#im no longer interested in it
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i promise u i was 100% enjoying our conversation but then i literally just forgot abt it n thts why i havent responded yet 😭😭😭
#i feel like myb it's bc my interests also change like tht#like I'll think smth is so interesting for all of 5 mins#n then move on#n sometimes it's the same in conversations 😭😭😭#it's not like im annoyed someone took long to respond but my interest in tlking abt tht has just gone 😭😭😭#aside from other understandable reasons for ppl responding long after#myb thts why i love n hate tlking to tht friend with adhd#they're always switching topics n we'll tlk abt 500 things when we're both online at the same time#but when they're down n take a week to respond im sorry but i just no longer want to tlk abt tht thing tht was in the last mssg i sent u bc#im no longer interested in it#n i feel stupid n ashamed#i hate being reminded of my own past likes sometimes?#like if they respond to a convo whose topic they started after a week it's less embarrassing#than if they respond to a topic i initiated bc like i do not want to tlk abt tht anymore bless#alskfjfjfjdd#cloud nonsense
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#gravity falls au#return to falls#post-theraprism au#bill cipher#stanford pines#stanley pines#ford#stan#my art#comic#i gave up on giving names to these parts lmao#taking a while because these comics gets longer each posts#im having a lot of fun making them tho. it gets a bit interesting from here so i hope you enjoy
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AuDHD is so funny sometimes like what do you mean my hyperfixations/special interests will last for years on end or possibly forever but they will cycle out every month or two with absolutely no transitional period or warning. like i will think about the same topic every day obsessively for 46 days in a row and on the 47th day with no visible cause adhd brain goes "ok! bored of that now" and autism brain goes "dw i got something queued up for ya" and i blast into full blown obsession on some other topic whose mental file folders haven't opened in 9 months. brain's out here treating hyperfixations like a crop rotation. once the dopamine runs out it cycles in another one but once something's in the rotation it never ever leaves. last summer we brought in one from when i was 11. it's so funny to me but frustrating too bc like. i cannot stress enough my inability to predict or control this. or how completely abrupt and random it can be
#actually adhd#actually autistic#audhd#aphelion.txt#ik 'adhd brain' vs 'autism brain' is a gross oversimplification especially given how much overlap there can be#but it at least helps me conceptualize wtf is going on in my head when i do this lol#and yeah i'm mostly referring to fandoms in this post but it can happen w more 'Traditional' special interests too#like my linguistics special interest which hasn't popped up in a couple years now but whenever it does#i will fill literal notebooks while studying 4 languages at once and simultaneously inventing a conlang#and then i'll be like Ok that was fun! and several months later im deleting like. 2gb of textbooks off my iphone to make room for an update#And sometimes yeah there is a precipitating event like 'Oh something new happened in X fandom with my blorbo!' but sometimes it's like#yeah. no. idk either. switch got flipped in my brain and X no longer sparks joy. only Y rn. how come it's Y? yeah idk i also wish i knew#i don't think any of this is actually an uncommon experience for people with these types of neurodivergencies it's just.#the severity of abruptness and TOTALITY of the switch that makes me feel like a weirdo sometimes lol#like I'M getting mental whiplash from this sometimes. idk how y'all are still following my blog
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The Narrator's perspective only gets more horrifying the longer you think about it. Like, imagine being an Echo of yourself—one of many, all made to serve a very particular purpose and knowingly living on borrowed time, if 'living' is even the right word for your current state of pseudo-existence.
You've inherited the mission of a dead man—it's literally the only thing left that you can do before fading, so you sure as hell better believe in it; the alternative would be unbearable. Only you keep failing. With every loop that you don't remember, your lack of agency in this situation becomes starker—you can influence small things, sure, but it becomes increasingly clear that you have no real power, no matter how personally invested you are in the events unfolding in front of you. You are, after all, only an Echo. You've forfeited the right to meaningfully engage with the world.
Worse—every loop you're made aware of is another time you've failed, with unimaginable consequences, though you had no control over these previous iterations of yourself and can't even learn from their mistakes. Everyone around you is operating on a shared perception of reality that you are not part of, will never be part of. After a few repetitions, you are, ironically, the least informed person in the room. All you have left to go on is an evidently outdated script. At the same time, everyone else is experiencing a contiguous version of you, comprised of parts that are, in some sense, also you, while at the same time existing at a complete remove from your current perception of self. Whatever you don't know you did—that's you now. You are, after all, only an Echo. You've forfeited the right to define your own identity, never mind know what it is.
Even worse—this has trapped you within a stagnant hell of your own creation. Nothing you say or do really matters in terms of your own self (the rest of the world is a separate issue entirely). Anything you've come to believe—say, for totally hypothetical example, that you were wrong actually and your envisioned paradise is really a hell beyond any you had the capacity to envision—has about as much permanence as a drawing in the sand. 'You' will continue, exactly as you were, no matter how much you might like to change your behavior. Every possible future has already been set in stone. You are, after all, only an Echo. You've forfeited the right to say anything you haven't already said.
For some reason, no part of any of this has made you feel more comfortable and at peace with the general concept of finality.
The really, truly absolute worst part, though?
There is no one for you to blame but yourself. And that's exactly what turns your story into such a tragedy.
#slay the princess#meta#my meta#slay the princess narrator#stp narrator#stp echo#for the love of god WHAT is his character tag this is a travesty#narrator sweep#natterings#stp posting#this was written as part of another much longer piece of enthusiastic narrator meta#like with screenshots and everything#but this was too good and self-contained NOT to post#in case of the very likely event where i dont finish the full thing#because unlike him i do recognize when im flirting with my own hubris#not that it ever stops me#anyway ask me about the narrator and why hes the most interesting character in stp#who is UNDERAPPRECIATED-- i mean uh#surprisingly overlooked#please there is so much that i could say
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my initial knee jerk reaction to lucanis/spite saying "family, enemies, contracts" was bad because it felt like an oversimplification but actually thinking on it i really love that lucanis forces himself into this box to make things make sense in his life. family is unconditional, enemies are to be killed, but contracts is so. interesting... man who promises mila that he will find her father because he does not fail contracts. the same man who tells effe that he will kill her slaver because he needs to turn her from a poor young woman that he sympathises with, into someone he can make a deal with. it's not kindness, it's not weakness, he's just fulfilling a contract, and crows don't break contracts. if he kills a bunch of racist blood mages during that process, then he's not breaking the rules, just bending them. a very convenient excuse to be a good man while still being a crow and assassin. and of course when spite is forced into him, he gets out of it with something familiar! by making another deal! something he could work with, something he HAS to work with, because being just an abomination is unthinkable. if he can work himself out of this problem like he's done with every other contract in his life, in his mind maybe there's some tiny chance that this becomes another job that he can claw his life back from.
#like. 'i'm still an assassin. i'm still a crow. this is just a contract.' <- insane torture that involves forcing a spirit into him#i also of course see this backfiring hard when he gets out of the ossuary and it stops being a deal to survive#and a lot more of 'jesus fuck. im possessed.' and its a contract that no longer becomes about getting out but his actual future#and what that means for him. which triggers that spiral of self doubt and insecurity about rejection and disgust from 'family'#just. such a warped perception of the world that it HAS to be a contract is interesting to me#even rook/the companions starting as a contract and turning into family. the progression there must have been interesting right#especially with the weight he seems to place on promises. fun!!!!!#lucanis dellamorte#txt#when i heard the line i was like 'ooh! fun!' -> 'hmm. actually don't like that' -> (weeks later) 'nvm its fine again'
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oh would you look at that
part 1!
#alan becker#animator vs animation#ava#ava tco#ava tsc#ava red#ava blue#ava yellow#ava green#aaaand thats all my post s3 thoughts let out!#iiiiii think#yeah thats it ? yeah#cho's slept for a day in this context by the way#ive heard stuff about the sticks percieving time longer than humans i think??#pretty sure its a headcanon other people have but either way i find it very interesting!#so with that in mind i think tco's 1 day “”coma“” probably felt like 942894 months for the cg idk i may be overshotting that#at least tco is okay now! yeah ...i say as i plan another angst comic with tco in itWOAH im talking too much i mean who said th#lilacsart
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he's so *radio noises*
#nu carnival#yakumo#nu carnival yakumo#my art#not doing watermarks anymore idgaf#i made his hair longer than in the original sketch because if im gonna appeal to my own interests im gonna do it right
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hey im curious
feel free to rb & explain your answer in the tags!
#i will go first <3#i reread my own fics all the time!!!#it's so fun!!#i am the target audience for every fic i have ever written#like even if it's a gift/for an event i write it bc i am genuinely interested in it#so of COURSE im going to enjoy looking back on those fics#i have uh 24 fics on ao3 now?#so i dont reread All of them#i mainly reread my longer fics bc i just have the most fun writing them#i encourage ppl to reread their own work bc#1 its fun to see how your writing has changed#(my writing has gone through So Much since i started in 2019 lol)#2 if you write for yourself then youll always love what youve written!#n e way thats my 2 cents#pls share w/ me i am very curious#thanks love ya#fanfiction#fanfic#<- promo tags ig
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I think when getting along with other people, its perfectly natural (and entirely inevitable) that you're going to bump elbows with others and treating confrontation/discomfort with a kneejerk "well we have to beef now and turn this small miscommunication/moment of friction into a Whole Thing" reaction, instead of doing your best to give your fellow people the benefit of the doubt, even if you got off on the wrong foot is really key. and in fact an essential skill for any grown adult. especially when operating within and without other communities or cultures
#not trying to be a hot take or anything just a thought#i hope this isnt just coming off as 'why cant we alll just get allonnng' i dont mean it that way per se#I just think especially on the internet people resort way too quickly to#'well you clearly suck entirely and im no longer interested in your perspective'#(disclaimer im not talking abt giving any grace to hate groups thats not what this is abt)#i mean just innocent moments of miscommunication/social clumsiness/cultural clash
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Genshin Official Relationships and Status
Something to take note off in character relationships is what their "official and known" relationships are. So, I decided to try to make a chart of one with the playable cast and some extras.
This is a draft though. If you have criticisms and comments, absolutely please do leave them because I don't think my interpretations of these government systems are that accurate.
Anyways, here they are! The higher the placement, the higher the authority. Distance does not apply, and the legend is in each of the pictures.
Mondstadt: That's a lotta knights
They can be split between the Church and Knights, but the Church is still under the Grand Master as far as I know.
Power is surprisingly concentrated to 1/2 individuals only for a nation of freedom...Mond you gotta work on that...
Jean, Diluc, Kaeya, and Lisa are arranged the way they are in reference to the Klee summer event where they passed on who was looking after Mond.
Diluc still retains his high position because he has so many high credentials and connections (The Darknight Hero, Mond's richest man, high status in an intelligence network), despite being the Ex-Cavalry Captain.
Rosaria is an official recognized nun, but her vigilante works are by her own accord, hence the colors.
I am not sure whatsoever where Jean and Barbara's father, the Cardinal, should really be placed, or if he even still holds the position.
Poor Noelle does so much more Mond, but is lowest in status...please just make her a knight already T__T
Liyue: Zhongli and his powerful lesbians
I really am not sure if Ningguang is who Liyue's closest "leader", but that is how I felt during most of Liyues events
I'm assuming that the adepti now have a lesser status in Liyue because of the shift in power to the humans during the archon quest
How high Beidou's status is is, completely informal. She's right beside Ningguang because they do find each other to be equal competitors in their own way.
Those directly connected to Zhongli are those I assumed to have taken direct orders from him, hence why Beidou and Keqing are not included although they do respect him as their archon (Keqing in her own way)
I feel like I'm missing people here, compared to Mond, so uh, help me out here-
Inazuma: They just had a civil war...woops
I am reallyyy unsure how to label Sangonomiya island's status. Are they under the shogun? Are they their own separate territory?
Otherwise, Inazuma is pretty straightforward with its 3 factions and families
Sumeru: The whole government was just overthrown
Are there like, genuinely so sages right now, or replacement Grand Sage??? Nahida you need to do something asap-
Scara doesn't exactly have equal status to Alhaitham as Acting Grand Sage, but I felt it was more important to show that Scara is working directly under Nahida
Speaking of which, the title "shadow" is used because it's the same role that Ei served to Makoto, which I find poetic. If there is an official or better title tho, I'd love to hear it.
Hopefully, as time passes, there will be more representatives from the desert with high status. Poor Candace is carrying the desert's status on her back-
Should I have included the Corps of Thirty even if there are no playable characters...?
Fontaine: Fancy Schmancy Titles
I honestly reallyyyy wished that Neuv and Wrio were on equal standing, but in the eyes of Fontaine, that probably just isn't true.
Even so, absolute do not underestimate how important Wrio's role is in Fontaine's justice system, because without the Fortress functioning as it is, so much of Fontaine's justice would fall apart.
Despite Furina's death penalty and retirement, I still believe she deserves the title of archon with the highest status. No matter what happens, she is still Fontaine's idol and savior. (Besides, if she wanted/needed anything, Neuv would give it to her.)
How high Navia, Clorinde, and Chevy's statuses are in relation to each other in reality is...not explicit?
Really, Clorinde is just another employee under Fontaine's justice system, and isn't a head in anyway, while Chevy and Navia are actual leaders. But, Clorinde is the best Champion Duelist, so does that make them cancel out...?
Anyways that's all from me! It's pretty interesting to me just how much of the cast are part of their respective nation's government, which only makes sense given the kind of ruckus the traveler causes. Have a good day!
#this has been in the work for. Way too long now.#also im 100% sure this has a lot of mistakes#like. it just doesnt feel right- probably bcus no clear cut chart can rlly properly show complex govt relationships#would anyone be interested in this? Idk I hope so. I worked hard ok#my longer genshin posts dont tend to do that well but oh well#this is where my genshin autism has led me- apparently#charts of government relationships and status#i probably shouldve made a schneznaya one#and I have no idea wtf is happening in Natlan#do i tag all the characters....? uhhh nah#just few i talked most abt i guess#genshin#genshin impact#evelynpr genshin#jean#diluc#rosaria#ningguang#beidou#keqing#raiden ei#raiden shogun#sangonomiya kokomi#nahida#scaramouche#wanderer#alhaitham#neuvillette#wriothesley#furina
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*sigh* thoughts on Nintendo's botw/totk timeline shenanigans and tomfoolery?
tbh. my maybe-unpopular opinion is that the timeline is only important when a game's place on the timeline seriously informs the way their narrative progresses. the problem is that before botw we almost NEVER got games where it didn't matter. it matters for skyward sword because it's the beginning, and it matters for tp/ww/alttp (and their respective sequels) because the choices the hero of time makes explicitly inform the narrative of those games in one way or another. it matters which timeline we're in for those games because these cycles we're seeing are close enough to oot's cycle that they're still feeling the effects of his choices. botw, however, takes place at minimum 10 thousand years after oot, so its place on the timeline actually functionally means nothing. botw is completely divorced from the hero of time & his story, so what he does is a nonissue in the context of botw link and zelda's story. thus, which timeline botw happens in is a nonissue. honestly I kind of liked the idea that it happened in all of them. i think there's a cool idea of inevitability that can be played with there. but the point is that the timeline exists to enhance and fill in the lore of games that need it, and botw/totk don't really need it because the devs finally realized they could make a game without the hero of time in it.
#i really do have a love-hate relationship with this timeline#because it's FASCINATING lore. genuinely. and i think it carries over the themes of certain games REALLY well#but i also think it's indicative of a trend in loz's writing that has REALLY annoyed me for a long time#which is this intense need to cling to oot#and on a certain level i get it. that was your most successful game probably ever. and it was an AMAZING game.#and i think there's definitely some corporate profit maximization tied up in this too--oot was an insane commercial success therefore you'r#not allowed to make new games we need you to just remake oot forever and ever#and that really annoys me because it makes certain games feel disjointed at best and barely-coherent at worst.#i think the best zelda games on the market are the ones where the devs were allowed to really push what they were working with#oot. majora. botw. hell i'd even put minish cap in there#these are games that don't quite follow what was the standard zelda gameplay at their time of release. they were experimental in some way#whether that be with graphics or puzzle mechanics or open-world or the gameplay premise in its entirety. there's something NEW there#and because the devs of those games were given that level of freedom the gameplay really enforces the narrative. everything feels complete#and designed to work together. as opposed to gameplay that feels disjointed or fights against story beats. you know??#so I think that the willingness to allow botw and totk to exist independently from the timeline is good at the very least from a developmen#standpoint because it implies a willingness to. stop making shitty oot remakes and let developers do something interesting.#and yes i do very much fear that the next 20 years of zelda will be shitty BOTW remakes now#in which botw link appears and undergoes the most insane character assassination youve ever seen in your life#but im trying to be optimistic here. if botw/totk can exist outside the timeline then we may no longer be stuck in the remake death loop#and i'm taking eow as a good sign (so far) that we're out of the death loop!! because that game looks NOTHING like botw or oot.#fingers crossed!!#anyway sorry for the game dev rant but tldr timeline good except when it's bad#asks#zelda analysis
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Robin chose Steve. Robin made the conscious and deliberate decision that she could and would trust Steve. She already liked him! She had fun working and bantering with him! They were already on their way to being weird little bffs and the torture just expedited the process. Steve chose Robin just the same! He thinks she's fun and cool and likes her so much! He chose to be honest and open with her too, putting himself out there.
Even though their interests on the surface level don't match why wouldn't they share them? Steve clearly caves when Robin wants to watch a movie he doesn't think he'll like, Robin can watch a March madness game or five.
Stop trying to take away their bond oh my god people can be close to more than one person!!! Their best friend doesn't have to be dismissive or mean or whatever in order for a romance to be special to them!
#if i have to see another fic or whatever that makes it seem like robin doesnt give a shit about what steve likes and talkes about im going#to scream and maybe even rampage#its nice to sit down and have someone who knows explain who the players are and what the stakes for this particular game!!#just because yall seem to not think anyone can be nutral towards sports doesnt mean people aren't#literally why is it so hard to believe robin would like to hear steve talk as much as steve likes to hear her talk#i am so close to telling some steddie shippers to not look at steve or robin or their friendship because some of yall do Not get it.#its like you can see them go 'have to make sure eddie is the most perfect specialest boy for steve...well that means robin doesn't Get Him '#or 'robin ignores him/dismisses his interests/isnt told everything happening in his life' like okay dont ever touch them again thanks#robin is steves specialest sunshine cupcake goober girl. steve is robins bestest happy times sweet funnyman. dont u dare take that away.#omce again tsgs longer than the post but ah well.#stobin#platonic stobin#robin buckley#steve harrington#stranger things#finda's rambles#steve and robin#this is a scheduled post just to jazz things up i guess#but seriously some of yall need to STOP MESSIGN WITH STOBIN
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"but you could be so much more. you could be beautiful."
#tensimm#tensimmedit#thoschei#thoscheiedit#doctor who#dwedit#the doctor#the master#tenth doctor#simm master#david tennant#john simm#gif#gifset#my gifs#something from me that is not tw or tmr for once lmao#im going to be a bit more multi fandom on this blog from now on#because as much as i adore tw and tmr i have too many other interests#and i can no longer refrain myself from giffing them lol#anyway have some tensimm bcs i adore them
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You know what. Why do we as a touhou fandom not talk about the fact the pc98 songs are canon. They exist. In canon. Akyuu has them documented and has probably heard them. Someone within touhou's universe wrote them. Reimu could probably actually listen to her own theme. Were the songs actually written about the events of those games?? Was eternal shrine maiden written about reimu?? Was love colored magic written about marisa?? I'm going insane
#i could rant for hours about the fact there is a band in universe that apparently wrote them#thats mentioned in akyuus untouched score and pmiss#i might make a longer post about this eventually im just. obsessed with this fact#ive been rotating this in my brain for over a year i have so many thoughts about it augghhh#im just. honestly not super confident talking about my interpretations of obscure touhou lore#since im kinda worried that ill be wildly misinterpreting something#especially considering i cannot read japanese and translations arent always reliable#but god. i havent seen almost anyone talk about this and i think the implications are very very interesting..#touhou#touhou project
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control (2019) + king of pain by the police
#art#digital#grayscale#control#control remedy#control 2019#hi *explodes*#<- hiss charged voice#ok but seriously im pretty stoked about these. not all of them are my absolute best work but a lot of them turned out really well and more#importantly i actually fucking finished all of them (only took about 2 months longer than i thought it would lmao)#ummm notes. all of these were done with the same single brush for everything you see and most were done on only 2 layers + one for the text#the first 3 were done first in order and the last one was done last i dont entirely remember the order of the rest#also i listened to the song exploder episode on the house of cards theme probably at least a dozen times while working on these#just felt like it set the mood well#anything else interesting i have to share about the process? dont think so... look out for some alternate color versions#in the next few days as i endeavor to figure out gradient maps i suppose#well thats it. very much hope this gets even half as much traction as last weeks memes due to the aforementioned 3 months spent working#but we'll see. we shall see.#yayyyyy posting art before bedtime <3
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in the last splendor you posted (about João) I noticed I have an EXACTLY SAME pipe! it's incredible!! and most of all...isn't it damn similar to abel's?
so ill be 100% real, i had more of a "i just think they're neat" moment when i was drawing it bc i think those pipes are cool... but now this is absolutely canon to my au. they share it regularly bc otherwise theyd go insane.
#hetalia world stars#nedport#thats their ship name right lol#ill be fr. inwas originally leaning towards engport in this au. however.#i find it very hard to see pirate!arthur caring very much about anything other than himself.#and hes all the more interesting for that!! but not great for romance#so. itd prob be tragic engport with more. comforting nedport lol#idk im still. Very early in the fic. within the first 15k. and this has the potential to be..... much longer#lol anyway im done talking i have someplace to be 🤧🤧#my art#i know this is messy af but i needed to get this out
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