#im not finished yet so that's why i think. once i actually get to the end i might know which one will fit
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silverislander · 11 months ago
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prof said congrats for writing up a proposal so early i am going to get a good grade in. well this is literally going to be graded. but yk the meme
#i really hope its decent proposals are really hard for me to write. i never really understand how much im supposed to say#also i dont plan stuff in advance! i hate drafts and proposals why cant i just jump in and run w my topic#i dont Know exactly what im going to cover just yet can i get back to you once ive covered it#levi.txt#i spent One page just opening the two page proposal so. i know it needs some cleaning up#but the last time i wrote one of these i only got a 75 (not a bad grade but i could do significantly better) bc. and i am not kidding.#i wrote a several page intro abt the themes of a story i was super pumped to write. and forgot the /plot characters and title/#a 75 was honestly generous. that prof already liked me and knew my work so i got very lucky#also i just think the guy im working with for my essay is so cool and i want to impress him bfhshsk#ive taken 2 classes with him before he is so smart and so enthusiastic. i was 1 of only 3 who was there for every class both times#everyone whos helped me has been so cool and very nice to me i want to do a good job and prove that im as capable as they think#and also jesus fucking christ ive worked so hard for this degree PLEASE#if i dont get honours im walking into the forest laying down and letting the fae take me as they will#side note: i have 1.5 movies left (its late and im finishing army of the dead tomorrow + watching evil dead rise)!! thats so exciting#theyve (mostly) been really fun and i feel like i have a really good general idea of where im going w my essay now#the movie eras are starting to kind of organize themselves into coherent themes in my mind#i think its smth along the lines of racism/xenophobia -> social change -> satanic panic -> action and militarism -> prejudice/bias#and i actually think were in smth of a thematic reckoning w zombies rn as a culture that im excited to discuss!!#for so long weve accepted that zombies arent people but weve really been starting to interrogate that since abt the mid 2010s#w tropes like searching for a cure (not just a vaccine) or movies like warm bodies or evil dead where you can truly turn back#and im really excited to see where the future takes the zombie genre!!
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ei-mugi · 11 months ago
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my main hurdle with my dcaf fic is my depression but my 2nd task-related hurdle is not knowing what eichi should be doing at my ambiguous and butchered chosen place in time--- nvm see the notes
#i already fucked up the start of checkmate but its fine the details dont have to be perfect#its so early on i can write a way around that. who cares#whats important is that it stays like thematically coherent. and characterisation needs to be consistent#but also liiike. whats----------- oh.#okay. i just thought of a solution to my problem#thats really easy why didnt i think of this months ago#ok im gonna write that down somewhere for after i finish my BB fic#and then several yaers down the line once i have a nicely wrapped and finished dcaf i can rewrite the whole thing to make it#accurate-er to the canon timeline of events. making a timeline just isnt fun to me sorry#the goal with dcaf wasnt to make it perfect it was to make it done yknow#i wanted to prove to myself i could write a longfic (or medfic at least) & that i could have a bare minimum satisfying narrative#so staying entirely true to canon isnt high on my priority list#learn how to make the thing THEN learn how to make it well u get me#i love roleplay but ive never done a whole lot of individual writing lol#i still need to reread those reminiscence events though... sigh... and ideally fluff out with some other stories too#i gotta manage my expectations on what i know im able to get done tho. sad but true#thank god i actually wrote notes when i was reading rocket start#i started writing notes when i started obbligato too tho im not far into that yet ive got other stuff to do#im totally distracted ok wrapping post up now
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commemorator · 6 months ago
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najaa(addphonetic) : its a dutch thing i find myself using because sometimes theres a thing in a language that says something your language does not and learing that is how the human experience works And someties, that thing is really languaging, as in my case, I recognize
how it resonates to own fatalistic culture and implications for analysis of own(possibilities) culture and language + how lgs dynamic lends well to analysis on discourse(possibilities) + how i heard of it and how i was motivated to write and how it affects me on a deeper level and how it lends well to analysis of social media and its changes on our behavior(possibilities) and how it lends well to understanding terms and realities of subjectification(possibilities) and how deconstruction can be applied meaningfully and how this lends well to point on intentional exercising of forces of sequentiality and simultaneity + how everything is an opportunity for creation + how language can be used as conceptual tool for cultivation in all ways: educational, mentally healing or liberatory(possibilities), as opposed to it semantic isolation or lack of agency or unimportance
> first part: avg(q:high)! length - avg(q:avg)! harmony length/clarity/cogref - self level focus - low(q:low)! deterioration accuracy - low(q:low)! semantic markers > second part: high(q:high)! length - low(q:high)! harmony length/clarity/cogref - analysis level focus - high(q:low)! deterioration accuracy - high(q:low)! semantic markers > third part: low(q:high)! length - high(q:low)! length/clarity/cogref - communication level focus - low(q:low)! deterioration accuracy - high(q:low)! semantic markers > fourth part: low(q:6)! length - avg(q:low)! length/clarity/cogref - meta level focus - low(q:high)! deterioration accuracy - high(q:high)! semantic markers
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yeahxsurexokay13 · 6 months ago
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ideal weekend, lando norris
summary: while fans stress about the fact that, following their breakup, the actress won't be there to witness the driver's first ever f1 win, y/n gets asked about her ideal weekend off in an interview and accidentally manifests it [actress!reader]
warnings: i think only very bad editing (i tried) and me bringing up yet another footballer i feel affection for for literally no reason
fc: madelyn cline
started this as something completely different from what it ended up being but i think i like it. i'd love it if you let me know what you think tho (((:
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y/n.y/l
📍miami
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Liked by rudeth and 1.059.326 others
y/n.y/l yet another victim of a @/maxverstappen1 win. had so much fun but i think i'll just stick to acting 🙃🙃🫠 thank you @/redbullracing for having me!!! <333
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username at a red bull event? what happened to once a mclaren girl always a mclaren girl????
username this event was basically work for her ?? you ppl need to stop taking everything so personally omg
username professional SUPER FAST driver, part time actress ❤️ by author
username you're in miami the same week of the miami gp. coincidence? i think not 😌😌
username GORGEOUS GORGEOUS GIRL
redbullracing Glad you had fun Y/n! Maybe we should start considering you for a guest appearance in our garage 😉
mclaren Thanks for the offer, Red Bull! But we've already got dibs on her 😉
username UM I HOPE THIS ISN'T A JOKE ??
username don't play with me like this admin!!
mclaren Don't worry. We won't hold this against you 🧡
y/n.y/l ily guys 🧡🧡🧡
username Ok cool now go finish season 4
username Why are u in Miami shouldn’t u be filming obx 4 😪
y/n.y/l side quest
username not the Y/n x F1 content I was hoping for but at this point I'll take what I can get
maxverstappen1 Next time I'll give you a head start. Enjoyed having you with us, Y/n 🫶
y/n.y/l there will definitely not be a next time but thanks tho!!!👍🏼 always a pleasure seeing you ❤️
username pretty 🩷
username Why is Max literally this🧍🏼‍♂️❤️ by author
landonorris Um what's this?
y/n.y/l 😶 not what it looks like
username seeing you two banter like this makes my heart ache 💔
username i'm never moving on from y/nlando sigh
username OBX S4 WHEN QUEEN
29 April 2024
mclaren added to their story
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y/n.y/l
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Liked by maxfewtrell and 1.890.345 others
y/n.y/l me and FORMULA 1 RACE WINNER lando norris
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username JUST WHEN I THOUGHT TODAY COULDN'T GET ANY BETTER OMFG
username formula 1 race winner lando norris has a nice ring to it 😉 ❤️ by author
username What a race, and what a win for Lando!!!
username IM LOSING IT YALL I JUST CHECKED OUT OF CURIOSITY AND BRIGHTON ALSO WON TODAY Y/N MANIFESTED HER IDEAL SUNDAY
username minus the relaxing part lol i know for a fact bestie was stressing in that garage
carlossainz55 It's great to see you back at a race! Missed having you around! ❤️
y/n.y/l thank you carlitos ❤️ wish i could've got to see you up there with lando
charles_leclerc ouch ? 🫤
y/n.y/l noooo, i didn't mean you!!! x
maxverstappen1 ouch?
y/n.y/l i did mean you. sorry /:
username are we back in 2022 and i didn't realise?????? not complaining at all tho
mclaren You and FORMULA 1 RACE WINNER Lando Norris look amazing! 🧡 ❤️ by author
username admin definitely ships
username children of divorce rise !!!!!!! ❤️ by author
username u think u're so funny liking this @.y/n.y/n but we're actually hurting we want our mum back!!!
username seeing you celebrate with lando was everything 🥹🥹🥹
username when i tell you i sCREAMED !!!!!!
username Everything in the world has been healed due to this post
oscarpiastri Awesome that you could come watch. Missed you ❤️
y/n.y/l missed you more pastry boy ❤️❤️
username we were robbed from this friendship !!!😪
username can't believe how emotional I am seeing you two together at his big win
francisca.cgomes ❤️❤️❤️ ❤️ by author
username just realised i am not as over y/nlando as i thought i was. in fact i am not over y/nlando at all.
username well seeing you with FORMULA 1 RACE WINNER Lando Norris just hit me right in the feels💔
landonorris Thanks for being there to share the moment with us ❤️ ❤️ by author
landonorris Also I think after this you might now have to come to every race ever
y/n.y/l clearing my schedule as we speak 🫡
username i am so ready to be delusional
05 May 2024
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kurokawaia · 2 months ago
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❛ HE'S GOT A CRUSH ❜
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Tokito Muichiro X Fem!Reader
WC; 700+ | !MDNI! | TW/CW :: FLUFF SO FLUFFY, this is so cute im sobbing, x fem reader, reader is a girl, you two are both 14, TEENAGE LOVE OMG,
*ੈ✩‧₊˚𝑅𝐸𝒬𝒰𝐸𝒮𝒯 :: Could we maybe get a cute and wholesome Muichiro x fem! Reader? He's 14 I believe, so nothing over the top, but just a cute little thing where he sees Ginko is actually being nice and prideful of reader, then when he asks about it, she replies "Caw! Bc y/n is just as strong as you are, so it makes sense why you have a crush on her!" Then Muichiro gets embarrassed while reader just accepts his feelings XD - @freddleafton12345-blog
m.list | demon slayer m.list
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You were training. That's all you were doing. Muichiro was there with you, though he was being quite and stoic as usual, he was there. You could feel him today, just out of sight. It was a comforting presence in its own right.
You also noticed Ginko, his crow, perched on a branch not too far off. Her sharp, no judging eyes follow your every movement, and you could have sworn she was being. over-proud? It was almost like she was waiting for something.
Finishing your training session, you wiped the sweat from your forehead and sheathed your katana, turning to where you knew Muichiro was standing. He slowly emerged from behind a tree, his usual detached expression in place, though his eyes were focused on you.
"Hey, Muichiro!" you said happily, flashing him a soft, gentle smile.
He barely nodded, his eyes never once leaving yours, and said nothing right away.
You were the only one Muichiro can tolerate, he enjoys your presence, he like how happy you are because when he's around you his heart pounds and tingles. He likes the sensation.
Before either of them could say another word, Ginko flew down from her branch and landed beside Muichiro with a loud caw, puffing out her feathers proudly.
"Caw! {Name} is just as strong as you, Muichiro!" Ginko squawked.
Muichiro blinked in mild confusion, turning to his crow. "What do you mean?" he asked calmly, but it did sound like he was slightly confused.
You chuckled. "I think she's just complimenting me," you said, but the way Ginko had looked at both of you made you suspect she wasn't done yet.
And you were right.
Ginko's next words came out loud and clear. "Because {Name} is just as strong as you are! So of course you have a crush on her!"
We froze.
Muichiro immediately went bright red, a colour you never see him in. His usual expression crumpled, his eyes wide from surprise. He stared at Ginko then at you before back at Ginko, without a single word to say.
"I-I don't," he stuttered, protesting weakly.
You could see the panic rising on his features, and it really was the cutest thing you had ever seen.
Your cheeks flushed warmly too. You couldn't help the laugh that escaped you. "Oh, is that so?" you teased softly as you stepped a little closer to Muichiro.
"I don't. Ginko's just. I mean," he muttered, staring down at his feet.
He turned to you again, his eyes wide with surprise still. It was rare to see Muichiro this flustered, and such a sight took hold of your heart.
Ginko apparently was very satisfied with herself and gave another proud caw. "Yes! Muichiro has a crush on {Name}, just like I said! And I am always right!"
Muichiro's flustered state made you smile hoplessly because it was a sight you'veg never seen on him. Going easy on him, you took another step closer and laid a comforting hand on his arm. He looked up at you, still somewhat lost, his eyes searching your face for some sort of clue on how to respond.
"Muichiro," you said softly, kindly, "I think that's really sweet."
His face flushed even more and this time he didn't try to deny it. Instead, he just stared at you, softening into your gaze as he realized you weren't teasing him. In his eyes, you could tell how nervous he is, which made your heart beat so, so fast.
You smiled warmly as you took another step closer. "I accept your feelings," you said with a softly.
Muichiro blinked, plainly trying to wrap his brain around what you'd just said. For a moment, it seemed his mind had gone blank. But then, ultra-slowly, a small smile pulled at the corners of his lips, so slight you'd have almost missed it if you weren't standing quite that near him.
"Thanks," he whispered, his voice inaudible, his eyes coy and wide, yet within them held a certain warmth that fluttered your chest.
Ginko was quite proud of what she had done. She said, "Look! See? I told you! Ginko is never wrong!"
You laughed again. Looking back at Muichiro, who is still till beet-faced and embarrassed, but deep inside, his heart went racing from the situation, he didn't know how to act around you now that you knew, but he was certain things would grow further. And you were hoping for it to, as well.
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Do not copy, steal, modify use for AI, etc. Relogs and like are appreciated.
m.list | demon slayer m.list
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opal-owl-flight · 3 months ago
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Your Protege. (Pt 2)
(Pt 1)
SAME DAY DELIVERY. HERE WE GO.
This is the only time theyve shown such sheer anger in front of anyone. Theyre usually just cold, or disappointed -- never furious.
Its one of the times Neo3 actually feared the captain.
MORE NOTES ABT CUTTLEFISH BELOW
Not over how Cuttlefish is this fuckign loony old man who pushes his ideas on young 3, constantly goinf "yall kids think Im crazy but LOOK WHOS RIGHT FOR ONCE", "I cant fight anymore, thats why I got you!", "Youre hero material, kid! Youre gonna be big!!"
Then raves abt how the Octarians are evil
3, who was desperate for praise from someone who reminds them of their direct relatives, does everything he says to do just to be appreciated more.
Cuttlefish taught them how to fight hand to hand. How to move and think on their feet. (Though they were given similar in their younger years)
Cuttlefish was... generally more warm and supportive than their dad, but yknow. A lot of this started bc 3 agreed to work for him. Be his deadly weapon.
-------
Cuttlefish was more concerned abt the Zapfish than 3s well-being then... He knew that the constant praising was working so hes gonna keep doing it. (...mostly bc thats what worked on HIM back then)
After 3 does his dirty work, he realized he should probably keep the kid around bc his paranoia with Octaria is a damn bitch and this kid is one hell of an ass kicker. They dont mind. Right??
3 never showed any sign of wanting to leave. Why would they, he was so kind to them, more than their dad or grandad ever was. (Also the paranoia rubbed off on them. Oops!)
Then, he asked them to go on a longer patrol with him. Pushed them to their fucking limit. Bc of what?? Octaria making moves again? (Octavio did make moves but they were already, as we say in the game, "too far from the objective to really contribute to the fight". This is why agent 4 was dragged in.)
There, 3 saw more and more that hes just a loony old man who wanted to have a fancy weapon to protect him in his crusade. A crusade they never really questioned, mind you. Theyve no reason to believe Octaria was nice in any way, not when they keep trying to kill them. (...in self defense. They havent realized, yet.)
Then they encounter 8, who had dropped her weapon at the sight of them. Raising her hands in surrender. 3 was far ahead of the coot, and managed to actually talk to her and everything. They were this close to bringing her back to Inkopolis as a friend, until the bastard ruined the moment.
Cuttlefish still told them that she was a danger. It might be a trick! Dont put your guard down! Pressured to follow their superior, 3s mask returns to their face, turning onto 8 with the herl shot ready to fire.
Then they all tumbled into the metro.......
....for Cuttlefish to use yet ANOTHER kid (8) to get him out of a hairy situation.
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Hes a crazy old man. Only caring for any of the kids beyond the platoon after they do his dirty work.
Like "mmm! Thank you for committing the war crimes in my stead. Youre a good kid, you know that? Anything I can do to support you further? Mmmm???"
...I dont think hes aware.
Hes not aware that hes harming the entire platoon, bc in his mind hes doing the greater good here. Get some easily manipulable kids on the street, shower em with praise and promises of glory and valor, and theyll do ANYTHING for you.
Including the warcrimes you keep wanting to do.
I think...I think he doesnt know hes manipulating the kids. I think he genuinely believes his own promises. He glamorizes the valor of war bc hes a commander who sits in the back of it. He really believes that this is for the best. He believes that this is how you inspire your troops to fight.
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LETS GO THATS ALL MY NOTES I SPENT ALL DAY FINISHING THIS COMIC. GOODNIGHT INKOPOLIS!!!
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northern-passage · 2 years ago
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INTERESTING actually way more people than i expected saying that they prefer sad (or at least bittersweet) endings. much to think about....
when you guys are reading a "dark romance" or a "horror romance" do you prefer a happy ending or a sad ending?
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pedrithink · 1 year ago
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delicate ✩ jude bellingham
about: the massive hate you are getting on internet and the way jude stood by you, supporting you.
couple: jude bellingham x reader! singer
request: hey babyyyy! what do u think about a jude x reader (maybe olivia rodrigo fc) ?? xxx love u
face claim: olivia rodrigo
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NOW: Jude’s Bellingham talks ‘Real Madrid’, His first World Cup’s impressions & His favorite Y/N’s songs.
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comments ⬇️
user1 he’s so perfect 🥹 yn and him seemed like soulmates
user2 I REMEMBERED WHEN YN POINTED AT JUDE DURING GORGEOUS AND HE TOOK A PHOTO AND SHE WAS ALL GIGGLY
user3 yn once said “you’re so gorgeous, it actually hurts” and “they say home is where the heart is, but that's not where mine lives. you know I love a london boy.”
user4 @user3 im yn
user5 imagine being jude bellingham and having yn write her best love songs and best title tracks about you a DREAM
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judebellingham has added to their story
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ynusername
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Liked by judebellingham, selenagomez, and 5.682.972 others
ynusername vampire song and video out now 🧛🏼. writing this song helped me sort through lots of feelings of regret, anger, and heartache. it's one of my favorite songs on the album and it felt very cathartic to finish. im so happy it's in your hands now and I hope it helps u deal with any bloodsuckers in your lite. all my thanks 4ever 🫶🏻
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judebellingham proud of you, vampie 🧛🏼🩸🥹🫶🏻
ynusername @judebellingham love u babs
user1 vampire is one of the best songs ever
user2 another song about another ex 🥱🙄
user3 @user2 literally let people write out their feelings or WHATEVER they want. obviously yall can only attack women for this tho...
user4 people calling yn boring or overrated for writing songs about her ex does not sit right w me …. like let her write about whatever she wants?? she’s 20??? all singers have songs about their ex’s???? stfu
user5 @user4 SPEAK. ON. IT
user6 "yn makes too much songs ab her ex" "all she write is break up songs, she’s so obsessed"
ok then stop listening to her songs 🤷🏻‍♀️
user7 whaaaaat 😭 why are there so many people mad that yn wrote some songs about her ex. meanwhile, there are men who only write songs about fucking hoes and using drugs and yet they still get praised for it 🥱
judebellingham
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Liked by ynusername, masonmount, and 7.899.082 others
judebellingham date night with vampie to celebrate all of her achievements, proud of u ❤️‍🩹
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ynusername 🧛🏻‍♀️🩸❤️‍🩹🧛🏼
user8 JUDE CALLING YN VAMPIE >>>>
user9 i hope i find someone who supports me the way jude supports yn
user10 ill always be soft for these two. its amazing how jude supports yn in any way he can and yn never forgets to save jude a seat. fucking POWER COUPLE!!!
user11 @user10 i just love them
user12 lets talk about the fact that at the 2020 grammys she didn’t feel like there was someone to celebrate with and now she has one and he helps her and supports her and take her on dates when she achieves more and more in her singing career 🥹
user13 yn and jude be like: happiest relationship of my life, so let’s go cheer for my breakup songs together 💕💞💓💗💖💘
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ynusername
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Liked by judebellingham, arianagrande, and 10.927.526 others
ynusername delicate is out now 🫧 surprise song for y’all, hope u like it 🫶🏻
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user14 delicate video really speaks to me. yn let go of the world's expectations of how she should act, smile and behave. once she did that, she was able to find who she was looking for. i’m shaking and crying, so so proud of our baby!!!!
user15 @user14 it’s already my favorite music video of her!!!! i love the lyrics 2
user16 these pics were taking by jude i’m CRYING and the lyrics… I JUST LOVE HIM EVEN MORE
user17 @user16 yeah 🥹 i’m so happy that she found someone that makes her feel like that
user18 delicate is one of the most beautiful songs yn has ever written, it’s so GENUINE.
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yesimwriting · 10 months ago
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hii 💗
so im currently obsessed with best friend!felix and wanted to request that perhaps their relationship evolves to a point where they’re practically dating but they’re both unaware of it
thank youu
a/n omg you understand them so well
----
There are certain expectations attached to Felix's name, weaved into each syllable like delicate stitches in a tapestry that depicts a family crest. You're not unaware of what the world associates with him, not oblivious enough to lack a general idea of what most assume when they think of being close to someone like him.
People would never guess that the best part of being best friends with Felix are the little things, the small gestures that show how careful he can be when he cares.
The girls you usually sit with in your last class changed so drastically when they saw him on the bench outside of your lecture hall. They whispered and giggled and twirled silky hair around their fingers. It made something in your stomach turn to stone... and you still can't figure out why. You'd be hypocritical to fault them for gossip.
They eventually started chatting about the type of girls someone like him must like. That only made things more awkward when Felix finally spotted you and waved you over. They gaped at you, and with Felix waiting, you weren't given the space needed to stumble through an explanation. The only thing you could manage was a shy 'it's not like that' and a sentence you barely remember that used the word 'friend' way too many times to be structurally sound. It didn't stop them from begging you for details next class before you finally walked away.
Now, in Felix's room, his hand on your shoulder, firm enough to be anchoring, you can't help but compare reality with what they must be imagining. The only details you can offer them are mundane. A fact that only makes you more protective of these moments. They wouldn't get it.
You're convinced no one can, so why take their comments to heart? Even Farleigh, who actually does know Felix tries to twist your friendship into something salacious, something worth gossiping about.
"You're tense." His voice comes out so low you're not sure if you're meant to respond. Felix's thumb traces circles against the top of your shoulder. "You said you had a good day today."
Felix reads your mood with a talent that'd make you uneasy if he was anyone else. "I did." The words feel flat, tired, even though your day was objectively good. You had time to stop for a coffee before class, a TA handed back graded exams and you did better than expected, and you finally finished your essay. "Just Tuesday and Thursday classes."
He nods once empathetically, thumb pressing into your skin. "Tired?"
"Yeah."
The two of you are quiet for a moment. Lulls in conversation have a tendency to make you feel the need to compensate. With Felix, the silence never asks to be rushed through. "Want to rest your eyes for a little?"
This wouldn't be the first time you took a nap in Felix's room. It's not exactly a habit--yet--but it's circling that territory. Sometimes he'll go to sleep with you, other times he'll stay up reading to you.
The offer is irritatingly perfect. You want to say yes, but you--ugh. This is what you get for talking to Farleigh. This is ridiculous. There isn't anything unusual or potentially romantic about your friendship with Felix. You're close, and when it comes to Felix, close is all consuming.
You briefly let your eyes shut. "Sounds nice, but I--I have a lot of homework."
In one movement, he lets his hand slip down your arm and his head fall against your shoulder. "C'mon," his breath is warm against your neck, "I'm tired, too."
The weakness in your resolve makes you like yourself a little less. You swallow, mentally preparing yourself to fight against your fondness. "Out late partying?"
He sighs against you, the sound more amused than it wants to be. "Oh, yeah, Oliver and I were out until the ungodly hour of 11:30." You move your arm, nails brushing a few strands of his hair back into place. "I sleep better when you're here."
Felix is always so warm, it's nearly impossible to not get caught up in it. You almost told him that he could have come over. That the movie you went to see with your roommate had ended around 10:30 and that the only reason you were dismissive when he called is because of what Farleigh had said in the library.
Instead, you settle for running your fingers through his hair. "I told you, Nadia and I went to the movies."
He sighs again, the sound a little sharper this time, almost a huff. A smile tugs at your lips. Felix looks up, half-glaring-half-pouting. "You think it's funny?"
"No," you try, extending the syllable in an attempt to prove your innocence.
Something shifts, you feel it before Felix moves. He straightens, taking his weight off you, likely in an attempt to lull you into a false sense of insecurity. You lean back, resting your weight on one hand. The bit of space you're quick enough to create isn't enough to save you.
Felix leans forward, hand finding the shoulder farthest from him. It's instinct to lean back further in an attempt to duck out from beneath his arm. The move paired with a laugh that makes you lose balance proves to be a mistake. Felix is too tall, too inescapable. His other hand finds your side and you have no choice but to let your back hit the mattress.
He's not pinning you down, but he is hovering in a way that makes you think twice about moving. "Felix." It's meant to come off as threatening, but you're still giggling and it only makes him grin.
"What?" You bravely lift an arm, placing your palm flat on his chest. You will yourself to push him away. He pulls a hand back, giving up trapping you in favor of covering the back of your palm with the front of his. "You started it."
"Doesn't sound like me."
His smile widens. "No?"
He pulls your hand away from him, and for a second, you think he might be ready to release you, but then he presses a kiss to the side of your hand. The warmth of the gesture would normally make you dizzy, but with Farleigh's words ringing in your ears...it's impossible to fully relax.
His eyebrows pinch together, "You okay?"
"Yeah," you hum, "Just tired. Like you said."
He gently sets your hand down. "Y'sure you don't want a nap?"
"No." You're only human. "A nap sounds nice. Just need to use the bathroom first."
Felix squeezes your hand once before shifting onto his back. His absence leaches all the heat from your body. Suddenly, it does feel like a damp autumn day.
You sit up, sock clad feet instinctually slipping into Felix's discarded slippers. They're too large, and you always have to remember to watch your step when you steal them, but they're so plush it's worth the caution.
There's a familiar bundle of fabric thrown over the back of the desk chair. You unzip your jacket. The cold air bites at you as you slip off the thin fabric. You grab Felix's jumper, instinctually pulling it over your head. The material engulfs you in his essence.
You shut the door behind you as you step into his bathroom. Why is something so small getting to you so much? And something that Farleigh, of all people, planted in your head. He likes to twist things until they resemble something entertaining or beneficial. We're just friends. Are you sure?
What kind of a question even is that? Obviously, you'd know if you were dating someone. Obviously, you'd know if you were dating Felix. So of course your answer was a little forced and awkward. Farleigh should have teased you about it. Instead, he looked at you oddly, eyebrows pulled together almost sympathetically, and told you he couldn't remember the last time he'd seen anyone be that close with their friends. Not even Felix.
Okay--don't think about it. What does Farleigh know about genuine, platonic friendships?
You turn on the sink. Splashing some water on your face will he--a bottle of moisturizer and face wash. Spares that you had picked up for Felix to try, go to's for you during impromptu sleepovers.
You force yourself to look up. Your reflection stares back at you, Felix's jumper sliding off your shoulder, exposing the sleeve of your shirt.
You dab water against your face before shutting off the sink. Maybe some sleep will help. You'll take your nap, and then you and Felix will wake up, and you'll see that everything's the same.
Felix is already beneath the sheets when you step out of the bathroom. You walk to the edge of the bed, sliding off his slippers before climbing into bed.
"Darling?" You hum in response before craning your neck to look at him. Felix's gaze is fixed on the ceiling. "Are y--Did something happen?" You freeze. Has Farleigh been telling other people what he told you? Did all of it circle back to Felix in some embarrassing way? "With us, I mean?"
The clarification is too small, too uncertain to fit him. You lift your head. "What?" His attention is still on what's above. "No." With a sigh, you lean forward until your chin's resting on his stomach. "Of course we're fine." He tilts his head slightly, eyes finally landing on yours. Felix is quiet for a moment, taking in your expression. Treating him differently isn't fair. "Do you think we're too close?"
His expression falters, the slight concern behind his eyes morphing into something more closed off. "You--you think we're too close?"
"No." You don't even have to think about it. Maybe that's what bothered you about what Farleigh said. You don't want to think about what should be different because you know you don't want to feel less close to him.
He doesn't ease, and you can't blame him. You place a hand on his side, smoothing your thumb up and down the fabric of his shirt. "I--just--the other day, Farleigh ran into me in the library, and we started talking and he made some comments...." Felix groans. "About how close we were, and at first, it just felt like Farleigh, and then he said a lot of people assume things and--I--"
"Who cares what other people think?" Felix shifts, his fingers tracing patterns against your back. "We're happy with how we are."
You smile, "Yeah." It's probably easy to dismiss opinions and rumors when you're someone like Felix. You decide that it's okay to borrow his worldview. "I am happy."
Felix grins, available hand moving to grab yours. He kisses your palm before placing your hand back on his side. He squeezes your hand against the space between his ribs and hip. "I'm happy, too."
You grin, angling your head downwards to press a kiss against his chest before laying down fully. Felix's knuckles run up and down your back. It's soothing, making everything else disappear long enough to let you fall asleep.
----
taglist; @vader-is-hot @spiritofbuddha @getosangie @freyafriggafrey @ilovehyperfixating @aryiannarae
i love how much you guys seem to like bestfriend!felix 😭 i have some more requests/fics for him coming,, someone in one of my asks said they weren't sure if i was still taking requests for him and i definitely am,, he's so fun to write for
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noellefan101 · 3 months ago
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Not Replaceable
Characters: Alhaitham x GN reader
ft Kaveh and a weighted blanket(bc you can't tell me alhaitham wouldn't sleep with it, and that hes not autistic).
Warnings: not proofread, and definitley ooc but whatever
Note: this is heavily inspired by a fic i saw some months ago, but i cant remember their username and its kinda sad :(
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he's been staring at your back for 30 minutes now, you seriously promised it would be dry tomorrow, its the best you can do.
"Haitham.. do you need anything?".
"you already know what i need…".
you looked at the man, and you sweared he looked like a kicked puppy, all because you had to wash his blanket today. you feel sorry for him, but it had to be done.
"yes, i do. but you can't sleep with a," you tried once again to convince him "a big wet piece of cloth" to just try and sleep without it.
"you could also just take multible blankets and stack them, or try to be a normal person like the rest of us" ah, Kaveh walked in, probably to get another cup of coffee, and to annoy Haitham as usual.
"not the same" Alhaitham said almost immediately after Kaveh had spoke, "it doesn't weigh enough, all the ones we have are too light for me to do that" you guess he's right, since it isn't the best to have too many layers of warmth in sumeru's heat.
you and alhaitham dont have that many blankets combined anyway, unless Kaveh woul- "alright! whatever, just dont take all mine like you did last time!" guess he already said no to that option then.
"i didn't take all of yours, just a few, you still had one left" i mean, he is kind of right, as much as you didnt want to agree with that at the moment.
"uggghhh… im going now, solve that yourselves" Kaveh spoke, walking out of the room with a new coffee mug in hand.
"love, are you sure you dont want to just try with the multible blankets?" you wanted to try just one more time, even though you were sure it wasnt going to actually convince him.
"yes" alright, then you dont have any other ideas. so you tried to brainstorm some more, though none would fix the actual problem at hand.
"i could make you some tea? or you could jsut read until you feel tired?" you wanted to help him so bad, but nothing just seemed like it would work. since yours was way too light, and you cant really go out and buy another on eofr him right now.
and his still shouldn't be dry enough to use. "no" he said as you gave out a sigh, you wanted so badly to give up on trying to find a replacement. but you still couldn't let yourself do it, you still wanted to help him actually sleep today.
"are you… sure nothing can work as a replacement, even just for today?" you're sure you looked so defeated at the moment, but it didn't matter now.
"…" silence huh? maybe he's thinking about it, or maybe he gave up as well. you cant really tell, and you're too tired to try understand what's behind those pretty eyes right now.
so you guess you should just-"lay on me" did you hear that right?? "what?" you cant do anything but question him. too focused on figuring what he was trying to do, or if you heard the wrong thing.
"i know you heard me, lay on me" so you weren't just hearing his words incorrectly, "but why would that help?".
"you weigh about enough to work as a weighted blanket" you looked at him surprised, "…excuse me?" you cant help but feel a little annoyed at him. although you knew what he meant know.
"i didn't mean it like that, i swear" he quickly spoke back. coming closer to you, looking worried that he had used the wrong words.
"its okay, im messing with you. i know you wouldn't actually mean it like that" you smiled smugly, letting out a little whimper as he picked you up without warning.
you looked up at him, confused, "i-i," you stuttered out yet couldnt finish the sentence before you felt him pull you in closer to him. "i can walk on my own you know!" it wasnt quite what you had wanted to say, but it would do.
he just looked at you and shrugged then put you gently down on the bed, and then he was laying beside you the moment it had come to you that he put you down.
you both looked right at each other once again, now face to face, in a silence you couldnt quite say was nice but it wasnt unpleasant either. well before he spoke up anyway, "are you going to move or do i have to?".
"huh?" you had already forgot why you were back in your bedroom by now, too focused on his eyes to care at the moment. "okay, i'll lift you up then" oh right, that it why you're here.
"sorry, w-wait atleast give me a warning first!" you wimpered out quickly as he took you up by your torso and put you down onto his chest. "i did give you a warning." you pouted at that.
"not a good enough warning, smartass" you clearly tried to sound stern, as if it mattered at all. but by the way your lips curled up and you just cuddled in closer to him, you clearly didnt mind.
it had been about 10 minutes by now, and you were fast asleep, although alhaitham wasnt quite yet. he was tired, yes, but maybe he had focused too much on you being right there than actually sleeping.
he wasnt complaining, dont get me wrong, but maybe it wasnt the smartest to have you on him when he wasnt suposed to focus on you. you just looked so pretty all curled up on his chest while still trying to cover him up as much as you could, even in your dreams.
he will fall asleep soon, just let him enjoy your sleeping form a little longer.
and yes, he should get a second weighted blanket, but he won't. because he now hopes gets to enjoy a moment like this every time the blanket has to be washed.
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thx for reading, this is a very weird whatever but im trying to cook something up i just cant cook rn-Masterlist
You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts
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satangcrush · 4 months ago
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adoration of love
✦ CAST: diavolo x reader (established), solomon & reader ✦ SUMMARY: based on this tumblr post but i personally thought it suited diavolo more! super short drabble because i thought it was super funny ✦ WC: 0.4k
| MASTERLIST
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“MC!” A familiar voice rang throughout the hall as you ducked past the various students, speaking in a hushed tone to Solomon who was also heading to your next class together.
In the distance, you could see Diavolo waving at you at the front of the dining room entrance door. You made to hurry your pace so that you could at least speak to him for a few seconds before the second class bell rang. At your side, Solomon jogged slightly to keep with your pace.
“He-” The door slammed into you before you could finish your sentence.
“Pretty cute.” Diavolo smirked, giving you a once over as he walked past you. Even in your shell-shocked state, you still registered Barbatos sending you an apologetic look as he trailed behind his liege.
?!?
“Did he just let the door hit me and walk away?” Your voice cracked in disbelief. He may be the Demon Prince and even the next-in-line for the Demon King title but, but the audacity! He didn’t even stop to apologise to you and he just left without saying anything else!
“...” You looked over at Solomon, intending for him to help you with your bizarre situation, but he was trying to stifle his laughter yet it was still obvious that he was snickering behind his covered palm over his mouth.
“I-I-I can’t believe he actually did it.”
“Did what?” You questioned before gasping, “Don’t tell me… Solomon! You stupid hag, what kind of nonsense did you teach Diavolo?” 
“Pft… I sent him this human world meme that if you ‘accidentally’ hit someone with a door, you should follow it up with ‘pretty cute’ because get it? He’s hitting on you.”
Your mouth gaped open in disbelief and you could already feel the onset of a headache coming on. Was this how Lucifer felt every time he dealt with Mammon? …You were starting to understand his pains.
Gosh, were you dealing with children? How in the three realms are these two idiots OLDER than you? Why did Diavolo even think it was remotely HILARIOUS?
(Honestly, once you calmed down, you also thought it was somewhat funny but you would never admit it to these two. You just know that Solomon would enable Diavolo to do so much much worse if left to his own devices.)
“Why… so angry?” He opened his mouth to continue but choked on his laughter again, “You should be happy that he adores you. Get it?” This time, he doubled over with laughter, eyes creasing up as small tears dotted his vision.
You really want to hit him.
“Spirits of wind…” 
“Hey, hey, hey, MC. Wait! I was just kidding!”
“...Bring your force to bear onto the human named Solomon before me!”
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a/n▸ this was supposed to be for diavolo’s part for another fic but solomon took over LOL so im making this its own post. 
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abbyslvrrr · 22 days ago
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Fade into you pt.2
Boxer!sevika x topside!reader
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Finally done part 2! (it literally took me a whole month) I kept losing motivation to write BUT I FINALLY FINISHED TODAY!! Hope y’all like it! (I don’t think I’ll continue this tbh) I feel like this kinda sucks ass can’t lie.
WC: 1167
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The following day, you couldn't stop thinking about Sevika and the interaction you had with her. The way she got so close to you, the way she looked as she was sitting there and smoking her cigarette. Ugh, you needed to stop thinking of her seriously! Are you actually considering going back? She told you she had a fight next week and you were off next week. 
"Just stop it!” You knew your parents would freak out if they ever found out you went to the undercity, let alone thinking about going back there, but why was the thought of not seeing Sevika making you feel so down? As the next week started approaching, you finally made your decision to go and see Sevika again; you couldn't shake her out of your head. The problem was, you didn't want to tell Sam about it, but you also didn't know your way around the undercity. God, this was going to be a mission. 
You decide to wear something cute this time around—a long-sleeve low-cut shirt and a cute black skirt. For shoes, you went with black combat boots. You do your hair and makeup, grabbing your phone and bag ready to head out, when all of a sudden your mother walks in. 
“Where do you think you're going, young lady?” She questioned you. Shit, what would you say?
"Um, im going to Sams, yeah. She's having a little girls night!” praying that she believed you, sometimes it blew your mind that as an adult your mother was still so stuck with you. You actually hated it, but you didn't say anything about it. Your mother nodded her head.
"Okay, be safe honey. Text me when you get home, okay?” she said as she hugged you and left you be. You sighed and went out. You kind of felt bad for lying to your mother, but it was whatever at this point. Stepping out of your house, you try your best to remember the way Sam took you, and you find yourself where she took you last time. 
As you walk your way over to the fighting ring, you can't help but feel eyes all on you. ‘Of course they'd stare; you literally look like you're from the topside.’ you say to yourself. You get there and see Sevika already in the ring fighting her opponent. You manage to get yours close enough to see her. 
The guy she is fighting is like 2x bigger than her, and yet she's so unfazed by it. He lands a hit on Sevika and knocks her back, but only for a second because she's right back and hits him back so hard he goes flying back. There's a small break that was called; Sevika looks into the crowd and manages to spot you. She thought you were so easily spottable; you see her and smile at her. You see the blood on her face, probably a bloody nose. She sends a wink your way, and you swear you passed out there. After the break, Sevika and the guy were at it again. He goes to hit him, but Sevika has him figured out this time and blocks his punch, and she knocks him to the ground; he stays there, probably passed out. 
Sevika is declared winner once again, and everyone goes crazy like last week. Sevika motions to the back, where the little room is. You make your way through the busy crowd and step into the room.
“You came, doll.” Her voice boomed; god, her voice was like fucking music to your ears. Why is she making you feel this way? You could listen to her voice all day.
"Yeah, I did come back; I don’t really know why.” Suddenly, your shoes became the most interesting thing in the world. A part of you wanted to get to know Sevika, possibly befriend her, maybe something more. But knowing that Sevika was from the undercity and a boxer, you knew it could never happen. Feeling a warm hand grab your chin gently and lift it up broke you out of your little trance. You are met with Sevika's eyes; god, you could get lost in those eyes of hers. She leans in a bit closer.
"Oh, you know why, doll, don't play stupid with me. You wanted to come see me; that's why you're here.” You hated how right she was. She pulled away from you and backed away. 
“Lets celebrate my win doll." She opened the door for you, and you walked out. The bar was crowded, and so was the dance floor; you felt a bit nervous about this not really being your scene. She grabbed your hand and dragged you to a table where a couple other guys were seated. She pulled you to that table sitting down; you sat beside her. 
Everyone looked a bit intimidating to you. Someone approaches the table and hands Sevika a drink; of course they would know what she liked. She fights here and celebrates here. Sevika chugs down her drink before looking at you. 
“So what do you usually drink? Something fancy?” The truth was you never really drank; when you did drink, it was just a small bit of wine or a little champagne. You didn't even know if you should drink anything tonight; I mean, how would you even go home? 
"Oh, I usually have a bit of wine, but I don't think I'll drink tonight.” You explain to her; she lets out a small chuckle. God,  she was perfect. No! You can't be thinking of her like that. Her voice brought you out of your thoughts.
“I figured as much; I don't think you'd find the best kind around here.” Sevika says as she starts on her second drink of the night. Hours go by and you have amazing conversations with Sevika; she tells you all about the undercity, and you tell her about Piltover. You knew that conditions down in the undercity were not great at all, and she was so passionate talking about her place here. You admired that about her. Hours pass, and before you know it, the time is 2330 and you have to leave. Sevika offers to take you at least halfway. 
Staying close to Sevika, you two begin the journey back. As you get closer and closer to where you need to go, Sevika asks you a question. “Would you want to come down again next week? "Uh, don’t have a fight, so we can maybe just spend the day together.” 
You put a hand on her bicep, smiling up at her, “Of course, Sevika. I’ll see you here again next week.” She pulls her phone out and gives it to you, typing in your number and saving it into her phone. You reach up and give Sevika a kiss on her cheek. “See you sev!" With that, you run off.
Sevika makes it her goal to get with you no matter what.
 
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soft4gguk · 4 months ago
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to build a home | chapter thirteen
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Pairing: Jungkook x reader. ceo!jk + dilf!jk x nanny!oc
Genre: strangers to lovers. angst. fluff. smut.
Word count: 9k
Warnings: angst. angst. angst. i’m so sorry. jealousy. self doubt. ira talks im sorry!!! but i felt like it was important. oblivious kookie :/ confused oc!! sad oc :( soori’s teething and it breaks my heart. oral (f receiving) 😈 
Author’s note:  hi besties!! another tbah sunday! i love being back soo much. this is an odd chapter, i feel. i sort of lost track of time and how much of it i actually had to finish so it’s a bit of a shorter one. it’s missing the final part, sort of. and it was making me anxious! because i wanted to post today. and then i remembered i make the rules so… chapter fourteen is coming no longer than wednesday!! it’s outlined and it’ll be what was missing in this chapter. we’re back to tbah sundays after that tho :)  i love u guys so much. do let me know what u think of this chappie, i love book clubbing with yall!! xoxo
This is a work of fiction. Please respect the members and their privacy. x
Chapter Thirteen 
When you get home that night, you smell like him. It alters your senses, your body nothing but a phantom touch of where he’d been. You look at yourself in the mirror and laugh at how obvious his mark is. He doesn’t just show on your smudged mascara or your messy hair, no. He’s all over your eyes. You can’t tell if the glint in them is from the remnants of the pleasure he made you feel or from the tears that threaten to fall. And perhaps that’s just what you need. To cry. Not with feminine rage music playing in the background, or in a burst of anger, but just to cry. To let yourself feel whatever it is your heart needs to. You can feel it, the way it screams at you and begs you to just let it be. 
So you let it. You shower, letting your tears get lost in the water that falls down your body. You cry when you let yourself release the feeling and you cry when you wash him off your body, his smell going down the drain alongside your anger. Now you’re just sad. 
You cry your skincare off and give up on it tonight. You brush your hair until you can’t stare at yourself in the mirror anymore, because it just makes you cry more. For some reason the reflection that stares back at you convinces you that this is why he doesn’t love you. You look like a little child, hopeless and helpless. Eyes puffy, bared faced, in your old pajamas with the faded print that once said, born to be cute. You’ve had them since you were fifteen and all of a sudden, your nostalgic attachment feels dumb. You feel dumb. And pathetic. And sad. Your brain is cruel, letting you know exactly what it thinks. How could he want to be with someone like this? Like you? It’s almost ironic how your words of hatred all originate from words of love. From the words of love he didn’t reciprocate. 
You think of Ira, because the streak of cruelty couldn’t just end there. You think of her beauty, of her face. You wonder if she ever felt like this about herself. If she ever stared at the mirror and didn’t feel like the reflection staring back at her was enough. You don’t want to be unfair towards her, but you doubt it. You doubt someone like her could ever walk into a room with uncertain steps and words that faltered. All you can see when you look at her is confidence and beauty. Her and Jungkook made sense together. It almost felt like a perfect trick from the universe – a power move. 
You get under your covers, exhausted and with the hints of a headache that threatens to settle aggressively if you kept the tears running. You hug the teddy bear you’d grown emotionally attached to when you were six. It makes you feel pathetic yet again, but it also brings comfort and so you pull it closer to you. You wonder if you’ll ever fully grow up. The heart ache turns into something bigger, something downright existential and it won’t stop. Even if you tell yourself that it’s irrational, that things just look bad right now but won’t be like this forever. The self doubt roots inside of you, growing branches that grow through your body. Will you ever become something out of who you are right now? Will you write a book, buy a house, travel the world, start a family? The last one breaks you with a nature that’s so acute it brings back the tears. 
You grab your phone, an intense desire to type Ira Sommersmith into the search bar. You find it kind of funny – to be comparing yourself to someone that you can literally google. When did you ever stand a chance with him, really? When did it ever make sense that he’d choose you? When did it occur to you that you were enough?
Ira was from a small town in Europe you couldn’t pronounce. When she was younger she spent most of her time riding horses, they were her biggest passion. She even says it in an interview after they ask her what she thinks she’d be doing if she wasn’t a model, pondering on it for a second before replying, “I’d be in a farm, riding horses all day.” And even though her hair is perfectly styled and she’s wearing very pointy stilettos, you believe her. Her dreams sound completely valid to you because amidst her sharp features, she has a soft face. 
Another article tells you she’d been scouted when she was sixteen. She’d been on holiday in London with her parents – she was an only child – and she’d gotten stopped in the street. In another interview where she talks about this, she laughs timidly when they ask her, her gaze down when she says, “they told me I was beautiful in the way things in important places where. Like magazines and billboards,” she softens the flattery by saying, “if you consider those things to be important, of course.” And it’s during that interview that you realize you can’t hate her. Not because you don’t want to, but because she makes it really hard to. 
She’d been on her own ever since – traveling the world, walking the most important catwalks in the most important cities, grazing the covers of every magazine and billboards, she’d even made a couple of movie appearances. You wonder how you could’ve missed her. She seemed to be everywhere. She sits on a makeup chair, two people behind her doing her hair at the same time, while someone else works on her face. She talks about having had a 4 am call time, sleeping very little the night before, being jet lagged and hungry. But she laughs as she says this. You almost laugh, too. The camera man asks her how she keeps up with the hecticness and she doesn’t sit on her words for even a second before she says, “I have a really great support system. My family, my friends. Also, I always keep a snack on me.” The video shows pictures of her, in different settings, with said family and friends. You actually recognize some of the faces – actresses, models, influencers. You pause the video in the middle of a particular frame when you see a face you recognize better than the others. It’s Kenny. It’s probably the picture that dates back the furthest, they both look so young. You type their names into another Google search and their friendship is revealed to you in an almost too perfect of a timeline. They’d been friends since they were eighteen after meeting backstage at a Chanel show. Your eyes widen. A Chanel show. Holy fuck. Who were you acquainted with? Kenny almost looks like a different person behind the camera, her eyes fierce and face cold. 
You scroll and scroll until something catches your eye. It’s a paparazzi picture, taken in a big city you don’t recognize. Hobi has his arm around Kenny and Ira and Jungkook hold hands and look into each other’s eyes as they strut down a sidewalk. It looks straight out of a catalog, or something. They’re perfect. Then it’s his name alongside hers that you’re typing into the search bar. You’re surprised to find that their relationship had been quite private, not a lot of information about it on the web besides the basics. Forbes talks about Ira being a model, Vogue talks about Jungkook being the heir to The West End Collection. The anonymity their relationship holds brings some sort of frenzy, though, as you read a couple of tweets and posts that idolize their relationship. Strangers wishing them the best, looking up to them, wishing they could have a boyfriend just like him. Another perfect paparazzi shoot of them at the beach, Jungkook picking Ira up from behind, mid-spin. She’s radiant as she laughs, body clad in a white bikini thar reveals her perfect body. There’s over 300 comments under the picture. Someone says, “if my girl looked like that I’d be in a good mood for the rest of my life.”
And you get it. You get it because she’s beautiful, and talented and easygoing. She’s confident but humble and when she speaks, you can see the way she thinks about the words before they leave her, making her sound so very eloquent. She’s gentle and dainty and her voice is soft. The more you scroll, the more you form these thoughts inside your head and then you find the perfect word to describe her: gracious. Elegant is a close second. 
Your eyes feel heavy and it’s nearly two a.m.. Your phone screen illuminates your face as another video plays. She’s being asked 73 questions. 
“What’s something you can’t live without?”
“My boyfriend.”
“So, you’re in love.”
She nods, a blush creeping up her cheeks.
“He’s the love of my life.”
~
Your body aches with exhaustion, courtesy of your late night perusing. Your gaze gets lost on the fruit you’re cutting at a lethargic pace and you don’t even react when you lose grip on the knife and it comes dangerously close to cutting through your skin. 
Mrs. Chae walks over to you, but you don’t notice her proximity until she’s placing a coffee cup in front of you, her movements gentle, like she understands. When you look up at her and smile, she smiles back, briefly caressing your arm before she’s back to busying herself with her morning responsibilities. Her kindness makes you want to cry. 
You hear Soori’s cries long before she enters your line of vision, and when she finally does, she’s pouting and squinting her eyes before letting out another long wail. 
“Oh, my sweet baby,” you walk over to them, running your hands down her cheeks, wiping her tears away. She turns around, nuzzling her face between Jungkook’s neck. 
“She’s been in pain since she woke up. I gave her a bottle and some Tylenol but nothing helps.” Jungkook rocks her from side to side, hand coming to cup her little head to try and comfort her, but her cries only get louder. 
“It’s okay, the medicine will kick in soon and I’ll keep her as comfortable as I possibly can,” you reassure him, but he still looks miserable, guilt settling in the closer he gets to having to leave.
“I hate to leave her like this.”
“You’re not leaving her. You’ll be back home soon. It’s okay, Jungkook, she’s going through a totally normal process. As painful as it is for her, she’ll be fine.”
He nods and she seems to calm down, too, turning around as if following the sound of your voice. She stares at you for a second and you smile and even though she doesn’t reciprocate it, she falls into your arms the way she does every morning. 
“Hi, baby,” you kiss her chubby cheeks. “You’ll be alright. Say, I’m gonna be okay daddy!” It’s sweet music to your ears as you get a little chuckle out of her when you raise her little arm. 
Jungkook stares at her, lovingly. He stares at you lovingly, too, only you’re too busy being sad to notice. You can barely look into his eyes. 
“I’ll probably be late today again, w-”
“We’ll be here. And I’ll be with her. Don’t worry.”
“Thank you, ___.”
And all you can do is smile at him, only allowing yourself to stare into his eyes for a brief second, because any longer could break you further and he’d have no other choice than to know. Perhaps that wouldn’t be such a bad thing – you’re smart enough to know that. But the side of you that can barely handle your feelings wonders how hard it’d be to share them, yet again, with him. Your heart, achey as ever reminds you that it was the shared feelings he couldn’t do anything about that land you right where you are now. 
You decide to be with your sadness, alone. 
~
Soori’s pain comes in waves. In the morning she’s fuzzy, then after breakfast she seems to be doing a little better. You two play in the garden and you let her get messy with watercolors. She’s distracted enough for all of two hours, which you deem a success in your book. She cries again as you put her down for her nap. She cries until she tires herself and you hold her through it all. When you try to put her down on her crib, she wakes up, tears threatening to leave her eyes again, and so you hold her and sit down on the rocking chair, letting her sleep on you. You let her sleep as much as she needs and when she wakes up, you have drool all over your shirt. You smile, knowing that’s a clear sign that it was a deep and successful nap.
She’s good during lunch time and then fuzzy again afterwards. She throws a block at you and you hate that you have to give her the gentle talk when she’s in such visible pain. But she’s good and she listens and when she nuzzles herself into your arms ten minutes later, you know it’s because she’s sorry. She’s so smart and it’s beginning to show in every aspect of her. 
You read her books, even as she cries halfway into the third, eventually falling asleep. You let her snooze in your arms once again, but try to keep the nap short so she can have a good night’s sleep. She’s a bit groggy and unhappy when you wake her up but she gets straight to playing afterwards. You make her a snack and it seems to be going well until she’s back to restless tears. It kind of reminds you of when you’d first met her, when you were certain about having obliterated your chances at getting to spend time with the “cute baby”. She cries and cries and yet all you can think of is how grateful you are that you got the job, by some odd chance and one hell of a lot of luck. 
You stare out into the garden as you rock her in your arms. Your exhaustion is starting to get the best of you and you’re relieved when she begins to calm down, her sobs turning into tiny sniffles and her head falling into your shoulder. You give her back soft, little pats as she relaxes in your hold. And right as you think she’s about to fall asleep, her head springs up and you hear her say,
“Dada!”
You turn around, surprised eyes on Jungkook as he makes his way inside the living room. He smiles at Soori, who jumps in your hold when he outstretches his arms in her direction as he greets her sweetly. 
“Hi, baby,” he takes her in his arms, lathering kisses all over her cheeks. She giggles and you smile in relief because it’s so good to see her so happy. “Daddy’s home! Did you miss me?” she claps her hands as if agreeing with him and he laughs, kissing all over her face.
“You’re home early,” you say, a small smile on your face as you take in the scene before you.
He takes a step forward, grabbing you by the waist and kissing you. It takes you by surprise but you let him. The kiss is deep but soft and it lasts longer than you’d expect. You feel his smile on your lips long before he pulls away. 
“We closed the deal,” he says. “It’s done. We did it.” 
You smile, hugging him to you. Your face to his chest and words muffled when you say, “congratulations.” 
Soori taps on your shoulder, whining as she gets smothered between the two of you, making you both laugh as you stare at her. She looks confused and pouty, can’t decide who she wants to entertain first. She smiles at you before she’s nuzzling her head against her father’s neck. Jungkook does a little jump and she shrieks in excitement, looking back at you and smiling again. 
“I want to celebrate,” he says.
“You should. I know how hard you’ve been working for this, it deserves a celebration.” 
“With you.” He pulls you closer once again. “And Soori. Us three. We can have dinner somewhere nice, what do you think?”
You ponder on his words, suddenly being hit with the exhaustion you’ve been carrying since the morning tenfold. You also think about the way your heart has been actively breaking since last night, and probably for the past two weeks. You look at his face, a big smile that makes him look young and carefree. In times like these you convince yourself that you see him like no one in the world can. 
“I don’t know, I-” you try, but the minute you see his smile drop, it’s impossible to keep up the cold front. “I don’t have anything fancy to wear.” you follow your lies with a smile. 
He kisses you again. “You don’t need to.”
“I’d have to go change though.”
“We can stop by your place,” he runs his hand through your hair. 
“Okay,” your voice is faint. Barely there.
“Great!” He turns to Soori, bouncing her in his arms. “I need to call Jin, run him through some final protocols. I’ll be twenty minutes tops and then we can go.” 
He says this in a hurry, making his way to his office already. 
“Aren’t you forgetting something?”
He looks at you, confused. “Huh,” and then it hits him as Soori chuckles. “Oh! Shit. Yeah.” He laughs, passing her over to you. “I’ll be right back.”
He kisses her forehead, then yours. When he turns around Soori looks at you. You stare back and shrug, making her laugh. 
“He’s funny, huh,” you say, and she laughs even louder. “Yeah, he is. You have a good daddy.”
And as much as your heart exhausts itself at your words, it knows that much is true. It just can’t help but wonder if it’s enough. 
~
You stand before your closet, hands on your hips as you attempt to find something that’s presentable enough for the very fancy and certainly very expensive restaurant Jungkook had chosen. French cuisine, classic interiors and a seasonal menu. You knew it was almost impossible to get a reservation because Lucy had studied their M.O. in class and often praised their chefs. In Jungkook’s case, the reservation was one call away and probably all but three minutes to finalize. He’d told you he frequented the place quite often and that they had, and you quote, a soft spot for him. 
You skim through your dresses, skirts, shirts, all a little frantically as you look at the time. You don’t have much of it, but luckily you’d done your makeup first thing, darkening your eyes a bit to distract from the fact that you wouldn’t be able to pull a dress that impressed. Your hair was in an updo that looked like it’d taken longer to perfect but in reality, you’d gotten lucky and got it just right the first time. 
You’re in nothing but your underwear, as if the power of your sight alone could make fancy little dresses magically appear. You don’t know what to do, and so you call Lucy. 
“Hello, you,” she greets sweetly.
“Lucy, I don’t have anything to wear.”
“I’ve been well! How have you been, ___? Oh! I miss you, too.”
You laugh, playfully rolling your eyes. “I miss you more than you miss me, I can guarantee that much.”
“Never,” she says, “what’s this fashion emergency about?”
“Well, we’re going to La Mélodie and-”
“Woah?”
“Yeah,” you sigh.
“Date night, huh?”
You think about it. “Mm, something like that, sure. But I don’t know what to wear. I have nothing to wear!”
She goes silent for a second and you can hear her gears getting into motion. Finally she says,
“You do. But you’re not gonna like it. But you’re gonna have to hear me out.”
“Okay…”
“Do you remember that Halloween, well into your hoe era, that you wore that skimpy black dress and painted whiskers on your face and said you were a rat?”
You gasp. “I was a mouse.”
“Potatoe, potato.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No. I’m pretty sure I flashed like, three people that night. Involuntarily. Like, I actually had to apologize for it.”
“That’s to blame on tequila, not on the dress! It was a good dress. And I’m afraid it’s your only option so you better buddy up with it!”
“Great. I guess I’ll be the slutty nanny tonight.”
“That’s a great porn title, make good use of it!”
“Lucy. Soori will be joining us.”
“Why is the baby joining you? No offense to the baby. But why?”
“Long story. I’ll catch you up later. I love you. Thank you.”
She sends flying kisses to you before hanging up. It takes you a minute to commit to it, but you get the dress out, examining it top to bottom. Yep, still skimpy. But it’ll have to do. You throw it over your body and walk towards your mirror. The reflection that looks back at you looks nothing like the sad, puffy eyed girl from last night. No, you look hot. Yes, it’s a bit short, but Lucy was right, it’s nowhere near as bad as you remember. It hugs your ass perfectly, drawing over your curves and pushing your tits upwards the right amount. There’s not much to it, just a little black dress, but you certainly do bring it to life. You throw a pair of heels on, cursing them the moment you feel the way it arches your feet in an inhumane way, and brave yourself up for the night. 
When you leave your room, Jungkook’s jaw drops. It drops in such a visible manner that he has to collect himself and close his mouth before he makes a fool out of himself. It’s your face he fixates on first. He tries to wrap his brain around what it is that makes you look so different, yet still beautiful in the way he’s so very used to when it comes to you. It’s your eyes, he thinks. The dark eyeshadow you’ve smudged on them in such a subtle but notable way. It makes your eyes big and bright but they make your gaze fall a little bit, making him feel things in the pit of his stomach. Then his own eyes scan down, taking their time to take in your body. Your dress looks painted on and his breath hitches in his throat, letting him know it was gonna be a long night if this is what one minute of you in this dress was doing to him. But what resounds the loudest in his head is that, simply put, you looked beautiful, taking up the entire meaning of the word. 
“I’m ready,” you say, letting your arms awkwardly fall next to your body, giving him a tight lipped smile. 
Soori’s enthralled by an episode of Bluey that plays on your TV screen, and so Jungkook walks over to you, granting himself the luxury to simply perceive you and enjoy the view. He smiles, and though he doesn’t mean to, it’s seductive. It makes your tummy flutter, the ever so evident butterflies that never seem to leave. 
“Fuck dinner.” He stands in front of you, leaving you wide eyed and your mouth agape at his words.
“Language,” you say, looking over at Soori. 
“She doesn’t care about us right now, trust me,” he says, wrapping his arms around your waist and bringing you closer to him. “You,” his hand travels down your lower back, tempting to go lower but he stops himself, “look so beautiful.” 
“Thanks,” your words are soft as you smile at him, wrapping your hands around his neck, letting his attention warm you all over. 
One of his hands travels up, landing on your cheek, gently cupping the side of your face and you close your eyes, letting the weight of your head fall into it. His thumb brushes your skin and just as you’re about to wish for it, he puts his lips on yours. He hums against them, taking his time, tasting you, letting your smell hit his senses until all he can think about is you. His tongue parts your lips, deepening the kiss as he flushes his chest to yours. You can’t fight it. You can’t deny him, you can’t even remember why it is that you were trying to just a couple of seconds ago. In between kisses and touch, you submit to him. 
He pulls away, looking into your eyes before he says, “see? I don’t need dinner. That was a great entree.”
You laugh, playfully hitting his chest. “You do have a tongue on you, that’s for sure.”
Your words aren’t meant to come off the way they do. Your intentions are a play on words to let him know he was being witty to get his way, but alas, they have him raising his eyebrows at you, a smirk adorning his lips. 
“Oh,” is all he says. 
“No, I mean,” you stall on your words, mind already transfixed on the other truth to your statement. “Because that was clever. What you said,” you stutter, “you get me.”
“Sure,” he says, nodding his head and pouting his lips, making you laugh and roll your eyes. 
“Well, it should be a quick dinner,” he says, letting go of you. “I’m already half full.”
“See? That's what I meant with the- the tongue thing.”
He hums, taking one last look at you before walking over to Soori, her mouth open as she focuses on her show. “Don’t hate me, please,” he says, as he picks her up from the couch and turns the TV off. She cries and you laugh a little at the way he apologizes to her over and over again. 
“Aw, Soo Soo,” you coo at her, and when she sees you, she throws herself into your arms, hiding between your neck as soft whines leave her mouth in expert crocodile tears. 
Jungkook chuckles at the scene before him, but in a matter of seconds the image hits him like a ton of bricks. The way you hold her, beautiful as ever as you fix the skirt of her blue dress, fingers brushing through her hair, careful not to ruin the pigtails and bows you’d carefully perfected as you got her ready. 
It’s picture perfect, he thinks. A sight he could get used to. 
~
“Welcome back to La Mélodie, Mr Jeon,” a sweet voice trapped in a 6 foot, long legged, blonde haired body greets you at the entrance. Her voice is so sweet, in fact, that you see where the soft spot he was talking about comes from. 
“Hi, Lily,” he says. “Thank you for getting us in such short notice.”
Lily.
“It’s my pleasure, Jungkook.”
Jungkook?
She smiles at Soori, who looks at her with a blank stare before she’s nuzzling her face on her dad’s chest. She then smiles at you and it takes everything in you to return the gesture so politely. Inside, you’re rolling your eyes and probably pulling a face as you imitate the way she says Jungkook emphasis on the J. 
“This way,” she says, walking towards the center of the restaurant as she guides you to your table. You don’t miss the way she swings her hips as she walks, turning around ever so swiftly as she lets her long, blonde hair fall over her shoulder. 
You feel insane. No, really. Jealousy is such an odd feeling. A foreign one, too. You’d never been a jealous person before – to be quite honest, it wasn’t because you were overly confident or uninterested. It was simply because you didn’t notice. You didn’t notice if someone was a “threat” or had bad intentions. Or perhaps deep down, you never truly cared. Oftentimes, it was Lucy that had to alert you on these things, pointing out how it was right there, under your nose! But you failed to see it every time. Not anymore, though. It’s clear as day and it stands right in front of you wearing very dark red lipstick. 
You can feel Lily’s eyes on you as Jungkook opens the chair for you, and she disguises her vitriol with a smile as you sit down. He puts Soori in her high chair and finally sits down himself. He smiles at her, thanking her again and she winks at him. Yes, winks. Your mouth drops, quite literally. Her action is so bold it’s almost admirable in your eyes. You wonder if you could ever be such a go-getter, even if it made you vicious. 
He shifts uncomfortably on his seat, looking up at you and not missing the shock that laces your face. He wonders if he should say something, but before he can come up with anything of substance, the waiter is by the table. 
“Mr. Jeon,” he bows his head politely, “and Miss…” 
You stare at him in confusion, opting for giving him your name. 
“___.”
“Miss ___,” he says, and you smile. You don’t see this, but Jungkook smiles in endearment, hand in a fist over his mouth as he covers his chuckle with a cough. 
As the waiter recites the magic behind their seasonal menu, the main ingredients they’re using this month, and today’s specialties, Jungkook looks around him. He recognizes a couple of faces and doesn’t miss the way their eyes take in the scene, dancing from him to you, and then Soori, in confusion. It suddenly dawns on him that you don’t quite look like the nanny tonight. Not that he owes any of these people an explanation, or that he cares about what they think, or what they’ll say. He’s very much past that, and has never lingered too much on it, anyway. But the more their faces turn from shock to plain confusion, the more he realizes that it’s only been a couple of months – three, to be exact – since Ira left. He wishes he didn’t, but he understands the shocked expressions. He understands why they must be thinking what they must be thinking. 
His eyes land on you, fixating on the way you gently nod as you smile to the waiter, listening to him intently. The sight of you alone makes him think, to hell with what they think. The waiter says he’ll give you a minute to look over the menu, and Jungkook orders a bottle of his favorite white wine. He’d go for red on nights like these, but he knows you prefer light, sweet flavors and so he caters to you, without you even knowing. 
“Are you happy,” you ask, a smile on your face as your eyes meet his.
“Very much.”
“You know, I know I said it yesterday, before our little… altercation,” he smiles, remembering the acts that took place in his kitchen. “But it’s all quite unreal to me. And I truly am in awe of… you.”
“I’m in awe of you.” There’s no hesitation in his words.
You shy. “Stop.”
“Why?”
“This night is about you. To celebrate you.”
“Exactly,” he says, “so let me do as I please.”
“Okay,” is all you say, because his soft demeanor and flattery are going straight to your head, looking past your heart that still breaks. 
“On that topic,” he begins, crossing his hands over the table, “I want to head to our beach house this weekend.”
What is it with rich people and beach houses? Do they all have one?
“That sounds nice… you can rest and relax. Recover from the week and all.”
“Yeah. I want everyone to come,” he refers to his friends. “Jin and Seulgi already confirmed.”
 “That sounds wonderful, Kook.” You’re kind of grateful he’s going to be away this weekend, so you don’t have to make up excuses to avoid him and you can bed rot in peace. 
“Yeah. I’m excited. I wanna go sailing and we can grill every night,” he says.
“Hm,” you nod, smiling. You think of all the TV shows you’ve been wanting to start, pondering over the list to pick a winner. 
“We leave Saturday morning.” 
“Great!” You think of pizza and brownie fudge Ben & Jerry's.
“And don’t worry, we’re not taking the plane.”
You laugh. And then you get it. 
“Huh?”
He’s equally as confused. “What?”
“The plane?”
“Yeah. You were kinda scared the last time. Plus, it’s only two hours by car.”
“I’m going?”
“Uh- yeah? I mean- I know book club is on summer break for the next three weeks so I thought- but if you’re busy or something,” he doesn’t know what to say anymore so he just lets his last words linger. 
“Oh,” I mean, you are his nanny. Isn’t it expected for you to go to these things? Just like you did the last time. He’s about to say something else, but you interrupt him, “sure.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah!”
He smiles as he nods at you, but it’s an uncertain smile. Like he doesn’t quite know what just happened. Soori calls you guys’ attention when she slams her plushie against the table, giggling as she plays, letting her imagination take over. Jungkook runs his hand over her head.
“I’m excited to spend time with her. I’ve missed her this week.”
“She missed you, too. It’s gonna be good for the two of you to spend time together.”
“I’m excited to spend time with-”
“Would you like to taste the wine, Mr Jeon?”
With you, is what Jungkook was going to say, before the waiter interrupted. Not that he’s to blame. If anything, Jungkook is. 
“Yes, thank you.”
The wine is good. Excellent, even. Like nothing you’ve tasted before. It’s sweet and fruity, but very light. You’re very much used to cheap liqueur and even cheaper wine, so getting to jump to the other side and try the other extremes is nice for a change. The whole night pans out like that – pleasant and delicious. The food, the wine, the dessert. You talk, swoon over Soori. At one point you ask something that makes Jungkook dive into a more elaborate explanation of what his job consists of. You let him speak, mostly because you’re interested, partly because you’re too exhausted to say anything of substance yourself. 
Lily brings over the bill, and you can hear the clinking of her heels from a mile away. She smiles as she walks over to the table, even before Jungkook acknowledges her. She’s ready to pounce. 
“How was everything?”
“Delicious as always, please do congratulate the chef for me.”
“I’m sure he’d love to hear it from you. Don’t you wanna stop by the kitchen before you head out?”
Gasp. She is so bold. God, does she fear nothing?
Jungkook laughs, awkwardly, as he signs the check. “I’m afraid we have to get going, this little one’s past bedtime.”
“Aw,” she says, and it’s not directed at Soori, no. It’s disappointment that’s so evident in her voice. “But it was so fun the last time.”
Last time, you almost say. Quite frankly, for a second you think the words have left you, because both their eyes are on you. Lily’s are laced with twisted pride, and Jungkook’s are apologetic. 
“Thank you, again, Lily,” is all he says. 
“My pleasure, Jungkook.” She bats her eyelashes at him, a saccharine smile she throws his way before she’s turning around and making her grand exit.
You stare at Jungkook, watching as he reaches for his glass of water, taking a big sip, gulping loudly. 
“What happened the last time that was so fun?”
“Nothing,” he says, bringing the glass back to the table a little sternly. “I know the chef. He’s helped me recruit a couple of chefs for The West End. That’s all.”
“Ah,” is all you say. 
“I don’t know what that was about. She wasn’t even- I mean, she was there, but it was mostly him and I speaking. She’s his niece.”
“I see.”
“Baby,” he says, nearly whines. 
“It’s okay. I’m sorry, I’m just tired. I’m probably just irritable because of that,” you mask your jealousy with a chuckle.
Jungkook reaches across the table, wrapping his hand around yours. You wince a little, looking around you, feeling slightly exposed. 
“Hey,” he says. “Look at me.”
“Yes.”
He laughs at your sudden nervousness. “Stay with me tonight?”
“But Mrs Chae-”
“I gave her the day off. I’m going late into the office tomorrow. We can sleep in a little bit. I want you to stay. Please?”
Your heart begs you to at least think about it for a second. A split second, even! But the efforts are unsuccessful, and you don’t hesitate when you say,
“Okay.”
~
Jungkook’s shower is your favorite place in the world. 
Well, perhaps that’s a bit dramatic. 
Or perhaps it’s completely understandable, all things considered. You remember when there was a time you didn’t believe in shower sex. Not because you didn’t think it was real, but because you couldn’t believe people actually enjoyed it. There was nothing to enjoy about it, in your humble opinion. And humble it was, because these four walls can testify about the way you became a woman of faith the moment you experienced what you liked to call premium shower sex. 
You let the water cascade from your head down your body, relaxing your muscles as the massage jets hit just where you need them the most. Jungkook was putting Soori to bed and he’d suggested you take a shower in the meantime. And so here you were, contemplating. You think of staying here, waiting until he’s back, letting him get in the shower with you. Letting him do whatever he wants to you, really. That’s the truth of it all. 
But you don’t. You don’t because you try to be reasonable. Sex won’t solve this, if last night is to tell. And boy, was it loud and clear. So you get out, enjoying a couple extra minutes running his warm, fluffy towels over your body, brushing your hair, doing your skincare with his fancy products and spending way too much time, yet again, picking a shirt to sleep in. You opt for a simple Calvin Klein tee, pleased at the softness. 
When he makes his way to the room, you’re already in bed, Sense and Sensibility in hand as you read. He stops, taking you in before you can see him. He thanks the universe for making his dreams from last weekend come true. You smile at him, eyes following his steps as he comes to your side of the bed, planting a kiss on your forehead. 
“I’m gonna shower, won’t be too long.”
“Enjoy,” you say. 
He turns around, about to make his way to the bathroom but before he can get far enough he’s turning back, walking towards you again. You look up, stars on your eyes is what Jungkook can swear he sees. 
“Thank you for staying. And for coming to dinner. That,” he pauses and you hear the hint of nervousness that takes on his tone of voice, “was good. I mean, that meant a lot to me, is what I’m trying to say.”
“Of course, Kook.”
He kisses you. It’s short and sweet, leaves you craving more as your lips feel his absence right away. 
The minute he’s out of sight, your heart sends a question shooting straight at your brain. It’s aggressive and angry. 
What are you doing?
Its simplicity holds deception. The simple answer would keep the whole thing contextual: he wants you to be here, he asked you to be here. You celebrated an important night with him and now you’re in his bed because isn’t that what you do? The last words get your heart going, beating faster with complexity. It says, no! It is not what you do. Or perhaps it’s what you do with your boyfriend, which he is not, by the way. Your own cruel words make you wince. Your heart opts for a softer approach, simply reminding you that you’re not doing yourself any favors. That playing house with the person that has made you question pretty much everything about both life and love in the past couple of weeks isn’t the best way to make sound decisions. That with every kiss you’re reminded of why you love him, and with every kiss he reminds you that perhaps to him, it’s just a kiss. A kiss that holds affection, sure. But not a kiss that holds love. Your incessant thinking makes you wonder if what you ask for isn’t too much. You wonder if it makes sense to want him to love you the way you did him. You couldn't ask that of him, at the end of the day. You couldn’t ask that of anyone. 
Sense and Sensibility is long forgotten, your brain too loud to make sense of the words you read. You turn to your side, cozying up against the pillows. You try to close your eyes but every time you do the images that play in your head are somewhat crazier than your thoughts. You toss and turn and simply opt for keeping a soft gaze towards the ceiling, focusing on your breath and trying to remember what Lucy’s meditation tapes you can sometimes hear in the mornings say. 
“You okay,” you hear Jungkook ask before you can see him. He chuckles at the sight of you. 
He walks closer to the bed, one towel wrapped very low around his hips as he runs another through his hair, drying it. Little droplets falling over his body, making it glisten. You let yourself stare at him because the sight alone leaves you slightly speechless. You’re not proud of it, but another part of your body pitches in on your heart’s debate and says, this is why. 
“Yeah,” you finally muster the words, “can’t sleep that’s all.”
”Mm, yeah. That happens to me when I’m really tired sometimes. Bit weird, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, makes no sense.”
“It’s okay, just try to relax, baby.” His knee hits the mattress, hair towel discarded to the side as he makes his way to you. 
“Y-yeah, I’m trying,” your eyes follow his every move as he gets closer. 
His hands rest at your knees before he says, “I like this on you, by the way,” eyes zeroing in on his shirt.
“It’s comfy,” you say, eyes closing at the feel of his fingers gently roaming down your legs. 
“Keep it, baby.”
“No, I like it on you more.”
He laughs. “It’s okay, I have plenty.”
He opens your legs, inching closer before he lets himself gently fall on top of you. Your fingers thread through his wet hair, pushing it back. 
“I’m having the best night ever,” he says, playful eyes on yours as you both laugh. 
“You must be easy to please,” you say.
“Depends on who’s doing the pleasing,” he watches the way your gaze flutters before your eyes close at the anticipation of his lips on yours. And when he finally kisses you, you both sigh, falling into it. It’s slow, just allowing your lips to lazily move against one another’s. You run your fingers through his hair, nails softly running down his scalp and it makes him groan in satisfaction. You push your body further down into the mattress, letting your legs fall open as Jungkook settles better between them. A moan escapes your lips as the motion has him pressing his cock into you. 
“Kook, I’m really tired, I don’t think I’ll handle it.”
He shakes his head, kissing you again. He doesn’t pull away as he says, “no. I want to make you feel good, baby. You don’t have to do anything.” He looks at you, eyes closing in pleasure when he pushes his hips against yours. “Please?”
You nod, a little caught in the feeling. “Okay.”
“You’re so beautiful, you know that?”
“Jungkook,” you say, turning your face away from him in a timidness that he finds so endearing. 
“Don’t ask me to stop saying it because I won’t,” he says, fingers finding your chin and turning your face to him again. He pecks your lips before he says, “fucking gorgeous.” You laugh, and he likes the sound of it and so he feathers kisses all over your face, down your neck where he knows it tickles, rejoicing on the way you giggle as you try to push him away. It’s hard for Jungkook to choose between the sweet sound of your laughter, or the way you moan when the last kiss he places against your neck ends with a tiny suckle. 
“Can I taste you, baby?” His voice is deep, right on your ear, sending goosebumps down your spine.
“Please,” and he loves the airiness the word has on your mouth. 
His kisses on your neck grow deeper, enticed by your moans and the way you pull at his hair, soft and hard. His mouth begins to travel down, letting his hands roam all over your body at a leisurely pace. He loves it when he can go slow, take his time, make pit stops on the parts of your body he loves the most. He loves your lips, and so he kisses them, snaking a hand down your shirt and cupping at your tits, drawing circles on your nipple with his thumb, making you squirm. You feel him smirk against your lips, always getting a little cocky at how well he can pull at your strings until pleasure is the only thing you can think of. 
He pushes the soft material of your shirt away, lips kissing down your chest until they’re closing around your nipple. A throaty moan leaves you and you circle your hips, making Jungkook hiss as his cock jumps from the contact alone. But he doesn’t want to focus on his immediate pleasure, no. He wants tonight to be about you. He wants to take his time with you – make you feel so good your body has no choice but to sleep the overwhelm off. 
His tongue plays with your nipple, in an ever so slow pace that has your eyes rolling to the back of your head. He lets his free hand touch all over your body, down your waist, squeezing your hips, nails scraping slightly at your thigh. He looks up at you, eyes meeting your hazy ones as he sucks on your nipple, biting gently when your fingers get tangled in his dark locks. He moves his hand closer to where you need him the most, tentative little touches that have you clenching in mere anticipation. 
“No teasing,” you warn.
“No fun,” he says, pouting before he’s biting your nipple again. 
But Jungkook just wants to make you feel good. He wants to give you what you want, he wants to hear you and feel you, and the thought of his tongue on your heat has him nearly salivating. And so he complies. You sigh when he presses his middle and ring finger against your clothed clit, tiny little circles that have you leaking in no time. He feels it, fingers dampening against the cotton of your underwear as his mouth kisses down your torso, leaving a wet trail on your tummy that makes you feel electric the moment he pulls away. His fingers hook inside the side of your panties, his touch soft. Too soft. 
“Take them off,” you say, no edge to your voice.
He does just that, pulling away for a second to roll the tiny fabric off your legs before he’s back on his tummy, between your legs, one of his own bent slightly as he gets comfortable. You find it so lewd – the way he enjoys this. The way he enjoys it when his eyes zero in on your cunt, glistening for him. 
“Fuck, you’re so wet,” and his eyes never leave, following his index finger as it parts your slit. A low, controlled moan leaves his lips when he sees how wet you make his finger, how you leak for him. The tip touches at your clit, making you gasp before you’re letting out a moan. “And so sensitive, baby.” 
You’re a bit delirious but you manage to look at him as you nod, your voice so shaky when you say, “I need you- it’s been a while since I’ve had your mouth.”
His thumb circles your clit. “You’ll get my mouth, baby. But I just wanna see you for a little longer, ‘kay?” You nod again. “Prettiest fucking pussy.”
You’re about to shy away from his words but he wastes no time, pushing a finger inside of you, making you groan as your head hits the pillow. He tests the water, feels how tight you get around him, thumb still working your clit as he pushes a second one in. He pays attention to your moans, the jerk of your hips, his eyes never leaving you as you roll your lips between your teeth, arm hovering over your head before you’re hiding underneath it. 
“Look at me, ___.”
You do, eyes threatening to close as he picks up his pace, hitting that spot inside of you continuously, expertly matching your breath with each push and pull. 
“Fuck, I’m so close already,” you whine, closing your eyes for a second.
“Want my tongue, baby?”
“Fuck, Jungkook, please,” you plead, gasping when his index and middle finger press on your g-spot, tiny little movements against it. “Please.”
“I will, baby. God, how can I not?” His lips close around your clit, making you moan in sweet satisfaction. “You ask so nicely- fuck, ___, you taste so good, baby.” 
Jungkook is growing delirious, too, struggling to keep his own pleasure at bay, hips rutting against the mattress as he places little rhythmic suckles against your clit. You look down at him, eyes meeting his and he smiles. It’s dirty, bordering on obscene, but you love it. You love how much he loves making you feel good. 
“Like that, Kook,” you whisper, “shit, don’t stop.”
His tongue parts your folds, teasing your hole before he’s lapping at your pussy, spitting on it before his ministrations are back on your clit, sucking, licking, circling. You’re so wet, and so close, you can’t quite make out his actions. All you know is the white, warm feeling that takes over your body, making you a little lightheaded. His fingers push inside of you once again, making you clench around them, mouth parting in shock and pleasure. 
Jungkook hums against your pussy, eyes closing at the feel of you. “You’re so close, baby. Want me to make you cum?”
And the question alone could do it for you – in fact, you have to take a second to concentrate on not letting go. There’s something so fucking divine about him knowing exactly where he’s got you at. You nod, one airy, “please,” and that’s all he needs to finish you off. His fingers don’t go faster, but they go harder. His tongue focuses on your clit, silky flesh lapping determinedly at your nub, sucking on it when your legs begin to shake. 
“Oh, fuck- Jungkook,” you cum with his name on your tongue, letting out a little cry when you feel him moan against your pussy at the sound of his name. It’s too much, the way your muscles contract and then release, but you can’t get enough of it. “Don’t stop, Kook, please.”
He doesn’t. He milks you with his fingers, feeling the way you leak down his wrists, making a mess out of his mouth as you pull at his hair, nails digging on his scalp. You cum on his tongue, and you come down on it, too, letting yourself fall into him so quickly that the over-sensitivity has you pushing his head away with shaky hands. 
“Oh my fucking God.” You drop your head to the pillow behind you, hands covering your eyes as you try to regain your breath. Jungkook just stares at you, head resting on your inner thigh, smiling and drunk on you. He feathers one single kiss on the soft skin of your leg, and your body jumps a little, making him let out a boyish chuckle that makes your heart beat steadfast. You laugh, too. 
You let a couple of minutes linger on, the two of you sharing the same pillow, just laying in bed. You take a while to come back to your body and when you finally do, the exhaustion takes over. 
“Come here,” you tell him, and he obliges, body flushed on top of yours once again. Your hand travels down, feeling how hard he is. He hisses, his own hand closing around yours before he’s shaking his head. “Why? You’re so hard.”
“You’re tired. I just wanted to make you feel good. I’m okay, baby. More than okay, actually.”
“But,” you say, confusion lacing your words.
“Tomorrow. You need rest. I think I’ve succeeded at making you sleepy,” he laughs.
“Fuck, you really did.”
He lays back next to you, a sigh passing his lips before his head turns, meeting your eyes. 
“You know, you were right,” he says.
“What about?”
His smirk gives him away before his words can.
“I do have quite a tongue on me.”
~
★taglist★
@roro-in-utopia @yiyi4657 @littlrmills14-blog @namjooningelsewhere@drownforryou @iwanttohitmyself @finelinememories @yukiehyukie@shatzkrinslinzki @bts-fic-recs-mess @kokoandkookie @subtlepjiminie@hobipost @kookiesbreaky @di0rgguk @bloopkook @babyrosieareroses@kookiecrumb @casspirit0705 @eclectictacozinewobbler @tickledpink55@rjsmochii @dimcorner @miniiimee @vintageroses10 @amyniu @tessxblxckthorn@emotionaltrashcansblog @fangirl125reader @laurynne5 @thickgrinch@dianaxnyc @ruinsofangels @berryonasummerevening @taeslarityy@hisunshiine @preciouschiminie @ruclements @galaxyflab @jalexad@missseoulite @bangtannoonalvg @kootonins @lustremyg @kissme-ornot@92thk @everythingaboutfangirling @cakecobain @callmejimmeo @simp4tae@landl7xoxo @jungjoonie @sanfransolomitatm @khadeeeeej @mar-lo-pap @nanjeonlangakook
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taffycandyqt · 4 months ago
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Please No
You can't sleep and seek company in your misery through your best friend. However he's not at home.
Masterlist
Request Rules
OH MY GOSH IM NOT DEAD! In all honesty I haven't been super motivated lately but I started this personal project a LOOOOOOONG time ago and felt I couldn't move on to other requests before I finished it. When I started this I felt really inspired to make it solely because I feel there is simply not enough Donatello fluff in this world, especially in 03' and 12' s case. So I hope you like it!
2012 Donnie x reader
Aged up, all characters are college/older adult age, depends on how you want to read it.
Fluff, slightly angst if you really want it to be there
Fem reader
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Sleeping was always a struggle for you. Logically you knew you needed sleep, physically you felt tired, but mentally you just couldn't bring yourself to do it. Your body hated the idea and actually laying down and sleeping, so you went to the only person you KNEW would be up right now.
Casey Jones.
He was annoying when you first met him be he was chill enough that he grew on you pretty quickly. Not to mention that if it weren't for him you wouldn't have met your now boyfriend. You always enjoyed spending time with Donnie but trying to pin him down was hard especially since you didn't know where he lived. He didn't want you to meet his brothers just yet, says he wants time to adjust to your guys relationship before being teased. Which, fair. SO! To Casey's you went. You two usually met up at grueling times of the night so it was customary to clime up each other's fire escapes and practically break into the other person's house. You'd either scare each other awake or find the other sitting in their kitchen shoveling cereal into their mouth watching conspiracies on YouTube.
Tonight though, nothing. Like the dude up and vanished. You checked the kitchen and his room. You even went as far as to check the bathroom. THAT WAS HIS WHOLE APARTMENT! Did he have just as an abhorrent sleep schedule as you? Yes, but he never left the house to make it a strangers problem. So to ease your nerves you decided to call him, if that doesn't work, your gonna pray Donnie is awake enough to answer the phone.
One ring. Two ring. Third ring...
"This is THE Casey Jones." You breathed out a sigh of relief. He isn't kidnapped, dead, or lying in a ditch high of weed somewhere.
"Hey man, just dropped by your place, where you at?"
"Oooooh, one of those nights huh?"
"Isn't it always?"
"heh, I feel ya. Here I'll text you my location so we can chill." after that you heard talking from the other side of the phone. Someone that wasn't Casey. But before you could ask any questions Casey quickly responded to whatever it was that they said.
"SHUT UP! ILL KICK YOUR BUTT INTO NEXT WEEK, BUD!" ending with extra sass on the 'bud'.
That's when you got his text. Perfect!
---
Orrrr not. You swear you followed the directions exactly, so why are you standing in the middle of an alleyway being told to go forward when THERE IS NO FORWARD! Being the reasonable person you are you blamed it all on Casey and let him know of your little predicament.
And, 'wait there, just a sec was his reply.' You didn't think Casey would be the kind of person to plot someone else's demise. Not that he he hasn't caused someone else's demise, he just doesn't have the forethought to think ahead about it. However this whole, standing in an alley in New York at 2 am alone, is really starting to feel like a plot.
Once again, your nerves started rising. You looked around the old bricks, worn with water damage and scraping and covered in graffiti. The dark distorted your surroundings making it unclear if you were really alone in that alley or not. The stench of the trash bags shoved as close to the corners and walls as possible started to get to you. Your breathing got a little heavier. The ominous lighting from the street lamp didn't help either. Then a sound rose above the scampering feet of rats. You turn to see the man hole cover slowly scrap along the concrete as a large gloved hand shoved it away. The darkness of the alley clouded the figure and with the covering gone the hole left seemed like a endless pool of inky nothingness. You were stiff as a board and you could hear your heart thrashing in your ears. This is it. This is where you die and it's all Casey Jones's fault.
"Hey you did make it! Nice!"
Your threw a scrapped can square at his face.
"Ow!"
"CASEY! YOU SCARED ME!"
"Yo chill! I told you I was coming to get you!"
"YOU TOLD ME TO WAIT, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THE FRICK YOU WERE DOING! GOSH CASEY! WHAT WERE YOU EVEN DOING DOWN THERE!?"
"Hehe, come on. I'll show you," he winked at you before gesturing you to enter into the manhole first.
"No."
"Oh come on! Don't you trust me?"
"NO! Also gross. I'm not going down there just for the heck of it Casey. I have never been curious what New Yorks sewer system looks like."
"It's not about the sewers! We just have to walk through the system to get to the place," he told you mildly annoyed.
"And your purposely being suspicious about 'the place', because?"
"Because that's a surprise,"
"Oh joy. I just love surprises at 2 in the freaking morning, in the sewers, wearing my pajamas," you snarked as you lowered yourself down the manhole scowling slightly.
Casey led you through the sewers keeping a brisk pace. You asked him about the voice you hear over the phone earlier and all he told you was that it was part of the surprise. To which you rolled your eyes.
"You seem pretty confident on where your walking," you remarked.
"Well I sure hope so!" he laughed to himself, "I've only been coming here since highschool."
Him saying that struck a possible idea of what his "surprise" could be. But you couldn't be sure.
You initially met Casey in college. Not that he went to collage, he just crashed a class that you shared with his friend. He called her red, talked about her a lot too. You didn't really know her outside of that one class. It felt strange to know so many details about someone you've never talked to. He did mention that she was Donnies first crush but Donnie never talked about her though so you didn't really care much for that detail.
You knew that Casey had known Donnie, his brothers, and "red" since high school. He told you about their adventures all the time. Sometimes it made you feel a little disconnected, especially since the only people you ever knew from the group were Donnie and Casey. But you tried not to let that feeling get to you. It would simply take time. Besides, even if you're newer and don't know the whole group, neither Donnie or Casey ever made you feel like you weren't a part.
The thing is though, is that Casey only mentioned highschool when talking about the turtles. So while it is a loose assumption, you had an idea of what he might be planning. Part of you really hoped it wasn't what you were thinking. The other part really REALLY wanted it to be what you thought. But the majority part was to tired to care and just wanted something to do.
After a short walk you noticed the sewer transition into an abandoned subway station. That's when you heard the sounds of videogames and people. The smell of pizza lingered in the air the closer you walked to the sound. Eventually you got to the part of the station where lights lit up the dark space.
When you got to the entrance, you saw two turtles playing videogames. Pizza boxes littered the floor, some of them containing pizza, some completely empty. You were a little stunned honestly. Donnie had a genuine reason for not introducing you to his family, you didn't want to cross that line. But at the same time, you really needed a brain rotting distraction. You hesitated. But when Casey gestured you to go first through the turnstile first, that hesitation crumbled. You just wanted some pizza, was that so wrong? I mean you were already here, might as well just commit. You and Casey passed through and neither of the brothers tired to look at you. The one in red acknowledge the sound by saying,
"Welcome back Case."
"What didja need to do that you left so fast brah?" Asked the orange one.
"My best bud needed A.M. pizza, so I figured here would be the best place for her to get some," Casey told them patting your back before taking his seat next to the orange brother and picking up an abandoned controller. You followed, feeling out of place, you sat beside him.
This got reds attention.
"I'm sorry, she?" He paused the game to look over at you.
"WHAT?! CASEY WHO THE HECK IS SHE?? YOU CAN'T JUST BRING RANDOM PEOPLE DOWN HERE!"
"Dude chill out! First of all, shes not random, she's y/n," reds eye twitched, "Secondly, it's no biggie, she already knows Donnie, she's no snitch."
You smacked Casey's arm and shook your head.
"Hey! your already here aren't you?" he whined at you.
"Wait, how do you already know Donnie?" orange finally spoke up.
"Yeah, who are you anyways?" red questioned you.
"I-um. Hi, I'm y/n" you stiffly introduced.
You felt very awkward about this whole situation.
"And you know Don, how?" red reiterated impatiently.
You decided to play dumb.
"What do you mean?"
"How do you know Donnie?! Oh my gosh are you dumb?!"
"No, I get what you asked, but in what way?"
"THE FRICK DO YOU MEAN 'IN WHAT WAY?' HOW DO YOU KNOW MY BROTHER?!"
You both went back and forth like that for a while. Little did you know that this was Casey's plan all along. He had talked to Donnie about introducing you the family but he always said it "wasn't the right time". You and Donnie had been dating for almost a year now and had known each other even longer. Yet his brothers had yet to know you even existed! Knowing you, you wouldn't push the issue because you didn't want to pressure your poor boyfriend. You were under the false pretence that he would come around eventually. The truth is, he wouldn't. And it wasn't because of his brothers teasing.
They would still tease him yes, but they've grown, they know the line. The real reason Donnie hadn't introduced you was because one; he wanted you to himself. And two, the biggest reason; he was embarrassed of where he lived. Yes his home was cleanly and all but it was still a sewer. It had taken a long time for him to begin to believe that you actually thought he was attractive and not some kind of monster. Living in the sewer though? What if that breaks your entire image of him? What if you think he really is some slimy gross sewer monster after? He couldn't bear the thought. After being with you for so long, he doesn't think he could live without you.
It took a lot of nagging but when Casey finally broke him and that was the explanation he gave? Casey was so done. So he took matters into his own hands. He waited for the opportunity to present itself and tonight was the night.
"Dudes!" orange interjected, "Chillll. Ever consider that maybe she won't say cuz we haven't introduced ourselves yet?? Hmmmmmmmmm?"
He chewed red out. Red just scoffed and rolled his eyes.
"Hi, I'm Mikey, and that grump is Raph," he told you, "He's been awake too long, he gets fussy without his nap."
You giggled at this, but before you could say anything back Raph had tackled Mikey to the floor. As they rustled you made a small laugh.
"What is going on in here so late?" you heard someone say from behind you. You turned to where it was coming from and saw the third brother you had yet to meet. Blue.
Before he could say anything to Raph or Mikey though, he made eye contact with you.
"Who are you?"
"This is my best bud y/n. Y/n, the fearless leader Leo," Casey introduced.
"Don't call me that Casey," he told him sternly. He walked over to you guys and took a seat in the other side of you.
"You know Case, if I wasn't half asleep I'd be way more upset about you bringing a stranger to the lair."
"She's not a stranger though, she's known Donnie for a while now. Besides we already got yelled at enough by Raph," Casey told him.
He humm and nodded in a 'that makes sense type' of way.
"So you've know Donnie for a while?" he asked.
You felt like could tell Leo just as much as you could tell Raph. Which was nothing. But you felt like Leo would be more receptive to a reasonable answer then Raph was.
"I'd tell you, but I'm not at liberty to say right now," you said.
"That's not suspicious at all," he teased.
"Hey!" you laughed at him and he laughed back.
Casey elbowed you and smiled proudly. He acted like he deserved a thank you for introducing you to your boyfriends family behind his back. All you did was elbow him in the ribs. That was he really deserved. You would be lying though if you said it wasn't an oddly fun situation.
That's when Raph had pinned Mikey and he started screaming.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY? I COULDN'T HEAR YOUR BEFORE?!" Raph yelled at him with this hands pushing Mikey's head to the floor.
"AAAAAAAAA!!" was all Mikey said him response.
Leo sighed next to you, "I guess I'll be taking care of that."
Before he could make a move though, you heard a familiar voice.
"What is going on out here?! I can't work with all this RACKET!" Donnie grumply shouted.
He stopped right in his tracks when he saw you though.
The only time you had seen Donnie that worked up was when an experiment failed or his brothers got on his nerves. Even then though, it was just venting after the fact, so you never witnessed the brunt of his frustrations. Safe to say you were a little startled, not put off or anything, just surprised mostly.
"Y- y- y- y Y/N?! What in Earth are you doing here?? At this hour? Here? I- ??" he was completely flabbergasted and udderly mortified.
He looked a mess, bags under his eyes, mask lazily pushed above his eyes, and not to mention yelling like an angry old man! Oh nononono. It was bad enough you were in his sewer home, there's no way you don't think his a monster now!
"Would you look at that, guess you did know Don after all," Raph said, head in hand while an elbow laid on Mikey's head.
You turned back to Raph, "Why would I lie about that?!"
This boy was unbelievable.
"Raph get off Mikey," Leo told him.
"Not until he says it!"
"Really Raph? I though you stopped doing that when we were teens."
Deciding that you needn't be involved in that conversation, you turned back to Donnie who had a horrified expression on his face.
"H- how long have you been down here?" he asked quietly.
"Not super long, Casey and I only got here like, a few minutes ago," you answered him.
Donnie took a deep breath, he looked like he was about to loose it. You didn't blame him honestly.
"You. Brought. Her. Here?!" he asked Casey. Clearly hanging by the thread of his last nerve.
"Yeah, s'not like you ever would have, so I took matters into my own hands. Besides she's my friend just as much as she's your girlfriend, I have a right to introduce her to my closest buds."
"Wait. Did you just say, girlfriend?" Mikey asked. Leo was helping him off the floor with a displeased Raph standing to the side. They all froze after Casey's statement and started at you and Donnie with wide eyes.
"JONES!" you both yelled at him in unison.
"What? They were gonna haft'a know eventually, I just got the awkward part out of the way for you," he shrugged and winked at you both.
You were gonna kill him. And by the looks of it Donnie and you were on the same page.
You pinched the bridge of your nose and let out a sigh.
"Okay, I think Donnie and I need to have a private conversation. When we're done we'll clear everything up with you all. Okay?"
"That sounds good," Leo nodded while everyone else complained.
You turned to Donnie signaling to lead the way to wherever you two could have some alone time. He seemed nervous and jittery, but led you none the less. He let you in first through a big sliding door that opened up into what seemed to be a garage. It had tables with tools and other electronic equipment strewn around. There were chemistry supplies as well along with some posters in the walls.
"So," Donnie started, fixing his gaze on the floor, "you wanted to talk?" He adjusted his mask to fit back over his eyes.
"Uh, yeah," you answered. Why was the air so thick all of a sudden? Donnie was so closed in on himself it was almost like he was afraid of you. Honestly, you wanted to ask him why Casey said he would never take you down here. But now wasn't the time for that.
"What do you want to do now? I know you wanted to introduce me on your own terms but now that that's not really a possibility. So where do you wanna go from here?" You asked.
You figured it would best to have a game plan before explaining everything to his brothers.
"I understan- Wait what?" He looked at you confused.
"Uuhhh, where do you want to go from here? Ya know, now that your brothers know?" You repeated yourself. Now you were confused.
"I. Wha. That's all you have to say?" Donnie said mouth agape, shocked.
"What? I mean, about this situation yeah? I mean, I am curious why Casey felt the need to do this but that's not really my first priority right now. Am- am I missing something here?" You asked him.
"I- I thought... I live in a sewer," he told you.
"You thought you lived in a sewer?" Your confusion increasing, "Like. You didn't know?"
"No! I know that! I just... you don't care?"
"Why would I care? I'm sorry," you put a hand to your forehead, "did you think I would judge you for your living conditions? Which are honestly pretty cush. Who do you take me fore Don?!"
"I! Well it's not that I thought you would judge me, it's just... I'm a mutant. Living in the sewers just- I don't know. The only things you think of living in the sewers are creepy gross monsters or rodents. On top of that it's the sewers! Most people find that pretty gross."
"Donnie. We've known each other for longer then a year. If I was disgusted by you, you would know by now," you spoke dryly.
"All this time I thought you just needed to get used to things. But you were just assuming the worst about me? What the heck Donnie?" You were hurt. You loved him so much, and he thought you would leave him because of where he lives? He really thought you were that judgemental?
"What?! No! I wasn't assuming the worst about you! I was just afraid you'd realize you deserve better than me!"
"BUT YOU'RE ALL I WANT!"
He stopped and looked at you, eyes wide.
"Really?"
"Yes! And I hate it when you talk like you're not deserving of love just because you're mutant."
"I just... I just don't see what you see in me," he admitted.
"Then stop assuming things and closing yourself off. Talk to your family, talk to your friends, talk to me. I never worry about whether or not you love me, you've seen me at my worst and never left my side. You're so scared of how I'll react to your worst you never even give me a chance to show you," you grabbed his hand and looked him in the eye.
"You don't get to decide how I feel or what I think, only I do."
"You're right, I'm sorry. Sorry for assuming things, things about you, and for taking so long to introduce you."
You kissed him on the cheek.
"Thank you," you smiled at him. Then pinched his neck and pulled him to you.
"Ow ow ow ow!"
"And never do that again," you let him go.
"Yes of course absolutely never again," he nodded and smiled at you. You smiled back and patted his chest.
"Now before we continue the conversation of how to approach your family, I feel like we should address the eavesdroppers in the room," you said pulling back the door all the way. It was already cracked open to allow the peepers better visuals for your conversation.
As it slid open you noticed Casey and the three brothers trying to run away from the door.
"What! Guys! What part of private conversation do you not understand?!" Donnie yelled at them.
"I told you guys you shouldn't have done that," Leo scolded them.
"YOU LITERALLY JOINED RIGHT AFTER SAYING THAT!" Raph pointed an accusatory finger at him, "AND FOR THE RECORD IT WAS MIKEY'S IDEA!" He yelled moving his pointing to the youngest.
"Wow dude, I thought we were in this together," Mikey put a hand on his chest hurt.
"Well in the end it doesn't matter cuz it already happened right?" Casey shrugged and took a seat on the couch again.
Out of everyone here you and Donnie were most ticked at Casey.
Both you and Donnie approached him from behind and grabbed one of his shoulders.
"W-what? Uhhh. You dudes need something? Eh heh..." he stuttered nervous. Only just now did he realize the hole he had dug for himself.
"Why don't we have a chat Casey," you smiled but it was less of a question and more of a statement.
"Privately," Donnie finished, no smile to be found.
You both were gonna have fun with this. Then Donnie could take you home and tuck you in. What a great boyfriend girlfriend bonding activity!
------------------------------------------------------------Listen y'all, I know Google maps don't work like this, but just for the sake of plot pretend like it does.
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oreharuuu · 1 year ago
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A Glimpse of Mercy
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Summary: The boy you once knew from your small town has changed. But has he really change from his past? Or did he hide everything from you since the beginning?
Pairing: yandere!san x reader
Warnings: yandere behaviour obvi, obsessive behavior, graphic description, dark themes, cursing
Word count: 10.8k
A/N: umm hi? pls forgive me for not updating in a WHILE. i didn't forget about this acc i promise, just had a lot of stuff going on and ofc i still love our boys <3 hope y'all like this long ass oneshot, pray for the hongjoong one to finish quickly as well :' thx u for everyone for the support and comments while im away
Tags: @starillusion13 @cqndiedcherries @wooyoungjpg @miriamxsworld (comment below if u want to be in the permanent tags!)
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The cold gush of wind hits you like a ton of bricks as you exited your school, shivering as you tried to keep yourself warm by hugging yourself. You eyed the numerous students chattering away with their friends, making you look around to search for your friend in the midst of the unknown faces.
When you spotted your friend, Iseul, near the entrance gate, you slowly walked towards her before stopping yourself. You smirked when you noticed the tall boy she's been talking for the past few months, quickly snapping a photo before walking away, wanting to not disturb their moment.
You sighed when you walked quietly to where you parked your bike, buying bungeoppang near the market before eating it as you observe the quiet atmosphere. Your small town just outside of the city was nothing special nor exciting, that's why almost everyone moved out when they can. A few stayed as to live with their family, but only a few instances such as yourself, living with your mother and aunt.
Iseul wants to get out of this 'shit hole' as she deems when she graduates high school, already applying for a scholarship. You on the other hand, can't even imagine yourself in the future on what you could possibly do. Your mother never went to the city, only working as a farmer. Your aunt did go, going to university to get a degree yet she can't even get any work after graduating, getting paid as a bartender before she quits to help your mother.
Deep down, you're scared of failure. Your whole life you're only a mediocre student, good yet not astounding grades and not having a big social circle like Iseul. You can't imagine going to the city to actually live there for a few years just to be met with failure when you can't even get a job, thus making you move back to your old town.
That sounds like a nightmare.
Forcing yourself out of the bad thoughts, you jogged to where your bike is, before stopping yourself when you notice the broken chain. You groan loudly, looking around to find the culprit only to find no one standing near you.
You placed the half eaten bungeoppang inside your bag, assessing the broken chain as you tried to think on what to do. This bike was your only transportation. Sure, you could use the bus but you're already so low on money that you'd rather risk walking by foot to school everyday.
You sighed, perking up at the sound of the bus stopping near you, the temptation of going home and leaving the old bike here is already growing. But you squashed that feeling when you remembered that it's your mother's bike.
The sound of quiet footsteps reached your ears, you glancing back before making eye contact with a boy. He seems startled, quickly moving around before walking back the opposite of you. He's around your age, maybe he knows one or two things about how to fix the bike.
"Hey, school boy! Can you help me?"
The boy stopped in his tracks while you wait for him to do anything. Thankfully, he walks back to where you're crouching, eyes downcast as he moved the plastic bag containing...oranges? To his other hand.
The boy seems familiar, his uniform shows that he's another student from a school nearby yours. The red scarf hides almost half of his face, only his sharp cat like eyes showing to you.
"Can you help me?" You asked, noting how the boy's ears turned slightly red before shaking his head. You sighed, standing up as you looked at the bike with frustrated eyes. You glanced at boy once more, finding him staring the broken chain a bit too hard. You look away, hiding the amused smile growing on your face.
"—fix it."
"Eh?" You asked, not hearing what he said clearly. "What did you say?"
"I think I can fix it."
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"Thank you for your help," You say as the both of you walked side by side, your bike now temporarily fixed. "I can't imagine leaving the bike there on its own. I mean, it's my mom's bike after all but still! It's really old and I think we should buy another one...maybe."
You secretly glanced at the boy, not sensing any noise of acknowledgement or any head nod towards what you've just said. You pursed your lips, softly nudging his shoulder with yours. "You don't want to talk to me, huh?"
The boy's eyes only widens slightly, before looking down. You huff playfully before you remembered you haven't even asked his name. "Hey, what's your name? My name is (name)!"
You waited for any response from him, sighing in disappointment when he didn't say anything back. You stopped when you've reached your house, the boy stopping as well as he nervously looks back and forth between you and the house.
You're yelling internally deep down, wanting the awkward moment to end. Maybe the boy's too shy, and you feel bad for forcing him to talk when you just met him a few hours ago.
"Soo, thanks again. I'll just...go home now," You say as you slowly walk with your bike in tow, closing your eyes in embarrassment at the interaction. Hurried footsteps stopped you in your tracks, eyes widening when the boy placed one of the oranges inside your hand.
"San," He utters gently. "My name is San."
You smile softly at him, but before you could say anything, San walks away with hurried steps. "Nice to meet you, San! Thank you for helping me!" You scream loudly, giggling when you see San glancing back and forth at you.
When San disappeared from your sight, you continued your walk towards your house, the slight dirt from the orange makes you question as to why San even had dirty oranges in the first place.
Entering your house, you notice how quiet it is, your mother's slippers nowhere in sight nor your aunt's running shoes. You shrug to yourself before entering the kitchen, placing the singular orange near the fruit basket your mother received from her friend. Noticing the small note on top of an old takeout your aunt probably ordered two days ago, you assume that's going to be your dinner.
A normal occurrence in your household is your mother staying with her friends if she's not working, probably to talk and gossip. Your aunt is a different story though, you never know what exactly she's doing on her free time, and she never really told you either. So you kept quiet and let her be. She's an adult after all.
Heating up the food and eating it alone in the living room whilst watching TV was also a normal occurrence for you. You're used to it because ever since you're young, your mother rarely ate dinner. She doesn't really like eating anyways, especially inside a house that holds a reminder of her past.
Your aunt sometimes joined in, asking you here and there about school or maybe reminiscing about her old life in the city. Either way, it usually ends up with her drinking away her regrets.
You shivered, clicking your tongue when the kitchen window was slightly open. It's already getting dark, the only lights you see are the ones from the nearby house or you could say mansion, by how big it is compared to the other houses in town.
You remembered San walking towards the mansion's direction. Maybe he lives there? You never really see anyone besides two men, but you did overheard your mother one day about a woman supposedly living there.
Placing down your food on the small foldable table, you turned on the prehistoric TV that's probably already there before you're born. You didn't find anything interesting though, so you picked a random news channel before eating your food.
A few hours into eating, a small knock came from your front door, making you pause from peeling the orange San gave. You glanced at the clock, too early for your mother and aunt to come home. Plus they never knock anyway.
"Coming!" You yelled, slowly walking towards the entrance before opening the door slowly. Surprise is probably written all over your face when you see San standing there, his gaze flickers down when he notices you staring at him.
"San?" You questions. "A bit of a surprise visit, don't you think?"
"Sorry, I—Uh, if you don't like me here—"
"Nonsense! What's up?"
His posture became tense, so you glanced down at the plastic bag he's holding tightly. A bit too tight in your opinion.
"I-I need a place to eat, my house..."
"Your house?"
"It's, um, not a good place to eat right now," San finishes, looking up towards where the big mansion is located.
Turns out you're right all along.
"Oh, you live there?"
"Yeah, but I can't stay there right now."
"Can I ask why? You don't have to answer me if you're not comfortable, of course," You gently added, not wanting San to feel pressured. He shrugs, shifting from one foot to another. "Just some stupid argument between my father and...my uncles."
You hum, glancing back at your house before finally deciding. "Yeah, sure, you could eat at my house." You hold back a smile when you notice San's slumped posture turned straight right away, as if he's not expecting you to say that. "R-Really? I can eat here?"
"Sure, but my house is a bit cramped because of junk. If you want, we could eat at the veranda. Not to brag or anything but the view is beautiful."
San lets out a small smile, tilting his head which made your heart squeeze at how cute he is. "Really? I never really notice."
"Meh, it's something," You shrug, opening the door wider, inviting San to follow you inside. "Come on, my food's getting cold."
San nods hesitantly, murmuring a small 'excuse me' before slipping out of his shoes before he just stands there, waiting for you to walk first. You giggle at him, showing him where the veranda is before excusing yourself to grab your food.
"Pretty, right?" You ask as you sat down besides him, looking out towards the view of the city. Your house is located a bit further than the city, your house shows the perfect view of the small number of lights the city shows. It's somewhat calming to you, mix that with the sounds of cicadas and you have the perfect night to just clear your mind.
"Yeah, it's calming."
You hum, glancing as San takes out a small container, pulling out a sandwich before eating it in silence. You followed suit, offering small bites of food to him when you notice he only brought his sandwich. "Did you make it yourself?"
"No, my...eomma made it."
Noticing the tense tone in his voice, you only hum in acknowledgement before continuing to eat. It's nice to have someone eating with you, the silence isn't uncomfortable, both of you appreciating each other's presence in silence. It's kinda funny to you that you're comfortable enough to invite a boy you just met a few hours ago. Then again, it's partially because your mother nor aunt is here to bother you.
"Thank you for letting me eat here," San quietly says, playing with his fingers nervously as he waits for your response.
"It's fine. I quiet like having someone here to eat with," You smile. "Plus, you're a good company. Well, better than my mother and aunt anyway."
"Really?" San sounds excited, before he coughs as he looks away, his cheeks red with embarrassment. "Sorry! That sounds rude of me—"
You laugh, patting his back in a friendly manner. "No, no, it's fine. I'm thinking the same thing as you."
You didn't notice how red his face is after you patted his back, but he did let out a small laugh, joining you before you both fell silent once again.
"Do you, uh, do you mind if I could eat here? Not always! Just when...home gets a bit too tiring," He asks, looking at you with hopeful eyes that it almost made you want to ask what exactly is going on in his house.
"Sure, but it's better if no one's here except me. My mother will deny any visitors this late at night while my aunt will just ask us about anything to annoy us."
San lets out a small laugh, which made you smile as you notice the dimple on his face. He really has a nice smile. "Alright, I'll keep that in mind."
"How 'bout this," You say. "We exchange phone numbers, you'll text me if you have a situation, and we'll agree on where to meet up to eat together. Maybe we could eat somewhere else if my mother and aunt are here."
San nods enthusiastically, shyly grabbing his phone before you enter your phone number. "So, we got a deal?" You offer your hand to shake hands with him.
"Deal," He smiles, grabbing your hand gently before shaking it. Inside your mind, you hope whatever relationship you have with San will last longer than whatever you had in the past. Deep down, you want to have someone else besides Iseul to hangout with. But you've never had the chance, until now.
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Fast forward a few months, you and San are still going with the promise. It's nice to have someone to talk too, even though San usually just sits there and listens to you. You felt bad to be the only one talking, since you mostly tell stories about your family and Iseul. San tells you that it's fine, he didn't mind one bit that you're the only one talking.
You did ask him once about his family. Yet the tense posture and tone made you realize just how uncomfortable San is on about his family. So you never asked about it to him again.
Turns out, you and San are in the same year, but he's in another school that's considered by your school the 'enemy'. Probably because of the football feud both of the school has. But you didn't mind, the feud is mostly contained to the football team.
Iseul asked you about San one day, claiming that there's a boy from another school that's been hanging out around the school recently. And she's shocked to see you know about the boy.
"Choi San? He's in our year? He looks younger though!"
"Yeah, that's what I first thought as well. But he claims he's in our year," You shrugged, playing with one of the dolls Iseul has on her bed.
"Mystery solved! I was wondering why he's wandering around our school anyways."
"What do you mean?" You curiously asked Iseul. So far you've never encountered San around your school, only bumped into him once when you're buying groceries after school.
"Well, Jihwan told me that he's been seeing a boy from the other school a few times. He thought the boy was in the football team but he's never seen him before."
You hum, thinking back from the conversations you had with San. "No, I don't think he plays football. He likes drawing, so I guess it's not his style."
"Ooo, an artist," Iseul cooed.
"Oh, shut up!" You whine, playfully shoving Iseul before each of you grabbed a pillow before proceeding to hit each other with it. It felt nice hanging out with Iseul again. Although you did feel a bit weird after coming here, like there's someone staring at you.
You dodged the pillow Iseul throws when you catch a glimpse of black moving outside of her window. You frown before walking closely to the window, opening it slightly to see nothing outside.
"Why? What's wrong?"
You turned back to her, already sensing her panic rising when her tone wavered from your hard stare. You quickly masked it with a smirk, not wanting Iseul to hyperventilate just from a shadow. "Ha! Did I get you? You're so easy to scare."
"Asshole!" She screeched before pouncing on you, tickling your sides as you tried move away from her grasp. The squealing laughter from Iseul made you not realize the snapping of a branch outside, nor the figure running away into the darkness.
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"San? Is that you, boy?"
San flinched, slowly looking towards the source of the voice, finding a man sitting in the darkness. San noticed the red stains covering his shirt right away, the man slowly wiping a bloody knife clean.
"Yeah. It's me, appa."
"Where were you, huh? You made Seokjin all worried," The man pointed towards a closed room. But from the screams emanating inside the room, it's obvious his other father is inside with his...mother.
"Sorry. I was out helping a friend."
"A friend?" The man, Taecyeon, whistled with a smirk. "Don't tell me you've found a girl to fuck?"
San felt annoyance rising inside his body at how his appa talked about you, but he composed himself as he shakes his head. "No, a friend wanted me to help them with their homework." He lied through his teeth.
Another man, Byungho, typing away in the darkness, chuckles lowly as he blew a puff of his cigarette. "Yeah, whatever you say, kid. Go wash up, you don't have school tomorrow. We need to train for your first mission! How exciting is that?"
San nods as the two men laughs, Taecyeon ushering San away so they could start training. San ignores as the screaming intensifies, throwing his school bag carelessly as he huffs. He glances at the lone picture hanging on his wall.
Five men. One woman. One boy.
His appa is Taecyeon, the so called leader of the assassin group. The others? San only calls them as his uncles, even though he knows they're all not really related. Seems like almost all of them owes something to his appa, but they stick together throughout the years for some reason.
His eomma is a mystery. San notices very early how different they are. He has no similarities to his eomma nor appa. But that really didn't matter, he loves his eomma nonetheless. Yet the abuse she suffers everyday makes him wonder why she hasn't run away when she's usually all alone in the house when they're all busy.
His eomma only smiles tight when he ask her about this, changing the topic swiftly that it made San feel guilty. So he tries to be the good son that his eomma always dreams off.
"Sannie?"
San whips his head towards the now open door, his eomma hiding half of her face with it. But he always notice the blood and bruises anyway.
Always.
"Appa's already waiting for you. Why don't you go wash up so he doesn't get mad at you? Hm?"
"Okay, eomma."
San watches as the door slowly closes, making him sigh as he cracked his neck to ease the tension. He needs to be careful after almost getting caught by you. He's training as an assasin like his appa for God's sake! He can't even walk quietly without you noticing.
What a loser.
Maybe he does need the extra training his appa suggested. Sure, it could be useful for missions in the future. But what's most important is so that he could always be with you without you noticing.
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"Hey, did you hear the news?"
You hum, doodling away on your notebook as your teacher excused himself to the toilet. "What news exactly?"
"You know Mr. Huang? The one who lost his child a few years ago?"
"Yeah, I know him."
"He's dead," Iseul whispers. "Like...murdered. Not because of some natural death, literal murder!"
You frown, looking at Iseul with concerned eyes. "Iseul, how do you even know that?"
She shrugs. "I heard from the lady next door. Said that police from even outside of the city came here because of how gruesome it is."
"Wow, that bad?"
"Real bad," She mumbles. "My dad told me to stay away from the area since apparently the government is handling it."
"Wait, what about his wife? Is she—you know, dead?"
Iseul thinks silently for a few seconds, before shaking her head. "Not that I know of. The lady did told my mom that Mrs. Huang survived the whole ordeal, but she hasn't woken up yet."
"Poor woman. Already losing a son and now her own husband," You grimaced at the thought.
Rumor has it, both Mr. And Mrs. Huang's son was kidnapped in an apparent ransom act. But when they paid the money, their son never came back to them. Some say he's dead, even Mr. Huang. But a few still holds hope that the boy is still alive to this day, and Mrs. Huang apparently still believes that.
People gossip about how her son's room stayed untouched for the past few years. How Mrs. Huang once went mad at her own friend when they entered the room without permission. Soon after, her mental health started declining, making her stay at home most of the time.
"—from your lover boy?"
"Huh?" You snapped out of your head. "What did you say?"
"I said—have you heard from lover boy?"
"Shut up, Iseul. And no, I haven't heard from him for the past few days."
"You really should just visit his house," Iseul remarks softly as Mr. Kim entered the classroom again. "Didn't you say his house's near you?"
You never really say this to Iseul, not even San. But you did once visit his house to ask for his whereabouts. The result? Only a blank stare from the woman who answered the door. Her makeup barely covers the bruises marking her face, making you realize why San didn't want you to find out what's happening inside his house.
"Yeah, maybe I'll go after school," You replied back, knowing deep down you're hesitant to even step onto his family's land ever again.
Biting into the juicy meat, you hum happily as you munch on the braised beef your mother cooked a few hours ago. Your aunt is watching TV, laughing away on some random game show you haven't heard off. Your mother ate silently across you, her eyes empty as usual before she softly coughs to get your attention.
"(Name)? Have you ever stepped foot to the Choi's residence?"
You stopped chewing, looking towards your mother where she holds a grimace. "Um, no. I've never—"
"Answer me truthfully, girl."
Sheesh, she's really mad. Your mother rarely says that to you, only when she meant serious business only.
"I have. But only once! After that, I've never went there again."
Your mother hums, her grimace gone, changed into a more somber expression. "From now on I forbid you to go there, okay?"
"But—"
"No buts," She glares at you. "I don't care what's happening inside of that house, but what I do care is about your well-being."
You huff. "Why are you like this anyway?"
"Something happened. A few police came to the house this afternoon asking about the certain people living there. Turns out it's about the case of Mr. Huang, they suspect the killer—or killers— are living inside of that house right now."
Your eyes turned wide, mouth hanging open as your mother clicked her tongue before closing your mouth with her hand. "Don't do that. It's disgusting."
"Wait, hold on—what do you mean suspects? Are they suspecting everyone there?" You ask. Is this why San hadn't replied back to you?
She only shrugs. "As far as I know, the police are still investigating it. But...they have a strong evidence against the people living there."
"Strong evidence?"
"No clue. They didn't tell me anything again. What they did tell me though," Your mother paused her chewing as she thinks of her next words. "Is that whoever killed Mr. Huang was not only one person."
"A group then?"
Your mother shrugs. "Maybe. They're trying to find some of the stolen goods from his house, like jewelry and expensive items. And police started to search here when they got a tip from someone that one of Mr. Huang's expensive vases were found outside of the house."
God, this only made you more panicked as you tend to overthink about every little thing. San not replying to your texts, him disappearing for a few days. And apparently he's living with murderers? Then again, this should not surprise you ever since your first and last visit to the house.
"Go to sleep," Your mother tells you as she cleans the table. "You still have school tomorrow."
You can't even talk back to your mother, saying that tomorrow's Saturday, but you follow her order nonetheless. Too busy thinking about San in your head.
Entering your room, you softly closed the door only to be surprised by a hand covering your mouth. You scream loudly yet the person behind you shushed you gently. "Please, (name), be quiet."
San?
"San? What the fuck?" You whisper aggressively as he slowly drops the hand from your mouth. You gasp when you're met with the sight of him being bruised and bloody, his eyes tired as his posture turned from tense to weak.
"Oh my—what happened?!"
"Um, can I sit first? I don't think I can't stand much longer."
You quickly usher him to sit on a pillow you throw haphazardly on the floor, pointing at him with hard eyes as you open the door. "Wait here. Don't move. You need to answer questions first before you're off the hook."
He sheepishly smiles, giving you a thumbs up. "Sure, I'll wait here."
You exited your room quietly, walking slowly towards where your mother kept a small first aid kit near the bathroom. Placing it under your arm, you notice your mother and aunt are too busy doing their own thing. You took this advantage to walk quickly to your room, closing the door and locking it before you turn to San.
"First question, how did you get into my room?"
"Um, the window was opened and your mother's here. So I just—" San motions towards the open window, making you huff as you closed the window shut before covering it with the curtains.
"Second question, what the fuck happened to you?"
"It's...a long story."
"We've got time." You glare at him. "Tomorrow's Saturday, so talk."
San lets out a small laugh before he quiets down, nervously playing with his bruised hands as you sat down in front of him. "I'm very private on family matters. I don't want anyone to find out about it, but let's just say I reached a breaking point when I discovered some...new informations."
You pause, before dabbing one of his cuts with curious eyes. "New informations?"
He eyes you silently, the silence didn't really made you uncomfortable, but his gaze did things to you. You've never been this close to him, usually him keeping a distance whilst you respect the boundaries he put.
"I don't want to tell you any of it."
"Can I ask why?"
He hissed when you clean the cut near his eyebrow, apologizing quietly as you continue to work on his wounds. "Do you know what happened to Mr. Huang?"
You frown and eyed San with suspicion, dropping your hand towards your lap as you nodded. "Yeah, I'm sorry what happened to him and his wife. I heard she's still alive."
San sighs, quickly rubbing his eyes as you notice the lone tear escaping. "Yeah, I'm sorry for him too."
"Why are you crying for a man you don't even know?"
He stayed quiet, looking away before he glances at you with hurt in his eyes.
"Why? What's wrong?" You whisper, hesitating to hold his hands.
"(Name), I'm a killer."
Your heart dropped, eyes wide as you tried to comprehend what he just said to you. "W-What? You're joking, right?"
San shakes his head silently, still eyeing you with his hard gaze. You laugh nervously, inching yourself away from him as he stayed in place.
"Choi San, this better be a joke. And if it is, it's not funny!"
He sighs, grabbing something out of his pocket before slowly sliding it towards you. "What do you see?"
It's a ring, and it looks pretty expensive from its appearance. "A ring?"
"Look closer."
You silently move closer towards it, eyeing it suspiciously as San snorts. "Why aren't you touching it?"
"Because I don't want to, San! Ever think of that?"
You huff, eyeing the ring on the floor before you noticed a hint of dark red on the ring. You bit your lip, glancing at him as you pointed towards it. "Is that—is that what I think it is?"
"You mean blood? Yeah, it is. But that's not what I want you to see. Look closer, inside of the ring."
His nonchalant response should've made you bolt the fuck out of your room, but you cast away the fear, moving closer again towards the ring.
And that's when you notice it.
A small carving inside of the ring. Initials.
'H.J'
It quickly clicks to you as to who owned the ring.
Huang Jeongcheol. The man who just got killed.
You stand upright quickly, already moving towards the door when San grabs you by the waist. Holding his hand towards your mouth, he shushed you gently as you scream and bite at his hand.
He placed you on your bed, pinning your hands with only one of his hands. You wonder to yourself, has San ever been this strong? From his appearance, you don't want to sound mean, but he looks like a normal school boy who doesn't like to workout nor doing sports.
"(Name), please listen to me. I know you're scared of me right now, but please listen to me. I'm begging you right now to please believe me because after this...I don't think we'll meet again for a long time."
You stare at San with distrust, but you can't help but feel a tad bit of sadness when he looks so dejected at you.
"The family that I know all my life—lied to me," He started. "They used me, trained me to be their apprentice, to kill people."
San looks away, closing his eyes for a moment before looking back at you. "They're not my real family. They never have. Especially after what they've pushed me through, to kill my own father."
You frantically move your head, allowing his hand to move away. "W-What? What do you mean?"
"I've always wondered why Mr. Huang cried at me when I stepped forwards to kill him. I just...did what the others did—kill them to get rid of the evidence," San whispers.
"But then, I started to get uneasy at seeing the house. How it all felt...familiar. And when I saw myself with them in pictures, when I was young—" San laughs wetly, tears running freely down his face. "—I knew, I instantly knew that I just killed my father. My own biological father! I thought I was hallucinating all of it but then I saw how the little boy is wearing my favorite jacket. The one that I own! I can't, I just—"
"Woah, San, calm down," You whisper as his breath became more erratic. You slowly raised his hand towards his chest, allowing the other one placed against your own. "Follow my breathing, good, that's it. Breathe in and out slowly."
"I can't stay here anymore," He whispers after his breathing became normal again, making you frown in confusion. "I killed one of them," He interrupts you. "I told him to tell me the truth, yet he persist that I'm better living with them. And that my father, my biological one, deserved to die."
You're lost for words, you don't even know what to say to him. You only hold his hand tighter as a sign of comfort. But you don't know if you're actually comforting him or yourself.
"I need to go, (name)," He slowly stands up, moving closer to your window to peek between the curtains. "It's not safe for me to be here after what I did. Especially for you."
"F-For me?"
"Yes," He stares at you with hard eyes, yet you can see how his eyes glisten with tears. "I can't let them hurt you. You—I care for you. I appreciate all of the nights we hung out, talk about stupid things and our dreams away from this small town. I want you to achieve your lifelong dream, but that can't happen when you're always the target of a group of killers."
"Why am I a target?" You ask with a quivering tone, fright creeping up on you as San looks on to you with pity. "Please, San. Tell me. Why am I the target?"
"Because they know I'm always here every night."
You can't stop the whimper coming out of your mouth, yet you remember your mother and aunt are still outside. You cry silently with your hand covering your mouth, kneeling to the ground as your breath became erratic.
"Am I going to die? I don't want to die, I can't die, San. I'm scared," You sob silently, crying even harder when he puts your face to his shoulder, his hands holding you tightly as you weep more and more.
"I know," He whispers, tucking your hair back as he hugs you tighter. "That's why I need to lure them away from this town. I don't need any of them in town."
"What? What about your mother?"
San pursed his lips, looking away as he sighs. "I was too late. I can't...protect her."
"Isn't she in the hospital?"
San shakes his head slowly, grasping your hand in his as he exhales a shaky breath. "I was too late, they reached her first."
You bit your lip as you imagined the only blood related family San has now is already dead. You flinched slightly at his hand brushing the tears away from your face, the hand slowly moving your face towards him as he pecks your mouth. A light one, but you've never kissed a boy—or really anyone—before.
You gasp in surprise, finding San smiling softly at you as he placed his forehead to yours. "I love you, (name). I don't know when or where, but I hope we'll meet again soon. Promise you'll wait for me?"
You closed your eyes, holding his hand tighter as a sign of promise. "I will. I'll wait for you."
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The cold wind hits your body roughly, making you hug your thin coat tighter as you weave your way between people to get to your apartment. Readjusting the mask you open the building door as you nod towards the owner of the building, an old man who likes to smoke at late hours.
He nodded back before you walked slowly towards your designated floor. You avoid making eye contact with your neighbor, ignoring his staring as he waters his plants.
Such a weird habit. Who waters their plants at night?
Closing and locking the door, you sigh loudly as you pulled the mask from your face, brushing your hair away from your face as you lazily throw your shoes near the door.
So much has happened in the past five years.
Well, not that interesting to be honest in your life. Ever since he left.
San quickly left after the promise you've made to him, you staring at his back as he walks towards the darkness. Never to be seen again.
You've held on to the hope of him returning maybe for a year. Going about your day, ignoring the whispers from people around you about the murders and a missing boy. Paranoia started to slowly grow because of what he said to you, about being possibly killed.
Before you realized that it's all an empty promise and lies.
Then again, you were both young so you can't really blame younger you.
As for older you, or yourself currently, you're now living in the big city! Sure, you may be having a bit of a trouble handling money for university, having to work two part time jobs while studying, living in a small shitty apartment; but you're alive at least. And that's what matters.
Kicking what seems to be paper, you picked up two envelopes, one familiar and one you didn't recognize. You decided to shower first, grimacing at your sweaty skin as you quickly entered the bathroom.
Grabbing the convenient store bento on your way home, you smile as you open the first letter from your mother. Your relationship kinda got better when you left, feeling that deep down your mother missed you. She's just awkward on showing it to you.
Now, the other letter.
It's more high quality, more smaller than the one your mother sent. You looked for any names or address, but nothing. You chewed as you opened the letter, finding a small written letter.
Hello. You might not recognize me now, but I'm finally at a place where I feel I've accomplished enough to ensure your safety. I'll see you soon.
You frowned, looking at the back of the letter to see if there's anymore writing. When you see none, you folded the paper back to its envelope before chucking it towards the mess that is your desk.
A lone paper slips past you, probably from the envelope. You grabbed it only to get more confused and creeped out because it's a drawing.
Of you.
Tossing the drawing alongside the rest of the letter, you contemplated on what to do.
You don't know who it is, probably the letter was sent to a wrong address or it's someone messing with you. Then again, you don't really know whoever would waste their precious time on you anyways.
Cracking your neck with a sigh, you continued to eat before deciding to sleep in for the night. You're not that busy tomorrow, only a few classes and one part time schedule at the convenience store. You laid down, charged your phone, and closed your eyes as you waited for sleep to come by, waiting for tomorrow for you to repeat the same cycle.
"Hey, (name)," Your coworker, Chaemin, greeted with a tired smile as you nodded back in greeting. "I'll go change, wait here."
You hum, standing behind the cashier as you waited for him to finish. Nothing much happened today. Classes went by as normal, a few friends invited you to a party but you sadly declined as you're now working, and that's it.
Entering the staff's room as Chaemin exited, he bid you goodbye as you changed into your uniform. Grabbing your phone before exiting, you held back a yawn as you sat down behind the cash register, looking around the dead and empty convenience store. You don't expect much customers this late at night so you proceeded to play a new game on your phone.
Not long after, a ding was heard indicating a new customer, making you glance up, eyebrows raised in confusion as to who just entered.
A man, wearing a dark grey three piece suit, holding a briefcase as he slowly walks towards the drink isle. Who wears black gloves anyways?
Not something you would see this late at night, but it's better than some drunkards yelling profanities all around. You realized you're staring too hard on the man, flicking your gaze towards your phone once more as slow steps rang throughout the store.
"Excuse me?"
"Y-Yes?" You replied back with surprise, not expecting the man to talk. You noticed the man smiling as he holds the drink in his hand, smiling slightly making you notice the small dimple on his cheek.
He's pretty handsome, you'll give him that.
"Is this the 'buy one get one' drink promo?"
"Yes, but you can only buy the same flavour to get the promo, sir."
"Sir? Do I really look that old to you?" He chuckles softly, grabbing the drinks and continue to look around to grab snacks.
You scratched your head in embarrassment. "O-Oh, sorry. Just formalities and all for me, you know?"
The man hums, walking towards the you as he placed the small basket on the counter before smiling at you. "No worries, don't be scared. Just jokin' with you."
You smile politely, scanning the items before stating the price, accepting the cash as you tried to ignore his hard stare at you. Sure, he's handsome and all but he's just a passing customer that you'll soon forget in a few days. Besides, nothing exciting ever happens to you anyway.
You waited for the man to go away, surprise in your eyes as he slides one of the drinks to you. You looked up to him, pointing at the drink. "Um, what's this?"
"A treat."
"For?"
He shrugs with a smile, "Just something to make your day better."
"Alright...thank you?"
"You're welcome," He replies softly, grabbing the plastic bag that seemed so out of place with the rest of his outfit. As he exited the store, you squinted your eyes when you saw a flash of red splatter behind his suit.
You sighed heavily, rubbing your eyes in frustration and tiredness. You really do need to fix up your schedule or you'll pass out anytime soon.
Blood?
You thought that one encounter was going to be the last time you'll ever see the man. That's what you had in mind as you've worked through your other part-time jobs, just going with the flow.
It's a surprise when the man entered once more, greeting you with a smile. His suit is immaculate as ever, black with unopened buttons at the top, sleeves rolled as he walks around the store.
"Rough night?" He asks, sliding the drink to you as he finished paying.
You shrug, thanking him halfheartedly as you open the drink given to you. "Just tired."
"Well," He starts. "I hope tomorrow will be a better day for you. You never know what's going to happen, huh?"
You know those words were supposed to make you feel better, but somehow, it only does the opposite for you. You nod with an awkward smile. "Yeah, sure."
"Goodnight then—" He squints behind his glasses, reading your name tag. "—(name)."
"Goodnight."
You stare at his retreating back, noting no sights of red splatter on his back. That is, until you're eyes reached his shoes that you notice the red small imprint it left behind.
Yeah, you're definitely not going crazy from sleep.
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"What?! You've never dated anyone in that big of a city?" Iseul hissed through the phone, making you scoff at her. "Uh, yeah? Too busy making money so I could live the next day is pretty important to me, you know?"
"Oh, I know. I didn't mean it that way."
"No," You held back a yawn behind your hand. "I kinda agree with you here. I just—I don't know, I don't have time? Sure, dating sounds like a dream for me. But I'm afraid I'm to busy to manage a relationship and I'll get dumped."
"That's why communication is important!" Iseul replied back with vigor. "Look, I'm not going to force you but my boyfriend has a friend there, coincidentally, that's also single."
"Is that why you called me?"
"No! Well...maybe," She laughs nervously. You smirk in amusement but told her to go on.
"Right! His name is Donghyun, goes to the same university if I'm not wrong. He's older around three years than you. Sounds good?"
"Uh, any other information that you know besides that?"
"Sorry, I don't really know the guy. But, my boyfriend says that he's really nice. If you're down, I'm gonna give your number to him."
You sigh, thinking about the dangers of meeting a stranger for a date. Then again, you really need something other than working your ass off in your spare time. You contemplated for a minute, before cutting off Iseul's rambling on the phone. "Hey, I'll go."
Iseul started to scream loudly, making you pull away from the phone in an instant. "My ears!"
"Sorry, sorry! I'm just so happy for you!"
You laugh lightly, "I haven't even met the guy, Iseul."
"Well, I hope he's good to you. If not, then I can go to you and find him to beat his ass up if he ever hurts you."
"Alright, I hope you protect me from whatever danger there is," You hum.
The conversation between you and Iseul goes on until the morning. Thankfully, you only had one class and no work since you covered one of your coworkers shifts and in return, now they're covering yours.
It's a surprise when an unknown phone number texted you, introducing himself as the man himself, Donghyun. He texted cutesy enough, adding cat stickers every now and then that made you laugh. He wanted to meet you today, which made you think about how he's really desperate but deep down you're desperate too.
You agreed to meet up after your class this afternoon, meeting at a cafe nearby so you assumed he also has classes today.
Wanting to make a good impression, you decided to dress up a bit more nicer with a dress. You kept your hairstyle simple yet pretty, using some light makeup before deciding to go to class after a big brunch.
You ignored the curious glances you received at class, quickly leaving when it finished. You texted Donghyun that you're walking to the cafe, surprised that he's already there and asked if you wanted any drinks or food.
When you arrived, you looked around before seeing someone waving their hand at you. You held back a noise of surprise at the sight of a familiar face. You've seen him before a few times at university, what a small world.
"Donghyun?"
"Yeah! You must be (name), it's nice meeting you," He smiles widely as he gestures towards the seat across him. "I already ordered the drinks and food here. So, uh, dig in!"
"Thanks," You smiled at him.
Donghyun really is a nice guy. Very attentive to your needs, a true gentleman. But a few times he sounds a bit...ignorant.
"Oh, wow! You work two part-time jobs and go to university? That's really admirable."
You nod along. "Yeah, it sucks and tiring. But I need the money, ya know?"
"Why can't your parents pay for it? It seems like a parents duty to pay for their child's education."
You held back a grimace, hiding it with a shrug of your shoulders. "Yeah, that's true. But they don't have much money to support me plus themselves. So I had to resort to working."
"No wonder you look tired all the time. No offense, but you look like a zombie every time I see you."
You laugh along with him, noticing how he opens his mouth once more probably to ask you the same questions. But you diverted the topic to him, asking what major he's in.
You learned Donghyun was a business major, following along his mother's footsteps to continue their oil tycoon. Everything suddenly clicks as Donghyun tells you his story.
He's old money and super rich. Whilst you're an ordinary country bumpkin.
Basically two different worlds.
But you really don't care about that now. He seems like a sweetheart, and you're tired of the same cycle you're going through every fucking day.
You need a breath of fresh air.
So you agreed to date him. Scheduling seems a bit hard because of your schedule, but Donghyun seems to be fine with it, asking you to message him if you have any spare time.
One date turns to two. Two turns into three more dates. Until you realized you've been dating Donghyun for the past three months.
He really is a sweet guy. But you know it's never going to last long from the expectations his parents had for him about his life, so you took everything lightly and just enjoyed the flow. Besides, he likes to spoil you with gifts. You're not going to decline that, especially if it's necessary needs like foods and clothes.
One thing that never changed though is the man that routinely visits the convenience store once a week. New suits, same old face, and the always changing positions for the blood. Because of this, you kept your distance from him. Always setting boundaries when he asks you personal questions, but never getting mad since you don't want to make him pissed off.
"New bracelet?"
"Huh?"
"Is that a new bracelet you bought? Looks cute," The man smiled, pointing towards the beaded bracelet you had on.
"Yeah, my boyfriend bought it for me," You replied back nonchalantly, scanning the items in front of you. Not noticing how the man posture snapped in an instant from relaxed to tense.
He hums, tracing letters on the counter. "Boyfriend, huh? Who's the lucky guy?"
"No one you know, of course. But it's someone from my university."
The man nodded once more, scoffing before he quickly replaced the frown with a smile. "How long you've been dating?"
"Not your business."
"Aw, I thought we were friends—"
"Uh, no? I don't even know your name. Why would I be friends with you?" You stared at the man with a confused gaze, quickly averting your eyes when he only blankly stared at you with no expression on his face.
"Of course, my apologies. Here, take the drink. You need it."
You hesitantly grabbed it. "Thanks, I guess."
He nods once, grabs his things, before walking out of the store. You let out a relieved sigh, pushing the drink out of your way. "Fucking creep."
You glanced into the empty streets outside, relieved the man was nowhere to be seen. You grabbed your phone just in case when you saw a text from Donghyun.
You: when?
Dodo: coffee date? <3
You contemplated for a while, knowing you have a shift tomorrow. But one of your coworkers could cover you for one day, it wouldn't hurt.
Dodo: hoping tmrw is ok?
You: sounds good :)
You ignored the sinking feeling growing inside you, wanting to have fun once in a while without overthinking it.
But maybe you should've listened to your gut this time.
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"Wow, this place is really secluded," You commented at the small indie cafe. Donghyun shrugged, pulling out a chair for you. "I know, but the reviews are really good. And my friends told me it's worth it."
"Alright, did they recommend anything?"
"The croissant looks good, but they recommended we buy the red velvet slice."
You nodded, giving out your usual drink order to Donghyun as he walks up to order. You looked around and noticed how empty it is for a supposedly popular cafe. Yeah, two people are outside right now, drinking and smoking. But other than that, the place looks deserted.
"Here you go," Donghyun placed the drinks and food. "Pretty fast but they don't have any customers besides us right now."
"Yeah, doesn't it feel weird to you? A popular cafe this empty on a Friday?"
He shrugs, already drinking away. "Like you said, it's a secluded place. It's popular, yeah, but only a few people know."
"Really?"
"Not a lot things on social media, but maybe this cafe runs from word of mouth? You know, people talk to their friends who in return come here."
"Maybe," You answered, but there's still doubt lingerie in your head. You brushed it off as Donghyun started to talk, asking about you and telling stories about him and his friends.
The cake was honestly really good, you can't get enough of it. But you stopped eating when you notice Donghyun yawning for the fifth time in a row. "You alright?"
"Yeah, just—" He yawns widely before continuing. "I don't know why I feel really sleepy."
"Did you not sleep well last night?"
"I did! I just—I don't know why I'm suddenly so tired."
You opened your mouth to reply back but only met with your own yawn passing through. "Woah, that's a surprise."
Donghyun laughs. "Are you tired too? Damn, we're meant to be." His head slumps towards the table, no sounds from him other than soft breathing.
Your gaze started to get weird, looking around as your head started to get dizzy. Out of the corner of your eyes, you saw the barista talking to someone, someone in a suit. You tried to move away from the approaching figure, but felt your body too weak to even move.
In the next few seconds, your eyes started to get droopy before you succumb to the darkness.
You don't know how long you're out, but one thing for sure is you got a massive headache. And you're tied to a chair in a small room.
You groan at the light hitting your eyes as you open your eyes, grimacing at the painful headache growing rapidly.
"—Thank you again, for the help."
"Well, don't got much choices do I?"
"Yes, that's true. But thank you nonetheless."
"Hey," You spoke out loud. "Hey! Where the fuck am I?!"
"Sounds like your lover's awake," A gruff voice replied.
The door besides you opened slowly, making you glare at the familiar man smiling widely at you. "Hello, headache?"
"No shit!" You hissed at the man who only innocently smiles at you. "What did you do? Where's Donghyun?"
"Now, now, you don't have to worry about some other man," He gently replied, grabbing an extra chair out of nowhere. You glared at the man as he fixed his cuff links, clicking his tongue when he noticed a small patch of red staining his white clean button up.
"Who's blood is that?"
"No one you need to worry about," He laughs, fixing his glasses as he smiles at you. "I'm sorry we need to reunite like this, but you gave me no choice."
"What the—wait, reunite? What do you mean reunite?" You whispered in shock.
He laughs softly at you, brushing a piece of hair away from your face as you flinched away from him. "I don't blame you for not recognizing me. I have to...alter my appearance because of my job."
"Just tell me who you are!"
"I've killed my own biological family members, who's been searching for me every since a group of assassins kidnapped me for ransom," He starts, playing with the ring on his finger. "Huang Jeongcheol, the innocent man that I've killed without knowing. And Huang Hyorin, who I've failed because I was too late to save her."
Your head started to ache painfully, your breathing becomes more ragged as you stared at the man you once knew in your past, suddenly here with you.
Kidnapped you. And could possibly hurt you.
"S-San?"
"Hi, (name)," San smiles as he moves closer to you. He coos as he brushed away the tears that escapes your eyes. You didn't even notice you're crying, you didn't know why. Maybe because all this time you've let go of the past with him, finding it to be near impossible when he didn't even tried to contact you.
"Why are you crying, love?"
"Wha—I thought, I thought you're dead!"
"And why would I be?" He hums, continuing to brush your hair softly, a smile etched on his face as you tried to calm your breathing.
"You said people were after you! Tried to kill you!" You screamed loudly, glaring at him with wild eyes. "And you said they're also after me! How can I not conclude that you're dead when you didn't contacted me whatsoever!"
He sighs, sitting again in front of you whilst he holds your hands to his. "I know. And I've wanted to meet you after I've sent the letter—"
"You've sent that creepy letter?!"
"Yeah, I gotta admit it is creepy," He laughs. "But anyways, back to the story. I didn't contact you because I've been working."
"You got a job? Here?"
"Not necessarily here," He explains. "Let's just say I've become what I've been trained for since my younger years."
Dread grows inside your body, looking at San with weary eyes as you hoped whatever suspicions you had about him was wrong. "You kill people for a living? L-Like them?"
He nods once.
"Oh, San...why? Did anyone force you to work this—"
"No one forced me!" He yells, making you jump as you closed your mouth in an instant. His eyes now wild with fire, glaring incessantly at the wall as his hold on your hands turned tighter. He lets go of your hands as you yelped in pain, mumbling a small 'sorry'.
"No one forced me, (name)," He continues. "Yes, I've been living like hell just so I could live another day! Hiding in slums, stealing, begging to strangers for food, whatever I could do to hide from that bastards!"
"But I've had enough one day, I've just had it with them," He hissed, pacing back and forth in front of you as he crossed his arms. "So I become a hitman, for the people who need it. I need the money and the relations to get back at them, and I've become weak over the years because I didn't train enough. But one job turned into more and more, and suddenly people in the industry know my name. They respected me for my work ethic, cleanliness, and no bullshit attitude."
"A-And did you—"
"Yeah, I did it," He smirks in triumph. "I killed the last one just two years ago. Bastard didn't even put up a fight, fucking beheaded him. It felt so...euphoric to see the light slowly disappearing from his eyes."
You flinched when his gaze turns to you. "And you, (name), I've never forgotten you once in my life. I've prayed to whatever God is there to always be there for you when I'm not there. I've hold on to the promise we've made, and when I first saw you here—" He laughs happily. A lovesick look on his face as he sighs, "I couldn't believe my eyes. You look the same yet you look so angelic and beautiful when I first saw you. I thought about the future we could have together, just us together. Maybe we could get a pet. Besides, I'm respected now! I have money to spoil you and you don't have to even work. But..."
"But?"
"But you broke our promise," San hissed with venom. "You said you'll wait for me! You said you wanted to be with me. And I find you all of a sudden with a boyfriend!"
He looks at you with hurt and betrayal, hands clenched tightly as you tried to look away from his stare. "What was I supposed to do? Wait for you?!"
"Yes! You promised me, (name)!"
"We were young!" You bellowed out to him, chest heaving with anger as he looks at you with hard eyes. "We were young, San. It's stupid for me to just wait in that damn town. I was scared to move away, yes, but I wanted to get out of that small town since forever."
You looked at him desperately, ignoring the warning signs ringing inside your head from the look on San's face. "I have to think for myself and my family. I moved here to get better education, and I worked my ass off to get money so I could buy food and pay for my utilities! I was stressed out thinking people were out to get me, before I realized it's all bullshit!"
"It's not bullshit, (name)!"
"Oh, I know," You mumbled. "But I can't live my life just for some promise I made to them in the past. It's called moving on, San."
He's quiet as you cough lightly, now feeling how dried your throat is as you glanced around the room for any escape. You turned to look at him as he lets out a breathy laugh, hands wiping his face in an obvious attempt to hide his anger.
"So, the promise you made...it doesn't mean anything to you, huh?"
You looked away, closing your eyes before answering. "It used to mean something. But at one point, I just—I just let go of my worries. I got into a good university, I moved away, worked hard for money so I could sustain my life. I've met good friends here—"
"And a boyfriend."
"Yes," You glared at him. "A boyfriend. Whom I've choose to date because I wanted to. I know it's not a serious relationship, but I wanted to get out of the stress for just one moment. And you're mad at me for that?!"
San shakes his head, looking away from your gaze. "I'm not mad, just disappointed. I wanted for us to be together, and now you're protecting this asshole like you love him."
"I do love him," You answered. He scoffs loudly, laughing loudly as he shakes his head. "Like you've said, this relationship wasn't meant to last this long. And I think I should end this now."
You're eyes widen as he stood up, cracking his knuckles as he stretches. "S-San? What—What are you doing?"
He smiles, not in a loving way, but more sinister and mocking. "Don't worry," He pats your head, messing up your hair even more. "I just need to get rid of him. Then, we'll finally be together."
"What?! No, wait!"
You tried to move, tried to get help by screaming, only to stop when you hear a loud scream outside. You whimper when a thud was heard outside, trying to find anything to cut the ropes tying you up as the screams started to get even more desperate.
"No! San, please! Leave him be," You cried out.
Another scream.
"Please, please! Just let him go! He didn't do anything wrong!"
A groan from Donghyun before he pleads for his life.
"San! Please, don't kill him."
A final 'thud' was heard outside.
No sounds.
You cried and cried, tears running down freely from your eyes as you whimper. Donghyun is dead because of you.
You didn't look up when the door opened, too exhausted to even lift up your head as you continued to sob silently.
"Thanks again, Jongin."
You glanced up to see the barista standing near the doorway. "Whatever," He mumbles. "I need to clean up anyways. The usual?"
San hums happily, brushing away the strands of hair that has fallen down his perfectly styled hair. "Yeah. Make sure to cut him up, place him in different areas. I'll tip you even more money."
"You got it."
With one final look from the man, he closed the door.
Leaving you with this psychopath.
"Look at me, (name). I know you're tired, but please look at me," He cooed.
"No," You whispered, not able to see the blood stains on him.
He sighs, walking up to you to grab you by the hair. You yelled in pain, before shutting your mouth as his grip turned tighter.
"Here's a warning for you," He starts. His eyes crazed and face covered in blood. "Do stupid things that'll make me mad, and others will face the consequences."
He points towards the door. "That's warning number one."
"I don't want to hurt you anymore," He whispers, grip turning more loose as he lets go of your hair. He walks around you, eyes cold and emotionless. So different from the one before. "But, if I have to—I will kill others you love."
"No, please."
"And if you do something that steps over the boundaries I'll give you," He stops in front of you, cupping your chin so you'll look at him. "I will kill your mother."
"No!" You scream, desperation in your tone. "Please, not her! Don't kill anyone," You cried out to him.
San smiles, his expression turned more soft in a matter of seconds. He kneels before hugging you, kissing your lips deeply like he's a starved man. He bites your lip enough to make it bleed, making you whimper in pain. He sighs, happily, brushing your tears away with his thumb before smiling.
"Be mine, (name). All of your worries will go away, and no one will ever be hurt because of you."
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From the things you only have, he really needs to spoil you more. He thinks about the new clothes he could buy, some nice accessories for you to wear, maybe even some naughty things for the both of you to enjoy—
San hums a happy tune as he moves the boxes from your small apartment. He can't believe you live in this dump when you could've lived with him in a nice apartment. Then again, you lived according to your budget so he can't really blame you.
Plus he had other things to work on, planning the apartment, making sure you're comfortable there. Maybe killing a few people to make sure nobody gets suspicious as to where you are. Families are usually the most bothersome people to handle with, that's why he needed to make your last remaining family member die. He's skilled enough anyways to make it seem like an accident.
Your mother, a heart attack.
Your aunt, car crash.
Your friend, Iseul, killed by her boyfriend.
You don't know of course. He'll make sure of that.
"Hey, who are you?"
San looks around before seeing an old man standing at the end of the hallway, voice gruff probably because of the cigarette he's smoking. He smiles in ease, knowing it's your landlord after the stalking he's done throughout the years.
"Oh! I'm (name)'s boyfriend, sir."
"And what exactly are you doing?"
"Just moving out some of her stuff," He shrugs. "We decided to live together now."
"And why isn't she here?"
His smile turned more tense, already feeling annoyed from questions. Can't this old fart just go away?
"She's sick, sadly. So I'm tasked with moving the rest of her stuff."
The old man only nods. "Good, take care of her. She's too coped up here, she's still young."
San laughs, "That's what I've said to her too!"
He eyes the old man, cocking his head to the side as he smirks in amusement. "Don't worry, I'll take real good care of her."
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sgnjimmy · 1 year ago
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𝓙𝓸𝓴𝓮𝓻 𝔁 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻
a/n: I got this idea after one chat with the lovely human @tarotsandpotions a while ago. So this been here for months 💀💀💀 but heeeeey. i know im doing the event now but recently i got the inspiration to finish this draft that was actually rotting, so idk. here it is.
warning(s): mentions of violence, bruises, and a bit of angst (it gets better).
Today was fight night.
Joker wasn't a fan of fight night, especially since he started dating you — it was bloody, tiring, and humiliating.
He always felt like a dog in a cage doing some stupid trick for crumbs. It was pathetic, and today was no different.
As soon as it ended, he went to get his pay with Wooin and saw himself making his way through the door to exit the building as fast as he could without dragging attention.
Joker first went on the route for his way home but stopped on a store to grab a bite since you were probably asleep, and he didn't want to make a fuse at home by cooking.
He took his time eating his food there and then continued to make his way home, only to start to drag his feet on every step.
It has not been long ago since you moved in with him, and he thought he was used to you by now, but something always feels off when he's getting home from a fight now.
Joker's usual routine after every fight was to buy a few drinks from a convenience store, then head home to sit on his couch while the news channel was on the TV. He would sit there in silence with all the lights off, drinking the strongest drink he could find waiting for his thoughts to get blurry and his mind to finally get silent.
But now, he has you. And you rocked his world in the most violent yet gentle way. You came into his life and changed him, but also accepted him as he is.
Joker stops his feet when he sees he's almost at his destination.
Why does it feel weird to get home now? He asks.
He moves again after a couple of minutes, each step he takes so heavy he almost wonders if the world's gravity increased.
He highly doubts so.
Joker wouldn't like to admit it, but he was afraid. Afraid that you'd wake up one day and get tired of all his disgusting and sick world.
He wouldn't blame you. From the bottom of his heart, he wouldn't. It's just reasonable that you'll eventually go away and look for something better, someone better.
It wouldn’t be hard for you, he thinks. Anyone would be lucky to fall into the coffins of your heart. Joker knows he is.
But, eventually, when you do go away, he knows he'll be devastated — crushed even. It would hurt more than any punch he ever felt.
Argh, why is he thinking about this now?
He should just enjoy it while it lasts.
Sooner than he'd like, he arrives at his front door. With his bruised hand, he reaches for his keys, and with a bit of trouble he gets the door open letting himself enter the house.
Of course, the lights are off, and Joker doesn't attempt to turn them on. He just moves forward, stopping in front of the couch to lay on it.
He feels like he should turn on the TV given old times sake… but he agrees against it. Not only for your sake, since you have work and all tomorrow but also for his fatigue.
The couch, which can't even fit him whole, suddenly feels so comfortable for him, and he notices how beat he is and how strong the punches that hit him really were.
He is about to drift off and rest when the sound of a door opening startles him. He scrunches his face from the pain when he forces his body to sit up to see what's happening.
"Baby?"
Your figure appears from the hallway. Joker sees you rubbing your eyes.
"Did I wake ya?" He closes his eyes, and his head drops on the arm of the couch. His arms give up soon later, and he's laying on the sofa once again.
"No… Well, maybe." You smile sleepy. "I don't mind."
"Are you okay?" You approach him. "Why didn't you come to bed?"
Given his lack of response, you just sit down on the little table in front of him.
"Baby." You sing in a whisper. "Does it hurt?"
Joker feels your hands tenderly touching his jaw and moving slowly to his chin.
"Nah, don' wo'ry."
"Help me get you up. Can't have you sleeping on the couch."
You try pulling his arm, but he's not bulging.
"Baby, come on."
"M tir'd."
"I know, but you can't sleep here!"
Your boyfriend grunts, and then he slowly moves his body. You help him out how you can, and he's finally on his feet. You both make your way towards the bedroom.
As soon as you show him the bed, Joker falls on it, hitting the mattress with a tumpt. Snoring fills your ears no long after.
He must be really tired. Normally, Joker would take a while to drift off.
It pains you to see him all bruised and hurt, but you know it's not up to you to change his lifestyle. You're not with him to order him around. You're with him because you accept all of him. His messes and flaws.
Picking up a blanket from the closet, you walk towards your boyfriend's sleeping figure and put it over him. You move to the other side of the bed to accommodate yourself and lay beside him underneath the covers.
Joker looks good sleeping, you think. He looks happy... Without a worry in the world, and you wish you could keep him like that all the time.
"I love you so much." You tell him, brushing his hair with your hand. "You wouldn't believe just how much."
Moving forward, you place kisses on his forehead and cheek.
Joker shifts in his sleep and you feel his arms reaching for you. They wrap around your torso and bring your frame closer to him. His breathing hits your chest.
You're not totally sure if this relationship will last if you think it through. Both of your worlds are so different, but… But you'll stand by his side as long as he wants you to. As long as he allows you to.
Because with him you feel safe and sound, because with him you want to cry and laugh.
Because with him you have this need to protect the absolute beast of a man that lays sleeping calmly above you.
Because you love him.
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