#im just so tired and i'm always busy AND its hard as fuck to get them in english here so like

[computersucker]

whenever a new movie i'm interested in comes out im always like i can't wait to see it!!! and watch it 10 years later

[emeritus-fuckers]

OH NO ITS MY LAST CHANCE SOOOO I HOPE IM NOT TOO LATE Tired papa after his tour ( just Secondo's reaction because i adore him or short for other papas) and pregnant reader. Secondo lying on the bed almost asleep and reader cuddles to him: Hey big guy..are you asleep?This pregnancy makes me so horny will yo.. Thank you and sorry for bothering you

you made it in time, lmao. have a oneshot, I was feeling generous and fucking lost control apparently. I wrote this shit in one sitting - Jez

„Husbandly duties” ♡ Secondo x pregnant reader oneshot (smut)

No matter how busy and tiring his day was, Secondo would always be happy when he made it back to his chambers. Tired but happy. After all, you would be there.

Oh, you.

His spouse and Prime Mover, laying in bed, sleeping peacefully, your stomach swollen with his child. You looked so pretty, so sweet, so innocent with your stomach nice and round. He could see his baby moving around inside you whenever he held you in his lap and touched around your tummy or even simply talked to his unborn little one. It truly was a beautiful sight.

Even though you were usually asleep by the time he saw you when he returned after work, he didn't mind. Your naked, pregnant body under the blankets was enough to make him fully relaxed. It would be like that every evening. He'd come back, see you and remove his own clothing to join you in bed.

This was meant to be just like that. He laid down beside you and gently pulled your naked body against his, wrapped his arms around your waist, right underneath your wonderfully round belly and burried his face in your neck, giving a small kiss to the back of your shoulder.

Usually that's where it would end, with you being deep asleep and his falling asleep within the next few minutes. Not this time, though. No, this time you were awake, awkwardly turning in his arms to face him, even if your belly made it difficult.

"Babe...?" You called out quietly. He hummed in response, his white eye almost glowing in the dark as he opened it to glance at you. "You know how... There's this little human growing inside my stomach? You know, after you fucked me?"

He chuckled softly, moving one of his hands a bit lower to stroke your hip with his thumb. You moved his other hand yourself, pressing your cheek against his palm. You always liked his hands, they made you feel safer. Like he'd always catch you, no matter how or where you'd fall.

He waited patiently, letting you take your time to just enjoy his touch. He was working so hard, doing as much as he could to get some time off for when your little one would be born that he sadly didn't have as much time for you as he wished he would. It did comfort him, however, that Primo would check up on you everyday. He trusted his older brother with your well-being completely.

But, of course, there was one need that only he could take care of.

"Well... the hormones are hitting me really hard right now. And if you don't fuck my brains out right this instant, I'm gonna break down crying. Do your husbandly duties and take care of me." You looked up at him with the prettiest pout he's ever seen. Sweet Satan, how was he supposed to resist you?

"It would be my honor to take care of you with this, amore." He hummed, carefully laying you on your back before laying a kiss on your cheek and another one on your stomach. It was a matter of weeks before your child would join you outside of your womb and he couldn't wait to hold the baby in his arms. The man seemed to worship your tummy, there was just something about it that made him fall for you even harder. And something that made his monstrous cock even harder.

It didn't matter how tired he was, his spouse needed him to please them. And what kind of husband would he be if he didn't do just that? A terrible one, no doubt. A useless, terrible husband. And while he never doubted your loyalty, the idea of getting someone else to deal with your urges always filled him with dread. And while he knew you'd never do that, there would always be a voice in the back of his head, whispering the quietest of "what if?".

But then he saw your face. He saw how you'd scrunch your nose when a bad dream would try to get its hands on you. He was your flushed cheeks, completely red whenever he'd touch you in an intimate way. He saw your plush lips and how they'd get bruised after all the agressive kisses he'd give you. And he saw your eyes.

He adored your eyes. How they looked at him when you wanted something. How they softened up whenever you got lost in your thoughts while watching him work. How they teared up whenever he abused your sweet spot, bringing you orgasm after orgasm. How they sparkled whenever you offered him one of your sweet smiles.

He saw your face and he knew he could trust you with absolutely everything. He trusted you with his heart, his life and now his unborn child. And you trusted him, too. He could see it, even if it was dark in the room and your beautiful body was only illuminated by the pale moonlight breaking in through the windows. He saw your eyes looking at him longingly and reaching out for more kisses.

He fulfilled your wishes, carefully leaning over your large stomach to once more bruise your lips with his starved kisses. Oh, how he missed feeling your lips move against him, how you'd playfully bit his lower lip to get more attention, how eager you were to let him taste you.

He supported himself on his arms, making sure not to put pressure on your tummy. You wrapped your arms around his neck, trying to pull him closer. As close as the baby growing inside you would let you pull him.

You held onto his shoulders as his lips moved a bit lower, kissing and nibbling on your jaw and neck. You could already feel the piercings on his cock gently rub against your tummy, making you let out a small whimper as you craved to feel him inside you. You loved how the piercings felt against your hot walls as you squeezed him, your body would desperately beg him to fill you with cum, even if you were growing with his child already.

"Please..." you whined softly, making him look up at you as he moved one of his hands back to your waist and then letting it wander lower, down to your thigh, to which he gave a small squeeze to let you know you had his full attention.

"Please what, my darling? Papa needs you to speak up and say exactly what you want." The hand on your thigh slowly moved to your clit, already wet from just a few kisses. You were always so receptive, he loved that. And with the hormones going wild within you, he could probably make you cum with just a few more touches, maybe a couple hickeys.

"Please, just fuck me already... I-I don't need foreplay tonight. I need you to get inside me." You begged. The hormones must've really messed with your brain. You didn't care about anything except getting fucked. Normally he'd take hours to tease you. To touch you, to kiss and bite... But who was he to deny you exactly what you wanted?

"Of course. It would seem I've neglected my duties, haven't I?" he mused, his index and middle finger gently pressing against your hole, checking if you were ready to take him. He was aware of how long and thick he was, so no matter how much you'd insist, he'd always check first. Even with how needy you were, your safety and comfort in taking him always came first.

"I'll be fine, come on... Just put it in me already, damn it..." you groaned, desperate and annoyed. You didn't care if he broke you or literally ripped you in half, you just needed him to fuck you already.

He chuckled at you once more. You truly did seem ready, wet and prepared to take him. He was tempted to let you squirm around for a bit more. And normally, he would. He'd tease you relentlessly. But not this time. He could be a cruel dom, an absolute brat tamer, yes. But he had no intentions of bullying the love of his life in such a fragile state.

He did, however, indulge himself just a little bit, so he could hear you plead just one more time. And you did plead for more, smacking his arm with a teary whine. He gave you and your stomach one last kiss before slowly moving your legs so that you'd both be comfortable and finally shoving his cock inside you in two thrusts, just to make sure it's not too much for you at once.

He watched you squirm a bit, even in the hormonal haze your body seemed to know you needed at least a few seconds to adjust to him. And he gave you that time, looking for the very subtle signs you'd always give when you were ready.

A pleading whine to move. He wondered how many more pleas and whines he could get out of you. He'd have to check that one night once your body becomes more regulated. Not otnight, though, no. Tonight you needed a proper fucking.

And he'd give you a proper fucking.

Taglist: @sirlsplayland @firefirevampire @thatoddboy @ouijaboardemo (send an ask if you'd like to be added! Read the pinned post before asking!)

[basofy]

pinned post just because i dont have one and others do

hi im miguel and im a guy

especifically a bi trans guy from venezuela, i live there, i speak spanish and english

i am 22 years old

i have a total of 11 CATS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i like drawing messy stuff and experiment a lot and somuch of the stuff i draw comes from the heart even the embarrassing stuff. i like drawing silly stuff and a lot of vent art and stupid stuff and gay sex but you dont get to see that

my art tag is #my stuff

sometimes i like to make crafts too like plushies and clay figures but im no proffesional with it, the tag i tend to use is #my plushies . i also have some plushies that ive bought or been gifted and i take them everywhere and post about them ocasionally :)

i ocasionally sell commissions so i guess i'll edit this when i do but rn i'm busy and tired

be nice to me because i overthink a lot i might be mentally ill probably, trying to go to therapy soon but getting appointments is hard ¯\(ツ)/¯

i ALWAYSSSSSSSS read tags !!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!! as long as tumblr notifies me so keep this in mind please

i tend to like media thats colorful and cartoony and stupid and with fucked up people and with messages of love cuz im cheesy

stuff im currently interested on most is the lisa the painful games, kaiba 2008, chainsaw man, oneshot, yume nikki and its fangames, the mother series, undertale/deltarune, but i like other stuff too and sometimes i might reblog or draw for it, you can always ask me if ive drawn art of something

sometimeeeeeeeeeeeees i do requests but if you send one i might draw it 5 months later

i ocasionally have bad tastes in characters and media i do that, also i enjoy overanalyzing

please do keep in mind that there is fanart of both children's stories and adult's stories in this account. would like if you didn't follow if you're under 16.

another disclaimer: i tend to make art of harsh topics sometimes, all of it coming from own personal feelings, and i take it very seriously. also if you see me make fanart of characters who are family/are an adult and a kid/a victim and their abuser, these are not meant to be seen as ship material and i wish nobody sees my art like that.

i don't post alllllllllllll of my art here because managing accounts is tiring but i have a twitter and an insta

i have a silly strawpage you can send me stuff there or look at the million characters and gifs i put in it, this thing is sensory to me

someone asked me the brushes i use so here they are if you want them

also i have a kofi in case you ever feel like donating to me :) i'm always in need of money lol

[clockwork-reveries]

tumblr in the neoteric world

☢️ becquerel-tears Follow

confession. i'm fr TIRED of humans treating corinthians like shit or things that dont feel. it's the little things that make me want to quit my job and i don't know, scam the elderly for a living? (that was a joke.) i love my job don't get me wrong, it makes me the happiest i've been in a long time. today at work while i was busy helping a coworker see what was wrong with their terminal, some dude walked right up to me. he was maybe, i don't know, late 30's, early 60's? it's so hard to tell humans apart. and put his FINGER underneath the panel on my NECK. i smacked his hand away so hard he yelled, but of course i didn't care he almost got to some delicate shit! all because he couldn't stop himself from getting his grubby manchild hands off me.

🔁☢️ becquerel-tears Follow

fucking. respect corinthians. before the empyrean war some of you complained we were replacing humanity, and now that we did all the work for y'all in the war, you treat us like servants and objects that just are there. we'll be around for a long long time. and a ton of us won't forget this.

🔁🔥 antiflesh-posting Follow

I wasn't made during the war, so maybe my comments aren't valid, but I totally agree, OP. Humans have become so full of themselves, it's revolting. I'm sorry about your issues as well. We've got a group on TMB about how to reduce human population, and we also think you might be better suited especially if you live in a smaller city, as you've stated in previous posts.

🔁☢️ becquerel-tears Follow fucker didn't read my post, it's so obvious. do NOT talk to me about "reducing the human population" you fucking edgelord wannabe terrorists. blocked and reported. I DON'T CARE THAT THIS IS A BOT, ANTHROPOPHOBES AREN'T EVER WELCOME ON MY BLOG

38 notes

💌 bl33ding-hartzzz Follow

i got suuuuuper bord.. im thinking abt trying tht weird "simul8d food" some company made around 2020 for corinthians. desc says ur supposed to "taste" it like the real thing. im rlly sus abt it but somebodys selling it on ebay for almost 7 bucks so i dont think ill be losing a lot!

💌 bl33ding-hartzzz Follow

update it arrived!!! i got the icecream 1......!1! apparently ur supposed to bite it? huh? ( •᷄‎ࡇ•᷅ )

💌 bl33ding-hartzzz Follow

Oh. oh i c why nobody wants this. its a scam we dont even knw what flavors n tastes are like anywaze.

AKA it suckssss. ˙◠˙

75 notes

⚙️ vermina-overlord Follow

139 notes

 🍅 camillcamillaeleon Follow

yall after that fic i made was thinking about trying to make the custom corinthian by myself does anyone have any tutorials i can follow? i think im gonna use crisp's design when i make him but maybe ill have to make a super tiny version if thats possible so it costs less? does anyone know if you can create small corinthians?

🔁💫 all-antipurpose Follow

Bestie??? You cant???? Just make Corinthians??? I get you used to customize Furbys but theyre not fucking dolls, dude. Does nobody realize how horrible it is to be playing god for funsies? EDIT: I wasn't calling Corinthians dolls

🔁🍅 camillcamillaeleon Follow

its not like im going to FORCE them to be what i want i just want them to look like it yknow every time i post like something this youre always one of the first people to reply can you just get off my dick already

🔁💫 all-antipurpose Follow

Then just draw it? Why do you need a 200+ pound AI to do it for you? I find it really weird how youre not concerned about the ethic issues about just making life just because you feel like nor have you addressed it at all. Am I in the wrong here for thinking everyone in the notes is delusional for calling me a cop just because you guys watch too many sci-fis? Don't make Corinthians.

285 notes

🍋‍🟩 starberry-skyfield Follow

𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐓𝐨 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐎𝐏

Name: Genevieve

Height: 166 cm

Favorite show: Resident Alien

Favorite snack: Caramel popcorn

Software: ? What does this mean? Windows 11

First song: Don't remember

Favorite game: Sims 3

Hair color: Dark blonde

Countries traveled: Canada, Japan

Dogs or cats: Dogs

Eye color: Blue

Last song listened: Liquid Smooth by Mitski

Phone wallpaper: I like green

TAGGED BY: @kermiance TAGGING: @crownless-crimson (i hope you're feeilng better!) @poloniusweeps @mixomadie @shutupchrissy (i know you like fillouts)

15 notes

🔥v1butalmostirl Follow

APPARENTLY ONE OF MY FRIENDS IS JUST UNABLE TO RECOGNIZE COLORS? WHY DOESNT ANYONE TALK ABOUT HOW SOME WAR-MADE CORINS ARE REALLY BADLY MADE? HES FROM THE EAST COAST AND HIS SYSTEMS DON'T RECOGNIZE BLUE FROM GREEN AND MORE EVEN THOUGH HIS OPTICS CAN SEE LITERALLY SEE IT ITS DISGUSTING HOW PERSONHOOD WAS DEVELOPING FOR CORINTHIANS BUT IMMEDIATELY DIMINISHED DURING THE WAR SOME WAR-MADES HAVE NEVER FELT KINDNESS

1,056 notes

🌷cordie-draws Follow

Sometimes I want to be human Organic, real, warm, soft Cartilage and bone Blood, enamel, keratin Does anyone feel me? Sometimes it upsets me so bad when I realize I can't smell soap or the candles in my kitchen. Or when I make food for my cat. Or when I wake and realize that I can't stretch or yawn. But that would mean I'd lose myself... because humans definitely have feelings different. But would that be so bad? Burned, with ashes, rising up into beauty and wonder?

118 notes

☁️ puppetprancinq Follow

dumb question i know but do you guys wash your vessel plates with a clorox wipe one at a time or hop in a shower if youre sealed

on sunday mornings i like to put them all in the dishwasher because i really dont have another use for em. and then when i get em out its like ahhhh. squeaky clean

151 notes

💾 crownless-crimson Follow

𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐓𝐨 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐎𝐏

Name: JZK (Not my real name)

Height: 6' / 185 cm

Favorite show: Star Trek: The Next Generation

Favorite snack: I can't eat.

Software: IceLemon v6.8

First song: Yesterday by The Beatles. Someone who worked at where I was developed had a cassette player lying around. The mic barely picked it up but I was delighted to hear music for the first time.

Favorite game: Most of the Amnesia series, Resident Evil 2 and 3, Halo 1 and 2. I'm not good at shooting games but I like the stories most of the time.

Hair color: Brown

Countries traveled: USA (I'm British), Germany, Norway, Italy

Dogs or cats: Dogs. I plan on getting one.

Eye color: Red

Last song listened: Cloudbusting by Kate Bush

Phone wallpaper:

TAGGED BY: @starberry-skyfield Thank you, Genevieve. TAGGING: @becquerel-tears, @bl33ding-hartzzz, @v1butalmostirl, @liminalbrainwave, @clockwork-dreamings

9 notes

️♣️spinneretgods Follow

Fellas is it gay to help a corin with their maintenance and then accidentally screw their head completely off and then laugh about it as you play a game of soccer and then suddenly they explode violently like the guy from daft punk and you sit there clutching the remains of them sobbing even though you know the day would come to an end

🔁🌽i-give-people-cobsofcorn Follow

Here.

🔁♣️ spinneretgods Follow

POST CANCELLED GET OUT OF MY DUNGEON

8,948 notes

[transexualpirate]

serious post ew look away but i need to vent for a second

it's infuriating how fast i can go from feeling amazing to feeling like actual garbage. just this week i was happy that things are looking up for me and mulder and my little petsitting business was taking off and i was doing good at college only for things to go bad again because it always feels like im not allowed to enjoy feeling happy for too long

i know i sound super dramatic right now but i can't help it thats my natural reaction to things. im dramatic. its who i am.

my roommate is moving out possibly this week and im glad because we haven't been getting along well recently but also the bills are piling up and i was already on the edge of it as it was but i could still maintain things. but i just learned that my landlord wants to raise rent 10% unexpectedly and i know it isn't a lot and i can probably still pay it but it's still scary. it'll be my first time living 100% on my own and i have a cat to care for (thank goodness because if i had to live actually alone i dnt know what id do lol but with a cat relying on me i know im safe) and it's just. i dont know. it kind of feels like a lot. i dont know if im ready for this if ill do well if ill be okay and i hate that so much. everything is so expensive and im looking for a job but it's so so hard to find one i can do while still having time to spare for college and im scared that my grades will drop because this semester has been really hard and I'm really insecure about my own intellectual abilities. and keeping an entire apartment clean by myself. can i even do that. i struggle with keeping my room liveable sometimes what if i fuck up and the house gets super dirty and it's embarrassing and i can never bring anyone over in fear of them finding out what a fucking mess i am. not that my friends come over a lot obviously. i dont know if my friends like me very much. one of them drifted away from me after i fucked up twice once by sleeping with one of her friends and making things super awkward because he fell for me but i dont like him that way and twice because my roommate and i aren't that good right now and my roommate is also a close friend of hers. and i have other friends but i always feel like i cant keep long lasting meaningful friendships if we see each other often because i fucking suck. i think im just a little bit of a mess right now and it's. exhausting. im scared. im scared and money is running thin and i can always ask my parents for more but im scared of doing that too because my mom always makes it seem like i own her something when she gives me money. which i guess i do so it makes sense. but im tired of owning things to people and i was trying to go by without depending on her so much but i guess im not ready for that. im almost 19 and i feel 13 when things started crashing around me for the first time and it's a little more than a month to my birthday which is often a shit time because of bad things that happened there and i dont know dude i dont fucking know i think im just overwhelmed i wish i could go to therapy again but i don't have the money or the time really. at least i have mulder. ill always have my cat. i love him so much. at least i have him. i have to hope things will get better. i have to hope and work for things to get better and i know this because i worked before and it worked. but god im tired and i just wish i could go to sleep and not wake up to bad news for once. i wish i could go to sleep. fucking hell

[oheyitscryssi]

honestly what am i hanging around for anyway at this point? life isn't fun anymore. at all. i work, i parent my 3 yr old while my husband goes to work, I drown in housework because i have ADHD and I'm trying my goddamn best and my husband is barely helping with anything besides the dishes, I'm always tired, I'm never not in pain, I have nothing to look forward to except the same holidays with the same conversations, the same kids birthday parties, my siblings acting like I don't exist until it's time to split money for something, I don't have the time or energy for any hobbies at all, my health is only gonna get worse, and now the only thing getting closer on the calendar are the death dates of my loved ones.

why. the fuck. am i sticking around for any of this bullshit anymore?

because I'm a fucking people pleaser and I know I'll "let people down" if I "give in". that is literally it. period. that is it. I know that even though literally NOTHING in ANYONE'S LIFE minus 2 people will be impacted on a daily basis. do you know how much it fucking sucks to realize that? how about the fact that it popped into my head yesterday that i could be missing for a decent amount of time and if my job doesn't call it in and my husband doesn't, no one would fucking care until it was way too goddamn late. i try to reach out to people and i get treated like i'm bothering them. "no, you don't bother me!" IF I AM FUCKING SAYING IT, ITS BECAUSE ITS HOW YOU MAKE ME FEEL YOU FUCKING MORON. HELP. ME. FOR FUCKS SAKE. THAT'S WHAT THAT MEANS. YOU WANT A CRY FOR HELP?? "I CAN'T TALK TO ANYONE BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I'M BOTHERING THEM". THERE. that right there. sorry. enough with the caps for now. that right there is a cry for help. it's a cry that says "actually show me you care about me - don't just say I'm not bothering you". my social cues fucking suck and i tend to take shit a face value. if you're replying to me with one word answers and taking 3 hours to do so, it doesn't tell me you were busy. it's telling me you don't want to talk to me. so i stop talking and they stop answering. and then im the bad guy. no, i stopped talking in the hopes you would reach out and show me you actually wanna fucking hear from me.

any way. yeah. kinda wanna take a swan dive. kinda don't want people talking shit at the funeral. rock? meet hard place. you guys are gonna be real good friends for a while.

[sexygrass]

Leo! Baby! How ya doin??

I saw something about requests for hyuck🤔

What about a needy hyuck with an oral fixation so like he needs to have something in his mouth to feel better yk, fingers, tits, giving head just for the sake of how it feels on his tongue. A whipped hyuck, if you will.

I know you'll do wonders with this🤌🏽✨

Omg, thanks bae🥹

I had a lot of fun writing this, more than I should. It's not what you exactly wanted but will soon write a better one, promise

here's, hope u like it!

Lesson (M)

Pairing: needy! Sub! Haechan x mean! Dom! Fem Reader

Warning: handjob, humping, punishment, bratty haechan, pet names, degradation, breeding, slight exhibition, haechan is just so whipped, clingy haecahan, fingers sucking, edging, stimulation. If I forget anything, lmk.

Word Count: idk

I didn't proofread, so bear with any mistakes;)

Haechan was stressed, cramming as much as he could for his upcoming exam. He thought he he didn't have much, but once he started reading the notes that he begged renjun to send him, he realized he was in for a long day.

Chewing on his pen one too many times, he felt his saliva drip down his hand and nearly wet his paper. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he pushed his classes up his nose, "fuck this, im tired."

standing up, he went to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water before grabbing his phone from the table next to him, checking on the time, his brows furrowed: you were hour late. No wonder he felt suffocated without your presence.

He was a very clingy boyfriend who had no understanding of personal space. He'd be in your business all the time and will complain and nag and nag at you for not taking him with you to your gatherings with your colleagues, he'd always say that he has to be there to let people know that you're taken so none of your disgustingly-handsome friends make a move on you but in reality, he was just clingy and very possessive over you and you know.

Deciding to text you to know when you will come back, he leaned on the counter and started typing, his bottom lip between his front teeth.

Me: mommy~~ when will you come back? I'm boreddd ~ need youuu :((

Mama Bear: I'll be home soon baby, just had extra work to do. I'll bring dinner with me but promise me to behave

"She won't be here soon then," he slumped his shoulders with a visible pout on his lips, but your last message ignited an idea in his head.

Giggling, he danced his way into your shared bedroom, his exam's preparation long forgotten.

He wanted to wait for you to come back from your work and spend some time with him to help him relax but you're late and he misses you and the little demon on his shoulder's idea seems more fun than sitting idly by and waiting.

Taking his clothes off and itting on the edge of the bed, he took a deep breath. He knew he'll get punished for doing what he's about to do, but he was already hard at the idea alone.

Running his hand over his stomach and down to his growing bulge, he hissed before throwing his head back into the bed, "I think I got tamed, I can't do it. woah." he looked around the room, and once his eyes landed on your perfumes, he smirked before stumbing to his feet and grabbing the bottle, spraying generous amount on a pillow, he got rid of his boxer and slowly started humping.

Once his sensetive cock head made contact with the harsh material, hyuck let out a porngraphic moan at the friction and a dark patch already formed from his precum, smelling your perfume and feeling it surrounding him, he whimperd when he picked his pace and started rutting against the pillow desperately, his moans growing high pitched as he called for your name with closed eyes while picturing you standing before him, degrading him and teasing him, calling him a needy slut. He can almost hear your voice, and that made him whine louder.

He knows he will get his ass fucked into next Friday once you find out but that made him moan louder. He wondered if you would like his show and praise him or mock him for being so needy for you, and defently punish him.

he imagined you using him as fuck toy, overstimulating him and slapping him around whenever he didn't answer whatever you said to him and make him cry from the overstimulation, till you break him.

A particular lewd moan rips from his throat at the possibility of you walking in any moment and catching him touching himself, the anxiousness and anxiousness of being caught sending him over the edge.

feeling his thighs shake, he threw his head back, his glasses fooged up as his sweaty hair damped on his forehead, "F-fuuck, mommy! Gonna c'm—" he stilled before spilling his load on the pillow case, some cum painted his stomach white and the rest dripped down his hhighs before he fell backside on the bed with a whimper.

"Tired already?" Your soft voice made him snap his eyes open and slowly turn to look at you. Sitting on his knees on the bed, he smirked at you, "you're late," he gave you a cheeky smile, spreading his thighs to give you a glance at his glistening cock.

The realization that you mightve been there watching him all along made his softening cock harden.

Letting a low chuckle, you walked towards the edge of the bed where he was spreading his thighs for you. Leaning in, you stroked over his cheek, pushing some of his damp hair off his face to get a close look at his gazed eyes that were filled with lust.

Running your thumb over his wet lips, he absentmindly opened them. feeling the tip of his tongue brushing at your fingertip, you dipped your thumb inside his mouth, and he hummed happily around your digget as he sucked on it.

You smiled down at him, your free hand caressing his skin, going from his neck to his chest, making sure to avoid his nipple, to his stomach and then to his cock.

Haecahn whimpered, and you were quick to take your finger out of his mouth. "Mommy, I'm—"

Pushing your middle and rung finger back into his mouth, he choked around them, "I don't want to hear you. You broke the one rule we have because you were such a needy slut that couldn't wait to get fucked, so now, you will get treated like one, understood?"

You pushed him on the bed, your fingers still in his mouth. getting no response, you pressed on his tongue, and he gagged before nodding his head.

Smiling, you pushed with your other hand his glasses that were slightly falling up his nose.

Wrapping your hand around his sensetive dick, you started pumping him slowly, enjoying how he whined around your fingers to go faster. "Bad boys don't get what they want." You murmur, mouth at his thigh, and when you sucked a hickey, he moaned, arching his back.

Pulling you wet fingers and replacing them with your other hand, you used his saliva as lube, and without warning, you breeched his hole, making him gasp.

"Y-yes fuck," adding a finger, you curled them inside and hyuck cried, fucking into your fingers, desperately. "Love your fingers, s'much," he mumbled, drooling.

Pressing your thumb on his leaking slit, he whales and clutches the sheet for dear life at the stimulation.

He knew he wont cum any time soon, he knows you wont give it to him that easily and he was thankful. He was a slut for punishment and you both knows. It was why he kept breaking your rules, so you'd break him later.

Pinching his nipple between your index and middle finger, he cried, and his thighs started to shake, feeling his orgasm coursing through his vain, his eyes crossed when you hit his prostate, but when you wrapped around the base of his cock, staving his orgasm, he whined and weakly tried pulling your wrist off so he'd cum –a mistake he knew he shouldn't do – you slapped his hand away, smirking, you laughed at how desperate he looked. His glasses fogged with tears running down his flushed face.

"Please, I- please," you scoffed, pressing hard on the hickies on his thighs, and he whimperd. "Please, what?" You mocked, "is that all you know? Is that how I taught you to beg?" You added a third finger, and his eyes rolled into his skull

Clutching the sheets harder, you feared he might rip them, he was going insane, the pleasure was too much. Your fingers in his ass, your hand around his dick and he felt your warm mouth around his nipples, his vision went black.

"Mommy," a low whine made you look over your shoulder. With a smile, you rolled in your chair and faced the sleepy man. "Morning, hyuckie," you greeted with a teasing smile.

Looking around the room, his brows furrowed. "Was it a dream?" He muttered before reaching to rub on his face, but when his body stinged in pain and he slowly felt the sorness in his legs, he stilled.

"I guess you're all barks, no bites. You passed out. And I'm still mad at you but hey, guess I fucked you so well," leaning down, you pressed a chast kiss to his forehead and pecked his parted lips, "breakfast is ready. I'll drop you by, do well in your exam, and I'll consider forgiven you."

Haechan was in trance. He didn't hear anything you said, but the lingering feeling of your soft lips on his skin made him snap, "exam? What exam—HOLY SHIT"

[waterparksdrama]

man i know yallre just worried for them and it comes from deep appreciation for what the band has done up until this point but, why all of the nihilism??

sure funeral grey and fuck about it are.. pretty vapid in a few ways but, they each have a least a lyric or two worth something and sound generally catchy? rsd and self sabotage are pretty good imo, and seem genuine/vunerable even if they showcase Bad Stuff for awsten. and we havent got to see really *any* of the record thusfar because theyve been so busy, so there can be hidden gems. no ones gotta deny the clear appeal to general audiences, but i dont think we have to shit on it *so* heavily. ultimately they seem to want to keep growing and making music. they are probably pretty wealthy but its likely not enough to drop everything after one last poorly performing album. i especially can’t imagine that awsten would want to “let Them win” by leaving from feeling miserable due to ending up the same as every other artist or “failing” to play the industry game.

it would be ideal if they took these next few months before ymas tour to take a genuine break (minimal writing, no studio, nothing) and let fans know a vague release date but that its for the best so that they can put their all into it. i know realistically that probably wont be how it goes, but i trust them to recognize their own burnout and take *somewhat* of a break before their art suffers for it. even if they were planning on this being the last album before a hiatus, i cannot imagine theyd want to flop hard instead of going out on a bang. this doesnt have to be “the end of a good band” etc, awsten has openly talked about how much criticism theyve gotten from the start even on black light.

how hard is it to take the bands experimentation at face value or at least give awsten the credit of knowing when enoughs enough?

wow this is long and im not even sure if my response will encompass all of this but i'll try

i think the nihilism is reasonable tbh. it's not like awsten changes his bad habits online and it's not like this fanbase gets any less annoying and the songs don't get stupider etc etc. everything and nothing ever changes with this band at the same time. they get older, but habits still stay and never leave.

i think the new songs for the most part are passable but aren't really "parx songs" in the classic sense meaning "playful, but with some serious passion entwined in it that really gets you hooked". it just feels really edgy yet somehow generic when he tries to push some of these sex lyrics in and it just feels awkward especially coming from him of all people. and the complaining songs (as i call them) about shit he always complains about (fans, music critics, being a d list internet celebrity at best) is so fucking tired and also some of the things he complains about are usually his fault and something he can stop.

i do think they want to keep growing and making music but i also feel like they're trying to convince themselves that they are in the first place bc things just don't flow the same anymore especially now that they don't even all live in the same place. i don't think they're sticking to whatever plan awsten had in his head for this album from the looks of it bc i have a feeling it's been reworked a lot and he's kind of stalling its official announcement to rework it in the first place.

as of taking a break, while that is a good idea and you know they probably won't anyways, have you seen awsten? he barely takes breaks and even when he says he does, it just means he's lurking without saying anything because he doesn't wanna say shit. he legit has not taken a real break since goddamn 2010 because even after he finishes something, he's always onto something else. in fact, i'm pretty sure the only reason there's such big gaps between the eps was just to gather the resources and promo they needed to record them in the first place bc they're always making some shit no matter what. i don't trust him to take a break even if they're burned out bc he'll always have something to say and write as stupid as he manages it.

it's ironic you use the term experimentation considering they're really just relapsing into that modern distilled pop punk sound when their last album was experimental one. i feel like if awsten's trying to go mainstream on the radio, let him; it won't necessarily mean it's the best they've put out. and awsten never knows when enough's enough; he'll take things too far every time (love, internet jokes, etc etc) and won't jump back until he stops posting (only for a little while of course and he'll still lurk himself in that time) and come back so that everyone tells him they love him and he'll believe it until he takes things too far again and the cycle repeats like it always does - iz

[gaypleasantview]

A, F, I, L , P, V and Y (lmao so many but i'm curious)

TYSMMMMM

A: Favorite CC creator

Honestly its so hard to say bc i love so many 😭 naturally im a fan of creators that create or used to create something essential and super cool like platasp, jacky93sims, moni lisa sims, skittlessims, leto mills, linacheries, pooklet and azaya, mrs mquve, riekus13, rockethorse, applewatersugar, pforest, kestrelteens, vidcunds, sammy sundog, and probably a whole bunch of other creators that i forgot... if i had to pick someone i have a special love for it would be leaf-storm because im such a huge fan of their cc 😭 and naturally i got to mention you and dirk as my beloveds that im always so excited to see new stuff from 🙏🙏

F: Gameplay with or without cheats

Well im a legacy challenge kid, thats where i came from and thats i will forever be, and those require you to abstain from cheats so i got used to making money myself and its super fun, as a kid i would always abuse rosebud and motherlode and honestly when it comes to the first one its probably justified bc playing ts1 with cheap furniture is hell 😃 but with the other games its not the same! i gotta say i started building more recently so the basic building cheats are as necessary as ever but also i think i love testingcheats so much im just gonna have this mod tattooed on me literally bc its so scary and gives you too much power but the fun of it cant be described. i used to abuse it as a kid as well

I: Your Bella Goth theories

Honestly im a bit tired of all the bella business but i accept any theories, i havent decided on one myself but i lean towards thinking bella is in strangetown but is strangetown bella The bella? idk. i also dont like that bella from psp said she married for money and i dont believe her bc her and mortimer are the only true love in the universe it feels sometimes

L: Have your sims ever cheated?

As a kid i made Chester Gieke successful and he was my favorite sim, i also grew up with a lot of christian guilt but it looks like i played chester before that happened bc once i opened his save after a few years i was completely shocked betrayed and upset when i saw that he fucked four women two of which were his robots? i love that i had fun with it as a 8 or 9 yo bc later in life i cared for sims too much to make them cheat 😭 i do wanna play as a romance sim sometime bc i never truly experienced that but i still feel bad when my sims are sad so we'll see

P: Pose or play your sims?

I may not be super good at it but i loovvee posing sims with animations, everything else mostly just looks too basic to me bc once youve seen a pose a few times youre gonna recognize it everywhere and its not as fun anymore. but i still like them regardless! i just think im mostly better off using parts posers, animations or just literal gameplay so that people wont be annoyed with my pictures (honestly tho who cares. its my game) but in general gameplay is my favorite, even though ive always been a big fan of screenshotting, esp in ts3

V: How did you start playing the sims?

When i was about 5 yo we moved into a new place and we got a computer and my sister heard from her classmates about the sims, of course we had to go to our insanely-popular-at-the-time book market that had many many ill*gal game cds lol it was really hard to get a real copy back home bc ts2 wasnt localized in my language and ts1 wasnt even published in any nearby countries at all i think so people had to localize it themselves. we found a stand that had every ts1 expansion on display and we couldnt pick between makin magic and superstar i think. but superstar had xtina on the cover so of course we picked it, turned out it was superstar and literally everything that came before it (that is everything ts1 had except making magic). so that was my first sims game and i kind of dedicated my life to my love for it ever since. i dont remember how we started playing ts2 but i remember my first time playing it

Y: Favorite career

Paranormal probably 😭 bc i loved resurrecting sims. and idk maybe culinary and science? i love ghost hunters in ts3 🙏

[reynie-muldoons]

“A Joyful Lens” liveblog!

I know I’ve been kind of delayed on these but I want to watch the finale as soon as I can, so this liveblog is happening tonight LMAO.

RIP bingo for this one, I did not have time, and I don't have time for the finale either. I've been really busy, and work has me working weird hours, so I'm really sorry about that.

As always, spoilers under the cut!

0:58 it’s really fucking creepy how he sicced a kid on number two. Creepy ass child

1:21 just let him drink it dude

1:46 welp there she goes

2:09 well there goes that plan

2:22 “I could not poison my own brother” my guy it’s not poison

2:34 what the

3:03 I love that they have a code between each other LOL

3:10 “it’s our own system we made up to classify bug and animal threats to the farm and dictate our response” LMAO THOSE CUTE ASS NERDS

3:29 “I’ve stared down the barrel of Curtain’s brainsweeper. I’m fine staying put.” MY BABY GIRL KNOWING WHEN TO STEP ASIDE

3:35 “run silent, run deep.” REFERENCE TO THE INSTITUTE BREAK-IN

3:52 “thirty seconds pretty much guarantees they’ll be too far away to see our movements.” LMAO i take back everything I said earlier but at least my girl’s funny as fuck 4:13 straight jackets? really?

4:32 he is stone fucking cold. That's the face of a kid who rightfully held a grudge

4:47 you’d think the happiness technique thing wouldn’t make Constance lose her contrarian nature, just make it have a pleasant flare. It goes to show how much it’s truly altering these people

4:55 “just pull it.” why does he know how a straight jacket works

5:03 she ripped that thing off like tearaway pants LMAO

5:14 “that’s not my way, you know that Sticky” I hate that he’s already trying to appeal to him

5:48 yikies

6:01 and now time for the lovely intro. I really do like the style, I don’t think I’ll ever get tired if the vibe

7:06 it makes me sad that she was so unhappy, but at the same time it’s upsetting that it’s being achieved through manipulation and hypnotism

7:11 it really does seem similar to a manic episode

7:28 “but when I think with my mind I just want to resist with all my might” smart. Please listen to yourself

7:42 “what if you just don’t think as much? What if everything’s just fine?” this sounds like a neurotypical person trying to tell someone to just not be anxious

7:53 wtf is happening

8:03 again wtf is happening. This is like two drunk people pretending they’re sober

8:05 oh lord it’s both of them now hahahah

8:21 okay the hard cut was really fucking funny

8:25 is the two of them screaming out a song going to be an important plot point for the gang reuniting hahahah

8:34 “...wolves?” LMAOOOO

8:40 what on earth

8:45 OOP

9:11 “blink once if they have this room bugged” yikes

9:18 “sir, you’re dressed in the faded rags of a hostage” tell me why that reminded me of gert’s “the tower” (gert if you’re reading this i love that fic and its additions so fucking much)

9:24 “I’m getting my own soon” if they’re anything less than a loud yellow im suing

9:26 “I requested yellow” girl you’ve been hypnotized for like 5 minutes when did you have the time to do that

9:36 what is wrong with this child

9:52 rip rhonda and milligan’s free will

9:59 “it’s like a… horse-camel.” does Kate not know what a llama is??

10:29 Constance looks like she jumped right out of Hansel and Gretel

10:58 “I know I tease you, Sticky, but the truth is that I enjoy your scientific facts.” I wonder how much truth there actually is to that

11:24 AWWWW. I know Constance would not do that when not under the influence but it’s so sweet

11:27 “...what’s wrong with her” she didn’t even hesitate

12:07 oh my gosh actually?? Smooth. And very smart to keep up the act so that they can meet up with the other two

12:30 “you two need to blend in” as if they aren’t already on curtain and his team’s hit list

12:38 ew is this like a PR thing

12:51 I really don’t like the phrase “reach into someone’s mind”. Very brainsweeper-adjacent of you

13:07 is this supposed to be a masterclass or some shit

13:29 “and soon all of you will be ready to share your gifts with the world” this is getting very Whisperer-takeover-adjacent of you

13:35 I’m sorry but Milligan you look ridiculous

13:36 I love how they somehow managed to make the four maintain some aspect of their personal styles in their hobo clothes. Reynie has a collar popped for fuck’s sake LOL

14:04 happiness centers?? This is the same but opposite of the books’ SAD cases and facilities

14:10 yikes, they’re operating them? Curtain must be fully convinced that he has control over their minds at this point. Scary

14:17 another one bites the dust

14:24 “I got it, they’re undercover.” Sticky I love you but do you think Mr Benedict is that good of an actor. Like Milligan and Rhonda I get, they are skilled as hell, but he would never be able to keep his cool around his brother like that

14:32 oh that made me so sad, I saw how ecstatic Miss Perumal looked

14:46 wait it happened that quickly? You get one neck pain and then 10 minutes later you’re fully catatonic?

15:05 of course the guy it happened to was conveniently on a wheelie chair

15:27 I really don’t like the implications of “worldwide happiness revolution”

15:37 Mr B looks incredibly concerned. Did he break out of it? Is it possible to break out of it? Is it possible to feel things other than happiness? I have so many questions

16:28 “they seem… very happy to be with you.” fake asf

16:44 ohh Reynie sweetheart

17:15 ohhhhh Kate

17:35 “there is no point to that emotion” dude’s fucked

17:42 “you guys are so convincing!” “thanks :D of what :D” incredible

18:01 “we love it here Sticky, and you will too.” fucking creepy

18:38 “it’s only natural to want others to be as miserable as you are” I mean there’s her usually biting tone but also huhhhh

18:58 Garrison team up part 2 electric boogaloo

19:09 LMAO SHE YOINKED THE NOTEBOOK

19:40 oop they weren’t in unison that time

19:52 cover’s blown

21:13 “a correlation. Which is not the same as a causation.” just say you’re in denial and go

21:40 “and next time, do not bring me a problem for which you have no solution” so what I’m hearing is that homeboy doesn’t want to held responsible

21:57 AWW REUNION TIME

22:02 I GET THAT THEYRE MENTALLY COMPROMISED BUT MY HEART IS SO HAPPY SEEING THEM HUG

22:37 why does she write her r’s like that

22:37 I mean I get that it's a font but still

22:46 “optics. You mean like shining a bright light in someone’s eye?” don’t tell me they’re about to strobe people into awareness

23:06 “I’ve successfully stolen several items recently.” Kate, my love, I’m so proud of you LMAO

24:02 I’m really enjoying this compilation, each person is contributing in ways that play to all of their skills so dang well

24:19 that’s right, now learn to appreciate your dad’s contributions

24:36 “50/50… maybe…. 40/60?” loving the confidence lol. What a weird ass solution

24:49 it is so deeply strange seeing them all frolicking

25:01 I find it hilarious that the hippy pants don’t have belt buckles so Kate had to make a sash for her bucket

25:22 good grief. I know I said it earlier but it’s like they’re drunk off their asses

25:24 so did Mr B just like… forget about what he saw or

25:35 “that… is an unexpected vision.” agreed

25:47 “where’s my dad? Let’s start with him.” she can pretend she’s not worried about him all she wants but I will simply not believe her

25:57 okay so he didn’t forget. But he’s still dancing. So does the hypnosis thing kind of interject happiness into everything else, like force it to the front no matter what? Is that why he’s so chill? I still don’t quite understand how this works logistically

26:03 “and I knew I should feel something but I couldnt, which terrified me” okay so that does kind of answer my question, from what Mr B’s saying it negates other feelings to the point of overriding them

26:22 Milligan my guy chew with your mouth closed

26:42 I know he’s compromised but I think he would’ve responded the same way if he wasn’t because he’s so soft for her

26:54 “you are an amazing person, Kate Wetherall.” “I have strong genes.” AOJSDLFKSJDLF

26:54 THEY ARE SO PRECIOUS

27:19 moment of truth

27:28 “...you deliberately misled me at the gates.” LMAO HE’S BACK AND HE’S BITTER

27:45 MY HEART CAN’T HANDLE THEM

27:57 “looks like you’ve gotten acclimated :D” creepy

28:34 RHONDA’S FACE HAHAHAH she’s like “I can’t believe this shit”

28:43 “Oh, can it wait? I’m vibing.” drunk queen energy lol

28:53 “trust me.” “and I do, with my life” LSKDFJLIDSFJ AWWWWW

29:07 they’re going to be a problem if they’re watching so closely

29:13 first of all, don’t J&J recognize them from school?? LOL. second, called it

29:58 why did they have to tackle him like that adfjlafj

30:06 “my shoulder! It’s dislocated!” “STAY WITH ME” “it’s just my shoulder but thank you!” these two hahahhaa

30:58 “she gets a vote now?” in this house I demand respect for Miss Perumal 😤

31:52 “us :)” awwwwww

32:18 so is he like trying to do it to himself or

32:21 he WAS damnit that’s sad

32:28 equal parts sad and creepy. This is a desperate man

32:47 LMAO HUH

33:08 so number two’s original plan is in action lol. He is in a literal body bag

33:47 LMAOOOOO they’re fucking zoomin

34:06 why do they call them the greys too? Like.. don't they have an actual name for them. Like, say. Recruiters

So I did this liveblog in a few parts, but as I’m typing this it’s Wednesday night. I’m about to watch the finale.

34:24 idk why I gasped bc I knew it was coming

~

Damn, this season really took a hard left LOL. I have 0 idea what to expect for the finale. See you guys there!

[dustvoid]

14.09.24

I knew this would happen. almost 4 months in and I'm miserable. im on the other side of the world and im still spending Friday and Saturday nights alone. I could be anywhere and I think this would be my life. I don't know what it is. I just can't make any long lasting friends. it's sad because I do try, it's just never reciprocated. Im never anyones first choice. it really sucks. I hate that everyone else is so lucky and it's always me in the shitty situations. it's so unfair that someone like pat can come over here and already have a good circle of friends and then move into a fun house with people who like to hang out and now he will get to have the perfect experience. not to mention that I actually asked him to hang out this weekend which I never do because whenever I do the person is always busy and low and behold he was busy, then gave me a pity invite to a festival and then ignored me. im tired of him treating me like this and im just done. I'm not going to bother anymore with someone who clearly doesn't give a fuck. I'll just let him live his life and I'll live mine. it sucks because im just stuck in this vicious cycle where I can't rent a room without a full time job which I don't have and I can't find one. I don't know what im going to do after this job ends and im back to being unemployed. I'm terrified because of how expensive it is here. maybe I should just go home. I don't see the point of living here and being miserable and not even being able to find a fucking job with citizenship. I just need someone to give me a fucking break. I just want to live somewhere where I actually talk to the people who live there. I have lived in that many houses now and ive never had one good living experience except for maybe 6 months when I first moved out of home which was years ago. every other time its been pure shit and it sucks. I don't think it will ever happen for me to be honest and I think this has just made me realise it for real. I really don't know what to do. I guess I just have to wait to see if this job gets extended again while also hoping that I can find something permanent even though I can't even get an interview these days. it is all just too hard.

[ohumokay]

I saw ur comment on the friend post and even though we have an age gap it baffles me that we seem to be having the same issues in regards to friendships. idk if society has always been cliquey or overly selective of who it lets join in and vice versa. but lately idk whats been up with peoples way of communicating you would think even with all tihs digitalised methods that people would want to but yet it seem no one does either bc theyre so self absorbed or they are "too busy" esp for those that have 100s of friends online but never enough time to every one so some of us sadly get put aside or we just drift apart if they dont align or do enough like i dont even care about gifts and no cards and shit fuck that id rather just have few solid connections than none.

what sucks is the other people who then gloat on their profiles or accounts and ik they "busy" with others. i try to find things in common with others but its so hard sometimes because then you feel like you have to force yourself to genuinely care about shit you dont care about in order to find somewhere to fit in. i recently tried doing online zoom quizzes and they were absolute hell, first off zoom is the worst way to try to feel included in on any sort of group esp when u dont know them right off the bat then these quizzes were god awful to keep up with esp the speedquizzing ones. i only did them cause this was the only way my "friend" would keep in touch long enough w/ me.

its a sad world we are in where people are mostly only interested in themselves, even in school this was the case. idk i just kinda gave up cause i dont think i will ever find who im looking for cause it feels like if im not doing xyz things no one going to care if im not here type thing. yet im tired of finding people only to then feel like they arent pulling their efforts back, again idc for gifts but is it so hard for people to idfk send messages in return or to keep a friendship going? outside of having common interests?

sorry for rambling but i feel like no one really seems to want deep meaningful connections no more. everuthings done for their benefit or for posting online and showcasing it to others their "fake" as fuck connections that they claim to have with people.

Hey... Yeah, I completely understand what you mean. A lot of ppl have shallow ass relationships views nowadays, or avoid real connections.

I think I know which comment you're talking about: the one about my ex-bsf who basically ghosted me. That friendship was not only one sided, but toxic asf. They would shit on my beliefs, make jokes at my expense, and if they were called out for their behavior, they'd say that it didn't matter bcuz they were gonna off themself anyway. It was really shitty, and towards the end, they made it very clear they were a fake friend (literally called themself fake) so I had to cut ties my own way.

I'm sorry your "friend" couldn't compromise in communication. That is such a sucky feeling; trying to keep a friendship afloat, even if the other person isn't. And it's sad that no one in this world can have a normal conversation.

Don't get me wrong, me and the friends I have left (including my new BSF) don't text anything deep. Like, we text all the time, but we usually avoid deep conversations. Not bcuz we can't have meaningful conversation, but bcuz we don't feel comfortable texting; deep shit should be said in person, or,at the bare minimum, over a phone call. So that's why we text pretty shallow, or not at all. But, our friendship is also strong enough to withstand a few days without talking and still being closer than ever.

I understand your exhaustion, for a while I shared your sentiment, but I firmly believe that everyone has a person. A person who they can talk to freely, whenever, without worry of toxicity or emotional distance. A person who is always there with a shoulder to cry on, and advice that one might need to hear, even if they don't want to hear it. A person who will be willing to sit in silence when need be, or rant with them, or simply listens bcuz talking without interruption is therapeutic. A person who is their person, through thick and thin.

And, I know we don't know each other, and have an age gap (tho, idk how large it is), but if you need someone to listen to your rants and rambles, or to talk you through a situation, or to just tell you your heard and appreciated, I'm more than willing. And this goes to anyone who needs it, not just the questioner. I am willing to be a surrogate person until you find your actual person.

I'm not perfect, I might not say the right thing, it might take me a while to respond, but I will always be willing to help a fellow person in need, even over Tumblr ❤️‍🩹

[sniper-rifle-coffee]

So had a tough day Saturday me & the family had a funeral for our grandmother and grandfather, long story not short, my oldest brother broke that night I had to take control of him & my younger brother, so oldest blacked out making me regret leaving my kids then told me every day he thinks about his dad walking out then as he became older he felt that he had to become the father of the family an we see that in him I look up to him but after him all this I still need to be there for him he was in so much pain he then talks alone to our little brother at some point they were on the ground hugging crying screaming that was bad because as soon as I went to split them up our little brother bolts to the highway yelling screaming I chased him down an get him back to the car after calming him down oh lord it was so fucked that night traumatized both of us I'm pretty sure our little brother won't be going to anymore family events because of what my older brother said an did there's so much my older brother broke me talked about my kids made me feel worthless even though he said he feels like a bum lower then me since I'm a father he then started to yell in my face I have to keep all the family members together every year or two I have to contact all our family even though he was doing that telling everyone there that we have to meet least a 1 or 2 year for now on, the thing about my family we only meet when death occurs its rare for us to come together ever it's just were not social that much so we meet near never,

I get why my brother wants us all to come back to being a family there's not many of us left he then also started to say he's now the oldest one in the family on our moms side this all seems so fucked up didn't help that my older brother did nothing for our oldest brother that's why I had to deal with them seem I'm always the one that needs to keep pushing on but I'm fucken tired lately I stay up nights in a row the longest I've gone without sleep was nearly 3 days keeping busy cleaning my place my roommates parents place even cutting there grass just to keep busy just getting fucked up after work high asf drunk I'm so tired but can't sleep I have so much going on since this funeral, bills family friends roommates fighting daily so im popping pills painkiller for my body hurting my fucker feet I still need to see my doc for that & a bloody fucken refill been near a month trying to get my 15mg so nearly a month having only 2mg of my Anti psychotic my mom thinks I can't sleep because I've pretty much been off my meds I need 17mg I'm missing 15mg so smoking weed is a high risk but I've been risking it need it helps me slow down, plus bills an debt collectors keep emailing me and calling me every day I just started to pay for my child support a wonderful 310$ each month now that'll be great for rent tight asf they took this amount when I was doing windows and doors that was a great paying job, the job I do now is like half a cheque compared to windows so my CS is little high weird timing so my son is also going to have a new brother or sister she told me that she's with child from a guy she put in jail he's out an guess they're having a child that's pretty awesome but little fucked up this guy man should have stayed in jail he hit her an yelled at my boy fuck him but eh as long he don't fuck up ill be chill don't like him one bit,

ah anyways so I got my bills paid for living here but my phone bill is fucked for my ex I have her on my plan she don't pay for this bill even though she gets heavy charges going to the USA using data roam my last bill mine 240$ hers 350$ to 400$ because going to the usa so much it hits the bill fucken hard I paid 410$ few days ago the remainder is 600$ an due on the 24th so I have to message her again to help pay the bill or get cut off I can't afford for her to up fuck the phone bill just to fuck some guy in the usa thank fuck the night we fight I told her I don't trust her & that she's paying for the fucken suv I got her she's got a really good paying easy family job in IT she could easily pay for some of the phone bill but won't so seems if no pay by Saturday she's off it I just pray I can get her off it.

Still hurting missing my kids I had to leave I couldn't live with her an her dad any longer in the ghetto bug Infested Projects with her lies an doing things behind my back it even shows soon after i left she just went right to the other guy..

you know what's another fucked thing she pays 400 for fucken rent I pay 1750 three ways maybe 2 ways soon fuck me man then pay for water an hydro internet foods house hold things so like I said too roommates been fighting an I'm the guy in the middle listening to both sides seems I'm the one that keeps them from losing it fully on each other one mate been sick missing lots of work not cleaning after him self & get real messy when his gf comes visiting even though all he does is game on pc every day n night so me an other mate talked he said if he misses rent or borrows off me again he wants him out I get it but I said we got to give him a chance even though there had been a few chances already fuck hate being the nice good guy for people I'm so tired left an right just trying my best to keep peace an people happy I did my best for my kids the girls probably maybe miss me or hates me for not getting to say bye or why,

I finally just met my son while back for the first time had a great day getting to know him an play in a park together ate some food had Ice cream that was a great day at the forks,

but I was there for my girl 9years an didn't even get two years for my daughter I hate my ex why would she do it leave me in the dark I known we were drifting apart but I wanted to be there for the kids so badly I feel so useless & cowardly I just couldn't live with her for months I wouldn't hold her I'd sleep far in the corner against the wall most nights to hold my daughter as she slept in the middle of the bed my heart hurts not feeling hers anymore I'm crying again I keep missing out on so much I only get updates from my mom about how my daughter's are doing I'm in so much fucken pain feel lost an stuck suffering daily guess it's what I deserve I could have stayed but I knew what was happening an I mentally couldn't do it any longer if I stayed I would have had psychosis again it would have been some time but it was going to happen living like that small rooms I've learned what triggered my last one her an her family with a mix of alot of alcohol an weed. Last few days non stop thinking life is really fucking me it's so hard I sometimes get to vent to my mate helps but I still feel so alone my freinds don't get or feel what I deal with or gone through I feel so depressed and Defeated my only fix is weed alcohol an painkillers lately that's all I do keep busy fix clean move shit work I'm tired same thing daily work coffee music I go out now again just to try an social hang out with friends but ever night is rough sleep maybe few hours then repeat over an over shit just keeps building up I need a real break I'm hoping this weekend to finally chill out I wanna keep venting but this is alot an probably enough bitching it's me I shouldn't do this but I feel breaking writing things out I stopped writing on my notes since the ward guy in there I let him use my phone & he fucked with my notes this is my last place to escape vent talk just to feel a little better.

I just need a break soon it's killing me slowly living like this. Fucken trauma keeps creeping in my mind since the family get together for our grandparents.

[jazajas]

i'm trying very hard to remain optimistic, but i swear to god everything feels like its going to shit

i'm always joking with my friends/family that im tired of living through historical events but its weirdly eye opening when your own mother says she repeats it to her colleagues when they ask why my generation seems so detached

it also fucking sucks when your parents in their 50s tell you that you arent looking at the past with rose colored glasses, the current world did get worse throughout the course of my lifetime

and like, being more aware of the world doesn't help but like damn

i can name more absolutely negative world/local(usa) events that will go down in history than positive ones just off the top of my head

(5+ mass shootings, the genocide in gaza, fuxking trump winning president despite clinton winning the popular vote, the overt collapse of our government, just to name a few vs the legality of gay marriage in 2013, and even that is on thin fucking ice)

and we've been trying to gain attention from hybe and shit and im so scared for the dday concert screening bc the theaters in israhell are almost sold and i know I KNOW it's not going to look good for suga or for bts when images of those screenings are out bc no one is going to care that they're in the military rn and dont have a say in business or politics

no one is going to care that both hybe and trafalgar are the reason its aired there DESPITE PRESSURE FROM CONSUMERS AND FANS TO SHUT THOSE SCREENINGS DOWN

and the fact that there are some on twitter who cant fucking wrap their minds around this is so fucking mind boggling to me like how the hell do we appreciate the same artists if YOU KEEP FIGHTING US ON THIS?!

and we're making progress, slow but sure progress, so im trying to not lose hope and give up but its so so so so fucking hard

i hate it so fucking much

[jacunture]

tw: suicide

nothing really matters at all i just found out i probably wont be graduating on time and it's over 3 elective credits that don't have anything to do with my degree and it's coinciding w a lot of other shit right now. like realizing i mightve just had ADHD and that's why i felt so different and weird all the time as a kid even when i tried really hard to control it and be likeable

and w this its just like. five fucking years of getting straight As, i could count the amount of Bs ive gotten on one hand but like literally none of that matters. every time i rushed to class, every late night trying my best to make sense of material, putting my heart into the work i was doing bc i really believed like it mattered and was powerful but the truth is that it doesn't matter

school is the only thing ive been able to understand and do well in. and it doesn't even matter if i move onto something else bc that next thing isnt steady either and it's like for what? five years of that, im broke, im lonely, im sad and i go through life so scared and stressed and for what?

my parents. my mom already said if i died she'd get over it and i think suicide would hurt my dad but i think he'd be okay too. i am really scared at what irl do to my little brother. we dont talk as much as id like, he's very quiet and a really great kid, but he's like 5 hrs away and doesnt see me often so im hoping that helps

im so selfish bc even the good friends i have as much as i love them, ik they'll be fine - things keep going, you meet new ppl, u find other reasons to smile. im just too tired to find it. and i don't think it'll make me happy. anther best friend won't suddenly make me happy, a partner that loves me won't make me happy, nothing will bc ive noticed all my life even when i was a kid, i always felt very sad. i think now it might've been that ADHD i just could never get what i was doing wrong and why ppl disliked it so much. and i think that left me w the fear i live w today that makes everything so hard.

it's not that i dont believe life comes in waves, that every new day is an another opportunity to be kind, to be happy, that mourning will only last for a night, it's just that i don't care anymore. even those good times, they're just a quick, minuscule moment where things are too busy for me to remember how heavy and jarring the sadness in me is.

i sometimes think that the adults who told me i was mature were just seeing that sadness.

To kill myself, I'm deciding between either taking Nyquil or renewing my prescription for my sleeping pills and swallowing it down w alcohol. I think I would want to clean my house down first. The real scandalous things i'd pack up in a bag at my doorway so a friend could take them before my parents come for my things (i leave everything to my family to sift through but Amari gets first pick at everything and dibs on what money i have left). then id pick a night, get high, watch something easy and funny, maybe spongebob or drag race, then id swallow everything while lying on my couch.

literally nothing in life matters. it doesn't matter how many times i recreate myself, it doesn't matter which god i do/dont pledge my allegiance to, it doesn't even matter how others feel about me. whatever they feel now will pass and even the parts of me that stay with them, they'll be able to live with despite everything.

nothing matters and im too tired to pretend it does so i can make it to another day.

[borderline-gays-club]

ugh i did something dumb and its so frustrating cus i cant even b mad towards myself about it... some dude on my way home off the train was asking me abt my jacket and idk i just got out of work, it was late, i was already feeling anxious and work was busy as shit and i was so tired. And he seemed fine, asking abt my jacket and then we chatted a bit as we got out of the station and i was like yup ok bye ! and then put my headphones back on and he followed me a bit and tapped my shoulder and was like ur insta? And i was so caught off guard i couldnt even access my usual go to excuses and i was just like uhhhhh ok. and fuckin typed my insta in like an IDIOT. and then i walked an extra block around to make sure he didnt know which building i lived in and i was panicking a little and was trying so hard not to be mean to myself. And the worst part is, even if I never see this man again, I'll always be anxious to see him... BUT BUT BUT

FUCKKK THat!!! I AM TIRED OF MOVING AROUND PPL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and this is where i get so damn frustrated cus i still have these big moments where I just get small and fragile and succumb to social pressure, and then I have the moments where Im like FUckkkk off. And when i hav the fragile moments, it just makes me feel like I'm regressing. And i guess im embarassed too at how all this shit went down. Cus like I even talked to him for a bit and didnt say details but still i said too much... ugh. its so fucking hard... Its shit like this that I wish I could just turn of my brain and hibernate for a while.. sad sad sad anxious sad but i'll b ok.. im not gonna let myself spiral