#im making fucking mac and cheese
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Rouxls Kaard is trans. You agree? Reblog.
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this is another wip from the fic im working on where yuffie accidentally concusses herself on a zipline. for context, aerith has just come to the realization that maybe it was a bad idea to talk about babysitting the concussed teenager in front of the concussed teenager. jeez aerith dont you know thats embarrassing!!! anyway listen as good with people as aerith is, sometimes you fuck up and forget that the walls of johnnys seaside inn are not even a little bit soundproof.
it was fun writing aerith doing some damage control/de-escalation. she does it in a way that is sneaky and lighthearted without veering into being like... mean-spirited or disrespectful, y'know?
god knows when this fic is gonna see the light of day so im thinking i'll still post a wip every so often to give myself SOME sense of progress
#i thought about posting another bit where it's just aerith perceiving cloud once again having a truly pitiful moment of awkwardness#but im not sure im happy with how it is at the moment so we're going with aerith talking tifa down from catastrophizing instead#writing from aeriths perspective is rly interesting because most of what she says feels very intentional#like we only really get to hear the final version of her thoughts after the internal deliberation and redactions#so having to figure out what her internal voice sounds like before the brain-to-mouth filter has been a fun challenge#i could get into how aerith is infuriatingly dishonest while also being very sincere and honest at the same time#like she lies by omission SO frequently!!! and sometimes its not on purpose or even a conscious decision!!! she makes me insane!!!!!#and i LOVE that about her shes so fucking fascinating. but i wont say more bc we would be here all day#ff7#aerith gainsborough#tifa lockhart#do they serve mac n cheese at the seventh heaven#my fics
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yesterday someone responded to me posting a pic of Simon (my oc) on my instagram story saying "Very very nice (just not as cute as Harvey)" and I haven't been right since <3
#exCUSE YOU#BOTH MY BABYGIRLS FINE AF#SMH#the disresPECT#I'm not like livid or anything#I have enough emotional maturity to just be like whatever#but still as a word of advice#please don't say rude things about fanartists' chars when they decide to focus on drawing their own characters...#It can and will be misconstrued as 'I don't think your original content is worth my consideration' n it hurts#cus like i know babygirl#I had no followers back when I was just drawing my ocs#cuz im not good enough and fast enough to get people to rally behind my ocs#but im apparently just good enough to get people to notice when i draw their fav blorbo or smth#whatever#I'll never be good enough and I've just accepted that#I'm not a real artist and I'm not creative enough to have any sort of interesting legacy#what the fuck ever#I can make better mac and cheese than 99% of yall and thats all dat matters fr
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sure i’m exaggerating how bad i feel rn (even though i did feel that bad yesterday but whatever) but the fact they believe i’m light headed and nauseous and cramping and still making me my my grandma’s stupid fucking 2 pounds of cheese and 2 cans of condensed milk recipe hurts
#nice to know my grandma’s feelings of importance and authority matter more than my well-being#can she just keel over already . sorry but like#vent#i want my mom . and friends :(#and IM THE ONLY ONE MAKING THIS SOECIFIC FUCKING MAC N CHEESE#CAUSE *I* HAVE TO MAKE A SPECIAL FUCKING GLUTEN FREE VERSION AND IM GONNA BE THE ONLY ONE ‘EATING’ IT#AND I ATILL HAVE TO FUCKING MAKE IT WHEN I DONT WANT TO AND I JUST CANT#I CANT I CANT NO ONE HERE CARES ABOUT ME. not really#they care about their daughter or sister not blue.
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Trying to recreate my sister’s christmas mac n cheese recepie that she cant remember.
May sanji have mercy on my soul for any cooking sins i may be about to commit
#cooking#i know what types of cheeses she used and how to make the roux#the rest is up to fate and the gods#i just hope i can do it just right#it was the best mac n cheese i’d ever had#and she doesnt remember the recepie she used for it#so im gonna have to pray i dont fuck it up#ive made mac n cheese from scratch before but that was a different recepie
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got this weird thing always where im always wondering if im a gay man or a bi dude-kinda or a bi girl-a-little-bit or a gay man-also-woman-a-bit, and its like. whenever im like "OKAYY I DONT CAREEEEE MAYBE I DO LIKE GIRLS" .... IMMEDIATELY my thoughts about liking women are gone like. when im trying to appease that. and then im like "hmm maybe i DONT like girls??" the thoughts about liking girls comes back
#and GENUINELY... COSMICALLY... if i really want to date a woman i would love to just allow this for myself. and am trying to#and whenever i try to its like ''yeah nevermind man it wasnt even anything''#so when i do go ''oh okay i guess it was nothing'' the desire to like women comes back#and maybe its a case of ''putting it off the table makes me want it more'' .. but its like.. when i say ''ok im bi'' its gone.#its like hey. come back. what happened i said i liked it. gone. until i accept that its gone. and then its back. chameleon type shit#permanently grass-is-greener type of living... please..#ALSO.... this happens with ''being a little bit of a girl'' because then im like ''ok cool man im a girl now. yup''#but when i put this into action i HATE IT and VEHEMENTLY need to go back immediately#and then when i go back im like ''but what if i WASNT just a guy..... hmmm...''#and its like that bit from courage the cowardly dog where baby muriel wants her mac and cheese 500 different ways#and is never happy when you give it to her#when i MOST think about ''being a girl who is bi'' is when i feel THE MOST like a gay man#& when i think about and put into practice ''being a gay man'' i CANNOT enjoy it due to the ''what ifs''#its like i have to do a schrodinger's sexuality on myself#genuinely really dont mind what my sexuality and gender is as long as im happy and YET.... its like chasing my own tail with myself#its funny because what i do know is that i love masculine terms i love being he/him'd i love being called a man i love my body on t#but... ''what to call this other than blanketly 'transmasc'.. if anything'' and ''who do i wanna fuck about it'' are like going in circles#and NOT to say people need anything more specific than just being transmasc or just saying ''im gay'' or being blanketly queer or anything#and maybe i need to take a page from that if its giving me grief. but ... *gestures vaguely*
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damn girl what that mouth do
#not rlly feeling the third one rn#its the fucking eyes but its midnight and im hungry and i need to go to bed#anyways this is eleanor but as a beast and i need to make the full body ref next#her jaws can do a weird swivel and stretch thing but its ouchies#good thing its a defense mechanism#uh#tw body horror#corrin speaks#and draws ig#okay im gonna go eat kfc mac n cheese now bye bye#edit theres no kfc mac n cheese i hyped myself up for nothing :(
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Gonna draw Louis in Haute Couture cus I know no God
#im making fucking mac n cheese anD NOBODY CAN STOP ME#gonna turn on my frank sinatra record and just zone out for a couple hours#iwtv#interview with the vampire#fashion#louis de pointe du lac#ldpdl#haute couture#lmao
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>mac and cheese work lunch
> damn good mac and cheese.
> i should make this more. Wonder what else you could add...
>SPINACH. [i love spinach]
>oh fuck how expressive is spinach rn.
>OH. YOU CAN GROW SPINACH...
#some shit#sorry for making a home grown green text just understand im adrift in mac cheese thoughts......#we do regular lettuces but uhhh lol their a little delicate with the... fucking heat. but spinch... a little hardier i thin??#well its a real long haul ass meal prep but it IS. an option. for deluxe mac cheese............
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I can't eat Mac n cheese on the regular it's too much. Like I don't care abt carbs or whatever I eat a lot of pasta. But like. Idk it's so dense. So cheesy. But if I'm in the middle of a breakdown or I've been crying it's like the food of the fucking GODS
#im so tired and anxious today after an important meeting but mac and cheese is healing me#trying to remembwr what that shit gods drink is called. ambrosia thats it#i kept thinking aphrodisiac but thats like. no#mac n cheese doesnt make me wanna fuck . it does make me feel like life is worth livinf tho
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I've literally been restricting my diet to save money so I dont have to pull from savings 🙃 and was hoping to use my extra cash to just. Buy regular food for like a month or two. But! Cant do that now!
#i fucking hate this country dude there were tax laws for poor ppl that were just...let expire#like they just let them expire they werent even covid era policies#and now im getting two thirds LESS of a return despite making more money this uear#trying not to take it out on my bf cuz its not his fault hes well off and can afford to feed himself good meals but#literally been living off of mac n cheese for 4 months now when hes not visiting like...#i dont think he knows what it feels like
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I know I need to eat something before work but dear god do we have NOTHING appealing.
#ramblings#have been living off of mac n cheese. ramen. and doritos nachos rotated for the past like. week or so and i am soooo tired of it#i have hated leftovers days bc like. fuck all we have is shit i dont wanna eat im so fucking tired of pasta#also anything better i can make on my own would take too long. :/#ventings
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Cassy took his Fucking bell off again
Nightmare kitty >:(
#speculation nation#also i wanted to order food on the company card but it's not workinggggg#im still broke bc the bank hasnt cashed my fucking checkkkkkkk#that was much of the Mood earlier today. not having fucking money despite depositing it days ago#but the bank says it'll be available tomorrow (it BETTER fucking be)#until then. im still broke! and i am running low on food in my apartment :]#im not going to starve. but i certainly am not living it up rn.#maybe i'll make some mac n cheese. my milk might still be good. i gotta check on it
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peace and love yall
i just remembered I have vegan hot dogs and mac n cheese
i can have hot dogs in mac n cheese
the world can be beautiful
#im also making tiny books out of paper. packing tape. and thread! im binding the tiny books its kinda fun#theyre empty tho#also saw 2 is fucking wild yall like jesus#mac n cheese#hot dog#vegan#vegan mac and cheese#hot dogs and mac n cheese
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im in a terrible mood today idk why
#punktalk#punkvent#i realized i forgot to ask my mom to give me a ride somewhere 2 days in advance so shes probably gonna say no#apparently my 3ds charger or the port is broken#which is kind of sad#so i need to ask a friend to lend their charger to the Diagnosing Cause#and im like. not mad about that im just kind of sad because if its broken that really fucking sucks. i bought it with my own money#for like my 16th birthday or something#and its also jailbroken#idk#also my laptop isn’t showing my cursor and i cant use the touchpad but it SAYS the tuouchpad is on so. it’s anyone’s guess ig#but there’s only one mouse in the house rn and it’s being used currently so i cant. test that#so i guess ill have to order a mouse or wait until it is out of use#i could ask but i dont want to deal with myself if the answer is anything but yes of course#which makes me feel very deflated. i dont want to be mean or shitty but im in a shitty mood so i Should TM not subject anyone else to it#idk im just in a weird mood#i do need to do my t shot#thats another thing#we dont have any groceries and my mom said shed do them yesterday but didnt#so ive already been waiting on my t gel prescription for a week and a half because she hadn’t gotten paid#and now that she did we still dont have any grocery OR my t gel#so i need to do my shot to get my funny juice and become normal again#and also im hungry for something that isn’t cereal or ramen or mac nd cheese#im going thru it with the First World Problems today aren’t i#i wish i were a real adult with like a car and real money and shit#but alas. minimum wage part time work be upon me#i kind of am just being lazy wrt my art stuff though that is on me#but can you blame me for not wanting to feed the instagram machine day in and day out just to make like maybe 50 more dollars through a year
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Wanna come back to my place for some fun?~~~~
What? No i dont want to have sex with you- I was gonna give you a whole 3 course meal but noooooooooooo
#asexual#ace spec#this popped into my head and it was funny#i would much rather cook for someone than fuck them#food is so many millions of times better than sex#and seeing someone else enjoy your cooking is even BETTER#i wanna make broccoli cheddar soup…..#and more tomato soup#oh and chicken mac n cheese#mac n cheese from scratch entirely#oooo and i can always be down for a steak~#maybe rub down some ribs and get em smokin over some hickory#when i have a place of my own im having a grease disposal and a grill out back#maybe a smoker too#for good ol texan barbecues#man i get to do the neighborhood barbecue and we get folks comin over and set up classic bbq games#bring texas with me wherever i go#ohhhhhhh and it’ll be a dream to have the privilidge to cook wagyu#cook things i may never eat but someone else with have so much joy in eating#have a beautiful stove and an oven and both an air fryer AND a deep fryer#a blender AND a food processor#microwave will be mostly reheating stuff and frozen meals when we’re out of stuff or im tired#OHHHHHHH AND WE’LL HAVE A DEEP FREEZER!!!!!!#oh emile i hope you’re getting all this#wanna cook for you so BAD
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