#im more on the aphantasia end of things

[reitziluz]

god damn shit fuck hell

it will have to do i can't get everything exact when i nearly freehanded splitting up the vest in the first place

four last ring straps left. the ones in the neckline. might fiddle with them some more, try and get them to hide some of the uneven mess (tho i might try and cover it up with other decorations instead), but then it'll be the relaxing and straighforward job of sewing and turning the panels.

but i need to eat first.

[dollescent]

𝖿𝗂𝗋𝗌𝗍 𝗌𝗁𝗂𝖿𝗍 𝗌𝗍𝗈𝗋𝗒𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾 ‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.

08/04/23

so, i was in sleep paralysis (keep in mind i have sleep paralysis with my eyes open always), and i wasn’t panicked or anything because I’ve been experiencing sleep paralysis since i was like 10 (it doesn’t happen really frequently anymore though). so i was honestly just thinking to myself, "should i try to LD or AP?" so i tried to AP and it wasn’t working for me (for some reason i was in pain??), so instead, i decided to try and shift. also i had never even considered the SP method for shifting before so this was all so crazy to me.

so for some background, i was previously having a dream where i was running away from something but i felt myself entering SP and I could barely move in the dream. so i wanted to shift to a reality where i was able to run away. so i started to visualize myself running in a 3rd person POV. and it was crazy because i have aphantasia, so i usually don’t see anything when i visualize but this time i literally was able to!!

this was so trippy too. but i visualized myself zooming into myself that was running, and began to visualize in first person. once i did, i was going through a “tunnel” with red and black lights. i cannot describe it and i was kind of scared but yes y’all, i shifted with my eyes open!!

so i just keep on affirming that I’m shifting and once I get to the end of the tunnel, my eyes in my DR were already slightly open but they widened when i fully shifted there, but my vision was a bit blurry (i could tell that i was napping in this reality). it was so crazy like, it was just like this reality, in fact it felt even more realll. please don’t give up like it is so fucking worth it.

when i shifted, didn’t have a specific DR in mind so i don’t know where i’m at but it’s so crazy cause i just get this feeling that i’m at my cousin’s place. it looked so different but it was really nice. So I was sitting on the couch in the living room and i stand up to go look around for other people. (also i felt so heavy at first y’all) but I walk past the kitchen and there is a balcony facing outside and I see all my family on the balcony.

something things that were different,

❀ my dad was holding a baby girl and i could feel that she was my lil sis (is this reality my parents stopped having kids like 9yrs ago and i only have 3 younger brothers)

❀ there was this family friend named gilliana that was there, never seen this girl before but she was chill. also i just knew that was her name.

❀ my cousin had a different hairstyle, his hairline was botched low key 😭😭☠️☠️☠️

❀ my cousin and aunt’s apartment was way bigger and on the first floor, and my uncle wasn’t there. there was also sm furniture in the living room but the place was sooooo nice!

so the balcony was on the first floor facing the courtyard and that day that there was a food truck there that had cameroonian food. it looked and smelled so good!!! the poisson braisé (braised fish) had me damn near drooling. my mom told me “c'est trop cher” which means, it’s so expensive in french. but I was like idcccc i’m getting a plate! And i wanted to, but took a step back and i shifted back. also ik 100% that it was a shift because i never dream in french, even though im bilingual.

why I shifted back,

❀ i kept on wondering on whether i was acting natural or not because i felt a little, idk how to express it but a bit out of it? and i didn’t want them to think i’m behaving differently

❀ i also kept thinking about my cr lmao and I realized that i would really miss my family here if i were to permashift, which is a feeling i didn’t know i had

❀ i also was not very grounded lol, and i wasn’t there for long, just 5min

some tips and words of advice,

❀ ps, feel free to ask any questions

❀ whenever you have a dream, just tell yourself that you had shifted instead, especially if it’s about your DR

❀ WBTB METHOD YALL!!!! anytime that i’ve lucid dreamed, nearly AP’d, and have had the most vivid dreams, it has been when i incorporated this method. and i do it so habitually. like my friends always joke abt how i sleep in 2 parts

❀ make shifting a lifestyle. now i’m not saying to revolve your life around shifting, but when i started incorporating reality checks and affirmations in my daily life (it literally all takes 10s) it has become a habit. because before, i would never think to try and shift while in SP

❀ honestly just believe in yourself, it’s harder than it sounds but you’re the only thing that can make yourself shift, even if you have doubts and frustrations, that’s not gonna stop yourself from doing SHITTT

❀ pls do not expect your experience to be like mine at all or compare yours to others. i have never heard of anybody shifting with their eyes open before. and also i didn’t experience any symptoms at all, which was not surprising because I never do

anyways hope this was interesting, xoxo ˚ ༘ .˚🌱୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ

[fipindustries]

not a question but basically any time i remember your art exists im looking it up and down and trying to take inspiration from it. your expression work is always top notch, and the way you depict faces is the perfect balance between cartoony and well defined

oh my god this is such an amazing compliment! thank you so much!

you know, i think this has been a long time coming. im going to take this as a chance to go in depth about how my style works, why i do what i do and how i do it. do keep in mind that none of this is me saying "this is the objectively correct way of doing art" but rather just how my own process works, what I like to see in my own art.

that balance that you speak of comes from a commitment to underlying structures. what im going to call the stylization sandwich

i start with a clear, well defined solid structure, i add whatever wacky cartoony features i want on top of it (none the less strongly tied and guided by the underlying structure) and then i refine by adding as many more realistic, grounding details i want, although you can go too far with it so i gotta be careful or ill end up with those shitty "cartoon character IRL would look scary!" clickbait drawings.

(quick aside, this trend fucking sucks, its obvious the artist went out of their way to make the drawing creepy, this pretension that "actually the character would look scary irl" deliberatly misundertands the principles of stylization, its as creatively bankrupt as jokes about mario eating mushrooms)

getting back on topic, the point is that, as long as the underlying structures are solid you can build whatever you want on top of them and it will make sense

a key tool here is internalizing the way the proportions on the face work. and i say internalize because obviously i dont actually have the golden ratio memorized inside my head nor do i stop and measure and calculate all the proportions in the features. i just read a lot about drawing, i drew a lot, i tried to always keep a critical eye to what im drawing and see if it "feels" disproportionate. once you get an eye for it then you know how far you can push things before they complitely break

let me give you another example of what i feel is a botched execution of this.

if you look closely at the face on the left there are a lot of things that dont make sense. the corners of the eyebrows dip down into the eyes when usually the eyes are enveloped by the eyebrows, the way the beard grows around the nose is just not how facial hair is distributed, the mouth is too big, etc. on the left i used photoshop to reorganize the factions into something that makes a bit more sense to me

(another quick aside, the real big problem at the heart of the original drawing were not so much the proportions but the tangents, when different lines touch each other like this that is usually a big no no but that is a topic for another day)

also a lot of it is just me cheating. yeah i cheat. you ever heard how people say there is no innate talent and its all practisce and hard work. well, yeah, that is mostly true, but is also true that some people are born with inherent advantages. either taller or more predisposed to being thin or with better facial structures or better innate hand-eye coordination. i was born with an uncanny capacity to visualize stuff. i have whatever the opposite of aphantasia is. i can borderline hallucinate things if i want to. and that goes coupled with the visual intuitions i developed through practisce and training.

so first come the learned wisdom, and then comes the innate talent that helps me exploit that learned wisdom to its full potential

on top of that is corporeality, i try to draw in such a way that it conveys depth and weight to the things im drawing, certain kinds of stylizations dont care about that and choose instead to have their drawing look flat, a classic one is the UPA style

is a very fun style! very cute, very dynamic, very expressive in its simplicity. it became very popular in the 60's and 70's. personally i choose to go in a different direction. i draw in such a way that if one were to turn my drawings into 3d models not a lot would get lost in the process.

whereas other artists....

...not so much

but yeah, ultimatly it all goes back to underlying structure. any drawing can work

as long as you have a strong foundation underneath.

PS: if you like my style i cannot reccomend enough the art of @rezuaq i feel they follow a lot of the same principles i talked about here but i could be wrong.

they have been my biggest inspiration as of the last 4 years, i shamelssly stole the design of one of their characters for jennyffer. go to their blog and give them a like

[limbus-limousine]

Do you have design takes on Kromer, Knauer, Alfons, and Frau Eva. I'm dying to know

Okay first and foremost I apologize because this kind of turned into an essay but like❤️

When it comes to Knauer and Alfons, honestly, I don't have much of a mental image???I have aphantasia, so it's hard for me to imagine appearances from only text and usually stick to specific representations of them, limbus designs are like super ingrained in my mind but I do think of their book descs aswell. Mostly I'd say Knauer would be physically similar to Sinclair to some degree, but their main differences lay on face, eye shape and such. I usually draw Sinclair with round shapes, but then roughen him around the edges a bit (I make his eyes sharper, hands calloused etc). Knauer would look more soggy i think

About Kromer, I always try to make her look bulkier in a way?? Blocky and spiky at the same time if you will. I also love making her sclera a dark greenish hue, it makes her look like an animal being hit by camera flash a bit... I also lean more into her limbus character because I love how much more relevant she feels, I at least try to portray her in a slightly animalistic, scary way, in contrast to Demian with whom I also lean towards animalistic, but more like, sly??? If that makes sense, fox/snake like. Kromer to me is more feline (cat hunts bird uhu) but also insectoid, to represent that while she is scary and such, she lacks Demian's sly mystique and intelligence (in other words, the mark)

As for Eva, I imagine her very similar to Demian (obviously) although in my mind, both of them aren't super defined, the lines are blurry. I think I mentioned this before, but they feel to me like some kind of cryptid. I boost the "creepy/scary" aspect for them a lot, I think because I deeply resonate with Sinclair's more abstract view of love, it reads to me like he finds beauty in the grotesque, and I want to interpret that as nonchalance and even appreciation to something that is outwardly scary. Also going to the whole star symbolism... God, space is scary, but ohh is it beautiful as well.

It doesn't feel completely right to portray them as people sometimes tbh. They are more like masses of light and energy floating around to me. Demian to me represents camaraderie, guidance and a more childish (but still profound) love, while Eva leans more toward the whole mothery love thing, maturity, home, safety. But they are like, two ends of a spectrum?? Sometimes it will be an in-between of those shapes of love and feeling, is it Max or Eva?? Doesn't really matter, they give of the same light, same star... This is why I portray Demian differently as well, sometimes I will make his hair longer, face a bit older looking, etc.

IM SORRY this is really rambly and super long auughgg😭 I'm not very clear with specific design aspects but the way I see them psychologically really influences how I draw them... Thanks for the ask anyways!!! I love talking about these freaks mannn

[bioluminesced]

saw your last fanart (16 of january) and it's so good

it beats me how this kind of colouring/painting is done though. how do you pick the right colours? the right places? the value of colour and it's warmth?

i always have trouble with colouring because i have a very strict basic knowledge of shadows and colours and no visual imagination

sorry for such a long ask

hi anon!! no need to apologize this is such a kind ask and i still really struggle with this sometimes. i didnt start experimenting with color in my art until around summer of 2022 and before that it was so frustrating to color that i almost didnt produce any colored work.

i also have complete aphantasia so my visual imagination is very limited! this leads to a lot of trial and error in my work because i cant tell what looks good until i simply try it lol

i will try to answer about my process as thoroughly as possible! but a lot of it is seriously just vibes, and playing around. a lot of what helped me was studying how artists i liked used color in THEIR work and trying to work it into my style.

a lot of the vibrancy and harmony in my work comes from my base layer, which i put under the sketch like im “priming” the canvas. when im coloring later on i let this base layer inform my choices and also let it show through in places for unification of the colors. its a lot like doing an underpainting except i dont go crazy on the range of values

the hardest part for me is doing the base colors over this layer. i dont have a lot of guidance for this because i kind of just pick colors to start with and then edit them bit by bit until it looks satisfying to me/matching the intended mood and harmonizing with the base layer. i edit the colors mostly by using gradient maps and layer modes until i find a version i like and merge it to just create a normal layer with the colors i want. i keep this base layer underneath my sketch

i render on top of my sketch/lineart always so i can better define the shapes and have smoother edges. this is the part where i really go crazier with my colors - some conscious decisions i make:

- where can i make my highlights and shadows stand out more? i accomplish this by choosing warm colors on the cool base or cool colors on the warm base. theres blue in the flesh tones of the face and orange in the blue tones of the coat.

- where does the rendering need to be more “clean”? someone viewing an art piece will gravitate to places in the drawing with finer detail, so i put a lot more work into the shapes and colors of the faces and the fish, because this is where i want someone to look the longest

another thing i usually do is pick one really saturated color and place it throughout the drawing. for thos one its that bright red, around the eye, blood, and outline of the fish as well as the characters’ hands.

this part of my process takes me the longest and can be seriously frustrating at times! something i always force myself to do is to keep working on it. whenever im like ok its done! i go back and render for another half hour and it ends up looking a lot better

gradient mapping the final drawing! for further unification i have a gradient map i made that works for most of my warm pieces

and i put it on top with an overlay layer mode and then adjust the opacity

it makes a big difference in the warmth and unification of the final drawing!! so honestly i cheat a little with my colors :P

i hope this helped a little bit with your question! my general advice is to also do some color studies of movies or pictures you like it really helped me get a feel for harmonizing color (and not being afraid to use really vibrant colors!!) again thank you for such an ask and good luck to you!!

[cthonicascendant]

Questions 41-50 of ye olde question list~

Typing quirks and all caps below the cut.

41. Do you have a Headspace (if not, is there a reason)? «sort...of...? there's the helm (main fronting area), and then there is the rest of headspace, but we have aphantasia and are monoconscious median sooo it's complicated, as you will see.» - crow

IF YOU ASK ME, CROW'S MAKING A BIG DEAL OUT OF NOTHING. A MINDSCAPE'S A MINDSCAPE, AND JUST BECAUSE SEY CAN'T REALLY PERCEIVE IT DOESN'T MEAN IT DOESN'T EXIST OR IS "COMPLICATED". -BILL

42. What does your Headspace look like? «...you know what, i'm just gonna let mr shouty here do the talking, since apparently *he* can perceive headspace.» - crow

THE HELM IS THE COOLEST AREA BY FAR. IT'S BASICALLY A LIVING ROOM, AND BY THAT I MEAN THE ROOM ITSELF IS ALIVE! THERE'S THESE FREAKY TENTACLE THINGS CONNECTED TO A RIG THAT THESE SUCKERS HAVE TO USE TO CONTROL THE BODY, THE CEILING IS ORGANIC, MEMORY ACCESS IS DONE VIA LITERAL GRUBS. I LOVE IT UP HERE!

THE REST OF HEADSPACE IS BORING OLD SMALL TOWN, USA, AND I'M NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE IT MORE FUN BECAUSE THAT COULD POSSIBLY SCARE GRUB AND WELLSY IS A SPOILSPORT. WHAT CHILD DOESN'T LOVE FLYING EYEBALLS? - BILL

43. How do Members look like in Headspace? (example: Cartoony, Foggy, Realistic, ...) vve all look reali5tic for the mo5t part but a fevv of u5 can change our appearance or dont nece55arily 5ub5cribe to thi5 reality5 notion a reali5m in the fir5t place if that make5 5en5e - Void5ong

44. Is there a reason why the Headspace looks the way it looks? im pretty 5ure the biotech in the helm i5 the influence a all of u5 troll5 othervvi5e grub an harry take care a the re5t a head5pace 5o it5 vvhateVer they like or think i5 be5t - Void5ong

45. Is it easy for you to enter Headspace? alright 5o crovv and i cant do it Very ea5ily at all the other troll5 mo5tly find it ea5y glitch prefer5 to 5tay in the helm 5o i couldnt tell you hovv hard a time it ha5 goin into head5pace grub ha5 an ea5y time enterin head5pace but a difficult time enterin the helm harry find5 it ea5y both vvay5 - Void5ong

AND I PROBABLY HAVE THE EASIEST TIME OF ALL! YOU CAN'T SEE IT, BUT I'M POPPING BETWEEN THE HELM AND THE MINDSCAPE AS I SPEAK! - BILL

you look like a fuckin 5trobe light doin that cut it out vve already got a headache - Void5ong

46. Do you remember what happened in Headspace when you switch into front? nope - Void5ong

«also no.» - crow

THE REST OF US CAN THOUGH! AHAHAHA! ... HEY! >D THAT WAS RUDE. - BILL

«you started it.» - crow

47. Does time in Headspace pass (and if yes, is it at the same speed as in real life)? «we're pretty sure it passes at the same rate as time in the outside world.» - crow

48. What is your favourite place in Headspace? «i don't remember headspace, so. idk.» - crow

THE HELM. - BILL

49. Are there "NPCs" within your Headspace? WE DON'T HAVE ANY AT THE MOMENT, BUT NOW YOU'VE GOT ME WONDERING IF I CAN MAKE ONE OR TWO. - BILL

«my only concern is that you might end up making us another headmate.» - crow

50. Are there any interesting fun facts about your Headspace?

IT CONTAINS A PORTAL TO ANOTHER DIMENSION, WHICH IS HOW ██████ GOT HERE. I'M TRYING TO CONVINCE HARRY TO TINKER WITH IT A BIT, MAYBE SEE IF WE CAN HOOK UP TO SOME OTHER DIMENSIONS - THERE'S A LOT OF THEM! - BUT HE SAYS NO, THAT'S DANGEROUS, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH. I SAY HE NEEDS TO LEARN TO LIVE A LITTLE! THE DANGER IS HALF THE FUN! - BILL

«please do not open a portal to the nightmare realm in my head, please and thank you. :) » - crow

[kittycatcarla]

(possible rant under cut. might not be entirely related)

a recording a took earlier today. im not proud of it. the vocals can barely be heard but frankly that might be a good thing. not that the ukulele-emulated-on-a-classical-guitar sounds too good

yet my brain wants me to post this and since it's 1am i dont have the energy to oppose it

i've also recorded riptide on that same scuffed set-up. but i have to find a way to either sing more loudly or play more quietly or position my headphones' microphone differently. also i messed up the chords right at the fucking end on that one

not that i havent played C minor instead of C on a couple of occasions here too but that only drives the point further

but, y'know, at least with this i feel like im kinda getting somewhere

at least with music i have some past experiences. drawing was never my thing and im not surprised i didnt go anywhere with it this time

but i'd like to eventualy try it a bit harder again, at some point. maybe before i come to understand better my possible aphantasia (not fun btw)

anyway, there's some more songs i want to learn to play on he guitar/ukulele(even makeshift ukulele) so.. maybe expect them in the soon-but-not-too-soon future? idk. goodnight

[show-us-kaidenshenandoah]

someone give me a series where

the artsy character is actually the neurotic, anxiety-ridden one who catastrophizes; and loves art and doing crafts because everything is just simple, you just need to know how materials work (and even if you forget, it's not a huge problem), and you're good to go, so they turn to art to relax from the "ohmygod we could all die" thoughts. like the real world and all its tragedies/potential tragedies might scare this character, but they like being creative and imagining better worlds with happy endings as a way to cope (bonus if they have aphantasia whose dreams are forgetable periods of blackness, and they may have subconciously turned to art as a way to combat this lack of ability to visualize by "visualizing by hand" + their anxiety being too intense for their body to not repress the ability to dream) just have the artsy character also be the overthinking one who researchs everything yet also went to become "the type of art major where i dont have to research anything, really" but the character keeps researching anyway and their art profs/mentors keep going all "😍 i didn't know that!" and the artsy-overthinker like "?!! buT YOURE TEACHING ABOUT IT??¿? 🤯" (bc that is real situation that happens to me at least once per semester 😵‍💫) you can even have there be a gag about the catastrophizing like "it takes a lot of creativity to think up that many ways life could go terribly wrong!"

a free-spirited, lackadaisical character who is the STEM major because they find the beauty in everything, and they just function on vibes, they dont do research on things outside of their STEM-major-interest because "it'll be fiiiine" and they see their "research" on their STEM major as moreso "learning fun facts" than anything else. and this character just finds joy in enjoying the little "boring, cynical" things about the world (hence, the STEM major aspects) because they see these bits of knowledge as additive to the item's beauty beyond the surface-level aesthetic-appreciation (bonus if they are a lucid dreamer with hyperphantasia; and that part of the reason they prefer the "real world" as they can't seem to draw/create in ways that match up to what they imagined this art-piece's end result would like, so they get frustrated with doing creative projects either sometimes or often) and maybe the character "growth" here can reflect my little sister: who sometimes gets frustrated with art as a lucid-dreaming, hyperphantasiac biologist, but she does try and is succeeding more and more with her craft projects and has learned to use her hyperphantasia to "imagine something of her current skill-level that she can strive for" and i am very proud of her, her art is SO good and she's having so much fun nowadays

because that's me and one of my little sisters and im tired of the stereotypical binary having HER personality be the "a brain that could only ever do art, cannot do STEM bc it's 'boring' or 'creatively stifling' or 'there is only one way to do it correctly (allegedly) and i dont like that' or etc" one and MY personality be the one that "only has a mind for STEM; in art, would only depict nightmares, or would experience decision-paralysis, or would find creativity of lesser value than cold hard facts", like!!! you can switch it up, you guys!!

[chocosvt]

just finished reading HER, currently listening to The Writer by ellie goulding like you recommended– it feels like i just came to the end of a movie and the end credits are rolling while the song plays. frankly, i am speechless with how much this has moved me, so if any of this sounds incoherent, thats why. i've said this before and i'll say it again, her has made me realize so much about myself! i mentioned before in another ask i relate to wonwoo a lot, but seeing wonwoo's character not write anymore after meeting her was like, the final nail into the wall! i realized i haven't written all these months because i mostly write to get stuff out my system that i cant say to anyone.

 also 2 years??? oh my god. you're actually crazy for that (positively speaking, ofc) but i think that adds to how fucking good the fanfic is. i love how your wrote everyone, the main 2 characters aside- vernon's and mingyu's character stood out to me the most. the fact mingyu too could be going through similar identity struggles to her? oh and the way the whole thing is wrapped up, from vernon's voicemail to wonwoo deleting the unfinished book to him assuring her, its all SO GOOD!! im running out of adjectives as i type this, and my phone is currently on 3% as i do so, so i won't say more, but just know that you've impacted me so much!! and your writing and wordbuilding is just chefs kiss <3 <3 this was aphantasia anon btw, i feel like thats just my name now jshsjs, even though i make it kinda obvious who i am by exclusively liking your answers to the asks i send you💀 anyways, hope you have a good week 🐋💖

yes omg <3

i knew when i came to the end of the fic, i didn't want to go the route of wonwoo attaining his new relationship and then immediately being struck with the inspiration to write. i think that writing serves different purposes for everyone. it's still a craft that he loves and appreciates and sees the value in but he's now adopted a new perspective! deleting the story he wrote for jeanie was an ode to his growth. he's not letting things sit and fester any longer.

true!! there is still some ambiguity to mingyu's character at the end of the story, but we get the sense that he's most likely going through a metamorphosis of his own. having her confront & leave him was most likely an eye-opener for him, just like her argument w/ wonwoo was the push he needed to accept his bad habits. we know that mingyu likely sacrificed his true interests to go the easy route via connections that her's family offered, but in doing so he was sucked down a similar drain of losing himself/his identity.

i'm soo happy you enjoyed the fic 💕 and thank yew for sticking around & reading it to completion! it is much appreciated 😍

[totallyking]

i want to just go ahead and do this and im assuming this is about f/o not my s/i since we r literally the same person ykyk? cool. also i LOVE carebears my baby blanket is literally a 2005 carebears comforter.

long post under cut <3

❤️ - my love language is touch and gift giving! Luigis love language is acts of service and quality time :))

🌈 - im more likely to sit with him while he cries. a lot of times you dont need your problem solved you just need to let it out. and when you have a lot of stress like Lu does then you find that you have to do it often

☀️ - i am NOT athletic at all! im actually disabled and struggle to do much athleticism. My s/i is much LESS disabled but she still experiences fatuige and gets left out of adventures a lot. Luigi however is extremely athletic and honestly hella acrobatic

🌧 - Im more of a pessimist honestly. i try to see positives but its a lot harder than youd think. Luigi keeps me optimistic, though.

🍀 - Luigi is much more optimistic. opting to see the good in people rather than whats actually there. sometimes you have to keep him realistic and know when its time to walk away from someone or something.

🌙 - My dreams are hard to remember honestly (thanks aphantasia) but i know hes been in my dreams at least once. and even if i cant remember what happened i woke up feeling really giddy heheh

💞 - it was decently recently. ive loved him since i was a child. my mother used to always pick him in multi-player mario games (while i was a peach fan) and i grew pretty attached to him. but recently ive become obsessed and ive been obsessed with f/os before but this felt different. getting past the honeymoon phase is always the hardest but i think ive managed it! Id have to credit M&L: Dream Team with my infatuation with him rising as a kid :)

🧁 - The boys celebrate their birthday on the same day just one party. but its never a big party cause it stresses out Lu and if people dont show up he gets sad. The people hes friends with are just so BUSY! But something small just a friends and family party..

🌻 - We end up sharing a good ammount of friends! it didnt start that way being a princess makes it hard to have actual connections with people. so when you start to hide that you can actually make friends. but luigis friends are nice. the entire gang is super accepting too.

💫 - i dont have many things to wish for. When i make wishes they seem to get out of hand (much like wishbear herself) but to wish for anything would be that his flowershop would take off. its just a little hole in the wall next to his brothers shop for their plumbing business.

✨️🌈 care bears themed prof/ovember ask game ! 🌈✨️

tenderheart bear ❤️ - what's your love language? what is s/i's love language?

cheer bear 🌈 - how do you cheer s/i up when they're feeling down? are you more likely to want to solve their problem, or help them feel out the negative feelings?

funshine bear ☀️ - are you athletic at all? what about s/i? are there any outdoor activities you like to share?

grumpy bear 🌧 - who's more of a pessimist -- you, or s/i?

good luck bear 🍀 - who's more of an optimist -- you, or s/i?

bedtime bear 🌙 - tell me all about the craziest dream you've had about s/i!

love-a-lot bear 💞 - what moment made you realize that s/i was "the one"? be as detailed or vague as you want!

birthday bear 🧁 - how do you usually celebrate s/i's birthday? do you throw them a huge party with all their friends, or do you prefer to keep it between the two of you?

friend bear 🌻 - do you and s/i share a lot of friends, or do you both have separate friend groups you hang out with?

wish bear 💫 - if you could wish for one thing for s/i's sake, what would it be?

[weather-phenomenon]

like im not gonna regret not going to my uni graduation bc like i wont ever know what i missed n i dont hv friends who will be all like oh this is what you missed also aphantasia and limited ability to vividly imagine scenarios im not really going to be able to hypothetically create the scene. unless my sister graduates n i attend or i happen to attend someone's graduation later down. also we had a mini graduation like ceremony at the end of the internship n much like all my other graduation xps it made me want to die and this one i was pretty much completely unprepared for bc we weren't really told in advance what the closing ceremony wld entail so yh. i definitely know i don't want to go to my graduation and i really hope there will not be a fight about it istg if i have to find the cash n book a weekend vacation or day trip whatever to make sure im not in the country i will the biggest thing im not looking forward to is having to explain to certain few adults mostly family friends n idk whoever i may meet in the future tht i didnt go simply bc i didnt want to but truly the whole ordeal seems like a nightmare and based on prev graduation xps is a nightmare we hv to wear all white there are so many cameras and photos being taken on such days you have to get all professionally expertly expensively dressed up the long speeches make u self deprecation n self pity spiral not to mention the existential crisis you have to make sure u walk up on stage nicely dont fall look into the audience smile everyone is looking at u remember correct way to shake and receive after the ceremony it's even more crowded everyone is meeting and chatting and having fun with their friends the proof of you being a lonely ass loser is exacerbated and highlighted after the stress and anxiety and over stimulation of the event you just want to hide away n recollect yourself but everyone wants to see you jovial and get mad when you aren't and ahhhh it's all just no thank you surviving 3 yrs was enough

[tasteleeknow]

OH OH!! numbers 1, 3, 5, 6 for the ask game~ 🥰

hdsj thanks ti ♡

Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

smut with feelings. softness and love and then horny. it's what comes naturally to me and also i do just find it comforting, both to read and write. i like being able to reread my own fics sometimes and get some comfort from them. also happily ever afters always. sure the characters can suffer along the way but i need them to be happy in the end.

Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

honestly the only thing i can think of isn't exactly a trope but i HATE when all of the angst in a fic is just misunderstanding and it drags on and on. i'm literally open to all the things a lot of ppl don't want to write like hybrid and abo. i'll try anything but frustrating misunderstandings that drag out. never.

Share one of your strengths.

i think emotion/dialogue. it could be a lot better but i think it's what i'm best at.

Share one of your weaknesses.

i'm struggling to pick one because i'm a recovering perfectionist but i guess i'll say description. i feel like because i can't visualise things (aphantasia) it just kind of slips my mind and it's not until im reading other peoples work that i'm like damn... i should do that more.

40 questions

[kraviolis]

i wish i could project my thoughts into words that make sense together. its so hard trying to figure out what words to use in order to allow my thoughts to make sense to other people i want a speech to text program but thoughts to text.

[sealpup9]

Apparently part of this has to do with not just executive dysfunction, but something called Aphantasia, or the inability to visualize in your mind. So like, seeing black when you try to think about stuff.

Heres a fantastic thread about it.

The example they give is how when someone goes to make a PBJ sandwich, they know what thd sandwich looks like, they can visualize it, and then work backwards.

Someone with aphantasia can't visualize what "done" looks like when it comes to a task.

Another example they gave is how their child struggles to get ready for school in the morning because he can't visualize what "ready" is. To help, they printed a picture of him ready for school so he could visualize it, and it helped immensely.

When it comes to this, you could ask the question "How can someone be expected to prepare when they don't know what a finished product will look like?" Well, exactly.

If you can't visualize what a project looks like when it's done and have no examples, you just have a table full of tools and materials and no end goal!

It also explains certain things from a social aspect! If you can't visualize something like a birthday party, that might make you anxious because what will the party be like/feel like/where will it be?

The following thoughts are just my experience, but:

I wonder if this is part of why habit making is so difficult. You can't visualize it. You're blind to it. But I think this is also why habit forming is SO IMPORTANT. Going to the same location over and over again makes it easier for you to remember what things were like. So it's no longer "visualizing the future" and instead it's "remembering how things were." I feel like I try to rely on my past experiences to figure out the future more than i try to visualize the future itself based on just yknow. Being told something exists or being given a box of supplies and told to craft something.

Maybe this is why i love jigsaw puzzles so much. I don't have to visualize it, the image im making is right there, and i take comfort in completing it at my own pace.

Ofc, relying on past memories poses a whole nother issue with time-blindness- you might remember a location differently and it might freak you out. (Or suddenly something about an app you go on daily Changes™ and you have a panic about it).

I think the reason we're visual learners is because we are physically incapable of consciously visualizing outcomes. Whether its a situation or physical object or unit of measurement.

Another side note: I think this is why I took to art so well. For me, its more about process than the end-goal. But being in art classes taught me to do thumbnail sketches and force myself to make my own image to work off of and that is so useful.

Some tips for folks who are in my boat, aphantasia and ADHD and Exec. Dysfunction:

-don't just make a list, put it somewhere it will bother you or you will forget. Change the location slightly of the list if you need to, so it looks out of place when you walk in a room and you're drawn to it. Also, if it helps, make a list of your things to do tomorrow and leave it somewhere you will find it in the morning! (Like on top of your laptop, on the fridge, etc.) Maybe draw a picture if you want. Something to make it different and stand out and not just fade into the Everything Else™ like those unwashed hand-wash only mugs that are sitting in your sink right now.

-Try to force yourself to make habits. Even if it starts with 'when i remember'. You will feel good about it, honestly. And then when things like brushing teeth become habits you can put energy into other things!! Incentivize it! Give yourself a little treat if you do it!! But only if you do it!! You can do it!!

-Take pictures!! I mean it. Take pictures of the sky, of documents you need to remember of phone numbers of drawings of animals of anything. Save that art you love on tumblr, bookmark those fanfics. Just save things. Its helped me immensely. The other day I realized I didn't have a current photo of my ID so instead of stressing I just went and took it immediately and now i just have it for if i need it. I love the photos app on my phone.

-Set alarms. I know. I KNOW im the kind of person who will set alarms and then ignore them. Change the ringtone often if you have to!! Hold yourself accountable for the 1:50am alarm that says 'please for the love of god go to bed' because when you turn it off suddenly it will be 4am and you'll be on tumblr typing up a really long response on a topic you're extremely passionate about

-Find and use The Passion!!!! If you're like me and you get hyperfixated on things? Use that as a means to get things done! Imagine your blorbo cooking or doing dishes! Put music on while you do chores!!!! Its like that one post, Naruto Believes In You!

-I'm so serious about this one and its so important im making it into its own category: Make a nightly routine. You can fall into the rhythm of just doing your nightly routine and it will be mindless. For example my routine is Turn off Computer, Unplug Computer, Put Headphones down, turn off mouse, turn off large lamp, take medication, turn off small lamp, go to bathroom, wash hands, brush teeth, check on front door locks, come to bed, take melatonin. And you can add one or two things in between if you need, like im using a humidifier in my bedroom so i make sure its filled up when I come into the bedroom after brushing my teeth! Be flexible with it but not too flexible. Like if you take your meds after using the bathroom its totally ok you still got it done and Im proud of you.

-This one is something I seriously need to do more but: wake up early every so often. Just to reset your messed up sleep schedule. Just. Push yourself up, make some waffles or pancakes or something. Make tea for your significant other. (Make it about love, man.)

If you're someone who lives with/supports someone who struggles with this kindof thing, maybe talk to them about if it's difficult to visualize the end goal. I was so surprised to see someone put this into words that i was solid crying for a bit while typing this.

At the end of the day, reading into all of this has made me feel a lot less dumb! I hope this helps some people like it did me. :)

A lot of us with ADHD are familiar with the concept of time blindness, but for anyone who isn't: it's a neurological inability to have a consistent sense of the passage of time. If you put me in an empty room, gave me a button and told me to press it when I think it's been 15 minutes, I might press it after..... idk, anywhere between 3 minutes and 2 hours? And if we repeated it the next day the result would probably be wildly different!

But something I've only seen mentioned in one (1) Reddit post, which took some extensive digging to find, is the same effect extending to ALL things measured in numbers. Distance, weight, length, height, amount, space, volume, percentage... For me, small numbers are a bit easier, I could approximate a centimetre probably, but a metre would be much harder and 10 or 100 would likely miss the mark by a lot. Also, anything that can't be easily measured with a ruler or a measuring tape (like weight or volume) is even harder since I don't encounter reference points (like a 1kg hand weight) for those as frequently as I see visual representations of specific lengths.

It's not dyscalculia or anything like that, I'm decent at math (and the OP of the Reddit post was a math major) and I have no other difficulties with numbers, it's just a disconnect in translating real life experiences like sensory input into numbers (and possibly also inconsistent processing of sensory input? Like how the same sound volume is okay one day but hurts my ears the next?), which I think is basically the same thing as what happens with time blindness. For now I've been calling it "measurement blindness" since I've never seen a name for it anywhere, but maybe "quantity blindness" could also work?

I've talked to other people with time blindness to see if they experience this too, but so far none of them have known what I'm talking about. I'd really like to know how many of us are out there and if anyone knows literally anything actually scientific about this very inconvenient phenomenon!

Tl;dr: bc I am wordy:

It's like time blindness but for all things measured in numbers

Not dyscalculia or caused by it

Pretty much never seen it talked about anywhere

Please tell me if it sounds familiar and/or you know something about it, thank

[crookedanchors]

restless,,,

[full desc under cut]

haaaaa i hate drawing lol i be like wow i am very proud of this!! then ewww i hate this so much!! and then i repeat the process and always end on "i am so embarrassed to even post this this is awful."  anyways, i tried to freehand a little bit more this time which is incredibly hard for me as i suffer from aphantasia. i followed a reference from @/adorkastock vaguely, but i tried my best to do what i could without it. im not sure that i did well. there are things i like like the pillows but then i end up hating everything else. im trying my best to work on finding an art style becaues i don't feel as though i have one (or at least not a good one) but it's very very hard. i hope that in the summer i will be able to practice more and feel less pressured. i just want to enjoy drawing again.  anywhoozle, this is for @layes.art's shipping war. it's a response to a will x nico drawing. i drew clovis and nico bc they've literally been my otp since like... sixth grade when i first read the heroes of olympus books. they are... my babies. i love them so much, but of course i had to hurt my own feelings and draw something angsty but like... it would probs be canon if they were actually together let's be honest  These characters belong to Rick Riordan. ------------------------------------------------------------- Check out my Linktree for ways to commission me, pay for commissions, or send some spare change my way: https://linktr.ee/crookedanchors Like my art and want to commission me? Check out my commission information here: https://www.deviantart.com/crookedanchors/shop or here: https://ko-fi.com/crookedanchors Want to join my Discord server? Check it out here, and make sure you follow the rules: https://discord.gg/NgaGQRZ Thanks for checking out my artwork! I hope you have a great day/night wherever you are, and I love you! <3

[under-omit]

Monday announcement

Hello!  I have a few announcements to make about Underomit and this Blog page.  Im not here for chit chat, so lets get straight into them! 1) Firstly, I would like to say that I will not be posting art on Mondays. This is simply because I have a job on the weekends, and like to sleep in on Mondays. It is a long task to make art, and if I want to keep this blog consistent and actually alive, then I will not post art on Mondays.

2) Instead of posting art, I will be posting and doing a new thing for me called “Monday announcements” so as to update all my followers, future followers, any random viewers, and friends. The announcements may reign from anything from new art styles, possibility of skipped days, or any changes to my schedule, and MORE. I recommend reading at least the first sentence of every announcement on all posts to know what is going on. If you read the entire thing, thanks, if not, that’s okay!

3) Actual Comic update: I recommend reading this announcement fully. Underomit is a grand au and timeline to share how EVERY single human not only fell into the underground and their experience, but also a more detailed past of Undertale. (In my opinion/imagination, that is). Because of this, I may end up doing multiple stories at once (excluding the last human to fall, frisk.) The first 7 souls’ stories have nothing to do with each other, well they sometimes do, but it isn’t anything really majorly important. I am good at organizing things and what I create first, so any situation where it may relate to a past soul will be dealt with before hand. 

-To add onto the last announcement, I understand that depending on the page or panel, it can be confusing to tell what soul is being posted about. Worry not, because I already planned on this even before I started drawing.  To tell the difference between what soul and what story is happening, they will ALL be color coded. Here is the code: Tan/brown/white colors: Chara’s story All of the previous colors and Light blue: Patience’s story All of the previous colors and Orange: Bravery’s story All of the previous colors and Dark blue: Integrity's story All of the previous colors and Pink and Purple: Perseverance's story All of the previous colors and Green: Kindness’s story All of the previous colors and Yellow: Justices story.  To explain this a little more, I will use Integrity's story as an example; Integrity will have all the colors of the previous souls, so, orange, light blue, tan/brown, and white. The further time passes and each human falls, the more the comic will become painted. By time Justice falls, all colors will be there except red and black, which will come with Frisk. Which, the last part of the color code, is... All previous colors and Red: Frisk All pervious color and Black: Frisk in genocide

--and add on to the add on: (not necessarily important and can skip if you don't need more details about the colors) Chara’s color coding is a bit difficult, and you may notice hues of red, orange and green. Right now it may seem like Chara's story may get confused, but do not worry. These hues are simply here to show light and shading. No other human souls (when they fall) will be using the same hues to shade or highlight. The reason I was forced to resort to these colors is because the fact that is it hard for me to differentiate hundreds of tans and browns apart from each other, so unless they are extremely noticeable, it is impossible for me to see a difference. The only other two soul that may also resort in this problem is justice’s soul, yellow, as I also find it hard to tell yellows apart. However, because justice is the second to last soul to fall, there should be enough previous colors to not make a difference. The other soul would be perseverance with Purple, same problem. So, to grant myself freedom from this problem, Pink will be added at that same time (considering there is no pink soul, this seems fair.) You may notice a similar theme with other souls as colors are added in the idea of two colors. For example, black and grey/silver. yellow and gold, orange and peach (which is a pink/orange mix). Just note that most colors will stick to the actual theme, and any hues (like peach) will simply be for specific items that I find difficult to color, shade, or highlight. 

- Another add on to announcement number three again, keep in mind that this is an AU (Alternative/Alternate Universe). While it is mostly a parallel AU, it is not the exact same (which some people may have even noticed already, with dialogue, and all). The most differences will come with Frisks story after all the other 7 human souls stories have been put to rest. Including not only interaction differences, but also game differences. 

4) Lastly, but not least, I will try my best to get a new comic panel out tomorrow, but as someone with aphantasia, my physical drawing ideas are near to none. Basically, I cant draw for sh*t and I'm “out of pictured ideas”. I still know how half the human souls stories will fully go, but not in picture, just in word. Also don’t be surprised if it is a new story because trying to draw Toriel for Chara, is a PITA and it annoyed me so I kind of gave up last Friday.....

Thank you all for reading and listening to todays announcement, and there will probably (most defiantly) be more next week on Monday!

-Edit

5) Something I forgot to mention, you can also tell what story it is by looking at the tags. All of Chara’s story will have #storyofchara, and #thebrownsoul. In this post I will add on all tags that I will be making (and claiming) for such organization purposes. Be careful reading these because they will in fact spoil the names of each soul :)

Chara: #thebrownsoul - #thestoryofchara Patience: #thelightbluesoul - #thelbsoul - #thestoryofsabri Bravery: #theorangesoul - #thestoryofeverett  Integrity: #thedarkbluesoul - #thedbsoul - #thestoryofjati Perseverance: #thepurplesoul - #thestoryofsisu Kindness: #thegreensoul - #thestoryofellis Justice: #theyellowsoul - #thestoryofzuzen Frisk: #theredsoul - #thestoryoffrisk Frisk geocide: #theblacksoul - #thestoryoffrisk

-2k