#im not any singular one of them.
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I'd like to put out my audition to be y'all's real life Pomefiore confidanté.
I'm qualified. I like fashion, bitching, and archery. Ask me a question and I'll answer it with the disgust of eleven Vil's at once.
Hope I get the role.
#vil's bitching runs in my blood#ive got rook's stalker tendencies and love of archery#and epel's accent comes straight from my heart#im not any singular one of them.#im just pomefiore in its entirety.#contact me for outfit advice and sewing tips#i know too much for someone whos only considering fashion design as a career#pomefiore#rook hunt#vil schoenheit#epel felmier#rook hunt x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#epel felmier x reader#character imagines#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland headcannon#chapter 5#chapter 5 twst#this is my formal announcement that i would be in pomefiore lmao
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Happy Anniversary In Stars and Time!! Have some Friend Quest based drawings :D
(These have specific quote picks related to them! And there's also a long ramble on why I like those specific quotes below if interested)
(And by long, I mean roughly 2k+ words of proper ramble total, so be warned before clicking keep reading this link right here to the rb!!)
#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#<- edited now this is just act 3 spoilers for the art LMAO#isat mirabelle#isat isabeau#isat odile#isat bonnie#isat siffrin#<- i promise this is the last time in a long long time i tag someone who only shows up with their back turned#but in my defense they also are here four times so i think the tag is justified SADASFA#time for a messier secondary post underneath the first WAHOOOO#to start!! random art tidbits!! no one is looking at siffrin in these!!#mira and isa are looking away while odile and bonnie have their eyes closed#in my minds eye these are the A4 versions of the FQ so siffrin internally is Not Having A Good Time#i just thought itd be fun to incorporate somehow as an extra easter egg detail kinda!#also i tried to make the bgs mildly accurate to location in game and its the reason why isa got to have one (1) singular tree in the bg#laaast art tidbit is that i took a bit of a creative liberty with bonnies#well i did with all of them but still#since its not explicitly stated sif god up immediately after tripping they get to stay on the floor in the drawing#i just thought itd be fun for the drawing!!#moving onto general tidbits in addition to the time fun fact i also decided the posting time#specifically so itd be in the middle of me having back to back to back meetings so can't second guess myself in posting this HAHA#every time i post any form of text based ramble on characters or even headcanons i Fear#and YEAH i am probably just being overly nitpicky towards myself on analysis that can prob be read several diff ways cuz interpretation#but i really really really dont want to fumble so badly to the point of mischaracterizing anyone since i like them a lot!!#still working on getting over that but hey at least i am trying and thats all i can ask of myself i think!#okay now time to Lie Down im writing these tags after stream#tag talk over into q u go :]#partial pin
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okok my brain not braining rn but.... smth smth stan starting to figures tbings out when SHERMIE calls asking ford to watch the kiddos like
stan: hello? if this is the irs you can talk to me in person!
shermie: ford blah blah blah kids blah summer blah blah
stan: (why tf is my brother calling this ford guy????? and familiar with him?????) uhhhhh...
OH HEY i hadn't even read this ask when I wrote my response to that other one so I guess we're just on the same brainwave with "Shermie is the one to ask Stan to take care of the kids"
Stan is so confused because like. Shermie is his brother. He knows Shermie is his older brother. Everytime someone mentions Stan's brother they're obviously talking abut Shermie. Right? So why is Shermie calling up Stanford (how does Shermie know Stanford exists? So why does his brother Shermie somehow know who Stanford is? Does he know Stanley stole this random dude's identity? Except, no, Shermie thinks Stanford is his brother, which is super weird. And Stan is so absolutely baffled about this whole thing that he finds himself agreeing to Shermie's request before he can think through "taking care of a couple of kids for an entire summer"
#i should make an ask tag#stan (singular) au#ykw im just gonna clarify this one in writing now#bc im confusing myself#the family thinks stanley is dead or disappeared entirely#bc nobody has heard from him in smth like 40 years#they think ford has gone a little kooky in his shack in the woods#because he hasn't talked to any of them in 30 years#and for a hot minute any time any of them opened a call with 'hey stanford' he would just yell something about 'them' being after them and#then hang up abruptly#(this is not helped by the fact that Stanford had 'them' (demons) after him)#(and stanley-pretending-to-be-stanford had 'them' (the cops+random gangs he antagonized as stanley) after him)#so there's a bit of a crossover in actually-stanford going a bit insane and ghosting everybody#and stanley-as-stanford trying to cut out everyone from That Stanford Guy's life and ignoring anyone who seems to know who he (stanford) is#so the family eventually gave up tryign to contact stanford for like 20ish years#then obv the parents died#so its just shermie after like 20 years like 'okay fuck this im sending my grandkids to drag my idiot brother out of his cave'#surprise. wrong brother!#i'm retroactively making this scenario the canon-to-the-au one#stan doesn't have the twins literally just show up on his doorstep at the start of the summer lmao
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proposal video, gay kissing, dogs, and a marraige mention??? are we fucking soft launching again??
#any singular one of these and im Looking okay but ALL of them???#not to mention that no comment viewing of the very last one???#dnp#c.text#dan and phil
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I should be working leaf into my little universe somehow but I just. Don't know. I don't read the manga and don't plan to so I can't even use that version of her for characterisation or backstory or anything. I only like gameverse. In pokemas she's really cute and sweet but I'm not particularly attached to her so I haven't had any ideas for her yet. My singular idea so far was her and red as twins but their parents split and leaf went to live with dad while red stayed with mom.
#spongebob WAIT meme#i do like her i just like her the same amount i like any other misc pokemon chatacter whos cute but doesnt particularly speak to me.#i usually love trios. im a polycule enjoyer to the max.#but idk. reguri works better for me if they're literally eadh others singular only friends#it makes the intensity of their emotions make more sense like. if i was green and one person ever realy understood and liked me#id beckme clinically insane if we had a falling out and he went to live on a mountain. especially if it was bc i wad an asshole to him#okay just typung it out has given me a bjt more inspiration. i do like the jdea kd them as twins its cute to me.#Red and leaf as identical twins. They're both trans. in what ways only tkme can tell.
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having headcanons for party banter/ambient dialogue with lleyth save me. save me party banter headcanons
#💾#i want to take time to actually write some of them out like i did for alexei that one time#but my brain is shredding up the furniture right now. so ill just blab vague ideas on the tags#i think a fun one is lleyth and lucanis comparing some of their favorite assassinations in detail#and the unlucky third person in the party is like you people are freaks. im not listening to this#because i KNOW lleyth would go into graphic detail#there could also be a similar conversation later but that time it would be about comparing potential ways to kill someone#and once again the poor third person in earshot is like. what the fuck guys#(probably davrin because he would be subjected to their crow banter the most)#and then there's banter where lleyth giggles at something lucanis says and calls him cute. which makes him cough#(probably asking him about something wyvern related)#also banter with harding where they get in a small sibling-esque argument re: ferelden#lleyth is ferelden's no. 1 hater. and they would bicker about this#and it would be something like. lleyth pointing out that ferelden is like 55% dog shit#and harding hitting back with pointing out that all of the birds in antiva shit everywhere too#and lleyth being like 'hm. i concede to your point. for now'#and i also just thought of a sweet ambient lighthouse dialogue w lleyth and lucanis :'(#where lleyth is just like '.... thank you for making tea earlier.'#'of course. and your migraine....?' 'it's better. it helped. you're sweet you know that?' ← (pre-romance)#me when my brain gives me writing ideas for singular dislogue snippets and not any of my actual wips: *snoopy strangling self*
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ngl im still thinking about how hw love nghy so much that they released a limited merch set just of them
#even their most recent merch set (spring session books) featured the other 2 gen 1 couples aside from the harucouple…#the specialest lil’ guys… auaauauauauauauaaaaaa#nghy’s is just them and only *them*. ‘but their friends are in the postcards—’ the pals don’t even have names (yet)#nghy deserves the world (even hw agrees)#can’t wait for these two songs to get mvs~~~~~~ aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#ymk mv for herohero and tmk mv for noontea plspsspspspspsppspspspspsss (delusional)#(as an aside: im done with a rough-ish tl of both songs? not gonna put ‘em up till the official single release thoughh)#(im kinda e h on the tls tbh. song tls are a pain but. for nghy… [<-single minded idiot])#(kinda e h on the line distribution for noontea tbh [chizu and juri seem to have most of the lines with only occasional input from hiyo])#(and kinda e h on herohero in gen bc some lines just dont flow well in english… there seems to be a singular asuka crumb though. just one.)#(this is. like. the 3rd time im sleep deprived on a worknignt this week bc of nghy…)#(first 2 times was the past mon and tues bc i changed my phone wallpapers to nghy and i just. kept staring at them… [<-simple minded idiot])#but ah well~~~~~~~ i can always be sleep deprived again in like 18 days when chizuchan manga vol 2 drops#(provided the ebook release comes out at midnight jst…)#(…and i’d wanna see if there are any changes to the text from the chapter releases… man…)#(like idolsengen did switch up a few lines from the pic.coma release every now and then… but hmmmm)#t h o u g h jk trio the world tbh. juri spinoff w h e n (jk)#but c’mon hw~~~~~~~ drop a renren song for us pls~~~~~ let him officially be inducted into the series~~~~~#if renren does become chizuchan’s bf though… the jk trio would have a *clear* type:#black/brown haired serious boys who wear aprons at work
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I have now made it to six weeks, I think, of my daily mini workouts. Unfortunately doing it this consistently has in fact not made it any easier in the slightest. In honesty, it is harder because I do not have the momentum of the initial change. I am still going though
In reality too I probably have 2-3 weeks left at most that I will do, because after that I will no longer be home alone in the apartment. Still will have been worth doing I hope, so that I can do it easier when I eventually have the space long term
#i just truly hate being observed doing anything#i hate showering when people are home#i hate working doing a singular push up while people are around#i hate cooking or doing basically any activity that is purely 'for me' when others are around#it's something worth pushing back on i know#but in many ways it is sort of one of those things that is just like.... in me so deep that i dont think i could like#ever stop being uncomfortable it would just be another discomfort i would put up with#because in many ways i DO#because i do have to make food for myself and i do have to shower and whatever else#but once you get past the list of 'have-to's it makes it kinda impossible to want to add in optionals#which again i feel like this is my core emotional relationship with the world#there is almost nothing i cant do if i set my mind to it#but that has no bearing on my comfort level#so i spend all my discomfort on the things there is no negotiating#like man i was thinking how it's so crazy that im 30 and who knows the last time i kissed someone#and in many ways i doubt it will happen ever again#which is like a shame i liked it that was cool#i remember being in head over heels love multiple times in my life#but man i don't think i could coordinate getting that going now#i have to make three meals a day and do my laundry and go to work and buy groceries#i have to brush my teeth and floss#i have to take showers and take my clothes off before and out them back on my wet skin after#every time i eat i have to clean my bowls and dry them#and now it's the winter so if ive been washing dishes i should really moisturize my hands#so where in the hell is anyone supposed to fit falling in love in all that?#and dont even get me started on allowing them into my bedroom
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household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight
#out of three. please the third episode's what makes it okay im fighting for my life out here#it is NOT for lack of trying on my part but theres only a brief window of time when the olympics is not happening#and as it turns out the watchthrough is Not my mom's first priority (how dare she etc)#i do feel slightly bitter that we've gotten through two eps of band o brothers in the same time#we are fighting for the same timeslots yet somehow the hour long show's gotten a leg up??#you don't have time for a 23 min ep but DO for a 60 min one?? explain the math to me please#idk how to explain the vague feeling of betrayal bc it Does Not make sense Nor matter in the slightest#but cmonnnn we were doing so well. and my little bro's starting up school again soon and my dad's gotta go back to work#sometimes eventually (<- hes on medical leave) and my grandparents are coming over next week We're Losing Time Soon#ughhh if i'd known the olympics were happening (<- somehow completely oblivious to this) i'd have accounted for#my mom getting whisked away by the land of synchronized divers and shot putters and whatever the hell#happens in the summer olympics (<- only pays attention to winter olys)#bc that always happens. and *i* have to go back to school in Some Amount Of Time Im Too Scared To Check (p sure it's late aug though) and#when that happens i'll (hopefully) be stuck across town which means we won't be able to do it any time besides the weekends#and i don't wannaaaaa#i know this is the least important problem anyone's ever had like i get that i know but#it's important to me that they sit down and watch this with me. and watching it pull apart and being#the one who's easily the most invested it makes me look all desperate when i ask them for their time and they can't give it#we can only pull this off neatly in the summer and we were so close and now we're losing it right at the finish line#i don't want life to get in the way of this little bubble i've fought so hard to make y'know#and it's childish and embarrassing and whatever but i just want them to have fun with me with this thing i care about a lot#but i can't do that bc my mom needs to watch the judo matches at Every weight class#even though she's recording a lot of them? i don't understand but whatever i know it's her thing im just moping about it ig#i want it to be as perfect an experience for them as possible and it's slipping away from me#and i don't wanna leave this project unfinished when i start school y'know. sighh#i think they might feel like i only want them around when we're watching stuff. whcih is weird bc that's like#The Singular Way we family bonded literally my whole life so idk why they wouldn't get that when reversed#but either way that IS how i wanna spend time with them. i want them to understand this thing that's become a part of me#and i wanna talk With them about it. and so far it's been fun in a way it's never been before. my mom at least seems to really like it#and i want it to Keep going well bc if we lose momentum im worried they'll start finding it tedious. sighh
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NOOOOOO i caved and decided i would just buy the lps from the target website anyway and they decided to go out of stock as i was about to check out. throws up
#the world really does not want me to have these things.#well theres still some left but all i really wanted was some blind boxes and one of the 3 packs#the 3 pack i wanted is still there but the blind boxes are sold out#and i really dont think its worth buying 35 dollars worth of stuff i wasnt planning to get just to get the 3 pack thats only 10 dollars#(target website will only allow you to get certain items if you buy 35+ dollars worth of stuff. which includes all lps they had)#i guess ill just wait for them to show up in person somewhere.... IF that ever even happens#because theres only one singular target anywhere near me and its not close enouhg for me to be able to go check every few days#so theres always a chance that they never get them or they do get them and everyone else beats me to it#whateverrrrr . its not like i dont have any lps im just really excited that theyre finally making new ones again#and seeing people all over my youtube recommended getting them#(whether its because they actually bought them or because the company sent them a bunch for free)#is just making me more annoyed that i cant find them anywhere
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show us your oc lore!!
I'm so sorry but it's exclusively my Splatoon OCs
I'm not at ALL confident in how legible this is, but this is my Web Of Lesbianism(tm), AKA how (almost) all of my lesbian sploon OCs connect to each other, excluding a few who only connect in small places and/or I don't feel like making icons for. Sorry to Scarlet, who absolutely warrants a place here, but I simply Do Not Want to make an icon for </3
Lore under the readmore because I get extremely rambly. whoops and apologies and this is probably the only time i'll ever let myself get THIS infodump-y in a Tumblr post. I'm writing this after I wrote it all out and I'm so fucking sorry it's literally over 2k words because I have no ability to stop once I've started and I've been outright POSSESSED by these losers for the past month. Here's basically everything about my Splatoon OCs
FOR NAMES. Top right is Basil (Blue tentacles), middle right is Penny (Her name is just written because I haven't drawn her yet), bottom right is June (Pink tentacles), bottom middle is Jake (Blue tentacles), bottom left is Parker (Purple tentacles, also the sanitized icon), middle left is Ruby (Orange tentacles), and top left is May (Pink tentacles)
Everything starts when May, Jake, and Ruby are all around ~16-17, while June, May's little sister, is around ~9. May is VERY into Jake, and Jake's just generally a big flirt and a huge romantic, though it's unsure if he really realizes May's extremely obvious crush on him (He doesn't), or he reciprocates, which is unfortunate, because Ruby, who's May's childhood best friend, is also very into her, but May doesn't realize this. When [UNDECIDED EVENT] happens and May and Jake both come to the realization they need to head to the surface to escape the oppressive Octarian domes, Ruby being with them is very clearly an afterthought, and she knows it. So, her jealousy over Jake being someone May has known for less time yet clearly loves more than her, and the fact that trying to escape being very, very illegal, she turns them both in.
Jake manages to call May before he's caught to warn her that Ruby turned them in and the cops will already be heading to her parents house, which gives May enough time to run home, grab June, and make a run for it. Both May and Jake manage to outrun the cops, with May and June ending up far into the outskirts of the domes, while Jake only gets further and deeper within them.
Around a month or two after their initial escape, May's spotted by a patrol of soldiers stationed right around the way to the surface, with the soldier who spots her specifically being Scarlet, the oldest sister to Ruby (Who's not featured here because I don't want to make her icon), who remembers May from when she was a kid and, alongside that, has been feeling disillusioned with life as a soldier, despite her high ranking, and decides not only to let May go, but to even share rations with her. This only increases as Scarlet realizes May is the runaway who's known to have a young child with her, and it goes from Scarlet sparing her own rations to stealing rations from the squad she leads to make sure both May and June are able to eat properly.
Of course, this doesn't last long, as Crimson, the middle sister to Scarlet and Ruby, and fellow soldier stationed with Scarlet's squad, gets suspicious of the missing rations, Scarlet's dismissal of the issue, and her wandering off frequently, and ends up following her and finds her giving the stolen rations to May. A fight breaks out between the two, with Crimson managing to nearly take Scarlet's eye out in the process, as Scarlet's the only person ever to bring a gun to a knife fight and lose. May booked it the MOMENT Crimson jumped out, so she's long gone by the time the scuffle ends, but Scarlet, having just been caught stealing rations, aiding a runaway, and now attacking a fellow soldier (Even if in self defense), bolts to try and make it to the surface as well, albeit she doesn't know where May ran off to.
May ends up making it to the surface around a month after that incident, after wandering lost for the time between, and, while struggling to try and buy some clothes thanks to the language barrier between her and the commonly spoken languages of the surface, one of the employees working there, Penny, is able to help figure out what May's looking for, and helps her with the whole process, since it's a lot different from how it was in the domes. They don't end up seeing each other after that for around a year, but it's important when they do, as Penny's was the first person on the surface May really had a good experience with, so when they randomly run into each other, May's very happy to be able to tell her how meaningful that was to her, and that she's much more adjusted to the culture and language now.
Meanwhile, Jake! Jake ends up wandering deep within the domes, far away from where the actual settlements and cities are, for over a year, just barely surviving through scavenging and avoiding patrolling soldiers. Still, he's not great at it, and eventually he ends up being held at gunpoint by Parker, who insists he tell her his rank and what he's doing out here. He has no idea, as he was never in the military and lies through his teeth. Luckily for him, Parker is a military deserter, and would've had a much worse reaction had she believed him, instead realizing that he's not a soldier and has no idea what he's talking about. Parker's been hiding out in the area, an abandoned sewer system that's frequented as a supply route for soldiers, for several months at this point, and while she actually enjoys her life of living down there, it's a lot of work to survive on her own, and realizing Jake's a fugitive also means he's a potential survival partner.
The two end up meeting up once every day for around a week before Parker feels confident enough that Jake isn't going to screw her over or try and turn her in or anything, and invites him to live with her at her "apartment", an old maintenance closet that's very secluded and not marked on any military maps, under the agreement that the two of them actually work together. Jake instantly agrees because he's been miserable and awful for the past year, while Parker's doing surprisingly well for herself, she even has multiple sets of clothes that she's stolen from nearby outposts (As well as an entire mattress she stole, and her most prized possession, a full deck of playing cards, and an Octo Shot she definitely killed a man for), as opposed to Jake, who's been going off of only what he had on him when everything went down, which is... practically nothing.
The plot basically slows down and chills out here for a while, May and June end up moving in with Penny after a few months of May and Penny hanging out instead of having to live in the shitty motel they'd been living in before (Albeit, the motel was better than the wilds they'd been living in before that), and Parker and Jake get adjusted to their lives in hiding surprisingly well. May and Scarlet even find each other on the surface again, they run into each other while May's out grocery shopping, and it's a very important moment for the both of them, as they've spent this entire time carrying around the guilt of feeling responsible for what happened, so them seeing the other and seeing how much better they're doing on the surface helps ease those guilts.
And then the events of Octo Expansion happen in the background. Parker and Jake know the routines of the soldiers in the area after years of living together, but the supply lines end up being used by sanitized Octoling soldiers after Kamabo starts massively ramping up production, leading to patrols of sanitized soldiers at seemingly random intervals, and outside of the predictable patterns that Parker and Jake were used to. Parker's out doing the laundry when a patrol finds her, and, greatly outnumbering her, end up nearly killing her, and dragging her back to be sanitized. She's in too bad of condition to be saved and reused as a test subject, so she's just sanitized instead.
Jake, naturally, notices when Parker never comes back from doing the laundry, and proceeds to be missing for upwards of two weeks. Jake does his best to look for her, but he also doesn't want to stray too far from their "apartment", as he's scared she might return home when he's gone, and with the unpredictable patrols, he doesn't feel like it's safe to stay out for as long as he wants to to look for her, so he ends up sticking close to home and just hoping he'll be able to find some clue of her. Of course, when he finally does, finally spotting her hanging around the entrance to the hallways that lead to their apartment, it's Not a good thing. He runs up to her to ask where she's been, and the moment he calls for her she turns and attacks him. It's not even a fair fight, even if he went in expecting a fight, he wouldn't have won, but this was a complete surprise. She quickly attacks him and takes him back to be put into the metro as a test subject, and, since he was brought back in much better shape than she was, he actually can be salvaged as a test subject!
And then he isn't. He's in the process of being readied as a test subject, namely, having his memories messed with, that the entire plot of Octo Expansion actually happens, and he's freed when the entire facility shuts down, and the metro is just a normal transport system again. He ends up wandering around for another month or so, except doing so very poorly, as the effects that being prepped to be a test subject had on his memory is bad, and basically erased all of his knowledge on how to survive on his own. Eventually, and luckily for him, he's found by one of the rescue teams that have been sent out in the aftermath of Octo Expansion to rescue lost and sanitized Octolings, and FINALLY gets brought to the surface, as well as being hospitalized for a whole myriad of problems, mainly being severely dehydrated from not remembering safe ways to find and gather water reliably.
When he's ready to be discharged, he realizes he has really nowhere to go, but since he still remembers May's phone number from when they were kids (As it's been years at this point, May and Jake are both in their mid 20s now, and June's around ~17), and calls her to ask if she can come pick him up and also if he can crash at her place for a bit. May is more than a bit surprised that her childhood friend she was fairly convinced had died years ago, and that she feels guilty for abandoning, is not only still alive, but super casual and chill just. Calling her cell and asking if he can sleep on her couch. At this point, June's already moved out, having been encouraged by both May and Penny to get out on her own and try getting out of her comfort zone, and is living in Splatsville with her roommate Basil, and not really having any major plot moments of her own. She's having fun and coming out of her shell and having silly lesbian shenanigans with her roommate in the background while Jake and May are experiencing the horrors.
Ultimately, this is about where thing stop being decided and I still need to figure out what happens next. Jake is living on May and Penny's couch (The universe will never let them have their house to themselves. Not even 3 months after June moves out, Jake's crashing on their couch), and has no memory of his time with Parker, Parker's MIA and potentially dead, and May's struggling with the idea that Jake's either in denial of some major trauma he must've faced through the years, or that she's somehow uniquely fucked up from what happened to them. To make matters worse, Jake's memory issues become more and more apparent, as he continues to struggle to remember Penny's name, instead repeatedly calling her "Parker", yet getting confused when he's corrected. I'm ultimately unsure what I'm going to do to resolve this plot thread, but May and Penny do realize that whoever Parker was, she was someone Jake knew in the time he was missing, and are trying to figure out just exactly who she was, if not where she actually is
Whether or not Parker is dead... it's up in the air. I initially planned for her to die and stay dead, but I'm the worlds biggest sap and I feel bad about killing her off permanently, as well as the fact I have plenty of silly ideas for what I could do with Parker once she's on the surface, so I'm still debating if it's more narratively satisfying for her to die or not. There's, if you believe it, actually a ton I'm glossing over (The intricacies of Jake and Parker's dynamic, the reasons why Parker left, basically everything about Basil and June, literally Basil has an entire friend group that has their own mini-plot that's not at all connected to this and doesn't get mentioned, Crimson is going to be more relevant once I figure out what I want to do with her, ect), but uh. That's the very long gist of it.
If anyone actually, genuinely reads through all of this. Thank you, apologies, and I love you
#im not tagging splat on this sorry if it shows up in the tags#my art#my ocs#oh my god i went on FOR FUCKING EVER !!!!!! AUTISM MOMENT.#this is probably the only time i will ever do this btw this is unhinged even for me#had fun tho. i love my OCs i have a million thoughts on them forever#parkerrrrr shes my current blorbo from my brain#i want to draw her as that fuckin. 'they lifted the mask mandate rip [character]' meme#i also want to draw her and Jake w that one r/malelivingspaces post. Parker and her horrible awful singular mattress she stole#its like the 'and there was only one bed' trope but if it fucking sucked#Also I know I he/him Jake throughout of this but I prommy. he's a lesbian and his pronouns are he/they/any but for the sake of coherency#i just he/him'd him#also yes parker killed a man dont worry about it#anyways anon thank you so much. ive been fucking tormented by the squits for months and ive wanted so badly an excuse to just lay it all ou#EDIT: and for anyone who's curious the splat OCs I have that were NOT mentioned here are:#Amaranth (Basils sister) Summer (Pennys niece) Lorelai/Cat/Ari (Basil's friends + teammates) Callisto (Lorelai's brother)#and if you count her- Honeydew (Not related to any of my other OCs- she just exists to be a crossover w a friend lol)#the squits
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rlly dwelling in the Not Having A Friend Group rn. like I can talk to people and I have ppl I consider my friends but they r from all different areas and aspects of my life. and I don't talk to any of them regularly anyways. ppl are lucky if they hear from me once every few months, and idk how to like. not do that, bc also when everyone is kinda at the same level of distant, how do I pick who to reach out to? it's not that I like that person above all the other ppl I haven't talked to either. and like my definition of friend has changed bc I'm not close w ppl anymore
RAHHHHHHHH I'm feeling the loneliness and the isolation (that I have brought up on myself) extra hard tonight.
#i just want connections i just want COMMUNITY#Oh freshman year of university how i miss you#only because i lived on a floor with a bunch of other gay creativeppl#and so it was SO EASY to hang out with people#WHY IS MAKING DEEPER CONNECTIONS WITH PEOPLE SO HARD#WHY IS MAINTAINING FRIENDSIPS SO FUCKING HARD FOR ME#im jn my feels tonight so ik this is stupid and irrational#but i still feel like im never gonna get better at it and im never gonna find My People ya know?#like i think thats why i love found family so much#but i feel like im never gonna be a part of anything like that#bc i cant fucking talk to people or smth#idk man#having a rough night#been feeling this way for a while loke#i have my best friend obviously who i love and adore#but they live further away and while they are so wonderful. i would like to have more than One Singular Friend.#but its like i do have friends#vut im not close to any of them anymore (if i ever even was)#RAHHHHHHH#ok sorry im spiraling tonight lol#real#vent post#personal
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btw similar to the whole "if you try adderall at a party and it calms you down, get an adhd test" thing, if at some point in your life you try microdosing shrooms with a friend and end up feeling like a functional person for the first time in your life, get tested for depression. like yeah hallucinogens come with elation so youre probably gonna have some "this is the best ive ever felt in my life" vibes regardless, but like. if that in and of itself feels like finally breathing in for the first time in years, thats for sure a sign that something is up with your ability to process serotonin most of the time. feeling better than ever before should be a nice bonus, not a crushing weight off your chest
#fun fact there are currently multiple ongoing studies vis a vis the effectiveness of psilocybin on depression#both on its own and as a companion to ssris#psylocybin targets the 5ht2a serotonin receptors which wikipedia tells me are more numerous in the brains of those with depression#so like. if you spend most of your life feeling like your brain is an aquarium with a leak in it and serotonin is the water and your default#state is 'slightly damp gravel grinding painfully against itself' thats ummm not normal 👍#and on the flipside of that if you have depression that no other med has worked for and know a guy. its 1000% worth it#origibberish#also i say 'wikipedia tells me' as if i just looked it up but that all comes from a long night of spite filled research after i asked my#psychiatrist if we could use the fact that psylocybin worked for me as a basis to like. narrow down which legal antidepressant#might work instead of basically just throwing darts at a board every time#and after several minutes explaining to her that i was not just asking her to prescribe me shrooms but in a legal way she went#'ohhhh yeah no unfortunately theres been no research into that‚ yeah.... sorry......:)'#which. as far as 'lies you come up with on the spot to avoid having to say i dont know' go‚ that is. maybe the worst one to pick#like. 'no‚ thats not an option'? alright fine maybe theres some internal rules or something who knows#'theres no research' though just. immediately tanks any and all credibility 100% even on its own but considering the subject matter?#youre telling me. that humans. the famously curious species that researches fucking Everything. and also Loves playing with drugs. when#trying to figure out how to make drugs that make brains feel good. would not start with the drugs they already knew made brains feel good.#youre telling me that not one (1) singular scientist tried shrooms and went 'oh my god wait. i dont feel like im dying for the first time#ever. holy fuck i need to study this'#complete misplay. absolutely legendary fumble. there were so many ways to fuck it up and somehow you found the worst. congratulations#om the other hand though. really was an excellent setup for the punchline that is the voicemail i have from them saying she'd been fired LOL#they didnt say what for specifically but yknow. based on my own experiences i certainly have theories jebfksbfk#it was annoying in the moment but at the end of the day i have shrooms and she doesnt have the job so. whos laughing now emily KSBFKSBFKDN#this is what i mean though like. rn i feel fine. not on top of the world‚ not like a god#just. fine. i just dont feel like shit. i feel like i can do stuff if i want to‚ or chill peacefully and have it actually be. relaxing.#i dont feel like gravel right now‚ i feel like a person.#and god what a fucking relief it is#really i guess the moral overall is that if at any point you react to trying a new drug the same way an addict craving a hit for days would#then there maybe is something up with your brain chemistry because that means your default state of existence is comparable to that#of withdrawal. a famously shit experience
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Being a systeen in an adult system while also being the host is such an experience because like yeah there's the obvious "I have to act the body's age most of the time bc singlets don't know how to interact with systeens" thing but like you'll end up playing therapist for your headmates toxic girlfriends who tell you to call them mom like ok points for accuracy but ma'am I am 15 and I do not want to bear the brunt of your relationship problems. You know this all of our dynamics hinged around the fact a systeen was frontstuck why are you talking shit about me and putting all this pressure on me I am internally a child come on
#vent#i guess?#also if any of said exes see this fuck off idc abt u anymore im allowed to talk abt stuff like this#but like it was actually insane how much they stressed my being a systeen and acted supportive#only to freak the fuck out when they decided their gf sucked and instead of breaking up with her and gauging our reaction#they gave the whole system 'the silent treatment' for months and the shit talked me to friends bc I was 'too nice to be genuine'#and 'guilt tripping them' by repeatedly reassuring them that their boundaries are important and getting anxious around them#like just POV you tell a teenager to call you mom and talk about being family but then you have beef with one singular adult headmate#and you're like mmmmm i will focus all of this on the teenager I think#like god I thought I had a space I could be myself and not worry in but no turns out im too vulnerable lmao#so it's like well now I'm definitely not opening up to people abt the reality of being emotionally and mentally stuck at 15
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outer wilds is so strong it is literally the first media In existance that i loved enough to make my blog be themed after it. i have an ow url. b4 this i literally never had a fandom url and i never had a fandom themed blog. aside from my hamilton roleplay side acct on quotev.com when i was 11 but thats neither here nor there.
#i have loved 1 singular video game equally and its of well hold on. 2 other video games#1. kirbys eoic yarn which will be my number one favorite video game until the day i die. outerwilds ending felt like a religious experience#tl me. it genuinely changed me as a person.and yet kirbys wpic yarn number one#rhe lther game is plague tale both kf them bc i love them smmm i think theyre below ow tho. so like 3rd place.. even tho im like mentally#unwell abt them. and i think of my top 3 games ive cried THE MOST lver plague tale#im getting choked up like. currently. as we speak. bc i thought abt king hugo again. oh my god. oh my god.#i think its funny my top 3 games go from Game ive never cried over -> game i have cried over once kr twice-> game where i literally had 2#repeatedly pause during the last ~2 hours of the game bc i was sobbing too hard to see through my tears.and the same at numerous times#earlier in the game. and during the first game as well LOL.#ik plague tale is a much more acquired taste than epic yarn which is literally jusr fun. and if u dont like it you judt dont like fun.#and ow which ive Never met somebody who played outwr wilds and didnt get crazy abt it. ive never even met somebody who just felt so-so abt#outer wilds MUCH LESS someone who truly didnt like it#whereas plague tale yk. i could understand not liking either game.for like any number of reasons#And yet. its so good to me
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i cpul;d go on forever about amaurot. the specific people. thinking about the descriptionds for the philos and aidos minion and having a moment ill brb
#if you wanna know how big of an amaurot fan i am i log out every day no matter what in amaurot#i only ever have out my ancient one or philos minion. i have a locked glam plate thats the sophist robes that ive had since i got them#i switch between living memory and shepard to the stars as my singular two titles. ive dpone every single quest in elpis#literally just did them as a lvl 90 including that bitch of a scavenger hunt one before anybody knew how to do it#ive collected almost every single minion related to amaurot even by the smallest margin including the nagxian cat#and fat cat purely because they show up in an elpis quest#i have almost every single piece of ktisis gear sitting in a retainer and i have duplicates of the pieces i really like in my glam dresser#my top three favorite songs are mortal instants miracle works and dynamis#i own a handmade elpis flower given to me by an azem cosplayer. i cosplayed hythlo at sacanime. i bought $80 in amaurot merch#im deeply unwell. and i dont even like greek mythos i never had a greek mythos phase as a kid i thought greek stuff was boring#this isnt born out of any sort of deeper love i think the ancients just give me brain problems#UPDATE: mags also got me an amaurot keychain i keep on my jesus beater and moosh made me an ancient one doll#i hand sewed two sophist robes after having never sewed a garment in my life.#something deeply wrong with him (he is in love with the idea of a collective society who live for the love of the world)
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