#im kermit forever now

[meaniezuchinni]

Me when I'm talking to other peeps (usually @theangrypomeranian ) about HCs and AUs and fanfic things:

[todayisafridaynight]

What is an Arakawa Family Enjoyer if not a sadomasochist right... BUT I hope family fun time makes for a nice escape from the horrors :) as always, take care! I will of course be looking forward to it!

I've been knocking around the idea of Potential flashback interactions for a bit only because Arakawa's line being "You only live once, so live without regrets." always reminded me of that last phone call between Arakawa and Jo in Soliloquy... where he tells Jo to make his own decision if it comes down to choosing between him and Masato and oughghghgh... I'm sure he's (probably?) talking to Ichiban but GOD. Had to have those kinds of talks with Jo too right...

ALSO ABOUT RGGO ARAKAWA YEAH GKLSHGKJLJ he has immense Distinguished Older Gentleman swag for being only 32 in that scene 😭😭

it's on brand somehow i dont know HOW it just is (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) in any case... i AM almost done with my silly little thing (AND I MEAN IT THIS TIME I JUST HAVE TO COLOR) so... yay :)

HE DEF HAD THOSE KIND OF TALKS WITH JO those fics might only be fics but to me they were secrets from the rgg vault..... listen if arakawa can already be warning jo about joining the yakuza while he's joining the yakuza then i believe he can have them Real Talk talks with him too after the fact......

THAT'S WHAT I MEAAAN it's so fucked up... i get why they had to get rid of it i really do but i miss it.....

[fictionfixations]

LMAO ZEN (doesnt it happen for everyones routes though? i havent done like another story yet tho)

anyway before i get into talking about jumin (as the route im on rn) i wanted to wonder

yknow how certain things happen but only on someones route?

like zen has the echo girl thing, idk what yoosung has i forgor but i think jaehee had that one project??? that got her interested in like coffee stuff? jumin has the arranged marriage?? and seven has like. well. the hacker stuff.

but it never gets mentioned on someone elses route ? i dont think? i feel like itd be more cooler if it was all happening at once as like little references (but either something they can handle or cant handle outside of the route. just like maybe a vague mention of trouble to interest the player in that route, while still making sense from like a timeline standpoint???)

like. people doing things but its not because youre the one pushing it towards that. i like that more. and im curious how chaotic itd be

anyway

JUMIN. (disclaimer: I dont like him)

WARNING i start venting in this post. theres only one mention of a triggering thing (which is warned before the actual vent part but i dont want to put here to bring the mood down more cause in all honesty im over it. im just kind of projecting.)

i think ive said before how i can understand the liking of possessive partners

but. okay maybe its just that i dont like jumin as much as the others but. this is kinda way too much. or maybe its that i value my own independence a whole lot or maybe its because i really dont like the thing with his cat (and i LIKE cats. so giving me a character who likes cats and making me not like them??? ahgeiudhf)

like 'dont leave or ill go insane and make your face known everywhere so i can find you again' like the fuck no w h y CAN I LEAVE

I want to leave i dont care if i get the bad ending get me out of here 😭 (actually i think the bad ending mightve been if we encouraged being compared to like his cat and like. was willing to stay forever.)

e w NO like CHILL

maybe. im. being too extreme. and im just too on edge. but like. can you not. i am not your property?? i am not an object??

now LISTEN i understand marking. like like yknow biting and so and so as like a claim over your partner. and now that? thats hot and i like that. but thats ONLY for the bedroom there comes a point where too much of a thing is a bad thing

ALSO we've known each other how many days has it been. eight?? WE've known each other EIGHT days dont be horny bonk

g o o d . this is good.

STOP. dont talk like you know whats best for a person. like its some thing that'll happen, not a what if.

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. now if he was being more weird id say go home but hes. OKAY. ish. now. like hes trying. and anyway getting him to not do it takes time. and also this is a game of romance fantasies where creepy shit gets played off as kinky or something. (not a jab towards mysme its just the kind of thing its trying to do which can result in uncomfortable parts if you take off your rose-tinted glasses of wOAH ROmANCE. its expected since ppl think certain things are hot when in reality its kind of very not that great)

…CAN I GO HOME???? like BRUH im not gonna accept you just cause you do so and so

why does this feel like a 'nice guy'. maybe this is my bad because this is making me really want to leave buth gdiuhfuih

trigger warning. i vent. mention of kermit sewer slide but nothing actual.

ive been pushing the 'stay here to help jumin feel more calm' but. i do also need to prioritize my own well being and my well being is not happy here rn 😭 (on a serious note though while its important to be there for your partner, its NOT a good thing to give everything to make sure your partners okay, because y'all are equals and as you help them stand they need to help you stand too or you'll collapse under all that and it really wont be a good time. im telling you its very draining. and why i promote the idea of get your shit together before you get with someone because there comes a point where you can be too dependent on your partner which isnt good for you or for them [and they can feel hesitant to express their feelings because they dont want to hurt you, or hesitant to do anything too stressful because theyre like that support pillar for them, and they dont want to do anything that causes otherwise because they dont want their partner to get hurt. it can also mean they go along with what the other wants even if they dont really want to because they dont want to hurt them. am i projecting? ithink im projecting. cause like. ive been there. and honestly i think it kind of fucked me up cause there was like a power imbalance in that one was significantly more fragile and vulnerable then the other, which made me feel like i should be going along with it because i didnt want them to be hurt when they didnt have anyone else they could rely on but me. [i tried to get them to make more friends cause relying on a single person is very unhealthy but no dice] but that also meant that they didnt respect my boundaries or respect me when i say no and instead just gave off excuses to make me change my mind or made me feel like i had to do what they wanted or theyd deliberately hurt themself. so.. it was a lot. anyway it really fucked me up cause i felt like i was in the wrong for not going along with it. blah blah blah. we split. i genuinely have no idea if it was true or not but they'd started saying things to make me feel bad and just not a fun time at all. they were probably in a really dark time in their life but im gonna be honest. i dont know in what scenario its okay to go 'im gonna kermit sewer slide if you dont [blah blah blah]'. so yknow. and this is not really the same but it still feels the same in walking all over boundaries and lines and is especially why i do not like this character a bit. yay trauma.])

i might actually get a bad ending because i. really dont like this.

[thegeminisage]

STAR TREK UPDATE TIME I'M SO FUCKING BEHINDDD ok ok monday we did ds9's "trials and tribble-ations" and "let he who is without sin..." then tuesday we did voy's "future's end parts i & ii," and finally wednesday we did voy's "warlord" and ds9's "things past."

trials and tribble-ations (ds9):

ohhh i wish i'd had time to write about this when it was fresher on my mind. what a wonderful experience and episode. i feel like i got spoiled for the concept of it but it was still so amazing because i just genuinely COULD NOT BELIEVE they could do that. like, the entire thing felt like magic to me. it's not as if they could ask william shatner to reshoot - they could only used what they had from back then. and they made it work and they made it look SO GOD, like, not just for the 90s, but for today. the lighting, the resolution, the colors...everything was flawless. o'brien and bashir in that lineup??? like i wouldn't have known if i didn't know. jesus christ

did i spend a lot of time crying because i was so overwhelmed with my deep adoration for spock? yes. maybe i screamed aloud when he came on my screen. who can say. dax being a spock girlie is so fucking correct by the way i bet william shatner wanted to kermit when that aired. also good on her for bagging mccoy although i think it would have been funnier if she hadn't said which body she was in so we could have fun speculating about bones having sex with men <3

THEM THROWING THE TRIBBLES THAT WOUND UP IN KIRK'S CLEAVAGE...............iconique

odo baby talking the tribbles. incredible. also, worf and the klingon head ridge lore which shall never be explained

and of course let's NOT forget kirk making the sex eyes at sisko. they took that footage from the mirrorverse ep when he was ogling our universe's version of marlena. KIRK CANONICALLY DTF SISKO. CANONICALLY INTO MEN. DIE MAD ABOUT IT. it was so cool and heartwarming but also INCREDIBLY fucking funny

also. ABSOLUTELY gratified they brought some back to ds9 and got away with it. sisko is so fucking cool i love when he rule breaks

just an absolutely magical experience. like, it really blew my mind because i didn't think it was something that could be done. one of the greatest examples of trek pushing the limits of possibility

let he who is without sin... (ds9):

man i wanna like worf in ds9 so bad but like...does he feel off to anyone else? from how he was in tng? don't get me wrong i love ds9 and hated tng and worf in ds9 is Fine the way he was also Fine in tng but i just cant see tng worf cooperating with extremists who are also doing a bit of light terrorism. he'd call them dishonorable and send them packing even if he did agree

also, like, he killed a kid in soccer? by headbutting him? that's tragic backstory but like also kind of ridiculous and funny? i can't believe they played that totally straight. he soccered a kid to death.

anyway, everybody's outfits were very good. i loved dax's mermaid look

also SOOO glad leeta and julian are breaking up so she can get with ROM!!!!!!!! my best friend rom...he deserves so much happiness and i hope they stay together forever and ever amen

anyway like it was Fine im glad dax and worf are back on track but also what the hell...it was very baffling to me as well

future's end parts i & ii (voy):

this one was also Fine. like, the plot didn't make a bit of sense - i thought the 90s in trek were supposed to be some kind of hell hole but after watching space seed they may have just barely gotten by - the eugenics wars ended in 96. still, LA did not look like an area recently decimated by eugenics wars. i'm really interested in that era of trek history, where it veers off from our own history, but so much of it seems muddy and in conflict with itself, which is a bummer

that said, i did have fun watching janeway and chakotay have like a little earth date together. also good for the doc for getting to run around freely now, and sarah silverman was v fun even if she could totally do better than tom paris. everybody's outfits were extremely fun even though tuvok's was uh. well.

HOWEVER. the limited amount of fun i was having was kind of uhhh canceled out by the. random white supremacists??? especially wild choice considering the eugenics wars didn't involve white supremacy because their number one guy was KHAN like what the hell???

i wish i had more to say about it but it was just a genuinely baffling experience. mostly fun, but baffling. the plot was like swiss cheese

warlord (voy):

OKAY THIS ONE WAS FUN. we got off to an extremely rough start (neelix foot massage complete with sex noises) and there was that neelix and kes fight post possession that i hated because it sort of shouted out to my least favorite arc in all of voyager, but AFTER we got into man

man are you ever so tiny and helpless and nice and then you get to go ape shit. good for HER

like yeah fine she was possessed but she got to menace him herself in the end too

her body language was so incredible. she's like so tiny and yet she owned the entire room when she was strutting around like that. i loved her guy voice. i loved watching her murder people in cold blood. i loved whatever lgbt thing they almost did and then pussied out of doing

AND I LOVED. THE SCENE WITH TUVOK. man that dude can ACT. it was so tense and so good and technically he's kissed a man on screen now. i did go back and rewatch that several times because tuvok is my best friend and it was so evil and horrid >:)

anyway absolutely banger of an ep. could ahve stood less neelix but this is true of most voyager episodes

things past (ds9):

OOOOOOH MY BEST FRIEND ODO HAS DONE SOME CRIMES

i really went into this thinking garak was gonna like Learn A Lesson about the occupation because he was gonna be in it without his status as a cardassian to protect him but instead we outed odo as a fuck-up. and you know? good for him

like i felt a little defensive about it at first because it almost seemed like we were just trying to knock odo down a peg when he's already Suffering but the more i think about it the more sense it makes. like, his desire for order is intrinsic to his species, but that desire for order led to something terrible happening, and then by the time he's met kira he has enough self doubt and worry about the consequences of false accusations that he LETS HER GO despite having actually found the correct murderer. it's so delicious

and then the scene at the end where she's like horrified. the way he was horrified when he found out she lied. AUGHGHGHG parallels i can't wait until 1000 years from now when they get together

also, hi, dukat??? like i knew he was a bad person but i thought he was a bad person in like a fun way. sisko's gay little friend who sent him fireworks for his road trip and sat on one of those little spines for kira. but he's like a bAD bad person. was that leeta dax was supposed to have been, in his office? leeta deserves to kill him actually. and like, WHTY is he so into bajoran women. i think we know. like sure siyal's mom was "in love with him" like ok dude. of course he tried to kill ziyal. of COURSE kira was like no she can stay on the station far away from you :)

idk it's like a great reminder that even people who are funny and seem nice and harmless are capable of absolutely unforgiveable acts and all people are layered. everyone is human and everyone has the capacity for being inhumane. etcetc. very good. every time dukat is on screen he gets more interesting

i do kind of wish we had gotten more from garak though...? it feels like he's just There some episodes. i miss when he had more content with bashir go back to queerbaiting us!!!

TONIGHT: voy's "q and the grey" (GROSS) and ds9's "the ascent," or possibly "first contact," or possibly star wars, who knows

[guhamun]

lOVE ON SHIIIIIIIII? MY HOMIE? MY SECOND BOOBIE? I love, sm, the writing, the scenes, the art, the talent, the skills, the gaming choices, the homoerotic mwahmwahs and angsty novella of color theory or specks of sand for ozy's dreams. gods, do i love, i sniff, breath and watch this writing like a goblin in hopes of an notif of ur replies to my spam asks, wink, and do i keel over when i do? damn right, every time. swooning, in love, reachin' out in awe and worship. 10/10 always recommend and will forever say; shi is the shit, the real shit, the must needed shit on the dash, which every ounce of british possitive-foul-sland in the statement.

love ya bih <3

IM LAUGHING PLS LOOOOOL. Gawd I've known you just as long as Ambie now that I think about it. I can't believe how much time has passed since those ancient, far gone days -looks into the distance- BUT UMMM THIS SHOULD BE RIGHT BACK AT YOU HELLO? Me eating up your writing each and every time, floored by how you can balance so many different muses in that noggin of yours. Every time I send in an ask I’m always vibrating waiting for a response, and then when it comes I feel like Kermit waving his arms all over the place. New muse bios on the dash have me feeling like that eye emoji each and every time. Also idk what magic spells you're casting over there but you always know which muses to throw at mine even the more difficult ones. It's some kind of skill idek. IM CRYING THIS WHOLE ASK IS SO CHAOTIC BUT I FEEL THAT LOVE IN DROVES THANK YOU TALA ILU 😭 😭 😭

[suchagallabitch]

💃🏻Weekly Wednesday Tag🕺🏻

let’s please ignore that i’ve missed the last several of these please !! i have been going through it 😍

anyway! was tagged my the wickedly talent, one and onlys, @mybrainismelted @deedala @sam-loves-seb (😙😙😙😙)

Name: elle, elle, bo-belle Banana-fana fo-felle Fee-fi-mo-melle ellie!

Location: the city thats exciting the city that’s inviting the city for a woman just like me??

We'll start with some easy ones! Is there a celebrity you think you look like? If so, who: I was told my ENTIRE preteenhood that i look like rowan blanchard. which to be fair was true we were like identical at one point but now i think we dont really look alike. idk?

Do you still have stuffed animals in your bed? I dont ☹️ in not a big stuffed animal person. I know i have a stuffed garfield somewhere in my room tho.

Who is your celebrity crush? forever and always Diana Agron. Also admitting Jessica Lange. Honestly any blonde has be gulping and acting a fool ✊😔

Have you ever accidentally sent a naughty message to the wrong person? No and i would like to keep it that way.

Have you ever snorted your drink out your nose on a date? i love that this is specifically on a date lol. But i haven’t in general but i have like full on spit out a mouth full of my drink laughing multiple times

Have you ever peed in a public pool? I mean probably? when i was a little kid? not in recent years but who am i to deny the piss allegations?

And we will close it out with some Shameless

Characters Bang/Marry/Kill:

lan/Mickey/Kev: Ok this is gonna be controversial but mind you i am a lesbian and i dont want to fuck any of these men. I’m gonna fuck Kev, Marry Ian and kill Mickey. I KNOW I KNOW THIS IS TREASON. IM SO SORRY MICKEY BUT I REALLY DONT WANNA FUCK YOU AND IAN AND I COULD BE ICONIC GAY BIPOLAR BUDDIES TOGETHER 😭. If Kev had long hair i can also close my eyes and pretend he’s a woman :/

Fiona/V/Svetlana: this is actually sophie’s choice. Im gonna bang svet, marry v and kill fi. like I love you fiona but i dont thini i could stand her enough to be married. and like im gonna have to fuck svet have you seen her??

Frank/Kermit/Tommy: there is actually no right answer here. like kat please go to jail. sigh. I guess if i have to im gonna kill Tommy, marry Kermit and fuck frank 😟

Karen/Mandy/Sandy: immediately kill Karen. Bang mandy, marry the actual love of my life ms sandy milkovich 😍

Jimmy/Sean/Gus: um. fuck jimmy, kill sean, marry gus. honestly i could treat gus better than fiona granted thats not saying much but still.

Thanks for coming to my sleepover! Hope you had fun, we are having banana pancakes for breakfast.

fuck yeah i’ll bring the coffee!!

I tag: @too-schoolforcool @transmickey @purplemagpie @michellemisfit @darlingian @xninetiestrendx @gallawitchxx @thisdivorce @y0itsbri @juliakayyy @auds-and-evens @arrowflier @scarcrosseduntouched @babygirlmickey @crossmydna @sleepyfacetoughguy @depressedstressedlemonzest @energievie @grumblesandmumbles @grumble-fish @mikhailoisbaby @surviving-maybe @thepupperino @themarchg1rl @mmmichyyy 😚😚😚😚

[westmansion]

tagged by @mattibee !! thank u!

Are you named after anyone?

dont think so mom just liked my name, i was going to be named Romana (after the dr who character lol, it was dads idea) but that name went to a cat instead

When was the last time you cried?

Do you have kids?

no but its for the best i think

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

at work sometimes but otherwise i dont think so

What sports do you play/have you played?

outside of PE i played soccer for a bit, i would still love to take up volleyball but im not athletic outside of running rip, i regret not doing too much in college

What's the first thing you notice about other people?

probably outfits, if your shirt is cool i will look and im sorry

Eye colour?

brown

Scary movies or happy endings?

im so soso so so scared all the time forever of scary movies so i dont watch many but im really trying to, my happy ending is "watching" scary movies via their wikis lol

Any special talents?

world record for getting scared for trying to get into horror media as stated above, also world record for becoming obsessed with a game ive only learned about last week

Where were you born?

What are your hobbies?

wuuuugh im not sure anymore, i dont draw as much and videogames are still there but idk, (against my will) i collect figures/art books/hot wheels cars/keychains and i fight 3632828329 wars with CSS everyday and i dink around making music

Do you have any pets?

2 cats, kermit and romaine :) look at them

How tall are you?

5'3" last time i checked

Fave subject in school?

im gonna have to say lit because i wouldnt mind reading the classics or whatever else, its the papers i hated because i get the point but i cant put it in words rip

in college i really loved my storyboarding class, the graphic design classes, and the coding class but coding will be my downfall

Dream job?

i want to archive stuff sooooo bad i just need a good scanner and more harddrives, dont know if thats a job especially now but thats all i wanna dooooo i have things to share!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'll tag @sidetable-drawer since you've tagged me once before :D also i'll tag @happiighost @trick-starr @wickedcr0w @housedurendaire if you wanna!

[disney-slash]

[Image Description: A three page, digital comic of Kermit the Frog and Buzz Lightyear. The first image is a header, with the title ‘Cursed Dream starring’ with a line drawing of Kermit and Buzz Lightyear next to it. The subtitle is ‘Im sorry’ and there are stars around the header. The first page has six panels. The first panel is Kermit and Buzz, litting on a floating piece of rock, with papers flying all around them, they both have their hands in their laps and look unhappy. The second panel is a close up on Kermit, facing away from Buzz, saying “I guess you’ll be going then.” The third panel is a close up of Buzz, looking concerned. The fourth panel is Buzz, with his hand on Kermit’s shoulder saying “Wait.” The fifth panel is a close up on Buzz, looking sad, saying “Not right now.” The sixth panel is a close up on Buzz, looking up, and suddenly in a batman mask, saying “I want to feel this way for one last time.”

The second page has five panels. The first panel is Kermit, looking at Buzz, who is still wearing a batman mask, saying “...” The second panel is Kermit, looking shocked, with lines indicating  alertness around his head. The third panel is what shocked him, a photo of a Buzz Lightyear toy and a Kermit toy hugging, it is one of the many pieces of paper flying around the void they are sitting in. The fourth panel is Kermit looking away from Buzz, with a sad smile, saying “I’m not going to miss you being emotionally stunted again.” Buzz is grinning at Kermit, no longer in a batman mask. The fifth panel is Buzz, one again in a batman mask, gently knocking his elbow into Kermit’s, saying “Don’t worry about it. It like what, a year and I’ll be back to being myself again.”

The third page is four panels. The first panel is a shot from behind, both Kermit and Buzz are looking out into the void, where stars, papers, and rocks are floating. The second panel is a close up on the peppers that are around them, each paper is a picture of toys of Buzz or Kermit. A speech bubble is overlaid, Buzz is saying “We can’t keep time stopped forever.” The third panel is Buzz, without a batman mask, looking at Kermit and saying “See you in thirty years?” The fourth panel is Kermit, smiling and saying “Yeah.” End ID]

So like I had this dream about Kermit and Buzz Lightyear (sometimes Batman) exchanging heartfelt goodbyes at the end of time and the only thing I really remembered was the dialogue, and I polled it on insta if anyone wanted me to illustrate it and the majority said yes so here we are jgdkjfd

[cookiehoodie]

Tell me why I haven’t been in the Miraculous fandom for YEARS and I STILL get so mad whenever a dumb new development happens /hj

[itsdelicate]

i have an extra ig account i use to follow art, craft etc accounts and not have it clog up my main and my name on there is kermit because my icon is a kermit meme so i got into a convo with someone and they called me kermit but the first time i laughed to myself was like yeah lmao i’m kermit ahfjf look at my dp but now the convo is still going on and they think my actual name is kermit and keep calling me that i’m 😭😭😭 why is this so funny

[kris-side]

mr marbles is the LIGHT OF MY LIFE thank you very much Jenna and Julien (and i love the other ones too hdfshsd) 

[sp00kymulderr]

HOW TF DID I NOT READ THIS BEFORE NOW!! IM SORRRY!!

Aghhh Dieter high on edibles at a boring fundraiser is everything I could want, this is so fun and silly and of course there’s a generous dash of your trademark sweet, sexy, feelingsy goodness.

Always and forever obsessed with how you write Dieter. Like, no one gets him like you do I swear.

So so so painfully Dieter. Of course he would and of course he’d suggest that and of course he’d know just how to convince.

The sass of this man istg. This made me giggle

NOT THE KERMIT IMPRESSION DURING SEX 💀 he’s so silly and just wants to make you laugh 🥹

Oh 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 I love him and I love the way he loves and I love you for writing him in love and waaahhh

THIS!!!!!!!! I’m 😭❤️

I want to live in all of your fics please and thank you. I loved this so much

delicious

rating: T (for cursing and drug use)

pairing: dieter bravo x f!reader

word count: 2160

summary: in order to make a fundraising event bearable, you and Dieter take edibles. When the event runs long, your only chance to make it out alive is to find something to eat. 

warnings: drug use (it’s just edibles c’mon you narc), eating, the munchies, messy kissing, dieter bravo being a giant goofball and i hate him, this fic is so self-indulgent i'm embarrassed FOR you, FLUFF

a/n: this one kicked my butt, idk why. But @ravensmadreads says its good so here you go. For my 100 followers event (this is the last one! wow!): @sp00kymulderr asked: Taylor!! Congrats on 100, you’re my favourite blog honestly I check your posts every day just to read your tags lmao. For the celebration can I request some of our sweet boy Dieter with the prompt “We should probably leave, before we start a scandal.” it’s absolutely perfect

🤍Masterlist

After thirty minutes, your eyes are starting to cross. Your high-ribbed dress pinches the soft skin under your tits and the boob tape is starting to chafe your nipples. The ruby red heels have officially given you blisters but the worst – the absolute worst of it – you’re fucking starving.

And the Layaway Barbie at the podium marches on, her big eyes wet and her mouth begging, as she proves to a roomful of donors why they should spend another million in . . . tree-frog rehabilitation. Dieter had been drawn to the little green guys with red eyes on the front of the invitation and as the guest of honor for his “philanthropic” work when he was “dating” a Doctor Without (personal) Borders six years ago, how could he not go?

Let’s take an edible before we go, he said. 

Whatever the vibe, it’ll be better if we’re on edibles, honey. 

That is the last time you let him convince you of anything while he’s not wearing pants and his hand is down yours. 

Your stomach grumbles and you fight back a whine. You make a noise like that and someone will definitely know you’re on drugs. The portly man next you has been staring at you with poorly hidden disgust all night as it is. But for now, his eyes focus in on Layaway Barbie, his loose jowls around his permanently down-turned mouth reminding you of a cartoon character. But which one?

Your eyes narrow at him. He glances at you out of the corner of his eye and it comes to you.

“Droopy!” you yelp and immediately clap your hand over your mouth. Your table mates eye you as if you are some society dredge they did not wish to involve themselves with. 

You turn as best you can in your seat, ready to either be scolded by Dieter or have him laugh with you, but he does neither.

In fact, cross-armed, low in his seat, he lets out a low snore. 

It’ll be fun, he said. 

“Dieter!” You hiss. Nothing. His face is relaxed, lips parting as he falls deeper asleep. Irate you didn’t think of it first, you smack him across the knee. “Dieter!”

He jerks, eyelids cracking open briefly, and suddenly he drops his chin again.

“Thank you for your blessing and influence, oh Lord. Am— oh, hey, baby, what’s up?” 

“Don’t ‘hey, baby, what’s up’ me. You were asleep and you just faked praying.” 

“Better than faking other things,” he yawns loudly, blinks a bit, and realizes the “inspiring” speech (and presentation) is still going on. “Oh, fuck, we’re gonna die here.” 

“Can you please keep it down?” The woman to Dieter’s right snaps. “You are making a mockery of a serious and pressing issue facing our society.”

Dieter blinks at her, his arms still across his chest. You can hear the bitch climb up his throat before he even opens his mouth.

“Well, you’re making a mockery of that dress and you don’t see me complaining–,”

You snag him by the hand and pull him away from the table before the woman has the good sense to throw her drink into his face. 

He stumbles behind you as you push on the metal bar, the latch clicking, and you both tumble out into the empty hotel hallway. When the event started, everyone had been herded in from the other doors, where the lobby was. This looks like the kind of hallway drunk co-eds wander down while trying to find the bathroom after prom. 

Which – ironically –

His big paw clutches your waist as he falls, or rather, stumbles into a tacky maroon and gold wall. In the fumbling under his legs as they overtake you, and keeping the rim of your heels from biting into your already puckered flesh, he manages to pin you beneath him. The instant the smell of his cologne washes over you, the instinct to claw his stupid eyes out evaporates. You sigh, both of his hands cupping your neck. 

“Mhmm, there she is,” he murmurs, sing-song, kissing your nose. “Little hellcat turns baby kitten when she gets what she needs.” 

“You are the biggest idiot I know,” you purr into his ear as his hands slide through the layers of your skirt to your ass. 

“Yes, but I’m your idiot.” The cry you let out when he pinches your ass cheek beneath your dress is all the answer he needs. 

Hands full of your thighs, he rubs you up the wall but there’s too many layers, too much gossamer to get him where you need him. His breath comes in short pants as he presses sloppy, wet kisses to your shoulder, your clavicle, your cheek. 

There it comes again. Hunger. Driven on by –

You bite him.

“Ow!” 

He pulls back and your mouth drops open in horror – you didn’t mean to bite him that hard and –

Your stomach lets out the most petulant growl. 

Hand on his neck like it’s bleeding, Dieter follows your gaze to your stomach as if it had called his name.

And then you both break out into side-splitting laughter. 

He eases you down, giggling, his nose pressed to your temple. Were you at home, the sex would have probably continued, but the atmosphere would be different – playful, teasing – he once did a Kermit the Frog impression while balls-deep inside of you and you laughed so hard you instantly came all over him. 

“Baby,” he sighs through his teeth and kisses your hairline. “I know. I’m so fucking hungry.” He snaps his teeth by your ear and you push him back by his chest. Two goddam years of dating this moron and he still makes you blush like you’re fifteen and necking with a band geek. 

His fingers wrap around your wrist to hold your hand above his heart, kissing your knuckles. He sucks your thumb once before you yelp, and he pushes your fist into his hair as you try to squirm away. He smirks into your neck.

“Dieter!”

“I’m hungry!”

“You’re the one who suggested we take edibles before coming to this thing.” 

“Mhmm, let’s go home and do more drugs.”

“But you owe me dinner. Five Guys?”

“Baby, I have to eat something first to have enough stamina for that.”

“Oh my god, you –,”

He bites you on your earlobe again, grinning as he comes behind you to nudge you down the hall. “I know what you meant. I’m down for burgers, but I want, like, five.”

“Me too. Carry me? My feet hurt.”

“Of course, mah kwehn,” he nods as he scoops you up across his broad shoulders, momentarily taking on the affectation of Jon Snow and his loyalty to the dragon queen. 

You’re working to kick your heels off as he marches the two of you down the hallway and you’ve nearly gotten your second heel off (the first in your lap) when he suddenly stops. 

“Oi, Thomas, we’re not at the train station yet,” you grumble as you reach for your heel, awkwardly tucked under you and his arm. “Keep it going. Choo choo, you know?” 

He still isn’t moving. You frown up at him, another transportation joke at the ready, but his wide-eyed stare gives you pause. 

“What are you looking at?” You turn in his arms, hunger now officially twisting your stomach painfully. “Why’d you–,”

Your mouth falls open. 

Beyond two double doors at the end of the hall sits a silver cart, loaded with tiny chocolate desserts. 

You swallow the spit flooding your mouth. This time, his stomach grumbles as if to add to the argument. 

“Dieter, put me down.” He all but drops you. 

“Dieter, we can’t.” 

“Why?” 

“We shouldn’t.” 

“Why?”

“You’re only saying that because we’re both high as fuck right now and I’d eat bathroom soap if I could.” 

That seems to rattle him out of his starvation-induced stupor. He snorts and rolls his eyes. “Please, when have I ever not eaten something I wasn’t supposed to?” 

You blink up at him, now several inches shorter without your heels. “What? None of that made sense.” 

“Doesn’t matter. I’m going for it.” 

He strides past a very wide hallway branching back towards the lobby of the hotel, no doubt where several waiters intended to roll dessert out to the waiting reception. They’d be back at any second, but either due to being higher than a kite, his own innate lack of shame, or a combination of the two, Dieter is across the hallway in seconds and he snatches up two of the little chocolate spheres and shoves them both into his mouth at the same time.

“Holy shit, they’re cream puffs.” 

Your hunger nearly doubles you over. “C-cream puffs? Those are m-my–,”

“Your favorite. I know. Mhmm, fucking get over here.”

Trembling from a lack of food and nerves, you slink over to him, hand out-stretched. He’s already had four more by this point and he’s stacking more onto a single plate as your fingers squish around one right in front of you. You pinch and the gooey white cream eases out the side. You whimper. 

Dieter pauses, the tips of his fingers stained with dark chocolate and a dollop of cream on his cheek. 

“That’s the sound you make when I eat you out.” 

Rather than answer your boyfriend, you pop the cream puff into your mouth. Your eyes roll back in your head as the pastry melts on your tongue.

“Oh fuuuck.” 

Dieter watches with growing concern as you scarf down pastry after pastry. “Okay, now I’m a little offended you’re so turned on by this.” 

“Shut up, and let me eat.” 

In minutes, the silver cart is empty. Chocolate smeared across a dozen haphazardly-arranged plates, dots of cream littering the spaces between plates and on the edge of the cart, it looks like a fucking war zone of confectionery. 

You find yourself breathing heavy, your face and arms covered in the guts of those poor, poor baked goods. Dieter isn’t faring much better, his jacket stained and beard sticky. Your hunger is sated, for now, but you think of burgers and fries and a vanilla milkshake and immediately turn to Dieter, who stares back at you with wide eyes.

“I want six burgers–,”

“We should probably leave before we start a scandal–,”

You stare at each other, soldiers shell-shocked, rehabilitated werewolves in horror of their bloodshed. Bloodlust.

The second you get home you’re gonna give him the kind of blow job that stops his heart.

Half-way laughing, half-way crying, you take him by the collar, further smearing chocolate over the starched white linen and his neck, and kiss him soundly on his conspicuous mouth. He giggles through the kiss and cups your cheeks, his massive hands sticky and warm. 

“We should go . . .” he murmurs again before pressing his lips to you again. Cream puffs or no, it all tastes better when you lick it off the corner of his mouth. 

“We’re gonna have to walk past the lobby,” you bemoan into his patchy beard. Dieter smirks and without warning, squeezes your right tit, leaving a very clear chocolatey handprint on your dress. 

“Dieter!”

“C’mon, baby, I wanna devour you. And I want all of them to know it.”

That was the thing about Dieter Bravo, he never did anything small. He never allowed you to feel small. He was obsessive about taking pictures of you, posting them everywhere, never ashamed of you and desperate to have the world see you the way he did. 

Like you were delicious. 

“I’ll buy you six burgers if you let us walk out like this.”

“Deal.” 

Grinning like only a man with nothing to hide can, he takes you by the hand and leads you back towards the very fancy dinner you’ve both no doubt been kicked out of. 

Something rises up in you the longer you stare at his broad back. 

“Dieter, wait.”

He pauses, turns, and crumbles slightly beneath the weight and intensity of your kiss.

“I love you,” you say before he can slip his tongue into your mouth. 

Dieter Bravo does nothing small, is nothing small. Except when it’s just you and him and the words you just uttered hang in the air between you. A small, hesitant smile expands across his lips, as if he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing but it warms him nonetheless.

“I love you too.” 

He kisses your nose and you sigh into him. You could stay like this forever, wrapped up in him. But then you might just eat him alive.

“Burgers, Dieter.”

“Right, right. How many do you think we can buy at one time?” 

You both ignore the paparazzi and their cameras as you walk hand in hand, your heels in your other hand, with Dieter out the front door and into the limo, arguing about which fast food joint would let you get at least twenty burgers. 

Nothing about Dieter Bravo is small. Especially his appetite. 

[merry-the-cookie]

there was a lot of stuff about the lighting in the first version that bugged me so i fixed it

im leaving the other one up since it was an ask reply but i wanted to post this one since i prefer it! heres the png

[crossovereddie]

Thoughts on 11x12 Series Finale

Okay I’m wine drunk and teary still so this might not make any sense but does it ever really make sense?

Kev is so dumb lmao

He’s that we’re the millers meme

Please someone get franny and Liam out of there

EMT Ian

How are they all still shocked by the shit Mickey says

Fuck this new girl I want Sandy

Carl is me needing coffee

This girl is so unnecessary this is the dumbest thing why would they even write her in

GET YOUR KID DEBBIE

pat pat

Mickey you’re not subtle

Good thing your husband is a himbo

He’s so sweet :((((((

Debbie and lip are annoying. Throw Tami in there too

MICKEY

Let my baby take the potato masher he needs it

Liam 😂

I actually really like the Mickey Debbie dynamic

He’s used to having a little sister to piss off :((((

Lip go back to college challenge

Not me triggered by this pregnancy lmaoooo

Kate’s bump :(

GOOD MEMORIES STAINED INTO THIS ONE

The 21st :((((((((((((

The glare lmao

WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS GIRL AROUND YOUR CHILD

Okay since Debbie is a fictional character am I allowed to mom shame her or are y’all gonna come for me

Who tf does that

Save franny

Just looking at those drinks Kev is making is making my stomach churn oh god 🤢

You can’t just call it a toilet?

Oh god don’t pick up a used mask 😩

RIP patsys

Oh my god now I’m thinking of CG

This job is actually perfect for dumbass Carl 😂😂

That’s so LA I fucking hate that they couldn’t film in Chicago 😭😭😭

I hope brad has a good life

Mickey makes his decisions based on blowjob capability

HUSBAND

GET MY ASS IN THAT POSITION YOU LIKE

Fuck this lady

FIGHT HER IAN

Mickey’s face lmao

HIS LITTLE CLAP GIVE YOUR HUSBAND SOME PIZZA IAN

He’s baby

SAVE FRANNY

DEBBIE IS THE WORST

Y’all I would be just as angry as Kev HOW DARE YOU PUT THEM IN OTHER JERSEYS THAN YOUR TEAMS

BURN THEM KEV

THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH GEOGRAPHY

IM WITH KEV ON THIS ONE

Wtf kinda tip is that

Carl looking out

This is pissing me tf off

Lip you’re so fucking smart please do something with it my gosh

This fucking asshole HE JUST MAKE YOU LOTS OF MONEY WTF

V just adopt Liam please

They’re gonna cook in their new apartment :((((

MICKEY IN LEATHER KINKY MF

CRIB

GIVE THEM A BABY

This was too much

HIS FACE IS TOO MUCH

I literally sobbed out “you’d be the best dad!!” And J just sighed and hugged me 😭😭😭😭

He’s over my shit but he cares I guess lmao

His fault for buying the wine

YOU WOULD NEVER BABY

YOU BOTH ARE GONNA BE THE BEST DADS

YOURE GONNA BE A GREAT DAD

This is the best comfort hug GIVE US MORE ANGLES COWARDS

Oh no the flashbacks are too much

Wait he has covid?

I didn’t catch that first time

I love a good pretend to forget an anniversary and surprise spouse

IANS LITTLE ONE YEAR AGO TODAY

he was so upset

I LOVE THIS MAN

ME TOO

MICKEYS SMILE

He’s so proud of himself

LAST EVER THUMB CARESS 😭😭😭😭😭

Is the band playing at last 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Omfg Kermit and tommy lmao

Why am I in love with this nurse

MICKEY DANCING I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

We all know Ian had zero doubts

OH MY GOD GIVE THIS MAN A BABY ITS WHAT HE WANTS

To raise a baby with his baby

This brothers scene made me 🥺🥺🥺

Now I miss my brother 🥺🥺🥺

This would’ve been a perfect I should probably go dance with my husband

this scene :(

THEYRE BEING SILLY HUSBANDS TOGETHER

Liam :(

I wanna watch them be husbands forever

Ian always has to hold

So much singing this season

Goodbye sweet nurse you’ll always have my heart

The letter omfg

MICKEY AND CARL

MICKEY AND LIAM

We just needed Mickey and lip and it would’ve been the holy trinity

I don’t know how I feel about frank floating

Also they should’ve warned me when the last ever Mickey shot was

Of course that happened lmao

Overall? I feel good about the way it ended. I’m not sad. Or it just hasn’t hit me. Oh god I miss Mickey already oh god oh god oh god

[angel-macabre]

why the fuck is Jennifer Anniston doing an insomnia pill commercial it's common celebrity knowledge that she spends literally all her free time sleeping because she's super paranoid about her looks and thinks that sleeping 11 hours minimum each night will keep her looking young forever. im calling it now she'll either overdose on sleeping meds or she'll kermit at the first irreversible sign of age.

[moonlightkitkat]

Felix Reactions

Did Gabriel paint Emilies nails?? They’re so pink

Also... why does he want the whole family together again? It’s obvious he doesn’t really like his son(considering last episode)

Aww Natalie’s smile and wave for Adrien

Yeesss Natalie try to help Adrien and stuff

AWW NOO THE KITTY SONG AGAIN

Wow... Gabriel sitting down on the ground with his son? I’m surprised! Is he actually gonna tell Adrien the truth though???

AWWW SUPPORTIVE SON

AW HE LOVES NATALIE

Oh god... Gabriel you jerk. Your son gives you his blessing, just wanting you to be happy, and you just scold him and stomp off! Like jeez

Aww poor Adrien..

Aww Luka’s little smile as he watches Marinette pace worriedly

Nino is wholesome with his little “Hey my dude!”

wow he’s crying??? Poor baby...

I’m sorry... Amelie? Emilie and Amelie. That’s so dumb

AHHH HE LOOKS SO DUMB 😂

Grande de vanille? That’s such a cool name oh my god

“We Kwami live forever!”

Wow Tikkis so fed up with her and her drama lol

Her grumpy little “promise!” Is so adorable

okay so Felix is good at sports.. *writes down notes for Restart and Not Alone Anymore*

He didn’t go to his dads funeral? Oh that’s harsh.. of course it’s Gabriel’s fault.

Wow it happened in th span of the year?

Plagg‘s furious little reaction to the cheese. Also wow he’s not pointing out that he stole the phone

Awww Plagg’s little apology, he felt so bad

Why do they both hide in the shower fully clothes? He could just... not be in the shower

“Of course he has a crush on a superhero” that’s a mood

Oh my god Nino’s video

“Bros are there blah blah blah,” woooww

“Chloe, just a annoying as usual,” THAT WAS A REALLY SWEET MESSAGE GIVE CHLOE A BREAK

Like seriously pause for a sec. Chloe didn’t have her mom in her life, her mom didn’t even remember her NAME. But she got her back, and her mom is trying and now they’re closer, and she knows exactly how Adrien feels about wanting his mom back. She looks so guilty when she says that she got her mom back, and her voice got so soft when she says he can count on her, and honestly I love Chloe so much for stuff like this

AHHH IM CRINGING

NO THE VIDEO JS DELETED

NOOOOOOOOOO

WHY DOES HE HAVE MATCHING CLOTHES

also wow.. Luka really didn’t send a message ad that’s so funny to me. Like he was watching the whole time, but nothing. Also??? Kim is there??? Was he always there???

Marinette is so cute omg

OH MY GOD HIS FOND SMILE AS SHE JUST BARGES INTO HIS ROOM AND STARTS RAMBLING ABOUT HER CRUSH

THATS SO CUTE AND IM SQUEALING AHHH LUKA

“I’ll be really happy for you and Adrien if it works out” HAVE I MENTIONED THAT I LOVE LUKA??? Also... maybe I’ll add Luka to the next chapter. Some Luka might help me get back on track

“And if it doesn’t.. I’ll be here for you” THE GREATEST MAN ON EARTH

HES SO SWEET

Like it’s not even a “there’s always me,” it’s “I’ll be here for you.” Whether as a friend, a shoulder to cry on, or maybe as a partner, he’ll always be there for her, no strings attached, and I love him for that

Oh my god Chloe’s amusement brings me joy to no end.

OH NOOOOO

Luka’s little 😬face as Marinette runs off totally means that he’s rethinking whether or not they would be good as a pair

“Felix.” Wow can’t fool the evil butterfly man

But also I’m glad because it means Adrien won’t get anything bad from that

NATALIE YOU SNAKE

“Hey so I know you’re feeling sad because today’s the day your wife went into a magic induced coma, so here’s some hurt and angry teenagers for you to manipulate and terrorize with to cheer up!” “Natalie you know me so well,” *proceeds to Nyoom to the butterfly lair*

I totally thought he said fat souls and I was so confused

Wait, he can make multiple akumas at once?

WHY ARE YOU SENDING THEM AFTER YOUR SON HES SO SAD AND HURT RIGHT NOW NOOO

I love how all of the boys just kind of step back

Oh please tell me that Luka sees her transform

KIM CANT SING IM CRYING

Okay at least he’s making sure that Adrien doesn’t get hurt

FELIX STANDING THERE LIKE THAT KERMIT MEME IM CRYING

ADRIEN WHAT THE-awww he’s trying to protect his cousin even though he set him up

NATALIE REALLY THREW HIM

OMG NATALIES FOT THE MOVES

GO NARALIE

JULEKA KICKED ROSE THATS SO FUNNY

Aww Alya’s little “but...”

Was that.. is it just me or was that interaction sexual?

HOW DID HE DODGE ALL OF THOSE

WHAT THE HECK

*chants* Chat noir chat noir chat noir

Ha Felix got kidnapped

WHAT THE HECK FELIX

oh th music got all creepy like

LADYBUG TEACHING CONSENT YOU GO GIRL

THAT YELL OH MY GOD

SHE REALLY PUNCHED HIM YES

Was Chat... just watching Ladybug get sexually harassed? He wasn’t landing.. on my god

*boos* Chat noir.. Chat noir.. chat noir..

Oh wow, Felix’s little shameful look to the side.. this boy is lonely... *writes that down*

Okay Reflekta’s voice... I love.. so much.

IM SORRY FELIX HAS A IDEA THING LIKE LADYBUG???

quick on his feet.. athletic.. gymnast... not afraid to go against a supervillain.. *writes down frantically*

“What makes you think I want it to be over” WOW

“Were punished” *thinks back to the naughty boy an girl part*

HA PUNK

Wow though Felix was really gonna work with Hawkmoth

“Favorite cousin” THERES MORE???

Awww genuine hug

“Felix is evil and irredeemable” LIES ASTRUC

HE STOLE THE RING HE STOLE THE RING

Adrien... there’s a recently deleted tab you know..

KIM WHY IS YOUR OHONE LYING ABOVE A CRACK ON A BRIDGE THATS DANGEROUS AND MAKES ME NERVOUS

also wow Marinette.. but also mood

Wow he really didn’t realize that the ring was gone

Aww... he just wanted to make his mom happy

Felix is a mamas boy *jots it down*

I hope we get to see Felix again soon

HE STOLE THE RING FROM HIS COMATOSE WIFE

Okay so closing thoughts.. I really liked Felix. Like the whole episode. I loved Amelie, I loved how much of a Brat Felix was. I also loved how we really got to see his mindset through all of this though. He lost his dad, and he’s rebelling in his grief, all while trying to make his mother happy. He’s like a “What if Adrien was mean and was willing to go down the dark side” AU, and I really liked it! Adrien’s VA did a really good job with voicing him. Even when they’re pretending to be each other, Adrien’s voice is still higher when pretending to be Felix, and Felix sound like he kind of just has a stuffy nose when he pretends to be Adrien.

I liked seeing Marinette dare to even record herself confessing to Adrien, and I loved Tikki finally pushing her to do what she was afraid to do, even if the day really wasn’t the right day to confess and Marinette was right on that one. I loved the Lukanette moment we got, it was so cute and wholesome and just!!! Like he really moved to sit right next to her and comfort her and reassure her that she isn’t alone.

I loved seeing Ladybug punch Felix. Seeing her punch “Adrien” was so therapeutic. But also, like, Marinette knows that no one can push her boundaries. She may have a hard time saying no, but she isn’t afraid to say it when she isn’t comfortable. Chat though.. he really just stood there and watched. He didn’t just get there, he probably got there just a few seconds before she punched Felix. When she said no and nearly got kissed against her wishes. Like, I know that Ladybug can handle herself, but that doesn’t mean to just stand back and watch her! Honestly though, he’s watching his look alike try and kiss her, he probably was wishing it was actually him.

I’m really curious about the tale of the twin rings, and why it’s so important to Felix. I love how he just stole it from Gabriel though lol

All in all, I really did love this episode, and I wouldn’t mind watching it again ^^