#im just tired of people who act like something theyre clearly not

[coldresolve]

rambling

i think there's a dunning kruger effect sorta thing happening with a lot of people in circles like the one ive cultivated here, but specifically relating to the characteristic of "being fucked up" as opposed to competence

it sucks because, yknow, i really feel at home with other fucked up people. there's a mutual understanding there that neither of us are holy, so you don't judge me, and i don't judge you. there are no taboos, there is no moral indignation, you don't have to censor your thoughts, there's a solid understanding of the difference between thought and action, neither of you are your past, etc. it's genuinely freeing not having to deal with the usual social rules that get you shunned for being a weirdo lol

and then hardcore george walks in and signals desperately with every fiber of his person that he, too, is fucked up. so you sort of take him at his word, because you have no reason not to - but oh snap, you're being lured into a false sense of security. because the moment you say anything remotely out of the ordinary, or behave in a way that's slightly eccentric, hardcore george starts blurting the same moral indignation you'd expect from a nun, and immediately decides you're too degenerate and probably dangerous. so you ask him in what way he is fucked up, and he says he eats cereal with water instead of milk. and while that is atypical, it's not exactly the sort of lifestyle that recontextualizes your view of what counts as "extreme" or "out there" - he just dipped his toes lightly into something unusual, and now thinks he's a maverick. this is hyperbole, but i hope you get what i mean. it's dunning kruger for being fucked up, right

a lot of people who market themselves as hardcore and fucked up are, to put it very bluntly, very average people, who despite their constant show of apathy will treat outcasts with the same disgust shown by everybody else - while somehow having convinced themselves, in their tiny little noodle brains, that they themselves are the outcasts. and i know it's not a competition, it's not a race to be the most fucked up or whatever, that's not the point. i'm just being pissy about how "being fucked up" has somehow been aesthetisized to the point where two thirds of the people you think are gonna be cool about stuff thats a bit out there, are not actually cool about it whatsoever

[sonknuxadow]

that one youtube video about the sonic bible has literally done irreparable damage to the way the average internet user thinks about sonic. they all think the sonic bible is actually canon to the sonic lore when it isnt and every time a sonic post gets a bunch of notes outside of sonic fandom circles people who dont know what theyre talking about bring it up and it drives me insane

[sammyloomis]

actually im not done about this

this is literally verbatim what tyreen says at the pyre of stars and i want you to read it and tell me this is a) someone who hated their brother and only saw him as a means to an end or b) someone who is making calm rational non-self destructive descisions after the death of said brother

“When Troy and I were kids, we’d stare up at the night sky and dream of becoming stars. The brightest in the galaxy, Troy always said. So we left this place behind. Went to Pandora to become Vault Hunters ourselves. We’d open the Vault of Vaults and become the biggest stars in the galaxy. They seem so small now, our dreams. Not befitting a god. Now I’m gonna devour every last star in the universe, one by one. Until nothing shines but me.”

also, through the whole next cutscene, tyreen keeps saying stuff like “you kept us here” and *the universe should have been ours” like shes STILL including troy even though hes dead

from the point troy dies right until the end of the game, every time tyreen calls to taunt you she not only sounds more distant and tired, but actively malicious too. previously, when troy was there and adding to it, it felt almost fun and goofy, but after that shes very clearly lost whatever fun she got out of this, now shes simply out for blood and is going to take everyone down with her

actually, the more i think about it, the more i feel like she starts acting more like troy after he gets mayas powers

like, after he kills her and gains something that puts him on par with his sister, not only is he more outgoing and making rash descisions, but he even outright tells you that tyreen thinks this is all just a game but he wants to kill you right there and then so the raiders arent meddling as much

tyreen thinks the vault hunters attacking them is a fun thing to raise viewer count, troy thinks they should eliminate the threat while they still can, troy dies, and suddenly tyreen isnt joking anymore

but anyway, tldr, the calypsos care abt each other v much albeit in weird and unhealthy ways, theyre far more interesting than jack ever was, and people who woobify troy while condemning tyreen for the exact same thing should take a good hard look at that mentality

and to anyone who would be like “uh well if you listen to this echo log you can clearly tell tyreens manipulating troy” blah blah blah, actions speak louder than words and i hope ive explained why tyreens actions (and also words) after troys death show that she cared about him very much

[gikairan]

If you wanna know my thoughts on the game (There will be some spoilers)

Its good! I had a lot of fun! At no point did i go "wow im not having fun"!!!

The combat didnt overstay its welcome, and stayed a good difficulty all the way through. The major bosses managed to all feel pretty different and were engaging to play

And like.... ive seen hints of what people are Discoursing about and i just dont care...

One is "you cant be evil!" And like, have you been able to be evil since DAO? Have you?? Because you kinda havent.

"Writing is bad" Idk man it seemed fine to me. Look, maybe i just like wallowing in trash or something, idk. But nothing made me cringe, nothing made me wish for it to end. Like, the worst i feel in terms of the games writing is that there was one faction, and associated companion, i could not care less about. So that content was a slog. But ill be honest, the entire concept of that faction was always going to be a hard sell to me.

"Companions arent mean to each other!" Idk man, half the fandom hates the (mostly female) characters that are mean to their male favs so like... having everyone get along was probably for the better. Also did you miss the part where Solas commends you for building a team based on trust and friendship? It is literally a power of friendship story!

Like ill give that theres not a lot of opportunity for roleplaying. Rook DOES feel like a very set personality that you can customise exactly what they say, but it all kinda ends up the same vibe But... have many Bioware games are different? Having a voice acted PC limits how many dialogue options you can have, because otherwise the amount of voice lines needed just grows and grows and grows. Like it doesnt feel wrong to me, because thats sort of what i expected from a modern Bioware game? And maybe others should lower their expectations too? this is clearly the course the studio is on, and if you dont like it... you dont have to play their games? Spend more time playing Larian games, or... Owlcat i think theyre called? The ones who made the Pathfinder games, and Warhammer Rogue Trader. Give them your money, and prove theres a demand for that kind of stuff. Instead of expecting a studio owned by a publisher a little hostile to single player story based games to give you that kind of RPG.

Like, i had a good time. I dont really care what other people didnt like about it. There wasnt any big major things that bothered me..... Seriously my biggest complaint is "I dont like how they handled Taash being an immigrant, and their Choice being a binary decision between Qunari culture and Rivain culture. Especially combining with their sub-plot of exploring their gender identity as... non-binary. It feels contradictory!"

Everything else is fine! Its exactly the kind of game i enjoy!!

I also did feel like Bioware heard some of the most common complaints about Inquisition and basically did the opposite. WAY more focus on companions, reduction of busywork quests, more focused maps, making a big decision that actually has major consequences for the rest of the game.... its all a pretty big improvement. I appreciate it a LOT, because playing inquisition again was a struggle. This is way more FUN to play, and will be easier for me to replay in the future

IDK man, i just wish people would stop complaining every time a new dragon age game comes out and it isnt exactly what they want 🙃 I definitely have a lot less complaints about this game than Inquisition, and boy did i get tired of the discourse around Inquisitions release!!

[fuckityshitbang]

hi have a clumsy thought essay from the (irl) local "very cool" socially popular autist

i think what this question really is internalized more accurately to the autistic person is: "what am i like SOCIALLY when i don't mask?" especially since we for the MOST part are only not masking when...we're...alone. lol.

if you gradually analyze your mask and its nuanced triggers and expressions you can actually willfully NOT mask when interacting, which because of the reasons WHY we mask is equally as unbearable as masking is lol. especially because it's less familiar.

i say this however to demonstrate that if this is something you feel you can't answer, and it genuinely gives you panic from disconnect/existential uncertainty, it can be a useful skill to learn and exercise.

i didnt exactly have the same reaction (eg crisis) as this when i was first struck with the "DAMN, that's a good question." my reaction was like "well, i KNOW what my real personality is like--it does show through my masks. it's PART of me, if filtered and tweaked (and a lot NOT me)." it made me realize i just don't know myself in the context of other people without masking... for the most part. i then thought about how i act with my other friends who are ND... even there, i still mask, because their autism/ADHD sometimes expresses differently, but it's inherently a lot more genuine and a lot less altered/fictional.

thinking of it this way ("well, i act like this with Humans In The Wild Who I Assume Are Allistic And Typically Are, and i act like this with my Fellow Au/DHD Folk") kind of gave me an idea of what traits i specifically stifle more clearly, besides the obvious like stimming or fighting for my life to not infodump etc.

so with at least THAT much data, i began to sometimes...just...not mask, or try to. i experimented a little. i noticed when i was really tired or burnt out (i am unfortunately suffering from chronic autistic burnout but can still mask most days comfortably/instinctively/unconsciously/whatever), those strains were not only more apparent singularly, but also WAY HEAVIER. so i just don't.

people are weirded out by it for sure - they have the person they "know," then the person when i am tired. i don't really make eyecontact, though my affectation is essentially the same; i do other things to show im listening like furrow a brow and nod or hold my chin, so i guess that's still some iota of masking oops lol. i still dont infodump bc when im that worn out i can only rly get stimulation and endorphins from likeminded ppl (not as in autistic, but similar deep interest/passion that may get REAL eyecontact here and there), but i use different language/vernacular since i typically try to sound less "snobby" and more "cool" and "relatable." i kind of ignore small talk or engage it minimally, but will be responsive to things that are generally interesting. i twirl my hair and twist my ankle around while i talk, staring nowhere. maybe i'll draw while we're talking, or i'll do things like organize my items, line up the drinks on the table so theyre on the same "grid" to diminish visual stress, etc etc etc. i do still try to not pick my lips.

so, still not a PERFECT picture to answer that question, but pretty dang close. being aware of when you recede into reflexive masking does make it more exhausting though, as a warning. ime it doesn't stop being reflexive, but i'll admit it was a little easier on me to not really be aware lol. emphasis on "a little," though - i'd still recommend doing it to any who struggle with this existential social anxiety!

this repels/confuses some ppl bc idk they either find it weird or assume im in a bad mood, but a lot of my friends who had long before been friends with that first version of myself (if i was too burnt out to mask before, i just wouldnt see people) act no different and will approach me/hang out w me anyway! it's nice. and it doesn't offend me when people don't react that way, since i was advertising a different product and that product was what they were into. the ppl who approach and hang anyway just happen to be a fan of the product and also its creator.

Trying to explain how I mask to others:

Me: so essentially I copy your behaviour and base my personality on how you act when I’m with you and when I’m with other people I then do the same to them. How act changes depending on who I’m around.

Them: oh so what’s your real personality like?

Me: *has an exsistential crisis*

Rinse, wash, repeat

[kwonhoshi0]

𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐤𝐢 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬/𝐨 | h.c

navigation | requests : open | 25th march 2021

pairing : denki x gn!reader

genre : angst to fluff

themes : established relationship

request : angst to fluff hcs idea! denki hearing his S/O talk about their day and Denki being a little mad about something else that day he explodes his anger to her and he says "will you shut the fuck up? damn im so fucking tired of you". His S/O avoid him the following week even at work. Denki, feeling alone he asked his S/O what he did wrong. And then his S/O, almost crying, tells him what he did. He felt so guilty and bad and was finfing the way how to make it up to the. Thanks :)

note : i’m changing it slightly so they’re still in UA :p

[ denki ]

> you literally don’t argue

> in your 2 years of being together you’ve argued probably only twice and that was about safety it wasn’t out of spite it was out of concern

> obviously no one likes fighting but you both despise not being able to talk to each other as normal

> you’re the couple who do tiktok dances and play stupid pranks on eachother even if it takes hours of denki bribing you

> you have date nights every other day

> so when the bakusquad don’t see you together for a week they get a little concerned

-> scenario

> today had been a particularly tiring day training, everyone was tired but denki seemed to be going hard on himself

> he was mad at himself for not being able to withstand a certain amount of electricity before short circuiting

> since you were also busy training you couldn’t reassure him or make him feel better

> as soon as training ended denki headed to his dorm room laying face in his pillow

> you had arrived a little after him with mina and since he wasn’t playing video games downstairs you figured he’d probably be showering or something

> “hey denks” he just made a grunting noise as you sat on the bed

> “it was kinda fun seeing how far everyone could go with their quirks, oh and at one point i went against mina and her new moves are so cool, i wish i could’ve used that move you helped me make but there weren’t many chances to use it”

> you looked back down at the blonde his head was still in his pillow, you nudged him a little “how was your day love” you laughed a little at hid position

> “oh i think i saw you fighting against kiri you were doing so-”

> “do you ever shut the fuck up, i’m so damn tired of you y/n” he turned over slightly staring at his ceiling

> “what-” you were confused he’d never snapped like that

> “god you’re so annoying” he interjected you scoffed not wanting him to see you upset

> “right, you won’t be saying the same thing when you’re begging for my attention”

> he hadn’t really caught your words, he didn’t even realise what he had said

> when you got back to your room you overthought it a lot how long has he thought that about me, did we just break up

> you knew you were overthinking but that didn’t stop you from crying about it fuck has he really thought that shit about me from the beginning, that he’s tired of me, that i’m annoying

> you avoided him like the plague that night, you didn’t go downstairs much and usually you kept your door unlocked so he can sneak in but you locked it

> it hurt a lot knowing he thought that about you

> you went downstairs to grab a drink kirishima bakugou and sero were sat playing video games

> “hey y/n are you gonna play tonight?” you shook your head and walking over to him to see what theyre playing

> “you okay? you look tired” well i am tiring apparently

> “yeah sorry, just tired” you lied

> “oh in that case you should rest!” you smiled at the redhead nodding at his words

> “oh and y/n kaminari seemed worked up when we sparred earlier is he okay” you winced a little before pretending to have not heard them

> you opened the door of your room and struggled holding your water phone and books

> “hi sunshine” a sleepy voice that usually made your heart race except it made your heart rate speed up for a different reason

> you quickly closed the door and locked it sighing

> “y/n? what happened? is this one of your pranks you’re not getting me back by locking me out”

> the next day you woke up slightly earlier than usual, denki usually woke up late anyway so you took your time

> you walked to your class with bakugou and kirishima and sat in your usual seat

> when denki arrived he was a little confused since you hadn’t stumbled into his room at 6:30am and cuddled him until your alarm went off

> you didn’t have breakfast with him or walk to class with him

> you hadn’t even looked at him this morning and it scared him

> he wanted to talk to you but aizawa walked in making everyone sit in their seats

> for sparring partners you paired with bakugou since your quirks are pretty compatible

> during your sparring session you had pinned his arm behind his back which meant he fell on you since you were both so unbalanced, he had his arms on the ground caging you beneath him

> the electric type stared in jealousy wait is this why they’re acting weird? because they want to leave me for him

> fucking dumbass no just don’t hurt my feelings🌝

> you sat with the dekusquad since you’re friends with all of them

> it wasn’t too weird to others since you and the deku squad are pretty good friends

> you successfully ignored him for another school day but there was still the dorms

> “oi dumbass we’re doing movie night you comin” you smiled at the blondes softness towards his friends “sorry i’ve got uh homework”

> “uh homework?” you glared at him “you know what i mean”

> he rolled his eyes before going back to your friends

> denki watched from afar he wanted to make you smile, he wanted to do that so why weren’t you letting him

> “y/n” you froze a little hearing his voice so pleading but you shook it off and went to your room

> the next couple days were hard you didn’t know where you stood with the boy and you were honestly afraid to find out

> denki had tried to talk to you but everytime he did have the chance he chickened out afraid you’d say you don’t want him anymore and that terrified him so much he couldn’t think about it without tearing up

> it had been about a week since what happened and everyone noticed the atmosphere

> you both looked miserable and you wouldn’t be caught in the same room together

> “oi y/n open up, Now dumbass” you groaned letting the blonde in

> “what the fuck is going on with you and dunce face?!” you sighed

> “i’m not exactly sure” that wasnt a lie, you don’t really know where you stand with him

> “explain”

> “i went to his dorm as normal and he told me i was tiring and annoying and asked if i ever shut up.. it may not seem like much since you say that all the time but it’s the way he said it, he said it with so much hate, just didn’t feel great i guess”

> “just suck it up and talk to him, you don’t know what he’s thinking so find out”

> “and what if he wants to leave me”

> “then fuckin let him if things are meant to work out they will, besides i’m not doing this out of kindness, you’re uh not at your strongest during training so”

> you smiled a little hearing the blondes excuses for caring about his friends

> just as you let bakugou out denki watched and looked at the ground feeling tears in his eyes

> your eyes widened a little as he pushed open the door letting himself in

> “i don’t know what i did but you could’ve broken up with me before dating him you know!”

> you furrowed your eyebrows holding back tears

> “is that some sort of fucking joke denki?, you can’t tell me i’m tiring and annoying asking me if i ever shut up and then accuse me of cheating when that was very clearly your way of telling me to fuck off”

> just as he was about to ask what you meant he remembered what had happened that day, he was so tired and caught up in his own anger that he had forgotten

> “what the fuck, y/n i’m sorry i’m so sorry i didn’t mean to say any of that.. i shouldn’t have accused you of anything or taken it out on you” he let a tear slip out staring at the ground

> you thought about it and scolded yourself for overthinking so much

> “can we be okay y/n.. i love you even if i don’t deserve to”

> you sniffled a little at his words before smiling “do that again and i’ll fucking gut you”

> he jumped towards you with a grin on his face engulfing you in a hug

> “i missed this, i missed you so much baby”

> you nodded into his neck “me too”

A/N : pain only pain, i barely see any denki angst to fluffs so i’m here feeding my people😫

taglist : @todoroki-shoto-is-life @blazedbakugou @luluwiie @blue-gold-demigod-clouds @gazelle-des-pres @gaysimpsstuff

[golbrocklovely]

First of all i never said they were falling off the deep end or made them out to be crazy party animals. I know they partied and a lot of what is on your list is stuff theyve said not filmed or posted so who even knows if its true, theyve been proven to lie and exaggerate before. To keep things short, the stuff they post now looks forced. I agree with everyone that they put on a show now. Before they partied and had actual fun and the stuff they shot and posted was actually extreme and NATURAL. There is nothing wrong with being tame now the annoyance now is that they make it seem like theyre not especially Sam with his constant “im having the best time” even though he only acts like that when he shoots something or he spots the camera on him. Its never a natural reaction is what i mean.Everything is grand and a show.

Its obvious where you stand with the old friend group and i don’t really care because they werent who i followed. What i meant by fake was that that group no matter how much they tried to get fame out of SnC, they couldn’t i mean 3 of the girls work regular jobs. The new friend group YOU may not know enough of them but i know their whole presence consists of posting 24/7, social climbing, and being glued to their phones, they have a rep. They are full blown influencers which as we know live in a fake bubble.People post stuff its normal but snc and kat are constantly seen filming anything and everything and all having their phones out at the same time even if its the smallest thing. Theyre 24/7 tourists even in L.A

Its ok though i didnt think my ask would affect you so much for you to create a list, nor do I understand why you bring up stuff from 2017 constantly when people talk about how they act now ✌🏻

the reason why i wrote out the list in the first place is not only bc of your ask, but bc i've gotten multiple asks before claiming that snc have gotten worse with their partying ways, which clearly as i've shown, isn't the case.

and bringing up their past is needed bc some of yall keep forgetting it and making it seem like they were perfect angels up until recently. so again, that's why i brought it up. and some of the stuff i wrote is from as recent as last year, so it's not that far in the past in the first place. and collectively most of it is on video minus a small handful of the stuff.

but back to your ask: i think in some way they've always put on a show a bit. maybe they think we want to see them having "the time of their lives" every time they go out partying. maybe they would rather look overly enthused while out and about rather than stone cold staring around a crowded club lol

and maybe it's not faked. maybe they just amp it up a bit more when a camera's on them. if they truly are having fun, but smile more when the camera's on them, i don't think it's them being fake. but if you see it that way, then that's fine.

also, like i stated before, i don't really know their newer friend group. personally, i don't really think snc are all that close to them in the first place to even say that's their new "friend group". they barely even hang out with them except for the occasional party. that being said, if that's really what those ppl are known for, snc clearly don't care or don't know. and if what you say is true, eventually snc will get tired of being around them and drop them.

but i still stand by the newer friend group being less fake, or less user-y, than their old one. even if some of the old ones had to get actual jobs, they still have fans bc of snc. or at least a lot of them do. most of their old friends are known more for being snc's friend than anything they've done on their own accord. that's why most of them moved onto knj's group, bc the collabs stopped with snc and they couldn't survive without someone else's fanbase to jump onto.

nonetheless, if snc want to film everything…. why is that an issue? it's not fake to film your surroundings or your experiences. i don't quite see what you're seeing, but that's fine. if i came across harshly in my previous reply, my apologies. not my attention at all :)

[armillary-spheres-lover]

Hey

Idk if you ever got the answer to your thing. But I’m a person who is queer but regularly uses the term lesbian to make things simpler. I can tell you why I hate the phrase monosexual- it feels transphobic to me- I am not attracted to men at all, but I am attracted to women, non-binary folks, gender queer folks, and agender folks. If I was with a partner and they transitioned to be a man I would still love them. That wouldn’t change. Sexuality is fluid and calling someone monosexual seems to erase that and really put people in boxes. Everyone has exceptions. And as someone who has identified as bisexual and pansexual in the past and find those not to suit me and fit right (especially since I am not sexually/romantically attracted to people physically/based on appearances- it’s more about personality and what I could do with a person)

I don’t mean this in an antagonistic way, I really hope it doesn’t come off that way(I’m bad expressing myself sorry).

(I’m sorry, I know you’re not trying to be rude. My answer, however, will sound rude and upset because you touched upon some stuff that needs a lot of unpacking to me lmao. Just know this anger is not necessarily directed at you but at biphobia in general.)

Why do bisexual people may need to use the term monosexual?

A. It is descriptive

I see what you mean but as you said you're queer and lesbian is a term to make things simpler, right?

So I wouldnt call you monosexual because you’re clearly not attracted to only one gender (but if you want to who I am to stop you?). Monosexual is someone who is almost exclusively dating/is attracted to people of one gender. There are plenty trans people that are straight or gay that would NOT date a partner if they realized they were a different gender. For real: kat blaque made a video (here it is if youre interested) on youtube about this - she’s trans and she wants to date men and wouldnt feel comfortable on continuing dating if a partner of hers realized they were actually a trans woman all along. She wants to date guys not girls and that's FINE it just means A. She actually recognizes the girl gender, obviously B. She's straight af and that's wonderful! It’s not a box if that’s how her experience is and she likes it that way!

Also how is being monosexual transphobic? Cant a girl just like guys exclusively (both cis and trans) or like girls exclusively (both cis and trans)? It's not even enbyphobic since you dont need to be attracted to a person to support their rights. (Gay men arent attracted to women but can be 100% feminists.) Being open to fuck somebody is not the same as supporting their rights: fetishization is a thing. Again, I refer to the video Kat Blaque made.

Sexuality IS fluid but to some people (like me and you) it is more than others. Some people don’t feel comfortable dating people that dont fall into the gender theyre usually attracted to and thats 100% okay.

B. It helps in talking about biphobia and panphobia in society

Biphobia and panphobia are for the large part based on the assumption that you cant be attracted to more than one gender (not even non-binary and so on) and that if you do you're weird/disgusting/mentally ill/a sexual predator. I can tell you 100% that's the narrative both straight and gay people can and may perpetuate since I struggle w this kind of shit every single time Im attracted to someone no matter their gender (YES, EVEN IF THEY'RE A GUY, BECAUSE THE OTHER DAY I WAS ATTRACTED TO A GIRL AND NOW I FEEL LIKE A FUCKING ANIMAL THAT CANT CONTROL ITSELF, even though it makes NO sense because if it was two girls or two boys the actual number of people my hormones activated to wouldnt change, but it would make my experience not subjected to biphobia!). I’m not saying gay people are the same as straight people. But I do feel alienated BOTH from heteronormative society AND from (subtly biphobic) gay spaces because of my bisexuality. I costantly feel like I’m outside both of those worlds and you know how humans are: I just need a term to encompass it all easily, to say “I don’t identify with any of this” (which is both straight and strictly gay spaces: ie, monosexual). To me is literally the same as saying non-bisexual/non-pansexual.

I dont mean to say lesbians or gays have it easier or are just like straight people. But we do have different experiences and I need terms to express that. It honestly doesnt matter to me if you identify as lesbian or queer (though I think you’re implying you’re more queer than anything). But I do need a term to talk about how society at large treats sexuality; ie, as a monosexual thing. Another concept that’s been thrown around is bi erasure. A strictly monosexual society is bound to view a girl dating a girl (or girl presenting) as if theyre both LESBIANS and erase a queer person the moment they’re in a m/f relationship, because people cant COMPUTE that it may not be the case and that the girl dating a cis straight dude isnt betraying her queerness.To think so is basic biphobia.

In some ways, I think it’s the same as when transgender people started using the term cisgender - which is applicable to both straight people and queer/gay people. They simply needed a term which meant “not-trans” as they were saying “I dont identify with this” (ie the cisgender experience). Does it imply that cisgender people, no matter if queer, have something in common? Yeah, yeah it does. Does it imply that queer people are just the same as straight people, or face no oppression? Of course not. Seeing people being offended upon being called monosexual feels like people being offended upon being called cis to me.

Also, saying that the terms bisexual people use are transphobic is almost implying that bisexuality is inherently transphobic? Or reeks to me of that kind of rhetoric. I use the terms I need to use, just like any other marginilized group does, and nobody outside of that group has any right of denying me that. It’s like I’m trying to create a safe space for myself and people like me and yall come around to judge us YET AGAIN. And I'm just tired of hearing this bullshit. I could accept this kind of criticism only if it came from a trans person themselves, I guess? But it’s not usually trans people who accuse us of being transphobic, in fact, many trans people identify as bisexual and use bisexual terminology lmfao.

“Hearts not parts” rhetoric

Finally, about personality being superior to physical appearance. That's amazing but I do want to note that, not you necessarily, but many people who are into the “hearts not parts” rhetoric are, how can I say this. Slut-shaming people? I’m not sure if you are doing this but I feel it needs to be said just to be sure. A lesbian trans woman can be just attracted to a girl for her physical appearance and just want to fuck her - and THAT'S OKAY. That's fine. I am a sexually attracted to people and that doesnt mean I have to form a deep bond first. Sex positivity is about accepting that people can feel like this and not shame them for this. "Hearts not parts” rhetoric has in the past infantilized, sanitized or outright shamed other queer experiences. It's fine if you feel that way but dont start acting like you're morally superior because of that. That's catholicism with extra steps. My bisexuality its not the symptom of some predatory and animalistic thing that should be purified into something more palatable and less sexual. That’s the same thing they used to say about gay people and now gay (biphobic) people are using this against us. That’s also the kind of thing trans women (especially if they’re sapphic) constantly hear every fucking day. Queer people have a good part of their discrimination rooted in the shaming of purely sexual desires. Forcing ourselves to be more palatable and less sexual is just respectability politics. I’m tired of it. (This is obviously different from being on the asexual spectrum: but you dont see ace people going around pretending they’re morally superior than everybody else, and many are actually very sex positive)   You would still love your partner if they were a different gender: that’s great, but that’s not how some (most) people feel, and they aren’t superficial because of this, just different from you.

Also, I think you’d really benefit from hearing a trans person say they don’t care if someone has genitalia preferences. Here it is. This obviously doesnt mean that every trans person will feel like she does, but it does mean that we can’t generalize trans experiences/preferences/what they feel transphobia is. Just like straight people dont get to say what’s homophobic or not, cis people dont get to say what’s transphobic or not. The definition of those terms relies entirely on the community that is targeted by these things.

I hope this wasnt excessively confusing but I wanted to make my point clear.

[letsfluxshitup]

I can’t believe I send anons to someone who calls wasabi and a little bit of water wasabi soup. Heartbroken rn /j /lh </3

Anyways! Royalty AU thoughts!

I promise I’m not an angst-centric person but like. Maybe someone— an enemy kingdom, maybe— catches onto the fact that Quackity is close to Techno, after they become friends, and they see an Opportunity. Because getting to Techno himself is tough bc he has so much fighting prowess and has so many eyes on him, being the eldest child of the Antarctic Empire. But Quackity? Someone who has no position of power and clearly has no experience in combat? He’s easy to get ahold of.

It could go in a lot of ways— maybe they’re trying to get information from Quackity himself, even tho it’s not like Big Q has any insider info, you know?? And that could be more light-hearted probably bc they’re just like ‘we just kidnapped a total dumbass’ and they don’t see a reason 2 keep him around or they let their guard down and Quackity is like ‘guess who just used their amazing powers of persuasion to escape a kidnapping’ and Techno is just. ‘What Are You Talking About.’ He’s so tired skdjdk

It could also be a threat kind of situation, though, because Quackity could defo be used as a weak point! And Techno isn’t going to act impulsively no matter what, bc he’s strategic and good at keeping a level-head, but the fact that these people stoop so low to bring someone of the commonwealth into political affairs like that makes him FURIOUS. It’s a strategy, yes, but morally it’s abt as wrong as one could get

If we’re feeling v self-indulgent (and when are we not) feral fighting Quackity could definitely be incorporated. Maybe the person assigned to keep an eye on him— just the one, because no one takes Quackity seriously, or thinks he can do anything— insults Techno off-handedly, speaking to someone over a com, calls him incompetent or a weak link for associating w/ someone so likely to get caught in the crossfire of royal business. Something personal that just hits a specific part of Big Q’s brain.

And Quackity has been compliant. He’s nervous beyond belief, sure, but he doesn’t want to get hurt, and Techno probably would just want him to chill out and wait.

But Techno is his FRIEND, and one of the most competent people he knows, and he just goes Feral <3 he’s all nails and teeth and he may not know how to hold a weapon but he doesn’t need one to get this point across. Whether or not he wins doesn’t matter as long as they understand that he is Angry and he sure is good at conveying that!

ANYWAYS. Tender Friendship Reunion is Important of course <3 I don’t take my ideas too seriously so u know it probably involves plenty of dumbassery on both their parts. Quackity thinks it’s very romantic of Techno to bust in and save him (/j) and Techno just wants a nap by the end of it

I just think abt Techno’s constant caution when it comes to getting close to ppl because of how they’re likely to get hurt by/betray him and it’s like. Haha time to capitalize on that :] but not too much bc I love seeing my favs chill out. Cottagecore Techno is now the only thing I will think abt

I’m terrible at writing coherent stories but seeing you write Quackity and Techno friendship makes me want to as well :,] ily Flux ur doing a great service to society /p Sorry abt my incoherency as always I am like a small toddler in the fact that my brain is most active when I should be unconscious

- Saturn 🪐

saturn as per usual your brain is huge and your ideas are amazing;;; you have to write your own fics or im gonna have to steal your ideas (/lh) the public needs to see them theyre very very good

ALSO YES;;;; quackity assigned weak by enemies, but rocking their shit while waiting for techno to show up and like sure yeah ok maybe it wasnt a Great idea to fight your captors but he has to defend his mans honor ok??

after hes rescued technos like “are you ok??” and quackitys like “haha yeah im fine” but hes a little more on edge, stands a little closer to techno, and techno realizes maybe he needs to offer quackity a bit more protection and he marries him bc whod fuck with the crown princes husband jokes on you its another marriage au--

no but i love the idea of techno offering quackity a bit more formal training, with ppl he Trusts and wont judge him or make fun of him and hes like “listen your feral energy, great amazing fantastic, now lets learn how to Channel that into doing some Real Damage” bc we’re self indulgent here and want to give quackity the means to protect himself and others. he gets fancee weapon that was made just for him and spends hours training with it, insisting techno teach him how to use it over and over bc he wants to use it Right and he doesnt want to break it or anything;;;;

i love your ideas so much im LKJDFLKSJDLSKJFJDF <3 <3 <3

[citialiin]

@zhrets​ sent a signal: 10, 38, 35

10. What’s the most challenging thing about writing replies for you? consistency. sometimes i feel like my writing iz bland, to the point and entirely boring and other times i feel like it’s excessively frilly.  when im tired i dont have da brainpower to think of nice poetics ... and when im in the mood to write my poeticz get out of hand.  i just feel like my ideas are usually pretty good, and i have the basis of what i want to write, but when i try 2 write it it sounds clunky or the transitions don’t work.  so less da ideas ... more the act of writing itself fux w mi

35. How many ships do you have? How would you describe them?  ziggy x kirei, obviously.  kirei grabs his head and twists until his neck rips in half like an overcooked piece of asparagus.  and while this clearly is the only ship i actually care about, maybe i have some other ones too    - ziggy x thomas (blossomingbeelzebug) ; the only two aliens in this neighborhood.  its a lot about being completely opposites in every regard but having the common thread of being 1. an alien hiding in plain site on earth 2. trying to understand one’s own individuality using humanity as a guide.  but other than that, even the way they’re designed is completely different; thomas is from a primitive planet and he’s more like some animal given freak sentience, no one is alike because they’re all made from ramshackle pieces sewn together. blood and guts and eating each other is the norm. ziggy is from a jetsons planet where everything is tidy and shiny and chrome and clean, his race is so genetically identical they’re starting to look like clones of each other and he has a complex about standing out.  theyre so beyond violence or even conflict in general that ziggy passes out if he sees blood.  thomas had the shittiest life on earth possible and he still tries to make the best of it.  he stole his “human” name from someone.  ziggy has a very nice life on earth and he’s a spoiled little cunt who thinks he deserves even more, his name was given to him by others.  thomas is shy and soft spoken and is afraid of attention, he thinks the universe is nothing more than random entropy, ziggy is loud and abrasive and is obsessed with getting people’s attention and being praised, he has this delusion that the universe has a destiny for him.  a whole lot. they are a fun scifi couple.      - ziggy x jonathan (gothsic) isnt really a ship, it’s more like ... unrequited feelings?  ziggy has this weird delusion that he’s jonathan’s muse and they’re both tortured artists and only jonathan can understand me waaah and whatever, jonathan’s the scruffy sarcastic goth moon to his dazzling perfect glittery sun.  jonathan is a puzzle and he is the key.  but jonathan is like ... oh man ... he’s going to make me employed and i really need money even though i hate this son of a bitch so much i hate him i hate him i hate him. j knows how to string z along and he probably also enjoys the attention of someone arguably famouser than he is (even if he’d rather die than reciprocate)      - ziggy x annie (also gothsic) is the flip side because annie is an NPC in jonathan’s story. she’s ... the girl jonathans’s stalking ... and she keeps really good tabs on jonathan because it’s kind of what she Does.  so when she found out that z was his new employer she felt like she had to at least tell z that jonathan was a Nutjob.  and clearly z isnt listening, but he thinks she’s ... c-cute ... and he keeps spending more time around her ... something mesmerizing about cute girl in glasses ... she’s just a welcome reprieve from the self-obsessed dickwads he spends most of his time with.  and annie usually kind of feels like she fades into the background or she’s not special and partners have historically treated her kind of poorly but ... z is actually bizarrely nice and respectful and chipper and he’s also ... really famous! so his attention is worth at least 2x more than the attention of a rando. there are a ton of other platonic ships but then this list would be too long and it’s already too long.

38. Do you have a wishlist? Can you share what’s on it? also already answered. but if i could wish for a thread for us, i just want kirei to either Kill him or just mess with his head and make him Sad.  it’s pretty easy to do.

[fart-gate]

SG1

Season 2 episode 5

"NEED"

Notes by me

- heard this episode was some good shit with lots of cough whump cough here we goooooo

- the goauld are collecting raw naquada. What do they need it for

- oh I love the pyramid ships their so cool

- *Daniel runs off recklessly*

"Wish he'd stop doing that!"

- its a cloaked lady!

- when she turns around and sees Daniel for the first time. 404 cloaked lady has stopped working

- Jack is so aggravated at Daniel for being too nice

- OKAY what the fuck dude. Get your disgusting hands off my Sam or I'll punch you in the throat

- I dont think theyre gonna listen to reason Daniel

- miners!

- Sam can sense worms??? She got worm radar ????

- "I get a weird feeling when im around tealc"

"hey who doesnt"

- ITS BREAK OUT TIME

- "lets go daniel!!"

"I'm coming!"

So innocent 😭

- shit is he dead again👀

- that must have hurt like a mother fucker yikes. Reminds me of the episode of BBC Merlin when the rockslide came down and separated him and arthur

- gurl not even a minute ago you were gonna commit suicide and now you want to take over after your dad? Make up yo damn mind

- a sarcophagus! Oh its Daniel

- NICE OUTFIT

- no glasses!Daniel

- she says she dressed him in new clothes while looking him up and down like lady what the fuck. You taking peeps at my boy? You wanna fuckin fight?

- "personal responsibility for you" basically shes saying she owns you now buddy you better run

- wait how many times has he used the sarc now? Its about 3 times I think

- "glass circles" lol

- damn theyre cracked. Makes me think how many times daniel has broken or lost his glasses and had to get new ones.

- whys she so goddamn CREEPY

- why is she so fascinated with trees my respect for her goes down with every second

- she wants to hit that and you know what? She's valid

- "youre my destiny"

"BLEHGR ......what???"

On all levels except physical, Daniel is barfing so hard right now

- also ???? Destiny??? Ok george mcfly

- this psycho: anyway so me and my mom....

daniel: can we back track for a sec I have some thoughts

- "surprisingly difficult to kill you isnt it?" You got no idea Jack smh

- "nice dress"

- sg1 as slaves is something tho 👀

- I'm laughing theyre throwing a feast for Daniel while the rest of them mine coal. Tough luck guys

- 700 years old YIKES

- "I dont think you understand what they mean to me" ❤💕❤💕❤💕❤☺❤☺❤❤❤❤☺☺☺💗💗💗

- daniel being treated like the princesses boy toy lol

- honey.......dont sleep in the sarc

- what possessed him to think that this is a good idea

- jack, tealc, and Sam update: still in the mine!

- DANIELS HAIR IS POOF

- hes LOST his marbles

- "and look!!! No glasses!!" Hes so excited

- hes getting obsessed with this thing

- 9 or 10 times in the sarc???

Jack: hes drunk as fuck

- hes definitely considering marrying her. Bro youre already married. Did you forget

- Temper!Daniel

- ok so hes totally brain washed!

- he felt out of place on earth :(. You know what? The Sarc is bringing out his deep down thoughts and feelings. Things he wouldnt ever tell anyone bc when hes in his right mind, his logic counter acts these thoughts. But his logic is gone so hes just voicing everything he normally wouldn't

- sams memories of jolinar telling her whats what with the sarc! 💪

- its taking his SOUL WHAT THE HELL

- lounging!Daniel "HI JACK!!"

- hes LOST IT FOLKS THATS IT. HES AN EMPTY VESSEL NO THOUGHTS

- kicking his little feet

- of course he wants to marry a woman he met 4 days ago

- "he cant live without me anymore" OH THIS GIRLS A BITCH. SHE DID THIS TO HIM ON PURPOSE. ALRIGHT LADY SQUARE UP SOMEONE HOLD MY BEER

- "we offer the friendship of our world"

".......well thanks"

Jack is having NONE of her shit and I wholeheartedly agree

- awkward kissing!!

- jittery!daniel

- sir that is no way to talk about your wife. So what if shes different when u get her back! So are you! People change! God not having a logic filter in your brain must be exhausting

- concerned!Sam

- ALRIGHT when you start knocking shit over on purpose its time to sit in the corner on time out

- hes having withdrawals. Didnt I already say this man has been thru Enough

- Jack literally jumps on him to hold him down. Did he crush daniels pelvis or what

- Sam is right they need to let him go thru it 😩

- how the hell did he pull fraiser all the way over him lmfao hes not that strong

- oh boy! Crazy!Daniel

- 🚨the archeologist is loose🚨

- "I know what its like" oh???? Jack has dealt with addiction????

- caretaker!jack

- this is heart breaking

- when he just hugs him. Just holds him. The acting from both of them is making me sob

- P3H826 is ready to be sg1s next mission!

- daniels okay!!!! He got thru it ✊😌

- P3R636 is the planet with the Sarc and princess dick face.

- "id like Daniel back on the team" 😤😤😤😤😤😤

- I dont care about you! Stupid bitch! Manipulative ass hat

- Daniel step away from the sarc

- clearly you have no idea what love is if you think its just keeping ppl hostage

- he literally tells her to stop using it and she IMMEDIATELY picks up a staff weapon and blows it to hell like it took zero effort to convince her

- welp! Cry all you want! Youre a dumb bitch and I hope i never see you again lol

- Let Daniel Rest 2k20

~

Whump under the cut

Daniel jackson whump: threatened, gunpoint, sore, nervous, crushed by rockslide, healed by sarc, addiction, brain washing, jittery, withdrawal, anger outbursts , passing out, hospital scene, red eyes, sweaty, pleading, restrained, losing his mind, crying, breaking down, caretaker Jack.

Jack Oniell whump: kicked, hit with staff, coughing, fight with daniel

Whole team whump: forced kneeling, dirty, tired, weak, forced to mine

No glasses!Daniel for 90% of episode

🎶listening to Happiness Is A Warm Gun from Across The Universe Soundtrack🎶 for daniels struggle with addiction

🎶listening to Gone by Bazzi🎶 for Daniel being so confident that he was fine

[chowtrolls]

Why wouldn’t Bru and Toresce speak again?

oh boy! Long post ahead! Also this is so jumbled i just wrote a 7 page paper so im not organizing this.

TL;DR: They got into a very heated argument where Bruuno was trying to complain about the shitty things happening to him (as one does w/ a quad mate), and Toresce made fun of him, so he blew up. There’s a lotta issues and shit, below there is mentions of abuse, alcohol, self harm, and suicide.

Like he expected it to happen but not to the extent in which it did. He expected a little sympathy. So:

Toresce got angry and was basically like “oh boo fucking hoo poor bruuno who has a mate and moirails and people who love him, everything sucks for the dude whose life is so perfect” (Important context: Toresce had a meltdown and Bruuno was there for him, helped him, and then this happened and Toresce didn’t so Bruuno felt EXTRA betrayed) and bruuno snapped because he was completely sober in that moment. When he’s sober he tends to get angry very easily which is why he drinks as much as he does. Its an adhd thing. But Bruuno snapped, like, was not thinking straight. Said some stuff he shouldnt have, sorta begged Toresce to kill him for a moment then called him a coward when he didn’t, then had to be literally thrown out because he would have tried something stupider than begging the man who hates him to kill him. And, At the moment in the storyline, Bruuno is AWOL ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Kinda glad I haven’t gotten any asks for him since his muse is still incredibly pissed off. He is very prone to saying something he doesn’t mean when he’s angry. We weren’t sure if we were going to keep this canon but I feel like its an important development in their relationship.

It is kind of important to also note that this is similar to what Bubble would do if Bruuno had any issues. Downplaying his suffering, saying he has nothing to be upset about, it’s what caused him to start bottling things up in the first place. So to tell someone he thought was better than Bubble only for them to act like Bubble was a huge shock, could even go so far as to say it was a trigger. That’s not even something he can explain to Toresce. He can’t tell Toresce “Hey dont do that, my ex did that” because Toresce will just make fun of him, dismiss him again, or so Bruuno believes. 

For a bit I thought Bruuno would apologize but the more time has passed, the more I know he’s not going to. He probably won’t speak to Toresce until either A. Chow makes him or B. Toresce apologizes first. Toresce just massively confuses him, he doesn’t get The guy. He tried to care, then that was too much. He stopped caring, then that wasn’t good either. He cared again when Toresce had issues, then that was okay??? Sorta?  Then He asks for care back, and that isn’t okay, so he doesn’t get it. He doesn’t know what happy medium Toresce wants. So I think he’s given up.

He’s tired. Not a lot of Positive things has happened for him recently. His muse has gotten progressively worse and worse, I know he’s getting depressed. I can tell he is giving up. I’ve been frantically trying to think of something good that can happen to him to lift his spirits. He’s heading in a bad direction. He has no coping skills anymore, he is convinced now that he can’t tell anyone what’s bothering him, he can’t be around Shiloh atm (for other reasons) so there’s extra guilt on top of all that. He’s having a really rough time.

I’m not about to do anything w/o consulting any of the muns who are active in his life (Like his moirails or his mate), but it IS in Bruuno’s nature to run away and hide so in the moment he is avoiding being seen, probably hasn’t gone to his hive, probably only talking to his moirails. He doesnt talk to Pictor a whole bunch so that isn’t too much of an issue for him, theyre really busy. He also doesn’t like to tell people about his issues, he absolutely hates anyone thinking he could have an issue. Not because he thinks he’s perfect but because that makes him less capable to care for other’s. He admitted to someone how he actually felt, someone who is his rival so it was kind of humiliating, and having that kind of response just killed a piece of him. When I think too much about him i can feel how ruffled his feathers are, how bad everything feels. But this is a new situation: He can’t run off and do what he usually did to cope (which was sleeping around as a form of self harm, drinking, or (recently) tussling with a kismesis), he can’t drink himself sick, he can’t complain to anyone he actually loves because Obviously they’ll use it against him or do the same thing because Clearly Bubble Toresce is right (/s).

He’s having a very rough time at the moment. I honestly have not felt him be so low in a very long time. He was doing really, really good for a while, and things started to crumble and now the wall has shattered and he’s left with a bunch of dust. He’s not doing a very good job of piecing himself back together and I am eagerly trying to find something that can help because I’m not sure he’s going to want to open up to anyone anymore.

Do I feel bad? Kinda. But I’ve been there, I know what he’s going through, I’ll get him out of it one way or another. He’ll be okay. If Toresce ever apologizes, they’ll be okay. He won’t be back to perfect but he’ll be better. I think he will -eventually- tell a moirail what happened. I think he will -eventually- get better help. MegaDad and Leo are trying (Because currently Bruuno is hiding in Leo’s hive.)

He’ll be okay.

[tanukyclaws]

Why does everything have to be an us vs them situation?

LONGish RANT:

Why do we need to twist things and insult others and all that so we win or whatever

Imo both interpretations (that Arryn wants Yang to be Blake's love interest/former love interest) are true, cause it simply wasnt worded that clearly. When you say "are you really that stupid? Is your reading comprehension that bad?" youre insulting people for simply not seeing your truth, when there are multiple truths here. Like, correct me if Im wrong as Im not a native english speaker, but "... And I also hope for Yang in the future" can be either "to be a love interest" or, based on the earlier enumeration with that "former suitors" thing it could also be "to be a former suitor". Yes its weird and if you think about it why would Arryn want Yang to be a former love interest? But you need to acknowledge that the phrasing is bad and, if you dont know much about Arryn or whatever, that the "former suitor" would gramatically make sense

So like, why insult people about it? Why tell people "haha your ship is dead!! Lol!!" and then insult them for their interpretation? Like from what Ive seen so far it doesnt look like bsers came to our posts and tags our whatever to tell us how our ship is dead as well or whatever, and Im pretty sure most acknowledged bb is romantic way before.

We know its romantic, everyone knows, there is really no battle to win or whatever, theres no reason to tell people how your ship is romantic and endgame and all that, cant we just simply ignore what we dont care about and let the people who care enjoy it? Cant we talk about bb while they talk about bs and how sun was a love interest and heck how it could (in their opinion) still have a sense? Nobody gets hurt cause of that, as long as we keep our tags and all it should be good?

Like dunno Im a bit disappointed that I saw so many people go for their throat? And for the short time I saw like 4-5 posts like those I havent seen any from them about us like that?

There was also a post about someone who was mad people hc Qrow as Ruby's dad and this whole policing people's views and opinions really gets on my nerves. As long as they dont insult you/the writers and crwby and the vas and anyone really, who the fuck cares??? LET PEOPLE ENJOY THINGS. Someone likes to think qrow is rubys dad? Sure, whatever. Someone gets happy that Sun is a former love interest? Great for them. Why can we enjoy things and they cant? Why our hcs (like trans nora) are real and good and we can talk all we want about them, but when they talk about how cool it would be for them for qrow to be ruby's dad there are posts about how they should stop and that theyre annoying and whatever?

Everyone likes the show for different reasons, and the thing we have in common is that it brings us joy. If what brings you joy isnt problematic (like pedophilia or abusive relationships), if youre nice and dont insult people, if youre just somone enjoying the show, then whats wrong with that? Whats wrong with people believing qrow is ruby's dad? Whats wrong with someone thinking bs can happen? Maybe this brings them joy, so what? If they dont act as if its the ultimate truth and tell us how theyre right (like how people used to come on lesbian yang posts to tell us how shes actually bi) then who cares about what they think/enjoy?

What Im trying to say is: differentiate between those who simply enjoy something and those who think only their opinions are right, who come to your posts to say ur wrong, who insult you for your different opinions, and just let people enjoy things

and seriously, aint yall tired of all those battles or whatever? At this point we're 100% sure bb is romantic, whats the point of making posts about how bs is dead just cause after all this time they finally got something to gush about and theyre excited about this. Werent we the same in v4? If they get something just let them enjoy it, I thought we knew better than this

[thisisasupergoodidea]

just watched The Guy Who Didnt Like Musicals a second time. i didnt really process the songs properly the first time and didnt like them but now i can actually hear the tunes as intended and i love this whole thing so much. so im gonna ramble about this musical for a bit. spoilers ahead if u havent watched yet (its on youtube)

ive seen a few of the theories ppl have about the delivery of the musical, and about what happens at the end especially. i think i wanna try my hand at it too because sometimes i enjoy interpreting details. and im a gigantic sucker for reprises that stitch together all the songs we just heard into its own frankenstein song that completely changes in meaning or tone based on all the info we absorbed over the course of the program. and boi the last song of the show sure fuckin delivers

ok well i need to start at the beginning though. some ppl are confused by what the opening lil song and dance is within the context of the musical, because it introduces the main character, but at that point no one is infected yet so it just seems like standard musical stuff in the viewpoint of the audience, who expects this. but the entire plot of this musical is that the characters’ world slowly BECOMES a musical due to alien spores from a meteor infecting everyone to act as a harmonious hive mind. so in this sense its two musicals at the same time: the musical that starkid productions wrote, and the looser ‘musical’ that the alien entity is orchestrating during its antagonism of the main character. i believe that the opener takes place after at least a partially successful domination of the populace, mostly because of the fact that the characters who participate in that song are referring to ‘themselves’ in the third person and are dancing all hunched and menacingly, exactly how the alien spore compels people to dance later on in the plot. that plus a line that i might be recalling correctly about how the main character is their final story to tell, makes me certain that this is the alien telling that story

as for the main character paul’s absence from that song, i really think thats something intended in the musical to introduce what paul is like in the most succinct way possible. the guy just did not like musicals. throughout the plot he is constantly defining himself by his lack of participation, so of course the cheekiest way to set that up is to have him not participate in the opener. i think the confusing part here is when the story actually begins, because if the opener was performed by the future infected characters, when is the line drawn to differentiate between the two musicals that are happening (starkid musical vs alien musical)? or is the whole thing a performance by the alien entity? in which case, everyone on that stage is simply acting out the story as determined by the hive mind. but to whom, if everyone’s infected? i’ll get back to that later

another thing i love about this musical is how gradually tired of paul’s shit the alien entity becomes over the course of the plot, as evidenced by the tone of the songs. it just gets worse and worse. the alien’s songs turn from sickeningly cheerful to enticing, to threatening, to evoking hopelessness, then finally to pressuring paul past his breaking point. some of the songs arent even directed at paul but the change still happens, which goes to show the alien entity’s frustration. and at the end when the infected find emma, the song is happy again. they sing that awesome reprise, a really energetic mashup in which its hard not to feel like the alien plague is unstoppable. inevitable, one might say.

speaking of the end... paul’s confrontation with the meteor (my absolute favorite scene that i would rewatch a hundred times except i dont want to get tired of it too fast) contains good information to understanding what happens afterward. paul tries to blow it up, gets distracted by the appearance of his infected acquaintances, and the longer he stays there the more infected he himself becomes, breathing in such a heavy concentration of those alien spores at the epicenter of its activity. until now, he has rejected actively being the ‘star of the show’ like the alien seems to... want him to be? idk, the point is that his character defies musical protagonist tropes despite how the plot follows him. the story is ABOUT the alien, but paul is the audience’s anchor. until he goes to blow up the meteor. at that point, the alien has him. he can barely fight back against his own body synchronizing with the other infected as they goad him into giving in, but he puts up a damn good struggle considering those impossible circumstances. still, for the first time, he participates. he sings. he hates it, but it brings out some interesting thoughts: does he hate it? did he ever? or is this just the spores talking?

but what part, exactly, does he hate? in a musical, the singing and dancing act is usually the method of delivery for whatever the character is truly feeling. it is an opportunity for the audience to connect emotionally with the person who is singing. but we dont have that with paul for almost the entire show. he doesnt participate. and he’s established in the beginning as selfish, kind of a dick, and not available to anyone (except emma who is the only person he even slightly opens up to. he tries to be more friendly somewhat with bill, i think, but even then that couldve just been to get him to snap out of it and escape the school). he said himself that people singing and dancing makes him uncomfortable. so all this is to say that, on a deeper level, i think the aspect of the singing and dancing that he hates, that he fights to resist, is the vulnerability. you can witness the madness and shame for yourself as he sings more and more, letting out his worries, unsure if his feelings are his anymore. but hey, he ends that scene with a statement reaffirming the self he walked in with (which is to say, a guy who hates musicals) and finally pulls his grenade. so its cool that he was able to resist that but. guys. if the spores didnt get him. that grenade absolutely did. he didnt even bother to throw it away from himself, he flung it down right in front of him. theres no way he didnt get blown to bloody chunks, fully intending for that to be his final act of defiance

but i think it was too late by then. he’d already breathed in so many spores, and we were shown earlier on that death is not an impediment to becoming infected. i think after he exploded, he was still absorbed into the collective and reformed as a new addition to the hive mind. his explosives might not have been enough to fully destroy the meteor. and thats why, at the very end, i believe that - despite his admittedly suspicious face journey during the song - he isnt faking it. because if he was, wouldnt the hive mind know that it doesnt contain him within it? not only that, but in the opening song emma is clearly part of the group. given that she is the only one who is undoubtedly not infected in the last song, we have to assume that she will be sometime after the finale of the musical.

and now im left with my unexplored questions: is this a musical played straight, or a ‘musical’ put on by the alien entity after it wins? and who is the ‘musical’ intended for? its fun to speculate but im not sure these are questions that can be answered by watching it a bunch of times. theyre aimed too much outside of the zone of operation, if that makes sense. its like, you cant ever look at your own eyeballs normally. you need a mirror or for someone to describe them to you. these questions exist outside of the limitations of the musical format, so we wouldnt direct them at the video, we would ask them of the creators. or not. its cool to not have all the questions answered too

ah i wrote a flippin essay, huh? i guess i wanted to prove to myself that my brain still works

[writing-realityawayfromreality]

I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretend that they’re you

Requested: Yes 

“I can’t keep doing this Ty. One day you are telling me how much you love me and the next you make it seem like you wish you were, i don’t know... free. For christ sake Ty, you’re 25 and still not ready to settle down. Clearly you can’t make the choice for yourself so i am making it. It’s over Tyson, I’m sorry.”

And with that you left. You didn’t look back because you knew that if you looked back you would had never left. But you couldn’t keep living the way that you were, never feeling good enough for him, always coming in second. 

It has now been two years since that day. You haven’t really kept in touch with Tyson after the breakup. It was too painful to see how happy he was and how sad you were. You kept in touch with some of the guys who you were close to on the team. You go to their games but make sure to leave right away so you have less of a chance running into Tyson. Plus it was a farther drive since you had moved, you had to since you and Tyson shared the apartment but at least your new place is closer to your work.

Tonight you had finally given into your friends and are letting them drag you out to a club. You haven dated once or twice but it was never anything too serious. you didn’t allow it to get to that point. Your friends couldn’t really blame you. You and Tyson had been together for a little over five years. Everyone thought that you two were it, that you were going to get married, start a family and live happily ever after. But life doesn’t work that way, it’s not all fairytales. 

You heard a knock on the door to your apartment, “Come in.” You yelled from your room. It was Vanessa, Mackinnon’s girlfriend (I know they broke up but just for the stories sake) who you had grown really close to over the years. “I thought we were going out tonight?” she questioned. “I thought so?” you questioned back “You aren’t even ready to go yet.” She responded. “Oh, why are we leaving so early?” you asked looking at the clock. “To get there before all the creeps do. Now come on lets go” she said walking out to your living room.

You rolled over getting out of bed and headed to you bathroom. You plugged in your hair curler and got out your makeup. You didn’t want to go too bold so you did a light eyeshadow but a darker color on your lips since they were your best feature. You quickly ran to get changed into your favorite black dress before heading back into the bathroom to curl your hair. Giving yourself a glance over you walked out to the living room where Vanessa was sitting, coming up behind her you could see that she was on Instagram. Looking over her shoulder you saw Tyson’s face. You dropped your shoes that you were holding making Vanessa jump and turn to look at you. “Y/n....” she looked back down at her phone seeing that Tyson’s picture was still on it, she quickly clicked out of instagram. 

“Y/n... It’s been two years...” Vanessa said. “I know. It still hurts, and I haven’t seen him in so long. Maybe I could just peek on his Insta?” You said pulling out your phone and typing in him name. Clicking on his page you saw a whole bunch of pictures with him and different girls. The pictures were probably like two weeks apart and there was always a new girl with some cliche caption, you also noticed how all the girls all looked sightly similar and almost like you. “Y/n, are you okay?” Vanessa asked grabbing your arm slightly. “Yeah, you ready?” You said placing your phone in your purse, bending down to get your shoes on.

You  called an uber to have you guys taken to the club in town. You were honestly so excited because it was your first time out since Tyson. You walked in and headed straight for the bar. This was honestly your favorite club, there wasn’t a whole lot of creeps and the music was always amazing. You got yourself and Vanessa a shot before heading to the dance floor. You and Vanessa were having a great time. That was until you spotted him. Vanessa must had seen him at the same time you did because she pulled you towards the bar. 

“I didn’t know they were going to be here, Nate didn’t tell me...” “Vanessa, it’s okay. lets get a few more drinks and have a good time, yeah?” You said grabbing the bar tenders attention. At least an hour goes by and at this point you have at least three or four mixed drinks in you so you were feeling pretty good right about then. Tyson hadn’t seen you which made your night ten times better. 

Nate had showed up surprising Vanessa, needless to say they went off and did their own thing leaving you alone on the dance floor. There was now a whole lot more people then there was a few hours ago. Even though you had some drinks the buzz was starting to wear off. Heading back to the bar you bumped into a rather large man. Saying your excuse me’s you continued to the bar. After ordering you drink you went to reach for your purse to which it was no longer on your shoulder. feeling a tap on you other shoulder you turned around. “I think you... Y/N!?!?” Tyson said. “Thanks.” you said grabbing you purse, downing your drink, placing the money on the bar and headed for the doors. 

You just couldn’t be around him, not yet. Seeing him there all up on the other girls dancing, buying them drinks. It was just too much. Pulling out your phone you started to call for an Uber. “Y/N,,, can we just talk?” Tyson asked out of breath from clearly running after you. Ignoring him you hear a faint hello on the other end of the line, giving them your address you hung up.” “You moved pretty far huh? Why?” Tyson asked still standing behind you. “It’s none of your business Tyson, now just go back into the bar and forget you even saw me.” “How can I Y/n, you the most beautiful girl here.” “You’re drunk Tyson.” You said walking away. 

“Y/n, just stop. I haven’t seen you for two years and this is how you are going to treat me?” Tyson asked sounding kind of hurt. “Do you think it is easy for me Tyson, I spent five years of my life with you, loving you, supporting you, waiting. You didn’t even act like you wanted to be in a relationship anymore towards the end so I made the right choice for the both of us. I moved because I couldn’t stand to see how happy you were with the other girls after we broke up. And honestly nothing has changed, so go back in there and go hook up with some puck bunnies or something because I’m not coming back.” You said now spotting your uber. 

Before you knew it Tyson grabbed your arm turning you around to face him. “Tyson, what...” Tyson crashed his lips onto yours, it was like fireworks going off inside your head. Even though it had been two years, and even though you had broken up with him didn’t mean that you stopped caring for him, it didn’t mean that you didn’t love him. Pulling away you looked into Tyson’s eyes. you could tell they were sad. “I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretend that they are you. After you broke up with me I tried to find someone to drown out my sadness, all the girls I kept picking just reminded me of you. I didn’t even really like them, I just wanted you Y/n. I tried pretending that they were you and they weren’t. I hoped and prayed i would run into you again. I am so sorry that I wasted five years of your life Y/n. I wish that I could take it back and been the better boyfriend that you needed. That you deserved.” Tyson said now with tears in his eyes. “Y/n, please, I need you. I’m 27 now and I’m tired of playing these games. I love you.” 

“Ty... I... i need some time to think.” You said before getting into your uber. You were heading back to your place, I couldn’t stop thinking about what Tyson had said. Maybe he has changed. Maybe he is finally ready to settle down. Before you knew it you gave the uber driver your old address. You hoped that Tyson had gone home by this point. Pulling up to the old apartment building you got out. Taking a big breath you headed up to Tyson’s apartment. 

Knocking on the door you head footsteps. The door opened revealing a puffy eyed Tyson. “I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretend that they are you either.” You said making Tyson smile. “This is your one and only chance Tyson Barrie. You better not waste another five years of my life.” You said kissing Tyson. 

[nightglider124]

I am so tired.

So. It’s come to it. I have so many thoughts floating around in my head and I can’t express them enough so looks like we’re doing a big fat post which is fucking stupid anyway.

This whole Dickkory/Dickbabs darma... I’m seeing it in the tags and I’m just... why? I thought people were done with this pathetic ship war stuff. It’s so childish?

So, I’ve only really noticed an influx of this hatred since that anon went on a hate spree to dickkory fans’ inboxes. Otherwise, I don’t really notice anything between dickbabs and dickkory fans. 

Let’s be clear about this - That anon doesn’t represent the entirety of dickbabs fans; they really don’t. From the looks of it, they were just a bully and a troll, intent on causing some drama between the two ships. I doubt they’re even a dickbabs fan for real - and if they are, they are certainly not one that the fans would want to associate themselves with, I imagine.

In response to that, can we all stop the shitty back and forth? That anon (or in some cases not anon for those who were also aware of their username) is a nobody who honestly just wants to be a dick and doesn’t care about the fandom itself. If you’re a dickbabs fan and you’re sticking up for them and the things they have been saying to dickkory fans, you need to reevaluate. Likewise, if you’re a dickkory fan that has been lashing out at dickbabs fans for no other reason than being triggered by that pathetic anon, stop it.

Like chill the fuck out with all this abuse between the two ships; it’s so high school and irrelevant and exhausting. Just stop; don’t be children because it’s just embarrassing. That is to both sides of this.

Which leads me to the next thing - dickbabs and dickkory fans are no better or worse than the other. In both fandoms, you have the bad apples who are honestly just such assholes, even you dislike them. I can tell you right now, there are many dickkory fans in the past that I have blocked because they are so negative and atrocious - they’re just not worth being linked to. 

But, neither fan can turn round and say “my fandom is perfect; no one gives hate” because you’re either just not seeing it or you’re not being truthful. There are crappy, hateful fans in ever corner of fandom - any fandom. 

There will always be a few that ruin it for other fans who simply want to enjoy their ship without any abuse or drama. There will always be the hateful, nasty fans who like to try and tear down their “rival” ship and make the fandom look bad. 

It’s not an individual thing so can we please not act like it is? Dickbabs fans need to stop coming for dickkory fans saying we’re all toxic and vice versa; dickkory fans need to remember that dickbabs fans are not these demons - they are just fans trying to enjoy their ship. 

Everyone just leave each other alone if you don’t have nice things to say.

Just be happy with what you have - Dickkory is clearly a thing going on in Titans and some other forms of media. Dickbabs is going on YJ - Let each other have the media forms. Like, who cares? Just be happy with the content you get - don’t be spiteful and angry and pathetic towards fans who are happy to have their ship in something, regardless of who has had more or whatever. 

The thing I have seen a lot of is this slut shaming as well which isn’t cool. This whole hate on Kory as a character is just not acceptable. Whether you dislike her or not, stay out of Kory related tags and stay away from the actress portraying her in Titans. If you’re sending hate to Anna Diop, you are just such a shitty person. The woman is doing her job; leave her the fuck alone. 

Just because you don’t like the character or you don’t like who has been chosen to play her, does not give you the right to be sending threats and racial slurs towards the actress. I thought that was basic human principals but I guess some are still in the baby stages of learning that one; y’know, how to respect others around them. 

Likewise, I’ve seen some dickkory fans bashing on Babs as a character as well which isn’t fair either. Babs is a wonderful character in her own right and if you don’t like her or you hate on her solely because you dislike dickbabs; get in the damn corner and take a time out. I’m not a huge fangirl of Babs; not for a particular reason, I’m just neither here nor there for her. 

But, you don’t see me going to posts and fanart and fanfics and fans’ inboxes, giving them shit just for liking the character. Each to their own on who they like, who they ship, who they don’t like but stop trying to shove it down other fans’ throats. 

Do not push your opinions and thoughts on characters and ships on people who are fans of what you hate. It’s not fair and honestly just makes you a douchebag. 

A big rule in fandoms which... I really thought some people would have learned by this point - if you don’t like something, scroll past it or blacklist it. If you don’t like a user on this site/fandom or they post stuff you don’t like? That block button is there for a reason. Keep the negative stuff away from your dashboard. 

Don’t start giving people hate and making drama and just being unpleasant when all you need to do it blacklist or block. It’s not difficult. 

The same goes for - if you’re making a hate post or if you’re stating how you don’t like “X ship” - for the love of God, don’t tag it. Don’t be that person. Please.

If you tag stuff that you know if gonna piss off a fan, then you get no sympathy when they come stomping through. You are clearly provoking them with that.

Don’t tag bullshit and don’t do it when you know fans go to the tags to enjoy their ship; not to see it be torn down or spat on. 

Just be respectful and nice?? I don’t know why the select few fans on both sides of Dickkory and Dickbabs find that so damn hard? It’s not.

Both ships are valid and wonderful - accept and embrace this; please. And move on.

I am so sick of seeing spitefulness to each other when at the end of the day, we’re all just trying to enjoy out fictional characters and our ships. No one should be getting harassed or abused over something like that.

Fandom world, for most is supposed to be a haven and people who give shit and hate and make unnecessary drama are the ones who ruin the haven.

I can’t believe I actually have to reiterate to just be nice? It’s a basic human concept. Be nice to others and be respectful of things that whilst you might not like, others do. Accept and move on.

I feel like I’ve been fair in this little rant so if I get hate on either side lmao, I will be either deleting or giving you blunt af replies bc honestly I am so done with childish arguments.