie with a wave.] you held the beer glass in both your hands, a brow lifting with the side of your mouth in a half-disgusted-half-scorned look. “um. california’s too fucking expensive?” you offer in a ploy to change the subject but he shakes his head as he follows through with his question, staring at you. “don’t believe that.” he retorted almost immediately in between a swig of beer. you glared at him. “okay, fucko. i needed a new job.” “and what are you?” “... a preschool teacher.” “not with that mouth!” ebra interjected with gibelike laughter, the other members of the beef chiming in. you had to admit, that was true. you’d always had a bit of a sailors tongue, something your fellow teachers berated you on during your days as a TA. 

“okay, okay, yeah, i have a filthy fucking mouth, but i’m still a preschool teacher.” you shrug, taking a sip with a snarky smile. “okay, but preschool teacher pay is worse in illinois.” richie pressed you. he knew there was something, you knew he wanted it out of you, like the nosy fuckin’ bitch he was. “okay, but—” “come on, what is it really?” he interrupted you with a plaguey tone of voice that made your stomach curdle and your mouth twist in an annoyed grimace. “you fuck the wrong principal? buy the wrong drugs? bad fuckin’ boyfriend?” when your grip on the glass tightens, the beer sloshing the sides at the miniscule impact, richie knows he’s won. and like the loud mouth he is, he makes it known. “oh HO, so that’s your fucking pandora’s box. come on, what kind of asshole was he? the tight assed asshole? the—” 

he doesn’t get a chance to finish because you slam your beer glass down onto the honey-washed wooden table and it spills, getting your hand and the sleeve of your puffer damp. you glare daggers into richie, the familiar javelin of rage fitting in your chest almost familiarly. “do you fucking mind? ever hear of privacy, you washed up gossip whore?” you damn near snarl, shoving the chair back as you stand and cock your head to one side. the bar had quieted; curious, nosy bystanders had taken an interest in the sudden spike of aggression and noise that radiated from you. sydney gingerly tried to lay a hand on your arm, but you pulled away from her as the pressure fell on your bicep. you didn’t mean to snap at her, but as of that moment, you’d snap at anyone. you felt cornered, like a wild animal being poked through the bars of a cage by jeering children. the teeth in your jaw ground together, and you pushed the chair back further with your legs to untangle yourself from the situation, taking long, deliberate strides to the back door, the one carmy had gone through. shoving through the heavy metal door, it didn’t take you long to find carmy. he stood a few paces away from the door, under a flickering street lamp that flirted with various winged insects. it splayed over him, illuminating the chef in harsh yet complementary light.

he looks almost surprised you’re there, a cig pursed in his lips, the case in one hand with the lighter in the other. “uh. hey,” he nods to you. was it routine for these awkward silences to find a home between you two? you nod back, the flush in your cheeks hopefully falling out. then you nod to the cigarette case in his hands. “enough to share?”

–

you two stand; around a foot or two apart, cigarettes in your mouths. one looked up and the other looked down. the sky was shittily pretty, you noted. city pollution obstructed the sight of any stars, but the neon glows of various billboards and street signs rose into the air and tinged the edges of the purple-black canvas. 

you exhaled heavily, the smoke burning your nostrils on the way out. it’d been, what— two, three months?— since you’d “quit” smoking. it didn’t fit with the whole preschool teacher-esque you needed. but tonight was just getting worse and worse and you wanted to go bash your head against the brick alleyway until god herself would come down and take you away. “richie?” he speaks, and it startles you. the cig nearly falls from your mouth, but you take it away between your index and middle finger. you look back at him, blinking then nodding slowly. he nods back in acknowledgement. “what uh– what he’d do now?” “other than be a big fucking nosy bitch, nothing, really.” you reply, taking a long drag on the cigarette, the spike in your ribs chipping away with each wash of nicotine. 

carmy makes an o with his mouth and nods again. he looked like a bird, you realized. but not in a bad way, or anything. like a flighty falcon, the kind you saw on those nature rehabilitation shows on animal planet. you just needed to hold them the right way, maybe say the right cooing words. maybe find something in common if you did that right.  you give a slight look to him from the side. the cigarette was cushioned in his lips, and while they weren't very large, from here alone you could tell they were plush pink and soft, from curve it held around the butt of the cig.

“why’d you come out then?” he asks another question, snapping you out of your creepy lip-admiration. the fact that he was asking you more questions made you think this was either progression or unsettling, but it was hard to decide. you shrug in response, however. “i was hungry, actually. burned my mac and cheese.” there was another few moments of silence, filled only with the city life of chicago and your noisy exhale, blue gray smoke tendrils curling in the air.

“i could make you somethin’.” he offers, his voice nonchalant and passive, even though his big fuckin’ eyes stared at you like he was some lost puppy.

it was kind of endearing, actually. no one had ever cooked for you. why'd it make your chest tighten pleasingly?

you laugh. “sure. one day, when you can, neighborly favor of sorts if you’re into that.” you jest, unaware he was being serious. you take another lung filling puff of the cigarette, nicotine thick in your senses. “chicago cigarettes are strong,” you remark.

he nods. “like em’ better than the new york ones.”

you raise your brows in acknowledgement. he swallows some air, not for the cigarette, you realize as he begins to speak.

“i was, uh, being serious, by the way. i fucking hate mac and cheese.”

you grin, looking over at him, the dim glow of the cigarette hanging from your lip. “me too.”

...

for more / updates go check out my ao3 !

[xoxovalrea]

Ifhy. Fugishiro m. + !fem reader

🎀Based on this audio🎀

༊*·˚ Warnings-  hatefuck-ish, rude words, alcohol use, mentions of weed, dom megumi, sub reader, smut

༊*·˚ A/n: pretend megumi is gojos bsf cus this isn’t like yuji😇☺️

༊*·˚ Sypno: You’re at a party you came for one sole reason, your crush. Just to find out he has a gf. Butt things work out in the end.

⋆·˚ ༘ * MINORS DNI🕊️ ⋆·˚ ༘ *

You liked gojo for a while. A while as in one whole college semester and two weeks during the summer. To back track you gave up on him after a party a specific party at that was of course hosted by the man himself Gojo and his dick of a best friend megumi. You three were friends you and megumi were even in the same classes but there was always this tension between you guys.

Anyways, your bestie nobara heard about a party gojo is hosting. Of course being the best friend ever she encourages you to go because “he might see how hot you are and tap that i would too honestly” you hit her and you both laughed in response. 

Fast forwarding to the night of the party, you took a nap because shit you were fucking tired from all the beach trips you did previously throughout the week. You woke up two hours prior which was NOT enough time to get ready but who the hell shows up for a party the time it starts? You hopped in the shower cleaning off all the crusties and musties you had. You of course shaved EVERYTHING just in case Nobara was right. But you had a feeling the night would not go as planned. 

There wasn’t really a theme but you knew it was a typical house party. So you threw on a black halter top and a beige mini skirt you didn’t really care about with some black shoes. You sprayed some type of sweet smelling perfume on and called nobara.

“Bitch pick up“ you looked at the ringing facetime call. She finally answered looking like she was driving. “Heyyy you look cutee girlie” she smiled at you. “Thank you pooka what the fuck should i do to my hair pony with a side part or down with a side part” she nodded and held up a 1. You quickly did your hair and headed out of your apartment complex and saw nobara’s white honda civic in front of the place. 

“Hi my fav girl” you said as you entered her car. She was putting on some sort of lipgloss. She basically had on the same thing as you but with tan pants total copy cat.  “Soo have you even been talking to satoru.” She questioned as she started heading to the party. “Yea a bit he is just so damn hard to talk to like just a few weeks ago he texted so much and now im unadded on everything” She looked at you with disappointment in her eyes knowing you’re gonna spend this whole party sulking over him. Funny thing is you definitely didn’t well for the record you didn’t cry at all but you got upset and other things but for the record you didn’t cry

See what you didn’t know is megumi liked you and hated the fact that you were wrapped all around Satoru’s finger. He hated the fact that you would stare off at him and just blank out everytime you, him, and satoru hung out. He purposely let gojo fall inlove with another girl and he would casually just let gojo ghost you. He went as far as to even setting gojo up on a date just so he couldn’t have you. He wanted you to forget about him in more than one way.

Anyways, nobara just nodded and said “maybe you should try his bestfriend he’s pretty cute” you looked at her like she was crazy “oh he HATES my fucking guts nobara. he wants me dead like the stares he gives me are the worst” you whine she shrugs her shoulders and adds  “well maybe megs wants to rearrange them you know its always the quiet ones” she giggles as you punch her shoulder and blush. You guys arrive to the party at around 9:30 ish As soon as you step into the house the thick sent of weed engulfs your lungs. Yea you smoked every 5 months but that smell could be the worst but the best at the same time.

You see nobara walk off leaving you all alone. “Well just say fuck me huh” you mutter to yourself trying to find the kitchen. You see megumi pouring himself a drink a simple one at that rum and coke. “excuse me” you say pushing past him to get a cup and some pink Whitney and a sprite . He looked you up and down rolling his eyes and scoffing “all dressed up huh“ he says taking a sip of his drink. You finish pouring your drink, “yea i guess“ you laugh “well you look like a slut” he chuckles trying to insult you “you must like sluts“ you reply as you walk off to find nobara. Feeling his eyes piercing through your skull. Yea megumi was cute but his attitude was fucking terrible. 

As you walk around you see gojo kissing a girl. You felt every bone in your body twitch with not with hate just sadness. Being honest you only liked his attention he was cute but his attention was amazing. The playful texts the calls everything it was amazing. You felt a tear run down your face and you walked upstairs towards the bathroom bumping into megumi who scowled at you.

You gained your composure after a solid 5 minutes of standing in the mirror with a burning throat feeling you couldn’t even cry. You sat on the stairs scowling and pouting at gojo and his new girlfriend. She was beautiful really really beautiful. You were snapped out of your thoughts when someone pushed you. It was megumi standing infront of you. 

“Enjoying the view?” Megumi questions as he laughs. “Go to hell” you say looking up at him pouting. “Already there” you roll your eyes as he sits down next to you. “the outfit didnt work huh?” He pouts at you as you shift over. “You know you could probably fuck anyone here but your too focused on gojos dick” you roll your eyes again trying not to curse megumi out “you wanna bet?” You say out of confidence. “Oh you’d lose in an instant”

You remember what nobara said and sigh. You grab megumi’s hoodie and straddle his lap seeing his face tint pink. “Are you fucking crazy” you roll your eyes as if he isnt getting rock hard under you right now. “Your not even pushing me off dont deny it now” you laugh looking into his low glossy eyes. “Well fuck kiss me.” He says you hesitate a little looking at gojo who obviously isnt paying any mind to yall. You kiss him gently holding his face. You feel him get harder by the second as you grind on his lap trying to get some friction.

Megumi snakes his hands around your waist. He sighs a bit as he deepens the kiss and carries you into gojos room.  He quickly opens and shuts the door pushing you against the wall kissing you harder. He hooked his hands under your bra cupping your breasts.

“You’re such a slut you know that right?” You gasp in response as he pinches your nipples. You think about how wrong this is especially fucking Gojos best friend in his room. You snap out of your thoughts from the feeling of being picked up megumi still dominating your mouth as he sits you on the bed. “Come on baby open that pretty mouth let me fuck it” he unzips his pants pulling them down along with his underwear. Revealing his pale colored dick suprizingly he was pretty big. He shoved his length in your mouth making you gag violently. He groaned loudly as he slowly thrusted in your mouth picking up pace by the second.

“So fucking wet and warm” he growled as he fucked your throat at this point he should be in your lungs because you can barely breathe with his length. “Look at me pretty girl” he said as he held your face you looked at him with cock drunk eyes and spit running down your chin. He rolled his eyes and took his cock out of your mouth. “lay down and spread your legs” he ripped your skirt off examined the wet spot on your panties and whispered a low fuck. Yes you hated megumi but fuck it felt so good to see a man look at your body like a starved animal. He kissed up and down your thighs leaving small marks, finally he slid your panties off revealing your arousal and pocketed them. He kissed the soft fleash of your pussy then licked a long stripe from your hole to your clit. You shivered at the sensation after a long minute of licking he finally sucked your clit making your hand jolt to his hair.

You arched and moaned as megumi ate you out. Really his tounge was skilled the muscle knew every spot inside and out of your body. “More” you uttered out in pleasure and he added two fingers in. You gripped his hair tightly from the sudden stretch he growled as you tightened around him. His fingers hit every spot you couldn’t its like you hated him for making you feel this good but at the same time you loved every second of it. You didn’t realize how this whole time he was watching expressions until he spoke “no come on baby look at me look at me and cum all over my face” you opened your eyes as your orgasm suddenly began building up you were seconds from coming eyes tearing up body shaking you came all over his fingers he lapped up your sweet liquids and came up to kiss your neck.

“Surprisingly you taste really fucking good” you scoffed at him he chuckled and slapped your ass harshly “Say thank you” you rolled your eyes “for what? Gojo’s probably better” you knew what you were doing you’re making him jealous it really fucked him up seriously. He looked at you like you were fucking stupid “Take it back” you laughed repeating what you said “really okay” he kissed you roughly biting your lip making it bleed breaking the kiss then flipping you into doggy style pushing your head into gojos pillows slapping your ass harshly multiple times then slapping his dick on your pussy. He slid it in quickly thrusting in giving you no time to adjust. Your eyes were rolling back head foggy not even 10 minutes in thats how good his dick was. You tried not to moan loud but megumi didn’t like it he grabbed your neck and yanked your head back to look at him. “Come on moan like the slut you are” you had no choice really you moaned his name loud enough for the whole house to hear luckily the music was up extremely loud. “Megumi fuck too big I can’t-“ he shoved your head back into the pillows he hated the word ‘can’t’ it just wasn’t in his vocabulary.

“Fuck megumi please im sorry” you dont know how many orgasms or how many positions megumi put you in but you know he wasnt even close to cumming and you guys ended up on the floor. “No no you want gojo right dont even think about moaning my name slut.” He smacked your ass harshly as he twitched inside of you as you came again. “Sorry ‘m so so sorry” you say slurred he laughs as he watches your make up run down your hot cheeks biting your shoulders again “awhh you want my cum baby? Or you want gojo to fill you up?” You shake your head no violently he doesn’t take this as an answer and slaps your ass four times making you scream. “Please you i want only you please cum in me please” you moan as he rubs your clit violently groaning and picking up his speed as be finally climaxes inside of you. “Fuckk baby you feel so fucking good” he shutters as he pulls out putting his cum back in with his fingers. Fingering you slowly to your last climax. You arch your back and cry his name as you squirt all over his fingers with a slight shake as you slowly fall asleep.

He picks you up off the floor and places you on the bed seeing you fall asleep. He laughs and puts on his clothes and dresses you carrying your sleeping body over his shoulders down the stairs letting gojo and nobara you guys are leaving. You woke up in the morning groggy and sore from last nights events, you felt a hand pull you in closer as you tried to get away. “Stop fucking moving” you rolled your eyes but obliged when the not so mysterious man behind you kissed your neck. “Megumi stop” you rolled over and kissed his lips softly as he looked at you with sleepy eyes arms still wrapped around your waist. He buried himself in your breasts and fell back asleep you did the did same resting your chin in his hair.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚

      THE END💗

 This may be the last jjk fanfic I write as of rn😭 i gotta move on. Bye lovessss💗💗💗

[imagine-that-100]

Will We Talk | Part 4 ~ Teaser

A/N: I'm hella sorry that it's not the full part besties, I truly am. But I'm giving you a good chunk of it to give you something to look forward to. I'm aiming to post the full thing before the end of the month. I've just checked im up to 10.9k words, and this tease is 2.3k of it for you xxx Thank you for sticking with me and I hope you enjoyyyyy x

~*~*~*~

I need to speak to you 

You text the singer as you’re walking home from Katie’s. You thought about just leaving it but you know if you keep what you're feeling bottled in it will just make you go back into your shell when you’re around him, and that’s the last thing either of you want. 

Thankfully those thoughts don’t have enough time to fester because about 2 minutes later Alex texts you back. 

Christ

Am I in trouble? x

His response makes you roll your eyes as you can practically hear him asking you. You know for a fact he will have snorted when he got the message through and when he typed that one back to you. So you keep him in limbo for a bit. 

You’re not funny 

Phone me when you’re free. 

Thankfully you’re not waiting for ages for the call. Your phone starts ringing as you turn the corner and head down your road. It’s a little embarrassing how excited you are to get back in your house for a bit and just relax until the party later. 

After greeting him, Alex gets straight to the point, “What’s up Y/N?”

“About this holiday,” You start, “Katie told me she wants me to come and I want to know how you feel about that before I start to spiral.”

You can already sense the panic in your chest as you feel like you’re at a bit of a stalemate. You don’t want to let Katie down but you’re also definitely not going to go if Alex wants a break from you. You don’t want to intrude on his holiday. Especially one that’s for his birthday. 

“Don’t spiral.” Alex begs, and you swear he’s also outside as you can almost hear the way he takes a drag of a cigarette before he says, “The last thing we need is you spiralling and questioning everything again.”

You can picture the smile tugging at his lips as he says that. So much so that him finding your panic amusing means that you silently want to scorn him. 

“I’m well aware of that.” You say a little bit too bluntly, so you attempt to soften the blow when you follow up with a rhetorical, “Why do you think I asked you to call me?”

Alex definitely mutes a laugh, covering it by him pretending to clear his throat. To make sure he doesn’t get himself into trouble he distracts you by asking, “What’s panicking you now?”

“The holiday.” You take a deep breath before you start to vent your worries, “Apparently it’s for your birthday, I don’t know if you want me there with what’s going on with us. The fact that you’re apparently paying... I don’t want you paying for me if I come.”

“I did tell Katie to invite you if she wanted to.” Alex reveals. 

“That’s not the point. Do you want me there?” You ask him directly, “I don’t want to intrude on a holiday that’s for your birthday.”

Alex takes a second to answer that, not because it’s a difficult answer but mostly because he wants to know, “If we weren’t sleeping together would you come?”

You think about it for a second and realise that you probably would, but not without speaking to him and asking Katie at least 30 times if you were actually welcome. Not to mention trying not to interact with him much when you were out there. And you certainly would not be allowing him to pay for you. 

“I still would have double checked with you first, or got Katie to. But that doesn’t matter, it’s different now,” You start talking about your reality again, “The dynamic has changed.”

“Y/N, we were friends anyway,” Alex sighs and you’re glad he can’t see the way your face contorted in disagreement. “The only thing that’s different this time is that we’ve seen each other naked.” 

You almost scoff. 

You’ve done a lot more than see me naked, sir. 

Feeling flustered at the memories of him fucking you flooding back to your mind, you just get back to the point, “So, do you want me there or not?”

And you listen to his response as you unlock your front door and get into your house. Feeling the absence of the chill from outside makes the singers answer all the more bearable. 

“I just want you to do whatever you want to. You can come and have a holiday. I don’t expect anything from you if that’s what you’re worried about.” Alex says sincerely, before adding, “And I am paying.”

“I don’t want you to pay Alex,” You whine like a child not getting their own way. But you add honestly, “It makes me uncomfortable.”

And it’s not even just because you’re fucking him, although that is your main concern. It’s the fact that you’ve barely known him properly before now (and you still wouldn’t say you were all that close in any way but physically), you can’t in your right mind let him spend thousands on a skiing holiday for you.  

“Y/N, I didn’t invite you to make you feel uncomfortable.” The singer sighs, feeling like you should know this already. 

He’s not ever excluded you from something before and he’s certainly not about to start doing so now. And he’s not letting you pay for yourself when everyone else who is coming is paid for already. Christ, he doesn’t really know why this is even a conversation when everything has already been sorted and paid for in advance. 

You feel like you’re whining when you again admit, “I know that’s not the intention but I still feel it Alex.”  

“Well It’s up to you.” Alex shrugs, hoping to convey how much he’s unbothered by the fact he’s paying for a holiday, but he doesn’t want to pressure you. “You’re very welcome to come and I’m paying for everyone, not just you.”

“But-“ You start but then stop yourself. 

Alex immediately questions, “But what?”

He would rather know what’s going on in your head rather than be left guessing. He needs to know how best to reassure you otherwise you both will just regress. And he doesn’t think that wanting for your honesty is too much to ask.

You can’t bring yourself to say it. So you just leave him with silence. 

But that silence speaks volumes. 

“You worried that if I pay for you to come I’m expecting you to shag me?” A few beats of silence pass and as you don’t dismiss him entirely, he already knows it to be true. His question is entirely rhetorical, “That’s it, isn’t it?”

You can’t even confirm it for him. It’s embarrassing to admit, but that is a worry of yours. 

“Y/N.” Alex sighs, knowing he’s right because of your silence. “I don’t expect anything from you, you know that right? You can come away with us and we don’t have to do anything.”

“It’s not compulsory, even when we’re home. Y/N/N, you’re Katie’s best friend, you’ve been around for 10 years.” He backs up his point some more, “You came on the last holiday we went on, this is going to be no different to that. My birthday just happens to fall on a day whilst we’re there.” 

“You didn’t pay for me last time Al.” You argue in a slight huff, already feeling like you’re fighting a losing battle. 

“Hey, listen to me.” Alex persists, “I’m paying for everyone to come, not just you, and I’m not expecting a huge orgy all week.” 

You can help the laugh that escapes your lips at that. It’s a full giggle that the singer can’t help but grin at as he takes another drag of his cigarette. 

“There’s that laugh.” He hums, enjoying the sound even more purely because it’s him that’s caused it. 

Only after your laughter subsided, do you ask, a lot calmer now, “Are you sure you want me there?” 

“Yes, sweet.” Alex assures you. And just to convince you some more, he adds, “I need someone to entertain Mrs Cook when I pull Jamie away for a pint anyway. Think you fit the brief.” 

“Ah yeah, I think I could do that for you.” You chuckle a little, but then you’re serious in a soft tone, “I still feel bad that you’re paying though Alex. Skiing holidays are a lot of money.”

“I have a lot of money that I’ll never need.” The singer tells you, and you try not to think about the way anxiety in your chest dissipates when he says, “I’d rather treat my friends to a week away.”

You're his friend. Something so simple shouldn’t make your heart swell. Especially when the other night he tongue fucked you until you came, twice. 

“Well I’m buying you food and drinks whilst we’re away then.” You counter, finally readying yourself to admit defeat. 

“We’re going all inclusive but thanks.” You can almost hear Alex’s smirk. 

You sigh, dropping down onto your settee and leaning back to try and get comfy, “Well I’m assuming we won’t be staying in the hotel for your birthday. They’ll be pubs and cafes I’m sure.” 

He counters, “I’ll take a drink at the airport before we go.” 

“Okay deal.” You accept but know you’ll find ways to do more than just that, “Thank you Alex. You really don’t have to do this.”

“Well I want to.” Alex smiles, and his tone is full of amusement as he says, “And I can’t have you spiralling.”

You hum in a silent laugh at that and let your eyes close as you take a deep breath. You’re about to tell him that it’s just how you are but you’re okay now you’ve spoken about it. But he takes your attention again. 

“You know that this goes both ways right, Y/N/N?” You’re about to ask him what he’s on about until he continues, “If I text you asking to come over, you can say no and I’m not going to be offended by it. I understand that it’s not going to happen every time.” 

He’s talking about fucking you. And trying to make you feel more at ease about your situationship. 

Alex finishes off by saying, “I just ask on the off chance that you’re up for it.”

“I am always up for it.” Are the words that slip from your lips, and when you realise what you’ve said, your eyes shoot open. 

Oh my god woman, you sound so needy. Backtrack now. Now!

You sit up as you begin to pathetically backtrack, “Well. I mean, I- when you say you are, I, I- usually am too.”

“Good to know you’re always up for me, sweet,” You can hear Alex's smirk then, but thankfully he doesn’t tease you more for it he just carries on to say, “It seems like I’m texting you all the time asking to come over but you can text me. You’re allowed to get horny too.” 

You try and fail not to flush at hearing him say that. Especially when you can feel the ghost of his touch as you’re sitting on the settee he had you ride him on a week ago. 

“Alex, you’re over twice a week, if not more... It’s not like I’m without relief for long.” To drive the point home you say, “It’s not a ten month wait again.”

In your little meetings you’d discussed when you’d both last been with someone else. Yours was a guy you were seeing at the beginning of the year who turned out to just not do it for you after you dated him for a few months. 

Alex’s last fling was another rebound of his after the French girl he cheated on Taylor with. Turns out Alex hadn’t been with anyone in the last 5 months which did surprise you a little. But who are you to presume he’d just become a slag after his break up? 

“Still. We started this for a reason.” Alex drives the point home, wanting you to fully understand, “You can say no and you can call me whenever you want too.” 

You nod even though he can’t see you, ���I know.”

“Maybe this holiday can just be the friends you’re so persistent we’re not.” 

You frown, confused, “What?”

“Your rule, ‘no sex while we’re away’.” Alex smirks, but he’s sincere when he says, “To make you feel more comfortable. 

“I don’t wanna seem like a prude Alex I just don’t…” You fail to continue your sentence, Wanna seem like a prostitute. 

“I think of all people, I’m not the one who’s going to think of you as a prude, sweet.” The singer can't help but tease, finding himself funny. 

You take a deep breath, trying not to let your amusement or embarrassment show, “So where are we going?”

“The Alps.” The singer tells you almost smugly, “Where else?”

You decide that you may as well ask him for the details if he’s sorting everything out, “When do we go?”

“Early morning of the second, we need to be at the airport for like four.” He tells you after a moment of thought. 

You hum, finally letting the excitement for a holiday bubble in your stomach, “Okay.”

Alex is smiling already hearing you finally sound at ease about the holiday, but he can’t help but push his luck a little more, “You free tonight, sweet?”

“No and neither are you,” You almost laugh, the amusement clear in your voice, “We’ve got Katie’s New Year’s party.”

Alex is grinning as he comes back with, “I mean at like three in the morning.”

“You’re a horny fuck.” You can’t help but tell him as you shake your head. 

You’re entirely unable to stop your face from flushing, making you very grateful he can’t see you. All you hope is he’s picturing you with a completely unbothered yet 

“You’re the one that just said you’re always up for me.” Alex counters and you have to bite your tongue. 

Idiot Y/N. 

“See you later Alex.” You immediately dismiss him, not wanting his teasing right now. 

Alex laughs loudly, “See you later sweet.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: Are they gonna make it to the end of the holiday???? Who knowwwwssssss... Also I need your helpppppp, what stuff at a bar could Alex or Sweet do that would make the other jealous? Even if its just something subtle??? Let me knowwww x (Can't promise all suggestions will go in because I need to get this out to you but any ideas are welcome, please let me knowwww xoxoxoxo)

[nobodywritingao3]

i feel kind of sick making this post so please excuse me if i sound like a rambling mess. i am not the type of person to talk in detail about my life in online places cuz i live in fear of this getting back to my abuser but shubble's story punched all my most sensitive spots and i want to talk about it

(really long sensitive post)

ive gotten kind messages from people that i havent responded to. the idea of responding to people individually kind of makes me feel sick. so im doing this instead. and im also going to vent really hard because i am not doing well and talking about this to my therapist is soul crushingly embarrassing because wilbur soot is a minecraft man and im a freshly turned 20 year old who pays rent and is respected by my therapist and i dont want to admit that i wrote fanfic about a 30 year old white boy i discovered in quarantine when i was 15. can you imagine that conversation? id have to explain what the dream smp is.

when i watched shubble's video for the first time, i was in total disbelief. i couldnt believe that wilbur soot had done these things but i knew that the liklihood of it being anyone else was pretty low. i chose to hope that the story was not about him, and that if it was that he was a reformed abuser who had reorganized his value system and respected his partners now. i had a lot expectations. then he released his statement and i was horrified. i was disappointed and kind of in denial. his statement was worse than anything i had prepared for as 'worst case scenario.' as time has passed my denial has mostly dulled but im ashamed and im embarassed and im badly triggered.

i kind of hysertically hoped that it was a sick prank that shubble and wilbur cooked up and would get horribly cancelled for, but its not a prank, theres no "haha sike" moment, and wilbur abused shelby.

his response undid me because i saw so much of my own abuse in the words he used.

abusers are really good at making people take a centrist "two sides to every story" stance. i dont know how to describe this to people who have never been abused, but i will do my best

most people are taught that when theres an argument between two people, both parties carry some amount of blame and if you want to resolve that issue, it's a good idea to look at your part in the dynamic. we're also taught to keep our disagreements between ourselves and to not involve other people in our drama.

these are sensible sentiments, but abusers are very good at manipulating these sentiments.

when a victim speaks up for themselves and they call someone an abuser, what they are saying is: "this person cruelly bullied me and hurt me and exerted control over me that i did not deserve or ask for or elicit."

that's a heavy accusation and it contradicts sentiments we are taught like "it takes two to tango" and "dont involve others with your relationship drama."

many abusers are charismatic people. id even say most. when you hear this accusation about someone you think is really cool, your natural instinct is to ask for their side of the story.

they will tell you some version of this:

"i am shocked and hurt that she would call me an abuser. we've been having relationship problems recently, and sometimes i lose my temper. im not proud of that. ive done a lot of things im not proud of. it's true that i did [insert played down act of violence] to her, but you wouldnt believe the horrible things she was saying to me. i lost control, and im so ashamed of myself."

this version of events makes the abuser seem reasonable, it makes the victim seem irrational and quick to blame and hysterical

from here, a lot of people will nod thoughtfully and go. "yeah. yeah. that makes sense. everyone has a unique perspective. the fact that shes attributing all the blame to him without recognizing her own flaws and contributions to the relationship while he does shows that hes the reasonable one here. hes such a chill guy. the things shes saying dont make sense at all. i probably wont say it to her face, but i think shes in the wrong."

wilbur's response hit all the beats im familiar with. it was so in line with everything my abuser used against me, and in line with what ive heard other victims say their abusers used against them, and in line with examples ive read and witnessed and had countless psychiatrists walk me through that reading it was like getting hit by a train.

the hope that i carried with me through that week was that wilbur was a reformed abuser. but reading that response gave me the gut wrenching confirmation that he wasnt.

thinking about it too much literally makes me sick and shaky in a way i havent experienced since my own abuser tracked me down the first time and gave me a beautifully wrapped gift. with my abuser, i had several years trapped with him where all the love i felt for him disappeared and was replaced by total hatred for everything he put me through. i wasnt expecting this from wilbur at all, and i feel fucking sick because this was a man i sincerely admired and looked up to a lot. i really liked wilbur soot. he released that response and this image in my head that i had of him was tainted by the memories of my abuser.

im reminded of one event several years ago where i was choked. i tried to ask for help but everyone who knew immediately reached out to him and asked for "his side of the story." i dont want to talk about what he did to me after that. all that matters is that in the end, no one believed me. everyone took his side over mine and insisted that i was lying or exaggerating or trying to get attention or trying to make him look bad. people who i loved and thought would always be there for me sent me paragraph long text messages calling me a bitch and a cunt. the person i loved the most in the world told me that i was out of line and said point blank that they were sorry, but couldnt believe me over the person who choked me. i had never felt so alone.

ive been having a rough time. i confided in a friend who is trying to escape his abusive husband, and he gently told me that this might mean i have "a type," meaning im naturally drawn to people who are abusive. after i escaped, i took a lot of solace in the fact that i was inspired so much by wilbur soot. i thought he was progressive and stood up for womens rights and was anti bigotry and all those lovely good things. this man i admired so much was the image of healthy, nonviolent, kind masculinity. finding out he isnt has made me question myself and my own judgment and it's making me wonder if the people i let in my life and the people im drawn to are people who i subconsciously know will hurt me.

as of now, its been a year and a half since i escaped my abusive family at 18 years old. i turned 20 like half a second ago. the past 18 months of my life have been devoted to looking into legal protection, getting therapy to undo nearly 2 decades worth of ptsd, trying to keep all my baggage to myself because i dont want to burden my friends anymore than i have, and holding down a steady job so that i can afford rent without having to rely on the parents of my friends to house and feed me and keep my location secret from an insane group of people who reeeeally want me to come back even tho im pretty sure one of them might """""accidentally"""" kill me one day

i feel ashamed and embarrassed by being this affected by wilbur soot. parasocial relationships are looked down upon and i feel like the perfect stereotype of a hysterical, delusional teenager / young lady finding out that her hero is "a flawed human being, just like you and me - seriously, what did you expect?!"

i already see people jumping to his defense, although i try to look away because that is also extremely triggering for me.

it is hard not to acknowledge wilbur's humanity, and i want to clarify that i do feel compassion for the amount of death threats, doxing, and isolation he is undoubtedly experiencing right now. no matter what you do, i dont believe that retributive justice or revenge is a proactive, sane response. i am sincerely worried that he will either try to kill himself as a last ditch attempt for sympathy OR that he will actually just kill himself from the public shaming. i do not want him to experience a mental health crisis and i do not want him to die, even tho he has horribly disappointed me and reminded me of so many bad things

this was kind of an insane post. im ready for it to get 1 note and then experience a horrifying amount of embarrassment as i realize that people read this and know disgusting amounts about me as a person, but i want to share my experience as someone who has been abused. i want to offer solace to people who are in the same boat and possibly reach someone who might have otherwise believed wilbur was telling the truth.

i want to end this post on a positive note, so im going to share some naive hope ive been repeating to myself for the past few days

i hope that people believe shubble. i hope she finds comfort and compassion and healing. i hope she can internalize that what happened to her was not her fault. i hope she lives a happy life surrounded by people who see her and care about her

i hope that the people close to wilbur make him confront this side of himself. i hope he fixes his abuse problem and reorganizes his values. i hope his network of people is strong enough not to abandon him entirely but to intervene and make him work on himself. i hope he stays alive and i hope that he becomes an advocate for abused women

this was cheesy and unrealistic but ive been sending my hope into the universe and trying not to shut down because i dont know what else to do and my two hours of government issued weekly ptsd therapy is already devoted to the horrible things i experienced firsthand

anyway

as far as my fanfiction goes???? i dont fucking know.

im not going to delete it. im definitely taking a break and at least stepping into a pause so i can properly reflect on what to do in the meantime. as a musician and writer and creative in general, i was inspired by many aspects of wilbur soot for years and i need a second to chill out and get a hold of myself

maybe ill complete my work. if i do ill upload the finished products in one go and probably orphan them. and maybe delete my ao3 account. god knows at this point

i am still cringing so hard at myself for making this post. it's very emotional and i try to sell myself as serious, intellectual person. maybe this post will be received great or badly or just be ignored. in any case ill be embarrassed so it doesnt really matter how anyone feels about me after this. if you took the time to read, thank you for hearing me out. and if you didnt, im glad that i got a little catharsis

[ladydevoir]

For ladybug and fallen petals:

8. What’s one way their personalities compliment one another?

14. Are they an introverted couple or an extroverted one—AKA would they prefer to go out to a party or event together or would they rather stay in?

30. What is their favorite place to kiss the other? (Cheek, hand, closed eyelid, neck, nose, etc.)

40. Who makes the other smile with almost no effort at all?

Ladybug: 8. What’s one way their personalities compliment one another? Im not sure if it counts as purrsonality, but something I have liked since the scene in V8, is how Ruby's hopefulness inspires Blake to trust in her completely. When given the choice to go with Yang, who she has deep feelings for, or staying and trusting in Ruby's plan, she chose Ruby, because she has total, unshakable trust in Ruby. So, Ruby's hope compliments Blake's trust, and vice versa.

14. Are they an introverted couple or an extroverted one—AKA would they prefer to go out to a party or event together or would they rather stay in?

Introverted, 100%. They have no problems going out with friends (since Yang, Nora and Jaune are extroverted) but if they arent around, they're staying at home, relaxing together on the sofa.

30. What is their favorite place to kiss the other? (Cheek, hand, closed eyelid, neck, nose, etc.)

Ruby loves giving Blake quick pecks on the cheek, and will try and do it as a surprise (Blake's hearing means she always knows its coming, but she likes playing along). Blake meanwhile, loves to kiss Ruby on the forehead, usually when cuddling together~

40. Who makes the other smile with almost no effort at all?

Ruby. All Blake has to do is look over at Ruby and thats enough to make Blake smile. Now for Fallen Petals: 8. What’s one way their personalities compliment one another?

Cinder's more down-to-earth purrsonality compliments Ruby's hopeful optimistic one greatly Ruby isnt dumb, she knows full well the world isnt great, she says as much at the beginning of the series. When Blake says the world isnt like a fairytale, she doesnt even try to deny it, just responding "Thats why we're here. To make things better." There's a reason people gravitate towards Ruby, and even Cinder has to admit it. But, sometimes Ruby can get lost in trying to handle too much at once, and thats where Cinder's more nuanced purrsonality comes into play, to help keep her girlfriend from drowing in a sea of non-stop responsibility.

14. Are they an introverted couple or an extroverted one—AKA would they prefer to go out to a party or event together or would they rather stay in?

Cinder isnt as introverted as Ruby is, but she has no issues staying inside. With all the struggles she's gone through in her life, being safe at home with her girlfriend puts her at ease. Their usual passtime at home is Cinder sewing new outfits (or patching up battle damage) while Ruby tinkers with her weapon(s).

30. What is their favorite place to kiss the other? (Cheek, hand, closed eyelid, neck, nose, etc.)

Once again, Ruby's fav is a quick cheek peck. Only unlike Blake, Cinder doesnt see it coming, just feeling a quick peck and when she turns just petals where Ruby was. On the occassions that Cinder is ready for it, she 100% goes for the neck with a teasing kiss of her own. She loves to see Ruby flustered, even if she doesnt plan on doing anything else.

40. Who makes the other smile with almost no effort at all?

Once again, its Ruby. There's just something about Ruby, Cinder notes, that makes people feel better, even if she hasnt done anything.

[sweetandsavageautistic]

(CW: Exhaustion rant, feeling invalidated, dysfunctional family, guilt-tripping)

I’ve been trying to stick to a schedule for a voice-acting project that I’m behind on and I’m starting to follow it; while I was editing up the part I planned to get done and send in today, my dad told me to watch the dog. I told him I was busy and he got mad at me, saying I don’t help around the house. He recognizes that the schedule I’m setting is something, but he always follows it up with “but....” I kind of feel like things I do have a tendency to fall on the back burner in favor of helping the family, but what if I put a dish in the wrong spot? What if I can’t fit something somewhere?

I’m tired of them asking me if I can do something, but having it not really be a question because there’s apparently a right answer.

I’m tired of them asking me if I want to do something and me saying no, then them asking me why not and when I answer, they get upset.

I’m tired of asking someone to go somewhere else to give me alone time to give me space for my mental health, realizing it may be a bit unreasonable, and then asking this instead:

[Photo ID: Text message in green saying “At the very least, can you stay there until about at least 10:30/10:45 or so, strongly preferably the latter? I’m not someone who can decompress quickly.

Text message in white, denoting a response from someone else, saying “Probably, but please think would you do that for me?”

Text message in green from the phone owner saying “So is that a yes or no?”

Text message in white, denoting a response from someone else, saying “I’m leaving soon but that’s mean Ill either be back at 10:30 or later.”

Text message in white, denoting a response from someone else, saying “But im upset you would ask that but no do that for me” Photo ID end]

I’m tired of confronting them about that and telling them it felt guilt-trippy only for them to turn it around and tell me that me telling them that something is for my mental health is the ultimate guilt-tripping phrase because it places the responsibility of someone’s mental health on another person.

I’m tired of someone in my family asking me how I am and my gut response being “what do you want?” because I’m so used to that being the reason they say hi to me.

I’m tired of my family seeing me as selfish for not wanting to spend time with them instead of trying to talk to me about why I feel that way.

I’m tired of my family getting upset at me for my chronic escapism instead of trying to talk to me about why it’s happening so much.

I’m tired of my twin sister micromanaging me on outings and vacations.

I’m tired of being told things like I can’t request songs like Solovey by go_a or songs from Ride the Cyclone on a song request sheet at a wedding because apparently I’m only supposed to request “basic wedding songs.”

I’m tired of feeling like I don’t know who I am some days and instead I just borrow who I am from fictional characters to make up for what social skills classes stole from me.

I’m tired of sacrificing my sleep schedule because it’s quieter at night and no one is awake to tell me what to do.

I’m tired of feeling like I’m the only one in the house without any sense of power or control.

I’m tired of feeling so out of place at parties. 

I’m tired of feeling like the tolerated friend, the one no one wants to actually form a close bond with, just to casually talk with.

I’m tired of feeling like I need to bottle up my emotions and my anger because I’m scared of confrontation.

I’m tired of people trying to push against any boundaries I may have set.

I’m tired of relying on allowance as my only source of income: If you want me to commission some writing, this exists. Please help me; I’m tired of relying solely on my parents for money: https://www.fiverr.com/lydialuna?up_rollout=true

I’m tired of feeling like every little mistake is going to make them upset and make them cut my allowance again.

I’m just.....tired....

[male2mutt]

elise’s oc question was so sick so im going to follow suit & ask for all the NON-prime numbers. for Phive. please 🌞🗡️

for you boss man? anything 😌

phivarus "phive" ailanthus is another dnd/terrave oc and (technically) the first dnd character i played :3

1. phives biggest lie (to himself and others) is that he is exactly what his parents want him to be. he is extremely not, but not for the reasons *he* thinks

4. idk if this counts as a hobby to all but oh my gods he misses going to the church. as complicated as it makes him feel, its the only place hes ever been where anything felt like it made sense, any order to the world

6. his favorite fruit is an emelofruit custard with granola and sweet cream. emelofruit is hard to come by where hes been adventuring and so he keeps it to himself. a little precious memory he can return to, just for himself

8. oh.. pretty strict. i think he feels it for his friends, but where he grew up, hes never heard it used for anyone but family

9. while hes used to tough love, hes pathetically desperate for gentle love

10. it hasnt come up in the campaign but he loves social etiquette and fine dining

12. he loves antihumor. tell him a joke with a long set up and a complete dud of a punchline and he loses it

14. slowly. like he never really wants to

15. the biggest change would be between how he is with his friends/adventuring party and when hes around his family, but they dont rly know that yet

16. himself lmao

18. his brother, leonorin

20. his aunt who runs a relic shop in the capitol. has fond memories of when she visited as a child but otherwise hated that her work took her away from the family

21. im not sure if this is a spoiler or not.................

22. doing anything blindfolded. scares the shit out of him

24. he did no such thing and does not appreciate you accusing him of something that was probably hexes doing

25. again. etiquette. hes fighting marionettes and giant eels. put this man in a gala where he belongs

26. oh being fired or ousted would crush him

27. a cameo brooch of his own mothers likeness. its locked in a truck in his room

28. he says he wants to go home. he never wants to go home again

30. he sort of takes everything personal. he feels like his whole immediately world is his responsibility, for better or worse

32. oh he would try not to break any law, but he also isnt a fan of closed doors, so maybe unlawful entry shsjdjg

33. hes drawn swords on ppl before so

34. a firm handshake and a hug if they offer

35. drawing a sword on idinos befki lmao

36. hexe, until they grow closer. but i think its absolutely to the benefit of both of them

38. prayer. if he has to do it in front of an audience, it makes his stomach twist up

39. hmmmm. invited to feel included

40. it doesnt bother him. he has to lead by example anyway

42. he would proselytize shsjfkg

44. he already knows common, elven, and halfling, so probably dwarven or gnomish, as theyre related languages

45. jewelry

46. huge listener. he prefers to talk during lulls, but if you put him on the spot, he flubs

48. any of his siblings

49. yes, and does all the time. with little complaint

50. oh literally all of his current religious beliefs. thats on purpose

51. from summit to set, praise be solanum. ends his morning prayers with the phrase, so at least once daily

52. emotions first babey

54. FIGHT BABEY

55. his oath.

[thevampsworld96]

Overthinking

Hel lo everyone, how are you all? Hope you are all well. Here is someone short, which I hope you may tweak in the future, but this is what I have come up with. Not my. Best work. I hope you enjoy it

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

The pair of you were in the shared bedroom. You was infrokt of the mirror where Brad was on the bed thinking what to wear.

You had plans tonight, so you were getting ready for a party thar you both have been invited to. You spent the whole stressing about what to wear, what kind and colour dress to wear, what makeup look you were going to do and lastly how would you do hair all these thoughts were rushing through your head.

At 7 p.m., you decided to finish work. You wanted to finish early, but you had a load to get done. You then reached a point where you needed to stop and start to get ready. You then went for a shower as your hair was a mess, so a wash was needed.

During the duration of the shower, you heard the front door opening, and you know who it was it was, of course, Brad, your boyfriend.

Once you were done with the shower, you greeted Brad he gave you a short kiss on your temple and then made his way to shower as he was busy running around in the studio.

Eventually, you decided what your makeup look you wanted to do. You're not a pro, but that didn't bother you. Your best was good enough. After a good 30 minutes, you finished doing your makeup, making sure that everyone was perfect, no smudging, and of course, you had to make sure that you were happy with it.

You wanted someone else's opinion, someone who is very close to you and gives an honest opinion when you really needed it.

"Hey love?"

You called out softy. Brad was on the other side of the room thinking what shirt to wear. He just came out of the shower and opened his wardrobe, and he was humming to himself until you grabbed his attention, and he turned towards you.

"Hmm yes sweetheart"

He replied back while drying his messy brown washed hair he then pushed his hair back.

"Does my makeup look alright? I don't want to look like a bloody clown"

You looked worried as you asked the question, thinking about the response you waited for anxiously.

"Yeah, actually, you look like a clown baby"

He says, he's words offended you as you took it seriously, but then he smiled.

"Are you serious? I have to do the whole thimg again oh for fuck sake"

You said to him while turning back to face your mirror once more.

"Oh baby, I'm only joking. Why are you taking it so seriously. You, my gorgeous sexy lady, are the beautiful lady I ever met, I honestly love everything about you, my love"

He says to you while hugging you from hebind, both of you staring at the mirror as he left short kisses on your sweet, soft cheeks.

"Do you really mean that, or are you joking again Brad"?

You asked, jokingly

"I mean it this time, you are the beautiful gorgeous the most sexy woman I ever met. I fall in love with you every single day, Y/N. I know im repeating myself, but I want you to know that you are my love"

He made you feel that you were beautiful. He never really told you these words, but tonight, he really wanted you to know how gorgeous you really were, and he made sure of that.

"I don't feel it at times. I don't like anything about myself, don't feel attractive. You're better off with someone who is more pretty than me"

You said to him, nearly crying. Tears started to roll down your face. You didn't want to look at your own reflection as it made you feel sick as you looked. He moved your hair out of your face and pulled you close towards his body, lips glued and bdh glued together. It was his eas of reminding you how much you loved you and how gorgeous you were in his eyes.

The kiss got deeper and deeper as your bodies were glued together. Hands glided down your back he then lifted you up from the chair that you were sitting on and then pinned you to the wall, the kissing getting deeper and deeper he made you feel so good.

"I love you," he whispered to you in between kisses and bites down your neck.

"Say it again but with more feeling" you demanded you needed to hear it again.

"I fucking love you, I need you, I want you more than anything and anyone oh baby I fucking need you"

He said to you. You moaned as the words that he spoke and the pleasure that he was giving you.

Eventually, you calmed down. You shouldn't be smiling as he made you feel so good you were now ready to leave. Brad couldn't stop staring at the backless black dress that you were wearing it drove him crazy as to how sexy you looked to him.

Brad wore a black tux, hair brushed to one side to you he always looked hot no matter what he wore. Once you arrived at the party, you both linked hands and started to mingle with everyone, and the night commenced...

[zenlesszonezero]

As the conspiracy reaches its finale, the Void Hunter joins the fight.

Uncover the Conspiracy in Zenless Zone Zero's All-New Version "A Storm of Falling Stars", S-Rank Agent Hoshimi Miyabi is here! With S-Rank Agent Asaba Harumasa Limited-Time Giveaway! Pre-register to obtain additional rewards.

[lemon-sugarcoats-nothing]

🐝vent

My night was awful. It started out Okay; i was at my grandma's apartment to see my dad and we played some games. Came home to mom's car not being in it's spot. My brothers and I assume she went to go run an errand, so we go inside, find her boyfriend, and unwind from being out all day. I was dealing with friend drama at that point too.

Half an hour later my mom calls me and tells me what to make for dinner, because she's out at a local "Social club" (Bar, but members only) with a friend. I think, "Great, maybe she wont drink though. She's been going sometimes and only having one".

7:30 passes. At 8 my brother asks me when we should make dinner, neither of us are hungry so we postpone.

8:30 passes, we make dinner because it's getting late. While we're making the food, friend drama dies off and they start joking around in the gc -all good and at that point i was ready to have a relaxing end of the evening.

9:30 passes. My friend moves a virtual birthday party for an acquaintance up half an hour (10) so i get started doing dishes. While im getting ready to do them, i start hearing noises and voices in the "back room" (small room at the back of the house that has the back back door, connected to the kitchen through another door) but no one's coming in. I cant tell if they're crying, laughing or just talking, but someone kept leaning on the door. I waited.

9:45 my mom opens the door and stumbles in; i immediately notice she. is. drunk. Her face is flushed, she was having trouble walking in the door, and she was slurring her words. I dont remember what the first thing she said was, but shortly after her friend also walks in. Her friend was tall (pretty) and significantly less drunk, i dont even know if she was tipsy. But it was a bit of a relief she was here too. My mom went upstairs -struggling- her friend followed a minute after. They came back down after my mom gave her a tour of the house, and then they went to the backroom to talk.

So far, so good right?

I was still uncomfortable so i finish dishes and other night-time responsibilities (Feeding the rabbits and refilling their water), then take my computer and phone to my room to camp out till morning (and for the birthday call).

Sometime during beginning of the call (10:15ish?) i start to hear arguing downstairs. Now, my room is above the kitchen, i have a "back room" to my room and i can usually hear when people are arguing in that room, from p much anywhere in my room. Sound carries. I couldnt make out everything they were saying, but it was b a d , and at one point my mom came inside the house shouting, and up the stairs shouting, and slammed doors so hard it shook the walls of my room, "[friend's name] Fuck you, [boyfriend's name] Fuck you. FUCK ALL OF YOU". My friends on call all heard it.

So im trying not to have a panic attack while getting a link for everyone to watch the movie Birthday boy picked out, and while we watch the movie the argument is still going but downstairs or in mom's room i dont remember. I had one earmuff off on my headphones so i can listen if she starts coming to my room for an argument, i pulled up an audio recording app just in case, because at this point I'm scared of a repeat of 21st of last month.

At some point it dies down, my mom left briefly, came back and was still pissed off but not slamming doors, just muttering things i didnt make out. She never came to my room because i wasnt supposed to have my computer in my room past 11 (it died at 11:20 anyway, in the middle of the movie, sad) nor am i supposed to have my phone there ever (she never notices, im about to be 18 anyway, my mom stopped caring with my older brother when he turned 18).

I stayed in my room the whole night, door closed. I dont close my door unless im doing....things, or unless im scared of what's on the outside of my room. But this causes problems in the summer and winter because my room isnt temperature controlled; the backroom to my room is unfinished, theres a crack in the side wall and a big gap in the door going to it. Heating doesnt go to my room, so closing the door = closing out all the nice warm air. I was cold.

I also was supposed to clean the bathroom last night. I was going to do it after dishes and before going to the virtual party, but my brother got shouted at for opening the back room door while my mom was in it (He was trying to take out the trash), and i didnt want to have to deal with her drunk ass while asking if anyone needed to use the restroom before it gets taken over for 30 mins to get cleaned.

So yeah i had a bad night. Im exhausted, i was exhausted before the shit with my mom happened, Im exhausted after having a small panic attack, Im exhausted from trying to figure out what room my mom was in, I'm exhausted from holding my pee all night because i was scared i'd run into her, Im fucking. exhausted.

[folkdances]

okay im locking merilance and roscobell in a room for 24 hours. if they can survive without insulting and/or killing each other then they win any prize of their choosing. at the 12 hour mark i introduce valerie to keep things fun. how does this play out

oh my god ok so for convenience's sake we are going to say this starts and ends at 8:00 am and this is how the day will break down:

8:00-9:00 - this is the period of time where if you get a new pet you have to let it get accustomed to the environment so they mostly just hang i think .. roscobell takes stock of the apartment and merilance alternates between sitting badly on the couch and bothering roscobell.

9:00-11:00 - things start getting funky. by this point merilance is definitely thinking about all the ways this endeavor is wasting her time and she's starting to get moody about it. roscobell has found a 2000 piece double-sided puzzle and has quietly spent the morning working on it.

11:00-12:00 - conversation time. they've both gotten bored enough that they can actually cancel out all of their layers of complexes and actually chit-chat with each other. 9/10 mostly pleasant.

12:00-1:00 - lunch time! there is a brief spat about which microwave lunch to prepare because merilance wants frozen pizza and roscobell wants frozen macaroni. in the end they put the macaroni on top of the pizza as a compromise.

1:00-1:30 - someone has to do the dishes and no one wants to take responsibility for it. this is where the seeds of discontent are planted.

1:30-2:30 - some sort of argument happens directly after the dishes have been cleaned and they have to both part ways for a half hour so they don't kill each other.

2:30-7:00 - they realize at mostly the same time that now they're lonely and bored so they get back together and the rest of this time period spends in largely amicable silence with only a few brief moments of terror (merilance wants to try her knife throwing skills; roscobell wants to see if she can knock the knives out of mid-air by growing lily of the vallies but Big. this constitutes the most life-threatening incident)

7:00-8:00 - really awkward time period of realizing they are actually chilling and enjoying each other's company; they both immediately put their layers of complexes and repression back on and spend the next hour much the same way they spent the second hour. roscobell breaks the puzzle and restarts it from the opposite side while merilance looks out the window mentally reciting the lyrics to high hopes by panic at the disco in-tune and backwards as a mental endurance test

8:00 - A NEW OPPONENT ENTERS THE RING - VALERIE WISHES TO CHALLENGE! well first they would have a strange awkward late dinner during which merilance is trying very hard to be polite and valerie is trying very hard to say something that'll make her do something funny. i'm placing this either shortly after or during the exile arc.

8:00-12:00 - things are not looking very good. valerie has gotten merilance and roscobell both to make facebook accounts and has now introduced them to the concept of vagueing which they will be very occupied with for a short period of time until someone says something and then everyone is mad at each other and at least one phone has been broken. there will also be at least one bitch session over what music to play in the background. we wrap up the early night hours with the decision to watch a movie.

12:00-2:00 - movies chosen by each party: roscobell wants to watch tom at the farm, merilance wants to watch the rock (1996), and valerie wants to watch zootopia. they do a dice-roll to see who wins; it is, according to the real-life dice roll i just did, valerie. merilance mistakes 'zooTOPIA' for 'zooLANDER'; valerie makes a "haha that's you" comment the second one of those jokers shows up on screen; merilance's kill switch is activated; merilance tries attacking valerie in a warrior-cat style; roscobell tries pulling them apart but in the process gets implicated in the fight; total injuries include one broken nose two black eyes and one cracked nail along with various scratches and bite marks. they have officially lost the contest 😢

some variables: if fenyan had been there, he would have made them all sit quietly and do biology-for-kids worksheets all day 10/10 very amicable everyone leaves happy. if adilene had been there, the contest would have been lost at about 9:10 am.

[dumbbitchfrommars]

so i decided im having a hermit period again. i want to work, but i need to also get my shit together. on my own.

its more rewarding, and also less shameful. i already criticise myself enough. it feels like sugarcoating when everyone is giving me the same advice i know myself already.

not that i dont appreciate it, i do. but it feels empty. i have lost my trust with the world and being by myself is the medicine to my own wounds. i think?

im pretty angry at my sisters. for some reason (mars in retrograde?) all my resentment and anger for a random list of things that were never addressed are resurfacing now. and i want to have as much space as i can get from them, because their words, presence, actions - are distractions.

im angry at everyone, apparently.

so in punishment, im pulling my energy back to nothing. i dont want to be around you. i dont want to play pretend with you. and i dont want you to know im okay, because im not, and your partly responsible...

people are selfish. i understand why she took her life... she was going through the worst of life and no one even bothered to check up on her. and now everyones crying and angry, but i understand she did what felt right by her. what she felt would free her. it was to teach us to be better people. because no one is truly good. and we failed her.

i need to update my moodboard today. no more of that relationship bullshit. im leaving that dream in the dust - that can be for my 30's. right now im investing in myself and my mental health and my physical protection. i have been sick for a year straight because of me putting everyone else before me. im done with drinking, and partying, and being out of my body. distractions and hedonism. im done. i outgrew it and i say it and yet i still get pulled back by distractions.

what is truly going to make me happy? what do i want from life?

i want to work. i want stability, i want knowledge, and experiences. i want to learn i want to understand. i want power in the form of knowledge. i want art and beauty - but the kind that resonates with ME. and i want to do it independently, so at the end of the day i can congratulate me and only me.

anyway onto the next one cause ive got some anger to let out

[kansasjean]

times like these im forced to reckon with weird shit alone but im thinking back on something that happened with my ex. prior to us dating he had this friend who was the cute flavor of beautiful and skinny (my worst nightmare) and they would get drunk and watch anime together (two things I couldn't do because I have GERD + I only watch girl animes). the night we first admitted our feelings for each other he literally ditched me to go hang out with her and her situationship (?). anyway we started dating and she got really weird to me. she already didn't like me despite the fact I was one of the few women defending her from the misogynistic ass loser men she chose to be friends with but whatever. we weren't friends by any stretch of the word so I get it she had no loyalty because I chose to have morals.

so one night me and the ex were making on each other and she calls him at 1 am. im like what the fuck? and I got up out of that bed so quick. he ignores it but I was peeved. so later he texts her to figure out wtf the phone call was about. they text back and forth with immediate responses for a few minutes. finally she was like heyyy omg im having a party and I want you to come <3333. unfortunately for him, I was with him so he had to text back "can Kansas come?" and I shit u not. no response for hours. like girl. I was PISSED. especially because she had invited the entire floor of film majors and excluded me.

so later I was forcing my ex to watch The Simpsons with me in the common area big ass tv. this woman comes out. im like >:(. but she starts talking to him while eating a whole loaf of wonder bread like some fetish artists wet dream. she's like so are... you guys going to come. and I was like no. we're friggin busy. anyway so awkward plussss I forgot that earlier in the week she made fun of my outfit in front of my ex and he didn't say shit. it was a baller ass outfit too. I was serving whimsigoth. so whatever I hated her.

the part where shit gets really weird is he ends up blocking her without asking me. NOW BEFORE THE INSTAGRAM REELS COMMENTERS GET ME let me explain why I didn't like this. multiple times I asked him to just be honest about their relationship and what had happened between them. im fully supportive of cross-gender friendships, and although I sound really snarky and mad in this rant, at the time I was very supportive of him continuing their friendship as long as she stopped being flirty. all he ever told me was "I informed her we were dating now." and that was supposed to make everything better. and for a month or so I thought it did. we had had no new problems. but then all of a fucking sudden you HAVE to block her?

I will admit I had bad-mouthed her to people for a really long time over the sneaky shit she did when she knew ex and I were together. ive learned my lesson but at the same time, if you are openly flirting with people in relationships, you deserve to get what's coming to you. but I still think I coulda taken a fuckin Xanax about it idk. I blame my own actions and choices but the BPD def contributed,,,,,,,,, not an excuse but I think we gotta call a spade a spade and then try to beat that spade to death in therapy

anyway one time I got in an argument with my ex because he was shitting on her for her personality and like yeah I defended her because I don't know and I don't care. I was like if she's such a horrible, crazy person why were you friends with her? anyway he said it was because he was only friends with women he found hot LOL and then admitted to thinking she was hot LOL and that the only reason he wasn't with her is because "she was crazy" LOL

ugh I just spent 30 minutes writing this and then had dinner and now I don't wanna think about this anymore because it makes me feel suicidal like I wanna rip all the veins out of my fucking wrists fuck my life and the worst part is ill never find someone willing to tolerate me ever again

[tojisun]

Hiii could you please do a Sukuna x Gojo x Toji fluff? The plot will be up to you but please make it fluff i had too much angst for today TwT And please only make them love reader only and they're like just sharing her XD Anyways thats itt, thank youuu

HII! im so sorry it took so long, but ahhh i hope you’ll like this! <333 i enjoyed writing this fr!

fic exists in a ‘no curse/curse user’ au!

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i. The meetup 

Satoru checked himself in the mirror, brushing at his white fringe before shooting his reflection a smile. Muffled laughter peels off behind him, but Satoru ignores his bastard of a best friend to keep on studying himself. So what if he wants to show off to your other boyfriends to let them know that he is the best of them? Frankly, Satoru thinks that that’s a perfectly normal reaction, considering that he was the last one to date you.

“Ya think the other men just gon’ let a twink outdo them?” Suguru asks, legs propped up on Satoru’s headboard, looking at him with bored eyes as he chews on his packet of Hello Panda. How he can do that while laying upside down is beyond Satoru.

He rolls his eyes at Suguru. “You think any pretty boys are twinks, Sugu.” He flashes him a grin. “Which means you think that I am a pretty boy.”

Suguru scrunches his nose before chucking a biscuit at him. Satoru manages to catch it with his mouth, anyway. “Pretty annoying, is what you are.”

“Fuck you, Sugu. Fuck you.”

“No thanks.”

⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯

His jaw drops at the sight of two achingly familiar men. Similarly, the others let out a drawn out groan upon seeing him which, rude, but also understandable.

“Y’ve got to be kiddin’ me,” Toji murmurs, crossing beefy arms and glaring sharp emerald eyes at Satoru. You poke at Toji’s bicep in response, quietly tutting, but Toji just huffs like a brat.

“Sh’ve known at this point,” Sukuna, who gained more tattoos within the one-year duration that Satoru has not seen him, grouches. He juts out a thumb, pointing at Toji. “At least you’re not like him, I guess.” He shoots a cheeky grin your way, and you giggle, far more amused with the situation. 

Satoru almost lovingly sighs and melts at the sound of it.

Toji rolls his eyes at the remark as he wraps an arm around your shoulder, pulling you flushed to his side. This time, Satoru laughs out loud, giddy and incredulous at the same time. 

“Holy shit,” he says, wiping away the phantom tear of laughter from his eyes. “Who knew, huh? Baby’s got a type and we can’t really blame her.” He winks at you as he says this, before laughing loudly again when you flipped him off.

“Fuck you,” you say, pouting. 

“Please do,” he replies, revelling at the way you quickly flushed, before ducking away to hide behind Toji’s bigger frame.

Fuck. That’s actually so cute.

➽───────────────❥

ii.The Groupchat (“BAN SATORU PERMANENTLY”)

(beloved = y/n ; child support = toji ; emolord = sukuna ; disney princess = satoru)

⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯

Beloved (6:22 AM)

who invented mornings

and why m i not wKing up cuddled to any one kf u

Child Support (6:27 AM)

im omw

Beloved (6:30 AM)

!!!!!!

💗💗💞💕💕💓💖💖💗💗💞💗💞💗💞

Disney Princess (7:41 AM)

@god when will it be my turn :(

emolord (7:46 AM)

Read ✓

Disney Princess (7:47 AM)

i fucking hate you sm 

⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯

Child Support (12:09 PM)

whose car we using to go to shokos party?

Disney Princess (12:10 PM)

suguru the bastard busted mine so i cant really offer

emolord (12:10 PM)

“suguru” sure

Disney Princess (12:11 PM)

theres no photographic evidence of the ,,, incident so yea me n the homies are blaming suguru

Child Support (12:12 PM)

no one needs photographic evidence for us to know you’re a shit driver

Beloved (12:12 PM)

^ 

i love you toru but the first time u drove me around, i had to buy tylenol from the gas station 

Disney Princess (12:14 PM)

i love you too baby 🥹💘💘

Child Support (12:14 PM)

he really just ignored everything else from that message

emolord (12:15 PM)

he has selective reading too lmfaoo 💀 

Beloved (12:16 PM)

SHEJWJDJ CRYINGF

ok but @Child Support we can use my car <33

Disney Princess (12:17 PM)

i call shotgun!

Child Support (12:18 PM)

dont you live the closest to shoko?

we literally would pick you up last

Disney Princess (12:19 PM)

idc

i ☝️ call 📞 shotgun 🔫

Beloved (12:19 PM)

toru omfg 😭💗

⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯

Disney Princess (3:01 AM)

im really so fucking hot

why cant yall get on my level

emolord (3:03 AM)

attached.img

Beloved (3:03 AM)

JESUS CRHISF SUKUNA

IM PISSINF MY PANTS HELP

Disney Princess (3:04 AM)

🍹😋.

Beloved (3:04 AM)

😟.

| Child Support banned Disney Princess for 24 hours |

➽───────────────❥

iii. The Carnival Date

A new round of excited squealing erupts from your throat as Sukuna wins you another plushie. The worker grumbles but effectively shuts up at seeing three mutual glares directed at him, your boyfriends’ menacing looks sewing his lips shut as he silently hands you the jumbo sized unicorn plush. 

You squeeze the plush to your chest, peering up at your boyfriends through your lashes with a wide smile. They smile back, their hands full of plush toys that they all won for you from the other tents, happy to spoil you.

“Thank you so, so much!” You say, giving them another cheerful smile.

Sukuna ruffles your hair as Toji passes you your cup of strawberry soda. You hum in delight, sipping softly, and you are so sure that Satoru just cooed but when you turn to him, his expression is schooled back into his usual small smile so you just narrow your eyes at him in suspicion.

“Anythin’ else you want to play, love?” Sukuna asks, pulling you to his chest and resting his chin on the crown of your head. 

You hum, biting your straw as you glance around the packed carnival to look for what else to do. You all had ridden the exciting rides a while back, although, surprisingly, Sukuna refused some of them.

(“I’m too good for those,” he said and you pretended that you cannot see the way he is tightly gripping your jacket in fear. 

“Okay, baby,” you told him, pulling him down to press a kiss on his cheek. “See you in a few minutes.”

He nodded, eyes crinkling as he smiled. “Have fun f’r me, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you whispered, feeling weak to the knees at the pure adoration in his eyes.)

But the lineups are all long now, and you don’t have any more energy to wait. You pout.

Toji chuckles at seeing it. 

“C’mon baby, let’s look around. Who knows, maybe there are more tents we can play in.” He steps forward to tuck a lock of your hair behind your ear before cupping your cheek delicately. “Bet I can win more against these assholes.”

“Excuse me?” Satoru gasps beside you.

“You’re the asshole,” Sukuna adds, reaching out to flick Toji’s forehead. Toji smacks Sukuna’s shoulder in retaliation.

➽───────────────❥

iv. Gentle Sunsets 

— “I love you,” Toji says as he softly sits you on the marble countertops and steps in between your legs. You smile just as tenderly, pulling him close. He comes easily, melting into your embrace, and burrowing his face on the crook of your neck. 

— “I love you,” Sukuna whispers as he pulls you on his lap, sliding his warm palms underneath your shirt and rubbing from the base of your neck to the small of your back lightly. You hum, nuzzling at his jaw, relaxed and putty. 

— “I love you,” Satoru utters as he leads you to the bed where he tucks you two under the duvet cover, his legs tangling with yours. He lays your head on his arm, breath hitching when you snuggle closer. 

— “I love you,” you sing, standing up on your tippy toes to press kisses from his cheeks to his nose, chuckling when it makes his nose scrunch. Your smile grows when he kisses you just as much. 

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