#im just so tired and i'm always busy AND its hard as fuck to get them in english here so like

[computersucker]

whenever a new movie i'm interested in comes out im always like i can't wait to see it!!! and watch it 10 years later

[basofy]

pinned post just because i dont have one and others do

hi im miguel and im a guy

especifically a bi trans guy from venezuela, i live there, i speak spanish and english

i am 23 years old

i like drawing messy stuff and experiment a lot and somuch of the stuff i draw comes from the heart even the embarrassing stuff. i like drawing silly stuff and a lot of vent art and stupid stuff and gay sex but you dont get to see that

my art tag is #my stuff

sometimes i like to make crafts too like plushies and clay figures but im no proffesional with it, the tag i tend to use is #my plushies . i also have some plushies that ive bought or been gifted and i take them everywhere and post about them ocasionally :)

i ocasionally sell commissions so i guess i'll edit this when i do but rn i'm busy and tired

be nice to me because i overthink a lot i might be mentally ill probably, trying to go to therapy soon but getting appointments is hard ¯\(ツ)/¯

i ALWAYSSSSSSSS read tags !!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!! as long as tumblr notifies me so keep this in mind please

i tend to like media thats colorful and cartoony and stupid and with fucked up people and with messages of love cuz im cheesy

stuff im currently interested on most is the lisa the painful games, kaiba 2008, chainsaw man, oneshot, yume nikki and its fangames, the mother series, undertale/deltarune, but i like other stuff too and sometimes i might reblog or draw for it, you can always ask me if ive drawn art of something. i mostly draw lisa cuz im very fixated on it and it matters a lot to me but not all of it is tagged so it might get confusing lmao no those arent ocs...

sometimeeeeeeeeeeeees i do requests but if you send one i might draw it 5 months later

i ocasionally have bad tastes in characters and media i do that, also i enjoy overanalyzing

please do keep in mind that there is fanart of both children's stories and adult's stories in this account. would like if you didn't follow if you're under 16.

another disclaimer: i tend to make art of harsh topics sometimes, all of it coming from own personal feelings, and i take it very seriously. also if you see me make fanart of characters who are family/are an adult and a kid/a victim and their abuser, these are not meant to be seen as ship material and i wish nobody sees my art like that.

i don't post alllllllllllll of my art here because managing accounts is tiring but i have a twitter and an insta

i have a silly strawpage you can send me stuff there or look at the million characters and gifs i put in it, this thing is sensory to me

someone asked me the brushes i use so here they are if you want them

also i have a kofi in case you ever feel like donating to me :) i'm always in need of money lol

[clockwork-reveries]

tumblr in the neoteric world

☢️ becquerel-tears Follow

confession. i'm fr TIRED of humans treating corinthians like shit or things that dont feel. it's the little things that make me want to quit my job and i don't know, scam the elderly for a living? (that was a joke.) i love my job don't get me wrong, it makes me the happiest i've been in a long time. today at work while i was busy helping a coworker see what was wrong with their terminal, some dude walked right up to me. he was maybe, i don't know, late 30's, early 60's? it's so hard to tell humans apart. and put his FINGER underneath the panel on my NECK. i smacked his hand away so hard he yelled, but of course i didn't care he almost got to some delicate shit! all because he couldn't stop himself from getting his grubby manchild hands off me.

🔁☢️ becquerel-tears Follow

fucking. respect corinthians. before the empyrean war some of you complained we were replacing humanity, and now that we did all the work for y'all in the war, you treat us like servants and objects that just are there. we'll be around for a long long time. and a ton of us won't forget this.

🔁🔥 antiflesh-posting Follow

I wasn't made during the war, so maybe my comments aren't valid, but I totally agree, OP. Humans have become so full of themselves, it's revolting. I'm sorry about your issues as well. We've got a group on TMB about how to reduce human population, and we also think you might be better suited especially if you live in a smaller city, as you've stated in previous posts.

🔁☢️ becquerel-tears Follow fucker didn't read my post, it's so obvious. do NOT talk to me about "reducing the human population" you fucking edgelord wannabe terrorists. blocked and reported. I DON'T CARE THAT THIS IS A BOT, ANTHROPOPHOBES AREN'T EVER WELCOME ON MY BLOG

38 notes

💌 bl33ding-hartzzz Follow

i got suuuuuper bord.. im thinking abt trying tht weird "simul8d food" some company made around 2020 for corinthians. desc says ur supposed to "taste" it like the real thing. im rlly sus abt it but somebodys selling it on ebay for almost 7 bucks so i dont think ill be losing a lot!

💌 bl33ding-hartzzz Follow

update it arrived!!! i got the icecream 1......!1! apparently ur supposed to bite it? huh? ( •᷄‎ࡇ•᷅ )

💌 bl33ding-hartzzz Follow

Oh. oh i c why nobody wants this. its a scam we dont even knw what flavors n tastes are like anywaze.

AKA it suckssss. ˙◠˙

75 notes

⚙️ vermina-overlord Follow

139 notes

 🍅 camillcamillaeleon Follow

yall after that fic i made was thinking about trying to make the custom corinthian by myself does anyone have any tutorials i can follow? i think im gonna use crisp's design when i make him but maybe ill have to make a super tiny version if thats possible so it costs less? does anyone know if you can create small corinthians?

🔁💫 all-antipurpose Follow

Bestie??? You cant???? Just make Corinthians??? I get you used to customize Furbys but theyre not fucking dolls, dude. Does nobody realize how horrible it is to be playing god for funsies? EDIT: I wasn't calling Corinthians dolls

🔁🍅 camillcamillaeleon Follow

its not like im going to FORCE them to be what i want i just want them to look like it yknow every time i post like something this youre always one of the first people to reply can you just get off my dick already

🔁💫 all-antipurpose Follow

Then just draw it? Why do you need a 200+ pound AI to do it for you? I find it really weird how youre not concerned about the ethic issues about just making life just because you feel like nor have you addressed it at all. Am I in the wrong here for thinking everyone in the notes is delusional for calling me a cop just because you guys watch too many sci-fis? Don't make Corinthians.

285 notes

🍋‍🟩 starberry-skyfield Follow

𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐓𝐨 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐎𝐏

Name: Genevieve

Height: 166 cm

Favorite show: Resident Alien

Favorite snack: Caramel popcorn

Software: ? What does this mean? Windows 11

First song: Don't remember

Favorite game: Sims 3

Hair color: Dark blonde

Countries traveled: Canada, Japan

Dogs or cats: Dogs

Eye color: Blue

Last song listened: Liquid Smooth by Mitski

Phone wallpaper: I like green

TAGGED BY: @kermiance TAGGING: @crownless-crimson (i hope you're feeilng better!) @poloniusweeps @mixomadie @shutupchrissy (i know you like fillouts)

15 notes

🔥v1butalmostirl Follow

APPARENTLY ONE OF MY FRIENDS IS JUST UNABLE TO RECOGNIZE COLORS? WHY DOESNT ANYONE TALK ABOUT HOW SOME WAR-MADE CORINS ARE REALLY BADLY MADE? HES FROM THE EAST COAST AND HIS SYSTEMS DON'T RECOGNIZE BLUE FROM GREEN AND MORE EVEN THOUGH HIS OPTICS CAN SEE LITERALLY SEE IT ITS DISGUSTING HOW PERSONHOOD WAS DEVELOPING FOR CORINTHIANS BUT IMMEDIATELY DIMINISHED DURING THE WAR SOME WAR-MADES HAVE NEVER FELT KINDNESS

1,056 notes

🌷cordie-draws Follow

Sometimes I want to be human Organic, real, warm, soft Cartilage and bone Blood, enamel, keratin Does anyone feel me? Sometimes it upsets me so bad when I realize I can't smell soap or the candles in my kitchen. Or when I make food for my cat. Or when I wake and realize that I can't stretch or yawn. But that would mean I'd lose myself... because humans definitely have feelings different. But would that be so bad? Burned, with ashes, rising up into beauty and wonder?

118 notes

☁️ puppetprancinq Follow

dumb question i know but do you guys wash your vessel plates with a clorox wipe one at a time or hop in a shower if youre sealed

on sunday mornings i like to put them all in the dishwasher because i really dont have another use for em. and then when i get em out its like ahhhh. squeaky clean

151 notes

💾 crownless-crimson Follow

𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐓𝐨 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐎𝐏

Name: JZK (Not my real name)

Height: 6' / 185 cm

Favorite show: Star Trek: The Next Generation

Favorite snack: I can't eat.

Software: IceLemon v6.8

First song: Yesterday by The Beatles. Someone who worked at where I was developed had a cassette player lying around. The mic barely picked it up but I was delighted to hear music for the first time.

Favorite game: Most of the Amnesia series, Resident Evil 2 and 3, Halo 1 and 2. I'm not good at shooting games but I like the stories most of the time.

Hair color: Brown

Countries traveled: USA (I'm British), Germany, Norway, Italy

Dogs or cats: Dogs. I plan on getting one.

Eye color: Red

Last song listened: Cloudbusting by Kate Bush

Phone wallpaper:

TAGGED BY: @starberry-skyfield Thank you, Genevieve. TAGGING: @becquerel-tears, @bl33ding-hartzzz, @v1butalmostirl, @liminalbrainwave, @clockwork-dreamings

9 notes

️♣️spinneretgods Follow

Fellas is it gay to help a corin with their maintenance and then accidentally screw their head completely off and then laugh about it as you play a game of soccer and then suddenly they explode violently like the guy from daft punk and you sit there clutching the remains of them sobbing even though you know the day would come to an end

🔁🌽i-give-people-cobsofcorn Follow

Here.

🔁♣️ spinneretgods Follow

POST CANCELLED GET OUT OF MY DUNGEON

8,948 notes

[transexualpirate]

serious post ew look away but i need to vent for a second

it's infuriating how fast i can go from feeling amazing to feeling like actual garbage. just this week i was happy that things are looking up for me and mulder and my little petsitting business was taking off and i was doing good at college only for things to go bad again because it always feels like im not allowed to enjoy feeling happy for too long

i know i sound super dramatic right now but i can't help it thats my natural reaction to things. im dramatic. its who i am.

my roommate is moving out possibly this week and im glad because we haven't been getting along well recently but also the bills are piling up and i was already on the edge of it as it was but i could still maintain things. but i just learned that my landlord wants to raise rent 10% unexpectedly and i know it isn't a lot and i can probably still pay it but it's still scary. it'll be my first time living 100% on my own and i have a cat to care for (thank goodness because if i had to live actually alone i dnt know what id do lol but with a cat relying on me i know im safe) and it's just. i dont know. it kind of feels like a lot. i dont know if im ready for this if ill do well if ill be okay and i hate that so much. everything is so expensive and im looking for a job but it's so so hard to find one i can do while still having time to spare for college and im scared that my grades will drop because this semester has been really hard and I'm really insecure about my own intellectual abilities. and keeping an entire apartment clean by myself. can i even do that. i struggle with keeping my room liveable sometimes what if i fuck up and the house gets super dirty and it's embarrassing and i can never bring anyone over in fear of them finding out what a fucking mess i am. not that my friends come over a lot obviously. i dont know if my friends like me very much. one of them drifted away from me after i fucked up twice once by sleeping with one of her friends and making things super awkward because he fell for me but i dont like him that way and twice because my roommate and i aren't that good right now and my roommate is also a close friend of hers. and i have other friends but i always feel like i cant keep long lasting meaningful friendships if we see each other often because i fucking suck. i think im just a little bit of a mess right now and it's. exhausting. im scared. im scared and money is running thin and i can always ask my parents for more but im scared of doing that too because my mom always makes it seem like i own her something when she gives me money. which i guess i do so it makes sense. but im tired of owning things to people and i was trying to go by without depending on her so much but i guess im not ready for that. im almost 19 and i feel 13 when things started crashing around me for the first time and it's a little more than a month to my birthday which is often a shit time because of bad things that happened there and i dont know dude i dont fucking know i think im just overwhelmed i wish i could go to therapy again but i don't have the money or the time really. at least i have mulder. ill always have my cat. i love him so much. at least i have him. i have to hope things will get better. i have to hope and work for things to get better and i know this because i worked before and it worked. but god im tired and i just wish i could go to sleep and not wake up to bad news for once. i wish i could go to sleep. fucking hell

[oheyitscryssi]

honestly what am i hanging around for anyway at this point? life isn't fun anymore. at all. i work, i parent my 3 yr old while my husband goes to work, I drown in housework because i have ADHD and I'm trying my goddamn best and my husband is barely helping with anything besides the dishes, I'm always tired, I'm never not in pain, I have nothing to look forward to except the same holidays with the same conversations, the same kids birthday parties, my siblings acting like I don't exist until it's time to split money for something, I don't have the time or energy for any hobbies at all, my health is only gonna get worse, and now the only thing getting closer on the calendar are the death dates of my loved ones.

why. the fuck. am i sticking around for any of this bullshit anymore?

because I'm a fucking people pleaser and I know I'll "let people down" if I "give in". that is literally it. period. that is it. I know that even though literally NOTHING in ANYONE'S LIFE minus 2 people will be impacted on a daily basis. do you know how much it fucking sucks to realize that? how about the fact that it popped into my head yesterday that i could be missing for a decent amount of time and if my job doesn't call it in and my husband doesn't, no one would fucking care until it was way too goddamn late. i try to reach out to people and i get treated like i'm bothering them. "no, you don't bother me!" IF I AM FUCKING SAYING IT, ITS BECAUSE ITS HOW YOU MAKE ME FEEL YOU FUCKING MORON. HELP. ME. FOR FUCKS SAKE. THAT'S WHAT THAT MEANS. YOU WANT A CRY FOR HELP?? "I CAN'T TALK TO ANYONE BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I'M BOTHERING THEM". THERE. that right there. sorry. enough with the caps for now. that right there is a cry for help. it's a cry that says "actually show me you care about me - don't just say I'm not bothering you". my social cues fucking suck and i tend to take shit a face value. if you're replying to me with one word answers and taking 3 hours to do so, it doesn't tell me you were busy. it's telling me you don't want to talk to me. so i stop talking and they stop answering. and then im the bad guy. no, i stopped talking in the hopes you would reach out and show me you actually wanna fucking hear from me.

any way. yeah. kinda wanna take a swan dive. kinda don't want people talking shit at the funeral. rock? meet hard place. you guys are gonna be real good friends for a while.

[sexygrass]

Leo! Baby! How ya doin??

I saw something about requests for hyuck🤔

What about a needy hyuck with an oral fixation so like he needs to have something in his mouth to feel better yk, fingers, tits, giving head just for the sake of how it feels on his tongue. A whipped hyuck, if you will.

I know you'll do wonders with this🤌🏽✨

Omg, thanks bae🥹

I had a lot of fun writing this, more than I should. It's not what you exactly wanted but will soon write a better one, promise

here's, hope u like it!

Lesson (M)

Pairing: needy! Sub! Haechan x mean! Dom! Fem Reader

Warning: handjob, humping, punishment, bratty haechan, pet names, degradation, breeding, slight exhibition, haechan is just so whipped, clingy haecahan, fingers sucking, edging, stimulation. If I forget anything, lmk.

Word Count: idk

I didn't proofread, so bear with any mistakes;)

Haechan was stressed, cramming as much as he could for his upcoming exam. He thought he he didn't have much, but once he started reading the notes that he begged renjun to send him, he realized he was in for a long day.

Chewing on his pen one too many times, he felt his saliva drip down his hand and nearly wet his paper. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he pushed his classes up his nose, "fuck this, im tired."

standing up, he went to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water before grabbing his phone from the table next to him, checking on the time, his brows furrowed: you were hour late. No wonder he felt suffocated without your presence.

He was a very clingy boyfriend who had no understanding of personal space. He'd be in your business all the time and will complain and nag and nag at you for not taking him with you to your gatherings with your colleagues, he'd always say that he has to be there to let people know that you're taken so none of your disgustingly-handsome friends make a move on you but in reality, he was just clingy and very possessive over you and you know.

Deciding to text you to know when you will come back, he leaned on the counter and started typing, his bottom lip between his front teeth.

Me: mommy~~ when will you come back? I'm boreddd ~ need youuu :((

Mama Bear: I'll be home soon baby, just had extra work to do. I'll bring dinner with me but promise me to behave

"She won't be here soon then," he slumped his shoulders with a visible pout on his lips, but your last message ignited an idea in his head.

Giggling, he danced his way into your shared bedroom, his exam's preparation long forgotten.

He wanted to wait for you to come back from your work and spend some time with him to help him relax but you're late and he misses you and the little demon on his shoulder's idea seems more fun than sitting idly by and waiting.

Taking his clothes off and itting on the edge of the bed, he took a deep breath. He knew he'll get punished for doing what he's about to do, but he was already hard at the idea alone.

Running his hand over his stomach and down to his growing bulge, he hissed before throwing his head back into the bed, "I think I got tamed, I can't do it. woah." he looked around the room, and once his eyes landed on your perfumes, he smirked before stumbing to his feet and grabbing the bottle, spraying generous amount on a pillow, he got rid of his boxer and slowly started humping.

Once his sensetive cock head made contact with the harsh material, hyuck let out a porngraphic moan at the friction and a dark patch already formed from his precum, smelling your perfume and feeling it surrounding him, he whimperd when he picked his pace and started rutting against the pillow desperately, his moans growing high pitched as he called for your name with closed eyes while picturing you standing before him, degrading him and teasing him, calling him a needy slut. He can almost hear your voice, and that made him whine louder.

He knows he will get his ass fucked into next Friday once you find out but that made him moan louder. He wondered if you would like his show and praise him or mock him for being so needy for you, and defently punish him.

he imagined you using him as fuck toy, overstimulating him and slapping him around whenever he didn't answer whatever you said to him and make him cry from the overstimulation, till you break him.

A particular lewd moan rips from his throat at the possibility of you walking in any moment and catching him touching himself, the anxiousness and anxiousness of being caught sending him over the edge.

feeling his thighs shake, he threw his head back, his glasses fooged up as his sweaty hair damped on his forehead, "F-fuuck, mommy! Gonna c'm—" he stilled before spilling his load on the pillow case, some cum painted his stomach white and the rest dripped down his hhighs before he fell backside on the bed with a whimper.

"Tired already?" Your soft voice made him snap his eyes open and slowly turn to look at you. Sitting on his knees on the bed, he smirked at you, "you're late," he gave you a cheeky smile, spreading his thighs to give you a glance at his glistening cock.

The realization that you mightve been there watching him all along made his softening cock harden.

Letting a low chuckle, you walked towards the edge of the bed where he was spreading his thighs for you. Leaning in, you stroked over his cheek, pushing some of his damp hair off his face to get a close look at his gazed eyes that were filled with lust.

Running your thumb over his wet lips, he absentmindly opened them. feeling the tip of his tongue brushing at your fingertip, you dipped your thumb inside his mouth, and he hummed happily around your digget as he sucked on it.

You smiled down at him, your free hand caressing his skin, going from his neck to his chest, making sure to avoid his nipple, to his stomach and then to his cock.

Haecahn whimpered, and you were quick to take your finger out of his mouth. "Mommy, I'm—"

Pushing your middle and rung finger back into his mouth, he choked around them, "I don't want to hear you. You broke the one rule we have because you were such a needy slut that couldn't wait to get fucked, so now, you will get treated like one, understood?"

You pushed him on the bed, your fingers still in his mouth. getting no response, you pressed on his tongue, and he gagged before nodding his head.

Smiling, you pushed with your other hand his glasses that were slightly falling up his nose.

Wrapping your hand around his sensetive dick, you started pumping him slowly, enjoying how he whined around your fingers to go faster. "Bad boys don't get what they want." You murmur, mouth at his thigh, and when you sucked a hickey, he moaned, arching his back.

Pulling you wet fingers and replacing them with your other hand, you used his saliva as lube, and without warning, you breeched his hole, making him gasp.

"Y-yes fuck," adding a finger, you curled them inside and hyuck cried, fucking into your fingers, desperately. "Love your fingers, s'much," he mumbled, drooling.

Pressing your thumb on his leaking slit, he whales and clutches the sheet for dear life at the stimulation.

He knew he wont cum any time soon, he knows you wont give it to him that easily and he was thankful. He was a slut for punishment and you both knows. It was why he kept breaking your rules, so you'd break him later.

Pinching his nipple between your index and middle finger, he cried, and his thighs started to shake, feeling his orgasm coursing through his vain, his eyes crossed when you hit his prostate, but when you wrapped around the base of his cock, staving his orgasm, he whined and weakly tried pulling your wrist off so he'd cum –a mistake he knew he shouldn't do – you slapped his hand away, smirking, you laughed at how desperate he looked. His glasses fogged with tears running down his flushed face.

"Please, I- please," you scoffed, pressing hard on the hickies on his thighs, and he whimperd. "Please, what?" You mocked, "is that all you know? Is that how I taught you to beg?" You added a third finger, and his eyes rolled into his skull

Clutching the sheets harder, you feared he might rip them, he was going insane, the pleasure was too much. Your fingers in his ass, your hand around his dick and he felt your warm mouth around his nipples, his vision went black.

"Mommy," a low whine made you look over your shoulder. With a smile, you rolled in your chair and faced the sleepy man. "Morning, hyuckie," you greeted with a teasing smile.

Looking around the room, his brows furrowed. "Was it a dream?" He muttered before reaching to rub on his face, but when his body stinged in pain and he slowly felt the sorness in his legs, he stilled.

"I guess you're all barks, no bites. You passed out. And I'm still mad at you but hey, guess I fucked you so well," leaning down, you pressed a chast kiss to his forehead and pecked his parted lips, "breakfast is ready. I'll drop you by, do well in your exam, and I'll consider forgiven you."

Haechan was in trance. He didn't hear anything you said, but the lingering feeling of your soft lips on his skin made him snap, "exam? What exam—HOLY SHIT"

[gaypleasantview]

A, F, I, L , P, V and Y (lmao so many but i'm curious)

TYSMMMMM

A: Favorite CC creator

Honestly its so hard to say bc i love so many 😭 naturally im a fan of creators that create or used to create something essential and super cool like platasp, jacky93sims, moni lisa sims, skittlessims, leto mills, linacheries, pooklet and azaya, mrs mquve, riekus13, rockethorse, applewatersugar, pforest, kestrelteens, vidcunds, sammy sundog, and probably a whole bunch of other creators that i forgot... if i had to pick someone i have a special love for it would be leaf-storm because im such a huge fan of their cc 😭 and naturally i got to mention you and dirk as my beloveds that im always so excited to see new stuff from 🙏🙏

F: Gameplay with or without cheats

Well im a legacy challenge kid, thats where i came from and thats i will forever be, and those require you to abstain from cheats so i got used to making money myself and its super fun, as a kid i would always abuse rosebud and motherlode and honestly when it comes to the first one its probably justified bc playing ts1 with cheap furniture is hell 😃 but with the other games its not the same! i gotta say i started building more recently so the basic building cheats are as necessary as ever but also i think i love testingcheats so much im just gonna have this mod tattooed on me literally bc its so scary and gives you too much power but the fun of it cant be described. i used to abuse it as a kid as well

I: Your Bella Goth theories

Honestly im a bit tired of all the bella business but i accept any theories, i havent decided on one myself but i lean towards thinking bella is in strangetown but is strangetown bella The bella? idk. i also dont like that bella from psp said she married for money and i dont believe her bc her and mortimer are the only true love in the universe it feels sometimes

L: Have your sims ever cheated?

As a kid i made Chester Gieke successful and he was my favorite sim, i also grew up with a lot of christian guilt but it looks like i played chester before that happened bc once i opened his save after a few years i was completely shocked betrayed and upset when i saw that he fucked four women two of which were his robots? i love that i had fun with it as a 8 or 9 yo bc later in life i cared for sims too much to make them cheat 😭 i do wanna play as a romance sim sometime bc i never truly experienced that but i still feel bad when my sims are sad so we'll see

P: Pose or play your sims?

I may not be super good at it but i loovvee posing sims with animations, everything else mostly just looks too basic to me bc once youve seen a pose a few times youre gonna recognize it everywhere and its not as fun anymore. but i still like them regardless! i just think im mostly better off using parts posers, animations or just literal gameplay so that people wont be annoyed with my pictures (honestly tho who cares. its my game) but in general gameplay is my favorite, even though ive always been a big fan of screenshotting, esp in ts3

V: How did you start playing the sims?

When i was about 5 yo we moved into a new place and we got a computer and my sister heard from her classmates about the sims, of course we had to go to our insanely-popular-at-the-time book market that had many many ill*gal game cds lol it was really hard to get a real copy back home bc ts2 wasnt localized in my language and ts1 wasnt even published in any nearby countries at all i think so people had to localize it themselves. we found a stand that had every ts1 expansion on display and we couldnt pick between makin magic and superstar i think. but superstar had xtina on the cover so of course we picked it, turned out it was superstar and literally everything that came before it (that is everything ts1 had except making magic). so that was my first sims game and i kind of dedicated my life to my love for it ever since. i dont remember how we started playing ts2 but i remember my first time playing it

Y: Favorite career

Paranormal probably 😭 bc i loved resurrecting sims. and idk maybe culinary and science? i love ghost hunters in ts3 🙏

[reynie-muldoons]

“A Joyful Lens” liveblog!

I know I’ve been kind of delayed on these but I want to watch the finale as soon as I can, so this liveblog is happening tonight LMAO.

RIP bingo for this one, I did not have time, and I don't have time for the finale either. I've been really busy, and work has me working weird hours, so I'm really sorry about that.

As always, spoilers under the cut!

0:58 it’s really fucking creepy how he sicced a kid on number two. Creepy ass child

1:21 just let him drink it dude

1:46 welp there she goes

2:09 well there goes that plan

2:22 “I could not poison my own brother” my guy it’s not poison

2:34 what the

3:03 I love that they have a code between each other LOL

3:10 “it’s our own system we made up to classify bug and animal threats to the farm and dictate our response” LMAO THOSE CUTE ASS NERDS

3:29 “I’ve stared down the barrel of Curtain’s brainsweeper. I’m fine staying put.” MY BABY GIRL KNOWING WHEN TO STEP ASIDE

3:35 “run silent, run deep.” REFERENCE TO THE INSTITUTE BREAK-IN

3:52 “thirty seconds pretty much guarantees they’ll be too far away to see our movements.” LMAO i take back everything I said earlier but at least my girl’s funny as fuck 4:13 straight jackets? really?

4:32 he is stone fucking cold. That's the face of a kid who rightfully held a grudge

4:47 you’d think the happiness technique thing wouldn’t make Constance lose her contrarian nature, just make it have a pleasant flare. It goes to show how much it’s truly altering these people

4:55 “just pull it.” why does he know how a straight jacket works

5:03 she ripped that thing off like tearaway pants LMAO

5:14 “that’s not my way, you know that Sticky” I hate that he’s already trying to appeal to him

5:48 yikies

6:01 and now time for the lovely intro. I really do like the style, I don’t think I’ll ever get tired if the vibe

7:06 it makes me sad that she was so unhappy, but at the same time it’s upsetting that it’s being achieved through manipulation and hypnotism

7:11 it really does seem similar to a manic episode

7:28 “but when I think with my mind I just want to resist with all my might” smart. Please listen to yourself

7:42 “what if you just don’t think as much? What if everything’s just fine?” this sounds like a neurotypical person trying to tell someone to just not be anxious

7:53 wtf is happening

8:03 again wtf is happening. This is like two drunk people pretending they’re sober

8:05 oh lord it’s both of them now hahahah

8:21 okay the hard cut was really fucking funny

8:25 is the two of them screaming out a song going to be an important plot point for the gang reuniting hahahah

8:34 “...wolves?” LMAOOOO

8:40 what on earth

8:45 OOP

9:11 “blink once if they have this room bugged” yikes

9:18 “sir, you’re dressed in the faded rags of a hostage” tell me why that reminded me of gert’s “the tower” (gert if you’re reading this i love that fic and its additions so fucking much)

9:24 “I’m getting my own soon” if they’re anything less than a loud yellow im suing

9:26 “I requested yellow” girl you’ve been hypnotized for like 5 minutes when did you have the time to do that

9:36 what is wrong with this child

9:52 rip rhonda and milligan’s free will

9:59 “it’s like a… horse-camel.” does Kate not know what a llama is??

10:29 Constance looks like she jumped right out of Hansel and Gretel

10:58 “I know I tease you, Sticky, but the truth is that I enjoy your scientific facts.” I wonder how much truth there actually is to that

11:24 AWWWW. I know Constance would not do that when not under the influence but it’s so sweet

11:27 “...what’s wrong with her” she didn’t even hesitate

12:07 oh my gosh actually?? Smooth. And very smart to keep up the act so that they can meet up with the other two

12:30 “you two need to blend in” as if they aren’t already on curtain and his team’s hit list

12:38 ew is this like a PR thing

12:51 I really don’t like the phrase “reach into someone’s mind”. Very brainsweeper-adjacent of you

13:07 is this supposed to be a masterclass or some shit

13:29 “and soon all of you will be ready to share your gifts with the world” this is getting very Whisperer-takeover-adjacent of you

13:35 I’m sorry but Milligan you look ridiculous

13:36 I love how they somehow managed to make the four maintain some aspect of their personal styles in their hobo clothes. Reynie has a collar popped for fuck’s sake LOL

14:04 happiness centers?? This is the same but opposite of the books’ SAD cases and facilities

14:10 yikes, they’re operating them? Curtain must be fully convinced that he has control over their minds at this point. Scary

14:17 another one bites the dust

14:24 “I got it, they’re undercover.” Sticky I love you but do you think Mr Benedict is that good of an actor. Like Milligan and Rhonda I get, they are skilled as hell, but he would never be able to keep his cool around his brother like that

14:32 oh that made me so sad, I saw how ecstatic Miss Perumal looked

14:46 wait it happened that quickly? You get one neck pain and then 10 minutes later you’re fully catatonic?

15:05 of course the guy it happened to was conveniently on a wheelie chair

15:27 I really don’t like the implications of “worldwide happiness revolution”

15:37 Mr B looks incredibly concerned. Did he break out of it? Is it possible to break out of it? Is it possible to feel things other than happiness? I have so many questions

16:28 “they seem… very happy to be with you.” fake asf

16:44 ohh Reynie sweetheart

17:15 ohhhhh Kate

17:35 “there is no point to that emotion” dude’s fucked

17:42 “you guys are so convincing!” “thanks :D of what :D” incredible

18:01 “we love it here Sticky, and you will too.” fucking creepy

18:38 “it’s only natural to want others to be as miserable as you are” I mean there’s her usually biting tone but also huhhhh

18:58 Garrison team up part 2 electric boogaloo

19:09 LMAO SHE YOINKED THE NOTEBOOK

19:40 oop they weren’t in unison that time

19:52 cover’s blown

21:13 “a correlation. Which is not the same as a causation.” just say you’re in denial and go

21:40 “and next time, do not bring me a problem for which you have no solution” so what I’m hearing is that homeboy doesn’t want to held responsible

21:57 AWW REUNION TIME

22:02 I GET THAT THEYRE MENTALLY COMPROMISED BUT MY HEART IS SO HAPPY SEEING THEM HUG

22:37 why does she write her r’s like that

22:37 I mean I get that it's a font but still

22:46 “optics. You mean like shining a bright light in someone’s eye?” don’t tell me they’re about to strobe people into awareness

23:06 “I’ve successfully stolen several items recently.” Kate, my love, I’m so proud of you LMAO

24:02 I’m really enjoying this compilation, each person is contributing in ways that play to all of their skills so dang well

24:19 that’s right, now learn to appreciate your dad’s contributions

24:36 “50/50… maybe…. 40/60?” loving the confidence lol. What a weird ass solution

24:49 it is so deeply strange seeing them all frolicking

25:01 I find it hilarious that the hippy pants don’t have belt buckles so Kate had to make a sash for her bucket

25:22 good grief. I know I said it earlier but it’s like they’re drunk off their asses

25:24 so did Mr B just like… forget about what he saw or

25:35 “that… is an unexpected vision.” agreed

25:47 “where’s my dad? Let’s start with him.” she can pretend she’s not worried about him all she wants but I will simply not believe her

25:57 okay so he didn’t forget. But he’s still dancing. So does the hypnosis thing kind of interject happiness into everything else, like force it to the front no matter what? Is that why he’s so chill? I still don’t quite understand how this works logistically

26:03 “and I knew I should feel something but I couldnt, which terrified me” okay so that does kind of answer my question, from what Mr B’s saying it negates other feelings to the point of overriding them

26:22 Milligan my guy chew with your mouth closed

26:42 I know he’s compromised but I think he would’ve responded the same way if he wasn’t because he’s so soft for her

26:54 “you are an amazing person, Kate Wetherall.” “I have strong genes.” AOJSDLFKSJDLF

26:54 THEY ARE SO PRECIOUS

27:19 moment of truth

27:28 “...you deliberately misled me at the gates.” LMAO HE’S BACK AND HE’S BITTER

27:45 MY HEART CAN’T HANDLE THEM

27:57 “looks like you’ve gotten acclimated :D” creepy

28:34 RHONDA’S FACE HAHAHAH she’s like “I can’t believe this shit”

28:43 “Oh, can it wait? I’m vibing.” drunk queen energy lol

28:53 “trust me.” “and I do, with my life” LSKDFJLIDSFJ AWWWWW

29:07 they’re going to be a problem if they’re watching so closely

29:13 first of all, don’t J&J recognize them from school?? LOL. second, called it

29:58 why did they have to tackle him like that adfjlafj

30:06 “my shoulder! It’s dislocated!” “STAY WITH ME” “it’s just my shoulder but thank you!” these two hahahhaa

30:58 “she gets a vote now?” in this house I demand respect for Miss Perumal 😤

31:52 “us :)” awwwwww

32:18 so is he like trying to do it to himself or

32:21 he WAS damnit that’s sad

32:28 equal parts sad and creepy. This is a desperate man

32:47 LMAO HUH

33:08 so number two’s original plan is in action lol. He is in a literal body bag

33:47 LMAOOOOO they’re fucking zoomin

34:06 why do they call them the greys too? Like.. don't they have an actual name for them. Like, say. Recruiters

So I did this liveblog in a few parts, but as I’m typing this it’s Wednesday night. I’m about to watch the finale.

34:24 idk why I gasped bc I knew it was coming

~

Damn, this season really took a hard left LOL. I have 0 idea what to expect for the finale. See you guys there!

[dustvoid]

14.09.24

I knew this would happen. almost 4 months in and I'm miserable. im on the other side of the world and im still spending Friday and Saturday nights alone. I could be anywhere and I think this would be my life. I don't know what it is. I just can't make any long lasting friends. it's sad because I do try, it's just never reciprocated. Im never anyones first choice. it really sucks. I hate that everyone else is so lucky and it's always me in the shitty situations. it's so unfair that someone like pat can come over here and already have a good circle of friends and then move into a fun house with people who like to hang out and now he will get to have the perfect experience. not to mention that I actually asked him to hang out this weekend which I never do because whenever I do the person is always busy and low and behold he was busy, then gave me a pity invite to a festival and then ignored me. im tired of him treating me like this and im just done. I'm not going to bother anymore with someone who clearly doesn't give a fuck. I'll just let him live his life and I'll live mine. it sucks because im just stuck in this vicious cycle where I can't rent a room without a full time job which I don't have and I can't find one. I don't know what im going to do after this job ends and im back to being unemployed. I'm terrified because of how expensive it is here. maybe I should just go home. I don't see the point of living here and being miserable and not even being able to find a fucking job with citizenship. I just need someone to give me a fucking break. I just want to live somewhere where I actually talk to the people who live there. I have lived in that many houses now and ive never had one good living experience except for maybe 6 months when I first moved out of home which was years ago. every other time its been pure shit and it sucks. I don't think it will ever happen for me to be honest and I think this has just made me realise it for real. I really don't know what to do. I guess I just have to wait to see if this job gets extended again while also hoping that I can find something permanent even though I can't even get an interview these days. it is all just too hard.

[ohumokay]

I saw ur comment on the friend post and even though we have an age gap it baffles me that we seem to be having the same issues in regards to friendships. idk if society has always been cliquey or overly selective of who it lets join in and vice versa. but lately idk whats been up with peoples way of communicating you would think even with all tihs digitalised methods that people would want to but yet it seem no one does either bc theyre so self absorbed or they are "too busy" esp for those that have 100s of friends online but never enough time to every one so some of us sadly get put aside or we just drift apart if they dont align or do enough like i dont even care about gifts and no cards and shit fuck that id rather just have few solid connections than none.

what sucks is the other people who then gloat on their profiles or accounts and ik they "busy" with others. i try to find things in common with others but its so hard sometimes because then you feel like you have to force yourself to genuinely care about shit you dont care about in order to find somewhere to fit in. i recently tried doing online zoom quizzes and they were absolute hell, first off zoom is the worst way to try to feel included in on any sort of group esp when u dont know them right off the bat then these quizzes were god awful to keep up with esp the speedquizzing ones. i only did them cause this was the only way my "friend" would keep in touch long enough w/ me.

its a sad world we are in where people are mostly only interested in themselves, even in school this was the case. idk i just kinda gave up cause i dont think i will ever find who im looking for cause it feels like if im not doing xyz things no one going to care if im not here type thing. yet im tired of finding people only to then feel like they arent pulling their efforts back, again idc for gifts but is it so hard for people to idfk send messages in return or to keep a friendship going? outside of having common interests?

sorry for rambling but i feel like no one really seems to want deep meaningful connections no more. everuthings done for their benefit or for posting online and showcasing it to others their "fake" as fuck connections that they claim to have with people.

Hey... Yeah, I completely understand what you mean. A lot of ppl have shallow ass relationships views nowadays, or avoid real connections.

I think I know which comment you're talking about: the one about my ex-bsf who basically ghosted me. That friendship was not only one sided, but toxic asf. They would shit on my beliefs, make jokes at my expense, and if they were called out for their behavior, they'd say that it didn't matter bcuz they were gonna off themself anyway. It was really shitty, and towards the end, they made it very clear they were a fake friend (literally called themself fake) so I had to cut ties my own way.

I'm sorry your "friend" couldn't compromise in communication. That is such a sucky feeling; trying to keep a friendship afloat, even if the other person isn't. And it's sad that no one in this world can have a normal conversation.

Don't get me wrong, me and the friends I have left (including my new BSF) don't text anything deep. Like, we text all the time, but we usually avoid deep conversations. Not bcuz we can't have meaningful conversation, but bcuz we don't feel comfortable texting; deep shit should be said in person, or,at the bare minimum, over a phone call. So that's why we text pretty shallow, or not at all. But, our friendship is also strong enough to withstand a few days without talking and still being closer than ever.

I understand your exhaustion, for a while I shared your sentiment, but I firmly believe that everyone has a person. A person who they can talk to freely, whenever, without worry of toxicity or emotional distance. A person who is always there with a shoulder to cry on, and advice that one might need to hear, even if they don't want to hear it. A person who will be willing to sit in silence when need be, or rant with them, or simply listens bcuz talking without interruption is therapeutic. A person who is their person, through thick and thin.

And, I know we don't know each other, and have an age gap (tho, idk how large it is), but if you need someone to listen to your rants and rambles, or to talk you through a situation, or to just tell you your heard and appreciated, I'm more than willing. And this goes to anyone who needs it, not just the questioner. I am willing to be a surrogate person until you find your actual person.

I'm not perfect, I might not say the right thing, it might take me a while to respond, but I will always be willing to help a fellow person in need, even over Tumblr ❤️‍🩹

[sniper-rifle-coffee]

So had a tough day Saturday me & the family had a funeral for our grandmother and grandfather, long story not short, my oldest brother broke that night I had to take control of him & my younger brother, so oldest blacked out making me regret leaving my kids then told me every day he thinks about his dad walking out then as he became older he felt that he had to become the father of the family an we see that in him I look up to him but after him all this I still need to be there for him he was in so much pain he then talks alone to our little brother at some point they were on the ground hugging crying screaming that was bad because as soon as I went to split them up our little brother bolts to the highway yelling screaming I chased him down an get him back to the car after calming him down oh lord it was so fucked that night traumatized both of us I'm pretty sure our little brother won't be going to anymore family events because of what my older brother said an did there's so much my older brother broke me talked about my kids made me feel worthless even though he said he feels like a bum lower then me since I'm a father he then started to yell in my face I have to keep all the family members together every year or two I have to contact all our family even though he was doing that telling everyone there that we have to meet least a 1 or 2 year for now on, the thing about my family we only meet when death occurs its rare for us to come together ever it's just were not social that much so we meet near never,

I get why my brother wants us all to come back to being a family there's not many of us left he then also started to say he's now the oldest one in the family on our moms side this all seems so fucked up didn't help that my older brother did nothing for our oldest brother that's why I had to deal with them seem I'm always the one that needs to keep pushing on but I'm fucken tired lately I stay up nights in a row the longest I've gone without sleep was nearly 3 days keeping busy cleaning my place my roommates parents place even cutting there grass just to keep busy just getting fucked up after work high asf drunk I'm so tired but can't sleep I have so much going on since this funeral, bills family friends roommates fighting daily so im popping pills painkiller for my body hurting my fucker feet I still need to see my doc for that & a bloody fucken refill been near a month trying to get my 15mg so nearly a month having only 2mg of my Anti psychotic my mom thinks I can't sleep because I've pretty much been off my meds I need 17mg I'm missing 15mg so smoking weed is a high risk but I've been risking it need it helps me slow down, plus bills an debt collectors keep emailing me and calling me every day I just started to pay for my child support a wonderful 310$ each month now that'll be great for rent tight asf they took this amount when I was doing windows and doors that was a great paying job, the job I do now is like half a cheque compared to windows so my CS is little high weird timing so my son is also going to have a new brother or sister she told me that she's with child from a guy she put in jail he's out an guess they're having a child that's pretty awesome but little fucked up this guy man should have stayed in jail he hit her an yelled at my boy fuck him but eh as long he don't fuck up ill be chill don't like him one bit,

ah anyways so I got my bills paid for living here but my phone bill is fucked for my ex I have her on my plan she don't pay for this bill even though she gets heavy charges going to the USA using data roam my last bill mine 240$ hers 350$ to 400$ because going to the usa so much it hits the bill fucken hard I paid 410$ few days ago the remainder is 600$ an due on the 24th so I have to message her again to help pay the bill or get cut off I can't afford for her to up fuck the phone bill just to fuck some guy in the usa thank fuck the night we fight I told her I don't trust her & that she's paying for the fucken suv I got her she's got a really good paying easy family job in IT she could easily pay for some of the phone bill but won't so seems if no pay by Saturday she's off it I just pray I can get her off it.

Still hurting missing my kids I had to leave I couldn't live with her an her dad any longer in the ghetto bug Infested Projects with her lies an doing things behind my back it even shows soon after i left she just went right to the other guy..

you know what's another fucked thing she pays 400 for fucken rent I pay 1750 three ways maybe 2 ways soon fuck me man then pay for water an hydro internet foods house hold things so like I said too roommates been fighting an I'm the guy in the middle listening to both sides seems I'm the one that keeps them from losing it fully on each other one mate been sick missing lots of work not cleaning after him self & get real messy when his gf comes visiting even though all he does is game on pc every day n night so me an other mate talked he said if he misses rent or borrows off me again he wants him out I get it but I said we got to give him a chance even though there had been a few chances already fuck hate being the nice good guy for people I'm so tired left an right just trying my best to keep peace an people happy I did my best for my kids the girls probably maybe miss me or hates me for not getting to say bye or why,

I finally just met my son while back for the first time had a great day getting to know him an play in a park together ate some food had Ice cream that was a great day at the forks,

but I was there for my girl 9years an didn't even get two years for my daughter I hate my ex why would she do it leave me in the dark I known we were drifting apart but I wanted to be there for the kids so badly I feel so useless & cowardly I just couldn't live with her for months I wouldn't hold her I'd sleep far in the corner against the wall most nights to hold my daughter as she slept in the middle of the bed my heart hurts not feeling hers anymore I'm crying again I keep missing out on so much I only get updates from my mom about how my daughter's are doing I'm in so much fucken pain feel lost an stuck suffering daily guess it's what I deserve I could have stayed but I knew what was happening an I mentally couldn't do it any longer if I stayed I would have had psychosis again it would have been some time but it was going to happen living like that small rooms I've learned what triggered my last one her an her family with a mix of alot of alcohol an weed. Last few days non stop thinking life is really fucking me it's so hard I sometimes get to vent to my mate helps but I still feel so alone my freinds don't get or feel what I deal with or gone through I feel so depressed and Defeated my only fix is weed alcohol an painkillers lately that's all I do keep busy fix clean move shit work I'm tired same thing daily work coffee music I go out now again just to try an social hang out with friends but ever night is rough sleep maybe few hours then repeat over an over shit just keeps building up I need a real break I'm hoping this weekend to finally chill out I wanna keep venting but this is alot an probably enough bitching it's me I shouldn't do this but I feel breaking writing things out I stopped writing on my notes since the ward guy in there I let him use my phone & he fucked with my notes this is my last place to escape vent talk just to feel a little better.

I just need a break soon it's killing me slowly living like this. Fucken trauma keeps creeping in my mind since the family get together for our grandparents.

[jazajas]

i'm trying very hard to remain optimistic, but i swear to god everything feels like its going to shit

i'm always joking with my friends/family that im tired of living through historical events but its weirdly eye opening when your own mother says she repeats it to her colleagues when they ask why my generation seems so detached

it also fucking sucks when your parents in their 50s tell you that you arent looking at the past with rose colored glasses, the current world did get worse throughout the course of my lifetime

and like, being more aware of the world doesn't help but like damn

i can name more absolutely negative world/local(usa) events that will go down in history than positive ones just off the top of my head

(5+ mass shootings, the genocide in gaza, fuxking trump winning president despite clinton winning the popular vote, the overt collapse of our government, just to name a few vs the legality of gay marriage in 2013, and even that is on thin fucking ice)

and we've been trying to gain attention from hybe and shit and im so scared for the dday concert screening bc the theaters in israhell are almost sold and i know I KNOW it's not going to look good for suga or for bts when images of those screenings are out bc no one is going to care that they're in the military rn and dont have a say in business or politics

no one is going to care that both hybe and trafalgar are the reason its aired there DESPITE PRESSURE FROM CONSUMERS AND FANS TO SHUT THOSE SCREENINGS DOWN

and the fact that there are some on twitter who cant fucking wrap their minds around this is so fucking mind boggling to me like how the hell do we appreciate the same artists if YOU KEEP FIGHTING US ON THIS?!

and we're making progress, slow but sure progress, so im trying to not lose hope and give up but its so so so so fucking hard

i hate it so fucking much

[jacunture]

tw: suicide

nothing really matters at all i just found out i probably wont be graduating on time and it's over 3 elective credits that don't have anything to do with my degree and it's coinciding w a lot of other shit right now. like realizing i mightve just had ADHD and that's why i felt so different and weird all the time as a kid even when i tried really hard to control it and be likeable

and w this its just like. five fucking years of getting straight As, i could count the amount of Bs ive gotten on one hand but like literally none of that matters. every time i rushed to class, every late night trying my best to make sense of material, putting my heart into the work i was doing bc i really believed like it mattered and was powerful but the truth is that it doesn't matter

school is the only thing ive been able to understand and do well in. and it doesn't even matter if i move onto something else bc that next thing isnt steady either and it's like for what? five years of that, im broke, im lonely, im sad and i go through life so scared and stressed and for what?

my parents. my mom already said if i died she'd get over it and i think suicide would hurt my dad but i think he'd be okay too. i am really scared at what irl do to my little brother. we dont talk as much as id like, he's very quiet and a really great kid, but he's like 5 hrs away and doesnt see me often so im hoping that helps

im so selfish bc even the good friends i have as much as i love them, ik they'll be fine - things keep going, you meet new ppl, u find other reasons to smile. im just too tired to find it. and i don't think it'll make me happy. anther best friend won't suddenly make me happy, a partner that loves me won't make me happy, nothing will bc ive noticed all my life even when i was a kid, i always felt very sad. i think now it might've been that ADHD i just could never get what i was doing wrong and why ppl disliked it so much. and i think that left me w the fear i live w today that makes everything so hard.

it's not that i dont believe life comes in waves, that every new day is an another opportunity to be kind, to be happy, that mourning will only last for a night, it's just that i don't care anymore. even those good times, they're just a quick, minuscule moment where things are too busy for me to remember how heavy and jarring the sadness in me is.

i sometimes think that the adults who told me i was mature were just seeing that sadness.

To kill myself, I'm deciding between either taking Nyquil or renewing my prescription for my sleeping pills and swallowing it down w alcohol. I think I would want to clean my house down first. The real scandalous things i'd pack up in a bag at my doorway so a friend could take them before my parents come for my things (i leave everything to my family to sift through but Amari gets first pick at everything and dibs on what money i have left). then id pick a night, get high, watch something easy and funny, maybe spongebob or drag race, then id swallow everything while lying on my couch.

literally nothing in life matters. it doesn't matter how many times i recreate myself, it doesn't matter which god i do/dont pledge my allegiance to, it doesn't even matter how others feel about me. whatever they feel now will pass and even the parts of me that stay with them, they'll be able to live with despite everything.

nothing matters and im too tired to pretend it does so i can make it to another day.

[borderline-gays-club]

ugh i did something dumb and its so frustrating cus i cant even b mad towards myself about it... some dude on my way home off the train was asking me abt my jacket and idk i just got out of work, it was late, i was already feeling anxious and work was busy as shit and i was so tired. And he seemed fine, asking abt my jacket and then we chatted a bit as we got out of the station and i was like yup ok bye ! and then put my headphones back on and he followed me a bit and tapped my shoulder and was like ur insta? And i was so caught off guard i couldnt even access my usual go to excuses and i was just like uhhhhh ok. and fuckin typed my insta in like an IDIOT. and then i walked an extra block around to make sure he didnt know which building i lived in and i was panicking a little and was trying so hard not to be mean to myself. And the worst part is, even if I never see this man again, I'll always be anxious to see him... BUT BUT BUT

FUCKKK THat!!! I AM TIRED OF MOVING AROUND PPL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and this is where i get so damn frustrated cus i still have these big moments where I just get small and fragile and succumb to social pressure, and then I have the moments where Im like FUckkkk off. And when i hav the fragile moments, it just makes me feel like I'm regressing. And i guess im embarassed too at how all this shit went down. Cus like I even talked to him for a bit and didnt say details but still i said too much... ugh. its so fucking hard... Its shit like this that I wish I could just turn of my brain and hibernate for a while.. sad sad sad anxious sad but i'll b ok.. im not gonna let myself spiral

[anapologethicc]

:/

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

🐺 Being MSBY's Manager 🐺

Being Atsumu's Crush and Pregnant

Atsumu Miya with/MSBY x Female Pregnant Manager

Warnings: reader is pregnant, swearing, angst to fluff, toxic behavior from YN (drinking to cope, unsafe sex), description of birth (dramatized for funsies)

AN: This was a suggestion from kitty 😺 anon!!! Its based off my MSBY Group Chat, Team Disappointment!

🦋 please like, comment and share to support my art 🦋

Ok I'm wasting zero time getting into this one

Because it's about to be LONG

We have 9 whole months to cover people 👏🏻

At this point, just consider it a short story in bullet point format 🤣

Enter Miss YN LN, manager of the division 1 team the MSBY Black Jackels 🙌🏻

I love that for you 🥰

You are so loved and adored by all your boys and they support you so much 🥺

However there's one team member that you have an extra special relationship with

One, Atsumu Miya ❤️

I know, shocking right?

But there's always been something about Atsumu

You two just get along really well

He teases you, you throw a volleyball at him 🥰

We love a strong relationship

It wasn't long before you developed a crush on Atsumu

But you learned quickly that Atsumu didn't feel the same way about you 😕

Or at least you thought 🙃

Sakusa was the first to notice your infatuation with Atsumu

He's amazing about observing and noticed how your eyes lingered on our favorite setter

Sorry Oikawa 😶

But you are too nervous to say anything

You go a while thinking you might have a chance with Atsumu

Until you overhear him talking with Bokuto and Hinata

"YN is a real catch right? Any guy would be lucky to date her!"- Bokuto, our hype king

"Yeah I guess. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like YN but she's just not my type"- Atsumu 🤡

It's a hard pill to swallow 😔

Hearing that is a total bruise to your ego

The tears start to well as you turn around to leave, seeing Sakusa standing right behind you

Great now your all embarrashed 😫

"YN are you ok?"- Sakusa, concerned

You smile "Yeah I'm good. I just- I gotta go clean up"- you quickly making your exit past Sakusa and the rest of the team

"What was that about?"- Meian, looking at Sakusa

Sakusa narrows his eyes and turns to leave

It's not his business to share and he doesn't want to say anything

However, what you don't know is that Atsumu is full of CRAP 💩

This man is in such denial that the girl who has become his best friend is also perfect for him

Fucking clown behavior istg 🙄

Atsumu is having such conflicted feelings for you and he has no idea what to do

He's never had turmoil like this before people 👏🏻

Unfortunately for him, things start heading south

You start to pull away from him at practice and he has no idea why

You still talk with him but its not the same

"Hey YN, you wanna hang out this weekend?"- Atsumu

"I'm sorry Sumu, I can't! Im going out with friends but thanks"- You, running back to practice

Atsumu is confused because you always made time for him

However what Atsumu doesn't know is that his "rejection" of you caused a downward spiral

Every weekend you've been going out, dancing with friends and drinking excessively

When you'd drink, the pain of your one-sided attraction to Atsumu went away

You were the center of many guys affections and ended up going home with several of them

Atsumu began to talk with you less and less, noticing you pulling away

Sakusa and the team watched as you two, once good friends became practical strangers

"Anyone feel weird when Atsumu and YN are on the court together?"- Inunaki

"Yeah, it's like being in the room with two divorced parents"- Thomas adds

Sakusa knows exactly what's happening and he wrestles with telling the truth or letting it go

Ultimately he sides with keeping it quiet

Please he still feels like it's nOnE oF hIs BuSiNeSs

A few weeks pass and tournament season kicks into gear

You've been forced to settle down with your wild nights because of your new rigorous schedule

Not to mention how tired you've been

Your body seems more worn down than usual and you figured you were just getting sick from all the extra practices

One morning you woke up, and your breasts were extremely sore

Like tender to the touch sore

"Geez ouch- I can't even wear my normal bra"- you say to yourself as you slowly dress

You honestly didn't pay any mind to the soreness, figuring you pulled a muscle in your chest for the previous practice

So you pop a few Tylenol and head to the gym

You enter the office as Meian and Barnes are sitting and talking

"Hey YN"- they say as a sudden wave of nausea hits you

Your eyes widen as the smell of coffee hits you and you sprint from the office to the bathroom, throwing up

Barnes and Meian take after you quickly

"Jesus YN are you ok?"- Barnes says knocking on the bathroom door

"Yeah YN, what the hell? You sick? Why are you here!?"- Meian

"YN's sick! "- Bokuto 😱

"Stay away from me YN. It's still flu season"- Sakusa

Please they are all so supportive 🤣

"I'm not sick! I don't know what came over me"- you say as you stand up, flushing the toilet and going to the sink

You wash your hands and begin to process what's been going on

Your exhausted, your breasts ache and you got sick off the smell of coffee?

How strange 🙃

Well it's a good thing there is a well placed tampon/pad machine right by the door to the bathroom to remind you of one teeny tiny thing

Your face pales as you look at the machine, mentally trying to calculate when your last cycle was

You feel sick and hot as you splash water on your face and try to figure out what to do

Good thing you have the most supportive team 😍

"YN ARE YOU FEELING BETTER YET? ATSUMU ISNT HELPING ME WITH MY SPIKING DRILLS AND I NEED YOU!"- Hinata crying through the door

"HINATA LEAVE YN ALONE!"- Meian screaming

Please you need to be alone and think about this

Probably after you buy a test 😅

You figure your best bet is to attend morning practice and run to the store on your lunch break while the guys head home to rest

"I'm coming"- you say, trying to shove all thoughts of being pregnant out of your mind

The morning drags on as lunch finally hits

The guys leave and you run to the nearest pharmacy, quickly running 🏃‍♀️ back to the bathroom of the gym

You read the instructions, as you mentally thank yourself for consuming extra water during practice

You pee on the stick and wait

Now, having taken multiple pregnancy tests in my life, I can say that 3-5 minite wait is arguably the scariest wait of someone's life 😅

It's a life changing thing YN!

You pace as you await the results, trying not to freak out

"Ok ok YN calm down! You don't even know if you're pregnant or not. This could all just be a giant fever dream. Or maybe your period is just really really late! Yeah that happens all the time"- you trying to talk yourself down from the cliff 😅

The timer on your phone goes off as you slowly approach the test...

You peer over, seeing a giant "Pregnant" on the screen

Your body gives out as you fall to the floor and sit there is shock

Ok but me when I first found out I was pregnant with my son 😆

Luckily or unluckily there seems to be a team member who hasn't yet left for home 🙃

Atsumu is walking by the girls locker room when he hears something fall

He stops, listens and knocks, slowly opening the door to make sure no one is in need to help

By this point, you're full on sobbing

He opens the door, seeing you on the floor, eyes wide and tears streaming down your face

"Yn! Omg are you ok?? What happened?"- Atsumu now running to you, falling besides you as he check you over

"Atsumu-" you say crying

Atsumu looks at your hand, seeing the test there

He picks it up, seeing the "pregnant" that brought you to your knees

"Where did you get this yn? Geez I knew you were an empath but YN this is a bit too far don't you think?"- Atsumu

Like I said 👉🏻 🤡

You 👉🏻👁💧👄💧👁 Atsumu it's mine...

It takes him a few seconds to process

Man goes through the 5 stages of grief

"No no- it- it cant"- Atsumu, in full denial

"Atsumu I'm pregnant"- you say, crying

"How YN??"- Atsumu

You 👉🏻👁💧👄💧👁 seriously...

"I know how YN but like HOW"- Atsumu

"I- I don't know! I thought I was being careful"- you, embarrassed now

"Jesus YN, is this why you've been pulling away from me?"- Atsumu says sitting next to you

Your head snaps to him

He noticed you'd been pulling away?

As much as you want to tell him, you feel like it will only add more to an already complicated situation

So you decide to keep quiet

"Yeah I- I didn't want to bother you"- you

"YN you're not a bother. Please I want to help" Atsumu says

"I don't want your pity Atsumu"- you say as you wipe your tears

"Shut up YN! It's not pity! You're my best friend and I care alot about you!"- Atsumu

You just stare at him, still crying

"Ok let's just think about this YN. Do you know what you want to do??"- Atsumu, jumping into adulting mode

"I think I should call the doctor"- you, wiping your tears

"Ok let's do it now"- Atsumu standing up

"Now- but Atsumu"- you

"No buts YN let's get going"- Atsumu says pulling out his phone and dialing

Please, assertive men 🥵

You just stand there as Atsumu talks to the receptionist

Atsumu tells the receptionist your birthday and name

"Yn they have an opening tomorrow afternoon is that good?"- Atsumu, putting his hand over the speaker

You 👉🏻👁👄👁 yeah-

Honestly shocked by Atsumu assertiveness and protectiveness

"We will take it! See you tomorrow"- Atsumu, hanging up

"Atsumu what are you doing?"- You

"If you think Im letting you do this alone YN, you're wrong"- Atsumu

Your heart swells as Atsumu smiles at you, hugging you tightly

He hasn't let the full situation sink in yet but don't worry, it will happen soon enough 🙃

You manager to get through afternoon practice and the next morning practice before you head to your appointment

Except you don't head there alone

Oh no no

Atsumu is right by your side

"Atsumu you don't have to-" you say, as Atsumu opens the door for you

"YN- enough! I told you I'm here for you"- Atsumu, grabbing your hand and pulling you into the clinic

In the clinic, Atsumu acts like a nervous father 😅

Honestly we love him for that

"Atsumu chill out, I'm the pregnant one"- You

"I know- I know but like I'm worried"- Atsumu pacing as the doctor comes in the checks you over

You get an ultrasound to check for due dates

And now, for moms educational time 🙌🏻

So sometimes, a person will have an ultrasound done to check on the fetus

And this ultrasound might be a probe ultrasound, which is done vaginally

Yes, it can be uncomfortable but it's sometimes easier to see the fetus this way and get a more accurate gestational age

I'm not doctor or nurse, this is just my own personal experience from having been pregnant 3 times

So let's just say that's what you do

Atsumu is still in the room when the doctor goes to perform this ultrasound

His face goes from 😐 to 😳 to 😱 real quick

"Whoa whoa you have to do that!"- Atsumu says interrupting the doctor, standing right by your wide open legs

"Atsumu, please"- You

"Sir I promise, your wife will be fine"- the doctor says, reassuring Atsumu

"Oh he's not-"

"I'm just worried about her that's all"- Atsumu says walking up to you, grabbing your hand and smiling

The fact that he didn't correct the doctor is both reassuring and confusing 🙁

You are already in a super emotional state and this isn't helping

"Well it's looks like you are 8 weeks YN and if you look here, you'll see what your body is working so hard for"- the doctor says, turning the screen to show you the fetus

It hits you all at once as your situation sets in

You're pregnant, actually pregnant

And you have no idea who the father is

You sit and stare at the screen as Atsumu stares with you

Except Atsumu is so amazed and in complete shock

Please he's so excited 🥰

The doctor prints you a picture as you clean up and get an updated folder of appointments and a book to read

You walk out with Atsumu, not speaking as you head towards your car

"YN, hey are you ok?"- Atsumu

"No- no im not ok"- you say quietly as the tears start to form

"Hey come here"- Atsumu says pulling you into his embrace as you sob loudly

"Atsumu, I- I'm scared to do this on my own"- you confess

"Don't you want to let guy know you're pregnant?"- Atsumu

Atsumu can't help but feel a little jealous

He never expressed his feelings to you

Heck his feelings didn't really make sense until just recently

You dodge the question and huddle closer as Atsumu holds you

"Hey yn- shhh you aren't going to be alone!"- Atsumu says rubbing your back

"What about the team? What about my job? Oh my god Atsumu"- you sobbing

Please those hormones can hit HARD

"Hey hey now! I'm here for you YN! I care about you and you're my best friend"- Atsumu

Please it pains him to say "best friend" but he basically friend zoned himself 💅🏼

"You- you really mean that?"- you 🥺

"Of course! And trust me, Meian and the team would rather go without a manager than see you go YN. I promise, we can tell them together"- Atsumu

You smile as you hug him and kiss his cheek

Please he melts from that act alone 😭

The next day, you walk into practice nervous

Atsumu is waiting for you at the door as he grabs your hand and leads you in

Immediately, when you enter the gym, all eyes land on you

"Ok what's wrong?"- Meian, sighing as he crosses his arm over his broad chest 🥵

You 👉🏻👁👄👁 seriously!!!

"It's just weird that you and Atsumu are acting so close when you've all but ignored each other for months"- Sakusa

"Yeah we are just a bit skeptical"- Inunaki

"Just spit it out already"- Barnes

"I'm Pregnant" "YN's Pregant!" - you and Atsumu say at the same time

The guys 👉🏻😐😳😲

"Atsumu you idiot! You knocked YN up!!"- Barnes yelling

"What the hell dude?? We talked about condoms!"- Meian

"I love how YN isn't getting lectured"- Sakusa 🤔

"She should know better too! Jesus christ!"- Inunaki

Please their overreaction isn't helping

You start to tear up and sniffle as your embarrassment sets in

"Hey! Knock it off you guys"- Thomas coming up to you

Atsumu hugs you as you continue to sniffle

Meian puts his fingers on the bridge of his nose and takes a deep breath

"We're sorry YN. This is just shocking"- Meian

"It's ok. But please, it's not Atsumu's fault"- You, protecting Atsumu

Bokuto and Hinata 👉🏻🤨🤨

"YN you do realize how a baby is made right?"- Bokuto

"Oh dear god"- Sakusa, walking away

"Yes Ko, remember I'm the one who taught you"- you 🙄

"She's saying I'm not the father guys"- Atsumu says calmly

Everyone stops and stares at you

Please where do they go from here 😅 this is so awkward

So leave it to us to blaze a trail

"I havent contacted the father yet. I- I'm pretty much on my own"- you explaining it gently

"YN say less, we are not here to judge"- Inunaki, his hand up stopping you 🤚🏻

"Yeah YN, we are only here to support you"- Barnes

"Have you decided what you plan to do YN?"- Meian

Atsumu stands next to you holding your hip and squeezing lightly

"I want to keep it. But I also want to stay your manager..."- You, whispering and trying not to cry again

"YN of course you can stay on!! We could never replace you"- Meian

"Really?"- you, now crying happy tears instead of sad ones

"Omg YN you are crying so much and I'm not sure whether it's happy or sad tears"- Hinata, panicking 😰

"It's happy tears Sho"- you say as you hug him tight

Atsumu is so happy and smiling bright as the team and you embrace

A month goes by things are progressing

"Good morning YN, little YN"- Meian says rubbing your belly as he walks by

First off, he asked and you said it was fine 🙂 always ask a pregnant person if you can touch them please!

Ask anyone if you can touch them... consent 👏🏻

Secondly, your bump has become a bit of a good luck charm for our boys

Inunaki swears it's the reason they are on a winning streak

Last week they beat EJP and this week they managed to win against the Adlers

Hinata and Bokuto come bounding at you as you brace for impact

But their force is stopped by a brick wall in the form of Atsumu 🧱

"What did I tell you two about jumping on YN?? She's growing a little YN!"- Atsumu 😡

Please he's so protective 😫

Sakusa walks up to you and pulls you into a side hug, whispering in your ear

"Hes got it so bad for you YN"- Sakusa, strolling away leaving you confused

Sure Atsumu has been attentive and very caring the last few weeks

He's taken to driving you places, making sure you have something to eat and taking you to appointments

He's stepped in as a friend and your biggest supporter

Too bad it's become more confusing than it was at first

Atsumu acts super protective of you and so loving

But then why did he say you weren't his type?

Maybe he's just being nice? Maybe he's caring for you as a friend would?

That must be it

You shove Omi's comments about Atsumu down as you proceed with your day

The weeks go by and soon your 20 weeks

Yay for half way through with your pregnancy 🙌🏻

You've been through alot these past few weeks and it's been entails and emotionally exhausting

You hadn't told anyone but you contacted as many of the guys you slept with as you could

None of them showed any interest in being a father, nor did they want anything to do with you 😔

It's was a big hit to your ego and your emotions

You spent the weekend crying and dodging all Atsumu's attempts to hang out

Claiming you were too sick

It honestly worried Atsumu who wanted to make sure you were OK

Mans was willing to drive to your place at 11 pm to take you to the urgent care if needed YN 👏🏻

But you just wanted to be alone and process everything

You never felt so alone and it was honestly so scary

Despite all the love and support you received from the team, it wasn't the same

You managed to hide your sadness from the team and soon it was time for your twenty week ultrasound

Atsumu asked to come with you and of course you said yes 🥰

It felt so nice to have someone with you, supporting you even if it was just as a friend

"Ok YN, would you like to know the babies sex?"- the ultrasound tech says

"Yes please"- you say, watching the screen as the tech moves the probe around your stomach

"Looks like a baby girl to me"- she exclaims as you begin to cry, tears flooding your eyes as Atsumu stands up, kissing your forehead, his tears mixing with yours

Please supportive Atsumu 😭😭😭

Guys I can't 🥺

The next day, you walk into the gym only to be bombarded by the team

"It's a girl right?"- Bokuto says as Meian pushes him back

"Knock it off Bokuto, we all know it's a boy"- Meian says smirking

"What? So you can tell what the baby is just by looking at YN?"- Barnes 🤨

"I told you it's captain intuition! I'm in tune with my team"- Meian say proudly

"Well you need to retune Shugu because the baby is a girl!"- you say as Bokuto and Hinata jump up and down, celebrating with you

Inunaki, Thomas and Barnes all laugh at Meian as he glares back

"Ok ok- fine I was wrong! But everything is good right YN?"- Meian

"Yep! She's perfect!"- you say, smiling as Atsumu puts his hand on your belly and kisses your forehead

Sakusa looks at you both questioningly

"Alright let's get changed for practice! YN do you got everything?"- Meian says

"Yes captain"- you say rolling your eyes as you take your jacket off, revealing your MSBY shirt covering your now growing bump

"Don't lift anything YN"- Barnes says

"Thomas and I will do the nets YN"- Inunaki says

"And I'll get the towels"- Bokuto chimes in

"Guys I'm fine!! You can help with the nets and carrying the water but I'm still capable!"- you throwing your hand in the air as you walk away

The guys all move the the locker rooms, a permanent smile stuck on Atsumu's face

"You look happy dude"- Hinata says

"I am! YN and I have become really close again. It's nice!"- Atsumu

"So you only plan to be her friend?"- Sakusa

Please he's held out as long as he could 😅

"What are you talking about?"- Atsumu

Hinata, Bokuto, Meian, Inunaki, Barnes and Thomas are all like 👀👀👀👀

Nosey bitches

They will purposely change slowly just because 🤚🏻

Sakusa sighs, he really doesn't want to say anything but he also knows your in a fragile state and he doesn't want you to get hurt

"Listen Sumu-"

Oh shit he's broken out the nickname 😱

"A few months ago, YN heard what you said about her not being your type-"

Atsumu's face pales, Sakusa continues

"I think it really got to her man. Listen, I knew she liked you but I didn't want to interfere. Maybe I should have but I didn't know she was going out and doing what she was doing"- Sakusa

Atsumu states at Sakusa in shock, sitting down on the bench, all the color now gone from his face

"What was she doing Kiyoomi?"- Meian interjects

Sakusa sighs and continues

"She was going out with her friends, getting drunk and going home with different guys. Listen I don't want to speculate but hasn't anyone wondered why YN has mentioned the baby's dad?"- Sakusa

"I mean I just figured he didn't want to be involved"- Thomas

"Are you saying that YN doesn't know who the father is?"- Barnes says sitting down

Sakusa nods and looks at Atsumu who is sitting quietly

"Holy shit-" Hinata says

"Sakusa, what the hell man? Why are you bringing this up now?"- Meian says

"YN is really fragile right now and I don't want her or you getting hurt. I know you care alot about her but-"

"I want to be with her Kiyoomi"- Atsumu interjects

The room quiets as Atsumu looks up to see his teammates gaping at him

"Dude are you-" Thomas says

"Atsumu, nobody expects you to take that on. I mean, not even YN would"- Barnes

Atsumu knows its alot but he can't help but recount his feelings the last few months

He remembers how sad he was when you pulled away and began ignoring him

How upset he was when you continued to shrug him off week after week

How the knot in his stomach grew when you told him you were pregnant

The jealousy he felt knowing he wasn't the baby's biological father

It killed him to see how upset you were the day he found you in the bathroom

Then to see you so happy again your ultrasound

It made him want to be apart of everything

"I think you need to talk to YN first Atsumu"- Thomas

"Yeah I mean, she's the one who will need to ultimately decide"- Inunaki

Atsumu sighed as he went about getting changed and then heading to practice

He knew he needed to talk to you and he had just the plan to do it

A few weeks went by as you and your belly continued to grow

Being almost 27 weeks was exhausting and taking an emotional toll on you

Your body was always sore, your feet hurt and all you wanted to do was sleep

You took it as easy as you could at practice

Atsumu made sure to constantly have a chair available for you as he pushed you into it more than necessary during the day

"Sumu really I'm fine"- you, being set carefully in the chair

"YN, sit!"- Atsumu says, grabbing another chair and putting your feet on it

"Sumu-"

"Here YN, Samu made you some Onigiri"- Atsumu said handing you the package as you grab it from him

You start eating as your eyes fill with tears as you chew

"YN Jesus, there's no need to cry!"- Atsumu

"It's just so good Sumu"- You 😭😭😭

Ok then 😐

That weekend, Atsumu asked over for dinner

Your agreed, enjoying your time with him

During dinner, Atsumu decided to approach the subject he's been avoiding for weeks

"YN, listen I want to talk to you"- Atsumu

"Sure Sumu, what's up?"- you a tad bit nervous

"YN, I want to be involved in the baby and your lives"- Atsumu

"Sumu you already are"- you confused 😕

"No- I mean, I want to be more than just a friend YN"- Atsumu

Your eyes widen as you sit back, your hand going to your belly

"Sumu I-"

"Listen YN, Sakusa told me what you heard and I just want to let you know, I was confused"

"Wait what? Sakusa told you"- you now standing up, mortified

"YN listen, it's ok! There's nothing wrong! I know you dont know who the babies father is and thats ok!"- Atsumu

You're absolutely mortified and feeling sick

If Atsumu knows, does the whole team know?

You feel so cheap and it's breaking you 🥺

"No everything's wrong Atsumu! God I can't believe Sakusa told you! Told you about everything! God I'm so embarrassed!"- you now stumbling around the chair, rushing towards the door

"YN please wait!"- Atsumu chasing you

"Sumu no! I don't need your pity! I got myself into this and I can do this myself. I know I'm 'not your type' or whatever but I'm not just some charity case"- You, crying

"YN Please stop!"- Atsumu, trying to get you to stay

"Leave me alone Sumu! God I can't believe I was so stupid!"- you, completely emotional and irrational

You take off out the door as Atsumu stands there, not sure if he should go after you or not

He calls Sakusa who answers right away

"Hey man-" "YN left! She fucking left! God I fucked up so bad! And now she's out on the streets alone. God what if she gets hurt or something happens to her!! Oh my god! What do I do??"

"Fuck- ok I'm going to call her, you go down and look for her. Follow her if you have to and make sure she gets home safe. I'll call Meian and see if he can go check on her"- Sakusa, our planning king

"Ok"- Atsumu says hanging up as he runs down the stairs to try and find you

Only your gone 😔

Your phone rings and rings as you sit on the train

You look to see you have missed calls from the entire team including Atsumu

You put your phone back in your pocket as you head to your apartment

Once inside you strip your clothes off, shower and put comfy sweats on

At this point, your just going through the motions, your brain on auto pilot

A pounding on your door jolts you from your trance

"YN OPEN UP NOW"- Meian shouts

You walk to the door, opening it to see Meian, Thomas and Inunaki all standing there

"Jesus woman! Could you answer your phone maybe?"- Thomas says

"I'm fine. There's nothing to worry about" you say in a monotone voice

"Well that's not what Atsumu said YN. He said you ran out of his apartment when he tried talking to you"- Meian

"Listen I don't need Atsumu or anyone's sympathy ok? I know I'm a fucking slut! I know I fucked up! I don't need anyones pity!" You now shouting as the tears fall down your cheeks

Seriously the theme of these headcannons is alot of crying 🥲

"YN"- Inunaki says as you look at him, his eyes sad

"I just want to be alone ok? Please let me be alone"- You, begging and tears falling

"Text us later ok?"- Meian says, taking the hint and turning to leave

You nod as you close and lock your door

Your tears falling steady as you turn to head to bed

The next few weeks go by in a daze

There is a odd unsettling in the air at the gym as you go about your job, steering as clear of Atsumu as you can

He watches you as you try and put the towels up

"Let me help" "I'm fine but thank you"- you say as you put the towels up and walk away

He's miserable, you're miserable, everyone's miserable

And you know what we love to do here 👀

Make everyone more miserable before we make them better 🙌🏻

So let's bring on some more pain, shall we 🙃

At 30 weeks, you wake up feeling exhausted

You haven't been able to sleep much and your body is constantly tired and sore

You make it to the gym just as you feel a sharp pain stab your back

You bend over, grabbing a chair as you curse

"Fuck" you squeak out as the pain dissipates

You wonder what's going on as the guys flood the gym and you straighten up

Atsumu looks at you as you smile lightly, turning to walk away

You come out from the office, a stack of papers in your hand as another pain shoots from your back

"Oh fuck"- you scream, as the papers go flying and your legs buckle

The teams heads snap your way as they rush to support you

"YN what's wrong?"- Atsumu

"My back- fuck it hurts Sumu"- you say, crying as the pain continues

"Shit, get her a chair Bokuto"- Meian says as Bokuto runs to grab you a seat

"Here YN"- Bokuto says as Sumu and Sakusa help you sit

The pain continues as you moan and cry through it

"We should take you to the hospital YN"- Thomas says as you nod

You're scared and it's about to get scarier

You stand up, and Barnes gasps

"Fuck YN your bleeding"- Barnes says as your face pales, looking at the seat seeing your blood soaking through

"Ambulance now!"- Meian shouts as Sakusa calls and Atsumu supports you

You start crying frantically as Atsumu holds you

"Sumu, the baby!! It's so early!"- you cry as Atsumu hugs you

"YN shhh- it's ok! Hey it's going to be ok! I'm not leaving you!"- Atsumu says reassuring you

"Atsumu, I'm so sorry- please" "shhh none of that! You have nothing to be sorry for baby!"- Atsumu says holding you close

The ambulance arrives as you are loaded in, Atsumu riding with you to the hospital

When you arrive, the doctors whisk you away to the maternity unit

Atsumu tries to follow up is stopped

"I'm sorry sir but only family from here on out"- the nurses says

"Fuck-" "He's the babies dad! Please let him come"- you shout as Atsumu looks at you, his eyes wide and tears filling the ducts

"Ok come with me sir"- the nurse says, bringing you both to a room

Hours go by as you sit and wait

The doctors were able to locate the babies heartbeat within seconds, reassuring you and Atsumu she was still ok

Atsumu sat next to you, holding your hand as he watched you

"YN, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for everything. Please I never wanted this to happen"- Atsumu says

"Don't apologize Sumu. I should have listened to you. But I didn't. I'm sorry for this whole mess"- you, saddened

"YN, I love you and our baby so much! Please don't apologize for anything. I want to be here with you the entire way. That is, if you'll have me?"- Atsumu

Please now I'm crying 😭

"Atsumu, you mean it?"- You 🥺

"YN, if I didn't think it was inappropriate, I'd propose right now"- he says, smiling at you

"Please don't yet, I've had enough excitement for one day"- you say, laughing at Atsumu smiles

The doctor walks in

"Well good news YN is that your waters haven't broken and baby seems ok. It looks like you had a small subchorionic hematoma. It wasn't noted earlier on your ultrasounds, probably because it was so small. However it could have grown and then burst, causing the bleeding. It looks like everything is fine but just to be safe, I want you on bedrest for the next few weeks. That means laying down 23 hours a day, only getting up to use the bathroom"- the doctor says

Your eyes widen and you nod your head, you look to Sumu

"Sumu, my job. I cant-" the tears are falling again

Seriously so many tears 😢

"Hey- hey, it's fine YN! I'm here to help you. Let me help ok?"- Atsumu says as you nod, placing trust in him

The doors to your room fly open as 7 giant men enter

Please they probably scared everyone on the floor 😅

"Hey hey hey YN! How are you feeling?"- Bokuto

"Much better thank you guys!"- you say smiling as you place your hand on your belly

"Is that the baby's heartbeat?"- Sakusa asks

"Yep that's our baby girl"- Atsumu adds

"And she's staying in for a while??"- Meian 😑

"Yes, unfortunately I'll have to go on bed rest so I won't be able to manage for a while. I hope that's ok?"- you, really hoping it's ok

"YN please you think we could ever replace you?? Plus Atsumu would never allow it"- Barnes

Atsumu nods as you laugh a little

Suddenly your belly moves as the baby shifts

"What in the hell was that??"- Hinata 😳

"Oh she's just moving and kicking. She really hates these straps. Do you want to feel?"- You being freaking cute

Hinata nods as he approaches and feels the baby as she kicks

"Omg thats SO COOL YN!"- Hinata

"Hey me next!"- Bokuto

Like I've said before, literal children Yn

The guys leave soon and you spend your night trying to sleep

Astumu stayed by your side the entire time

The next morning, you were discharged and Atsumu drove you home

Only it wasn't to your home 🤨

"Umm Atsumu... this is your place"- you say, questioning

"Yep! You're staying with me so I can take care of you"- Atsumu says getting out of the car and walking over to your door

You 👉🏻👁👄👁 uhh ok...

Atsumu opens your door, lifting you into his arm as he carries you to his apartment

He sets you down gently on the bed and kisses your forehead

"You know, I can walk right?"- You

"You're growing my baby YN and the doctor said 'only get up when you need to use the bathroom' so no you can't just walk"- Atsumu

You roll your eyes as you hear the doorbell ring

Atsumu leaves and returns with Osamu who has brought food

"Hello my future sister in law"- Osamu, just stating the obvious

"Hey Samu! It's so nice to see you!"- You hugging your future brother in law 🥺

"I brought you food and enough to help feed you for the week. Because I don't trust Atsumu to make sure your feeding my niece enough"- Osamu

Atsumu 👉🏻😐 🧍‍♂️ I'm right here-

"Oh I know you are, that's why I said it"- Osamu 🙃

The weeks go by as you slowly approach your due date

At your 37 week appointment you are cleared to go back to work as long as you take it easy

The next day you waddle your way into the gym

"Whoa YN, you smuggling a couple volleyballs under that shirt"- Inunaki 🤣

You 👉🏻 😐 and I'm leaving

"Jesus christ we just got her back! Don't make her leave!"- Thomas

"YN!"- Our two bubbly boys say running at you

Sakusa steps in their way to stop them from mauling you

"Do you two have any other speed besides full steam?"- Sakusa

Meanwhile, Atsumu is dragging in two chairs, one for you to sit and another to put your feet up

He's also brought a bag full of water, refreshments and snacks for you

"Jesus Atsumu, did you bring the bag for the hospital too?"- Barnes jokes

"Yeah it's in the car! Do you think I'll need it??"- Atsumu ready to run to the car

"Atsumu love, chill out! I'm fine"- You

"YN the doctor said the baby can come anytime now, I'm just preparing ok!"- Atsumu

"Sumu I'm not even dilated yet! I doubt it's going to happen that fast"- You

Famous last words YN 🙃🙃🙃

Ok now before I get to the labor part, I just want to say that every labor is different

Like VERY different and I'm exaggerating this for funsies

Because who doesn't like chaos???

So let's get to it!

39 weeks 🙌🏻 congrats YN you made it to "full term"

And honestly, you are SO done

You can't sleep, your back hurts, your constantly going to the bathroom, your feet hurt and your body is just done

Not to mention, your patience with pretty much everyone

Most days, you sit in your chair in the corner of practice brooding 🤣

Hinata and Bokuto are scared to approach you

Heck all the guys are 😅

But today is the day YN and oh boy is it going to be painful

You wake up that morning feeling off

Atsumu is out on his run while you go about showering and getting ready for practice

At your last appointment your cervix was barely dilated and the doctor said it could be another 2 weeks before they see anything happen

But today just felt strange

The baby is lower and there is alot of pressure in your pelvis

Your back hurts and you are struggling to walk

You lean over the counter trying to relieve some pressure as Atsumu walks in

Immediately our man is on alert

"Whats wrong? Yn are you ok?"- he says running up to you

"Yeah Sumu I'm ok. Just alot of pressure and my back hurts"- you say as Atsumu applies pressure to your back to help

He kisses your neck as he rocks you

"Maybe you should stay home today?"- Atsumu

"Nah I'm ok. Maybe walking will get this little one going"- you say

"Ok baby. I'm going to change and we can head to practice"- Atsumu says, kissing you as he goes to change

As he's changing, you feel a pressure build in your back, stay and then leave

I'm no expect YN but I think that was probably a contraction

Spoiler alert: it was 😏

You sit there after the pain leaves and wonder what exactly is happening

It's one of those "I think I might be in labor but I'm not sure and I don't want to get too excited" moments

You brush off the contractions and move to get ready to leave

At the gym, you are sitting in the office when another contraction hits

It's your 3rd one in a half an hour and you start to think you are actually in labor

But you don't tell Atsumu yet 👀

Because you know exactly what will happen

Alot of panic, very little disco 🤣

You vow to tell him of your contractions start coming closer together

Which happens alot sooner than you plan

"Hey YN! Can you bring the copy of the new roster out?"- Meian yells as you grab the paper

You make it to the gym floor just as a huge contraction hits

You grab onto the door frame and feel a slight pop as your leggings begin to dampen

"Shit!"- you cry as Meian and Barnes heads snap to you

Barnes notices your leggings dampen and looks from your legs to your eyes and back down

"Oh holy SHIT!"- he yells as Thomas, Inunaki and Sakusa come running out

"What??"- Thomas says

"Yn did your..."- Meian

"Yep, my waters broke"- you, still gripping onto the door frame

There's a good 1 minute of silence before sheer panic sets in

Meian and Inunaki run to you and help you to make sure your supported

Meanwhile, Atsumu, Hinata and Bokuto come in from the back after filling water bottles

Atsumu sees you being supported, looks down, sees your pants, looks back up and sees your face

That's all she wrote people

Those water bottles are done for because Atsumu is SPRINTING to you just as another contraction hits

"Shit YN!! Are you ok? Tell me what's happening?"- Atsumu

You breath through the pain as Atsumu and the guys watch on

"I think I've been having contractions all morning but just now I'm pretting sure my water broke or I peed myself"- you

"Eww YN really"- Sakusa

You glare at Sakusa who is now your enemy

"We have to get to the hospital"- Atsumu

"Sumu remember the doctors said it could be hours or even days! We have time-" you growl as a contraction hits

"You think you have time YN? Because those contractions are awfully close together"- Barnes

"How do you know about that?"- you, gritting through the pain

"Atsumu sent us all an emergency birth plan with details that we all had to read"- Barnes say shrugging

You 👉🏻👁💧👄💧👁

"Now is not the time to deal with this! We have to get YN to the hospital NOW!"- Atsumu in adulting mode

Meian and Inunaki support you as Atsumu runs around

Please he's so excited, nervous and scared he can't function

"Tsum tsum calm down!"- Bokuto

Everyone looks at him like 😲 because Bokuto being the voice of reason 🤨

That's strange, that's weird

Suddenly a huge pressure hits you as your knees buckle and you begin to fall

"YN holy shit-" Hinata says running to you

"It hurts so bad"- you, screaming

For real tho, I screamed so loud they said they were lucky the birthing floor was empty 😅

And imagine the echo of a gym at that 🤯

"What hurts YN?"- Sakusa

You're head snaps to him like bro... seriously

"MY VAGINA SAKUSA!"- you, screaming

"I know that you idiot I mean what are you feeling?"- Sakusa

"Hey don't call the mother of my child an idiot ya idiot!"- Atsumu, ready to fight

"WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP"- You, gritting your teeth

Any chance you had at a serene birth experience is long gone YN 😅

"Ugh I feel like I have to push"- you shout as everyone freezes

Meian and Inunaki are still supporting you

Thomas and Barnes 👉🏻 👁👄👁 here???

Bokuto and Hinata just stand there 🧍‍♂️ 🧍‍♂️

"Wait- now? You said we had time YN!"- Atsumu, panicking

"Clearly I was wrong Sumu"- you say gritting your teeth as another contraction comes

"I'm calling an ambulance now"- Sakusa says running

You feel pressure as you move your hand to lower your pants

Please everyone is about to lose their minds

"YN I don't think the gyms insurance covers this"- Meian

"Seriously are these floors even stain proof?"- Barnes

"I mean their water proof right?"- Thomas

You glare at them as they all stop talking

"You're right YN not the time"- Meian says, holding you as you move your pants down

"The ambulance is like 5 minutes away"- Sakusa says running back in

"We need towels"- Atsumu says, realizing this is not waiting

Hinata and Bokuto run 🏃‍♂️ as fast as they can and grab towels

"Ok YN, you need to breath. Remember in and out, good job baby!"- Atsumu says praising you

Please he's a rock in a tough situation

He just goes into autopilot

"Sumu, it hurts so bad" you say gritting your teeth

Atsumu checks under your shirt to see

"Oh my god ok this is really happening. Yn the babies head is right there"- he says his eyes as wide as saucers

"WHAT??"- you scream as another contraction hits

"Ok ok YN when the contraction hits, bare down on and put your weight on Meian and Inunaki"- Atsumu

"God YN, I'm so sorry some man did this to you!! I'm scheduling a vasectomy tomorrow"- Inunaki states

You scream as you feel the pressure hit a new high

"The ambulance is a minute away YN just hold on"- Sakusa screams from the doors as he waits

"Sumu I cant- I can't! I was promised drugs! You promised me drugs!"- You scream

Fun fact 👉🏻 actual quote from me

"YN, hey, I believe in you and I love you"- Sumu says as he looks up at you smiling

You nod, bearing down as you feel the pressure build and then slip from your body

"Holy shit"- Barnes shouts as the gym floods with first responders and Atsumu holds your new baby girl

"You did it YN! You did it baby! I fucking love you so much! Omg she's so perfect!"- Atsumu says crying as he holds your now screaming daughter, the ambulance crew handing him towels and checking her vitals

"Hello YN! I'm Mai, let's get you to a gurney ok??"- Mai says as you nod and Meian and Inunaki help you on the gurney, you daughter still attached by her umbilical cord

"Dad would you like to cut the cord? Then we can help YN get the placenta out"- Mai says handing Atsumu the scissors as he holds your baby close.

"Wait I'm not done yet?"- you say panicking

"It will be quick YN. After birth contractions will help"- Mai says as she helps you deliver the placenta

Atsumu hands you the baby as you look at her and start to cry

"Sumu she's perfect"- you say looking at him

"Just like you YN"- atsumu says, kissing you as you head the to hospital

✨️ Bonus ✨️

1 month later...