#im not a cut them out kind of person but i guess ill just. live my life

[mxwhore]

crying on da streets oh yes

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

maggot newt pulsifer: the draw battle recap

The maggots asked and the maggots shall receive. Helloo it's the Good Omens Mascot and the uh Maggot Prince (...) anyway it's Asmi and as many of you now know, we have a Discord server. It is called The Official Maggots Server of Doom.

So far, it has lived up to its name, with discussions of whether human flesh is healthy food if locally sourced and consensual, tears about good omens, gartic phone horrors and the infamous Draw Battle Team of Valerie and Coel. If you don't have Discord or weren't there, never fear! That last Incident is the one I am here to recount to you. We all know I love summaries.

DRAMATIS PERSONAE:

Coel @dieamarjla: The Newt Puslifer Maggot, whose phone hanged, nearly burned up, closed several tabs and then gave up on him entirely Valerie @good-usernames-were-taken: His unfortunate teammate I, Asmi @weirdly-specific-but-ok: Their gleeful opponent Vanny @lxvenderjewel: My equally gleeful teammate Vel @orpiknight: Sane person cameo, joined next game Jay @voids-ideas: Joined next game Tefi @patoslover: Gleeful spectator cameo

And so we begin... with the snippets from the Discord channel as the game went on. A lot has been edited out, but rest assured, you are receiving the delicious necessities.

Valerie: GUYS IT'S STARTING Coel: its so over Valerie: COSL PLEASE DRAW Valerie: COEL Valerie: HELLO IM ON YOUR TEAM Coel: oh dear god Coel: im on phone lmao my fingers Valerie: COEL GET BACK HERE Valerie: GUESS Valerie: COEL DONT LEAVE ME KN MY OWN LIKE THIS

Valerie: NO COEL HAS FUCKING VANISHED Coel: wait wbat??

[continues below cut :")]

Coel: gonna vanish from discord cos my phone keeps refreshing my tab Valerie: coel I'm not on your team next time Coel: fair fair idk what im doi g sob Valerie: COEL GUESS Valerie: GUESS COEL Valerie: YOU WRITE WHAT YOU THINK IT IS Coel: I CANT SEE THE THING Valerie: WHAT Coel: MY TAB Valerie: OKAY COEL GET READY Valerie: WE CAN DO THIS Valerie: LETS SHOW THEM Coel: my tab is fucking frozen its stucm on round 3 Valerie: OH MY GOD Coel: im sorry ghfjgngnf Valerie: I GUESSED IT PURELY BASED ON WORD LENGTH Vel: What is happening right now. Coel: i dont know :sobbing Valerie: IM SORRY COEL

Vanny: FUCK Asmi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Valerie: WHOS THE SUCKER NOW Vanny: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS Vanny: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT COEL Valerie: WTF Asmi: WE ARE FAILURES OF THE LOWEST ORDER Vanny: FUCK SORRY Asmi: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Valerie: WHOEVER IS PLAYING FOR COEL HIGH FUCKING FIVE Asmi: WE CAN'T LOSE TO VALERIE Valerie: TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN Valerie: COEL?!?? Coel: link pls it crashed Coel: my phone is having seizures Coel: ghghgjgjgjk Coel: after this ill keep out of the games lmao Valerie: COEL the word is cheeks Valerie: or cheeks Coel: i cant get in bro the link just doesnt open tho theres nothing wrong w it Coel: aaaaaa

[Finally new game is initiated, Vel, terrified, agrees to join, Jay is hesitant] Jay: How much English do I need? HAHAHA Asmi: NONE IF YOU'RE PLAYING AGAINST VALERIE AND COEL IM SO HAPPY Jay: I know how to read them, write them? Idk HAHAHAHAHA Valerie: THATS A STEP UP !! Valerie: no offense coel Valerie: your were brilliant Valerie: your phone have exploded though Coel: yeah it's uncomfy warm now lmaoo Vanny: WAIT IS COEL JOINING Coel: no Valerie: HELP Coel: im literally Newton Pulsifer tonight

And a bonus...

Also, let's go back a bit to what led to this post in the first place, thanks @good-usernames-were-taken... thanks... :")

Vel: oooh we're doing a drawing game Asmi: WELL KIND OF IT'S MORE LAUGHING AT VALERIE GAME Valerie: PLEASE Valerie: SHUT UP Asmi: THERE ARE TEARS IN MY EYES GOOD GOD Tefi: Poor valerie Vanny: I'M LAUGHING SO HAD Valerie: YOU BETTER NOT MAKE A POST ABOUT THIS ON TUMBLR SHAMING ME

...wHaT cAn i sAy eXcEPt yOu'Re wElcOmE, vAlEriE?

[arolegos]

@fiberturkey89 OK HI i love treating ninjago charactes like my oc so heres the umm explanation for my morro design!!! YAP SESSION under cut cause i dont wanna flood ppl with my yapping ...

ok so to me he was a member of the cloud kingdom!!! i know this is a somewhat popular headcanon although im not sure who first came up with it. i just wanted a reason to make him look cool at first

every different realm and region has a majority species . To me . i could go on and on about each one that i Made up but for now i will focus on the CK species (plus euphrasia for additional um. idk. context?)

idk what id call the species name. ill just call them Writers . for now. Ummm as u can see i believe that their species has a LOT of wings. like a whole bunch. each person can have up to like 3 colours for their wings, with white being the main one. the colours don't have meaning Yet but idk . they're mostly whatever colour i think fit best with their character .

they also got Eyes on their wings . this would be the tertiary colour (or the same colour as secondary) . they have a Lot of feathers on their body (neck-chest, arm-wrist, around knee-ankle). They also have . featheered tails . Ok that's about as much as ill detail for their species bc i do have madeup culture for them But i don't want this to turn into a 9 paragraph yap session . I will focus on morro now

MORRO FAKE LORE! WOOHOO!!

ok so in the world where hes my oc. he was a part of the writers of destiny (or rather one in training but he lived in the cloud kingdom nonetheless) . anyways . he didn't really like the life there bc he always wanted to be More than just a writer of destiny. he wanted to be there to experience the damn thing himself, but that obviously wasn't allowed in the cloud kingdom (bc . well. u can see that theyre kinda strict on their rules (one destiny one path sort of thing or whatever) . so he eventually gets kicked out after enough misdemeanours (so probably he misbehaved like One time) . anyways they bound him to a flightless life (bc . flying was . well. a pretty big thing in a community full of people who have wings all over their body) and exiled him to Ninjago .

he cant fly back home so he doesn't. not that he would anyway. this is why he keeps his wings folded/closed almost all the time. they do not serve any purpose. he would love to chop them off if he could

he makes a few friends on the streets but theyre hardly 'friends' in the natural sense of that word.

also. in a fucked up twist of the world, he ends up being the elemental master of wind.

(this ones connected to another thing i also made up but if the Ninjago writers get to forget things and make things up at random So Can I; anyways my point is that wojira was defeated by Nyad . who was one of the two elements that matched the um amulet thing. and since she transformed into the sea i cant imagine the first EM of wind was just like Oh well okay then i guess its all over. In my mind they became one with the wind too and was probably from an even higher plane than the cloud kingdom but their powers ended up there anyway . Taken by some. Freak.)

around this time is when he meets wu and stuff. u know everything that happens from here so i will not be retelling shit but i am sooo adamant on them Not being father and son sorry. or at the very least i think it was only one-sided . i think wu wanted company and morro reminded him of a younger version of his older brother . thought of him as a 'son' bc thats the only way he could really see him. whereas morro thought wu was some stinky old man who was nice. very nice and sweet to him. promised him a destiny bigger than himself. but not a father. what even is a father? he does not see that in wu sorry . tgey will never be father and son to me . that relationship dynamic is too simple for the complexity of their relationship

yeagh well wu 'lied' about his destiny (I mean . of cours i dont actually think that way. wu kind of Had no way to tell if he really was destined to be the green ninja although It is kinda Freaked up to suggest it to a like. 10 year old. i guess he did learn his lesson . ) and morro was like Fuck u i choose my own destiny . And left and died. ok yea this is all stuff u already knew

(also i imagine he went looking for FSM's tombstone (aka he was Really just looking for the realm crystal) so he could go back home . to rewrite his own destiny. to be like Yeah i actually AM the green ninja and you cant stop me.)

okkokokk this is a bit graphic cause. believe it or not. morro dies. so like. i will be describing that a little

annywaayyyysss morro goes to the cave of despair and. gets lost. falls a bunch. at some point he realises hes like completely lost as in like to the point of no return . and while hes panicking there are Fuckinf geysers gushing out and rumbling the damn ground. he falls but he doesn't die immediately. he breaks his wings first though. not that they would've helped him fly out. but im just explaining why his wings look so wilted and like theyre just 'hanging off' in his ghost design. its bc they r. those are broken wings that cannot move naturally . he cannot keep them folded bc they are broken

his cause of death was thirst . starvation was a factor too but like. thirst got his ass first (as it would anyone). he ripped his sleeves while venturing around the cave but he did use some to try and wrap around his wounds . didn't really Help tho cause he died anyway .

Extra fucked up fake lore ? Writers have feathered tails that fall off to impending doom. as a final play on a destined fate (Dying!!!! LOL!!!!). so like days before morro dies the feathers of his tail fall off one by one until there are None left . if it makes it any better it doesn't hurt like a broken bone . just imagine if one day you woke up to your.? idk? leg gone? like it didn't hurt its just gone and you can feel that its gone but not the pain of the loss. if u get what i mean. or maybe thats not the right comparison. idk. your hair i guess?

. in his last moments his thoughts are not of any happy memories Because he straight up has none sorry gang i dont want him happy. Ok kidding im sure he thought of wu. im sure part of him wished wu had come after him. im sure a part of him wished he hadn't stepped into the cave. but i also Believe he probably welcomed death pretty nicely. with a warm hug and all. he probably leapt into that mfs arms.

anywaygsss . he gets sent to the cursed realm (Whicg is crazy im not going to lie but apparently he did a bunch of crazy shit while looking for the FSM's tomb so. maybe deserved. i dont know.) and the preeminent is like Yooo what is this freak doing here . Do my taxes. and morro is like Ok but u have to curse some realms. And the preeminent is like Yeah i already planned on doing that

also its only BC he went to the cursed realm that his wings are black in his ghost form!!! it looks more decayed and Cursed that way

ok yeah thats all the stuff i made up i think . unless i missed something. i dont think i did

also Lloyd would not have had his wings while he was being possessed . he only had like traces of them (ghost feathers would fall off his back when he moved but they weren't /actually/ there . it confused the fuck out of the ninja the first time. they were like Woah your voice got deeper. Why are you shedding feathers.)

morro is my favourite fucked up evil OC im so thankful they didn't give him a redemption arc thank yiu so much i love it when villains refuse to be redeemed even when given the chance im cheering adn clapping. morro never get revived. thank you.

[grilledcheese-aspiration]

a discussion idea! (long post)

my husband and i were chatting last night while cleaning up dinner; he pitched a fun idea that could be a great topic of discussion in the simblr community. maybe this should be a SQotD submission - IDK but: he asked how i feel about sims 2 expansion packs now compared to when they came out. initially, i said "yeh idk, i guess the same?" and that was that.

i put a more thought towards his question and realized, i do feel a bit differently about some of the EPs now compared to when they came out - all under the cut!

university: i was SO SO excited about it bc i didnt go away to college like my friends did so it was a way to vicariously-ish get the experience and a bonus was zombies! now tho? yea i still enjoy it even tho the dormies eventually start pissing me off bc theyre just so damn dumb lmao

nightlife: same level of excitement. i LOVE cities and i love vampires too. this scratched the "i need to go downtown chicago" itch when i couldnt from lack of transportation and safey being a v smol person afraid of the worst. i played all my sims in "downtown", specifically, 107 Custer Blvd. I made-over that lot dozens of times, it's seen dozens of different families and had a million different lifetimes. Nightlife still stands as my fave TS2 EP and 107 Custer - my all-time favorite lot to play.

open for business: initially, i had ZERO excitement over this pack. i personally, right out of high school basically, had NO interest in working myself (i didnt, i went to community college and got by ok w/ chore-money basically) so why the hell would i want to put my sims to work too?? i also didnt care for the music (i like it more now tho) as an Adult - i do enjoy this pack more than i ever did when i was a clueless near-20-yo. also, love the servos but i dont play w them nearly as much as i should being a bot fan and all. (i should fix that)

pets&seasons: i was pumped for these bc MORE IMMERSION AND REAL LIFE STUFF!!! also, weather and animals LOL. i still love these packs the same as i did when they initially released. just kinda wish plantsims werent annoying for me to play, i love them from afar tho! werewolves are neat but theyre also kind of a PITA to play.

bon voyage: EH i dont really go on vaca a lot myself, my sims dont either for the same reasons: money! im also still scarred from the one time i did send my sims on vaca and they got STUCK THERE!!! it broke all my shit and i had no way of fixing it bc i didnt know about MTS, MATY and etc to ask for help/guidance. RIP to that family lmao i hope theyre still having a nice time in the vaca-void theyre prob still floating around in! (note: ive never found bigfoot, some day i wish to!)

freetime: we all have hobbies right? it was all fine and good until the fire nation attacked i was being inundated with a ton of hobby spam, be it notifications, the hobby sims and the lots. it was a lot. its far more manageable now thanks to mods so i dont mind playing into hobbies. i do appreciate the return of the genie tho!

apartment life: ok, look. i thought this was super cool then but now, after living in apartments myself, i despise them and dont put my sims in them anymore either. i do love the witches tho, prob my fave aspect of this pack!

edit to add rankings: nightlife, seasons, pets, apartment life, uni, ofc, free time then bon voyage lmao

id be interested to hear/read you guys' comparison's to the different EPs we have for Sims 2 or any of the sims games tbh. id go over The Sims but i dont have all day lmao ill make a different post on that some time bc i always get in my feels over the OG.

[lichtecht]

What are your thoughts about girl dfk justraucher? I'm trying to think of what their past might have looked like but I'm kind of coming up blank. Did they still take part in the war in some way? Would the Nichtraucher have still had a child? Would Dr Bökh have felt the pressure to also get married? I wonder if their dynamic would be changed by the fact that Judith is now also kind of a social misfit (? how do i say that in english. she's a különc) as a single woman in her 30s with a career in academia. In canon I feel like Johann is seen as a perfectly respectable person while Robert is kind of the odd one who rejected his cozy socially acceptable way of life and ran away to do something entirely different. I mean I guess Barbara-the-single-woman-chainsmoker-living-alone-in-a-train-wagon and Judith-the-single-woman-boarding-school-supervisor-slash-geography-teacher are still not on the same level of socially unacceptable but. where was going with this actually

YEAH you are so right

it’s way more socially acceptable for a man to be unmarried and work as a teacher (even if he ideally should have a wife and kids and all that jazz) than it is for a woman. and especially considering johann/judith doesn’t seem to have any family left either??

like i do think that impacts her life a lot. and it might play a role in why she chose this profession in the first place? maybe her mother was also a single woman working in a male-dominated field and judith chose to work as a teacher partly as a tribute to her mother? additionally to wanting to be a safe place for students?

i think being a safe place for young girls especially also adds an interesting layer. depending on if we genderswap all of the cast or if a majority of the teachers are men teaching at an all girls boarding school

about their pasts; those are all very good questions……

i like the idea of the nichtraucher working as a field nurse or something. this sounds so cruel but the trauma fits her and since you mentioned her child im thinking maybe that works as an alternative backstory? that the nichtraucher worked as a field nurse and met her future husband there (he could've been a soldier or maybe he was also a doctor?) and they got married after the war ended but the husband kept some kind of terminal illness or injury that took his life ????? im just throwing things around here

like i feel if it was her who was pregnant and maybe had a miscarriage that changes the emotion attached to that sad memory? it’d be something that directly happened to HER instead of her being a helpless bystander who couldn’t do anything to stop her loved ones from dying i think it would work fine if we cut her child out and its just her husband that died (most film adaptations didn’t mention the child either)

tbh i can’t see how dr bökh might’ve been involved in the war. all i can imagine is that she stayed home finishing her education while her best friend/lover went to the front lines and the kind of heartbreak and worry of that?? if we make them both a little older that could potentially even be their backstory and how they lost contact. its kinda giving 2003 70s justraucher with the not knowing if the nichtraucher made it out alive perhaps they were partly in contact over letters and that’s how judith knew about barbara’s husband and his death, but then they lost contact after that?? idk if the timeline even makes sense here

[jesskasb]

Ok but which drv3 fic are you reading. And is it good so far

it's "amalgamate" by doctorhaifisch !! and it is good so far yeah! really elaborate answer under the cut, i went on about this for longer than i shouldve. sorry. ill take any opportunity to ramble about v3. :']

based on the hits and the amount of fanart ive seen of it, it seems everyone and their mother has read it... however ive been purposely living under a 2 bedroom rock for like 4 years so ive only gotten around to it now after seeing an artist i follow say it made them reconsider a few things about ouma and it made them like kaito and realize how intelligent he is and how fascinating his role in chapter 5 was— and i was like wow, that must be a based fucking fic! it took me years to see kaito more than just a loud guy with a savior complex, and now that im a huge fan of him, i wanted to see what kind of fic could open someone's eyes to his awesomeness.

i check it out *really* skeptically, mainly cause i dont trust most people's depiction of ouma. they either make him genuinely not give a shit about things and just be a terrible person for no reason, or they make him too emo in a way he simply isnt. the main reason i even gave it a shot despite never having read a v3 fic in the 6 yrs ive been a fan, is that it said that the tags say the whole fic could be interpreted platonically (#AROWIN) (god knows im not against oumota but i prefer them as friends by a really substantial amount) and the amount of research the author seemed to have poured into strike 9 poison and its real world pesticide counterpart. the art they attached to chapter 1 was really good, too, so that made me curious.

now im in chapter 10/20 and i can say with confidence ive been having a great time. its plenty obvious the author has a lot of love for all of the characters, and even though i thought i could gain no new opinions since i already love ouma and kaito's potential dynamic and everything to do with chapter 5, i ended up being very pleasantly suprised by himiko's depiction here! i cant say im too big of a fan of her, not due to any actual fault in her character but rather kodaka's failings to do anything actually interesting with her. in chapter 9, this author used her untapped potential in a really heartwarming way that i loved. similarly, i have enjoyed seeing their portrayal of kaito and ouma, and it seems there's going to be an arc for ouma to begin seeing his classmates not only as people whose lives are worth saving as much as any other, but to see them as friends and letting them become close with him. ive always been a firm believer that in a non-kg setting ouma could become super close friends with a small handful of people, but this fic is making me reconsider that— maybe its more! another thing im really enjoying are all the fascinating possibilities that the author is exploring for a world in which ouma lives to see chapter 6 and the consequences of his actions. him being there while people investigate his room? most amusing. its all stuff that happens in chapter 5 and 6 until a certain point— just enough to get these two chumps to live, and then... well, i guess ill see how chapter 6 turns out, but as of right now ive been super intrigued and entretained.

i do also have a couple of complaints, but theyre mostly pet peeves and no deal breakers so far: there have been a loooot of pop culture referenced but they all feel in line with stuff kodaka would write so whatever, the author uses italics way more than id like... in the chapters up until 9 there were constant descriptions of kaito seeing ouma as a Kid, and while that in an of itself is true (he is a 17 yr old) the context began feeling a little infantalizing and like kaito himself wasnt 17 as well. theres noticeably less of this in chapter 9 and what ive read of 10, or when theres references to them being kids it includes everyone and theres even a moment where kaito tells ouma theyre the same damn age lol. theres also been a bunch of moments that are clearly very indulgent of ship dynamics and inclinations im not too fond of (particularly between ouma and shuichi) but like i said, nothings been too much of a dealbreaker since the positives far outweigh the negatives!

im currently on a trip where i dont have signal most of the time so i got the epub of the fic to read on the downtime. im def gonna keep reading it, and im excited to see where its going despite some of the cheesy lines such as

(honestly i cant even complain. i dont care its a reference to the title of the game. he Would say that....)

i mean, really, it's such a good depiction of ouma. all his masks, his paranoia, his insecurities, his determination to stop the killing game, the way hes been helping the group while simultaneously remaining isolated, and the way his lies are an extension of his genius but also a constant tool to test his peers. i feel like i dont get to see all of these elements of him expanded upon so extensively like this fic does, and that alone makes me really respect what the author is doing! the word count may be scary but i think youd get something from the fic even if you only read like 5-6 chapters. so yeah in conclusion id recommend it if you give a shit about v3 and are interested in chapter 5 fix it fics LOL

[youremyheaven]

Your perspective on astrology is unique in that it cuts through the bullshit. I like how quick you are to point out what is obviously woman-bashing propaganda from centuries past, and what is actually plausible and in-tune with the nature of the sign/nakshatra. However, I am actually really curious about your perspective on monogamy? There are some ideas circulating in feminist circles that monogamy was enforced to benefit men (to ensure that the offspring is theirs) at the expense of women's freedom and choice. For example, in one of your older posts, you implied that an evolved Venus in Aries would be more willing to accommodate a monogamous relationship, despite the placement having a reputation for being more... sexually liberal, I guess. Or that a Venus in Gemini is fickle only when they're unevolved, wherein the implication is that flings are only for the unevolved and the relationships endgoal is a strictly monogamous relationship. Then again, I am pretty sure you made those observations based on tropical astrology, so maybe there's a different way to look at it from vedic.

I'm really conflicted on this myself, I guess I can definitely see where both ways of thinking are coming from. It'd be lovely to hear your current perspective, if you are willing to share. Thank you for your work!

those posts are from atleast one year ago and i will admit most of my early work on tropical astrology is a bit shallow.

that said, i dont think monogamy curtails women's freedom or choice. do i find "monogamy" empowering? not necessarily but i also dont find casual sex "empowering". the truth is there is no winning either way. marriage/monogamy is an institution that is deeply flawed but what is the opposite of it? having as many partners as one wants? maybe it suits some but (and i know ill get flak for saying this) an "evolved" person is one who abstains or exercises self-control. not just with regard to sex but with any kind of indulgence, be it alcohol, drugs etc. i think its really flawed to view "freedom" as the ability to consume limitlessly. anybody who lives like that will tell you how self-destructive that is. you indulge too much (in anything) and you risk your own ruin.

we need structure, order and stability, otherwise we feel disoriented and spiritually lost. ive never looked at someone who's partying every night, doing a cocktail of 10 substances and waking up in a different person's house every morning and thought "wow they're so free!!". i know this is a very binary way of thinking and not what you intended to ask but im just airing my thoughts out.

as corny and cheesy as it sounds, i think the only thing that makes a partnership between two people "right" is love. a lot of men want a bangmaid or they just want to bang. neither of which is empowering for the women involved. im not trying to say that sex in itself is disempowering but that the ways in which men who only want sex from you treat you are. casual sex or having multiple sexual partners is fun but ive always felt like its disingenuous to call it empowering bc i dont think empowerment is something we get from having sex??? i feel like sex positivity has become a way for men and women to delude other women into thinking that they'll be happier or "freer" if they have more sex.

i dont want to be someone's sexdoll and neither do i want to be bangmaid.

but i believe in love and the highest form of love is consideration. the only way we can transcend systemic issues is if we have love for each other because if you love someone, you will value them, prioritize them, respect them and do whatever it takes to make things easier for them. expecting servitude and sex from women means you've never loved anybody in your life lol. i dont really think equality can exist or will exist simply because our world is really imbalanced but i do think individually we can champion each other and help each other rise up, if we move through the world with love and grace. i dont expect anything from "men" and atp i dont want to associate with them anyway but i do believe a man in love is one who will extend grace and id never feel like i needed anything else (from another man).

all of this is just my perspective and i will admit its vvv hard for me to find a man attractive or feel "connected" to him. i feel pretty asexual if im not seeing someone and i can only be intimate with someone i love and connect to deeply. this is why things i say or describe in my posts often dont have sexuality in them or are monogamy centered. that said, im not an advocate for it or anything, everyone above the age of 18 can do what they like and make decisions for themselves<3

[fablecore]

i was curious what you thought of the live-action One Piece now that season one is out! personally, i have the same compliants as Geoff of Mother's Basement (youtu.be/43K-H_dtQ9g?si=2n0MLLPmdw0vARk7) where, personally, my main compliants were (1) how clean some of these well-worn outfits and set-pieces were and the bigger one was (2) how Garp was altered but i, like Geoff, have my hopes that s2 can fix that by showing that this is the experience (mostly part from Mihawk) that changed Garp into more of the Garp we see in the manga. "a high 8 or low 9 out of 10" indeed. overall, i think its okay as an adaptation! i like Sanji's perviness being toned down, i dont mind most of the shuffling and changing because it is an adaptation with timeslots and seasons unlike a limitless manga with arcs however long it wants. i can understand if you or others dont like the live-action adaptation though! i just like that it was a good gateway to help me turn some of my friends into One Piece fans, less scared of how BIG One Piece is now the live-action has given them a limited taste, towards the manga or the OnePace.net-editted version of the anime (though i do still plan to have them watched some of the anime-only filler that is fun lmao maybe ill throw a sleepover or something, idk, i just like how OnePace fine-tunes the padded-out pacing problem the later One Piece episodes have) thats the main plus of the live-action adaptation to me

but im curious about your thoughts if you have any?? its okay if you never plan to watch it, i know a few other fans like that and i dont mean for my wuestion to be all peer-pressure-y or anything ♡

i've never heard of onepace until now! i'm in the same boat, i've been watching opla with my sister who's kind of interested in starting one piece but is also intimidated by the anime's episode count. maybe we can watch onepace instead. thanks for letting me know ☺️

i've only seen the first two episodes (but don't care at all about spoilers and have seen a lot already). i didn't like the first episode, zoro particularly, but the second was fun! well... it was camp. combined, i would give it the verdict of "aggressively okay" but this isn't a judgement on anyone who liked it. if you did, i'm happy you had a good time. i just have cinema brain.

what i liked so far: helmeppo's >:O face and his puma trainers. the vfx team in charge of luffy's rubberyness. buggy's "surprise, shithead!" nami's den den mushi earpiece/cellphone.

the rest:

zoro’s zombified no energy go girl give us nothing monotone. 😐 <- why did they tell him to make this face in every shot

they cut the scene where luffy gives zoro his swords back and replaced it with helmeppo ass

"a man needs to be strong. but he also needs to be good.” you are going to cut off a pirate rookie's arm and then obliterate his ship and crew later 👍

what is this whole thing about being "morally good" and "one of the good guys" and "a good pirate" it's ICKY

justice for silly winky vain nami. how are they going to do the personality shift into broody serious arlong park nami when she's been broody and serious the whole time

nami spent like 30 minutes unlocking one (1) locked cage. i guess it's because she and zoro needed to talk/get some exposition in, and i'm not going to suggest a better option because i don't want to rewrite half the script. i just found it amusing because normally it's "suspend your disbelief when a character does something amazing for the plot" and not "when a character is noticeably worse at something they really have no business being this bad at. for the plot"

i'm starting to think that zoro and nami lost core personality traits because the writers wanted them to be luffy foils instead of their actual characters

i did hear taz was the best/most charismatic actor out of the straw hats. i'm assuming this is because they let him be sanji instead of making him into a luffy foil since they have enough luffy foils

cameraperson's love affair with low angle closeups and fisheye lens. i don't hate it (it's camp) just pointing it out

i'm literally so serious about mackenyu's insufferable zoro voice. whenever i hear him talk in that joyless southern california kardashian vocal fry my blood pressure shoots through the roof. who made him do that

even though i have issues with the writing, i think objectively opla has done a decent job of pleasing fans. i'm not one of them but i know there's a lot. but on a technical and artistic level... deep sigh palms pressed together listen... i was hoping for spellbinding artistry from the showrunners. beautifully lit scenes, beautiful camerawork, excellent technical chops, lingering shots of luffy's bruised knuckles, the slightly frayed fabric on zoro's swords, a super close-up of a log pose with the crew talking behind the compass needle, their bodies distorted by the glass. fingerprints on kerosene lamps. barnacles on rotting wood. a searingly hot-blue summer sky (super saturated in post) over shells town or wherever. i wanted lush gorgeous rich interesting artistic ideas from the directors and cinematographers. i haven't seen any of that so far, and what i have seen doesn't compel me to watch more. i'm not saying the actual cinematography was bad! just. okay. it was okay.

(but also some of the nighttime/underlit scenes are bad. put a dang key light on your actors 🤺)

concluding thoughts: at the end of the day, if netflix wants to keep throwing millions per episode at tomorrow studios, i'm fine with overlooking mediocre filmmaking and storytelling. i want everyone in the production crew to get their bag. i hope this show runs for another 50 seasons and is powered by union labor forever and ever until the end of time amen

[putyourcigaretteoutonmyback]

────────────────────────────

do i,

one person out of eight billion, on a planet that's bathing in a sea of stars and galaxies,

even matter ?

────────────────────────────

if i was gone it wouldn't affect the world all that much, maybe the people around me, but that's temporary. we all die anyways, don't we? people say life is short yet it feels so, so long despite how the days will pass me by. how ill sit in bed doing the same things, scrolling on this phone, recognizing I should get off, get up, go do something, yet still, I remain unmoved. in my bed. on my phone. and the next days the same, and the next, and the next. my days are all spent the same, what good does living do me, really.

one small person in a universe full of things that have far more potential then ill ever have or live up to. a quit exit would be taking pills, or jumping in the river only a quick drive from me, maybe drown myself in the pool.

ive planned it in my head, sort of anyways. i could sneak out in the middle of the night, walk hours just to find the bridge, to feel the cold railing before ive sunken beneath it. or i could take a ton of pills, though that's not guaranteed. neither of them are i suppose. its funny, really, how suicides something ill always think about. it's the only constant on my mind; even if im happy, out with my friends or family, it lingers. what if this is the last time i see them? the last time they see me. it gets worse when I'm sad. killing myself would take evey feeling ive ever felt away, and id be gone.

i wonder if death is peaceful, i wonder what happens once we die. everyone does, i think, yet it remains unanswered until it happens. tons of reasons to stay, but tons to leave. sometimes i think about how if i do have another life after this, ill never know since it won't actually be me, it won't be my second life because itll be someone completely different. theyll have a different name and face, a different conscience because they won't be me. ill be dead, and someone else will live their life.

when you put it like that, do second lives even exist? if it won't be someone with the same conscience, someone who won't know of your existence, then really, it's just someone else.

“ in my next life I want — ” not your next life, someone else's life. someone completely different. and sometimes, i wanna be something, i wanna be everything, but thatll never be possible. i cant live every life, study every animal whilst learning of every movie ever made. i cant read every book written or listen to all the music that was created on this planet, and that frustrates me.

alot.

i wanna be soft, gentle, but at the same time, i wanna be loud and confident. i wanna get better, to live without the need to criticize my every move, every feature on my body or every word i said, but at the same time, i wanna get sick, be the worst i can be. cut my skin every day, go weeks without food, stop showering, give up, all in the hopes someone notices. to simply let go, to see how it feels, to see if it's any better then trying to be good, to be kind, better then putting in the effort to get out of bed every day, to shower, to do laundry.

back to suicide, i guess. its a sin, isnt it. but is god real? so many things yet to be proven. if god were real, why would he waste time with such insignificant things such as humans, much less care about the sexuality of someone or what they choose to believe in. god is cruel, afterall. someone could spend their whole life being good whilst believing in a religion other than christianity, and guess what. to hell they go. someone who's suffering, who sees suicide as their only way out, to hell. the rapist of someone who committed because of them, they repent and suddenly their a saint. to heaven, of course. what makes someone a good person, really? is if how often they compliment others, is it whether or not they pick up the money someone dropped and return it to them? to be a good person must you believe in certain things, does your past define how good you are? what does it take to be defined as good.

life is unfair, really. you're born into a body, into a family, you're raised, taken care of, unless you arent. the people you're surrounded by as you grow completely dictate who you become, and you cant control that. the body you've got from your mom, the addiction gene from your father, the nose and face you hate from generations before, stuff you get stuck with. you can't change most things, sure, workout, starve, do as you please but that doesn't change the structure of your bones or the people who made you. plastic surgery is expensive, and youll be called fake anyways, so is it worth it? I wonder why it's so hard to like myself.

i really dislike my face, my body, my personality and my voice. the little comments people make, whether they intend to cause harm or to not. they linger within my mind, floating in a thousand other thoughts i have yet to think deeper about. i guess thats what im doing right now. i would be journaling this but my hands hurt, so now whoever sees this gets to decide if they wanna read this. thats probably why i made this account. to rant, to vent.

something i really can't imagine is being anything older then I am right now. being an adult, growing up, it seems so impossible but i know it's not because i see it all around me every day. maybe it's because since from a young age, i always thought id be dead. that id kill myself before the age i am now, before i ever got to be a parent or employee. i still think that, probably, because i still wanna kill myself and its still set in my mind. “ i wont be anything more then what i am right now. ”

maybe its true, maybe its not.

the question “ what do you wanna be when you grow up ” was always hard for me. i never knew, i mean, my childish dreams of being a youtuber were there but that's it. i have no idea who i am or who i wanna be. theres so many jobs, but only so much time to do them, so many careers require a certain course in school, which tends to be expensive. what if i choose something i end up hating? what if im stuck for the rest of my life and miserable. im scared of growing up, of making the wrong choice.

on that topic, sex. its scary, really scary. what if i lose it to the wrong person? of course, i could wait till marriage, but divorce is always a possibility so even then. who would i consider the right person? im not sure. itll probably hurt, what if they see me naked and change their mind? someone seeing me naked is scary. maybe ill just die a virgin, lame, but atleast i won't have to be vulnerable. what if I bleed and he says ew, what if it goes wrong, what if what if what if.

my mind is full of what ifs, always. what if the hangout I have planned goes wrong? what if I get made fun of? maybe I think too much.

thats probably it for now, read it or don't, I wish tumblr said how many words it had. maybe it does, not sure, anyways, bye.

[nefelegies]

sry if you’ve answered this question before but will you ever continue your neocities comic ? :3 I whole heartedly love it ever since I discovered it a year or two ago

no don't worry i haven't! putting a cut because this is an extremely long and non simple answer read at your own peril

the reason the comic went on hiatus to begin with is actually that i was starting to feel really weird about the high school setting??? this may sound stupid but shinji was a character i first created when i was 16 and given that i'm now 21 it was just no longer a type of story i related to much or felt compelled to tell. especially now, almost 2 years into the hiatus, i am almost done with my undergraduate education as well, so it becomes harder and harder for me to bridge the gap in my writing. i also feel like the maturity of certain themes i wanted to write about are ill suited to the setting.

additionally, after taking a few months break from writing during a period of time when i was very very unhappy with all my work, i kind of exploded shinji as a character and changed a fair amount of his personality & character motivations. i felt like the way i used to conceptualize him was kind of juvenile compared to how i wanted him to come off, and i felt like i was not setting myself up to do a good job with his personality. if i was to pick the comic back up as it currently stands, not only would i have to contrive in a time skip to get to where i want (that being the characters in college) which would really mess with my previously established pacing and how the events are meant to build (because if the action is supposed to escalate over a few months, why even include all the buildup from 3 years before? just feels like a false start), but i would also have to mess with the tone and stylization of dialogue and how shinji is portrayed in a way that would, again, make the beginning of the comic pointless (imo) because it wouldn't contribute or relate at all to the meat of the story.

another sticking point i have had in restarting has been a kind of silly one-- i have not lived for any significant period of time in japan, despite visiting the university in sapporo, so i feel like i know woefully little about the life of a university student in japan and what that looks like day to day, which would seriously get in the way of a simply aged-up reboot. to the extent that i wasn't sure what the point of keeping it set in japan would even be. like what am i making a commentary on if i'm writing about a college culture i know nothing about? i feel like i would much rather satirize or criticize the college culture in the united states, since that's where i'm studying. also:: the highschool setting was originally meant as a satire on wish fulfillment slice of life manga (including american wannabe webtoons) that is needlessly set in highschool, but in one of those "satire requires clarity of purpose" type crises, i think i felt like i was moreso parroting tropes than saying anything meaningful about them, and the character of shinji was undeniably created out of 16 year old weebery and the fact that i was studying japanese in school and wanted to practice my kanji on people's names 😭.... so i guess to sum THIS point up, the idea of a continuation or reboot puts me in a weird place with regards to setting, as i don't see the value of me writing about a university experience im not familiar with and don't have much way of ever knowing intimately. even though i could definitely still use the lens of general anime escapism and wish fulfillment when writing about a college student, i just don't really know if it's my place at all to be criticizing this phenomenon as someone who doesn't live in japan if that makes sense. like at that point why am i not just writing about american twitter users with hentai addictions who i have much more close and personal interactions with

finally, and this is not so much a major factor in my thoughts here (somehow) but is worth mentioning: the comic was primarily written during some extremely stressful months-years of my life, and i honestly struggle to get in whatever the hell headspace i was in when i was writing it. like what was going on in my brain. a lot for sure

that being said, i really miss writing osk. having a project like that to work on was really nice! i miss the characters (especially the revamped older versions that no one has actually gotten to experience :( ) and i miss how much it forced me to create. i have not stopped thinking about it at any point since i went on hiatus to be honest and i'm just really stuck on where to go. i cant continue it in its current form (i would be unhappy with it) but i can't think of a good way forward either, and even if i restart it completely (which is POSSIBLE and maybe even the most likely option) i really can't figure out how to tackle the setting.

this is probably not the answer you were expecting i am very sorry it is so long. i just have been stewing on it for a while and really wanted to get it all down in one place

[skoulsons]

you know what time it is. my scrambled thoughts. took me an hour and a half to finish the ep 🥴

-

TLOU EP2

people have said this ep is really good and intense so I’m excited

HERE WE GO

where are we

OH JAKARTA

we going back to two days before it broke out it looks like cause the 24th

Oooh police? What did she do

I think every ep is gonna start with a flashback so that’s cool

or is she like a doctor or something and knows something about the fungus?

she looks distressed?

Ibu ratna okay. Prof of mycology so they need her to inspect the cordyceps or something

I remember seeing a pic of her floating around

my episode froze why

Ophiocordyceps

A HUMAN?

cant survive in humans suree

oh dear is this person gonna be a clicker already or something

oh no okay it’s just her corpse

EUGH I hate surgery stuff and cutting like that

is she gonna wake up I fear

This is so gross please

OH MY FORHDKF that’s horrifying

bro I feel sick wth

FLOUR AND GRAIN FACTORY people were right

so she bit three people and they were all taken into observation

oh fourteen that’s a lot

listening carefully

“There is no vaccine” you’re damn right thank you joel

BOMB alright cool

it’s gonna be hiroshima all over again

was that too much im sorry

no she wants to be with her family before they all die :(

INTROOOOOO

oh the music. gustavo I love you

I cant skip this intro it’s too good man

and the little Joel and Ellie <3

alright back to reality

look at her sleeping. she’s so tiny

they really put butterflies everywhere in this show

her bed hair 😭

did they just shove her in a room or something and tell her to go to sleep

OH THEYRE STARING AT HER AOFHSKDHJER

I feel like I just experienced whiplash

oh cause she’s infected

sir that’s the second time you’ve aimed a gun at her in the last two days

im only 11 minutes in at this rate I’ll never get through this episode

“Don’t worry about that” “well I’m gonna” 😭

“there’s not gonna be anything bad in here” “just you” “oh funny” STOPPP I cant wait to get moments like these where they’re smiling

Joel :((

holy crap. “You need to stop talking about this kid like she’s got some kind of life in front of her”

“Guess not you guys” 😭

joel being scared of Tess going over to Ellie bc he doesn’t want her to get hurt :( the end of this ep is gonna suck real bad

“You must’ve heard that he wants to shoot you” :(

THE FACE PALM

“She told me not to tell anybody and now I’m telling the first people that i-“ this is so Ellie. it’s about the vaccine isn’t it

YUP

Joel knowing exactly what she was saying 😭

FUCK YOU MAN I DIDNT ASK FOR THIS THATS FROM THE GAMEEEE

Tess having to be their mediator

I GET IT!? damn no

her making the clicks 😭

I can’t believe I get to see my little comfort character in live action whisper an “okay” and throw his hands outwards. I love you joel miller

ILL JUST THROW A SANDWICH AT THEM

the chirping birds :)

I hope there’s a little instinctive moment where Joel protects her this ep. IM YEARNING FOR IT (I got it :D)

man those buildings look gnarly

I love how Joel just keeps walking while Tess indulges her questions. he’s so annoyed 😭

they’re such a little family 🫶🏻

oh I’m dumb I had captions this whole time and never put them on

GUSTAVOOOO

NO YOURE JOKING THE LITTLE GIRAFFE TOY. REALLY. REALLY NEIL.

Joel’s just causally eavesdropping cause he won’t talk to her directly but is also still curious

TESS IS SUCH A MOM

Riley :/

you got some balls on you sister 💀

I know I said this last week but Joel really has the “too tired for this shit” plastered on his face all the time and it’s delightful

the scenery is phenomenal

ooh mention of spores

they’ve really got the whole “Ellie bombarding them with questions and inquiring about every little thing” down

OOH CLICKER CLICK. that was loud too

AW LITTLE DUCKS LOOK AT THEM

and a frog too 😭

OH YEHA SHE CANT SWIM

“Have you heard of books?” 💀 he’s SO done with her

NO SMART ASS. his little jump to show her it’s not deep 😭

HIM REACHING HIS HAND TO HELP HER UP <33333333

HE PULLED AWAY SO AGGRESSIVELY

this whole set is so good

YOU TRY CLIMBING TEN FLOORS WITH OUR KNEES. they’re so old this is so cute

ARE WE GONNA GET HIM BOOSTING YHEM UP YES

he won’t even grab her shoulder to shove her aside. mans grabbed a fist full of her hoodie and backpack 😭

“I’m gonna need a few minutes” boy I hope this joelellie convo goes well

ELLIE STOP FLIPPING THE KNIFE

“The circus” he’s so tired

AWW HONESTY ABOUT WHERE HES FROM <3

he’s downplaying her knowledge so much I love this

NOT HER ASKING ABOUT THEM

“PASS”

“no more questions about me” :(

this direction is beautiful. neil I take back anything bad I’ve said about you

OH I THOUGJT YOU WENT TO SCHOOL. he’s so snippy

was that a hint of him smiling. was it. or is my brainrot convincing me of things. WAS IT. she said it’s a really shitty one and it cuts to him I SWEAR THE LOOK ON HIS FACE AND HIS EYES I SWEAR

“sometimes” :( he looks like he’s thinking abt sarah

their height difference bro I can’t wait til they hug

NO WAS SHE BIT BACK THERE?? or no

im trying to cut these into small sections so… next section I guess?

wow. that’s a lot of bodies

all the infected noises wow

wow that’s incredibly scary

ooh the fungus being like a hive mind sort of thing? Interesting

MUSEUMMM

ooh he was testing it

“did Marlene pack you one of these or just sandwiches?” 😭

“I HAVE A SPARE HAND” “CONGRATULATIONS” they’re so funny. if y’all could see the grin on my face

this is so spooky

that guy is messed up

JOELS FACE SHUSHING HER

“from this point forward, we are silent” yes sir whatever you say sir <3

this building is really falling apart

Joel turning back to look a them :’)

these first two eps have a lot of trailer shots which is good

the bodies look so gnarly

why did Joel look so soft opening that door. he just looks so 🤏🏻

oh look, a rare untouched room. not for long

CLICKER TIME RIGHT?

him helping Ellie up :’’’)

wow that’s a gorgeous shot of their lights lighting up the dust from the debris

oh my gosh dude

DUDE THE CLICKER ISBSO GOOD

joel has a tear in his eye telling her to be quiet. I might just 🕳👩‍🦯

ITS SO FREAKY

NOT A SECONF ONE?

it’s right there EUGH

they look so good dude

he sees Ellie he’s going over to get her

his backpack almost hit her in the face 😭

ITS SO CLOSE TO HIS FACE

CLOSE YOUR MOUTH JOEL

this is a serious scene but I can’t help but look at Ellie holding the flashlight on the clicker while joel fires and immediately being reminded of all the times my dad has had to fix something and I have to hold the flashlight over his shoulder while he yells at me to hold it better

HIM GRABBING HER TO PUSH HER BEHIND HIM

oh she was bit a second time I THOUGHT SHE WAS

“If it was gonna happen to ONE of us” mmmm not quite true

ROOF SCENE ROOF SCENE ROOF SCENE ROOF SCENE

“For once, maybe we could actually win” :/she’s acting like this bc she’s bit and she doesn’t get to win

WORD FOR WORD? WORD FOR WORD!

he looks sm softer looking at her :(

THE WATCH GLANCE

that ladder is so unstable

last ten mins

man she’s in such a rush to get there :/ Joel’s suspicious

EUGH was that crushing his head? sheesh

that bloods looking pretty fresh

oh here we go

oh that’s disgusting okay

Here we goooo

“That’s not my home” why does it look like that broke Joel.

OUR LUCK HAD TO RUN OUT SOONER OR LATER

SHE INFECTED

NO JOEL LOOKS SO

NOT THE BACK AWAY??

on her neck still wow.

OOPS RIGHT

she’s shaking already :(

YOU GET HER THERE YOU KEEP HER ALIVE AND YOUBSET EGRRYTHING RIGHT. ALL THE SHIT WE DID

HES CRYINGGGGG DONT LOOK AT ME HIS EYES ARE RED

we the tendrils are OH OH OH THEYRE WAKING UP OH THE WHOLE CROWD IS WAKING UP

joel baby you gotta go

NOT JOELS BREATH HITCHING

SAVE WHO YOU CAN SAVE *immediately grabs Ellie*

Tess :(

LH THRYRE SO GROSS

I hate that

joel :((

Tess went out like a hero tho what a champ

12/10 episode!! So freaking good

[worldofgoo]

yayayay yippee (≧◡≦) i love how vibrant & lively your art is, i think my fav pieces are Horse Surgery & hanyuu (even tho i have no idea who that is) but that one wip with the rainbow is also v ery special 2me because it reminds me of my fav kind of weather ^_^ generic Which Program Do You Use question & also which programs have you tried so far? which one would you recommend for someone whose only experience so far wiht digital art has been scribbling in ms paint -_-? on topic, what do you draw with (mouse, phone, drawing tablet, ??) & was it easy for you to get used to digital art? i always get overwhelmed by the amound of different functions available so im not sure where to even start, any advice? which physical art forms do you like / would you like to learn (anything at all, i personally have been getting into air dry clay... well actually ive been using my sisters playdoh but maybe ill purchase smthn fancier :3) & final question how do you come up with poses to draw? your characters (+creatures) seem very animated and i really like that :)

HI okay i guess ill answer these in a list. actually will put it under the cut since i ended up saying a lot (and dw i enjoy being able to talk a lot so thank you!)

-THANK YOU im glad some of my more recent works (in my more current style) are appealing 2 people! like i wanna draw my own way even though i think it gets less notes... the higurashi fanarts (hanyuu and shion) r very memorable pieces to me because its when i started doing the loose sketches with the thin lines and block colors and thats the direction i reallyreally wanted to take my style in. also the rainbow is rian my friend rian

-i draw in paint tool sai! the only program i used before that was sketchbook pro, which i didnt like because the brushes were kind of... blurry/smudgy? sai allows you to zoom in and draw pixel by pixel which is something i like, and i like the way it does its blending. its also just easier for me to understand. i didnt pay for it i think i found some deviantart page that had the link, id have to find it again

-i draw with a wacom intuos tablet! its lasted me... almost 10 years now. ive heard newer ones are poorer quality in terms of at least the nibs needing to be replaced constantly, so idk what the most recommended tablet these days is. ive drawn with my mouse and tbh it caused awful hand pain so i would not recommend this. i draw on my phone with my finger sometimes but i find doing it on my laptop easier, however it is doable once you get used to it

-the way i got into digital art... well. i still have an archive of my earliest art if you wanna see! i was 14 n just drew random shit, often lining over doodles i did on paper and coloring them in. i think esp if youre overwhelmed start with making like throwaway experimental pieces, scribble around, doodle stupid things and color them in with different brushes and see what you enjoy. and then you can just keep the files to yourself if they dont look too good or maybe itll look interesting, it depends i guess haha. the other thing that ive always found helped me was telling myself id draw every day even if it was a little scribble or the tiniest amount of work on a wip bc getting a habit going helped my art a Lot beause it helped me spend more time thinking n focusing on it

more specific advice for sai that i found useful- using clipping groups & the preserve opacity functions are both lifesavers in terms of not spending so much time trying to color in the lines. if you color in a base layer you can just put everything above it as a clipping group and just not worry about it anymore. i also really like using the filters (like multiply) to mess around with the colors a drawing has, though sometimes its more effective to just select a layer/individual color and fuck with the hue/saturation/etc until it looks good. when i color, esp when its not turning out how i wanted to, i rely on shifting colors A LOT. n also mixing colors together using a blending brush and then colorpicking the intermediate color. very useful

-for the most part i stick to uncolored pencil doodles on like, notebook paper (even though i have some fancy supplies X[ one day) but i LOVE making things with clay, wish it was more accessible to do at home. i have a handful of clay animal statues and stuff that i made in my ceramics class in high school. would looove to do more

-because my poses tend to be very pushed/cartoony using references of real people isnt always useful (though obv knowing the basics of anatomy always helps) so in those cases ill use other cartoony art i like as inspiration, i try to see what i like about their poses nd emulate that with my own. sometimes when im struggling ill just do a bunch of studies where i copy art i like to try to get a feel for what im missing. mostly ive realized i like when the pose conveys some level of like, volume and taking up a 3D space (which im still definitely not a master of but bullshitting it can be fun). and i also like to have a balance of curved and angular shapes. sometimes i try to just do a pose that conveys a specific emotion or i just make shit up lol

alsooooo i cant reccomend aimless doodling enough! just random shapes, turning the random shapes into creatures, trying and trying and trying different ways to draw something until you like it, i feel like the things my hand makes when i shut my brain off and just scribble can inspire me as well, and i try to emulate whatever i made by chance while doodling. and if your doodles turn out better in traditional i tend to consider using a photo of a drawing as a way to skip the "preliminary sketch" phase nd drawing a rough sketch over that which i then use for my drawing (or just directly color since i draw very fast/lazy...)

[tryinggallery]

I look forward to the future

Came back to this site because I never left the hole I wanted to. Signed back in after changing my password and saw a post I made a year ago, a promise of action and a better future. Made that post hoping I was gonna do what I will do now, which is finally change, and I promise on my life that I will do it.

This isn't the first time Ive made this promise, I've made it more than I count, mainly to myself more than anyone else. And I guess I stopped doing it, after breaking that promise to myself again and again and again and again and again, I stopped really believing I could and I hated lying about it. Because I know what I need to do to change, and live life to the fullest and make everyone proud of me and to be happy with myself and succeed. I have barely used journals filled with nothing but a younger me's promise to do better, labeling the problems with my life and planning solutions and breaking down those solutions until they were do-able sprints, and reminders that I know im a flawed human being but in the end I must do what I have to do to be happy because im not.

I just couldn't do it. List lack of discipline or mental illness or depression, the 'excuses' dont matter because in the end, I let myself down. I let the people that looked me in the eye and said "Sweden. Spook, your kind and smart and handsome, Im not worried about you because I know you'll florish." And I looked back at my grandma or my mom or dad, back right at their big ol brown eyes and I swore that i wouldn't let them down. But I did. And i hated myself for it. I tore and cut myself and punched walls and hated myself, I didn't hate anyone more than myself. I tried my best to not let my fuck ups be inconveniences but I still made my mum cry and my dad yell. and that just made me hate myself more. to know that my brother could thrive and do just fine but i was a fish on land, just fucking inhaling nothing and dying there hoping that something would change and it didn't. Not like they didn't offer, I had pride, I said that I was a strong fish, and people be damned, i will fucking wriggle on this sand and make it to the water, I dont need help im just fine, and i would act like I could breathe just fine hoping they would be proud of me.

Now Im here. Rotting. Living but not thriving. nothing but shame and guilt though nobody has been hurt but myself. Ive healed, from the worst stuff, the scars faded and my knuckles have stopped clicking, but the standard has shifted from staying alive to living and I have plans now. Theres a future and world at arms length, people to meet, cats to befriend, dogs to say big yawn as their yawning to, jobs to do, experiences to be had. As much as I want to I cant keep being my own obstacle to being happy, I cant let this cycle keep going, I AM CLIMBING OUT OF THIS FUCKING HOLE. I MUST KEEP MY PROMISES AND FIND FULFILMENT IN MYSELF.

So, after ive spent however long planning and catering my environment and making sure I have got the standards set and now I must get to the doing, the effort, the hardest part truly, doesnt help I have developed a nasty habit of nicotine and weed use in the mean time, but alas, we must do.

First, I gotta resocialise, as I have digitally isolated myself from everyone I know but my partner for 2 years, so theres that. Next I gotta get back my swing into academic, I fucked up my HS after i got real bad but I managed to get into a decent uni, I just gotta get that squared away (I missed enrolment and must jump through a bunch of hoops now because of my incompetence). Next, I gotta secure a decent employment, scouted a few places and have made my resume so just gotta pray to god more than anything I guess. I got a bunch of personal projects, which i'd like to get started on, but that requires a drop into skills etc etc

In the end, the point of me learning to use tumblr and post this shit is so (Like the first time) I can digitalise results of my projects, betterment and general improvements of existence on the path to fulfilment ! Yippee!!

[bytedykes]

[ID: Four stickman memes. They are: a crying stickman laying on its back in a pool of tears, hands over its face. A stickman grabbing another's cheeks and screaming in their face. A stickman biting its own arm bloody. A red-eyed teary stickfigure grimacing and holding up a thumbs up. /end ID]

^ just finished twatf moodboard. my thoughts under the cut

genuinely so good. i am sick. i am wailing. i am going to throw up.

ok i lied it wasnt like, groundbreaking, but i did enjoy it! and it did give me new kinds of mental illness. im not typically into the "overpowered protagonist" trope at all but i feel like in this case it was more of a vehicle for the philosophy of the novel than the actual. point? im not a literature analysis person haha

i doubt i would have read this novel if it weren't by singshong. it is just generally not my thing. but im glad i did! i liked the character and i thought it was quite clever and funny, the world building was interesting (despite how overly complicated it is) and some parts made me so. oughhhbg. tearing my hair out

i also really enjoyed looking at this from a "how it compares to orv" standpoint (that's also the main reason i decided to read it). i liked seeing the "prototype" ideas in here that resemble parts of orv that were more developed/refined. and i liked the most specific messages that resembled orv's! there were a few bits regarding walls and connection that made me want to erm shrivel up and die

i guess i didn't really understand the ending but i don't think it was awful. those last 3 chapters are honestly what was worst to me, if i had stopped reading on chapter 244 i might have been happier with the openness of it. seeing all of jaehwan's friends dying and sirwen being left alone in the world was depressing as hell and didn't really feel necessary

orv is known for having everything in it and managing to pull off the most unhinged plots and details so i enjoyed seeing that same principle in twatf dsdjskks it threw a lot of things that i didnt expect at all and a lot of them were absurd but all together i think it made it work

goddd some parts just hit very close. maybe not the overall themes but some specific sections made me put my phone down and stare into space... the fall of time arc... the conversation jaehwan has with the long lived race after he's figured out the unclothing... what andersen tells him before she chooses to fight myad... many such cases

some of the criticisms for it that ive seen online are about the bad translation which is fair but i dont think that necessarily reflects the quality of the actual novel? idk the crappy translation and many typos did make it harder to read but i was still able to mostly understand what was happening and i got used to it pretty quickly. i do wish that the side characters were more developed, i was really interested in them and it felt like a lot of their development was dropped or forgotten, but i did love what growth was shown

i liked jaehwan!!! he is such a sopping wet silly guy. guy who is in the horrors forever. guy who is a billion years old but not actually but yes he is. guy who is so autism eyes incarnate. i liked him as a character and i liked following his journey even with his at times repetitive ideas and simple op solutions to everything. it was fun!

i enjoyed the characters in general, karlton grew on me for some reason lol... i liked anderson and runald a lot also... i liked how despite his identity as a lonely existence that works alone, jaehwan did actually forge so many bonds with people he met and did reciprocate them! him and yoonhwan, him hiring claire and meikal for govt positions when he became master of gorgon, him training with chunghuh, his care for runald and anderson, him verbally calling the fallbringers his friends when they reunite, even eventually his friendship with beastlain! i wasn't expecting him to make so many connections because of how set he is on doing everything alone, so i was really happy to see that he does consider them friends and isnt just coldly moving through the world alone, despite what his actions say

really liked the whole lore about [clothes]. i thought that was really cool. did not like the repeated instances of sexual harassment and pervy lines throughout the book

ive been telling people to read orv left and right, but in contrast twatf is a kind of novel that i dont think i would necessarily recommend to anyone (especially not to anyone who wasn't already an enjoyer of this genre and/or more "out there" plots in general) but i did enjoy reading it myself. however i would say that it provided some cool/valuable/fun insight into orv and singshong's writing in general so maybe i would recommend it to someone who has already read orv and wanted to expand on that

overall i did like it!!! i dont think ill be rereading it any time soon but i had fun reading and stewing over it :)

[altschmerzes]

Hey! im ace and aro and was wondering if you could talk about what being engaged and getting married means and looks like to you as an aro person? I feel like so few people talk about it that i have no real frame of reference. it’s really cool that you’re happy and living authentically doing all these things and i guess yeah i just wanted to hear more about that if you felt like sharing! have a great day <3

yeah!!! i'm happy to talk abt that!! it's definitely nothing i've seen any kind of like..... broader awareness of, or people talking about, and i probably would've been like. more optimistic about my future if it had been something i'd seen, i think. this got a little long so i'm throwing it under a cut but here it is!! a bit of an explanation of like. How My Engagement/Marriage Works And How That Came To Be. (signed off on by my fiance, for the record - i didn't want to write out an answer to this without checking with them, but they're totally fine with it!)

i think it's probably wildly confusing to some people to see me post and talk abt being aro A Lot (it's one of the most prominent aspects of my online personality i think sdlfjs) including being like. incredibly romance repulsed, and then mention being engaged or having a fiance or referencing 'my wife' (though we're not married yet it is one of my Favourite jokes to make because 1. i think it's very funny, and 2. i just like saying it). people contain multitudes etc etc but i do wonder if people are confused by that sldfjs. my engagement is like... honestly everything i'd ever have hoped for if i'd asked myself at any point in the years since i started identifying as aromantic what my ideal life would include.

i've always had a hard time being alone and i wanted the intimacy and mutual support and just. ability to Do Life with someone that a relationship involved, while also being, as i've said, intensely romance repulsed and not really open to sex either. really just sort of figured that wasn't going to happen for me. the odds of not only meeting an aroace person (the only sort of person i thought might have an interest in the same sort of relationship i wanted and was comfortable with) irl never mind being compatible with them personally and in our priorities just seemed incredibly slim. which like... made me sad sometimes. i'd always sort of daydreamed about getting married which is wild for someone who is as romance repulsed as i am, which i know i keep saying but it really is an incredibly intense feeling for me (i tried dating once in high school and had several panic attacks before breaking it off after our third extremely mild fourteen/fifteen year old date, and often feel physically ill trying to read about fictional romance/watch it on tv). but y'know. sometimes we just don't get what we want in life, and i was fine with the idea of having my friends and my synagogue community and like. hoping my friends wouldn't all leave me behind alone as they all got into relationships.

what ended up happening is obviously not that. i'm really truly unbelievably thrilled every day to wake up and remember what i've got to look forward to every day. my engagement is entirely platonic, and it's exactly what both of us want and are just. beyond happy with and excited for. my fiance is a lesbian, actually, and has been incredibly good and patient with reassuring me that the relationship we have, exactly as it is, is what they want too, that they don't feel like i'm depriving them of anything. we love each other very much, and we're building the life together that we want, in exactly the way that we want.

and that's how it happened, really. we talked about what we wanted. i got engaged at the end of what i've referred to as a 'several hour long conversation' which is the truth sdlkfs. a close friend and i both had sort of 'evaluating the next couple years of our lives and how we wanted pivotal parts of our futures to go' moments about the same time, and it came up i think mostly as a half-serious suggestion that we could get married. for logistical reasons, it made sense for us. and then we started talking about what that might look like - what we wanted, from our lives and our futures, and our hypothetical marriage. and the more we talked about it, the more serious it got, the more real it got, and the more we both i think realized we wanted the same thing. the same life, the same way, together.

we talked about a whole lot in that first couple of days. one of the very first things we talked about actually was kids - did we want them? what was important to us about having and raising children (names, religion, etc)? then it was stuff like did we have strong feelings about where we lived. did we want our own rooms in our home, did we want to wear rings (i love my engagement ring. it makes me smile every time i notice it on my hand), what did we want to tell our friends. we had conversations about whether and how we wanted a wedding. what sort of physical intimacy we were comfortable with, what sort we might want (really glad we did that, and that we were honest and open about that - nothing better, it turns out, than Cuddling Your Wife). what sort of affection we were comfortable with around other people.

our relationship, our life, is what we want it to be. exactly what we want it to be. what makes us happy. we've built it from a vast and beautiful array of choices and options, adding the things we want and leaving the things we don't. it's an approach i would highly recommend to everyone, honestly - talking about what you want out of your relationship, what you want to do and how you want to be with someone rather than just picking which of a short list of proscribed 'types of relationship' you want to have. it leaves a lot more room for nuance and what will actually make you happy than much less contextually nuanced things like assuming your definition of 'dating' will match the other person's, or that the kind of relationship you want just isn't possible. setting up that kind of foundation in communication and honesty and being clear about our expectations and needs has fostered a relationship where i feel respected and valued and heard - and i'm reasonably certain (and i hope!) that they feel the same.

we travelled to my birthplace so they could be introduced to my family and my childhood best friend. it's always both surprising and amusing to me every time someone assumes i'm gay (gender is complicated but we both tend to read as women) - this happened a lot there, and as i've told my extended family and other more casual friends about my engagement. this doesn't bother me at all (i'm not out to almost anyone irl as aromantic, and it's a reasonable conclusion to reach given what information they have) but it's extremely funny when i also get to find out which of my family members/people i knew in middle school always sort of wondered if i was gay but never asked sldkjs. turns out the answer is 'a lot'.

re: assumptions, for the most part, we don't bother explaining the nature of our relationship to people. this is also something we talked about! we discussed how much we wanted to clarify or contextualize, and decided that ultimately like... with the exception of people we're very close to, and in contexts like this (fairly anonymous post on ye olde internet with the ability to immediately block anyone who clowns on it), it's really nobody's business unless we decide it is and we're cool with just letting people assume whatever. that does lead to some like... i can't speak for them but it gets a little weird for me sometimes, i'm not gonna lie. it feels a little like getting misgendered, having people assume that i'm in a romantic relationship. i say that as a nonbinary person who's mostly just. chill about not being out about that irl. that's the best descriptor i have to help people understand what might be a hard thing to understand. but it doesn't bug me enough to want to put myself - or my fiance - through what correcting that assumption would involve. i mostly don't blame anyone for it - it's extremely reasonable to assume someone who is engaged is in a romantic relationship with the person they're engaged to - except for when friends who know i'm aromantic and somehow think this means that's... changed, somehow? or jump to assuming i'm in a romantic relationship before considering i might not be in one and still be engaged anyway. so it's kind of weird, and feels a little bad, but not enough to really do anything about it except hope the world changes a bit and stops making assumptions about other people's relationships at some point.

that's really the only downside, hand to gd. that and worrying that there might be consequences, legally, if the wrong person finds out we're married but Not Like That. everything else is honestly amazing. it's the best thing that's ever happened to me and i'm so unbelievably happy. i never thought i'd ever get to be this happy, or have a future this bright and warm and full of love to look forward to. having spent a lot of my life for various reasons thinking i just wouldn't have a future at all, it's like every day is a really incredible dream, except i'm never going to have to wake up.

the moral of the story i guess, if you've made it this far in this novel of an answer, anon, which i wouldn't bet on, because it's so much longer than i planned on it being (SORRY SDLKFJS i guess this is more than just a 'writing fic' problem for me now XD), is that your relationships are what you make them. assuming that what you want isn't possible, or that nobody could possibly want the same thing, is a great way to cheat yourself out of something wonderful. nobody has to have any kind of relationship, obviously, if they don't want one, but i think there are a lot of people - aromantic and not! though i do think this probably impacts aro people. more. - who could benefit from the idea that there are more options out there than just like... 1. romantic relationship constructed in a specific way and following a specific path, and 2. being alone.

[sammyloomis]

okay so i finished new tales and i certainly have some Opinions (obviously spoilers under the cut)

lets start with the good at least

i guess its the same as when i did my episode 1 “review” i like the new characters and that never really changed through the whole game honestly the motion capture stuff grew on me, and i really liked how the models faces added lines to account for expression changes and individual moments within the overall story were fun, like the morgue scene and sink or swim

now the cons..... which is kinda.... everything else hh

i really hate how this game feels like a cash grab to ride of the first tales success personally, i didnt particularly care for the first tales as it was, but this one just felt.... soulless

i hated how a lot of lore was overlooked, and on a personal note im upset gaige didnt get a vaultlander figure despite every other vault hunter getting one?? AND some Non vault hunters for some reason?? i feel like she keeps getting overlooked and it makes me upset

also athena being at the ceo thing makes No sense, it felt slapdash especially since they just used her og tales model which kinda confirmed to me they didnt plan for it to be like that at all, they just wanted another familiar face at the table so they wouldnt have to introduce a new character

speaking of the new characters, where the fuck did they all go?? barring stapleface who reappears in episode 5 only to be killed off, they all are introduced and then Never heard from again presumably, theyre gonna be used future games, but even so, having them so prominently in the trailers and promo stuff, to have them all just??? go away??? weird choice

and the final thing is the pacing honestly, i didnt think it was That Bad until the final episode that “climax” took so fucking long, the tension was long gone before it got even half way thru it also, you cant expect a scene to stay tense when u keep putting jokes in it, or having octavio stand up to dance around to the hold music despite almost getting shot with a DEATH LASER 3 DIFFERENT TIMES FOR DOING THAT EXACT SAME THING

overall, i went into this with an open mind, and i really enjoyed the new main 3 characters, i wish id seen more of the supporting cast, but at the end of the day i really cant make myself overlook the glaring flaws of this game :[ ive come away from the story feeling kind of unsatisfied with how things shook out, and thats not to do with the ending i got (which was that all 3 of them lived but went their seperate ways)

ill give it like.... 4/10?? being generous with that tbh fghj