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bunnyluvx · 2 months ago

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spring is my favorite season.

featuring: niran pruksamanee (lifeweaver) x m/non-binary!reader.

summary: you learn new things about yourself after a late-night study session with your best friend.

warnings: n/a.

a/n: HEYYYY GUYS!! i didn't realize that july was the last time i posted eyfubino i am so sorry. i struggled with finding an idea for a new fanfic but i finally got one!!!! im honestly really happy with how this turned out, i have been wanting to get into overwatch for a really long time and i finally have it on my switch so i have been going CRAZY. everything may not be completely accurate with this so please forgive me if i missed something with the story. as far as i know, ow lore is really screwy so everyone has kind of made their own story and this is a brief look into my interpretation of things before niran joined overwatch. hope you guys enjoy!!!!!!!

date started: 8:01PM, september 7th, 2024.

date finished: 8:27PM, september 11th, 2024.

wc: 3k

ao3

Quiet swarms throughout the hallways of the building. Vishkar's dorms are surprisingly relatively peaceful. Though they don't come without their commotion, it brings enough solace to its residents so that they can go about their business uninterrupted. You disturb the silence when you exit your room, the door clicking closed at your side and your key sliding into the lock to secure it. Once finished, you walk three doors down and knock. You carry an armful of books and papers, resting the stack on your hip while you wait for the door to open. You barely have to practice your patience, for the door swiftly clears your path and your vision is greeted with a new sight.

On the other side is a tall young man with tan skin, long white hair tied up into a bun on the back of his head. Wearing a loose, white button-up shirt, black pants and a smile stands Niran Pruksamanee, your best friend. You met in one of the school's labs when you were working on your respective projects, and he was curious about yours, so he asked you about it. You discussed your works, exchanged contact information and the rest is history. The friendship that you have developed with Niran is one that you have needed all of your life. Throughout your years, you have wondered if anybody was going to care for you as much as you did for them, to match your energy in all things. You have not wondered that since you found Niran. He is your person, through thick and thin, and you could not want anyone else.

"You're here! It's about time." The man greets you, stepping aside while keeping the door ajar. "I thought that I was going to have to start without you."

You roll your eyes playfully, a crooked grin on your face as you walk in. "Yeah, yeah, relax, drama queen. Your gracious monarch has arrived."

The door closes behind you as you kick off your shoes, replacing them with a pair of blue slippers that Niran bought just for you. When you turn around, Niran's hands rest over his heart, his eyes turned up away from you. "Oh, my dearest, I have missed you so! I could have withered away from the ache alone! Wherever have you been?"

You decide to play into the charade, a little smirk playing on your lips as you take one of Niran's hands and pull him closer to you. "So sorry to keep you waiting, darling, I was asleep in the royal chambers. Could you ever forgive my tardiness?"

Eyes slightly widen and the smile falters from his lips in surprise for only a moment before his face relaxes and the smile returns. "Perhaps. But only if you prepare our feast tonight."

You break your character with a chuckle and release his hand, letting yours drop to the side. "Fine. Let's go."

With that, you both walk to Niran's room. You bump the door open with your hip, Niran heading to the door opposite to his room to grab a chair for you to sit on. You move to the desk and carefully set your stack of belongings onto the desk that sits directly across from the entrance, turning around to meet your best friend's eyes to ask, "Where's Satya?"

When you turn around, the white-haired man has already entered the room with your seat, rolling it behind you and taking a seat in the chair that already stood in front of the desk. "She is in the labs. She won't be back for awhile."

You glance at the seat that Niran pulled up for you, eyes looking back to him. "You're sure it's okay if I use her chair?"

Niran waves off your concern, leaning back. "Of course it is! Satya won't mind as long as we put it back when we're done with it."

You nod before turning to look at Niran's desk. It's littered with papers, stationary items messily placed into organizers and two lights resting near the corners of his desk on the edge. Your dearest friend has never been very put-together when it comes to his study spaces. You can tell when he has been working on something for days at a time without sleep when his room looks like a tornado went through it. Luckily for him, you are always there to remind him to take breaks to take care of himself.

While he does that, you clean and organize his desk, slipping papers into folders and setting them aside. You always make sure to label them too, so that when he returns to his work, Niran will know where everything is. You also cook for him, run him baths, do his laundry, anything that needs to be taken care of is a task that you are willing to take on. He always tells you how grateful he is when you're done too, and despite you telling him not to, he manages to somehow return the favor.

"Let's clear all of this up first, then we can get started." You instruct, moving to slide some of the papers towards you to pick up.

Niran salutes to your command and responds with, "Yes Sir!"

This makes you laugh, and together, you remove all of the unneeded materials from the desk to make room for both of your things. Working together makes it go much faster, and you're both able to start working before you know it. In between the focused silences, you converse and laugh over the latest gossip that you've overheard from other students. How it is that being around Niran makes your ability to focus so much better and so much worse at the same time is beyond you, but spending time with him like this is something that you always welcome.

Almost two and a half hours pass before you check the time, reading seven-thirty PM. You figure that you both could use a break, plus you need to fix dinner up. You practically have to drag Niran away from his task, but once you did and got him onto the couch, he didn't put up a fuss. You decided to make Tom Yum soup, something for the both of you to enjoy and that will leave you content for a few hours. The scent catches NIran's attention, moving his head up from his phone to you in the kitchen. "Is that Tom Yum?" He asks curiously, a smile gracing his lips.

"Yup. Figured it will motivate us." You confirm, stirring the large pot that brews before you.

A few brief moments of silence follow with your reply, which you find odd, until you feel strong arm come around your waist from behind. Your study buddy's chin rests on your shoulder and his eyes close, his voice rumbling a hum from low in his throat. "You know me so well."

Displays like this aren't exactly uncommon in your relationship. Holding hands while walking, draping arms around shoulders or waists, sitting in each other's lap, cuddling and napping, name it, you've probably done it together. Most of the time, you don't think about it too much, as you do not have shame when it comes to the way that you love your friends and how you express it. But there are times with Niran, that it feels different. Keeping you close to his side around strangers, or holding you tightly when you lay on top of him are examples that come to mind. Not to mention the fact that both of you refer to each other as soulmates, and gush for hours about each other to your friends. You would never tell Niran this, of course, but he seems to have no problem letting you know how much he adores you.

You know that your best friend is pansexual, but never once have you thought that he could have any feelings for you. If he had romantic feelings for you, then he would have told you by now. Your communication with each other is very open and straightforward, so if he had something to tell you, then he would. You yourself have only ever liked women, as far as you are concerned, so there is definitely nothing going on between the two of you. But if that's the truth, then why does your heart feel like it's about to leave your body??

You are frozen where you stand, your cheeks becoming brightly colored as the familiar sensation of the man's arms encases you in a protective warmth. Your eyes are blown wide, and your lips press together tightly. You've noticed recently that whenever he hugs you, your heart thrums a little faster in your chest. You brushed it aside, thinking that it was just excitement from the dearest person in your life showing you affection, but this is an entirely new level. You feel like you're in middle school, holding hands with your girlfriend in the halls for the first time. Everything in your body is screaming things that you can't understand, and your brain feels foggy. You have never reacted so extremely to his hugs before, so why is it now that you feel like you are about to combust where you stand??

Niran takes notice of the tension in your body quickly, lifting his chin from your shoulder to look at your face and ask, "Are you alright?"

You blink free from your daze, and glance at the man behind you. "I-I'm fine!"

A small frown tugs on his lips as he sees that you are very clearly not fine. "Are you uncomfortable? I can stop if you do not want me to do this."

Your cheeks only become brighter as you turn to him, his arms momentarily sliding off of your waist when you scramble to answer, "N-No! Nononononnononnnonnono, I am not uncomfortable at all! It's fine, Niran, really."

The man tilts his head, frown still curled in a pout on his face. "You're sure?"

You nod to him, a wobbly smile twitching on your lips. "Y-Yes! Yes, everything is fine, I promise."

Deciding to trust your words, NIran nods. "Alright, but you are more than free to tell me to get off if you want me to, okay?" He reminds you, wanting to ensure your comfort with him.

You nod again. "I know. I will, I promise." You reassure him, only then does he become content with your answer and step forward to return your back against his chest and his arms around your waist. His chin props itself onto your shoulder, and you quietly return to the pot in front of you.

The silence lasted long enough for the blush on your cheeks to dissipate, tension mostly leaving your muscles. The butterflies in your stomach persistently flutter around, but you try to play it cool. Niran does not make this easy for you, a smirk curling onto his lips as he lifts his chin from its resting spot a little as his eyes meet yours from the side. "Don't tell me that you're falling for me."

A cruel soul your friend is, for the butterflies in your stomach spread throughout the rest of your body. Your shoulders rise from the tension, and your body whips around to face his. "Niran!!" You exclaim, the heat rising in your face drastically.

Your reaction makes him laugh, arms hovering over his stomach before one moves so that his hand rests on his hip. The other rises to his chin, metal fingers gently stroking it as he looks away to pretend to be pondering. "Hmm, well..it was only a matter of time, I suppose. Everybody falls for me eventually. I'm not surprised."

You laugh at his confidence and gently push him backwards before turning back to your shared dinner. An open-mouthed smile stretches its way onto his lips as he watches you, an amused huff passing through his nose before he folds his hands behind his back and steps forward. "So? Are you?" He questions further, a mischievous grin on his face that says that he's trying to pull more reactions out of you.

Instead of answering his question, you turn off the stove and grab two bowls from the cabinets next to you. You pour out two servings and hold one out to him. "Here, eat." You redirect him, the tan man letting out an elongated sigh before taking the bowl you offer to him and stomping to the couch.

You chat throughout the meal, and you swear that a conversation with Niran is never a conversation without laughter. He always knows the punchlines to make and just how to make them so that you'll remember it for weeks afterwards. Not a day goes by where he does not make you giggle at least once, and every time he is able to draw one from you, he feels accomplished. If making you laugh is the only thing that he will ever do right in this world, then he's okay with that.

After finishing dinner, you both return to studying. You worked relentlessly for hours, only taking one break to grab a snack and water without counting bathroom breaks. What happened while you were preparing dinner remained in the back of your mind the entire time that you worked. If you could have stayed in his arms like that forever, you would have without hesitation. His embrace brings a comfort that you long for every moment that you are not in it, and you believe that nothing can compare to it. It is warm, loving and everything you could ever want. None of this means that you're falling in love with him, though, right? His teasing rings around in your brain ruthlessly, a question that you're sure wasn't meant to be taken seriously, but now, it has seeped well past your physical body and latched onto your conscious.

Your head spins non-stop the closer all of these thoughts were to the front of your mind, so you decided to work even harder to try to ignore it. When Niran noticed that you were starting to get sleepy and almost nodding off to sleep, he told you to sleep in his bed. You insisted that you were fine, that you didn't need to sleep, and as much as he wanted to pick you up and throw you onto the bed to make you sleep, he resisted and decided to let you meet the consequences of your actions when you would wake up tomorrow with a sore neck and back. You eventually did pass out over the desk, head tucked in your arms snuggly.

Niran didn't notice that you had passed out until almost an hour after, his eyes drifting up from the book in his hands to check on you. Seeing you all tuckered out over his desk brings a smile to his face. You have always pushed yourself far past your limits, much like him. Maybe that's why the two of you are so good for each other, and why he likes you so much. You are one in the same, and you always take care of one another. When he needs someone to ramble to, you are his person, and when you are feeling down, he is the one that picks you up. More than anything, he loves you, and knowing that you are in it for the long haul brings him more joy than he could ever express to you.

He has been in love with you for a very long time. The teasing, the "jokes", the attention and affection that he gives you are very real, and he has been waiting for you to realize his feelings for a very long time. He hasn't told you yet for that reason, not to mention how funny he finds your obliviousness. The man sets his book onto the desk and stands from his seat, grabbing a big, fluffy blanket from his bed and returning to his seat. He slides right next to you and wraps the blanket around both of your shoulders comfortably. His arms rest crossed on the desk and adjusts the blanket on his shoulders a little before tucking his head against them closely, brown eyes taking the time to admire your sleeping face. Nothing could wipe away the lovesick smile on Niran's face as he is blessed with this moment, where he gets to cherish the peace that is designated for just the two of you. Curse the heaviness that weighs into his eyes as they slow to a close, for he wanted to look at you just a little bit longer before falling asleep.

You do not expect what you see when you awaken the next morning. Your eyes peel open to a familiar face, fast asleep directly in front of yours. It takes you a few seconds to realize how close Niran is to you, your spatial awareness clouded by sleepiness. But oh, once you recognize that there is no space between your faces, your cheeks are set ablaze. You are wide awake now, eyes blown completely open and body still as stone. Your instincts tell you to back up, but you are far too flustered to bring yourself to move. There's also part of you that doesn't really want to move. You have been in close proximity to Niran when you have cuddled before, but now, you can take the time to gaze at him uninterrupted. His sleeping face is relaxed and his hair falls into a pool of angel wing white behind his head. Compared to the smug persona that he dresses himself with on a daily basis, he looks serene in this moment. Oh, how you wish that you had the ability to stop time, because if you could, you would pause everything just so that you could look at him more.

…Fuck.

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lux1fer · 5 months ago

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oopsies i forgot to show you guys the finished product of this yeah a few weeks ago the rp actually finished completely. im really happy with how this animatic came out and id definitely be willing to finish it. itd definitely take me a year at the least though this rp means the world to me. im gonna be emotional for a second sorry folks but like i havent had this much fun in a roleplay since my old warrior cat rp days- even then they were never as good as this one was. none gave me this much whimsy a thank you to @interncontinental for hosting this amazing rp. you're awesome /gen anyways, timestamps below ! this is gonna be. another wall of text.Again. so cw for text wall if ur prone to seizures caused by text. ive tried spacing the text out to help but it's probably still pretty bad, so forewarning !

0:00 ink and error (alongside many others) are trapped in this safehouse(the multiverse outside it is collapsing) which. as the name depicts. keeps them safe the safehouse has a dome surrounding it that's miles thick with concrete, metal, all that 0:13 error REALLY does not like being trapped here, so he tried breaking through the walls with his blasters 0:26 ink attempts to convince him not to (as it is against the rules to break the walls) but error doesn't listen. they have a big fight and error ends up breaking the dome's outer layer- which is what essentially lights up the entire place, and gives the illusion they're on earth. 0:51 he, alongside ink, are sent to a dungeon as punishment. (they end up making a friend there) and they use the owner of the dome's aunt to bribe him into letting everyone out. 1:17 error and the owner end up having a private discussion, in which error realizes the owner- the guy he DESPISED, was exactly like him. they both killed multiverses. they both killed people for fun. 1:22 he ends up having a fight with his own morals, before deciding he'd change for the better. 1:29 error frees the owner's aunt in exchange for the freedom of the people locked in the dungeon with him. 1:42 while he's walking out of the dungeon, he apologizes to ink for everything he's done 1:45 error walks back to his room and cries. 1:48 ink ends up pushing a chocolate bar with a note on it through the crook at the bottom of error's door the note says he forgives him. error cries again because of it. 1:51 ink and error end up hugging

1:52 eventually, ink realizes that he's run out of his lil emotion vials due to the corruption of the multiverse, which is an issue ! 1:59 due to ink's rapidly decaying health, error decides to give up half of his soul to save the guy from going kaput! this causes even more issues 2:04 nightmare- who had come to the safehouse, decides to mess with error's mind. he convinces him to get back into his old habits, under the pretense that he's weak and pathetic otherwise. error believes this. (also nightmare was redesigned by a friend of mine- her name is al! she doesnt have tumblr i dont believe though so raghh i cant ping her) 2:17 in what can only be described as a mental breakdown, error attempts to take back the half of his soul he gave to ink 2:30 error hesitates- he doesn't truly want to hurt ink, though he's not too sure why. 2:36 (its not on screen cus i couldn't fit it) error decides to capture and attempt to kill pj and gradient (who are here too!) instead, but this backfires as ink was no longer captured. ink knocks him out with his brush. 2:42 the corruption, which had been kept safely outside of the safehouse, has crept in due to corrupted individuals entering the dome. this forces everyone to escape through a previously blocked up exit the owner had built. 2:44 huge timeskip- essentially, the place they had found to live in after fleeing caught on fire, forcing everyone to run away Again! 2:46 in the new new place they had escaped to, the corruption Also arrived! the location was a cloud castle that floated above an ocean. which was quickly corrupting. the castle collapses, and floods with corrupted water. this scene needs a LOT of context-- the bandaged character by the name of blaze (owned by @teyvawni by the way go check out his stuff) arrived to the safehouse a while ago, with his brother following suit. said brother was corrupted. fresh, paperjam, and gradient were nearby when they arrived, and upon seeing the corrupted individual, fresh decided to commit Murder! this obviously upsets blaze, and he ends up killing both fresh AND pj and gradient- pj and gradient's death being present here. ink is watching 2:47 hinto, who is one of, if not the only friend error made in this roleplay ends up getting brutally murdered. this scene depicts him dying in error's embrace (you will see these two a lot whenever i draw this rp. i love them so much) 2:49 after the cloud castle collapses, they escape to what is essentially just error's void except everything is fluffy everyone present was given a choice- the universe was resetting, as the corruption had completely taken over Everything. including universes seperate from utau. you either stay awake for the 3 trillion years it took to completely reset the entire universe, or you sleep. considering error's friend was now a ghost and he didnt want to waste this time sleeping without spending time with his best friend, he chooses to stay awake for the entire 3 trillion years. 2:51 after those 3 trillion years, error is reasonably Exhausted. everyone else is exploring this new place they arrived in, while he is simply sitting in the corner and observing. he can only really stand speaking with hinto as he watches everyone else bicker and do whatever. 2:52 after error Brutally murders the person who killed hinto (this is not included in the animatic), error, ink, and dream are speaking to eachother in a nearby bamboo forest. nightmare interrupts and attacks ink with dust tagging along. big fight occurs, error and ink are mortally wounded, and are probably hashtag Screwed! 2:56 in a last ditch effort to save the people he cares about, error decides to sacrifice the half of his soul still left to save ink from dying.

soo Yeah! thats it! if this gets like. 20 notes im gunna make a comic based off of this. this isnt to incentivize people to like or reblog (Though that would be pretty swag of you ,, flutters my eyelashes) i just want an excuse :3 ill probably do it either way. eventually

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sunofpandora · 1 year ago

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This a concept im exploring for a new Neteyam x reader series I’m working on called ‘Virago.’

A story about a warrior!reader X neteyam who’s been raised with a ‘I don’t need anyone but myself’ mindset.

The story follows the path of Neteyam and the reader finding sanctuary within eachother and the reader trusting neteyam to protect her even from battles that aren’t his to fight.

I love the idea of projecting some of Jake and Neytiri’s live story elements into Neteyam x Reader works.

As I’m writing this, something came to me that I think should be shared 🤷🏽‍♀️

Before anyone comes for me, I just wanna say I love Jeytiri with a passion.

Don’t get me wrong. Jake and neytiri raised this fandom. The og’s fr. I’m telling my kids and my grandkids about them. They are my favorite love story.

A man who leaves his entire planet for the woman he loves?

Ugh. We all need a Jake.

…BUT

What if In the next avatar movie Neytiri can’t find herself to forgive Jake?

Not to the point where it forms a void between them to a point of resentment, but in a general sense of starting to loose some trust in him?

The RDA returning is in no way, shape or form Jake’s fault, and neither is Neteyam’s death.

But Neytiri entrusted Jake and held him to his promises when he vowed to protect their children, and a good 70% of that movie were the kids being kidnapped, bullied, kidnapped, threatened, tied up, abducted, and just generally traumatized because of someone from Jake’s past life.

Jake sully is a character who is haunted by his own shadow.

According to the visual dictionary,

“Jake is tempered by his concerns for his family and the guilt he feels for the lives he lost all those years ago.”

Truly a tragic character in his own rite.

He can never seem to escape this shadow of who he used to be.

Quite literally being hunted down by a former enemy.

But let’s discuss Neytiri for a moment.

A woman of the forest, fierce and beautiful. Loyal to her people and her culture.

She will never truly understand every aspect of the repercussions of Jake’s actions.

Why? Because Jake has embraced the motto of ‘the family protector’

Which is a positive feat, of course.

And that he does. Jake proves himself to be a good father and protective of his children 100%.

But Neytiri looks at this side of Jake’s past life through a window.

Not a mirror.

A window of

‘Oh. The sky people are gone. My family is safe’.

And then colonel Scarface 2.0 comes back to fuck her shit up.

Jake is a good father. May that fact not be lost on us as audience.

I wish sometimes we could see into the tortured mind of Neytiri.

But we can’t. So let’s review some facts.

Where does Jake come from? Earth.

Who did he work for? The RDA.

What does the RDA do? Mine resources and fuck shit up.

Neytiri’s father, sister, ikran, son, a good portion of the fellow na’vi who were apart of the omaticaya in the first movie? Dead.

What do these things have in common?

All their lives were taken by the RDA and the humans.

I’m not usually one to quote myself, but for those of you who have read my fic ‘diaphanous’

“Trust is a fragile thing. And most protect fragile things.”

“It's a cruel joke, really. Disguising something as binding as affection, to cradle someone's heart within the palms of your hands, to build it a home out of glass and shatter it.”

Neytiri trusted Jake.

Jake says to her,

“Look I've got nothing. I got no plan. But I can protect this family, that I can do. But I know one thing. Wherever we go, this family is our fortress.”

He can protect his family….that he can do…

#avatar the way of water #jake avatar #neteyam #neteyam x reader #kiri sully #avatar fanfiction #lo’ak x reader #neytiri #neteyam x you #neteyam sully

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imaginespazzi · 8 days ago

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hey nivi! i've read GH since the beginning and always look forward to bookclub reviews so i thought i'd write my own since ive been suffering for 42 days without a new chapter 😆

heartbreaking to see the moment paige's hope gets crushed. like why was i hoping azzi would show up in that moment... unrealistic bc you like to break our hearts sm

WE NEED TO KNOW THE DETAILS OF THE BREAKUP RNNN i feel like azzi had good reason to be hesitant but its killing me that we dont know what. the miscommunication angst is gonna go crazy

Drew doesn’t really remember Paige without Azzi- doesn’t remember a time before his sister knew how to heal without the brunette’s touch HELPPPP their breakup def shattered his perception of love

Because Drew and Paige are cut from the same material and letting Azzi into the folds seems to just come naturally to both of them. rly giving me hope that everything was gonna be okay.. when is drew gonna come around 🙁 im wondering if paige ever explained why they broke up

“I won’t let it happen again.” i fear drew is not gonna let it slide this time.. i can sense the obstacles its gonna take for them to be together again

i love when paige calls azzi baby.

i dont know why i was surprised but it makes sense that paige hasn't forgiven azzi yet. im curious to see if paige truly knows azzis reasoning for saying no. maybe if they have that conversation later and azzi reveals why she did it then paige might have clarity and forgive her so they can move on

“I know what she deserves. I think I know what’s good for my daughter,” Azzi says steely and Paige feels something cold squeezing through her ribcage, “no soda Stephie. End of discussion.” guys i dont think this is about soda.. i think this is the beginning of azzi pulling away and realizing how much paige has attached herself to their life and its scaring her

“what are you gonna do when she walks away again? When she lets you go again, what are you gonna do Paige?” if azzi overheard this i hope she takes it as motivation to reassure paige she wont leave instead of running away again. in her head she probably thinks that leaving sooner rather than later is the best choice but the only real choice is to STAY!!!

"Paige feels the blood drain out of her body as she slowly turns around to find Stephie and Azzi -their faces ashen with identical expressions of betrayal- staring at her. " earth shattering. stephie finding out this way was heartbreakingggg. i thought that paige could stay if she wanted to though i think this could be worked through but in this moment everyone is so heated and azzi and stephie are definitely thinking the worst things rn NIVI FIX THIS!! i think everyone just needs to talk it out and take small steps to forgive each other.

anyways thank you so much nivi for writing the best pazzi series ive ever read. it is always the light of my day, week, and month when you post. im so excited to see how this plays out i am craving moree. but take your time i will be right here when you are ready to release the next chapter

love,

-💋💄

Hello hello friend, welcome to book club!

It would just be too simple if she had shown up and I like to keep things a little....complex shall we say.

I think Azzi's reason were valid but perhaps not the greatest execution. I'm very excited to eventually go into her POV about it and keen to see how y'all respond to that.

Drew's worldview was changed by the breakup and now he's very guarded about himself and his sister.

Interesting theories :)

I really like seeing y'alls responses because I think y'all might be surprised by how I eventually decide write things out in comparison to what y'all are expecting but it also helps me add a little bit to what I'm already planning.

Thank YOU so much my love for reading and taking the time to give me your thoughts, that's always so very appreciated.

#ask #fic talk #notes time with nivi 💅🏽#💋💄 anon my new angel <3 #ugh i love how much bookclub has grown

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lestappenwdc · 1 year ago

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"something ive been thinking about today for sure" and then you leave us in SUSPENSE

Hahah I usually don't put my thoughts here as soon as they appear cos I don't want to make any statements in the heat of the moment since I know people on tumblr tend to grasp onto everything they read and take it as facts. BUT nevertheless here are my thoughts on Max pushing Charles off every time they start on the front row. This is gonna be a mess.

(I do not know how to write a short response)

I like everyone else was slightly surprised that Charles was so easy to forgive Max after he apologized in Vegas. I genuinely thought this time he would at least.. discuss it in a more heated manner (I'm thinking max and checo in Austria after the sprint). I wasn't sure about the state of their relationship after and I know it would not be austria 2019 but I did not expect charles to brush it off the way he did.

Thinking about it now after the race is over I kinda understand why he did brush it off. It did not affect his race that much, he was able to retake the lead, he was gunning for a win anyway, Max got the penalty, it was all fine. The safety car was the bigger issue so of course he's gonna focus on that instead of put his already new and fragile relationship with max in jeopardy over this.

That being said, I do not condone Max acting like this every time. It says something that when the race started before t1 even happened I was expecting Charles to be pushed. I think Max was genuinely scared in Austin but when Charles brushed that one off he is now more relaxed in trying riskier moves with Charles. And the thing is, Charles doesn't care now. He's car is shit, he rarely has a chance to win when Max does this so it's easy for Charles to say "it's okay this Max and Race Max are different, I want to maintain this friendship so I will forgive" now that he's p7 and essentially not fighting for anything in the championship.

But would Charles feel the same way if they were fighting for a championship? I don't think so. And it worries me because by that point they will be closer as friends probably and Max will try riskier moves and all of them will be brushed off by Charles but at one point I think it is bound to snap. And I'm scared that the more it goes on and the more times it happens its gonna be more serious on Charles' side. As in he's gonna be more hurt by it but also the strain in the relationship would be bigger.

I may be wrong and I may be reading them completely wrong. They may surprise me again and have a clean championship battle with no drama and there is nothing I would love more than that. And so far all I've been doing is praying for a championship battle and not thinking what that Entails but now that this has happened multiple times and now that Max has the impression that he can do what he wants on track as long as he says sorry and bats his eyelashes after, I think Max is not suddenly gonna start clean racing. He's gonna play even more dirty if they're fighting for a championship. I'm not saying Charles won't, I'm saying they both will but seeing this I do not think anymore that it's gonna be a clean battle. I'm still gonna enjoy and pray for it but with a hint of caution bc like I said what im seeing now (as cute as it is from a shipper perspective) worries me a little.

Hope this manages to paint a picture of my thoughts a little. Cos they're mostly just jumbled together pieces of "what if this happens what if that happens". But this is the general direction I'm going in. What if Max continues doing this when the stakes are higher and what if Charles doesn't take it as well as he is now when he is actually fighting for something? That's a lot of what ifs 😂 but yeah..

#lestappen #charles leclerc #max verstappen #hope i managed to explain it well #nothing against max obv #for those who dont know im a max girl and i will not stand for max hate in my inbox #i am dicussing the state of the friendship od my 2 fav drivers here #f1 #f1 discussions by me

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konohamaru-sensei · 4 months ago

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To me, Kimi ni todoke is a perfect story

What can I say now that I have finished season 3? The season 3 we didn't even know we would be getting? Well, I used to tell friends that I am happy with whatever comes, but now im greedy and I want it all. I am very Kazehaya about new KnT seasons, I guess.

Anyway, I have been browsing the tag a little to find gifs and reactions and such, and I already see discussions (not much tbh but still) about how this and that in the story should be different and while the anime did skip things (Rip to "you are mine now" Nakamura-san would have sounded SO GOOD!), people are satisfiedI think. I am, at least, very happy.

But to me, Kimi ni todoke is perfect. and not perfect in this way that i have small problems but overall I'm happy. No, I find it perfect perfect. Every storyline every character development from beginning to end is perfect. I guess people complaining about Ayane or whatever, even if its not here on tumblr that much, just show me that I can't interact with fans of this fandom either.

See, ever since I found KnT in 2009 when I was just 17 (about the age of the characters in the story funnily enough) I have always rewatched it when I was doing poor mentally. I must have seen it 12-15 times over the years, I've probably watched it twice after my fathers death alone. These characters mean the world to me, all of them. I love all of them.

But the girls! At different times of my life I could always connect to another one of them. So much so that while I like Chizu best and think she resembles me the most (in fact, I think she is the anime character that is closest to me in personality), I find a part of me in all of them.

When I found the story I had just lost my friendgroup (because an ex lied about me, it happens) and I had to go back to being alone, so I emphasised with Sawako (and her distancing herself from her friends always makes me cry, without fail, always).

When I moved out to study in 2011 and was mentally so low in 2012 and dated guys because I thought otherwise they wouldnt be my friends, I reread Ayanes okinawa arc over and over and over again.

And of course I have my friends call me by a different name than my given name because my given name is boring lol Kurumi and me.

And ah, Chizu, it would be too long to explain. Too personal. Nobody would care. I had a best friend once that I lost because I was scared of our friendship ending. I love Chizuru because we are the same, and I'm jealous of her because she is better than me. I don't have time or space to express my feelings. Level up to Nisi friendship level 6 to hear tragic backstory.

Also, I can't talk about this show without mentioning how much the voice actors mean to me. Long before I knew any seiyuu-names I knew Kazehayas-voice. In fact, I hated oikawa in hq SPECIFICALLY because he has kazehayas voice and isnt nice! You gotta be nice with that voice man! Their voices are tattooed onto my soul and when I hear them in other places I always think of KnT first.

I love them so very much that when I watched the Tokyo E ncounter episode with Nakamura Yuuchi (Ryu) and Sanpei Yuuko (Chizuru) when they are playing Halo and he is teasing her for having bad aim, I started crying - like sobbing. It was so weird I have you know but I just sat there and I couldn't get it together.

Anyway, Kimi ni todoke is perfect to me. Everything about it means the world to me. I have to physically restrain myself to not rewatch the season again.

Please netflix, finish it, please. You may cut some things. I will forgive you if you cut some things, but give me the end.

#nisi talks tag #long post #kimi ni todoke #ok that was my... brainfart about knt #i may just rewatch that tokyo en couter episode tonight just cause #PLEASE NETFLIX GIVE ME THE CHIZU CONFESSION PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE #you made my favourite scene SO PERFECT #so give me hte CONFESSIon #ITS WILD that chizu and ryu mean SO MUCH to me long before i started being a wild nakamura yuu chi simp #but now that i am its even BETTER #the THIK ABOUT IT THEN #and LET IT END #scene was ALREADY MY FAV #and now VOICED #literally made my heart flutter a little not gonna lie #UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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kill0mtr · 1 year ago

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makes your bsd ship into a chatfic

[RE] has begun chatting with [EP]. < 8:37 - 7/04/2017 >

[RE]: hey hey!! nice to finally get a ping from you. you know i dont like waitin... >^<

[EP]: Ah, yes... Very sorry, RE. Just... a busy day, today. I'm getting ready for a duel.

[RE]: a DUEL? thought ya were a writer?? n detective or whatevers

[EP]: A duel of wits, my friend. I am going up against a self-proclaimed "great detective"... Though, I'm positive I will win.

[RE]: great detective?? bah!! i dont think they could even be nearly as great as ME!! im the worlds smartest detective, after all! >~>

[EP]: We've... discussed this, yes. You seem to be quite active in the detective world. Though... I'm a bit confused. Are you a detective, or... do you just like doing it?

[RE]: i am a detective!!

[RE]: the best ever!!

[RE]: have been since i was 14!!!

[EP]: 14?! That's... Hmm. Well, I can't stop something that's already happened.

[EP]: Ah, I must get going...

[RE]: whyyyyyy

[RE]: wait CRAP i gotta go too!! ughhh this case will be SO easy. idk why they even NEED me there. sigh. i guess theyre just too stupid for a simple easy case!!

[EP]: Well, now, RE, that's not very nice. Perhaps, they just need a second opinion.

[RE]: theres gonna be another guy there thats supposedly """better""" at it then them. the audacity of it all... im supposed to solve this case before him, which, SNORE, i could do that in my sleep!! >^>

[EP]: Well, I hope it goes well. We'll talk later. I bid thee adieu.

[RE]: byeeeeeeee ep!!!

[RE] has stopped chatting with [EP]. < 8:56 - 7/04/2017 >

[RE] has begun chatting with [EP]. < 13:45 - 7/05/2017 >

[RE]: eeeeeeeep

[EP]: Yes?

[RE]: you said we would talk later yesterday but then that didnt happen!!!

[EP]: Ah, that... I... do not take loss well.

[RE]: oh. ohhh

[RE]: well, then i have good news!! i won yesterday with the detective case!!!

[EP]: ...Oh?

[RE]: yup!! i mean the guy like, fell to his knees. it was kinda pathetic

[RE]: n cute

[EP]: RE... What did this fellow look like?

[RE]: ep i thought we said we wouldn't spill too much!! but like. his hair kinda covered his face n he had this cute lil ponytail on the side that fell on his shoulder

[RE]: he was much taller than me n like. i could TELL he wasnt japanese, cuz like, the accent, n everythin

[EP]: I need to go.

[RE]: ep??? whats wrong?

[EP] stopped chatting with [RE]. < 14:23 - 7/05/2017 >

[RE]: the hell????

[RE] has begun chatting with [EP]. < 17:03 - 7/06/2017 >

[RE]: checking in. cuz you just dipped yesterday

[RE]: kinda a dick move but like. i need an explanation ep

[RE] has begun chatting with [EP]. < 12:29 - 7/09/2017 >

[RE]: helloooo. ep. im not mad i just want an explanation

[RE] has begun chatting with [EP]. < 3:01 - 10/21/2017 >

[RE]: i gave you some space, okay? and look, its my birthday. please come back

[RE] has begun chatting with [EP]. < 9:17 - 10/23/2017 >

[RE]: yknow what? im done. this sucks. screw you

[EP] has begun chatting with [RE]. < 7:06 - 1/04/2018 >

Error! User [RE] can not be reached! Would you like to speak to another user? If this message is incorrect, please contact our support number here: (555) 787-678.

[EP]: I'm so sorry.

Error! User [RE] can not be reached! Would you like to speak to another user? If this message is incorrect, please contact our support number here: (555) 787-678.

[EP]: I miss you terribly.

Error! User [RE] can not be reached! Would you like to speak to another user? If this message is incorrect, please contact our support number here: (555) 787-678.

[EP]: And I hope you can forgive me, friend.

Error! User [RE] can not be reached! Would you like to speak to another user? If this message is incorrect, please contact our support number here: (555) 787-678.

[RE] has restored their account! < 18:30 - 1/12/2023 >

[RE] has begun chatting with [EP] < 18:34 - 1/12/2023 >

[RE]: HOLY SHIT

[RE]: it works. IT WORKS

[EP]: Of course it still works, Ranpo, it's not that old.

[RE]: reading over our last messages. that was sixish years ago... cant believe we were friends and then poof!! you straight up ghosted me!!

[EP]: Looking back, I wish I never did. I was a coward, dear, and I'm so sorry I almost ruined perfection.

[RE]: perfection?? pfft, dont be like that. im prettyyy sure in our first ever conversation i deduced you werent going anywhere. youre too into me to just disappear, even after a few years

[EP]: ...Into?! I... That's...

[RE]: im not that dumb, ed

[EP]: I... know that. Though, I feel as though we should chat offline, about that. So... that there's no running away.

[RE]: im still salty you just dipped on me. sigh... but im into you too so i cant really be mad

[EP]: Ranpo... Please. Let's talk offline.

[RE]: yeah yeah, im coming over. just know youre getting a bf for an early birthday present and perhaps more than a kiss if thats cool ;D

[EP]: RANPO!

[RE]: hehehehhe >:D

[RE] stopped chatting with [EP]. < 18:52 - 1/12/2023 >

#nothing like a lil ranpoe to rejuvenate my motivation for writing #long post #sorry it got long. that will happen again #thanks for reading. i dont really like this but its kinda just been sitting there so. :P #sorry if its ooc. im tired

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a-dragons-journal · 2 years ago

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Hello! Hopefully you haven't gotten an ask like this before (and forgive me if you have) but for quite some time I've been kinsidering a kitsune? I may not be a kitsune, I just feel like I may be some kind of animal diety/spirit creature and so far kitsunes resonate with me the most.

However, im not sure if being kitsune kin is cultural appropriation as im black, not Japanese. I absolutely wouldn't want to do anything disrespectful like that and if that were the case I wouldn't even bother researching/kinsidering it further and confirming a possible new kin type. (assuming I am one!)

Anyway, I really like your blog, you always seem so sweet and welcoming in the community. thank you for your time if you answer this, have a nice day. ♡

obligatory "I am white as hell, these are opinions I've formed from listening to POC talk about this and talking about it with them, I am open to discussing them further" disclaimer.

Short version: as far as I know, the culture kitsunes are from is not a closed one; therefore faithful information on it is available to the public, therefore you have the resources necessary to be accurate in calling yourself a kitsune or not, therefore you're fine. The reason kintypes from closed cultures are a problem is not because anyone's claiming you can't have the experiences you're having, it's that chances are extremely good that the version of the creature you're basing your label off of is an appropriative, bastardized one, therefore calling yourself that is reinforcing that appropriation.

Long version, copy-pasted and edited from an older post:

So, there’s exceptions to the “being otherkin is not cultural appropriation” thing, but the rule that makes sense to me and that I’ve been working under is this: the only time a kintype can be “appropriated” is if it’s from a closed culture that doesn’t share stories about that kintype with outsiders, and thus whatever ideas the person has about that kintype that’s led them to label their identity as that creature are wrong, and that’s the appropriation - the fact that they’re (likely inadvertently, but still) using and spreading a bastardized, appropriative understanding of the creature, when the actual mythos of that creature doesn’t actually match their experiences and is thus a mislabel.

The most infamous example: “w*ndigokin” frequently being skulldeer cryptids, which is not what that creature actually is, because it’s from a closed culture that doesn’t share stories about it with outsiders and thus the public idea of what it is is wrong and appropriative.

To my knowledge, and please somebody correct me if I am wrong about this, this is not true for kitsunes, or other creatures from Japanese mythos. The information about what a kitsune is and the stories around them are, as far as I know, freely available to anyone who goes looking (I’m sure there’s weird misinformation out there, because It’s The Internet, but the correct information is out there, which isn’t true of, say, w*ndigos). Therefore, more than likely if someone has done the research and is calling themself kitsunekin, they actually do match what a kitsune is mythologically speaking at least to some degree.

And, assuming that is the case (that is, that they do match faithfully and it’s not a mislabel)… as far as I can see, you can’t really call someone having an experience that’s generally not something they chose to experience “appropriation.” Appropriation is an action you take - being otherkin is, generally speaking, not. You can call it “inappropriate” as much as you want, but it is not going to change the fact that someone is experiencing shifts, instincts, memories/noemata, dysphoria and euphoria, etc. that match with a kitsune’s description. It seems both strange and pointless to me to try to argue that someone isn’t allowed to label themself with the label that clearly is accurate because they were unlucky enough to be born in a different culture.

I do agree with the statement that someone’s experience of otherkinity is influenced by their culture and life experiences - but that doesn’t mean that other influences can’t also be present, or that their species can only come from those life experiences. How many of us had the experiences of nonhumanity we do before we ever encountered records of our species? How many fictionkin are there out there who had their experiences of fictionality before their source media was even published, much less before they had the chance to encounter it? To claim that it’s not possible to have a kintype that isn’t part of your personal culture and life experiences is to not only flatly ignore the fact that people do in fact sometimes match up with kintypes from other cultures, but also to imply ignoring those experiences. That it’s not as likely? Sure, it probably isn’t. That it requires more careful research to ensure you’re not getting a misrepresented idea of what the creature is? Absolutely. That it’s not possible, or that it’s somehow appropriative despite being a typically-involuntary experience? That doesn’t follow through.

(…Now, there’s more room to argue about whether it’s appropriative to choose to form/reinforce an identity as a kitsune (or whatever else), but a) I frankly don’t feel qualified to have that discussion and b) it would be kind of derailing from the point of this post, so let’s perhaps save that for another conversation.)

More conversations on this in this tag, for your perusal.

#otherkin #otherkin and cultural appropriation #kitsunekin #rani talks #asked and answered #anonymous

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fourleaf-artlocke-tracker · 2 months ago

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HGSS - Stream #1

Stream began on 9/11 around 5:30 CST Announcement Tumblr Post

Stream Summary below the cut :3

Starter chosen! A Cyndaquil named Kettle! +1 Pokemon!

Ethan is Forrest, how fun! :3

After a long debate and one misspelt poll name (minon -fish) the rival is named! Wallow, the evil version of Willow who is Definitely Real and Willow totally didn't just commit those crimes. Totally. Yep. Awesome.

The rival's creature is name Potodile.... cute creature with pot on head

One time, it didn't talk to it's ingame mom before leaving and it felt so bad that it reset the game. That is a canon thing that they said. honestly real and canon.

The first encounter, a Pidgey! Named Moe Wings! +1 Pokemon!

An idea was tossed around about giving her yuri wings and a lot of history was discussed during the drawing of this creature!! very cute and a v fun segment

tbh i had to go get water and missed Poke Bowl's catching, but we got Poke Bowl the Metapod with only Harden! How fun :) + 1 Pokemon!

Soon after, Willow caught a Spinarak! Between the choices Bobbin and Spindle, it chose Bobbin! Personally, this guy is my favorite thus far :) + 1 Pokemon!

Then, we arrived in the Belsprout Tower! Thing! (idk ive never played HGSS) and caught a silly Ghastly! Dimple! Well, silly sure is a word for it. Watching this thing being animated was... interesting. :) + 1 Pokemon!

Mob Psycho Ghastly. Horrible. Higher resolution image because the people need to see this.

I agree, user keyboardTennis and user Plush0fairy.

Accidental creature jumpscare.......

Zubat encounter! We catch it with general ease! This name was a chat-name, and we chose Doctor LawRent. Awesome. Perfect. Darling baby. I would kill for her. She works a solid internship and wants to move her way up the corporate ladder. Good for her. Graduated with honors. +1 Pokemon!

oh my GOD its so low quality forgive me. pleasee…

The chat enticed Wyll with the Wooper, but the false prophet himself, a rodent. The allure of life, only to discover failure itself. Fate's cruel hands have touched this creature and have hurt the people. Velvet joins the team. + 1 Pokemon!

angry creature... and transgender.... and yuri with Moe Wings

Whoopass x Pidgay yuri mention!!! woo!!!! tragedy...

Willow realizes that the level cap is 13. Oh No...

"HE IS A BALL!!! He has nothing to drop but himself! and my standards of him..." - Willow 2k24

oh!

awesome!

Dimple almost dies soon after. 4 health vs a lvl3 Belsprout. Good job, Dimple. Woo!

Velvet x LawRent arises as the new yuri ship... OH AND POLYCULE IDEA HAS BEEN TOSSED INTO THE RING! WOOOOOOOO!!!

Willow defeats the tower's Elder Li!

it just tried to teahc flash to dimple oh no oh fuck oh NO

After a quick almost-death with Moe Wings, Willow dives into the gym! Falkner makes a great show of how bird pokemon are superior and then gets his first pokemon absolutely DESTROYED by Moe Wings.

Attempting a switch, Dimple is brought down to 4hp after a single gust. Swap out into Kettle, a few close-calls, and then the first gym badge is Willow's!

Rock Smash.... i want to rock smash in my skull for writing this

oh my god chills voice. what the hell. deku?

Willow uses hacker power. magic. i think. i dunno. they use their magical powers of inserting numbers into boxes to roll the Mareep egg in the word game...

oh my god it encounters a wooper after we've already got velvet... the true prophet watches our failures and laughs... laughs... laughs... on and on... but we are the fools, the jesters among the courts of man and it knows. It dances around our wishes and sets them ablaze. "No water types!" it screams and shouts.

hehe creature

they are all 5 pixels tall in his screenshot.... so tiny...

KETTLE EVOLUTION!!!! darling child baby boy.....

chills possession arc went crazy

litte creatures....

im going to be so fr rn. i did not watch the rest of the stream because i had work in the morning and did not want to stay until 12am for the HGSS anniversary... guys i have to pay my BILLS.

so if anyone was there and wants to submit a quick summary of the events then that transpired, then do tell me!!!

the stream is still ongoing if its september 11th so... :)

ADDED POKEMON: +7 LOST POKEMON: 0 NET POKEMON: +7

#fourleafisland #heart gold #soul silver #pokemon artlock #heartgold artlocke. number 1

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piercingnovember · 3 months ago

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let's give him a name. we must. if i don't give him a name then our discussions will become far too complicated and i don't think i deserve the confusion upon rereading. let's call him ross.

let me also preface this and say that, i do love my true love - who also needs a faux name. let's call him a martyr, he is after all. i love martyr with all of my head and heart, it's borderline all consuming. so i feel guilt in the post i am about to write. i feel guilty even putting it into a space where no one will ever read it except myself. but despite my all consuming feelings, there exists an arrow stricken into my hip by ross. he appears and takes my mind away. he's taken residence but he was never invited in the first place. was he?

anyway, all things must come out or they eat us alive. maybe i'm just saying it so i can develop a sense of shame. anything other than action. please god anything other than action.

please just let me say it. if there are higher powers do not strike me down for i am about to sin. forgive me. but as they say, there's no such thing as bad thoughts.

my mind is in a whirl regarding ross. he's everywhere, he's taking up everything. i want to taste him. it's been so long since i have craved the touch and taste of another, it's been so long since i've had it too. i imagine his lips on mine, his hands wrapping around my body, hair pulling, teeth biting, bruises from lips left too long on skin. he went away for the summer, i finally knew peace and honestly, i finally let him go. i wasn't thinking of our secret glances, our smiles and eyes searching each others faces. i didn't think about it after the first month or two of not seeing him. i think i may have even stopped looking; at least not frantically. not the way i do now that he's back. maybe it's simply the back and forth. i can feel it frantically coming off of him too. the urgency to see me, to talk to me. to taste. i know it's not in my head. i've got a sixth sense.

and of course, he's just there now. present. existing. beautiful. it's nauseating. i hate that there's no one to talk to this about. no one hates someone more than a cheater; everyone takes it personal and offensive. i tried to talk about it last year with a friend, i couldn't keep it in, but i can tell she thought less of me from it, she was shocked i could even utter the thoughts out loud. but what does anyone expect from me when he's tied a rope around my thoughts. how am i supposed to act with something this heavy on me.

i can try not to stare and try not to smile too big and resist the urge to reach out but how many times can you resist something before you just give in? it has to be over one hundred times by my measures.

i just want him. his new hair is breathtaking too. it compliments his smile well. it looks so soft i wish i could touch it. he looks tired too, like this summer has taken a toll on him. god, i want to ask him about it, i want to know everything. tell me all your secrets, i beg of you. but in typing this i may realize that i have to gain some control. i can't ask. i can't keep laughing and smiling. i can't compliment him, even when it aches to keep the words in.

i should be a better girl. but it's so hard when the bed at home feels so empty and cold.

edit: i masturbated and honestly it’s not even that serious he’s not all that im just ovulating… he is very charismatic tho

#ross #when martyr met me he said he heard i cheated on my ex boyfriend and that he didnt know if he could trust me #it wasnt true to me because it was things like this #is it cheating if its innocent #i have to put an end to it

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spacelolli · 4 months ago

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To be fair i avoid forums and discussions outside of fic so its possible this observation has been made before.

Im pretty sure Zack Fair is the strongest blue mage in ff canon.

So firstly, i wanna lay out my rationale for calling Zack a blue mage.

Now, i agree that ffvii does not have the traditional class system, but the bones of that system still makes its way into most ff games. In both the og and remake versions of ffvii, its clear that Aerith is meant to function as the party's white mage even though that classification system is not in use. Her high spirit stat and the Healing Wind limit break are pretty indicative. We can apply this logic to other party characters. Tifa is a monk and Cid is a dragoon and so on and so forth. (This is less clear cut, but I always treat Cloud as a black mage his magic stat is so high.)

If we can accept that characters may function as a class in everything but name, than we can pretty confidently classify Zack as a blue mage.

This is based solely on his mechanics in the og Crissis Core. I have not played the new version so any changes will not be considered here.

Zack's limit break is a randomly selected skill copied from people he's met. The entire basis of his character arc is how hes affected and influenced by the people in his life, and its reflected in his combat mechanics. One of Zack's earliest limit breaks is a bear fisted style he picked up from his immediate mentor Angeal. (god i hate that name) Zack learns how to cast Healing Wind halfway through the game after he meets and starts dating Aerith because he copied it from her. His entire shtick is copy. Y'know... the Blue Mage skill

(Im pulling entirely from memory so forgive me if im wrong but iirc Zack aslo get stat bonuses only after encountering certain mobs and collecting enough data. Basically still a copy ability in another form.)

The assertion that Zack is the strongest of the bunch is admittedly heavily biased.

I largely contribute that claim to the fact that hes duel-classing as a fighter. Hes also prone to power creep like any good video game PC.

Im gonna level with you. I dont like blue mages. I pretty much always bench blue mages, and never bother with blue magic. I fully realize blue mages tend to have higher dpt potential but its just not my play style. Im extremely poorly qualified to stack the different blue mages against each other. Sorry Gau and Kimahri... i just cant stand blue magic.

So the irony that my favourite character is my least favourite class is not lost on me.

Anyways Zack Fair is the best and I'll be hard pressed to be convinced otherwise ✌🏼

#ffvii #crisis core #im writing this instead of posting how much i hate myself #it is working? is the coping mechanism working?

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oswlld · 3 years ago

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I wanna talk about this whole family drama. This is just my unfiltered thoughts on not what I want for the families to handle their sons’ relationship or what hopes I have for what the drama actually is. If any of you have watched Shadowhunters, I just wanted to put into words how each of the Bad Buddy families have dealt with the rivalry, based on what we learned about how Maryse and Robert Lightwood were handled on the show.

I can only speak to how the TV show Shadowhunters portrayed the characters and motives, so if any of what I say contradicts what the book counterparts were like, welp.

SO, lets walk though how the Lightwood parents handled their involvement with the Circle, their legacy as Lightwoods, and how it affects their relationship with their children.

The Lightwood Family is considered The Kennedys of the nephilim world, which means their reputation is everything

Maryse married into the Lightwood name; she holds a title and three kids, but is not Lightwood by blood

When she and Robert tried to cut ties with the bad blood that eventually surfaced about the Circle, they tarnished the Lightwood name and reputation

Much of the show depicts the parents doing everything in their power to have their children build back their reputation and essentially “save them” from their disgrace

Additionally, the parents aren’t known to be fair or neutral to downworlders

Especially for Isabelle, Maryse treats her own daughter with very little respect due to her relationships with downworlders

We do eventually see the change and growth in Maryse towards Magnus and develops a better relationship with her daughter

What does this have to do with Pat and Pran’s parents? It can be split into

Pat’s parents playing into the “kids need to save their reputation”

Pran’s parents playing into the “cruelness to the downworlders/Isabelle relationship”

And both holding this alleged generational rivalry, much like the shadow world’s divide

To start, there’s that little crumb of dialog in ep 6 where Pran’s mom drops a hint that dad isn’t really an honorable man. Based on Maryse’s drive to have her children save their reputation, it’s safe to assume that Pat’s dad’s behavior all season drives that point home. Something bad happened that he’s not sharing with his kids and it’s costing him Pat’s happiness. It’s not affecting their business to a grand scale, I hope?, but it is enough to have Pran’s mom hang this burden over his head. It shuts him up in front of Pat. Now, he let’s Pran’s parent berate him and he projects that onto his kids by taking out his frustrations on them. Making them be better than him. He wants to dangle his kids’ achievements in front of the other family so that it would one day not be about him.

To add to that, he constantly called them jealous, which I believe must have been a festering wound to his ego about his former employees working for Pran’s family. Maybe there’s some resentment that’s tied to “failure”. Maryse was eventually banished from the shadow world and had her runes taken from her, while her husband was able to keep his status and even gets to run his own institute without repercussions. I don’t know if what Pat’s dad did will result in any repercussions or if he has already faced them offscreen. But he feels bad and maybe he feels like he’s disappointed his parents on some level. He’s repeating history with Pat and it’s evident with how immaturely he handled the whole architecture play fight.

On the other hand, Pran’s family are incredibly overbearing. They’re the neighbors you don’t want, even if there was no rivalry. They’re nitpicking territory space and picking fights any chance they get. It’s difficult to tell on their side whether the disdain they feel for Pat’s family is generational or if it is heavily on what Pat’s dad did (or both!), but whatever is fueling their side of the rivalry doesn’t ride on reputation. But if it does have to do with the dad, this thing that Pran’s mom is holding onto must be so deeply wounded in her. There’s deep resentment and white hot hatred. There’s enough there that made her pull Pran and send him away.

I am not sure we will see the same growth with Pran’s mom like what we did with Maryse towards Isabelle and Magnus, but I hope someday she will get there. But if this family drama is really what they thrive under, it’s really hard to debate with someone who feeds on the drama. Who picks a fight for the sake of fighting. But if Pran’s mom is using this one thing that she has against Pat’s dad to cause him grief, telling her son that he’s free to do and be whatever he wants just not with That family, what could the drama possibly be to resort to emotional (and eventually physical?) abuse to her own son? Either it’s bad enough that would drive them to stay in their home to take enjoyment in torturing their neighbors or not bad enough to just up and move due to what Pat’s dad did.

Now, how does this all reach some kind of resolution? Either they all address what is specifically tied to Pat’s dad and Pran’s mom or they simply not let whatever it is be put on their sons and their relationship with each other. If it is a generational thing, let it end with Pat and Pran and have the parents die on their respective hills.

#bad buddy #bad buddy the series #patpran #family drama talk #no theories to WHAT but me rambling on the WHYs #this had been rattling in my head all week #im new so forgive me if this has been discussed before

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attemptsonherlifepdf · 3 years ago

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fantastic mr fox: humanising animals, animalising men, and an exploration of masculine identity

‘this story is too predictable.’ / ‘predictable? really? what happens in the end?’ / ‘in the end, we all die. unless you change.’

mr fox, the titular character of wes anderson’s 2009 stop-motion adaptation of roald dahl’s children’s book, is a portrait of two conflicting manifestations of masculinity. he is built to demonstrate the crossover between tradition and modernity, between wild and civilised. characterised as a charming gentleman, almost renowned for his recklessness, mr fox combines his undomesticated instincts with a carefully crafted domestic life. he appears to spend more time manufacturing a perfect home and family than he does actually participating in it. the events of the movie serve to strip away his facade and present both the audience and protagonist with a harsh reality to deal with: the juxtaposing aspects of his identity that he must contend with in order to survive his situation. these aspects are demonstrated through the use of anthropomorphic animals. in essence, the text attempts to convey the message that while you can associate your actions with animal or human traits in order to characterise and frame them, you cannot change their value and their consequences. it serves as a critique of how the nature of male identity is exploited to shunt responsibility, and the movie specifically promotes a more collectivist mentality.

there are four key scenes that mark mr fox’s journey in terms of his identity. initially, we first see his identity openly questioned once he has moved into a new home (a large and expensive tree), just prior to him revealing his ‘master plan’ to kylie, who becomes his assistant of sorts. he asks, ‘why a fox? why not a horse, or a beetle, or a bald eagle? i’m saying this more as, like, existentialism, you know? who am i? and how can a fox ever be happy without, you’ll forgive the expression, a chicken in its teeth?’ he attributes his identity with the ability to fulfil his base desires, like he could in his youth. aspects of his later life such as employment, family, and safety restrict his ability and leaves him feeling untethered from himself. the movie opens with his youthful vibrance and recklessness, and is quickly contrasted with his dissatisfaction with his job, home, and life in general.

MR FOX

i dont want to live in a hole anymore. it makes me feel poor.

MRS FOX

we are poor, but we’re happy.

MR FOX

comme ci, come ca...

does anyone actually read my column?

having been moved out of the hole and into an expensive tree, mrs fox asks her husband:

MRS FOX

do you still feel poor?

MR FOX

less so.

constructing the ideal domestic space for himself and his family does not satisfy mr fox and he yearns for more, which is where is existentialism and ‘master plan’ come into play. domesticity was never going to satisfy mr fox, as he yearns for something youthful and risky and dazzling, adjectives not usually applied to a quiet and content home life. the consequences of this dissatisfaction are drastic and almost immediate.

soon, having been forced out of his new home and underground by an attack from the farmers, mr fox is faced with a situation he cannot charm his way out of. he attempts to apologise to his son and recite a speech to raise the morale of his family, and both of these attempts are shut down by those around him. the facade of his elaborate home, his monologues, even his suits, are abruptly stripped away leaving him with only his actions which he cannot charm his way out of. the reality is that he and his family, his neighbourhood, is stuck underground with no means of food as a result of his selfish actions. this prompts yet another key scene; his argument with felicity, which begins with her viciously hissing and scratching his face.

MRS FOX

why did you lie to me?

MR FOX

because im a wild animal.

MRS FOX

you are also a husband, and a father.

MR FOX

im trying to tell you the truth about myself.

MRS FOX

i dont care about the truth about yourself. this story is too predictable.

MR FOX

predictable? really? what happens in the end?

MRS FOX

in the end, we all die. unless you change.

mrs fox’s physical attack on her husbands face serves as a display of genuine animal ferocity, making mr fox’s claim to being a ‘wild animal’ appear as a flimsy excuse for his behaviour. his chicken theft, which he was insistent upon regardless of the consequences, was motivated not by animal instincts but a selfish desire to feel a particular version of his own masculinity. disregarding the safety of his family actually seems like a natural byproduct of his master plans because he is trying to reclaim his masculinity from a time before his family existed, and in his eyes, restricted him. the very recent loss of his tail, combined with this conversation with his wife, is a harsh reality check for mr fox in terms of the dangers of his masculinity.

the audience sees the outcome of this conversation later on, in the waterfall scene. here mr fox admits to his insecurities and suggests sacrificing himself to the farmers to save the local community.

MR FOX

darling, maybe they’ll let everyone else live!

…

MR FOX

foxes traditionally like to court danger, hunt prey and outsmart predators, and that’s what im actually good at…i guess at the end of the day im just-

MRS FOX

i know. we’re wild animals.

the difference between this admission to animalism and the one from his argument with felicity is that here, both parties gain some acceptance of their animalism without using it as an excuse for their behaviour. the inclusion of others in animalism – ‘we’re’ wild animals, rather than ‘i am’ a wild animal – contributes to illustrate how wildness is not specific to masculinity. it is not femininity vs masculinity but animals vs man.

the movie also questions the nature of an animal in the final key scene known as ‘canis lupus.’ wes Anderson referred to this scene as ‘the reason im making this movie.’ throughout the movie, mr fox alludes to his ‘phobia of wolves’ and shuts down any conversation surrounding them:

MR FOX

scared? no, i have a phobia of them!...a wolf? what’s with all the wolf talk? can we give it a rest for once?

arguably, these reactions are representative of mr fox’s aversion to competitive masculinity. he shuts down any opportunity for those around him to discuss something he sees as more masculine than himself in order to feel secure in his own masculinity. critic shana mlawski argues that ‘the wolf is described as the wildest, most frightening, and yet most beautiful creature in the world. mr fox fears the wolf and yet wants to be exactly like him. we can thus say that mr fox fears pure, wild masculinity yet also yearns to own it himself.’ the scene holds an eerie familiarity to it; mr fox is recognising something that he thought would be a reflection of himself, but the wild animal is no longer familiar to him anymore. he now accepts his role as a husband and a father and no longer fights to overtly express his animalism in the same way as the wolf. the most he can offer the wolf is raising his fist in solidarity. he calls out to the wolf, ‘i have a phobia of wolves!’, which is an interesting moment to admit this in. it’s his acceptance that allows him to admit this. the scene is entirely compromised of male characters: mr fox, kristofferson, ash, kylie and the wolf. mr fox’s admission to his fear allows him to be vulnerable in front of these people he cares about, and to use this as a teaching moment for the young boys.

MR FOX

what a beautiful creature. wish him luck out there, boys.

here mr fox openly admits his admiration for someone else’s masculinity in front of others without showing signs of his own insecurity. he can admire the wolf for what he is without seeing him as competition. the scene allows the audience to see and directly compare two forms of masculinity and animalism, and to understand that there is no one true expression of either of those traits. the wolf has connotations of violence and ferocity, whereas mr fox and his suit and display of multilingualism are entirely modern, but both are masculine animals who are valid in their own right. either way, both animals rely on violence for survival at times.

kupfer frames violence in three ways: symbolically, structurally and as a narrative essential. there are various forms of violence within this narrative, namely mr fox killing chickens and squabs, and the three farmers’ attack on the animal community. symbolically, mr fox’s chicken theft is attributed to his masculinity. while it is often presented as thought-out ‘master plans’, his desire to enact this violence in the first place supposedly stems from his ‘wild animal’ instincts. he associates a time where he felt secure in his masculinity with his actions at the time (violence). structurally, we see the potential for this violence in the opening scene, where mr fox takes his wife chicken-stealing and they become trapped. he is stuck in a fox trap with his wife when he receives the news of his impending fatherhood, a relatively obvious symbol for his view of fatherhood in general. the news of his wife’s pregnancy disrupts his ability to continue stealing chickens, not just on this specific occasion but through the coming years as well. mr fox appears to view family life as an unfulfilling, less raw expression of his masculinity, and is shown to be wholly dissatisfied with his life.

the violence on the farmers’ behalf is almost always in reaction to mr fox’s violence, already giving it a structural framing. boggis, bunch and bean are referred to early on in the film as the ‘meanest, nastiest and ugliest farmers on the side of the river.’ their violence against mr fox and subsequently the local animal community is an attempt to gain back power and status. mr fox’s actions are “humiliating’ and the local news coverage of this exchange between the farmers and animals raises the stakes as now the reputation of these farmers is on the line as well as their power. violence here serves as a narrative essential because it drives mr fox into a situation that forces him to confront his issues with masculinity and splitting between his animal and human traits, giving the text/movie a fulfilling arc. violence is

introduced as inherently masculine, but is decoupled from masculinity by the ending. mrs fox also plays a small but significant role in this; at various moments in the movie she exhibits her own displays of aggression equal in intensity to the men around her, suggesting to the audience that forms of violence should be categorised as human vs animal rather than male vs female. examples of this behaviour include her clawing at her husband’s face, and a parallel between her and a male human character wherein they both connect two wires and shout ‘contact!’, causing an explosion. while this moment is brief, it highlights a distinct difference between animals being violent and men. humans’ aggression is driven by the need for power, whereas that of animals is driven by the need for survival. the man paralleled with felicity only sparked the explosion to destroy mr fox’s home and assert the dominance of the three farmers, while mrs fox used the same form of violence to enact a plan to save her nephew’s life. petey’s song even alludes to this sentiment: ‘well he stole, and he cheated, and he lied just to survive.’

mr fox’s tail becomes a symbol of power; bean wears it as a necktie, and mr fox feels emasculated by his loss.

MR FOX

one of those slovenly farmers is probably wearing my tail as a necktie right now.

…

BADGER

i cant even imagine how painful, even just emotionally, that must be for you… oh but foxy how humiliating, having your tail blown clean off by-

MR FOX

can we drop it?

the use of the tail as a necktie is a symbol of the power that mr fox and the farmers end up jostling to achieve: at first it belongs to mr fox, then to the farmers, and is eventually reclaimed once more by the fox.

MR FOX

you shot off my tail.

[through gritted teeth] i’m not leaving here without that necktie.

when he reclaims his tail towards the end of the movie, it has been torn to shreds and needs ‘dry cleaning twice a week’ to maintain itself. this can be interpreted as a symbol for his evolved definitions of masculinity and power: his masculinity is no longer defined by impressing people or stealing or killing chickens, but in the quiet satisfaction of having a family. the final scene reveals that mrs fox is pregnant again, and instead of her glowing and her husband giving an awkward grin like in the opening scene, both of the spouses ‘glow.’ the structural framing of these pregnancy reveals bookending the events of the movie allows anderson to demonstrate mr fox’s growth and change in his priorities. the domestic life appears to be enough for him, and he no longer seems to find it emasculating,

what stands out as particularly modern about mr fox is how he unconsciously separates himself from both his wildness and his suburban self in his effort to combine them. he uses his ‘wildness’ as an excuse for his violence and selfishness, but is ultimately not willing to participate in truly wild forms of violence and selfishness, such has hunting. his chicken thefts always include infiltrating a human site, like boggis, bunce and bean’s farms, and the fun of it is in outsmarting them, rather than finding those animals himself out in the wild. the local animal community essentially functions as we would expect a rural village occupied by humans to function: everyone knows everyone, there is one local school and various small and quaint homes. while the setting reflects anderson’s signature style, it is also reflective of dahl’s framing of the community in the original text.

mr fox comes across as an individual who believes himself to be above the somewhat backward mentality of his village, that he is the most civilised and dazzling and original, and he exaggerates these traits in himself out of insecurity: ‘if they arent dazzled and blown away and kind of intimidated by me, then i dont feel good about myself.’this is also reflected in his consistent ‘trademark’, his whistle-and-click combination that he uses to set himself apart from other foxes. his home is also a reflection of this:

MRS FOX

you know, foxes live in holes for a reason.

MR FOX

[grunts and tilts head in disagreement]

yes and no.

this insecurity and desire for outsider approval and individuality is inherently human, a quality of his that cannot really be associated with his animalised parts. this precarious sense of identity and self doubt separates him from his ‘wildness’ as it stands, which is only intensified by the fact that he compensates by exaggerating his human traits in order to be liked and feel worthy, as those are the traits he believes have the most value. towards the end of mr fox’s character arc, he is forced to admit that his need for external validation is flawed and unsustainable. when the façade of carefully constructed grandeur is literally washed away by bean, he is left with nothing but his actions and their implications for those around him. foxy reconciles with the relative insignificance of an identity based on other’s perceptions of you when rat dies soon after, reacting to the suggestion that he redeemed himself last minute by revealing ash’s location:

MR FOX

redemption? sure. but in the end, he’s just another dead rat in a garbage pail behind a chinese restaurant.

this moment is also used to inadvertently allow the audience to evaluate the significance of motivation and intention to the value of an action. although rat did reveal useful information to aid the group in saving Kristofferson, mr fox recognises that he only did so because he realised he could not win this fight.

MR FOX

would you have told me if i didn’t kill you first?

RAT

never.

mr fox’s own motivations throughout the movie have devalued his actions as they have mostly been self-serving. as his motivations evolve to centre around his family, he gains the perspective to understand why one’s intentions are so important. while intention does not entirely dictate how good one’s actions are, they certainly characterise the person who’s action it is. your actions have value and consequences as they are, and that cannot be changed by dressing them up or animalising them to distance yourself.

in essence, fantastic mr fox is a lesson in the value of including those around you in your mentality and worldview. it paints masculinity as something that is inherent and complex in nature, but promotes the idea that it is not stuck with its traditional connotations of violence and egoism. mr fox’s emotional development throughout the text mostly centres around his own insecurities surrounding his masculinity and how that causes him to overcompensate in ways that harm those around him. by the end he recognises that more tame and domestic forms of masculinity are just as valid, and that basing his self-worth on how ‘dazzled’ his peers are by him is immature and not constructive. his family now liberates him and allows him to be vulnerable rather than restricting how he feels he can express himself, and as a unit the animals beat the farmers in their game of power-seeking. mr fox recognises and appreciates both his human and animal traits, without using them as a means to excuse his behaviour or to feel bad about his worth.

MR FOX

i guess my point is, we’ll eat tonight, and we’ll eat together. and even in this not particularly flattering light, you are without a doubt the five and a half most wonderful wild animals ive ever met in my life. so let’s raise our boxes – to our survival.

i.k.b

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alreadyblondenow · 4 years ago

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Sweet | Jung Jaehyun

❤︎ Jaehyun x female!reader ❤︎ Fluff? Smut, Smut, Smut, Smut, Tiny bit of angst, College AU, Established relationship ❤︎ 2/4 for LOVE MONTH SERIES: Boys Don’t Cry One is a big number | You and your words | Sweet | He loves me, he loves me not |

Summary: Jaehyun has always been in love with you but he thinks so highly of you that he never tried pursuing his feelings for you. All throughout your college years, Jaehyun endured every heartbreak secretly whenever you have a new boyfriend and can only love you secretly in his own ways. Wild. College years was wild and its all because of Jaehyun. After college, you and Jaehyun parted ways but life will reunite you again in the most shocking way. Jaehyun’s wedding.

Word count: 13,707k

Warnings: Sex, sex, sex, and loads of sex, unprotected sex, loss of virginity, making of sex tape (with consent), making of amateur porn? (with consent), cam boys and cam girl?? idk what to call that but they fuck live, mentions of alcohol, period fingering, mentions of tampon, dry humping, oral sex female receiving, mentions of blowjob, slight blowjob scene, mentions of other idols, swearing, college students who just wanna have fun haha, kissing and touching, fingering, and slight nipple play, mentions of having sex with Johnny. AH SLIGHT BREAK UP SEX!

A/N: PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. okay, I know I said that this will be out on Jaehyun’s birthday but meh whatever I’m posting it and will post something else for hearts day. hehe. I hope you guys love this even though im just experimenting and trying to write longer fics, and seriously I wanted to write back to back smut with different feels so I guess im crossing that out of my bucket list. Also this is proof read once only so sorry. You may not be happy with the ending but I’m sure as hell happy with it so sorry.

Humans are prone to fall in love with the wrong people and the only thing you can do about it is to forgive yourself and move on. No matter how much history you had, no matter how many special moments or intimate ones you shared… if you know that he or she is not the right person for you then, you know.

Like this moment right now. For exactly ten minutes, you will realize why you and a certain someone never worked out.

“Hey, boss you have a 10 am meeting. Planning for everything” Your assistant says as you double-check your schedule to see the name of the client she’s talking about. “That’s the bride though, 0% progress for the wedding” she added.

“Yikes” you murmur and ready your stuff, “let’s fix that and give her a beautiful wedding. I need you to take down everything she says while I talk to her” you straighten your clothes and fix yourself before you face the client.

The moment you enter the room, the bride greets you with a big smile like she’s saying ‘thank you for saving me and my wedding’ even though you literally haven't done anything yet. Oh, you love seeing those hopeful eyes in every bride. “I’m just waiting for my fiancé, he’s the one who recommends coming here and I have a great feeling that I will have a beautiful wedding because of you”

“And my team,” you added and finished her sentence, “I want to introduce you to my assistant, she will be taking care of every request you say during our discussion later”

“And I want to introduce you to my fiancé, Jaehyun,” she said with a big smile and walked towards his fiancé.

And just like that your ordinary day at the office became extraordinary. Because nothing is normal about Jung Jaehyun, nothing is normal about those dimpled smile that automatically makes your heart skip a beat.

“Baby, this is the wedding organizer” her smile has no hint of mock, she’s not even proud that she has a very handsome fiancé and obviously she doesn’t know who you are. She’s just happy that she’s marrying Jaehyun. That’s all. And in those eyes, you see that Jaehyun is in the right hands.

“Mhmm. Me, Johnny, and Ms. Y/n right here are dorm mates. So you’re talking to the best wedding organizer,” you snorted at what Jaehyun said.

“Thank you for that introduction Jung, now let’s talk about your wedding”

And so, you worked your magic to them the whole morning. Explaining things, showing stuff, asking them what they want. From the wedding reception, wedding dress appointments, and picking of cakes… she has no idea of what she wants. Good thing you do know what you’re doing and you planned everything smoothly after a few hours. And for hours and hours, you watched them smile at each other, lowkey flirted in front of you but you didn’t feel any jealousy, hurt, or regret.

When the exhausting meeting was finally done and finally you’re alone at your office, a soft knock brought you back to reality and a familiar voice was behind it. “Can I come in?” Jaehyun asks.

“Of course, it’s open” you watch him enter your office like he’s some kind of a ghost and made the room cold in an instant.

“I just want to say thank you for helping us out- thank goodness the world is small… Literally, the wedding will be a mess”

“Just doing my job Jae,” you smiled sweetly to him, “your fiancé is lovely-“

“I did love you Y/n. And I’m sorry for hurting you like that, I told you, you deserve better. I’m glad we both found our happiness” he flashed that dimpled smile again and thanked you one last time.

The little reunion ended with small smiles, nods here and there, and in just a few seconds Jaehyun is out from your office and quickly replaced by your assistant to give you your afternoon coffee. Awkward and curious, she placed the coffee in front of you. Obviously, she wanted to know your past with the groom. And when she finally dropped the question, you remembered everything, moments crashing and drowning you right this instance.

Eight years ago

“Are you even trying, you’re no fun!”

Your best friend shouts at you from the other side of the table, waiting for you to throw the ball, waiting for you to miss. It was just beer pong but you don’t know why the game was so fucking frustrating and no matter how hard you concentrate you can’t score. Maybe it’s because you’re all alone and you’re competing against your best friend and her boyfriend. Fuck that you thought, you don’t need a man.

“Fuck” you murmur and miss again. You watch your best friend’s boyfriend score another one and of course, you have to drink again. But just when you’re about to get the ball from drink, a stranger’s hand was quick to get the cup, remove the ball and drink the alcohol.

“Mind if I join and help you win?” He flashed you a dimpled smile that immediately made you smile back at him. You take back what you said earlier, maybe you do need someone.

“Come on! Let him in, maybe he’s a better competition” your best friend shouts once again. Oh, you’re very happy that you’re not going to the same college.

As you welcome the handsome stranger and gave him the honor of throwing the ball, you warned him first that your opponents can be very annoying but he doesn't seem to care and just let out a small laugh. Cocky you thought, but confidence looks sexy on him.

And finally. Fucking finally, your best friend had a taste of her own medicine.

“I’m Jaehyun by the way,” he was lowkey flirting with you and you’re not stupid to not notice. “Here, I’ll teach you how to throw” he put the ball in your palm and stood behind you, hands on your waist to keep you steady, arms raised together, and you swear his lips were so near at your nape that you got shivers whenever he talks. “let the ball bounce near a cup and it will land on one” he added. But how can you score if he’s making it hard for you? You did it anyways, threw the ball near a cup and he was right. It landed on the cup you wish to aim and finally, you’re starting to have fun.

The game went on and you and Jaehyun flirted, talked, and exchange deep glances the entire game but winning it at the same time. His one hand is always around your waist even if it's not necessary whenever he’s the one throwing the ball, and whenever the other team scores, he’s the one drinking the alcoholic beverage for you.

At the end of the game, you and Jaehyun won the golden prize which is very awkward when he showed it to you.

“All that frustration and competition for a condom?” you can’t believe that the prize is a single condom.

“We don’t have to use it, it can just be our trophy you know” he let out a small laugh and put the condom in his pocket, and changed the subject.

As the night went deeper, you and Jaehyun had your own little world in that corner at the kitchen with a beer in your hand while you talk about your interest from music to movies. It was pretty crowded but no one seems to care especially Jaehyun because he loves how incredibly close he is to you right now. Until a drunk person bumped Jaehyun and he accidentally spilled his beer on your blouse. Seems like the universe is making a way for you two to eventually hook up and use the condom.

“Shit-shit!” Jaehyun was panicking at the moment and he doesn’t know what to do other than remove his hoodie and cover you with it before anyone sees your see-through blouse and took you somewhere less crowded to help you clean up the mess he put you through.

In a stranger's room upstairs, he locked the door to let you change while he looks for something to dry your clothes with. Luckily, he saw a hairdryer and quickly plugged it in beside the bed and started drying your shirt.

You were conscious for some time, clinging to a stranger's blanket with nothing but your pants underneath it. You watch Jaehyun dry your bra, checking it from time to time if it's ready to go. And when it's finally dry, he hands it to you with an awkward smile but still managed to make your heart beat fast. “I’m really sorry,” he started, a quickly avoided his gaze from you again as you turn your back from him, put down the blanket, and wear your bra like there's no one with you.

“It was an accident, don’t beat yourself up,” you said, there’s no way he’s going to let this go you’re sure of it, so with all your bravery, you came closer to him while he's busy drying your blouse and kissed him on the cheek. “You've been saving me the whole night. You saved me from boredom and from losing and now, you're drying my clothes. So sweet of you,” you added and looked at him sweetly, resting your forehead on his and making the moment even more intense by putting down the blanket in front of him. Allowing him to see you with only wearing your bra and pants, inviting him to make this moment unforgettable for the two of you.

Of course, he's not stupid and did exactly what you had in mind. In one swift moved his lips are on your lips, hands on your shoulders to put your bra straps down, and you unclasped your bra and threw it on the floor before you started to kiss him more intensely.

Jaehyun kissed you exactly how you wanted to be kissed, with want and with lust. His breath and the sound of wet kisses sounded perfect as it surrounds the room. You felt him bite your neck then feel him smile against your skin when his intentions of turning you on even more is working.

Kisses became deeper, playful, and wet when he started to go down to your chest and started kissing the valley between your boobs. His big hands knead your right boob, while his left hand is placed on your waist. Oh when his tongue brushed on your nipple for the first time, you rolled your head back and arched your back as if you wanted him to do more and play more with your boobs.

And just like that the cold night became warm and you feel it getting warmer and warmer by every second and it’s all because of Jaehyun.

He flashed a dimpled smile at you when he saw that you're more than liking what he's doing to you and stopped to open the lampshade. The room was immediately softly illuminated which you thought is romantic even though everything that’s happening right now is totally unplanned.

"Your boobs have spit all over, wait let me get that for you" you were just about to tell him that it's fine but he was quick to remove his shirt and reveal his godlike body right before your eyes. “If you just want to kiss and touch the whole night, I’m fine with that but I am very horny right now that I got you covered with spit,” he said while wiping his spit from your boobs and chest using his shirt.

If you’re perfectly honest, you’re nervous about what can happen in the next few minutes. But there’s no way in hell that you’re going to let this pass, it’s not every day a handsome man is eager to fuck you. You just have to suck it up, not tell him that you’re a virgin, perform and look like you know what you’re doing. "No, it's fine I'm horny too" and you proved it by kissing him again, cupping his face with both of your hands, and with all your strength you roll on top of him. "Wait here," you said as you push him back on the mattress when he tried to get a hold of you.

You went down from the bed to remove your pants and underwear, he did the same as quickly as he can and you think he's cute for being excited to fuck. You crawled in between his legs, sat nicely on top of him but the impatient guy sat up and met your lips again. One hand supporting his weight, one hand on your waist. "You're so fucking beautiful I'm having a hard time to breath for the last few minutes" he whispers so sexily while kissing your jaw, leaving his mark to remind you the next day about tonight.

For a minute, you felt shy because you've never been naked with someone in bed. But the way Jaehyun kisses you makes you trust him, the way he touches your body with care make you want him more. And again, those fucking lips just made you roll your hips against his hardening cock and it made you both moaned so good that he asked you to do it again. And so you did.

Letting his cock slide in between your folds is a new feeling for you. Not even grinding on your vibrator will give you such an amazing feeling. Grinding on Jaehyun's cock while his mouth plays with your boobs felt fucking good that your grip on his locks tightens but he doesn't care. But for someone untouched like you, you made sure you never forget the feeling whenever his tongue swirls while you roll your hips, how he bites your nipples whenever he feels you're slowing down, and the vibrations that share with you whenever he grunts a little too loud and you feel it all over your body.

Soon Jaehyun switched places with you, putting you underneath him to catch his breath and stop himself from cumming. He reached for your hand and hold it dearly, kissing your knuckles and the back of your hand. “Forgive me if I become rough tonight, I can promise an aftercare don’t worry,” he says and gave you one last kiss before he pulls away and gets the condom from the pocket of his discarded pants. Putting the protection in front of you to assure you, thank goodness to that condom you thought.

As soon as he crawls back in between your legs again, his hand moved around your body like he’s telling you he owns you, smiling in between kisses whenever he accidentally tickles you. Hands slipping in between your thighs and fingers brushed automatically on your very wet slit. You jolt because of the new feeling but careful not to show Jaehyun that this is your first time being finger fucked. So you closed your eyes to avoid his gaze but Jaehyun gave your ass a tight squeeze and put his thumb on your wet slit, admiring how wet he made you already which made you open your eyes again and moan his name deliciously.

“I like the sound of that,” he says, kissing your neck and down Jaehyun goes, kissing your body until he reaches your pussy to give you few licks before he fucks you.

The way he licked your wet folds made your toes curl and your legs spread even wider. Pushing his head away, crushing his head with your legs then spreading it wide again, and begged him but you’re not sure what for.

“Jae- you eat pussy like a pro” or maybe you’re just telling that because it’s your first time being eaten out. That even the way he puts the right amount of force to stop your legs from closing whenever he flicks his tongue is perfect. And when he saw you relaxing and can handle the pleasure already, his hands cupped both of your boobs and pinched your nipples, making you moan his name loudly “Jae!-“ and arch your back as a sign that you’re almost there, and if he doesn’t stop soon you might cum now.

But of course, Jaehyun didn’t stop and made you cum using his tongue for the first time tonight. Your legs felt like jelly and you can even feel that your pussy is still sensitive. “Thought it’s going to be just a few licks?” you said weakly, wiping your pussy juices from his chin and planting a soft kiss on his lips as a thank you, but he doesn’t know that.

“Changed my mind, you taste good. I might even go for another round-“

And right before he goes down on you again, you stopped him and told him you’re still sensitive. Which thankfully he listened and kissed you instead of licking you. And when you’re finally good to go again, he holds you by your ankles, kiss your neck and touch your body for a few seconds before he finally lines his cock on your very wet slit. Sliding it up and down, teasing you and making you horny and even more aroused.

When he finally pushed his cock in your hole, Jaehyun thought his dick will slide in smoothly because, one, he thought you’re not a virgin anymore and two, you’re dripping on the sheets but still he’s having a hard time pushing in. Then he saw your face, contorting like you’re in pain rather than seeing you furrow your brows, part your lips, and make beautiful sounds.

For you, it fucking hurts and you would rather suck it up than tell him you’re still a virgin and ruin the mood. But the man on top of you is not stupid and surprisingly he pulled out slowly and came closer to your body once again to face you, “I’m about to be your first time, am I right? You’re so tight and I’ve never encountered a hole like that ever since my first fuck”

Busted you thought. You thought of any more ways to get out of this situation but he looks like he’s okay with it. “Are you mad?” you asked shyly and avoiding his stare.

“No” he admitted, “Actually I’m turned on. But I’ll go slow and sorry if I hurt you at first. Want to try again?”

You nod oh eagerly to his question and finally, you can breathe and enjoy the moment. He gave you a few kisses before he continues and went back to lining his cock, he made you wrap your arms around his neck and asked you to spread your legs even wider. And when he pushed in again, there’s that good stretch you’ve been hearing so much about. The feeling of Jaehyun’s cock go slowly inside you was incredibly good even though he’s not fucking you raw right now.

“The condom is thin-“ he grunts and moaned a few times, “you’re so tight. And fuck you look hot. Does it feel good now?” he whispers and started to roll his hips once which made you both moan and let out sharp gasps.

He fucks you slow and deep until the sting from the stretch is replaced by pleasure. You rake his body with your nails, holding him on his nape, and grab a fistful of hair whenever he tries to give you a powerful thrust which you loved so you asked for more.

He sat on his knees and pull away from your body then immediately gave you a hard thrust, watching your boobs bounce with lidded eyes, kneading them whenever he wants to. In a matter of few minutes, his thrust became animalistic that your head is dangling on the edge of the bed, moaning and gasping sharply but the man above you kept on fucking you hard, savoring the condom and trying not to cum so soon. So whenever he’s on edge, he pulls out immediately and spreads kisses around your body, sucking your boobs until your nipples are swollen, playing with your slit until you’re cumming for the third time tonight using his fingers.

“Not yet, I want more time with you,” he says while kissing your neck and reaching for your hand to intertwine it with his.

“Jaehyun, I can’t take it anymore. Please cum already” you begged with ragged breaths.

“Fine, fine. Since you asked nicely, but promise me to give me your number after we fuck”

“I will if you make me cum using your dick” he was amused by your answer and effortlessly flipped you on your stomach and asked you to put your ass in the air. He kissed your shoulders first, making you feel safe before the grand finale. Hands on your ass while he slowly thrust in again and fuck, he does make your knees weak.

“You were just a virgin a few minutes ago, but now you’re begging huh, okay” he says before he gave you a hard thrust that made you land flat on your stomach but he was quick to lift your hips again and give you another hard thrust.

Thrust after thrust you feel the impact in your body and for sure your body will be sore the next day. You call his name over and over again but you’re not sure what you’re begging for because he is fucking you good. Hard but good. And when finally Jaehyun is on edge for the nth time tonight, he did not pull out and kept fucking you but this time he doubled his pace that you can only hear skin slapping and his beautiful moans.

“Fuck Jaehyun- I’m cumming again, don’t you dare fucking stop” you grip the sheets and arch your back more, taking every thrust Jaehyun gives you and shut your eyes close as you let go and cum for the fourth time tonight.

Thrust

He gave you three powerful thrusts before you both flop on the mattress and catch your breath together. Your bodies were warm and sweaty, the room smelled like sex but no one cares. You feel bad to the owner of this bed.

While you catch your breath and calm yourself down, Jaehyun busies himself with discarding the condom and looking for something to cover your exposed body before he makes a wrong decision like asking you for round two.

“Thanks” you said weakly when he covered you with the blanket.

“I hope you’re okay with me being your first” he says and lies beside you again, keeping you close to him.

“I’m more than okay with it” you kissed him on the lips like you’re keeping a souvenir, “I hate to ruin this moment that we shared but, we have to go back to the party” you watch him shook his head no and pretended to be asleep, “Mhmm. Come on, I’ll help you get dressed” you added.

To be perfectly honest Jaehyun wanted to stay with you for a few more minutes, he wanted to know more about you, he wanted to hold your hand just a little bit longer. “Stay with me” he asks of you, but you refused with a heavy heart. You exchanged cellphone numbers of course, but when you two got back to the party, hand in hand and back to flirting with each other, your friends are quick to get a hold of you. and the next thing you know you’re inside your friend’s car, on your way home and you couldn’t stop thinking about him.

On the next day, you woke up very sore and you couldn’t walk properly but the thought of what happened last night just makes you smile and all giggly. You waited for his text the whole day, checking your phone from time to time and hoping that whenever it beeps, Jaehyun’s name is on the screen but no.

You thought that waiting for him for a day is normal, maybe he got hungover and slept the whole day. But after a few days later, still you got no texts from him and that part is not normal anymore. You started to think that you’re just a one-time thing for him and you feel stupid for even thinking that Jaehyun can and eventually pursue you.

Everything that happened that night, should be forgotten and you should enjoy the remaining months of your summer before you finally move in to your college dorm. On top of that, you deleted his number and tried to forget the man who made you feel good in bed for the first time.

Now that you’re weeks away from officially being a college student, you decided to settle in your college dorm as early as now so you can have more time to know your dorm mates. Little did you know, that the world is incredibly small and you will end up being dorm mates with Jaehyun alongside his best friend Johnny who welcomed you with a big bear hug like you’ve known each other for years.

It’s not that you weren’t happy to see him when he opened the door for you, it’s just that... it was such an awkward moment because you’ve seen each other naked and... he didn’t call you back. Nonetheless, you pretended to know each other for the first time today, shake his hand and give him a hug. Which you didn’t want to end so soon.

“Hey, uhm… glad to see you settle in” he started and closed your door so Johnny would not hear whatever conversation you’re about to have.

“Yeah, thank you for welcoming me warmly. Johnny is sweet by the way” you said awkwardly while folding your clothes and putting them in your cabinet.

“Uh, about that. Uhm, can you uh-“

“Not tell him that something happened between us?” he nods slowly at what you said, “sure” you wanted to scoff so bad and throw a fit at him, but you didn’t want to ruin your move in day and just shrugged it off.

Starting that day, you tried your best not to be awkward with Jaehyun and really try your best to forget about the sex. The sex that felt good, the sex that can make your toes curl by just merely thinking about it. Although you had a hard time because whenever you touch yourself at night, you remember everything that happened between you two and you end up fantasizing about fucking Jaehyun again. But now that you’re living with him and you see him every day, it's not just about the sex now.

During the summer you were convinced that Jaehyun is a guy who had sex with you and left you hanging. But seeing him every day and knowing him even more by living together, the truth about Jaehyun slapped you so hard that you even liked him even more now. He is a warm person, whose heart is full of care and compassion, or maybe even more than that.

Eventually, you did forget about the sex and your little crush on Jaehyun. Thank goodness, you thought. You couldn’t have done it without a few hookups during your freshman year. And when everything is all nice and pleasant again between you and Jaehyun, you became good friends and started to look after each other.

You were like family in that small dorm during your starting years together. The two giant knows how to cook so a good meal is never a problem, you have study sessions whenever it’s needed and whenever someone is going through something, you were there for each other.

It was great and comforting because you do everything together. But not until Jaehyun realized that he’s not immune to your charms anymore and now he’s falling for you. Hard.

Over the years of living together, Jaehyun saw your true colors. Now he knows you’re more than just a hookup. You were a gem that he found in a stranger’s party and he was such a fool for not calling you back during the summer. It’s true what they say that regrets are always at the end. Now he can only admire you and love you in ways where he can’t ruin this amazing friendship that you have.

Jaehyun endured every heartbreak whenever he sees you with another man or hearing you moan from the other side of the room whenever you and your boyfriend have sex. And when that jerk broke your heart, his broke two times than yours because he can’t do anything to ease your pain, make you realize your true worth and help you move on.

“You don’t need that guy,” Jaehyun says as he pulls you for a hug while Johnny massages your toes. The two giants were a good support system, not to mention they really want to beat your ex’s butt but you told them ‘thanks but, no don’t do that’. And while you’re crying in Jaehyun’s arms, staining his hoodie with your tears, he promised to himself that he will never hurt you or make you cry.

Now that he’s frustrated and mad at himself because he can’t help you, he decided to help himself instead. He watched on the sides and used different girls to make him forget about you, which is hardly impossible by now because even the little things you do make him crazy. Like whenever you ask him to eat dinner with you when Johnny is out for work, or whenever you take care of him when he goes home batshit drunk and can’t even stand up straight.

For Jaehyun, his college years were all about yearning. Yearning for you, your attention, your touch, and your love. But even though you’re now single and have already moved on from your ex, he still can’t confess his feelings for you because he believes that you deserve someone better than him. Jaehyun knew he hurt you already, and he will not forgive himself if he does it again.

Senior year

In a middle of a busy cafeteria, you, Johnny, and Jaehyun are thinking of ways how to earn money for your dorm rent. This semester made you guys bring out a lot of cash because of books and some of your rent money was needed to sacrifice for education. But now that you guys are a month late with your rent, you have no idea where to get cash knowing all too well that your parents won’t chip in.

“I could sell some of my clothes” Jaehyun suggested while drinking his coffee.

“Dude your clothes are all black, no one would ever buy those” Johnny bites back just to annoy his friend. “Though girls will buy it because it’s from you-“

“Stop it with your nonsense John”

“Or! You can sell some of your nudes, I already know a lot of buyers” Johnny added with an annoying smile.

“Or you two can just fuck each other because you’re the hottest guys on campus but your asses are broke” you tease them further but you have no idea that you just gave out the solution to all your problems. “What?” you asked them as they both smile at you, shy for no reason, and eyeing each other like they’re having a secret conversation using their eyes.

Johnny clears his throat before he starts, “You just suggested to make porn… and porn is good money. A few students do it these days” he clears his throat again before he continues, “We know because we watch porn-“

“Okay, I don’t need to know that part. What are you saying? Are you suggesting we make porn?” you said, eyes big as you look at them.

“You suggested it. Not us. But yeah. It’s good money Y/n” Johnny once again explained.

“Well, okay. I’ll hold the camera while you two fuck. How do we do this?” you avoid their eyes as your body heats the more you talk.

“Nuh-uh, I’m not fucking Johnny” Jaehyun announces.

“Nope. Me too I’m not fucking Jaehyun, you choose Y/n. No hard feelings, but consider the size” he winks but you know that he’s just joking.

Good thing the awkward conversation was cut when your alarm went off and you have to go to your next class. You gather your stuff and told them to think of better ways to earn money because there’s no way you’re having sex with any of them. Especially not with Jaehyun.

The idea of making money through porn crosses your mind every five minutes and you can’t concentrate with your class. Plus, your landlord kept on sending messages reminding you that in three days, you’re going to be two months late with the rent. But still, whenever you imagine having sex with any of them, it gives you great goosebumps and you can’t handle the awkwardness anymore.

After your class, you were spacing out and still weighing things over regarding the porn making, and unexpectedly, one of your friends brought up ‘amateur porn’ and you’ve never been so nervous in your life. She was talking about how she and her boyfriend went live for a good twenty minutes and they made loads of cash, “and guess what, it’s all for fun! We were really just fooling around but apparently, people do love those kinds of stuff and they pay good money”

Your mouth almost fell when she mentioned the cash they earned for only twenty minutes. And in that twenty minutes, you can cover one month's rent pay already. You just have to cum in front of thousands of people. So with a mind blinded by the possibility of earning too much cash, you said yes to the idea of making porn. The only question is, with whom?

Johnny and Jaehyun stood in front of you as they wait for your answer after telling them what your friend told you about making porn. Of course you picked Jaehyun. Not because you miss him, and not because you have history, but because you don’t want to be awkward with Johnny. While Jaehyun on the other hand is feeling proud and hopeful behind that poker face of his, he thought that you chose him because you already know what’s in store for you if you fuck with him again and of course he thought that maybe you miss him.

“Johnny doesn’t really need to hold the camera for us right? We can just place it, and secure it somewhere” you added and watch Jaehyun agree without looking at you.

“You two have the place tomorrow night then. M-make sure you raise the quota and cover three months of payment... for safety” Johnny says to Jaehyun and you with a smile that says, ‘thank goodness I didn’t have to watch you both fuck’.

Before you sleep tonight, unexpectedly Jaehyun paid you a visit. And there’s that nervous feeling again, you feel like you’re back in your freshman days when you don’t know what to do whenever you see Jaehyun and you just have to pretend that nothing is bothering you.

Breathing in and out, you opened the door quickly and went back to your bed and under the covers to cover your exposed legs. Little did you know that Jaehyun already saw that you’re not wearing anything besides your lacy panties and an oversized shirt.

“Your ears are red,” you teased him.

“Well next time you should wear pajamas instead of your underwear to sleep” he winked and placed the mask that you’re going to be using tomorrow and sat on the edge of your bed.

“What are you? A stranger? You’re so far, come here” you invited him under your sheets and lie in bed face to face like nothings bothering you two. You put your hand above his head and feel his soft locks, careful not to grip so hard and hurt the man you used to have feelings for.

This is why Jaehyun can’t move on from you. You always make him feel like he’s your favorite person in the world.

“Are you going to leave me hanging again after we have sex tomorrow?” You confronted him.

“That’s impossible now, we live together” he giggles and catches your hand so he could hold it.

“Just promise me after the sex tomorrow we’ll still be friends” you felt his grip loosen up like he became hopeless like he didn’t like what you just said.

“I was actually going to say that I want us to try again. Get things right this time”

And in that very moment, your world stopped and your body feels hot, suddenly you’re sweating and your heart is beating faster. To be honest you don’t know what to say.

Then,

“Kidding. I’m kidding. Just making you laugh before you sleep, and y-yeah. I promise nothing will change between us, cross my heart” he got up from your bed, turned off the lights and turned on your lampshade. “Sleep well okay?”

And just like that, he left again. You don’t know if you were relieved that it was only a joke or your heart broke because deep inside, you’re waiting for him to tell you that ever since Freshman year. Nonetheless, you do what you do best. Sleep it off and pretend nothing happened.

On the next day, you were at the kitchen preparing breakfast and spacing out while you flip pancakes. Most of them got burnt and you blame Jaehyun for that.

“I told you to sleep, didn’t I?”

There he goes again, startling you and flashing a very handsome smile at you like you’re not about to do something stupid later. “Johnny went to work early and took an overtime tonight just so you won’t get shy” he hands you a glass of water, figured you might need one because you looked so tensed.

“We can always text him when we're done” you added, he nods. And there’s the awkward silence again.

You finish your breakfast in one go, not even looking at Jaehyun. Usually, during breakfast, you talk mostly about your plans within the day but given the situation right now, obviously, you don’t want to know his plans because that includes you. Good thing the day went on normally. You cleaned the living room, he cleaned the kitchen, you cleaned your room, he cleaned his. You saw him changing his bedsheets and you think that’s a sweet gesture, you wanted to tease him but that won’t help you with your nervousness so you just smiled at him when he caught you looking.

When it’s finally afternoon and you’re going to fuck live in a few minutes, you were surprised at what he did to his room just so you won’t get nervous anymore. The golden ray of afternoon light was perfect and helped you calm in no time, Jaehyun lit some scented candles and lowered the thermostat of his air conditioning so you won’t get cold.

“Thought I should make this special- not that I’m saying our first wasn’t “ he rambles and scratches his head, ears turning red and now you can see that he’s nervous too. “But come on, I want to do right for you” he caresses your shoulders and nods his head as a signal that you two needed to start.

The mood was nothing like your first, there was no sexual tension or any sign of desire to fuck each other. In other words, he looked like he’s just doing this for the dorm rent and you are too. That’s why maybe stripping in front of Jaehyun while your back is against him was easier than you thought. But you didn’t know that the man was craving for you. He wanted to be the one removing your clothes while his lips roam on your neck, make you feel good and wanted just before the live starts. He wanted to do that.

“Remember your promise okay?” You put on your mask and Jaehyun did too. He was still fully clothed and while you’re lying in his bed comfortably, watching him strip in front of you but not for you. The camera is right above your head so the viewers can imagine that they are the ones having sex with Jaehyun. If that won't give you a lot of money then you don’t know what will.

Jaehyun was a natural, you wanted to tell him that he does look like a pornstar but you’re not allowed to talk. When he finally crawled on the bed, straight between your legs and spread them according to his want, a shiver went straight to your spine and immediately made you wet. He shamelessly kissed your inner thighs first and went all the way up until he reaches your lips.

Finally. You both thought.

But his kisses were different and you wonder why. You feel like you’re not kissing Jaehyun because you know how his kiss can affect you, although his touch was still the same. He can still make you jolt and part your lips with just using his fingers and a few teasing here and there. And when he finally put his cock inside you, that’s the part where you finally believe that Jaehyun is indeed the one in bed with you right now. You will never forget how that cock feels inside you, “I miss you” he whispered very softly, hoping that the viewers did not hear it.

Time flies so fast that the live will end in ten minutes now and Jaehyun has been fucking you deep and slow like he’s savoring the feeling again. When you heard him grunt and moan, that made your toes curl and clench accidentally around him. Making him groan a little louder and fuck you a bit faster. You moaned so loud just so he knows you’re very much close to your high, and in just a few minutes you both cum together and the next thing you know he’s pulling out and letting his cum land on top of your pussy lips for the viewer’s pleasure.

Fuck you wish he didn’t pull out.

He grabbed his phone from above you and turned the damn timer off because you may not know, but the timer was screaming at him that his time with you is over. You removed your mask and he removed his too. And there you saw tears in his eyes, or maybe those are sweat? Nonetheless, you asked him what’s wrong and made him look at you. But instead of answering your question, he kissed you. Hands on both sides and cupping your face as he kisses you deeper.

And there’s that kiss you’ve been waiting for. The kiss that you’ve been wanting to experience again for years and years. You shouldn’t be happy, but you’re actually genuinely happy that your rent pay is late and you get to do this again with Jaehyun.

“I missed you too” finally you said it.

He smiled so sweetly to you and went back to the kiss, spreading your legs again, checking your slit if you’re still wet. And without further ado, he thrust in. Slowly again, but this time he’s proving a point. Like he’s telling you something. And now that you can see his face, you can’t help but feel excited and the butterflies in your stomach are very much excited too that you were smiling in between kisses.

“Ride me” he says, and effortlessly he trades places with you. Holding you on your back, lips still locked like you’re not planning to stop any time soon. And for your own pleasure, you guided his hands and made him knead your boobs. He did more than kneading, Jaehyun sucked your nipples and pinched them to hear you moan.

“A lot has changed Jae” you said, pushing him down to the mattress and intertwined your fingers with his, kissed them and placed them on your hips. You started rolling your hips without a warning, making the man underneath you close his eyes and part his lips. There are many things you wanted to do with him now that you had the privilege to ride him, but you decided to go hard because this might be the last time you’re going to fuck Jaehyun again.

You ride him like you didn’t have sex for years. Skin slapping from rolling your hips faster than he expected, letting your boobs bounce in front of him and letting him touch them whenever he wants to. “It’s hard to pull out when you’re on top, want to switch places?” He was struggling to talk, obviously he’s trying so hard not to cum yet but you’re good at what you’re doing.

“Not tonight” and that promise just made Jaehyun moan deliciously like he’s excited to cum now just so he can experience cumming inside you.

“Y-yeah. That’s right Y/n fuck me. Oh you fuck me so good! Shit- why did I ever let you go. Fuck”

The thing is, you love seeing him all fucked up and love hearing him praise the way you fuck him... but he chose the wrong words. And those words went straight to your heart. The words ‘Why did I ever let you go?’ repeated over and over again while you ride so fast that you’re overstimulating him already. He was begging for you to stop but it was too late when you heard him.

When you finally stopped, you see his cum dripping from your pussy even though you’re not yet removing his cock from you. You catch your breath for a second and came closer to Jaehyun. Good thing he has enough strength to hug you and roll you to the mattress so he could have the honor to pull his cock out.

“You’re right a lot has changed,” he says because his silly crush on you grew and grew and now he’s completely in love with you. “Let’s not shower together, I’m afraid I’ll lure you to have shower sex with me”

“And what’s so wrong about that” you bite back.

“Oh so you’re confident now huh,” he kissed you once again, and shit you never want him to leave your lips.

But every good thing comes to an end. You went back to your room and showered separately, as planned and when you went to the living room, he was all cleaned up and looking so fresh. He was wearing his glasses, hair almost covering his eyes, he looked cozy in his oversized shirt and his favorite plaid pajamas. “Come here,” He pats the seat next to him, signaling you to come watch Netflix with him. Surprisingly, his arms wrapped around you and kept you close to him, subtly smelling your shampoo. He giggled at the thought of imagining you taking a shower while smiling because the sex was fucking awesome.

He played a movie and watched it with you just so he can still keep you close to him. Not even halfway through the movie, he caught you sleeping soundly on his lap and slowly covered your exposed legs with the blanket on the couch. He pats and pats your head until his attention was no longer in the movie that he’s watching but his mind lingers to what happened earlier and eventually fell asleep beside you too.

It was very late when Johnny went home and caught you two all snuggled up on the couch, snoring and slept through to what you were watching. He had a hunch that you two had a great time, smiled and turned off the TV, and wished you both a good night's sleep.

“I have bad news” Johnny announces as you and Jaehyun wake up together on the couch, all smiles and in an incredibly good mood but Johnny was quick to ruin that. “The money you earned from yesterday’s live was not enough”

You don’t know why Jaehyun was still smiling at you even though what Johnny just told you completely ruined your day already. “That’s not bad news, right?” He whispers to you and gave you a look. “I’m okay with doing it again until we cover everything” Jaehyun says to Johnny while you three sit in front of each other, drinking your coffees.

“I’ll work double shifts at the radio station- are you fine with doing it again Y/n?” Johnny asks, and for a second there you feel like you’re in the hot seat.

“Y-yeah. I’m okay with it” you scratch your nape and awkwardly sip your coffee, “it’s easy money, I think if we do more lives we can cover three months pay”

“More lives it is. Don’t worry John, I’ll take other slots at the radio station too for groceries and stuff” Jaehyun added.

The live fucking continues and so is fooling around with Jaehyun, having better sex every after going live and whenever Johnny is not around. It’s like playing with fire, but you don’t exactly know if what you’re doing is wrong or right because you’re both single, so why are you guys hiding? You don’t get it, but you just go with the flow, enjoy what’s happening and hope for the best.

Every sex you have grown more and more intense to the point that your beds are moving and that gives you better reviews in live fucking. Not to mention the money is better now and you’re saving up faster than expected. But whenever the camera is off and you’re having sex without an audience, you guys fuck like you’re together and you love each other.

Sweet love bites here and there, sincere praises and longer kisses. For Jaehyun he feels like he’s having a dream because he gets to do the things he wanted to do with you. Remove your clothes while kissing you, whisper the things he has been holding back to say for years, and make you feel loved and important.

And just like the sex, your cuddling session became even warmer and sweeter. Cuddling after you take a shower has always been your thing, he visits you in your room with damped hair and you help him dry his hair, Netflix and chill, or order in and have a great meal together.

Days went by and you’re getting used to this sweet Jaehyun and you well know that’s dangerous. But you love every dangerous thing about Jaehyun. The following days grew extremely sweet and intimate. You sleep in his room every night and basically do everything together from now on. The only time you two were apart is during class hours but after that, Jaehyun is right outside your classroom waiting for you.

“What are you doing?” you giggle and try to finish the book you’re reading in bed when Jaehyun suddenly entered your room, crawled on your bed, and went in between your legs. Removing your glasses for safety, inviting you to fuck while Jaehyun nibs your ear and caress your legs. Oh his kisses always make your head turn and ask for more.

“Johnny is not around and I just took a shower, hmm? What do you say?” He uses that cute tone that can always make you stop what you’re doing and say yes to him. Forget the book, you can finish it later.

Removing your shorts and underwear while he continuously kisses you, smiling and giggling while he whispers ‘you always look pretty’ before he removes your shirt and exposes your boobs to him. You tried getting up and help him remove his clothes, but he stopped you and kissed you down on the mattress. “Nu-uh. Stay there I’ll treat you good tonight” he winked and proceeds to remove his clothes in between your spread legs, your hands roam freely in his well sculpted and fucking beautiful body.

Then he reached for your phone and took a nice picture while you two are kissing. The sound of the camera clicking made your eyes open, “send me this picture later. So I can stop missing you” you smiled and nod, then Jaehyun took one too many pictures so he could focus on you again. When he’s finally contented with all the pictures he got, he finally thrust in deep and slow while his mouth is sucking one of your nipples and he looks incredibly handsome.

This time, it’s you who grabbed your phone and took some pictures of him sucking your boobs and making you feel good, taking some pictures of his cock inside your pussy while he thrusts. Jaehyun had the idea of taking a video while you two fuck but this time, it’s for his and your eyes only. He took the phone from you and recorded how he fucks you good, and did not miss the part where you part your lips and moan.

“Jaehyun I’m almost there” you moan out, fingerings raking his nape or on his beautiful body. He puts the camera on the bedside table with a perfect angle of him fucking you, without masks or any cover. He intertwines his fingers with yours before he fucks you hard and fast. The camera that’s recording everything was completely forgotten and Jaehyun focused on making you feel good, making you cum at least two times using his dick and his fingers.

After your second high you were so exhausted that you were breathing heavily and Jaehyun is helping you to calm down while kissing your boobs and sucking them playfully. Even your cute moments like this was caught on camera and Jaehyun was more than happy about it.

“You okay? Want to cum for the third time?” He reached for your phone, stop the recording and went back in between your legs again and kiss you wherever he wants. You didn’t answer him ‘yes’ because to be completely honest you were still exhausted and he understood you well. For a good quiet minutes he was just staring at you, flashing his dimples, raking his fluffy hair and biting his lips at the same time. The silence felt good and not the usual awkward silence you have.

“The next live that we will be doing is going to be our last. And our dorm rent will be settled in no time” he started.

“And?”

“I’ll miss you”

Ouch. You wish he kept the quietness and peace instead. Just as you thought that life will now let you be with Jaehyun peacefully, here comes the heartbreak again. Truth is Jaehyun is still scared and very much afraid to hurt you that’s why he just wanted to fix himself before he could date you officially. He didn’t want to pursue his feeling with you just because you did porn together and fucked live, no you deserve better than that.

He loves you. So much, but he’s not ready yet.

You wanted to shout at him and asked him what else does he want from you? He is so good at making you feel like you’re always not enough for him and that makes your mind go crazy. He did it again. He left you hanging again when you’ve completely fallen in love with him. Turns out he’s not willing and ready to catch you. But as usual, you do what you do best. Shrugged it off and continue to live like it’s not bothering you.

The live fucking and porn making stopped for a while because you and Jaehyun have final exams. And the awkwardness between you and Jaehyun came back in no time, nonetheless, it was a good week to have a breather and to let yourself think straight. But still, you can’t help but think about everything and miss Jaehyun.

“Are you on your way home?” Johnny asks Jaehyun through the phone.

“Yeah, just buying us dinner”

“Good. Y/n is on her period”

“Am I suppose to be happy because I didn’t get her pregnant?” He chuckled proudly and having no clue what Johnny was saying.

“Take care of her she has period cramps dumb ass!“

“Oh right- right… sorry. Okay, yeah”

When Jaehyun arrived with the stuff that Johnny told him to buy for you and the dinner Jaehyun bought you, you were twisting in hurt inside your room grunting and very vocal about the pain while you hug the hot compress Johnny left you when Jaehyun entered your room.

“Ah- fuck it hurts” you groan and curl yourself, pressing that hot compress more on your lower abdomen and endure your period cramps. Jaehyun is just so sweet to stay beside you and rub your back while he watches you suffer.

“I want to help. Do you need anything other than that hot compress?” He was concerned and willing to make you feel better.

“Nothing I’m fine. You’re so sweet” you said in a little irritated tone but you’re not actually irritated with him. He scrolls through his phone with one hand, while the other is rubbing and caressing your back to give you comfort.

“Google says sex is good when-“

“I’m not having period sex with you, Jaehyun” but you do want him to touch you. Stupid hormones. Stupid period. It just makes you crave for him even more, desperate for even a kiss, or even just with his body closer to you.

“Are you horny?” He asks without shame, smiling at you and hoping that you say yes.

“I am” you admitted

“Just say yes, I got you” he was like seducing you, luring you to sin with him tonight while you bleed. And you like it.

“Okay” you answered softly. Shy but he knew you’re not that type anymore.

Jaehyun scoop over and went under the covers with you. Giving you that warmth that you need, making your body warm and comfortable, and basically giving everything you want. He intertwines his fingers with you, kissed your knuckles, and then your lips. Softly. Slowly. It’s every girl’s dream kiss. And just like his kiss, his hand creeps under the covers, all the way down until he reaches your thighs and spread one leg to gain access to your hole.

“W-wait. Let me just remove the tampon” shyly you inform him and discarded it quickly under the covers and throw it into the trash bin. Going back to the comfort that Jaeyun is giving you, his hand went back in between your legs and tease your clothed slit the moment you’re back under the covers. Smiling so handsomely and innocently while he lies beside you like he’s not doing something lustful under the covers.

“Do you think this will work-“ and just before you finish your question, Jaehyun ran a finger on your very wet slit which turned him on immediately. He flicked his finger, drawing small circles in your nub and listening to you moan while your grip on the sheets tightens and try your best not to close your legs.

“Do you like this?” his lips were very close to your neck and the way he talks to you was so sultry that even his words can make you moan.

“Mhmm. F-fuck Jae, my clit is sensitive” but your legs say others wise because you spread them even more under the covers and your hips voluntarily move to meet his fingers. When he felt your legs shake and hear your moans become higher than usual, he figured you were close, went on top of you and started to hump your thigh while his hand is inside your now ruined panties reaching deep in your hole making you feel good and over sensitive. Jaehyun grunted so loud and moaned deliciously beside your ear, moving his hips like how he fucks you and you feel his hard cock poke your thigh from the inside of his pants. Soon, Jaehyun came inside his pants and did not care about being embarrassed.

While you were coming down from your high, the man on top of you kept kissing you like you’re all that matters to him. Even though you well know that you’re just fooling yourself.

The night ended with Jaehyun sleeping beside you and further taking care of you after you both cleanup. But you woke up the next day without him beside you and thankfully, Johnny came out of nowhere to rescue you from your ugly thoughts. He came into your room with a cup of coffee and some bread for you, smiling like he has no problems in life and to be honest, you love how he’s always like this.

Since both of you don’t have classes today, you went to the groceries with Johnny and had a nice dinner at a fast food he loves. It felt great. It felt great to be with a guy who’s not Jaehyun. The man always keeps you on your toes and you feel like your head is always in the clouds whenever you’re with him but Johnny, he keeps you grounded.

“Shoot. The landlord is really testing me- he wants the money tonight or else they have to kick us out tomorrow. Fuck!” He says typing aggressively on his phone, telling Jaehyun immediately.

“Were not due until next week why are they doing this to us. We have no choice but to go live then” you said calmly, unbothered as much as possible because you just want this to be over now and move on from Jaehyun.

“You can't. You have your period and Jaehyun is not available- fuck why is he not picking up”

“There are other ways to make a guy cum Johnny. I’m sure you know that” you chuckle and shook your head in disbelief.

“Still, Jaehyun is not answering” he gave up and put down his phone.

“Well you’re available. I just want this to be over Johnny” clearly he didn’t expect you to suggest such a thing. You continue to eat your food in silence and so is the man in front of you. Obviously, he was bothered with what you suggested but it appears that he has no choice. You watch him fidget on his phone, maybe he’s not yet done contacting Jaehyun and still hoping that his friend will end up last minute but...

“Okay” he let a sigh of relief, “I texted Jaehyun that well do it but we're not going to uhm- uh, fuck. Blow job then? No more, no less? A bit of kissing maybe. Tell me what do you want? I’ll be able to do this comfortably if I know that you like what I’m doing to you”

“Hmm. Okay, let’s start by... be gentle with me. You’re a big guy and you know... what I mean”

“I may be big physically but I’m warm on the inside, being gentle is not a problem” he smiles and pour you a glass of water before he asks for the bill. “What else?” he added.

“Touch me, don’t hesitate. If you feel like my jaw needs rest then you can tell me to stop” he nods and told you he will surely not forget about that.

The conversation went on until you reached home and get ready for the live. Unlike Jaehyun who made you feel so nervous the day you had your first live with him, Johnny makes you feel calm and comfortable the whole time.

Now that you’re in front of Johnny, half naked with only your panties and your mask on, everything happened perfectly. It wasn’t perfect but it wasn’t awkward too, and quite frankly you had fun with Johnny. Even though the audience noticed that you’re not with Jaehyun right now, they can’t help but love Johnny’s hot body too and the way he fuck your face gently in front of the camera. Hands cupping both sides of your face as he thrust his long, hard and veiny cock in your mouth. Smiling through the pleasure whenever you purposely swirl your tongue and bob your head aggressively.

After the cum-filled and messy live with Johnny, you wired the money to your landlord immediately and secure the rent for good until the three of you graduates. Now you and Johnny can breathe normally after cleaning up and enjoy the warmth of your bed. “Do you like Jaehyun?” He blurted out, trying not to look at your exposed boobs but you roll your body and face the ceiling and so his efforts went to waste.

“Yeah but I don’t think he likes me enough. Y-you know what I mean” he shook his head to tell you he has no idea about Jaehyun’s intentions with you.

“Just have patience with him if you like him, after all, you’re the only girl that can do this to him”

“Do what?” you ask with eagerness.

“Did you really think that I won't notice you two fucking behind my back?” You laughed at what he said and laughed your shyness away, “but it’s alright. I figured maybe you like each other so I didn’t dare stop you two”

The giggling and laughing with Johnny under the soft light of your lampshade continued until you passed out and Johnny was the one who helped you get dressed. And on the same night, Jaehyun heard and saw you and Johnny laugh over a half closed door. Seeing your bodies close to each other made his blood boil and became jealous in no time. That’s why on the next day, Jaehyun was expressing his anger while you three are gathered in the kitchen. He’s not saying a word, but he kept on closing the cabinets a little too rough while he prepares his meal. Then it hit you, he’s jealous.

You confronted him and went to his room, closed and locked the door so Johnny won't hear the unpleasant conversation you’re about to have with Jaehyun. “Don’t be angry with Johnny, I’m the one who suggested it-“

“Like that’s going to make me feel better Y/n. Get out, you’re wasting your time” he turned his back and proceeds to fix his bed.

“It’s not like we cheated Jae. Were not together” you blurted as calm as possible. Little did you know that you just triggered something in him that makes him want to punch a wall and pour his anger out but he can’t. At least not in front of you. So instead, he shouted at you. So loud that you got scared for a second there.

“You know, I’m always afraid to hurt you but you! You don’t care if you hurt me!”

“Don’t act as if you love me, Jae. You never did. You never even tried!” You shouted back and walked away towards his door, banging it and walked straight to your room with tears in your eyes.

The fight was short but unforgettable.

Later that day, Jaehyun got worried when you didn’t eat lunch and dinner and your door was still locked and he can hear you crying from the other side. He kept on knocking at your door until you got annoyed and unlocked it but you covered yourself with your thick sheets.

“Come on why are you crying? Don’t cry over a stupid guy like me you don’t deserve it. I’m sorry” you feel his embrace and rub your back so you know that he’s sincere. And finally, you removed the sheets but still, you don’t want to look him in the eye.

You have a lot of questions for Jaehyun, and you think now is the perfect time to cry it all out and let him know what he’s doing to you. Why he didn’t text you back the night after you fuck for the first time, why he never ask you out when he promised he would, why he’s jealous all of a sudden.

FLASHBACK (In the middle of junior year)

It was very late already and some crazy person is ringing your doorbell nonstop. This couldn’t be Jaehyun or Johnny obviously they don’t need to ring the doorbell because they live here and they know the code. That’s why you were surprised that Jaehyun is the one ringing it and turns out he is batshit drunk and can’t even remember the code. “Where is Johnny when you need him” you murmur, “Jae, help yourself too. I can’t carry you all the way up to the fourth floor,” you said sternly to the handsome guy clinging on to you, breath smells like alcohol, eyes lidded but can still appreciate your beautiful face.

When you finally carried him successfully back to your place, without any hesitation he puked on your sleepwear and smiled so sweetly at you like he did nothing wrong. You wanted to slap him and wake him from his drunken state but Jaehyun was quick with his hands and unbutton your sleepwear and used it to wipe the small amount of puke on the floor.

You cover yourself with your arms and walked straight to your room and get a clean shirt before you take care of Jaehyun. He was murmuring “sorry” as he sees you walk away from him and weakly sit on the floor with dirty clothes and hope that you will come back to him.

When he sees you all dressed up again with a damped cloth on your hand, he smiled and spread his arms like he’s about to give you a hug. “Why are you acting cute- here hold this while I remove your socks” you hand him the damped cloth and proceed to remove his dirty socks and throw it with your dirty sleepwear. He looks at you lovingly as you wipe his face with the utmost care, looking at your lips and thinking about kissing it but no. He may be drunk but he won’t do that to you.

“Go on a date with me,” he says while you continue to wipe his face and help him take off his hoodie. You giggle and boops his nose before you stand and help him to get on his feet, “try asking me again when you’re sober” you opened his room door and told him to don’t forget to change his pants and greet him good night.

But after a few minutes, you’re all tucked in bed and half asleep already when you feel a pair of arms cage you. You can still smell his breath and figured maybe Jaehyun is clingy like this whenever he’s really drunk, which rarely happens.

“It's so sweet, knowing that you love me. Though we don't need to say it to each other, sweet. Knowing that I love you, and running my fingers through your hair. It's so sweet” he sings a few lines from Sweet by Cigarettes After Sex and smells your hair until his breath tickles your nape.

Sweet. He’s not only clingy while he’s drunk, but he’s sweet too. “I think I like you more when you’re rarely this drunk” you turn your body and faced him. Seeing Jaehyun with sleepy eyes, lips curved in a weak smile, but arms conscious enough to keep you near him.

“Then I’ll get drunk every day if that makes you love me”

But on the next day, he just thanked you for taking care of him and forgot about the date. And on the next few days and following weeks, you hear him fuck different girls and have one night stands every now and then.

BACK TO PRESENT TIME SENIOR YEAR

“I keep on hurting you I’m sorry. Don’t cry, please. I hate that I’m hurting you. This is the reason why I can’t pursue my feelings for you. I’m a mess and I’m not ready”

And just as you thought that this day couldn’t get any worse. It just did. You look at Jaehyun as he tells you the truth and admits his true feelings with you. How he fell in love with you but chose not to pursue his feelings because he’s not ready and you deserve better. And from there you stopped listening to him and told him to leave you alone. Jaehyun was speechless and hopeless, he wanted to explain and express his long bottled feelings for you but you don’t want to.

All this time you thought that it’s you who’s lacking that’s why he can’t even try and ask you out. But now that you know the truth and he would rather make you feel small than swallow his pride and try to make things work with you, well you just can’t be around him anymore.

Graduation is approaching near and your dorm has been quiet ever since you finished paying the rent and Jaehyun got mad because of what you and Johnny did. You look at the quiet place while you eat your instant noodle and reminisce the good days you spent with the two giants who made your college years unforgettable and happy. Actually, they even made your life easier.

Days become even more lonely now that Jaehyun and Johnny became busy with their last requirements and you’ve been alone for a few days now. You wake up without the two boys, go to class or run some errands, they go home but you’re not home, and by the time you arrive home they have shifts to the radio station again.

Today is your birthday and you spend it with some of your classmates which are all sweet and you treat them to dinner. Johnny left a bouquet of flowers on your bed before he left for work, together with a sweet happy birthday card. And Jaehyun… well, let’s just say that maybe he forgot about it because being a graduating student makes you busy.

While you were having a nice dream of Jaehyun singing a happy birthday song to you with a small cupcake in his hand, in reality, he woke you up by patting your head and a kiss on your forehead, whispering ‘I’m sorry’ and kissing your face until you’re awake and what’s happening right now is finally registering in your mind. You wrapped your arms around him and decided to forgive him for being stupid and accept his apology. “Is this for me?” you point at the chocolate cake on the bedside drawer a blew the candle, making your room dark and only the soft light from your window lights up your room.

“What did you wish for” he came closer to you and rests his forehead on yours. Oh you missed his presence, but all you feel right now is the heartbreak and remember what happened a few weeks ago.

“You, Jaehyun” you whisper and closed your eyes, not caring if there are tears in your eyes. You’re not afraid to show him that you ache for him.

“I told you, I can’t-“ you didn’t want to hurt yourself further and listen to those hurtful words so you kissed him and pulled him on top of you.

Everything happened so fast and naturally. You removed your shorts, he was quick to spread your legs and free his hardening cock. Not even bothering to reach for a condom, he fucked you in the dark and whispered “I’m sorry” over and over again that it hurts your ear and your heart so you put your thumb in his mouth and let him suck it good while his thrust was slowly picking up the pace and you hear skin slapping surrounds your room

“Jaehyun-“ you moan his name when you felt that familiar feeling of being on edge but you’re not yet ready to let go. You’re not yet ready to let him go. So you tried with all your might to clench and stop yourself from cumming but what you’re doing to Jaehyun just makes him want to fuck you more.

And so he did.

He covered your mouth not because he didn’t want to let Johnny know that you’re fucking but because he never wants to hear your beautiful moans again. He closed his eyes so he could no longer see your face and dream about you underneath him, and with that, he continues to thrust so harshly that it’s hurting you so good and your grip on his shoulders will surely leave a mark.

Soon you failed and cum before Jaehyun could. You exchanged sharp exhales, gasps, and quiet grunts before he lies beside you and kiss you deeply the whole night. One last time.

As expected, you woke up alone in your bed with a sore body. You stretched for a few minutes before you got out of bed and head outside to have breakfast. At first, you thought that you will be alone again today but turns out Johnny is free.

“Belated Happy birthday. Did you like the flowers I got you?” he greets you good morning and gave you a bear hug.

“I did. I put it in a vase, it’s in my room. Thank you” now that Johnny is here and you’re not alone eating breakfast, you can’t help but wish for Jaehyun to be here.

“Jaehyun is uhm… working. I can take you out today, let’s have dinner and celebrate your birthday again. What do you say?” he offers excitedly and even showed you a great restaurant from his phone.

When the evening comes and you and Johnny should be out by now but you were having a hard time to chose what to wear, Jaehyun arrived out of nowhere with a girl on his shoulders. Someone not familiar and they’re holding hands.

“I think your friends are going out on a date aren’t they babe?” the girl asks Jaehyun, like she's tying to get his attention but Jaehyun’s eyes are glued on you. Eyes that are very much sorry because he didn’t mean for you to see his new girlfriend after your birthday. So this is why Johnny was rushing you tonight. He didn’t want you to see Jaehyun with his new girlfriend because he knew it will hurt you greatly.

“Y/n-“ Jaehyun called you but you didn’t bother looking back and told Johnny that you’re ready now… even though your earrings don't match with your dress. If he can try and be in a relationship with someone else then what does that make you? Why can’t he try for you?

The night went on, carrying the lie that you’re okay but to be honest, you don’t want to go back to that fucking dorm. Good thing, Johnny was trying so hard to cheer you up and make you forget about what happened. Which is working and for that you’re thankful.

On the same night, you swore to yourself that you will never let Jaehyun into your life again and make you feel small. You will never throw yourself to him again, or even spare a glance and waste your time with the one and only guy whom you allowed to break your heart over and over again. But not anymore.

Jaehyun was nothing but sweet to you and that’s all he’ll ever be.

Five years later

When you came home from work, you caught your boyfriend cooking dinner with a glass of cold wine beside him. You greet him, “hey” and kissed him on the cheek before you wrap your arms around his strong built body.

“Tired? Hows work? I have big news” he says while stirring something from the pan. You told him he could tell the big news first because he looks excited, and so he did. With big smiles and overflowing excitement, he said that “Jaehyun is going to get married and I’m his best man!” you almost let out a laugh but you stopped yourself.

“Mhmm. Guess who’s taking care of the wedding....” you teased him. But just as you burst your boyfriend’s bubble, his reaction was quite unexpected.

“N-no, don’t tell me it’s you” he suddenly stopped cooking, he wasn’t mad. Just shocked at the moment and because of the big news.

“Johnny- Don’t tell me you’re being jealous right now...” you tease him further, “he’s like a college fling baby, and you’re the real deal!” you kiss him on the lips but he’s still sulking and went back to cooking.

“We both know it’s not just a fling” he whines.

“He’s getting married and we’re literally inseparable. What are you so jealous of? You know I saw Jaehyun looked at his fiancé and guess what,”

“What?” he turns off the stove and prepared two plates for dinner which you helped him do.

“He never looked at me that way, but you did” you see a shy smile on his face now and poke his cheek but he's quick to catch your hand and pull you into a hug. The kind of hug only Johnny can provide.

“Sorry, that was so childish of me”

“It’s okay. Dinner looks good, is this a new recipe?”

Soon after dinner, Johnny expresses his apology in bed in many ways he can, making you feel good and treating you right as always until it became too exhausting because you don’t think you could cum anymore after having your fourth…or fifth? To be honest you’re not sure anymore.

But even though you’re tired and exhausted, you still can’t help but reminisce. Throughout the years of forgetting Jaehyun, Johnny has always been patient with you and waited for you to heal from Jaehyun. Johnny brought you to the movies and went out with you while Jaehyun only promised. It's like Jaehyun kept promising you things but Johnny is the one keeping them.

“I thought you’re exhausted?” He kissed your shoulder to bring you back to Earth when he saw you spacing out. “Stop thinking. I’ll marry you too, you know that right?” oh you know that all too well, so you nod and kissed him. Whispered ‘i love yous’ over and over again, and thanked him for being the one for you. It was never easy for both of you, but still, you yearn for each other. Sometimes, love will point us to the wrong person so we could find the right person to us. Yes, Jaehyun was sweet, but Johnny is not only sweet in fact he showed his love to you since day 1.

#nct-writers #neosmutcollective #neowritingsnet #kwritersworldnet #kpopscape #kdiner #cznnet #nct smut #jaehyun #jung jaehyun #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun angst #jaehyun smut #jaehyun x reader #jung jaehyun x reader #nct jaehyun #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun scenario #jaehyun scenarios

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chocominnie · 3 years ago

Text

One Last Time 04 — Pjm. (M)

⇢ pairing: Jimin X Reader

⇢ Genre: Idol!Jimin, Exbf!Jimin, model!reader, sad au, fluff, tons of smut, angst

⇢ Synopsis: Your idol ex boyfriend Jimin cheated on you. You two have been broken up for a while now and the media has been keeping track of you and him. You’re trying to get over him, but the things that happen inbetween makes you re-think the entire breakup, and so does Jimin…

⇢ Song : xxxxx

⇢ Previous : 00 01 02 03

⇢ Word Count : 4.7k

⇢ Warnings: dominant jimin, makeout sessions, this is honestly a sad angsty au, cheating, pregnancy, unprotected and protected sex, a bunch of sex, no really a LOT of sexual themes too, I know I’m forgetting some but sorry in advance!

⇢ Copyright: please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken

⇢ Authors note: This is my mini series for the summer! Get your tissues, things to take your anger out on, and sit back and watch the drama unfold. Shall we begin?

Last night can’t get out of your mind. It’s not like you to do such a dumb thing. Kissing Jimin... you didn’t know what had gotten into you last night. The last thing you’d ever want to do is have someone go through the same thing you did with Jimin when he had cheated on you. Your mind raced all night thinking if that kiss, that one sole kiss, would make you the bad guy? Make this whole situation worse?

Wrong.

Both of you were vulnerable and just not the same. Of course you’re still tender to the subject of and about him, and forever will have have a soft spot for Jimin. You didn’t expect that to happen though.

‘‘ Yes.. Yes.. Okay.. I understand.”

You drone on for the millionth time today. Only 9 am and calls are making their way to you. You’ve been caught. Someone spotted you and Jimin last night walking to your apartment. Luckily the pictures were only garage scenes of you and him. Jimin’s head hanging low trailing a distance behind you while you hold your sore arm. Thankfully, by the looks of the new articles every damn hour, they think that you had hurt yourself and Jimin was supposedly there for you for comofort.

The fanpages are going to have a field day with that.

Your manager continues to lecture you about how this could start a scandal, how you should of been more careful, and finally that those words everyone has told you before. He wasn’t good to you, move on.

‘‘ Listen im just going to be with Ryan today and she’s bringing Jungkook. We are heading over to Ryan’s office to discuss things and what not.’‘ You sigh into the phone, wanting to hang up already.

Your manager on the other line is hesitant for you to go, but gives in once you say you’ll only be an hour in and out. That’s the only way you’ll get to go out today. Whenever small scandals like this brew up, the management company would make you stay low for the next three days.

You both say your goodbyes and then hang up. Finally. Somewhere in the room Clara lets out one of her tiny meows making you smile to yourself. The day planned ahead is way more exciting than you worrying to yourself

‘‘ Baby please. I have to go’‘

Isabel smirks lowly while shaking her head. Jimin watches her intensively as her hands roam all around his now bare chest, that was covered with a shirt two minutes ago.

‘‘ Jimin, you and I both know that we haven’t had much time to ourselves lately.’‘

Her dainty fingertips trace over his forming abs one by one staring him straight in the eyes. He bites his lip hard just before letting out a useless groan with his head thrown back in the chair. It’s true. With all the celebrity show appearances they’ve had, the quality time together has been cut short.

He ries to pry her hands away from his jeans but it’s no use. “ I have to leave, Jungook wants me at Ryan’s office in twenty minutes.”

Her face turns into a pout, lifting her hands from his jeans. ‘’ So he’s more important than your girlfriend?’’

‘‘ Well I mean he is my blood broth- Fuck!’’

It’ was quick enough to where he didn’t feel it coming. Before he knew it, his jeans were unbuttoned and her mouth glides across the imprint of his shaft hiding behind his boxers. “ We can stop and you can leave.. if you want..” She knows exactly what shes doing by making sure her voice is low and those round eyes meeting his.

His groans only become louder when she takes a long, slow lick from the base to the tip. There’s no way on hell he’ll miss this opportunity to get some head. Jimin’s craving for sex has been high lately and with no time to recieve pleasure, he damn sure wasn’t gonna let up this offer. “ Fuck that. Keep going my love.”

Grabbing a fistful of Isabel’s hair, he yanks his boxers down revealing his thick, hard member hat springs up to his belly button. Isabel smirks at him just before taking the whole thing down her throat making Jimin moan out louder in pleasure. The sound of sucking, wet noises fill the studio’s ambiance.

Jimin watches her intensely while letting out low groans and growls as her bobbing head becomes quicker. This isn’t what he wants truly. What he wants is you. You is who he wishes who’d be pleasuring him right now. The way you’d sometimes gag on him when his dick filled your mouth completely was something he’d always enjoyed seeing. The way your eyes water with him stuffed in your mouth but determined to go on was a major turn on for him. He wants you and only you. Right now in this moment Isabel doesn’t mean shit to him but you do.

He can’t help but to lean back in his chair and close his eyes waiting to chase his high, all with the thoughts of you and your guises past sexual encounters turning him on even more with the lost track of time in the back of his mind.

You on the other hand, wait with Jungkook and Ryan who are getting a bit anxious waiting for the boy’s arrival. You of course didn’t want him to come. It’ll only make things more complicated than it is right now. Essentially you were going to leave when Jungkook said he’d be inviting Jimin.. yet again.

Seeing as though when you were on your way to the office, you had glanced at the clouds and could see a big thunderstorm brewing. You’d rather not take your chances of being rained on while walking back to your apartment.

‘‘ Geez where is this guy? He’s always late ever since he’s been with Isa-”

A shove by Ryan shuts him right up before finishing his sentence. Ryan gives him a glare and a few utters of words to him before turning back to the giant window that gazes over the bright nightlife of Seoul.

One part of you wishes for Jimin not to actually show up but the other does. Just to see his face and reaction too you ever since yesterday. But just for the sake of it, you won’t bring it up. Play it off like it never happened.

‘‘ Was it really necessary for us to come at night? We couldn’t of just come during the day?’’ Jungkook says, walking over to her.

He snakes his arms around his waist placing gentle butterfly kisses around her neck. The reflection off the mirror shows her facial expression, a slight smile as they sway from side to side. A ping of happiness shoots through you at the sight of them. It reminds you of you and Jimin. That happiness quickly shuts down.

You smile to yourself, “Well i’m a model, Jungkook and his brother are idols, and you’re an upcoming fashion designer dating said Idol. ”

Jungkook clears his throat before placing his arm gently around Ryan, “ Yeah she’s MY girlfriend.’’ He says proudly. Ryan shakes her head while playfully rolling her eyes.

You giggle along with her. It’s only been a short while since he’s asked her and he seems so happy and proud with her. Something you wish that Jimin wouldn’t have ruined for you two.

‘‘ Nobody knows we are dating and If paparazzi catches you coming to my office it’s going to stir up something rather it be little or not.’‘ Ryan sighs, sitting down next to you on the white couch.

Jungkook pauses to be silent for a second but continues on, “ That would happen regardless because paparazzi comes out at any time of day. We just so happen not to get caught.’’

Your frail hands begin to play with the sleeve of your shirt at the wrists. Something you do when anxious but trying to keep calm. You’re starting to get annoyed with this couple talk. You’re happy for them but rubbing it in is starting to hurt a bit. Where is he at?

‘‘ You know what im tired of waiting. If he comes he comes. If he doesn’t oh well we already knew he’s an asshole because of that girl now.” Ryan scoffs.

She folds her arms as she leans onto Jungkook who’s now sitting on the arm of the couch. He chuckles at her pouting and sudden anger just before giving her a kiss on the forehead.

You take in the sight of them. Two love birds that mean the world to each other. You wouldn’t dare want nor try to break them up. You knew Jungkook has been waiting for that moment to ask her. When he did on that day Ryan couldn’t of been even more happier.

And if as on cue, that familiar face comes in quietly with two large brown bags in his hands. You choose not to make eye contact with him when he stops infront of the couch, glancing at you.

‘‘ Im sorry im late. I bought food for us..” He pleads for forgiveness. If it was up to you then you wouldn’t have forgiven him. Hell, you still don’t want to forgive him for that act last night. Yet you can’t be a hypocrite because you’re just as guilty.

Jungkook takes the bags from him due to the way to familiar scent coming from them. Jajangmyeon. His favorite noodles of all time. A quick way to earn his forgiveness of anything.

‘‘ You are forgiven don’t let it happen again,” He says, smiling ear to ear as he pulls out his serving of noodles.

Ryan hands you a pair of chopsticks and your serving of noodles. You thank her and look down at the bowl. If you did eat it that means you forgave him, if you didn’t that means you wont. Your mind doesn’t know which one to pick.

While everyone sits there talking amongst themselves you sit there with chopsticks in hand zoned out. You seen the hickies when he had came in. When he had tilted his head announcing his arrival, thats when you saw it peeking from under his scarf. that The dark bruises peaked up and back into hiding whenever he moved.

‘‘ You don’t like the noodles?” Jungkook says, taking a big bite of noodles then slurping them up.

Ryan gives you one of your guises code looks but you give one back to say you are fine. ‘’ Im sorry I was just zoned out.’’

You don’t engage on any of the conversation instead you sit there eating your noodles quietly until they’re gone. That is until the real reason why you are here is brought up.

‘‘ We are here because me and Jungkook have thought about you guys.” Ryan glances at the boy who’s now wiping his face free of sauce.

Great. When are people going to stop doing that though?

‘‘ Ryan come on now, I honestly don’t care. He’s happy with her and I am with myself. Im serious. Please stop thinking about things like this. Im happy can’t you see that! ‘‘ By this point you know you’re all worked up.

It isn’t the truth, but you just want everyone to stop worrying so you could move on. Bringing the whole situation up all the time is draining for you and you’d rather not be reminded of Jimin and what he does and how he’s doing.

Jimin keeps quite with a stare that’s intense on you. You stare right back at him with an emotionless expression. The both of your eyes never leave each-other but you knew it had hurt him. Saying that you’re fine but he knows you’re bothered a lot.

Jungkook sighs heavily, “Baby-Cheeks don’t get all upset now. We are just worried solely on you. Even Jimin is and we all came to an agreement to have this civil conversation right here and now because all of it needs to be addressed.”

You cock your head slightly to the side not leaving Jimin’s eyes. You knew for a fact that this entire conversation is his doing just by Jungkook saying that last sentence.

“ I told you to stop worrying about me. I really meant it. I’m fine. I am F I N E .’’ You spell out the words, then shake your head clearly pissed off.

‘‘ But you aren’t. You constantly lose focus and don’t talk as much. Im worried for you so much that it pains me to even see you like this.” Jimin bites his lips to prevent from breaking down. You know that expression all to well.

That still doesn’t mean he should be worrying about you. You two are no longer together and no matter how many times you scream it to the top of your lungs each time, nobody listens to you.

‘‘ I am fine. I promise you guys. I’ve just had a comeback and they set me on a strict diet for the next few months and I go to the gym more than I used to because that’s what us models do. Since I have been absent for a year now my break time is over. The reason I zone out is because I have a busy schedule and sleep is whenever I can get it so that makes me tired often. I am fine.”

Your explanation is partially true and you do feel bad for lying on some of the parts but knowing them they will keep doing whatever to make things right. It’s time for you and them to stop worrying about Jimin and your relationship with each other.

The group doesn’t say anything after that. You tried to keep the best serious tone you had to explain that to them. Luckily they fell through and believed it. All except Jimin.

‘‘ Now can we move on? Is everything okay now?” You ask, looking at both Ryan and Jungkook. They both shake their head slowly still unsure of what to think.

‘‘ Well since that is over with, lets all take our leave yeah?” Ryan sighs, collecting everybody’s trash from the food. You nod your head and begin to help her while the boys go somewhere in the room to talk privately together.

You don’t care enough to want to know about what they’re saying. As long as they don’t bring anything of worriedness about you again then it’s okay. Soon after the room is all cleaned up you grab your coat and scarf. Jungkook grabs Ryan’s and helps her into hers, zipping it all the way up.

‘‘ My baby can’t catch a cold.” He giggles before placing a kiss on her forehead. Ryan turns a deep red in her cheeks as he continues to dress her properly for the snow outside.

‘‘ Can we talk privately again?’‘ A quite voice says behind you. You knew it all to well. But you don’t turn around at all while slipping your coat on.

‘‘ I’ve thought I made myself clear. I don’t need to say it again. Please just accept it.” The maroon colored scarf is gently placed around you from behind.

You grab his hands to stop him but he’s quick enough to come in-front of you and begin to wrap it for you. “ You lied. You can fool them but not me.’’

You break his hands away from the scarf, making sure to glare at him before you storm out of the office. All of the pressure and just concern in general is getting to you. It’s not like you to get worked up to this point. You hate making scenes and you knew that when you left like that it’s going to spark more curiousness.

The heel of your black suede thigh high boots click down the hallway fast as tears feel the brim of your eyes. Why wont they just leave it be?

After taking the long way out and going down three flights of stairs from the emergency exit, you make it down to the lobby and out the rotating doors.

When you do you almost choke out a whimper at the sight at Jimin greeting Isabel with a hug in which she pulls him down to a deep passionate kiss while waiting in-front of his car.

He was just upstairs dressing you properly, but kissing on her a few minutes later. Typical Jimin.

You bite your lip hard enough for the taste of blood to fill your mouth to prevent from crying right then and there. You can’t show her any sign of weakness. This is what she wants you to do. Cry and breakdown in-front of her to gain victory. She can’t have it. She wont have it.

You slip your hands into the coat pockets and begin your journey down the street. Catching a taxi would be no use. The cold harsh wind mixing with the hard drops of rain feel euphoric but numb to you.

‘‘ What are you doing? You’ll catch a cold for walking in this type of weather!” A voice yells far from behind you.

You don’t bother to look back at him. You up your pace just by a little to get that voice far away from you as possible. He kissed you last night, but kissed her right infront of you. The lump in your throat is sore and your heart hurts with each step you take. Is this how the game goes? It hurts. It hurts a lot.

The wind blows harsh and the rain blows on your face making your makeup wet but not smeared. The mascara running down your face doesn’t matter from your wet tears.

The stop lights turn yellow, red, and then green a couple of times. You count the number of changes before walking past it. Three times total.

Yellow

Red

Green

then back again.

The thunder roars causing you to jump a bit, but you’re numb to any noise around you anyways. You sniffle repeatedly to stop your nose from running but why not just let it run? Why not just let everything go. Let yourself go. Yeah that sounds about right. Let yourself g-

The blackness of your vision is sudden. No chance to react when the sound disappears from it. To the ground your body goes, laying there in a puddle of water. Your eyes blink slowly when you wince in pain upon bringing your hand up to your head. Vision goes in and out, in and out. You can’t hear the disorted person above you screaming and shaking you just before blacking out again.

The look of horror on his face and adrenaline runs through his body as soon as your eyes close. He thinks it’s his fault. His fault for wanting to keep talking to you. His fault for kissing you last night. His fault for stressing you out to your limits for you to walk home instead of asking him for a ride.

Running his hand through his hair, he slowly picks up your limp body. He saw that fall, and that fall was hard. You slipped on a decent sized amount of a dirt and mud mixture from not paying attention. Tears roll down his eyes when he places you in the passenger seat to buckle your seatbelt where your chest rises up and down. A sign of life.

The ride to your house is hell for him. Constantly hitting the steering wheel out of anger from himself and crying loudly wishing for you to be fine and okay. The hospital wasn’t an option right now. If paparazzi saw him taking you in unconcious right after the small scandal, he’d be sure that he’d be on the news for the next two weeks for supposedly abusing you, which isn’t the case.

It doesn’t take him long to arrive, considering he was tokyo drifting through the streets of Seoul. Laying your body on your bed, he sees the bottom of your outfit is dirty with mud. At first he hesitates but keeping muddy clothes on you wouldn’t be right of him.

After picking out some sweatpants, he moves on to your hoodie collection and spots one in the back of the drawer folded into a ball. Jimin lets out a small laugh when he realizes its one of his. It must of ended up here in transit when packing from the old apartment.

Nevertheless, he decides it’s that one you’ll be wearing and not anyone of the others. When it comes time to undress you, he looks away when taking off your clothes and putting the new clothes on. He tucks you in when done, planting a small kiss on your forehead just before going to get an icepack for you to place it on your head.

The sound of cartoons playing in a distance wakes you up. Your eyes stir open until full view. The throbbing of your head makes you wince a little. You’re just as more confused as to when you made it into your apartment let alone your room.

‘‘ You’re awake?’‘

He places the icepack on the back of your head but when he goes to grab your hand to make you secure it, your heart skips a beat when his soft hand touches yours. It’s been a while since you last had his warm touch against yours.

The thoughts in your head stops when he lets go of your now cold hand. ‘‘ Why are you here?” You say, finally looking at him.

‘‘ You fell. You fell on a puddle of mud while crossing over to the next sidewalk.” He sighs, eyes staring at you with anger yet relief. Instead of fighting back for the sake of your throbbing head, you just look down.

Thats when you notice the new set of clothes on your body. You certainly weren’t wearing this hoodie before. In fact you knew for a fact that this particular hoodie was balled up in the back of your dresser drawer. It’s his.

“ You undressed me?” You yell, furrowing your eyebrows at him. You pull the cover closer up to your body out of embarassment but Jimin doesn’t care. He’s more worried about the fall than the undressing.

“ Do you fucking know how got damn worried I was?” Jimin walks over to you with his arms crossed and jaw clenching. You want to hide right about now. “You’re more worried about if I was a pervert or not but news flash, I didn’t even look at you while undressing you. I’m not the asshole you think I am.”

Silence is golden.

‘‘ We all shouldn’t have been out there with a storm coming, but we came to the office for your sake. You keep putting yourself at risk, just stop!‘‘ He semi-yells at you.

You know he’s correct but that doesn’t stop you from forming the lecture into an arguement.

‘‘ Risk? I don’t take risks unless necessary. I was just minding my business and walking home. I guess I wasn’t mindful for that the weather wasn’t suitable for walking. Thank you for tending to me.’’

The boy scoffs with a sarcastic smile on his face backing away from your bed. You close your eyes knowing you shouldn’t of said that. ‘‘ Wasn’t mindful? Really? Why can’t you just listen to me whenever I need you to?”

‘‘ You were with Isabel. I don’t have anything to do with your guys relationship at all. I didn’t want to seem like a threat to her. ‘‘

Jimin sighs and rubs his temples, ‘’ You know you’re hard headed right? Do you think I give a flying fuck if she was there or not? You health and you yourself are important to me. ‘’

Here we go again.

‘‘ I said don’t worr-’‘

Jimin raises up quickly with anger and sadness written all over his face, ‘’ I don’t care what you say. Fucking listen to me when I say so! I’m going to worry about you until the day I die and cannot breathe anymore! Accept it okay?’’ He semi- yells, chest heaving up and down fast.

You keep your eyes away from his. You knew it would happen. You knew he would blow up somehow today.

‘‘ Im not going to accept it. Want to know why? I’m not your girlfriend anymore. I have to accept the fact that you no longer are in a relationship with me Jimin. You need to too.’‘

Jimin sighs, pacing back in forth across the wooden floor while running his fingers through his hair repeatedly, “ I was hoping it wouldn’t have to be like this. I’m not letting it happen anymore. From now on I will be checking on you everyday. Understand?’’

‘‘ No I don-”

‘‘ Understand?’‘ He growls, head whipping towards your direction.

There it goes. Pissed off Jimin. The side of his dominance that he dares anyone to overpower.

‘‘ Jimin you cannot come he-”

He shoots you a glare wanting his question answered now. You bite your lip making sure to shut the fuck up at this point. Anything you say after you know would do damage. ‘‘ Do you. Fucking. Understand?’‘

You nod your head. When he becomes like this there isn’t any way to stop him or change his mind.

‘‘ Good. Im not leaving for the night.”

You furrow your eyebrows, “Woah Jimin. Okay that’s too far. That’s considered cheating on Isabel.”

‘‘ It’s not. Not if im not with her anymore.’‘

Your heart jumps at those words. Not with her anymore?

‘‘ You honestly didn’t have to break up with her for me.”

You know you’d honestly feel very bad, but not as bad because she honestly deserves it for being a homewrecker. Then again, what does that make you?

‘‘ We technically are on a break. Im planning to break up with her in a couple of days.” He says, turning the blaring hot heater that was turned on prior to you waking up, onto it’s low settings.

You decide that’s enough of questions and to just enjoy his company there while it lasts. Putting the cover back down, you pick up your phone from the nightstand. A few texts from your manager, a missed call from Ryan. By the looks of it they both don’t know what happened and that somehow relieves you.

Looking back up at him, you notice him turned around about to take off his shirt. His back muscles are evident and flex whenever he moves. You miss those. The way they’d feel under your hands and nails when he used to be ontop of you giving you the best nights of your life.

You hadn’t known he had turned around because you’re too deep in thought recalling those nights. “ Im assuming you like what you see?”

So you’ve been caught. “ No. Put your shirt back on.” Its a lie but you can’t admit to daydreaming about him.

‘‘ Hush im just changing into new clothes.’‘

You watch him go to your bottom left dresser and it all clicks to you. Back when you both shared an apartment Jimin kept extra clothing for emergencies always in the left bottom drawer.

You don’t know why, but you felt that it was tradition to put his extra clothing inside the bottom left drawer when you moved into here. Jimin had left the box of emergency clothing, on accident, with you as the both of you moved out.

When things had arrived here and you started unpacking you had seen what was inside the box. Instead of calling him to retrieve it, you just placed them in the bottom left drawer of your dresser in case something had ever happened where he was in need.

And that scenario just so happened to play out today.

You close your eyes as he casually slips his pants off in front of you. You want to peak but choose not to. ‘‘ Why are you covering your eyes? You’ve seen all of me before.”

And you want to see it all again.

‘‘ Yeah whatever. Im sleepy.’‘

You rub your eyes and let out a quite yawn. You can feel his eyes staring into you so you turn to face him while getting comfortable under the covers.

Jimin turns out the lights first and then the t.v. Pitch black just how you like it.

‘‘ I forgot how cute you can be.’‘ He shakes his head, pulling you closer to him to where you’re laying on his chest with his arms wrapped around you.

His heartbeat is relaxing to you. So relaxing that soon enough, the both of you are fast asleep tangled in each-others love.

Once again, you fell for his sweet-talking and little white lies. All because you want another chance, one last time.

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