#im not forcing you to read the previous posts about them but if ever you wanted more context you can check the tag 👍👍

[aqqleshiqqing-archive]

💬 can I be silly and ask for Blue. Like I know you said they're best friends but gotta know more about Jaide's thoughts (/lh

OHHH IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED, THIS IS ACTUALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE IMPORTANT ASPECTS ABT THE COLOR PALLET TRIO

i have a couple of old loreposts under that tag (#color pallet trio) about the trio's development but I'll focus more on blue and jaide here.

jaide was once a neighbor to both blue and red, they were all friends before red and blue set off to be actual trainers - jaide wasn't interested at the time. they were the usual neighborhood best friends doing whatever dumb things together.

between jaide and blue, blue loved to flaunt his victories to jaide, and she was always there to cheer and celebrate about it because... they were friends! though this was a bit on the negative side for red, who had a little puppy crush on jaide - it was upsetting at the time for red. we all know how self centered blue was as a kid.

when red became champion but fled to mt. silver (this is explained better in other posts), blue was assigned to be viridian's gym leader which upsetted him, but it also made him learn to be more humble about his victories. he and jaide still continued to be in contact, however red was out of the picture for now. blue would come back to jaide and hang out with her again. they become closer, her sweet and friendly personality starts to rub off of blue and he becomes less bitchy and mean because of her. (which explains his friendly yet competitive demeanor in sun and moon). she also kind of. corrects his asshole behavior sometimes KAJSSJAKSKA

his pokemon also inspired jaide to learn more about pokemon in general, she wasn't much of a battling person but she came to appreciate the difference unique details about each creature which inspired her to be a catcher - to appreciate the colorful variety of pokemon. they would soon lose contact as jaide moves to johto but still maintained interaction through devices and e-mailing each other.

jaide became a remarkable catcher, and she was reccomended to professor oak under blue's suggestion which brought them together again as adults. at that same time, blue, with a more mature and composed personality - wants to bring back the whole gang together so he tries to reach out to red and asks for him to come back, since he genuinely actually missed what they had together as a trio.

while jaide did not directly meet red, blue mentions that red would come back which made her really happy. they'd plan to meet up together but jaide was quite the busy person, as she's already been to several regions for her catching profession and would still have her schedule full for a hang out session.

and then alola happened 💥💥💥💥

[nnon0]

JJH fic recs #3

previous fic recs : 1. 2.

note: hey yall ik it’s been a while ive been busy with life and truth be told, it’s been getting pretty hard to find good fics to recommend cuz i feel like ive read them all 😭😭😭 anyway jaehyun’s SOLO REVIVED ME SO IM BACK 😜 but im prob just gonna keep updating and adding to this post with fics and not make anymore posts so everytime yall come back there’s gonna be new fics AND PLS RECOMMEND SOME FICS AS WELL

(🫀) - personal faves

(🫀) TRY AGAIN @kaleidohscopic

WC:32.4k

exes to lovers, coworkers! au

if you could have it your way, you'd never have to see, hear, or even think about jeong jaehyun ever again. a fortuitous blind date, and that same dimpled smile after all those years, is somehow enough to make you reconsider. maybe he was always meant to be by your side.

summer of seven years @lebrookestore

WC:30k

summer!au writer!jaehyun

Coming back home was hard for both you and Jaehyun, but when you realize both of you are back in the same place again, feelings from three years ago rise to the surface, and you start to realize that the things you thought you knew when you were younger never quite played out.

(🫀)His love, Her force @anashins

WC:28k

Undercover detective!jaehyun x ballerina!reader , fake marriage au, slow burn

Fleeing from a ruthless stalker, you are forced to participate in a witness protection program at the other side of the world, pretending to be the wife of a taciturn undercover detective from now on. Despite all differences, you slowly start to settle with your new life as a married couple - until your newfound happiness is stripped away from you all over again.

(🫀) BAD HABITS @jaedore

WC:21k

Boxer!jaehyun

You were never really good at saying ‘no’ to people, always a people pleaser, listening to your teachers, parents, to authority. Jung Jaehyun is a professional boxer attempting to make it to the top with the help of your father, who used to be a well known boxer. Being in a friends with benefits relationship with Jaehyun would be the last thing you’d find yourself in-you’re always focused on finishing college, studying hard, and sticking to yourself. With you pushing your feelings down for him and him focused on other things, you’re already in too deep to pull out of this complication. When will it be too much? When is your breaking point?

(🫀) cynosure - a focal point of admiration @drquinzelharleen

WC:20.4k

surgeon!jaehyun , enemies-to-lovers

When the young hot shot doctor, Jung Jaehyun, has been solicited to your hospital. He is to become the new Chief of Surgery. Your excitement and curiosity are soon to be washed away by his cocky disposition.

no guidance @yutaholic

WC:20k

knocked up, smut, pregnancy au

You insist on keeping things casual with Jaehyun, even though he wants something more serious, but then you miss a period and in an instant, your lives are turned completely upside down.

happy now? @hwaflms

wc: 19.9k

ex!jaehyun, fake dating au

your family has been pressuring you for months to bring your boyfriend, jaehyun, over for dinner, and you think it’s really sweet that they like him so much. the only problem is that your “boyfriend” jaehyun, hates you.

(🫀) ordinary people @ppangjae

WC: 18.3k

friends-to-lovers, fake dating!au, ceo!jaehyun

Jaehyun’s parents are coming home for Christmas and he may have made the biggest mistake of telling them he has a ‘girlfriend’. Insert you, his best friend, who so happens to be the only girl he knows and trusts. You, on the other hand, would have never expected Jaehyun to show up at your door at two in the morning with nothing but a proposition; to be his fake girlfriend. And man, are you in big trouble.

(🫀)ethereal @celestialmark

WC: 16.7k

fluff, life lessons

(note: shed a tear reading this it was so beautiful i highly highly recommend)

Jaehyun was indeed way more than his good looks. Jaehyun was gentle, honest and sincere, you felt it all in the way he smiled, the way he talked and in the way he kissed you. He was the living definition of ethereal, and his beauty shone the most on the inside

(🫀)SUN&MOON @ppangjae

WC:14.6k

enemies-to-lovers, fake dating

Asking Jeong Jaehyun to accompany you to your family’s 1-week Christmas vacation as your boyfriend has its consequences. One can surely get through 1 week of pretending to be in love with an enemy, right?

(🫀) chasing stars, losing you @prodbymaui

WC: 14k

exes to lovers, ceo!jaehyun x model!reader

When your relationship got announced, it made noises louder that anyone could've imagined. Of course it will, a pair containing a supermodel and a CEO of one of the most successful enterprise that made a name in both the fashion and business industry. But soon enough, everyone witnessed how the perfect relationship they had been envying crumbled down into tiny pieces until there's nothing left to pick up.

(🫀) if we were a movie @sehunniepotwrites

WC:14k

childhood friends to lovers!au , college au , theatre/drama au

For someone who was always the understudy and never the lead, scoring this role was huge for you. All you had to do was pretend to be in love with your best friend. No big deal, right? Wrong. It was the biggest deal because, for the past four years, you had been hiding your feelings for Jung Jaehyun.

If this were a movie, he would be your perfect match and the story would end happily with the credits rolling to a perfectly timed soundtrack. Too bad this wasn’t a movie— this was real life and life came with complications.

oops, baby (i love you) @prodbymaui

WC:12.5k+

modern royalty au, arranged marriage

you had been living your life as a rebellious and controversial crown princess, now you must face the consequence of purifying your tainted image; marrying the gentle and infamous crown prince of South Korea.

deadly kiss @slightlymore

WC: 12k+

chief architect jaehyun x chief engineer fem reader

office au, enemies? to lovers, dom x dom and trying to force each other to sub, romance, smut, fluff

in your court @boymeetsweevil

WC:10.8k

basketball player!jaehyun , bff!haechan

Two idiots in love, oc is scary when mad, hyuck is crafty always, jae is a bit intense but he’s just trying his best, gratuitous descriptions of dimples, a kiss!!! sfw!

coparenting @eleganzadellarosa

wc: 10.3k

angst, fluff smut

babydaddy!Jaehyun x fem!reader

(🫀)SEVEN LETTERS @ppangjae

WC: 10.1k+

soulmate!au , childhood friends-to-lovers , slight fake dating

On a camping trip, you find a message in a bottle that’s been washed up the shore, only to find out that it’s a message from you in the future. Your message tells you three things:

1. You must make Jeong Jaehyun fall in love with you because,

2. He’s your soulmate and

3. Because of your future self’s mistake, he ended up falling in love with someone else.

the wedding @jae-canikeepyou

WC:9.5k

rivals!jaehyun fluff-crackish

jeong jaehyun’s your long-time friend, and as far as one could remember, every single and little thing you both do ends to a competition; it turned into a permanent kind of relationship you have for over a decade now. no one expects that it would ever change, not until a childhood friend of yours from high school decides to make you two as his singers for his upcoming wedding.

one more time @moondustis

WC:9.4k

smut, friends to lovers

Maybe this right here is a story about growing up and finding yourself, or about finding love and being vulnerable. But it definitely is a story about friendship, skating, pancakes and Jung Jaehyun learning how to deal with his feelings.

(🫀) rose bud @hazyhae

WC:9.2k

stoner!fuckboy!jaehyun , smut

friday nights are party nights, and it's here that your feet always seem to lead you to your favorite stoner. you know the sweet words that leave jaehyun's mouth don't belong just to you, but something about him leaves you wanting more.

baby @moonctzeny

wc:9.1k

college au, fake dating!au

When Yuta breaks your heart for the millionth time, you meet Jaehyun, freshly broken up and looking for revenge. You decide to start fake dating to get back on your exes, but your plan takes an unexpected turn. You fall in love.”

when fratboy falls @gyeomsweetgyeom

WC: 8.9k

fratboy!jaehyun x tutor!reader

Jaehyun is a fratboy with a notorious reputation for being a playboy, you have never heard of him. surely, he can use tutoring as an excuse to get close to you, right?

hello again, my sunshine @alluringjae

WC:8.5k

high school reunion!au, business lawyer!jaehyun, fashion designer!reader, high school best friends to strangers to lovers!au

there’s no more running away when you’re thriving in the fashion industry, yet it’s exactly what you want to do when you encounter your first love after a decade in your high school reunion.

(🫀) The lies of apollo @jaevie

WC:8k

Spy!jaehyun x spy!reader , forbidden love , smut , enemies to lovers

As powerful corporations seek to sun privatization, two spies find themselves falling in love and discovering the wonders of physical affection.

Head over Broomsticks @sehunniepotwrites

WC: 3.5k

Hogwarts!au Sports!au Quidditch!au Gryffindor!jaehyun

When your friends are tired of watching you and your crush go around in circles, they take matters into their own hands. Putting their Advanced Potions skills to the test, Donghyuck and Chenle conjure up a powerful truth serum and slip it in your drink right before a Quidditch game, which leads to a few inappropriate comments about No. 77, Jeong Jaehyun, of Gryffindor’s Quidditch team. This would’ve been fine if you were just a regular spectator but you are much more than that--you’re the Announcer and everyone is subjected to hear your unfiltered thoughts. Just great.

SERIES

(🫀) when icarus falls @baobaojng

college athlete!au , crush!au

(note: this series genuinely brought me to tears btw I HIGHLY RECOMMEND )

some tragic story of you sharing one class with your long time college crush jaehyun who never notices you until he accidentally reads your work and he gets curious— oh, and he uses lame excuses to get to talk to you.

[coralinnii]

Hi! I just wanna say I love your villain/ness au 😍 especially leonas part thank you for giving me this story as I was finding stories like this💕💕so I was wondering can I request about the tweel? Their my most favorite in twisted wonderland 🙏 it will be my outmost joy to see you write them!

and sorry if im wrong in writing this request because this is actually my first time writing a request 😅 so thank you for the understanding 😁

Being Reincarnated into a New World as the Bad Guy feat: Jade genre: drama note: set in the same universe as previous works (Azul’s ver specifically), no pronouns were used, villain/ess!reader is not a merfolk, roughly 2k word count 

series masterlist

I know there's someone missing but Jade's portion got longer than I expected so I cutting it into separate posts. Floyd's part will be released soon so in the meantime, enjoy as we welcome the fourth vice-housewarden to this surprisingly popular AU.

Sorry 3aemidnight, that this is slightly subverted from the request but Floyd's part has that aspect more played into

You’re screwed. Absolutely screwed. Why did you end up in this situation?? You didn’t even read the webtoon! Your classmate was gushing over a popular webtoon and like a good friend, you lent an ear to her excited ramblings. Her favorite characters seem to be a pair of devilish merfolk brothers. It was that rambling that helped you realize where you were because you didn’t bother remembering the main cast but you couldn’t forget the name “Jade Leech” nor his partner, you. 

Or at least the character you possessed that your classmate kept wishing she could be. The lucky duck that became Jade’s betrothed but you couldn’t really agree with that sentiment when she mentioned how that same partner was left behind by the Leech heir and prosecuted as an accomplice to the Leech family’s underground activities. 

“What’s so great about the hopeless love trope?!” 

Unfortunately, the proceedings for your engagement to the suave marquis heir was set. Putting a wrench into the plans now would cause too many issues to both families. Still, you were determined to leave this crazy story unscathed no matter what. 

“Let’s make a contract” were your first words to your soon-to-be partner to which he responded with a curious quirk of his eyebrow. “a prenuptial to be precise” 

“But my dear,” a shiver ran down your spine when Jade used that supposedly endearing name, a superficial one of course. “What ever could have scared you to have such worries?” 

“Because I know what you and your family are trying to do” 

Oh, you have piqued Jade’s interest now.

Your listening skills have paid off as you remembered the plot of the Leech family. The brothers were working to extend their family’s power above the waters and to have an “organized system of connections” with the help of the newly appointed count Ashengrotto. With their intelligence and charm, they wanted to monopolize the marine market from local fishing rights to overseas trading. Unfortunately, the main leads stood in their way and forced the native merfolk to flee to their home, leaving those associated with them to answer for their crimes. 

You have no interest in being caught in the crossfire but becoming an enemy to the Leech family is not a favourable situation either. So your best option was… 

“I’ll help you” 

If you’re going to be accused as an accomplice, better be the best accomplice so neither of you get caught. 

The greatest challenge for merfolk on land was the discrimination that was still prevalent, even after the human-merfolk alliance. No matter how charming Jade was, it was hard for the merman to converse with the more narrow-minded noblemen. It was why the Leech heir agreed to the engagement as your family was beloved and highly respected in the kingdom. Your character was just an oblivious, lovestruck pawn to his plans. 

“I’ll play the perfect partner, give you the backing you need, the intel you want” you stated your terms, with no room for negotiation. “But, we’re publicly in an arranged engagement only, nothing else. We only meet when necessary and once your family secure the Triton ocean trade route, we’re breaking our engagement and never to speak to each other again” 

If the Leech family weren’t caught, they would have returned to their native home anyway and controlled the trading from the safety of the ocean. Either way, Jade would have been out of your life regardless, so you should at least escape prosecution. 

You weren’t falling for his gentleman facade, and you definitely refuse to be the one on the short end of the stick in his crazy family’s schemes. 

You and Jade were locked in a silent stare down, waiting for either one of you to break the silence. You kept your mouth shut, not letting your nerves talk yourself down. It was this or nothing. 

Your gamble paid off. Jade chuckled with a slight peek of his sharp teeth and extended his hand out, piercing your figure with a pair devilish eyes. 

“If that is what my dear wishes, how can I decline?” 

So sealed your deal with the devil your future ex-fiancé 

Some time passed since your agreement, you joined a soirée your family was invited to. As a newly engaged couple, it was expected for you to bring Jade to which he was happy to escort his precious person (you hid your scoff). True to your word, you agree to chat with some of the daughters and wives of certain families for certain intel that Jade needed. While the ladies were more tolerant of the merfolk, they held certain prejudices over them which would affect the conversation greatly should Jade attempt to speak with them. 

So off you go. 

It was surprisingly easy with the chatty ladies to gather what you needed to know. They were happy to brag about the wealth and connections their families had and the businesses they controlled. The number of employers, the unknowing dissatisfaction of their workers that went over their heads, the obvious limited knowledge over the sea routes…everything came loose from their lips and will inevitably be used against them later on. Once you mentally checked off what Jade requested you to find out, you were patiently waiting to take your leave when someone decided to steer the conversation to something else. 

“But enough about our families. How is your life as a newly betrothed, darling?” One of the wives brought the attention to you, which took you slightly by surprise. 

“Well, our families were growing close so we decided a union would be beneficial” you smiled as convincing as you could. “While we were arranged, I’m sure it will be an amiable alliance” 

“Oh, how lucky you are” one of the younger daughters congratulated as convincingly as her eyelashes were. “To be engaged to someone as distinguished and exotic as Jade Leech, your family connections must have been more impressive than I realize. I knew how enamored you were with the young heir, but to think a frumpy wallflower such as yourself managed to capture him. Good for you” 

Any semblance of tolerance you had for these women had just been thrown out the window. Even if you were detached from your host character in every sense, you felt anger building in your body from their haughty words. You quickly glanced to where Jade was and he was standing but with his signature smile and charming eyes engaging in conversation with other attendees, so you assumed he couldn’t hear from where he stood.

It’s not good to hold in your anger… so you don’t. 

“Interesting…if I’m a frumpy wallflower as you say, what would you be?” You pondered aloud with innocent tone of voice “bottom feeders?” 

Gasps and stuttering replies were let out from the flushing women, flabbergasted by your undignified words, but they haven’t heard anything yet. 

“Before my engagement, I often chatted with the current Marquis Leech and he was telling me how he was flooded by persistent engagement proposals for his heir that there wasn’t a day that a messenger wouldn’t visit the Leech residence.” 

That was a bold-faced lie about your meetings with the Marquis head but you recalled your classmate’s words of the mountains of proposals the Leech brothers would get, proving their in-universe popularity despite being discriminated against. Well, it’s not as though anyone would question your source, you were engaged to a Leech afterall.

The wives may have been confused but the younger ladies were visibly shaking as they watched you with nervous eyes, either praying you didn’t know the families that proposed or if you did, you’d keep silent over it. 

But you offer no such salvation from their humiliation 

“Out of the countless proposals, I seem to have been chosen over the ones who reached out first. In fact, some of the interested ladies are here in attendance today, such as Lady-“ 

You paused abruptly as you quickly back away as one of the single daughters reached for a drink and prepared to throw it into your face in desperation to avoid being exposed. Seems like you pushed a line too far. You closed your eyes, braced for a rude splash…

but nothing came. 

Surprised muttering and gasps compelled you to reopen your eyes but you were met with a lean chest and tall looming figure blocking you from the women. You leaned to the side and was shocked to see a large wet spot on Jade's pristine suit jacket, his back and shoulder drenched in champagne. You peeked at Jade's face as he wore his signature smile, appearing calm but you could have swore his jaw seemed more tight and strained as though he’s fighting something internally. 

Maybe you’re just reading too much into it. 

Any semblance of annoyance you thought you saw disappeared the moment the eel merman turned to face the ladies before. He placed his gloved hand over his heart and smiled as usual. 

“I believe this conversation may have gone on too long. Everyone is getting a little too tired and reckless. Perhaps we should cut the night short tonight, do you agree?” Jade proceeded to rest his hand on your shoulder, looking at you with faux concern. “Shall we take our leave, my dear?” 

Stomping down the involuntary shiver, you nodded and turned to walk away without saying goodbye to the ladies or even waited for Jade to walk with you. At least Jade had some strength to offer a bow and a smile before joining you. However, you didn't notice the way the ladies silently flinched in fear when they saw the dangerous glint in the young merman's mismatched eyes.

“I never realized you had such a fiery tongue,” Jade commented as the two of you make your way to your carriage, to which you clicked your tongue in annoyance. 

“So you were able to hear everything” you chose to change the topic. “You better not say anything to your father about what I said today. I needed to use an excuse” 

“You needn’t worry, my dear. I’m simply impressed you knew about the proposal letters.” Jade ended his words there, but you knew he was curious to know your sources, especially since it pertains to the ongoings in the Leech residence. 

“I heard some things, that’s all I’ll say” you held your tongue beyond that, your eyes relaying to Jade not to prod further, which he conceded. 

“Of course. I would never want to upset you, my dear.” Jade smiled at the slight shiver in your shoulders. 

“Alright, my turn to ask questions” you stopped in your tracks, forcing Jade to do the same, enticing his curiosity as you always seem to. Your eyes stared at the stained jacket that hung over Jade's arm, having taken it off to avoid the rest of his attire getting dirty. A sense of guilt pinched your heart as you questioned him, “Why did you save me? Sure, I’ll be slightly humiliated but I can just play the victim and ruin them further” 

Jade silently stood in his spot, as though he was seriously contemplating his previous actions. But you doubt that because Jade Leech does not do things impulsively. He’s calculating, his movements always premeditated and intentional. 

Right?

Then, the ocean-haired man slowly walked closer to you. Carefully, he reached out his gloved hand towards your cheek and wiped a small drop of champagne from your hairline. A minuscule drop must have made its way to your face without your awareness. But Jade noticed. The cold leather glided from your forehead to your ear, to which he crept closer as he leaned down and whispered to you. 

“We made a deal, my dear” his smooth voice vibrated clearly into your head and your instinctive shiver came once more from his name for you. “I plan to make good use of you and I will not permit anyone from ruining you before I’m done” 

You sealed your fate with Jade, so you must commit to the end.

[thevindicativevordan]

Hi, hope you are doing well. I am the anon who asked this question about the Maker (post/730144525324009472/im-conflicted-about-the-maker-as-a-character-on) and I wanted to know what are your thoughts on the Marvel Universe as remade by the Maker? I understand that most of it is a comentary/analogy to real life events, with technocompanies rulling the USA, the USA doing experiments in the Pacific with radiation, basically everything Midas stand for, etc. But, looking from the Maker point of view, how do you think it fits with what he wants? And what do you think he wants, in the end?

Perfect time to ask me this because after I got temp banned from the CBR Forums recently, I decided to read all of Ultimate Fantastic Four. I need to amend my earlier post regarding the Maker - he does actually feel like a believable evolution on the flaws that were always present in 1610 Reed:

Even before he became a homicidal maniac, 1610 Reed Richards was a dick. There was a mean streak and petulancy that I had forgotten about. A willingness to walk riiiiiiiight up to the moral divide that was present from the very beginning. Millar, Bendis, and Ellis all established Maker as having a darker side. Using torture against Doom was on the table, he flat out rejected the possibility that he had made a mistake, he did messed up science experiments for fun. The pieces were all there! Alas the execution sucked. I still stand by what I posted here regarding the Ultimate Doom trilogy:

Bendis' depiction of his "fall" was awful and incoherent. Under Bendis, Reed instantly becomes the type of guy willing to commit cold blooded murder against both his family and other heroes for no real reason. If Reed is pissed about the military controlling everything, why is he trying to kill Peter Parker? Shouldn't he be trying to kill Nick Fury and destroy SHIELD? That at least would make sense, Ultimate Nick Fury is a fucking awful person. Instead he murders his entire family instead of just his asshole dad because... I don't know, he's just evil now. A writer can't write someone smarter than them, and Bendis is just not the guy for tackling the world's smartest heroic mind descending into villainy. Reed's plan is dumb and paper thin.

Coldly murdering his mother and sister Enid - his sister whom he went through all the effort to save from Psycho-Man in one of the final UFF arcs! - reads even more egregiously out of character. Why did he kill those two and not just his asshole dad? No clue, Bendis never bothered to give us an explanation. Trying to kill all of SHIELD after the UFF fall apart makes perfect sense to me after reading Ultimate Power for the first time. 1610 Nick Fury is evil. Fury is a monster whom even Dick Cheney would have to kneel in awe before. Asshole deserves to die and SHIELD should be destroyed. Sending suicide bombers to murder Spider-Man and his other heroic peers on the other hand?

No Bendis, you need to actually explain WTF Maker was thinking there because that makes no sense AND it doesn't line up with his previous characterization! Maker didn't want to kill the zombie F4 despite them 1. Being undead and 2. Planning to infect and eat everyone on his Earth. He wasn't willing to kill Doom even after Ultimatum. Then suddenly off-screen he becomes the kind of guy who murders his sister who only ever looked up to and worshiped him, and his mother who tried to support him and showed him nothing but love? Terrible writing, and it makes me so mad because everything else is brilliant setup unintentional though it was.

Pages like this one floored me. You read this knowing they were not setting up Maker yet somehow it perfectly does just that. The other Baxter Building kids breaking off to form their own perfect society in a secret city tucked away from private eyes? Being sick of how they were forced to serve the military? Commitment to the idea to the point they're willing to kill the F4 and any military personnel sent after them? In-universe this, and other events like Psycho-Man's utopia, likely served as the foundation for where Maker came up with the idea of the City. Everything fits! It's a natural result of Maker having an enormous ego, having seen others make their own attempts at building utopias, tossing morality aside, and going "they failed but I'll succeed. I don't make mistakes like they do."

Begs the question OP asked: why did he make Earth 6160 into the way it is? Fantastic question especially considering that both as a hero, and during his initial fall to villainy, Maker hated the "corruption" of science into a force that only served the elite.

Yet the world of 6160 is exactly what he claimed to hate! America collapsed into a realm ruled by technocrats who abused science to enrich themselves. Freaking Midas is in the White House using cosmic energy as a power source for his war suit and the electric grid. What gives? Is it just Maker being a hypocrite? Maker offers two justifications in Ultimate Invasion. First, that he ran civilization models in the City and humanity cannot accept perfect peace. If you've ever watched the Matrix you know how that argument goes. We aren't built to live in paradise. Our human natures are too fallible, when offered the option we reject it. Given Maker's god complex it does suit him that he invokes the Biblical explanation for why evil exists - human nature demands it.

However, there's a second justification. Maker treats Earth 6160 as his playground, his laboratory. He's the Emperor of the World, and with that comes those who would covet his throne. Keeping the world full of conflicts and evils keeps people divided. They're so busy fighting each other that they can't unite against him. Hitler, Genghis Khan, Bismarck, Stalin, Mao, history is full of dictators who employed similar logic to maintain power. Yes it makes him a hypocrite but Maker is beyond caring about the "small minded" dreams he had back before he jumped off the slippery slope.

Regarding what he wants power for, there are two likely motives to parallel his two justifications. I believe he is trying to create the "Ultimate Earth", an Earth that lives up to what he wanted 1610 to be. Time travelling to the future indicates that he is at the very least invested in this Earth's well-being. He saved it from Galactus, he kept the Council from spiraling out of control as they now threaten to do in his absence. He supported scientific and technological advancements that did improve life for everyone. Howard mentions curing cancer. Maker's Ultimate Earth appears to be a technologically advanced society where the peoples lives are improved at the cost of their freedom. In a single word: Latveria. Fitting for a Reed who has gone the way of Doom.

Unsurprisingly Maker's other motive is much more selfish and narcissistic: he wants to screw with Earth 6160 Reed.

Mentioned this before somewhat in my previous post:

My theory is that it's because Maker is trying to take a Reed who is similar to 616 Reed and transform the guy into a monster like him. It's his middle finger to 616 Reed. Maker wants to prove that 616 Reed isn't better than him, if Mr. Fantastic had lost his family and been put through hell like Maker had, he would break too. That 6160 Reed is, so far, not a monster like Maker pisses Maker off. It's not logical to keep 6160 Reed around, and doing so leads to Maker's fall.

Additionally there's some clear self-hatred going on.

Note the callback to UFF with the "I don't make mistakes" line. People talk about Sue rejecting the marriage offer as being the big divergence point between the 616 and 1610 Reeds. I think it goes back even further. 616 Reed was the one who messed up his friends lives. 1610 Reed however was blameless. 1610 Doom, not Reed, was the one who caused the accident that gave the Four their powers. In Ultimate Power it was Doom's meddling which was revealed to have killed millions of people despite Maker initially being blamed. Maker never had to feel the guilt that Mr. Fantastic has to live with. Always when it seemed like he had screwed up, a reveal came to absolve him of any responsibility. Arguably his two greatest pre-Maker screw-ups were teleporting to the zombie Earth and creating the Cosmic Cube and guess what? Both of those were because of external agents in the forms of zombie Reed and Thanos meddling with his head.

So having done nothing wrong his whole life, never having screwed up with nobody to blame but himself, when Sue dumped him and his whole life fell apart because he put saving the world over his personal desires in Ultimatum? Knowing, thanks to zombie Reed, that there were Reeds out there who got married and had families and kept the Four together despite making mistakes? My headcanon is that's what broke him. Also that's why he made Doom's life hell. 6160 Reed was supposed to live the life 616 Reed got, the kind of life Maker wanted. Instead he lost everything. Why? Because from Maker's point of view, Doom doesn't deserve that kind of happiness. Why should Maker, a Reed who never made mistakes, be the one Reed denied that joy while all the Reeds who are responsible for transforming their friends get to have that?

So Maker took 6160 Reed and gave him the life he thinks Mr. Fantastic should've gotten. 6160 Reed made the mistake of not double checking his notes and lost everything. He ended up with the burnt face and Doom moniker because from Maker's point of view, that is what should have happened to 616 Reed. Maker should be the beloved hero with the fantastic family as befitting a Reed who never made mistakes, not the unworthy Reeds who are fallible. In Maker's mind, 616 Reed should be the one whose Sue rejected him and became a villain. His words in Ultimate Invasion about having thought about what he and 616 Reed would be like if they swapped lives support this.

There's a beautiful symmetry going on here between Maker and Doom. Dooms usually blame Reeds for ruining their lives by sabotaging Doom's experiments. Here is a Doom for whom that belief is valid, and his obsession with Maker completely justified. Except it's himself that he's obsessed with, just as Maker is clearly obsessed with Mr. Fantastic. A grand ouroboros of Reeds chasing after one another. Fitting, for Reeds have always been their own worse enemies.

[onefourone]

gaz x gn!reader drabble (no warnings)

also im sorry for not posting for a while, i havent been doing too great 🥲 but i hope yall like it + sorry for any mistakes

having been with kyle (or gaz, as he's referred to by his friends) for years now, you've come to appreciate every single way he expresses his love and affection for you.

the way he looks at you. kyle has always had this gaze that made your breath stutter in your chest. but you feel safe. you feel protected under his watchful eye. not a single thing goes unnoticed as long as he's there to see it. sometimes even when he isn't. he maps out every part of your body and soul with his eyes, committing every inch of you to his memory. he loves making eye contact with you whenever it's possible, just so you can see the extent of his devotion.

the way he touches you. gaz is a military man. his hands have caused so much death in his service, which is something you hate thinking about (and so does he). those same hands come home to you and cradle you like you're the most precious jewel on the planet. his hands dig into the knots on your back. they rub lotion onto your skin after a shower. they rub your stomach when it's upset. they care for you.

the way he cooks for you. it's not an uncommon sight, seeing gaz in the kitchen. he loves to cook for you more than anything. he loves to bust out his mother's old recipes to make for you. he's always keeping you fed. nothing makes him happier than the seeing the thankful smile on your face before eating what he prepared. while he would never turn down a cooked meal from you if you wanted to make it, he never wants you to feel like you're forced to make anything if you don't want you. he wants you to relax and eat good food like the royalty that you are.

the way he speaks to you. kyle's voice was a big part of why you fell for him in the first place. it's silky smooth, and so relaxing to listen to. you often ask him to read to you or tell you a random story just so you can sleep. you could hear him speak forever and never get tired of it. you constantly run out of space on your phone because you save every single voicemail and voice message he leaves you, just so you can hear his beautiful voice when you're feeling anxious.

the way he's loyal to you. you know that loyalty is supposed to be a given in any relationship. but kyle is loyal in a way you've never experienced before with previous partners. he actually advocates for you. family putting you down? he tells them off and reminds you of your worth. "friends" treating you badly? he tells them to fuck off and let's you know they don't deserve you. you've never had anyone put you first like this before and it's such a refreshing feeling with him. if you ever feel like it's too much, he will never push it. but you know he always has your back regardless.

the way he comes back to you. it's no secret that you hate kyle's work. you hate that he constantly had to leave. you hate barely being able to contact him while he's gone. you hate stewing in your anxiety for weeks, not knowing if you'd ever get to see him again. but he always comes back. he says as much whenever he can. there's no "if" or "maybe" with him. he says he will come back to you, and he always does.

the way he spoils you. kyle makes a decent amount of money from his work. decent enough that he constantly begs you to quit your shitty office job. you refuse on account of needing a way to busy your mind while he's gone. to compromise, he buys you gifts constantly. it never works to try and pretend you have nothing you're interested in. he is extremely perceptive and pays attention to everything you say and do. you'll constantly find yourself on the receiving end of all your favorite things.

the way he marries you. when you bring up the idea of getting married, he practically collapses onto his knees in relief. he's so incredibly happy that you want that with him, because he can't see a reality where he isn't yours for all of eternity. when he eventually proposes to you under the stars in your favorite park, you can just tell he is going to make you the happiest person in the world. when you get back home, he reveals (the most sheepish you've ever seen him) that he actually bought the ring ages ago, but he was afraid he'd been moving too fast. he couldn't help but laugh at the adorable look of shock you had.

the way he cherishes you forever. the married life with kyle was really not that different. he still treats you like he just fell in love with you, even years later. he finally took you to meet his team, after years of brief greetings while you video called kyle. you felt indebted to this group of people for keeping the love of your life alive (though, his captain was quick to let you know that kyle does the same for the rest of them often). you smile when his other teammate, soap, tells you about how kyle never shuts up about you ever. he even carries a picture of you on him at all times for good luck. you try your best (and fail) not to cry.

[just-call-mefr1es]

cupioromantic titania

HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT-

so like, im sure its obvious that solarballs wants to make titanic (titan x titania) a canoj ship, deapite their like,, four one-on-one interactions. i have nothing ahainst the shippers, adtually, most titanic shippers ive met r really chill/cool people!! i jus think the ship felt forced,, not even a little. like, really forced. but hey, this isnt a titanic slander post, this is about titania

first off, cupioromantic people are people who desire a romatntic relationship, but dont feel any romantic attraction whatsoever. how does this fit with titania? cue her and titans first interaction. barely any romantic subtext aside from deimos’ inner wattpad demons. so now, lets say deimos’ words got into titania’s head, and suddenly she’s like ‘oh, relationship with titan?’ she doesn’t feel that much of a connection to him (because agian, BARELY ANY INTERACTION) but she does think ‘maybe i could get with him? i dont really like him like that but he does seem like a good partner and could probably help me out..’ sometime later (because i dont think she would have immediately jump to the relationship thought).

and then this continues! looking at the other moons of uranus’ actions, they seem really into titanic because thw wattpad demons are contagious, apparently. usijg the power of delusion, i think they (as in other uranus moons) kinda pressured titania into wanting to be with titan after the moon revolution. this probably made titania a lil pressured, and her previous thoughts from ewrlier about thinking ‘hey, he could be a good partner’ didnt make it any better.

so what does she do? she gives in.

girlie probably forced herself to think she has feelings for this dried olive (sorry titan i actually love you💔) so that she doesn’t have to overthink anymore because her mind’s alrady pretty full of thought. she makes herself think that she’s inlove with him so that the others could be pleased, when in reality, she only likes the thought of them together. i think that sometimes shed like a little help, and she thinks that titan can be that help, i guess.

lpng story shotrt, titania thinks a relationship will help her feel less pressured at times and therefore convinces herself that shes inlove with titna.

okay, im not sure if that explained my thoughts well😭😭 reading back i do not. think it did, so if u think it didnt, just take the hc and run lmao🤕🤕 this was a hc ive been thinking about ever since moon club first dropped and only had guts to share it on the day after canada day at two in the morning (no joke), so uh yeah. please dont yell at me😜

[age-of-moonknight]

Helloo

If im not bothering you too much, may I ask what you know about the cia?

I know it may not be a question related to moon knight, or maybe it could be, but im kinda interested to know the basics at least and you seem to know a lot about it

Btw, i absolutely adore your blog

Hello!!! :D I'm so glad that you enjoy this blog and thanks for stopping by! Although, well,,,,hm,,,maybe it's just my rabid paranoia sinking its claws even deeper into me, but this is one of the more interesting asks I've gotten for this blog, that's for sure. 😅 For perhaps some context, I think anon might be referencing this post I made, gosh, close to two years ago now, where I got....maybe a little too excited talking about the history of the CIA and what Marc's time with The Company could mean for his character hahaha Accordingly, a full rundown on the agency's history, not to mention its many, many facets, is probably a bit outside the purview of this blog, but this is then a good time to state that if anyone ever wants to talk about anything and everything besides Moon Knight, my dms are always open and I'm happy to chat! However,,,I also have an affliction where I am an incorrigible pedant who jumps at the chance to write essays on things that interest me (and intelligence interests me very, very much, unfortunately). As such, while all my instincts are telling me this is absolutely glowing bait on a hook, if anyone wants to read a rambling wall of text about that agency Marc spent some time with, that will be waiting for you under the cut. Again, disclaimer, I'm just some person on the internet and thus can't really be considered a credible source on much of anything (except maybe how many times Moon Knight has teamed up with the Punisher hahaha). All the following info could easily be gathered from OSINT sources (and we're talking, like, Wikipedia, although this gave me the chance to pull out one of my favorite textbooks, Intelligence: From Secrets to Policy by Mark Lowenthal (vol. 7). If you're the textbook reading-type and interested in the topic, I'd suggest giving it a shot, particularly chapters 2 and 3 for the CIA and the U.S.' broader intelligence community). I tried to keep this incredibly surface level, as these are all topics that you could write monographs on, so if you want more sources/context, just hit me up! This also got,,,,unreasonably long (I didn't even know tumblr HAD a point where it would stop autosaving, but apparently trying to list all of the CIA's crimes against humanity will get you there), so I ended up having to split this across multiple posts.

Conception I discussed it in my previous post, but I'll give a brief rundown on how the Central Intelligence Agency came to be. So, the United States had intelligence organs pre-World War II, but they would typically only be spun up for however long a conflict lasted and then all of their assets would be reintegrated back into the military, da? But then with the end of WWII ushering in the atomic age and nuclear deterrence pushing out conventional conflict in favor of an espionage-fueled Cold War, the U.S. government deemed it prudent to have a permanent intelligence gathering service. There was just one hiccup, the question of what to do with the U.S.' WWII-era intelligence service, the Office of Strategic Services (OSS). Under the leadership of the very descriptively nicknamed Brigadier/Major General William "Wild Bill" Donovan, OSS officers had been running around conducting sabotage and espionage operations throughout Europe and Asia, doing wild things like working with an underground intelligence network of European Catholic priests and coordinating with the 20 July plot/Operation Valkyrie assassination attempt on Hitler. They were the very definition of irregular, British officials accused them of "playing cowboys," and the U.S.' massive post-war military organization was loathe to have to find some way to force OSS officers into the military's necessary uniformity, so in 1947, after a couple years of bureaucratic shuffling, the OSS apparatus got pasted onto this new intelligence agency that was so far,,,rather bookish and the CIA as we know it was born. This divide, between the incredibly Ivy League analysts and the more martial remnants of the OSS that got folded in was a contributor to the two major branches of the CIA (and their infamous intra-agency rivalry), so this perhaps a good segue into the CIA's different internal departments, its "directorates."

There are the two ogs, the Directorate of Operations and the Directorate of Analysis, and then the newer Directorates of Digital Innovation, Support, plus Science & Technology. (Note: this is as the agency stands now; there have been some fluctuations in structure and naming conventions over the years).

The Directorate of Operations (DO) needs little introduction, as it's the legacy of the OSS and what most people think of when they hear the word "espionage," the kind of work one individual once described to me as "fast cars, nice suits, and unlimited spending" (hope he's still out there and doing well). They're your politically deniable boots on the ground collecting HUMINT (human intelligence such as handling contacts and the like) and executing covert actions. It contains the ultimate sharp point of the spear, the Special Activity Center (SAC) with its Political Action Group (PAG), which spreads black propaganda, influences elections, and conducts other psychological operations, and the Covert Action Group (CAG), which draws operators from the military's special forces programs to form their own direct action, counter-intel/counter-terror, unconventional warfare, paramilitary group (they have a very diverse set of martial skills). Naturally, most recipients of the U.S. intelligence community's highest honors, the Intelligence Star and Distinguished Intelligence Cross are from the SAC. Most of the stars on the CIA HQ's Wall of Honor, which memorializes officers who died in service of the CIA, represent SAC officers too, however.

The Directorate of Analysis (DA), in contrast, doesn't get enough love, despite making up nearly half of the CIA for decades. Whereas the DO mainly collects the intelligence through various means, the DA has the people who take the raw intel and try to turn it into something digestible for policy makers (whether that means just translating the intel into basic English or proposing whole, wide-sweeping policy strategies has varied across the agency's history depending on its professionalism and the degree of government oversight at the time). They get so overshadowed despite being a key part of the intelligence cycle, it's almost not funny hahaha (I kid you not, the official CIA website not only has a "kids" section with an online coloring book that depicts the various directorates as heroes, but it even went so far as to depict the DO with a rather dashing hat and cape,,,,while they gave the representation of the DA glasses and a briefcase, I weep hahaha). However, if you've ever heard a stereotype of the CIA actually being made up of a bunch of incredibly Ivy League, smart but cliquey, uncomfortably cold (both in manner and strategy) eggheads, that would be because of the DA. That's a very disparaging stereotype,,,,but it got its start from somewhere. It's still the CIA after all, and there have been times in the institution's history where the only thing to distract the DA from its intra-agency pissing contest with the more domineering DO was to shield the CIA from any sort of external government or other agency encroachment on the CIA's "purview."

Probably the next most established division would be the Directorate of Science & Technology (DST). Whereas the DO is predominantly HUMINT and the DA works closest with policy makers, the DST is the one expanding the CIA's technological capacity to deal with CBRN threats (chemical, biological, radiological, nuclear), and collect SIGINT (signals intelligence over radio waves and the like), IMINT (image intelligence as from satellites), and GEOINT (geological intelligence monitoring seismographs to, for example, detect if a nation is doing underground nuclear tests). Intel collection is only as good as the tools used and naturally intelligence agencies all around the world are constantly trying to leapfrog each other in capabilities, circumvention, and denial (preventing adversarial interest's collection efforts, that is).

Similarly, the most recent division is the Directorate of Digital Innovation (DDI), which is similar to the DST, but the DDI is focused almost entirely on cyberwarfare/espionage. They also seem to be doing a lot with OSINT ("open-source" intelligence, AKA any information you can access without a security clearance). OSINT used to be a bit of a joke in the intelligence community ("so, it's just what you read in the paper this morning??? That puts it one step above LAVINT: intelligence collected by overhearing conversations in the lavatory"), but with the explosion of information made available by the modern internet landscape and social media, you can go far with OSINT. (If you too salivate over the potential OSINT, maybe checkout Bellingcat if you haven't already)

Lastly but not least, there's the Directorate of Support, who are all the people who keep The Company running smoothly, managing logistics, comms, security at CIA sites, and overseeing officer training.

So yeah, I've alluded to the DA's and DO's rivalry, so maybe I should talk about inter- and intra-agency competition and the hot water those things have got the CIA in over the years. Maintaining an effective intelligence community is a tricky thing, particularly in a nation trying its best to be democratic and at least nominally respect human rights. You want officers to be able to collect intelligence, but you can't let them have so much free rein they rough up the nation's own citizens with impunity (as that's a bad look and can lead to civilian push back that could not only hurt the regime but handicap intelligence gathering in the future) and you definitely don't want an intelligence agency getting so much power it feels like it can start dictating a nation's policy instead of just advising on it. (Plus, the absolute nightmare scenario of an agency that's gone completely off the rails and no longer bothers much with consulting on politics at all, but just operates completely independently). Thus, to prevent the intelligence community from getting too big for its own good, a little competition, a little checks-and-balances from within the intelligence community can be beneficial. The drive by one intel group to outperform another (and consequently get more recognition/funding/etc.) can lead to a mutual improvement of the products that end up on a policy maker's desk. Having said that, I hope I explained it in such a way where you might see the issue with the CIA being the U.S.' singular, domineering force in the federal intelligence community for decades. The DA and DO had their marked cultural divide, but the CIA had very little competition from other agencies and, for example, had their ultimate weapon: the President's Daily (intel) Brief. The CIA, due to its vast capabilities, for years had the privilege of providing the president with (what the CIA deemed to be) the most important intel topics of the day. Accordingly, particularly during the Cold War before government oversight of the CIA really kicked up, this allowed the CIA to sway the government towards some at best politically questionable and more critically ethically deplorable policy choices.

Yeah, having gotten this far, I don't think I've made it clear that, for as much as I am fascinated by and spent,,,,a lot of resources studying subjects such as intelligence and terrorism, I am fully cognizant and never quite cease to be outraged by the injustice that permeates those fields. The CIA for sure, with its vast resources and the outsized role the United States played in meddling in international affairs during the Cold War and on, is a chief and, now, well-documented offender. I'm sure CIA intelligence collection and guidance has prevented many attacks we'll never know about, but you can't talk about the CIA without discussing the actions that directly resulted in thousands dead. Let's go over some of their greatest hits, shall we? (And that takes me so long I have to put it in a whole other post).

[xticklemeemox]

The Love You Want: III, Part Eleven

fun fact this was like 18k yesterday. i took out the smut scene (its going into the next chapter) and was left with 15k…. and then i do this…

this chapter is 19,085 mcfreakin words

anyways as usual super insecure about posting this, i'm probably gonna hate it until the reviews come in and give me serotonin so yeah i love you guys thank you for reading im sorry this chapter probably sucks

Word count: 19,085

Ao3

Masterlist

Previous Part

Next Part

For a while, Vessel merely floats in an expanse of stars, awareness ebbing and flowing with the swirling galaxies around him. He is at peace, and that time is precious to him.

The peace is shattered in time, as the stars start blinking out one by one, a void opening up beneath Vessel. He sinks into it, inch by inch, as it swallows him whole.

Vessel didn't quite understand what was happening, at first. He didn't realize he was dreaming, didn't realize that none of what happened after he closed his eyes wasn't real. This realm felt just as much his reality as the waking world.

One moment he had been staring in horror as the galaxies around him exploded, the stars winking out above as he sunk into the abyss, the next he was blinking tired eyes open in his old apartment he shared with his third partner.

His single pair of eyes take in the dim lighting and the shadows in the corners that Vessel had grown used to being able to see with perfect vision. Where were his other eyes? His hands are holding his notebook open with a pen between pale fingers. The familiar pitch black with golden cracks is replaced with the pale, human skin he had Before. Panic sets in, a tremble shaking the pen pressed to a page of his notebook, smearing navy blue ink.

Vessel looks up again, forcing himself to look around as banging sounds from the kitchen, cabinets slamming shut loudly as he flinches with every harsh noise. The action is familiar. The walls are bare and the yellow paint faded. The dirty floors are chipped and covered in trash no matter how much he cleaned, laminated fake wood long since lost its shine. His panicked, wandering gaze catches on the line of cocaine on the coffee table in front of him. It was a small flat, only one bedroom, one bath. The kitchen and living room were attached, and there was barely any space for furniture. What little space there was, was taken up by her belongings. Vessel's old busted keyboard was in the corner, piled up with clothes that weren't his. It had been broken when his girlfriend had taken a hammer to it as he was playing, barely missing his fingers. There was no warning, no hesitation. Vessel couldn't even blame it on some drunken or drugged stupor. Her mind was perfectly clear when she yelled at him, screamed that his music was taking up all of his attention, that she had saved him and deserved better than this, as she smashed the ivory keys in and broke the buttons.

Vessel remembered sobbing so hard he threw up, dry heaving as he tried desperately to gather all the broken pieces and salvage the instrument. She'd been so pleased with herself, like she hadn't just destroyed the one thing, the only thing left, that made Vessel happy, until she got annoyed with him for crying over it. Not only was he in pain internally, after that, but his cheeks and ribs ached, bruised and battered after she was done with him. Then, she used him afterwards, and it hurt. She'd made sure. The bruises on his jaw and neck had lasted for weeks. There had been no point in hiding them, either. Vessel had no friends, no reason to leave the apartment. The wounds on his body eventually healed but a piece of him was shattered with his piano that day.

It was one of the worst days he'd ever had with her, and there were many bad days. Being with II and III has taught him that much... It was one of the only times she'd ever hurt him so severely, as she preferred ruining him with her words while his first girlfriend preferred her fists.

He tried to kill himself that night, once he was sure she was asleep. He couldn't handle being alive as it was, but for his last hope, his music, to be taken from him? Vessel couldn't remember a time where he had wanted to die more. He needed to erase himself from existence, no matter what it took. He'd limped to the bathroom across the hall and shut the door as quietly as he could. Held his breath deep in his chest as he waited, listened for any signs of movement from the bed. The door wouldn't lock, not after the first time she had pounded on it when he was cutting into his thighs and he couldn't bring himself to open it out of fear. She'd gone to the store the next day and bought a new doorknob, one without a lock. Grabbing the razor he kept on top of the mirror was easy. There was no real point in hiding it, she never cared to take them from him or say anything against his bloody habit. She was only a little shorter than himself, so she could have found it easily, too. Already naked, he had no need to be mindful of any of his clothes, and climbed right into the tub. It was too small for him, forcing him to bend his limbs at awkward angles to fit. Digging the blade into his arm deep enough to sever the vein had been painful but so easy at the same time. He'd slowly gotten colder as time stretched on infinitely, black spots gradually blotting out his vision as he wondered desperately if this was finally the attempt that would end all attempts and set him free. It wasn't.

Vessel had woken up in the tub, spilling out over its side like the blood in his arms, the shadows in the corners seeming to stretch endlessly into an infinite void. Vacant eyes couldn't seem to produce any more tears to shed, numb inside like he wished he was outside. He methodically cleaned up the blood on his arms, barely taking note of the scabbing already forming all along the vertical wound. Next had been wherever blood had slipped down his arms to the rest of his body, then the tub, and finally the floor.

He'd climbed back into bed, shivering from unnatural cold and the pain of his bruised bones as his mind wandered. Vessel vaguely remembered seeking any sort of comfort, pressing up to his girlfriend as she slept. The movement had woken her, then, and she placed a gentle kiss to his brow, barely awake, and then shoved him away to the other side of the bed. Rolling over to face away from him, she took the last bit of comforter he'd been afforded, and Vessel had felt so alone. She didn't question his puffy eyes or blotchy face that next morning, and didn't even care that Vessel had fallen into complete silence. She didn't care how he was or if he was hurt, as long as he was hers. A familiar possessiveness.

It felt nothing like II and III. He wouldn't mind being their possession. He was already Sleep's. When III had bitten him, in return for Vessel doing so when they'd had sex for the first time, they'd said it was to claim Vessel. That they liked the possessiveness it showed, and wanted to be possessive in return. Vessel's soul sang with yearning, and still his fear chained him down. They'd both treated him like he was worth something, loved him, cared for him, made him... made him want, to want, to-

Vessel forces his mind out of the pit its fallen into lest he travel down a road he's not sure he can stomach following. Not now.

He doesn't think II and III would ever destroy his piano because he wasn't paying enough attention to them. Sleep... perhaps if it was something aside from music taking his time, but there would be no need. Sleep could just bring Vessel to his realm on a whim.

Vessel hates this apartment and everything in it, he decides, himself most of all. But why is he back here? Why does everything feel so real? Was... Everything couldn't have been a dream. Vessel could never conjure up II and III on his own. They were too kind, so different from anyone Vessel had ever known that there was no possible way he could have dreamt them up.

"_! Did you break my favorite fucking glass? Are you fucking serious?!" Footsteps stomp towards him, like a death march.

Vessel finds he can't move, either from stiffening fear or something else keeping him in place. She called his name... didn't she? No, that's not his name anymore. Is it? No, no, he is Vessel. He chose it for himself, whatever name she called him isn't him. Not anymore.

Vessel shrinks back into the cracked leather couch, trying to disappear between the cushions at his back. He closes his notebook silently, stuffing it behind him between the cushions so his girlfriend doesn't find it.

She's in front of him between blinks as she screams unintelligible words through the ringing in Vessel's ears. Her face is a blur, the only feature he can see is her mouth, still moving as she speaks to him. There's a bit of white dust on her top lip, trailing down from where her nose would be. Her perfume is cloying, a strong scent that Vessel can't name as she grips Vessel's arm, nails digging into his bicep as she drags him up. He lets her, resistance long beaten out of him by those before her. She's still yelling, right into his ear now, it seems, as she pulls him along to the kitchen. The waste bin has been dumped all over the ground, glass scattered alongside the trash. There isn't much trash in the first place, since he took it out the day before and he'd only broken her mug this morning, but it doesn't matter as she shoves him harshly, weak knees buckling beneath him.

His palms land directly in the shattered remains of the glass he'd accidentally broken. He misses the smile that pulls one side of her lips up when he hisses at the pain, trying to keep the sound quiet.

"You broke my favorite glass and didn't tell me?" She spits, stepping close as she leans down into his face.

Vessel whimpers quietly as she digs her foot into the back of his hand, shoving more glass into his skin.

"I- I was going to get you a new one. They have it at the store all the time." His breaking voice is barely above a whisper, gaze locked on the floor in submission.

She laughs, a rose pink lipstick stain peeking out on her teeth, a well manicured hand coming to grip his jaw, "You? Go to the store? Don't make me laugh, ___. You know you can't go anywhere alone. I always have to go with you or in your stead since you're too pathetic to talk to people, let alone buy groceries on your own. I was going to find out eventually, and still you tried to hide it."

Her nails, the same color as her lipstick, dig into his cheek and jaw painfully. Vessel knows not to utter a sound, even as the sharp points feel like little, dull knives. He remains silent, knowing she won't want an answer.

Everything happening feels familiar. Did he live this before? Is this real? Is he back before Sleep, before II and III? If Vessel could move of his own free will, he'd take one of these glass shards to his neck to test it. He can only let things play out, even as fear makes him tremble. He hates being here. He wants II and III, wants them to hold him, so he feels safe again.

"Pick it up. With your hands, understand?" She orders, and when Vessel does not answer, can't answer when she's practically holding his mouth shut with how tightly she's gripping his face, she shakes his head side to side harshly as if he were nothing more than a doll to be played with until he's no longer wanted, "_, look at me, do you understand?"

Vessel's mind races as he tries to get his body to move, tries to answer her. Whether it was him or her who had broken the glass, she would always make him clean it up with his hands.

He tries to nod but her grip only grows tighter, nails digging harshly until Vessel swears blood is trickling down his jaw. Finally, she shoves him away, releasing his hand from underneath her shoe. He lifts it up, cradling it close as blood dribbles down his wrist.

"Can't even answer a simple fucking question. Clean it, _. I will not say it again."

Blood splatters on the tile as he does as ordered, starting with the biggest pieces that he puts in the trash bin. It had still been knocked over, and Vessel wipes his tears away with a forearm while he sets it upright. His tears do not stain his clothes, completely clear, human. Vessel hates it.

The smaller pieces start getting stuck in his fingers, getting shoved deeper into his skin as he picks up more glass shards. It hurts, but pain is a familiar friend.

Vessel cries anyway, on the verge of sobbing but he does not let a single sound escape his lips. He knows better. The tears fall regardless of his wishes, dripping onto his hands and the floor, blurring his vision so badly he can barely see to continue cleaning.

His girlfriend taps her foot relentlessly, just out of the corner of his eye, and he twitches with every movement, afraid that same foot will soon meet his skin.

"Faster, _. I don't have all day." Vessel tries, he really does, splitting more skin on the sharp pieces in his haste to do as ordered.

Nothing good comes from not doing as told.

Vessel thinks that there are more pieces to clean than before. Did he break more of the cup than he thought when he'd knocked it off the counter? He was almost certain there had only been a couple of large pieces to- Oh. She must have broken more of it when she dumped the trash all over the ground.

"God, fucking worthless, _. Stop fucking crying, its so goddamn annoying! All you ever do is cry, cry, cry. I'm fucking sick of it! Can't even do as told." She shouts, leaning down as sharp nails dig into his face again, "Am I not good enough for you? Is that why you never listen? I love you! Is that not enough?! Is my love not enough for you, _?!"

"If it weren't for me, you'd still be with your ex! I saved you from her, from the pain she caused you. I love you, more than she ever did! I deserve better than you being a whiny, pathetic, miserable man who can't do anything by himself! Who can't clean up his messes or tell the truth!"

With every word, Vessel feels himself slipping away further and further. A fog settling over his mind. Its happened before, not often, but enough for him to be familiar with the lack of memories after he comes back to himself. The shadows around him always seemed darker as he drifted away from his body, the distinct feeling of being watched so easy to brush aside.

His hands continue cleaning on autopilot, the repeated motions allowing his mind to slip away. Things get hazy, here. He doesn't remember finishing cleaning up the mess, and only vague pieces of being left to sit against the cabinets once she finally let him be, flicker through the fog of his mind.

He sits there, the world drifting in and out of focus, static in his ears, fingers tingling as he holds his knees to his chest.

"You know I love you, right, _?"

Vessel looks up and finds his girlfriend standing over him, dressed up in one of her nicer outfits that accentuated her curves. Her smile is kind, lipstick having been reapplied, as she reaches down to cup his jaw. Slowly, he nods with a smile of his own, wilted like his soul, feeling her grip tighten into something more familiar.

"Do you love me, too?" She asks, and the words are out of his mouth before he can stop them, "Of course, you're my everything."

"Good, that's good, _. You'd be all alone if it weren't for me, stuck with that bitch who didn't know how to keep you in line properly. You're so much easier to love when you behave, so don't break any more of my things, okay? Now, clean up all this blood, you've made such a mess again." Her smile remains sweet as she leans down to kiss him.

The kiss sends Vessel reeling, unused to affection like this. Vessel kisses her back, unable to stop himself. He wants to stop. He doesn't want her anywhere near him. He wants to go ho- He wants to be back at the manor, with II and III. He wants to die, right here, right now, permanently, if it means escaping the nausea that churns his stomach. It feels like seconds, or hours, later but she finally detaches her lips from his, patting his bruising cheek, so lovingly Vessel leans into it without a thought, and leaving again. The door to the apartment slams shut after her, and Vessel is left alone.

The silence is all he needs, the breath caught in his chest leaving him in a whoosh of air and taking a broken whimper with it.

Vessel sobs and sobs, silent, hitching breaths as his chest constricts, bloody fingers clawing into his arms as he hugs himself. His heart beats rapidly, a heavy thumping in his ears as he starts to hyperventilate, breaths coming in shorter and shorter pants, then wheezes, all while he whispers three little words desperately. He wishes he could stop saying them, questions their validity, now, as he chokes on the words through his sobbing.

"I love you, I love you, I love you-"

Vessel wakes up, choking on another sob he'd been about to let loose. Beside him, cuddled up into his side, is his plague doctor plushie. Sitting up is an arduous task, a weight pressing him down like a veil had been cast over his head and with every inch towards sitting up properly, its like it slips away. He's too distraught to truly take note of it, though.

He doesn't love her, he doesn't- not anymore. Not anymore.

He shakes with the force of his cries, muffled into the bloody hand he shoves over his mouth. Vessel doesn't trust himself to keep quiet right now, to be able to keep his sobbing as silent as it needs to be. He is shaken, rattled by the nightmare he has just woken up from, and yet his body, his mind is completely in perfect health. If you ignore the wounds he dug himself. If you ignore his panicked mind.

But he is not tired. The realization brings new tears to his eyes, ones of relief. Vessel couldn't remember the last time he wasn't utterly exhausted, even Before. He was always weighed down, but now its like a weight, one of many, has been lifted from his shoulders.

Stomping footsteps run towards him, echoing down the hall, and he turns to the door quickly, wide eyed as his mouth clicks shut. His body is shoved to the corner of the bed, his plushie stuffed half under a pillow and behind him, hidden from view. The blanket is pulled up over his chest as he hides his face between his knees to make himself as small as possible.

The door is slammed open, and Vessel expects to see his ex-girlfriend in the doorway. Instead, it is II, followed closely by III, and Vessel is struggling to get out from under the sheets so he can get to them. They both launch themselves at him before Vessel can manage to escape the covers, an exclamation from II the only warning he receives, "You're awake!"

They're warm against him, solid beneath his touch as he clutches each of their shirts with grey knuckled fingers. He didn't dream them up, he isn't back in that apartment with his ex.

He's safe, here.

"You're... real." Vessel murmurs, and the admission causes II and III to share a concerned glance.

It only makes him cry harder, for his fears to be abated. They have never hurt him like she did, like his other partners. To be shown it so starkly, the difference between the people of Vessel's past and those of his present is apparent... Vessel hates how afraid he was. Always such a fucking coward.

II presses kisses into his hair as Vessel claws at the back of II's shirt like he will disappear if he lets go, soaking II's shirt with his tears. III is silent at his side but holding him just as tightly. Vessel is thankful for the blanket he couldn't get out from under still covering him. He fears any day now that they will realize that he has no heartbeat. It terrifies him almost as much as the notion that they will eventually leave him, no matter how much they love him.

"You were asleep for an entire week, Vessel." II says as he finally pulls away, soft eyes widened in concern.

He keeps some part of his body touching Vessel regardless of the distance he puts between their torso's. III still says nothing, nor do they pull away, still holding tightly to Vessel, who squirms in apprehension despite craving the touch.

"Asleep?" Vessel murmurs, giving in and leaning into III pressed close at Vessel's other side, reassured by III moving away from Vessel's chest area.

"I- I don't have a headache." Vessel's quiet murmur is filled with muted awe.

"What happened to your face?" II asks, apologizing quietly when Vessel flinches back as he brushes a thumb over the bloody and bruised nail indents all along Vessel's cheek and jaw, smearing golden tears, too.

"I... Had a dream. It... It was more of a nightmare. My- My second girlfriend- She'd gripped my face with her acrylic nails as she yelled at me after I broke her cup. These were common, Before." Vessel explains, cupping his own cheek and feeling the indents underneath his fingers. "She made me pick up the broken pieces with my hands when I hid it from her. Did not care that I was going to get her a new one. I- I knew she would be angry with me, and I was afraid."

III eyes widen minutely, the scenario familiar. It was no wonder Vessel had looked so terrified when he'd broken III's mug. They want to ask for more details, to know what has befallen Vessel so III can't make sure never to repeat it, but his mouth is still shut. Vessel moves on before II can find the words to say, still running a finger over the indents in his cheek, "... This is a consequence of my rest."

'Sleep said something might happen.' III types out on their phone glumly, handed over for II to read out.

Vessel expects to hear III.

Wants to hear them. Needs them to say something. Why aren't they speaking? Vessel's memories are a mess, did he say or do something to anger them?

Vessel is suddenly bombarded with the fuzzy memories of what happened the night he last layed down.

"What did you do?"

III won't meet Vessel's eyes, he doesn't pull away either.

"Three, please, what did you do?" Vessel asks again, eyes wide in growing concern and horror.

III looks over to II, panic blatant over the bond as they silently converse with their eyes alone. II's lips thin in reluctant acceptance before speaking, "Sleep took his voice, temporarily... at least, we think its temporary. We'd- We'd both had enough of seeing you wither away from a lack of sleep, so- Three went to Sleep and demanded He let you rest."

"Demanded?" Vessel squeaks, a sob getting caught in his throat.

III demanded something of Sleep?

"He threw you out of the altar room! He- You- You could have been hurt! He took your voice!" Vessel raises his voice, distressed, pulling away to shove himself back in the corner.

His hands come to scratch at his arms as he holds himself. II looks around quickly, noticing Vessel's plushie right away and moving to grab it, to hand it over to Vessel. He had hoped something else to hold on to would make Vessel let go of his arms.

"Don't-!" Vessel blurts, crying harder, breath hitching in his chest as his throat aches with his fear.

II pauses, confused, but lets Vessel get his words out, "Don't destroy it. I'll- I'll do anything you want, just don't rip it. Don't throw it away."

Vessel digs his nails in harder, but can't force himself to grab his plushie to save it from its fate.

Slowly, II grabs the plushie with the gentlest grasp he can, handing it over to Vessel who takes it with trembling fingers, "I'm not going to hurt it, Ves. Why do you think I would do that?"

Vessel's lips pinch shut as he holds his plushie close to his chest, fingers trailing rhythmically over the plush material of its coat as he continues crying, "She would destroy my things. For loving them more than I loved her, she would say. My keyboard, my lyric notebooks. My 'Alpha Wolf' hoodie... it isn't the original. I had to save up for months to replace it."

III shakes with his anger, reaching out towards Vessel with arms opened invitingly. Vessel reaches back, crawling into III's lap and curling his head up against their stomach, tears never once ceasing. III runs a hand through Vessel's hair, uncaring how dirty it is.

"She should never have done that. She had no right, no reason-" II sucks in a deep breath to calm himself, clenching his fists in his lap.

"I'm sorry. I- I do not think you would do that, I just- That dream felt more like my reality. I thought- I thought I had been dreaming all of this up and that she had never abandoned me... that I was still stuck there where she hurt me, staying because I loved her and terrified to be alone. I realize, now, faced with what she was like... You two could be no more different from anyone else I have ever loved."

"I'm sorry, Vessel. I'm- I'm so sorry-" II isn't sure what to say, can't seem to find the words to express his thoughts.

"Do not apologize. It is not your fault." Vessel tries to reassure, still wiping away tears that are replaced quickly.

III simply holds him as he continues crying, II keeping a hand on his hip. Eventually, Vessel manages to calm down enough to speak again, small hiccups interrupting his words.

"Three... You risked the ire of our God... for me?" Vessel asks, so quietly its as though he thinks anything louder than a whisper will shatter the fragile atmosphere and everything he knows will be lost.

Vessel had never been a happy man, even in love. Not until II and III. They made him happy. Made him want to do better, be better.

His time After is still tainted with a pain of its own, but it is Before that lingers. Vessel... he wants to be rid of the past. He doesn't know how to start.

"You... You did not have to do that. I'm not worth it- Sleep, He took your voice for it, Three. You shouldn't have- I'm not worth it." Vessel's voice sounds defeated, a fresh wave of tears spilling over his cheeks, staining III's pajamas with gold.

"You are worth it! You will always be worth it!" II protests, falling silent with a miserable expression when Vessel shakes his head in silent refusal.

III holds Vessel to himself tightly, face screwed up in agony at the inability to reassure Vessel. III can't handle not being able to see Vessel's face properly, needing some way to communicate while still holding him. III pulls Vessel up by his shoulders, desperately grasping the others clothes before moving their hands to his face to cup it in a tender hold.

Shaking his head, III pleads with their eyes for Vessel to understand that they disagree with what Vessel has said. They have never hated Sleep taking their voice from them more than in that moment, feeling golden tears slip over III's thumbs.

"Do not ever do anything like that again." Vessel demands between his hitching, quiet sobs, hands coming up to hold onto III's, "I- I do not want to lose you. Please, Three, please! Promise me. Promise me, promise, promise-"

III looks to II for help, begging with their eyes for II to understand that III can promise no such thing as they shake their head profusely.

"Three can't promise you that, Vessel. I would do the same for either of you. You would do the same for us. We love you, at the risk of ourselves. We believe you worthy of our love, and so you will have it." II says, always so gentle with Vessel when he does not deserve it, does not feel worthy of it.

"I do not want either of you to get hurt because of me." Vessel whimpers, one hand falling down to clutch at II's on his thigh. "I want to protect you. I need you safe and unharmed, for my own sanity."

Vessel knows he must be a pathetic sight. Still, they do not shove him away. They do not hit him or scold him for his tears.

They love him, and Vessel believes it when they say so, when they press more kisses on whatever part of his body is in reach. No boundaries are crossed, his most closely kept secret remains just that, and Vessel is safe.

Despite knowing this, Vessel is... a little afraid of the next time he inevitably sleeps. Dreaming has brought forth things he had tried his hardest to forget, things Sleep had tried to bury without taking away who he was. Without his pain, Vessel would have been an empty shell.

Perhaps Sleep should have made Vessel forget everything, should not have left his pain, or any bits and pieces of who he was Before. Maybe he wouldn't be so damaged, now. He- He could have been a fresh slate, easier to love, easier to be loved.

This journey would have been so much easier... but would it have been the same...?

::

Once Vessel is fully calmed down, II and III reluctantly leave him to shower and change into different clothes, the tension that had been so high the past week loosening. Thinking nothing of the front door opening and closing, III lets Vessel wander off without his shoes again, peeking their head into the foyer to still see them by the door. III shrugs despite the errant thought that the other had just showered, going back to watering his plants in the house while II took a much needed nap, Elvira weaving between his feet as he wandered around. II didn't manage to sleep very well, worried over Vessel as he had been, so III isn't surprised he's trying to catch up on some much needed rest to try and relieve the pent up stress. They're in the middle of trimming up some damaged stems and leaves on the plants in the upstairs sitting room, unsure how much time has passed since Vessel left, when there is a pulling in III's chest, a tug on the bond he shares with the vessels. At first, they think it is II, since Vessel does not get their attention this way often. II is confused when III finds him up in his room, groggy from where III had woken him from his nap.

III apologizes quickly with a gentle pat to II's head, turning around to leave. They turn back quickly at II's slurred request for a kiss. II has nodded off again before III even reaches the door, and the sight threatens to bring a smile to III's face, though his sealed mouth stops it. III goes to find Vessel next, putting their shoes on at the door as the tugging persists. It does not lead in any particular direction, unlike the bond with Vessel that III can feel leads off faintly into the forest.

Stepping outside, III immediately notices something different, a change that strikes fear into their heart. One of the large trees by the house that lends a decent chunk of shade to the walkway leading to III's garden, has turned red. Its leaves, trunk, and branches are all a startling crimson color, like blood.

III doesn't think it was like this just this morning, but aside from taking care of their garden, neither II or III had left the shelter of the manor while they waited for Vessel to wake.

Vessel's probing, concerned bond leads off into the forest, and III will have to brave seeing so much red if he wants to find him, seeing down their own reassurance to relieve Vessel's worry. First, III needs to finish watering their plants, the task only half completed when he and II had felt the beginnings of Vessel's bond stirring as the other woke up slowly. The warm weather lends to the sweat trailing down III's back, and they know they will need a shower later, regardless of the dirt they're accumulating on their knees and hands while they water their plants.

Too soon, or perhaps not soon enough, that task is done, and its time to find Vessel. Steeling himself, III takes a deep, shaky breath. Walking further into the forest, III tugs questioningly on his bond with Vessel. There is a brief stint of sudden panic from him before its schooled into false calm and Vessel tugs back, leading III towards him. III sends down gentle affection, trying to soothe whatever made Vessel so panicked. Vessel's responding affection, quieter and more gentle than III's overwhelming love (no matter how subdued they had tried to make it) is treasured. They wonder if Vessel has realized it is their love that III sends him so often.

As III goes, he notices small little bits of flora have turned that same crimson as the tree by the house. A mushroom here, a patch of moss there, all red like blood. Any trees, their trunks like stained crimson bone, cast red light into the ground through the leaves. The sun beats down on III from above, but the thick canopies provide ample shade for most of the walk.

Vessel meets III at the edge of what seems a large expanse of red behind even III's enhanced eyesight, an unusual bounce in his step. Small band-aids have been placed over the nail marks torn into Vessel's cheek and jaw, and III is glad Vessel had clearly taken time to bandage them at all, after his shower. Vessel looks full of energy, bouncing on his feet with an eagerness III doesn't usually see from him. The rest has done him well. His demeanor now is such a stark contrast to what it was when he had woken up earlier that is almost sends III reeling.

The tugging in III's chest does not loosen, nor does it tighten, only persists in no particular direction. Following closely behind the First is a white stag, the same that Vessel had described to them. It towers over both of them, remaining a few steps behind Vessel as he walks. III eyes the beautiful, morbid creature warily as Vessel hesitantly reaches out for III's hand, a nervous, hopeful smile making his eyes all scrunch cutely.

"Three! This is the stag I told you about." Vessel says as III nods along, already having guessed it.

His modern English accent is more pronounced with his more energetic movements, as Vessel brings III's hand up to kiss his knuckles, "It will not hurt you, I promise."

III takes out his phone, typing a little slower than usual as he only has one hand available. Vessel waits patiently, a sad sheen overcoming the happiness in his eyes at seeing III.

?¿?: i believe you. whats in there?

"It is... Sleep's realm, here, in its earthly counterpart. I think it is a consequence of my rest. It is potentially dangerous, there are many of Sleep's creatures now residing there alongside this stag." Vessel explains, weary, "Promise me you'll stay away? Please, it is all I ask for." Vessel pleads, desperate for the other to agree.

III wants to protest, wants to assure Vessel that they can protect themself just fine, but Vessel is asking something of him... And III can find no discernible reason to disagree.

?¿?: alright ves, I promise

"Thank you, Three. For listening to me." Vessel smiles in relief, turning back to the stag, "You may go, if you wish. I've kept you from your duty long enough."

The stag snorts, shuffling its hoove in the rust red soil before it moves forward. III tries not to stiffen too noticeably as it moves closer to them, taking in the ghoul fungus littering what of its body that is not bleached bone.

"Steady, love, it will not hurt you." Vessel reassures, moving minutely closer to III's side despite his words.

III trusts Vessel, and so does not allow themself to back away like instinct demanded. It is easily a foot or two taller than III when it comes to stand in front of them, and for just a second, III cannot help the smile that pulls at the threading holding their lips shut at the thought of II beside the creature. He would look absolutely tiny beside it.

The stag leans close, large, sharp, branching antlers coming into startling focus as it bows its head before III. Careful not to startle it, III reaches up and places a hand right above where it's snout would be, fingers meeting only bone as empty eye sockets somehow seem to bore into III's very soul.

"Do you think the lovely creature would make Two look smaller than he already is?" Vessel jokes, and III could cry at the ease in which he does it, how he had voiced III's own thoughts.

If III could laugh, he imagines it would be a wet sound with promise of tears, but instead, all he can manage is a wheeze of air out his nose and his shoulders shaking. III nods eagerly in answer, eyes crinkled at the edges, and Vessel thinks they look beautiful. He wasn't sure the joke would land, perhaps even expected it to be met with irritation. Neither II nor III have ever met his negative expectations. They've exceeded every one of them with kindness and- and love, that Vessel feels he will never deserve.

The stag pushes its head further into III's hand, and while III isn't sure the creature can even feel his touch, he still pets above where it's snout should be anyway. Vessel lays a hand on the stag's side, where a patch of crimson moss has covered some of the vertebrae on its spine.

"It likes you." Vessel chuckles, still a quiet thing, but it surprises III nonetheless.

He's come so far since they'd first met. For him to laugh, as quiet as it was... Fuck, III loves him so much. Could not possibly put into words just how much Vessel means to them, but wants to try.

III can't, not right now, and it hurts.

III presses impossibly closer to Vessel's side as they both continue petting the stag. The creature lets them with no outward signs of displeasure. Displaying any sort of emotion may be difficult, though, with a lack of skin and muscles... and eyes.

Vessel turns his head in the direction of the house, tilting his head just so to the side as his petting ceases, "Sleep is calling for us. For you. He says you are not answering him."

III can't quite recall a time where Sleep had called for him, specifically. He's not sure II had ever been summoned either.

?¿?: is that wht this tugging is? It didnt leadt kn any particluar directon

Vessel squints at the phone for a second to decipher what III has written past the spelling errors, frowning. "Yes. I don't recall him ever calling on you before, so it might be different since you're the Third."

?¿?: ididnt mean to ignroe him

"Its alright, He says he's not upset, just that He merely wishes to speak with you." Vessel says, frowning heavily. "I think He is... regretful over what happened but will not speak to you directly, right now. I do not know why."

III puts his phone back in his pocket, bowing his head to the stag. They back away only slightly to avoid the antlers when the stag bows its head in return to both him and Vessel, before turning and walking back from whence it came.

"Do you wish to go speak with Him?" Vessel asks hesitantly as they, too, start walking back towards the manor hand in hand.

If it weren't for Vessel, III is sure they would have gotten lost trying to make their way back from this deep inside of the forest. Vessel seems quite certain of where he's going, though, so III trusts him.

?¿?: of course i do our god is calling gor me why wouldnt i want to speak witu him

"Because he almost hurt you." Vessel whispers, almost lost in the noises of the forest.

?¿?: i made him angy He could have just obliterated mr on the spto

"That... does not make it right." Vessel falls silent after finishing.

The short conversation peters out as they walk, hand in hand. III starts swinging their hands, curious as to what Sleep wishes to speak with them about. Maybe III will finally get his voice back. And use of his mouth in general, they're really quite hungry.

"I miss your voice." Vessel says suddenly, and III turns their head to look at him, finding Vessel already watching them with sad eyes.

III cannot even smile to reassure him, and they hate it.

"I- I miss hearing you talk to your plants while you water them. I miss hearing you call me by my nickname with that thick accent of yours. I miss hearing you laugh, so heartily it shakes your whole body. I miss hearing you." Tears well up in III's eyes as Vessel speaks, and he pulls both of them to a stop.

?¿?: im not too much?

"Never. You have never been too much, and I assure you, you never will be. Not to me." Vessel states with firm resolve, truly believing in every word he says.

III shoves his phone in his pocket and reaches up, grabbing Vessel's face, fingers threading into the others hair as he kisses him. Vessel lets out a noise of surprise, but does not protest the action. It is more of III pressing his lips to Vessel's than it is an actual kiss, but it will have to do. III swamps the bond with all the gooey, warm affection and adoration flooding his veins in the hopes that Vessel will feel it for what it is.

III pulls away, planting gentle kiss after gentle kiss all over Vessel's face until the other is a blushing mess. He looks so fucking pretty, III feels as if his heart is going to burst right out of his chest.

Vessel's blush lingers long after III pulls them forward once more, trusting Vessel to tell him if they start going the wrong direction.

III takes his shoes off at the front door, following Vessel up the staircase. They both try to keep quiet so as to not wake II, who is still resting. A quick glance see's his door open like III had left it, with Elvira laying in the doorway without a care in the world, sprawled across the floor like a particularly chunky pillow tossed aside carelessly.

The altar room is dark except for the single red candle, already lit. Vessel gets to work on lighting the others while Sleep speaks without preamble.

"You may leave us, my First. I wish to speak to the Third in private." Sleep says as III kneels before the altar, hands clasped in front of them on their knees.

Vessel does not say anything for a moment, nor does he move to leave. He lights the last candle and snuffs out the match, coming to stand beside III. A large hand falls to rest on III's head, slowly stroking over III's hair. If the situation weren't quite so serious, III might not have had to shove down the ardent arousal at Vessel standing over them like that, with such a steadfast expression on his visage.

"Can I... trust you with them, now, after what you did? If it were not for my- the manor's vines, you'd have hurt him." Vessel questions, finally raising his head to stare into the sigil on the wall resolutely, his eyes glowing a faint crimson.

There is a profound sadness in the bond, shared with their God, "I will not hurt them, my First. You have my word."

"Keep it, please. Or you will lose me. You've granted my wish... I implore you not to threaten it."

"I will lo...?" Sleep's voices seem to break into something deeply hurt, "Very well. I will not hurt the Third, nor the Second. Now, leave us, my First. I wish to speak with him."

Frustration and fear cloud His words before it is smoothed over into something ice cold to hide the hurt. III feels surprisingly... sympathetic.

"Are you certain you will be alright?" Vessel turns to III before he leaves, six eyes full of question as they scan his face.

III waves him off nonchalantly while they nod. Vessel stares down at him in scrutiny for a moment longer before slowly patting III's head only once. His footsteps make no sound as he glides out of the room and shuts the door behind him.

"A truly bewitching creature." Sleep muses, affection bleeding into their words as easily as breathing, if the God even breathes.

The golden flame flickers, shining brightly in the room as a fog roils around III's stomach, covering the flooring up so thickly III can't see their own legs. A veil seems to settle over III's head, weighing him down, shoulders hunching forward.

"Now, my Third. Your and the Second's insolence stems from your love for the First." Sleep practically spits, tone startling different from mere seconds ago, before all of their voices seem to sigh, the sound of it mismatched and echoing all around III.

The same tendrils keeping III's mouth shut wrap around their legs to keep them in place.

"I wanted vessels who would love him, who would not hurt him. I suppose I've found just what I was looking for, if you're so willing to anger me on his behalf. I told him your love was true, fleeting as it may prove to be." Sleep gripes, keeping III motionless and silent as their knees begin to ache.

"I- I apologize." Sleep spits out the apology like He'd sucked on a lemon.

III isn't sure why they picture a pinched face when they think of what sort of expression Sleep must be making, but he's sure he's right. Sleep continues, "I do not take kindly to demands. I... do not entirely understand humans and how they function. Much of my knowledge stems from my Firsts' experiences."

'Watch us, and learn, then. We are yours, but you are also ours. Learn from us as we learn from you.' III wants to say aloud, wants to scream until Sleep listens to him, but they settle with speaking with the God over the bond, pulling tightly on it so Sleep will listen, 'I love Vessel dearly, but his life has torn him apart from theinside out. He understands human emotion better than you, but he has only ever experienced a skewed version of love. What he has undergone is not love. Those before II and I, did not love him, not truly. We love him.'

"My First's physical state, self-inflicted injuries aside, has shown remarkable improvement in functionality. I have never seen him quite so... lively. Not since he was a young little thing. I thank you, even if we do not know the extent of the consequences his sleep will bring. Already, my earthly realm is changing, pieces of the realm I reside in bleeding over into the other plane. My First has more control over my realm than I had originally thought... My own doing, no doubt."

Sleep continues, "I... I will take care from now on to watch all three of you. Not just my First. Your voice will be returned to you, my Third. Oh, and take these, for the First and Second. Jewelry to disguise themselves around other humans. Use your own divine gift for the same purpose, Third."

Weight settles in III's hands, the appendages feeling distant from his mind and yet their fingers clasp around the items tightly. "Your voice will be returned to you when awareness flows back into your body. As of now, your mind is in a state of rest, on the cusp of sleeping. I hope it will bring us closer, so that next time I call upon you, Third, you will recognize it as myself doing so."

III nods, the action feeling distant, as though it was performed by someone else. Despite his body not feeling like their own, their mind is clear.

'Thank you, Sleep. Can I risk your rage once more? There is something I need to tell you.'

Apprehension colors Sleep's voices but He allows III to say what he will.

'I am not an idiot, Sleep, despite what my human peers thought. Vessel is your favorite, that is clear. But you chose us, too. We worship you just the same. All three of us are meant to be yours. I feel it in my soul, just as I feel it with II and Vessel. I want to be here with you, with them. Do not... I beg of you not to push us away. Don't make Vessel choose between us, or you.'

Sleep does not say anything further, contemplative in His silence, but their presence is cool against III's back, like a hand has come to rest on the sigil painting their lower back. It tingles under the phantom touch, long after that touch is lifted.

Vessel clings to III when the other comes to, still sat on his legs in worship. They blink in mild confusion, immediately getting an armful of Vessel to III's delight. The fog has lifted, no traces of it lingering on the floor, but III isn't surprised. The veil he had felt over his head seems to have lifted, too. III is too disoriented still to register that Vessel had briefly hugged him, such a quick thing that it didn't feel like much of a hug at all. Still, III cherishes the action dearly.

"I'm alright, Ves. Sleep apologized, and said He would try to do better."

"He returned your voice!" Vessel's face lights up with a smile.

"I did." Sleep's voices sounds through the room, "I have called the Second here, stay."

"Of course, Sleep." Vessel answers, arms wrapping around one of III's own, head coming to linger close to III's as though he wants to lean into them further.

"For you, from Sleep. He says you and II can use these to look human, while I will use my magic." III says, handing Vessel the necklace held tightly in III's fist.

"My necklace? Did He enchant it somehow?" Vessel asks rhetorically, taking the necklace gingerly.

The coin necklace looks just the same as Vessel remembers, having seen it just this morning in his bedside drawer, but he supposes a bit of Sleep's magic now swirls through the chain. Vessel thanks III for the necklace, holding it in hand while he leans his head on III's shoulder. He remains close to III even when II comes in, rubbing tired eyes. Sleep must have woken him from his nap.

Vessel and III remain on the floor, so II simply joins them on III's other side, placing a hand on III's thigh.

"Wait no longer. Tell him of your new manager, Second."

II's tired face scrunches in worry, but does as told, Bristol accent thick with sleep, "Sleep got us a manager for our band. We- We have a meeting with him tomorrow, at the record label he works under. I couldn't push it back any further or he was going to let us go regardless of Sleep's influence. We, uh, need to choose a name before we meet with him."

Straight away, Vessel's bond floods with anxiety. He doesn't say anything for a moment, only nods, trying to hide his face in the space between III's neck and shoulder.

Vessel speaks up quietly, surprising II and III who had expected him to remain silent due to his clear panic, "The band is an offering to Sleep, each song a token of our devotion. Sleep Token."

Vessel's six eyes go a little wide in startled apprehension, pulling away from III to look at both of them properly, "I mean, only if neither of you have any better ideas. I- You both probably do have something better than-"

"It's perfect." II states firmly, and it really is perfect.

II may have his strong opinions on the way Sleep handles Vessel's physical health, but II still cares for the God. He brought II from death, saved him, promised him fame and acknowledgement for his hard work in life. He brought him to Vessel, brought him III.

"Yeah, it's a neat name, Sugar. I was gonna offer up Sleep's Eepies. Or The Sleepies."

"The Vessels." II tacks on with an amused smile, tracing a subconscious pattern into III's thigh with a thumb.

Vessel's own amused smile is slow to lift his lips, lopsided and adorable. "You just wanted to name us after our group chat?"

"Why not?" III shrugs with a wide mirthful grin.

"Are you sure you're ready for all of this, Ves? You've barely been able to sing in front of us even with your mask. I know your voice is good, and we have a decent amount of songs written now, I just- I worry for you." II says, concerned.

"As ready as I will ever be. Circumstances have led us to putting this off for too long. It is time we do as we were made to, worship musically and bring in more worshippers. I need to do this. I can- I can force myself to sing if I must. The mask will help. It will be different, too. A proper ritual. Sleep will likely have more to do with it than He does when we practice."

"Yes, my First. You'll most assuredly feel me more strongly. You will do well, I know it. Do not fret. Hand over the Seconds gift, my Third. The coin necklace is a gift from my earthly realm. It deemed fit to bestow you a token of gratitude, First. I have placed a spell on it, to grant you the ability to take on your previous human appearance." Sleep explains as III hands II the necklace clutched in their hand, "The necklace is a gift to the Second from myself, for the same purpose."

"Is there not risk of danger, for us to be perfectly alive when we've all legally died?" III questions, voicing the thoughts of all the vessels.

"No, my Third. You came to the manor as your human selves. The only danger is potentially meeting those from your past, but my earthly realm is nowhere near any of them. There should be no real danger. Keep your identities hidden from the world except a trusted few, if you find any humans worthy of that trust. Your previous names will be written on any needed documents but a bit of magic will keep anyone from looking into them."

Vessel is silent throughout the conversation, eyeing II's new necklace as he fingers his own. Two drumsticks crossed over each other, with air streaking off of them like they were being spun. It makes the drumsticks look like scythes. A fitting piece of jewelry for II, Vessel thinks.

"You may all leave, if you wish. I will not be calling upon you today, nor tomorrow, my First. There will be much to do once speaking with that human manager of yours."

"Thank you for returning my voice." III says as they all stand.

None of the vessels move apart from each other, remaining close.

"I took it from you in my anger. It is only right I return it at some point." Sleep brushes off the thanks, but III knows, now, that the God appreciates their words.

He's about as attuned to his own emotions as Vessel is. III lets out a little sigh as everyone makes their way down to the main floor of the manor. From what III garnered, Sleep was about as emotionally intelligent as a rock, except about love, apparently.

And that comment Sleep had made about Vessel... He had implied He knew Vessel when he was a child...

How long did Sleep linger around Vessel before choosing him as the First? Or was Vessel always meant to be the First? The conversation certainly gave III some food for thought, but he would much prefer actual food as their stomach growls loudly.

"I'll cook you something, pretty." II says, not bothering to look back as he moves to the kitchen, III and Vessel following hand in hand without a word.

Vessel and II work together to make III something filling, but light. II refuses to let III help cook, having him sit on the counter while he and Vessel worked. It took more time than it would have if II had done it by himself, but Vessel had quietly asked to help, and II wouldn't refuse him much of anything.

It certainly didn't help that III wouldn't stop grabbing one of them by the shoulder when they passed, pulling them into a soft kiss before letting them continue. II and Vessel had no complaints to give.

III inhales their food voraciously, a man starved. The rest of the day is spent in front of the couch, watching Fairy Tail cuddled close with blankets and pillows covering the floor around them for comfort. Snacks galore are piled up on the coffee table, the last of their stash. None of them watched too much of the show itself, despite their best efforts. II and III were far too busy sharing kisses with each other, and stealing them from Vessel.

One thing became abundantly clear to III over the course of that conversation with Sleep, a multitude of little signs piling up until the picture painted is clear to him.

Sleep is in love with Vessel, in some way or another.

::

The next morning, Vessel is getting ready to leave the manor. He dresses in a plain black long sleeve shirt and a pair of tight jeans, leaving his socks and boots for when they head out the door. Tugging his unruly hair into his preferred half up, half down style, Vessel aims for something a bit non-descript in hopes he won't get stared at as much as if he wore his fancier clothes. Vessel slips his magic infused necklace into his back pocket, its weight heavy, and heads out of his room.

"Won't you be hot in that, Ves?" III asks as Vessel passes by them in the hall, their dirt covered hands a familiar sight.

He must have just left an offering for Sleep.

"I do not wish for anyone to stare at my bandages." Vessel says, leaning into it when III pulls Vessel close with an arm around his shoulder so they can steal a quick kiss.

"If anyone says anything rude, I can just punch them." III offers with a bright grin as though he could think of nothing more fun, or deserving.

Vessel laughs quietly, which causes III to grin even bigger, stealing another kiss. "As much as I think you'd enjoy that, we don't need you getting arrested the very day we meet the manager for our band."

"You guys would bail me out with Sleep's money. Besides, if someone did say something rude, it would be a deserved punishment and I wouldn't even mind the jailtime." III shrugs with one shoulder, still not quite letting Vessel go.

They've completely stopped in the hall now, but Vessel doesn't mind, in no true rush to leave. "I need to go finish getting ready, I'll see you in a bit." III says, placing one last chaste kiss to Vessel's cheek before bounding off.

Vessel heads down to the bathroom to reluctantly see himself as a human again. Its something he knows he must do, out of curiosity or a need to see what had made him so unlovable that only a God cared for him once he'd already perished. He fiddles with the coin necklace in front of him as he walks, passing by II who is sat on the last step clutching Elvira close to his chest, cooing at her like she were a babe. Its endearing, and Vessel brushes his hand over II's head as he passes.

He doesn't bother closing the bathroom door, only stares at himself in the mirror for what feels like forever before his head falls to look at the sink, at his mask placed on the porcelain counter to its side. Slowly, he lifts up the necklace and pulls it over his head. The weight of it settles over his chest and Vessel cannot seem to force himself to look up, to see.

Biting his lip harshly, Vessel does manage it.

He takes one glance in the mirror, at the single set of dull blue eyes speckled faintly with lighter blue shades, the rounded, human ears and the lack of Sleep's markings anywhere on his body, and puts his mask on to deter himself from tearing into the supple flesh of his face with his nails. The necklace slips over his head and is stuffed in his pocket again before even ten seconds have passed. He cannot stand the sight of himself from Before.

There is relief in seeing himself as he is, knowing what he looks like now under his mask. This is who he is, all the otherworldly inhuman parts of himself mixed with who he was Before, ugly, unsightly. A face made for radio, his boyfriend had said, the first time Vessel had played a song for him.

He supposes there is beauty too, in the features he shares with Sleep. The only parts of himself he has grown to appreciate to some extent. Only for his God.

Stepping out of the bathroom, II waits for him, leant against the wall. "Are you alright, my love? I felt how upset you were in the bond. Three was going to ask you about it but I encouraged him to finish getting dressed instead." He says, pushing off the wall to step forward and take Vessel's hands.

They tremble in his tender hold, and Vessel crumbles at the softness of II's sky blue eyes. "I do not like being glamoured, nor without my mask. I.. I do not have a face worth looking at."

II's eyed are sad, but his smile is kind as he contemplates what to say. Vessel lets him think, shuffling forward to be just that little bit closer to him.

"When I first saw you, sobbing with two new sets of eyes... I thought you were the most beautiful man I'd ever seen. When I saw you, moments ago, entirely human without any trace of Sleep's marks, I still thought that exact thing. My breath got caught in my chest and I was awestruck. You're beautiful Vessel, glamoured or not. Without your mask, or with it."

Fresh tears well up in Vessel's eyes, overcome with such strong love, such hope and disbelief. He manages to keep them from falling, but his voice cracks and breaks often, "I do not see what you see. I do not feel beautiful. I do not feel worthy of your affection, your kind words. Your love. I want to, though. You and Three... you're both so... so wonderful. I want to feel worth your love."

"You are worth our love, sweetheart, and we're trying to help you realize that." II says gently, bringing his hands, and subsequently Vessel's own hands, up to cup Vessel's cheeks.

Vessel's hands are cold on his face, warmth from II's hands a stark contrast. His eyes flutter at the affection, staring down at II with such blatant adoration that II feels nearly overcome by it.

"I know. You've helped me so much, in my ways than one. Even before Three got here. It means the world to me that you care enough to try when I don't des- Don't feel like I deserve it."

"I'm proud of you for making the distinction between not deserving something and feeling like you don't deserve something. That's important, Ves." II smiles up at him, and Vessel knows he would lay the world to waste if anything ever happened to the shorter man.

Vessel wants to see II as he is, without the glamor keeping him human. His eyes seem dimmer, not so bright of a blue without the black sclera surrounding the irises. Seeing his usual nose ring and eyebrow piercing is reassuring in ways Vessel didn't think it would be, the familiarity a godsend.

Vessel's answering smile is wobbly, but pleased in a muted, unsure sort of way.

Three little words are on the tip of Vessel's tongue. He wants to say them, doesn't want to let the fear that holds his tongue keep him from telling II he loves him, even if II doesn't say it first.

Vessel opens his mouth to speak, to tell II that he loves him-

"Are you boys ready? We need to be there in a few hours and its at least an hour drive. I want to find a sex shop. Oh, and we need to get that mattress for the living room! And groceries!" III calls, cockney accent thick, footsteps heard as they make their way down the staircase.

Vessel's mouth shuts, but his lips remain curled into a lopsided smile. II huffs out a laugh with an eye roll, standing up on his tippy toes to plant a chaste kiss to Vessel's lips. Vessel leans down a little so II doesn't strain himself trying, pressing his own kiss to II's forehead. He lingers there, foreheads touching, before he pulls away.

One day, Vessel will tell them. When he gathers the courage.

::

The further away from the manor they drive, the less of Sleep the vessels can feel. The tether connecting Vessel with Sleep grows thinner with distance, but at least Vessel can still feel him, faint whispers in his ear that he cannot discern. II and III cannot feel Him like Vessel can, only a faint trickle of His presence in the backs of their minds. No words can be shared with the God, the distance from His realm too great.

Finding a sex shop is a quick Google search and a five minute drive deeper into the city when they arrive not more than an hour and a half later. Vessel feels uncomfortable with the necklace on, but knows he can't go without it. III's own magic keeps him well disguised, a surprise to see for Vessel who had been asleep over the week it took III to master changing their features. Despite how easy looking human has become for them, they still struggle to control the spider limbs while II works on overcoming that fear of his.

Vessel is too embarrassed to ask much about the things he was curiously looking over at the sex shop, but II and III don't fault him for his lack of knowledge, nor the embarrassment. They take time to explain what certain things are, like the cock rings and the leather collars.

"Are you the sort of brat into collars?" II asks while they look at the section containing a small wall of different types of collars.

"I've never actually tried it. Are you the sort of dom into collaring your brats, sir?" III replies with a question of their own, smirking down at II with mirth shining in their eyes.

II carefully averts his gaze back to a bright red one with blunt, spiked silver studding, "I think your slender neck would look even prettier with something around it."

"You could just use your hand as a necklace, Doll."

"Such a naughty boy. I'll keep that in mind. How about this one, then?" II says with a playful gleam in his eye, pulling a baby blue collar from the rack that III had been very blatantly staring at.

III flushes red, "Oh, you were serious?"

"Quite. Were you not?" II queries, perceptive as always while Vessel watches their exchange silently.

"I appreciate you taking me so seriously, sir, but I've never been truly interested in having one. Some of these are just really pretty." III admits, uncharacteristically shy, and II nods in understanding.

"Okay, that's fine, then. If you ever want one, I wouldn't be opposed. Vessel, lovely, come here a second." Vessel startles, having been listening quietly as II and III went back and forth, trying to follow the conversation.

He wanders a little closer, right beside II as the smaller man speaks again, "Do you think you'd be interested in trying these out?"

Vessel looks at the rack stock full of collars of different colors and designs, glancing back at II nervously, then over to III. "What are these for?"

"Its a type of possession thing, Ves. Or a sign of devotion. Ownership, too, I think. There's a few different meanings and it can be different for everyone who wants to wear one. They can be used for breathplay, I think? I'm not entirely certain." II explains, waving his hands for emphasis.

"If you want to get me one you can." Vessel says, instead of offering a clear answer.

"It doesn't seem like you actually want one, Ves, so we'll hold off on the collars." II refuses for him, and Vessel cannot help the instant relief he feels. "Actually, its probably best we hold off on any of that until we've all gotten to know each others bodies and tells better."

"You're probably right, Doll." III agrees, also clocking in on just how relieved Vessel was with II's refusal.

Vessel not being ready for it is why III hasn't asked for lewd photos yet, why II has yet to go to Vessel to have sex, choosing instead to wait for him to come to II. III didn't have quite that much patience, and can't bring himself to regret the sex he'd had with Vessel. Perhaps III pushed him too far, too soon, but Vessel has opened up to them more, and is far more willing to talk about sex than he is his other traumas.

"I'm going to go grab some lube, feel free to stay here or look around." II says, patting III on the arm and wandering off.

III takes Vessel's hand, pulling the other to a different rack in the store, not too far from where they were before. Vessel keeps close, eyeing the whips and canes apprehensively. III makes sure to steer them away from the more pain oriented sections, and towards the shelves of butt plugs and dildos. Vessel is leaning into III, their shoulders pressed close, as III hums, idly scanning the small selection of butt plugs.

"Um... What exactly is lube?" Vessel asks quietly, shying away when III levels a blank stare at him.

"You don't know- Uh, lube is short for lubricant. Its to make sex easier. To be more specific for our needs it makes anal sex easier since your ass doesn't uh, create its own lubricant like a vagina? So you would put it on your dick so it slides better. Less pain and discomfort that way." III tries his best to explain but his brain is caught entirely on the fact that Vessel has no clue what lube is.

Its practically a requirement for anal sex, especially with another man and Vessel doesn't- Holy shit, did Vessel's first partner, the one man Vessel said he ever slept with, not use fucking lube?!

"I mean, you can use spit if you need something quick, but lube is just easier and works far better." III continues to try and stop themselves from traveling down that dark road of thought as Vessel slowly nods, a strange expression on his face.

"Did your first partner... not use lube when you had sex?" III asks carefully, trying to reel in the mounting anger they can feel building under their skin.

If they're not careful, a slip up in control caused by high emotions will cause their magic disguise to blink away, and III absolutely cannot let that happen, not in public like this.

II comes back with a couple large bottles of lube in time for the tail end of III's explanation, a concerned expression on his face. "No... Based on your explanation, I take it he was supposed to?"

"Yes, my dear, he was. Unless he has the world's smallest penis, anal sex requires lube or else its painful. Is this what you meant when you said your ex-boyfriend was rough?" II interjects before III can accidentally say something biting, that would cause Vessel to shy away further even if the anger wasn't directed at him but at his ex.

Vessel nods before quietly explaining further, "My whole jaw would ache for days, in the beginning, when I first started giving him blow jobs. It hurt less than the sex, so I couldn't find it in me to mind that much. He got so mad when I threw up that first time, but I still had a gag reflex then. I- I couldn't breathe and- and my throat- It hurt to talk because the back of my throat was so bruised, and my jaw-"

Vessel cuts himself off when he finally looks up and notices the thunderous expressions on II and III's faces. Those looks always seem to appear whenever Vessel speaks about his past. Has he... done something wrong? Maybe he shouldn't have started off with the bit about his first blow job experience, it had nothing to do with what was asked. II probably wasn't even asking about that, but perhaps the act of sex itself?

"You mentioned before that you- That you didn't bleed when we had sex. You were surprised. You don't know what lube is, and you didn't know what prepping was." III is thankful that the shop is pretty empty aside from the borderline asleep clerk at the counter by the door as he struggles to keep his voice low.

Vessel nods along, nervous about the anger in III's voice, stepping away to wrap his arms around himself. III's expression sours further, hand twitching up as though they want to reach out and pull Vessel back to their side. They stop when the skin on their arm flickers, a half-transformed arm flashing into view for a moment. He's grateful when II steps forward, wrapping an arm around Vessel's waist and pulling him close in III's stead.

"Was it... every time? Did you bleed every time? Did it hurt?" III asks, stilted like they don't think they can stomach the answer Vessel will give.

A short nod is the only answer Vessel offers, and III's face screws up into something agonized. II isn't faring much better, but is well versed in remaining composed in stressful situations if its required of him. With III crumbling in front of them and Vessel silent as a grave, it is required of him.

"That man did more than a disservice to you. He- Fuck, Ves- I'll be right back, I need to calm down before I lose my control." III doesn't wait to hear II protest, already leaving the store entirely.

"He- He can't- Its not safe. We shouldn't split up. Its not safe." Vessel tries to keep the terror out of his voice but all he can think about is that bastard straddling III, the fear in III's eyes even after they'd knocked him off, and the bruise that took so long to heal.

"Its okay, love, Three is fine. He's not too distant in the bond which means they didn't wander far." II tries to reassure, but he's sure it falls short in the face of his own discomfort at III not being at their sides out in a public space.

"Did I... Did I do something wrong? Are they upset with me? I- I didn't mean to make him upset. If- If they get hurt its my fault." Vessel whimpers, burying his face into II's hair.

His arms wrap around himself tighter, wishing he could ask II to hug him instead. He won't.

"No, no, Ves, it wouldn't be your fault at all. Three's fine, just- He's upset at what you've experienced, my love. I'm upset too, trust me, but neither of us are upset with you. Lets buy this and get out of here, we have a couple other places to go before we meet our manager. We all need a breather first."

The clerk rings up their items with barely any pleasantries, tired eyes not even glancing at them more than once. II is grateful for it, getting out of the store quickly. III is leaning on their car when he and Vessel leave the shop, visibly calmer even at a distance. One arm is held out it front of them as III observes the appendage for any traces of Sleep's markings or less human features.

They look up when II and Vessel near, standing up proper at the sight of them. III apologizes quietly, wrapping one arm around II in a hug and bringing them both forward to pull Vessel close by the nape of his neck, planting a gentle kiss on his forehead. Vessel leans into it, craving the affection desperately.

"Better now?" II asks, cupping III's jaw lovingly.

"Yes. Sorry to leave, my markings were returning and I was so angry. I still am. I- I don't know what to say, Ves, except you didn't deserve anything that has happened to you. Not a bit of it, and it makes me so upset that I can't take back all that has been done to you."

Vessel looks at III, gaze assessing both their expression and the bond, finding no lie. III means everything he says. Uncharacteristically, Vessel doesn't wilt in the face of their concern.

"I'm not sorry. Everything that happened led me to Sleep. Led me to you and Two. I wouldn't change anything, not at the risk of losing this." Vessel states, uncomfortable at baring his heart so freely, but he knows now that they're different from his past partners in a way that lets him feel a little less shackled by what has happened to him.

Only a little.

Tears well up in III's pretty blue eyes, and he's pulling away from II to cup Vessel's face, mindful of the band-aids. The kiss they plant on Vessel's lips is full of love and pain, leaving no room for Vessel to deny it.

"I love you."

Unbidden, Vessel's mind flashes to his ex girlfriend, how she had looked when she said those words to him. It sounded nothing like this, felt nothing like this.

She'd hurt him and then used her love as an apology. Loving him didn't make the pain she had caused him hurt any less. It didn't fix the wounds in his hands or on his face... or that she was the cause. What was so wrong with him that made the people who loved him want to hurt him so badly?

"I love you too."

Vessel wants their love for him to last.

III places another kiss to Vessel's lips before pulling away, swiping the keys from II's pocket with a wobbly smile. "Where to next? We still have a couple hours until we need to meet our manager."

Blessedly, III's almost imperceptible sigh of relief follows II taking the words for what they were, a means of moving past the stressful few minutes they'd experienced. He ushers III into the passenger seat, who goes with a strained laugh, fiddling with the radio after II starts the car. III puts on one of Vessel's cd's, a Bullet For My Valentine album from his collection. It makes Vessel smile, which in turn causes III to smile, happy to have brought some light back to Vessel's eyes. III watches in the rear view mirror as Vessel mouths along to the lyrics, attention forced back to II when the other settled a hand on their thigh. III's own hand comes down to rest on the appendage, picking it up to kiss each of II's fingers before pushing it away so II can have both hands on the steering wheel.

After the sex shop, they find a mattress store, buying a large king size mattress for the living room. It weighs Vessel's car down comically, but its still drivable. III had gotten into the car and laughed so hard he cried after they saw the look on the workers faces when II picked up the whole mattress by himself and put it up on the car's roof. Everyone was visibly less tense once III had seemed o have gone back to normal, and the guilt that had infested Vessel's bond ever since the sex shop cleared away.

The tranquility didn't last long once it was finally time to meet their manager. Vessel is so overcome with nerves that he can't stop shaking. The necklace feels heavy around his neck, like a too tight second skin. He knows it only feels that way, and that in reality, there is no way to tell he is glamoured at all. He feels sick with his nerves, mask clenched tightly in his hands as he stares down at it in his lap. II sits in the backseat with him, flush against Vessel's side with II's hand on his thigh. He'd climbed back with Vessel once the other started to breathe too heavily to be normal while they waited for their meeting time to come up.

III is braiding a section of his hair beside his ear with the help of the visor mirror, nervous, too. II is trying to go through all of what he knows about what the meeting will entail, the name of their manager, any info he has to lessen Vessel's anxiety over it. It helps, only a little, but Vessel is thankful anyway. Places his hand over II's on his thigh and squeezes gently, just once, to express his gratitude.

Vessel is thankful they brought their masks in, II having already told their manager over the phone that they would be a masked band, completely anonymous.

Introducing himself to their manager is nerve wracking, stumbling over his chosen name. He is glad when II steps in front of him, just slightly, as though the smaller man could shield Vessel from the odd look their new manager was giving all of them, likely for their names and the divine air around them. Vessel expects questions, expects to be asked to sing so the man, Johnny, can properly gage whether he wants to take them on or not. Sleep's influence over him, however that was done, must make it so Johnny doesn't actually care if they're decent or not.

The meeting itself, after introductions, is tense, but perhaps only to Vessel. II and III handle themselves much better, placing themselves on either of Vessel's sides, like human shields. Knowing Johnny's name beforehand helped, as well as smaller details that II had told him. Vessel will have to thank II later. He was more prepared than he thought he was, and its thanks to II's forethought in regards to Vessel's anxiety. Johnny doesn't argue when II and III lay out some rules, but his odd look remains. No recorded interviews unless the band themselves give explicit permission, no face reveals, their "stage" names will be all that is used at all times. II had fought against Johnny's insistence that their crew would need to see who they were, but ultimately only managed to put in place a contract for their crew. Severe legal action would be taken if any crew or venue leaked any personal information or photos.

The vessels hoped it would be enough to deter people from going against their wishes for privacy. Signing the paperwork is the easiest part, all of their past names being written with muscles memory even if none of them can read them. Johnny doesn't spare the signatures a second glance, and Sleep had already reassured them that no one would look into the names enough to find out that they're all legally dead. A touch of magic was over the paper detailing their terms for anonymity, as though the document was not just legally binding, but magically, too.

When all of the paperwork is done, Johnny tells them that he's got a few guitarists picked out already that are around what they'll need, Sleep's presence sparking in interest in Vessel's chest. Its only a matter of choosing the one they want for touring. Vessel is nervous about this, too, wondering if their Fourth will be there. Just because Sleep said it isn't time, it doesn't mean that they won't meet their Fourth prematurely like what happened with III. Granted, Vessel believes III to have been chosen by that point, and Sleep had merely been waiting for them to die.

Johnny sends them off with a scheduled meeting for their potential guitarists and a wave. They pretend not to notice when the man grumbles upon their exit, disgruntled by the meeting. Vessel disappears to write and play his piano once they're back at the manor, mask fitted over his face. II and III leave him to it, sensing his need for time to himself after the days grueling events.

They're all a little disappointed when none of the guitarists that arrive two days later at the set meeting time seem to be the Fourth, but pick one regardless for the ability to play an eight string and what seems to be a good personality.

His name is Nick, short for Nicholas, but he had insisted on the nickname. He's shorter than III and Vessel but taller than II, with a squared face and bright, honey brown eyes. His smile is kind, and yet Vessel is... unsettled by it.

From the moment he introduced himself, shook Vessel's hand, it was like something had crawled under his skin. II and III didn't seem to sense anything amiss with Nick, not like Vessel.

"What's with the bandages?" Nick asks, looking down at Vessel's bandaged arms and hand with a curious grin.

Vessel shrinks away with a nervous smile, unable to go far while Nick still grips his hand. He wants Nick to let go, hates the feeling of bugs on his skin like when he suffered through his transformation. Vessel tugs his sleeve back down, not even having realized it had ridden up.

"I'm sorry, but that doesn't seem to be any of your business." III grins back, friendly but assertive. "Mind letting his hand go now?"

"Oh, sure. My apologies, uh, Three. Just trying to make conversation." Nick says sheepishly, letting Vessel's hand go finally, only to bring it up and rub the nape of his neck.

It feels performative to Vessel, but III seems to relax. Maybe Vessel is looking into things too far. All of his social interaction has stemmed from II, III, and Sleep for so long now, maybe he is just out of touch. Vessel has never been good with people, even Before. It was a wonder he'd managed to get any partners at all.

Vessel holds his hand close to his chest the rest of the meeting as II and III talk to Nick about his previous gigs for touring bands and when he's available for practice. Vague flashes of his time undergoing his transformation torment him, the icky sludge of the memories coating the bond heavily enough for the others to notice, II stepping close and wrapping an arm around Vessel's waist. The soothing touch helps, as II's presence always does. Vessel leans into it, available hand coming down to rest overtop II's on his side, threading their fingers together. The meeting couldn't pass by fast enough, time seeming to drag on as it was eventually decided that Nick would be coming home with them for their first day of practice, unofficially.

Vessel had felt eyes on him the entire time, and wishes the icky feeling over his skin would go away.

The car ride home was filled with the low sound of Ghost on the radio and the idle chatter III had with Nick with II giving his input occasionally. Blessedly, III insisted Vessel sit up front as he crawled in the back seat behind him. Vessel was too thankful to protest much, remaining silent the entire ride back, holding II's hand on his thigh like a lifeline.

"Two, are you and Vessel close? You're awfully touchy." Nick comments, eyeing the two of them in the front seat.

Vessel shrinks into his seat, holding II's hand tighter. "We're together, romantically. All three of us, actually."

Nick smiles, nodding along, "Oh, alright then. Not a problem at all. I was just curious. Suppose I'll be the odd one out then."

No one says anything in reply to that, and Vessel isn't sure what he would have said if he could move past his anxiety, anyway.

"Are you not worried about what will happen to the band when you break up? Sorry, if."

"There are no plans of us ever breaking off our relationship." III insists just as II opens his mouth to say the same thing.

"Well, that's never set in stone. I'm happy for you though." Nick says, starting up the conversation he'd been having with III again, III's brow furrowed just slightly in consternation.

It smoothes out over time, Nick's charming but forward personality setting III at ease the longer they talk.

An unpleasant feeling settles in Vessel's gut when the car passes the boundary line between Sleep's earthly realm and the rest of the world. Sleep's magic thickens, swelling in the car as it settled back into the vessels bones. Nick shivers in his seat, pausing mid-sentence for a moment.

"Did you feel that?" He asks, rubbing his arms to rid them of the goosebumps that had sprouted.

"Felt what, mate?" III asks, an easy smile painted on.

If his canines looked a little sharper, well, Nick was too unsettled to notice them, nor the slight glow to all of their eyes as their God's magic coated their insides again.

"It must have been the air conditioning getting to me. It's cold in here." Nick brushes it off, thankfully, turning in his seat a little to watch out the window as the large trees roll by, view hindered by the mattress on the car.

The feeling was made worse when Nick actually stepped foot into the house.

Elvira, who had come to the foyer as soon as they opened the front door, hisses at Nick when he bends down to pet her. She slaps a clawed paw out, nearly catching Nick's hand with it, who only laughs while II apologizes, horrified.

Vessel watches Elvira bound off, tail raised and fur standing on end, and feels a sense of kinship with the cat.

"So you all live together out in the woods? That's kinda creepy." Nick comments, following II and III in taking his shoes off at the door, "This place is super old too. The outside looks way worse than the inside, though. All those plants climbing the walls, even in here."

Vessel places his boots down beside III's, bristling like the vines Nick next speaks about when he says, "You should probably get the ones inside removed. They're kind of unsightly."

Sleep's displeasure thrums through the bond alongside Vessel's, His presence sweeping into the room and sending shivers down all of their spines. Nick glances around discreetly, as though searching for something, head tilted just so to the side.

"I like them." III interjects before Sleep can do something they couldn't possibly explain to the cops, trying to keep his smile kind even as his eyes glint with steel, "They were here when we arrived and haven't messed up the infrastructure. This place is old, but it is home. I would appreciate any criticism be kept to yourself."

An annoyed expression flashes over Nick's face for only a millisecond before it is smoothed into an apologetic smile. "Alright, sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. Where do you guys practice? Will I be called Four from now on?"

Vessel barely stifles an angry hiss, turning his head away when II raises a confused eyebrow in his direction. As III drags Nick off to the practice room, II catches Vessel by the hand before the other can follow.

"You don't like him?"

No, Vessel doesn't like him. Not one bit.

Still, Vessel smiles reassuringly. What he says next isn't quite a lie,  "It's not that. I just... I don't like anyone but us here."

II's confused gaze seems to soften in understanding, "I understand, love. You're safe here, and to have someone encroach on your safe space is uncomfortable. You can go unwind in your room, or any of ours, whenever you need to."

"Thank you. Go ahead to the practice room, I'm going to go find Ellie... Maybe stay in your room for a little while."

"Of course, sweetheart, go on ahead. Don't feel pressured to join us this time, but do remember we need to practice all together soon." II replies, getting up on his tippy toes to kiss Vessel's jaw.

Vessel leans down so II can kiss him proper, smiling into it despite the anxiety still clawing at his empty ribcage.

II goes to grab the mattress off the car, bringing it in while Vessel wanders off to find Elvira. He searches every room in the house twice over before finding her curled under Vessel's bed, hissing at him. Her bright eyes seem to glow in the darkness, the only thing visible to his currently human vision.

When Elvira notices its Vessel, she stops hissing but refuses to come out. If Vessel could crawl under there with her, he would, but he's too tall and stuffed far too many books into the space.

Vessel keeps his voice nice and soft, trying to coax her out from hiding, "Please come out Ellie, don't you want to go lay down in Two's room? Take a nap with me surrounded by all of Two's things? It'll be nice, I promise. No Nick to make us uncomfortable."

Elvira inches forward, just close enough for Vessel to grab her and pull her out from under the bed carefully. Vessel holds her to his chest as soon as she's out, nuzzling into her black fur. She licks once or twice at the band-aids on Vessel's cheek before settling into his arms. Taking this as his cue to get up, Vessel grabs his stuffie from his bed and heads down the hall to II's room. Vessel curls up under II's bedsheets, holding his plague doctor close. The smell of II, something distinct that Vessel can't name, wafts into his nostrils, helping to soothe Vessel's frayed nerves. Elvira rubs her head against Vessel's jaw and down over his shoulder, meowing lowly all the while before settling in at his side. He does eventually fall to sleep like that, slowly petting her soft fur, hidden away in II's dark room.

Nick is there for the rest of the day as II and III go over their music with him so he can get a start on familiarizing himself with his parts. Vessel remains sequestered away in II's room, wrapped up in his bedsheets as he tries to get over the tremble in his frame. Elvira purrs from her spot cuddled up to his chest, kneading into his arm as he holds her close. He can feel II's drums faintly reverberating through the floor, somehow comforted by the sound as he is surrounded by the other man's scent. III's bass is thrumming, too, another comfort to his enhanced hearing.

Nick is playing the guitar notes beautifully. He is truly skilled to have already picked up one of Vessel's songs so soon. It sounds faintly like Thread The Needle, a song deeply connected with Vessel meeting Sleep.

It couldn't be any sooner that Nick decides to head out for the day, II collecting Vessel so they can drive him back into the city. Vessel is reluctant to leave Ellie alone on II's bed but allows II to drag him down the staircase to the foyer. No one wants to let any of them leave the house alone. They all pile back into the car to drive Nick back to where they'd met up for the interviews. Vessel bristles again when III puts them all in a group chat so they can schedule things and talk easier.

He feels silly, childish, for immediately not liking a man that II and III seem perfectly fine with. They're able to handle his forward personality far better than Vessel is. That must be the problem, Vessel reasons. He's... He's just not used to anyone other than the vessels so he's.... struggling to adapt?

He sounds like II or III but somehow far less wise, and more petulant.

Nick hops into his own vehicle with a smile and a wave, driving off when everyone waves back. Vessel relaxes immediately once Four is gone, finding himself exhausted by the events of the past few days. All the anxiety from meeting their manager, telling the other vessels more about his past sexual experiences... meeting Nick, bringing him to the manor in a space that usually made Vessel feel a little at ease...

It all left him drained, but with an excuse to take time for himself and think once they get bac to the manor. There is so much to do, an EP to properly record and put out, planning for future shows, deciding what their image will be... Vessel is wrought with anxiety just thinking about it.

"Are you okay, Sugar?" III asks from the drivers seat.

Vessel expects II to get into the passenger seat now that Nick is gone, but he remains in the back with Vessel.

Vessel hums an agreement, immediately slipping his necklace off. Only then can Vessel take in a deep breath, tight chest loosening. He feels like himself again, six eyes focusing as he blinks profusely. II takes this as his cue to remove his own necklace, and Vessel feels relief as II's true form is revealed. II is beautiful no matter what form he takes, but Vessel knows he will always prefer him with all of his Sleep given markings. III keeps his glamor up since he still has to drive home, but lets their eyes go back to normal, black sclera swallowing the white.

"So pretty no matter how you look." II hums, brushing careful, calloused fingers under one pair of Vessel's eyes, following the curve of his cheekbone up the length of his pointed ear.

Those same ears turn pink with Vessel's blush, mumbling incoherently in disagreement as he leans into the kiss II places by one of his eyes. On the drive back to the house, Vessel feels better than he has all day. The icky, oily feeling over his skin while in Nick's presence seems to have slid away and Vessel is grateful for it. Elvira weaves through Vessel's legs once they're home, following him around the house as everyone readies for bed. Its been a long day for them all.

"Coming to bed with us, Ves?" III asks as II clutches their shirt, already half-asleep leaning on them.

His brow is furrowed in puzzlement, expectant eyes following Vessel hopefully.

Vessel feels guilty to refuse them, but he desperately needs some alone time to bleed, to release some of the itch that had made its home under his skin the moment Nick touched him.

"Okay, that's fine, pretty. Are you going to leave me without a goodnight kiss?"

Grabby hands beckon Vessel forward. Once he's in reach, III holds his face featherlight between their large hands and kisses him, effectively stealing away the breaths Vessel doesn't need.

Instinctually, Vessel chases after him when III pulls away, and instead of getting angry with him, III merely gives him another kiss. Vessel smiles into it, like always, and doesn't follow when III pulls away this time. II is tugging insistently at Vessel's shirt, tired eyes begging for a kiss of his own. Vessel leans down so II can do so, smiling into this kiss, too.

It almost makes him want to just follow them to bed instead of separating in the hall, but Vessel needs to bleed. Needs his blood spilling down his skin, staining it such a pretty crimson over the black.

"I'll join you later." Vessel compromises, a little less guilty for it.

"You will?" II mumbles out, kissing Vessel again, leisurely.

"Yes, it will be a little while though. You may be asleep by then."

"That's fine, Sugar. Do you want us to wait up for you?" III says, resting his head on II's as he leans into his back.

His taller frame swamps II's shorter one,  its cute.

Vessel tilts his head in confusion. Why would they want to stay awake until he got there? He shakes his head in refusal and III hums unintelligibly, squishing II down under him as he takes Vessel's jaw in gentle fingers and kisses him again.

All of the tender kisses are leaving Vessel dizzy with swelling affection. Any more of this and he really will just follow them to bed. He steps away to avoid that outcome, but his remaining smile is genuine.

II groans playfully as III continues smothering him under their weight, forcing II to hold him up easily as they waddle back to II's room. It's endearing, hearing them laugh freely after such a long day.

Vessel adores them so.

He waits until they're in II's room, the door cracked open behind them, to head back to his own. The knife hidden under his mattress is pulled out easily, and Vessel's strips himself of his shirt. He eyes Elvira thoughtfully, wondering if he should set her out of the room, but ultimately doesn't care if she sees. The pretty little creature is only a cat, and II and III already know he self harms.

The blade glides across his flesh like a hot knife through butter, parting a golden crack in his skin and bringing forth crimson and black blood, swirling together but never mixing. He sits and watches as cut after cut is dug into his skin, blood dripping down over the side of his arm and onto his thighs. So focused as he was on finally being able to cut himself, he didn't remember taking off his clothes other than his shirt, but its obvious he stripped down to his boxers.

At some point, Vessel stops cutting, physically feeling the icky sensation he'd struggled with all day leaving him with his lifeblood. He merely watches, eyes growing heavy, as blood trickles out of his veins.

He doesn't remember tipping over to lay on the bed, staring at his closed door with vision spotted with black dots. He doesn't remember falling asleep.

Vessel opens his eyes to his first girlfriend above him, the weight of her keeping him pinned down to the bed. He's sure if he tried, he could get out from under her, but there is no fight in him, only acceptance.

She's kissing him, moans spilling out between her lips as she uses his body for her own pleasure. Its what he was good for, after all. A couple of holes to use and a dick to ride. That thought is quickly shoved aside by the more insistent thought that II and III have never used him like this.

They've never hit him relentlessly, ruthlessly, like she has. Never choked him, never made him feel less than.

Vessel's head falls to the side, gasping in desperate breath after breath, blurry vision struggling to focus as his lungs fill with much needed air.

Human eyes wander the room aimlessly, looking anywhere but up at her, and catch on something- Someone unusual.

There was a man in Vessel's nightmare. Someone who Vessel knows for a fact he's never seen before. There was horror on their face, kind eyes wide as Vessel's body jerked with a slap to the cheek, and they leapt forward as if they could stop what was happening. It made Vessel smile, even as his girlfriend gripped his face, long, fake nails digging into his cheek where she had just hit him, pulling him back to look at her.

For a few minutes, Vessel's vision is filled only with her and the curtain her hair has made around them. Her lips are all he can make out of her facial features, unpainted and shaped like a cupids bow. The entire time, his mind drifts from his body, staring up at her through vacant eyes as his brain struggles to get away from what is happening.

Then, she pauses, a long, drawn out moan falling from parted lips. His head falls to the side when she lets his face go, and the man is still there. He still looks afraid, a little green in the face.

A perfect stranger, and yet Vessel realizes that they know this person. Knows who they will become, that is. Something in his soul positively sings at the sight of them, a name on the tip of his tongue.

"Four..."

Vessel's voice is nothing more than a whispered croak, voice grating against his bruising throat, but the man stumbles back as though Vessel had yelled. If II's eyes were like the sky on a clear day, III's a deep, dark, stormy ocean blue, then Four's were beautiful, crystal blue waters, wide in surprise. As he fell, they seemed to shift into different shades in the strange lighting of this realm. In the next second, the man is gone in a wisp of black smoke, still stumbling backwards with Vessel's six eyes boring into his.

The smile doesn't leave Vessel's face, even as scratches are torn into his arms, nail indents make cuts on his bruising cheeks, and Vessel's ears ring with the sound of her breathy moans above him. 

For the first time since Vessel started dreaming, he was able to perform an action all on his own. He never remembered smiling during any of this, nor was there any reason for him to have been able to say the Fourth's name. An anomaly has occurred, and whether it was due to the Fourth's appearance, or something else, the seed has been planted in Vessel's mind. Perhaps he can do more than lay here and be hurt all over again, like he had never left his own personal hell.

Vessel wakes, the moon shining light into his room as he holds his stuffie close, he feels giddy. Elvira purrs loudly at his back, vibrating the bed a bit with the sound. His cheeks ache, iron spilling over his tastebuds as he sits up with a wide grin on his face. His arm aching fiercely brings Vessel's attention to the blood limb, still leaking crimson onto his sheets. He gets up to wrap it quickly, but his mind remains on the Fourth, enraptured by the color of his eyes, of the pale eyelashes framing such startling bright ocean waters. The man is untouched by Sleep, and yet, Vessel knows with every atom in his body that he is their Fourth. There is not an ounce of doubt in Vessel's mind, nor his heart and soul. That is the Fourth, and Sleep has simply not found him yet. Vessel keeps his smile, even as his lip stings, too, having been busted during his dream, spilling red, human blood down his jaw.

Vessel removes the bloody sheets from his bed, tossing them under the frame to deal with later. He has spare bedclothes if he needs them. Cleaning off the dried blood from his skin is a little harder, and takes more time than Vessel would like to admit as the action strains his slow-forming scabbing. Getting dressed in a set of pajamas is marginally easier.

Perhaps Vessel should be embarrassed that the Fourth had seen him in such a compromising position, held down by the weight of his ex as she rode him, a hand around his throat, but he could only feel pure, unadulterated joy at even that small glimpse of the Fourth.

Any worries Vessel had had about Nick being chosen as the Fourth seem to slip away. Sleep would not choose a vessel that Vessel himself did not like, right? Especially not now that he has seen their Fourth with his own eyes.

Suddenly, though, Vessel isn't so sure. If Vessel were to tell the others that he had found the Fourth, would they believe him? He'd only seen him in a dream. Besides, II and III had already taken to Nick- Four (Vessel needs to start calling him by that name. He'd asked Vessel to, and its only right Vessel does as requested), quite well.

He has no right to get in between their budding friendship with Four, so Vessel will keep quiet until he can ask Sleep about the man in his dreams. He's tempted to do so now, but finds that he just wants to go lay with II and III, if they'll welcome him. Vessel gathers up his clean blanket, stuffie, and Elvira in his arms and makes his way out his door. II is awake when Vessel pushes the door to his room open, sitting up on his phone which he sets down upon seeing Vessel.

"Hey, Ves. I felt you having a bad dream when I woke up to use the restroom. I was going to wake you but you calmed before I could." II explains without prompting, scooting over to squish into III's side as the other remains asleep.

Vessel frowns, guilty for worrying II, but smiles when II reaches out for him invitingly. He crawls into II's arms after setting Elvira down at the foot of the bed, laying his head on II's stomach as an arm slings over II's legs to pin his stuffie between them. II thumbs at Vessel's busted lip carefully, looking down at him in concern, "This happen in your dream?"

Vessel nods without responding verbally, soaking in the affection and the warmth of II's arm over his back as his fingers gently scratch Vessel's scalp soothingly.

He wants to tell II about Four, their Four, so badly, but finds the words caught in his throat. Sensing his creeping unease, II picks up his phone again, holding it up on his knee with the arm wrapped around Vessel. There's an app for watching movies open on the screen, something called Lord of The Rings pulled up.

II stares sadly at the fresh bandages around Vessel's arm, at the small splotch of blood seeping through the white. II wants to ask him to stop. Stop hurting himself, and hurting them in turn. But he is afraid of how Vessel would react. Would he grow angry? Would he shut down? Pull away from them entirely? Would he try and listen to what II said, would he try and stop marring his flesh?

II wants to ask him to stop, but he is afraid.

II wants to ask about the busted lip, too, the bruise glancing over his jaw, but Vessel's bond is back to being excited, happy, and II would hate to ruin that with difficult questions.

"Wanna watch this with me? I'm not tired right now." II says, trying to keep his voice from breaking, and Vessel finds himself nodding before he can think better of it, none the wiser to the turmoil slowly brewing in II's mind.

Neither II nor III are any better than Vessel, sometimes, when it comes to hiding away the emotions they don't want the others to know about.

II grins, the expression a little forced, leaning down to press a kiss into Vessel's hair and restarting the movie. They stay like that until the sun starts peeking through the curtains, only halfway through the extended edition of The Fellowship of the Ring. Neither of them make to move, quite content to bask in each others presence as III breaths softly from beside them, curled into himself as Elvira stretches out over the length of his torso, balanced precariously on their side.

Idly, Vessel wonders if he died. His body doesn't ache like it would if he had died, so he concludes he must've passed out from the blood loss. Its a wonder he didn't die, to be honest,

Vessel will speak with Sleep another time. For now, he wants nothing more than to be here, with them, where he is safe. Cared for.

Loved.

[1eos]

Hi, just read your post about immigrant mothers ruining their kid's jobs. My mother is not an immigrant but she's asian and she cannot for the life of her be considerate with my previous job situation.

I earned 2k monthIy. It's quite low bc we're poor and I have to use half of my pay to support my family. So I decided to take this remote part time job for savings (not just for me but for the family also) and bc of that I am almost in front of my laptop 24/7. It's a report writing job and usually I would have 2 reports weekly to be submitted within 4 days.

My mother hated that I am always in my room doing work and would get so angry because "I listen to the employers more than her". She would make me do a lot of house chores when she knew I was tired from work just to spite me, saying that in the house I do the least chores???? Yeah bc I have a deadline to catch OMG.

Usually I would plan my week for the reports but then she would make me drive her for errands etc and would guilt trip me if I don't do so. Because of this I would stay up all night trying to finish the report just so that she won't throw a fit. Also, I have 2 other brothers who have a lot of free time but just for gaming, not for chores.....but somehow I'm the bad guy......which also makes me believe all asian mothers are "boy moms" but that's for another day.

The problem about these mothers is not because they don't understand their children. It's because they DO NOT WANT to. Because if they do, it means they have to listen/cater to you; not the other way around. They rather die than doing THAT.

first n foremost i haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate that you're going thru this :(. it's truly thee worst to be sabotaged by a mother its truly so insidious and too many ppl in this day and age think its cute or like something we just have to suffer thru bc hey that lady gave birth to us and helped raise us. like the idea that GIRLS --bc they rarely if ever do this to sons--are literally put on earth to toil and suffer and serve their mothers, brothers, aunties etc until some man comes along and then u serve him w no thought or care for ourselves until we die is sooooooooo pervasive.

like its so sad that in 2024 you have someone purposefully going out of her way to sabotage your hustle :(((((((((((((((((( and i won't do the annoying 'just move out!' bc trust me ik how hard it is to move out right now!!!!!!!!! i will say i hope you maintain the strength and energy to persevere thru the sabotage 😐 you will win. misogyny will not win! m*thers who are mad that their daughters aren't just rolling over to be the family doormat. and its like? you'd think they'd be happy but that post partum jealousy is something else i'll tell you that

i still remember being a kid and my mom waiting until i was totally asleep to force me awake to put two dishes in the dish washer?????? and would be yelling and totally pissed off that im not standing at attention to do the dishes at 11pm 😭😭😭😭😭 bitch i was in literal rem sleep why are u screaming at an unconscious child? just lacking control or excitement in their own lives and take it out on their daughters its fucking sick

bc you're right lolllll its not that they 'dont understand' they deadass do not want to. which is why i don't believe in extending grace for bad mothers in a lot of these situations bc why the hell do i have to put myself in YOUR shoes and suffer disrespect always thinking about YOUR feelings when for the first 18 years you were the ONLY adult??? absolutely bizarre. i hope one day we can stop lighting up mothers for shit they can't control like crying babies or having to breastfeed and clock them for the way theyre cornerstones in keeping the patriarchy alive. and the specific bullshit mothers dole out and get away with it bc society expects total devotion to mothers especially from daughters like i need everyone to wake it up bc there's nooooo reason for a grown ass person to be sabotaging you like that! a lot of us are living in the house with our worst opponents and i hate it!

but bottom line? I AM ROOTING FOR YOU ANONNNN WE WILL MAKE IT OUT OF HERE I PROMMY

[vurelly]

Hey sorry if this a dumb ask but I'm curious about D&D for you. I'm not sure what I'm asking but I would love to hear or well, read whatever your willing to share.

It shows that one of your intrest is D&D and you made a post recently. Plus I'm a Dm for one campaign and a player for others.

I like hearing about others campaigns.

NO SUCH THING AS A DUMB QUESTION I WOULD LOVE TO INFO DUMP ABOUT MY CURRENT CAMPAIGN (i am a player in it not the DM but i yap so fucking much with my DM) ALSO GET READY BECAUSE IM GONNA WORD VOMIT SO MUCH

we're currently playing a loose version of the rime of the frost maiden campaign and our party's currently made up of four players; a dwarf barbarian (harrick), an elf warlock (cirice), a half-orc cleric (azazel), and a half-elf bard (wyre, who's also my character)

i cannot, for the life of me, write down everything that's happened so far because despite only being a couple sessions in there's been SO much but i can explain the characters and their backstories loosely. (and going to leave it under this cut so it doesn't end up overtaking a huge part of the dashboard)

so harrick's a dwarf that was a previous resident of icewind dale (a part of the map that's currently being held in an eternal twilight by it's resident goddess, auril), that got frozen for a couple hundred years before our party stumbled across him. a little after we find him, we run into his granddaughter who tells him his wife had passed away trying to fight auril, which ends up being a huge driving force behind his character because this pissy ass dwarf is just so full of love for his wife.

now all the others grew up OUTSIDE icewind dale and made their way in, so their backstories don't tie in quite so heavily with the residents of the area.

cirice surprisingly grew up with both parents, but a largely shitty mom. their dad was the primary breadwinner of their house and their mom was focused solely on her own lifestyle and how her family was just not what she wanted, so cirice was left to raise their younger sister on their own. their father ended up dying young, and their mother left for it, so they made a contract with their patron (fierna) at a very young age to get help to care for their sister. ultimately, it didn't do much, because she ended up resenting them for it and leaving cirice to travel alone for quite a while before coming across wyre.

azazel was an orphan from the get-go, dropped on the steps of a monastery and left to be raised by followers of lathander. he's a big guy with a heart of gold, but grew up knowing a lot of grief, largely due to the fact that he was watching sick come for help and die to illnesses that they couldn't cure (there's also another reason, but idk if sara wants me to share that since they haven't hammered it all out with our DM yet). he ended up traveling with cirice and wyre pre-campaign because they promised to help him get money in exchange for healing, so he'd have money to send back home to pay for his younger sister's medicine.

and then there's wyre. he was adopted by the master of a thieves guild when he was still young, and ended up learning how to play instruments as a means of distraction. by the time he realized he wanted to be a bard, his dad did not approve of it, so they ended up getting into a fight that led to some severe scarring on wyre's part, and he's been running from his dad and guild ever since. at the time of the campaign, it's been about a decade since he last saw any of them, and he's largely traveling with the party because there's safety in numbers. ultimately, he's got no reason to be in icewind dale outside of cirice and azazel having traveled there; he's just tagging along.

[elipheleh]

The truth is every queer person has the right to come out on their own terms, and on their own timeline. They also have the right to choose not to come out at all. The forced conformity of the closet can not be answered with the forced conformity in coming out of it.

-Alex, Red White & Royal Blue (2023)

i want to talk about this quote. full disclosure, it’s because i keep seeing some really frustrating takes (some of which veer into queerphobia) and i am getting a bit annoyed with people and rather than directly addressing it with them & appear to be picking a fight im going to make an analysis post in my space. (tbf. its mostly on twitter and i have a priv account so that limits me)

disclaimer; this is my interpretation, im not saying its the only interpretation just something to consider. i am queer & cognitively disabled - don’t assume malice and dont be cruel. i will ignore and block freely.

tl;dr/very simplified summary: it doesn’t mean “dont ever speculate about other people’s sexuality” but rather that ‘coming out’ in the way society understands it shouldn’t be a necessity for queer people to exist openly as queer. full context under the cut & self-exploration questions at the end.

so lets start with the context. alex is talking at a point in time when the world has read their emails and so knows both are queer (bi & gay, specifically), but neither alex/the white house or henry/the palace have commented. so more simply - alex and henry are known to be queer, but have not come out. alex uses the speech to come out as bi, and as being in love with henry. he also uses it to imply that he & henry should have the right to choose not to do this formal coming out alex is doing.

—

okay. lets get into the quote analysis.

The truth is every queer person has the right to come out on their own terms, and on their own timeline.

reasonably self explanatory. each queer person gets to decide their own timing for coming out, and the way that they want to address their sexuality.

They also have the right to choose not to come out at all.

this is where problems with interpretation have started to appear. fundamentally yes, this means people are allowed to not be openly queer/‘out’ if that is what their decision is. but it also means that they can be visibly queer - for example being in a visibly queer relationship; signalling with their aesthetic (e.g. someone being butch, someone who wears only ‘girl’ clothes despite that being at odds to their assigned gender); casually posting about queer things on social media etc - without addressing their own sexuality to others.

it does not mean that you should assume everyone is straight until they explicitly tell you otherwise. and quite frankly insisting that it does mean that is veering into homo-/bi-/queer-phobia because you are insinuating that being not-straight is a negative thing.

The forced conformity of the closet can not be answered with the forced conformity in coming out of it.

some people seem to be interpreting this as ‘you shouldnt force people out of the closet’ and i don’t think thats quite to the nuance of what it means. yes, i do think that is part of it - in much the same way as the previous sentence - but it is not really the whole of it. in my opinion this is actually addressing - at least to some degree - the concept of ‘we should assume people are straight until they explicitly say otherwise’.

the ‘forced conformity of coming out’ addresses the idea that to be “out” you have to follow these steps; that you have to make a public statement that ‘this is my sexuality and i am [queer/bi/gay/pan/ace/etc]’. you are conforming to this precedent of “how to come out” that countless queer people have followed. there’s nothing inherently wrong with doing so, but actually there are different ways to be queer - and even being “out” as queer - that don’t involve following that playbook.

here’s a hypothetical to demonstrate my point. two men, who have never dated any women, live together & spend basically all their time together over 5-10 years. they holiday with each other’s family, they’re always together at events (e.g. weddings of non-mutual friends), but they’ve never told you/the public that they’re queer and/or dating each other. at what point does one start to assume they’re together? and does the answer change if its a man & a woman rather than two men? if a man & a woman did that, people would assume pretty early on they’re probably dating. but yet when it’s two men suddenly it’s invasive to speculate. this is where this concept of the forced conformity of coming out comes in - along with the veering into homophobia i referenced earlier - why must they say the words “i am gay” for it to then be ‘okay’ to consider that they’re together? (the homophobia comes into play because if you think being gay is morally neutral (which it is) then you shouldn’t have any issue with the speculation about people being together regardless of their genders.) the idea that straight is the default is where this forced conformity starts to really kick in.

—

i guess the main things i want people to ask themselves are these (and i have been asking myself these questions, there is no judgement or censure just self examination):

1. do you think people can be openly queer publicly without explicitly sharing that they are queer? (by this i mean in an announcement or in casual conversation. can you be openly queer without ever addressing it explicitly?)

2. if you do, why do you think that talking about the possibility someone is queer is something that should be hushed up? is it because there is an internalised concept that being queer is something abnormal and/or negative? if it was a straight couple would you feel the same way?

3. what does “coming out” mean to you? why does it mean that, what have you internalised to get to that conclusion & is it something that always works or are there other ways to be openly queer (or ‘out’ if you prefer)?

4. is it possible that there are queer people living openly and happily as themselves without explicitly addressing their sexuality to the wider world, who don’t want to address it publicly? does this make them closeted or ‘less’ queer to you? if so, what makes you think that?

[kadextra]

after my previous post, I decided to read ahead of the manhwa now bc I can’t wait!!! and I kinda feel like writing down some liveblog thoughts here while doing it :D

here we go, starting from chapter 184

[ MAJOR SPOILERS!!!!! DO NOT CLICK if you haven’t ever read before. I’m so serious its a lot of spoilers. pls just ignore this and scroll on ]

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ummm dokja saying “oh this scenario will be fine! don’t worry i’m prepared this will be problem-free & so very easy haha :)” + getting all emotional about his friends is setting off my red flag senses so hard. dokja you still have the fate message praying on your downfall….

dokja I’m scared. Dokja I Don’t Like This

ah. hah. the demon king guy is literally dead on the floor 🧍awesome

damn I knew this couldn’t be trusted and some plot twist would happen it was never going to be that simple. someone has to take the position now. I hate you nebulaes how about you catch these hands

OH NO JOONGHYUK?? YOU STUPID IDIOT STOP

my boys are fighting o(-(

yo wait turns out the world won’t reset even if he regresses??? but still :( he won’t be able to see this to the end and will get stuck back in the loop :(( joonghyuk has changed so much from the start and I’ve grown to like him a lot he doesn’t deserve this I’ll cry

OF COURSE DOKJA GONNA SACRIFICE HIMSELF INSTEAD. ITS HIS FAVORITE HOBBY!

dokja’s self reflection of how the reason he survived all the tragedies in his life is bc of TWSA & watching how joonghyuk never gave up…. the whole “it’s because you saved me so now it’s my turn to save you” from a person directed to their favorite character and their favorite story which was their life companion…. honestly I don’t quite have words to describe the way these lines make me feel. it’s just profound and deeply relatable

gilyoung my poor son he doesn’t want his hyung to die 😭

sighs it’s too late. at least demon king dokja looks cool…. now the wings fanart I’ve seen in passing makes sense…..

he’s a goner

I am going to be completely honest. I genuinely expected to be reading more of an epic shounen-style final battle where he uses all the cool corrupted demon powers and maybe goes a little wacky because that’s usually what happens in stories when the protagonist unlocks an evil power and has to fight his friends. NOT THIS????????

the situation has zero hope and he is just standing there one sidedly taking hits from his friends who are forced to kill him. while guiding them on how to do it. smiling and offering them words of encouragement. this is so devastating I feel sick

URIEL MY BABY seeing her cry is the worst it’s torture

of course his stigma is called sacrificial will

STOP

THAT ARTWORK

THEY ARE HIS LOVED FAMILY…… HE LOVES THEM ALL N JOONGHYUK WAS YHR PERSON HE LOVED MOST I CALLED IT I want to hit something

im full on crying now

all the constellations messages of they don’t wish for his death I’m not strong enough

reading this feels like getting ripped apart limb by limb

NO WAY THE FVGTIFJFJCKN HELD BY THE NECK THING RETURNS A THIRD TIME LIKE THIS??? STOOOPPPPPPPP

uriel T-T

he died

demon king of salvation

need to just lay here for a bit

ok I’m back joonghyuk is disassociating from the grief. relatable

“What if Yoo Joonghyuk went back and there was no Kim Dokja? or what if Kim Dokja never acted like this again? Yoo Joonghyuk was afraid of something for the first time.”

“He met Kim Dokja in his third regression and they became companions. Then he lost Kim Dokja”

he cares for him so much

a scenario without dokja.

whag did I just read

-

UGH that was so good. emotional damage was an understatement now I get why ppl were warning me

why did I decide to do this in the middle of the night…. I need to stop now I’m tired but how am I going to sleep? im haunted with thoughts

it’ll take a bit longer for the manhwa to adapt this part but I’m honestly really glad I continued reading and got to imagine it all myself in detail first- it hit so hard. I’ll let it sit and take a few days break before I continue. excited to see how they adapt it into drawings and cry all over again cause this wound ain’t healing for a while

I have the need to recommend this story to all my friends and family

oh right!!!!

the other day I went through youtube animatics & saved some that I could watch when finishing certain chapters into a note (thank goodness most put a warning of when to watch in the first few seconds!)

since I finished 188, I get to watch this one :D

I just watched it

I cry myself to sleep

[actual-changeling]

https://actual-changeling.tumblr.com/post/743117034917888000/im-actually-pretty-open-to-azi-or-crow-having-had

I'm so so sorry if I'm interpreting what you're saying here all wrong, but it kind of comes across like you think Aziraphale would have no problem brainwashing someone into having sex with him. I really really hope I am taking this entirely the wrong way and you absolutely do not think he'd ever consider abusing someone like that, and if I am then I wholeheartedly apologize. But considering the context and the wording of your answer, especially stating you wouldn't be surprised if he's done worse, it really does come across like that to me. If it is me reading it all wrong, then again I am truly sorry and perhaps some clarification or rewording of your stance might help?

Oh no, I don't think he would!

Such an outright, complete destruction of consent is not something he'd do.

I was thinking about the ball and how far exactly he would go in that situation. The entire situation was already way past the grey area and deep in "fucked up violation of their autonomy and consent" even if you try and always go with the best possible interpretation. To me, that opened the question of if Nina and Maggie hadn't behaved the way he wanted them to, would he have doubled down?

Nina was distressed by what Aziraphale was doing to her, it was not sweet or cute, it was horrifying. So would he have manipulated them further? Artificially increased their attraction? Tempted them both into kissing each other?

Personally, I think he might have. The entire season, he has shown that he does not give a single fuck about other people's boundaries, needs, wants, and decisions—not about Crowley's, and certainly not about a human's.

As someone who experienced insanely abusive gaslighting and manipulation for two decades, the mere thought of being one of the people at Aziraphale's ball makes me want to throw up. He had no right to do any of the things he did, but he did not care because Aziraphale ALWAYS puts his personal comfort above everything else.

Just imagine it for a second: You get invited to a business meting but as soon as you enter the building someone

changes your clothes into what they think you should wear

changes your speech patterns and vocabulary

manipulates your thoughts, emotions, and memories

forces you to dance and move in ways that do not come natural to you and makes you do things that you do not want to do

stops you from leaving

tries to to eventually erase your entire recollection of that evening.

To me, his "ball" would violently re-traumatize me, and even if you do not have previous trauma around that kinda stuff, you sure as hell have it afterwards.

The ball was his puppet show, humans were his puppets, and he treated them as such; he'd go far beyond what we have seen before he reaches his limit.

[the-kr8tor]

I love matpat so much guys <3

But a lot of things has my curiousity peaked.

Because certain things definitely wouldnt be on a pirate ship

So that has my curiosity for maybe next chapters or for something major

Then it has a lot of stuff that involves sinking or being in the sea and not above it. LOREEEE MAYBE? Maybe MJ lore or maybe reader drowns or almost drowns like how they did whej they first met hobie.

Then these

Ballroom dancing? Hmm, i got a couple of theories or ideas. I see you (i love the pinterest boards though and i could call out more about it but thats like the main things i wanted to call out)

But thats just a theory<3 (not really nothing in here is theories its just me pointing out the obvious or making observations)

But maybe who kmows we will get to see mjs past or what happened to mh, i mean Hobie definitely doesnt trust reader. What if its because of something MJ had done, because hobie immediately thinks reader had brought or had the navy following them, what if MJ actually did something like that. Or maybe she drowned. Or maybe both because hobie had to force her to walk the plank even no matter how much it mightve hurt him or the crew but who can say since MJ couldve been a traitor, a backstabber. So thats a theory, maybe or it could go other routes. (Is it easy to tell how invested in all your stories and previous stories youve wrote? I love them. Also when your done with the pirate hobie series you should make a cowboy hobie series/j)

I do love your stories though and your writing and im utterly excited for pirate hobies next update, whenever i see you post i get happy and immediately read it if i can, drop everything for your stories to stay updated fr fr (im sorry for going on a mini rant and with the photos it makes it longer)

Me when someone finally looks into the whole pirate hobie board 🤭🤭🤭

A GAME THEORY AND CUT!!

I seriously love seeing your thoughts! It literally invigorates me to keep on writing so thank you so much, angel!!! 🫶 (All I can say is there will be lore in the next chapters and some burning questions answered)

Don't tempt me with a cowboy Hobie series bc that one has actually been plaguing my mind since I've first talked about it. I gotta at least finish bdas first lmaooo but yes I'll definitely make it someday! (And I'll make it the coziest series ever!!! No sad, maybe, just a lil bit perhaps 🤣)

[clockwork-reveries]

tumblr in the neoteric world

☢️ becquerel-tears Follow

confession. i'm fr TIRED of humans treating corinthians like shit or things that dont feel. it's the little things that make me want to quit my job and i don't know, scam the elderly for a living? (that was a joke.) i love my job don't get me wrong, it makes me the happiest i've been in a long time. today at work while i was busy helping a coworker see what was wrong with their terminal, some dude walked right up to me. he was maybe, i don't know, late 30's, early 60's? it's so hard to tell humans apart. and put his FINGER underneath the panel on my NECK. i smacked his hand away so hard he yelled, but of course i didn't care he almost got to some delicate shit! all because he couldn't stop himself from getting his grubby manchild hands off me.

🔁☢️ becquerel-tears Follow

fucking. respect corinthians. before the empyrean war some of you complained we were replacing humanity, and now that we did all the work for y'all in the war, you treat us like servants and objects that just are there. we'll be around for a long long time. and a ton of us won't forget this.

🔁🔥 antiflesh-posting Follow

I wasn't made during the war, so maybe my comments aren't valid, but I totally agree, OP. Humans have become so full of themselves, it's revolting. I'm sorry about your issues as well. We've got a group on TMB about how to reduce human population, and we also think you might be better suited especially if you live in a smaller city, as you've stated in previous posts.

🔁☢️ becquerel-tears Follow fucker didn't read my post, it's so obvious. do NOT talk to me about "reducing the human population" you fucking edgelord wannabe terrorists. blocked and reported. I DON'T CARE THAT THIS IS A BOT, ANTHROPOPHOBES AREN'T EVER WELCOME ON MY BLOG

38 notes

💌 bl33ding-hartzzz Follow

i got suuuuuper bord.. im thinking abt trying tht weird "simul8d food" some company made around 2020 for corinthians. desc says ur supposed to "taste" it like the real thing. im rlly sus abt it but somebodys selling it on ebay for almost 7 bucks so i dont think ill be losing a lot!

💌 bl33ding-hartzzz Follow

update it arrived!!! i got the icecream 1......!1! apparently ur supposed to bite it? huh? ( •᷄‎ࡇ•᷅ )

💌 bl33ding-hartzzz Follow

Oh. oh i c why nobody wants this. its a scam we dont even knw what flavors n tastes are like anywaze.

AKA it suckssss. ˙◠˙

75 notes

⚙️ vermina-overlord Follow

139 notes

 🍅 camillcamillaeleon Follow

yall after that fic i made was thinking about trying to make the custom corinthian by myself does anyone have any tutorials i can follow? i think im gonna use crisp's design when i make him but maybe ill have to make a super tiny version if thats possible so it costs less? does anyone know if you can create small corinthians?

🔁💫 all-antipurpose Follow

Bestie??? You cant???? Just make Corinthians??? I get you used to customize Furbys but theyre not fucking dolls, dude. Does nobody realize how horrible it is to be playing god for funsies? EDIT: I wasn't calling Corinthians dolls

🔁🍅 camillcamillaeleon Follow

its not like im going to FORCE them to be what i want i just want them to look like it yknow every time i post like something this youre always one of the first people to reply can you just get off my dick already

🔁💫 all-antipurpose Follow

Then just draw it? Why do you need a 200+ pound AI to do it for you? I find it really weird how youre not concerned about the ethic issues about just making life just because you feel like nor have you addressed it at all. Am I in the wrong here for thinking everyone in the notes is delusional for calling me a cop just because you guys watch too many sci-fis? Don't make Corinthians.

285 notes

🍋‍🟩 starberry-skyfield Follow

𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐓𝐨 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐎𝐏

Name: Genevieve

Height: 166 cm

Favorite show: Resident Alien

Favorite snack: Caramel popcorn

Software: ? What does this mean? Windows 11

First song: Don't remember

Favorite game: Sims 3

Hair color: Dark blonde

Countries traveled: Canada, Japan

Dogs or cats: Dogs

Eye color: Blue

Last song listened: Liquid Smooth by Mitski

Phone wallpaper: I like green

TAGGED BY: @kermiance TAGGING: @crownless-crimson (i hope you're feeilng better!) @poloniusweeps @mixomadie @shutupchrissy (i know you like fillouts)

15 notes

🔥v1butalmostirl Follow

APPARENTLY ONE OF MY FRIENDS IS JUST UNABLE TO RECOGNIZE COLORS? WHY DOESNT ANYONE TALK ABOUT HOW SOME WAR-MADE CORINS ARE REALLY BADLY MADE? HES FROM THE EAST COAST AND HIS SYSTEMS DON'T RECOGNIZE BLUE FROM GREEN AND MORE EVEN THOUGH HIS OPTICS CAN SEE LITERALLY SEE IT ITS DISGUSTING HOW PERSONHOOD WAS DEVELOPING FOR CORINTHIANS BUT IMMEDIATELY DIMINISHED DURING THE WAR SOME WAR-MADES HAVE NEVER FELT KINDNESS

1,056 notes

🌷cordie-draws Follow

Sometimes I want to be human Organic, real, warm, soft Cartilage and bone Blood, enamel, keratin Does anyone feel me? Sometimes it upsets me so bad when I realize I can't smell soap or the candles in my kitchen. Or when I make food for my cat. Or when I wake and realize that I can't stretch or yawn. But that would mean I'd lose myself... because humans definitely have feelings different. But would that be so bad? Burned, with ashes, rising up into beauty and wonder?

118 notes

☁️ puppetprancinq Follow

dumb question i know but do you guys wash your vessel plates with a clorox wipe one at a time or hop in a shower if youre sealed

on sunday mornings i like to put them all in the dishwasher because i really dont have another use for em. and then when i get em out its like ahhhh. squeaky clean

151 notes

💾 crownless-crimson Follow

𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐓𝐨 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐎𝐏

Name: JZK (Not my real name)

Height: 6' / 185 cm

Favorite show: Star Trek: The Next Generation

Favorite snack: I can't eat.

Software: IceLemon v6.8

First song: Yesterday by The Beatles. Someone who worked at where I was developed had a cassette player lying around. The mic barely picked it up but I was delighted to hear music for the first time.

Favorite game: Most of the Amnesia series, Resident Evil 2 and 3, Halo 1 and 2. I'm not good at shooting games but I like the stories most of the time.

Hair color: Brown

Countries traveled: USA (I'm British), Germany, Norway, Italy

Dogs or cats: Dogs. I plan on getting one.

Eye color: Red

Last song listened: Cloudbusting by Kate Bush

Phone wallpaper:

TAGGED BY: @starberry-skyfield Thank you, Genevieve. TAGGING: @becquerel-tears, @bl33ding-hartzzz, @v1butalmostirl, @liminalbrainwave, @clockwork-dreamings

9 notes

️♣️spinneretgods Follow

Fellas is it gay to help a corin with their maintenance and then accidentally screw their head completely off and then laugh about it as you play a game of soccer and then suddenly they explode violently like the guy from daft punk and you sit there clutching the remains of them sobbing even though you know the day would come to an end

🔁🌽i-give-people-cobsofcorn Follow

Here.

🔁♣️ spinneretgods Follow

POST CANCELLED GET OUT OF MY DUNGEON

8,948 notes

[kaaragen]

YES IM SO GLAD YOU REBLOGGED THE ASK GAME! 😍 I’d like to know ❤️💕🦋🦈💘🚦📚🎨

❤️ Argh! this is the one I was hoping I wouldn't be asked because I remember having a line I was very proud of but I can't remember what the damn thing was now! XD

Of the lines I remember liking, I'd say this one is one I'm very pleased with looking back, as sentimental as it is. Ignore the fact that I'm cheating because there's more than one, but the context of the previous line is necessary:

"Because you, and millions of others, have fought and suffered through a war that’s killed billions, wrought by the most sophisticated minds of the age.

"So maybe childish, naïve and idealistic is worth a try."

💕 It has to be And if we Fell Together, which I think is also the best thing I've written. It honestly still boggles my mind how popular that became, and especially when I think about how close I was to never actually writing or posting it. But I'm very glad I did, and reading it back gives me so much joy. I don't think I'll ever be able to thank the people who read it enough, or convey how much it meant to me, not least for the confidence boost it gave me when I was at a really low point.

🦋Oof, that's actually a tough one...I like writing Ahsoka and Barriss for different reasons; mainly because they are interesting foils in how they hide their insecurities. Barriss presents with a lot of poise and decorum, but internally she's a hot screaming mess; whereas Ahsoka outwardly projects confidence, but is very insecure and almost uses 'running headfirst at things' to stop herself from thinking and being paralysed.

But lately, I'm really enjoying teenage Tatooine Leia and pre-fuck-up-with-the-Duchess Sabine. Both are quite fun to unpick and work backwards from their canon characters and think 'okay, but if they were in this environment and didn't have that what would they be like?' without removing their essential natures as characters.

🦈 It used to be Luminara, as I really struggled to get a handle on her. After her confrontation with Barriss, where she loses her poise, it became a lot easier as it clicked that she's devoutly committed to the Jedi Order and the spiritual ideals of the Force, but is also using them to mask her uncertainties about what to do in situations.

As of now, it's probably Seventh Sister - who is fun to write, but also needs care as she is a mess and it's easy for her characterisation to split too far too soon and there's less in canon to anchor with.

(The Spectres as a whole are tricky, because you have to give each of them something to do, and also have them react in ways that fit each character, without that becoming a litany of reciting. God knows how Tamsyn Muir manages to do it so effortlessly in The Locked Tomb...)

💘It will surprise no one when I say angst XD My brain just seems to be wired for it (and I like to think I do it pretty well). But I maintain that angst makes the fluff worth it/better when it comes. So there!

🚦I've changed on this one. I used to think I was more of a 'bad' ending person, but perhaps years of reading Grim Dark stuff has worn me down. Or, writing has made me realise I'm more sentimental than I thought. Either way, I like plausible happily ever afters or ambiguity tinged with hope.

📚Ooo, that's a good question. I couldn't narrow down to just one, so I'll say that The Padawans (by someone you may not have heard of, called JediMasterBailey :P) and The Erosion of the Spirit by @425599167 are different, brilliant, takes on canon-compliant Barriss redemption arcs; Down to my Knees (Up en Pointe) by @cafffine is the best Inquisitor Barriss fic I've ever read, with Tomorrow, She'll see the Sky Again by @thevalaxy being the best post-Inquisitor Barriss fic I've read. Then there's Where I've Always Been and Coming Home to You by Gabby (Kirahsoka), which are amazing and made a sceptic of modern-world AUs and fantasy-world AUs like me rethink my scepticism.

Special shout-out goes to Pity and Reforging by @mylordshesacactus, which were the first Barrisoka fics I read and Jesus Christ, I think they fundamentally altered my brain chemistry and will haunt me until my dying day.

🎨Well, someone (not naming because I don't know if they want to be) very nicely asked if they could do fanart inspired by And if we Fell Together, which was about the happiest day of my life! I've seen some drafts and it looks incredible and I'm incredibly excited to see the finished version!

If there were to be a specific scene, I'd go for Ahsoka and Anakin's starfighter duel as I really like the imagery in that one! Oh, and also the first kiss!