#im not even asking to help me with my problems anymore i just want to not be left alone when im actively spiralling
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nalver · 1 year ago
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yknow i try to ignore the thoughts about possibly having dyscalculia but every time i think about it i just wonder, why are people so unwilling to hear me out on it?
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kil9 · 2 years ago
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aauauauuougghghs i need to move out 👁👁
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^^^ [CHEC IT OUT] i need to move out moodboard (available now !!!(
#99.txt#my mom is like ''you seem upset with mee :('' yeah cos straight up like i think i just hate u now#when i got covid it was MY problem i stayed in my room. i wore a mask any time i left. i even wore gloves to the kitchen.#to make sure she didnt get it (and she didnt !!!) and i even cleaned the whole house while i had it lol. and still kept it away from her#so now that she has it guess what !!!!!!!!!!!! everyone guess what !!!! its STILL my problem !!!#i stay in my room ! i use the basement toilet !! i have to wear a mask outside my room at all times !!#and wash my hands so much im gettin rashes because she just goes around doing whatever touching whatever ?#coughing on whatever because she doesnt give a shit !!!!#i made it my mission when i had it to keep her safe#and now that she has it its ''well if you wanna keep safe thats your responsibility'' like ???????#i promise you the thought of making space for another person & accommodating or compromising has never occoured to her once#its all ''well its up to you !!! good luck !!!!!'' yeah fuck me i guess#and she keeps bothering me asking me to help her with shit still !!!!!!!!!!!#''how do i find my documents on the computer ive had for 10 years :('' are you stupid ?????? are you dumb for real ???????#and she puts me in the situation where. im busy clearly busy with my own shit#but she feels SO entitled to my time that she will just insist that i drop everything and do something for her#if i say no or have a slightly unenthusiastic response its ''oh youre SO mean to me youre SO mean. no one will want you :('' ...ok.#but if i ask for help from my own mother once in a while its ''wow you ask so much of me you know youre not a child anymore :\\\''#yeah. i know. i dont think ive been helped with anything by a parent since i was like 15 years old#''why are you mad at me ven you seem mad at me :('' yeah . i think like you just kinda fucking suck
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theventerrr · 3 months ago
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what am i supposed to do when im there for all my friends when they go in vent chats but the second i enter a crisis and need someone to just... be there at the very least everyone leaves?
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emulation-0 · 1 year ago
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#i really cant do this anymore i dont know what to do#i just want someone to listen to me i want someone to understand but i cant make anyone listen to me or understand#im a selfish person but everything ive done is for them. i did everything to go against my nature i did everything to not want anything#i dont care about anyone or anything i dont even care about myself. everything for them. and its not enough#ive been good i think. i havent been selfish. all i wanted was for them to be happy and have a good life and maybe if im lucky mine#will get cut short so i dont have to drag myself through all of this but its not enough apparently to do everything i can for them#its not enough to get the best grades and never go out and never talk about my problems and never ask for anything#i have to want something for my future too? how is that fair. everything for you and you say it was all worthless and wasteful#and everything i did is for fucking nothing and im stupid and telling me shit i already know#you dont have to tell me my hobbies and my likes are for nothing i already know. i asked you for your opinion because everything is for you#my life is for you and i asked you if my choices were okay because your opinion matters over everything#didnt you think there was a reason why i always ask you what you want and what you like? but i was being selfish?#theres no point trying to make you understand you just never will. theres no point talking to you#i can put myself in a position where im begging for help from you and you wont understand. you wont listen to me. you never have#youve never understood me when it mattered. you only ever loved me in the ways you know how and i never complained#i already gave my future to taking care of you because theres nothing else i can do. but somehow i make u feel bad for it. im being selfish#so i dont understand what you want me to do. ive always done everything you said. you tell me to shut up and i do. you tell me not to go out#and i dont. you want me to smile and do all these things i dont give a shit about and i do#and then you want me not to do any of these things? think about myself? make up your mind already#im so tired trying and trying to be a person you wont be disappointed by and i keep failing. nothing i do is good#and i cant talk to you about it or my brother or my cousins because they dont understand it. they never listen when it matters#fucking whatever#vent post#delete later#aricouldyounot
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purewater100 · 1 year ago
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iamnotlookingidonotseeit · 1 year ago
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sometimes the notes app ain't it, u have to do vent posts where no one will see it
#im just upset feeling like chopped liver bc no one cares about MY shit#but then feeling bad about feeling upset because i can be kind of a cold bitch and i care about THEIR shit but maybe they dont know it#or its not enough or something#it's just the last few times ive needed help or sympathy i havent gotten it#i never used to ask and now when im trying to speak up no one listens. and so i kinda just wonder is it me or them#do i not know how to ask right or was i really justified in not asking out of fear i would find out there wouldn't be help for me?#lets therapy it up i feel: lonely. snubbed. unwanted. hurt. angry. ashamed. like im underwhelming to everyone and unwanted even when i try#when i try to do the things that people say they want in a friend and not the things people say are offputting. am i just that unlikable?#well from a vent post im not doing myself any credits#but. i am trying. so it hurts to fail; which was the whole point of withdrawing and avoiding failure this whole time#thinking about my boss saying 'i was stressed watching you but i never have to be worried you won't succeed on your own'#or my dad dismissing my asking him to drive to me during the worst week ever because I'm physically capable of doing it myself#even though he's done it for my sister multiple times just bc she asked#about being ignored by half my family last weekend when i was barely skirting having a panic attack#about my qpp shutting me down when i wanted to vent about that. i know they have their own problems but still#about soothing my sister's meltdown the next day AND cleaning her kitchen for company AND cooking dinner for said company#with hardly an acknowledgement#about always being the fifth wheel at immediate family stuff these days when my immediate family has always been so important to me#I'm so sick of keeping my secrets and setting aside my own needs and getting quieter and more distant until i just break away unnoticed(?)#i dont want to do that anymore and I'm trying to speak up and Be A Goddamn Person who embarrassingly has human needs#but how on earth am i managing to do it wrong
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satansappendix · 1 year ago
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Oh my god
#how to explain to mt neurotypical and abled sister that at the end of the day i dont have the mental energy to answer questions#like none#i have had a very long day of waking up early which (my intenstines make very clear is bad) and then being incredibly stressed at work#cause our fucking cash machine that handles all the cash in the store is broken and i have to balance the store and somehow fix thefuckedne#during which i didnt get time to eat anything till i got home at 2 (i wrnt in at 7 am)#then i get home and have an anxiety attack about my cat who has bladder problems and who could be obstructed again#cause we are rearranging our house for construction and he doesnt have his normal food to help reduce the likely hood#and then my mom is asking me to rearrange the furniture to make room for the window replacements tomorrow#i literally have no more mental capacity to make any decisions or wnswer anymote questions#it is just too hard to think about if im going to the beach with them on Friday#im overwhelmed and like anymore decisions or input is too much even like well meaning input#hhhhhhh#and i like dont have the ability explain this with worss cause when im overstimulated or having an attack i lose my ability to use my words#and i dtutter a dhit ton and it just stops being worth it to communicate that way#so no i want to sleep#also the way my mom is like its fine to be concerned about Lageos but you shouldnt 'let it ruin your ehole day' as if i have control over it#and dont have an unmedicated anxiety disorder and i cant just stop feeling emotikns also im autistic so like thats literally not an option#i litrrqlly cant stop being ancious about it no matter how much i understand it makes no snese
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strwbrymlkshake · 2 years ago
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really. for real. deadass. on god. are you kidding me. if these problems aren't my fault then why am I always in the center of them
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miya-rin · 4 months ago
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“what the fuck do you two think youre doing?”
shit, you think, you didnt notice the balcony door had been slid open until you heard the voice of one of your brothers. you start to pull away from suna’s lips which earns you a small whine from his end, his grip tightens around you and honestly it its quite cute the way he is trying so hard to savour the moment. “come back later, we’re kinda busy.” the boy mutters before trying to move your face away from the distraction so that he can kiss you once more.
“suna you get your hands off of her right now, i dont give a fuck that its your birthday.” osamu pipes up, he looks furious and a little bit disgusted, if it hadnt been for the situation youre in right now you would think its kind of funny.
“samu lay off him, it was a mutual agreement, im just as guilty as he is ok?” that does not seem to help the boys understand, if anything they seem even more angry with you both.
“what the fuck do you mean it was a mutual agreement? are you two hooking up or something? yn he just turned 18 a few hours ago are you forgetting that?” atsumu says, he is rambling on with every excuse he can think of as to why this is “so wrong”, from the corner of your eye you can see suna trying so very hard to hide the grin that is creeping its way onto his face, his hands still all over you despite the fact that you arent alone anymore.
“listen, it was his birthday wish ok? i swear it didn’t mean anything,” sunas grip begins to loosen ever so slightly, “i just though it would get him off my back and get him over his little crush on me.” suna’s facial expression shifts but you choose to ignore it, you have bigger problems to deal with at the moment.
“no this is not ok, how would you feel if me or samu kissed one of your friends because it was their birthday wish?”
“that’s different, why would my friends want to kiss either of you?”
“excuse me? ill have you know that many women want to kiss me! and dont think youre getting off the hook either suna, ill make sure you never-“ you dont even want to hear the threat that is about to come out of his mouth, you just want to get out of this shitty situation.
“boys please, just give us five minutes to talk and then we will be back inside ok? i promise.” your efforts to plead with your brothers finally work.
“…fine,” atsumu mumbles, “but this better be a one time thing. im not gonna deal with you two being all lovey dovey around me.” and with that he lightly tugs on osamu’s sleeve, signalling him to walk back inside and continue the party. he closes the balcony door but not before bringing two fingers up to his eyes and then pointing them at the two of you. its a warning.
you turn back to suna and notice the sad look on his face - he looks kinda cute like this, “so, what do-“.
“did you really mean what you just said to them?” the poor boy looks heartbroken, after waiting three years to finally have a chance with the girl he loves wants the moment is ruined like that? “did you actually just do that so i would leave you alone?” his hands fully leave your body now and he takes a step back to put some distance between you two.
“well i mean sort of yeah… ive never looked at you in any way other than my brothers best friend if im going to be honest, i dont know if thats because of the age difference or what but ive never thought we could be anything.” the look of hurt is prominent on his face no matter how hard he tries to hide it, normally playful banter would have been thrown back and forth between the two of you but rintarou just stays silent, an indication that youve fucked up.
“listen suna i dont know what you want me to say, i wasnt really thinking when i said that to atsumu it just came out. i am 4 years older than you and many people would not approve of us if i decided to give you a chance.”
“who cares? i could treat you so right if you would just let me. i have waited entirely too long for this moment, all im asking for is one date.”
“you said that about the kiss too, one thing is never enough with you is it? you always need more.” a playful smile creeps onto your face which is outshined by the one on sunas, he knows that your smile means that you agree to go on a date with him.
“i really hope you arent fucking with me right now, that would be so cruel, especially on my birthday.”
“oh give the birthday excuse a rest now will you? you dont need to keep on at me you have already got what you want.”
“mhm i absolutely have,” he walks closer and once again wraps his arms around you, placing a hand under your jawbone to make you look up at him, “and i couldnt be happier.” he states as he pulls you in for a passionate kiss once more <3
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whenlilyfallsinlove · 4 months ago
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i know you
eli moskowitz x reader... (y/n) is basically jess in gilmore girls.. ive been obsessed with cobra kai lately
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"what the fuck are you doing?"
"excuse me?"
you don't think you have ever felt as angry as you have done today. finding out that one of your best friends, that you just so happened to be in love with, had changed completely as a person was one thing. finding out he tried to beat up the third member of your little trio was another.
so you did what you had to, you always felt the need to go out the way to protect eli and demetri. you didn't think it would end up being from each other.
approximately half an hour earlier:
"(y/n)." demetri's face flooded your screen, as you were sprawled across your bed. calls were usually a common thing between the two of you now eli was distant.
"demetri.. hey! you okay?" you respond, taking note of his face.
"no." he says, in a deadpan tone.
"umm why? what happened?"
"eli happened."
of course. ever since your best friend since age 6 joined cobra kai, he had felt like a whole new person. he even gave himself a new name for goodness sake! you and demetri both knew it wasn't the real him. you'd known him for too long. that being said - this new persona didn't stop him avoiding you both.
"what did.. what did he do?" you look into your phone camera, worry evident on your face.
"he tried to beat me up! i was at the mall with sam and robby.. and i went to the comic book store.. and he was there. wasn't happy with my yelp review and tried to fight me."
"what the hell." your eyes widen slightly. rage soaring through your veins. what was he playing at? putting on a front to show off to his friends. why didn't he remember who his real friends were?
"i know.. i just can't believe he would do it. we were friends with him!"
"i know.. are you sure you're okay?" you ask, concerned.
"i'm fine.. robby and sam helped fight them off it just.. caught me by surprise."
"i bet it did.. look i'll ring you later, okay? i just need to take care of something."
demetri knew you all too well.
"don't do something you'll regret." he says.
"i won't."
now here you were, shouting at someone that was supposed to be your best friend. the boy you have had a crush on for so many years.
"don't 'excuse me'. you know what you did." you scoff, walking closer to him. you had decided to wait until he had finished karate to talk, it seemed appropriate.
"oh yeah? and what's that?" eli looked at you, his tone cocky.
"you tried to beat up demetri! what are you doing?" you question, looking at him in disgust.
"he shouldn't have put up that yelp review." he scowls.
"oh who cares about a stupid review! he's supposed to be one of your best friends." you say, angrily.
"not anymore. i'm not friends with pussies."
"what the hell is your problem? what.. you gonna ditch us just because we don't want to beat people up like you do?" your voice raises slightly, causing eli's scowl to falter.
"I told you, i'm not friends with weak people." he says.
"are you kidding? seriously! who was the one that used to fight your bullies in elementary? me! who was your first friend? demetri!"
"we're not kids anymore. people change. friendships change. it's not my fault you guys aren't strong enough for this." eli says, looking away from you, his demeanour crumbling.
"you're not like that either. you're putting on an act!" you exclaim.
"an act? the fuck? this is me now, accept it." he shouts.
"what's going on with you?!"
"nothing.. im fine." he says, his eyes searching your face.
"i know you. i know you better than anyone! this isn't you."
"what do you mean?"
"you know what i mean! starting fights with demetri.. ditching us for those idiots.. being so violent. why are you being so violent?" you ask, looking him in the eye.
the pleading in your voice makes his face soften slightly. you always had a way of getting to him. i mean, of course you did, he'd always had a massive crush on you.
"just tell me what's up with you! i care about you. why are you being like this?" you beg.
eli struggles to get his words out. he wanted to reach out, he wanted to hug you. he wanted to go back to yours and watch doctor who with you and demetri. but he coudln't.
"you don't.. you don't know me anymore." he forces out.
your face falls and eli swears he could feel his heart break.
"fine. don't expect me to wait for you anymore." and with that you turn and walk away, a small part of you hoping he stops you.
he doesn't.
he wants to, he really does. but that's not him anymore.
he watches you walking off with a pained expression, knowing hes fucked up. he just can't bring himself to stop you.
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uluvjay · 10 months ago
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Fall in love with you- T. Zegras
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Trevor Zegras x Best friend! Reader (feat. Quinn Hughes)
Summary: you knew Better than to fall in love with Trevor
Warnings?; angst, self-doubt, crying, asshole Trevor, cursing, Quinn comes to the rescue, this is extremely old and hardly proofread so I apologize for any errors!
Next part
You were Trevor’s best friend, your moms were best friends in collage leading to the life long friendship of you two.
You two had always been close even when he moved to Michigan for hockey you never drifted. He begged you to come to Boston with him for collage even though he only stayed a year and your had gotten into your dream school.
It was Trevor how could you say no?
That was a problem of yours never being able to tell him no. He wanted to go to a party even though you hated them? You went, wanted you to stay up late with him despite you having a big test the next day? You did it.
You always blamed it on the fact he was your best friend but everyone besides Trevor knew you were lying, they could all see how in love you were with him they just never brought it up.
The first person to call you out on those feelings was Quinn Hughes. Trevor had invited you to the Hughes lake house two summers ago where he constantly left you and was hardly even home most nights, usually with some random girl he met that day.
There had been an argument between you and Trevor, you blew up on him after he came home from another one night stand telling him if you knew you would be spending more time with the Hughes family and their other friends then him you wouldn’t have come in the first place.
He got offended saying he was allowed to have fun to even though that had nothing to do with what you were saying, after he stormed out of the room you were staying in you made the impulse decision to book a flight back to New York, and get the hell out of there but Quinn had caught you packing.
—-
“Hey you okay we heard you two yell- woah what’re you packing for?” He asked stopping himself mid sentence
“Im going home Quinn, thank you for opening your home to me I really appreciate it and you guys have all been so nice spending time with me while Trevor’s off with random girls every night”
“Wait, why are you leaving though? Did Trevor say something? I’ll go kick his ass right now if he hurt your feelings”
“No he didn’t I-I just can’t do this anymore, he begged me to come and of course I said yes like always just for him to pretty much say fuck me and leave me to be with some random girls who probably took pictures of him sleeping so they can post them an-“
“Your in love with him” he said cutting you off
“What? No Quinn, I’m not” you replied with a defensive laugh
“Don’t lie to me”
“Quinn I’m not”
“Cut the bullshit” he told you more stern shutting the door
“I’m not lying”
“Yes you are, I see the way you look at your phone when he lets you know he won’t be coming back, how you stare at the marks on his neck and back, how you stare daggers into all the girls that talk to him, the way your face lights up when he walks into a room, your in love”
“He can’t know Quinn, it’ll ruin everything” you told him looking down at your hands
“Hey, your secrets safe with me, but you can’t do this to yourself forever kid”
And that’s how You and Quinn also became best friends
—-
Fast forward two years and here you are back at the same Lake house in the same predicament. However over last summer you became good friends with most of the guys including Jamie and Mason who came with from Anaheim.
You Graduated from collage in May and got your degree in interior design, tonight Quinn and Jack were hosting you a small graduation dinner as they wasn’t able to attend your graduation along with some of the other guys.
You were standing in the Kitchen with Cole, Quinn, Jack, Trevor and Jamie who had all just come back from a workout.
“So Y/n you gonna come to Montreal and help me make my house look nice? I need some help decorating my shelves they don’t look good” Cole asked
“You can reach your shelves?” Jack asked causing everyone to laugh
“Shut up asshole” Cole replied
“Yeah Coley I’ll come help but I won’t be needing your stepladder I should be good” you said adding in to the joking
“You know what fuck all of you” he said walking off laughing
“Love you!” You called out laughing as well
“When he murders us all in our sleep I won’t be surprised” Quinn said causing everyone to let out light giggles
“Y/n what color you wearing tonight? I don’t wanna clash” Jack asked you
“You act like you won’t be wearing shorts and a random shirt ” you replied “but probably this white dress I bought a little while ago, I’m finally tan enough to wear it”
“You can’t wear white, the girl I invited is” Trevor blurted out looking at his phone
“Dude what the hell? I told you this was a lake house thing only, only the people staying here are allowed at the dinner, no extra invites” Quinn said getting a little pissed
“Aren’t your parents coming? Along with Luke, some of his friends, and y/n’s one friend? Why can’t my friend come”
“That’s our Family Z, they have a relationship with y/n and she knows Luke’s friends from them hanging around they’re like all madly in love with her” Jack said joining in
“Y/n’s fine with it right?” He said giving you the look he always did when he wanted something from you
“I’m not paying, it’s up to Quinn and Jack they organized the dinner” you said looking away
“Yeah so she’s not coming and if she for some reason does show up, she better not be in white, it’s Y/n’s night” Quinn said ending the conversation and walking out everyone else following besides you and Trevor.
“What the hell was that?” Trevor scoffed
“What?”
“You totally taking Quinn’s side!? Are you in a mood with me or something? Why can’t my friend come”
“Because I’m not paying Z, it’s not something i organized Quinn and Jack did, if I had it up to me we’d being having pizza and sitting around a fire not going to a fancy restaurant.” you told him growing a bit annoyed.
“Whatever” he mumbled stomping off.
Four hours later everyone was in a private room at some fancy restaurant in Michigan, in all it had ended up being You, The Hughes family, Cole, Mason, Jamie, Trevor, Dylan and Luca.
Trevor hadn’t spoken to you since earlier in the kitchen and hadn’t gotten off his phone since you guys had gotten to the restaurant.
Jamie and Mason had both said something to him multiple times but it just ended with Trevor giving both of them attitude.
You were talking with Ellen about the new things she had planted in their home garden when Trevor stood up and pocketed his phone walking out of the private room.
“Okay can I ask what the hell his problem is?” Ellen had asked loud enough for everyone to hear.
“I didn’t let him invite one of his little hookups and he got mad because Y/n took my side instead of giving in” Quinn explained.
“He hasn’t said a word to me since like noon either” Jack added.
“Okay this isn’t about him and let’s not make it about him, tonight is about Y/n and her achievements” Jim said shutting everyone up just in time as the food was being served.
Ten minutes later the door opened back up and in walked Trevor with a blonde girl.
You froze, was he serious right now? For one night he couldn’t listen and not go off and do what he wanted. You looked around and seen Jamie and Cole both rubbing their foreheads and looked next to you at Quinn who had his head titled back, then to your right to your best friend who looked like she was about to murder both Trevor and the blonde girl.
You returned to eating until you heard someone scoff and a chair scoot out, as you looked up you seen Jamie pulling Trevor out the room, leaving the girl in the room.
“And you are?” Ellen asked causing Luke and Jack to both let out slight laughs at how straightforward their mom was.
“Emma” she replied
“Mm” was all Ellen replied, she also knew about your feelings for Trevor
The door opened back up and in walked a pissed off Jamie which was a rare sight to see, and an annoyed Trevor.
“Everyone this is my girlfriend Emma” he announced and it got so quiet you could hear a pin drop as everyone looked from them to you.
Did everyone know about your feelings? Were you truly that noticeable when it came to how you acted around Trevor?
“Since when?” Mason asked
“Three months” Emma answered
Everyone just stayed quite, the tension could be cut with a knife and the amount of awkwardness was uncomfortable.
“I think it’s time to head home” you whispered in Quinn’s ear
“Yeah, I’ll go grab the check” he said getting up and walking out
“Where’s he going?” Trevor asked
“To get the Check” you replied
“Already? Is that what you whispered in his ear about? I’m not ready to leave you can’t just decide when we all leave Y/n”
“Well I’m ready to head home Trevor and it was my graduation dinner but you of course found a way to make the night about you” you snapped standing up and leaving.
Once everyone got home you went straight to your room and got changed into comfortable clothes, went down stairs, made a drink and went outback.
You were feeling a rollercoaster of emotions, you loved Trevor and he constantly hurt you but honestly it was your fault, you were the one that never told him how you feel how’s he supposed to know you wanna be the one in his bed every night?
You were also angry at him, how dare he pull the shit he did tonight at your graduation dinner of all things. You celebrated multiple achievements of his with him and never once made it about you, it just wasn’t fair.
You didn’t even realize someone had come outside or that you were crying until you heard someone ask you something.
“Huh?” You asked as you came back to your surroundings to see Jack sitting next to you.
“I asked why your crying”
“Oh it’s nothing” you rushed out wiping your tears
“Non of that Bullshit what’s up” he asked
“I love Trevor, no I’m in love with him, have been since I was 17”
“I know” he replied nonchalantly
“What?!”
“It’s not hard to notice y/n, your pretty bad at hiding it” he said with a laugh
“You don’t think he noticed do you..”
“No he’s to stupid” he told you laughing again
“Good, I just don’t know what I’d do if he found out I was in love with him, we’ve been best friends since we were born it would ruin everything.”
“You’re in love with me?” You heard the person that shouldn’t be asking that question ask it.
“Shit” you mumbled closing your eyes
“I’m gonna head back inside” Jack said getting up and patting your shoulder
“I asked you a question Y/n, please tell me you’re talking about someone else you’ve been friends with since kids.”Trevor said
“No it’s you, I love you” you said in a low voice
“What the Fuck” he said with a laugh
“I know, I know I’m sorr-“
“Sorry doesn’t cut it Y/n! Do you know what this is going to change? Everything! Our whole lives, every moment we’ve ever shared, it’s all different now”
“I know that’s why I never said anything, I knew you wouldn’t feel the same” you mumbled
“Damn right I don’t feel that way”
“Can you not be rude right now?, you listened in on a conversation you had no business hearing and now you know information that just ruined our friendship, I don’t need you being an ass”
“Why? Why me y/n?”
“I don’t know Trevor! I ask myself that every single day, why you, why my best friend? And I don’t have an answer ” you told him.
“You should have known better”
“It not like I wanted to fall for you Trevor, it’s not like I hoped and wished that I’d fall in love with you and ruin a 22 year long friendship.”
“We need space, I need space y/n I don’t know how to feel about this.” he told you
“I’ll find the next flight to New York tomorrow and be gone” you told him walking past him and into the house.
As you were laying in bed you heard someone knock on your door, “come in” you said with a hoarse voice from crying
“Hey I just wanted to check in, Jack told me what happened” Quinn said walking in
“It was so bad Quinny” you said breaking down again.
“No, don’t cry, it’ll be okay y/n” he said sitting next to you and rubbing your back
“I’m leaving tomorrow” you told him
“Why?”
“He said he wants space so I’m gonna go home, I think it’s for the better you know getting away from him”
“Don’t go home, let’s go somewhere”
“Where?” You asked with curiosity
“A beach?”
“That sounds nice”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah” you said looking up at him with a smile
—-
Next part
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ravenromanova · 1 year ago
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I fucking hate you
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Parings: Bucky x Female avenger reader
Warnings: Enemies to lovers, Mean Bucky (only for a little). SMUTTTTT DO NOT READ IF YOURE UNDER 18+! Daddy kink, Metal arm kink, Praise kink, Hate fucking, Breeding kink, Unprotected sex, Oral (m and f), Fingering. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDERAGE
Summary: When you and Bucky are forced to have a therapy session after a mission gone wrong you two find another way to let the anger out.
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The sound of the clock ticking mixed with a pen tapping against a notebook drives you insane as you stare at the wall. It’s been thirty minutes of silence with neither you or Bucky daring to speak first. In your eyes this session was pointless. He was the one who fucked up the mission and yet youre paying for it by having a therapy session with him.
The mission was a simple intel mission… or it should’ve been until Bucky went off the rails and got the both of you captured. Luckily you were able to get yourselves freed before anything bad happened. But nevertheless you were told by Fury and Maria that you two needed to fix the issues between you. Honestly you didn’t hate Bucky as much as you led on but he could be such an insufferable asshole sometimes.
He would constantly pick on you like a small child, belittle your powers and abilities, and not to mention he would constantly ditch you during missions. So since he wanted to be an asshole you decided that being a petty bitch would get him to stop��� You were very wrong and that just seemed to make it worse for you.
All in all you were completely infatuated with the super soldier but it was clear he had no interest in you. So you kept up the petty bitch act and that just meant the two of you were constantly at war with one another.
“This is a waste of time, It wasnt even my fault the mission got fucked up so im not even sure why im here.” You state crossing your arms looking at Dr.Raynor.
“The reason youre here y/n is so you and James can work through whatever it is going on in hopes that you two start getting along” The older woman says with a slight shake to her head.
“I wouldn’t have a problem with him if he wasnt such a dick” Your words made Bucky whip his head to look at you with a scowl on his face.
“Oh im the asshole? What about you huh? You’re a fucking pest and not to mention the weakest one on the team” He scoffed looking back at raynor.
“THE WEAKEST ONE? The only thing special about you came from a fucking test tube” You retort feeling yourself about to explode from rage.
“Oh so that’s how we are gonna play this?” He asked cocking his head to the side with a smug smile.
“You act like youre tough shit when in all reality take off the arm and take away the serum then what are you? A amputee with a military background.. You aren’t that special” Your words hit a part of him he didn’t know existed anymore.
“Okay enough you two!” Dr.Raynor said before Bucky had the chance to respond. “This is ridiculous! Throwing insults back and forth wont help whatever is going on between you two” She continued and you and Bucky huffed.
“It definitely makes me feel better knowing miss priss over here gets knocked down a few pegs” He mumbles under his breath.
“Okay that’s it! I’m fucking done. I cant do this shit anymore. You wanna hate me? fine. Guess what? I fucking hate you too” You said standing up abruptly and slamming the door as you exit the room.
Bucky and Dr.Raynor both looked at each other and sighed. “Why cant you just be honest with her?” She asked him making him roll his eyes.
“I dont know what youre talking about” He shakes his head making the older woman groan.
“Dont play dumb James. We both know how you feel about y/n you are just to chicken shit to tell her” She retorts raising her eyebrows at the solider.
“You’re a terrible therapist” He retorts shaking his head at her comment. Yes Bucky was madly in love with you but he didn’t think you’d feel the same after his past and how he’s treated you.
Ever since Bucky had come back from being blipped he found it difficult to readjust to life yet again. So he did what he always did he threw himself into his work. Avenging became the only thing he did day in and day out. He had met you during a meeting when you were introduced as the newest Avenger. You were all bright and bubbly towards everyone even him.
Naturally he avoided you not wanting to taint the sunshine that shined from within. But despite him being a dick to you, you still smiled at him during training, said good morning whenever you saw him in the mornings. You were just always sweet to him for some reason even though he had never shown you kindness. Well that was until six months ago when one day you were just as bitchy to him as he was you.
For some reason that hurt Bucky more than he thought possible. He didn’t think he would miss your sunshiny attitude until it was gone. The two of you started fighting amend arguing over everything for the past six months. The entire team was annoyed by the sudden escalation in you and Bucky’s relationship. Normally he would just be cold to you and that was it. But now you’ve started fighting back which was a surprise to everyone since you were normally so quiet. Bucky missed the ray of sunshine you used to be but he also didn’t want to taint you with his presence.
But nevertheless Bucky kept up his whole thing of messing with you and you started being bitchy right back, which was why the two of you were forced into therapy together.
“Go tell her how you feel James, That’s youre homework for the week” Dr.Raynor said breaking Bucky out of his thoughts.
“And if i dont?” He pushed tilting his head. The woman looked at him then sighed.
“If you dont ill make sure you and Peter are assigned on the same missions for six months” She threatened and Bucky’s eyes widened at the thought of being stuck with parker on missions.
“Okay okay no need to do all that” He said standing up and putting his hands up in defeat. The older woman laughed to herself as she watched Bucky walk out her office.
Bucky had left the office to go and find you but had no luck. He had looked for you in all of your normal spots kitchen, living room, game room, your room but you weren’t there. It wasnt until he decided to check the training room that he had found you. You were at the punching bags hitting them as hard as you could to get out your anger.
“Y/n?” He said softly as he approached you carefully not wanting to startle you. You had turned around to face him with your chest heaving and your face sweaty.
“What Bucky?” Your voice dripped with venom as you spoke. Bucky had ran his hand through his hair sighing a little.
“Look i just wanted to say im sorry” He said and you looked for any hints of sarcasm or anything in his eyes but found none.
“I’m sorry im gonna need you to repeat that” You brought a hand to your ear acting like you didn’t hear him.
“I’m sorry for being an asshole. I never meant to hurt youre feelings doll” Bucky repeated but this time adding in a nickname that made your heart race.
“i-its okay” You stutter out not really fathoming the fact that Bucky is apologizing or that fact that he used a nickname to address you instead of an insult.
“No its not- i-i just dont know how to handle my emotions properly and i took it out on you when i shouldn’t have” His hands didn’t their way to your hips as he speaks. Your eyes go to his wands on your waist and then back up to him.
“It’s okay Bucky i get it” You say as your hands find their way to his shoulders. Bucky’s flesh hand moved to cup your face as he looked into your eyes making you melt. He slowly rubs his thumb against your cheek making you smile and lean into his touch.
“Why are you being so nice all of a sudden?” The question comes out shaky when you speak.
“Because it wasnt until you said that you hated me that i realized i fucked up and treated the one person who has never looked at me like a monster like shit. And i couldn’t stand the thought of you hating me.” He said honestly and for the first time you could see genuine emotion in his eyes.
“And whys that?” You ask stepping a little closer to him with a small smile.
“Because im in love with you” Bucky admits bringing you into a passionate kiss. You wrap your arms around his neck and deepen the kiss earning a small groan from him. The two of you get so wrapped up in each other you forget to come up for air.
“I-I love you too” You admit after you catch your breath making him smile. Bucky then picks you up and you wrap your legs around his waist. He then carries you out of the training room and takes you to his.
When he brings you back to his room he lays you down on the bed before getting on top of you. He slots himself between your legs as he brings you in for another heated kiss. You moan into the kiss as you feel his hands roam all over your body. Bucky’s hands find the hem of your shorts and pull them down your thighs not breaking the kiss.
“Please” You whisper against his lips feeling his metal hand graze your dripping core. He sits on his knees and takes off you shirt then bra before sucking on your nipple. You throw your head back in pleasure letting out a moan.
“Oh fuck” Bucky takes his metal hand and finds his way in your panties and starts playing with your clit. “Yes daddy” You whimper breathlessly feeling the cool metal come into contact with your heat.
“Oh you like that kotenok?’ He asks after he releases your nipple with a pop. You nod your head and whisper a ‘Yes’ and start bucking your hips against his hand.
“Please please fuck me” You beg moving your hand down to his clothed crotch.
“So needy” He mocks unbuckling his belt and drops his pants on the floor before taking off his boxers and shirt. Once he’s fully naked in front of you, you cant help but stare at his reddened cock standing at attention for you.
You sit up so you come face to face with the red tip and wrap your hand around the base of his cock. His eyes go wide and his breath catches in his throat when you lick the pre cum off his slit.
“So good” You whisper before you hollow out your cheeks and take him into your mouth. His hands instantly find their way into your hair trying to resist fucking your throat. You tap his thigh letting him know he can use you as he pleases.
Bucky then grips onto your hair tighter and starts to thrust into your throat. “Fuck kotenok” He whines feeling your tongue graze the vein of his cock. You open your throat as much as you can so you can fully take him and sink down to the base of his cock.
“Fuck- i-im gonna cum if you keep doing that” He grunts feeling your throat open and close around him. His thrusts gets sloppy as he feels himself about to finish. He abruptly stops thrusting and pulls himself out of your throat making you whine.
“As much as id love to make you swallow id much rather breed that pretty pussy” Bucky says wiping the drool off your chin making you nod your head. You quickly get on all fours in front of him and wiggle your ass making him smack it.
“Yes daddy” You moan in delight feeling his metal hand come into contact with your soft skin. Bucky smirks and smacks the other cheek making you moan happily.
“You like that baby?” He coos rubbing the red marks he’s left making you shiver.
“Mhm” You nod backing your ass up against his cock. He takes the sign and slowly eases himself into you before bottoming out.
“So tight” He groans pulling out then thrusting back in. You scream in delight feeling his thick cock stretch you out. You weren’t a virgin in the slightest but Bucky had definitely been the biggest you’d ever taken.
“S-So big daddy” The words come out broken as you feel his tip kiss your g-spot.
“You can take it baby. Take daddy’s cock be a good girl and take it so i can fill you up. Would you like that? Do you want me to breed you and make you a mommy?” He asks wrapping his metal arm around your neck bringing you up to get a new angle.
“OH FUCK YES” You scream at the new angle feeling him in a new way. The thought of Bucky breeding you makes your eyes roll back and your brain go fuzzy. “Please-please fill me up daddy” You bed as his thrusts get harder.
“Oh i will kotenok dont worry” He says squeezing his hand a little around your neck. You never thought in a million years you’d have all your fantasies come true but fuck were you loving it.
“G-Gonna cum daddy… can i cum?” The question is choked out making Bucky smile.
“Yes baby cum for me im right behind you” He said and that’s when the coil in your stomach snapped and you came all over him. Feeling your warm walls clench down on him sent him over the edge, and he wrapped his flesh at around your stomach holding you close as he came. Bucky’s thrusts slowed down as he fucked his cum into you ensuring none would leak out.
“Fuck baby” He groaned in your ear giving you kisses up and down your neck and collarbone. “You did so good kotenok” Bucky praised slowly pulling out but still holding you close. Once he pulled out he laid you against the pillows and settled in between your legs again.
“T-Thank you daddy” You said in a fucked out haze trying to catch your breath. Bucky kisses from your chest down to your thighs and then settles his face in front of your pussy. He spreads your wet folds with his flesh hand before leaving a kiss on your clit.
‘Too sensitive daddy-cant-please-“ You protest trying to close your thighs but failing as he holds them apart.
“Just wanna taste you baby” He whispers giving your thigh a kiss. Not trusting your voice you opt your nodding and letting him do what he wants.
He slowly licks a stipe from your hole to clit making you whimper and cry out. Bucky groans at the way you taste and starts eating you like a man starved. His lips wrap around you clit and starts sucking lightly making you claw at his back.
“Yes yes yes” You chant feeling another orgasm about to rip through you. He picks up the pace and starts sloppily eating your pussy making you feel like never before.
“Gonna cum!” You scream arching your back off his bed and gripping the sheets as you finish on his tongue. Bucky groans in satisfaction and licks you clean before bringing you into a messy kiss.
“So fucking good” He praised after he broke the kiss. You smiled at him and feel back against the pillows in a haze. You felt the bed dip and you saw Bucky walk into the bathroom and grab a wet cloth. He came back to the bed and cleaned you up while telling you how good you did.
“You’re so perfect” He whispered in your ear laying down next to you. You crawled over to him and laid your head on his chest looking up at his pretty blue eyes.
“Not too bad yourself” Bucky laughed at your comment bringing you in for a loving kiss. “I could get used to that” You said with a cheeky grin on your face making him roll his eyes in faux annoyance.
“You better because now youre stuck with me” He said giving you a wink. The thought if being ‘stuck’ with him gave you butterflies and make you melt even more into hin.
“I think id be okay with that” You said pretending to think about it making Bucky laugh. He ran his hand through your hair and admired your beauty. In all of his 106 years on this earth he never thought he felt this way about someone. That was until you.. And he’ll be damned if he ever lets you get away again.
~The end~
I do not give permission for my work to be copied or translated on other cites
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chuuyasheaven · 8 months ago
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RAAAAAAAAH idk if this counts as an ask but this specific scenario has been marinating in my mind for WEEKS and i think you might enjoy it :3c
to put it shortly ive been thinking of hot-headed reader who has trouble containing their temper (im not projecting whar do you mean) x chuuya (established relationship) that goes from angst to smut…. teehee
basically chuuya and reader begin arguing bc i hc that EVEN THOUGH CHUUYA IS EXTREMELY LOYAL AND DOTING TO THE ONES HE CARES ABOUT…. his temper often gets the best of him. Recently, chuuya had been very busy, and reader knew that, and continuously made an effort to help him in whatever ways they could, be it making dinner/lunch for him, offering to help with paperwork, etc. BUT thing is.. chuuya isn't really noticing this and treats them like a nuisance. He hasn't said anything outright insulting or upsetting, but he treats reader so differently, like he's silently blaming reader for his own temper and mood. He doesn't even call them by their nickname/petname anymore, everything feels so distant now.
So in an attempt to yk, NOT give up on their relationship, reader decides to confront chuuya about this in a calm manner, but he blindly lashes out and reader is NOT having ANY of it… cue a petty back and forth between him and reader, and reader gets out of the house to cool off and meanwhile chuuya finally comes to his senses. He tries to reason with reader when they come back, but they end up doing exactly what chuuya did to them, dismissing him and not accepting any form of half-assed apology. and so,,,,,, chuuya tries to make it up to reader,,,, if ikwym :3c
cue chuuya eating out reader like his life depends on it /jjj ((THIS IS SO LONG LMAO IM LITERALLY SOSORRY))
"You're not getting tired of me, are you?" // C. Nakahara
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Summary. Recently, Chuuya has been kinda distant lately, mostly due to his work. This also resulted into you mostly overthinking— what if he isn't at the office all the time just like says? With this thought at the back of your mind, you tried to make an effort to be nice and caring as possible, only for Chuuya to decline the food you make him, denying any help you offer and barely spending time, which made the thoughts even more scary. When you can't take it anymore, you snap, at first he didn't get what your problem was until he thought about your earlier attempts. Now driven with guilt, Chuuya wants to assure you're the most important thing to him and makes up for his actions in the process.
Tags. Chuuya N. / afab! Reader, the summary pretty much already tells the story, angst to smut to fluff maybe, miscommunication, Reader prolly has anxiety, swearing, ooc! Chuuya, suspicions of cheating, Chuuya didn't notice at first but it's okay he'll make it up by licking pussy ^_^, might be cringe, short too idk, Reader might be KINDAAA based off me, petnames (baby, doll, darlin', sweetheart), oral sex (afab! receiving), praising, overstimulation? , p in v, who knows maybe i fucked up the ask and wrote smth else, for the first time ever porn WITH plot, might have a rushed end, might contain grammar errors, etc.
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"Hey, Chuuya, wanna eat? I made your favorite!", you said with a nervous tone painted in your voice, which Chuuya didn't really notice. "No, baby, I can't. Sorry, maybe next time?", he answered without even exchanging looks with you, just doing his paperwork as if it was more important to him. It's been like this for several days already and you did nothing but trying to help Chuuya to make things easier, but he didn't budge. You slowly started to get annoyed and just walked away to eat by yourself, silently.
With all kind of negative thoughts which caused you to overthink. These "thoughts" didn't leave you alone since he's become more distant. What if he's losing interest? What if he's not always late in the office? Am I annoying him and a burden? After you finished eating, you just put his plate into the fridge and sat alone in your living room. Some while later, Chuuya came to see you for a few minutes before returning to work. He tired hugging you but you rejected it. Confused, he looks at you before asking. "What's wrong, doll?", did he seriously just ask you that? After pushing away for the— what? The millionth time for his work? At this innocent question you snapped, well, not really but you were beyond pissed.
When Chuuya told you that he was probably busy for the next days, you understood, at first. Knowing Chuuya, he could make some time for you in between, right? He was your really loyal, sweet and loving boyfriend, caring was he too, of course Chuuya should be able to make atleast a little time. And to his credit, he did, at first. He took breaks in which he spent time with you, cooking your food with you, and also other activities you guys normally do. But with time, Chuuya got more and more work and spent less and less time with you. You also understood at first, and trying to be a good girlfriend, you tried to take some work off his back by doing some paperwork with him, only to deny you. Don't get Chuuya wrong, he appreciated it, but he'd rather do it himself. You understood, leaving him be, but then he started to work late, staying behind in the office. That's when you started to overthink a little. You really didn't want to let you thoughts get to you, Chuuya is loyal and so loving he would never, right? Why was he even staying so late in the first place? Was it because you constantly asked him to help to the point he wanted to work in the office at work? These thoughts would slowly consume you later on, and instead of speaking with Chuuya about it, you kept it to yourself, you didn't want to annoy him anyways. It's been 3 days later and he didn't even say a single word to you, just work, work, work. Were you even Chuuya's top priority at this point? You just let him distance himself, in hope of him noticing your presence. All this did was make the situation worse, to the point where you cried yourself to sleep at night feeling unwanted. Did Chuuya finally notice? No, his head is still drowned in paperwork. "Chuuya, do you have time right now?" — "No. Go do something else, doll, I still have work left." His tone had some harshness to it, a hint of annoyance too. But maybe it was because of the stress because of work. "I could help him maybe.", you told yourself, you don't want him to overwork himself, has he even eaten today? "Well, maybe I could help with the paper—" — "You can't, so please go. I still have a lot left." — "But I could—" — "Just go, I'm busy. I can't really talk with you 'cause you're gonna distract me." What a reason, but you can't let him push you away now, can you? "Chuuya, please, I just wanna help you—" — "Just leave me the hell alone and do something else. Look, I love you for trying, I don't need your help the only this you're doing right now is distracting me." "If you say so." Was all you said before leaving his home office without saying another word.
That was the last time you talked to him during these days, but today, was the day you finally snapped at him for pushing you away all these days. And for what did he push you away? For trying to be nice and take some shit off his back? "What's wrong?! What's wrong is that you pushed me away for— what? A week and a half?!", you explained with anger behind your voice, which Chuuya wasn't familiar with. "Doll, I didn't push you away—", before he could speak you went on. "Stop with the bullshit. Whenever I tried helping with anything you always denied me! I can't do this anymore.", you said with a crack in your voice, now Chuuya slowly got pissed too, was it his fault for having an asshole of a boss?
"Do you think I want to do this? Who in the hell would participate in such work as a fucking joke?!", he said rather louder than you. "Your damn work seems to be more important that me, when was the last time you looked me in my face?", you stood up from the couch. "You wouldn't even know what to do!", "I could've if you took some fucking time to explain!", you shouted back, this is where Chuuya might have lost his temper. "Why the hell should I? You won't even understand when I tell you to leave! I'm sorry if the world doesn't fucking revolve around you, some people have other priorities?!", his voice got angrier and louder.
"Appearently I'm not your first priority, which is what I'm supposed to be?! I just wanted to spend time with you, but if I'm so fucking 'distracting' then I'll leave!", "Oh, so now you can take a damn hint?", he called after you tried to walk away. "What?", you stopped and turned around to face him. "Fuck you, then. I'm done, go do your work which is more important to me! All I was doing was to try—", "I don't give a fuck if you were "trying" shit! Just fucking don't because it won't matter anyway all you're being is annoying and desperate.", Chuuya shouted at you.
"So I'm annoying you now?", you said, your voice going quieter. "Yeah, with the way you were constantly up in my shit. You're not the most important thing right now, just stop trying to stress me more than you already are.", when he said that, you were facing the floor, fighting back the angry tears that were building up. "Alright, go do your work. I'll leave you to it.", you muttered, walking towards your door to take a walk. Chuuya just tsk'ed and went back to his room. It was quiet in the apartment, Chuuya was working on some papers left when he thought about your earlier argument. Wondering why you started it, he thought about what you said and slowly realized that what you said was true. He has gotten more distant, he was a little rude to you about leaving him alone and barely paid you and your attempts to help attention.
Knowing he probably fucked up in those past days, hurting your feelings and calling you 'annoying and desperate' probably caused the biggest guilt he ever experienced. Chuuya tried calling you but you hung up instantly. Okay, reasonable. The second time he called you took you're time to pick up. "Hey, baby—", "What do you want?", you asked coldly. "I thought you wanted to be left alone.", Chuuya could hear the pain in your voice. "Look, darling, you know I didn't mean what I said. It was the stress—", you really didn't wanna hear him right now, especially his excuses. "Sorry, Chuuya but I don't really wanna talk right now, since I'm annoying you anyways, talk to you later.", before getting another word out, you hung up. Chuuya just took deep sigh and thought of ways to apologize and make it up to you.
You first left at 6pm but returned at 8pm, you were a little tired after walking a lot so you looked forward to lay in your shared bed, alone again probably. You changed into Chuuya's shirt just like you have been these last several days for some missing closure, not forgetting your shorts before you sat on the bed to be on your phone. Not even five minutes later, the door creaked open, revealing Chuuya with a guilt driven face. "What?, you asked him once again. "Can we talk, please?", you just stared at him before nodding. He sat down on the bed, patting the space next to him, you moved to the edge of the bed to sit down next to him.
"I'm sorry,", Chuuya started. "I'm sorry for neglecting you these past days, didn't mean to make you feel like a burden.", "So you finally got the hint?", you ask sarcastically. "Baby, I mean it. I shouldn't have priotized my work over you and pushed you away during it. I never wanted to feel unimportant.", he held your hand now, gently caressing it. "The stress made me act this way probably and i shouldn't have lashed out at you. You forgive me?", your gaze was still as cold. Chuuya just pulled you close to him, finally after a week, this made you realize that you missed him more than you thought.
Chuuya stroked your back, kissing your forehead first, then your cheeks, and lastly, your lips— those lips he hasn't kissed for something which felt like an eternity. He just wanted to make it up to you one way or another. "Lay down, dollface, wanna make you feel good.", Chuuya said to you while he was holding your chin. "I haven't fully forgiven you yet, y'know that, right?", looking away while you said this, Chuuya just had to chuckle. "You're gonna when I'm done with you, trust me.", you rolled your eyes and just laid back like he wanted. Chuuya moved himself between your legs, removing the shorts and panties blocking his path and letting your legs hang over his shoulders.
"No need to tense up, pretty, jus' relax,", he whispered, pressing kisses to your thighs, never breaking eye contact. Those kisses started to get closer and closer to your cunt, which was waiting for his tongue. Once his mouth got to it's destination, Chuuya started his work. He ate you out like his life depended on it, but he made sure he won't make a big mess. You where quietly moaning, trying to not be heard by him. "Why so quiet, sweetheart?", he lightly teased, you just looked away again. "C'mon, look at me. I wanna make you feel good, remember that?", you looked back at him, your cheeks were slightly flushed and lust was filled in your eyes. Chuuya dived back in and kept his eye contact with you, looking at you while you try to bite down your moans. This only made him suck on your clit, which also broke your silence.
It didn't take long for you to finish with Chuuya looking at you while pleasuring you. As you came on his tongue, still breathing unsteady, Chuuya got up between your legs. "You're so perfect like this, darlin'.", he whispered before kissing you, you could loosely taste yourself on his tongue. While he was kissing you, he freed his cock out of his pants. Chuuya stopped kissing you for a second to insert his dick inside you. He stroked your folds with his tip to catch some slick and entered almost easily, as if your cunt was sucking him in. "Fuck, I forgot how good you felt around me. Forgive me for neglecting this perfect— oh, fuck!", he cut himself off by starting to thrust.
If you weren't loud earlier, you definitely were now. Chuuya was kissing you while being inside you, thrusting while his lips were on yours, whispering "I love you"s and apologies to you. "You're so good for me, fuck— I love you so much.", his thrusts got sloppier, meaning he was close. Your arms were thrown around his neck as you threw your head back, you could feel your upcoming orgasm. "Chuuya— shit, 'm so close, please don't stop!", "Wasn't planning on it, you feel way too good for that, baby.", as your cunt clenched down around him, he surprisingly moaned, instantly cumming inside you. He thrusted once more and that's when you came undone a second time.
"So. . did you change your mind, doll?"
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@moth-of-mythos // @pretendtobesick04 // @alastors-deerest // @shi-nakano // @samutoru // @munnaitorei // @sjsnsidream // @shuwyyx // @skelitea // @xaviawinter // @cvidy // @cherrytreegrove // @skk-lover // @pe4rl-diver // @walking-simp
Sorry if ur tag didn't work 😕 also sorry if I fucked the storyline up
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fashionteahouse · 1 month ago
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out of your league - paul x reader
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AN: There’s not enough words to thank all of you for the love and support for the first seven parts of this story! 💜 i heart you all xoxo
You didn’t care too much about graduation. Leaving the ceremony with your certificate was something you looked forward to. That’s when you felt like your real life would begin. The previous night was rough. Sam suspected a new threat, hearing a long screech. It even woke you out of your slumber with Paul grabbing your face, covering it with kisses and rushing out. In the morning, Paul was still gone. You were glad to see Kim but you weren’t too sure if the feeling was mutual. She still invited you to her graduation dinner.
It was intimate with peers that you and Kim both hung around with, who were in attendance. You still chose the seat next to her but it seemed like she talked to everyone else but you. You choose to pay it no mind. You already know majority of what she’s going through. You decide to text her.
“Are you okay?”
Her phone buzzes but she chooses to ignite up a conversation with the person next to her. You tried to rack your brain of what could be the possible reason she would not talk to you.
After another hour of lounging in her sitting room talking, one person gets up and says, “Im going to go change.” and two people stand up and walk too.
“Hm..” you say out loud. Kim looks over to you. You don’t even say anything and as you’re walking outside, disappointed and upset at the betrayal, Kim calls out to you.
“It’s not what you think.”
“You’re full of shit, Kim.”
“If I would’ve asked then we would’ve had to wait for Paul’s permission just to stay the night.” she says and you walk towards her.
“Kim. Don’t take your mood or whatever problems you have out on me. You didn’t even want to talk to me.”
“I feel like I barely see you anymore. Why can’t it be like how it used to be when we actually would have fun?”
“I’m trying my best Kim. My life is not set up for fun right now.” You try to tell her but she shakes her head as she looks at you.
“Right. Your life is set up for Paul, Y/N.”
“Whatever, Kim.” you say and turn to walk away.
“Rushing to see a boy who didn’t even show up to his imprint’s graduation.” she states.
You whip around, “You’re just jealous. You know nothing. How would you like it if I made remarks about Jared not wanting you?”
“I give up. Seriously. You’re clearly suffering from tunnel vision….You know what? I’m just going to focus on me.” she says projecting her voice. It sung. She was giving up on the friendship that you thought was strong.
“Good for you.” you tell her and choose to not look back.
You felt a type of way, feeling that what she did was unfair to you. She didn’t give you the option to make an opinion. You were going to sit at the beach since it was the perfect weather, but a small celebration seemed to be going on. You stand there for a bit, but you see a very tall cliff.
You walk your way through the woods, thick with leaves, dirt, and fallen branches. Tress began to disappear your figure from civilization. A faint whoosh makes you look up to see nothing. You look to the sides and turn around but still don’t see anything. You focus back onto route, fully convinced that it was just the wind.
A snap of a branch is heard above you. You snap your eyes to a tree above you that was in front of you. You see a person. Or something that looks very close to a person. You just remembered the pale skin, as it moved closer, you’ll never forget the dazzle in their eyes. You couldn’t help but look with your feet stuck to the earth and also wonder how they climbed so high up without you hearing a peep from them. Taking a good look at you, you noticed the amber coloring of their eyes and they take a deep sniff. They then crouch and lean forward in a fluid motion, reminding you of a lion who is after its prey.
Suddenly, you feel a force, you didn’t process yourself in the air until you fell into a pile of leaves. You raise your hands and large scrapes on your hands and inner arm making an appearance. Dirty blood trickles and it burns as you grimace. You hear snarling and growling and almost have a heart attack watching arms fly off into the air and almost scream seeing a torn off leg.
The fur, let you know that it had to be Sam and the others. You get up from your position and try to stand but your knee burns. You look down to also see another scrape. As the skin folds as you try to walk on it, a burning sensation makes you hiss. You also feel the throb on your hands and arm. A very human naked version of Paul comes into view. You couldn’t help that your eyes looked to his slinging body part in between his legs and you squeeze your eyes shut.
Two large hot hands grip your upper arms, feel all over your body, and lifts your chin. You slowly open your eyes. You suddenly smell the scent of smoke and fire, it smelled like something was cooking. You saw bluish faint flames erupt and you were in shock.
“Y/N.” he says and pulls you to him but you step back, his skin rubbing on the part that burns. He looks with a focused expression, his eyes meeting where you hurt. Without warning, he carries you back bridal style and he walks in long strides back to Emily’s house. He doesn’t let go of you when he takes you into the bathroom. Turning on the water, and shoving the door closed, he attacks your clothes first.
“Wait-“
“I have to clean you up. Plus, I want to get this vampire smell off of me.” he says as he carefully makes you bare before him.
He was gentle to bandage you and he was silent. Taking it all in as you sat watching him bandage your knee with his bedroom light shining. You just kept thinking about how enchanting the cold one looked. Besides the unnatural characteristics that it displayed, they looked like a perfect human being. You were staring off into space. You didn’t notice until you feel a nudge. You look down as Paul was on his knees with your finished bandages.
“Are you alright?” he asks. You nod, not letting him see you sweat and pull a weak smile. He’s not convinced. His eyebrows furrow.
“I’ve been calling you and you just went blank.” he explains and now it was your turn to furrow your eyebrows. He gets up and sit next to you on the bed as you stare at the floor.
“What were you doing out there anyway? You never went that way before.” he asks facing you. You just shrug.
“You know.” he says, not buying it. You didn’t want to talk about it. It made everything seem too real. If you said it out loud, it wouldn’t just be a dream.
“I…I just wanted to sit at the cliffs.” you say.
“If I came one second later, you would’ve been…” he mutters, looking stressed out as he looks ahead.
You take your hand and rub his back in big slow circles. “Thankfully that didn’t happen.” you try to reassure him. You tried your best to forget that it happened.
The next day, he made sure to re clean the scrapes and also used ointment to decrease your chances of scars.
Eating lunch, you tuned out the conversation as Sam debriefs Emily on everything. You couldn’t take the looks of empathy from her. You were fine.
You couldn’t sleep. You stared awake at the ceiling and Paul was checking the perimeter with Jared before coming in for the night. You kept looking at window, afraid that a cold one might burst through it at any given second.
You sit on the floor and just decide to doodle to past the slow time, hoping it makes you tired. You didn’t notice your surrounds and didn’t notice until Paul’s voice makes you jump. You turn around to see him towering over you.
“You’re still awake?” he asks and you nod. He eyes the window, which makes you follow his eyes and it’s daylight. You’re confused until you look down at your pad and realize that you captured the visualization of your near death experience. You quickly shut it and Paul is still staring at you.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks. You shake your head, “I just need to sleep right now.” You climb into bed and this time you don’t face him. He’s worried.
You come out later in the day to see him lounging on a loveseat in Emily’s sitting room, watching a show. The show is soon forgotten when you enter, he keeps his eyes on you as you walk closer to him. He pulls and sits you on his lap. He looks at you for a minute as you see what show he’s exactly watching. You still feel his eyes on you and this makes you chuckle a bit, “What?”
He doesn’t match your playful energy. “You know you can talk to me.”
“Yeah. I know.” you say and nod your head and squeeze his knee, letting him know you understand.
At night, you kept staring at the ceiling. No matter how late, no matter how much you did in a day, you weren’t settled. You only waited for daylight. It kind of reminded you of the times you sneakily watched scary movies as a kid.
The eyes under your bags were more and more noticeable. At breakfast, Sam ordered Paul and Jared to patrol the area as he stays back. They ask why, Sam never missed patrol. Not even for Emily.
“Just do what I say.” he says authoritatively.
It’s just you and Sam left at the table, Emily is running errands for the day.
“What’s going on, Y/N?” he asks patiently.
“Nothing?” you say, trying to sound confused. You soon realize Sam’s alpha nature.
“You haven’t been sleeping. It’s all in your face. You jump at loud noises now. You haven’t really talked about what happened at the cliffs.” he says. You just sit there. Hearing what he’s saying, “You should talk to someone so you don’t have to make yourself forget.”
“I..Don’t have anything to say about what happened.” you tell him, leaning back in your chair and pulling your lip into your mouth.
“You can ask questions. You can open up. I’m not all mean and scary.” he says to lift your spirits.
“I know,” you say as you crack a smile, “I just wish…never mind.” you shake your head.
“No, go on. What were you about to say?” he says, encouraging you on. You sigh and look down.
“Is it bad that.. I don’t think I can get used to this supernatural world.” you say honestly. You felt guilty but also relieved that you no longer have to hold it in anymore. Sam just nods in a non judging manner. You feel more comfortable to let your feelings out.
“I really like Paul a lot but I miss when things were more normal. I miss when this was just in the unknown. I want to be there for him, but I just don’t know what to do. I feel like I lost my grip on control. A grip on my life.” you say and Sam strokes his chin in thought.
“Have you talked to him about this?” he says and your heart thuds a bit. You shake your head.
“I can’t. He will take it the wrong way. I might slip up and say the wrong thing.” you say with your eye contact focusing on the hands in front of you.
“I doubt it. Just tell him how you feel.” he says. Moments of silence pass comfortably and the hustle and bustle of both Jared and Paul is heard. You look down and Paul leans down and kiss your neck. You give him a weak smile.
Sam is talking with Jared but he gives you a look. You muster up a squeeze of confidence and ask Paul to take a walk with you.
You’re automatically clutching his arm, walking side by side with him.
“Are you alright?” he asks as he looks at the sky.
You were going to say yes but you chose other words instead. “I don’t know, to be honest.”
He turns his head to look at you, “What don’t you know?”
You hesitantly answered, “I don’t think…I mean, I don’t know..” you sigh and try again, “I just miss my normal way of life, I guess.” you say.
“Me too.” he mutters.
“I don’t know if I can get used to it.” you say as the footsteps start to halt.
“It’s pretty trippy, I’ll give you that.”
“What happens if I…” you look at the trees trailing off.
“What?” Paul asks as he looks into the distance.
“So, as long as I’m an imprint or apart of the pack, cold ones will come after me?” you ask. His eyes flicker to yours, “As long as you’re human.”
“What happens if you what?” he says, not forgetting what you were about to say. His gaze is intense, intimidating you.
You wring your fingers, “Um.. spend some time away from La Push.” you say in a small voice. He flickers his eyes away, slightly shaking his head. Looking down, he clenched his fists, now stepping on an insect.
“I don’t want you to think I’m trying to leave you.” you tell him but he glared at you.
“Leaving La Push is leaving me. I’m stuck here, Y/N.”
You couldn’t meet his eyes anymore. You then choose to fold your arms and pay attention to the bird that’s on your focus.
He chuckles at bitter laugh, “Was that what you were talking with Sam about?”
“He was just checking up on me. I just..Let out how I feel. I can’t help how I feel. I think you should be more patient with that.”
He narrows his eyes at you, “You should take your own advice.”
You throw your arms up slightly, “I almost died.”
“Every time I shift, death is a possibility.” he says deadpanned.
“I can’t sleep. I’m always scared. I can’t take it anymore.” you say and you didn’t mean to crumble your face, but you let it out on your hands. Pulling your hands from your face, he lets you cry it out on his chest.
“If I could leave, believe me, I would.” he says softly as he rubs your back.
After you wipe your face with your hands and with the help of his thumbs, you both turn back to the house.
He rattles the box of chess and you join him on the bed. He sets up his pieces, with you being in charge of the white team this time. He waits for you to go first. There was silence throughout the entire game. You secretly liked the silence. It let you to just be. You didn’t know what your future entailed anymore. This moment though, you felt you had control. Moving the pieces around the board in your favor.
You were very close to winning, but Paul wasn’t letting that happen. He cackles with satisfaction as you toss a pillow at him. Thanking him for the reason of your uplifted mood.
Sam comes in and urgency needs Paul outside. They have to watch out for a predicted shifter. Billy Black’s son. You heard of him, heard of the respect that Billy Black carried and began to understand. He strips, hands you his clothes with a passionate kiss and shifts into the woods.
You sit at the table with Emily as she drinks tea.
“It’s such a shame more young boys have to face this destiny.” she says. You nod and rest your face on your hands.
”What triggers it?”
“Cold ones in the area. It activates the bloodline to protect.” She simply explains and takes a careful sip.
You choose to look out of the window.
As days and weeks pass by as they monitor the young boy, you see some sort of lightness in that time frame. You had your assignment submitted, the editor in chief called and wanted to hook you up with showcasing your art to a well known gallery. The only problem, it was out of town. You needed to think on that.
Paul let you know he gets the keys to his new place next week.
“I’m so happy for you. Do you feel good?” you say with a beaming smile.
He showcases a smile that makes your heart melt instantly and nods, “It can finally just be us.”
Kim reached out and apologized. “You’re like a sister to me. I was so out of line.”
“It’s okay. Shit is crazy right now anyways.” you say and chuckle to yourself. You invite her over.
As the boys are away from patrol, you both help Emily with dinner. Sensing Paul coming in soon, your heart speeds up a bit. Sam comes through the door and kissed Emily senseless. Paul came in and cupped your cheeks and crushed his lips on you.
Kim and Jared just sat the table looking at each other. You move to the side and also sit at the table.
“It’s nice to have you over, Kim.” Sam says as he digs into his food.
“Its nice to be here.” Kim says quietly.
Forks scraping fills in the silence. It was painfully awkward. Jared just steals glances at Kim here and there.
“I have to go out of town for a couple of days.” You announce because the silence was too much.
“What for?” Paul asks.
You explain the opportunity that was presented to you.
“I love that for you.” Kim says smiling.
“I bet you do.” Paul says to her coldly.
“Paul.” Emily says to him with seriousness.
“Whats the problem?” You ask.
“We’ll talk later.” he says and gets up to put his plate away.
“Don’t let him talk you out of it.” Kim says. Your eyes grow big at her when she makes the statement. Paul clatters the plate down in the sink loud.
“You need to mind your fucking business.” he growls out.
“Paul just chill out man.” Jared says trying his best to be a mediator.
“I don’t even know why she’s here!” he says, and looks dead at her, “We all know your own imprint does not want you.”
You face palm as gasps surround the room and Jared just looks down. Kim’s face goes blank.
“Paul, outside.” Sam orders him and follows him out.
“I’m sorry about that Kim.” You go on to say. She shakes her head, “I thought we were going somewhere. You really don’t want me?”
Jared walks to her, “It’s not that I don’t want you, Kim..I feel like you don’t open up with me. I like to have fun and make people laugh. I’m not going to lie but…how should I say this?” He trails off.
“Kim, you don’t show him your real personality.” you say to her. Jared gives you a thank you with his eyes. Kim looks down, “I’m just nervous around you, that’s all.” Jared looks at her as if he understands, “You can be yourself with me, Kim.”
Just then, Sam and Paul comes back in. Paul’s face is softened up but you know that he’s still feeling a bit bitter. Sam jerks his head in Kim’s direction.
Paul didn’t want to. He looks at her so dirty that it made you feel bad for her. “Sorry.” he mutters barely audible without looking at her and storms off into his bedroom and slams the door. Sam sighs tiredly and looks to the ceiling.
“I can take you home.” Jared says and Kim smiles excitedly at that.
“Now, what was that?” You ask Paul as you move into the room, looking at him stare at a spot on the wall.
He shakes his head and scoffs.
“What?” you say and nudge his shoulder.
He scrunched his face, “Nothing. I’m going to bed. Sam is probably going to make us get up before the sun comes up.” he then turns over to go to sleep.
You shake his shoulder slightly, “Paul come on. You’re being overdramatic and you were rude.”
“I was not. I don’t just go off on people for no reason.”
“Okay, so what’s the reason.” you ask, having a feeling it’s some lame excuse. Silence sets in for a minute as you try to stay patient.
“You won’t believe me anyway.” he says quietly.
“Paul just say it.” you say, starting to get agitated.
“If this cause chaos, just know it was you who asked for it.” he says and grabs his phone. You watch him the entire time as he scrolls for some time. Before he hands you the phone, he faces it towards his chest, and he looks at you with seriousness.
“Remember when you told me Kim’s cousin had a party in Neah Bay?”
You nod, not knowing where this is going.
He hands you the phone and you hesitantly take it, eyeing him confused. “Read it.” he says. They’re obviously screenshots.
“I’m bringing my friend. She’s into art too.”
“What does she look like ?”
*picture attachment* “Her name is Y/N.”
“Damn she’s cute. She’s single right?”
“Shes not but if you talk to her good, she will be down with you.”
“Idk about that lol i’m not trying to get into ANY fights over a girl”
“You’re all the way in Neah Bay. The guy she’s with will only just drag her into his lowlife lifestyle. You saw how talented she is”
“Yeah but I don’t know if I should trust that”
“Just at least give her an idea to leave him”
”Thats crazyyy lmaoo” “No trust me. She wants to leave La Push to pursue her art seriously but he’s trapping her there. I just want her to hurry up and save herself before she gets knocked up by him :/ ”
The messages end and you look at his furious eyes.
“Who is this?” you say, “Who is she texting?” Refusing to believe.
“My cousin. He’s from there and was going to that same party. He sent that to me. Okay, look.” He takes the phone out of your grasp, scrolls some more. Then hands it back to you. It’s between Paul and his cousin now.
“Want to see what she looks like?”
“She’s probably ugly”
“Shut up” *picture attachment*
“Are you trying to be funny”
“? ? No”
“Fuck you”
“What? I’m serious. Her friend is just trying to hooking us up. Why are you mad? Do you know her or something ?”
“You’re dumb as hell. That’s MY gf “What’s her friend’s name?”
“Kim.” *screenshot attachment*
You look up and he’s giving you a “I told you so” look.
You look to the wall and you have nothing to say.
“And that’s your “friend” right?” he says to you.
You get up, feeling overwhelmed and grab your valuable items that you brought.
“Where are you going?” he asks.
You go to him, kiss him to let him know you’re not mad at him. You pull back and open his bedroom door, “I need to go home.”
He follows you out, calling for you to come back. You’re ignoring him while walking and he catches up to you and grabs your arm but you shrug it off hard, feeling irritated.
“Just leave me alone. Like, I’m serious. I need to be by myself right now or else I’ll be shitty to you so please…” you say and you continue walking.
Nothing was seemed as what it seemed. Fuming, you make your way back to your house. Paul called but you didn’t answer. You just text him.
“Let me think.”
He texts back like lightening, immediately reading your message.
“You’ll think yourself into a conniption”
You roll your eyes and place your phone some place where you can’t reach with it arm length. You grab your headphones and turn on some music. You just wanted a time in your life where you wasn’t so surprised that it was life altering. You lie there as music pumps through your ears, leaking into your head, thinking about why couldn’t your life be simple?
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datesinredink · 4 months ago
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could you possibly write headcanons you have of how the rise yanderes would like psychologically manipulate/punish their darling? i’m all for physical violence but what do they do to mess their darling up in the head?
ty very much for reading this if you do :)
THANK YOU SO MUCH RAGHHHHHH!!!!! Since this is such a fun question to answer im gonna order these from most to least awful. The ranking is just my opinion and i would LOVE to see what other people think jhwhnwiurfj i decided to chug a soda to write this and i think that was a great decision because i immediately came up with smth for donnie because of it.
I decided to search up some ACTUAL psychological torture methods that have been/are used in real life and let normal manipulation take more of a backseat so that this didn’t end up too repetitive- honestly would recommend researching it, it’s a fun topic.
Trigger warnings: Very unfun use of technology in your arm, Drugging, More drugging, Even more drugging, Withholding of food/water (+ a more mild example of doing so but it still happens), Mild descriptions of gore, Mentions of blood, general yandere stuff like kidnapping, and likely others- please ask me to tag anything else triggering, because unfortunately I am not perfect.
1- Donnie.
This might be surprising to some of you. Yes, Leo is the manipulator- he’s the face man, the people guy, but I think that in terms of sheer awfulness- Donnie is going to win here simply because of the potential with his tech.
He’s a genius with access to mystic powers who has incredible skill with both designing and creating various machines and gadgets. I think that he’d be very creative, just considering how much he thought to fit into just his bō staff.
My first thought was that he could come up with a small device (which might be able to double as a tracker) to embed under your skin that could move around. It would skitter up and down your arm like a beetle (likely your dominant arm, just to be worse) and be a nice cherry on top of anything else he could come up with.
To pair with that, he could force some type of hallucinogenic drug down your throat- after some googling, LSD would be a likely candidate. While apparently it usually only causes “pseudo-hallucinations” (where you know that they aren’t real, whereas true hallucinations would be where you think they are), true hallucinations can happen, and the pseudo-hallucinations combined with the environment alone would be enough to cause a panic attack. Not even to mention the kind of drugs that the mystic city might have. (edit: i just found out about datura??? GODDAMN THAT’S A STRONG DRUG.)
Also, I think that Donnie would actually take decent care of you prior to any sort of escape attempt or broken rule. He’d hate for you to waste away in a dark room for the rest of your now shared life, so he would take you outside to some private space for a set amount of time everyday while you’re chained to him and probably gagged so you don’t call for help- you need time in the sun and exercise, after all. That’s why I think he’d also stop doing that if you broke a rule. You don’t want to be anywhere near him, and he supposes that he’s fine with that- but if you really don’t want anything to do with Donnie anymore, then you’ll just have to deal with losing all the luxuries that came with him being so caring.
He’ll lower the temperature in your room and take the hoodie that he so graciously gave you and waltz on out. He still brings you food and water, but now it’s less frequent and more random since now he’s prioritizing his brilliant inventions. Sorry dear, but weren’t you the one who begged him to leave you alone? Now he is. What’s the problem?
2- Leo.
Even if you haven’t done anything wrong (yet), being kept in his room would probably be a nightmare. I feel in my adhd soul that he would NOT be good at keeping it clean. It’d be living in a constant mess, and as someone who has lived in a perpetually messy house, it will definitely take a toll on your mental health. Not to mention the additional noise from whatever he and his brothers are doing. You wouldn’t be allowed outside of it either, not for a while at least, so you’d never know what day or time it is.
Other than the already constant sensory of his room, I think that Leo would mainly use threats- of which he goes through with. Not against you, though, but against your family, (what’s left of) your friends, and any other loved ones you might have. He’ll drag their unconscious body into whatever room he’s keeping you in, and wait with you for them to wake up.
While you two are waiting, he’ll lay out everything he’s planning to do to them in awful detail- and lucky you, he even left out some things as a nice surprise!
You’ll be tied to a chair and forced to watch as their guts fall to the ground from the clean slice in their now empty abdomen while Leo picks up and talks about their functions one by one. You silently wish that you never told him that you admired his skills as the team medic.
When he’s finally done rambling about the various viscera laying on the cold floor, he’ll force you to help him clean up- “so that Raph doesn’t get mad about the mess”, as he says. He’ll hold you in his arms when the two of you are done, whispering in your ear about how sorry he is that he had to do that, but you really did force his hand, and you know that, right? If only you had listened…
When the list of people you can bring yourself to care about finally has 0 names, Leo starts to instead take things away from you. He starts small, gradually taking and taking like the parasite you’ve learned he is until all you have left are the clothes you wear and him. He’ll even deprive you of food and water for periods of time, and you can no longer tell if you wish he would shut up for once or if you’re grateful for at least anything to distract you from the constant pain in your empty stomach.
Mikey and Raph landed themselves towards the bottom because I think that they’re both more lenient with punishments (Raph would be afraid of hurting you beyond repair physically OR mentally and Mikey has generally been shown to be very patient and forgiving with people he cares about), but I also think that they might be more exhausting to be stuck with GENERALLY, wearing you down slowly in day-to-day life rather than harsh punishments for breaking whatever rules might be in place for you.
3- Raph.
Raph would try to instill learned helplessness into his darling, to make them understand why he always has to be so careful!
It’ll happen the next morning after a particularly bad argument between you two, and when he’s suddenly letting you handle sharp objects again- but oh no! For some reason you feel so sluggish and dizzy today that you messed up and sliced open your arm. It’s ok- Raph’s here for you! He’ll either patch up your arm himself or take you to Leo, and after it’s taken care of he’ll scold you and say that it’s fine, maybe he’ll give you another chance next week. And he keeps his word- once again, you’re allowed to try your hand at chopping some veggies with him or Mikey- and again, you feel dizzy and accidentally cut yourself.
This will happen many more times- or not, if you give in easily enough- at least until Raph finally decides that he just can’t keep doing this. He brought you to the lair to keep you away from harm, and despite it being to teach you a lesson, he just can’t bear to watch blood drip down your pretty skin.
So instead, he further seals you away- locking you in his room and wrapping one of his hoodies around your head. He’ll keep you like this until you finally learn.
He won’t starve you, at least. He’d hate to watch you waste away after everything, so you’ll be fine physically, but it’ll be hell to not be able to see or properly hear anything. It’ll also be more difficult to breathe properly through the fabric, so I wish you luck with that.
He’s infuriatingly nice throughout the whole thing. Of course he’s angry when you argue with him- when you hurl insults and and completely unfounded whining (yeah right) at him. Sometimes he hurriedly leaves the room so he doesn’t do anything he regrets- but when he comes back- despite your wishes that he wouldn’t- he just wraps that damned hoodie around your skull and chides you for your hostility, leaving you to wonder if this could really be better than death.
You feel insane rambling to his plushies, of which you now know the individual names of, but it’s an admittedly nice bit of company to have when your only other option is Raph. Honestly, you’d rather deal with Ms Cuddles by this point, and she even managed to wring a scream out of Donnie.
At least it’s something you can actually have even an ounce of fun doing that he won’t take away for being “too dangerous”. As long as you can tolerate his absolutely smitten behavior when he finds you talking to them.
Be careful about how loudly you complain, though- it might just land you being completely swaddled in blankets and left to go insane on his bed.
4-  Mikey.
I think that if you were to try and escape from Mikey, he’d conclude that his love simply needs to spend more time with him! Maybe if he shows them how wonderful life is with him, they’ll stop trying to run away!
Unfortunately, I doubt his sleep schedule is very consistent. He keeps you up late at night to try out new spraypaints, recipes, games, anything he can find to do with you will be done. You hardly get the chance to sleep well, and the peace you get in dreams is frequently interrupted.
When he does take a break, he insists on sleeping in the same bed, and it’s much harder to fall asleep with him staring holes into you, as though he were trying to memorize every single detail.
It takes a damn long time to get Mikey to knock it off, too. You have to guess that stubbornness runs in the family, if his brothers are anything to go by. Unfortunately, said brothers’ coddling of their youngest has resulted in quite the persistent guy, and you’re quickly losing the energy to refute him. You wonder how long you’ll need to sleep for the giant spider in the corner of your vision to go away.
When the box turtle finally does realize how much of a toll his shenanigans have taken on poor you, he decides that as the person responsible for you, it’s his job to make sure that you get plenty of rest- and if you refuse, Dr Delicate Touch and Dr Feelings are always here to make sure you’re convinced!
He does a sort of 180- where he once forced you to do everything, he now forces you to do nothing at all, even when your mind screams at you to get up and move. He’ll slip something he stole from the pharmacy into your food and carry your sleeping figure back to his room for your seemingly infinite nap.
In between consciousness, you’ve learned to just stay in bed, maybe draw or write something related to all the adventures you go on in dreamworld.
Fun fact, over sleeping has a couple negative side effects- it increases the risk of diabetes, obesity, headaches, back pain, depression (like you don’t have that already, being kidnapped and all), and heart disease! I wish you the best of luck.
When he finally believes your rest to be sufficient, everything will go back to normal. Except, of course, the lingering paranoia of when it’ll happen all over again will continue to haunt you.
Who knows, maybe he’ll continue drugging you just to keep you a little more complacent. Can’t have you running away all the time, right?
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kittykattropicanna · 10 months ago
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it's 2 am and i should sleep but i just read your prison penpal!ghost now it's rotting my brain!!!! ><
reader would so try to send him gifts if they're allowed. special holidays aren't miserable for him anymore as he would be accompanied by reader's sweet little presents!!!
Sleeps for the weak baby, sleep when you’re dead ;)
Of course you're going to look after your man, he does so much for you, the least you can do is send him some money to treat himself!!! maybe a gift or two you dirty girl :3
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I know I promised to upload this last night after work but I was sleepy. IM SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME
TW: edging, Si fucks himself with your dirty panties, smut, masterbation (Reader and Simon) its just fucking disgusting and dirty, but also kinda sweet <3
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Absolutely, holy shit. After your first phone call, you’re his, he makes that so unbelievably clear through his next letters. :)))
Telling you how much he craves you, how you’re the only thing on his mind, describing in intimate detail how his gonna touch you, kiss you, fuck you :((((
His so fucking desperate for you, to the point he actually gets enraged knowing he can’t touch you. Just the thought of you being on the other side of the wall makes his skin crawl, you’re right there, only thick cement dividing him from you :(( 
Its even worse knowing that he can’t do anything about it >:(
Si’s a problem solver, he prides himself on being able to weasel his way out of practically any situation without a problem, if that’s  reducing his sentence down to basically nothing or getting away with his little late night phone calls with you. He always finds a way to make it work, but for the first time ever, he can’t fix this, his stuck here. No exceptions, no sweet talking to get what he wants, no amount of calculated manipulation could get him out of this situation, and it makes him go absolutely mad. 
At this point he has a year left of his sentence, his so fucking close to being let back into society, so close to finally being with you :(((
Letting his emotions (and dick) cloud his judgment, driving him to think about making stupid decisions such as an attempted jail break would be absolutely the worst idea of his entire life.
Ohhhhh, but its so tempting :(
But it would just put more time between you and him, as much as he wanted you now, he knew it was only going to rip him away from you again in the long run :/
And that’s if his even successful, one night with you would mean the world to him, but it wasn't worth being thrown back in jail, only separating the two of you for longer :(
He just needed to sit tight, let the days roll on and try not to think about your soft moans through the shitty speaker of the prison phone. :(((
He absolutely asked you to be official after speaking to you for the first time. It drives him crazy knowing when guys try and hit on you at the bar, you smile brightly and tell them that you're his, his to keep. 
One of the guards asked him what’s the first thing his going to do when he gets out, with a dopey smile he chuckles a little
“See ma’ missus mate” his so fucking cute, his actually so obsessed with you, so proud that you’re his ;))))
Of course the other inmates wouldn’t know, and technically he most definitely shouldn’t of told a guard, news spreads, but he couldn’t help it, it slipped out, and you know what, he was fucking proud of it :)))
You 100% would send him money and gifts, Si makes a little money, about £35 a week either cleaning, laundry duties, basic maintenance, basically anything the job program can offer him. 
The only issue being when he first signed up, he made sure that all his money was payed into Price’s bank account. He didn’t want to risk using it, the whole reason he started the work program was because he wanted to try and set himself up once he got out, at least have some type of savings waiting for him on the other side. Every now and then he regrets it, but he knows its for the best :/
Learning that Si was so strict with his money that he didn’t treat himself to anything didn’t sit well with you….and its not like you’re struggling financially, you work a good job and your daddy is always willing to send money if you ever needed it!!!!
A hundred odd pounds a month isn’t going to leave any sort of dint in your bank account, so of course your going to send Si some money to treat himself!!! You’re such a sweet, sweet girl :(((, his sweet, sweet girl. 
You start sending the maximum amount each month which comes out to about £150, its the least you can do!! His your boyfriend! he might be a felon, a little perverted and rough around the edges, but to you, his perfect :)))
His so grateful as well :(( treating himself to snacks :((( chocolate bars, skittles and gummy’s, buying himself a book or two, replacing his flat, stained pillow and ratted blankets, getting himself some actually nice soap and a new toothbrush, buying clothes that actually fit him!! 
His muscles have grown so much since being locked up :3 there’s nothing else to do besides lift weights, work and sit around :((((
“Sweetheart, I want ya’ to know, the second I get out of here, imma treat you real nice, give ya’ everything I can, look after ya’, protect ya’”
and
“The minute I get ya’ home, its all about you, yeah? Imma lay ya’ down and eat ya’ like a starved man, overstimulate that little cunt till ya’ beggin’ me to stop, fuck ya’ so deep and hard that you’ll forget ya’ fuckin’ name, whatever ya’ want darlin’ its all yours, been lookin’ after me so well….. imma show ya’ how much I appreciate it, as ya’ can probably tell, i’m more a man of action, poetry an’t ma style baby ;)”
Definitely learns origami from other inmates, makes little paper swans and hearts for you, the paper always being a little stained from his dirty fingers, obvious crease marks showing his folded it the wrong way and had to reattempt :))))
God he knows how to treat a women :33333
But what I really want to get into are the gifts you send him…..;)
As I established in my last fics about you sending things to Si, you absolutely send him innocent gifts. 
Photos, one of your favourite gold necklaces, an oversized tee that smells like your perfume…. Cute little personal things so he can have a piece of you, nothing crazy :3
I feel like you were reading a spicy romance book. It mentioned the main character stealing his lovers used panties out of her dirty laundry basket, very quickly and idea clicked in your brain :((((
You wanted it to be a surprise for him :(((( you didn’t mention it to him in your letters, only telling him your working on a little something that’s crafted just for him ;))
Waking up in the morning you make sure to fuck yourself with your fingers :(( 
Covering your panties with your juices, making sure their absolutely soaked in your cum :((
Rubbing your thighs together while you’re at work, soaking through your panties with your arousal :((( thinking about Si eating your pussy just like he promised while in important meetings, loosing focus…. your boss pulling you aside and asking if you’re okay :(( 
Scrambling to find an answer to explain your distracted behaviour and flushed cheeks >:(
He ends up sending you home because you’re distracting everyone with your aloofness :(( putting the rest of your team behind because you're a selfish girl with a dirty mind >:( can’t even focus in your workplace because Si’s dirty words have taken over every aspect of your thoughts >:(
At the end of the day your panties are ruined with your slick, soaked  all the way through and smelling of your orgasm just like you planned ;))
And when Si received your thong obviously used??? :000000 he let out a low grunt....
Just the idea that you did this for him, fully confirming in his mind that you wanted him, craved him just as much as he craved you made something animalistic set off in his mind….
Because he received your package in the middle of the day, he couldn’t hide and tend to himself like normal >:((((((
He needed you now, he needed to fuck his cock NOW, not wait till his cell mates were asleep, his heavy balls ached and he knew if he didn’t relieve himself soon, his blue balls would become unbearable >:(((( aching and hurting with each step, uncomfortable and frustrated :(
Purposely being a dick and coursing havoc with his inmates so he can be locked up for his disruptive and disrespectful behaviour ;)))))
A shit eating grin when his in handcuffs being walked to his cell, knowing your panties are tucked into his boxers ;))))) his won yet again ;)
Like I’ve said before, and I’ll say it again, he ALWAYS gets what he wants :)))
The second his cell locks his ripping his hard, leaky cock out and wrapping your used panties around himself :((((
Pumping his fat dick, the friction of the fabric making it that much more satisfying :((((
Closing his eyes and imagining you walking around all day, turned on and flustered for him >:((((( the idea of you restricting yourself from fucking other men because you're his, knowing all you want is to be filled with dick, have the feeling of a real cock fucking you, not your cold, rubber dildo >:(
His precum mixing with your juices only turns him on more, knowing that this is the closest he’ll get to fucking your cunt for now :(( 
As his big hands slowly pump his dick, wanting to savour the moment, he lets out animalistic grunts, slowly speeding up and then slowing his pace, he edges himself almost whimpering when he refrains from his release yet again :(((
Something about holding back satisfies him, his training himself for you, getting ready for when he fucks you for the first time, wanting to hold out long enough that he can rip orgasm after orgasm out of you, forming a white rim of your cum around the base of his cock :(((
Grunted whispers of your name falling from his lips as he tries to hold back yet again, legs twitching and face getting hot as uncontrollable ropes of cum finally release from his vainy cock :(((
His never cum that much in his life, your panties damp with his semen, dick so sensitive that even the feeling of the fabric from his boxes makes him flinch >:(((
You’re such a good girl, always knowing how to please him, feels like you know him inside and out already ;)
You just wait until he gets his hands on you sweet girl ;))) 
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Y'all are so fucking obsessed with each other I CAN'T
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