#im just some teen on the internet :b

[quartzitess]

Human creation is art.

People like to go on and on about how humans are capable of great evil, but something they fail to recognize is how equally we are of great good.

An example of that, could be art.

But what does it mean to be an artist?

You may say being an artist means being good at art, though this statement is partially true, I'd like to add my 2 cents to this conversation.

Being an artist, means being a creator.

Creation, especially now, is so available, it's everywhere, digital art tools are more available than ever, young artists striving to make more creative pieces, especially now, is so much more common than it ever was before.

But now that so many talented artists are rising to the top, it leaves many to be unmotivated, and other times discouraged to create, in fear of being “bad”

But the thing is, nobody is good from the moment they're out the womb, nobody can create up the top they're heads.

Art may be available, but it is still a skill

A skill that takes time, a skill that takes effort

Nobody is truly talented, we all came from somewhere.

We all started at rock bottom, and we reached to a point, where we could finally call ourselves artists.

You may not think your good because your still at a low point compared to others, but listen to me when I say,

Everyone is an artist at heart, we all made something before with our hands, we all created something with our words, and we all sent a message with our very existence.

us being alive, us having survived, us managing to create, that in it of it self is a miracle, you are an artist just by being you, and being a creator as a whole.

You having had create something from your heart and by your soul is creating art, whatever skill level you are at that is amazing, you are amazing just by creating something by yourself, with or without the tools and help.

Art is the living breathing projection of humans, it's beauty, it's flaws, it's wonders, it's claws, our love, our hate, our rights, our wrongs

And that is art, art is creation, art is good, art is bad, art is us, we are art.

So the next time you think your art is bad, or that you could never call yourself an artist for that fact, just know that your very being, is art, and no matter how bad it seems, you created it, and that makes it art.

Thank you.

[damagedcoda6669]

how did youknow youbhad bpd? what were the main "symptoms" ?? soryif it comes off as personal or uncomfy you dont hsveto answer

(im rlly rlly rlly autistic abt bpd PREPARE 4 AN ENTIRE BIBLE ABT HOW I DISCOVERED I HAD IT)

ive exhibited symptoms of bpd my entire life (it usually starts 2 present in childhood or early adulthood, it comes from childhood abuse/neglect) i only started 2 notice something was wrong in my tweens/early teens, when malachi became my favorite person and every1 was calling me mentally ill and weird and obsessive. ive known my entire life i was neurodivergent (first started therapy at 6 or 7, diagnosed with bipolar + autism + adhd + depression + anxiety RLLY early on) but there was something else that felt wrong 2 me. at that age i didnt rlly know what 2 search 4 or who 2 talk 2, so i just went on google and searched "love disorders" and obsessive love disorder came up (which isnt even in the DSM iirc) and i posted on google plus saying i likely had that and was shot down IMMEDIATELY 4 "self diagnosing" so i didnt revisit it again until a few years later.

after my breakup in 2021 i felt like it hurt WAY MORE than was normal. i stumbled across a video abt bpd during that time period and it resonated with me way 2 much. im impulsive, i have angry outbursts, im constantly suicidal, i self harm, i have extreme mood swings, i dont know who i am and ive always just mirrored other ppl, i dissociate, i have black and white thinking, i view ppl as all good or all bad and i split, i have consistently unstable relationships, i get attached 2 ppl more than i should be, and i have a paralyzing, nauseating fear of abandonment. i have every symptom in the diagnostic criteria.

i brought up the possibility of me having bpd with my mom i think (i had no one else 2 go 2 becuz all of my friends abandoned me and my parents took away my internet access) and i was shot down again, with my mom saying the CLASSIC "(insert family member) has bpd and shes crazy. ur normal. stop pretending theres something wrong with u. if u had bpd u'd be vindictive and petty and evil. do u think ur those things?"

once i figured out how 2 get my internet access back, maryland dude forced the bpd label on2 me becuz he wanted 2 explain my "abusive" behaviors (he was abusing me but tried 2 gaslight me in2 thinking i had a victim complex and that it was the other way around) and i became uncomfortable with the label becuz he made it seem like if i had bpd then i was a bad person. i continued researching the disorder becuz it still resonated with me even though i was now insecure abt it.

i became comfortable with the label again after he abandoned me, and i brought it up with my therapist. my therapist would HEAVILY DENY that i had bpd, telling me that "if u had bpd u would be attempting suicide 4 attention" "u fit the diagnostic criteria but ur autistic so all of ur symptoms can just be attributed 2 autism srry" "ive had clients with bpd and if u were like them u wouldve had an outburst in my office and be yelling at me by now" and she would even smile at me whenever i brought up my bpd becuz she thought it was funny that i thought i had it, i think. the first time i brought it up with her she told me "its rlly irresponsible 2 self diagnose after reading liek two articles online abt some extreme disorder becuz u think ur broken. ur not broken. dont self diagnose with bpd" and i had to EXPLAIN 2 HER that i wasnt self diagnosing and that id researched it in depth 4 years actually and that she was making assumptions. horribly ableist towards ppl with cluster b disorders, this is a MASSIVE RED FLAG but i didnt switch therapists becuz i was still living with my parents at this point and i felt out of control in every aspect of my life 4 this reason, i didnt even see switching therapists as an option.

then in 2023, while i was homeless, i got evaulated by a psychiatrist. i discussed my bpd with him and finally got diagnosed. i told my therapist i was diagnosed with bpd and she said something like "well im not always gonna be able 2 catch everything" BUT I WAS TELLING U ABT MY BPD 4 MONTHS!!!!! so glad i dont have that therapist anymore but now i dont have one at all, so liek.. hrmmm >:c

im gonna end this by saying.. self diagnosis is valid!!! its so hard 2 get a bpd diagnosis becuz its so demonized and stigmatized, that even those in the mental health system r ableist towards the disorder and those who have it. diagnosis is not always an option with disorders like bpd, and thats so frustrating. its so hard 2 find help becuz every1 thinks ur crazy. but ur not crazy!!! i love all my fellow bpders, i know how agonizing and it is 2 live this tormented life. if u suspect u have bpd, the bpd community welcomes u and supports u!!! and i do 2 :3

[crushedsweets]

WWHAT WUD THE CREEPS DO 4 HALLOWEEN I MUST KNOW

anon... yes i like this. general disclaimer this is tailored to my au !! stuff under cut

toby likes it, thinks its fun and stuff. he's not the type to dress up beyond like, maybe a jacket and a mask or whatever, but he'll go and buy(steal) stupid ass halloween decorations from spirit or the dollar store. there r several mini skeletons sitting around his cabin. he treats it like elf on the shelf, but. . . skeletons... def will sit around and watch scary movies with a bag of halloween candy . totally carves pumpkins with whoever will do it with him

tim wouldnt really want to do much cuz he's just tired, but he probably would put out a small little pumpkin and bowl of candy outside his door. he's in an apartment so he doesnt really get trick or treaters. will prob buy some candy after halloween so its on sale

brians so annoying omfg(lovingly) he'd buy a fake arm, blood, and wig and stick it in his trunk so it looks like an arm is sticking out. yall know what im talking about. him and tim share an apartment so he'd prob try to actually put something simple around it, like some plastic pumpkins, but nothing really big. he is also a grown man with no kids, so he doesnt find himself going all out for these things

natalie. ok i recently made it where she's either already a tattoo artist, or learning to be a tattoo artist or whatever, but i could see her and some coworkers setting up the shop all halloweeny. she's so fucking tall that they'd just call her over for all the spider web stuff. she thinks its fun and she likes halloween a lot so it's cool. she'd get a huge kick out of doing halloween tattoos during october too. goes and hangs out with toby/nina for it

nina goes to parties . she HAS to get a whole new costume for every party. its super wasteful but she doesnt care all that matters is shes sexy. every year without fail she is a sexy gothic vampire for one of the parties. she works at hot topic, BUT she'd absofuckinglutely get a second job at spirit halloween for october. she's a creepy galll... def sets her apartment up super cutely, brings toby and nat over so they can carve pumpkins with her, tries to dress them up, etc. tons of halloween posts on her social medias too LOL shes so cute

jeff would prob also go to more like... weirder ( ?) parties with creeps and scary people roaming around just doing crazy shit. warehouse shit. prob finds someone to bring home and kill. he thinks its fun, its easier to just go about his days looking the way he does, he loves scaring the fucking shit out of people. doesnt decorate or wear costumes though, says its cringe LMFAO. hates how hyped nina is about it

jane and mary would totally decorate, but in a much more.. ? elegant ? way. like those tall skinny candles, swap out their doormat for something halloween themed, really nicely done pumpkins for some reason. jane would want to host a cute little halloween dinner for uni friends. probably just gets simple costumes, like she'd put on a witch hat and black dress and thats all, but its cute. takes sally (and ben, if sally asks him to come) trick or treating.

sally draws tons of drawings, loves disney halloween marathons, paints on pumpkins(doesnt like the smell of gutting them), etc. she'd decorate with jane cuz she lives w her. she loves it so much but she still gets scared of the animatronic things at stores and stuff LOL. begs ben to trick or treat w her. really embarrassing for ben

ben wouldnt do much besides like. he'd get worse w his internet trolling (scaring the fucking shit out of teens on the internet), start doing more actual hauntings bc nobody will believe his victims during october which means slender wont find out he's doing it. he would not want to go trick or treating..but he'd go with sally with a pillow case and he'd try to awkwardly stand further back but the ppl at the door would always b like 'aw dont be shy come here!' LOL

jack doesnt celebrate it, his family didnt really celebrate it much when he was human so he doesnt do it now. he does get kinda sad during holiday season though, cuz of obvious reasons, but halloween isnt the strongest Pain for him

liu is so fucking miserable theres no way. jk he'd set out like, some pumpkins and maybe get one of those lights that project ghosts onto his garage, but he wouldnt want to go all out or do anything to the inside of his house. jeff really liked halloween when he was younger so its kinda like ouch but he's getting overit. i guess. . .

kate doesnt..celebrate anything........ but when she does occasionally visit the cabin, maybe for food or a shower, and she sees toby decorated, she'd be happy to see it. she's kinda unsettling to be around, but she'd sit down and watch a movie with him in silence. then bring a massive bag of candy to the mine w her w/o telling toby. he just had to cope

ann and lulu dont do anything in the hospital. they dont really have any concept of time........... or the resources to decorate... and they dont get any trick or treaters... cuz theyre...stuck in an abandoned hospital in the woods . . . yeah..

ty for ask anoni like this one. very simple but very sweet

[pumpkinsy0]

twttin characters (and rusty james from rumble fish lol) in my early 2000s au :3

cathy: im gonna tell yall RIGHT now, she goes by “cat”, i cannot explain it to u but she just DOES to me, nobody rlly knows her as cathy shes just,,,cat, shes that kind of girl that always has a camera in her hand just taking pics of whatever and she posts it on flickr, she loves photography, shes always wearing those milkmaid tops or big sweaters with bell bottom jeans, and her hair is short, think of those teen movies w that “down to earth pretty chill w her walkman” girl and thats her, she was prolly watching those mlp tribute vids on her family computer, she thinks its cute, she loves collecting pins n stuff, she loves friends (the show)

m&m: gonna b so honest w u, m&m just seems so timeless to me i dont rlly have much to say for him bc i think he’d act the exact same way no matter the time period, BUT some things i can add is that he really likes the teenage mutant ninja turtles and loves comic books so theres that, hes a bit of a collector of just about anything and so cathy takes pics of his room a lot and post it on flickr so theres that, he’d be in the family computer quite a bit and since in the early 2000s barely any adult knew how to use the computer he was just on there goin crazy in chatrooms on some odd ass forum talking about figurines or somethin, god bless his soul, always has cathy’s walkman and gameboy she never gets to use them but its ok, she lives her bro, he loves pokemon and has a card collection in his binder

mark: he makes fun of ppl who use the internet (in the early 2000s the internet was seen as a more of a niche interest and it was associated with like geeks/nerds n stuff) and video games (cough cough m&m cough), literally all he watches is adult swim if not, he loves wwe, that guy whos always in a skatepark despite never??? skating???? he just has a bit of friends there and hangs out w them a but, BUT he does have a bike he uses as transportation and can actually do some pretty cool tricks like my god i cant even hate, has 1 snapback hat he wears religiously, has a bunch of posters of half naked women on his side of the room

bryon: he has so many things from abercrombie and fitch, hollister, american eagle, hes THAT guy good lord, he would be a bit into basketball, i could see that, watches myv just to be judgey but also bc pretty girls on tv, watches jackass w mark, has a playstation 1 he just NEVER touches, has THE SMALLEST interest in video games like halo and grand theft auto, action movies are his thing, if u wanna see an action movie hes the guy

rusty james: thinks hes sooooo grown for watching adult swim, he and “thinks its for losers”, hes that guy thats into bmx sports, steals a ton of magazines on it, HATES boy bands but is like “if i was in one the girls would LOVE me”

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

Pmd9: Wolf Moon '24: Update;

greetings all i've been taking ttime /offline/ to reflect upon my inner self its been rly helpful i will continue a little longer.. I got into this state ovr the past few months where i felt like i had to fill every empty moment w someone elses thoughts, or beautiful stimulating imagery, any time i was bored or uncomfortable i just wanted to scrooooollllll . . . i started to feel like i was losing mysedf @_@ & losing myself ON purpose, at that

lately i began to long for this feeling i felt as a teen, b4 smartphone was everywhere, when i used to jst have to like. stare at the wall for long periods or look out the window and retreat into contemplation or fantasies to occupy myself. like in the ambient moments of waiting. or if i didntwant to think that day, i wld invent a task for myself , draw, go for a walk, ask my friend to hang out, find stuff to take photos of.. the internet was at it's most fun cus it was reserved for when u had time to be at the computer so it felt like more of a treat instead of being~everything~

it kinda hit me like oh i can pretty easily feel that way again ! just got to sternly banish the phone. And let me tell u it feels reallll niiice....i been playinggg all day long tbh i been having a blast. granted my reality has improved a lot recently so its easier to disconnect, but yea i duno its like dangg things r looking up & i want to b present for this part of my life. :*

its freaky how even holding the phone is so addicting?? does anyone else have that? i have rly restless hands so i noticed them searching for that thingy to hold. like i dont even think usning the internet is That harmful its just better left to computer-moments. i dont plan on ever stopping posting cus i looove posting i just cant b so *online* rn i cant b as engaged w "feeds" im burnt outtt

even after just a few days break i feel my thougts flowing better, a lot more true to me, i remember why i luv working on my stuff :+)

Soo lets see, some stuff i been up tooo ummm: i DEEP CLEANED my room / rearranged for better feng shui, added new pages to my website, work on music every day, yoga every day, started figure drawing class(!!), going strong w herbal tea regiment, joirnalling.. playing acnl evry night ^^ talking to my mom and grandma a lot which has been rly sweet and new for me. oh & pochita's eyes healing up perfect after her surgery a few weeks ago~~

thats pree much all the update i have for now.. tldr need to get serious about making sure my thoughts r my own & keeping grounded in reality. hope everyone having a pleasant full moon's experience tonight ^^ Since its Wolf's Moon maybe try howling at it..

Yours Truly,

-Pink_Moon_Doll_9_Shih_Tzu_9

P.S. today in the wolf moon yoga video i did she talked about how the most successful wolf packs r the packs that r most diverse..a pack where everyone has their own unique skills so they can come together to help each other in any situation. U dont got to b like everyone else, just lean into being the best version on YoU ^^ thought it was a sweet sentiment to contemplate over this moon. <3

[twicethetrouble]

Fun turtle crossover im probably never going to write

Mikey (2003/2012/And Rise) all accidentally end up in an extradimensional group chat.

- How? Mikey 2012 is how (here by known as Mikey)

-You know that episode where he befriends Chris Bradford online? That doesn't happen

- Instead, Donny realizes that social media might not be the best fit for his technologically inept brother and puts him on one of those random chatroom sites with the thought that he couldn't get into too much trouble there.

- He does.

- Let's just say for the sake of this crossover that all Michelangelos have (at least some) mystic energy, even if they don't know it. (rise mikey is f-ing powerful and that rolls over a bit to even non-mystic dimensions)

- And Mikey really wants friends that would understand him. 

- Thus instead of getting paired with randoms within his universe, that bit of mystic makes sure he gets connected with alternates of himself. Specifically Michael-2003 and Angelo-Rise.

- and they just stay connected.

- They don't realize it at first. They just think they're 3 random teens with similar interests 

- (Michael sharing the joys of Silver Sentry comics, while Angelo does the same with Jupiter Jim and Lu Jitsu (not that either Mikey or Michael can find anything on them))

- Then one day, Mikey (having forgotten they didn't know about the turtle mutant thing) sends a funny pic of Raph sleeping with a stuffed animal into the chat.

- The chat blows up.

- Not because they realize they're the same person. No, the three now are just super excited about how there's more turtles in NYC.

- It starts being a new thing with them, sending funny pictures/videos of them or their siblings into the chat. 

- But as the similarities start adding up, they come to realize there's something up. 

- (With maybe a failed meetup to emphasize that they really are in separate dimensions.)

- I just think it would be neat for them to interact throughout their cannon stories to both encourage and worry about each other (and help them get through everything along the way)

(also the idea of them trading advise/skills/ideas is fantastic. Angelo introducing the other two to internet memes, Mikey hearing about either of their villains of the week and giving them silly nicknames, Michael suggesting various pranks for unsuspecting brother. Oh, art trades between the three!? the possibilities are endless.)

(Plus an entire part that's just Donald-Rise borrow Angelo's phone to call out Donny-2012 for being a simp while Don-2003 sits in the chat (b/c Michael handed him the phone like "it's for u") just furiously taking notes on personality differences vs world differences. Which would eventually evolve into just the three Donny’s geeking out over tech and science for the rest of the day until one of their brothers finally ends up begging for their phone back.)

[iliketodecompose]

helloo!!! thank u for tagging me @chinzhillababy >:))))))) just woke up but i am down for some light introspection <3333 tag chains remind me of the internet of my pre-teens.

Rules: fuck ur rules i dont think i know ten people in real life that i could do this w let alone online. do not perceive me

Relationship status: single babeyyyyyy. zero bitches since 2019

Favourite colour: OOO green !! i am like a magpie for green.

Song stuck in my head: colorful by shinee >:3

Last song I listened to: paper plane by girls' generation hehe.

Three fav foods: pasta. can all 3 just b pasta bc im kind of pasta crazy rn. had it for breakfast yesterday for some reason.

Last thing I googled: ao3 lol i wanted to see if the eighth sense was an official fandom tag yet

Dream trip: anywhere w my friends :3 going up into london or just walking around brighton. id love to go to a different country w them too that isn't just our year 8 trip to france where i had a breakdown on an ungodly windy beach and got kicked out of a restaurant.

Anything I want rn: my class today to b cancelled . i lov u english lit but i am tired lol. and its WARM outside. want 2 snooze n go to the beach maybe.

[magnoliamyrrh]

i guess what i really wish more of these pro sex work ppl understood, and then theyd understand why i have all the fury of hell when i speak on this and cannot stand any apologetics and would gladly skin myself alive a thousand times over if it meant this shit was wiped off the face of the earth, is that prostitution "sex work" and pedophilia are impossible to detangle from each other. all the narratives of choice are stupid as fuck anyway, and people dont really care about women, but holy fuck. dude maybe at least child sex slavery should be some sort of wake up call

international studies show the averege age of entering prostitution is as young as 14 year old. nicer estimates place it at 16 - clearly much better. and even if it was 18 (which its not)- sorry but personally at only 22 i see 18 year old girls as teens, more children than adults, moreso girls i feel a responsibility to look out for, not a group id deem appropriate to engage with sexually, and much less a group i think is in any sort of way fit to make the "choice" to handle the horros of street prostitution... fuckin, international studies show on averege at least 70% of prostitutes were molested as children which speaking from personal experience a)predisposes you to be abused by men again b)is deeply traumatizing and normalizes being sexually used by men with no regard to your own good c)makes you potentially crave or be addicted to being abused by men d)makes it absolutely horrid that all these "SeX bUyErS" are raping deeply traumatized and groomed women stuck in a cycle of abuse.... we have seen very obviously when looking at germany for example, after their legalization, both child sex trafficking and child pornography went up massively.... prostitution has always been linked to sex tourism, sex tourism has always been linked to men traveling to countries where the age of concent is lower (like how in romania its 16) (also the whole racial fetishization thing but that's another fucking issue). lets also not forget that often the most searched pornography terms are young, teen, petite, barely legal, and etc etc etc. lets also not forget that grown ass fucking men salivating over girls who turned 18 yesterday isnt empowering, but fucking vile and while maybe not outright "pedophilia" in some cases it sure as fuck is pushing it real damn close .... but lets also not forget that nowadays it is VERY COMMON for these girls to start selling nudes online before they turn 18 as well, or to have been groomed and coerced by men online when they were even too young to sell them (which a lot a lot of our and the younger generations have gone through, this is what happens when you give your children under 10 several private tech devices and unlimited access to the internet - and also when the averege age of first watching porn is now like, 8 years old). and thats to say nothing on how the current "feminist" movement is essentially grooming girls since before they turn 18 to think this shit is empowering

the men who "BuY SeX" contrary to the god forsaken sex work narrative arent buyers, theyre some of the most low, vile, excraments of the earth who, as far as im concerned i wouldn't oppose being butchered slowly. and because of this, it is of absolutely no surprise that many of them are pedophiles. which is why theres so many prostitutes who are children, clearly the men dont give a fuck and more correctly they enjoy it..... thats why, something i hear very very often, is that the children of prostitutes get raped by their ""clients"". because if a mans willing to rape a drugged out half drunk exhausted poor woman traumatized to hell and back whose just trying to survive, they sure as hell wont have any issue raping her daughter either.

like sorry to be blunt. but girls raped since they were 14 for pennies by grown ass men dont suddenly become "sex workers" the day they turn 18. and when so many prostitutes are literal children maybe using the term "sex work" is some kind of derangement. sorry to be blunt but by these standards, we might as well say i was a sex worker, just under 10 years old, ya? we might as well say it. as far as im concerned, it sounds just as fucking grating to the ear

[stillhere197]

Greetings and salutations!!! My name is Ellie and I have been on Tumblr for not that long but i have been loving it. I used to be on TikTok ALL THE TIME, like scrolling for hours. but i have decided to take a break from it. The main reason i want to start posting here is because i feel like i can't always feel my feelings and get out my thoughts to people around me. I want to become a good writer i just dont know how to communicate my plans and thoughts into my writing. Another reason i wanted to start posting here is because i need friends:( yes yes yes i know it sound very sad but its true. I am awful at making friends outside of the internet, so this welcoming to people that need mutuals or a best friend. I am going to list some things about me but i dont really care who wants to be friends with me as long as you actually want to be friends with me and can listen to me ramble:)

Name: Ellie anne-marie(Ik kinda basic)

B-Day: January 17th

Best friend: looking for one:)

Straight or queer: I dont really know...all i can say is i like women and fictional men lol

fav movie: my heart will ALWAYS belong to DPS but right now it is HP:POS

height: 5ft7in or 170.18 cm

scary movies?: I am a HUGE scaredy cat when it comes to scary movies:|

fav tv show: I have SO many i dont think i can list them all right now but here are some; teen wolf, supernatural(big dean girl), Julie and the phantoms, the rookie, etc.

music: Music plays a VERY important role in my life and i dont want to sound like a pickme but i really do love ALL music. Here are some of my favs; Rainbow kitten suprise, talyor swift, childish gambino, zach bryan, harry styles, the neighborhood kids, phoebe bridgers( im listening to her as i write this).

pronouns: i still havent figured that out but right now it is she/her

I really hope this reaches the right people and if you have any questions about me i will definitely answer them.

warning: i am soooo bad at checking my inbox but i do do it( heh i said dodo:D)

Anyway thanks for reading this to the end, have a cookie:D

[becquerelnoir]

honestly i think im just salty b/c while yeah we def need to tag and filer our reader isnert content but also the way people who don't like said content remind me of like, back when i would acutally write and draw my cringy self isnert content and post it?

i like them. i much prefer writing/shipping self insert characters or ocs but even my self inserts are just reader inserts focused on me

but they are very much going the way the mary sue oc has. i don't like sharing my ocs or self inserts as much as I did as a teen/younger adult b/c they were dragged all in like every internet space from online forums to fanfiction and forums. and they were cringy but most of it was something the writer/artist had fun with

and not to mention how your oc or YOU were treated if you shipped your oc/yourself with a character who was in a popular ship (esp a yaoi ship) and so many teenage girls and young adults were made a spectacle of for the sin of 'well this character loves me/my oc.'

and i guess i don't want reader insert writers/artists etc to be treated the way we were?

like yes please, PLEASE tag your reader insert stuff. that both makes it easier for people who want it to find and consume the content but also it, at least on this site, will make the tags cleaner for people who ony want some content without the reader isnert stuff

also ooc STILl isn't bad just b/c he wouldn't say that in canon doesn't mean an artists fantasy needs to be dragged by you. if its not harming anyone then who cares?

also for you reader insert bois and gills, make ocs. ship them. tbh when i got ito homestuck i was shocked at how little ppl at one point did because i remember reading at one point that not doing it was a unwritten rule. but dang if i didn't want to ship ocs with canon. because tis fun. its all fake.

idk this isn't really there for reblogging i'm just rambling. just be kind to each other. stop being a dick over stuipd petty things

and also yes make self isnerts and ocs, reader inserts are fun but listen the POWER you get when you just...make ocs and serlf inserts and use them

i

i should really take my own advice there

[ko-eko-ev-go-ms]

Bc Father’s Day I’m hearing about some shitty fathers, and I’m just reminded of that shitty parents post I made all the way in like freshman year.

Like damn @ everyone with shitty parents literally even fucking I can do better I’ll be your dad/mom my god what the fuck Jesus Christ @ parents try harder for fucks sake

[dhwty-writes]

What are some historical misconceptions, that really annoy you?

Oh man... You know, I’m really curious what caused you to send this message to me (and whatever it was, do it more often). Saddle up, nonny, you’re in for a ride

The short answer is: basically, everything that has to do with the middle ages (I’m a middle ages nerd, this is My Thing). I don’t know how, but somehow people manage to make it more horrible than it was, while simultaneously romanticizing it.

The long answer? Glad you asked! This got kinda long, so I put it under a read more.

So, basically everything that promotes the idea of “dark middle ages” you can cross out as bullshit that scholars from the 16th and 17th century try to sell to you. They are those who first introduced the term Middle Ages, as literal “middling” period between the antiquity they idolised and the enlightened modernity they saw themselves as part of.

So, here’s two things to remember about the middle ages:

1) It was better and worse than you think.

And 2) you’re not thinking of the middle ages, you’re thinking of the Renaissance.

Here, let me show you:

Medieval people were unwashed and dirty. Wrong. There were plenty of bathhouses in the cities and people in the countryside (so, most of them) bathed in rivers. No, they didn’t bathe as often as we do, but they did do so between several times a week-several times a month. Also, if they didn’t have a full bath, they wiped themselves down with a cloth. They also kept their faces and hands clean. The aversion to water began in the 16th century.

Witch hunts. Nope. The large ones are 16th century stuff.

Persecution of Jews. Well, yes. There were a few smaller-scale pogroms. The large ones you’re looking for is the Inquisition. 16th century again.

Knights wore full-body plate armour. Wrong. The full-body armour began emerging in the late 14th century. In the nine centuries before they wore a lot of mail and leather. Plate was worn until the end of the 15th century and even longer in the Americas.

Dainty women had no idea what sex was. That’s so wrong I don’t even know where to begin. First of all, please be aware that those dainty women (AKA members of the high nobility) belonged to the upper 0.1-3% of the populace. 90% of the people were rural peasants, the rest lived in cities. But even in the cities, even in a castle you are constantly surrounded by people or even animals having sex. And most people regardless of their sex, had had sex before marriage, if they didn’t belong to those 0.1-3%, even the women.

Everyone died when they were like 20. No. Just no. The average is mid-forties. In a society with up to 1 in 3 children dying before the age of 7 that average seems high, doesn’t it? We also know that people were considered adolescents well into their twenties. So, basically what that means is: if you made it to 15, you had good chances of making it to 50 as well.

Children were just considered tiny adults. That’s actually something I found not so long ago to be false and I was so happy! Basically, this can be disproven by various facts: first of all, there were laws about when you could marry and get betrothed (7 years for a betrothal and 12 and 14 for marriage for girls and boys respectively). This shows us that there was some sense of “oh, they’re too young to be considered adults”. And the second thing is very obvious: we have toys. So many toys that were obviously played with. You wouldn’t have that if children were just tiny adults.

Last point: Girls were married off repeatedly to men old enough to be their grandfathers. I am so glad that I can say that that is very untrue. I had already mentioned these ages, but still, that’s awfully young. So, let me talk a bit more about this. If you look at the documents you can see that the common people usually married in their late teens/early twenties (when they had finished their apprenticeships). As for the nobility, of course there were exceptions. There are examples when boys and girls would be married even earlier or just on the cusp of reaching the age requirements. But if that was the case, the bride and the groom were usually of the relative same age. And it was customary for brides to live with their own family until they were fourteen at least. If you’re thinking of Margaret Beaufort (who was 13 or 14 at the point of Henry VII’s birth), please consider that that was a) heavily frowned upon and b) during the Renaissance (again).

 Next is something that really annoys me on this site, which is the refusal to believe historians and instead choosing to believe some post on the internet, mostly without sources.

Yes, it’s true that there is sexism/racism/homophobia in academia and especially in history. It’s true that there are a lot of untold stories. And of course I’d prefer the stories about queer people/PoC/women in positions of power to be true. A lot of them even are.

But. BUT. History is part of academia and like with sciences there are a few ground rules. The most important of those is that if you have a thought you need to prove it. And if someone else talked about that topic first, you need to disprove that first.

So, many of these posts floating around that claim that historians are actually hiding the truth from us, should learn to interact with sources. Because so often there might be sources to suggest such things, but they are not unambiguous, or simply not numerous enough to act as proof!

 Thanks for this ask, nonny, I had a blast!

 Sources:

Classen, Albrecht. Handbook of Medieval Culture. De Gruyter, 2015. 3 vols.

Cybulskie, Danièle. Life in Medieval Europe: Fact and Fiction. Pen and Sword Books, 2019.

Spieß, Karl-Heinz. Familie und Verwandtschaft im deutschen Hochadel des Spätmittelalters. 2nd ed., Franz Steiner Verlag, 2015.

[thedreadvampy]

this is kind of a Hot Take (and rlly long) so don't feel pressured to post this

also no one cancel thedreadvampy over posting this ask if she does these are my beliefs and not necessarily hers kthx

I'm honestly really uncertain why people are so militant about aphobia on this site. like obviously aphobes are Not Nice People and it's good to be against their shitty beliefs. But I've been on this site for ~5 years and I have never, in my memory, seen an aphobe (with the few exception of like. literal nazis but their main label isn't aphobe). I have seen a lot of people who were then harassed/cancelled being called aphobes in addition to a lot of other things like (homophobic, racist, abusive, etc) but as far as I bothered to figure out, the label of aphobe came from one specific phrase they used or one post they reblogged (though I can't be bothered to Deep Research so I genuinely don't know on this one).

(I have seen casual acephobia in my own personal life. however, that is not Tumblr.)

I have seen scores of posts along the lines of "aphobes are bad" "aphobes dni" etc etc.

Maybe it's just who I follow, but it seems like there's a lot more anti-aphobe sentiment than aphobes. Which is good! It's the goal! However, I think it's possible that that anti-aphobe sentiment has not become "look how few aphobes there are! yay!" it's "there are hidden aphobes all around us and you have to interrogate everyone to know who to ostracize"

You're a fairly popular figure in the mechs/tma fandoms and the thing about Tumblr is that it hates popular figures. And more than that, you're visible, so a) people will see if you answer a bunch of questions about ace things, and b) you exist in everyone's brains more than little blogs.

to be clear. to be absolutely crystal 100% clear: I am not saying that people got together and went "let's interrogate all the popular blogs so we can pretend theyre acephobic and have fun bullying people," I'm saying it's possible that what was once a positive emotion, "we don't tolerate intolerant people" has possibly, in some people, morphed into a fear that intolerant people are hiding all around them. And frankly, that fear can be understandable (not right, not kind, but understandable), especially if they face hate irl and their only outlet for emotion is tumblr. shit, Tumblr is one of my emotional outlets.

I don't think it's bad to engage with these people in good faith, or to answer questions, but I think it's possible that some of them are coming from the "intolerant people are hiding all around us and must be ferreted out" kind of perspective instead of a "hey I wanna check that this person isn't an intolerant asshole before following/supporting them" or "I want to engage with a person who may be ignorant" (I'm not attempting to imply that you're ignorant). Im not saying "not answer their questions" this is just, like, my opinion. I'm not making a lot of actionable statements here.

that's my whole Hot Take, hopefully I made some kind of sense, I just honestly feel kind of mad on your behalf that you have to go thru an interrogation to be Not Tumblr Cancelled. If people were generally having a nuanced discussion then that would be fine but you've already stated several times that ace/aspec people are valid and deserve love and respect etc etc. which as an aspec person makes me feel that your blog is safe for me, and I don't feel the need to play 20 Questions Are You Sure You Aren't An Aphobe

I don't know how much of this I entirely agree with and I refuse to think

(not about this. just in general. today I refuse to think)

my main response to this is:

a) I think my confusion is I have less than 1500 followers I think I always assumed the You Are Now A Public Figure People Have Opinions On mark had to be higher than that but this appears to have been a totally incorrect assumption

b) I don't feel like. a threat of Cancellation except inasmuch as I don't want Kofi to eventually get any kind of kickback if I turn out to be or people understand me to be a shitty person. I didn't ask for a platform or do anything to deserve it, if I get distressed it's largely just that I don't want to be a shitty person! and I have a whole thing about. I don't ever feel secure in my ability to say I'm NOT being shitty so like if enough people start saying AH RUTH THEDREADVAMPY IS A GARBAGE PERSON I definitely do stay wondering if they're right even if I think my position is morally defensible. like I'm very easy to get into a spiral of I think that's highly defensible but maybe I'm just in denial/trying to cover my ass/self-justifying so I can avoid accountability/etc. like this is a thing and it's why I'm very uncomfortable with absolutism, a lot of my family in my experience have a phenomenal capacity for denial and for rewriting reality into something they Fully Believe despite all the evidence, and so I'm really conscious of the possibility that I'm doing that and I wouldn't. know about it. it's a really really powerful subconscious force and that's been like. a big fear point for me my whole life. that I could be being a cunt and be obviously being a cunt and be so deep in denial that it just doesn't register at all. this is like. the thing I fear most. So I DO want people to tell me if I'm being a dick because the only way I can 100% know I'm not just in denial is if I can trust people to call me in, but I really, really, really struggle with when people say I'm being a dick and I disagree, not because they're harassing me necessarily but just because it really sends me into a spiral of doubting my own ability to be sure about like, anything. at all. it's a whole unreality thing which is, uh, it's MINE to deal with, it's not something I would want to put on other people, but it very much does affect my responses and I didn't mean to write this but hey, no therapy last week and it shows.

oh also c) on reflection I don't agree that there's very little aphobia on Tumblr (although as I've said I'm not ace or aro so my opinion should hold little weight) but I do think that there's a lack of give and take, not just in aphobia stuff but also in general, in these kinds of conversations, like sometimes yeah people are actively hateful but I don't think there's any room for misunderstanding, poor phrasing, or questioning, and I understand that that's coming from a really genuine place of pain and devaluation of aro/ace experiences but I also think people jump straight to assuming active malice very fast, and often explicitly consider "actively not stating an opinion" to be an offence on the level of "actively staying a harmful opinion," which I think is unhelpful. like. we learn by listening, there are times in my life where I would have been lying at the time to agree unconditionally with something like "I think we should believe survivors" (I was a 2000s teen who hung out with 4channers) but I also was conscious of the harm that it would do to publicly debate from the perspective that No We Shouldn't Believe Survivors, so you know I waited and I listened and I thought about it and ultimately I came to a position I could say with my chest. but like. The online social more that you Have to have an opinion and I Have to hear it to prove that you have the Right opinion is. uncomfortable to me to say the least. I don't think it gives you much room to learn and improve, especially given that everything on the internet is permanent and often treated as if it forever reflects your current beliefs. like I have changed my opinions So Much since I was 16 and if someone went back through a tag on my blog to Prove My Bad Opinions they could paint pretty much any picture they wanted with 12 years of changing opinions.

anyway yeah like. no I don't fully agree with this ask but I appreciate the alternate perspective. I also did not mean to write another wall of text I'm just very much In A Brain Hole today and sometimes words Just Happen.

[alexanderpusheen]

i have some feelings about how people treat age (i am thirty for complete transparency) and its ~nuanced~ but not really as nuanced as people think it is? these are my perspectives as a 30 year old survivor and educator. this is kind of rambly and doesnt have a conclusion, i just wanted to get it out of my head.

lets talk maturity like adults, especially those over the age of 21, have enough experience to know that their feelings and mindsets are vastly different than that of someone who is 15, 16, or even 17 or 18. i still remember what it felt like to be 12, i still remember what it felt like to be 15, and i still remember what it felt like to be 17, 20, 25...and honestly i wouldnt go back lmao. im MUCH more mature today than i was then.

the older you are the more life experience you have to know what is and isnt right. you learn how to deal with people simply because youve had more time to do so. in that sense, the older an adult is, the more of an ‘edge’ theyre going to have over a minor. so you can never have an equal relationship because you just know too much. 

on the other hand, i think theres this stigma against older people that goes beyond looking out for childrens well beings and goes right into ageism. i have this theory that most people have no idea what a 30 year old is supposed to look like. most people assume im in my early 20s for a bunch of reasons...either its my looks or my interests or whatever but i think there is this narrative that someone over the age of 30 must be married, popping out children, buying a house, working on their career, and definitely not doing silly things on the internet. 30 year olds are ‘serious.’ ‘mature.’ something that simply does not apply to me as a personality trait, but because time has passed i have to BECOME another person....i dont get that.

in my professional life i have a lot of contact with teenagers. i talk to my teenage students like theyre adults because i dont think theyre idiots. i feel like a lot of my colleagues tend to treat teens like zoo animals rather than taking their jobs seriously. educators are part of a childs education process. we help form who you are, whether we like it or not, so giving you age appropriate responsibilities (within reason, i also hate assigning lots of busywork homework) is part of our job. teens say dumb things because theyre teens but also i remember that once i had a fucking meltdown in english class when i was 14 because i got a B+ on a quiz and said i was going to work at burger king forever and my teacher actually reassured me in her own comedic way. so yeah, i remember being overdramatic and annoying too so i cant be critical of my students for that.

while i think the age dynamic between a teenager and an adult is something to take more seriously than some people online would like to, i also see a lot of full grown adults in their early 20s pretending that anyone over 30 is a corpse. it goes back to what i said about that narrative....30 is not the end of your life. in fact, i felt my life was just beginning once i turned 30. i spent most of my 20s in and out of mental hospitals and in treatment, learning how to function, and towards my late 20s i finally became a teacher and found that it was a fundamentally vital part of my recovery. but the ‘best years of my life’ aka my teen years and early 20s were all spent trapped in abusive relationships and processing trauma. now that im older, i feel i can finally start living.

maybe its because of my experiences but i really resent being told that im old just because im 30. im only five years older than some of these people who are like ‘dni if youre 30+!’.... like you are 25 years old there is no significant age gap or power differential between us??? do you think that once you turn 30 you stop liking anime and become some kind of sexually predatory liability towards....people in their mid to late 20s? 

the reason we talk about age is because adults, all adults, need to respect children and teens at their particular stage of development. i know teenagers hate being told theyre not fully mature yet but you arent fully mature yet. you arent adults. even if you were, you simply dont have that much life experience. its fine not to know everything. and there are people who know more than you who will try to use what they know against you. thats why discussion age dynamics is so important. because childhood developmental stages are a thing really even up until youre in your early 20s (but at that point it doesnt matter AS MUCH because once youre legally an adult you have more legal rights than you do as a child, as sad as that is).

i think a lot of this antagonism against people over 30 is that society generally values youth, which is pretty silly because society also gives children and teens little to no legal recourse. so there is this distinct antagonism there. youth is valuable perhaps BECAUSE of its capacity for exploitation. once youre older, you know better, and thus you cannot be so easily fooled. and thus, as a result, we all believe turning 30 means youre a dried up useless husk, because your buying power isnt as useful. your beauty (if you are a woman) is worthless because only barely legal teens are acceptable in a society that highly values youth....and we should maybe unpack that because thats highly uncomfortable isnt it? your reproductive capacity is worthless because biased scientists have told us that if you have a child over 40 you are GUARANTEED to produce DEFECTIVE CHILDREN!!!! its backed up by SCIENCE!!!! science says older women are useless and shouldnt have children!! even though we live in a world where genetic counseling exists and we can easily navigate those risks...but no, science says. 

the cult of youth is a cult of exploitation of the youth and one that devalues to the point of disposability of older people. and during the pandemic we are really starting to see just how little governments care about older people. in fact, its almost as if they are purposely killing them off...because they arent as important as the youth for some of the above mentioned reasons.

[frillshark-fr]

i feel like im poking a bear sleeping on a wasp nest here but im also a little tired of “share trans dragons to make terfs mad >:)” because

a) this doesn’t actually accomplish anything. not everything has to accomplish anything! but this specifically doesn’t really do... anything, for anybody. nobody is out there frothing at the mouth bc a teenager on tumblr has a pixel dragon that is trans, and i’d really like it if people erased that image of terfs from their mind. terfs are much, much more complicated and insidious than people with some kind of kneejerk reaction to go insane every time something trans comes up, and it does a disservice to how much of a serious, honest-to-god threat they are to trans women specifically. These people cause immeasurable harm in the real world. These people cause real death in the real world. Please, please take that seriously. I know a lot of people on FR and FR tumblr are young, and I know I didn’t totally take that as seriously as I should’ve when I was a teenager; i’m not a trans woman, so I just didn’t ... totally understand the threat, for a while, kind of assumed terfs were an internet-only thing that didn’t affect the real world. But i’ve since realized that’s not true; terfs are real on places that aren’t tumblr and cause real, actual harm. Teens are just inherently kinda bad at risk assessment, and it’s totally normal to underestimate this kind of thing. but it’s not too late to do better. 

b) trans people don’t exist to snub transphobes. please love trans people outside of your hatred for transphobes. i love trans people much much more than I hate transphobes. do not get me wrong: transphobes are so fucking stupid and extremely dangerous to a lot of people I love. I’m not gonna pal around with a transphobe. like, yes, they are comically stupid and we should be laughing at them all the time. We should feel safe with the knowledge that no matter what they say about trans people, they are wrong, laughably so, and trans people are awesome, actually. 

but please spare some time to love trans people outside of making fun of people who don’t. please, please be sharing and making trans dragons when we aren’t talking about transphobes. i love trans dragons, i love trans characters, i love to share those things with other people, and i love to see everyone sharing their trans characters too! but it’d just be nice to see that without a “reminder, people hate you!” tacked onto it.

it’s just... very disheartening to see entire communities only care about trans people when transphobes show up. transphobes wouldn’t be showing up (as much) in the first place if we were really, really explicitly trans on any given day, not just as a reaction to shitbags coming into our community. We especially have to extend support to trans women in times like this; terfs are not just loosely “transphobic”, they are transmisogynistic specifically, and as much as I really struggle to wrap my head around this, personally... I cannot deny that there are terfs who are nonbinary. there are terfs who don’t identify as cis. there are lots of terfs who are not straight; there are terfs who are genuinely lesbians, bisexual, asexual... etc. This is not a problem with cishet communities for cishets to deal with. We have to keep an eye out for transmisogyny even in groups you assume are “safe from that kind of thing”.

i think trans people kick ass. i think trans people deserve to live and express themselves outside of the framework of making other people angry. it is very fun to make terfs mad, because the things that make terfs mad are objectively stupid and therefore hilarious. but it’s just... not helpful, guys. it just makes them double down. terfs fuel themselves through a victim complex, and throwing gasoline on that fire will only make them burn more people. Suffocate them instead. Block them. Report them when necessary. Move on. As tempting as it may be, as deserving as they might feel, don’t send them asks. Don’t send them hate. This isn’t even a “nobody deserves hate uwuwuwuwuwuwuw” call to action, it’s “If you do that, especially if you aren’t trans or specifically transfeminine or a trans woman, you are just throwing a cigarette on a wildfire that will not ultimately hurt you.”

Post about your trans dragons more often. Make even more trans dragons. Trans Dragons Are Good. Trans Dragons Are Not Tools To Make Transphobes Mad, They Should Be Instruments To Make Trans People Happy. pls. Pls,

[unproduciblesmackdown]

hmm here’s me talking about su sort of lmao like i said i’m not here to be particularly scentamentle?? just say funney stories....and some opinions.....it’s really been a hot minute and i haven’t been making Long text posts about things so i can throw one out there even if it’s got no thesis statement

also like i said i just so happened to like, actually watch the first ep on actual tv when it actually premiered....all i super remember knowing about it beforehand was like “oh rebecca sugar getting her own series right on” and i was gonna check it out on that alone and then also i remember before it debuted there was an article about it in the wapo in the sort of “local”-ish section b/c it was like. hey this is based in uh yknow the dmv....delmarva area.....this whole Region.....and i (from nova and in nova at that time, and flipping thru the print wapo every day) was like haha. neat. also god damn it was 2013, hell of a year. i can tell you little about it b/c it was so crappy i just like did not bother much with things like “distinct memories” lmfao. great to have like, a weekly thing towards the end of that hot mess (november??? or smthing??) back when....god........it aired weekly.........anyways yeah i was pleasantly surprised from the start i don’t Get when people are like “can’t watch this in order :/ the first few eps don’t sell it well” like okay speak for yourself god dman....more on that later i’m sure lmfao. hot takes

my brother started watching it too just cuz he’s game for shit that way and i was keeping up with it. like i remember i thought cheeseburger backpack was extra fun and i think i showed him a rerun and i remember he thought it was funny lol the Raft Gag......and when i was watching tiger millionaire i kept For Real Laughing and he came over like what is going on.....and i think he was signed on from there........again pretty fun for it to be this weekly thing. also maybe i’m not here to be Sentamental but i was also like “oh no that Spoke to my feelings unexpected :(” during tiger millionaire when amethyst was all “you can’t let anyone make you feel like garbage” and “i only feel how i wanna feel” like guess who was in the early stages of “my self esteem is so crappy it’s starting to circle around into [trying to increase self esteem]”.........like i said hell of a time. though then that’d be 2014 by then i think?? still a hell of a time

started to get “i think i will draw the same character one million times” about it at some point in 2014 too lmfao......every instance of [me drawing the same shit one million times], which is the only way i ever draw anything, then like, benefits whatever i draw later cuz like. sure get some practice out of it. and even though like, it wasn’t quite as huge an Internet Thing as it was gonna get once i started to draw shit, it was already like, classic-me Kinda Niche to be like “hey gang who is going ham about the bored dumbass teens”....not so niche that there weren’t other people going “yeah i am” at any given time tho. and then we put our hands in the middle and go Yeah!! and jump up hsm style. it was also a great time for something Fun and (easier than marble hornets lol) to draw b/c. it simply was a good time for it.....struggling to draw shit back then even more than is like, usual. oh and also i forget but i had sort of Withdrawn from the mh fanbase b/c it got this whole influx of randos after fjsfdking the Video Game we all know the one and i was like. i am gonna.....sidle over here. nobody Likes to be in a fandom actually lmfao. and i mean even while su was getting to be A Whole Thing i was like. bro i am over here in the Donuts section and it is a little quieter and i use the tag sometimes but i’m all set, thanks. still the least Niche niche i’ve been in probably lmfao....see: the fact that probably still way most of my followers are here from su times even tho idk who’s even active still

also had a high time making some great Long Text Posts. i kind of always fail 2 grasp that even as much as my drawings that stuff leads to me actually getting to interact with people, b/c like, those text posts have me actually saying Words in them, which helps lmfao..........i think it’s like, these posts are probably Not That Fun for most people, but then for the people who Are like “oh sweet this is something that i actually want,” that’s obviously a helpful way to find a kindred spirit lmao.....like hey cool you already know i can’t shut up and am opinionated and obviously a lil much? fantastic let’s do this. plus idk it’s fun to Not Shut Up Actually. like, not the biggest deal. ppl can just Scroll Past. or not

speaking of “getting practice Not Shutting Up and Drawing Shit”.......hilarious when in late 2018 i find myself like. oh so you’re telling me this excellent character who is a self-sabotaging struggling-to-know-how-to-cope-with-shit-and-connect-with-others insecure af Teen is not appreciated / ignored / deemed Awful (and then ignored) by the majority of the fanbase?????? hahaha you don’t say....but No Problem. let me just talk about how this person has Complexity actually and is a lot more sympathetic than not and i hate all of you omg like do we have to do all of this ourselves lmfao........guess so, Fine

what am i talking about funny stories who is this funny to lmfao. okay no but okayyy what an experience when the island adventure preview came out and for like the next 4 days i did not experience depression lmao........i Jumped on the opportunity b/c it was like, early fall i wanna say??? i think sept?? 2014 and i was kinda mulling over going to gmx (which was this convention the Marble Hornets gang kept getting invited to & i’d been 2 twice b4 but missed the previous yr coz it was 2013 and i was way not thriving) and yeah jumped on the “depression / (as much) anxiety who???” superpower to Ask if it was cool if i went to a friend’s wedding in georgia for a weekend. there was no friend’s wedding in georgia. and then i went to gmx AND. ironically (not really im sure. idk what irony means and idc) gmx weekend ended up being the same weekend island adventure actually aired and when i left that morning (gmx being in nashville) my lil bro (getting up for school) was like GO GO and i actually made it in time to catch it in the hotel room but. they didn’t have the channel despite it being listed on the channel guide. i about flipped lmfao but i did see it later that weekend and flipped again. gmx was an a-okay time as well lmao that was the last time i made it

they may have never sold a licensed Lars S1 Green/Purple Snake Tee but look when i have this green racerback with a neat snake print & this necklace of purple quartz crystals and also when i was at gmx i bought this necklace with one (non purple, non actual crystals but plastic shaped like it / glossed) pendant In The Spirit Of It All and it gets compliments. anyways the point is. indirectly representing

speaking of crystals = lars i’d just like to reiterate that i’m always right. like sure i was like “look i don’t know how lars could have Crystal Magic in him but something is up with the fact he’s = pink magic flowers with crystals inside them Means Something.” i think it’s reasonable to Not have predicted he dies and gets revived w/ crystal magic that’s in him now. but that’s still a Win for realizing somethings up....tfw as early as like s2 times i’d be like “well the donuts gotta get involved in the center of adventure at Some point and also i Know it is important that steven is just lars’s rly annoying little brother and y/n do you think lars would die to protect him i think he would...” like. i didn’t wanna be That right :/

tfw me and my brother were watching rose’s scabbard while my mom was napping it out in the armchair and like silently Sharing A Look at the whole “she was beautiful” thing like. lol harold

i still don’t know how much of a Thing(tm) magfest is but as far as i can figure it it’s No Comic Con (like, thank god :| ) but still kind of a thing. anyways i learned of it cuz i saw there was gonna be a couple su panel thingies & i looked it up & we were less than an hour away and so it was like midnight but i ask my brother like hey wanna swing by this thing on this one friday. and he was like Sure. so i made it happen and he was 17 so we had to drag our dad to the bank to Notarize a form that he was allowed to be there accompanied by me. it was a big place and it also took us a while to find Registration or whatever and when we tried getting sandwiches later it cost like $7 each go figure. anyways but we were just there for the one Event & there was a room like filled with arcade games and a bunch of other consoles (also Retro though. like old computers n stuff) and they had Galaga, thank fucking god. we 2 playered that shit and wandered around and also 2 playered a game called toobin, which was funny. real gamers know. 

when we were in the (pretty long) Line to get into the Panel, i actually like. spotted a then-mutual who i (was pretty sure i) recognized from her occasional selfie lol and who i guess had travelled all the way from the west coast for the weekend. when we were actually Seated she happened to be a couple rows back and both of us on the end of the aisle and i asked my brother if he could read her nametag (to verify lol) and i bopped over to have the cringe and fail exchange of “hey do you have a Tumblr” and then i was like “haha i’m milo i’m ummmwine” and she got up to hug me and then i had to scamper back to my seat cuz shit was starting lol

like my life was not changed by this event but we had fun and. the Hilarious story is that it was also partially a Q&A and i had a Q and my brother encouraged me by again whispering “go go” as soon as the first syllable was spoken implying Line up For Questions.....i was in like, the last idk, haaalf dozen or so ppl who made it to the mic? and look i knew i was gonna be asking a niche question that like 3 other people of the hundreds in the room would care about but So What. deal with it gang, let’s have some Variety. but i was still nervous. and when i’m nervous, i a) Have A Script and b) get even chattier. and right after the person Right In Front Of Me got their answer, i guess it was noticed that it was getting down to the wire so they were like “haha okay lightning round :)” and i was like NO.......GOD..........lmfao like too late im sorry i Can’t make it lightning round. i was muy anxious.....just that, again, hundreds of people there, i have the floor, nobody’s gonna Like my quastion......and they didn’t know the answer (which i figured was v possible lol) so i was like oh no sklfjd hope this entire room doesn’t hate me. i mean of course i didn’t care if they did too much but, Nerves....also im valid, but were the like half dozen people who asked prior to me about shit that would CLEARLY be too spoilery to answer valid????? no lmfao. cmon. that’s what’s Really cringe

well here we ffw a bit b/c Mid To Late 2015 is certainly a time for me and it doesn’t really make for an interesting story so just to tldr it lmao like, got some beautiful moral support from someone as i was makin a Lifestyle Change lol and continued to get beautiful moral support from that same person and i continue to benefit from it....You know who you are!!!! tyvvm....and it occurred to me that the reason i am where i physically am is via someone i met thru su-posting.......which is true of the You Know who you are person too, which is why i brought it up lmao

uhh god not as many Stories after that lol.....def got to engage in “i’m ___ i’m gonna [draw the same character i always draw] so i won’t be so ___” during interesting times lol. love that for me

tbh the uh. Wanted arc was truly one of the best Serial Arcs, just dramatic & solid af and also it’s lars time and for a second i go “god well at least maybe now ppl will acknowledge lars is a gr8 character” and then a second later i go “Oh No they’ll only say he’s a good character *Now*” and that’s exactly what happened lmfao but well we still got as much lars fanart as we ever got outside that couple weeks aftermath... l o l . . . i had to wait One Zillion Years for my little brother to catch up to this b/c. he was watching via hulu i think where like, a full season would come out a good while after the finale. seriously i think it took him almost 2 years. im like dammit lmfao this is What Matters dfslk....fond memories when hulu was free / no login req’d / shit would be available like the day after airing

uhhhHHH crazy how this show muscled through the weird scheduling change where it was like “no weekly eps Only Erratic Hiatuses”......ppl were so foolishly Into the first “5 eps in a row” release and i was like “no i don’t like this” and then a year later i was like “you see. You See.” rip

i think we can even ffw to sutm at that point lol....im like im in this for lars okay lmfao kinda Shrugggg @ things by this point lol like finale shminale. where’s he at. and i really wasn’t paying a world of attention to like, prior-to-release lore n announcements so i was just plunged into this chaos of like sorry???? excuse me?? of all the people in the world sarah stiles?????? lfsdj like noooo don’t show me these tweets lmfao......truly it’s fine i’m being Hilarious but it’s also very real that like, when i see things like “showtime(tm)” or “SHO” or “billions content” i’m just doused with Dread b/c i hate this series lmao i swear to christ. but it’s really Fine lmfao like. i was kinda “eh :/” to “yea this is alright” about the rest of it but spinel was The Highlight lmfao and having $50 to go ham on her animation was great but really the voice acting Made It.....like the entire takeaways was uh the other friends sequence and fuckin uhh this part. fuck it up ms. stiles........hit it out of the park..........cain was the first funny bitch and spinel was the second. that thought just came to me and i will not elaborate. call that a revelation. oh and also it was a relief cuz i was like “i s2g if this Antagonist is like, aquamarine-style annoying af....i will die” but No. spinel is annoying af in another way which is her rights and i don’t want to die about it lmfao. she’s good.......i don’t even resent the “how come whenever some rando shows up ready to literally kill everyone for no good reason, all of you are ready to be like ‘wow an icon’ and we can’t have 10% of that energy for the teen who’s kinda bitchy b/c he’s annoyed by life and crap???” thing b/c i mean, she had her whole Arc all at once and also is good enough for it i think. the nadir was when the one rando shows up for like One episode like “i Don’t want to kill everyone :3 syke >:)” and for some reason people were like “omg iconic. call them on their ‘don’t kill everyone’ bullshit” like lol i hate you guys

well i like lars’s [last outfit we see him in] and i feel like it only backs up the bi agenda. another epic gamer moment had been when it became a Popular Hc that lars is trans b/c he is lmao. and everyone was all “why is everyone sayign this why would you want him to be trans he sucks” like get good grandma!!!!!!!! it’s too late. well that’s the end of my post. me in 2014 being like “wow way to have something to keep up with b/c now i have to outlive it to get all the dnads content i guess” and here i am. but it’s almost April 2020 so. haha 

hmm what’s a less ominous ending. oh shit another thing that was funny is i was like So about these Skull Plugs featured in this semi-official drawing of lars once and then horror club came out (fun b/c i like horror) and had the skull plugs for Real & they were glow in the dark. that was a big day for me even seeing the promos lmfao. except then i guess it was foreshadowing, so again i end this with Death. don’t we all

wait no lsfdjs What tf was matthew moy talking about “i like your hair.” dude dropping an i-guess cut line on us lmfao. alright alright im done