#im just thinking about some things. and i like the idea of it seeming tragic but maybe.... just maybe...

[coryndoll]

what would you do for love?

exboyfriend!rafe cameron x obsessed!exgirlfriend!reader

— in which y/n spirals into a possessive obsession over her ex-boyfriend rafe. she quietly pulls the strings from the shadows, creating accidents, bribing others, and doing whatever it takes to maintain control—believing she is the only one truly capable of loving him.

warnings: y/n acting like a subtle joe goldberg asf😭, drinking, smoking, y/n missing rafe

authors note: potential series??? THIS COULD BE ITS PROLOGUE. idk much about sofias background so i cant write out a full length “dive” on her like joe would in you, but ill do what i can!! im not abandoning “waking up to you” though, just trying to figure out ideas for how to play out the rest of the week ‘til the end LMFAOOO

if u are interested in being part of the tag list, please let me know through replies, anons, dms, or reblogs !! notifications are always on <33

next

you’re rummaging through your drawers, tossing clothes to the side in a desperate search for something that feels right. it’s one of those nights—some random party you’re not really excited for but can’t help going to because, well, everyone’s going. the young adults of the island, at least.

another night of sloppy, underage drinking, messy hookups, and pointless fights breaking out over nothing, the kind of chaos that seems to thrive in a place like this. you don’t even know whose party it is, but that hardly matters.

you’ve already pulled out a pile of tops, but none of them feel like the one. too tight, too loose, too boring, not the vibe. they’re scattered across your bed now as you dig deeper, hoping that the perfect top is somehow hiding at the very bottom. and that’s when your fingers brush against something familiar, soft yet slightly worn—his hoodie.

you freeze for a second, your hand gripping the fabric, and a wave of something bittersweet washes over you. you didn’t even remember it was still there, shoved in the farthest corner of the drawer like you were trying to forget about it. but now it’s right in front of you, and just holding it feels like opening an old wound.

it’s rafe’s hoodie. as in your ex-boyfriend’s hoodie. the one he never asked for after you broke up. it’s stupid, probably, keeping it like this, but a part of you always thought that meant something.

back then, you’d convinced yourself that him not asking for it back was a sign. like he was telling you, in some unspoken way, that it wasn’t really over. that he still wanted you to hold on, just for a little longer. you’d held onto that hope longer than you should’ve.

because now, things are different. you’ve seen him around the island, his arm draped around another girl, a pogue, of all people. the whole thing feels like a bad joke, doesn’t it? rafe cameron, the toxic kook from figure eight, running around with some girl from the cut.

you wonder what her deal is. maybe she’s living out some kind of romeo and juliet fantasy. is that it, rafe? is that what you’ve become—her tragic love story? maybe she’s the kind of girl who romanticizes the idea of being with someone she isn’t supposed to, thinking she’s special because she got him.

the thought makes you frown, a bitter taste rising in the back of your throat. she doesn’t even know him like you do. she doesn’t know the way his mind works, doesn’t know what he’s like when the charm fades, when he’s spiraling, when everything he tries to hold together starts to fall apart.

without thinking, you pull the hoodie closer, burying your face in it. his scent still lingers faintly in the fabric—his cologne. that familiar, warm smell that used to make you feel safe, even when things between you were anything but. it’s been a while since you broke up, but the cologne is still there, still clinging to the material like it’s holding on, just like you are.

you wonder if he still wears it. maybe he sprays it on for his new girl now. maybe she pulls his hoodies around herself the way you used to, breathing him in, thinking she’s the only one who gets to do that now. the thought actually makes your chest ache.

you blink a few times, your throat tight, and gently lower the hoodie back down to your lap. i miss you, you think, but the words never make it past your lips. they just hang there, heavy and silent, as you stare down at the hoodie, wishing things had ended differently.

eventually, you pull the drawer all the way open and spot a shirt hiding beneath where the hoodie had been—it’s perfect for tonight. you pick it up, placing it on the edge of the drawer, but your fingers linger on the hoodie for a moment longer. then, with a quiet sigh, you fold it back up, tucking it away into the corner of the drawer once more. out of sight but never really out of mind.

you shove everything else back in, trying to get rid of the clutter, both in your room and in your head. it’s just another party, another night to pretend everything’s fine. but the hoodie still sits there, waiting, like it always has.

you’re waiting as your friend pours you a drink, eyes drifting over the skatepark around you. the party is in full swing—some are crowded around ramps, a few on their boards showing off, others slouched on graffiti-covered benches, their laughter mixing with the pounding bass.

when your friend hands you the cup, you take it with a nod, cruising through the crowds as you chat. your gaze flicks from group to group—people are either dancing, downing drinks, or getting a little too close in the shadows. you’re only half-focused on the conversation as you weave between the bodies.

you end up hanging by a ramp, watching as a few people race to shotgun their drinks. it’s messy and ridiculous, the kind of thing you can’t help but get pulled into. someone challenges you, and before you know it, you’re joining in. you win—barely—but not without nearly choking yourself in the process, coughing and laughing at the same time. sure, you won, but at what cost? still, it’s funny enough to have you and your friends laughing about it after.

while your friends mess around, you drift away from the noise, leaning back against the railing near the top of the ramp. your phone dangles loosely in your hand, and you’re resting your head on one of your friend’s backs as they chatter on. you don’t really need to be involved in the conversation—it’s comfortable just being there.

you find yourself staring at your phone screen, thumb hovering over the keyboard as you type out a quick message: hey.

it’s to rafe. of course, it is. and you know it’s dumb, you know you shouldn’t send it, but for some reason, everything in you wants to. even though it won’t do anything, even though he’s probably not even thinking about you right now.

you swipe your tongue across your bottom lip, hesitating for a beat longer before closing the app. you’re not gonna send it. you know you wouldn’t have anyway, you were just seeing if you’re drunk enough to go through with it. not this time. maybe another. maybe never. with a sigh, you turn your phone off and shove it into your pocket, trying to push the thought away.

but just then, there’s a commotion at the edge of the park, some people turning to look. a new car’s pulled up, headlights cutting through the dark, and as the doors open, your stomach drops.

yeah, of course, it’s him. rafe steps out, and your eyes lock onto him immediately. he’s got his girl by his side, and the sight alone makes you want to tilt your head back and groan. but instead, you just watch, waiting, seeing what they’ll do.

rafe moves through the crowd easily, that infamous smile on his face, flashing it at anyone who bothers to look. he looks . . . happy, which is great for him, really. it’s nice, or whatever. but as your gaze follows him, watching the way he’s moving with her, there’s a part of you that’s almost relieved. because no matter how content he looks, he doesn’t look happier. not happier than he did when he was with you. and somehow, that’s enough.

“don’t look now,” one of your girl friends mutters as she approaches, her voice low and careful. her back is to the rest of the party, which includes rafe and sofia, not that they’d even glance your way.

“you’re too late,” you say, leaning back against the railing, gripping it with a small smile. normally, you’d be dropping dead right about now, but if you did that, your friend would worry. and really, you’re not bothered. or at least, not too bothered.

“they look good together,” you add casually, waving a hand toward the crowd where rafe and sofia stand. you’re trying to sell it, trying to convince your friend that this is all good with you.

your friend gives you a skeptical look, her brow raised, and you nod, like you’re insisting she believe you. “i’m serious,” you tell her. “they’re perfect for each other.”

she rolls her eyes and glances over her shoulder to check them out herself, hand on her hip as she grimaces. “yeah, she’s perfect if he’s into . . .” she trails off, eyeing sofia's outfit—one of those looks where it’s obvious rafe bought the clothes for her, but none of it quite fits her style. “knock-off country club chic?”

it’s not that funny, but the resemblance is a little accurate. “stop,” you murmur, nudging her. you can’t help the faint smile that pulls at the corner of your lips as you lift your cup, pretending to hide it by taking a sip.

your friend's not wrong, and she catches the smirk you’re trying to hide. “told you,” she teases, a grin spreading across her face as you take the joint from her hand.

inhaling deeply, you let the smoke linger in your lungs before you exhale it in a slow, straight line. as the haze clears, your eyes fix on rafe and sofia, standing together in the middle of the skatepark. your face softens, the humor from earlier fading like something inside you has switched off. no more laughing, no more games.

just them.

just her.

you take sofia in for what she is—pretty. sure, you can give her that. you understand why rafe might’ve been drawn to her at first. she’s the kind of girl who stays close to him, like she’s tethered, like she can’t stand alone unless rafe has to excuse himself. and when he leaves, she fades into the background. disappears.

you watch her now, standing awkwardly off to the side while rafe talks to someone, looking small, unimportant. oh. interesting.

she must like attention. no, not attention, rafe’s attention. she clings to it like it’s the only thing that makes her visible. and yeah, she’s done up nice—dressed in new clothes, no doubt bought with rafe’s money. she cleans up well for a pogue.

but there’s something about the way she fidgets, like her skin doesn’t quite fit right in the fabric. you can tell she’s not used to it, this life. it’s too big for her. she’s nervous, uncomfortable, trying to blend in with the kind of people who were born into this world.

and her smile. you can see it from here, that ‘just to be kind’ smile. practiced, polite. probably something her parents taught her. good for her, really. that’s good.

she works at the pelican yacht club, doesn’t she? you live right by it. the idea that she works so close to your home, that rafe goes by your house just to see her . . . it makes your stomach twist.

she’s short, shorter than most. short hair, short bangs, and so this relationship will be short too.

just a phase. it has to be. or you’ll make it.

whatever it takes.

early tags: @iissza @lotuslovers @obsessionsarenotfortheweak @yootvi @skyslowalking @ariiwritess @beebeerockknot

[spaloonbabooguuscooties]

You could drink your whole life away and still never get that taste out of your mouth.

half commission for @salempie half completely self indulgent dreck pieced together from our insane conversations abt franke and elka. told myself id finally write a big explanation for all of the dum shit between these two for context so Thats Under The Cut.

so I already wrote some stuff about elka and franke's relationship back in whispering rock so feel free to look at that too . it goes over elkas blindness/‘seeing’ with clairvoyance and how her and franke started talking & all that good stuff

SO FOR STARTERS. a lot of thsi wont make sense without a big breakdown of elka herself. because elkas potential as a character is like insane to me. like just the idea of her in the long run of her life reads as something so potentially tragic; a young girl whos plagued with visions of doom and destined to be an outcast even in her own home for things she cant control and clings to the One vision of her wedding that she thinks is 'happy' even despite the fact she doesnt really love the person in it. im choosing to take the li-po doc as canon here because its funny shes the only one with backstory-

but my fucking god even the smallest look into what her parents are like is soo fucked up to me. and i do think elka especially gets a lot of influence from her mother; its funny how easily you can fit mabel doom into a box just from what elka says about her. knees deep in an avon-esque pyramid scheme and leaning into her daughters depressing ass visions & taking her to therapy at age 11 (which would be good if not for the kind of person you can already assume she is & so i doubt the therapist she has really does her any good. i think they share one). she reads as a very I Am My Daughters Best Friend type of mom to me and i can see elka being a centerpiece of the conversation when she has her Amway Girls over for drinks. wine-mom that lets her kid sip from the glass so she can feel like a big girl type deal.

and you can tell that elka is trying to hard to be too mature for her age even in her campster posts. how she writes letters to nils' mom and exchanges baking recipes with her and that feels like she really only interacts with middle aged women and not really many people her own age outside of camp (like her moms friends). which makes sense shed feel the need to ‘grow up’ early when shes probably had to process so many hard things at a young age bc of her visions.

theres a lot of filling the blanks here of course.

elka obsesses over nils to an overbearing degree even despite the fact he treats her like shit ('you promised no talking' and so on) and she treats him bad right back. she leans onto stereotypical heterosexual ideals like taking care of him and overblowing how Manly and Protective JT is and she admires romance stories like pride and prejudice and it feels like she Projects Soooooooo much of what she wants onto boys she barely feels anything for without knowing what its actually supposed to feel like. and clearly she WANTS that ideal future, a happy marriage, an actual romance- but according to nils even when they were dating she ignored him most of the time, which just seems Very Telling

like shes filling a role, overcompensating for emotions and lacktherof she cant digest quite yet, and it only makes more sense when you know shes had visions of their future together. how could that be bad for her? shouldnt it be like the books and movies? but she doesnt really connect the fact that her visions are only for Doomed futures, and if she does she certainly doesnt show it. Doomed relationships. it's been a part of her family for generations and she isn't turning out much different, is she? i dont think she even realizes thats all she ever sees yet, just that its Going to happen. that it's Her future, and it always will be

and like, her only reference for a real marriage so far has been her own parents, and she already Knows they have an affair, and theyre doomed to split, (and i actually like to think they were in rough waters anyway and elka was a child meant to mend a crumbling marriage but thats a whole other thing) and so without a framework for what an actual healthy relationship is supposed to be like she cant really grasp that her relationship with nils Isnt that and isnt ever going to be. she can only cling to this one happy idea of the future, and thats why she keeps chasing him, self fulfilling the actuality of her situation and creating and fostering the unhappy life they will inevitably live together.

and that bleeds into everything else in her life, of course, because as the years go on, as the visions grow in number it just makes sense for her to fall into the predictability of her life. she always knows whats going to happen, her visions are Never wrong- so why try to change things? shes had time to process tragedies days, weeks, months, years before they happen, shes had time to settle into every crack of her life. her parents divorce, her various break ups, her future with the psychonauts.

“and she's already seen so much of a future with [nils] she feels trapped almost. Like she has to be happy in it or else it just means her life is miserable. And it's a mixture of pride and fear of the unknown that keeps her clinging to the One thing she knows. BUT LIKE!!! She knows what's gonna happen! It's easier to grieve when she's been grieving for years... She wants so badly to be happy, But to do that she has to step into the unfamiliar. And that's more terrifying than staying the same miserable person she's always been.”

and thats where franke comes in— and yeah you Do have to take a lot of liberties for frankes character since it’s basically, like, all the info for her is just that shes a Supreme Baby Dyke but thats enough for me. i think she has protective butch itch in her . on campster shes defensive over other women evidenced in the way she keeps watch over the girls cabins for lili when elton is pursuing her . but shes also eager to please and constantly trying to make kitty laugh and also Very naive. but she tries! and i think it only solidifies more as she gets Older and really gets a hold of her feelings & her powers. this is incredibly franke to me

and i think as they grow older together— because i think franke and elka Do stay friends, both because elka is just pathetic and needs that positive connection even if she doesnt realize it and because i think franke is a very Loyal person & annoyingly persistent if you let her be . and i am also a kitty/franke truther. because kittys also important in this web we weave

because i think franke and kitty stay together after camp, to a point— theres a falling out facilitated on kittys end and they break up, but reconnect, and franke kind of... saves kitty from herself a little, from her strict military father whos love only extends thru finances , from her own stifling future , she drives all the way to bakersville in her shitty van handmedowned from her dad and they move in together eventually . they get jobs at the motherlobe , because it’s a pipeline to a decent job, because it’s whats easy, because franke doesn’t really have a future, because she’s never really been good at much, because shes never had much sense, because franke doesnt really care as long as she can live and help, sometimes, if she can, and because kitty’s there, and because elka’s there, and shes so used to being elkas eyes now and shes good at it. shes good at being the muscle of the missions when her colleagues lack it, when hypnosis and predictions arent enough. she likes it that way.

and elka appreciates frankes company. she listens, shes sweet, she does little things for her that no ones ever really put the effort for before; she likes her. franke is strong and bold and makes her laugh and shes always there but god elka cant let go of that future, of that box shes put herself in, that her mothers put her in, of being a Good Wife to a Loving Husband, of getting married normally and falling into unfailing familiarity. thats all shes ever wanted and shes not going to jeopardize that . not for franke, who may not be a boy but is handsome like one, whos always held her after every break up with nils and the men that filled empty days inbetween.

and elka is too stubborn to recognize those feelings anyway. too prideful to accept a way out. too set in her cycle no matter how much she hates it, her little self fulfilling tragedy of her own making, wallowing in her own doom. she struggles for control of her own life when she feels like every choice has been made for her anyway, she puts up her walls and carefully constructs what people see. but franke was always harder to trick, because while empathy isnt a particularly useful psychic power it’s certainly an inconvenient one. all franke has to do is get too close and all those carefully crafted walls fall apart, and elkas control is gone, and thats all she really has. and she tries to distance herself, really she does, but franke is also too persistent. and elka wears gloves, keeps contact that would make her walls crumble from happening as best as she can, but she cant really keep herself from the brief moments where she feels like someone actually fucking cares about her.

and that slightest lack of control, the need to wrestle it back is why she proposes to nils the next time theres a falling out— she knows how it happens, she plans every detail. and he accepts, despite everything. gets her a cheap ring and it feels like lead on her finger and its nothing at all like how shed thought it to be when she was a kid, theres no feather light feeling in her chest, only that dreadful reality that she cant turn this back. BUT WHAT CAN U DO LMAO

elka doesnt tell franke about this engagement until later, on their way back from a mission. late at night when neither of them can sleep, and franke invites elka to smoke in her van, because its been so long since theyve been alone like that, because elkas been so strangely absent lately. and because of everything, because frankes always so damn nice, because elka hates the feel of the ring on her finger, because she let herself get high alone with franke fucking athens whos always been so good at pulling her apart— the truth of it all spills out and its messy and emotional and she hates it, she hates the life shes made for herself, but franke makes it easier to bare and now shes here and shes so close and god she wishes she could see her smile again, she wishes she could see franke, thats all she needs right now and she cant but she can touch her and she can hold her and for tonight, she can be known, she can let those walls crumble, she can be something else just for once here with franke . she can kiss her here in this van, touch that happiness for just a moment, and forget the future that waits for her outside of it. franke begs her to forget the wedding, to just let herself be happy— and god, she wants to, but it means turning her back on everything shes known and everything shes saw to be inevitable, and franke has never been in her future, so if it were supposed to work out why hadnt she seen it and she cant, she cant take that risk but she can have this, even if its temporary, she can have it.

and just as soon as she gets a taste of it, its gone. after that night, after the missions over and theyre back at the motherlobe and have to pretend like nothing happened (franke doesnt, of course she tells kitty about it, she tells kitty about everything.) but that brief moment together haunts elka every time she sees franke, sees herself through frankes eyes, sees herself in her wedding dress because god its all franke can think about! of course it is! she knows how much elkas destroying herself she knows how much misery shes wallowing in that kiss in the van felt like an emotional punch to the teeth and she hasnt ever forgotten it and all she can do is sit and watch while elka throws herself into a loveless marriage. she can come to her wedding and see the way the bride and groom kiss with the emotional weight of a wet towel no matter how hard elka tries to hide it under a pretty dress and bouquets of flowers and meticulous planning.

and elka resents nils but she cant really hate him, its not his fault, not really. he feels trapped just like she does and his feelings of misery only cycle back into hers . they fight and gnash and wear away at each other and its a relationship thats crashed and burned a million times before elka even said i do. and its inevitable that she falls into her mothers habits, a sip of wine here and there to loosen up, until it turns to a glass, until it falls into a bottle on nights when whatever work nils does runs late.

but franke’s still there. shes always been there, hasn’t she? always trying to play knight, always trying to save her, dragging her home when shes stumbling over herself because god who else is going to do it but her? who else is left to care? certainly not nils. never nils. because franke knows her. because franke pities her. shes always pitied her. shes always known. and elka hates it, she resents it, but god in the same breath she’s desperate for it, she envies it to her very bones. elka is a mess but after frankes done with her she has someone to go back to that loves her. and god what elka wouldnt do to have that. to take it and keep it for herself because shes never ever got to have that movie romance shes always wanted.

so now comes this.

because elkas particularly miserable and particularly spiteful and she needs to get franke to understand, just for a moment, drink with her and get on her level and she needs her there with her no matter how her pity makes her feel. no matter how much it makes her shake with anger and envy and desperation, but god the way franke looks at her, the way she still tries to salvage what they have, the soft, slurred way she tells her that it’s okay but its not okay, none of this is okay, it never has been and she just wants franke to shut up and see that, and if she cant then she’ll show her, she’ll show her all the raw angry desperation, with too much teeth and hands that claw and grab and she’ll know why everyones always said she’s too much.

and she knows this puts her on nils’ level too. that this makes her a cheater, that shes no better than he is now. no better than her father and his affair. but god, she wants to be selfish. she wants to be in control. just for once. she wants to feel right and she wants to feel happy and she wants to feel loved. thats all shes ever wanted. and franke will let her have that, just for a little while, at the very least.

anyway. sorry. sorry for being crazy . this isnt even getting into the shit after the comic takes place . elkas stupid brainworld thag she has to overcome in order to finally be allowed in the polycule and live happily ever as worlds first lesbian divorceman

sorry for all the shit i make up instead of caring about actual characters with screentime . bye !

[yujinslovr]

babe can we get g!p dom!jennie and dubcon? 🤲🏻

a/n: bae im so sorry, i know you said dubcon and i tried to make it out to be that in some parts but i think this is for the most part just noncon😞😞

CW: noncon, kinda dubcon, somnophilia, degrading, breeding, impact play

“what movie do you wanna watch?” jennie asked from beside you on the couch, remote in hand and scrolling through netflix. 

“anything’s fine me,” you responded, leaning your head on your best friend's shoulder. 

a smile spread on your face simply enjoying the moment, you didn’t have many friends, but you’d trade the world for your friendship with jennie. you two had been friends since middle school when she defended you from a bully. jennie, being the richest and most popular girl in school, had easily stopped the bullying that was directed towards you. you would forever be grateful for her friendship. she was the person you trusted most. 

you both settled on watching blue jay, reading the description and finding it interesting. by the end of the movie you and jennie were both sobbing into each other's embrace. 

“they should’ve ended up together.“ you sobbed out through tears, a clear frown on your face as you recalled the ending that had just played. 

“she should just break up with her husband!” jennie exclaimed, leaning more into you. 

“let’s just watch my little pony.” you said, in hopes that my little pony would make you feel better. 

“let's watch rainbow rocks! i love that movie you much!” jennie said, already having forgotten about the sadness she felt. the sadness replaced with excitement to watch her favorite movie. 

a smile replaced your frown at how excited she seemed at the idea of watching rainbow rocks. you found her adorable like this, you found jennie’s childish side so endearing. when jennie was around you allowed all the walls you had surrounded yourself with to drop. she was truly your best friend, you genuinely wouldn’t know what to do with yourself if you didn’t have her. 

if only you had been more wary, maybe then things would’ve been different. 

“let's go to bed now, i’m tired.” you whined, burying your head in jennie’s neck. “carry me?” you asked, jutting your bottom lip out in hopes she’d carry you to your bed. 

“fine, only ‘cause you’re cute.” jennie said, easily scooping you up and carrying you upstairs bridal style. 

when she reached the inside of your room, she threw you onto the bed, causing you to yelp. “what if i got hurt?” you pouted.

in response to this, she just pinched your cheek and said ‘well it’s a good thing you didn’t.’ the pout on your face stayed hearing her words. 

jennie jumped on the bed next to you, pulling you closer to her by the waist and burying her face in your neck. “ ‘m tired, les just sleep.” jennie mumbled into your neck. 

you giggled, the ticklish feeling of her talking making you tilt your neck to the side her head resided. not suspecting anything, you slowly felt yourself fall asleep in your closest friends embrace. the thought of jennie ever bringing harm to you never even crossed your mind. that’s why when you woke up in the middle of the night to a stinging pain in your lower region you called for jennie. you called out her name, tears stinging your eyes thinking someone had broken into your house and was now forcing himself onto you. 

when jennie’s voice called back from above you, your eyes widened. “surprised?” her voice echoed in the mostly silent room. you let out a broken sob, it was jennie. the person you trusted most in this world was forcing herself onto you. you shook your head side to side, refusing to believe this tragic reality. 

“no,no,no, it can’t be. my j-jennie’s a g-girl a-and she w-wouldnt.” you brokenly sobbed out. 

jennie’s grip on your hips tightened as her hips that were slamming into yours never stopped. an evil grin spread on her face “sorry baby, but it’s me, your jennie.” following her words, she tugged the metal chain of your bedside lamp, lighting up the room. the dim light was enough for you to see that it was jennie and that she was smiling through your torture. 

“c’mon baby, i know you want it too. just enjoy, let me take care of you.” jennie said, a hand reaching down to your clit and circling it. 

you shook your head side to side. you didn’t want this, you hated her, you hated her for taking your virginity without your permission. but if that was so why were you struggling to hold back your moans. “let me hear those pretty moans.” jennie said, reaching her other hand to your mouth to release your lip from your teeth. you whimpered at this action. 

“see, i knew you wanted this as much as i did. you hear that, you’re so fucking wet, baby. you can deny it all you want but your body’s telling me the truth.” jennie said, her finger on your clit never stopping and successfully distracting you from the pain of her splitting you open. 

“fuck baby, your squeezing my cock so hard.” she grunted out, delivering a blow to your thigh, her red handprint staining your skin. 

you let out a squeak at the impact. her bringing harm to you differing so much from her earlier once again brought tears to your eyes. how could she do this to you, the one person you trusted more than you trusted yourself. “i thought you loved me, i thought you were my friend.” you said, lip wobbling and eyes brimming with tears once again. 

“i am your friend y/n, it’s because i’m your friend that i’m doing this. i’m the only one who can treat you well. i’m doing this because i love you, i cant let anyone else fuck you baby. it’s for your own good.” punctuating each sentence with a grunt, her voice dripping with condescension. 

hearing her words you could only sob harder. where was your jennie that you would watch my little pony with, the jennie that would cook for you, the jennie that would sing to you? you could only wonder. 

“fuck baby, i’ve been waiting for this moment for so long. the moment i saw you, i knew that i had to have you. it was so worth it to wait all those years.” you wondered if she ever actually saw you as a friend, or if it was all just for sex. she only befriended you so that one day she could do this. 

“i-i hate you! I hate you, jennie kim!” you exclaimed through tears, thrashing around trying to push her off you. you knew it was no use, she carried you around regularly. you knew she was much stronger than you. you stopped your thrashing when you felt her hand come down on your face. the sound echoed throughout the room, her thrusting stopping as she grabbed your neck.

she squeezed, blocking your airways. you clawed at her hand around your neck trying to get her to let go. her thrusting started up again, this time harder and faster while choking you. “wanna fucking act up, dumb fucking whore? you really think you can escape? you think you can push me off? dumb fucking bitch.” 

“i-i’ll tell the cops. i’ll t-tell them that you raped me.” you said, her hand still at your neck and squeezing harder with every word that left your mouth. 

“and you think they’ll believe a slut like you? what’re you gonna tell them, the millionaire jennie kim raped you with her big dick? they’ll call you delusional and crazy, no one would believe you over me. you think they’d even believe i have a dick? i’ll drive you to the police station myself after this. i dare you to.” a sense of helplessness washed over you at jennie's words. she was right, she was so influential that many people probably lied about her daily. and to say she had a cock? who would believe you?

you didn’t have anyone other than her, your parents never wanted you. and with jennie, you never thought of the need for other friends. you had no one and she had everyone and everything. you were a nobody and she was somebody. you couldn’t do anything. you could only accept this horrible reality. you stopped fighting against her and just laid limp on the bed. 

“that’s it baby, enjoy it. so many people would kill to be in your place.” jennie’s hand around your neck dropped and she flipped you over, your ass in the air and head in the pillows. 

“fuck baby i’m almost there.” she grunted out, slapping your ass as she went faster. her finger circled your clit as she tried to bring you over the edge too. you hated yourself so much for the moans that slipped past your mouth. you hated this, you wanted to hate what she was doing and her. your body wasn’t aligned with your head though, you body’s response of pushing back into her making her think you wanted her more. 

“fuck, such a slut for my cock. you say you don’t want me yet here you are pushing back into me and moaning. what a slut.” you bit into the pillow trying your best to stop the whine from leaving your throat. why did your body have to have this response?

“g-gonna fucking breed this slutty hole of yours, fill you up with my babies.” your eyes widened at this, a kid would ruin your life. but then again, could your life get any worse than it was right now? 

“p-please jennie, please dont. you know i can't afford an abortion, please jennie, please don't.” you pleaded, you didn't even have insurance. jennie was the only reason you were even able to have a place to stay. 

“baby, even if you somehow had the money for it i would never allow you to get an abortion.” you could only cry out your frustrations, you were ruined, your life was over. 

“f-fuck here it c-comes!” jennie moaned out her voice increasing in pitch as her warm semen flooded your cunt. 

you couldn't help but let yourself unravel as well, the feeling of her warm load in you sending you over the edge along with her. you felt jennies hand caressing your stomach as she smiled into your shoulder. “I can't wait for you to be my cute little pregnant housewife.” your body laid flat on the bed when jennie let go of your hips, your tears soaking the pillow. 

this was your life now. 

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

Okay, I'll continue talking! So as we all know, RC9GN frequently involves characters being turned into rampaging monsters through no real fault of their own. And then there's Evil Julian, who was a whole thing. What I'm saying is, the Ninja cast are not strangers to the idea of people being forced into evil the way Chase was... but I don't think Chase goes around telling people about his tragic backstory unless he's trying to make a point. So, like, do any of them know Chase is technically under the influence of a mind-altering substance? That he didn't want to be like this, he just didn't want his best friend to leave him behind? Under what circumstances might the First Ninja find out? Under what circumstances might Randy find out?

Of course, what happened to Chase is definitely not the same thing as what happens to people under the Sorcerer's influence. For one, it's a lot more permanent. It's pretty clear in Xiaolin Showdown that Chase is too far gone and can't be cured at this point, if he ever could have been. The only way to stop him from ending a haughty, self-centered dragon would be to stop him from drinking the soup to begin with. And he's still himself on some level. As you said, he still has honor, he can still care, he's still capable of independent rational thought. It seems less like possession and more like very targeted (evil) brain damage. At the same time, this does mean it's technically possible for Chase to turn his back on what he's become. He may never be who he was again, but he can still change, as Omi believes he can. Though jury's out if he believes he can change. Anyway, there's a lot of drama to be wrung out of this, especially if the First Ninja realizes he probably would have liked the man Chase used to be.

Also, I'm just saying, the First Ninja denying that he chained up his evil husband to stop Chase from hurting people while he searches for a cure to the curse that makes Chase evil would be very funny.

OKAY OW HANG ON LISTEN The idea of First deciding to chain up Chase not just because he is an evil menace, but also in order to find a cure for his transformation, hit me so unexpectedly hard in the feels, like FR DUDE???? OW???

(Even if it is a bit of funny mental image AND the wording 'targeted evil brain damage' made me snort so hard, oh my god im so sorry.)

There is an argument/theory about how technically Chase doesn't need to constantly drink the Soup (based on how in alternative future, captured by Jack, Chase didn't drink it in captivity, and as soon as he was released he was kinda bordering on 'feral' lizard mode - Soup helps him keep in control AND keep ahold of his human form, rather that he is absolutely dependant on it), but he does it because he is, well, basically addicted to it.

SO it would be more of First chaining his Evil Brain Damaged Addict of (totally not a) Husband in order for to find a most likely nonexisting cure to his cursed (????) transformation. The ANGST POTENTIAL of it.

And your first points are so interesting and absolutely valid! Chase's situation can be compared to Stank-ification, but you know what would make an even more interesting comparison? The Sorcerer himself.

I think we often forget that technically, Sorcerer situation is him being separated from his humanity and twisted into an immortal monster by Chaos Pearls, because he - as the Peddler - made one decision, one mistake, after being seduced by power greater than him. Sounds familiar doesn't it?

Of course there are a few key differences here:

Sorcerer is literally separated with his human self (soul perhaps??) that is trapped in Land of Shadows, while Chase's humanity seems to have been surpressed and/or muted by his Draconic Self. (or perhaps stolen with his soul by Hannibal, which is a popular theory about how exactly Roy Bean/Soup turned Chase.)

Chase's change is permanent. While Sorcerer situation is possible to fix - it literally happens in the finale.

BUT!!! no one actually knew it was possible to fix before. At least no one gave any indication that it was a known fact about Sorcerer's humanity still existing somewhere in Chaos Realm/Land of Shadows.

I'm pretty sure First/Norisu Clan believed that the Sorcerer was a human changed and twisted into an immortal by chaos. Impossible to kill and impossible to return to normal - that's why he was imprisoned. To keep him contained.

I mean, couldn't First Ninja, after capturing The Sorcerer, try to get his human self from the Land of Shadows himself, if he knew? After all he had access to a Chaos Ball! But he didn't know there was anything to be recovered, that the Sorcerer could be actually unmade just by reuniting him with his human half.

(At least thats my personal HC, but im pretty sure the canon show just retconned/fumbled a bit the whole Sorcerer resolution lol.)

SO just imagine. First learns about Chase's past. And he is freaking aghast. Here is another twisted by evil, but while he and his brothers failed to save those changed that they first encountered (the 'killed first stanked monsters' theory tie in!), they managed to save those that came after. And if First could, he would have tried to save The Sorcerer, no matter how much he hates him. But... Chase is different. There is still something of humanity left in him. Perhaps he can save Chase.

And from Chase's pov? He sees how Ninja saved Stanked people, and he doesn't even consider those situations as similar to his. Sure, people are turned into monsters, but he was turned into a monster by his own choice, there is nothing to save him from. (Isn't there?)

But he watches as First releases those people from the clutches of chaos, watches as he tries so hard to save them... And maybe it makes him yearn, that someone tried just a little bit harder to save the 'him' before he made that choice.

And if First cages Chase and says: "I want to help you. To Cure you." It will certainly enrage Chase - because who does this man think he is, tryin to contain and cure THE Heylin Prince of Darkness, like he is some halpless trapped commoner??? He came to be long before this man's Clan existed and he will be there long after this man will become dust.

But also... maybe deep deep deep inside, Chase is... confused? and pleased? - that someone like Fist Ninja grew to care enough for him to try and save him, even if there is nothing to be saved.

So they would be at this standstill, where First is trying to help a cause that isnt quite possible to fix, and Chase is... well, being Chase.

But, yeah, certainly another amazing thought process from you Anon <3, I've been trying to answer this ask for so long, because every time i start to write i get overcome with emotions about those scenarios like...damn. It's funny, but also the possible drama of all of this... hnnnfgggg

[starzzmissthesun]

i think you should totally drop whatever hc/ideas you have lying around honestly...i would love to see more into ur brain...pls <33

:DD

Hi!!!! Sorry this is a little late, I got so distracted with an animatic im working on(😈) and then a stupid essay😭😭 being honest rn... Almost all of what I've been thinking about is my fic.. 😔

But!! I can still go a little into that without spoilers. I've finally figured out The Perfect ending for this story that I feel fits with the overarching themes I wanted to tell. I've been making sure that every little detail fits with the themes I wanted to show, I wanted it to overlap Regulus and barty's characters and their overarching themes with PD. I also didn't want to just replicate PD cause I feel like that doesnt have the depth or commentary I want to out into it. Idk ive always thought it's super fun to put everything as some sort of symbol or metaphor or foreshadowing. I'm like literally so close to being done drafting and then I can actually talk about it a little more😭

Anyways! I've also been thinking about barty post regs death 😔(when am I not) But more specifically how every memory he had would almost be tainted, everything now would have an air of questioning and unsureness. Even memories where Regulus isn't there, just wondering where was he? What was he thinking? Am I remembering this right? What could've I changed? What was the domino that caused all of this to happen? Eventually finding it hard to accept the way it really was, having the "I guess it was" and feeling it, but overintellectualizing it. His logic and reasoning is his downfall in this situation, that's what makes him go crazy. (Side note I NEED to make a little post about his intersection between intelligence and madness) Hes doing a complicated version of when there's a task that seems so simple that you think it's a trick, but it's not, it's just that. What happened with Regulus was just that.

Also, I've recently self reflected and realized that a lot of my barty characterization is similar to how I think of Leonard Cohen's art(who I LOVE LOVE LOVE) Idk if you've listened to him or read any of his work, but I HIGHLY suggest it, it's perfect for fall. Anyways, a lot of his songs and poems carry themes of having a twisted self image, not completely self deprication though it may seem, but something else. It's closer to understanding and knowing that you are. Different. And unconventional. It's an uncomfortablility he has with himself. Being soemthig twisted from what you should've been. A lot of his stuff is also to do with tragically losing someone, out of their own choice, and still feeling very loyal yet bitter. Also of loving something so much that it turns dark, or it goes too quick, it spirals. Also his love songs are very barty's perspective on bartylus to me. And like, obvious war mentions. I could give some specific recs similar to barty or them if you'd like.

Another thing is of Regulus and his relationship with his dad. Though I see it completely reasonable if his dad was just kind of, not there and neglectful, it could give very interesting implications to his character, I like it the other way around. Orion seeing what a more carefree attempt at raising a child does and keeping Regulus even closer than he did before. I think Orion always liked Regulus more, despite him being the second, because he was a model son. I don't think he wanted this life or even to have kids, so Regulus being so complacent and in line with what he was supposed to be as a pure blood made him the decided favourite(as much as he could have one). He was always keeping a close eye on Regulus and he could feel it, but he didn't do anything out of place anyways. Orion could tell when he was even thinking something he wasn't supposed to. I believe that, no matter how much she tried, walpurga was too caught in her own head about her duty as a mother to see S+R as anything other than Her Kids, as property that she was supposed to care for and tend to, she obviously loved them, but couldn't see through them. But Orion was there around every corner looking through regulus' eyes into his soul to search for any thing out of his perfect kid.

Anyways.... That's all I can think of rn😭 but if you have questions about ANY of them lmk!!! I love yapping about my little thoughts 😁😁

[thornsent]

Especially the ending, and the way it makes me feel.

I first played this game when I was around 9 years old after negligent parenting led me down an internet rabbit hole with this game on the other end. To say it was influential is an understatement, but this isn't about how this game changed my life so I'll save that. The first time I played it wasn't even in English.

I had to teach myself how to change the locale of my family computer to Japan and learn some other skills just for it to run, and then, I used way too much ink printing out a full walkthrough someone had written, complete with the ASCII-stylized title screen up top. There were things this guide missed, though, so I supplemented through early Youtube LPs like Loudman, 4chan & uboachan posts, and the fantastic fansite, Madotsuki's Closet, which I'm happy to say is still up today!

Methodically, I planned out my trips into Madotsuki's dreams, noting what effects were nearby which events, and prioritizing the effects needed for navigating. I would play after school, slowly chipping away at effect after effect until I had all of them. And then I sought out every event, and even broke open the game in RPG 2k3 just to make sure I wasn't missing anything.

I wasn't. I'd gotten every effect, seen every event, explored every world with a fine-toothed comb.

I knew how the game ended before I ever started my own playthrough, but I still had some hope of finding a secret way out that wasn't off the side of her balcony. Even as I walked into the Nexus for the last time. Even as I went through my effects one by one, playing with each one last time before laying them down on the ground. Even as the somber credit music played.

I was, at the time anyway, a young girl with brown hair in braids who was terribly alone and traumatized. I barely had any friends, and rarely left my room. My only escape, like Madotsuki's, was in my head. Speaking as an adult who has gone through some shit, the ending of the game really does feel like a suicide... But perhaps that's not what it is.

I used to think of that sequence as a person nearing their own death going through their things and organizing them to make it "easier" on their loved ones. Reliving the memories, holding that sweater one last time before you let it go for good. I think this interpretation still holds water, but maybe it doesn't have to be like that.

Maybe the dreams were a way for her to work through her past trauma. After all, she's empowered, even in her worst dreams: She can always pinch herself to wake up. If it becomes too much, too scary, or she just gets stuck she can leave.

And think of the other effects! While they clearly show struggles & themes of trauma they are things she chooses to engage with, on her own terms. The player, as Mado, chooses to wear these effects, and often they are necessary tools to navigate her dreams.

So at the end of the game, she's putting away all of these effects because she does not need them anymore. Not because she's really going to die, but because she no longer needs to escape from the real world in her dreams. They've served their purposes. She's explored every inch of the dreamlands. She's processed things, reclaimed things, empowered herself-- It's time to leave the room.

What if Madotsuki's suicide isn't really a suicide? What if the dreamer is just finally waking up?

I'm thinking about Yume Nikki again

[olvitier]

Sorry its so late buf i am in an Edling mood tonight and I will never stop thinking about the idea of how theyre the epitome of right person wrong time.

(obviously in a context of like fandom shenannigans where canon events arent 100% set in stone like edling arent canon but also idc !! they are to me! im ignoring it let me be insane) ANYWAY

Even if they wanted to be together post promised day Ling has all the responsibilities of Xing and his clan and Edward would never hold him back from that for a second. Im of the opinion that brotherhood Edward feels a lot of guilt for wanting love from the people around him particularly those he sees as good (winry, alphonse, etc) especially if hes done things hes perceived as hurting them (maes’ death, the transmutation, etc etc). Which is why I think Edward connects with Ling so well cayse he doesnt carry the weight of a lot if his past mistakes, and then when the stone happens its like goddamn it i roped this guy into my shit again. Like i dont know Edward doesnt really dedicate himself so fully to people outside of winry and ed a lot so its interesting like!!

He cares about a lot of people like the majority of the allied cast and we see him be openly affectionate towards Nina and Hughes pre their deaths but I think Ling is the only person hes ever decided to stick with WITHOUT alphonse? I may be wrong but the whole sure Ill stay with you and trust my brother and Winry to stay safe and follow you around the outskirts of the east for a week till the promised day to protect my new friend is so??? what?? huh???

But anyone my point is post promised day Edward cant really ever see a future with Ling because of all the responsibility Ling holds outside of him and its veyr tragic imo like especially because in a different scenario if Ling didnt have those responsibilities and Edward wasn’t so dedicated to the people around him to a fault of never thinking about his own desires I think they could have the possibility of a future.

Like I have read a lot of fanfiction abiut Ed traveling to Xing and living with him there but?? I realistically cant see him ever doing that just solely because Edward is not the type of person to settle down! like its my one and only criticism of the fma manga is that I cannot see Edward ever being satisfied with a simple life? Like even in Fma 03 which is my favourite interpretation of Edwards character once he gets stranded in our world he learns?? Rocket Science?? For the chance to get back to Amestris but he doesnt really seem to take that goal all that seriously especially considered Alfons ends up getting involved in a lot more aircraft projects than Edward like Edwsrd genuinely enjoys learning!!

Im pretty sure he was the one who dragged Alphonse into Hoenhiems office when they were kids after he left, probably to Al’s reluctance of if they were allowed in there, and started ripping through all of his old books just to learn. Edward never stops and it gets so bad that he never stops to even consider himself constantly worrying about getting his brother back or improving the states of others lives especially when! ya know! the whole country is at stake!!

So in a circumstance post promised day where Ed decides what he wants to do (my personal favourite interpretation is either an alchemical researcher outside of directly performing alchemy, ie revolutionizing the circle matrixes and discovering nee combinations or becoming a professor of some kind) I dont think he would give that up to settle again. And obviously Ling cant exactly up and leave being Emperor unless he decides he doesnt want to, im not the most knowledgable on Lings characterization so I wont speak there but!

They have so much fun together and compliment each other and genuinely care about each other so much but their happiness and fulfillment as people to themselves and others make it so its nearly impossible they would ever realistically end up together and its really doomed and tragic!! idk i think about it a lot.

[hermesgoestojuvie]

remember this one perpollo fic that was just so good. it was a oneshot i think, and i forget the name and i'm going through my bookmarks but i can't seem to find it. (i'll link it if i do! or if anyone remembers the name-)

but i remember it was like, this intense world-building where there literally was a war between the demigods and gods. like they were full on killing the gods and eating(?) i think, their hearts and consuming their essence. and yet some of the gods were, while def at war with the demigods, still careful and caring for their kids, or at least the implication was there, with poseidon not going after percy, and apollo unleashing a plague on the demigds, but tailored so that it would not affect his kids.

and i love that fic, and i LOVE perpollo, but rn im in a very permes mood, so im kinda thinking abt a permes take.

espcially as i just finished reading Lore by Alexandra Bracken, in which descendants of heroes (like the house of odysseus, the house of heracles, the house of theseues, the house of Iason, etc.) have a three day hunger-games like thing called the Agon, where seven (i think it was seven) gods (as a punishment from zeus for trying to overthrow him) get turned mortal and can actually be killed, with the promise that whichever hero kills them, gets to become the new god. of course, to keep it fair, this "new god" can also be killed in the next agon by another hero and have their power taken. i think i remember these gods as poseidon, hermes, dionysus, the twins, athena, and ares. also aphrodite, so maybe it was eight.

(this was tragic for me bc i was attached to WAY TOO MANY (like 4?) of the gods before i even started the book considering my love for pjo lol, and i didnt want to see them go)

but now im just thinking of it, a war, demigods v gods, maybe after the giant war? idk. and its such a complex position for percy bc he hates the gods! he does! but he cares about his father. he cares for hermes. and yet he also cares abt his fellow demogods, his friends, his family. he is loyal to his core, but he is also just very tired.

and then, what do the others think regarding percy anyways? the gods will see him as a weapon no longer in their hands. the demigods see their friend yes, but also the kid who DOES care about his dad and is loyal--the guy who was close to ascending on his own right down there in tartarus before he somehow stopped himself.

like. its so interesting and i do want to do smth with that, but i also have like. three other permes ideas, one of which already has a 13 page incomplete outline written out, and that has actually stumped me on how to continue it for like, the past year and a half, so. who knows if i'll even manage to commit. but im def toying with this, its been on my mind for the past few weeks.

EDIT: found the fic! its here

[connorjared]

there are so many things I could say and back up with my annotations but there are some things I want to say

- connor is an unreliable narrator, but in an interesting way. unlike evan, connor's text is purposely written like he's trying to seem WORSE than he is. that's why I think rereading the book as an adult (especially if you have worked with kids) is so incredibly tragic. it's easier to see every way he was utterly failed both personally and systemically when you are no longer the child being failed personally and systemically

- connor is canonically a victim of the troubled teen industry and says it was BETTER than rehab. this genuinely breaks my heart because you can catch little pieces of CPTSD throughout his text and dialogue—he becomes extremely defensive and assumes evan is "tricking him into looking crazy," he states relief there's no longer anyone "waiting around the corner to catch him or check for red in his eyes" this child was treated like a criminal and the one place he felt safe in was removed when he chose to take the blame for something that he didn't do (see below)

- connor taking the fall for his... situationshipfriend miguel because he knew his parents were rich enough and he was white enough to get a more lenient punishment for WEED (which. the criminalization of that and the stigma is a whole OTHER thing) this haunts me. the act itself is noble, unhealthily self sacrificing, but that's not what gets me. his proclaimed friend not only allows him to do this, but even after connor GOES TO REHAB FOR HIM miguel doesn't tell his own mom the truth, causing her to ban the two of them hanging out and connor LOSES his only safe space right after undergoing rehab that he never even needed

- connor canonically has been put on and off multiple medications , we unfortunately don't know when this started but we DO know it was not in his control. SSRIs take a long time to work and shouldn't be switched quickly even for adults, let alone teenagers, and they ESPECIALLY should not be used as stand-ins for accommodations of a disability. there's far more I could say about other medications this might have been such as an SNRI (which connor has said to have less than favorable opinions of) and this is possibly even MORE concerning

- there has been a BUZZ on tiktok about how zoe was a girl icon for being forced to mourn her "abusive brother" and while they definitely had a toxic sibling dynamic fed by their toxic parental dynamic, the idea the toxicity was one sided is just... wrong. not even subjectively, the narrative WANTS you to know this is wrong, at least in the book. the musical... lets just say, im glad they wrote the book. it doesn't undo the honestly pretty shit messaging of the musical, but it adds context that helps derail claims like the one above that add further stigma to victims of suicide. zoe is verbally degrading to connor in recollections and in the small amount of time we hear her speak about him (though, this does change as her character develops throughout the book and she begins to mourn him properly.) zoe is a glass child. she resents all of the negative attention connor received because she didn't get any attention at all. so, she often sides with larry through the book, who is said to have more or less gotten tired of connor and considered him attention seeking, which would be something INCREDIBLY validating for a glass child to hear. zoe is, unfortunately and ironically, often written with detail but no substance. evan, who I could talk about at length and very angrily, constantly prattles small things he notices about her—but, and im not sure if this is the author's intention or not, she barely gets any true characterization outside of her interactions with others, which strangely almost makes her a side character (which i suppose she is) but there are some core parts of HER identity and her character alone that can be picked up throughout the book and i could go on for hours about that and i will not now but i will

- i didn't even touch on cynthia and larry and their abuse (yes! people can love their children and be abusive) but by god i will. by god

dear evan hansen fandom please interact. if u disagree i will probably point an autism beam at you in the form of a personally crafted video essay on why I am right and you are wrong. I have read this book inside and out

[jennilah]

hi there!

please do share your thoughts on canon vs non canon (TO YOU) scenes from saw if you feel like it

this seems like a fun topic to explore 👁

i was thinking about this all day im gonna hella ramble too much

to reiterate and expand on what i kinda said in that post's tags: im genuinely cautious when it comes to the canonicity of deleted scenes and script changes for most things because, well, things dont get included in the final product for a reason sometimes.

trust me i know about deleted scenes. ive had months of work erased from existence because of deleted scenes. and sometimes it really was for the best

and im equally if not more skeptical of things like.. lore coming from outside sources. if its not in the original media, its questionable. film novelizations, game adaptions, spin-off comics, all that stuff is usually written by some third party with little to no input from the real writers. unless it gets some serious seal of approval and that shit actually gets referenced in the next film, then im like "ok im listening." Otherwise, i shrug it all off as maybe-canon side adventures until contradicted

THAT SAID

sometimessss those nuggets of lore or characterization from deleted scenes/iffy canon off-shoot material are sick af so we just kind of adopt it anyway!!! we all do it!!!

ALSO

FUCKIN. The goddamn Saw franchise makes me insane with the different cuts of each film so we basically choose our favorite canon already. so. its a bit loosey goosey here sometimes

ok first of all i KNOW im gonna forget things so imma just kind of list and describe what i can remember off the top of my head. i dont actually have things like the scripts memorized i only know some moments that get passed around between us little freaks like drugs

like this one

i dont care if this doesnt happen on-screen in Saw IV, it happens in my heart

and this little bit of characterization from all 3 goofballs here despite us not really seeing much of it in the film:

Strahm being a butthead just interrupting Perez and Hoffman having a nice little talk because he hates his ass so much

Hoffman being more of the annoying little flirt that i know he is in my heart

Perez being charmed by him, the two of them having a cute little bonding moment as acquaintances for a moment there, and then STRAHM AGAIN being a butthead

i love them. i LOVE THEM

its very important to me that Perez kind of liked Hoffman. it makes his betrayal hurt so much more

this whole moment. i love this. ough. as much as i loved this scene already, in my head i pretend the scene played out like this....

falls onto his ass

angel of death

my fucking goodness

also, i cant list off everything because theres so much its a little depressing, but there's a lot going on in the Saw 3D script that is tragically cool. they really leaned into Hoffman going off the deep end and i enjoyed that. and how grisly his scar was originally supposed to be, and the symbolism with his declining mental state. and his interactions with Lawrence being a little more fleshed out. its just kind of neat. i think the film would have been a bit stronger if they stuck closer to a few of their earlier ideas

edit: OH MY GOD HOW CAN I FORGET ABOUT DELETED FILMED SCENES LIKE THE ROCKSTAR MOMENT. THAT HAPPENED OK U CANNOT TELL ME OTHERWISE. and amanda is 100% haunted by what she did to Adam

and as for spin-offs that are absolutely not canon, this description of Hoffman from the video game from Tapp's POV is intriguing.

i love annoying and weird colleague Hoffman but i also really enjoy the idea of shy and weird colleague Hoffman.

also, boring cop Hoffman who wont bend the rules? that is so much more interesting than the hashtag brutality moment.

too bad this game is like. well. yknow. not very good. i dont think thats a controversial statement

but you know what IS good?

Saw the Musical

thats canon to me. no notes

[movementsofmylife]

i have like, thoughts and feelings, about this scene with the mom.

i do actually think this kind of relationship, where you're close with your mom but only when she's separated from your dad, is a real thing that exists. it's tragic but also sometimes necessary for the child in that kind of household to keep going. and i also think the mom's lack of knowledge about phum still speaks to how, despite phum saying his mom is kind and wanting to introduce her, he doesn't actually tell her anything about his life. (and clearly neither does fang) so he gets to have some sense of closeness without ever actually being too vulnerable and it's not great but it works for some definition of that word. i would argue that it won't work forever but idk, i've spent decades only sharing part of myself with my parents and it works for all of us, enough. so i kind of get this dynamic, but i do wish it was presented with slightly more nuance in terms of phums emotions than, my mom is kind i want you to meet her, esp bc it seems like peem understood that it wasn't that chill.

and then there's the: mom is kind, maybe dad is too, perhaps you should talk to him bs. bc truly, peem simply wouldn't say that?? and im glad he sort of went back on it at the end but truly no. peem seemed like he had a pretty good idea of what was happening in that household and i think he would have been more likely to tell phum im glad to be here for you because you wanted it but also truly we never have to come here again if that's not your vibe.

this show has been and continues to be so lovely, and this feels just like a little stumble along the way, so im not like actually mad about it. and also it could have been so nice to see someone on screen tell phum, your emotions matter, fuck your neglectful ass parents.

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

what really frustrates me that Vivzepop had these characters (the hazbin hotel cast) for YEARS and never really bothered to actually explain their backgrounds besides little info facts

we know Alastor is a radio host who also a cannibal serial killer but what was his life before that

we know angel and his siblings was in the mafia and angel did drugs but what was the reason for him to be a drag queen besides being a closet gay men

we know husk likes to gamble and was a alcoholic…and that’s really it unless there’s more to his character

we know niftty was a housewife that was obsessed with boys and that’s all we got

we know vaggie was a prostitute that got killed by a guy

AND PEOPLE WAIT FOUR YEARS TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THESE CHARACTERS AND GOT NOTHING 😭😭😭

btw love your blog

TYSM!! Please enjoy a fat nuggets while I go crazy again!

So I’m neurodivergent we know this yes yes Rai you’ve mentioned it at least 4 times this week. Okay good. I am NUTS about specifics. Like. Like this nuts

(This is my collection of lore and data from every piece of Alice in Wonderland media I can get my hands on)

So I must say, not knowing jackshit about these characters backstories is driving me CRAZY.

I cannot believe I have to be like “I hope we learn more about the main cast after 4 years” because I don’t even know if Vivzie is going to touch on it in S2 and thats the only season we have guaranteed so like oh well!

For Alastor I am genuinely shocked we don’t know that much about him but then again they did allude to doing more with him in Season 2 so for that I guess we shall wait and see. For Angel I literally have no idea. My only headcanon I have about his living time is when he was 6 he hated vermicelli because it means “little worms” and he thought that was gross. For the drag thing. We haven’t even seen this guy in drag in the actual show yet and I am frankly pissed but idk where they’d fit that in with what we got so like okay I guess but as for his reasoning I think he either just liked it or yeah its just cause he was a closeted gay man. Husk I again have no clue. We know he was an overlord and then made a contract but that is literally it. I like Husk as a character he seems like a very sweet guy sometimes, but again, Idk anything about him. Nifty is just. Kinda there? Not that every character needs a tragic backstory but like im curious why is she like that. I didn’t even know that shit about Vaggie until I got this ask but that makes me wonder/worry if we’re going to see something in relation to that in the same way we did episode 4. HOPEFULLY not. At least we got the Vaggie angel lore but thats basically it?

I hope for so much in S2 but mostly just give us some fucking context dude. Not even the avid watchers know whats going on and I’m just some dude pirating shit so I sure as hell don’t either 😭

(I REALLY NEED TO GET BETTER AT TAGGING MILDLY.)

[roe-and-memory]

headcanons

hi tumblr ihave like three headcanons to share currently (there will be more soon i just need to see how well theyre taken, do we like headcanons on here??)

(based off of him not having headlights but how i perceive it humanized even though racecars cant have headlights in Real Life) lightning has light sensitivity issues with his vision . he cannot see. the sun is too bright sometimes and if its dark he will trip over one of the floorboards in docs house, no matter how many times hes walked this floor. (hes very prone to tripping Always but it just gets worse when its dark) (he has rips in the knees of every single pair of jeans he owns)

docs old sunglasses have his name lasered into the arm, lightning found them basically untouched in a box in docs garage. he pulls them out and starts using them when its too bright outside and doc has learned to just hand them over whenever lightning shows up like

2. lightning just. doesnt sleep ?? he is 100% an insomniac and his nightmares are to blame. he would rather work himself to exhaustion than willingly sleep at a normal time. cue him spending most nights out in the fields or at the junkyard with mater building things or whatever until mater is the one to be like ok im tired im going to bed and lightning is forced to go back home, climb back through his bedroom window, and stare at the ceiling until he passes out. he hates sleeping because every night, without fail, he has nightmares. vivid nightmares about whatever his brain can think of, and when he does sleep hes basically fighting his sheets for five hours because of these nightmares, and then he wakes up early and goes about his day as if he wasn't at war with literal demons 20 minutes ago.

doc knows about these nightmares, of course he does, he's a light sleeper and lightnings room is just across the hall, he's also completely aware that the kid sneaks out the window every night because, although lightning is quiet around the house, he is not too graceful when hes attempting to climb out the window -- he's fallen into the bush beneath it countless times.

because of this, doc has tried everything to help him with the nightmare issue, from melatonin to getting him to just write down whatever he was dreaming about to show himself it wasnt real, and absolutely none of it worked. in fact, melatonin seemed to make it worse, and doc gave up there.

3. doc wears a silver "wedding" band. he's not married, in fact he's never been interested in having a partner or getting married at all (i dub thee aroace) but when he was younger he was certainly eye candy for girls at the racetrack and they fawned over him like nobodies business. he comes up with the great idea to get a silver ring and lie, he makes up some tragic backstory to tell whenever a woman asks him why he has a ring or who the lucky person is, and it makes them back of pretty quickly. in reality, the ring is made from a small wheel bearing, and smokey made it for him when he asked because he thought it was funny as hell and was like yes sure but pls make it sound ridiculous . and dont ever tell the same story twice. confuse them.

word gets around and he's told multiple different stories so everyone is confused, but if someone questions him he just gives them a Look and they shut up about it.

even after his crash and his inevitable leave from the piston cup and thomasville, along with his change of address, he continued to wear the ring just in case he got recognized or something.. (it was for aesthetic reasons, he loves that ring its just his signature thing now)

ok... thats it for now, is this how things get formatted here??? do we Like this???

[vancemedicibutwhimsical]

hello I would LOVE to just hear you ramble about any rarepairs or ships you like in general hehe, your art is super cute btw!!

WOAH MY GOD!!! THNAN U SO MUCH ☹️☹️☹️ ure SO SWEET !!

Holy Wow okay so i never get to talk about these sillies so here we GO !! Most r mlm or wlw !!

• Lucky/Lefty

This one is So special to my heart and its so silly really, i just think they would look so cute together. Im under the impression that Lefty is a touch younger than Lucky, based on his voice, position in the shop, etc. i like to imagine that Lefty grows up looking up to Lucky for a long time and never knows why hes just about Leftys ‘favorite friend’ when one day he drops his freakin hot dog in shock after realizing that he very much thinks of Lucky when hes not even around, what he might be up to, being mad when he talks to ladies, MUCH, much like someone who has a big fat crush.

He puts it off forever and thinks hes maybe just Going Crazy, takes Pinky on an unsuccessful date, does all these ‘manly’ things that he was taught growing up.

I like to think that there would be a dance at the school, and Lefty doesn’t feel like going with anyone. No one matches up with the feelings he’s been having for his best friend.

Lucky, being his right hand (lol) man, still makes him go because, “theres plenty of broads here who’ll dance with ya”

And when Lefty is spending time out in the lot, instead of inside the gym with everyone else, Lucky comes looking for him. I think he would notice when Lefty is upset or deterred, given his typical upbeat personality.

I think that Lefty would babble about how he hasnt felt right and that he thinks somethings up with him, maybe eating those hotdogs from the gasstation all the time isnt a good idea.

But Lucky gets it.

Nothing big happens, Lucky pulls him in by his shoulder, both boys far more snazzy-looking than they ever did on a regular day. They would take things really slow, so much so that no one even hardly has an inclination that they might be together for a WHILE. It would probably take an observation from Vance, i imagine, being queer himself.

I actually love to imagine that Vance catches Lucky bringing Lefty lunch and cigarettes, and its like that scene in spongebob where spongebob realizes squidward likes krabby patties LMAOOO

I feel like they would have a VERY sweet relationship, very casual around the other greasers, like best friends who are joking about bikes and then they start smooching. They might be more careful in public, especially on their side of town, where some less-than-tasteful opinions are shared on minorities, but they would still be very much proud of their relationship :,3 these r two i could see being highschool sweethearts and being fiances/married in the future.. sighs queerly

• Tad/Parker

OUGH THESE TWO!!!!!! MEIN GOTT!!!

This is a pairing i love because its so sweet, but also so tragic just generally because of their statuses and reputations :((( 💔

I think this interest would start on Parkers end, honestly! He seems very sweet, compared to a lot of the Preps. He is also a hopeless romantic at heart, and always dreams of having someone to take care of and make happy, regardless of gender, really.

I think Parker would notice how he feels about Tad very clearly. He realizes that he’s hoping to spar with Tad more often, urging to his friends that “Tad needs the practice with someone who believes in him!” and they all look at him like. What Do You Mean By That..

And then when Tad comes around with bruises that didn’t originate from their matches, Parker worries. It’s summer, so, the sunglasses on Tad’s head arent exactly unusual for the weather, persay, but unusual for HIM.

Parker knows he can’t exactly beat Mr. Spencer till he sees jesus, so he settles for making Tad comfortable. Parker wears sunglasses, anytime Tad does.

I think that they would be very secretive, considering that their families both want them to grow up, take over companies, and marry a woman, who might or might not be blood related to them. That idea is distasteful to both, of course, so they spend their alone time in the boxing ring, or in Parker’s room at the Harrington house, dreaming of an intertwined life in the City.

Besides, they know they arent the only ones sharing a bed on occasion behind these walls.. (cough theyre all gay)

These two would probably have an exclusive, secret relationship in highschool, break up for college and to maintain their secret, and would end up inevitably meeting again in their adult lives. I like to think that they would try to just have a friendship, but wouldn’t be able to ignore how intimate they used to be with one another.

• Justin/Ted

This one.. euehueheheh

Theyre both so silly looking. Reminds me of “we’re pretty cute for two ugly people” 😭

I think that Justin has a big fat disgusting crush on Ted Thompson. He is REVOLTED and so inlove.

I like to think that Justin possibly played football as a child, or has an interest in it. Maybe this is just because he wants to grow closer to Ted, but i can actually see him wanting to play football on occasion.

He would go to football games, insisting to his friends that he was going to watch the Jocks fail, and to pull pranks, however, no one ever sees him doing…any of that.

Usually, hes perched in the bleachers, eyes trailing a body on the feild as they pound down other players and the rival. He’s kind of obvious, but he will always deny any sight of him pining.

Justin keeps a journal much much like a girl. I dont mean boys dont have journals, but Justins is solely for all his queer thoughts and gossip when Gord is busy and can’t listen to him bitch through a glass of brandy.

This journal has plenty of daydreams of Ted written in it, handwriting messy in the areas where Justin felt particularly embarrassed to feel this way, almost like if he wrote it sloppy enough, it wouldn’t be eligible, therefore, not real!!!

I think being a jock, the school would have Ted put in Art class and shop class, to try and level out his education and make sure it wasn’t all football.

Therefore, Justin and Ted get paired one fateful day for an art project. They have to do portraits of eachother. Both are very ticked about it, but.. maybe moreso ted, than Justin, because he has way too much fun during those couple of days.

He has an excuse to sit with Ted Thompson! And Talk to him!!! Oh me oh my!

And he does just that, he talks his way into sitting with Ted at lunch, and convinces him that they really need to finish this project, considering Ted’s grades are constantly suffering when he isn’t paying nerds to do his work.

Ted is a tough guy, and everyone knows it, its painted on his face. However, when Justin finishes his portrait a day or so later, Ted is stood infront of him, face looking dumb as ever. Because, justin is a great artist. He wishes the kid could have done his highlights with the way he captures him on lead-smudged sketch paper.

And Ted asks to keep it! Justin is extremely stupid in love and obviously accepts, running off to the Harrington house to bury himself in his bed and scream.

I think they would have a rlly cute back and forth non-exclusive thing going on..Justin insists on studying with him to get his grades up, alone, in Ted’s dorm room, of course :3 Ted walks him around sometimes because hes just sure that Justin will run his mouth to someone who would take it way personal, Justin constantly quips that he can handle himself, but never deters the Jock when he comes around to chaperone Vandervelde to his locker.

Ill post Actual headcanons soon but these r kind of the explanation of dynamics and stuff between the relationships :333 THANK U FOR THE ASK!! IVE BEEN YEARNING TO TALK ABOUT RAREPAIRS UGHH

[rubrumacai]

Preface for the sake of my anxiety: I very much hope that me getting excited about this au is exciting for you or at least neutral and not annoying or weird. For in sols and time, my opinion is that it’s pretty obvious that Bonnie can only be shuanshuan (small child). It’s also been established that Siffrin is Yi (player character, the whole dying thing). You’ve made poles to get opinions on the other 3 main party members. Now I’m curious about the major characters outside of the party. (Loop, Euphrasie, The King, Petronille, maybe Claude, maybe Change God+Universe).

For Petronille I would like to put on the table that if Bonnie is Shuanshuan, Nille must also be an apeperson, therefore, the options available are 1. Shennong, 2. Shuanshuan’s parents (dead), or my least favorite, 3. The shaman or guru.

1 has quite interesting comedic value, and 2 has some incredible angst potential if Siffrin is still the one to propose the various Occurrences relating to New Kunlun.

For The King, both of my ideas are ones that overlap with possibilities for other characters, Jiequan could be possible mostly because of the villainous intent, but also the belief that the torture is genuinely a good thing, because The King does think he’s helping. The other is Eigong, also pretty simple reasoning. Eternity + the connection to Yi/Siffrin.

Loop could be Ji, for less of a specific reason and more just vibes. Weird annoying little fella, Knows things, something something immortality. This is of course assuming that the plan isn’t to strictly maintain twohats.

For Euphrasie if you enjoy the Euphrasie is an islander thing (technically confirmed non canon but still an enjoyable au) and also make The King Eigong, there’s also that connection because Goumang was also a student of Eigong (I’m pretty sure).

Other way you could do it is have Euphrasie be Eigong and Claude be Goumang. I’m not sure who else Claude could be if Euphrasie is Goumang.

For the Change God+Universe and their associated religions, they could be something with the two major contrasting ideologies in nine sols. I’m not certain which would be which, or how close that aspect would even translate.

Questions about different aspects:

Who lives?

Full time loops or closer to nine sols with regeneration?

Are you planning a tragic, bittersweet, or happy ending. Or multiple with a branching timeline (leads to next question)

mentioned before, but is loop still a Siffrin who gave up? Couldn’t get a happy ending but helps our Siffrin get there?

Alright this is a lot so I may take a few chunks at a time here...

Starting off, yep! Bonbon is the shuanshuan, obvious choice as the child and even has the added bonus of 'im helping by cooking for everyone' being a shared motivator for both kiddos. If shennong isn't in the defender role (which seems likely with how the polls are going rn) then he is defo the petronille standin, big unc got frozen and shuanshuan ran out of the village just in time to avoid the big freeze.

Some of these roles are still in the air (hence the polls) because I just couldn't nail down which 'combo' I wanted for the main party- a big part of that being Heng and ji's involvements.

Heng is... Gone .... In Canon but the tree connections are strong with her and I could see her making a wish at the tree™ to bring her brother back(so a sort of reverse loop situation, kinda). If she is the mira this complicates things because then it would be more likely that she would be the looper with the trigger centered on her brother...

and ji-while sharing the knowledge and disposition of loop to a degree- has no real connection to yi himself outside of the 'Long awaited death'. Ji would make a great head housemaiden actually (not that I'm using him there). His agelessness would also be a thing to work around- how long was he there? Before the loops?

You were pretty on the mark with the eigong prediction, the 'roots' stabilizing her head would instead flow out like the kings hair and so that imagery of viney hair snaking thought the 'house' would be retained. I toyed with the idea of there being a nebulous 'terror' boss and then eigong being a corrupt head housemaiden of a sort (kind at first, then you realize what's wrong- but at this point no one would believe you type deal) but ultimately decided that'd go way too fast with how yi's logic brain works.

The 'claude bomb" would be the equivalent of the gene eradicator- something goumang crafted up but never finished and requires your usual components to get made, it disables the final boss's attacks every few turns(like jiequans fight). goumang was kinda tough to place but yeah- the 'fellow student/housemaiden' role fits her well and I couldn't see her anywhere else in the game except maybe in town before the gang goes to the 'house'

I am not planning on adapting taoism into the change belief (I don't know nearly enough about tao to adapt it in any way except from the aesthetic in nine sols itself) so it will be pretty standard isat-verse religion going on- with the added bonus of the wishing trees being a little quirky~ and the island being a bit remixed away from the stars theme.

If lady E isn't the Mira then she will take up the head housemaiden role, still polishing that up so not much to say there.

Some of the sadness(mutant) bosses are going to be reskinned into more familiar faces- specifically the floor bosses like the twins( °v° ) and the big ball head.

Seeing as loop is still undecided I can't say for sure the tone of the end arc, but I love me some terrible gorey whump leading to a fluff fest so brace yourself accordingly. There will be death- but in the 'only the king dies and all of those gruesome things we saw were in the past loops so they can't hurt us" way. There will be a Bonnie act 4 equivalent so fair warning for that, but a lot of the self loathing will be toned down in favor of frustration for yi as the protag.

If I can't put jiequan anywhere main role wose maybe I'll put him as an optional boss or sm shit, or he's that dude with the "totally awesome secret book" with the key in it- I will put him somewhere!

Thanks for showing interest in this silly au, I'm very excited to peice this thing together!

[bravelittleocelot]

Honestly I wanna ramble some more cuz I'm so excited for vengeance and I heard love in paradise and gods games again, and I just,,,,,, I don't think I've actually rambled about my interpretation of love in paradise much outside of calling out the racism im noticing,,, so I'm going to do that now and then I'll stop posting for a bit cuz I need to lmao

this got long so I'm putting it under a cut, last chance to not read this. if you just want to argue with me about it just scroll by or block me. I'm not here to change anyones mind or argue I just want to talk about how I interpret the songs. Please don't bring up how you think she raped him on this post.

I think that both Calypso and Ody went through those seven years literally like, that bus meme LMAO. But I still think they developed in really interesting ways too (for better and worse). like,,, when we first meet Her we meet this goddess who has no idea how to exist with another person, she dismisses everything Ody says, she seems to view him closer to a pet than anything else (one way to interpret why she does this is because up until now she's had animals and inanimate objects to keep her company? If what I'm gathering from not sorry for loving you is right she was just fuckin left there) but by the end of the song she's pleading for him to listen to her. She's calling him Ody - he doesn't tell her his name in the start of the song (and as much as I like the theory that he repeats the things his friends have said to him in his sleep, I prefer the idea he did introduce himself at some point) and I think it really does feel like she's listening to what he's saying but she has no idea how to handle it. Like, even if we do use the "she still sees him as a pet" interpretation, your pet becomes suicidal, wtf are you gonna do? If my cat went to a cliff and started screaming about me not knowing what he's done and gone through I wouldn't know what the fuck to say either. I don't think she's trying to seduce him off the cliff (and I think it's super weird people make it out that's what happens!) I think she's literally on her knees begging the only person she's ever known to come back to her so that she can help him,,,, she doesn't help him, obviously, she triggers the fuck out of him but by god she's trying!!! lmfaooo.

....actually I guess Ody is more a golden retriever but you hear me.

Anyway

She's an antagonist for a reason, she literally cannot understand why keeping him captive there is wrong. I still don't think she rapes him, but I do think it took her a long time to understand he has boundaries. and I think "and if I pushed you/ came on too strong" etc in not sorry for loving you shows us, she, still, can't understand why what she did was bad after all this time, she was just trying to love him in the way she wanted to be loved. and that is, honestly, terrifying and heartbreaking all at the same time.

as a side tangent, Because we know Jorge loves to use wordplay (look how he used double meanings during Suffering) when she sings "Under my spell, we're stuck in paradise. No one can come or go, my island stays unknown" you can for sure take that to mean "under my Curse, we're stuck here Together", and tbh I feel like that's backed up in what I've heard of Not Sorry For Loving you? She's, for sure trapped him, im not arguing that, but she's stuck there too. I don't have a point here cuz imo it doesn't actually make her anything other than more tragic and more of an antagonist cuz girl you KNOW what it's like to be stuck there, it might be paradise but you said it yourself you're!! stuck!! Jorge uses his words so carefully (at least 98% of the time), she's not just casually saying stuck imo!! Actually maybe I do have a point cuz imo that makes it even more interesting!! Like, no wonder she doesn't want to let him go!! He's the only person she's ever met and probably the only person she ever will meet!! "My island stays unknown"!! Selfishly, there's no fucking way she'd let him go without divine intervention!! Scary!!! UGH I love this, it's so tasty and complicated and!! That makes a good antagonist!!! She's great I love her 10/10 mr jorge this is a GREAT version and I will marry her.

And Ody,,,,,,,

God where do I even begin with Ody. I said before that I think the worst part of this for him was to be reminded of Polites every fucking day for seven years. Because lets be real, she might be Coping but she calls her own prison a paradise, she greeted him with open arms and greets her world with open arms (lmao and he becomes her world.... im not crying much its fine) . And like, there are a few ways to view that last bit of the song cuz she IS repeating things from the people he loved most, he could've been talking in his sleep and she's trying to use familiar phrasing or she could just be, yknow, Like This. and personally I love the idea that Ody was faced with someone who reflected all the pieces of the people he loved back to him, everyone except!! his wife!! She reflects the words of his mom, the strength of Eury, the open arms of Polites.... and my GOD would that be torture on top of being trapped. I said it before, there's three people on that island, Ody, Caly, and the intense!! guilt!! Ody feels!! And she makes it worse!! He's trapped, and he can't even escape the people he failed because she constantly reminds him of them (accidentally but still, constant).

but like he says in not sorry for loving you ( and I do not want to hear a fucking word about Stockholm syndrome this is my post and I'm putting my foot down) he loves her. cuz again, of course he loves her, how could he not love someone who reminds him of all the best parts of the people he loves. It's not romantic, it's not in the way she wants to be loved, It's probably incredibly painful, he for sure also hates her, but they spent seven years together. Seven years of existing together isn't something to sneeze at!! No matter what happened, there had to be Moments. Moments that gave him some sort of peace because otherwise he would've been on that cliff before the year was up.

And speaking of that??? What did he say to her all these years. That's what I want to know. Cuz despite me calling bullshit on sir yaps a lot NOT telling her about what happened to him, can we talk about

You don't know what I've gone through You don't know what I've sacrificed Every comrade I long knew Every friend, I saw them die And all I hear are screams

cuz what if!! she doesn't know!!! what if this whole time he tried to just talk about them like they were still alive or focus in on getting home to his wife and as he lost hope he stopped speaking so much, kept seeing her act like the people he loved, kept watching her try and love him in all the wrong ways, and kept the demons and guilt at bay until he just broke???

Also? again, the pet thing, if we want to go there.... if your golden retriever burst out with "ALL MY FRIENDS DIED" what the fuck would YOU do.... sorry im coping with humour, ANYWAY.

idk like, I just feel like there's so much to unpack here and I hope we DO get a little backstory on their lives together, I want to see people explore this in more ways than what I've seen. Cuz I think he connected to her, I think he understands that she's trapped there too, I don't think this makes it better but I think it enriches the story and it gives them such a cool dynamic.

Anyway this is long enough, it's late and I'm having many thoughts. Again if you don't agree with me that's ok just scroll on, I'm just yelling at the void