#im mad at myself and im mad at everyone around me who had a good time and i dont wanna be but im just SAD and i cant go back and change it

[didnt-hear-cold-as-you-live]

.

[sluts4matt]

Can you do one where y/n is inlove with nate since she was 14 but she's the sturniolo tirplets little sister and her best friend is in love with nate now she's 19 and still in love with him, she is dating this bot but he's not so nice to her and nate gets mad at him and one night y/n gone to nate while he was in LA and tells him that her boyfriend broke up with her because she didn't want to lose her virginity to him, nate is there for her so she kisses him realizing she betrayed her friend and brothers but nate tells her he likes her back they go on a couple of dates and 8 mouths later y/n loses her virginity to her high school crush meanwhile they have sex y/n best friend comes over and her best friend and her brothers didn't know they were dating till they hear her moan/or nate and y/n feels like bad friend but none of them actually care

SECRET

pairing: nate doe x sls!erika sturniolo

summary: she had hidden her feelings away for years, but with growing up and toxic relationships it was all starting to resurface.

warnings: none

word count: 1631

authors note: a miniseries, whaaat. i am so fucking sorry this took me as long as it did @mssturniolo, next chapter in a few days most likely.

having feelings for your brothers' best friend had always been a no go. or at least that's what the movies always taught me, i found myself loving the trope from a young age, before i truly understood what liking a boy meant.

now i know, and am in fact involved with the same beloved trope of all of my favorite movies.

the feeling was planted when I was fourteen, my mom and brothers brought me to watch a friends hockey game. his blue eyes and blonde curls captivated me basically immediately. of course, i knew about the infamous nathan doe, he had been nick, matt, and chris' best friend since middle school.

i just hadn't had an actual conversation with him until he skated up to our area. nick, matt, and chris had all been freshmans' in high school while me and nate were still stuck in the eighth grade.

he had skated right up to us, the biggest smile i had ever seen, which i had thought was impossible because of the contagious one chris almost always wore. "hey guys'," he grinned, "hey erika," he said, the name falling from his mouth as if he had spoken it a thousand times before.

my cheeks flushed as i nodded and gave him a small wave. the butterflies felt instant and like they weren't gonna go away. the buzzer rang, signaling for everyone to get in their positions.

we watched as nate skated away on the ice, the silver blade of his ice skates carrying him away. "always such a sweet boy," i heard my mother marylou state from beside me.

after watching the game and watching nate score the winning goal, we all made our way out of the arena, nate quickly joining us. he swung an arm around chris' shoulder as he fell in stride beside me.

"you guys did good," i state, ignoring the heat i felt going to my cheeks. "yeah?" he asks, his boston accent thick, and i can tell he wants me to keep talking. "yeah, it was pretty impressive," i say. "im glad you thought so," he replies, and his smile is even wider now.

i feel my face heat up more as the words 'he's talking to me!' repeat in my head. "you guys staying the night?" he asks, turning to the three boys who all looked basically identical.

"can we?" the three of them ask, practically jumping up and down. "of course!" marylou answers, and the four of them start cheering.

my alarm blared, bangs coming from my door. "hurry up erika," i could hear nicks agitated voice, "you're gonna make us late," he continued with a groan.

i looked over at my phone, seeing that my alarm had been going off for ten minutes now. a gasp left my lips as i got up, frantically moving around my bedroom.

i pulled the first clothes from my drawers that my hands landed on, pulling my pajamas off and replacing them. i quickly put on deodorant and brushed my teeth before brushing through my hair. i applied a few layers of mascara to my eyelashes, watching the black envelop them and make them longer and bolder.

i heard nick groan once again, as i walked to my door. i opened it being met with his eyes staring down at me, "what's the point of an alarm if you don't wake up to it?"

"hurry up," chris sang from the bottom of the stairs, "we have to go get nate."

a smile was brought to my lips, before i quickly replaced it. nate and i had gotten closer in the past two years, most of our freshman classes were with each other so we grew accustomed to each other's company.

he always came to our house after practice or games, sometimes he would just show up unannounced to hang out, typically with the boys, sometimes me if they were busy.

he was an incredibly sweet person, he was always helping around the house and never expected anything in return. he was also extremely funny and had a great sense of humor and could make even the toughest situations funny.

"bye mom," the four of us stated, walking out the door. me and nick got in the back of the van while matt and chris sat in the front, matt being the driver.

nick started a conversation with the three of us, one that i mostly tuned out, only catching a few words here and there. the drive to nates house was short, like always.

matt parked by the curb and i watched chris pull out his phone to send nate a text. not even a minute later nate was walking out of his front door, a black baseball cap sat backwards on his head, his blonde hair peaking out slightly.

he wore a grey sweatshirt and black jeans, a bag slung over his shoulder. a wide grin appeared on his face as he saw the car, running and throwing himself into the back.

"morning," he smiled towards us all, scooting in beside me. "morning," we all mumbled, giving tired smiles. "why are you so happy," nick grumbled, leaning his head against the window.

"because we get to go to school, where they'll teach us, and fill our heads with knowledge," he said, grinning. "okay, now the truth," i giggle, poking his side.

his hand grabbed my finger, holding it. a smile stayed on his face, as his thumb grazed over the back of my finger, sending goosebumps up my arms. "i just have a good feeling about today," he answered. "okay psychic," chris joked, not taking notice to nate's hang wrapped around my index finger.

"well im glad you're so happy," matt added, smiling at nate. "are you guys excited for homecoming?" nate asked, looking at us. "no," me and matt respond at the same time, neither of us were one for big crowds and god knew that's what homecoming would be.

chris and nick on the other hand, had already bought tickets and were planning their outfits. chris was planning to take some girl named juliette while nick was trying to figure out how to ask his best friend to go as friends.

no one knew who nate was going with, at least not me. he didn't talk about it much in all honestly, today had been the second time i've heard anything from him about it in a month.

"who are you taking again?" chris asked, turning back to the three of us. "ava," nate smiled, causing my heart to drop. ava michaels was pretty, i had always envied her.

the way her skin looked flawless and clear all the time, her clothes, everything. her eyes were a deep blue color, and her hair was a dark brown color, almost black. her lips were plump and naturally pink, she was known as one of the prettiest girls in our school.

"lock it down bro, we'll be popular forever," nick joked. "it's not a date," nate chuckled, "just friends," he added, causing me to let out a breath i hadn't realized i was holding.

out of the corner of my eye, i could see nate look over at me, though i chose to ignore it. the rest of the drive was silent, except for the occasional joke or two.

when we finally arrived, matt parked the car in his original parking slot, putting it in park before he turned the key over, shutting the ignition off.

the four of us unbuckled and exited the vehicle, following the stream of kids entering the school.

the day seemed to move by in a flash, and i had found myself in the library, sitting next to nate, waiting for the bell to ring so the librarian could tell us what our english teacher had planned.

"did you do the homework?" i heard nate whisper. i looked over at him, his head was laying down on his crossed arms. "yes," i state, already pulling the paper from my bag so he can copy the answers.

i watched his eyes widen slightly, before a small smirk fell onto his lips. he sat up, scooting his chair closer to mine. his knee brushed against mine as he copied the answers, the touch sending a shiver down my spine.

he was close enough that i could smell his cologne, and i had to admit that i liked it. "thanks," he whispered, putting his paper away as the librarian began speaking.

"welcome, welcome, mrs. wilson called out sick very last minute, not giving us time to find a substitute," she explained.

"so instead you all will be working with a peer partner, groups of two, mrs. wilson says she doesn't mind who you work with as long as you're quiet and respectful," she finished, a smile appearing on her face.

"any questions?" she asked, but no one raised their hand. "perfect," she grinned, "get in groups of two," she said.

"hey partner," nate grinned, and the butterflies in my stomach erupted. "hey," i smiled, feeling a blush fall onto my cheeks. "so what do you wanna do?" he asked, his knee bumping into mine again, this time purposefully.

"shakespeare?" i suggest, and he nods, a smile on his lips. "what's your favorite play?" i ask, pulling out a sheet of notebook paper. "romeo and juliet," he smiles, making me smile as well.

"i knew you were basic," i joked, and his jaw dropped. "im not basic," he defended, a fake gasp escaping his lips.

i laughed, rolling my eyes as i wrote the title of the play on the paper. "we could compare and contrast the original play with the movie," he suggested, and i nodded, writing.

"good idea, let's start."

tag list:

@hysteria-things @tillies33ssss @soimightlikeoldmen69 @sturniolossss @freshsturns @lily-strnlo @etvar12 @iloveurgf @sstvrnioloo @junnniiieee07 @sturnioloa @chrryclouds @sturniolho @mayhem-72 @nicksmainbitch @sturniolowhore @imwetforyourmom @novasturniolo03 @catalina-island @stars4chratt @gbaabyyyy @monkeyscientist22

[erinsturniolo]

i don’t want you like a best friend - M.S

summary: bestfriend!matt and “bestfriend”!reader at a party with unknown desires for eachother.

warnings: p in v, unprotected sex, lots of smut, shower sex, swearing, underage drinking, very few uses of y/n (I tried to put it in here no times but I couldn’t!! I’m so sorry omgggg I hate it too dw 😭)

may make you get mad: “that’s not fitting.” “I’ll make it.” I know. I hate this too but his dick is like seven inches and tbh any girl would be lucky to have all seven inches regardless of height. also I’m new to smut writing so I may suck at explaining shit and have horrid grammar. I myself don’t know what (juno) position they are in but I’m too lazy to fix it so.. finally, “pretty sounds” cringy af but I used moan and groan and idk what else there is

if u wanna take inspo from this (thank you!) idc as long as you don’t copy my entire thing. but if your under 18 fuck off, no smut for you 👎

word count: idfk?? find out yourself xx

(this isn’t gonna be realistic, I’ve never been to a party or hooked up with anyone before so 😭 I feel a lot of us here on Tumblr haven’t. we’re saving ourselves for Matt 😭😭😭)

(this is my first time writing a smut fanfic, first sturniolo fanfic and first Tumblr fanfic! sorry it might be bad, not proofread. just trying out writing instead of reading!)

(english is NOT my first language. if I spelled a word wrong or something DONT BLAME ME, LOVE MADE ME CRAZY. (iykyk))

I ACCIDENTALLY CHANGED IT TO I INSTEAD OF YOU HALFWAY THROUGH OH MY GOD IM SO FUCKING SORRY IM DUMB AF

You were just hanging out with one of your friends, gossiping about the latest rumors around your school when you got an invite to the biggest party of the year. Thrown by the one and only sturniolo triplets, they were known for throwing the most lavish parties and sneaking in drinks for everyone to have. Their parties also earned the reputation of the place to hook up. You and the triplets were best friends, but you were especially close with Matt. You secretly have a desire for Matt that no one knows, not even your best friends. When you saw the invitation you squealed. “f/n, we need to go shopping for dresses, right now!” And so you did, you went to every store when you found the perfect dress. A short dress with a black dress part and gold straps and trim. It was perfect, but you could only imagine Matt taking it off.

you and your friend arrived at the part around 9:00pm. The lights are on and music is blasting, even from outside. You and f/n park at the end of the 50-ish line of cars. You finally step into the party and are immediately greeted with booming music and a drink to start, you take the drink and glance around at everyone. The party had only started 30 minutes ago but people were already on the dance floor. You scanned the crowd specifically looking for one person. Matt. “Girl who are you looking for? You’ve been to these parties before, come on!” F/n yells over the loud music, yanking your arm and entering the dance floor. You started having sips out of your drink, and sat down at the kitchen island. “Hey! I’ve been looking for you for so long, where were you?” You turn around to see Matt, in a leather jacket and pants, you glance up and down at his body. Shocked on how good he looks. “oh, my friend just pulled me to the dance floor, I was looking for you too!” You giggle, while your hands begin to shake trying to maintain eye contact and not dick contact. “you? on the dance floor?” Matt teased “don’t even right now.” you tried to hide your grin as he kept teasing and laughing at you.

the time with Matt went by so fast. Your conversation lasted around an hour before you both realized how long you had been talking, and the party was livelier than ever, you and Matt had been pulled back onto the dance floor. The amount of people in the crowd was making your body be thrown around like you were in a washing machine. You finally caught up to matt, who was significantly taller, making it easier for him to get through. “Jesus Christ, it’s like a mosh pit in there.” You laughed “that’s because it is a mosh pit.” Matt informed you. You glanced up at Matt when you heard yelling from behind, you turned around to see Nick and Chris fighting for approximately the 1989th time. “No, cause-!” Chris was cut off by Matt’s yell for them to stop. “whatever, I’m gonna go get some a drink, you guys want any?” I said in annoyance by the mosh-pit-like crowd. “nah- jinx!”Nick and Chris said at once, then continued to fight over who said “jinx” first. “I’ll come, I’ll have to protect you from the crowd or else you’ll get trampled.” Matt chuckled. I chuckled back, but what he didn’t know is that that sentence sent butterflies through my stomach.

I opened the cabinet to grab another bottle of liquor and was only a centimetre away from the bottle, even in my tippy toes. Matt was on his phone, and I didn’t want to bother him, so I just tried to get it myself. I groaned in annoyance at the fact I couldn’t grab it myself, so I climbed onto the counter. I finally caught the bottle and was about to climb down when my foot slipped and I fell, but I didn’t fall. someone caught me?

Matt. motherfucking matthew sturniolo caught me, he is my best friend but still. I was in his arms looking up into his eyes like a dumb puppy. I was so stunned that I didn’t even realize the entire bottle of liquor emptied onto my dress. “shit- sorry.” I say as I try to stand up and clean myself off with the nearby paper towels. “no it’s fine, I should have helped you-“ Matt tries to say “no no Matt it’s okay, my fault entirely. how dumb did I have to be to climb up there?” I apologize, Matt chuckles “we don’t have much paper towels, let’s get you cleaned up” Matt says as he grabs my arm and pulls me toward the bathroom. “here you go-“ Matt says as he hands me a handful of toilet paper. with any other person I would be fine with the setting, but not with Matt. being in the bathroom with Matt probably seemed normal to everyone except me. it seemed like a fanfiction, a dream. I’m so lost in thinking about how romantic it is that he - MATTHEW STURNIOLO is in the bathroom with me, that I didn’t even think to look up. But much to my surprise Matt was staring right at my eyes. “oh-sorry. your eyes are just really pretty, whoever is your boyfriend in the future would be lucky to have you” Matt stutters, I freeze. did Matt just say, I’m pretty? “o-oh! thank you Matt” I smile blushing like a ripe-RIPE tomato. Matt giggles, I glance over and I realize that 10 seconds ago I swear the bathroom door was open, but now it’s closed. I look back at matt and he must have saw the lust in my eyes, and I saw the lust in his. I could tell that look, even if I haven’t hooked up with anybody before. the look of lust, wait no- love.

I stutter “m-Matt? why’d you close the do-“ “you know y/n.” Matt says while putting his hand on my cheek. I lean into him, he leans into me. and in that moment, I kiss him. I know, me, kissing Matt? but no, it’s happening. right now, I close my eyes and just stop thinking. it feels like both me and Matt are stunned at what we’re doing, but it both feels magical. He pulls me in and turns so my back is leaning against the sink counter. we let go of the kiss and Matt moves his hand toward my hip, and placing the other on my shoulder, fiddling with my dress strap. I place one hand on the back of his neck and one on his belt. I lean in again but Matt leans into my neck and starts playfully kissing it. I let out a small groan and start fidgeting with his belt. “matt-“ I try to say but matt cuts me off. “shh” matt whispers, and pulls my strap of my dress to the side of my shoulder. I fidget with Matt’s belt, but what I didn’t know is that it comes undone easily, and his pants are only held up by his belt. all of a sudden Matt’s belt crashes onto the floor and so does his pants. “fuck sorry Matt” I whisper. Matt pulls away and suggests me “how about I make us even? hmm?” I nod my head as he pulls a strap of my dress off, then the other. I put my hand under his shirt and slowly lift his shirt. Next thing I know my dress is on the ground and Matt’s shirt and pants are on the ground and Matt is turning on the shower.

Matt steps into the shower and throws his boxers off and out of the shower, I undress slowly but get pulled into the shower by Matt, still in my underwear. “I couldn’t wait.” Matt says seductively. I glance down and freeze. “like what you see?” Matt chuckles “that is not fitting.” I speak “I’ll make it” Matt whispers. he places his hands on my underwear and glides it off grinning. Matt grabs my hips and pins me against the foggy, cool glass. I place my hands on his checks and start kissing him. Matt pulls me closer and bites my lip, making me groan. He takes a hand off my hip and onto his dick, and starts teasing me with his dick, I can’t help but moan. My lips let go from his as I bite my lip. “there you go, keep making those pretty sounds for me.” Matt moans as he slides his length into my pussy, I practically scream at how good it feels, my head flings back in pleasure as he wraps my legs around him. He holds my body and bounces it to reach maximum pleasure, with each bounce, he goes faster. And so do my moans. I’m moaning as fast as I can and as loud as I need, I’m positive other people can hear but I don’t care. I can feel the knot in my stomach start to build up. “m-Matt g-gonna c-“ I stutter before creaming all over Matt’s veiny, throbbing dick. Screaming at how good it feels. Matt keeps me bouncing on his dick, just waiting for himself to cum. He starts moaning and I knew what was about to come (see what I did there 🤭)”shit y/n I’m about to co-“ Matt gets interrupted by my moans of his cum filling my walls, painting them white. “oh my fuck- I” I stutter before Matt lifts me off his dick and onto the ground. I land on my knees, panting like a dog. “oh my god, that felt so good.” I moan, Matt puts his hand on my chin and pulls my face towards him. “just wait for the car.”

[nyx-is-missing]

SUNSET PART 1

Or early summer!

Clarisse La Rue x Cassandra De Young (oc! Apollo's kid)

Summary: When Cassandra gets involved in a scandal early in the day, she goes to camp early.

Warnings: men....thats all i could think of actualy.

First read this!

Part 2 is here!

Cassandra De Young

Im fucked.

That's it, that's all i can say.

I knew it as soon as my hand reached his face and stinged, as soon as i heard a camera's flash, and as soon as i stepped into my mom's apartment.

Let's just rewind a bit, okay?

My family own a big business, that you already know by now, the thing is, when they reeaally want to do business with someone they go extreme, the most common technique is to get on the good side of everyone in the family, everyone.

They research, pretend to have things in common, to like the same things, to have the same views of life, and to make it more believable they always go for the person who is closest in age with them.

Usually i dont get involved in this situations because im younger than everyone else, the only teen in the family.

The thing is, this family also had someone around my age.

A 18 year old guy.....eighteen.

Let me tell you, i really wasn't going for trouble today, i tought he may be a normal guy, just with a little money, someone i could have a conversation with, drink some coffe, laugh and go back home and think "hey, not so bad"

He.was.not.

All he could talk about is how much money his family had, where he went for winter break, his pure blood horse, that only ate (attention to this one) IMPORTED GRASS.

Overall a huge dick.

But that i could handle, i've met people like this, i could handle a shitty talk for some hours, what i could not handle was having to go through all this with his hand on my knee bellow the table.

And here i was, spending one of my last days of spring being tortured by the fates.

"You're not paying much attention to the conversation are you?" He said, and gods that accent was almost making me want to jump out of a cliff, or push him out of a cliff, both would work.

"Oh sorry i was-"

"No need to apologize, people get bored i know" Not that he did something criminal by not letting me finish my sentence but, my gods every action coming from him its making me want to die right now "Its okay, i could find some way to make you focus"

Okay, im done

"Im gonna need you to stop saying odd shit" I looked him dead in the eye with a bothered look, and by the surprised look he gave me back i was 100% sure nobody ever told him to shut up when he was saying nonsense.

"C'mon, dont be like that-" he said trying to get his hand a little but upwards, and i only realized i slapped him when i felt my hand burning.

"Oh my gods im sorry i-" And then i heard the camera flashes.

Im going to need you to imagine the scene, my hand was still up, his hand was till on his cheek, and he had a scared look in his face, as did most of the people at the fancy coffe shop.

Do i smile now? Strike a pose? This one is definetly getting front pages at every place.

I chose the safest choice, got out of that straight to my house.

No..i did not payed the bill.

The whole way home i was trying really hard to think of something to say that was not going to make my family mad, especially my grandfather, but considering whe has always mad with something, that felt like a impossible mission.

First thing i saw when i opened the door of the penthouse was my mom, standing in front of the television, and sure enough, my face was on it.

She turned to me, but before she could even say something i started to explain myself.

"Its not what it looks like mom, i swear, i didn't do it on pourpose, let me explain please-" i couldnt actually read the look on her face, but she didnt say anything, so  i took that as a go ahead.

When i explained her what happened her face relaxed a bit, but not completely, and she had a look that said your grandpa is getting in my nerves because of this.

"I'll talk to your grandfather about this, but you need to know that the way you acted wasn't appropriate, there is cameras all around and you need to be careful...lets just thank the gods you didnt pulled out a dagger right?" She walked closer to me, and i knew she was trying to comfort me, its a pitty actually, i knew she didnt wanted kids when she had me, i knew how grandpa treated her when he found out, to me, it was enough that she at least tried to love me enough.  "You already have your things packed to camp right? I know you have some more days of school but ill call them and tell them you are sick, its best for you to leave earlier this year, then your grandfather wont talk your ears out...you okay with that?"

"Yes mama, ill just finish packing some small things...do i leave today?" I felt her hands on my shoulders, and heard a silent im sorry.

"Yes, but dont be like that, think that you at least wont have to see the news talking about you..youll just be there, with your siblings, eating strawberies and..whatever else demigods do daily, right?"

Like i said, it is enough to me that she tries, even when she isnt great all the time, i know people who dont even have this.

I nodded and went to my room, making sure not to accidentally hit a new sculpture, placed in the corridor.

I didnt wait for her when i finished packing.

I knew she wouldnt be the one to take me there, she never is, she has things to do with the family business, its what ive always heard.

So when i got to the underground garage with my bags i automatically searched for one of the family drivers, sure enough, he was there.

He was a nice guy, but quiet, i knew that he probably had orders not to talk to the family members unless spoken to, grandpa did this with all of them, i also knew he never actually knows where hes been taking me, he takes me there almos every year, but always stops at the road in front of the forest, maybe this sad look he has on his face its because he thinks he is taking me to one of those crazy wilderness therapies as a punishment.

Granpa would absolutely do that if he hadnt had to live with a great public appearence.

"Miss? We are here" He looked at me in the rearview mirror, i only realized i had doze of when my eyes met his and i blinked. "Hold on tight, im going to help you with your luggage okay?"

"Oh..thank you mr bell" He opened the trunk, and then the back door for me, extending his hand to help me get out of the car "thank you, again"

"Sure miss, just let me take your bags out and we are all set okay?-"

Another car dor noise made us both look to the right, to find Clarisse La rue, closing a taxi door, with just one big suitcase in hand.

Now, my story with Clarisse is kind of complicated, i've met her when he were, eight i guess, her family bought some shares in the family business and we saw each other very regulaly, and ever since then everything everyone told me about her is that she is a troublesome girl, that i should stay far.

But she was the one who realized i was a demigodess, and took me straight to camp when a monster found me, and she was the one who, many times when we were little, comforted me when my family made me cry.

It seems like she forgot all of that because she never even looks at me.

If you ask her, she has never even met me at all actually.

"Clarisse, you're early"

"Cassandra, you too-"

"Cass actually, i prefer cass" i corrected her, to wich she just rolled her eyes and muffled a whatever. "Thats all you are taking? One suitcase?"

"And you are taking all that? How do you plan on walking the whole way with all that? Im assuming he wont go with you" she said looking at mr bell, and its true, he could not walk the whole way with me, and i could not walk with all that alone...fuck

"....you could help m-"

"No, dont even think about it"

"C'mon Clarisse!" She didnt even answered me this time actually. "Arent you a Ares-" i looked at the driver taking the suitcases out. "A ares...type of kid? You will pass on the oportunity to demonstrate your muscles or whatever?"

She started to walk away with a bored look, did i already said fuck?

"C'mon ill do whatever! I- i dont know.. 20 dracmas!, no?, ill help you with the cleaning duty you'll eventually have when you fuck it up? I..ill do that AND ill cure you anytime you want, everyday, no matter the time!"

She stopped walking.

Yes! I knew it, one of the many problems clarisse had its that she likes to go out at night to train alone, and when she gets hurt she cant ask anyone to help her, because she would get caught

"Give me those suitcases already and shut up-" she was interrupted by a very happy me hugging her.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyouclarisse!"

I felt her hands on my arms and realized she was going to push me away, so i took a step back

"Geez Clarisse, you could've just told me to back off, dont be like that... just take these and ill take those"

I said pointing to the suitcases, and saying goodbye to mr bell.

Can i already welcome summer and his crazy energy? No? Okay.

[shawtythatluvsurgut]

hey guys. i got back from seeing my dad (i was gone all of september doing that) and realized that im $150 short on rent for this month. i lost around 50 subs from that one month i took away and i totally understand and am not mad at anyone for unsubbing, but it’s put me in a pickle for paying my rent in november. by a pickle, i mean that im $150 short. it’s embarrassing to admit this, but i miscalculated when i bought my tickets to stay longer and thought id have enough for my upcoming rent. technically i should have had enough, but losing that many subs really put a dent in my finances. i’m kinda stressing right now so if anyone can send anything id appreciate the help so so much. i will also send personalized content as a thank you. you can also help by subscribing to my OF (im back to posting somewhat regularly) so that we both benefit.

i’m sorry that the disneyland plan didn’t work out. i was looking forward to eating good, way too expensive food, but my dad’s health took a turn. that’s why i made the last minute decision to cancel disney and extend my trip in north cal. i couldn’t get a refund because disney is full of cash cows, so im kinda screwed right now. i’m glad i recalculated before the first of november hit because i can at least try to see if anyone can help.

also, i have video ideas coming to my OF. right now i want to keep my weight somewhat consistent or maybe gain slowly because i, too, have been having some minor health issues (not due to gaining, but gaining isn’t helping right now). I AM NOT LOSING WEIGHT OR PLANNING TO. I am just going to go easy on how fast i gain. i have a stuffing video planned for this month, along with my usual pictures semi-daily.

i just needed to be upfront and let everyone know what is going on with me. my dad is dying, i’m in school and i hate it, school has been taking up a LOT of my free time, i didn’t calculate my money correctly, and i got my meds switched. i feel like a zombie lately. and i may have lost a friendship/relationship that was very dear to my heart in the midst of this stress.

if i had other options, i would choose those first. but, unfortunately, i don’t. i don’t mean to sound like a bum asking y’all to help me financially or sub to my OF or whatever, but im kinda freaking out a little. so if anyone can help, even just an OF subscription, i would GREATLY appreciate it. even if it’s just for this month.

i feel so pathetic right now begging for help online, but hopefully my upfront honesty will relate to someone. sometimes saving is hard and i’m a blonde so ya know i can’t do math and idk im embarrassed. if anyone wants to buy a custom please message me on here or on OF if you’re subscribed. i’ll be putting in the work to try to bring y’all back and keep y’all satisfied. that’s a big priority for me and im sorry again to anyone who subbed to watch me eat at disneyland. i didn’t want to cancel that, but my dad was officially diagnosed with congestive heart failure on the day before i was supposed to fly down to LA and i couldn’t leave him. he’s put in the work to earn his spot back in my life and i couldn’t leave him the day he got that news. i love him and my mom despite any hardships and the last thing i could do was ditch him. i hope me being real helps you guys understand why i didn’t deliver on the disneyland content.

i understand if you are upset and you have every right to be! but i figured maybe being honest about what im going through could maybe help some of y’all build back trust with me. i feel very awkward and uncomfortable sharing such intimate information, but i think it’s what’s fair to all of you. thank you to all who have stuck around <3 and thank you to any/all who subscribe and/or send me money to help me out.

sending so much love to you all, as this has been a hard year for more people than just myself. the world needs a bit of honesty and transparency, and you all deserve that, so that’s what i’m going to give. <3

- Nico

[sexhaver]

I made a promise to myself to stop looking at your blog about two weeks ago because I found myself routinely checking it at night to read your posts and get mad at them. Idk if it’s something about your tone, but that in combination with your AI stuff would get me so pants shittingly mad.

Now that I’m two weeks out I’m like. Significantly happier.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is I learned this month that I don’t have to look at things I don’t want to look at. Have a good one!

im unironically happy for you! btw this is why everyone who quit tumblr and moved to instagram around 2016 instantly had their lives improve

[woobifykamukura]

ghdsfkjghdsf is that a common thing?

I don't really get how he'd be misdiagnosed anyway; it would need brain scans, especially since it's so rare at his age, and if anything it would have been misdiagnosed as other conditions for a while. Only going off cry-stars here- I have no expertise myself- but she's said that can happen and there was a recent case in Japan where a young guy's dementia was mistaken for depression for ages.

If we doubt Komaeda's FTD it can only be via doubting his honesty imo (but I still think he's telling the truth). I also love seeing analyses of him through the lenses of other disorders as comorbid instead of alternative diagnoses- especially autism, but I've seen interesting takes wrt OCD and BPD too- but canonically I feel like bvFTD, extreme post-traumatic stress and political radicalisation adequately explain his issues.

TO BE FAIR it probably isnt As common as i think it is, i just saw one reddit post thst explicitly claimed the FTD was a misdiagnosis and that it totally makes way more sense for komaeda to have autism and bpd, and a surprisung number of people... agreed? for some reason??

which i need to state for the record a) i am autistic myself and b) have absolutely zero problems with headcanons, even if they arent ones i ascribe to personally

what i DO have a problem with is people erasing canon neurodivergencies and/or erasing traits CENTRAL to a character in order to square-peg-round-hole the headcanon THEY have as the most correct one

"nagito has ftd and was autistic before that?" cool! neat! seeing how those two disorders being comorbid with each other could be really interesting!

"nagito does NOT have ftd, the devs were wrong, they actually wrote an autistic character and didnt realize it" stop talking.

this is very like, misanthropic i guess but after SO MUCH SHIT ive seen it just speaks to an unwillingness to empathize with or relate to anyone that isnt exactly like you. and you cant just headcanon real people around you with Misdiagnosed Autistic (most.... times....) so this pops up in fiction

like. i am autistic! i also have two (2) personality disorders, and neither is bpd. this has led to a non negligible amount of autistic people completely stereotyping my other disorders as evil in order to prop themselves up ("i thought i was a narcissist/sociopath, which wouldve been awful, but really i was just autistic! phew!!" with implicit, sometimes EXPLICIT value judgements being made)

i have had a friend i had in real life, to my face, say he didn't believe i had either personality disorder and really i was secretly just autistic

...if we had been better friends, maybe he would've known me well enough to know that that's almost... comically untrue. lol

so in my opinion there do exist a certain minority of autistic people who see autism as the only neurodivergency that Matters, or at least the one that matters the most. and the only way they can feel any sympathy for anyone else is if they are also autistic

and i know this is a minority! and i just see it a lot because i am an autist in fandom and a lot of other autistic people are also in fandom! AND that this is a mindset prone to ANY minority- most people think their Problem is the Worst Problem, it just... happens. however i am just as irrational and prone to biases as anyone else and ive chosen this as my completely irrelevant hill to die on

that one reddit post made me so goddamn mad bc of All This PLUS its double insulting when someone says "i have a special interest in psychology!" as a way to say theyre extremely knowledgable, and doing genuine analysis with the lens of "i am looking at the text and trying to make an objective diagnosis" and then STILL DO THIS!!! because they have this veneer of "im just a guy asking questions" before diving right into a weirdly consspiratory subset of "everyones an idiot about mental health except for ME"

...which tbf i dont think that about myself. i am very good at writing a wide variety of mental illness due to a combination of research and life experience BUT i could really only tell you like. actual non-surface level FACTS about aspd and to a lesser extent, npd. because thats what i chose to focus on. there are far and away lots more people that know more about me about other things, and im fine wit that

i am however also aware of this extremely hyperspecific social phenominon. and thus it is my burden to bear. my mountainous molehill.

also r/danganronpa just fucking sucks like in general. every time i see a kokichi opinion there i get a little closer to pulling the trigger. i think the real moral here is reddit is garbage and should not be used for anything other than product reviews

(also fwiw i agree w ur personal take at the end, with a lil bit of ocd tendencies that like, started off manageable and nowhere near diagnostic level badness, since things he might do to manage his cycle and even the constant thinking about it are very much reminiscent of obsessions and compulsions. but ftd in of itself can cause ocd symptoms so after that it got... worse. thats my personal take on it ^^)

[tododeku-or-bust]

So it's not a short complaint no more. Sorry. Like I said, if you think im a whiny negress and hate fandom racism mentions bc they make you uncomfortable and "race isn't real in your fun safe space" gone head and block me. That's fine. I just gotta get this off my chest (and I'm musing CALMLY) and I'll be good.

Okay. So I've been trying not to say anything bc I know how it'll be perceived. I've really pulled myself back from participating in the Patrochilles fandom outside of making my own shit, bc I recognize that shouting to the uncaring wind isn't gonna do anything. Me focusing on my own work and what makes me happy is healthier. I make my stuff, you're spared hearing my concerns. Everyone wins. Fine.

I think what fucks with me is that as a whole, specifically in the Hades portion but also in response to it, is that half of the ship is of a (poorly canonically drawn) Black man... But none of the popular voices, writers, or artists in this space.... are openly Black. Even people who have Black/Ambiguously Brown™ Patroclus in their TSoA fic usually aren't. You would think that Black voices would be valued in a space like that.

(And ik what people are gonna say. "Oh you're just mad you're not popular!" Not really lol. I got my couple people that cheer me on, and I recognize the dehumanizing song and dance that is required to be popular in white fandoms and it's not for me.)

Like I just... No one white has ever had to experience that, you know? Of having a ship with a white person and everybody in the space DOESN'T look like you. And then, like 65% of them draw the character that's supposed to look like you kinda poorly. And you're supposed to accept that, or YOU'RE the problem. "You're not even supposed to be here" is what a good chunk of the racist adjacent ship fandom has BLATANTLY said or implied about you and that character, unwilling to even draw someone that looks like you despite historical and geographical evidence of your existence to the contrary (that's a jab at some of the severely racist takes I've seen on here of Black people somehow not existing in the Mediterranean, bc Jesus Christ).

And then everyone will ignore those occasionally overt, usually covert statements and continue to laugh along and share art bc they're entertained. Like... Wow. So antiblack racism really don't bother y'all, huh? You'd rather be a racist just to fit in? That's what's cool?

And what really hurts, is that I've found that I'll have similar ideas to other people, maybe even done them first, but I don't receive that hand in community in comparison and it's been hard not to let myself believe that the being openly Black has to do with it. Even in the ship sections that aren't Hades related. Bc ik if I said something directly to people for their actions, I'll just get dogpiled for "ruining the fun" or "hurting someones feelings for their art/writing style" or some shit, so I don't bother. Like, fine, I get it. Gone head and stay racist on your own time lmao 🤣

This was supposed to be short. My bad. I guess I'm just wondering if I wanna stick around bc I don't like self-questioning the value of my humanity, having to stay at the edge of a place that was supposed to be fun. Okay, I'm glad I got that out 😮‍💨 I feel better now.

[mvrdac]

“Cariño”

“pero bebe yo solo quiero a ti, no a ella”

“But baby I only want you, not her”

today me and miko had plans today. As one of them meeting her friends, producers, everybody today. “oye ya nos vamos a ir, cambiase.” <> “hey we are going to leave, go change.” “okay está bien miko!” <> “okay sounds good miko!” Going into my room, deciding which outfit to wear. One was a shirt that had cute hearts on it with a pair of baggy jeans. The other was a blue shirt with daisy’s on it with a skirt. I chose the shirt that had cute hearts on them. Coming out as a greeting miko with a kiss “ya estoy lista vamos!” <> “I’m ready let’s go!” I gave her a peck on the cheek. “Oye! Eso es mi cosita!” <> “Hey! That’s my thing!” I say bye to my cats (always) we get into the car, and start driving to her studio.

—🩷—🩷—🩷—🩷—🩷—🩷—🩷—🩷—🩷—🩷—

I start getting nervous in the car. “porque estás nerviosa bebe, todo va estar bien mami” <> “why are you nervous baby, everything is going to be okay mama” we start going inside, she first introduced me mariana, her best friend who has been doing everything with her since the first day. On going I meet Caleb and Mauro, her producers who have been helping her since day one. “Y quien es ella?” <> “and who is she?” Someone says. “Ella es mi novia” miko says <> “she’s my girlfriend” “tienes novia?, ay que pena podría haber tu y yo.” <> “you have a girlfriend?, aw what a shame could’ve been you and me.” “Miko..” “oye mejor que ya introduzcan a los otros!” Mariana said <> “hey it’s better for them to introduce the others!” “Yeah!” As Mauro agrees.

—🩷—🩷—🩷—🩷—🩷—🩷—🩷—🩷—🩷—🩷—

I give that one girl a look. As I turn around, we start meeting the other friends that have helped on miko’s career as a rapper. “Miko! Ven aquí te quiero contar algo.” <> “Miko! Come here I want to tell you something.” “okay! Espera me aquí va vengo bebe” <> “okay! Wait here I’m coming back baby” she give me a kiss before she heads of. Mariana starts talking to me about how did we meet and all that stuff. I keep looking at miko and that one girl. She keeps touching miko a lot. I start to get jealous. But I focus on what mariana is telling me. I tell myself one last look. I turn around and see the girl being all over her. I began getting furious. “Oye me estás escuchando?” <> “hey are you listening to me?” marina said “si estoy escuchando!” “Yeah I am listening!.” “mariana oye no mi estoy sintiendo bien mejor que yo y miko voy a la casa..” <> “mariana hey im not feeling well it’s better if me and miko go home..” <> “okay esta bien!” <> “okay sounds good” “hope you feel better!” mariana says. I give her a smile. As I walk over to miko with that girl all over her..” “miko no mi estoy sintiendo bien vamos a la casa.” <> “miko im not feeling good, let’s home.” “Ay que pena, ya pues adiós miko!” <> “Aw what a shame, okay well bye miko!” The girl said. “bye! no te sintieses bien mami, entonces vamos a la casa.” <> “bye! You don’t feel good mama, let’s go to the house then.”

—🩷—🩷—🩷—🩷—🩷—🩷—🩷—🩷—🩷—🩷—

I don’t talk to her the whole car ride. As we got inside, I go lay down in our room. “Que pasa mami, esta molesta conmigo, porque?” <> “what happened mami, are you mad at me, why?” “no estoy molesta.” <> “I’m not mad.” “No mientes lo puedo ver.” <> “Don’t lie I can see.” “Tú quieres sabe porque estoy molesta es porque está niña estaba ensimismada a ti tocando te todos los lados!” <> “ do you wanna know why I’m mad, because that girl was all over you and touching you of all different directions!” “Aw mi bebe está celosita de otra mujeres.” <> “Aw my baby is jealous of other woman.” I turn around and don’t look at her. “mami” “todos saben” <> “mamá” “everyone knows” I try to protest “pero ella!” <> “but her!” “pero bebe yo solo quiero a ti, no a ella” <> “But baby I only want you, not her” “ahora bien aquí te voy a bañar te con besitos!” <> “now come here I’m going to shower you with kisses!”

CUTE ENDING LOL

(first fic) 🫣

[turnin9pag3]

THIS IS NOT ABOUT HARRY POTTER

i feel i have this inexplicable sadness born in my veins. its been stuck there making a home inside me since birth and the people that are supposed to help have done nothing but make it worse. im alone. painfully so. im everyones second choice and i have lots of friends but a friend to all is a friend to none. those who claim they are my closest are the ones moving to hurt me most. it sucks because i still long for the girl who was my entire life for a year. my best friend and i miss her. she took the thing i wanted most in this world from me and told me i was crazy. my other friend tells me she was wrong and i deserve better but now that friend is doing the same thing to me and thinks that i don’t know. but i do know and i almost wish i didn’t because that would make this so much easier. im so tired. all the time im tired. and im sick. i keep waiting for a chance that never wants to come and im good but not good enough and im funny but not funny enough and im pretty but not pretty enough. im second always. i feel uncomfortable expressing this to the people i actually know so i opt for anonymous posting on a ghosted app full of people i’ve never met. i miss being young. not to say im old im still a child by all means but i miss 7th grade when i always had someone to talk to and i hung out with someone every weekend and school didn’t make me depressed and my friends weren’t toxic and i liked random boys in my class instead of obsessing over the same boy for 10 months. when i blew out the candles on my 15th birthday i wished for him. my best friend and the girl standing 2 feet away watching me is the reason i never got him. shes no longer my best friend but god i wish she was. i miss being at her house everyday. i miss walking to the park with her. i miss getting ice cream after school. i miss sleepovers on school nights. i miss i miss i miss. it feels like thats all i do nowadays. i just miss. i don’t have any constance and i feel like im not doing anything right. i want someone genuine who isn’t going to stab me in the back or leave me. i want someone who can be there a lot of the time and not shit talk me to others. i need friends who wont keep secrets. i need friends who want to be around me. i need people who wont laugh at me when i speak. i need people who wont judge my every move. its hard to be confident when everyone is shoving your insecurities down your throat every 5 seconds. i don’t know what to do with myself anymore. i feel remorse for the way i act but i don’t know how to fix it. i just for once want someone to love me the way i love them. i want someone to want me the way i want them. i need someone to like me like i like them. i cant go on being next best every time. the school year is ending and i feel like im going to be forgotten. these people who claim to be my friends barley spare me a glance outside of classes and i don’t want to have to talk first. i don’t know why people keep me around if they so obviously hate me. why do you try and get me to like him if you’re going to try and get with him anyways? why do you ask me to sit by you if you’re going to get mad at me when i speak anyways? why do you text me things if you’re not going to tell me what its about anyways? why do you want to be included in conversations that don’t concern you if you’re going to be rude anyways? why do you entitle yourself to my conversations and friends but when i do the same thing its a problem? and why do i stick around if im treated like shit by you all the time.

[romchat]

following up on my prior ask! i found the luyang arc pivotal for xff and xh (i mean, who wouldnt? we got that beautiful rain scene!), but so much of their conversations confused me because of the way they use metaphors and dance around answers! i apologize if i come off as spamming ur inbox, lol!

some things i wanted to understand more:

-ep 16 tearoom: when xff talks about him inviting her over after every "show" and how what he says is apathetic but always hits the mark and makes her in debt. but now hes showing his cards and asks him if he wants to join?

ep 17 in the rain: when she says "you never tell the truth" and he says "what about you? even after drinking you havent told the truth once" what is she referring to? him i can kinda guess but her? idk!

-ep 17 eating dumplings: when xff offers to invite him to watch a play (her helping the ye family) and he says "i dont watch plays" why is he mad?! lol and why does she respond "if you like these buns and want them in the future, ill settle everything" when he says that when its found out to be a "misunderstanding" who does she think has to take the blame (referring to himself as he would tip them off)

-ep 18 eating dumplings (again): when she asks about how he tried cases in the past and he tells her she doesnt have to make him put up an act before she confesses? where did this come from? did i forget something in the past?? and then even more... "today onward, i am once again despised by everyone" what does he mean? when wasnt he? why does she respond with luyang is beautiful and the night duty is coming??

idk theres so much i think i grasp but then i relisten to it and confuse myself lmao! theres definitely more (like the huixiang pawn speech she had with him) but the luyang parts im most interested in! so sorry that this is so long and such word vomit!! thank you so much if u do take the time to respond! i think you have such a good comprehension and a way with words that seriously has added to my enjoyment of this show SO much more. thank you!!!!!

I welcome all word vomits but oh boy you're really stretching my memory here 😂

Ep. 16 Tearoom

Fangfei is still annoyed at Duke Su because of her jealousy over seeing him with another woman at the brothel in Episode 15. In that episode, she had assumed he was following her to Luyang but then thought differently once she saw him with Wu Lan. I think her calling out his sudden "apathy" is essentially her implicitly asking if their odd little relationship has changed (i.e., why are you acting differently?). Which is why he asks:

Duke Su: Are you getting angry at me? Fangfei: Can't I? Duke Su: Your words are really pleasant then. (smiles)

He just confirmed that she's behaving the way she is because she's jealous, which is why he finds her words "pleasant". So he reassures her by telling her who Wu Lan is even though she has nothing to do with Fangfei's dealings with the Ye family--he's like a husband keeping his wife informed about his struggles at work lol

Ep. 17 In the Rain

He's referring to her real identity as Fangfei (which he's known about for a while but wants to hear directly from her about) and I believe she's referring more generally to all his private dealings, which keeps entangling him in her plots (e.g., General Biao, who they had that drinking competition with).

Ep. 17 Dumplings

This was the day after Fangfei's drunken flirtatiousness in the rain so my guess is that he was fishing for her to reveal her true feelings about him ("does that mean you remember what happened that night?") and he gets frustrated when she friend-zones him by wanting his help for her scheming versus talking about this shift in their relationship. Especially since one of the last times they talked about theater, it was when he tricked her into being his cover during the theater attack and she told that him that she now clearly sees what their relationship actually is. Her talking about the theater after their almost kiss probably feels like taking one step forward and two steps back for him!

But Fangfei's "If you like these buns, I'll settle everything" is ultimately her asking for his help to execute her plan and trying to settle the score. Remember, at this point in the drama, she's always counting how much he helps her so she can pay him back and not have to owe him. (Which is why one of my favorite flirting moments of theirs is in Episode 16 when he swoops in during her drinking competition and tells her that his help won't be put on her tab.)

Ep. 18 Dumplings Part Deux

Oh that's just another flirtatious way of giving Duke Su permission to ask her questions about her real identity! By this episode, he's interrogated her at the nunnery as well as his residence but they're always interrupted and/or she leaves when he gets too personal. She's telling him she's willing to share more about herself because of how much he has helped her up to this point.

I'm not quite sure what "today onward, I am once again despised by everyone" refers to (maybe if the palace finds out how he has helped Fangfei given that I think at this point he knows of Princess Wanning's involvement in Fangfei's death?) but I wonder if Fangfei's night duty comment is her reflecting on how even though she just experienced momentary success there is still a long road of challenges ahead of her. That's why Duke Su reassures her that she's strong and a survivor ("right now, all the lights in Luyang are on. If you were a restless spirit, you would have long been reduced to ashes") and she promises him that she "will live on well."

--

Hope these ramblings were helpful!

[sneezemutual]

boyfriend (and myself) obs from earlier today because its been a while!

job obs this time around!! my boyfriend and i are in university, but we also work a part-time job together. (a little corny, i know that, but we happen to like being around each other, ok?)

just in case you missed my lore post and were curious for reasons, he is studying nursing and i am studying mortuary science and biochemistry; we are both part-time managers at the cinemas together as well

now, to the good stuff…

he and another one of our coworkers were making pizzas and i was a few feet away at the air fryer when i heard him ask the coworker, “can you hold this for a sec?” as he pushed the ladle he was using towards him. he looked a tad confused and went “hm?” to which my boyfriend tells him, “i have to sneeze.”

naturally, now, im tuned in all the way

he typically isnt a loud sneezer so i was kind of (pleasantly) surprised when i clearly heard him gasp before he sneezed from like six feet away

he has what i would consider a pretty cute sneeze, always with the chiew! or shiew! at the end but this time around, it was reminiscent of a cough-ish-sounding sneeze? but not to the point where it was not attractive (to me) or that it didnt sound like a sneeze or anything; it was just harsh and sounded like one syllable, instead of soft and more drawn out like his sneezes usually are

if i had to try to spell it, it would be something like, “ahihSHH!” one of those sneezes where you can just hear it fucking hurt the persons throat

the coworker that was holding the ladle immediately started laughing and said, “jesus christ, dude!” so, he was definitely expecting a smaller sneeze too. me and two other workers in the kitchen yelled bless you, he yelled back thank you and glared at our coworker, pretending he was mad at him for laughing

i have never heard him sneeze like that before, so i am guessing some ingredient in the kitchen got to him? and i cant think of the last time that i heard him announce his sneezes either, he does it sometimes (but its typically when there is a lot of other people around, for some reason)

alright alright, now its my turn

not as intricate or entertaining but it happened

a customer mustve had cat hair on their clothes (which is a fairly common experience) and i was sneezing and my makeup was running comically for like an hour after (already aforementioned in posts earlier today) 😭

i sneezed like 30 times spaced out across the hour (which is a lot for me sneezing wise because i didnt take any allergy medication 😭 i usually do but i dont like to take it then drive so i occasionally forget. i took some after this lol)

my boyfriend blessed me or put his hand on my back every time he was around along with another friend/coworker of ours who gets a kick out of my sneezing fits. lots of things make me sneeze so everyone is used to it happening by now and theyre allowed to make fun of me a little

snzfucker without mental block seems like it should be an oxymoron, but i have no problem sneezing in public. im so used to it that even with the fetish, its never made me too uncomfortable. unless its like a situation that anyone would be uncomfortable sneezing in (quiet room, important conservation etc)

[thebisexualdogdad]

hi! love your writting, super glad you're keeping the male reader tag alive- there's so few of those out here.

prompts:

39. tell me something i dont know about you

+ "when im with you i feel like myself. i feel like every side of me is present and accepted. and i feel good about it- i feel good about who i am when im with you"

with Stiles x ftm reader?

fluffy & a little hurt comfort-y, with Stiles letting the reader know that despite dysphoria, he sees him exactly the way he wants to be seen.

thanks!

Stiles Stilinski x FTM!reader

You and Stiles had been friends since you were in diapers, your dads worked together so when they found out they were both expecting kids around the same time it was basically fate that brought you two together.

You finally started dating your freshman year of high school, Stiles had been crushing on you since kindergarten after all and Scott was the one who talked him into actually telling you how he felt but two years later when you were ready to come out as trans he was who you were most terrified of telling.

You're laying in his bed, just cuddling and listening to music, weeks have gone by and you still haven't found the right words to tell him the truth.

"Have you ever thought about how crazy it is that we've literally known each other our entire lives?" Stiles states.

"No one knows me better than you do," you reply despite knowing you have a huge secret you're keeping from him.

"There has to be something left to learn still, come on Y/N tell me something I don't know about you," he chuckles.

You're silent for a moment, Stiles believing you're just thinking really hard to find some weird obscure fact about yourself but finally you reply with, "when I'm with you I feel like myself. I feel like every side of me is present and accepted and I feel good about it- I feel good about who I am when I'm with you."

"Woah that was unexpectedly deep, where did that come from?" Stiles laughs.

You sit up, Stiles suddenly getting concerned at the change of energy in the room.

"There's something I've been trying to tell you for a while now and I don't know how you're gonna take it," you say nervously.

"Hey, you know you can tell me anything," he says rubbing your arm to try to comfort you.

"Stiles… I'm trans," you blurt out.

Stiles looks at you for a moment trying to process what you said, "okay… can you tell me what that means exactly for you?"

"I uh… never really felt like a girl you know even as a kid but it wasn't until about a year ago when I realized that what I was feeling was gender dysphoria."

"So you're a guy?" He asks.

"Yeah I am," you say looking away from him assuming he wouldn't want to be with you anymore.

Stiles puts his hands on your cheek and gently tilts your face to look at him again, softly kissing you.

"You aren't mad at me?" You question.

"Of course not," he assures you, "I love you, I have since we were five years old and nothing will ever change that. I see you for exactly who you are and if you say you're a guy then that's awesome, no matter what I will always love you."

You just smile and kiss him again, feeling the love radiating off of him.

"Have you told anyone else?" He asks.

"No you're the first person I wanted to tell."

"Do you want me to be there when you tell people cause I will fight anyone who doesn't support my boyfriend," he says.

"I like when you call me that," you chuckle.

"You mean my boyfriend? Better get to used it cause I'm going to be telling everyone that I have the coolest boyfriend in the world," he smiles, pulling you in close and laying you guys back in the bed to cuddle again.

Of course it took him some time to adjust but he really was the rock in your support system and even spent an entire week pulling all nighters researching how to be the best ally and partner to you.

He was there for you when you told your parents and your friends, he helped you picked out a new name and was always the first to correct anyone who used your dead name or the wrong pronouns.

You couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend.

[ha1taniwh0re]

I hope I'm the first requester for Winx content...

I have ideas.

Palladium is your dad and doesn't like that Ogron is flirting with you and tries to stop the relationship that happens and finally comes around but is very protective. Can have smut between Orgon and the reader if you would like maybe after a wedding. ;)

OR

You catch Valtors attention but you're with Palladium until one night you had enough of them fighting over you and decide you could have both of them. Can be very smutty with no direct plot hehe.

Ah, Im so sorry for taking so long. Hope you like it.

We have a deal

When Ogron and his guys attacked Alfea winx and professors didn't know what to do. My dad have never found out that I met this guys earlier in my life.

"Well well well... What we have here boyss??!! Isn't that my little (name)??" Ogron said.

Everyone were confused at first but I didn't bothered I transformed into my enchantix form to be prepared to attack if I need to.

"Woahh there babe it's me your friend Ogron, remeber we met in your dorm when I fucked you, ah I loved when you screamed my name" He said.

I blushed a little and blast my powers at him.

"Why are you here Ogron??" I asked.

He teleported In front of me and kissed me in front of everyone, I love this man so I kissed him back as all fairys were shocked.

"(name)!!!! STOP THIS NONSENSE I WON'T LET THIS HAPPENING!!"

My dad Palladium said and tried to break us apart but I stopped him.

"If you let me marry your daughter, I promise we won't hurt any fairy" Ogron said.

My dad looked at Faragonda to know what to answer, he doesn't want to give his daughter to some villain. Faragonda nodded and Palladium just sighed.

"If you break promise I will hunt you, but if you break mu daughter's heart I will kill you" he said.

Ogron smiled and after just a few days wedding happened there in Alfea, everyone were happy. They weren't safe when some villains were in Alfea but they were happy for me. When wedding ended Ogron took me to our home. I went straight to bedroom so I can take off my wedding dress. Ogron came behind me and started kissing my neck.

"What are you doing" I ajsed and chuckled.

He looked into mirror in front of us.

"Trying to have fun on my wedding night" he smirked.

With that he pulled my dress down, took me in his hands and put me on bed. He started kissing me everywhere and stopped when he came to my pussy. He looked at me for a second.

"Are you a virgin?"

I blushed a little and just nodded. He smirked and started giving me a head. His tongue was feeling so good just a few minutes later I came on his face and he licked every sip of it and kissed me so I can taste myself. When I wanted to give him a "reward" he stopped me and just put his dick inside of me.

"OH MY--" I cryed.

He started kissing me everywhere on my face to calm me down.

"It will be okey trust me"

With that he started moving. As time passed he started moving faster and faster and in few minutes he filled me witth his seeds. He layed next to me and hugged me.

"Are you feeling okey?"

"Yes, thanks for asking"

He kissed me and took us to have a good bath. He was sitting behind me and bath me while I was half asleep. When he finished us both he dressed us up and took us to bed. We fall asleep really fast. In the morning other side of bed was empty, I came downstairs and saw Ogron with his boys eating.

"Good morning everyone"

"Ah there is my favourite fairy" Ogron said.

I stood next to him and he kissed my stomach as his hand was on my ass.

"Good morning (name), your night was fun as we heard" boys said.

I looked at Ogron a little bit mad.

"Oh come on they are my boys, who will they tell? Your dad?" Ogron said and we all laughed.

[barzfrommarz]

Why do I still love c!wilbur so much?

small essay type post to just gush about c!wilbur

One thing that always surprises me is why I stayed with c!wilbur

Before cc!wilbur even confirmed the allegations, I dropped him and lovejoy because it was becoming way too stressful and way more obvious it was him even though he had became a special interest and a huge part of my life

So why didnt I do the same with c!wilbur?

Better question, why couldn’t I?

Maybe it’s because back in March of 2022, my online friends had just stopped being friends with me a week prior. Specifically on March 17th 2022 (correct me if i’m wrong) the first stream that kick started the apology streams happened. I think that’s was what reignited my interest fully, since I had changed myself so much for my ex friends since they hated dsmp so much and it was basically my entire personality

It was also an outlet to interact with people, since these specific friends were my only friends at the time.

It was so nice to have a community of people who love the same thing I love. Making art, fanfiction, theories even songs. It was great and it was definitely one of the best times of my life (in the recent years)

The days leading up to the final were the greatest but also the most nerve wracking, esp since I wanted c!wilbur to have a good ending and basically not die

Waiting for the stream to start on Sept 3rd 2022 was so exciting, I remember sitting in offline chat just waiting for a fucking minecraft stream to start. Something I had never done

Now im not gna critique the ending in this post. I have my gripes with the apology tour in general but thats not what this post is about.

It was surprising to watch. Not what I had expected but it had its charm and I grew on it eventually. Going on twitter afterwards kinda sucked but it stopped eventually

The community was still going strong. Even if our favorite character is completely retired. The love and passion was still there, especially for me. It seemed like my love for c!wilbur just got more intense

After the dsmp ended and 2023 rolled around, thats when I noticed things kinda slowing down a bit. I know why of course. Loveshit was kicking off for William so its obvious why more people gradually moved on from the dsmp and fan content slowed down. Including me!

I wont go more into it but it was disappointing for me as someone who just couldn't move on from c!wilbur and the dsmp to see everyone on all the main platforms I used move on. Yeah tumblr was still active but I didn't use it as much back then

Then of course, the allegations came out

Im not proud of how I acted during the first night. You could say I was very very delusional and willing to make up excuses and drown out a victim all for some white guy I didn't know.

Thankfully, the next morning I came to my senses a bit and left, soon after joining everyone in just waiting for him to respond. Luckily I had some great mutuals on twitter and we were all there for eachother, even though I was the least affected since I was more mad at the fact I wasted years of my life on him than upset.

You all know how the story ends, he responded and everyone hated on him blah blah blah

but throughout all of that, I still stayed with c!wilbur. Not any other bursona. I cant engage with any of the other bursonas because they remind me too much of william, so why is c!wilbur different?

Well one obvious factor is my autism. C!Wilbur and the Dsmp is one of my biggest and longest lasting special interest so I dont think its going away for atleast 2-4 more years atp. Who knows maybe ill be 24 years old still yapping about a minecraft server that I liked when I was 11

I also think its because of the dsmp community on tumblr. Yeah the c!wilbur part has gotten understandably smarter but the people who have stayed are awesome and cool and so creative but most importantly strong

We have all been through it. From the allegations to the shit we get from outsiders for showing slight interest in c!wilbur and the dsmp in general.

I also see it as one massive fuck you to William. Taking his creation for ourselves then actively hating on him in the process. Shipping the ship he has gone on record to say its not canon is also pretty cool

So I guess I just want to say thank you. I could not have kept my interest alive if it wasn't for you guys continuing to create despite the creator being a degenerate. This stupid little character has single handedly kept my passion for creation and art going so strong. If you look through any of my recent sketchbooks most of the pages have him on it. I got into wrighting and reading fanfiction because of c!wilbur (and c!tntduo but we dont talk about the fanfictions ive read). My point is this character means alot to me so to all the remaining c!wilbur fans...

Thank you, truly

[gummy-axolotl]

I literally cannot with my roommate. I'm practically babysitting her. She doesn't check her email, she doesn't know how to register for classes, she sleeps in until noon and gets mad at me because I have morning classes. She made fun of me for cooking actual food for myself while she ate a microwaved tortilla with a slice of American cheese in it. She doesn't understand that when you leave the fucking apartment you need to lock it. She is completely helpless and doesn't know how to function. I hate it. I had to go around the apartment and take charge because we had a damage report thing due TOMORROW that NOBODY DID so I had to do it by myself and make sure everyone signed it. Then I had to walk all the way to the apartment office to turn it in. None of the three girls I share a bathroom with ever replace the toilet paper and none of them thought to mention that the toilet has been leaking the past few days. I'm so sick of living with these actual fucking children when I'm THE YOUNGEST ONE AND IM THE ONLY ONE THAT KNOWS HOW TO DO SHIT. The only person in my 7 person apartment who seems to know what they're doing is Rachel, she's Brazilian and is totally on top of everything. Uhg. Anyway. Yeah I gotta call maintenance fucking again. And I'm not going to help fucking Sharlene sign up for classes. She can figure it out herself. She didn't even know registration was tomorrow. Because she doesn't check her fucking VERY INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT SCHOOL EMAIL. She also evidently did not know that you aren't allowed to live in the apartments during the summer if you aren't taking any classes so good luck I guess.

Alright rant over

@ all my moots who haven't moved out PLEASE teach yourselves how to cook. Please check vitally important emails. For the love of god don't be like my roommate.