#im not an apologist. i know his actions are wrong obviously.

[i-mmaculatus]

Swifties that don't hold taylor accountable for WHAT. What the hell did she do? That was my entire question. Yall will stan male kpop idols who have fucking said the n word and casually make pedophile jokes but then suddenly care SO much when you see a woman getting successful. "chaeryoung and tswift apologists" mentioned but BigBang Seungri and NCT Taeil apologists mentioned absolutely NO where. Truly astounding.

hi anon!!! the problem in question isn't about her gender or her success but rather about the things she's proud about, and how taylor fans act like she's an angel who's never done anything bad in her entire life. she's a grown woman and should own up to her acts! of course if we nitpick, we'll see that 90% of the artists we love and adore are or have done something problematic in their life; the thing is whether or not they've admitted to being wrong

let's start with taylor's jet crisis that happened some time ago and compare it to how she contributes to the environment. sure, everyone has harmed our planet at least once in their entire life, but the thing about taylor's jets is that instead of confirming that she indeed was in the wrong and would not repeat her actions, she bought the same amount of 'carbon credit' her jets would've needed as if that would help it. she's done it one, two, three times and god knows for how many times she'll keep doing it ! let's not forget about the fact that she, allegedly, sold one of her jets after she got exposed for it AND !!! sued the guy that exposed her ... and not to mention the various controversies she's been in the past, like the whole swastika picture thing, the many many lawsuits and etc etc etc

although like i said, no artist is an angel and we shouldn't put them above our social conscience

and you mentioned "i care so much when a woman is successful". i only picked taylor, hyuna and chaeyoung from the rest because people treat their mistakes like a normal person's. chaeyoung posing with a swastika has NOTHING to do with her success, she's an amazing artist but that's basically one step to a hate crime if you really think about it, and im saying this because i myself have been an once since their debut. the same goes for hyuna!

now the seungri and taeil thing is because obviously no one supports them. they fall under the basic dni criteria!!!! thats the first thing i mention in my dni ! i have also been a bigbang and nct fan for a long time and i was extremely quick to drop them as soon as the news came out. you obviously dont know me personally to assume i dont dislike them !!! stanning an artist and defending their actions is a completely different thing !!!!!! and for the "pedo jokes", i dont make those nor do i find them funny. if ur close to me you know how ill straight up tell someone that it isnt funny or that it's disrespectful

i dont know whats going on with u anon but plz dont assume stuff ab people online u barely even know :p for a moment i found ur ask funny and sent it to some of my friends, but genuinely its so disrespectful youd accuse me of defending 🍇ists ? ? ? just be more mindful next time ... thank u ^_^ oh and taylor probably wont kill herself if she sees a 16 year old gay boy who likes yaoi on tumblr dot com saying he hates her dont worry Anw heres cutie nomin

[ipoddymouth]

Wait bestie I want to know your thots on the matty healy being problematic thing he’s said a lot of weird/offensive stuff for sure but apparently some of that stuff is supposed to be satirical/ he’s an edge lord or whatever like the n*zi salute thing he did and it’s not a good thing to do no matter the context but I feel like it’s probably more harmful to call him a n*zi when he isn’t actually one it’s probably better to call that action antisemitic than a whole n*zi no?

wait gjargigjag you just basically summarized my thoughts but imma ramble more under the cut

i dont think matty is actually, truly, deep in his core racist or a n*zi (i'm also p sure he's given enough interviews explaining himself and his political ideologies bc he's annoying and never shuts the fuck up) BUT he also does say a bunch of shit on the side that doesn't help his case.

i think intent is a big issue in society in general bc it's like 'are you saying this shit to be funny? or are you saying this shit to be mean?' and people don't ask that question anymore. i remember when ariana dated pete and he made that joke about manchester and people were like 'he's disrespecting the dead!!' and, like, i can defs see where people are coming from for sure, and i can also see why he was like ???? in response to the backlash because his attention clearly wasnt to offend.

i will not lie and will fully admit that i am SENSITIVE lmao and there are some jokes in standup sets that i will straight up 😐 during bc i cannot separate the words from intent sometimes but im not going to say bill burr is a rape apologist or whatever because i sit and watch my silly lil 'offensive' robot chicken episodes without batting an eye. the problem with humor is that there will always be a faction that makes certain people uncomfortable. and that's okay!!!! not all of us (me included) need to watch cumtown or red scare because we will not find it funny!!! there's one drag queen who's yt videos my boyfriend cant watch bc he thinks she comes across mean even though i think the jokes hit!!!!

and to your second point i agreeeee like im black and grew up in a p white area so obviously people have said some SHIT to me, but that means you have to learn how to distinguish between someone being intentionally racist or someone being ignorant. i think matty says shit he thinks is funny because he's trying to be funny but the jokes themselves don't hit and just come across as....bizarre? rude??? multiple -ists???? but then he tries to explain himself and people (strangers to him) are either like 'fuck u this isnt sincere' or are just like 'but youre still wrong and horrible' and he just gets frustrated and deletes his socials in a lil baby fit gjlragjaglgj. and not to be a white apologist lmao BUT i kinda do understand why people turn to that 'anti-woke ideology' bc if every time i said something with poor phrasing and someone i didn't know called me a racist n*zi i'd probs go ape shit too.

there are real, actual n*zis like in real life who are actually trying to hurt people and people are pulling out all of their big gun ultra-bad labels for some scrawny boy band dude???? like what are we supposed to call the actual n*zis???????? like i l i t e r a l l y have seen a neo-n*zi rally down the street from my HOUSE and thats fucking TERRIFYING and they're just snatching up more people because of all of the culture wars bullshit

[but like to note im not saying that people need to be forgiving and understanding every time someone says something that pisses them off. some people need to be yelled at!!! they need to know they are wrong!!!! people should just be aware of the impact their words have. matty's words have made A LOT of people straight up hate him, but at the same time, some people have probably seen matty get called a n*zi and are now like 👀 bc the bar to being considered h*tler seems kinda low.]

anyway tl;dr racism is a spectrum, words have meaning, and we don't know these people. but if matty really is a racist and im wrong then i hope he chokes!!!

ALSO i am an adult and am not in the business of defending other adults so like im not gonna argue with someone if they think matty is racist. i am not doing dirty hit pr for FREE

[mike-wheeler-faggotry]

Confession I'm currently thinking of aroace Billy. No reason I just think it'd be neat if the constantly sexualized character just. Was not actually into that.

[fraseris]

the dream smp fandom is way too focused on whether characters are good or evil. its a pretty obvious result of older tumblr "purity culture" where everything was about what childrens cartoons were right and which were wrong. obviously people are trying to move away from this by tweeting stuff like "let people like villains," which is a really stupid statement in general but is kind of needed here. not to imply that it does anything though, because its entirely useless

as with older tumblr fandoms i think the obsessed with good and bad is partly born out as a defense mechanism against people outright supporting things which shouldn't be supported. back then it was groups like proshippers, now its probably (kind of similar, in morals and opinions) abuse "apologists" like c!dream supporters

the problem is that this backlash just ends up being applied to anything and everything in whatever space it starts out. people know that c!dream is very obviously evil (and im gonna get into this in a second) and then they internalize black and white thinking, where people are either good or bad. which is an issue when a lot of people are very focused on character analysis

and this sucks on its own, but what the dream smp fandom actually suffers from is the way people aren't willing to look past this mindset. character analysis is boring and any kind of debate is stupid when the only thing everyone cares about is who's right and who's wrong

im gonna use c!wilbur as an example (I promise this isnt an excuse to talk about him more, hes just a good character for this.)

wilbur hurt people. he hurt a lot of people. he lashed out at people he was meant to protect (tubbo, tommy) and he used people (technoblade) and he irrationally betrayed people (fundy, tubbo) and he blew up everyones home. and the thing is, this was all because he was forced to suddenly part with the thing he based his entire self worth on + he suddenly started questioning his own morals, which launched him into a mental breakdown, which made him depressed and paranoid, which made all the other characters think he was insane. he didn't get any help. it wasnt very pretty.

oftentimes, people in this fandom accept him being insane via other povs at face value, and put him in the Evil box. the issue is, actions are backed by motives which are backed by relationships, and being a villain does not equal being evil. this is the heart of the issue. some people don't care about anything other than good versus bad, and most will use it as their exclusive ultimatum.

a lot of discourse wouldn't exist if it wasn't for this mindset. c!phil could probably be a really interesting character to a lot of people if they would look at him past the fact that he's awful c!tommy and the new lmanburg gang. whats going on in that guys head?? whats he thinking?? why is he so cruel?? come on guys, there's a lot to work with here. you can dissect this old man for FREE

obviously, there are factors outside of the good vs. bad mindset. there's cc bias and death of the author and the confusion of unreliable narrators and so many povs of the same stuff. and i'm not saying that people shouldn't get to have petty biases and stuff, because that's like half of the fun. but it's really tiring when it's the only thing everyone cares about. media analysis can have so much depth that people in this fandom just. don't ever get into much

tl;dr dream smp analysis would be a lot more fun if people were willing to look past who is morally correct

[relaxxattack]

as a c!dream enjoyer™ (not an apologist!!!), I just . Do Not take any of the dream apologist stuff seriously. like idk if it's because I was a long time on kpop stan twt and learnt that people are simply just not worth my nerves sometimes (lmao), but every time I see a Hot Take how he did nothing wrong I just point and laugh bc hehe clowns! and then i hit the block button.

like dream is a fascinating character and such a good villain in how utterly reprehensible and horrible he is, and how well cc!dream crafted him (like, nobody can deny how cool it is when he could literally make ppl have goosebumps by simply logging on) (i think it's similar to how people enjoy horror media?), also as a person with too much emphathy (it's a trauma thing I think, at least that's what I was told by doctors lmao) it's also very interesting to me how i can still feel bad for an obviously irredeemable villain (the sapnap visit when he went into the water with him?? broke my heart. the scream when quackity first began his girlbossing? wow), like, it's fun to see him win (bc he's just a cool character for me) but it's also VERY fun to see him lose, he's just so hateable! absolutely horrible, I love the it

also I have a weakness for the blob design bc it's simply cute for me 😔 liddol evil blob man. why don't they simply trap him in a little box? oh wait-

so basically it's like, evil horrible green blob boy pissbaby (derogatory) (derogatory) (derogatory) (derogatory) (affectionate)

(this is all meant in a light-hearted manner and is absolutely not meant to undermine the seriousness of c!dream's actions in canon btw, it's just how I personally consume c!dream content jdbfjfn)

i agree with all of this!! cc!dream is so talented at writing horror, and i genuinely enjoy c!dream because of it. i dont talk about it a lot, but i enjoy the (mild) horror genre and dream is SO good at it.

like, because this is mainly an analysis blog about characters thoughts and motives i dont talk about dream much, since we don’t have his pov and i dont feel comfortable speculating why he might choose to do the absolutely gross things he does.

BUT. when im sitting and watching and just being a fan. HOLY COW is dream great. he’s scary, and he makes you wonder. i am SO excited to see dreams pov when we get it because i think cc!dream knows what he’s doing and will give us something great.

c!dream is absolutely vile and i love it. of course i would prefer he never be within 100 ft of tommy tubbo of ranboo again, but that’s a different matter >:]

[tartareus]

Do you condone/ship incest? I was reading your rules and got confused about your sentence where you said if people are uncomfortable with fictional consensual incest this isn’t the blog for you. Except Incest is incest regardless of if it’s fiction

hi there, friend, how do you do?

while i'm not particularly fond of anons (nex time you'd like to discuss something regarding my rules and/or character portrayal, i strongly encourage you to do so via ims - i don't bite, and if our points of view don't quite match? that's alright, i promise i'll leave you in peace :) ) for various reasons, i'm so glad you've read my rules (that probably makes you one of the few who follow me - at least i presume you do, idk - who has done so, so thank you so much!), i cannot stress enough how important they are to me. if i happen to follow you, rest assured that i have read yours (unless, ofc, i couldn't find one in your blog - in any case, if i happen to accidentally break one of yours, just hmu or gimme a nudge).

considering that you've asked more than one question, i'll answer to you in separate sections - needless to say that while i break it down your questions, the answer might become a little longer than usual (again, i'm sorry). i'll keep this tagged, in case any of my followers don't feel like reading about this. without further ado, let’s dive in.´

“do you condone/ship incest?”

short answer? nope. but that is not a black or white question i’m afraid. no, i – nox, the human behind this blog of fictional characters – personally do not condone incest , never have and never will, and  don’t ship it. i do, however, ship consanguinamory on rare occasions, and when i do happen to write it i never do it in a good light.

for those who are not familiar with the term, here’s a little bit of info about it x && x. in short, the key difference between them is: incest is usually linked abuse (a fictional example that can be used, taking in consideration one of my very own muses, in this case is margot verger – who was sadly abused by her brother in the hannibal books) while consanguinamory (the lannisters, for example, or even the sharpe siblings from crimson peak are examples of consanguineous relationships) is the consensual romantic and/or sexual relationship between members of the same family who are of consenting age.

[ personally, i find both of them gross as fuuck irl but when it comes to fictional works i may get over this first disgust and ponder more on that && take in consideration the characters arch, plot, thoughts and the whole world they are set in. ]

i suppose the turning point here is the consent. i never, never, condone any sort of abuse – not in fiction and neither in real life – and while it’s a subject that bothers me to no end in real life, when it comes to fiction i am less inclined to project into them. i may write dark and toxic relationships, but i obviously do not condone them. that’s the point here – people on this hellsite usually mix the two together (condoning something and shipping/writing it, that is) when in fact they shouldn’t even be in the same box to begin with.

let’s say you write a fictional serial killer – norman bates, tate langdon, hannibal lecter, catherine tramell (that chick from basic instinct), patrick bateman, mrs lovett and sweeney todd, kai anderson, bellatrix, grindelwald and voldemort (the list of plausible examples could go on forever…) – here and ship with them; does it mean that you, the writer, condone every single action and choice your muse does? if writing something purely fictional equals to condoning it in real life, well… the world is even more fucked up than i first thought.

you see, in this little exercise in imagination, you could’ve easily picked a good guy or gal to write, the hero; the goody two shoes. why didn’t you? well, it’s complicated to pin point why some are drawn to darker works of fiction and characters while others are not, i suppose each individual has their own reasons && i can only speak for myself when i say that i am drawn to these sort of fictional works because they the safest way to explore dark topics that pertain to human society. on my side, it’s nothing but raw curiosity.

there’s also the issue of how different cultures see these relationships. in case you haven’t noticed, i am not from the states but actually from brazil. especially in the rural area, it’s not uncommon for second cousins to date or even marry (ew, i know, pretty gross). that’s something that is luckily falling out of practice, but you can easily find it, more so in the poor rural areas that are really far from the cities.

you may have noticed that most of the sources for the terms come from a blog that advocates real life consanguinamory – but make no mistake, i don’t support it. these were the only places i’ve found as sources in a quick look online. i don’t support it irl, but whatever consenting adults are doing amongst themselves is no concern of mine – i have no say on the matter and all in all, i don’t give a damn. i just don’t like it. everything i’ve discussed here is related to fiction, consent and is only ever related to people of consenting age.

“i was reading your rules and got confused about your sentence where you said if people are uncomfortable with fictional consensual incest this isn’t the blog for you. except incest is incest regardless of if it’s fiction”

to be honest with you, anon, i couldn’t possibly see how you’ve got confused with this. i thought i was pretty clear with that, but perhaps not. sorry, my english is not perfect. however, with the risk of sounding like a meme, i said what i said. if you personally feel uncomfortable or even triggered with fictional consensual incest otherwise known as consanguinamory, maybe my blog isn’t for you. not because i – as the mun –  condone it, but because i might mention it or even allude to it when i write certain characters. again, consent is the main thing here – you won’t ever see me writing that awful part of margot’s past, but i might mention it on some threads as it is part of her trauma but i will write jaime’s feelings regarding cersei and joanna’s love for tywin – and that should not be overlooked.

“except incest is incest regardless of if it’s fiction” 

so far so good, am i to assume that you also believe that “murder is murder, regardless of if it is fiction or not”? should we call the police on, idk, george rr martin for killing....hell knows how many characters...at this point i’m sure not even he knows. leaving my petty comment aside (it’s the arthritis, i’m always annoyed when in pain), i see where you’re coming from; fair enough.  but you missed a big point here – consensual. i do not write abuse, even to the muses who – in the canon source material – have done so    ( like jaime lannister himself – who’s in a consanguinamorous [therefore, falling under the category of fictional consensual incest] relationship with cersei – who abused his sister next to their son’s dead body [ yeah, jaime apologists, i’m out to get y’all...jokes aside, i do not acknowledge people claiming that cersei manipulated him into going to bed with her, while they are both shitty and toxic as fuck people, their relationship is mutually messed up – gag if you must but jaime lannister is far from innocent angel ] )     in the past. i. don’t. write. it. but i do write jaime’s feelings for cersei because they are canon and are also a big part of the character he became.

all of that, of course, has to do with my own position on the “war” between the people who believe fiction has a great power and influence over reality vs the ones who do not believe in that. personally, i find it hard to believe that fiction is a brainwashing tool rewiring people’s brains  - i find the idea itself ludicrous, the ones who strongly stand for that aren’t that different from flat-earthers and people who believe in reverse racism tbh – but i do acknowledge the influence media has on society. its not nearly enough to turn someone to the “dark side” alone by itself – those who claim that videogames, for example, made them violent most likely already had something different and perhaps wrong with them before the games triggered something. i don’t believe that media creates things on people, but brings buried things (fears, feelings, emotions, hopes) back to the surface. it’s all about the stimulus.

if you wanna be scared, watch an horror movie; if you wanna be happy, a comedy video.  wanna feel warm inside and live unrealistic romantic expectations vicariously through fictional characters? read a 50.000 words slow burn fluffy happy fanfic of your otp at 3 am even though you gotta wake up early in the following morning....

point is, they are not creating things, they are bringing forth responses from you that were already there in your brain (everybody has laughed before and felt fear, it’s part of human development). and how you react to certain content is entirely to you and your past. say, if you drowned as a kid on the sea - and had trauma from that - the idea of watching titanic is not so fun, is it?

it’s not my place to decide what you should do, that is entirely your own choice to make, just be aware that, as i’ve stated before countless times, i may write dark topics that may or may not be triggering to some.  i do so because it is my blog, and i don’t react so harshly to this content (in fact, i love horror, thriller and dark fictional stuff – meanwhile i dread the thought of rom coms, hell knows why??) for i am lucky to be able to separate fiction from reality. basically, whilst writing a villain, i myself do not become one in real life – that part remains in fiction only and doesn’t affect me.

that is not a constant, sure. i don’t just write dark shady stuff – there’s plenty of fluffy shit on my blog, but i like to warn people beforehand to make sure we are all on the same page. it’s for your own comfort, i suppose, because i may not understand certain points of view on fiction but i will always defend your right to be comfortable and safe.

so yes, if you aren’t feeling well at that notion, please unfollow and block me if you must – i never wish to cause any discomfort to anyone – however, before you do so (that is, if you do so) i beg you to just send me an im warning me beforehand, please? that way i can block you – and your other blogs as well – so the chances of me running into you again and causing you discomfort will be minimal. that way we’ll both be on own respective lanes and happy about it. i mass follow very often and don’t usually know which blogs belong to whom (uh, did that make sense? my latina ass is not used to using whom in a sentence....), i may follow another blog (or the revamped blog) of someone who has blocked me and never even realise it – that’s not me following you around and stalking like a total creep, that’s probably me not even remembering who you are. again, sorry – i don’t mean for this to come off rude or anything but???? its the truth? you know the drill, big following list, big followers list (well, big for me tbh, i cannot remember the name or alias of 600 people for the life of me, excuse me if my memory doesn’t serve me right), hard to keep track. there will be no witch hunts, at least on my part, because i deem them to be childish and way too dramatic for my taste. if you’d like to speak in private, adult to adult, i’m always game – i dread vague posting, i personally see it as a pathetic and weak trait. 

as long as you’re civil, so am i.

either way, do whatever makes you feel comfortable and safe on your blog – your  mental health is far more important (to me, and hopefully to you as well) than a hobby, than tumblr, rp or whatever fictional stuff someone’s writing or reading; you are responsible for your own online experience, and i am responsible for mine. that’s an empowering thing that should be reminded more often.

i truly hope i’ve managed to answer whatever doubts or questions you had in mind, if not my ims are always open and so is my discord. once again, thank you for reading my rules and stay safe!

edit; my dumb ass forgot to drop my disco handle, since i change often. it currently is   DOCTOR BITCHCRAFT !!! | 𝒏𝒐𝒙#1398

[dogydayz]

i saw someone try to call Rebecca Sugar a "Nazi apologist" because of the very obviously rushed ending of the show that didn't give the consequences of the Diamonds' actions enough time to properly go through a real cycle for redemption and such and I'm just like... B...Bro?????? H..How??- I've not watched the show since it had first come out, so I haven't followed the story but I know that there were some really risky storyline things (i saw someone also say the whole Pearl and Rose thing "never being condemned" is romanticizing slavery, as if the show about fantasy stone aliens somehow has to abide by every goddamn human moral when the whole point is that everyone involved has flaws, iirc. And besides that as the show goes on it DOES show that the relationship was really never very healthy, and it's presented in a way that implies that Steven's whole goddamn world in his head, where his mother was some amazing and pure woman, slowly gets shattered as he learns just how many problems she'd caused and shitty things she'd done, even if she wasn't outright a "terrible" person exactly. Because again, the show was, correct me if im wrong, ABOUT HOW PEOPLE ARE ALL FLAWED IN SOME WAY.), but never in my fucking life would I have ever called the kinda iffy plot (which was moreso to do with plot-holes than actual heinous shit) akin to something a NAZI APOLOGIST WOULD MAKE???? I've just seen so many really REALLY shitty takes related to the show, from people calling it "queerbaiting" (THEY PRESENT AS FEMALE. THERE'S LITERALLY A GEM WHO IS TRANS BECAUSE THEY DON'T PRESENT AS FEMALE LIKE THE OTHERS. RUBY AND SAPPHIRE ARE IN FACT SAPPHIC, HOLY FUCKING SHIT.) to them calling the Stevonnie fusion "pedophilic" (in relation to the combination of the two fusing into someone who's an adult when they're both minors....but that's....not pedophilic????? For one fusion is literally kinda stated to create an entirely new gem from the characteristics of other gems, that's Garnet's whole goddamn thing. Two, the show never presented Stevonnie as some kind of way to allow them to date adults or anything? Stevonnie's whole purpose was to be a symbol of growing up, going through changes physically and mentally, and finding oneself, afaik. They're never used as some weird loophole to be creepy, and never are they presented as being such.), holy shit. What the fuck happened? I know the show had a toxic fanbase, but how the hell did shit turn into such a target for malice??? Can people not see a show written by someone who may or may not have struggled to keep up with writing it when they watch it? Do they not see how obviously rushed the ending was? Do they just choose to ignore the fact that, hey, maybe the writer didn't fucking anticipate her show about space rock aliens to be psychoanalyzed by everyone and their psychologist and picked apart like they're looking for fleas in the fur of a husky????? Are people not allowed to make mistakes when writing shit??? Also im pretty sure no kid watching the show is gonna see the ending and say "this is an allusion to the Holocaust and is actively forgiving those who enacted it" IT'S A FUCKING TV SHOW. MAYBE STOP EQUATING FANTASY PLOTS WITH ONE OF THE MOST FUCKED UP EVENTS IN NEAR-HISTORY THAT KILLED MILLIONS OF REAL LIFE PEOPLE???

It's just....god this shit makes me so fucking angry.

People keep tagging my Steven Universe posts with variations of "sorry about posting SU in 2022" and it makes me sad.

Steven Universe finished airing in March of 2020. As of this post, it is only December of 2022.

What a perfect commentary on how short-lived and discourse-pooisoned fandom is anymore.

Sigh.

[roccoreceipts-blog]

CALLOUT FOR MARS / BARON / ROCCO / MIMI / PIPPI / MARIA WHO CURRENTLY OWNS @VINYLBITCHIN + @HANDFUCKIING + @FLESHPRAY + @SHESCHISM + BUNKERKEPT . CONTENT WARNING FOR ABUSE, PEDOPHILIA, RAPE, RACEFAKING, ETC.
 


a quick introduction though i'm kinda uncomfortable, im 17 i run a few blogs on this hellsite and i have some concerns for people's safety. this isn't a petty post either, is genuinely fearful for myself and others she's abused in the past and will continue to do so and it's about time we all came out about this because it's gone on way too long and i blame myself more than anything for holding back. i just felt unsafe and i do more so now but it's worth other people's safety. and everybody knows i'm definitely not one to do something like this and i've had such a hard time coming out about this from guilt. i want to make this short and to the point. i don't wanna take up too much time because we could go off for hours about all of her drastic lies like how she supposedly got hypothermia in 45 degree weather or how she lied about being in a s.chool s.hooting ( one , two , three ) ironically she had sent me a fanfiction of the c.olumbine s.hooters in the past and guilt tripped me the moment i said it wasn't right. or the time she told me she was taken hostage which i might have stayed believing if it weren't for the fact she was roleplaying with a character from that movie on her @lleeta blog not too long ago ( one , two , three ) but anyway.

im never gonna be able to recover completely but i want to reach out and warn people. me and others have gone through her explicit / obsessive / rape roleplays but i can fucking guarantee no matter how many times i was ( or the others ) guilt tripped into saying YES despite how uncomfortable i was but couldn't tell her , she does still do them from what i know. she tends to warp characters ( other muns put in these scenarios have told me the same thing bc she did it to multiple people ) to make them far more obsessive / creepy then they are even meant to be. i'll start out by saying ive known rocco since the end of 2015 or so and we instantly became friends. we quickly made our ocs out to be affiliated, though they were SUPPOSED to be father and daughter (and often i would let her portray an oc i of mine who is supposed to be a love interest), she would always propose obsessive rape plots, and even an explicit plot of a forced marriage au between the father and daughter muses which was clear she wanted to lead to smut (warning for a graphic detail i can't get out of my fucking head was her saying she could imagine hannah / the daughter on her knees being forced to unbuckle his belt but said it as if it were almost ? something she got ? in a way , excited over ??) of course i don't have many screenshots of these things especially because i was isolated by her for about a year at the time , trusted her , and no matter how sick or anxious ive felt getting her messages i didn't really know i had the choice to come out about it , especially considering how hostile she would be when i had friends or even my ex .

( one , two , three , four , five ) we were actually dating at this time, which was a relationship i was basically forced / guilt tripped in after saying no countless times. she would often numb me down when i would say no to things, whether it was her asking to be in a relationship with me or even roleplay, in which at one point i've counted 20+ screenshots of her constantly begging even though i had just declined. at this time is when i was isolated so i don't the have exact proof because again, i didn't know about the abuse going on in front of my face and i didn't known what to do about it. she would constantly guilt trip me over these things and i felt very vulnerable though i do tend to play things off when i'm uncomfortable.

now i'll move on to some more recent -ish shit or at least things i haven't completely blocked out from my memory since that's most of what i have. we've been friends on and off because she had eventually set me off, our first fight being me angry that she couldn't handle when i declined her roleplays. so it's been a long cycle of me blocking her from discomfort, only for her to constantly make or log into old blogs to try and contact me to manipulate me into friendship again. and it worked. too many times. after all of that, she began to test boundaries which is something she usually does. this included throwing attitude for no reason ( i remember a time i was supposed to be making her icons and couldn't at the time and her response was "it's not that fucking hard" // she's even sent me a screenshot herself before of her in a groupchat where one of the participants had said something and told them "literally nobody cares" and expected me to comfort her after that ) + saying things she knows is wrong + stealing or making blatant rip offs of my original character ( one , two , of course there are far more instances like the time she ran @viirginblood but that's not the point of this post so i'm skipping over that ) + bringing up my past relationships / sometimes family or financial issues + constantly bringing up the fact we got in fights i was trying to move past or try to make me feel bad if i didn't reply right away ( one , two , three , four , five / she also acted very controlling to me any time i wouldn't answer so i would be forced to give an explaination and she would pretend it wasn't just her being "worried" ) + manipulating her into following her / bossing me into doing things she wanted ( one , two ). even some new information came to light that i was completely oblivious to; obviously any time i had a friend or a significant other she had no problem portraying blatant jealousy, i was also informed she was acting possessive of me even when i wasn't around, when i was actually NOT TALKING TO HER AT ALL ( one , two ) . which really freaked me the fuck out.

she would also constantly TRY to spite me when we weren't friends. she's admitted it. she's also admitted in a group call, that i still have contact with one of the participants, that she stalked me when we stopped talking and got her friends to "keep tabs on me" i was also informed of her stalking another minor not too long ago and going back to the spite stealing, it wasn't just one oc, it was concept ideas, urls, even going as far to LITERALLY flat out steal the oc i let her portray ( the one she obsessively wrote out rape roleplays with ) , lied by saying it was a "misunderstanding".

shes also is a rapist and pedophile apologist ! she roleplayed dolores of l.olita and a few people including myself can recall her literally posting / asking for a humbert to roleplay with. i don't know a lot about the film / book itself but i DO know humbert is the pedophile who abused dolores. here's some screenshots of her not only apologizing his actions burn theowing a pity party over it, claiming shen had a right to roleplay dolores getting, what i imagine must have been sexually abused ( one , two , three ).

her relationship with her ex, ( for those of you who don't know ollie you can probably easily find some information on him as a fill in on what he's done / warning for rape ) ,   she helped him catfish / fake his identity to hide what he did, shows hostility toward the rape victim and shows behavior of a rapist apologist again + talked some nasty transphobic shit about me , not to mention again , i'm underage so that's weird that it's focused on my body especially considering she's 18 here, not to mention she's not still obsessing over me when we aren't talking ( one , two ) + on her @roccospeaks blog she had a while back , she deleted the posts but i'm sure plenty of people saw that she and others were claiming that ollie was FAKING A TRANS IDENTITY ( and this isn't a kiss ass moment to him, i'm just pointing this out: this was after she made those transphobic remarks about me so i highly doubt she can blame her transphobia on being "drunk" here ) because he was wearing makeup and had a feminine appearance . i'm pretty sure the post is still floating about somewhere so if you can find it, it's all there . she continued to focus on me despite we weren't talking, blamed me for being the source of her suicidal tendencies that she's had since i've known her, ironically though she's also told me i'm the reason she says alive in the past — and something she thinks blocking her for comfort is a manipulation tactic or game to her ?? / that and here's some of her guilt tripping all because i soft blocked her ( one , two , three )

i had also recently ended a relationship with an ex of mine , which wasn't ANY of her business but she constantly brought her up plenty of times. as shown above, she's was insisting that my vague posts about ending my relationship were about her no matter what i said ( one , two , three ) + doing so either herself or i suspect getting ollie or his friends to send me anons about MY relationship because i didn't tell anybody else about it, but she sure as hell did ! all while putting blame on me ( one , two )

here are some messages i have of someone informing me she was actually racefaking ! and the funny thing about this is she's white. or at least from what i know? i know she has indeed sent me a link to a post before of a black mun venting about white people or smth like that which was NONE of my fucking business esp considering i wasn't following this person and she told me after sending me the link to the post "i thought i could trust them" where she tried tin get me to comfort her ?? this is also interesting, here she is talking about a minor, THREATENING THAT SAME MINOR, not to mention dissing sex workers and putting an input on reverse racism.

heres more of her obsessive / controlling behaviors over not letting people follow / interact with me out of sheer spite and not wanting them to be able to know what she has done ( one , two , three , four , five , six , though there's many more i lost ) here's more evidence of her interest in writing problematic issues / warning for rape ( one , two ) i have many more screenshots of her situations with ollie but chose not to post them; however if you would like to see them you can ask me, it's just her encouraging him to hack me plus some gaslighting aftermath shen sent me on mun personal when things didn't go her way.

she has also lied about her age to smut multiple times in the past , claimed to be of age here and on multiple blogs. she was at least sixteen at the time. also mentions shes underage here but then says she could LEGALLY portray sexual assault ?? and here's her saying she WILL have depictions of pedophilia on her blog. keep in mind we've known each other for a long time, though it was on and off; she knows very well i'm not 18. if told her before countless times AND it's all over my rules. BUT YET, she's persistent on sending me explicit content KNOWING IM A MINOR / ADMITTING SHE IS 18 after i had vagued about my discomfort ( one , two , three )

as i mentioned above she was always presenting nasty plots to me; i can't stress the fact that it DID make me uncomfortable whether i decided to play it off or not, but later on, when she was indeed of age, presented to me an old, incestous plot and then had the audacity to put the blame on ME, whenever i strictly recall her wanting to ship them / make the more brothers in the first place. my character had already had a brother, her oc she actually made back in 2016 was a spiral off of this canon character. so even afternoon she blamed me for it, we established that i said no, she still chose to focus on his childhood with romance. ( one , two , three , four )

again, im not the only person she's has abused like this. and compared to the things she put ALL OF US through, these have to be some of the lightest fucking examples. but i do hope it is enough to keep others safe or be a warning. i also haven't mentioned anybody for their safety, but if you think you would be willing to share your story you can add on or whatever to get it out their. i really hope you can take my word for or it as well, because it wasn't very hard for me to put myself out here but i think i did the right thing for others.

and last but not least, if she's seeing this, here's a big fat "fuck you" from all us, what you put us through, and blamed us for.

[livingfuckinglegend-blog]

x. no joke i was gnna make one small post and ended up writing like 3 paragraph about murdoc so uh. its kind of a mess idk what happened

m.urdoc seems so much more chilled out this phase, like -- despite the inconsistent writing, he’s shown (mostly in live interviews & those short mocap vids) to be getting along pretty well w/ 2D, and i can only assume he’s making the same effort w/ russ & noodle. i’m thinking a lot about how i want to characterise him and honestly... i just think he’s made a conscious decision to be nicer this phase, bc he knows full well that if he continues to treat his bandmates badly they’ll leave him. and g.oril.laz are the only family he’s known for like, 19 years now, and despite how much he hates showing it he really does care abt them & doesn’t want to lose them.

murdoc is fundamentally bad at empathizing and thinking about how is actions affect others. he has a complicated self image, because he sees himself as perfect & the best & someone who can do no wrong, but at the same time he knows he fucks up and treats people badly. he lashes out a lot because the only way he knows how to deal with his issues is through violence & anger bc that’s the kind of household he grew up in. just! his main issue is that whenever he does something horrible he believes it’s not that big a deal, it won’t have a lasting effect, everything will be fine. he’ll be forgiven w/o doing anything to earn that forgiveness.

he also has... a hard time understanding that 2D would be scared of him. fully knowing that constant physical & verbal abuse is a bad thing but believing that when he does it, it’s not that big of a deal. not to say that his abuse towards 2D is excusable!!! i never want it to come across like im an apologist im just. thinking abt stuff.

but now he’s over 50 and is probably aware that he has to start making changes if he wants the band to stay together. i just CAN’T believe he hasn’t had some kind of character development since plastic beach. fuck u writers u cant feed me tht shit

just!!! he’s such an interesting character i love him w all of my heart i would literally lay down my life for him??? obviously i had 2 end this w/ how much i love him like. listen. i love my green husband