#im much better abt responding to Dms there

[fadewalking]

im high and feeling sentimental so i just wanna say hello to all my new mutuals and also that i already love you guys <3 ok that's it bye

[itsalwaysdark]

i am okay tho i just have momeys sometimrs . please do not ever worry abt me guys

[cadaverre]

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈ the swords are drawn, they really are

JUNO ☆ they/them (i dont mind she/her) ☆ minor (xv) ☆ bisexual ☆ cancer sun, libra moon, sag rising ☆ intp-t ☆ aus ☆ either a celestial god or a pebble ☆ anxious mess ☆ i change my theme way too much ☆ sparkling water > regular water ☆ in love with piercings and wants all of them ☆ professional procrastinator ☆ a humanities/arts/music girl in a science/maths world ☆ dont know much abt society but i know i hate capitalism ☆ wouldnt survive a day without spotify ☆ free palestine!! ☆

LOVES ⭑.ᐟ - literature, the arts, queer culture, astronomy + astrology, witchcraft, feminism (no terfs allowed!!!!), cold drinks, miniskirts, doc martens, dark red, nail polish, mascara, lipgloss, brie (always dreaming of cheese), pinterest, spotify, my headphones, the ocean, my grandparents house, spring+winter, fiddling around on the guitar, fantasising about being a famous musician, finding new music, snow, going to concerts, psychology, web weaving, learning languages (currently learning spanish and i want to learn latin!)

BOOKS ⭑.ᐟ - osemanverse, the hunger games, books by rhiannon wilde, tim te maro's subterranean heartsick blues, all the best liars, books by octavia butler (specifically parable of the sower and parable of the talents), the last true poets of the sea, acotar, the weight of the stars, the seven husbands of evelyn hugo, the picture of dorian grey, house of hollow, howls moving castle, harry potter (mainly marauders, FUCK JKR), i kissed shara wheeler, red white and royal blue, song of achilles, wings of fire, the secret history, crime and punishment

MOVIES + SHOWS ⭑.ᐟ - juno, dont look up, little women (2019), scream (i like most of them but 1996 is my fav by far), ladybird, barbie (2023), some of the mcu (thor and guardians of the galaxy <33), spiderverse (itsv is my love), gilmore girls, stranger things, loki, heartstopper, arcane, scott pilgrim takes off + scott pilgrim vs the world, mean girls (i love both hehe), dr who, percy jackson (the show, i um havent read the books), gossip girls, do revenge, my little pony, the bear, hannibal, we are lady parts, bottoms

MUSIC ⭑.ᐟ - boygenius + solos, taylor swift, glaive, brakence, paramore, ricky jamaraz, melanie martinez, lana del rey, ashnikko, girl in red, billie eilish, doja cat, big thief, adrianne lenker, ethel cain, mitski, remi wolf, cigarettes after sex, ericdoa, tv girl, clairo, the neighbourhood, bon iver, deftones, maneskin, courtney barnett, poppy, the smiths, american football, susannah joffe, renee rapp, mcr, the front bottoms, pierce the veil, gracie abrams, feeble little horse, esha tewari, radiohead, chappell roan, charli xcx

ALBUMS ⭑.ᐟ - the record, 1989 tv, around the fur, riot, three cheers for sweet revenge, all we know is falling, hypochondriac, girl with fish, doa, things with wings, punk2, songs, masterpiece, guts, lust for life, dykttatuob, punisher, stranger in the alps, i care so much that i dont care at all, collide with the sky, manic, badlands, folklore, trafoamp, k-12, crybaby, portals, this is why, ttpd + the anthology, hit me hard and soft, the bends, brat, the secret of us, home video

TALK TO ME ⭑.ᐟ - asks and dms are open for chatting/venting/whatever, i might take a while to respond ☆ i rarely follow people without an intro post/descriptive bio (with name, age group and pronouns especially) ☆ discord is astraeasparrow ☆ i dont currently have any trigger warnings tagged but just send me an ask/dm if you want me to tag something specific!! ☆dni: people who are: rude, racist, homophobic, transphobic, zionist, terfs, sexist, ableist, antisemitic

TAGS ⭑.ᐟ

#juno.txt -> ramblings, original posts

#asks -> asks ive answered

#ask bait -> send me asks!

#tag games -> tag games ive participated in

#beautiful mutuals -> interactions with my beautiful mutuals !

#spotify -> my music obsession

#junocore -> posts that are so incredibly mecore

#🩻 -> posts abt/for my fav

(im working on a better taglist with my moots tags)

SOCIALS ⭑.ᐟ pinterest ☆spotify ☆ carrd ☆ pronoun page ☆ letterboxd ☆ stats.fm

SIDEBLOGS ⭑.ᐟ @likeasugarcubeinateacup (notes app poetry) -- @sirenliight (short poetry + aesthetics) -- a close friends blog (you can ask for the url, i might say no) (im not that active on them though)

NOTES/UPDATES ⭑.ᐟ

☆ prev urls — astraeasparrow -> gu1lty-as-sin -> glcive

☆ last updated: july 10th 2024

☆ dividers by @plutism

thats all!! stay hydrated and have a wonderful day/night everyone <3

[glitterypopcorn]

introduction

haii!! i’m glitter!!!! you can also call me katya or roxy, especially if we're close!!! ヾ(๑╹ꇴ◠๑)ﾉ”

i go by any pronouns :3 he/she/they preferred, no pref between the three >_<

EDIT!!!!!!!! my social anxiety has been extremely bad as of late!!!!!!! if i dont know you and i reblog a post with a comment then say "sorry" or something for seemingly no reason it's because i don't want to bother you or make you uncomfortable!!!!!!!! i'm very awkward talking to other people who havent spoken to me nowadays so some things i say may be kind of weird!!! im sorry about this!!!!!

if i reblog a homestuck ship there's a high chance i just like the art, the only ships i really ship are qpr calliejaneroxy (+callieroxy, janeroxy, and calliejane), dirkjake, vrisrezi, and rosemary ^_^

click this link for additional info!

i'm a katya (pafl) and roxy (homestuck) fictionkin!!!! :DDDDDDDD

rogue of void!! my moon is derse and im a fuschia blood ~v~

no dni, i just block!!!!

i edited my pfp but @;nopanamaman drew it! lmk if you want any icon edits there's a chance i'll make one (๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪

art on the katya kin blinkies also by nopanamaman!! those blinkies r made by @eye-bleeding-arts >:3

art tag [multiple types of art] - #glitters creations

if i ever make you uncomfortable in ANY WAY please dm me! i won't get mad i promise ^_^ i'm always looking to better myself but i do make mistakes and forget things sometimes and im sorry about that

more stuff below the cut!! interests + such

CANDYLAND LINK (oc universe)

I AM A MINOR!!!!! please don’t be weird, thank you!

i have autism and adhd, both diagnosed!

CANDYLAND ASK BLOG @ask-candyland

my "main" blog is @glittersendsasks, it was my original blog but since i created it i've moved here. it was originally a roleplay blog for basil from omori ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;)  criiinge!

KATYA PAFL RP ACC @katyas-cool-account405

ANYA PAFL RP ACC (much less active on there) @beletskanya69

GRAPHICS N STUFF BLOG!! @cakemixedd

sorry i dont do copypastas/chain mail dont take it personally

likes: parties are for losers, homestuck (new interest, i don't know much abt it aside from what's in the comic itself), omori, the post-traumatic manifesto, welcome to night vale, in stars and time, evidentlyfresh, ferry, cotton candy flavored stuff, candy + other sweet foods, drawing, singing, bugs, isopods, and cosplaying!!!!! n my favorite color is pink

here's a link to music i like because i don't want to make this post too long!! i will probably forget to update this so it will likely be outdated if you're looking at it a month or more after it's posted

please don’t call me pookie, thank you <3

rbs > likes but do whatever you want lol idc !!

hearts meaning:

🩷 : romantic!!!! if i use it with you and i don't know you irl, i accidentally clicked it. i will probably notice this though !!

💚🩷 : platonic!!

💚 : platonic. usually only used when i want to send a single heart!!

<3 : depends!! if we're not partners, it's platonic ^_^

(o*・ω<)oﾟ.+:｡ﾟ.

by the way i’m burnt out currently and may not respond to asks/do things i said i would do. don’t take it personally >_<

also. i can only speak english </3 i'll use google translate if spoken to in another language so things i say might sound weird

[meatriarch]

overview cont. i guess lmao. no one asked but its been something in the back of my mind for a while now & i got an anon tonight telling me i come off intimidating and i feel the need to just. make note of some things so that hopefully if anyone feels a certain way with how i run this blog then like. know and understand both my side as well as that my dms / disc is open for anyone to pop into -- just obv depends on the headspace at the time.

i know this is long & am sorry if it doesnt make sense but. just setting it gently out there.

but, again, my disc ( same as my url ) is open for any mutual. its open to shoot the shit. open for plotting. open for memes. what have you. i may not always get to every message. i may not be in the headspace for certain things or certain energies. but its open for anyone as long as we are mutuals & if handles are different between here & disc then i just get a heads-up abt who you are so i know lmao

likewise, i am fairly fucking slow writing-wise and alot of that is because of offsite issues chipping into me but also because most, if not all, of the things i DO have in the inbox or drafts are from my affiliates at this time ( tho i do have some more from the archive i need to move over from a couple people ). alot of my spoons and drive to write and post is because of the dynamics and plotting built between our muses. im not a blog centered on plotting but, it does help to have a better idea on how to navigate between muses c: esp for those technically outside of my kiddos' texas canon obviously. that being said, anyone is welcome to like any inbox calls i put out there. and my inbox is always open and accepting, even if i havent reblogged prompts in a while -- i have my tag linked on my pinned and its available always & for whomever. it just comes with the understanding that i may take a while to respond to them & they may not get as expansive as some of my posts can get with my affiliates; which again, is just simply from how much we've been building together that helps with that!

on that note. my connections with my texas pals are very dear to me. both ic & ooc. as i noted in my overview post, i talk about the dynamics we've built openly and freely here because theyre so integral to my portrayals. they & their kiddos have my entire heart and i unapologetically love having fun with them and going on tangents with them and bouncing thoughts off of each others posts on the dash.

my experiences in other corners of tumby rp have not been particularly kind. and its been a long time since ive felt comfortable especially ooc with writing partners. and i understand if i may come across closed off or intimidating or unapproachable. i understand if i also come across partial to them / play favorites because frankly... i am. i do. thats because they've built bonds not just between characters but also with me. ill be very transparent and say that i am very particular in who i get close with and that translates into here too. but thats also just something that easily can also happen with literally anyone. again i do understand if i come across closed off in any sense but genuinely? im not scary and i have options open for continuing to grow more connections with people c: theyre open always. what im not going to do, however, purely out of personal experience is chase after interactions. the last fandoms i wrote in i did so and it wore me down into my last hiatus. i will show equal enthusiasm to whats given. but i wont fish for it, either. its just not my cup of tea.

i like to think im fairly patient and understanding in a lot, probably moreso than i should in some cases -- sincerely though if theres issues know that im fine with it being brought up. but im also not going to be welcoming nor tolerate my boundaries being disregarded or disrespected, im already dealing with that with an offsite friend. not dealing with it here. i do not like feeling so uncomfortable existing on my own blog or in my own disc. and i get that already with my personal disc & this offsite friend in particular. im not dealing with it here too.

which on that note, i also wont be receptive with issues regarding what i post, what i talk about, who i write with, who i choose as affiliates or mains or w/e. my blog & my dash are my safe & comfort zones and these muses often help me alot with navigating when my headspace is at a fucked up level. if any of that is a concern yes youre welcome to come to me and talk it over but end of the day? my comfort & mental state is a priority to me. if thats ever an issue i truly would just recommend you do what you feel is best for you. everyone existing on this hell-plane are entitled on curating their space in whatever manner they see fit.

again. i promise im not scary. im not an ass. but i do curate my space to be in my best interest and at my age & experience across the 10+ yrs ive been rping on and off here, ive seen alot, heard alot, experienced alot. i do apologize however if i do come across unapproachable or intimidating. i do apologize if i seem closed off to only a select few. i dont mind if you follow / we're mutuals solely just to keep up with what i write! thats completely okay too and i thank those who are <3 but if i seem unapproachable i literally just gently gesture again to my disc or prompts tag etc! i welcome any to get to know myself or my muses. regardless of how much time has passed since following one another. just again, comes with the understanding that my social battery & headspace often does work against me. and thats not personal against anyone, ever.

[commanderhorncleaver]

Trying to read up on as much Gaius lore as I can. Gaius having been a Gladium ks really interesting especially since he ends up becoming the Pact Commander later! In terms of interaction, Leo was never a Gladium, but he was a mere foot soldier nearly his whole life and he was always looked upon them more favorably than he should, just another streak added to his already existing empathy for things hes told he shouldnt feel that way for re: Ascalonian Ghosts. And often found himself conversing/spending speaking with them more then his own warband or ranked charr, as long as they were friendly enough to accept it. So! How would Gaius react if he was approached by Leo just for conversation? Especially if he had already known about the rumors of Leo being a bit of an outcast for being "Too soft" (Refusing to kill to gain ranking, especially if he can avoid it in missions, being too merciful) and spending more time with ghosts than charr? Since he grew up in the black citadel despite being Blood!🤔

(Oop realized this was a bit long, but im down for any sort of interaction even if its conflict! Im also adding a soft invite if this is too long and you would rather head to dms thats totally okay too! I love talking ocs, Gaius seems so cool from what Ive learned abt him) 🫡

FIRST OF ALL, I DO NOT MIND RUNNING LONG-- however this response is gonna run long too, and if you do wanna message on dms I'm more than fine.

I think it largely depends on when in the timeline of the game Gaius would learn about Leo, for the question of how he might respond to being addressed, and the like? Because Gaius has a very funny habit of attempting to "adopt" younger soldiers to "help get them on the right track"-- and where Gaius was indeed a gladium, he didn't much respect any gladium who wasn't actively trying to get back into active duty. He had this interestingly conflicting thing where even AS a gladium himself, he spent as much time as possible sleeping with ranked soldiers so he didn't have to be in the gladium's canton.

Gaius is/was very big on the idea of doing whatever it is one can to contribute as much as possible to their legion: he himself is not particularly capable in most Iron-typical subjects, but he's a great strategist, and takes his job so seriously it kind of works out because he's sort of allowed to do what he wants insofar as... he didn't have a warband for a long time and was mostly just overseeing engineer bands: with mostly paperwork and drills, he was allowed to be a justicier of sorts, doling out punishment for gladium and awols. He was proud of this.

SO the big thing to consider I think is like. How much is Leo willing to put up with some almost 50 year old trying to figure out a lesson plan in "being a better asset to my legion?"

Despite how insanely unflattering this description is, I don't think Gaius would actually find what Leo's up to as hugely disgraceful. I don't think he'd have ADVICE, but this is somebody trying to solve one of the Big Problems Iron (and the Legions at large) are dealing with: the ghosts. He might struggle to understand the point Leo's coming from, with empathy, but this is something more than worth the investment of attention. To note, Gaius circa Ghosts of Ascalon did not personally advocate for the Ebonhawke Treaty, he was adamantly "fuck the humans," however he did A) understand exactly the circumstances and issues as the charr are in the middle of a war on three fronts, and B) he will support his Imperator first and foremost--again, at this time.

FOR THE SAKE OF NOT RAMBLING ON FOREVER, I THINK IT'S A VERY INTERESTING CONCEPT, THE TWO OF THEM TALKING, AND BEFORE I CLOSE OFF, I DO WANT YOU TO KNOW: Gaius' daughter (born after IBS) has the exact same mission: I imagine her revenant magic allows her to literally channel the ghosts of the dead, including those of Ascalonians, giving them their memories and such for an extended period of time. Currently (as in when they first discover this ability of hers) they do not have an idea on how to refine or how she can make this permanent.

[m1d-45]

mans ruthless and only gets the way his master taught him how to be, just with a tad more shame and guilt

(what I mean by that it's that it's a emotional and social reset)

elaborate please

uh thoughts to put on paper- phone. screen. text? uh

yk how once we talked about how albedo would react if his master suddenly came back? how he'd be like "it's not my personal business to know what she has been doing, she was gone and now she's back that's all I need to know" when rhinedottir abandoned him

he responded devoid of emotion towards the subject like all his experience in learning and expressing feelings and his own thoughts stopped and he began at square one, with his master and him as a puppet (robot- synthetic being? but that's beside the point)

so then I thought about what you wrote with him and how he reacted in klee told him about the creator and he knew he was your creation not his master's bc you gave hwe the idea and he was yours

basically I feel that if he killed you and found out you where the creator he'd kinda. just. stop. he'd reset, for lack of a better word. he wasn't good enough to be yours (infact he killed you-) so how could he be good enough as himself? since him wasn't working out maybe he just needed to be what he'd always been. a tool.

- 🍄 (I send this bc this anon must know my thoughts but this was takes directly off my dms and I wrote all of this at 12:14. I colored it bc it seems fun- hi midas you're blue and the creator too)

context these are copy pasted dms between me and mushroom, regarding squid anon and i’s talks abt albedo! talk below the readmore.

oh, kaeya and klee are mentioned to not be on reader’s typical team(or at least not the one they use for commissions, if you use a separate team for those), and neither is albedo, who also isn’t on your main fighting team! or maybe he is and you moved him off because Memories. no other vessels specified, though.

god mushroom i am. we r holding hands rn im-

for context mushroom and i had a chat about how if rhinedottir ever returned he wouldn’t really see a problem with it, as mushroom said just a “she’s back now and that’s what matters, who am i to question her?” kinda deal. the paragraph with klee refers to the second part of abiogenesis wherein (again as mushroom said) albedo realizes that he doesn’t long to rhinedottir, and that he is your creation in actuality.

putting these two ideas together we get pain the concept of a mental reset. it’s as if he’s shot back years in the past, when rhine first abandoned him. except this time it’s worse, it’s so much worse, because he was the one that told you to go- he killed you. he ruined not only his own chance at being redeemed (he always knew he was a monster a threat a danger, khemia runs in his blood- an art born of hubris makes his synthesis hubristic as well, and here he is, icarus) but the entire worlds. who knows when—if?—you’ll return, after all? it took you eons before, when you had a godly body and almost of your powers. but now, now your body is human, now you’re weakened and he just ruined it. will you even heal by the time the heat death of the world comes for them? he doesn’t know. does he want to?

mushroom really put it brilliantly- “he wasn’t good enough to be yours, so how could he be good enough as himself?” and “he responded devoid of emotion towards the subject, like all his experience in learning and expressing feelings and his own thoughts stopped and he began at square one, with his master and him as a puppet.” like im on the floor head in hands mushroom take my blog

albedo 100% has this idea of his ‘utility’ being tied to his worth—have i mentioned my utter and absolute hatred for rhinedottir yet?—so this- like this fucks him up bad man. like for the first week he’s sitting in his lab, trying to work but unable to move, his mind running a mile a minute as his body just.. sits there. sucrose tries to get him to eat, klee tries to drag him for a walk, but he’s hollow.

rhinedottir only came back because he studied alchemy, because he followed her final wish, because he was trying and by some miracle his work was adequate. but you? how could he ever measure up to you? how could he fulfill a request you never posed? how could he live up to your death?

zoom out a bit. the world of teyvat is… stable, somehow, despite the death of its god having taken place on its soil. his machines still report steady ley lines, lisa doesn’t sense any change in elemental activity, and the winds in mondstat are as easy as ever.

why? simple: you still have genshin downloaded.

after your horrific hyper-realistic dream—it has to be a dream, dreams can be realistic right? it had to be, it had to be-—you had kept away from the game for a bit, but you never had the heart to fully delete it. after all… it’s still a fun game. still a wholehearted hobby of yours. still something you enjoy.

still something you love, even as your chest aches with a phantom pain.

after a week, you can think about dragonspine without feeling icy winds bite into your skin, you can remember mondstat with a fond smile instead of a quivering shake. and despite it all… you miss it.

who are you to dislike a game because of your mind, right? and besides, it’s been a week- you need the primos from your commissions at least, right?

and so, after just over a year, the creator’s presence returns to teyvat.

it’s felt as a ripple over the entire earth, the soil itself blooming new flowers as your vessels flicker to where you left them last. your game doesn’t show these, of course, and your vessels don’t notice, too caught up in a confused sort of excitement. the traveller is surprised a god could be so benevolent, and paimon is flying in circles with glee.

teyvat is… exactly as you remember, really. you pick sweetflowers and mint on your way to your commissions—all surprisingly easy, the enemies dissipating quicker than they normally would, but you shrug it off as just your time away. distance makes the heart grow fonder and all that, right?

squirrels and foxes run alongside your character, strangely, and you use your omni—ubiquity nets to copy a few for your teapot. there seems to be so much more detail- birds chirp, your graphics are unusually good, everything is running at a smooth 60 frames…

maybe you missed it more than you thought.

after some consideration, you decide to go to mondstat to collect your rewards. it’s unsettling, being inside a city you remember, but it’s easy enough to shake off. blanche talks about liyue being the largest commercial port. sara calls the day’s recommendation—the steak, as it is every day. marjorie stands outside her shop, and katheryne is at her kiosk.

all is as it should be.

zoom back in again. albedo is dragged from the knight’s headquarters by kaeya and klee, and he raises a hand to shield himself from the light reflecting off the stone. everything’s so… bright. the world seems unusually lively, yet the city is oddly quieter than normal.

“how about we take albedo fish-blasting, huh klee?”

“ooh! can we really?”

albedo is pulled into mondstat’s courtyard, and a minor smile flickers across his face at his sister’s enthusiasm. she pulls him past the fountain, past good hunter, past where the wind comes glory-

his feet freeze to the floor.

there, at the adventurer’s guild kiosk. there, the bright blond hair of the traveller, there, the smile from katheryne as she thanks them- thanks you for completing your commissions.

the traveller had been doing them on their own while you were gone, diligently handing the otherworldly gems off to paimon to give to you. but now… now he can see the bag disappear in golden sparks, going straight to you.

you were back.

another zoom out. you walk away from the kiosk, up towards the alchemy table—unaware of how closely your vessel brushes to albedo, of how tightly kaeya clutches klee’s hand, keeping her still. you go, and he sees you stop at the- at the alchemy table?

timaeus gives him a look from across the courtyard. he can’t bring himself to return it, watching your vessel until they vanish again.

if it weren’t for the hushed call of his name from kaeya, he’d think it never happened at all.

you’d only condensed one batch of resin, so you could use the rest on weeklies. after a cursory glance over your team—you missed this, you missed them—you decide which ones to go and fight, quickly falling back into your groove.

the bosses deal like half their typical damage, provided they even attack at all. really, you’d almost consider rebooting the game if you weren’t done with such easy kills. childe skips his usual taunts—you chalk it up to a glitch—and so does andrius, and the key line blossoms give you the exact drops you want.

resin spent, commissions done, and too drained for exploring, you decide to simply walk around. your memory of mondstat is sharper now, and you barely look at the minimap as you simply walk around. it’s different than in your dreams, and yet so similar.

with a quick stop at a statue of the seven to heal your team of any lost hp, you log out. you could have sworn you heard something whispered in the song of the main menu, but you shrug it off.

you suppose it’s gamer brain.

another zoom in. i swear i’m almost done.

albedo’s in a bit of a daze as he walks, only klee’s hand keeping him from running into rocks.

you.. had returned. to mondstat. and didn’t… you didn’t hate it? the traveller seemed upset when they’d looked over- but that was expected, and their emotions weren’t necessarily yours. but you, you had willingly chosen to collect your rewards there.

when they arrive at starfell valley, klee doesn’t even seem happy to launch her bombs into the water. she simply sits at the edge of the lake, watching the fish swim below.

kaeya sits with her, and albedo is on her other side, but looking at the statue of the seven. when you show up, he almost thinks it’s his imagination, until klee gasps and kaeya’s hand moves to keep her sitting on the bank of the lake.

the statue shimmers as it heals the small scrapes on your team, though you disappear again just as quickly as you appeared.

he stares at where you were, stunned again that he’d be able to feel your aura wash over him for the second time that day. as the golden dust of your teleportation falls to the ground, his empty mind fills with two words, a bud of hope beginning to bloom in his chalk heart.

‘thank you.’

[sttoru]

Girly idk how I wasn't following you still, tumblr isn't stupid, I'm sorry that you are feeling on the outskirts of the fandom as well. You are a wonderful person and writer, and I'm glad you’ve been growing as you have been. You deserve so much more love!! 💕

It does make me feel like there is something wrong with me or like in off putting when i see several big blogs talking to each other, boosting each other. But then I drop in, just say hi to be friendly, only to be ignored. When they are literally responding to various anons or other people.

It seems like they want to talk to everyone else but me. Which has me feeling like I'm in the wrong, I'm bothersome and unwanted in the fandom space. They don't have to talk to me, but my feelings are still gonna be hurt at being shunned by 90% of the blogs I try to interact with.

It does kill my motivation since I don't want to be seen as someone who just posts. I want to be seen as a friend and someone to talk to.

I understand that some people get along better than others. But damn so many people are having this problem it seems like. It's boiling down to popular blogs like other popular blogs, boost other popular blogs and they stay the main people in the fandom eyes whole everyone sits quietly in the side just wanting to be partly including

Feel free to rant right back if need be. Cause I get needing to get this shit off your chest, cause I sure as hell needed to

hiii feyyy !!! dwww, it’s all good :> thank u sm for ur nice words aaaaaaa u r as well, one of the writers on here that i respect 4 their hard work !

gonna vent a bit haha need to get some things off my chest too like u said;

i get ur first point!! it sucks rlly. especially when you are the first one reaching out (which takes a lot of courage, especially for someone socially awkward like me lol) and then it hurts DOUBLE because you get ignored. i get ittttt rlly. for me, i always try to reply ppl even if im a bit late because im either thinking of a proper response or am distracted or busy , but i never intentionally ignore anyone interacting with me. i know some ppl on here do bcs they don’t feel entitled to respond to comments or anons or whatev, which is like ? ok. but if it’s someone just being friendly and complimenting you / your work … it’s not hard to reply w a form of gratitude . some rlly think they’re celebrities on here and it needs to stop

and it’s understandable and totally valid to feel like you’re being shunned and unwanted by people you just want to befriend , only for them to ignore you / not interact with you but with everyone else :/ it sucks and ppl don’t seem to realise that it could hurt other’s feelings. i hope you know that you’re not unwanted tho! those people are just… idk, a bit weird (ofc im only talking abt people who INTENTIONALLY ignore others)

findjng a friend on tumblr with the same interest is like a chore. you either click instantly or you think you do, only for it to be fore 2 interactions max and then you go back to ignoring each other basically on dash

AND YOUR LAST POINTS!! so true. its that the more popular blogs just stick together and help each other out when ??? there are smaller blogs of writers / artists just sittng in the sidelines like ‘ok so what do i have to do to gain traction if the people with a bit of bigger platforms are totally ignoring me & my works’

it’s actually tiring. ofc, me having 3k followers — i am suuuuper grateful, not complaining much, but i also know how it feels. my notifications are super dry except for mainly likes, my dms are like a desert, inbox is 98% only of anons who drop requests and then leave without leaving anything else. no one to talk to, except for people who leave a comment every once in a while :/

like u may think bcs i have decent following i actually gain more interactions? not rlly. only likes & sometimes reblogs w tags. that’s all really, i don’t really have anyone on here who i consider a close online friend (as much as this sounds sad & cringy LMAOO) but its tiring to see everyone be so close to each other on dash while im on the side like ‘how nice it must be to get that much interaction’

& im sure there are people who r gonna say ‘just interact with them’ I DO and i either get left on read or they respond dryly / or i don’t get the same energy back. bcs sometimes im reluctant to reach out first because it always ends up w me taking the initiative & i end up looking desperate to get an interaction with a mutual LOL

anyways thinking abt this tumblr writing community makes my head ache bcs of all the things ive seen and experienced on here (also on my prev account which i had for 2 years)

[mikibwrites]

personal crap under the cut, massive tw for self harm and the thoughts that go along with that.

I wanted to apologize for my absence on here lately. I know you've seen me reblogging n liking sometimes, and i do enjoy coming on here when i have a couple extra spoons bc I love reading everyone's wip posts and the like. When i have even more spoons i try and go back and comment on things i've read and try to be upbeat but most of the time it feels like a lie (not the things i say in comments i MEAN those i definitely mean all the wonderful things i have to say abt your fic, it just feels like im faking a smile for the moment when im making the comment if that makes sense idk)

the truth is i'm not okay. i haven't been okay in....a long time. up until a couple of months ago i was pretty good at masking but it's like i've lost the ability to even do that. i go to work and do what i can to get thru the day. i come home and i barely speak. my husband worries, i know he does, but he doesn't know what to do. the other day at work i dropped a paper clip on the floor while trying to clip some papers together and my mind immediately went "you deserve to die a painful death". and i just thought....yeah. true.

i'm not going to do it. i know im not. mostly in life i tend to just hurt myself in ways that linger. burns. hitting myself till i bruise. stop eating. eat too much. things like that.

also i isolate. i isolate so much that i lose decades long friendships. just bc i can't find the wherewithal to respond to a message. and they end up thinking its their fault when its not. not at all. but then what else are they supposed to think when i essentially ghost them? when i have absolutely zero ability to keep up a convo even in DMs. if You're reading this (which im sure You're not bc why would you) Im sorry. I've thought about you at least once a day every day since you left. I honestly do not know if i could've done better. maybe i was always a piece of shit. You definitely deserve better. You don't want to know nor should you care what i did to myself after i read your last message. bc it is no way your fault and you should not feel anything abt it. but. yeah.

i'm talking abt this friendship i lost and i don't even know when it happened. it feels like it was yesterday. but i could have been years for all i know. time doesn't make sense anymore. i don't sleep. i don't take care of myself. i'm a shell. and yet i get up and go to work every day bc i will be homeless if i don't.

i don't even really know what i'm trying to say here. i guess maybe im trying to tell anyone i've befriended in any of my fandoms that im still here but im not like...here. and im not okay. not by a long shot. but like. i'm trying. also i see every time someone tags me and it makes me ache bc even if it's a copy/paste of a prewritten list, someone remembered i exist today, outside of what people need from me. i have given all of myself and my psyche to a job i used to love but now cannot stand. it's nice to feel acknowledged by someone who doesn't want anything from me other than to show me something they're proud of. it's nice.

so anyway. sorry for the steam of consciousness. i just. needed to say something somewhere. and also apologize for ghosting anyone. i tend to do that.

[dikiyvter]

       Okay yeah, I’m officially calling it, here’s a very light semi-hiatus / general v low activity notice for October, I’m just not in a mentally sustainable place rn and trying to keep up with things around here and lately I am VERY much feeling this vague weight of ‘I Owe Things’ in terms of rp in general which has become a major bit of a Stressor on top of everything I’m dealing w/ OOC-- Not to mention I will be on the other end of the country from the 24th -28th, and I need to make sure everything is prepared for that, and I just--

       I’m sorry guys but I feel like I’m drowning and I need to lighten the load

[fereldenshero]

g. gonna go take a shower ;___;

[starleska]

hi hi hi!! don't worry about taking a bit to respond- i got sick earlier this week which is why i didn't send in anything else for a bit either ^^!! and i am glad to see you back after taking a bit of a break, i hope things will contine uphill from here <3!! lastly i hope i didn't make you uncomfy sending you a dm, but it was the only way i could send a clip of the king candy video TT!! either way, would love to hear ur thoughts on his voice HAHA

capitalists hitting different <33 i have an unhealthy amount of ideas about flintheart glomgold, funniest part being is that he's still completely insufferable and also a total creep LMAO gyro gearloose is soooo gooood though, very valid taste! he's just so MEAN and i get that that's the point but STILL HAHAHAHHAHA u should totally rewatch it it's soooo much fun!!! and lemme know if/when you do :')!

!! the dark path you mention is so interesting!!! the losing touch with their sanity part oooo… i think king candy actually wouldn't feel as bad about being the cause of that because it's making you pay more attention to him :')! and especially when you look up things online and you just can't find ANYTHING about this guy ANYWHERE no matter how hard you look, it just kind of pushes you deeper down the rabbithole- and just weekly visits turning into daily and <33 im thinking of you somehow hiding (maybe in the bathroom or something?) and so staying behind closing hours and actually being able to see characters doing Closing Hours things and you just become convinced you've completely lost it LMAO would give u the opportunity to have a direct conversation with him though! if i do end up making a b log i will let you know :') im a bit nervous to cuz when i look in selfship tags i mostly see really sweet n wholesome stuff while i quite have a preference for yandere and stuff like it haha

it's just because i loved the original so much that i was disappointed in the sequel </3!! oh well, that's how it often is. im kinda hoping we'll see some of the characters in something like the new dreamlight valley game cuz i think sugar rush's natural environment would be pretty cool to see in there :')

i'm just glad you've been enjoying chatting <33!! awww you don't have to apologise for being a monolingual /lh HAHA i'm also just a person that's particularly fascinated with linguistics and languages, considering im studying stuff like that n wanna do a master in professional translation lolol again, would love to hear ur thoughts on it! the translation is pretty faithful so i don't have much to say abt that specifically - sweet anon

aww noo!! i'm so sorry you were sick sweet anon, are you feeling better now? 💔 and thank you very much - i desperately needed that break and am doing much better now, thank you 💖 i know we've chatted since you sent this ask but please know i'm never comfy with DMs! as long as they're not like…hateful or overly familiar, i'll always let you know if i'm uncomfortable 😂 his voice is wonderful!!

you get it!! i'm always down to hear about terrible capitalists, especially when they're extra creepy 😉 GOD thank you for not judging me…i think my tastes have gotten a little more unconventional over the years, but Gyro's a classic dreadful nerd 🥰

aww yes yes yes!!! you slowly losing contact with your real life and becoming totally immersed in the game, people irl are wondering what's happened to you, and you feel like you need to get help…ahh, i get what you mean about being nervous!! i'm quite picky with who i engage with in the selfship fandom because there can be a lot of aggression over what people enjoy. i'm a big yandere fan myself, and need you to know there's no judgement here!! just have fun 🥰

i'll finish off the rest of the ask in DMs!! thanks so much for sending this in, it's very sweet of you - no pun intended 😭😭

[cyancherub]

wait…! by ig men…do you mean you were sliding into these guys dms?!

if so you are truly a brave and glorious individual and i have inSANE respect for you! (i will say boys on hinge are of slightly better quality than the tinder boyz — at least in my area LMAO).

but feel you on having any kind of relations with ppl you knew /knew of from hs…like i cannot imagine having a convo with any such individuals because i am so diff from hs to now (thank goodnesss). and they all have this perception still that i was quiet and shy, when in reality i stayed quiet bc i mostly wanted to tell them how much they annoyed me LOL. and my mom taught me if i have nothing nice to say then best not to say it at all 😌.

(also i feel like majority of ppl i went to school with peaked in hs…and we all know what that says about them 😵‍💫🥲. )

anywhos TLDR GOOD LUCK ON THE ON THE TINDER HUNT!!! 🍀🍀

HI RIN!!! OKAY it wasnt precisely me sliding into their DMs..,,this is kinda a long explanation but ill explain whats been going on in the dating scene since my ex and i broke up HEHE

so when i was with my ex i never really had IG just bc i didnt really.. keep up with people? that relationship was a bit isolating bc he was rly my only friend. but i made it after we broke up bc i felt very lonely u kno??. so i followed some old friends from hs and some ex coworkers from previous jobs, and some guys ended up adding me that ,, had tried to hit on me before but i was never single so i never took them up on it u kno! but yeah so these guys slid into my DMs usually responding to stories id post. so thats how the last six guys i talked to came about so to speak.. but centipede man was the only one who actually FOLLOWED THRU after saying he wanted to meet in person??FDKL the ratio was not promising!!! but tbh i wasnt super into most of the guys that dmed me i was just starved for attention FDLKSLK so i responded to most of the ppl DMing me.........

BUT YEAH!!! THANK U FOR LETTING ME KNOW AB HINGE perhaps i may try my luck on there HMMM!! because YES its kind of awkward to talk to ppl from hs especially like..centipede man was a popular guy bc outgoing etc and im pretty sure he still keeps in touch with a lot of ppl from hs SO ITS LIKE.. what if the whole school finds out HEJFSJ I DONT KNOW i dont think hes gonna tell bc hes chill IT JUST FEELS A BIT ODD TO STILL BE IN THAT BUBBLE??? LIKE WHY AM I WORRIED ABOUT HIGHSCHOOL GOSSIP WHEN I GRADUATED SO LONG AGO I JUSTKSLDKLFL. what is this. I THINK I NEED TO VENTURE OUT!!!

BUT OMG HELLO I FEEL U SO MUCH ON THE SHY QUIET VS NOT WANTING TO TALK TO PPL QUIET. i am the same way in person. WELL.. not completely true bc i do be having crippling anxiety sometimes FLSDKL but in hs that was also the case with me i kept to myself!! ALSO IT IS PERTURBING TO REALIZE SOME PPL PEAKED IN HS LUCKILY THE GUYS THAT DMed ME ALL SEEMED TO BE DOING PRETTY OKAY FOR THEMSELVES!!otherwise i would have been sprinting in the other direction deargod..

BUT THANK U FOR THE LUCK!!!!!!!HEHEHE I WILL BE POSTING ABT ANY EVENTS.. ITLL BE LIKE A LIL GOSSIP CIRCLE ON MY BLOG

[noxiatoxia]

hi its me the dead anon and i would like to share that maybe 2 nights ago i was up rlly late. and i was figuring out what i was going to write back to ur last response to my other ask when i got really tired

in my strange sleep deprived state i was hit with 'inspiration' and opened google docs. within a matter of a couple hours, from 1-2 am, i wrote a pages long fic where kaoru kills himself and hikaru was so upset and made myself cry so hard i passed out.

when i woke up i looked at it and it really wasn't that good?? but at the same time it was and it made me cry again so. theres that. if you were wondering what ive been doing instead of responding

anyway very sorry about dying. ive really wanted to send u asks but ive been stressed out so im not great at coming up with hcs. very uninspired (besides my weird kaoru suicide fic but. yk)

maybe this says something about my current mental state. maybe not. idk

NOOOOOOOOO HAHSJSOKDFJ I SHOULDNT LAUGH BUT THE IDEA YOU WOKE UP FROM A HALF AWAKE DAZE AND WERE LIKE "FUCK I GOTTA WRITE KAORU KILLING HIMSELF" CRIED, THEN PASSED OUT IS SUCH A FUNNY MENTAL IMAGE.

But like I GET IT!!! same shit happens to me. I'm about to sleep but inspo STRIKES and I HAVE to get it on paper. It actually happened last night... Idk if I'll turn the idea into a full fic I'll post but it was a comedic concept nonetheless

The idea of one of the twins dying always kills me bc it's like... SO fucking sad.... the heartbreak is too much for me... i like happy endings... But like, I get it. Sometimes you just gotta write super depressing stuff. I have before.

The idea tho of one of the twins having a nightmare abt the other dying... Oughh. Like some super vivid nighmare that has one of them bolting up in bed panting on the verge of tears, immediately seeking the other twin and hurriedly waking them up to make sure they're still alive.

Like for example, maybe Hikaru waking up a month after Kaoru had his really bad depressive episode that scared the shit out of him. In his nightmare though...things don't have such a happy ending. And Kaoru does what he worried so much about every night in that dream, and he loses his little brother, and it feels so real.

Hikaru wakes up with a really startled jolt and is on the verge of a panic attack. His first immediate course of action is to turn around and nearly shake Kaoru off the bed, panickedly saying his name.

Kaoru of course wakes up sleepy and confused, barely awake as Hikaru begins to squeeze the air out of him with a bear hug. He's mumbling some things Kaoru can't piece together in his tired state, but Kaoru can tell he's really upset...so he just holds Hikaru and sleepily mumbles some reassuring things to him, and it does make Hikaru feel better, just to hear him alive and well...

Also since I'm a sucker for close physical affection between the twins I like to think Hikaru sometimes kisses Kaoru on the cheek. He did it more when they were younger, but he still does it I think under special occasions. I think this would be one of them... He was just so broken up in his dream and it scared him so so badly, so as Kaoru is stroking his hair lazily and sleepily murmuring reassurances to him, Hikaru sniffling as he's trying NOT to burst into tears, he kisses Kaoru on the cheek. Kaoru makes a small confused noise because he isn't expecting it, but he gives Hikaru a kiss back. He basically ends up passing out after that bc he's barely awake as is but Hikaru stays up long after that, holding Kaoru and just listening to his steady, deep breaths and resting heartbeat. Just taking in the fact his brother is still here and alive.

He eventually falls asleep once dawn begins to filter through the curtains.

Also it's okay for not sending asks!!! Life is tough and busy. Your health & happiness is far more important!!! I really love your hikakao and ouran asks in general they are my day's highlight. But I'm here if you just want to send general asks about whatever :) DMs are always open too!

[hematomes]

you have to imagine the identity crisis i had when i got a post notif that just went "YOU DON'T LIKE SOUP???"

(very sad to hear people, in fact, do not like soup. but to those i say, Child. Only Once The Weight Of The Years Start To Weigh You Down Will You Be Enlightened; The Human Soul Is A Thing Fragile And Cold Like A Sculpture Of Ice. Soup Is The Remedy To The Soul's Self-inflicted Ailments)

anyways guess what. classes got canceled today so not only are those tests postponed, but i also have time to write that essay. i honestly believe your good vibes blessed my entire week

ok but h o w do you know my forehead looks smoochable hmm?🤨 do i have to check for cameras

omg xiao is an aries... tbh i just realized I've never looked up any of the character's charts which is pretty weird lol (but i mean. morax is pretty dom-able. not as much as xiao tho)

fake studying idjsjf what a mood. im glad you had fun yesterday it's good to hear you took the time to rest<3

i didn't get sick but i didn't get anything done anyways bc i felt Weird hfjsjf my arm hurts but otherwise im good✌🏽

hhh stop what if i fantasize about a romantic encounter with you at the grocery store, ced. what then.

also this time im really tempted to show you The Fit but im too nervous to dm you (plus i like our little letter-like situation) SO what if i sent an ask off anon and you could reply on this one (that's so fucking roundabout im sorry😭)

ZKDKZKZ 1st reason why i defend soup now is bc of you tbh 🙄🙄 no homo tho (full homo)

(ALSO DAMN THAT'S BEAUTIFUL... and also true, now istg nothing tastes as good as soup in the middle of fucking finals, gives me the warmth i need to not off myself)

WOOO WHAT GOOD FUCKING NEWS hope you took time to rest? my class today sure as hell wasn't canceled but i skipped bc i couldn't get out of bed im cool like that

i just know it in my heart and soul, don't even try me it's a gut feeling

TBH I WAS once motivated to try and hc characters' big three but i gave up essentially bc im too lazy (fair enough,ngl.)

ZKDKZ how's your arm rn? i can kiss it better <3 (ced stop being gay on main challenge)

then fantasize abt it and maybe one day the gods will grant our mutual wish duh

1st off this is adorable, once again very smoochable

then if you're too uncomfy/shy, you can send me links!!!! i received some pics that way so 👀 and if you want you send me one ask with the pic linked, then another to which i can respond, that way ill be the only one seeing The Fit 🙄 (wdym i wanna be privileged? smh)

[hamphobicbasil]

different anon, as someone who technically is still a dsmp fan (although at this point i consider myself more a fan of some specific streamers who happen to be on the smp, and haven't watched a dsmp storyline stream since january), everything you said makes complete and total sense. i don't fully agree with every point made, but i agree with most of them, and honestly that -- combined with. y'know. actual person dream being revealed to be... Like That -- are probably main reasons behind my growing disinterest in the server itself. i still really like some of the creators, but. the story's degradation combined with some of the creators i don't like getting steadily worse... i really don't care about the server anymore.

but as someone who has kept up with the more current stuff, i can just say that. basically everyone is cheating off of wilbur's storyline homework in some way or another. quackity's current thing with las nevadas is being regarded as him "drawing parallels" between him and wilbur's character arc, and with wilbur being revived it's being seen as him being a character foil -- i do not think these people know what a narrative foil is, because it's not just a carbon copy -- but in all honesty he's just doing pogtopia wilbur v2. the egg arc has been "resolved" technically, but it less got resolved and more just petered out and died pathetically after a genuinely really good stream (red banquet) where they set up interesting things. it's just. done now.

techno seems to be incapable of allowing his character to develop whatsoever. he never lets his character suffer, never lets him hurt, and even outside of the monotone acting his character never loses anything. he's invincible and that doesn't seem set to change. even now, when he got tricked into being trapped in the prison, he made it clear that his character isn't even remotely bothered by this. does he have a plan to escape? maybe, although if he does it's gonna read as a shoddy deus ex machina because he didn't set anything up aside from "press this button and i teleport out." did he know he was being trapped? it's not clear, he might've known or he might've been just incredibly stupid. it's boring. he's less a character and more a brick wall with a rocket launcher.

and i feel bad for tommy The Person, because he's clearly gotten stuck in a bit of a content mentality. he got a big reaction from his character suffering in pogtopia, so he did the exile arc. the exile arc got a big reaction, so he did more similar things. it feels like he's gotten stuck in the mindset of "the fans like angst, so i need to continue to just endlessly torment my character with no purpose or goal." his "death" had even LESS permanence than wilbur's, because he got full on revived two days later just so his character could be traumatized some more.

the server is somehow simultaneously too ironclad in its story (not leaving room for others to jump in with ideas like a rp should, such as eret wanting to return in the pogtopia arc, or the egg plot being just ignored) and way too open ended (no clear rules or laws, lack of communication between people -- the "villain" team on the january doomsday showed up a whole 30 minutes earlier than the scheduled time without telling anyone, seemingly because "war isn't fair." those streams are an absolute disaster.) it's a little disappointing because some of the people involved are clearly talented; wilbur is a decent writer, although clearly more suited to a dungeons and dragons DM type of medium, many of the streamers are pretty good actors and not horrible writers / could be better with practice, and some of the newcomers, like ranboo, clearly have experience with roleplay character-driven storytelling and are very good when they're actually given the chance to do things. the whole thing is really disappointing, all in all.

sorry for rambling so much. tl;dr, you're absolutely right, it's disappointing as hell.

sORRY for not replying to this sooner- i read it earlier and completely forgot to respond

added a read more just in case this was a bit too long!

BUT UR ABSOLUTELY RIGHT ON ALL OF THIS- and speaking of "drawing parallels" with characters, i feel like its become a MAJOR crutch for the writers lately. its not only in universe with c!tubbo being compared to c!schlatt or c!quackity being compared to c!wilbur, it extends to myths too. i find the whole c!tommy = Theseus thing and whenever techno starts writing to be sorta a "get out of jail free card" yknow? they don't actually have to write their own plots or characters, just mimic that from myths and legends and i dont think it gels well with wilbur's somewhat original plot [i understand it was just minecraft hamilton, but it had some charming stuff in there yknow?]

and god yes you put my problems with c!techno into words beyond his voice acting, i don't want to imply that he's written his character to be invincible [or the olden term, a "gary sue"] but god it certainly comes off that way. i get so confused when i see people say "oh c!techno has been hurt over and over again!! why are things so terrible for him?" when he got "betrayed" once and that's it, its just so stupid and i cant understand the love for his character

and speaking of tommy, i totally agree. i dont mean to speculate on the kid's mental health since that's mega weirdchamp but combined with the constant angst his character is in plus his recent bad run ins with twitter, i hope he's doing okay. and on a side note, i hope his character gets to have the happy ending he deserves because man. Man.

BUT I HAD NO IDEA ABT THE EGG ARC KINDA BEING WRAPPED UP?? thats so disappointing oh my god. i'll read into it more since im curious about how it ended but god the fact that it sounds like it didnt have a bigger ending is just. wow. the annoying green man villain with no real motives and less of a stage presence gets all this hype and a bigger "ending" [yknow, him being sent to jail] than the eldritch creature that was growing throughout the smp?? wack.

i think one of the bigger problems of the dsmp story is just that. wilbur introduced some basic ideas and basic world stuff and instead of expanding on it gradually in a satisfying way, the new writers just went ham and didn't know what made the original so enjoyable, even tho it was, again, minecraft hamilton. i've seen some people claim that the new writers are better at precise intense moments but i heavily disagree with that, but thats probably because a lot of them involve dream yelling for his acting and i cant take that man seriously even in character.

but yeah, youre absolutely right on everything you've said here. they basically went "hey can i copy your homework?" with wilbur and somehow made things worse