#im not even gonna read this for typos i dont care

[tytonnidaie]

people who are starved of stories that make them feel things to the extent they groan and writhe like a worm HATE being told that they might have to read technically poor writing. like grammar is that important

[azulpitlane]

american wedding l ln4

summary: lando dating zak brown's daughter leads to a lot of pr disasters, like getting married in vegas

notes: can be read as a part two to boss' daughter or a stand alone

masterlist

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 38,329 others

yourusername wasnt gonna drink tonight but i miss my bf like a mf.

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user real tbh

user i miss u like a mf. show ur face at a race already queen.

user no cause it's been forever since she went to one and i miss the chaotic content with her and lando

user you know damn well you were gonna drink regardless liked by yourusername

landonorris i miss u more😓 just drop out of uni and come to all my races

zbrownceo excuse me?

landonorris JUST A JOKE! ha ha ha.

user LANDO😭😭

landonorris but i just booked a flight to nyc because of this post btw. see you this weekend😈

yourusername i was about to start crying until i realized what emoji you used😐

oscarpiastri dont we have be at the mtc this weekened??

yourusername SHHHH OSCAH

landonorris yeah oscar shhh

user poor oscar is always getting tag teammed by those two

user lando getting that in-law privilege by skipping important meetings to see his boss' daughter😭

user i love this relationship's dynamic theyre so perfect for each other

f1gossip

23,432 likes

f1gossip Lando and Y/n's Brown's weekend in New York City! It seems Lando skipped his trip to the MTC to be with his girlfriend where they were pictured clubbing and walking around the city multiple times.

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user IN THE CLURB WE ALL FAM

user he finally met his match lol

user lando is a clingy drunk confirmed✅

user i really want to know what their drunk conversations sound like

user hot take but if she wasnt zaks daughter most of you guys would hate her

user shes making him blow off important meetings so he could be with her? she sounds like a distraction from racing

user girl what- her dad is literally the ceo? if there was an issue im sure he wouldve let them know bffr

user zak brown is probably tired of these two😭

user is partying all they do together?

user no cause she lowkey seems like a bad influence

user i agree🫣 shes always posting herself partying and drinking, thats not wag material

user she might be a pr nightmare but i stand with my canceled wife💜

landonorris

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri and 820,429 others

landonorris nyc to vegas🛩 aaaand i brought the bad influence with

tagged yourusername

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user the caption IM-

user nah hes lowkey dissing y/n haters😭

user how did he bag someone 10x cooler than him

user the bottle of alcohol and the vape, she really is ready for vegas

user Y/N'S BACK!!!

yourusername vegas aint ready for us

landonorris no they arent😈

yourusername enough.

user no hate to the other wags but y/n is truly the realest one out of all of them

user fr she truly is just a normal girl in her twenties

oscarpiastri 🙂

yourusername what is that suppose that mean OSCAH!!! my father will hear of this

oscarpiastri ok calm down draco malfoy

user why is there lowkey beef between y/n and oscar LMFAO

yourusername he hates my swag!!!

oscarpiastri she brings a lotttt of energy to the garage when shes here🙂

user im crying at oscars response😭😭😭 hes had enough of yn and lando

user idk if her holding a bottle of alcohol is appropriate to post!

user pls grow up omg

yourusername

liked by carlossainz55, danielricciardo and 59,329 others

yourusername postt race partoes >>>>>> the avtual race

view all comments

user THEE party girl

user i need to party with them so bad

user lando.jpg when???

user the typos😭 shes already drunk

user yup theres already videos of her and lando drunkly dancing together all over twitter

user yeah and oscar was in the background of those videos looking miserable LMFAOO

user oh to be a wag partying in vegas with lando

yourusername posted a story

user i voted fall to my knees and cry btw…if you even care

user um this is a random question to ask at 3am…

user what stores are even open rn😭😭

-

oscarpiastri Y/N??? IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU AND LANDO FOR LIKE A HALF AN HOUR AT THE CLUB AND YOURE NOT EVEN HERE??

oscarpiastri if you guys dont pick up your phones i swear to god…

oscarpiastri of course i get stuck as babysitter to the two most drunk people at the party

yourusername heY oscah😊😊 sendingg u my lpcation now cuz we need a witness so come ASAPPPPPP

oscarpiastri WITNESS FOR WHAT?

-

danielricciardo if this means what i think it means, youre both so dead🤣

user babes didnt u just post at the club like an hour ago

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, landonorris and 1,392,321 others

yourusername do u guys thonk my dad will be mad thaT oscar walked me down the aislee?

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user OH MY GOD??

user mclarens pr team are going to have a rude awakening in the morning😭

user shes never beating the bad influence allegations i fear

user crazy to think that this time last year he was flirting with her through her instagram comments😭

user and now theyre married omg i remember everyone was teasing lando but he truly got the last laugh

carlossainz55 i dont know if i should congralute you guys or be concerned?

user mind you, its almost four in the morning in vegas

danielricciardo getting married is crazy, you should be at the club

yourusername u mak a grrat point! otw now

mclaren we cannot congratulate until the boss says its okay sorry😕

zbrownceo answer your phone.

oscarpiastri sir, i would like it to be known that she blackmailed to be there

yourusername okay snitch!

zbrownceo im not kidding y/n

danielricciardo ouuu youre in trouble

user its so over for them

user zak finally putting his foot down with these two LMFAO

f1gossip

25,532 likes

f1gossip Wedding celebrations at the club! Seems like the newlyweds are back partying after their wedding announcement was made just a few minutes ago. Congrats to them?

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user everyone is freaking out and theyre literally at the club im cryingg

user "congrats to them?" is literally all of us rn😭

user they are not real omg

user zak is probably blowing up their phones and they do not care at all lmfaooo

user truly winning the idgaf war

user real question is are they getting an annulment once they sober up???

user i really wanna know what zak will make them do

f1gossip

20,329 likes

f1gossip Newly weds update! The two were seen this afternoon leaving Las Vegas with Zak Brown himself. Neither were seen wearing wedding rings, possible divorce?

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user well that was fun while it lasted

user damn they beat kim kardashians record of the shortest marriage

user at least theyre still dating😭

user they definitely got yelled at lmfaoo

user cant tell if zak is happy or angry that his daughter married norris considering how much he loves him

user oh hes def happy about it but not happy they posted it LOL

user good for him for getting an annulment. shes a mess

user and hes not? bye theyre both messy

landonorris 📍qatar

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 2,424,232 others

landonorris annulment? we're in our honeymoon

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user oh so theyre fr about this marriage😭

user does bro know theres a race on sunday

user they look so in love im honestly really happy for them

yourusername we beat the fraud marriage allegations💜

mclaren now thats its been approved by the boss, congratulations to the best papaya couple theres ever been🧡

user wow so zak approves! im shocked tbh

user i wish i couldve seen their reactions the morning after the wedding

yourusername ohhh we didnt remember any of it tbh but were happy now!

user LMFAO OMG....

user she finally got her ring!! and here you guys were thinking they got a divorce bc she didnt have one

danielricciardo never thought id see the day

yourusername me neither tbh

landonorris excuse me WHAT

landoupdates

50,242 likes

landoupdates Lando was questioned on his Vegas wedding in new interview.

"We decided not to get any annulment or anything and just keep this Vegas marriage as sort of like a promise for a real one in the future." 🧡

view all comments

user omg😭😭they are too cute

user not to be dramatic but i would honestly cried if they broke up

user no literally they mean everything to me

user "i really do think y/n is the one" DO YOU HEAR ME SOBBING

user he gets so smiley when y/n is brought up ughhh me and WHO

user and to think y/n has haters is crazyyy this man is so in love with her

user if oscar isnt the best man ill riot for him, he was there for the og wedding

user imagining them trying to convince zak to not get a divorce is the cutest but funniest thing ever

-

more notes: has anyone seen anora?? it inspired this haha A FRAUD MARRIAGE!!!

[icarusredwings]

A fic written by @monkepenguin

A review of chapter 1 and 2 by me- Hi. With commentary 👌

It's 23k and still going. There are typos, but this person isn't a native speaker of English (aren't the best fics always like that?)

Spoilers:

Wade - it has been a whole 5 seconds. Shut up. Please. Like what the fuck are you even talking about. Why are you saying these things in public?

If I dont read 200 words in and think "what the actual fuck" Am I even reading deadpool? No.

Imagine your room mate is gone for 3 days, shows up, pronounces himself as "Marvel jesus" what ever that is- and now you have 2 more mouths to feed.

Al is way more chill than we give her credit for. She's a pretty chill for a cokehead. (Dont do drugs kids)

"That's future Logans problem." Ah yes, very Wolverine thing to think.

D'awww. See kids when you take care of your logan properly they are happy and clean. Now he needs fed and some TLC and you will have your very own loyal Logan :)

Instinctively kicking dogs is so on brand.

Careful wolvie, you're gonna get a yeast infection.

"It screams liver cancer" says the one jealous of the fact he has cancer

On yes the truama jokes. Poor guy.

At least he's admitting that he knows joking about it isn't good for him, but he doesn't anyway :D

Snappy logan is the best logan.

Ohh baby boy no- no more bar rotting for you. Banned.

You tell'em al! Loud fucks.

Bruuhhh.

Logan: *starts opening up*

Wade: Excuse me? Im the main charater *SLAPS HIM*

Wade: *opens up*

Al really was like "are you guys gonna fuck or fight?" And instead they sobbed together on the roof 😌

Fred you trooper. You go get that old lady.

Oh god not the "Were literally the same people in different fonts" moment 😩

"Wade was actually a good guy just extremely unhinged and horny" Yeaaahhh it's probably a response from scout master kevin- Or the fact that you get dopamine and oxytocin during sex and a lot of people with adhd can easily be addicted to those things. Im suprised he doesn't have a thing for gambling with something other then his life.

"I mean actual coke" "Ahh-" yeah sums those two up.

Wait until al finds out about slippers LMAO. Chalancla him grannie!

Oh my god hes gonna buy a fucking honda odyssey

"OH NO HES HOT"

"Al, my condolences to you for not being able to see this man." FAAACCTSS, im so glad someone else brought this up. Shed be all over him. You know it.

(Logans the type to walk past a diner and get rawred at and giggled by a bunch of old grandma's so much that it gets to the point that he goes "Evening ma'am" to them so they'd stop cat calling him.

Also, WHO RAISED THIS MAN!? Charles!! Charles, this is a god damn gentleman over here! I know damn well it wasn't your father Logan! Was it Jean? Did Jean slap manners into you?)

Aaahh dont give puppins the sex leash noooo (totally canon)

Bro why is wade actually so domestic? Dude is like "Hi! Your life is ruined? Cool! My life is ruined! Lets go comit insurance fraud and buy the exact same car I fucked you in. Now lets go pumpkin. Onward!! To the dealership!"

[ganeshpnf]

heyyyyy! i see a lot of criticism on wottg lately and i think they are sooo right. what's your opinion on wottg?

Hmm I already shared a bit of my thoughts about it but who am I to hurt you? Im just gonna rant again and more detailed I guess XD

First of all, I was soo confused by how rushed it was. You can even tell it by the title names. The book felt like it was written in one night. The mistakes also proves it. Editor was asleep? I dont know. Rick is just too old? I dont know. The worst of all, Rick doesnt care enough to put efford anymore? I still dont know, but it sure feels like it. Leo is treated like he is fine and daisy, Clovis being Morpheus's son, weird huge typo mistakes...

Not to mention characters were so ooc. And no Im not talking about: Annabeth threw a party, thats so ooc. I think she was so in character for that one. In fact, that part was my favourite in the book. It was good to remember her rebellious side after show messed her up with her goody two shoes personality. The real issue was Annabeth's and Percy's dynamics felt like they had 0 development in pjo. Wdym that girl is suprised when Percy comforts her? I just read SOM and I can pull so many scenes of Percy comforting her. Wdym Annabeth is fucking surprised when Percy acts all smart? How old they are? 12? (I suggest reading @lilislegacy s criticism for this parts, it was more detailed and so right!)

Its so obvious that Rick wrote this book when he was working on the show and wanted to merge them both together, which is soo wrong in my opinion. Look I like show actors, they are fine with the tv show. But they are NOT the book characters, they are actors. Walker is not Percy Jackson, he is the actor of him in the show. Leah is not Annabeth Chase, she is the actor of her in the show. Aryan is not Grover, he is actor of him in the show. I think Rick and some fans tbh, dont understand this fact. I love them and they deserve to be shine in the big screen, but books should stay books. When we open the book, we should see the book characters, not them. Book canon and show canon should never be together. Because no, they are not the same and would never be. Rick spent this whole book on advertasing his tv show and it was too cringe. Olympus+? Really Rick?

One of the weird thing was also adding Chiron's injury. I was confused bcs like I was sure Percy rode on him before and I know he would notice this. Its just makes 0 sense.

Were they good stuff? Yes, trio's scenes in general werr adorable. Seeing old campers again also. But I want to add that Rick lost a big chance to make this book shine. Where is Jason? Even mention of him would be a big hit, imagine him in that party. I know even with these mistakes, this book would be a hit. Also so many fans wanted this Idk why he didn't go for it.

I like Rick, even though he makes me so angry with this kind of stuff. He gave me a perfect childhood with this characters. But that doesnt mean I have to agree with his every decision and support him no matter what. Idk if he is getting old or anything but this book was just a fanfiction. And not a good fanfiction because I know I see so many better written fanfictions. I hope he fixes his mistakes in the next book because I am still hopeful, even though I am a bit scared. I still want the next book soo bad. Wishing it would be more like Chalice you know :)

Oh and before I finish it, I am forever mad for him mixing Annabeth's lemon shampoo!!! I'm sorry but that was special to me. Apple shampoo? Wdym usual apple shampoo? Someone need to fix this typo mistakes!

Thank you for your ask anon :)

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

IM ACTUALLY GONNA JUMP OFF A CLIFF

OKAY SO BASICALLY

ONE OF THEM TEXTED ME AGAIN......... and this time im like so fucking pissed 😭

okay so basically i was reading (ur smau's actually 😝) then i got a message from our old gc from a number (i didnt recognize it cuz i had removed her) so i checked it and IT WAS FRIEND B.....like just spamming brain rot.....

so 😃 uh i basically told her to stop but she didnt and kept fooling around.....then i texted and asked friend A if she had anything to do with this and she was like "no 🤷🏽‍♀️"

and i kinda told her to stfu cuz it was getting annoying.......then i asked friend A to tell her to stop but she said she hasnt responded

then i kinda called friend b out on her "apology" and then a bunch of nothing happened (basically more brainrot from her....) then friend A added friend B to a gc with me to talk

and friend b kept saying she didnt wanna say anything so i could be "safe and sane" but like she's the only reason i would be not sane like tf???

anyway she said EYE was desperate for drama? and thats why i liked to talk to the boy that she made up (basically "he" would randomly text me and spill tea happening in "his" life....) which is actually crazy cuz shes the one who even created him and shes talking abt being desperate for drama like 😭 AND shes the one who texted the gc again like i was totally fine before

when i asked her why she was texting in the gc this bitch quite literally said "i didnt know u could see it cuz i had u blocked and i was sending that to every gc i was in"

😐

and when i asked why she didnt stop when i told her to stop she said "mb i was buggin" AND SHE KEPT SAYING THAT WHENEVER I BROUGHT UP A GOOD POINT

she kept making immature jokes and not being serious OH and she refered to me as "it" then acted as if it was a typo (ive been friends w her for over a year i could clearly that it wasnt infact a "typo"

she also said i was so excited to fight and kept saying i ate and that i was a queen of screenshots 🙂......SIGH she then said is there anything else u wanna say cuz i dont wanna waste my time or smth like that but then i told her "fuck u cuz aint no way u actually cared abt me as a friend when ur acting so careless rn"

like its the way anyone can tell the pattern is then starting the whole problem then being confused on why im mad....like atp theyre just immature and pathetic.....

but its fact that we've been friends for over a year and this is how theyre willing to treat me???

like i wasnt even this pissed after our last convo but this idk rlly pissed me tf off

🐺🥀

P.S YOURE EATING W THE NEW SMAU LIKE ITS PERFECTION 🤌🏽🤌🏽

HELL NOOOO u have to kill them at this point omg what is their problem… sigh kids n their undeveloped frontal lobe 😕😕😕 BUT VERH VALID TO BE AS PISSED AS U R!!!

AND THANK U BAE THAT MEANS A LOT TO ME

[tmwcs]

RAEEEEE GUESS WHOS HERE ABOUT DT SUPER LATE🤩

Me😌

Im sorry BUT NOW IM GONNA START READING IT AND YOULL GET ALL MY LIVE REACTIONS🤭‼️

"Gently rubbing his fingertips along your skin, swaying them back and forth"

RAE😭😭 WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO USSSSS, pls pls take our well being into consideration 😔😔

“Good girl... you even know how to pronouce it correctly"

good girl? GOOD GIRL???? AND HE HAS THE AUDACITY TO WINK AFTERWARDS???? im done I cant with this guy

“Maybe….we’ll see.”

Maybe yes, hopefully not😌

“Night sweet thing.”

Boy im no object 🤨🤨 (but since its you saying it, I dont mind as much😋)

“Let us know if you need anything.”

You sir pls?🤯

Gazing at the message that you had just received, you saw that it was from Kurt, who expressed how good it was to see you again. “…Hmm…I wonder….” You mentally noted as you came up with an idea and messaged back.

No no pls dont "wonder" it usually ends bad😨

OMG IM LOOKING AT THE PICS YOU ADDED RN AND IM- SUISHSEESDDD let me suck your dick pls??? (Both)

“You would look so pretty in a wedding dress.”

THIS AND THE PICTURE UNDERNEATH IT????VBYXDGHHHHH, Heejeong does smh unexplainable to me😣

“Yeah?.....I beg to differ.”

SIR???? STOPPPP

“Hey, y/n. I’m finally here, sorry I missed the ceremony, but I’m glad I could make it in now.”

You missed the ceremony what else you here for boy?💀 also rae pls pls dont do what im think you're going to do pls pls dont

You had invited Kurt, as a manner to introduce him to the family since you had recently decided to give him a chance and accept his offer to begin a relationship

Bye.

WHYYYYY TELL ME WHYTYYY???????? I dont even know what to say🤯🤯

Im kurt number 1 hater #kurtkys #kurtleaveynalone #kurtpullasamuelsoicanhaveareasontohateyou

Im never forgiving you for this rae

"Im good Mrs....um..."

Bro doesn't even know the name of his girlfriends mother 💀💀 this is way worse then what samuel did I think I have reason to hate him now😌

Heejeong merely looked down at Kurt’s hand before glaring back up at him….then over to you.

YES BAE IGNORE HIS DIRTY HANDS WHO KNOWS IF HE EVEN WASHED THEM???😨‼️

"Nice to meet you. I’m Kurt.”

No one cares bro you can stop💀💀

You figured they were disappointed that you hadn’t told them about Kurt sooner

Nah babes they're mad bc they want to fuck you

"We’re dating.”

Im so done with y/n

"They were busy.”

Pls keep em busy🙏🏻🙏🏻

"It’s okay….” You bit your lip as you chuckled once more. Leaning in, you whispered out. “Should we try again?"

NO???? how about y'all DONT try again💀

"So..."

FINALLY OME OF MY BAES🤭🤭

"Come again?....”

Y/n bae in the nicest way possible, stfu🤗

"Nuh-uh. Come here, we need to have a little talk, you and I.”

Okay lets talk😋 OMG THE PICTURE????? IM DYING DJJDUDJEJD

“Shhh….come here…..COME HERE.”

Come here and get some~~

ANOTHER PICTURE???? *this user has died*

Okay ill continue dying after i finish this ask 🔥🔥

“Stop! This is wrong! You’re insane, get off!”

Dont stop! This is feels so right! You're not insane, dont get off**** sorry had to fix your typo😰😰

"Dont be like that…..haven’t I shown you kindness and affection?....Haven’t I shown just how much I ADORE you?”

BAE PLS PLS FORGIVE MY DEAR Y/N, SHES JUST BEING SILLY 🤗🤗

"Those are some pretty strong words princess…..are we fighting? Hmm? Tell me…..” placing a hand on your hip, he starts to motion your body to grind against his crotch as he whispers out the last bit. “Are we fighting?”

I might have to resume being dead soon bc oh my god i cant handle this

"Tell me baby….since we’re fighting…tell me what I gotta do to fix it…tell me.

Nothing babe you're perfect 😌‼️ #loveyourself #changeyourselffornoone #beyourself

"Come on baby…tell me what I gotta do to fix it….so we can get along…”

OH WAITTTT, that shitty gf of yours💀 we can get along then👍🏻

No princess….dont think I will……I don’t think you want me to…..that’s okay because that’s what I’m here for…..”

You're right, pls dont stop😣

"Boyfriend hasn’t touched you yet…has he?”

THANK GOD NO 🙏🏻🙏🏻

"Let me fix it."

Yeah this is my last straw, im dead 👍🏻

Okay kids, lets all thank rae for the amazing chapter 🤭🤭

Bro the way I laughed at this….this is…this is gold. I’m literacy saving this right now so I can refer back to it bc this was just absolutely hands down the best Silky. Omg. Lol! I loved that enjoyed the chapter. Bro..the part where Heeseung was like “let me beat it up and say sorry to it with my tongue later” I died lol. Could you imagine? I should have chapter 6 posted by tomorrow maybe since im working on HHP ch 20 rn ;)

[istherewifiinhell]

I did not sleep. I had thoughts about language apparently

Part of me feels that readablilty is an important. Compotent in my. Not endeavour persay but. Offering of words of which ppl can feel free to read. Well it would serve me and others best if they were. Readily intelligible. If not. A blatent acess issue cause i dont really want to pin. My acess with language against. Others to read it. Just feels like a no win.

But also. Coming down on something like. The things im doing arent. Inherently worth less when. Im worse at them? I mean like okay. Editing. Its a thing. I can do it. And. Half the time im really just not looking at what im typing. Or. Even in the middle of something else. So i might look at it again and. Ouh bouy. Those are not the words i thought they were. But I do also have a bit of a. Image problem with myself specifically with self presentation. And well. Eh. Sometimes im gonna post some shit [ayyyyy] and there will be. Errors in it. But it doesnt mean i dont have an overall meaning. Im conveying.

And. Frankly. If theres anything we all know. There is not a linear relationship to. Time spend and attention received. So. Who even give a fuck. There are things i care to spend the time to best hone my language and organize my sentences. Things that i think are often complex enough to really shine from that added attention. And well. They usually still will have a hand full of missing words or typos. But also.

READ MY WORDS BOY (GN)!!! They are implying many things even if. My god its probably getting muddied or else. Must be muddled through.

[maiaacchiato]

anyways before i pass out have this

i love just. hanging out with you like in general.

we could just be scrolling on our twitter feed and you just laying down on my lap while i occasionally tickle your shoulders for like 30 mins and it would feel like those 30 mins havent passed yet

speaking of tickling your shoulder- i love how you just. scrunch up alot and like its the most adorable thing ever. i'll slightly move my hand and you suddenly jumping without me doing anything yet is the funniest most adorable shit yes i am making fun of you on tumblr dot com deal with it love ya/p<3

i love your little letters. i still read them every now and then and everytime without fail reading it puts a smile on my face

we could hang out at nbs and spending like 90% of the time in the line and id still have fun because hanging out with you is always fun ngl TT

you are literally the most adorable little thing LMAO /pos

im gonna keep making fun of you for those typos forever btw <3

i would literally do anything for you if you just. ask. i would find a way to move actual mountains and yk insert sappy stuff here

youre someone who i dont mind spending the rest of my time with, which says a lot because i dont really like hanging out with anyone??? save for a few people like jack or ced or you, and especially you TT hanging out with you has become a huge part of my life that its become like a habit and now that school's over i kinda just dont know what to do anymore and yeah maybe i miss you everyday so what i dont think i can say that to your face anyways uh ahah

anyways the habit thing even manifests when im absent bc of either physical or mental health (usually tho its mental health like im so mentally exhausted that i dont think i have the energy to talk to people but youre somehow the exception to this and yeah

your hugs are like really nice TT idk how else to describe it but it feels homely and yeah

anyways uh thats it i think love you lots /p take care of yourself please and yeah

[just-some-random-blogger]

[laughs in annoying] IVE BEEN SET OUT OF A CAGE FAMS IVE BEEN SET FREE FROM MY ACADEMIC BURDENS TODAY MARKS DAY 1 OF MY SPAM REBLOG SPREE BWAAHAHAHA not that school has ever stopped me from being annoying or a spam reblogger HAHAHAHAH

Chile anyways

She knows that Aemond always joins her eventually; even in sleep her subconscious mind registers the dip in the mattress as he climbs in beside her at whatever godforsaken hour he has finally finished his crown duties. But then when she wakes in the morning he is gone again, rising before her to get a head start on the day. All that lingers of him is his scent and the subtle warmth of his body on the sheets. Both are long gone by the time night falls again. She misses her husband.

.....,.. I don't remember what my train if thought was when i read this???? Probably that it was well written??? but you already knew that. Uhhhhh maybe it was sad??? HAHAHAHAHAAHHH HELP ME AND MY SHORT TERM MEMORY--- ok to be fair i have way more emotions about the ending than the beninging (beginning but intentional typo)

Deciding that she can take no more of her and Aemond being passing ships in the night, she slips out of bed and pads barefoot to the library, the space she knows he is now spending all of his evenings, evenings he used to spend with her. Her hair is loose and she is dressed only in her nightgown but she doesn't care; the hour is late and there is no one around to see her.

Also i just know that nightgowns gonna be a problem 😗🫤

“Aemond…” she whispers, causing his head to finally rise from his note taking as he looks towards her, his brow furrowing with concern.

OH NO WAIT I REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT AFTER READING THIS OR RATHER HOW I VIVIDLY IMAGINED AEMOND IN THIS MOMENT AND [FERAL SHAKING] HOW I WENT 😫😫😫💢💢💢💢 HOW ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATING IT IS FOR THIS MAN TO LOOK SO FINE IN MY HEAD AND A) NOT BE REAL & B) NOT BE MINE FUCK THAT SHHHHIIIITTT

“I have no taste for your depravity.” His voice is cool, but his tone is spiteful. “If you wish to parade around the Keep like a common whore, and believe yourself more important than the Crown, then I believe you’ve married the wrong brother.”

Men are so predictable. Im not even angry im just disappointed. I see that when i dont get angry i get really sad so i say very calmly fuck you aemond

Aemond’s face immediately softens, rising from his seat to reach for her but she backs away, a soft whimper escaping her with the force of which she is holding back her tears. She runs from him, throwing open the library doors and hurrying down the hallway.

Her not blowing up at him is so much more delicious cause it hurts more. I hope you suffer (((((((:

He looks up as she enters. It looks as though he has been crying. They stare at each other in silence for a few moments, neither one of them knowing quite what to say. Usually he is in council meetings at this hour of the day, she was not expecting to see him.

A minute i-feel-bad-for-you, cause yeah youre valid for being stressed but not valid for calling your wife a whore 😘🫴

Aemond’s face twists in anguish at the last part of her statement. He rises from the bed, taking her hands in his. “Here is where they should stay. I am so very sorry, my love.”

)))))))): ok but this hurts so i want to hurt you back. Is it wrong yeah but idc idc

“Every night. Except last night. When I returned you weren’t here...”

She glances over his shoulder to see that her pillows have been heaped onto Aemond’s side of the bed.

I feel sad but mostly cos youre an idiot )))):

Hello how are you?

you could write Aemond offending Y/n in a moment of rage but he regrets it and asks for forgiveness

HELLO, I AM WELL, THANK YOU FOR ASKING.

YOU GOT IT, DUDE.

Warnings: Angst, eventual fluff. Word count: ~1700

She breathes a withering sigh as her hand strokes the cold, empty space in the bed next to her. It is now the eighth night in a row that Aemond has not come to bed when she has. Sad as it is to admit, she is becoming used to falling asleep alone. 

She knows that Aemond always joins her eventually; even in sleep her subconscious mind registers the dip in the mattress as he climbs in beside her at whatever godforsaken hour he has finally finished his crown duties. But then when she wakes in the morning he is gone again, rising before her to get a head start on the day. All that lingers of him is his scent and the subtle warmth of his body on the sheets. Both are long gone by the time night falls again. She misses her husband.

Deciding that she can take no more of her and Aemond being passing ships in the night, she slips out of bed and pads barefoot to the library, the space she knows he is now spending all of his evenings, evenings he used to spend with her. Her hair is loose and she is dressed only in her nightgown but she doesn't care; the hour is late and there is no one around to see her.

She pushes the heavy wooden doors open - not all the way - just enough for her to slip through the gap without causing too much of a draught or a disturbance. There he sits, her husband Aemond. His eyepatch is discarded on the table next to him, his hair though still in its usual half up, half down style is disheveled - the likely result of how many times he has run his hand over it in exasperation. He is hunched over a table littered with scrolls, furiously scribbling notes as his good eye occasionally flickers towards the papers spread out around him. He does not even register her presence.

“Aemond…” she whispers, causing his head to finally rise from his note taking as he looks towards her, his brow furrowing with concern.

“What is the matter, my love?” He asks. “You ought to be asleep by now.”

“I am missing my husband.” She purrs, stepping behind him to rub his shoulders.

“Mmm. And the realm will miss its Prince Regent and Protector, while Aegon recovers, if I neglect my duties.” He says matter of factly.

“What about your husbandly duties?” She asks, rounding his chair to face him. “I have barely seen you in over a week. You are neglecting me.”

She can sense the irritation in the flare of his nostrils and the furrow of his brow as he looks upon her, but she hopes that she can win him around. She has always managed to in the past.

She moves to sit in Aemond’s lap, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and leaning in to whisper to him. “Can your wife not provide a welcome distraction, even for a moment?”

The force with which Aemond shoves her off of his lap plants her bottom firmly onto the cold flagstone floor. She stares up at him wide-eyed. If she had thought that action cruel then the words that tumble from her husband’s lips next are a death blow.

“I have no taste for your depravity.” His voice is cool, but his tone is spiteful. “If you wish to parade around the Keep like a common whore, and believe yourself more important than the Crown, then I believe you’ve married the wrong brother.”

She flinches, her heart constricting painfully as she scrambles to her feet.

Aemond’s face immediately softens, rising from his seat to reach for her but she backs away, a soft whimper escaping her with the force of which she is holding back her tears. She runs from him, throwing open the library doors and hurrying down the hallway.

She does not return to their shared marital bedchamber, choosing instead to retreat to her own. It is a room she has not entered since her and Aemond were wed. Neither of them ever felt the need to make use of their separate rooms following their wedding night, preferring to sleep together.

There is a coldness and an overbearing sense of emptiness in the air that serves only to deepen the ache in her chest. As she lays upon the now unfamiliar feeling bed the tears finally come; hot, salty and relentless.

There is a rational part of her that knows that Aemond does not mean what he said. He is under immense pressure at the moment and is struggling to juggle the responsibilities of being both a husband and a Prince Regent. His reaction was one of frustration at feeling backed into a corner. Duty has always weighed heavily upon his shoulders.

However, knowing all of this does little to remove the sting from his words or the pain in her heart. Perhaps she should have gotten dressed before seeking him out. Maybe he really doesn’t think they are suited for each other.

The thoughts swirl continuously around in her mind as her cries turn to sniffles, before she falls into a fitful, dreamless sleep.

For a few brief moments upon awakening the next day, she forgets, and all feels right in the world. Then the room swims into focus as she drifts fully into consciousness and she takes in her foreign surroundings. It is as though a large weight has suddenly been placed upon her chest and she groans, pulling the blankets up over her head as she curls in on herself. She cannot face the day today.

When her handmaidens enter her bedchamber, offering to help ready her for the day, she dismisses them. She claims she is not hungry when she is told that breakfast is being served. She remains curled in a ball, miserable thoughts consuming her mind and breaking her own heart. She wonders if Aemond feels as broken as she does. Somehow she doubts it.

As morning bleeds into afternoon, she finally rouses herself from her bed. The ceaseless rumbles of hunger in her stomach making it impossible for her to wallow any longer.

Taking in the lack of possessions in the room - she has moved almost everything to her marital chambers - she silently curses herself and wishes she hadn’t spent all morning sending away the various servants that had attempted to tend to her.

In only her nightgown, she makes the inelegant, but thankfully short, walk from her own rooms back to the ones she shares with Aemond, seeking clothing and perhaps a bath.

She freezes at the sight that meets her as she opens the door, her heart feels as though it has leapt into her throat. Aemond sits on the bed in a sorry state. His hair is untied and he is wearing only his undershirt and breeches. 

He looks up as she enters. It looks as though he has been crying. They stare at each other in silence for a few moments, neither one of them knowing quite what to say. Usually he is in council meetings at this hour of the day, she was not expecting to see him.

“I- I didn’t think you’d be here…” She finally confesses.

Aemond gives a small nod. “I have asked Grandsire to lead in my stead today. I said I was unwell.”

She has never felt so awkward or uncomfortable in her own husband’s presence before. She shifts from one foot to the other, keeping her hands clasped in front of her. “I…um…just came back to get something to wear. All of my clothes are here…at the moment.”

Aemond’s face twists in anguish at the last part of her statement. He rises from the bed, taking her hands in his. “Here is where they should stay. I am so very sorry, my love.”

Considering the heartache she has felt since leaving the library the previous night, she surprises herself when she doesn’t melt at Aemond’s words, instead she bristles with anger, yanking her hands away. “What you said, what you did to me, was terrible.”

Aemond bows his head slightly. “I know…I should never have said it. I did not mean it.”

“Then why did you say it?” She folds her arms across her chest, looking at him defiantly.

He sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face. “It has not been easy for me these past few weeks. There is so much pressure on me, acting as Protector of the Realm. My duties pull me away from you. I am only able to hold you when you are sleeping. I feel like I am failing as a husband and when you confirmed that I am…I lost my temper. I am sorry, my love.”

“You aren’t failing as a husband, Aemond, you are just busy. All I wanted was a little of your attention.”

“I am trying. Everything I do is to make you proud. The thought of holding you when I return each night is what gets me through every tedious Council meeting.”

“You hold me?” She asks, a ghost of a smile tugging at her lips.

“Every night. Except last night. When I returned you weren’t here...” She glances over his shoulder to see that her pillows have been heaped onto Aemond’s side of the bed.

He follows her line of sight before turning back to her sheepishly. “They smelled like you…”

She huffs a small laugh and he looks at her hopefully.

“Do you forgive me?”

“I will work on it.” She says honestly. “You really hurt me, Aemond. I need you to remember I am your wife. Don’t treat me like an enemy. I am on your side.”

“I know. I never meant to make you feel like I thought otherwise. And I will spend every day proving to you that I am worthy of having you on my side.”

He steps forward cupping her cheeks and gently pressing his forehead to hers.

“We should get dressed, people will be wondering where we are.” she whispers. 

“No”, Aemond murmurs, “The realm has all of me every day, but today they will not have us.”

[sneezydarliing]

HI. hypmic anon im back hello. Sorry in advance for the long ass scroll of text DHDHSB. I dont think you can even begin to understand how RABID your reply made me im giggling kicking my feet rn. Its canon TO ME!!!!! ALL OF IT!!! (well almost all of it bc i dont think ramuda would keep the gifts especially if they would get in his way bc hes a dick. And i love him for it. Fake ass bastard <3) no fr he "has to be in control" are you trying to kill me genuinely. Genuine question

scenarios are. Oh gosh okay i love. Control. I want to crush him like a bug i NEED to see him crack so i dont really care too much about the cause but GOSH having to power through a shitty (emotionally and physically) day WITH the added pressure of a whole ass fake persona on top of everything else. Soooo delicious to me. Anything with him just being surrounded by people especially FANS and having to keep up the /everything/ while just wanting to be anywhere else...... im SO sick of this guy i hate him

Also also okay listen dont judge me TOO much here but i. Am coming. From the anime adaptation i KNOWWW I KNOW thats like a cardinal sin or whatever but listen i dont know enough jp to go beyond like, the first few cd dramas and i DEFINITELY dont know enough to tackle the drb game (can we have a localization im actually on my knees begging) and i did catch up on a few of the cd dramas but i never got to dh and bat.... But the anime did just get to them. Dh seem very. They seem very. (<- a person who got into hypmic bc they saw art of sasara and thought they would like him)

ANYWAYS. That is to say i might not know them too well YET but I WILL STILL!! CONSUME ANY AND ALL HYPMIC CONTENT!!! So rest assured there is an audience (albeit small) and also im gonna shout out the anime adaptation omw out bc listen that shit is so fucking bad its so funny. Who greenlit them for a second season im crying

To finish this word dump off, i will offer up another little scenario for matenro which im gonna assume are the mtr in your tags (and sorry in advance if its a typo and you meant mtc and im just being dumb) specifically some domestic hifudo bc i still CANNOT believe they canonically live together like are you kidding me. Anyways im putting peak himbo hifumi out of commission bc of some virus that has been going around in his workplace. And doppo is fucking fighting for his life bc hifumi always does all the housework and cooking (CANONICALLY. im never getting over these two) and 'oh my god what does a sick person even need like are you joking ive never taken a sick day in my life and you expect me to take care of another person????' Ft jakurai on doppos speed dial trying to calm him down bc its really not that bad

HELLO AGAIN!!!!!!!! holding this so dear omg...

You are so right in all of it !!!! Admitidly I like DH bc they're very silly. Thr anime id so bad but i hold it so dear bc so is the game. Hypmic at its essence is just. Lovably terrible.I was lucky enough to be able to read a lot of the manga when slug still had it up so I do know a lot more more than the anime puts out !!! The anime is silly though love it

I really wish they'd come out with an arb eng but bcuz there's not many western fans my hopes aren't high 😔

ALSO I love that scenario so much... domestic hifudo is so dear to me I love them so much. Hifu being taken care of for once instead of bring the one that always takes care of others they make me emotional

[manifesting-mari]

Morning Pages 1/21/2023

I wonder if there’s something about me posting my morning pages on tumblr that makes me think that i need to kind of edit myself or like “perform”. I like performing. Not all the time. Btu i do enjoy it because i’m good at it. I was always good at performing and doing what i was told. I’m very good at taking direction and my intuition and my empathy make me a great actor, i think. But i kind of never really stopped performing even when i wasnt in front of people. Or i tried to find people to perform in front of. I still do that today. Thats why i’m a fucking comic lol. I want to perform. I want to be laughed at and laughed with. I want ot make people laugh and i want to laugh at myself and laugh at life. Laughter is so healing. I laughed os much last night it was so much fun. I can’t believe jordan pointed out my typing lol. Im typing now and hes next to me and im so insecure about it lmfao. Well, i feel the insecurity but i;m not gonna let that stop me from doing what i want to do. Jaust cause i’m not mavis fucking beacon. 

It did make me think though. In middle school and high school when we took computer class i didn’t care about the home row keys or i didnt care to practice proper technique. Its definitely not too late to learn. But now i’m getting this feeling like just because i dont type well or fast that means that i shouldnt be a writer or i shouldnt write out what i want to say. Ugh. i feel so insecure. Ok. let me see if i can use EK as a practice on this. I enjoy the sensation of “insecure” in my body. When i am outside of my body i can laugh. When i am outside of myself i can laugh. Inside i feel self conscious and insecure. I wonder if i can be inside my body, feel insecure, and still laugh with adoration and love, the way a parent would chuckle at their toddler. I would say “aw honey, you are a writer. Being a good story teller and being a good typer are two different things. You dont need to be a good story teller to be a good typo and vice versa. But if you want you can be both.” 14 year old me doesnt care if i’m a good typer. I dont think any part of me cares that i’m a good typer. 

I see the ways where i still make fun of the younger versions of myself. Where i am annoyed. I want to transmute that annoyance to love. I wonder where the annoyance comes from. I think it comes from this part of me that wants control. That thinks i need to conform for safety or to be liked. Yeah. its the part of me that wants to be liked and validated by others. It doesnt want me to have feelings because feeling are annoying. Feelings made my parents feel uncomfortable. Im still attracting that because i am still annoyed by other peoples reactions. I’m so fixated on peoples reactions. I wonder what that is. Its definitely a learned thing form my parents. Gauging their reactions in order to make them happy. Learning how to act based on how they were acting. Then doing that with my friends in high school. And even in college. I’m constantly gauging people’s reactions and body language. They dont even have to give me words of affirmation. Just their reaction is enough for me.

I remember at one retreat i caught myself staring at David’s face. Not before he caught me first though. I felt so flustered and embarrassed and i still wonder why i was starting at him. Ugh. theres something in my heart thats like an electric jolt. I think i try to gauge the reactions of people i like so i can repeat whatever i did to get a good reaction out fo them. Fuck that manipulative. I wanna do that on stage. Thats the kind of vulnerability i need to bring on stage. Open up my power to read and gauge and know what to say and what will work. I write my own jokes now. Usually my jokes i get from other people, but now i can write my own. Set ups and punch lines that get bigger and bigger with waves. Look up the step to an effective sale. The energy moving should be like a chart. With the middle line being stasis an peace. Tension and release. 

What is the line between tension and release. The orgasm? Orgasmic point? Opening point? I’ll figure it out. 

Release

_______critical point__________

Tension

I feel these cramps going from the front of my reproductive system to the anus. This feels like my sacral being activated for some reason. I’m releasing something maybe. I feel something moving. Maybe i need to poop. 

Ugh, even with that fancy diagram i made i still have a page and a half more to write. Blahhh. I dont know what else to type about. What am i feeling? Im feeling excited and i’m feeling maybe a bit gassy and hungry. Im feeling excited about all this stuff. I’m looking forward to work at the dispensary now so i can have some money to fund these projects. I’m excited for this project and i know its gonna be so much fun to build this with my friends. 

Ok. i think i need to rrst and calm down now. There was a whole lot fo good, and we can have more good, i just feel myself getting to that havingness level again and i feel like touching on that feeling will make me spiral to the other side. I’m happy i got to talk about my feelings last night. Wow, what a novel idea. Look what happens when you trust other people with your truth, then they trust you with theirs. Lol. whoda thunk? 

As I’m typing this i’m still feeling self conscious about my typing and now i think its funny. Lol. im happy that it was able to make him laugh at a time when he was going through something sad. Thats like what happened for me. When i was dealing with my dad’s death there were lots of funny and ridiculous things happening. It really was how my dad wanted to go. Im sad hes dead. I miss him. I wish i was equipped with the skills i have now. I wish i still didnt have this anger in my heart. I couldnt empathize with my father. I couldnt meet him where he was at because i wasnt able to hold my own level of depression. I wish i could have sat with my dad and said “i know what its liek to want to die” i think about it everyday. I think about how much easier it might be for others if im goine. But then i know everyone would be sad, and i would be sad, and i’m better off alive and figuring it out and being with the people i love, than for us being sad and apart. I know what its liek to want to put other people first in order to make them happy. But if im putting other people before my happiness whats gonna happen if other people are unable to show up for me? Then who will make me happy if not for myself? Who will tale care of me?

There is this codependency that i learned from my parents and from my culture. You expect your family to do things for you even though you have hurt them. And youre expected to do things for your family even though theyve hurt you. And there was no healthy way of fixing that rupture. I need to heal my own home. I’m used to being in unhealed homes. I’m used to broken home. My house was a broken home. Thats really sad. I was born with a heart too open for this world. I was born in a broken container. I grew up in a broken container. My only reality is broken and it feel safe and normal here. I want to get out of that brokenness. I want to get out and repair what has been damaged. I need to go into that wound where the blade was pulled out and out love in there. See where the cells need to rejoin, where the ligaments need to grow. And i need physical therapy. But i see myself moving, jumping, and loving so much more than i ever could before. I see myself mending the broken parts and truly creating an energetic container that is safe for me to be in. and i want to share it with other not because i feel like i have to, but also because i want to share it. I know what this kind of joy brings and i want others ot feel it. I want others to feel the love that i have felt.

I’m feeling something on my right side, like under neath my side boob. It might just be a cramp.

I have jordan resting next to me now. I really like them. I like being around them and holding them and talking to them about the universe. I like learning new things from them and i like sharing what i know. I like when they listen to what i have to say and give me heartfelt and honest responses. I’m very grateful they exist in my world. I’m grateful for all the event that led me to this present point where after i post this i get to turn to them, kiss then on the cheek and hold them. I’m very lucky.

[leegeumhyuks]

Wanna One Would You Rather - NSFW

I am straight screwed you guys, mind you I made these WYR games myself so I knew exactly how to screw someone over with these 

Would You Rather…

~Give hickeys to Seongwoo or get hickeys from Daniel?

Ummmmmm get hickeys from Daniel. Even tho Ong is higher on my bias list, getting hickeys sounds like more fun (even tho marking up Seongwoo also sounds like so much fun asdfhj I hate this)

~Pull Sungwoon’s hair or have Jaehwan pull your hair?

Pull Sungwoon’s hair I feel like this one wasn’t even hard(even tho getting my hair pulled down sound nice god this sucks)

~Give Jisung a lap dance or have Daniel put on a sexy show?

Daniel put on a sexy show I’d probably suck so bad at a lapdance

~Praise Minhyun or receive body worship from Seongwoo?

Oooohhh body worship from Seongwoo. Tbh Im selfish af so I’d rather receive than give

~Tease Jisung under a table at dinner or get teased by Jaehwan?

Get teased by Jaehwan he such a cheeky little shit it’d probably be funny

~Choke Minhyun or be choked by Daniel?

shit shit shit ummmmm choke Minhyun fuck why cant i have both

~Dirty talk with Sungwoon or Jaehwan?

Sungwoon fo sho

~Call Daniel ‘daddy’ or have Jisung call you ‘mommy’?

Call Daniel daddy, I can’t deal with the mommy kink

~Blindfold Sungwoon or be blindfolded by Seongwoo?

Honestly blindfold Sungwoon(watch me pick cloudy for every option hes in)

~Ride Daniel’s thigh or sit on Jisung’s face?

Sit on Jisung’s face I’m really into the whole thigh riding thing

~Make out with Minhyun or dry hump with Jaehwan?

Make out with Minhyun dry humoing seems awkward to me

~Tie up Sungwoon or get tied up by Seongwoo?

ahhh why did I make these two the options for this?? I guess I’ll go with tying up Sungwoon (i retyped that like 3 times this one sucked)

~Deny Minhyun his orgasm or have Jaehwan deny yours?

Deny Minhyun his orgasm, I wanna see him whine

~Get spanked by Seongwoo or Jisung?

S E O N G W O O

~Beg for Jaehwan or have Daniel beg for you?

Oh man have Daniel beg for me that sounds nice

~Have Seongwoo as a master or have Sungwoon as a pet?

Have Sungwoon as a pet I guess (not really into pet play but if it means making Sungwoon do whatever I want, then I’m in)

~Rough sex with Minhyun or romantic sex with Jaehwan?

Rough sex with Minhyun holy shit could u imagine that boy when he gets goin

~Give oral to Seongwoo or receive oral from Jisung?

Give oral to Seongwoo oh man the faces this kid makes I wanna see em

~Pool sex with Minhyun or shower sex with Daniel?

Show sex with Daniel. Pool sex doesn’t really sound practical but it does sounds quite nice with Minhyun

~Wall sex with Seongwoo or mirror sex with Sungwoon?

Mirror sex with Sungwoon omgomgomg im dying just thinking about it

~Have sex with Minhyun in a library or give Jisung a handjob at the movies?

Hmmmm I don’t really like public sex, like, at all but I’d have less chanses of getting caught in the movies so I’ll go with Jisung

~Receive anal from Daniel or give anal to Sungwoon?

Give anal to Sungwoon (not really into receiving it all that much and sub!Sungwoon is my favorite thing)

~Have Jisung cum inside you or Jaehwan cum on your stomach?

Jaehwan cum on my stomach oh man that would be really hot. It sounds nasty but the idea of cumming on my body really turns me on

~Overstim Minhyun or get overstimmed by Sungwoon?

Ooooooh this might be the only time I turn down an offer for Sungwoon because overstimming Minhyun sounds gr8

~Ongniel threesome or Minhwan threesome?

Ongniel threesome. Those two could wreck me so hard

@cutiepieswithacherryontop u better appreciate this

[lesbiheon]

wait.... minhyuk's limping??? no ㅠㅠ i hope he's taking care of himself extra more ♡ and those antis can fight me i will defeat them

.

[dear-tumby]

just got out of a manic episode lol

yeah so im depressed now, no longer depresion haha funnys more like depresion no hahas and im pretty sure im scaring off my boyfriend so yeah, he stopped talking/hanging out with me when i was being honest about my feelings, like i was there when he relasped but i start talking my crazy shit and then suddenly mental illness is off the table??? whatever its not even like i like him or nothing like that. i dont understand why i do this to myself, this is just turning into a rant but ive been holding this down for so long it feels good to scream it out into the void that is tumblr yk? also like i drew on cut marks because it hurts less plus i can just wash that off, yk i do that a lot i put on makeup that made me look like i commeted suicide bc i was sad and suicidle(who would have gussed???) plus i just found this collage i really want to go to but no one belives i can do it and i act like that makes me wanna do it more but really it just shows how much people belive imma be a no body and im so scared im going to be suck here forever like my mom and dad. why does life have to be such a bitch like why do i always gotta screw up everything???? lke i have two boyfriends that care about me yet i want to date this girl thats never gonna love me back?? and when i say love i mean i actually love her so much and i cant talk about it because shell find out that im totally in love with her and shell flip out and distance herself from me and i need her shes my everything and if i don't have her in my life even just as a friend i think i need to switch schools again because that's what i always do, when shit gets rough go and hide because i cant handle all this shit and my parents are finally in a good place (mentally) and im gonna screw it up for them because ill stress them out by ignoring everyone and sleeping through meals and holidays and they'll yell at me because they don't understand and i don't blame them im a mess filled with self pity and gross tindencys so i cant have anyone love me truly because im so gross and i just want the felling of everything to stop, like i want to be so fucking happy that everyone thinks on on drugs, which i was on anti anxiety pills but then i felt nothing so i cut myself bu my dumbass was wearing white pants and my mom found out and yelled at me, and screamed and woke everyone up and my sibling still reminds me about it and every time he does i want to hold him down and beat the shit out of him, like does he even take my mental illness serously, does anyone??? are my parents just pretending to give a shit, at least my mom is, my dad cares for me but he just never says the right things, and i forgive him but i just want nothing to go wrong for once i just want everyone to stop. stop talking to me, stop trying to help but also ignoring my despreat cries for help doesn't make me feel any better and also i don't want to be lied toi want the truth even if it would hurt me yk? i don't know what i want, but i know it'd make me feel safe and happy and no long like everyone's trying to get me, i just want to have someone who'd look at all different sides of me and go "wow their awesome, and sure they do stuff i disagree with but there a good person who's gonna make it big and ill stand with them through thick and thin and its okay they have issues we all do and love every flaw" like im sure my boyfriend would say this but i don't want him to say it i want it shown i want to see and trust i can tell them anything and they'd stick around.

tldr: i was origanally posting this so everyone would know i didnt commet suicide but then it turned into a rant so, yah sorry, uh i read a really good south park fanfic so thats something good that happened, though it reminded me alot of me and me is my enemy rn so i was really angry but in a healthy good way, also thought my dad died but thats justsum good ol paranoia also sorry for all the typos, did ths on my computer at like 11:55 so im kinda half asleep

[perqabeth]

first impression of your moots vs current ?

if i miss anyone watch me move to antartica, get plastic surgery and change my identtiy to gaston. including the ones im close close to😿

@shoyotime : you prolly alr know everythiung im gonna say bUTT ANYWAY,, we met on wattpad in the comments section lip bites and ngl i thougth u were like 18 or 20 then pls bc u sounded SO MATURE. and d9ont get mad at me but the first day (AS IN THE DAY WE FIRST MET YKYK NOT WHEN WE STARTED TALKINGON IG) when we gonna make gaso gang acc ykyk i thought you were kinda bossy goodbye i will leave now im so embrazzed I WAS STUOID AND ONLY 14 THEN OKAY hahahahhaa nervous sweats anyway BUT NOWWWWWWWWWWWW PHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW ur like on of my (even my only, maybe) closest friends or wtvr 😒😒😒😒and i l*ove and care abt you or wtvr 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒 and you make me bvery very happie or wtvr 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒 vvvv smort and sexc and HONEST!!!!!! person AND FUNNY ASF ty for existing smh and not dropping me and aleesha on the first day😟

@srkuv : thoughts r being thunk rn I DONT REMEMBER HOW WE MET HOLYYYYYYY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT i think it was on ig when u were added to gaso gang gc?? or was it on wp?????? I KNOWI MET YOU THRU INEZ????? first child: smal impression.... wAIT *FIRST IMPRESION: SMOL CHILD 🤡🤡🤡 must protecc vv sweet :( okay uwu,, it hasnt changed much 👍ur still my smol childn't but ur like mature for your age!!! and like sm0rt ngl, still muct proteque but you can fight anyone you want. you arent afraid to say what you want!! mwah mwah

@maipxilia : MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MY FAV CHOILD OMG SCreams okay okay ngl when i first met you/saw you on my dashboard bc we had the same moots ykyk i thoguth you woulkd be 16 or smth PLEASE also hoLY SHIT PRETTAY ASS BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH AND HELLAAAAAAAAA FUNNY OMG. AND?#$%^& YOU READ RIORDAN BOOKS TOO T A S T E I TELL YOU. current imp: maia my beloved ilusm you like my typos :(((((( DO U KNOW HOW HAPPY THAT MADE ME B R O I ALMOST TRATED CRYING did i tell u i ranted abt that on my spam twt acc l0l ,, YOURE SO PRESHUS TOO MAN I CANT BELIEVE MAIA IS REAL but im so glad she is omg MAIA BEST GIRL OMLY OMLY ONLY shes so NICE AD SWEET AND chaotic sweet and awesome pls i want to cry and cradle you and protect yo form everything mwah maiko my QUEEN,, not saying i would drop everything just for you but... thats exactly what im saying 💘💘💘💘

@mysterystarz : novAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OMG HI QUEEN <333 hru ☺🤲 i thought you were really really sweet and sophisticated when i first ur blog omg AND UR WORKS???? CHEFS KISS EVERYTHING TO ME she writes so well omg i cannawt. vv nice too and loves akashi a lot pls. i still think you're very VERY VERY sweet and awesome AND CALMING BRO ur so so nice i cannot stress rhat enough :((((((( another person who's very very precious ok an angel i tell you AND ALSO ERY FUCKING PRETYY LIEK WTF...... MA;AM HAND IN MARRIAGE??????

@sumerag1 : ri 😕😕😕😕😕 you CLOWN when i first met you i thought you were only here for may and didnt wanna talk to anyone else yk 😀👌 also i thought u were not very good at texting bye,,, BUT YOU HAVE A WAY WITH WORDS THAT MAKES ANYONE FEEL COMFORTED AND WANTED????? MA'AM HOW. now omg ilysm ur so FUCKING N I CE you always text me first anf :((((( check up on me :(((((( aND ME FEEL APPRECIATED OKAY ILYSM THIS WORLD DOESNT DESERVE YOU RI BEST GIRL AGENDA also omg supreior headcanons i must say

@kodzukoi : KOI KOI KOi KOIIIIIIIII you came in my ask box right1!!!!!! PHEW IF U DID IM SO GLAD BC UR SO :(((((((((((((( AWESOME MAN YOU MATCH MY ENERGY >:))))))))))))))))) AND UR SO NICE TO TALK TO i thoguth you were like vv calm and laid back and stuff at first AND U ARE!!!1 BUT LIKE MORE CHAOTIC I THINK :DDDDD UR SUPER COOL 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 EVERRYTING YOU DO >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

@elitparadox : omg ele loml hi you are so nice!!!!! and calm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and you seem liek the mom friend who always showers her chirren w love and grounds everyone yk??? BUT UR STILL SO SO FUN AN DYOU HAVE SO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE I LITERALLY WANNA CRY :(((((( YOURE SO SO SO SWEET I CANNOT breaksdown i swear you make everyone feel loved :((((((((( I HOPE UR GETTING THE SAME IN RETURN BC U DESERVE THE SAME OKAYU ur so loving i cannaut stop sayng that <33333

@sakusaxwindex : girl youre literally m ycousin...... um annoying ass mf dont knwo who she is bullie <///3 but the only person i tr*st or wtvr 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒 smh #vros💯✨ or wtvr 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒 only cusin i genuinely l*ke and look forward to or wtrv 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒 smh r0t

[cooperclaystown]

a lot of typos but that's just what ranting's like

listen. listen. i haven't been to tumblr since probably may, my last scheduled (im not even trying to spell that right and my keyboard isn't set to english) post went out in june at the latest and it wasn't even in this blog

i don't use this blog a lot, all eleven of you know that. and my hopes were low for the show, they were *low* listen, ok?

but im not even halfway to through the second episode and it feels like some awful netflix teen show, riverdale is taking notes

i knew it wasn't gonna be like the book! i got that! the actor's are all in their late 20's and the book doesn't have enough plot to be a whole show but i thougjt that meant they were going to explore the characters more, not turn bronwynn into a sterotypical nightmare, throw addy's personality away and make her a "mommy is mean and life sucks and my biggest problem is that i cheated on my loving awesome bf for no apparent reason!" character. i read the book almost two and a half years ago and i remember enough to know her storyarc was probably the biggest and the whole thing about her being in the clininc because her boyfriend asked her to and her inability to stand up for herself and ok. i get it. there's a lot of room for her to have an arc here but i... just don't understand why the show did her like that.

and full disclosure here? i dont even remember her or nate's secret. i do however remember nate having a personality. i remember being worried about him and wanting to know what was going on with him. him and bronwynn were so good in the book because yes, we expected them to be together we knew it would happen but it was nice. like i said i don't remember that much but it wasn't so godawfully cringey as the show is.

back to bronwynn again. just. ughh. honestly the show has such potential for the switiching back between pov's (like they did during the interrogation!) but i feel like i don't know any of the characters. bronwynn and nate felt like main's (as in more than addy and cooper) when reading the book but i literally don't care for either of them right now? or maeve, she was much of a side in the (first) book but she had a role ! she was there !

so. onto cooper. i'm incredibly fond of cooper, you can tell. cooper and addy are my favorite characters from both books, i love them both dearly and they both individually mean so much to me. im still figuring myself out but i realized cooper was gay chapters before it was revealed and i clung to him. (and then i wonder how it took me so many years to realize i'm not straight) it was the fact that NO ONE KNEW. because he was afraid and yes he trusted his friends and he genuenly loved and cared for keely (even tho she got done wrong in the bpok- nowhere near enough screen (book?) time). and you can go look at my pinned post, im so fond of cooper because his storyarc felt -feels- like it could be me. easily. and i loved kris , despite his lack of proper screen time. and the fact that the two had each other was very important to me.

which, in my brain there's a logical jump here, why is there so much sex?? i dont even want to ellaborate on this one but uh, i read this book in middle school and i remember it being trending topic with the seventh graders?? kris and cooper had an caring relationship in the book and here it's a "let's be more than friends with benefits" (that's where the jump came from). and like i said, addy's secret might have been cheating but it was not like this. and yeah the actors are aged up (alwyas an awful idea) and teenagers have sex but still, it's the fact producers forget the big deal is that it's KIDS that saw a classmate die in front on their eyes and a child that is manipulated by her boyfriend and pressured by her mother, a high schooler with the weigh on the world on his shoulders selling drugs to stay afloat, a teenage girl trying to plan her entire life. big deal of YA books? THEYRE TEENS! that's why they resonate.

the show is really ruinung the characters and their world and all the things that i associate with this fandom. this tiny but lovely fandom that was just craving for conent and holding on to one another. so, this is as far as i got, one and a half epsiodes in. i genuenenly (listen, its a long day, its legible) actually truly hope y'all enjoy the show because you deserve to