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ptersparkers · 4 years ago

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boston

summary: as a recurring visitor from boston to the outer banks and one of kiara’s childhood friends, you get to know the pogue gang for the summer. oh, and it seems like jj has a thing for you.

warnings: mentions of alcohol and typos, probably.

a/n: i hope boston doesn’t throw people off because i used it as nickname (i think it’s cute). and im not even from boston. ALSO WTF THIS IS 4K WORDS.

add yourself to my taglist!

this is my gif, please credit if using!

You’re starting to think that coming to North Carolina for the summer wasn’t as fun as you remembered.

The water touched your fingertips as you leaned away from the boat, sticking your hand out to dip it into the cold water. It was too humid for you, for starters. You were used to the colder weather of Boston and often found yourself in long sleeves and jeans with boots with an extra sweater in your car. When it got warm, a pair of leggings and a t-shirt sufficed. North Carolina’s outer banks required swimming suits, shorts, and see-through shirts in order to avoid overheating. That wasn’t exactly your style.

Your parents insisted on having you do something with your summer instead of lounging around and hanging out with people you’d see on a daily basis during the school year. There wasn’t much to do here other than drink and help your relatives on the boat with their fishing company, and the idea of working for free didn’t seem so amazing as it did when you were a child. This was the first summer you’d be spending in the outer banks for the entirety. While you and your parents travelled here for a few weeks, you were the only one staying behind until it was time to go back for school.

In all honesty, you hadn’t recalled much about the place nor the people who lived here. You were aware of the “Kooks” and “Pogues,” and the unofficial war raging between the two groups. What you gathered was that your family lived civilly between the two, not quite in either territory. If you weren’t mistaken, you were welcomed on either side of the island without drawing too much attention to yourself.

Kiara, or Kie, who was your childhood best friend, was the only person you were even remotely close to, and that was overstating it. She resembled the summer camp friend who you barely spoke to until it was time to go away for summer camp. She lived in Figure Eight but hung with the Pogue crowd, from what you understood.

You recalled meeting her for the first time at age eleven, the first time your family had made it a tradition to travel to North Carolina. Your family had wandered to The Wreck, the restaurant her family owned, and became friends because you were the only child in the building and her father had forced her to escape from her shell of a bedroom and spend some time outside. Eleven-year-old you was ecstatic to find another person to spend your summers with, and thus a friendship was born.

“Y/N, you okay there?” your uncle had asked. Pulling yourself out of your daydreams, you whipped your head back and wiped your hand on your shorts.

“I’m fine, Uncle Jim. Just thinking, is all,” you replied. Uncle Jim laughed and pulled the rope from out of the water and asked you to open the ice bin for him to put the fresh fish he had caught.

“Special order for the Camerons,” he explained. “Ward offered to pay me double if we could have this in by this afternoon.”

“So that’s why you pulled me out of bed so early,” you teased. “Mom and dad just left and you’re already putting me to work.”

You closed the ice chest and watched as Uncle Jim put away the cage neatly in the back before wiping his hands on a white cloth towel.

“You know this job like the back of your hand. Might as well put you to good use.”

“Yeah,” you said, sighing. “It’s weird being here without them.”

“Good weird or bad weird?”

You shrugged. “It’s just different.”

“I know you wanted to spend your summer in Boston, but your Aunt Camille and I are happy you’re staying until September.” You smiled and gave him a side hug.

“Yeah, I’m happy to see you two. It’s just that I’m growing up and want to spend time with my friends before we all leave to college, you know?” Uncle Jim started to steer the boat top the main land and nodded.

“I hear ya. Mind dropping the fish off at the Cameron residence after I clean it up?”

You shook your head and watched as the island grew bigger as the boat approached the dock. When Uncle Jim docked the boat, you jumped out and told him you’d be getting a bite at The Wreck, hoping to see if Kiara happened to be working. The door chimed and you could see a few people seated at tables with she was preparing smoothies behind the juice bar.

“You always look like you’re thinking so deeply,” you said, taking a seat at the bar.

Kiara looked up and dropped the banana she was holding and wiped her hand on a towel, the biggest smile painting her lips as she ran behind the bar to embrace you. You laughed and reciprocated, giving her a gentle squeeze as she held you in a near lockdown.

“Two years, Y/N. It’s been two very long years,” she said.

“I wish I could’ve stayed longer last summer,” you said. “My grandpa called us to say my grandma had broken her hip and we flew out the next morning.”

“Is she okay?” she asked.

You nodded. “I think he was just scared but it was probably for the best that we went back home.”

“So I hear you’ll be here for the whole summer, right? I heard our dads talking last night.”

“I can’t tell whether I’m excited about that or not. Happy to be here with you but not happy about working on a fishing boat. You know how sensitive my stomach is.” Kiara laughed and walked back behind the bar, resuming making the smoothie she had halted to welcome you.

“Don’t I know it. Well, when you and I aren’t working we can hang out and I can introduce you to my friends,” she said. “I think you’d really like them.”

“God, I hope so. I’m gonna need friends if I’m going to be here for three months.”

“John B’s kind of like our ring leader,” she explained before turning the blender on. She poured the drink and continued. “He’s kind of like you. A little mischievous but he’s keen for leadership. Pope’s the smart aleck. He knows everything about anything and overthinks when we do something spontaneous.” Kiara gave you a look.

“That’s because my parents were always here!” you said in mock defense, raising your hands.

Kiara laughed. “Then there’s Sarah, who you met before. She’s cool though, not like her Kook friends. We weren’t friends before you left. Then there’s JJ. He’s kind of all over the place and there’s not really a way I can describe him. You just have to experience him for yourself.”

“As long as I have a fun summer without getting in trouble, I think I’ll be fine,” you said.

“Smoothie?” Kiara asked. You nodded and took out your wallet, but she shook her head.

“I’m pretty sure my dad would bite my head off if you paid for anything here,” she said. “Your mom did help advertise for us.”

“How about a tip,” you said, putting a five dollar bill into a glass jar. Kiara rolled her eyes but grinned.

“The Pogues and I are gonna hang out on Pope’s boat, if you wanna come. We’re just gonna hang out and eat, probably.”

“I’ll have to ask my uncle but I’m sure he’ll be fine with it,” you said, taking a sip of your smoothie.

“It really was nice getting to see you again,” Kiara said. “I think you’re probably my only other girl friend, aside from Sarah. God knows a girl needs her time away from testosterone.”

“I’m gonna be at Sarah’s later this afternoon to drop off some fish. I think her dad paid a lot of money for it, and I will never understand that.”

She laughed. “Well with that kind of money, I guess you wouldn’t need to think twice about paying for fish.”

You hopped off of the seat and waved goodbye before heading home.

***

When the sky turned into a shade of deep orange, you double checked to see that your phone was fully charged before slipping on your shoes and grabbing a blanket plus the bag of snacks you had purchased earlier that day. You waved at Uncle Jim and Aunt Camille, promising them you’d be safe with Kiara before you locked the front door and slipped the keys into your bag.

From your recollection, Pope’s boat was fairly large and Kiara told you it would have lights strung up so it wouldn’t be too hard to miss. The dock was quiet with the exception of fireflies buzzing in the air and the faint sound of laughter in the distance.

You could see a group of boys and Kiara lounging around with beer in their hands and you were unsure of how to approach them. Luckily, Kiara saw you in the corner of her eye and rushed down to greet you.

“Thank God you’re here,” she said. “Boys are annoying and I need some company. Here, let me get your bag.”

You handed her the bag and climbed onto the boat, aware of three pairs of eyes following you. Suddenly feeling a little self conscious about yourself, you waved awkwardly at the three boys.

“Don’t be weird, you guys,” Kiara said, rolling her eyes. “That’s Pope. Brains of our operation. You two are more alike, I think.”

“Nice to meet you,” he said, tipping his hat at you.

“That’s John B,” she said as you waved at him. “He’s kinda of like you when you start talking about something you’re passionate about.” You began to blush at how Kiara was introducing you to her friends.

“Any friend of Kiaras is a friend to us,” he said, grinning.

“And that’s JJ,” she said, pointing at the blonde who was too busy looking at you to speak. “He’s, well, JJ.”

He scoffed. “These two get great introductions and I get ‘that’s JJ’?” he asked, using his fingers as faux quotation marks. Kiara shrugged.

“I happen to think I’m great, thank you very much,” he said sarcastically before winking at you. You gave him a soft grin and sat next to her, unfolding the blanket and placing yourself on it.

“And this is Y/N Y/L/N, probably the smartest one out of the five of us. She’s from Boston and comes here every summer with her parents.”

“It’s usually for a week or two to visit my aunt and uncle but this time I’m spending the entire summer here,” you explained.

“Why’s that?” asked Pope.

“My parents thought it would be good to not spend my time indoors and God knows my uncle will put me to work.”

“She’s Jim’s niece,” Kiara said.

John B’s eyes lit up. “Jim’s niece! That’s right, I remember he said you were coming to work for him this summer. He’s such a legend. How he and Camille live between us and the Kooks is beyond me. Love that guy.”

You beamed, opening a bag of popcorn. “He’s pretty great, isn’t he?”

“So how’d you and Kiara meet?” JJ asked.

“We were the only kids in The Wreck when it first opened,” she said. “Dad forced me to go outside and Y/N’s parents forced her to do the same and we just clicked.”

“So what’s Boston like?” John B asked.

“Jesus, one question at a time,” Kiara said, rolling her eyes.

“Cold, for the most part. I live on the edge of the city so I’m between suburban area and the metropolitan. It’s kind of the best of both worlds.”

“Outer banks is a wake up call,” Pope joked.

“It’s really different than what I’m used to, but this is my sixth summer out here,” you said. “And this time I came prepared with the right clothes.”

Kiara bursted out laughing. “When we were twelve, she insisted on bringing sweaters and jeans because that’s all she owned. For two weeks straight she had to borrow my clothes.” The boys chuckled.

“I’m not all that used to wearing shorts,” you said, gesturing to your clothes. “But I guess I like to lounge around in oversized shirts, so it’s a win-win.”

“Beer?” JJ asked, holding a bottle. You shook your head.

“Nah, I’m good. But thank you for offering.” He quirked his eyebrow but put it back in the cooler.

“Damn, I’ve never been off of this damn island,” said John B. “Let alone a big city.”

“It’s great, honestly,” you began, “I feel like I’m unimportant and that leaves me with so much room to grow. Nobody has any real expectations from me because I’m just another stranger. And I’m starting to sound like a cliche.”

JJ chuckled and shook his head. “Not a cliche. It’s nice to get to know someone who’s not from here.”

“God knows the Kooks aren’t welcoming,” said Pope. “But never mind them.”

“Sarah’s not coming,” Kiara said, looking up from her phone. “Said she’s too tired to make the ‘treacherous’ walk.”

“Bummer,” you said, pouting. “I haven’t seen her in so long. She wasn’t at the house when I went earlier.”

“I’m sure you’ll see her soon,” said Kiara.

“Oh goodness,” you said, shivering. “I didn’t think it would be cold tonight.” You rubbed your upper arms with your palms and tried to move to feel some friction.

“Take my jacket,” JJ said, reaching behind him to grab his discarded windbreaker.

“Thanks,” you said softly, a little confused that a stranger would let you wear his jacket.

“Damn, JJ. You’ve got broad shoulders,” John B joked, looking at how big the jacket was compared to you.

“It’s two sizes bigger than I am,” JJ said said, taking a swig of his beer.

“It’s perfect,” you said, looking between JJ and John B. “Thanks, JJ.”

“Don’t mention it,” he said. You looked away to speak to Kiara and didn’t notice JJ checking you out with the jacket you had put on.

“So you think Y/N’s attractive,” Pope said, leaning in and whispering.

“Pfft, what?” JJ asked, shaking his head.

“C’mon, dude. It’s just a matter of time before you and her, you know,” he said, making a crude gesture before laughing. JJ shoved him and laughed along.

“It’s not like that,” he said. Pope raised his eyebrow.

“Oh?”

“It’s not like that either! Jeez, Pope.”

“Whatever you say, man,” said Pope, leaning back and opening another bottle of beer.

An hour had flown by and you yawned, the entire group silently understanding that it was probably too late to stay up. Pope had left ten minutes earlier after his dad had called and promised to see the rest of you tomorrow.

“This was fun,” you said to Kiara, John B, and JJ. “I really like you guys.”

“But I’m the best,” said Kiara, striking a pose that made you laugh.

“And no one’s taking that title away from you,” you replied. You folded the blanket and began to walk off of the boat with JJ offering his hand for you to step down. You took it and noticed how unusually soft they were. You started to walk back to your house before abruptly turning around.

“Oh, JJ! Wait, let me give you your jacket back,” you said, dropping the bag you were carrying. JJ laughed and shook his head.

“Keep it for tonight, Boston. It’ll give me a reason to see you tomorrow,” JJ said. You grinned at the nickname.

“Okay,” you said, picking up the bag you dropped. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” JJ smiled. You could grow to like seeing his smile.

He winked. “See you tomorrow, Boston.”

***

As the weeks went by, you starting to feel disappointed whenever you thought about going back to Boston, which meant leaving your new friends behind. All the adventures you had raked up were memorable ones and it would feel weird not seeing the four rambunctious teens nearly every day.

It was a hot Thursday morning when you sat on the dock. Uncle Jim had given you the rest of the day off after helping him load his cargo, offering to make the rounds that afternoon if you were willing to go to the grocery store to pick up ingredients for that night’s dinner.

You couldn’t help but think about JJ and all the times you two had been near one another. Kiara had made an innocuous comment the prior night before you left her house about how he was much gentler when he was around you and didn’t seem to be as loud as he was when you were there. JJ, she said, was always so outspoken but whenever you were near, it was like he was censoring himself.

You were sure Kiara didn’t mean anything bad by it, but you weren’t really sure how to interpret what she said. You and JJ, aside from Kiara, had hung out the most since you met. You two spent the afternoon together at The Wreck the day after you met him, partially to give him his jacket back and partially waiting for Kiara’s shift to be over. You could feel yourself letting loose and confessed to feeling extremely nervous and self-conscious about meeting Kiara’s friends. JJ reassured you that he (and the others in the gang, of course) really liked you.

He would accompany you home and save you a seat next to him. He’d hold your bag and wait for you if the gang was running ahead. JJ would volunteer to come get you if you weren’t answering your phone and he’d make trips to visit you while you were helping Uncle Jim at work.

If you were being honest, you would be lying to yourself if you said you hadn’t developed feelings for him. It was minor and fleeting, but it was there. The blonde made you blush without having to try too hard and you were sure Kiara knew, but she never said anything. JJ was attentive to you and let you speak when you felt your voice be drowned by someone else.

You were pulled out of your thoughts when you heard running footsteps on the dock, only to turn around and see JJ running towards you. He peeled his shirt off and jumped past you and landed in the water, splashing you in the process.

“JJ, what the hell!” you yelled as he came up for air. He shook his head and wiped his face, grinning at your surprised reaction.

“What a morning, huh?” he said, swimming closer to you. Your legs dangled in the water and he came up, pushing his body upwards to let his arms rest on your lap. “You thinking too hard again, Boston?”

Boston. There was that nickname again. You think you hid your blush pretty well.

“You know I’m always thinking,” you replied.

“Someday I’m gonna get inside your head and know everything you think about when you disappear,” he said. “I’m sure you have a lot of good stories to tell.”

“Maybe so,” you teased. “I was just thinking about how I have a month and a half left before going back home.”

“Don’t think about that,” he said, pouting slightly. “I’ll - we’ll - miss you tons. It won’t be the same until you come back.”

You laughed. “I wish I could bring you guys back with me. I don’t have that many friends I consider close.”

“And you consider us your close friends?”

“I might even say my best friends,” you said with a smile.

“Well, well, well. I’m honored to hear that, Boston. Truly.”

“Why’d you jump into the water, anyway?” you asked.

He shrugged. “It’s a hot morning and the sun is shining. Plus, I got to scare you, which was pretty priceless.” You shoved him back into the water and laughed as he came up with a feigned surprised expression.

“Oh, come on! It was hilarious.”

“You’re so mean to me, JJ,” you said, sticking your tongue out.

“Why don’t you join me? The water’s cool and it’s hot out.”

“I think I’m good from where I’m sitting,” you said. JJ swam closer and caressed your legs before trailing his fingers to your lap, resting his chin on your knee.

“Please?”

It was times like this when you were grateful you developed a habit of putting a swimsuit underneath your clothing. You stood up from your spot and took off your shirt and shorts, slowly dipping in the water beside him.

“Okay, you’re right,” you confessed. “Very refreshing.”

JJ swam closer to you and smiled, finding your hand and pulling it above the water to give it a kiss.

“I’m never wrong, Boston.”

You rolled your eyes. “Okay, keep telling yourself that.”

JJ was quiet for a moment. “You’re so innocent.”

You raised your eyebrow. “Oh? How so?”

“I don’t know. You have a purity to you. Maybe it’s Boston or maybe it’s just that you’re better than us and the Kooks combined.”

“Well, I’m definitely better than the Kooks,” you said. JJ chuckled. He pulled you closer to him to the point where your chests were almost touching.

“I just mean that I don’t know how to act when I’m around you. Usually I’m reckless and an idiot, but I’m not that way when you’re around.”

You frowned. “I don’t ever want you to be anyone but yourself around me, JJ.”

He shook his head. “I don’t think it’s that. I think you pull this calmness out of me. I don’t think I’m not being myself when you’re around. I just think that I’m much more of a person than ‘reckless’ JJ who gets into too much trouble.

“What I’m trying to say is,” he began with a deep breath, “I like you. As in, more than a friend. John B and Pope have been teasing me about it all summer but I never took it seriously until you talked that Kook’s ear off about not being a racist and sexist piece of shit.” You took a moment to recall and laugh at the memory. “There’s never a moment where I don’t want to be with you or tell you things. I’ve never felt this way with anyone before, honestly.”

“JJ,” you said softly, your hand giving his bicep a squeeze in reassurance. “You know, I’ve been overthinking these past few weeks. Last night, Kie said something about how you were so aware when I’m around and how you’re less reckless and I didn’t know what to make of it.”

“I just,” said JJ, “I like you a lot. More than I thought I did.”

You looked into his gaze and his arm wrapped itself around your waist, pulling you closer so your chests were touching. The sound of the waves was the only noise in the vicinity and the sun made JJ’s eyes look more impeccable than they already were. His lips were plump and you noticed he had stolen a glance down to yours, squeezing the small of your back as if to ask for silent permission. You inched your way closer and he followed suit until his lips had landed gracefully on yours as if it had belonged there all along.

His skin was hot under the sun and the water around you felt like it moved to push you two closer together. JJ let this kiss be a simple one, unlike the other girls he had been with before. His eyes remained closed until he pulled away and looked to see you in your entirety. You did nothing but smile and bite your lip, reaching out to kiss him once more.

“I like you too,” you said. “And I like kissing you.” JJ laughed and leaned in to kiss you a third time.

“You’re real cute, Boston,” he replied.

“Do you think we could go and get some sandwiches from The Wreck? All this swimming and all this kissing has me starved.” You shared a laugh before pushing yourselves out of the water and hoped the sun was hot enough dry you both before you reached the restaurant.

You were already counting down the days you would be coming back to the outer banks.

#jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank blurbs #jj maybank imagines #jj x reader #obx #obx x reader #outer banks #my writing #boston

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heywardsarchive · 4 years ago

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Red and green

pairing: james sirius potter x fem! reader

summary: james sirius does not like the daughter of theodore nott, infact he despises her, but when she circumstances are such that she has to stay with his family, they have to put up with each other

a/n : this was requsted by @lespaceboi im sooo sorry it took forever! i hope you enjoy:]

word count: 8.6k+

warnings: flangst, not proofread, maybe a few mild swear words here and there.

********

James Potter, son of the legendary Harry Potter was used to having almost everything his way. He wasn't a spoilt child, not really. He knew where to draw a line. He was a lot like his grandfather some would say. He had his eyes and hair and even the same name. Even his personality matched that of his grandfather. He and his favourite cousin and best friend Fred Weasley II would constantly prank their family. His life was good but on the other hand the only child and heiress to the Parkinson- Nott household wasn't so lucky.

Y/n Parkinson Nott's life wasn't as easy as everyone thought it was. Her parents were forced into an arranged marriage in order to preserve the pure bloodline. Even after the war, there were some who believed in the pure blood drama. Her mother, Pansy Parkinson wasn't a nice woman. She hated her daughter and probably her husband too. She loved another, Draco Malfoy. Her husband's best friend. Her father, Theodore nott was alot like Draco Malfoy in many ways. He too changed his ways after the war and raised his daughter (much to his wife's annoyance) to believe everyone was equal.

Theodore and Pansy obviously may have loved each other at some point, because they had a daughter together. Or maybe they didn't and she was a mistake. We'll never know.

******** It was going to be y/n's 11th birthday soon! She was so excited! Her father and her were very close. They loved each other dearly. She excitedly danced around him telling him how excited she was and how she was going to be the best witch in Hogwarts. Her father simply chuckled and told her to sit down and wait for Scorpius Malfoy, one of her best (and only) friends to arrive.

Scorpius was a year younger than her but that didn't matter, they were still super close. The fireplace crackled and Scorpius emerged coughing slightly. "Scorpi!" She cried and hugged him. The two children went up to y/n's room to leave Scorpius' things. He was staying over until her birthday. They returned to the living room where their fathers were laughing together and her mother was looking unhappily at the scene. Oh well. Y/n thought as she and Scorpius walked into the backyard to play some games.

It was finally y/n's birthday! She was so happy. She woke Scorpius and ran down right into her father's arms. "Why so excited darling?" He asked. "You don't remember?" "No." He said trying to hide a smile. "It's my birthday!" She said. "Ofcourse I remember sweetie, look on the dining table." He laughed. She ran pulling Scorpius with her to grab her Hogwarts letter. "It's addressed to me!" She said excitedly. "Look mum! Im going to Hogwarts." Her mother gave her a curt nod and a tight lipped smile. She ignored it knowing how her mother usually was.

She read the letter and squealed! She jumped into her father's arms as he promised to take her to diagon alley that very day. "Can Scorpius come too?" "Ofcourse he can." She high fives her best friend.

That evening the three of them flooed to diagon alley. Draco would pick up Scorpius from there. They first walked into ollivanders wand shop, which had been taken on over by another woman after the old man's death. "Hello dear, come to get your first wand?" Y/n nodded excitedly. "Alright, let me see." She said and went back in the shop. She pulled out a few boxes of wands. I opened the first box and waved it around. Bright red sparks flew out of the tip of the wand and the windows of the shop cracked. "I'm so sorry!" She exclaimed putting the wand back. "Oh no worries dear, happens to all of us." The woman said brightly. Y/n tried a few more wands and none of them seemed to work for her .

Finally the woman opened a deep red box and pulled out a wand. It was intricate with ivy vine carvings on it. Y/n waved the wand and bright green sparks came out of it and illuminated the shop. "this is the one!" The woman clapped. Y/n smiled happily. "Ah it's the perfect wand. It hasn't chosen a wizard since decades. It's a unique wand you see. Made of both unicorn hair and a phoenix feather. You must be a very unique girl!" y/n blushed at the compliment. After paying for the wand and getting other school supplies, Theo took the children for lunch where Draco would be joining them.

Scorpius listened as y/n spoke excitedly about school. He too was eager to join her the next year. He wanted to be a slytherin but also felt he would do well in ravenclaw. y/n never really thought about what house she wanted to be in, her father would love her regardless. Her mother, well she was a different story all together. Deep down she wished to be a slytherin so that maybe,just maybe her mother would love her. Y/n shook her head and came back to reality just as the food arrived. She enjoyed her meal and listened at her dad and scorpius' dad talked about some ministry work which she didn't quite understand.

***************

The days turned into weeks and finally the day y/n would board the Hogwarts Express was here! Her trunk was packed along with her robes and wand. Her father had also surprised her with an owl! The owl was named ebony and she had icy blue eyes and dark brown feathers. The owl was beautiful. Before leaving for the station, y/n bid her mother goodbye, hoping for a hug (which she did not get) but she got a curt nod and y/n was on her way.

She and her father apparated to the station and y/n thought she was going to puke. They walked onto the station and Theo stopped infront of platform 9 and 10. "Where is the station daddy?" Y/n asked excitedly. "It's right there!" He chuckled pointing at the brick wall in front of them. "That's platform 9¾!" "Daddy don't joke!" He laughed and ran through the wall. Y/n gasped and closed her eyes and ran through the wall. She opened her eyes and gasped. "Woah" she whispered. Theo walked up to her and patted her head. "Amazing isn't it?" "Yes!" "Come on now, don't want to miss the train." She hugged her father and he kissed her forehead and watched her as she boarded the train.

Y/n walked through the train looking for an empty compartment. Finally finding one, she settled down with her small carry on backpack next to her. She looked out of the window and observed her surroundings. As the clock nearly touched 11, she took out her favourite book, murder on the orient express. As she flipped through the pages of the book, a blonde girl called out to her. "Hey, can i sit here?" "Sure!" y/n smiled. "Sorry to impose on your privacy but i dont know anybody here. I'm a muggleborn you see." the girl said. "Oh no, you aren't imposing! I dont know anybody here although i am a pureblood." "I'm Holly, Holly Fields." "I'm y/n Nott. Nice to meet you." I smiled at her.

She's so sweet! Y/n thought. The two girls chatted most of the journey before holly dozed off. Y/n re opened her book and started to read until a boy with hazel eyes and unruly black hair fell into their compartment. He smirked at y/n and stood up. "Sorry about that, my cousin pushed me in." Y/n stared at him shock. "Uh no worries." She said. "I'm james, James Potter." He said confidently, sticking out his hand to shake with y/n. "I'm y/n. Y/n Nott." James smiling face dropped and he grimaced. "Is your father, Theodore nott? The death Eater?" "Yes he is and he is NOT a death Eater." "Oh I'm sure he's not." James said sarcastically. "You're probably going to be a no good Slytherin!" "How dare you!" Y/n was about to slap James when holly woke up, rubbing her eyes. "What's going on here?" Y/n withdrew her hand and glared at James. "Uh nothing hol, don't worry about it." She nodded and nodded off again. "Now get out of here Potter before I actually slap you." He scoffed. "I'm sure you will." Before she could actually do anything he left the compartment and slammed the door. Y/n sighed and sat down. It was going to be a long 7 years.

**** Y/n's pov

After the Hogwarts express stopped, we were led to Hogwarts on boats. I looked at the giant castle in awe. Holly looked equally awestruck and we both silently gushed together. James looked at me from his boat."enjoying the view nott?" He asked mockingly. I made a face at him and looked away. He laughed evilly. I ignored him. The boat ride ended and as I was getting off the boat, Potter pushed me into the water. I fell backward and nearly drowned. Luckily I knew how to swim and so I managed to come up to the land. Holly helped me out, and Hagrid dried me with a spell. He went to reprimand Potter and told him he'd be getting detention. He held a sour look and I felt a bit better.

We were welcomed by a tiny professor who said his name was flitwick. He introduced us to the 4 houses and instructed us to wait at the door. A few mins passed and the hall door opened and we were led inside. There were 4 long tables and a stool with a hat on top of it in the centre of the room. We walked to the front. There were many eyes watching us. I started to feel self conscious. The hat suddenly burst into a song. I grabbed Holly's hand when I heard snickering from behind me. Potter. "What is it now?" I hissed. "Oh nothing, just that you're such a scaredy cat." I was about to retaliate when professor flitwick started calling out the names of people to be sorted. I simply looked away.

"Potter, James." Called out professor flitwick. "GRYFFINDOR!" The hat called out. Fits him, I thought, the cocky bastard. "Fields, Holly." "SLYTHERIN!" "Nott, y/n" I walked to the hat nervously. I sat on the stool. I felt a voice in my head. "Hmm, interesting. You have a lot of ambition and cunning. You are also very kind. Hufflepuff? Maybe not. Better be, SLYTHERIN!" I jumped off the stool happily. The Slytherin table cheered as I took my place next to holly. As the sorting ceremony ended, headmistress McGonagall announced the commencement of the feast. The table filled up with the most delicious looking food. I piled up my plate and savoured every bite.

"You look like you haven't seen food in your life!" Said a boy jokingly. I laughed and introduced myself. "I'm ashton. Ashton brown." "Are you a first year too? I asked him. "Yes I am." The rest of the night, holly, ashton and I had a nice conversation. I had made two very good friends but I still missed scorp, he is my best friend after all.

When we went to our dorms, I sent my father a letter telling him about the sorting ceremony. I put my quill and ink away and went to bed.

*****

First year was amazing. I loved everything about Hogwarts. Everything except james Potter. That arse had decided to torment me every chance he got. I obviously retaliated, with holly and ashton by my side I wasn't too badly affected by his words. The three of us had become tight knit friends.

The year was almost over and the exams were very near. I spent almost every hour in the library. "Hey ash, have you completed the transfiguration homework?" " Yeah I have. Do you need help?" "Yes please." Just as he was about to start explaining the work to me, the very devil sauntered up to our table. "Ah two little snakes. What do we have here?" "Just leave James, I'm not in the mood for your crap on a Saturday when I have better things to do." James opened his mouth to retaliate. "No, I don't think I will. I don't take orders from slimy snakes you see." My ears started turning red and I was close to breaking his neck. "Aw, cat got your tongue Nott, or are you too weak to fight back?" "That's it!" I slammed my book shut just as I was about to say anything, madam Pince walked by our table. "what is going on here?" She said sternly. "Nothing." Potter and I muttered. "You git." I whispered to him sharply and sat down at my table.

**** James and I were at each other's necks for all three years that I have been in Hogwarts so far. The whole school knows about our rivalry though no body knows the reason for. I had heard so dumb rumours about it... "I've heard that James killed her cat" "no, I've heard that she cursed his owl " There were even more absurd rumours but I decided not to pay attention to it too much.

Fourth year was one of the best years of Hogwarts so far. I was doing great in school, the teachers liked me, most of the student body liked me too. I had joined the quidditch team last year and according to our captain, Luke Grey, I could take over his spot as captain next year!

Everything was good except for the fact that my father had fallen sick. The doctor's said he may not survive. It was awful. He is my entire world and I doubt that I could live without him. My biggest support system have been my friends especially Scorpius. I don't spend as much time with him because of being in different years and him making friends with my mortal enemy's brother. He was a Slytherin, I often wondered how James felt now that his brother was in the snakes pit.

I wrote letters to my dad telling him all about my life and how annoying James was. He told me to try and he friends with him, like he and his father Harry Potter had made up and were friends now. Ugh as if me and that prat could ever be friends. Never in a million years.

I was just finishing reading my letter when holly barged into the dorm room. "What happened?" I asked her. "You have got to see this." She dragged me by the arm into the common room. It was covered in red and gold silly string and in big bold letters it was written gryffindor rules. There could only be one person who could do such a thing. Potter. I was so going to get him. I silently walked back to the dorm and I heard holly (and ash who had joined us) muttering discretely. James Potter you are going to regret this I thought to myself.

The next morning as I sat at breakfast alone, I thought of a revenge plot. "You were abnormally quiet yesterday." Holly said sitting down infront of me. "Yeah." Said ash. "That's very unlike you, especially when James Potter is involved." "Oh no reason." I said. "I don't like the way you said that. Spill." Holly demanded. "Oh alright. I was silent because no one plots a murder out loud." I smirked. "You're not going to kill him right?" Ash asked me seriously. "Oh no I won't. But he will surely wish he was dead." Holly and ash shared a look.

******

"Ok so here's the plan." I said. Ashton and Holly stood in front of me. "Is this really necessary y/n/n?" "Yes it is. Now hear me out." They sighed and motioned me to go ahead. "We will enchant his hair to become green and silver and across his forehead, we will charm the words 'slytherin rules!' eh?" "How do you plan to 'enchant' him?" Ash asked me. "Oh dear ash, you underestimate me." I smirked. "Hey Scorp, Albus come here." "You convinced potter's brother to help you?" Holly looked at me both exasperated and amused. "Well it was quite easy, the number of times Potter has embarrassed Albus, he was more than willing to help."

"Er, hi." Albus said, shuffling on his feet. "Hey Albus, you know the plan right?" He nodded. "I'm going to pour the potion into his pumpkin juice tomorrow morning." I high fived him and he and scorp left the room. "You are unbelievable." Holly laughed. "But you love me." I grinned. "That we do." Ash pulled me and Holly into a hug.

**** The plan went smoothly the next morning. Albus went and sat beside James and distracted him while Scorpius poured the potion into the drink. They left the table and James took a sip of the drink. The effect wouldn't be instantaneous but in a few minutes james' black locks would turn green and silver. I watched the gryffindor table discretely as I ate my buttered toast. Slowly Potter's hair started to turn green. Showtime. The people he was talking to stared at his hair. He touched his hair and looked frantic. He looked over to the Slytherin table and I averted my gaze. "Nott!" He bellowed. "What have you done?!" "Me?" I said innocently. "I haven't done nothing." I shrugged. He covered his forehead and his hair and ran out of the great hall. "I'm gonna get you I swear!" "No you won't!" I called back after him. I snickered as I ate. Revenge is sweet.

********

That incident triggered a prank war between us. We were constantly pulling pranks on each other. Mostly harmless ofcourse.

I walked into charms with holly and ash and sat beside them. Flitwick stood on his pile of books on the desk. "Alright class, this month we will be working on a partner project." Everyone started whispering with their friends. "I will be picking the pairs." Groans sounded in the class. "Let's hope it's no one bad." I whispered to holly. She nodded in agreement. "Fields and smith." She smiled at the boy who was apparently Smith. "Brown and walker." Ashton walked to one of our fellow Slytherin, Dan walker. Almost the whole class was paired up, except me and "Potter and nott." Great. Just my luck. Partenerd for a whole month with Potter .

I groaned and moved aside as James slid into the seat next to me. "Potter." I curtly greeted him. "Nott." He grumbled. I rolled my eyes and put my head in my hands. "This is going to be a nightmare." I sighed. "Professor! Can we change partners?" Potter called out. "No you cannot Potter. Sit down." I swore under his breath and sat down. "I don't think I'm that terrible." I told him. "I don't think I'm that terrible." He mocked me. "oh go to hell." "Oh go to hell." He mocked again. "Potter is you say one more word I swear to god-" "SILENCE Potter and Nott." I rolled my eyes and kept quiet. This is going to be a long month.

Once class ended I stopped Potter outside class. "Look Potter, we both have to get a good grade so let's put aside our differences and call a truce." "A truce with you? Definitely not." He scoffed. "Alright then what do you propose we do?" "Never see each other's face again?" "Then we'll fail you twat." "Oh alright fine. We'll call a truce. But only for this month and nothing more ok?" "That's all I ask." We shook hands. "Uh we gotta start today itself, it's quite a long project." I said looking at the guidelines. "Ugh ok. Meet me in the library at 6pm." I nodded and walked back to my common room.

**** It is 6:30 where the hell is Potter? I'm so done with this boy I swear to Salazar. I sighed and resumed the project by myself. After a while I heard shuffling of feet and the obnoxious sound of someone pulling out the chair in front of me. "Well well well look who decided to show up?" I said showing him the time. It was 7 one hour after we had to meet up. "Sorry, I got busy doing things." "Save it. I don't really care, just do your part of the project." He mock saluted me and got to work. We stayed in the silence for another one hour before my stomach growled. "Shit." I whispered. "Is it time for dinner already?" James asked me. "Yep it's 8 o clock." "Let's go eat then." We cleared up our mess and headed to the great hall, where we went our separate ways.

The project actually went quite smoothly. I could actually have a civil conversation with Potter without wanting to break his neck. Maybe we were becoming friends. Ugh, that's a stretch. I guess our civility was very visible because ash pointed out that we hadn't had a screaming match in a long time. Huh, he's right.

I walked to the library with all our project work, today was the last day and we had a bit of work left. To my surprise Potter had already reached there and was sitting on the table waiting for me. "you're early." I pointed out. He shrugged. "I was free so I thought I'd come on time for once." I cracked a grin at that. We sat down and worked together. "Crap, we missed dinner." I said once the work was finally completed. "Oh damn, we did. Uh no worries though. Come with me" "where?" "You'll see." We gathered our stuff and dropped it off at the Slytherin common room. Potter grabbed my arm and pulled me with him. He stopped to tickle a pear. "What are you doing?" I asked him. "just wait!" The pear giggled and a door appeared on the wall ahead of us. "Is that- is that kitchens?" "The one and only." He said triumphantly.

We walked in and were instantly surrounded by house elves. "how can we help you sir and miss?" They asked. "Can you give us some leftovers from dinner?" "Certainly miss!" They scurried away. "How did you know how to get in?" I asked. "My cousin fred told me, well his dad told him about how he and his twin brother Fred sr who is now dead used to come to the kitchens when they were in Hogwarts and fred brought me here."

The house elves brought us some meat, salad, pizza, cake and sandwiches. I ate the sandwiches and pizza and cake which was delicious. "This is amazing!" I complemented the tiny elf in front of me. "Thank you miss! Lily is glad you like it!" She said, turning completely red. She was cute. "It's almost curfew, we have to go." Potter said to me. We thanked the elves and left. "You aren't so bad you know." I told him as we walked back to the common rooms."Same goes for you." He punched my shoulder lightly and I smiled. "Um my common rooms that way so u gotta go." I said. He nodded and saluted me goodbye. Maybe he wasn't bad after all.

We didn't talk all that much for the rest of fourth year but we didn't yell at each other at all, I guess things were changing.

**** Summer: 5th year My father's health wasn't getting any better, nor was my mother's attitude towards mem I spent almost all my time with my father at home or going out (which was very less) with him.

School was going to start in 2 weeks and I had yet to buy my school supplies. I had recieved a letter from school that I had been made quidditch captain! I was thrilled. The responsibility would be great because of the owls looming on our shoulders but I would make it work. I quickly wrote to ash and holly and told them about becoming captain and asked if they wanted to go to diagon alley together with me.

I ran out of my room when I heard my parents arguing. My mother was yelling and my father was trying not to scream. This is horrible. He's already so sick and mother isn't helping things at all. I sighed and went back to my room. I would talk to father later.

**** I recieved holly and ash's letters very soon. Turns out they had been made the Slytherin prefects! Holly seemed surprised that it was her and not me but I think that she's very worthy of being a prefect. They said that they would meet me at diagon alley the coming Saturday. I pushed their letters into my drawer and opened my quidditch magazine. There was a knock on the door. "Come in!" My father walked in. "Dad, why didn't you just call out to me?" "It's alright dear, I'm here now." "Is everything alright?" "Not really. Sit beside me." I obeyed and went beside him.

"As you know my health is not very good and it's only getting worse, my time may end soon." "Daddy don't say that " I said somberly. "It's the truth darling, but you have to listen to me very clearly. No matter what happens after my death, I want you to stay stay strong." I started to feel tears pricking my eyes. "Now, you may not want to stay in this house with your mother, I understand why you wouldn't." I chuckled at that."If the circumstances are bad, you have no where else to go, just remember that Harry Potter will always be there to help you. You just need to ask." I looked at my hands. "I love you dad, I don't know what I'd do without you." He pulled me into his arms and I sobbed into his shoulders. "I love you to darling, but life is unpredictable. You are the strongest girl I know and I'm sure that you will grow to be a fine young woman with or without me." I continued to cry and couldn't hold my tears in.

**** It's Saturday and we have to go to diagon alley to get my books. I flooed over to Ashton's house from where we would go to diagon alley together. "Hey ash!" I hugged him. "Hey y/n/n!" "Kids! Ready to leave?" "Yes mom." Ashton replied. We grabbed onto her arm and apparated to diagon alley. "Alright so you both go ahead to flourish and blots while I go and run some errands." She told us. We nodded and walked to flourish and blots. "How is your dad y/n/n?" "Not great." I said sadly. He patted my shoulder and we entered the shop. "Ashton! Y/n!" Came a voice behind us. "Holly!" I hugged her. "How was your break?" "It was great! We went to meet my aunt in Ireland." "That sounds awesome."

We bought our books and waited for mrs Brown and then went to buy our other supplies. We finished and then went to have ice cream at Florence Fortescue. "This is the best ice cream I've had!" Holly cried. We all chuckled.

**** 5th year I was sad to leave my dad but I had to go back to Hogwarts. I gave him the tightest hug possible and left for school. The train ride was uneventful as were the first few months of 5th year.

Quidditch training was on me now and I had to juggle those duties and studies. The first quidditch match of the season was in a month. I had yet to select players and ugh so much work.

I dragged my feet to class and plopped down on the chair and put my head into my arms. I almost fell asleep when someone pulled a strand of my hair. "Sup nott?" "Huh? Oh I'm good Potter how was your summer?" "You know, the usual. Pull pranks on my brother, homework, family meals. That's beside the point, why are you sleeping in the first class of the day?" "Because I stayed up all night thinking of quidditch plays. And drawing up schedules. Why are you asking me all this and why are you sitting here?" "Firstly I'm just curious and secondly were deskmates for the year in this class." "What? Deskmates?" "You didn't read the circular put up the door did ya?" I shook my head, no. "Thought so." He said leaning back in the chair. "You're welcome." He smirked.

******

The first quidditch match of the season was in two hours. I was nervous. How could I not be? I poked at my food and ate barely anything. "Just eat it y/n/n." Holly nudged me with her shoulder. "I can't! I'm so nervous I could puke." "Hey, you'll be great! You're the best chaser Slytherin has had in years! I'm sure you will do great." Ash smiled at me. They really were amazing. "Thanks guys." "No problem. Now eat and then destroy gryffindor in the match." Holly gave me a double thumbs up. ****

I was in the air waiting for the quaffle and watching my team fly about keeping an eye on the balls. Suddenly I noticed a bludger coming my way. "Hey!" I called out to one of the beaters. He immediately flew over to my and the bludger was sent away. I looked away and heard a scream. I noticed that James had been hit on the stomach by a bludger! I flew over to him and tried to catch him but he was falling too fast. I flew downward with all my might, I grabbed hold of hand and slowly went downward. It took alot of my energy to ba able to help James and not fall in the process.

We were close to the ground when my grip on the broom slipped and James, me and our brooms went crashing to the ground. Luckily we were not too high off the ground. But James was already badly hurt and the fall may have knocked him unconscious. "James! Wake up! James!" I shook him but there was no response. The nurse was on her way but I refused to move until I knew James would be ok.

The match went on without me and my team played really well. Gryffindor caught the snitch but we were all way ahead so the match was won by us. I was so proud! All the practice payed off.

I joined my team in the victory celebrations where everyone was invited. Halfway through the party, I decided to go and check on James and see if he was doing ok. It wasn't curfew yet so I had time.

I walked to the infirmary and asked madam Pomfrey where James was. She nodded toward one of the beds. I slowly walked over to the bed and sat down on on the chair beside him. He may have heard the sounds of the moving chair and groaned opening his eyes. He took a few seconds to register it was me but then his confused expression turned slightly angry. "What are you doing here?" He spat. "I'm just checking up on you." I said. "I don't believe you. You are the reason I'm here." "What?" I asked confused. "Don't act all innocent. You know you deliberately sent the bludger my way so that Slytherin would win." "James, I would never stoop so low!"

He scowled. "Don't call me James. Why should I believe you?You're a Slytherin, you cheat and lie." I was hurt. "Is that really what you think of me?" "Yes." "Fine then. I will leave and never come back. And, to think we were becoming friends."

****

It was toward the end of fifth year after our owls when I got a letter. I was at breakfast with Scorpius and Albus, as holly and ash had prefect duties. My family owl, emerald flew to me and dropped a letter in my lap. I fed her some treats while I opened the letter.

The spoon in my hand fell to the table as my eyes read and re read the contents. "what happened y/n/n?" Scorpius asked me. "My father, he's critical now. I have to go home!" I said almost in tears. I left me food and ran to headmistress McGonagall's office. I stood outside the gargoyle wondering how to get in. "Miss nott? What are you doing here?" She asked me. I turned around and told her of the letter. She took in my state and let me send a letter home informing them of my early return. I thanked her and headed to my dorm.

As I was packing my stuff Holly walked in. "What happened y/I (your initial) ?" She asked me, concerned. "I showed her the letter, not wanting to speak. She pulled me into a tight hug and said that she'd walk me out. On the way we met ash, who joined us. We were at the courtyard from where professor flitwick would escort me further. While we waited, the devil himself James Potter came running our way. He banged into my shoulder. "Watch where you stand Nott." He sneered. I didn't reply. I kept my eyes firmly on my feet. "Not the time Potter, now get going before you get into trouble." Ash threatened him. He stomped off to who knows where.

After a few minutes professor flitwick arrived. I hugged holly and ash goodbye. We took the carriage to hogsmeade and then apparated to London, to my house. I burst through the door, straight to my dad's room. He looked pale, thin and weak. He saw me and smiled weakly. "Daddy!" I ran to him and hugged him tight. "Hello my angel." He kissed my forehead. "Don't leave me." I cried holding on to him tighter. "Angel, look at me." He said holding up my chin. I couldn't meet my eyes to his as I felt myself grow weaker as he did. "you are strong. Stronger than me or your mother. I hope, no I know you will be fine with or without me." This only made me sob harder.

"Can we atleast spend time together for as long as we can?" I asked softly. "Whatever you want." He kissed my forehead. I played our favourite movies and we watched them together. We listened to our favourite songs and played our favourite games together. I cherished every last minute I had with my father.

He breathed his last one week later. His last words to me were, "stay strong angel." I kept my tears at bay, not wanting the last thing he sees to be me crying. After he passed I locked myself in my room and cried my heart out. I barely ate and my only company was my pet owl. My friends sent me letters offering condolences but I didn't have the heart to read them.

The day of the funeral arrived. I dressed in a black dress and covered my head with a black net cap. My dad's friends and our family had come to Nott manor. I sat at the front and bowed my head as people gave speeches. It was my turn. I stepped up and started. My voice cracked as I spoke. "My father, he is, was my best friend in the whole world. He was my confidant and my favourite person in the whole world. His last words to me were 'stay strong angel' and I hope to keep my word and make him proud." I smiled and walked down as fast as I could. I sat down and the tears poured down my cheeks.

The will was being read, I was given most of his personal belongings, his favourite chain and a letter. I went to my room and opened the letter.

"To my angel, I'm sorry I had to leave you so soon. But things often don't go as planned. I know it will be hard at first but I know you will pull through. Let all your tears out, cry as much as you want. Tears don't make you weak. You have friends that love you and won't let you be alone. I have left a large chunk of my wealth for you as inheritance. The key to to the vault in this envelope. Remember, no matter where you are, remember I am always watching over you. I love you angel. Lots of love, Dad.

As I finished reading the letter i ran out of my room to where my father was burried. I sat down in front of his tomb and traced his name with my finger tips.

Theodore Nott A beloved father, husband and friend. He will be dearly missed.

Tears started rolling down my cheeks again and no matter how hard I tried, they would not stay in. As I sat on my knees, tears streaming down my face, I felt drops of water fall on my hair. I looked up and saw that it was raining. My magic may have caused it to rain over me. I ignored it, the pain in my heart too much to bear. I had lost the one who loved me most.

*****

The next few months I spent at home were hell. I exchanged letters with my friends but they weren't my dad. His loss had created a gaping hole in my heart and my mother was no help. After his death she started acting worse and behaving horribly. She taunted me about my friends and said horrible things about dad and everyone I loved. One day as she was bad mouthing my father I snapped. "WILL YOU STOP IT?" I cried. "You dare to talk back to me like that?" She screamed at me. "I have had enough of you!" I cried. "Fine then leave! You are no daughter of mine." "So that's it then? You don't want me in your life anymore?" "Obviously. You have two days to get out of my sight." "Fine then! I have no interest being here either." I ran to my bedroom and gathered all my things. I had no where to go. Scorpius, ash and holly were all away. Was I going to sleep on the roads? Then I remembered what my dad had said to me.

Harry Potter is always there to help.

******

I ran out of my house and walked across to the main Street. How was I going to get to the potters house? I had no idea where they lived. I only knew that it was somewhere in central London based on what Albus had told me. I stood on the side of the street thinking of what I'm supposed to do when a huge purple bus came out if no where. "Need a ride miss?" Said a pimply old man. "Who are you?" "Stan shunpike miss." He said "welcome to the knight bus." I boarded the bus. "Where to?" Stan asked. "uh central London." "Alrighty then." The bus took off. The driver drove rashly. How did he have his licence? We finally arrived after me almost getting trampled by the baggage around. I got off.

Ok I'm here now. I thought to myself. Now how do I get to the potters? "Y/n? Is that you?" I turned around to the source of the sound. "Albus?" "Yeah!" He came up to me. "why are you alone and why do you have your suitcase with you?" "Uh long story short, my mother disowned me and I have nowhere to go. I remembered my father had said that if I ever needed help Harry Potter would help me so um I came looking for your dad." I said sheepishly.

By then mrs Potter had come up to us. "Mum, can y/n come home with us?" "Ofcourse! But why?" "Uh, we'll explain at home mum." She shrugged and smiled at me. I shyly smiled back. We followed her back to the Potter house.

I marveled at the sight of the house. It wasn't as big or ancient as Nott manor but it was homely. We walked into the living room where mr Potter was seated too. "Hello ginny, Albus." He smiled at his wife and son. Then his eyes landed on me. "I don't believe we've met before." "Uh we haven't I'm y/n Nott. Albus' friend." I said awkwardly. "Darling, why don't you tell us what the problem is now?" Mrs Potter said to me. "um sure. My father died a few months back, I think you knew that and so I lived with my mother. She isn't the most wonderful woman in the world." Mr Potter cut me off with a chuckle. "That we do know." I continued. "She became worse after my father had died and kept bad mouthing my friends, my father and those I loved. I snapped and yelled at her. She told me to leave if I had such a problem with her and then disowned me completely."

Mr and Mrs Potter looked solemn and Albus patted my hand awkwardly. "my father had once told me that if I ever needed help it was Harry Potter who would give it to me, and so here I am." Mr Potter looked me. "I knew your father. He was a good man once I got to know him. He did mention that you may need me in one day in the future, after he got sick. And I will help you, for the sake of your father." "You will?" I asked happily. "Yes ofcourse! We have alot of space in this house and you and James seem to be the same age, so why don't you stay with us for this summer? We'll worry about next year when it comes. "

I was very grateful for the help that I had got. I never thought I would be lucky enough to have gotten a place to stay that easily. After Albus helped me place my things in the room next to Lily's, I can downstairs to help mr and mrs Potter, it was the least I could do as a thankyou.

As I spoke to mrs Potter while I helped her cook the dinner, James ran down the stairs. "Hey mum, what's for- what's she doing here?" He asked a bit angrily. "James, be polite. She's staying here because of something that happened at her house." "But mum, she's, mum!" He whined. "James." She said sternly. He groaned and went back up the stairs.

James and I avoided each other the best we could. I still hadn't told my friends that I had left Nott manor, they would get stressed and ruin their holiday because of me.

The entire family had gone out one day, I chose to stay back, not wanting to encroach on their family time. What I didn't know was, that James was at home too. So when I walked into the living room, I got the shock of my life. I quickly turned around to go back upstairs, so that I didn't get into a screaming match with James. "No, y/n wait." "What?" "Please." He said, sincerely. I sighed and sat on the sofa opposite him.

"I need to apologize to you." He said, running a hand through his messy hair. "For everything. You didn't deserve to be treated they way I treated you." I nodded at him to go on. "I really think you are amazing and I'm sorry for blaming you for my fall off the broom." "Yeah, why did you do that?" "Well the truth is, I started to develop feelings for you and didn't know how to act. I tried to hate you and push you away so they would go away. But , that obviously failed. Now, I still like you very much." I was at a loss of words. He likes me? After everything? He likes me. "I, uh." I muttered. "You don't have to give me an answer right now. Think about it." He smiled. I looked at him and then immediately ran up to my room. What a day. **** Summer break was almost over, and today we went to get our books from diagon alley. We flooed there and then went to get money from gringotts. I'm glad I had gotten my share of inheritance before hand. I gave the goblin the keys and withdrew enough money to buy books and a bit extra incase I needed some in Hogwarts.

"Alright kids," Mr Potter said, clapping his hands together. "We are going to split up to make this faster. "James and y/n, you both go to flourish and blots and gets your own as well as lily and albus' books. Al and I will go to Madame malkins and buy Albus new robes and ginny and Lily will go and get all of you kids new stationary." We nodded and went out seperate ways.

Walking alone with James was a bit awkward after his confession, but he kept cracking jokes to make the atmosphere light. We bought the books, which were very heavy, and dragged them to a small diner where we would eat supper and then go home. Mr and Mrs Potter were very late. It was only James and me for about half an hour. It wasnt boring, no. We talked about many things and quidditch ofcourse. We in the middle of a heated argument about which quidditch team was best when the rest of the Potter family arrived. "Sorry we're late kids." Mrs Potter said. The food was brilliant! I had to get my friends here one day. When we arrived home I was very tired, so I changed and fell asleep immediately.

Only three days till Hogwarts. We're de- gnomeing the garden today. I knew how to do that ofcourse, I used to de gnome my garder with my father. All four of us kids ran out to the garden and pulled out gnomes from the grass. One bit my finger! I flung it away and it screamed colourful words at me. James snickered at that. I crossed my arms and stuck my tongue out at him. Then a gnome bit him and I got to snicker at him this time.

*****

6th year James and I had become good friends this year. Holly and Ash were really surprised. I don't blame them. When I told them about my summer situation they both felt guilty, although they had no reason to. They said that I could have contacted them but I said that it didn't matter anymore. Everything worked out fine.

James started hanging around the Slytherin table these days. It was an odd sight to many but they got used to it. Luckily, this time we didn't fight and I realised that maybe I had developed a crush on James.

I would stare at him during class, I started noticing small things about him, like how he would scrunch up his nose when he didn't like something or the tiny dimple he had on his chin. I pointed this out to holly and she told me that maybe I was in love with him. Love? Pshh, no. The next time I saw James was when he was wearing his quidditch jersey and was messing up his hair further. I gulped. Maybe I was in love with him.

***** Christmas break was coming soon, holly and ash decided to stay back with me even though I told them to go. I was walking to class when James wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "So what are your Christmas plans?" He asked. "Uh nothing much, just staying back here." "Wrong. You're coming with us. Mum already sent a letter, says she misses tout. I swear she loves you more than she loves me." I smiled. "Um alright." "Great! I'll let her know." I smiled to myself. Things are getting better.

Christmas break Holly and ash had decided to go to their houses for break since I was going to the Potter's. Scorp was mad that I didn't ask to go his house but he finally cooled down after I promised to visit him in the break.

I bid holly, ash and scorp bye at the platform and went home with the potters. Their house looked beautiful. It was lit with colorful lights and there was a gigantic Christmas tree in the backyard. It wasn't decorated yet though. "I was thinking that tomorrow morning we could spend time together and decorate the tree!" Mrs Potter said happily. All of us cheered.

It started snowing the next morning. It made the scenery even more beautiful. We put on our thickest coats and set about decorating the tree. The higher parts were decorated by the adults with magic since none of us could reach it.

In the evening, I made hot cocoa for everyone. We sat in the garden sipping the warm drink. Everybody started getting up one by one and soon it was just James and me. The atmosphere was so calming and I felt so relaxed and happy. "Thankyou for letting me stay with you." I said. "Thankyou for agreeing." James grinned. I rested my head on his shoulder. "I really like it here." I sighed. "We love having you here." He lifted my chin so I faced him. We moved closer and his nose was brushing mine. Our lips were about to touch when mrs Potter came out the balcony. "Hey kids-" We jumped apart. "Oh uh sorry, I'll just um go in." She awkwardly walked back into the house. James rubbed the back of his neck. "I guess that's our cue." He said and we walked inside.

The topic of the almost kiss was avoided. It was Christmas day and the air smelled festive. I had bought gifts for everyone and placed it under the tree. Early in the morning everyone gathered around the tree and opened their presents. Everyone had bought me gifts too! James opened my gift, it was a book on quidditch plays, it was quite rare and I was glad I found it. He literally jumped when he saw it. "Holy moly! Where did you get this?" He asked me. "Near Malfoy manor, you know that tiny bookshop." He hugged me tightly. I gave Albus a muggle video game I thought he would like. I don't understand muggle things, I thought he would though. I got Lily a set of butterfly earrings and a pendant. The gifts I got were lovely too.

Dinner time was a bit hard for me. It was my first Christmas without dad and I missed him greatly. We would cook dinner together every year. This was the first time we didn't. After dinner, I felt like I would burst so I excused myself and went outside. I sat on the bench. I sniffled and closed my eyes. I felt a hand wrap around mine. I opened my eyes and saw James looking at me. "Angel, what happened?" The dam broke. Angel, my father called me that. I wrapped my arms around james' shoulder and cried. He ran his fingers through my hair trying to console me. "It's just that, it's the first Christmas without my dad. I just miss him so much." I said to him. He wiped my tears with his thumbs. "Im always here for you." He said seriously.

I looked into his eyes and saw how much he actually cared for me, I could see the love and concern for me oozing out of his eyes. I leaned forward and captured his lips in a kiss. He pulled me closer to him while deepening the kiss. We pulled away for air and he pressed his forehead against mine. "I think I might be in love with you." I whispered. "I think I might be in love with you too."

taglist: @kashishwrites @sincerlypadfoot @isabellabellac

#james sirius potter x reader #harry potter next gen #Harry Potter #James Sirius Potter #self insert #harry potter x reader

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horansqueen · 5 years ago

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You & Me : chapter 16

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: youre gonna love me. then youre gonna hate me. or at least that what i think :X WARNING: DRUG ABUSE +SMUT

also, if you like this story you may want to read the few blurbs i wrote about it. ill probably write more but here are the few already written

Niall & Liv (fetus) - FLUFF

Louis & Liv - FLUFF

Niall & Liv - SMUT & FLUFF

Liv & Heidi - ANGST

if you read, THANK YOU!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : you guys wanted fluff and smut and i think i got it right lol SPOILERS”

Chapter 16 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

The words Heidi had thrown at me were resonating in my head over and over again, hitting my brain like a hammer as a headache was forming itself. I looked around the room at all my friends smoking, still unsure if I should actually do it. Sometimes it was fun and other times, it ended up ruining my nights and with the feelings invading my insides at that moment, I was still in a dilemma. My eyes met Niall's and I realized he was looking at me and him too was a dilemma for me. I was not as tipsy as I was at the club and I could see him clearly. He was sitting on an other couch and I was not sure why he didn't sit next to me but I pushed that thought away and pressed my lips together.

I wanted him so bad that just the thought of his hands on me made me hold my breath and made my whole body tense. I knew it could seem like a common feeling. I was not the first person to feel lust for someone and clearly not the last one, but was it normal to lust someone so intensely even if you already knew what he felt like? Even if you already knew what he tasted like? What he smelled like? Was it normal to need someone so bad even if you had him before, and not just once, but a hundred of times? I could understand the need for new things, the craving for something you want to experiment... but wanting someone you've had multiple times before was a new thing, at least for me.

The fact that he wanted me too was a bit ridiculous though. I had enough self-confidence to accept it but now that Heidi had thrown at me some rude shit, my trust was starting to falter. She was not wrong, though. Dylan and Niall were both out of my league, but a body was just that, a body, right? It's not all that mattered and I tried to remind myself that even if Heidi was considered 'beautiful' by society's standards didn't mean she had the personality that went with in. In fact, in that domain, she was not even a two and apparently, I was not the only one who thought that.

I got off the couch and walked slowly to the bathroom, trying not to draw attention to me, and I stood in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection. I was chubby now, I knew, and my teeth were crooked. Was something wrong with my forehead? I turned my face on the side and grimaced before passing my hand in my hair. I used to be average but now, Heidi was right, I was just below that, and it was hurtful to realize. I closed my eyes tight and groaned low until I heard a noise and felt my heart jump in my chest. I turned around and noticed Niall, leaning against the door frame, staring at me.

"You're not focusing on Heidi's shitty rant, are you?"

I sent him a small smile and glanced down despite myself, realizing I had answered his question without even talking. The thought in itself was pathetic and I couldn't believe that once again, I was in the bathroom and that Niall had randomly joined me. Should we bring chairs for next time? A couch, perhaps?

"I'm okay, Niall."

"You remember who you're talking to?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "I'm your best friend. I know you by heart. You're not okay, I know you're not. Talk to me."

I didn't know if it was the alcohol still doing something to me or just the tone of his voice reaching something inside me but I shut my eyes tight and let out a sob I was desperately trying to keep inside. I brought my hand to my mouth and in half a second, Niall was close to me, wrapping one of his arms around me and pulling me closer. He smelled amazing and I let my cheek brush on the soft fabric of his shirt, moving my arms around his chest and holding him tight against me.

"She said that because she knows how self-conscious you can be. Don't let her win, okay?" he whispered, rocking us slightly before kissing the top of my head. "Olivia, look at me."

I pulled away slightly and looked up at him through my eyelashes. He grabbed my chin with his thumb and forefinger and moved it up to stare in my eyes.

"You are beautiful. You are the most beautiful girl in the world." he added, making my lips part. "I'm not the only one who thinks that. And you should think that, too."

Slowly. he turned me around and made me face the mirror. It brought a memory to my brain and I felt like I was back then, before we started dating, when he had brought me in front of the mirror at his place and had told me I was beautiful. Unfortunately, a few hours after that, he was having sex with Heidi in a bar. Could I really trust him? I looked up in his eyes from his reflection and he stared back, letting his hands slide down very slowly on my upper arms. I could trust him, right? Why would he lie about that?

"You're gorgeous." his voice was so low the only reason I heard him was because he had bent down and his lips were brushing on my ear. They moved down, reaching my neck as he brushed them on my skin, making a quiver cross my body. "I fucking love you."

I didn't expect his last words and for some reason, they're the ones that made all the throbbings of my body meet between my legs. I let out a low groan and felt his fingers slide gently to my waist, moving my shirt slightly up as his hands slipped under it.

"Fuck..." I whispered without thinking, feeling goosebumps appear where his fingertips brushed, surprising me as they also left a burning trail on my skin on their way. "Niall..."

"Yes petal?"

He was testing my self-control and if I had been as tipsy as I was at the club, I would let him run his hands all over me but I felt his teeth nibble on my neck and my eyes fluttered. I turned around before his hands reached my bra and sent him a small smile shaking my head.

"We can't..."

"Please, we totally can."

He grabbed my waist and pulled me up on the counter as I jumped a bit to help him and he moved between my legs. It was amazing how that fucking counter was exactly the right height for him to push his crotch between my legs and when I felt his bulge press on my inner thighs, I twitched and moaned.

"You're gonna wet your pants." I let out as he smirked.

"Are you already wet?" he chuckled, bending a bit to bring his mouth close to mine.

"Maybe." I whispered with a bigger smile. " And I don't have any panties, remember?"

"Fuck!" he let out a bit louder before crashing his mouth against mine.

"You guys having fun?"

I chuckled against Niall's lips when I recognized Louis' voice but kept my eyes closed as I pulled away.

"Go away, Lou." I just said with a smile.

"I was just checking on you two but you clearly don't need my help." he chuckled again and I could imagine the smirk he had on his lips.

"We don't! Bye!" Niall quickly let out, reaching for the door and swinging it closed.

I held my breath, a bit scared that Louis would be mad but I heard him laugh on the other side of the door and relaxed again as Niall brought his hands up, cupping my face, his fingers spread on my cheeks, jaw and neck.

"I feel like I would need to just skip the foreplay and fuck you until I cum inside you and only then I could really make love to you or fuck you properly." he admitted, pressing himself more against me. "You make me so fucking horny I don't think I'd last."

He still held my face for a while as we kissed before his hands let go of my cheeks to reach my naked thighs. I felt his fingers slip under my skirt and my lips parted at the thought of what he was doing. He sucked on my bottom lip and then started nibbling on it, making me feel suddenly dizzy. His hands moved up on my thighs, pushing my skirt up more and I started panting as my head tilted back.

"Oh my god."

It took me all my strength to reach for his hands and take them away from me as I moved myself back too. He tried to move with me to keep kissing me but I shook my head and he opened his eyes, staring at me.

"We can't. Fuck, you know we can't."

He stared at me a few seconds and finally nodded and stepped back. It made me realize how empty I felt when he was not close to me and I shivered, suddenly a bit cold. He reached for his pocket and took a joint out before handing it to me. My body was still throbbing with lust but I tried to stop thinking about it and frowned, reaching for it and taking it from his hand.

"Did you steal that from Louis?" I asked, a small smile playing on my lips.

"Gave it to me. Told me it could ease things between us or some shit like that." he laughed, pushing his hands in his pockets.

I knew he was trying to stay away from me the same way I was trying to stay away from him, at least physically. It was not easy and I knew it never would be. If we didn't end up together, which was clearly a possibility, being around each other was going to be an everyday challenge. Maybe we should fuck, if only to make all this sexual tension go away. Perhaps we'd be able to see clearer after... or maybe not.

"But you don't really smoke anymore, do you?"

He shrugged. "Rarely. I prefer alcohol."

"Me too."

I reached for my bra and took a lighter out, making Niall's face light up at the same time as I was lighting up my joint.

"What?"

"You keep a lighter in your bra?" he laughed and shook his head and I felt my heart skip a beat. I loved hearing him laugh. There was nothing I loved more.

"Not my fault this skirt doesn't have pockets!" I explained with a smile. "I don't really smoke either, but it was planned tonight so that's why I brought a lighter with me."

I inhaled and let the smoke invade my lungs before moving my face up to blow it away from him. He took a step closer and raised his eyebrows at me, making me frown.

"Do it." he just said, making me smile more.

"Wait, you want me to shotgun you? Wouldn't you rather get a beer from the fridge instead?"

"Fucking shotgun me, Olivia." he repeated seriously, surprising me before I just nodded.

He got closer and I inhaled from the joint again, making some sort of tunnel with my hands around our mouths and noses. It felt like I was telling him a secret and I exhaled as he breathed in deeply. I stared in his eyes the whole time and when I took my hands back, he cleared his throat.

"You know you have to stay here all night, right?" I just let out after a few minutes as he moved closer to do it an other time but this time, he pressed his open lips against mine as I pushed the smoke in his mouth.

I suspected he just wanted to be closer to me and I didn't mention it because I really enjoyed it, too. He moved away as he held his breath again to keep the smoke in and I tilted my head, not even ashamed that I was gazing.

"Why? It's not like I was driving. I can take a cab."

I raised my nose up in a grimace, making him laugh again. He was getting high and so was I and although I knew we should get back in the living room with everyone else, I just wanted to stay in this small room with him. I knew it was harder to resist if we were just the two of us but I didn't care at that point.

"I'm staying don't worry!" he exclaimed with an other chuckle. "Do you want to know what I've been obsessing about for the past 20 minutes?"

"Mm, please say it has to do with me."

I felt my heart jump at how bold my statement was and he laughed again, this time throwing his head back. His eyes were sparkling and I wanted nothing more than to cuddle him.

"It does." he admitted with a grin. "I've been thinking about your smell." I frowned and he kept going. "Your hair, it smells like a mix of vanilla and honey. I don't know if it's your shampoo, or your perfume, but it's always obsessed me. Since we came back from that tour. No one smells like you. And also..." he glanced at my thighs and looked back in my eyes. "You took your panties off and you're horny. I miss the smell of your wet pussy."

I choked on the smoke I was breathing and started coughing, making him laugh again.

"Shit, are you okay?" he kept laughing. "I'm so sorry!"

"Fucking hell, Horan!" I coughed again, hitting his chest lightly with my free hand. "Why did you say that?"

"Because it's true." he let out, sending me a small smile and raising his eyebrows. "I just want to get on my knees and eat you out."

"That's... not going to happen." I admitted with a smile, making him nod.

"Not tonight, I know."

The fact that he was so sure it would happen at some point made something stir in my stomach but at the same time, I couldn't tell him he was wrong. I was clearly not as sure as he was but thinking that I'd never feel his tongue between my legs again was a concept I couldn't grasp.

"Do you really think I'm pretty."

I had talked in a low and vulnerable voice without really realizing it and Niall's smile fell immediately. He took a step closer and bent down again to look in my eyes without touching me, as if doing that could stop me from focusing on what he was about to tell me.

"You're beautiful. And sexy, too." he let out firmly. "Your self-confidence that you took so long to build can falter because you're human and it's not easy, I get it. But me? My speech won't change. Ever. I'm always going to be there to remind you that you're gorgeous when your confidence isn't as high as it should be. I swear on my life."

I felt myself tear up again and sniffed, my gaze never leaving his. Suddenly, I wondered how the hell I lived over a year without this wonderful man in my life. My heart was threatening to jump out of my rib cage and I pressed my lips together as I felt tears slide down my cheeks. I let them, too concentrated on the way his lips moved and the way his soft voice reached my ears like a fucking melody. It only took him a few seconds to wipe them from my face again and send me a fond smile.

"You're the strongest person I know." he admitted, making me smile but sniff again. "Are you tired?"

I nodded and he helped me get off the counter before grabbing my hand and opening the door slightly and slowly, making sure no one would hear. I held my breath in as if they could actually hear me breathe and followed him in the hall as he walked up to my room. I closed the door behind us very slowly and locked it before pushing the air out of my lungs with a chuckle. I knew it was bad but I just wanted to spend time with Niall and no one else. We had spent so long separated and I wanted to make up for lost time.

Without a word, we both lied down on the bed, facing each other. We were so close that I could only see his face and it's all that mattered. I felt my eyes flutter from time to time but tried to resist slumber. I wanted to look at him all night. He didn't say anything. He just brought his hand to my face, pushing a lock of hair away from my eye before brushing his fingertips on my cheek and jaw. It felt incredible and I squirmed a bit to get closer to him as he wrapped his arm around me.

I didn't know when I fell asleep but when I woke up, we were both laying sideways on the bed, over the covers and cuddling. I never sleep without blankets since I'm always cold but this time, I was surprisingly not and I smiled when I realized it was because Niall's body kept me warm. My eyes opened slowly and my lips curled even more when I saw him. He was sleeping peacefully and I licked my lips before brushing my nose slowly and gently against his. He groaned a bit before squeezing me tighter against him and open his eyes.

"I need a shower, wanna come with?" I smiled at his proposition and shook my head, making him shrug. "Was worth a try."

He sat up and I turned on my back, looking at him again before he glanced at me.

"Can I borrow some of Louis' clothes again?"

"Yea, I'll see if there's some clean ones in the laundry room." I replied as I stretched and laughed. "There's no way I'm walking in his room."

Niall got up and I couldn't take my eyes off of him as he took his pants and shirt off.

"You're staring again, aren't you?" he asked, his back facing me.

"Mm, maybe." I confessed as he started laughing again.

It took me longer than I thought to find clean sweatpants and shirt and when I reached the bathroom, I noticed the door was ajar. I pushed on it slightly, feeling a bit like a creep but finally leaning on the frame to listen to him. He was singing a song I didn't know and when he reached a higher note, it made something jump in my chest.

"Feels like every time I turn a corner, you're standing right there, over my shoulder, you're everywhere, I swear it's hard to think, it's hard to breathe when you're in the air, I try to run, but you're everywhere I go! When I think I'm all alone, and my heart's under control! Why is loving you not fair? You're everywheeeere!"

I chuckled but he didn't hear me and it made me realize how much I loved him. I already knew, of course I did, and I had for a long time, but nothing had prepared me for the feelings I had inside of me at that exact moment. Hearing him sing also made me think about that album he had written about me and about how many times I had streamed it since he told me. It was a bit pathetic. I left the clothes on the counter next to the sink and left to get changed into clean clothes too and make coffee. Everyone was still asleep and I was drinking from my favorite mug when Niall appeared. I could get used to seeing him every morning.

"I have something to do today." he just pointed out, opening the cabinet to grab a mug too and fill it with coffee. "I have to talk to Heidi."

My lips parted and I had to swallow the lump in my throat.

"About... what?"

He stopped everything and frowned at me. "About us, what else? It's time I break things with her. This is getting ridiculous and I just-"

"No." I cut him, making him frown even more. "Don't."

He put his cup away and moved closer to me, shaking his head. I couldn't tell if he was mad or confused but when he stood in front of me, I felt myself tear up.

"Niall I'm.. I'm getting married." I just pointed out, not really sure of what I was really going to do anymore.

"What? You're not serious." he let out as I remained motionless, just staring at him. "Are you telling me that everything that happened in the past few weeks don't count?"

No, of course that's not what I meant. It counted. In fact, it counted so much that I couldn't see straight anymore. I didn't have any rational thoughts anymore and my heart was swollen with love for a man who had broken my heart, a man I was not even sure I could trust. What told me that he wouldn't leave again after a few months, when the passion would be gone?

"That's not what I said just... wait before telling her." I repeated. "Please."

His eyes moved on me and I could see how hurt he was and if I wanted to be honest, saying those words probably hurt me as much as it hurt him to hear them.

"Fine." he let out rudely. "I know where the door is."

My heart was telling me to stop him but everything else was telling me to let him go. I felt myself tear up when the front door closed roughly and I swallowed again. I had no idea of what I was supposed to do, all I knew was that I had to do it quick.

----

"Fuck I missed you!"

Dylan hadn't even stopped at his place when he landed, he just took a cab to my place and walked in without knocking. Seeing his face for the first time in weeks made me smile and he opened his arms as I threw myself in them, feeling suddenly guilty as he engulfed me in a tight hug.

"I begged them for a few days off, they gave me two." he said when he pulled away, bringing his lips against mine and kissing me hard a few times. "Please, come with me."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. I was not expecting that proposition and frankly, I was not sure I was interested. Especially after everything that had happened while he was gone. Still, I thought maybe, if I left with him, it could take Niall out of my mind. It was not likely but maybe it was worth trying?

"I can't, you know I have work here." I explained, bringing my arms around his neck and tilting my head.

"You can write even on the other side of the planet, you know."

My lips curled in a fond smile as he sent me an amused look.

"I'll think about it."

He nodded and chuckled, throwing his bag away and making me step back as his smile turned into a smirk. I knew where he was bringing me and somehow, I felt guilty again.

"So, how much did you miss me?"

My smile faltered a bit but I quickly brought it back on my face. Playing a double life was not something I actually enjoyed and when we reached my room, I waited until he closed the door behind us to bring my hand to his cheeks.

"We need to talk."

He frowned and shook his head quickly. "Mmhm, no." he protested with worry in his voice. "It's about Niall, isn't it?"

I felt so nervous I started being nauseous but I quickly nodded as he sighed and closed his eyes, letting go of me and turning around, his back facing me. He brought his hands to his head and waited a few more seconds before turning back to me. I wanted to cry but I felt like I didn't have the right to.

"I don't want to know."

His answer surprised me and I frowned. "No, Dylan, it's important, I need to tell you something." I argued, taking a step closer as he scoffed.

"No! I don't want to know, Olivia!" he repeated louder this time. "I don't want to know if you kissed him! I don't want to know if you fucked him! I'll just assume you did! But we're getting married, so whatever you need to sort out with him, do it, and then, meet me at the altar. Then, it's you and me, okay? Just us."

I was so shocked I actually forgot how to move and talk. He just stared at me and sighed again, rubbing his eyes.

"After that night at his place I just.. You know, I didn't realize just how intense and important that story with him had been. Maybe I didn't want to know." he explained, his tone more gentle. "But I love you, and I want this to work, so... September is not so far."

"Dyl, you can't, for a second, think that this makes any sense."

"I've been thinking non-stop about this. Whenever I had a few minutes of free time, I would think about it. I tried to think of what would hurt me the most, you know? Losing you for a while, or losing you forever."

I teared up again and my face twisted in pain as I brought my hand on my mouth.

"I don't deserve you." I just let out before sobbing.

"Clearly, you don't." he let out, half joking as I noticed he was crying too.

I laughed sadly too and he pulled me closer, taking me so tightly in his arms that I could barely breathe.

"Do you still love me, Olivia?"

I shut my eyes tight and buried my face in his shirt. I was in love with Niall. He was my soulmate, the love of my life... but that didn't alter the feelings I had for Dylan.

"Yes. I still love you."

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan story #niall horan writing #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall hoan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #my fanfics #yam #theres prob many mistakes im super tired #well fingers crossed for ppl to like this chapter

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vesperstalksclones · 4 years ago

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Ramblings of a Bipolar Geek girl.

And a picture of this sexy mother fucker who is haunting my shit RN and is viscerally intertwined with all my hot messy-ness. And why not?

Really this is just brain droppings. I'm ramping up in to what will likely be a doozy of an episode, so I needed a dumping ground and Tumblr seemed like the place.

I own that diagnosis, Bipolar, and not like in a fad way. I mean chemically messed up. My PsychNP who tends my medicine chuckles and pats me on the head when we talk. She loves my stories and our visits are usually more like coffee with a favorite aunt. Not a call for help or anything. I'm good. I think if you've started reading, then you'll find some things to laugh at.

Eh... OK. A&P/Psychiatry lesson. A lot of people talk about Bipolar disorder, but I've found the average person knows very little about psychological disorders beyond "crazy". Specifically, I am medicated for Bipolar II. Bipolar I and II both suffer from the hellish depression that comes in the cycle, but bipolar I is characterized by periods of mania that can get quite uncontrollable and self destructive. Like the things you hear about people running up tens of thousands of $$ on credit cards or selling their house on a whim. Bipolar II still has the manuc episodes, but not so severe. Its a wild ride, but mostly fun and exhilarating. But, well, thats mania. Like, I go through bouts of insomnia, obsessive behavior, blasts of energy; it feels like your personality is trying to shatter your skin and fly off in every direction at once.

The insomnia gets old, and the jitteryness can be obnoxious at times, but the obsessions are downright funny. In the past, oh years ago, I remember a year (I go in nice neat 3 month cycles) where I had a food obsession with fruit roll-ups (an American snack common in kids lunch pails if you're not familiar). So, my last episode was late May - June. I had a new opsession and or new symptom. I thought it was just this mysterious hormonal change that I hear talked about on sitcoms and movies and etc where a middle aged woman suddenly becomes a cougar. Well.... suddenly my mania comes with ADVANCED HORNY. Now, I'm a geek, always have been. And suddenly, this new manic horny thing (and my Puss Puss) said "Look! Fictional characters! And they have genitalia! Imma gonna latch on to this hard!" Somehow the worst of the obsession landed on my beloved clone boys.... and well I started my Tumblr account and poured in smut - fics, pics, follows, etc. After a few weeks, things calmed down. And I thought... well that was refreshing, sorry its over. NOW - three-ish months on.. its BACK. Next manic cycle and skin melting horny have me their grip! Is this shit here to stay?

Ok so... some of y'all write about this or that character going through a heat cycle or a rut... well... this bitch knows what that feels like. I can barely function. I am humming like a fucking tuning fork. I've changed my drawers twice today (sorry, gross but lol) and any conscious thought involves some depraved behavior involving specific handsome brown men. AND THE DREAMS I HAD LAST NIGHT! My stars and garters, I couldn't properly look Nitro in the eye this morning when he got up for work! (No worries, he and I have a happy comfortable relationship and we can talk openly about sex and people we admire and etc. That and IDK what my sexual orientation is so we can appreciate boobs together happily, but this can be another entertaining blog post)

LIke srsly, Temuera Morrisson, Sam Witwer, Dee Bradley Baker, Liam Neeson, and Ewan McGregor should consider getting ready for retraining orders against me. The money I would pay just to have these guys talk at me.. well... might rival that shit I said about Bipolar I mania 🤣.

All things considered... mania is exhausting. Your brain is on constant fast forward and I feel like there is a veil between me and the world. Im sure I'll do or say some stupid things that might embarass me later on, but right now everything seems fair game, kind of like being drunk or something. IDK. So that being said... time to sip some coffee, draw some clone dick,... and maybe write down some of those dreams from last night. Seems a shame not to share! 😁🥰

Love you babies! ✌

#vesperstalksclones #bipolar ramblings #psycho but it's okay #mentalheathawareness #no shame in my game #drinks silly dumb bitch juice

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01010010-posts · 6 years ago

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— am I your future?

request: Okay but pls imagine the rk's meeting an ex-boyfriend of readers... Like theyre home alone for the day and a stranger comes up to the door and theyre like "whomst the fuck" and then he reveals he's readers ex and he wants to talk with them. Imagine these jealous nervous bois freaking the fuck out because AHHH READER USED TO BE IN LOVE WITH THIS OTHER GUY AND HOW HE'S H E R E... And like what if theyd heard of this ex and knew he was bad news (im sorry im a hoe for protective/jealous rks...)

is this ok?? you wanted jealous type & bad ex baby?? did i do this right??

Connor:

• “come on, ordering dessert too?” he giggles, drawing soothing circles on your back, his pupils dawdling with a dreamy gaze on your features, raptured in your love, basking in that soft tug of your mouth • you laugh, rolling your eyes “yes, dessert too” and then you mutter “since someone’s always eager to burn some calories with me” • he bites his lips, blushing a bit blue on the tip of his nose “that’s not fair at all, it’s your fault for being so cute” • “ahh now it’s my fault” you continue, his palms exploring your skin, lowering until they get in contact with your bottom • “yes, [name], it’s your fault” he murmurs near your lobe, teasing you to no end • well, no, there is an end • an end with a very distinct name and surname • “get a room, you two!” the shout of your ex between the chatter of your friends • ugh • your boyfriend goes rigid, a nervous titter, slightly embarrassed, touch lingering but devoid of the same warmth as before • perfect! just perfect! you think, you were busy having a moment but nooo of course they’re gonna ruin it • it was awkward enough when you got invited to this dinner without being told your ex was there too • but you didn’t imagine it would be this bad • don’t worry, as things can and will get worse • in fact, watch!, your last partner is slowly snaking their way to both of you, a sly grin on the face and two bottles of beer • they sit next to your precious robot, offering him to drink together, he politely refuses • “can’t taste? a shame!” that stupid no-good begins a wishy-washy speech, obviously tipsy, trying to get a reaction, probably wanting a fight • they do strike a nerve with you tho and you start tapping your nails on the marble table • he notices, analyzing you from the corner of his lashes, his chords humming off and on, not paying attention • he tries, i swear, he tries resisting and being his usual collected self • but seeing you like this? fed up? distressed? casually checking your phone while he’s stuck listening such endless ramblings • “um, sorry” he excuses himself, suddenly whisking you away from the room, hiding with you in the restroom • “what– what are you doing?” breath hitching you find yourself against the wall, trapped by his body pressed onto yours • “if your ex keeps talking I’m surely going to have a short circuit” • you snort, not expecting him to be so brash but welcoming his behaviour with a gentle cupping of his jaw • “besides” he kisses you “I was” another kiss “getting” kiss “kinda” again, a kiss “jealous”

RK900:

• he’s been waiting for the whole week, finally, a day where you two can be alone, rest, cuddle, simply indulge in each other • he’s super happy about it, he can’t stop kissing you while you’re both playing some boring board game • i mean, it’s not boring since you know, he’s a super clever AI, he can switch on your competitive side in every match • the bell?? he looks in your eyes and you in his • “are we expecting someone?” he questions and you nod in disagreement • “I’ll go get the door” he plants a tiny peck on your forehead and leaves the couch • but as soon as you hear the voice of the person behind the (now open) door your blood freezes • “baby? it’s for you” his tone is neutral but he doesn’t move, effectively blocking the entrance • you reluctantly join him on the threshold and stare at your ex • “what do you want?” you lean onto your lover, a deadly mix of fear, bad memories and utter annoyance clouds your mind • but he’s not stupid, he picks it up the moment you speak, already angry at the fact that his afternoon was ruined by some random scum • actually, not random, that’s what makes him livid • it’s your fucking ex, you had feelings, you had sex, you had a relationship • all things that you have with him now • to say he’s jealous would be terribly kind • he’s almost denting the door jamb his hand is resting on • yep speaking of that, the other free one swiftly grabs you by your hip in a lovely grip, tender, sweet, how he is • the complete contrary of your ex btw • the only time he asked you about them you got tense for the whole night • and he felt so guilty about not being more careful and so mad with your last partner • “you’ve got yourself an android? wow, sunken so low?” • you close your lids for a second and sigh in exasperation, really? very predictable • “yeah, you’re right, he treats me nice and loves me, the bar’s sunken pretty low” • this dork can’t help but let a low and quick chuckle escapes his lips • the same that go onto yours, kissing you deeply, passionately, nearly leaving you gasping • he tilts your head, caressing your cheek, then turns to the person standing on the doorway again • “i’m sorry, as my partner said before, do you truly have business here?” • your thoughts still hazy, your ex about to speak but— • he closes the door in front of their face with a loud bang

RK800-60:

• it’s a chilly summer evening, fresh breeze, a limpid sky, honestly the only thing to do is go out and enjoy detroit’s nightlife • plus, it’s your boyfriend we’re talking about, he’s the embodiment of having fun 24/24 h • you find a nice club, music not too loud but there nevertheless, if he wants he can go dancing while you’re sipping your drink • which is a thing that might or might not happen • he doesn’t want to leave you alone but gosh the beat is totally calling him • “hello, is this seat free?” • a familiar tone drills through your ears, you whip towards the sound • your ex • god, your ex • you briefly mentioned something about them to your darling but • “yes, it is” he smiles and replies, unaware of the situation • “oh but it’s you, [name]! how long has it been? six months?” • “more than that” • “seriously? time flies then!” • “you know this person, sweetie?” he half-whispers, his expression that of a lovesick puppy, already oddly getting the hint of something being wrong, probably because of your accelerated pulse he can feel with his fingers on your wrist • “y–yeah, it’s my ex—” • “so clumsy of you, [name], you should introduce me properly” • he’s dumb when he wants but not this time, his LED blaring red, fidgeting and moving closer to you, an arm around your shoulder, protecting you • “don’t worry, I can do that myself. nice to meet you, I’m [name]’s boyfriend.” • there was absolutely no need to but he did it anyway • he’s so nervous please excuse him • not only he’s jealous because he’s a champ in inferiority complex • but he’s also fuming? it’s pretty obvious how mean is this asshole you don’t have to tell him • “you’ve found someone else? thought our relationship left you quite heartbroken, but then again, you’ve always been the promiscuous type, haven’t you?” a snicker and there’s nothing after that • your android doesn’t hesitate and strikes a punch, perhaps putting too much force and fracturing their nose • he’s not even completely conscious about his action, he just felt the urge and did it, his LED slowly returning to yellow and then blue • “what the fuck—” your ex doesn’t get to finish the phrase, him grabbing the collar of their shirt, his fist feigning another hit and they put their hands to cover the face, scared, trembling • “don’t you dare approach [name] ever again, clear?” he grits through his teeth but there’s no response “I said, are we clear?” • after a feeble choked ‘yes’ he loosens the grasp, letting your old partner falling to the ground • he takes you home immediately, too pissed off to talk about what he did • he’s a bit scared you’ll scold him but there was no choice, believe him, he felt he had to • he spend the rest of the night cuddling and reassuring you

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hillybargrove · 6 years ago

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New Years

Roger Taylor x Reader

Summary: rogers scared to crush on y/n because she’s deaky’s sister but we all know how well that’s gonna work out for him

Word Count: slightly over 2k :)

A/N: it’s january 16th which makes this less fun but i think it’s good and im really happy with how it turned out!!

When you had first been introduced to the band, they we're already working on their fourth album. Your brother had done his best to avoid introducing you for almost five years, afraid of you taking a liking to one of his friends.

It was barely August when John gave you a call from their studio in Rockfield, asking you to come out and see him.

"Y/N?"

"John?"

"Haven't seen you in a while, how's mum?" You talked for a half hour catching up before he invited you to visit.

"Why, John? You need someone who actually knows how to do laundry?" He couldn't ever remember to separate the lights from the darks, frequently he also forgot the importance of detergent.

"Can't I just miss my baby sister?"

"Well, that almost never happens, John." You agreed, however, and packed a bag so you could stay for a night.

When you pulled in, you saw where they were staying, and how it was in fact a farmhouse. Chickens loitered the dirt road, perching on fences and cooing at some blond. You parked, saw John in your peripheral vision and threw open the car door as fast as you could to run to him.

"Hey!" You said, already airborne and jumping onto his back. There was a thud, your brother was unsuspecting and now on the ground covered in dust and probably a few bruises.

"I'm never calling you again."

"Don't be so dramatic."

The man with the chickens had laughed at the mercy of his friend, gaining your attention when you picked yourself up.

"Hi," You called out, brushing off your jeans. "Sorry about that, sibling rivalry and all."

"Fine by me," he waved you off. "John needs a bit of roughing up." Your brother made it off the dirt himself, shooting both you and the blond a look. From the right you heard footsteps approach the two of you.

"Roger, would you quit mucking around with the chickens and get in here, Freddie needs you for the operatics." Brian, as you'd remembered from pictures, had curly black hair and seemed to tower over everyone around.

"Brian and Roger meet my sister." They both gave small, awkward waves when he failed to give them your name.

"I'm Y/N, sorry. I guess he doesn't remember." You jerked your head at your brother and shot him a dirty look. "D'you forget my name or something?" His friends let out a chuckle and John now gave you a mean expression.

"Give me a minute, it's on the tip of my tongue." You dug your fingers into his sides, drawing out a painful laughter before he cried for you to stop.

"Well, it's nice to finally get the chance to meet you guys," You said, taking a step to shake their hands.

"Likewise," Brian smiled, "I'd love to stay and chat but I've got to get him in there before the bill for this album goes up any higher."

You didn't quite recognize Roger, at least not in a fur coat and a pair of dark sunglasses, but Brian immediately dragged him away from the farm animals and into the studio.

"Uh, John?" You looked at him with amusement, "you didn't tell me your band mates were hot."

"There's a reason for that."

"You've been cock-blocking me for years."

"Shut it."

•••

You had the pleasure of seeing Roger in the recording studio in the middle of his galileo's. It was incredibly tempting to laugh, but everybody else seemed annoyed he couldn't get as high as Freddie wanted.

He did his best not to look at you for too long, but there were more times than you could count that you two caught each other staring.

He also did his best at keeping away from you. Suddenly, he was always the first one up, he made the first pot of coffee in the morning and kept to himself. You hadn't known him before, but there was enough talk about it between the boys for you to know it wasn't normal.

One afternoon you offered to grab everyone lunch from a pub in town, Roger left his order on a postcard and spent the entire day holed up in his room, despite being needed in the studio.

More and more you came to stay with them, choosing the little farmhouse over college parties and pubs, and the boys loved having you around. You broke up the testosterone in the house and always made the bathroom smell like flowers. Your visits, however, revealed the pattern in Roger's strange mood swings.

Freddie noticed it at first, and pointed it out to John who then told Brian. Your brother made nothing of it, and left the two of them to talk to you about the situation.

"Y/N?" Brian turned down the music from the car radio, you two were on your way home from the grocery store.

You gave a muffled response, having had a few chips in your mouth.

"I don't mean to pry, and you don't have to answer, but–" He paused in the awkwardness, "did something happen? Between you and Roger?"

You nearly choked, "Oh my God, Brian," You sent him a look from the passenger seat, "No, definitely no." He didn't seem to like that answer, the wrinkles between his eyebrows told you so.

"Why? Did he say something?" A small rise of panic began in your throat, "Bri, I swear–"

"No! No, he didn't say anything. The boys and I have just taken a little notice of something is all." He let a few seconds pass before beginning again, "He just seems to be very quiet when your in town, stays in his room a lot, never sleeps in, and he doesn't really like to eat with us, you know?"

"Oh, okay. I mean, I don't know. I've only ever known him to be like that. Do you think something's wrong?"

"Well–"

"Wait, so you thought it was because of me?" He came to a red stoplight and turned to look at you.

"No, not at all. Well, okay maybe." His eyes grew bigger, "Not in a bad way! Of course not anything like that, he's just been so weird, and it's only when you're around. So we all kind of assumed–"

"–Cause we hooked up and it ended weird?"

"Not in so many words, but, yeah." The car lurched forward through the intersection. "But you said nothing happened."

"Nothing, yeah. Sorry, I wish I could be more help."

"S'alright, love. Just means now I've got to actually ask him what his problem is."

He told you he'd find out and let you know, but he'd make sure to ask after you went home, which was the next day.

You didn't go back for a while after that, not because of Roger, but because school was a bit more intense after midterms and your mom had started holiday baking in the middle of November.

A week before the month was over, John and the rest of them ended up stopping by on the way to a 'band event' is what they called it.

While you were coming out of the bathroom you heard voices, Freddie and Roger.

"What's your problem, Rog? We're in her bloody house and you can't even make eye contact with her, it's weird."

"Fred, Brian already pestered me about this weeks ago–"

"And he was given a vague answer, you're being rude, it's ridiculous. What's wrong with you?" Dishes clinked around in the sink, your mother walked past you into the kitchen with the leftover peas on a platter and walked back out.

"She's John's sister, okay? That's the issue." Freddie blinked.

"And?"

"She's his sister. I mean, that's off limits, it's gotta be."

"Oh." Freddie paused from washing the dishes, "Well now it all makes sense. So you like her, then?"

"Yeah."

"Well, that's sweet, Rog, but it's not an excuse to be a dick."

Roger shook his head and started wrapping the chicken up with tin foil, "Trust me, I know."

You decided it was best not to go into the kitchen at that moment, instead returning to the table with noticeably red cheeks. To make matters worse, John tapped your shoulder and let you know they were staying the night.

"Are there even enough beds?" He shook his head no. "Then where are they all sleeping?"

Turns out you were sleeping on the couch, despite your complaints. John was in his room with Brian, which left your bed for Roger and Freddie.

•••

It was now almost half past one in the morning, everyone had been asleep for a while. The wine was catching up with you a second time, and you woke up in the middle of the night having to pee.

Groggily, you made your way inside and shut the door. A few minutes later, Roger felt the same pressure on his stomach and slid out from under Freddie's arm draped across him.

A yellow glare fell on the floor outside the bathroom, Roger, slightly drunk and very sleepy, assumed someone left the light on.

"Shit, sorry." The image of a girl in the bathroom made him jump, "I didn't realize anyone else was up."

"S'okay, I'm just washing my hands." You dried them and stepped out, "the door doesn't have a lock."

"I see." He rubbed his eyes and avoided making eye contact with you out of embarrassment, he suddenly felt self-conscious about being shirtless.

"Y'might want to think about knocking next time, though." You diverted your gaze downward, but your eyes lingered on his bare torso.

"Yeah, I'll make a note of that." He blushed and stepped aside for you to get past. He was almost grateful you were only just washing your hands, seeing you half naked in this situation would've been mortifying.

"Night, Roger." You disappeared from his vision around the corner to the living room.

"Night," He said, standing there for a moment before going inside the bathroom.

•••

It wasn't meant to be a big thing, just a few guys in a pub with family and friends to celebrate the new year. Freddie, however, turned his nose up at that idea and threw a party of his own.

Earlier throughout the night, you were given various drinks, mostly champagne. John did his best to keep you from taking too much, lucky for you.

"Just keeping an eye out for my baby sister," He would say, before you stuck your tongue out in protest.

The entire time knowing him, Roger had been skittish around you, for reasons you now knew. Tonight, however, he was different.

Drink after drink on his part, he warmed up to you. Brian even took notice and gave u a thumbs up when he saw the two of you talking. It wasn't about much, and it was kind of awkward, but watching his baby blue eyes glaze over underneath the yellow light of the chandelier made you feel something.

Even later in the evening, he tried to flirt. You then caught Freddie giving Roger a thumbs up like Brian had done to you.

It was charming, watching him across the room throw his head back to laugh, and he always watched you back.

Then midnight came, and with everyone gathered outside on the second story patio, he tapped your shoulder a minute before twelve.

"Roger?"

"I've got something to say to you." He was meant to continue, but your interest in other matters made him clam up.

"Where's your date?"

"Didn't bring one," He stated plainly.

"What about that brunette I saw following you around inside?" You crossed your arms over your chest and smiled.

"M'not terribly interested, I've got this thing for someone else." He said it with a lopsided smile, and you suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to kiss him.

"You've got about ten seconds to find someone, then."

"But I've already found you." It was almost innocent when the words tumbled out of his mouth, like a school boy with a crush.

"You know," You paused, the clock was ticking, "we've barely spoken, and I've only known you for a few months."

"My deepest apologies, love." His fingers found themselves in the loops of your jeans, and you watched those baby blue eyes until you could see the whites tinged red and all of a sudden people were celebrating.

Your lips were on his for a few seconds and it was soft and sweet. Then, his hands found their way around you, and it almost felt like the fireworks were for the two of you instead of New Year's Day.

#roger taylor #roger taylor x reader #queen #bohemian rhapsody #ben hardy #ben hardy x reader #roger taylor fic #roger taylor imagine #new year #im trying to get this guy SEEN but i can't think of any other tags #this is going well #roger x reader #hillybargrovefic

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scarletrebel · 6 years ago

Note

⭐star⭐ waffle at me about your favourite lines youve written

ohhh friend you have opened a pandoras box and i hope you are ready also thank you aha

so i started…….. picking some lines and made the Executive Decision to just do one fic because i was planning on doing a couple from a handful of fics but turns out im far too prone to waffling about this kind of stuff because i love picking things apart and figuring out why they work because i love fuckign words and the things they evoke and stuff so yeah this is just some fave lines from most recent fic, requital.

this was part of a ‘directors cut’ writer thing and if anyone has any more prompts, feel more than free to send them my way!

Requital, Chp. 1:

His honesty, wrapped tightly underneath a chivalrous act; a throwaway comment to soften the exposure of such a question, draws her closer.

She kisses him, and hopes that even though the motion is countless in the amount of times they’ve come together, that the answer is plain enough. A claim, she hears her own words in her head, tasting the tobacco of his morning cigarette on her tongue, the warmth of the pull at his hands on her hips.

so whilst i cant say this section was directly inspired by the ecdysis book, what i can say is that there is definitely some influence going on here, in particular these two lines from the page ‘synesthesia’:

“Wu Ming is a bonfire in the darkness, and she crawls toward his warmth.”

“Wu Ming leaves his questions by the wayside as he is drawn inexorably into the gravity well of her desperate honesty.”

and thats not something i realised until i was writing the final draft, and im pretty pleased with myself considering not only is requital going to examine some of the similarities between avia and drifter, but also the fact that ecdysis is probably my favourite book. i mean…… ‘drawn inexorably into the gravity well of her desperate honesty’ what the FUCK KIND OF LINE its gorgeous i cant deal with it or this book or this page or how desperately gorgeous the tragedy of drifter and orins relationship is

also…… look. im a hopeless romantic. always have been, probs always will be, so when i say avia and rook are soulmates i mean it in the cheesiest way possible. right before this is rook feeling a bit self-conscious about the whole awoken engaging thing, and theres no way avia can actually put into words how irrevocably in love she is with rook. so she kisses him, and hopes beyond hope that she can put those feelings into motions if not words. i also enjoy the small bit of possessiveness that came out of her too, because the whole ‘claim’ thing with the awoken was there since the first draft but this section came in the final edit, she thinks of it so casually but when she goes on to say that she’d actually duel anyone who came between them i…….. would not put it past her to be 100% down to do that.

rook isnt a bonfire in the darkness, he’s an anchor in the deep, a solid tether when the sea becomes a storm.

(ayyy where the FUCK WAS THAT WHEN I WAS WRITING THIS)

Requital Chp. 2:

Here’s the thing, if you’ve gone through the trouble of decrypting this (a fortified certain-eyes-only encryption that took me a couple of hundred years to perfect, thank you very much), it at least means you’re interested, so hear me out.

i like this line a lot, for a few reasons. drifter knows avia well enough at this point to be well acquainted with her temper and lack of time for dealing with his nonsense. it’s the first flick of the coin between the two of them, drifter laying the proverbial gauntlet down and at the end of the day, its up to her whether or not she picks it up.

and she does, avia asks levi to decrypt it, and the first thing she sees is drifter acknowledging that shes done so and asking her to at least hear him out. he’s kind of caught her out, and she can respect that even if thats not at the forefront of her mind. avia also has her own brand of curiosity when it comes to people like the drifter, so this is kind of the first inkling of that. and it also (i hope) makes you wonder if drifter is aware of that curiosity that she has, if he sent the message decrypted on purpose to get her interested.

She smiles at the note, throws her legs over the bed and stretches around a yawn. Five minutes later, Levi puts her in her armour.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stick around?” The Ghost asks. “We don’t have anything urgent to do. There’s breakfast here.”

Avia hums, considering. She moves into the kitchen, glances over the fridge, the cupboards. She looks then onto the sofa, the sprawled pillows, untidy blankets. Suddenly the armour on her body feels heavy, out of place, like the metal has no right being somewhere like this.

“No. I’m not hungry, let’s go.”

“Okay,” Levi says in that tone of voice that lets her know they aren’t buying it. “Should we walk, or transmat?”

Avia notices the balcony door is still open. She walks over and closes it, the streets barely alive as one or two civilians walk to and fro, glancing idly at each other as they pass. “Transmat.”

avia immediately makes an comment about being all domestic with rook in chapter 1. its just not something that suits her in her own mind, and that line (even though i havent waffled about it bc dear god theres too much here already) was something i immediately knew i wanted if i was going to write a day of domestic bliss with her and her fiance, because i knew it’d be a hard thing for her to just get on with like a normal person aha.

so, we get this part in chapter 2. the domestic bliss is over, and what avia knows best, what shes always known best, is a set of armour and getting back to work. however this part of herself contradicts that which she’s experienced for the past day, and especially the line ‘Suddenly the armour on her body feels heavy, out of place, like the metal has no right being somewhere like this.’ i put in to really reinforce that idea. its not the metal that feels out of place in this scene, its the person in the metal. and her eagerness to transmat straight to the tower rather than walk through the peaceful city streets shows her tendency to run from such thoughts.

this part came really naturally, actually. its a small snapshot into a bigger struggle avia has with herself (especially given the dreaming city, the reef, petra and now potentially going back to the worst part of the shore with drifter) of where she belongs, and more importantly, if she deserves to belong. which is why levi talks to her in that tone because they know what shes doing, theyve seen it so many times before – avia in a scenario that resembles something normal and running from it with no one around to stop her, because in her subconscious she doesnt believe she deserves it.

“Ada-1, I believe, has fully settled into the Tower. She becomes more and more tolerable of the Guardians by the day. And with the discovery of Niobe labs, her mood has been favourable.”

i had no idea how fun scarlet was to write until i got to this part. she almost has her own language, really. writing ‘im really proud of ada because i spent all morning with her and she was only snippy with like two guardians and shes been really uplifted and im really happy for her since they found niobe labs’ in scarlets own ‘okay but heres the relevant information’ way of explaining things is a challenge but FUN. like, really fun??

because scarlet wouldnt be mentioning adas mood if she didnt care, ya know? and its not that she cant say that longer thing about being proud and stuff, its just that she doesnt see the sense in it and its not important information. like, if avia and eden were to spend a dedicated amount of time whittling her down she would absolutely say ‘i am so proud of ada and also i wanna smooch her face how do i do that as an exo’ but its just not a thing for her. but part of the reason why ada and scarlet being together was an idea that i had was because i imagine that line of thinking probably suits ada.

“It was at Ada’s request. I had more knowledge of the area in its current state, and felt more comfortable talking to Ikora and her Hidden agents than Ada did…”

supportive exo girlfriends. that is all. man ive gotta write more about these two

“Hmm,” Ada wears a concerned stare masked behind a formal rigidity that Avia knows her Warlock teammate best for.

if im being honest, i just really enjoy this line. i imagine its hard for exos to show concern, esp a character like ada and my girl scarlet, so avia has spent a lot of time dissecting certain facial cues and yeah im proud of how this description came out aha

…as if she hadn’t spent the past few months clipping sidelong comments and threatening him when his Gambit veered out of the realm of her control.

avia is a control freak. plain and simple, and i wanted to make that as obvious as possible considering this sentence is only a few away from avia choosing to go and talk to drifter.

there’s a certain amount of ‘i need to understand this thing that i have limited knowledge on so i can predict/control/plan for it in the future’ in how avia views drifter in general, its a kind-of warlock way of thinking about things but the big difference is avias need for control in these situations is a) selfish and b) only applies to things that she knows she has a good chance of understanding/taming. shes not going around learning about the hive because she has a good understanding that thats a cosmic threat that can only be defended against until it comes. drifter on the other hand is on her doorstep.

i also really loved the contradiction in putting ‘gambit’ and ‘control’ next to each other in a sentence, i kinda hoped it showed how conflicted avia is about going and talking to drifter, and maybe even how naive it is of her to think that it could turn out okay.

She was incensed, maybe, at the way he spoke to Ada, needed to go and stomp the idea out of his head but he got her talking, like he does

i like this line bc its avia acknowledging that she knows how shes viewed. she knows everyone sees her as a hot-head, she knows her anger veers away from her sometimes and whilst she’s gotten better at getting a handle on it, it’s still an aspect of her that people who dont know her well enough find it hard to get past.

i also enjoy how new people to this fic/avia in general might not know that this is a big part of her? so she’s trying to use it as an excuse, ‘well no one can blame me if i say i got really mad because thats what i do’ and it (hopefully) tells new people about that aspect of her character without having to show the worst part of it, the convo with ada being an introduction to it i guess – especially since the past few scenes have seen her a lot softer than im used to writing aha.

“Dammit,” she mutters under her breath. And walks towards the Drifter before she can make a better decision

fun fact – this line was originally ‘and walks down the corridor before she can make a better decision.’

i changed it because i wanted to make it more obvious that avia is making a conscious decision to choose drifter, that she’s walking towards a path that she knows is not a good idea. it provides foreshadowing for the allegiance quest and referring to him as ‘The Drifter’ cements it as an idea that she’s walking towards and not necessarily a person.

#ask thing #thanks buddy!!!#this was really fun #im such a fucking nerd someone put me in the bin honestly ahahaha #jadeisadork.txt

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timeoutforthee · 6 years ago

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Like it or Not-Chapter 16

Taglist: @itsausernamenotafobsong, @sea-blue-child, @iaminmultiplefandoms, @princeanxious, @uwillbeefoundtonight, @zaidiashipper, @arandompasserby, @levyredfox3, @falsett0, @error-i-dunno-what-went-wrong, @scrapbookofsketches, @podcastsandcoffee, @helloisthisusernametaken, @amuthefunperson, @michealawithana, @yamihatarou, @heck-im-lost, @unlikelynightmareconnoisseur, @idkaurl, @bubblycricket, @fnp-alizay,

Summary: Logan, Patton, Roman, and Virgil are all struggling in their recovery. Their doctors, Thomas Sanders and Emile Picani think they can help each other out.

Aka Group Therapy AU

Trigger Warnings: overexercising, ignorance

Roman creates like it’s the cure for his sickness.

He isn’t sure what his sickness is, if it’s the eating disorder that weighs him down, if it’s all the darkness swirling in his head that he pretends isn’t there, if it’s the smog in his environment that feels like poison in his mouth every time he breathes it in. Whatever it is, he feels like if he has something-a pen, some markers, a script, something-then he can hit the ground running and leave it in the dust.

“So I have one good coping skill?” he asked Picani when they first started working together.

“Hey,” he replied, “It’s more than some people have.”

Ever since he cut theater out of his life, he had felt a sort of emptiness. It was almost as if he had been holding on to something for years, and he finally let it go. He didn’t know if it was a good thing or a bad thing. Either way, he didn’t have time for a moment of emptiness, or of silence.

Which lead them to the current discussion.

“Does your aunt always pick you up late?”

Logan and Patton had already left, leaving Virgil and Roman alone. Usually the group would be too emotionally exhausted to talk after a session, but for some reason, the silence seemed unacceptable today.

“Uh, actually,” Virgil lifted his hand to rub his neck. “My aunt is right there.” He jerked his head in a general direction. Roman looked over and squinted. There was one woman sitting in a silver car. Even from a distance, Roman could see that she and Virgil had similar ice blue eyes.

“Then why don’t you…?”

Virgil groaned, “Like, don’t make it a thing? I just like to make sure you guys get into your cars okay.”

“Wait, so you wait for us to get in our cars and drive off before you go home.”

“I said don’t make it a thing. You’re making it a thing.”

“I didn’t make it a thing, I think it just is a thing,” Roman tried to hide a smirk, but he couldn’t help it, “You secretly looooove us.”

Virgil groaned and tugged his hood down over his eyes. “Can you not?”

“I’m telling Patton.”

“I will leave you, I swear-”

“Noooo, don’t leave me alone,” Roman says.

“Yeah, where are your parents anyway?”

“I guess they’re busy,” Roman says, and there’s a little, anxious voice in his head that whispers they forgot you which is stupid. And he knows it’s stupid. So why is it not going away. “They’ll be here soon.”

As if on cue, a loud horn blares from the opposite side of the parking lot. Virgil jumps (just Virgil, definitely not Roman, nope.) and turns his head. A tall, muscular guy gets out of a stupidly shiny red car and waves at Roman. He waves back, even though his eyebrows are furrowed.

“Who-?”

“That’s my oldest brother, Maximus,” Roman says, cutting him off.

“That’s your brother?”

“One of them, yeah,” Roman shrugs, “Aw, guess I can no longer grace you with my presence.”

“Tragic,” Virgil deadpans, turning to head to his aunt’s car.

Roman walks over to Max, wrinkling his eyebrow.

“What are you doing here?”

“Good to see you too, baby bro.”

“Please don’t call me that,” there’s no bite to it. Max knows Roman doesn’t mind and Roman knows Max won’t stop calling him that. It’s been that way for as long as Roman was actually a baby.

They both get into the car. Roman glances up to the window and sees Virgil pulling away. He sends him a quick wave, and Virgil throws him a little two finger salute back.

“So you’re...making friends at your…” Max does a little circle with his hand.

“What is that?”

“You know...the…” Now he’s making a zig zag pattern.

“You’re making no sense. If you’re trying to ask if I’m making friends at group therapy, yes.”

Max lets out a breath, as if he’s grateful that part of the conversation is over.

“So what are you doing here?”

“You know, I do sometimes just want to check on you guys, you know.”

He really means check on you but neither of them need to say it.

Max is a personal trainer at a gym one town over, putting him basically forty five minutes away. The whole family knows this, because it was something their mother obsessed over when he was moving. People said she did such a good job raising her sons, especially since they wanted to stay close.

So Max and the other oldest, Alexander, stayed close by and visited on the weekends. Key word being “weekends” and not picking Roman up during his therapy appointment. In fact, everyone in his family preferred to stay far, far away from his sessions.

“So, did you draw the short straw this week?”

“What?”

“Well, I assume, since it’s a such a harrowing task, that everyone gets together and draws straws behind my back to see who’s stuck taking me to and from therapy. Did you lose this week?”

“That’s not fair, Roman,” Max says, in the same voice their father uses, “Of course it’s not fun. Do you even like it?”

Roman, for once, keeps his mouth shut. He feels like this is a trick. Say yes and they’ll think he’s going because he enjoys it. Say no and it’s a perfect segue into “great! Guess you don’t have to go anymore!”

Max sighs, and steadies himself, as if he’s been dreading what comes up next.

“You’re my baby brother, Ro. I just wanted to check and make sure you’re okay,” he pauses, “Are you okay?”

Roman turns to look at him, but Max keeps his eyes on the road. So, Roman summons his brightest smile, and just says “Of course!”

“You know, they’ve started yoga classes at the gym,” Max tells everyone at dinner, “It’s really enlightening, and we can take part for free.”

His dad scoffs and he frowns at him. “I mean it, Dad. It’s really cool.”

“Oh, are you opening your chakras?” Philip asks sarcastically, taking a bite of his steak.

“No, but I’m practicing mindfulness and being aware of the present-”

“You can be plenty aware of the present without yoga,” his dad says. Max sighs. He’s not winning this argument, and it’s not worth fighting, so he lets it drop.

“Any interesting clients?” his mom asks, quick to change the subject.

“Well, I’ve gotten a few people in, just some people who started school recently and want to drop ten or so pounds,” he pauses, “But actually...there’s this girl who I’m training.”

“Yes?” his mom prompts.

“She’s recovering from an eating disorder.”

Suddenly, Roman is choking. His family turns to stare at him, which makes everything worse, so he tries to drown the tomato he just swallowed whole with water. After a while, it works.

“You were saying?” he asks, voice strained.

“Huh? Oh, yeah-so this girl has been struggling with extreme dieting a binge eating and such her entire life, and a year or so ago it escalated into anorexia. She’s just now been allowed to start exercising again, and we have to really ease her into it.”

“Why?” his dad asks, “You know what they say-dive in head first, sink or swim.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s just what you say,” Max jokes, “But her body has been neglected for so long that she really needs to build her strength back up. If we help her do that, then she can keep growing. If we just push her in, she won’t be strong enough to ‘swim’.” Max does air quotes around that last word.

“Hm. Tragic how girls can get to that point,” his mom says, taking a bite of her steak.

“Always did find that strange,” his dad adds, “You really wanna know a girl, then take her on a first date to an all you can eat buffet. She gets some steak, she’s a keeper. She wants a salad, she ain’t worth it.”

Roman is suddenly very self conscious of his own little salad. But it doesn’t matter, because no one is looking at him.

“So,” Philip says, leaning back and looking at Max, “Anyway I could convince you to help me out on some workouts? I need to get ready for football. The coach has some workouts for us, but you know. They don’t really compare to one on one.”

“Sure, I can spare an hour or two.”

“You want to get in on that, Roman?” his dad asks, raising his eyebrows, “You don’t have theater anymore, you could always sign up for-”

“I don’t think I’m going to sign up for anything,” Roman says quickly, cutting him off, “But I would like to join, if you guys don’t mind.”

“Sure,” Philip says, shrugging.

Roman turns to see Max staring at him. Not just staring at him, analyzing him, with narrowed eyes.

“Uh, earth to Max?” Roman smiles, and he hopes it’s as dazzling as it always is. Max blinks and shakes his head.

“Of course,” he says, but his eyes are still burning into Roman’s.

When Roman can’t create, he destroys.

He pounds away at the punching bag in his family’s home gym, until it shakes.

“Baby bro,” and why is Max’s voice so gentle? So quiet? “You need to slow down.”

“Maybe,” Roman says, accenting every word with a punch, “You. Need. To. Catch. Up.”

Suddenly, the punching bag is moved back, out of his reach.

“Hey!”

“Try some weights,” Max says.

Roman doesn’t want to try weights. The thing with weights is you could clearly see the numbers. He knew he wouldn’t be on the level of Philip, who needed to stay in shape all summer for football, or Max who was a personal trainer for a living so all he would see was how he was less than, less than, less than.

Instead, he got on the treadmill, and ran. He could hear Max through his headphones, lecturing him about a proper warmup and increasing slowly, and just to spite him, he pushed the button as high as he could stand it.

He could not create, so he tried to outrun. Outrun the sickness, the darkness, the poison. But as his sneakers hit the ground, he knew he wasn’t really going anywhere.

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questionofdarkness · 7 years ago

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Hello ! Can i get a matchup ?? Im a Chinese girl with brown eyes and straight brown hair ;; im Pan , INFP. When people forst see me , im an awkward stick shuffling around and very fidgety and blushy but once i open up to people im the "mom friend" fretting over people and make a lot of inappropriate jokes lmao ;; I enjoy drawing and baking and i do have the habit of daydreaming / dozing off;;; Thank you !!

Hello, my friend! After what feels like a whole freaking year, I finally did your matchup! I hope it’s fine :) (also I’m running out of ideas for new scenarios)

I match you with… Hanta Sero!

It would be a long flight from Tokyo to Paris, but you were more than willing to take up with that in order to get to see the beautiful city yourself. You weren’t as eager to be squished next to a complete stranger for twenty hours, because – of course – you were the unlucky person from your class that had to sit alone. You walked down the narrow path anxiously. Would it be an angry old man? Maybe some woman that felt the need to share her whole life story? A teenager with headphones on which were way to loud? More and more of your classmates sat down as you walked further. There was, apparently, another class in the same flight, you hear someone shouting and immediately knew that, with your luck, angry boy was going to be your neighbor for the next day. You spotted a blonde boy with hair like a messy dandelion, leaning over the seat in front of him and shouting at someone crouched there. You were more than relieved to see the seat next to him occupied by a dude with sharp teeth and a girl with pink skin. But you wouldn’t escape angry boy either way, because your ticket pointed to right to the row in front of them. There sat, at the window, the laughing person and next to him a… surprisingly normal looking boy. He had black hair and big teeth that were also visible in a huge grin. You felt a blush creep up your neck. What were you supposed to do? Introduce yourself? Say something? You decided to just awkwardly sit down and clutch to you bag like it was the only thing keeping you alive. At least the seats were comfy and big. The group cast a quick glance at you – which you tried to ignore – but then choose to just go about their business. You tried not to listen, but you picked up some names, “Bakugou” and “Pikachu” and “Shitty hair”. They calmed down during the safety instruction, after a seemingly homeless man shouted at them and the flight attendant started over for the third time. You were fidgeting with the straps of your backpack and wished you had already been allowed to take out your phone.

“Hello”, there suddenly said a voice to your left and you couldn’t help jump a little. It was your black haired neighbor, offering you a friendly smile. The rest of his friends seemed otherwise occupied. “I’m Sero Hanta, nice to meet you.” His smile grew wider. You shyly introduced yourself as well, unsure about the purpose of this conversation. “This your first flight?” he continued asking. You nodded. “Would you like some chewing hum? It helps with the pressure when taking off.” He handed you a pack of orange flavored ones and you hesitantly took one. “So, what brings you to Paris?” “Class trip.” “Really? Us too! We’re going to work with the some French Pros in the country side to gain more knowledge about different areas!” “So… you’re heroes then?” “UA’s class 1A.” He seemed very proud. He kept chatting with you, as if it was the easiest thing to do, and only stopped when his friends demanded his attention or poked fun at him and his new “girlfriend”. You found yourself more relaxed with time, but weren’t unhappy when after some time he grew tired and went to sleep. You doodled for a while, trying to tune out the engine noises and snoring, and eventually fell asleep as well.

You said his goodbyes at the airport before getting dragged along by his classmates and the homeless guy, who apparently was much less homeless and much more their teacher. Your friends curiously asked about him, but you weren’t so sure what had just happened either. Some of them seemed to recognize him from the sports festival and others were jealous because you got to talk to an UA student, but you didn’t really listen to them. What a weird encounter. But he had been very nice.

A week later, you had pretty much forgotten about it. You didn’t expect to be greeter by dandelion dude the first thing you bored the airplane, shouting at a green haired kid who was waving his hands around protectively. You noticed the students, or those which you recognized, seemed extremely tired. Some of them carried bruises or bandages, all of them featured circles under their eyes (maybe except that one with the bird head, because???). You passed down the aisle, sat down in your seat next to one of your friends, and tried to spot black hair among the other passengers. It was then that a girl from your class, probably the shyest person you had ever met, tapped your shoulder and timidly asked you to switch seats. You wondered why the sudden request, because you had drawn lots way back and she knew she’d have to sit alone this time for long. She pointed at her seat where you found – and you weren’t really surprised at this point – the familiar face of Hanta. Hesitantly, you got up. At least you had already met him, so it would be a lot easier for you to spend yet another day with him, than for your friend. And you took your job as the mom friend very serious. “What are the odds?”, he greeted you, “let me guess, Bakubro drove her away?” “What the fuck did you say?!” Ah yes, just like back then.

He, again, talked a lot, telling you all about their week with “Marcheur d’air” and “Féline” or whatever their names were. It was surprisingly easy to be part of the conversation, though you still found yourself fidgeting with whatever it was you got between your fingers. You found out Hanta, who had behaved like a mom friend and voice of reason from the beginning, apparently also had a very humorous side to him, as he took use of the space between him an “Bakubro” to tell you as many embarrassing stories about the blond as he could.

He could, however, also be timid, as became apparent when it was time to part ways again. He was blushing, his wide grin weirdly forced, and his eyes fixed on the ground as he searched for words. “Listen, I know you didn’t really have a choice and I just kinda didn’t stop talking, but I really enjoyed having you as my seatmate and I would like to see you again without having to fly to Europe.” He laughed. “So… no pressure, but… would you maybe like to go out with me sometime?” He fixed your eyes with his and you blushed as well, but you accepted the offer and the piece of paper he handed you, his number written on it. There wasn’t much time for anything else, because people were shouting at both of you to move your asses and get back to the rest of the class, so you awkwardly waved goodbye as you walked in separate directions. No one asked why your faced looked like you were about to spontaneously combust, or maybe you just didn’t hear them, lost in your thoughts.

It was a weird first date, as neither of you were very sure about what to do, but after some time the tension vanished and you found yourself talking like back in the airplane.

The second date didn’t really feel like a date, more like friends catching up after a while.

The third day you anticipated with a warm feeling in your stomach. It was then he quickly pressed his lips on yours before disappearing in the metro.

You couldn’t even remember when it became official, it might as well have been never, because people assumed you two were crushing on each other since the very beginning.

You share a sense of humor and the tendency to be the mom of the group, although that isn’t exactly visible when the two of you are together. He is a lot more extroverted than you, so it is mainly him that wants you to also spend time with his friends, but you can adapt quickly as they are a lot like him and actually, through all the shouting and bad jokes, very good people. He has strong aspirations and dreams and needs your support at times, as his quirks is neither the strongest nor the flashiest and he can become very self-conscious about that, which also gives him the need to try and impress people. He at some point even admitted that one of the key reasons he even spoke to you in the first place was to prove himself to his friends – that and because you are, quote, “one of the prettiest girls he has ever seen – and that although he goes to class with Yaoyo-Momo”. He started comparing your pastries to Satous at some point, which made you feel a bit weird at first, but as most of it was compliments, you took it without complaining. It can at times be a bit tiring to hang out with Sero, because he talks a lot and is energetic – though not bubbly – and it’s hard for him to contain that when you want to spend some quiet time. He tries his best though, which you very much appreciate.

#bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #matchups #bnha matchups #mha matchups #boku no hero academia matchups #my hero academia matchups #sero hanta #hanta sero #anon #askblog #matchups by me

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dazingsky · 7 years ago

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video messages (Reddie)

Helloooo! This is relatively short, (Im sorry!!) I’m on holiday though!! It’s a beach holiday so i’m not really doing anything, so i’m writing basically constantly!! So leave me requests for like any ships from IT!! I’m doing Hc’s, Fics, and one shots, so request anything here

Summary: Request: (Sorry if you aren't doing these!) but imagine Richie being a Super Softie (tm) around Eddie. BUT Eddie secretly takes videos of Soft Richie and sends them to the losers because they don't believe it when Eddie says Richie isn't always a Trashmouth (tm)

Wordcount: 1,549

“You look so cute today Eds.” Richie smiled, ruffling his boyfriends hair. Eddie rolled his eyes, a blush forming on his cheeks, as it often did when Richie was like this.

Richie acted like a comedian around all of his friends. He was cocky, and inappropriate, and could only be serious if you begged him. He was loud, and his friends all called him Trashmouth, because of his loud personality.

But around his boyfriend he was completely different. He was much ore quiet, and he didn’t crack any outrageous jokes. He was much nicer around Eddie. It was probably because Eddie didn’t take Richie’s shit. When Richie was with the losers, he would happily ride his bike around, and spend hours running around, and messing about. But with Eddie, Richie just wanted to sit on his couch, and hold Eddie in his arms, and play with his hair.

Eddie instinctively rose his hand, going to fix his hair. Richie grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers together, absentmindedly. His attention was focused back on the cartoons that were playing on Richie’s TV in Richie’s living room. They were watching old Mickey Mouse cartoons, because Richie didn’t want to get up and put a movie on. Eddie bit his lip, watching as Richie squeezed his hand, gently.

“Don’t call me Eds.” Eddie stated, shaking his head. Richie rolled his eyes, and scoffed in Eddie’s ear. His breath tickled Eddie’s neck, which made Eddie blush. Again.

“Would you rather I called you Eddie Spaghetti?” Richie asked, smirking, though Eddie couldn’t see him. Eddie was lying in between Richie’s legs, his head resting on Richie’s chest. Richie was sat with his back against the couch. Richie had his head bent slightly, so he could annoy Eddie, by whispering to him, about nicknames.

“No..” Eddie mumbled, shaking his head. Richie’s lips made their way to Eddie’s cheek, where he left a soft kiss. Eddie sighed loudly, turning to look at Richie properly. “Why are you like this?”

“Like what?” Richie asked, a laugh tumbling out of his mouth, and blocking the sound of the cartoons.

“Like all cute and shit!” Eddie practically shrieked. Richie’s laugh grew louder, as he titled his head back. Eddie shook his head, rolling his eyes, quickly. “It’s annoying. Very annoying.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, let me be a bad boyfriend.” Richie teased. Eddie glared at him. Richie burst into laughter again, shaking his head. “That’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever said, Eddie Spaghetti.”

“Shut up!” Eddie snapped, pointing a finger at Richie. “It’s annoying me!” Richie rose an eyebrow, and Eddie huffed.”None of the others believe me when I say that you’re cute. They all tell me I’m being ridiculous. That Richie Trashmouth Tozier can’t be sweet!” Richie laughed, in a teasing tone.

“They’ll never see me being sweet! That’s reserved for my Eddie Bear.” Richie continued, wrapping his around Eddie, and hugging him tightly. Eddie was blushing again, and also attempting to swat Richie’s hands away. Eddie gave up, after Richie kissed his head, making Eddie’s head spin. Everything Richie did had a dramatic effect on Eddie. He had only found out last summer that he liked Richie.

They had been at Bill’s, for the fourth of July. They had been listening to whatever playlist Ben had put on. It was mostly hits from the 80’s, with occasional 90’s, and early 2000’s pop ballads. A slow song had come on, and everyone had teased Ben over it. Eddie couldn’t even remember what song it was, he just remembered Richie pulling him up, when Mike pulled Stan and Bill up, to dance. They were doing a slow sway, pretending to hula dance, in Ben’s back garden. Richie had pulled Eddie close, and swayed with him.

“Why are we slow dancing, this isn’t even a sow dancing song.” Eddie had asked quietly. Richie had shrugged, smiling slightly. He interlocked his fingers with Eddie’s, His hand was already resting on Eddie’s hip. Eddie had his hand placed on Richie’s shoulder, and was grateful that Richie had a strong grip on Eddie’s other hand, because otherwise Eddie would have fallen over. He was suddenly horrifically self-conscious. He had no idea why.

“I wanna slow dance, and you’re dainty enough to dance with, Eds.” Richie still had the small smile, gracing his lips. Eddie felt his heart almost burst. Fuck, he looks so cute, Eddie thought. And then he panicked. He couldn’t have a crush on Richie. Richie would hate him. And he couldn’t throw away his friendship with Richie over a thought, though. So he kept his mouth shut.

Although that one thought turned into hundreds. And two months later Richie was the only thing on his mind. He was constantly thinking about him. About what he was doing, About what he was thinking about. Everything. It all overwhelmed him, so much so that one day he didn’t show up to a meet up, with the rest of the group. Richie was worried, went over to Eddie’s house, and climbed through his window.

“What are you doing here?” Eddie had whispered harshly, as he shut his bedroom door. “If my mom see’s you, she’’ flip her shit!” He was panicked. His mother would actually kill him. She hated Richie with a burning passion.

“You missed the meet up! We were all waiting for you!” Richie shrugged. His voice was soft, and his eyes were filled with concern, behind his large glasses. “I got worried.”

“Worried?” Eddie repeated, his eyes going slightly wide. Richie nodded slowly, Eddie felt his heart race, as it set in that Richie had been worried about him. Eddie bit his lip, looking down slightly. “You shouldn’t worry.” He muttered after a second.

“Why didn’t you come today, then?” It was a simple question, but Eddie couldn’t answer it. His mind raced with excuses, but none came out. “Are you sick?”

“Lovesick.” Eddie muttered, running a hand through his hair. He realised it slipped out, and looked up quickly. Richie stared at him for a second.

“Do you like Bev?” He asked quickly. His eyebrows were raised in alarm, and his voice was shrill. He sounded panicked. Eddie looked at him, confusion written all over his face. “You totally like Bev! Fuck!”

“I don’t like Bev! Jesus, keep your fucking voice down!” Eddie snapped. Richie bit his lip, still staring at Eddie. “Why are you so shrieky today?!”

“Because when the boy I like says he’s lovesick, it worries me!” Richie snapped back. His face quickly turned to shock, as he realised what he said, but he didn’t have time to overthink it, because Eddie was kissing him, and Eddie’s body seemed to go into shock.

It always happened. Every damn time. He site quietly, standing up from the couch, and stretching. “You gotta stop with the nicknames.”

“But they’re great!” Richie protested, shrugging as he lay down on the couch, stretching slightly, after watching Eddie do it. He bit his lip, staring at Eddie, who rolled his eyes again.

Eddie grabbed his phone from his bag, which was sat on the floor. Richie was watching him, smiling slightly. “Staring is creepy, Richie.” Eddie stated, looking back at Richie. He looked back at his phone, reading the texts from the losers.

Stan the man:

I can’t believe you bailed on us, Eddie

Stuttering Bill:

And to hang out with Richie, ew

Eddie Spaghetti:

He’s being insanely cute today, sorryyyy

Stan the man:

Impossible, he’s Richie.

The text made Eddie roll his eyes. A lightbulb went off in his head, though, as he turned back to Richie, completely. Richie was still watching Eddie. Richie flashed Eddie a grin, and Eddie smiled.

Eddie walked back over to his boyfriend, and sat down on his lap. Richie rose an eyebrow, putting his hands on his boyfriends hips. Richie’s hands slipped under Eddie’s t-shirt, his fingers drawing small patterns on Eddie’s hips. Eddie couldn’t help but smile.

Eddie was already on the camera app, pressing record, Richie didn’t notice. He was still staring at Eddie, smiling. Eddie pretended to be preoccupied, fake typing on his phone. Richie’s grin turned into a pout, which Eddie pretended not to notice.

“What are you doing, Eds?” Richie questioned, quietly.

“Texting Stan.” Eddie muttered quietly, pretending to type again.

“You should pay attention to me instead, baby boy!” Richie’s voice was soft, the smile making a short reappearance. Richie grabbed one of Eddie’s hands, lacing their fingers together, which he loved to do. Richie pulled Eddie’s hand towards him, and kissed it. Richie grinned again, he kissed Eddie’s hand again, and again. He smiled at Eddie each time.

Eddie stopped recording, and sent it to his groupchat, quickly. He leaned down, and played a soft kiss on his boyfriends lips. Richie kissed back, smiling into the kiss. Richie’s hands held Eddie’s face in place, as he moved his mouth against the other boys.

Eddie’s phone buzzed in his hand, but he ignored it, as he deepened his kiss with Richie. If he had of checked he would have seen the texts his friends were sending

Stan the man:

That was disgusting, never send me gay shit like that again.

Stuttering Bill:

Stan, babe, we’re guys dating..

Stan the man:

Bill, shut up.

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slyth4rin · 4 years ago

Text

dear diary,

a rather long entry because im upset

it's funny how i used to believe i was someone special— someone who was above the rest in terms of looks, wisdom and manners. mind you, i was more or less ten hears old when my parents put this idea into my fat little brain. however, as i got older, i realized just how useless i actually am. when i started to meet new people, i was suddenly hit with an unfamiliar scent— the stench of reality. one where the world doesn't revolve around my petty little ass, where i wasn't the star of my own show, and where i was just a normal girl going through puberty while trying her best to stay afloat and sane.

i knew deep in my heart that with what little talent i have, i could never keep up with my peers at all and, consequently, end up doing the bare minimum. my attitude towards everything took a massive dip and i didn't think i could ever suck more. i don't excel in anything. with music, i can read notes. i'm even confident enough to say i'm good at it. but when it comes to the things that matter in this shallow world we live in, i'm a nobody. i somewhat have a sense of rhythm and beat, but my coordination is shit so i can't play the guitar and drums. the piano bore me at one point in my childhood because all my relatives forced me into it. also, being compared to my sister in terms of musical prowess landed a huge blow to my ego (i wasn't good enough for them, i guess). i was scared to pick up on the piano ever since. singing is a big no as well since my vocal chords seem to be all over the place and the violin hurts my ears.

with dance and theater, i've never really got the chance to explore. i was sure i sucked judging by the endless class plays and mass demos in school so i just opted to cross it out of my list. i'm a lazy person by nature and subconsciously very proud; if i wasn't good at something from the get-go, then it's not worth it. it sounds more like an excuse than anything else but that's it. like i said before, my coordination is shit so i'm not good at dancing. i honestly think, however, i could improve my dancing if only i had a big room all to myself and full body mirrors just so i can see myself move and know what to fix. sadly, my parents and i don't meet eye to eye on that topic. my acting is shit too and i think it's because im way too insecure about myself. i care too deeply for what others think of me and don't want others judging me by how i look when i act (like facial expressions and body movements which actually look awkward). i hesitate more often than not and give a half-assed performance 99% of the time. i realized this long before everything else because i used to want to be the lead in old school plays but i couldn't do much. i was so self-conscious that my thoughts keep on eating me up. "what if they see my tummy looking extra fat today?" "did i stutter again?" "i need to look pretty no matter what".

when it comes to art, i think i'm ok. below average, but just a little bit past the point of actually sucking. i can't draw for shit, because i don't know how others find their art style. i can't do realisitc art like portraits, buildings and animals. i tried doing anime but i always mess up the placements of which part goes where. i can do chibis at best. i sometimes go off on shading which makes things less attractive and idk how to fix that. it's like i can imagine things but i can't put it on paper. my brain is somehow disconnected to my hand, and they say lefties are the artistic ones. with color, however, im good at that. i know the color wheel by heart and can mix and match colors better than most. i also tried doing digital art and somehow im better at that maybe because i can trace photos easily lmao. calligraphy is meh since my handwriting is ugly. i can pretend to have fancy writing but can't maintain it for a long time and just revert back to ugly letters.

when talking about literature, i think i'm pretty good though. i'd like to believe im decent at writing; my grammar and technical knowledge is something i could take pride in. however, when it comes to the imagination, like i said before, i find it hard to make ideas a reality. i can write my own ideas but have a hard trouble thinking of what comes next. poetry? i need to widen my vocabulary more. i keep on using repetitive words and my writing style has been the same for years—i want to change that. i want to go beyond conventional poetry and prose writing and discover new ways to make flowers out of garbage. precisely the reason why i'm watching old movies and reading classical books.

i suck at communicating and expression. i can't talk in public because, like i said, i'm too insecure and self-conscious to think properly. public speaking is probably the worst thing i could ever do because when i stand in front of a crowd, my brain suddenly forgets it has a filter. it's like nothing is there while my mouth just speaks whatever it wants to. i oftentimes feel numb and feel like a possessed person when talking to a crowd because of this. i'm doing my absolute best in trying to fix this since i have a passion for public speaking though i suck at it. i'm still too scared to talk in public but i'm taking one step at a time—big crowds won't be seeing me in the near future.

im probably proudest of my fashion sense though. i got over my "mom picks what i wear" phase and because of my knack for doing whatever i can with both colors and fashion, my style has improved drastically. i do my research on the latest trends, do my best to incorporate old trend to new ones and also make my own style while im at it. make up? not too much. it is a different topic after all and i'm just learning. i'm trying my best in learning and will probably spend more than i earn on this hobby.

in conclusion, i'm bad at everything. it's because i lack motivation to explore and try new things. i find it hard to escape the confines of my own little bubble but i promise i'm trying especially now what i'm about to fly out of the nest (hopefully). my insecurities are probably the only things i can't fix and i don't think i will even bother to. it just takes too much energy and i've grown attached to melancholia and the isolation.

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themanicnami · 7 years ago

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Im not sure if your past life tarot reading are open, but if it is, could i have one? Thank you, Davina

1. Early Life: King of Cups

You were a creative child who was interested in all sorts of crafts and arts. You were curious by the world around you but you preferred to explore through the means of your imagination. Your loved to draw the things you thought of or build little crafts.

2. Teenage Life: Reversed Judgement

As you grew into your adolescent years you became more self-conscious. You questioned who you were and your skills. You compared yourself to others in a negative light. You went into denial about the skills you did have and instead could only see yourself as having nothing and being bad at them.

3. Young Adult Life: Wheel of Fortune

As you entered adulthood you became more recognized for your talents. This is your turning point for your life. this is a sign that things are going to improve. You began to improve on your already very good skills and your path for success was paved. You began improving on your income, your way of living moved up a bit. It was not the lap of luxury but you were comfortable and on the way towards your dreams.

4. Adult Life: Page of Wands

This card often represents meeting a lover, you found someone who you felt very deeply for and they returned these feelings. You together began to build your lives and he helped bring more success to you. Likely he was someone else in the same field as you. You built your success together and possibly a shared business of some kind.

5. Late Life: Reversed 9 of Wands

Your doubts returned in your later life, you and your lover likely separated. This hit you very hard and shattered your heart. You felt so alone so suddenly and like all of the fears of your own failure and all the self doubt resurfaced again. You carried this heaviness with you through the rest of your life.

6. How you were seen: Reversed Death

People saw you as someone who was resistance to change and why that separation hit you so very hard. You often looked down on yourself and beat yourself up even when others around. You were a downer and this made it hard for some to spend long periods of time with you.

7. Your Inner Self: 9 of Cups

You longed to be happy, you really wanted to accept yourself. But it was very difficult for you, you tried to be positive but instead just kept beating yourself down. You had a hate love relationship for yourself.

8. Your Purpose: 2 of Pentacles

Your purpose was to design new things and concepts, you were a creator. You helped innovate new things and create things for others. You were an inventor of some kind, this may not be literal though. You may not have built new things but an inventor of new ideas or concepts or practices. This is something that will need more self-reflection to learn more about.

9. Soulmate: Reversed 6 of Swords

You may have very well found a soulmate in this life but they betrayed you. this is difficult to say, because sometimes soulmates don’t realize they have met. Other times they do. Perhaps you in this past life was certain that you did find your soulmate when in fact they weren’t. Or perhaps they did not see that you were theirs. This is another thing needing some self-reflection.

10. How it effects you now: Reversed 2 of Swords

This life has brought with it the self-doubt you have felt in this past life. Its something you still struggle with and sometimes it sneaks into your mind. This past life could help you also get over that a bit and help you move forward if you do choose to look into it again.

(FREE READINGS ARE CLOSED!

But I do have commissions up if you are interested.

For more information on these readings see my Past Life Reading Guidelines

To request a past life reading go to my Past Life Reading Commission Page )

#past lives #past life work #long post #teenageglitterwitch4569

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azurera · 7 years ago

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I know you are supposted to get one in your askbox. but guess what. i dont give a shit, and i’m bored as fuck so i did them all. my memory is shit atm so i dont remember some answers to some of these. and my grammar is shit but do with it what you want. g’night ya’ll ~

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more milk, because i can always drink the extra milk, the other way around you would end up with dry cereal and thats just bleh.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? no

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? everything i can find. most unique thing is probably a 10 Gulden bill (very old dutch currency before the euro)

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? I trow as much crap in my coffee as i possible can, sugar, milk. more milk than coffee. give it to me cold, add alcohol. i dont give a shit. thea is just nice to have a little suger thats it. let me enjoy the flaver itself.

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? 9/10 times probably yeah

6: do you keep plants? since a few weeks i sometimes get flowers, so you could say i kind of own plants some times.

7: do you name your plants? i should

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? i scream into the void

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? no, because i sound terrible

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side mostly. or when im really tired my back. usually not my stomach because .. well.. boobs.

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? if i had friends.... no idea tho. i have so many jokes, my life included.

12: what's your favorite planet? PLUTO. VIVA LA PLUTO. the little rings on saturn are also nice. shit this could have been a nice opportunity to make a uranus joke..

13: what's something that made you smile today? i didnt

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? lots of pillows

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! 99% of our soular system’s mass is the sun

16: what's your favorite pasta dish? i dont know. but those swirly things are cute.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? every. colour. at. once.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. i try to stack those memories far far away.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? i dont

20: what's your favorite eye color? i dont have a favorite eye colour. but i love eyes that look like space nebulas.

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. i bought a nice leather bag on castlefest. its very usefull nice and small but it can fit more in it than you think.

22: are you a morning person? if by morning you mean still awake at 4, then yes.

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? lay my dead body to rest on my couch and cuddel with my cat

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? probably not

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? my own house? i dont really break into places.

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? i have to many shoes man..

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? the really over the top fruity onces

28: sunrise or sunset? sunset, (becouse im not a fucking morning person)

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? im thinking of to many things at once and yet nothing comes up.

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? way to many times.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. i only own black socks, becouse then you never have the problem of looking for a pair. sometimes im all for socks, i wear them even when i take of all my other clothes just becouse they are soft and then i wear them to bed and they magicaly disappear. but since i wear dresses a lot i also wear panty’s and stuff. so its not always socks.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. usually that invloves a lot of alcohol. which means that i don’t really rememeber a lot. (which is also probably for the better)

33: what's your fave pastry? pie

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? i think it was a little lion called simba. and im sure its in a box somewhere.

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? yes i love them. but i dont use them a lot becouse a) not many people write me letters and b) i could. write them first. but obviously im a lazy fuck.

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? i just really prefer silence right now.

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i like keeping it clean, but we all know thats not happening.

38: tell us about your pet peeves! i do not know right now. i think

39: what color do you wear the most? black.....

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? the 3 things I always wear are a ring my grandma got me, a ring my mother bought for my 18 birthday that she switched her old wedding rings for. and a mjolnor necklace. I just saw so many people with one. and i really wanted to have one aswell, but not just any, so i went and looked all over this fantasy event and i’ve honestly seen every single mjolnor necklace they had, and then i picked this one.

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? the girl on the train was a nice book (the film a little less) it was just nice to have a book that i could go through quickly.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! not really

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? god its been to long...

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? i still wish for this day...

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? mmmaybe

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. i can not make one up right now. i need to have the righ feel in the right moment.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? PINAPPLE ON PIZZA, PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA, PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? death. yes.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? I only own a few CD’s, and a few LP’s the last one i think was a supernatural christmas cd thing.

50: what's an odd thing you collect? those prayer cards with the picture of the person, you get at a funeral. i have quite a lot of them, so you could say i collect them.

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? suddenly

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? i like the “you cant xx if you don’t xxx” memes. those make for some good jokes. other than that i make my own memes, fresh and local.

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? only parts... i should watch them shouldn’t i..

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? u know who u are.. im sorry..

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? i secretly moved out in a pretty dramatic way to prove my mom that i couldnt go on like that...

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? when they shut the fuck up

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? i do not feel like listening to it now, thats how its making me feel.

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? im both.

59: what's your favorite myth? nice people are my favorite mythical creatures.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? im not really into poetry tho, but sometimes there is one thats just nice, discribing beaty in such a subtle way, that i like it.

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? i don’t give stupid gifts. people either get something epic from me or nothing at all. go big or go home.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? ive been drinking this strawberry/apple/ bananna juice stuff sometimes, makes me feel like i try to be healthy.

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? i keep them in an organized mess (just like my life)

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? its a lovely gradient of light blue/white/ to a bit darker blue.

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? so many people, i suck at being social.

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? ALL THE COLORS

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? sometimes its nice to stare out of the window on those days.

68: what's winter like where you live? shitty

69: what are your favorite board games? i like playing monopoly and slowly see the light dissappear from my friends eyes. or cluedo you know, murder.

70: have you ever used a ouija board? no

71: what's your favorite kind of tea? its this one thea they have at the cinema, the pink one. the rosy stuff. its so good.

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? i should note it down. but then i forget to read it. so yeah, ill mess up either way.

73: what are some of your worst habits? i tent to complain a lot, becouse i always hope it will make me feel better when there is to much going on in my head. but sometimes i just keep going, and i dont even know how bad its getting, and i probably pull myself down into some negative spiral and well then we’re fucked again.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. you fucking pancakes.

75: tell us about your pets! MY CAT IS THE MOST ADORABLE LITTLE SHIT, HE IS SO CUTE. AND LOVES CUDDLES. AND HIS FLUFFYNESS IS. i can keep going forever.

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? its getting pretty late. i should sleep.

77: pink or yellow lemonade? mmmpink?

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? i hate them.

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? im trying to think of one. but my memmory is shit atm.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? just white. makes it look bigger.

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. NEBULAS

82: are/were you good in school? soommeeetimessss

83: what's some of your favorite album art? I do like GACKT his album art tho. the costumes he wears are nice.

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? i have been thinking of this design of a music G thingy that looks like a cat. its really cute. but i cant even commit to where i put a sticker let a lone where to put a tattoo.

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? i have quite a lot of constantine comics, to satisfy the fact that the series quit after 1 season.

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? no idea

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? stonehenge appocalpyse

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? not sure

89: are you close to your parents? *crying sounds*

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. i love all cities except the one i live in. Im such a slut for older building and architecture. old gothic churches man. oh my god.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? france, for sad stuff, and i hope to see my german potato this year <3 if i can make it...

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? SMOTHER THE FUCKER IN CHEESE.

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? just long, straight now. or either in like a clip. when its to hot to have it all down.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? i saw on my calander at internship that one collegue had his birthday today.

95: what are your plans for this weekend? convention staff meeting on saturday, looking into something for sunday..

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? *hysterical laughter*

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? no idea, leo, huffelpuf

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? in germany i think. to long ago. i love mountains, and walks, and beaches.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. PIANO’S

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years into the past to kill myself. :”D absoluutly.

#blep

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baibaibitches-blog · 8 years ago

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FUDGE

OMG I KNOW YOU'LL THINK IM INSANE BUT HEAR ME OUT, YEAH?? •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Okay, so I've been really interested in Alien stuff lately and I found this list of symptoms of abduction and found them scarily similar to my experiences. Such as loss time, fear of closets, being alone, feel like someone is watching me at night, etc. Basically there is a lot that I correspond with. http://humansarefree.com/2015/01/72-possible-signs-of-alien-abduction.html?m=0 I dunno if it linked so I'll just give the list ••••••••••••••• 72 signs you were abducted by aliens... 1 – LOST TIME: A period of time, from minutes to several days, in which you cannot recall what happened to you or what you have done. 2 – UNUSUAL MARKS: On your body like scars, scoop marks, laser cuts in series on ankle, wrist or back. Any scars which you’re unable to explain where you got them from. 3 – TAPPING OR HUMMING NOISES: Hearing these sounds upon odd occasion such as bedtime, just prior to sleep. 4 – BEING WATCHED: A feeling you get, during or just prior to sleep at night. 5 – SLEEPWALKING: You wake up in a different place from where you went to sleep and do not know how you got there. 6 – SEEN A UFO: During your life you’ve seen UFO’s or seen strange lights in the sky. 7 – NEED TO TRAVEL: A strange compulsion to walk or drive to another location without any explanation. 8 – UNEXPLAINED MEDICAL PROBLEMS: Sudden illness, sinus problems, fatigue, migraines or rashes. 9 – UNABLE TO SLEEP: You experience insomnia by way of nightmares, dreaming of UFO’s or being devoured by animals with large black eyes. (Usually associated with common wild animals such as owls, coyotes or wolves.) 10 – IMPLANTS: Your physician or you discover small, strange object inside your body that cannot be explained. Common places are the hip, ankle, foot, nose or hand. 11 – TERMINATED PREGNANCY: You become pregnant and within a few months the pregnancy is terminated, without any explanation or discharge. 12 – SPERM SAMPLES: You believe you have had intercourse in the night or have had semen extracted from your body. 13 – PSYCHIC ABILITIES: You suddenly feel as though you have obtained some degree of psychic ability without any explanation for it. 14 – PARALYZED IN BED: Waking with immobility. For some reason you cannot move your body for a few seconds or minutes. 15 – BALLS OF LIGHT: Flashes of light or beams of light glimpsed through the corner of your eyes or seen directly, head on in your bedroom at night. 16 – DREAMS OF FLYING: Repeated dreams of having the ability to fly or of flying over your house or a familiar area. 17 – STRONG MEMORY: A very strong memory of something unusual such as floating through the air, lying upon an examination table, seeing a hypodermic needle or seeing a strange, skinny baby. 18 - COSMIC AWARENESS: A sudden interest in ecology, environment, vegetarianism or you just become very socially conscious for no apparent reason in your adult life. 19 – YOUR MISSION: You become aware of a strong sense of duty, a mission in life. You have a compulsion to fulfill a task in life but you don’t know exactly what it is or why you have this feeling. 20 – “SPECIAL”: You have a feeling that secretly, known only to yourself, you are special or chosen by someone, somehow. 21 – UNEXPLAINED EVENTS: You have had occurrences in your life which you cannot understand or explain to anyone. 22 – PSYCHIC: You have had the experience of knowing something was going to happen before it happened and then – it did happen! 23 – EYE DREAMS: You remember dreaming about large eyes. Usually familiar wildlife animals such as deer, elk, moose, owl, wolf or coyote. All you remember about the dream are the unusually large eyes. 24 – STARTLED: You awaken in the night, sometimes frequently, feeling a sense of panic or anxiety for no apparent reason. 25 – PICTURES OF ALIENS: You have an aversion to looking at any picture or drawing of an alien, similar to the greys shown on the cover of the book: “Communion”. 26 – FEARS OR PHOBIAS: You have inexplicable feelings of aversion to heights, snakes, spiders, large insects, certain sounds, bright lights, personal safety and/or a fear of being alone. 27 – SPECIAL PLACE: You have a memory of a special place with spiritual significance when you were a youngster. 28 – SELF-ESTEEM PROBLEMS: You have experienced that low worth feeling much of your life. 29 – SEEN IN SLEEP: Someone with you, a partner, become paralyzed, motionless or frozen in time, especially at or during bedtime. 30 – CRAFT OR ALIEN: You have someone in your life who claims to have seen a UFO, been abducted or has witnessed missing time. 31 – BLOOD: You have had times when you found blood, or small drops of blood on your pillow with no explanation how it got there. 32 – UFO’S OR ALIENS: You have had an interest in these topics in your mind with no idea why. 33 – AVERSION: You have an extreme aversion to talking, seeing or listening to any mention of the subject of UFO’s, aliens or abductions. 34 – BEING WATCHED: You have the feeling you are being watched most of the time, especially at night. 35 – SOLID OBJECTS: You have the feeling of having had your body pass through solid objects such as doors or windows. 36 – FOG OR HAZE: You have seen fog or haze when it should not have been there. 37 – NOSE BLEEDS: You have had nose bleeds at some time in your life without apparent cause or you have awoken with a nose bleed. (I had nosebleeds from childhood through my teenage years.) 38 – SORENESS: You awaken with soreness in your genitals which cannot be explained. 39 – BACK OR NECK PROBLEMS: Your back aches without cause or you awaken with unusual stiffness in any part of your body. (I still have that symptom, but it might just be arthritis at my age. Ha!) 40 – ELECTRONIC MALFUNCTION: Certain electronic appliances, (computers, digital watches, etc.) seem to malfunction in your presence with no explanation. Street lights going out when you walk under them or radio and television being affected when you walk by. 41 – RINGING IN THE EARS: Frequent or sporadic ringing in your ears on just in one ear. 42 – BEHIND YOUR EYE: A headache, especially in the sinus, or in just one ear. 43 – MEDICAL PROCEDURES: Dreams of doctors doing medical procedures upon your body. 44 – GOING CRAZY: Having the feeling that you are going insane for even thinking about these sorts of things. 45 – PARANORMAL: Experiencing psychic or odd experiences including intuition. 46 – COMPULSIVE/ADDICTIVE: This behavior either throughout your life or onset at adulthood. 47 – URGE TO TAKE VITAMINS: Do you feel compelled to take more vitamins as the years pass? Do you feel somehow it is helping ‘replenish’ your body? 48 – AFRAID OF THE CLOSET: Have you ever been or are you now afraid of your closet or any closet in the house, having to make certain the door(s) are always shut? 49 – SEXUAL OR RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS: Have had or are having an odd feeling that you must not become involved in a relationship because it would interfere with something. 50 – REMAIN VIGILANT: Fear that if you do not remain vigilant you will be taken away by someone. 51 – DIFFICULTY TRUSTING: Have trouble trusting other people, especially authority figures such as doctors. 52 – DREAMS OF DESTRUCTION: Dreams about catastrophes such as the end of the world. 53 – DON’T TALK: You have the feeling you should not talk about these things or that you are not supposed to talk about these things. 54 – SLEEP AGAINST THE WALL: You feel you must have your bed against the wall. 55 – LOCKING ALL DOORS: You double and triple-check locking up at night to prevent something or someone getting into your home. (I am still compulsive about that, from time to time.) 56 – CHILDREN OR PARENTS: Have talked about things on this list or you have heard them talk to others about things on this list. 57 – NO SUCCESS: You have tried to resolve some of these problems in your mind but with little success. 58 – NO RECALL: You have experienced many of these traits but cannot remember anything related to any abduction experience. 59 – DREAMS OF FLOATING THROUGH WINDOWS 60- DREAMS OF FLOATING IN A BEAM OF LIGHT 61 – DREAMS OF ALIENS, DOCTORS AND OPERATIONS 62 – COMPULSION TO BECOME A VEGETARIAN 63 – COMPULSION TO STUDY ASTRONOMY 64 - COMPULSION TO STUDY QUANTUM PHYSICS 65 – EXPERIENCE SYNCHRONISTIC HAPPENINGS 66 – EXPERIENCE BEING OUT OF BODY (OBE) 67 – EXPERIENCE FLASHBACKS – (Strange craft, conference, corridors, glowing-misty oval room with table, alien exam, instruments, babies, hybrid children, ufo sightings, etc.) 68 – HAVE FEAR/WARINESS OF A CERTAIN PLACE 69 – HISTORY OF FAMILY UFO EXPERIENCES 70 – SEE SAME NUMBERS ON THE CLOCK LINED UP (Such as awakening at 1:11 a.m. or 3:33 a.m.) 71 – SEE HOODED FIGURES, STRANGERS DRESSED IN BLACK 72 – AWAKE IN OTHER POSITION/PLACE ••••••••••••••••••••••••• I find this very interesting because when I was younger, I was OBSESSED with aliens and space and used to constantly build ships out of legos and draw spaceships. Heck, I have a space calendar in my room rn. Don't even get me started on Star Wars, Star Trek, and Doctor Who. When it talks about technology going weird around you,(I think it's in this list but if not this was a common symptom as I was researching earlier.) that happens all of the time. My light in my room constantly goes out, my phone is always freaking out, and the microwave light comes on at random times. I'm only going to explain a few of the things that have/do happen to me. •••••••••••••••••••••••••• There are literally WEEKS of my life I can't remember. I will wake up and think, what just happened. Because I LITERALLY have no clue what I did the past few hours, or days, or weeks. The weeks usually happened when I was around 6 or 7. It's usually just a day or two to a few hours at a time. About every other month or so. I wake up a lot with random bruises scattered across my body. I have them on my upper arms, shins, ankles, and back mostly. It's the weirdest thing. It's been happening since about second grade. As of the tapping and humming noises, oh my gosh. I sometimes think I'm actually going insane. I always hear tapping at my door, my wall. And I hear humming while trying to sleep like, In my ears. This hasn't happened a lot lately. Just every once in a while. I have told my friends this over and over again. I always feel like I'm being watched. My friends are always so confused when I keep looking behind myself because there's nothing there. In the fourth grade, at least 2-3 times a week, I would wake up feeling like I had just had sex. I used to think I got raped every week. ••••••••••••••••••••••••• Sorry for the long post~ I just think it's cool even though my stuff is boring;; sorry lol

#aliens #space #alien abduction #spookspook #none of you read this but okay...

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