#im just so sick of it
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unpopular enterprise opinion: enterprise could've done without any romance at all. give me crew as family for once! stop shorehorning in some romance for the sake of it!
#star trek enterprise#rant post#scotts random thoughts#im just so sick of it#this goes for tripol#and every romantic interest archer ever had
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VENT WARNING
I want to kill myself I want to kill myself I want to die
I want to take a shit ton of Benadryl and just die in my sleep
I don’t want to be here anymore but I don’t want to leave you guys
I don’t want to be in a stupid cult
I don’t want to go to school
I don’t want to do anything
I’m. Just. Tired
If I stop posting for a while then I’m sorry. And that I’m sorry for being so selfish
#personal vent#vent post#vent#suic1de#tw sui ideation#benadryl#tw death#im just so tired#im just so sick of it#i just can't
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transphobes should have their consciousness implanted into snails and have to live in fear of birds cracking their shells open against rocks
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protip: using ai is a quick and easy way to invalidate any message you're trying to send with it =)
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if my parents dont shut up about the election istg
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I know it's a heavy topic and it's hard to talk about but that's exactly why we need to talk about it in the first place. you are an adult. that man did not "pew pew someone and make them unalived". he shot and killed them and it's so important that you say it.
#sorry we're talking about mass shootings in health#and my teacher was using sanitized tik tok speach about it#im just so sick of it#post posting
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my ideal relationship does involve playing my visual novels together and I just don't see how a man would give me that
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i feel like people are skimming over the uk riots in a way that makes me want to tear my hair out. muslims in the uk are in active danger. immigrants in the uk are in active danger. refugees in the uk are in active danger. people of colour in the uk are in active danger. asian communities in the uk are in active danger. black communities in the uk are in active danger.
there are massive far right riots throughout the country right now and people like fucking elon musk and nigel farage are inciting it and still have a platform to speak. people have used three young girls deaths, people's genuine grief in southport, to try and gain traction for their own racist bullshit and it's working.
a lot of refugee charities have been forced to close leaving many people without support, homes, funding, food, etc. if you aren't able to donate please consider sending a message via the conversation over borders campaign! it will send a hopeful, welcoming letter to a refugee in the uk. there is also a guide to staying safe here.
please do your own research and donate to refugee charities, anti-islamophobia charities, mosques who are trying to rebuild after being destroyed, counter protesters, here are some i've heard positive things about but the list is extensive; southport strong together (support for the southport victims and their families), southport mosque rebuilding, riot repair fund, middlesbrough vulnerable residents, nasir mosque rebuilding, hull help for refugees, bristol welcomes migrants,
#i know there's so much going on but if you can take a second to support these groups !!#i just feel kinda sick#i wanted to add with so many people seeing this that i'm white im british and im extremely privileged to not be in active danger right now#i don't want to take away from people speaking out about this who are in a place of danger#this was really only meant to be for my followers#but i'm glad more people get to see what's happening and donate !!!
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watching my friend go crazy over her ex/work crush(idk what you wanna call it) that has a fiancee has made me realize i need to get my shit together.
#i cant keep this up#i want to keep working here so i need to figure this out#and by 'figure it out'i mean i need to get over it#i cant keep putting all this energy into a possibility thats not even a possibility at all#every time i match with someone and we actually talk it always dies out#im just so sick of it#yelling into the void
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I was looking for a job and then I found a job and heaven knows I'm miserable now.
The Smiths
#i hate my job#i am so stressed#i keep hyperventilating before work#im just so sick of it#restaurant#waitress#Spotify
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Oh Kiyotaka we’re rlly in it now….
#oh pee#its hard being opinionated with a strong sense of justice#its so isolating from other people#i feel like such a freak all the time. all i do is try and talk to people and i bite my tongue and bite my tongue#and all i do is cause problems#bc i wont let people say horrific shit around me#i cant help it i just get so mad .#and no one ever backs me up in the situation#its always me being tbe problem.#im just so sick of it#even when im so blatently in the right im the one whose wrong#ugh.
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I'm so fucked up all the time bro
#i just want to see and touch people i am so so so so so lonely and hungry all the time#i will be going to events and whatnot regardless of the presence of my friends or lack thereof#but it still stings. you know?#it sucks having to ask for attention when i give it freely. it sucks having to say ''it's my birthday!'' when i just know everyone else's.#i text and DM and say ''hey are you free?'' and they say ''no'' and then they post about how bored they are#like i can't see them#im just so sick of it#when i die they'll all see. but i don't know when that will happen. i don't want to wait until im dead to have SOME attention#i just want a text first here and there. you know?#why do i have to put forth ALL the effort in EVERY relationship i have? how is that fair?#im not like other girls
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im sorry but i cannot stop thinking about isha's pastel memories that play during her sacrifice scene.
look at how full of colour this beautiful fuckin shot is:
it's been well established in episodes 4-6 how grim and dark the undercity has become under cait and ambessa's new rule. but look at how isha sees/remembers it - because of jinx.
jinx, who went through a severe childhood trauma that has carried over into her present self - she covers extremely destructive weapons and grenades in bright pinks and blues, neons, childlike doodles, graffiti. (joy and destruction, powder and jinx, a contrast so striking it becomes like a signature for her).
and then we see the world through isha's eyes. when we meet her in episode 2, she's running through sewers, from goons dressed in black; it's grimy and grim. and then all of her recent memories are done in these childlike pastel, almost crayon-y sketches. because what isha saw was jinx covering a dark and grim world in colours.
and so isha covered her world in colour, too.
because jinx made her world bright.
isha looked at jinx and saw the child in her. she saw powder and she saw jinx. she saw joy and destruction. and that's why jinx gave isha so much hope. isha knew the world was grim and dark - but then she watched jinx, and she learned that you can paint over all that grim darkness with neon blue spray paint.
that's why isha believed in hope. that's why in her final moments - in a scene that is lit dimly and dramatically - she sees nothing but a bright world coloured in pastels.
never underestimate the hope of a child.
#arcane#arcane spoilers#arcane s2#my post#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane season 2#arcane season 2 spoilers#sry tagging the shit out of this i dont wanna ruin the scene for anyone#jinx arcane#jinx and isha#isha arcane#jinx#god i just.#the thing about jinx's trauma that has been so poignant up until now being the exact thing that isha needed!!!#a child seeing the childlike behaviors of an adult and seeing it not as trauma but as bravery and hope#and it's WHY jinx has become this unwilling symbol of hope for the undercity. bc they *also* see her covering a dark world in colour#anyways.#i could say more and maybe i will later but. yeah#jinx made isha's world bright. im gonna be SICK
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#i feel like tge fact im apprehensive about posting this is kinda proving my point#the way everyone talks about both weight gain and weight loss is just horrendous#like idek if i could fit all i wanna say in here especially while im at work but#i so badly wish people could be normal about weight gain and talking about it#its like if youre not in some constant state of wanting to lose weight people want to kill you#god forbid you want to put on weight to feel more comfortable in your body outside of muscles and a butt#fatphobia is a given thats a whole other few paragraphs#im grateful i have mutuals and friends who are normal but ill have or hear these convos and go#ok i feel sick. why do i feel this way why do you feel that way.#anyways i think fatphobia is one of the worst things to ever happen
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Ive been told many times by so many separatepeople that I dont do things the "legit" way. For example, when I was constantly playing cookie clicker I would have the game constantly open and you could see that on my discord. Someone told me one day that I was using an auto clicker, and recently someone else told me that my current minecraftle placement wasn't that impressive because I'm using a workaround and just cheating to find out what the recipie was for the day and putting that in.
The problem is no. Both of those examples are things I have legitimately done. The cookie clicker run was from when I lived in Ireland and I was bored to teeth at work during a workplace safety seminar (we had a lab that I did not work in, it was two weeks before I moved back to the US). What the first person saw was a 6 month deep run of cookie clicker played legit, and he wrote it off as me cheating. And with the minecraftle, I played so many randoms that I solved the game for me. My algorithm in air tight. I did this almost completely on my own (with only a little help to start).
Idk what my point is here, maybe I'm just tired of people saying whatever "mildly impressive" thing i do is "fake" I even had someone tell me to my face that the image of Keanu Reeves I did was done with a machine. Which for the record, the 1068 triangles I drew by hand in Illustrator disagrees.
#im just so sick of it#brb gonna go find that picture i did on my art blog because yes#i did do that entirely by hand and it took me three weeks#when I was finishing up my senior year of college
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hell world!!!! hell world!!!! hell world!!!!
#jacob's ramblings#politics#im so fucking sick of this because its not like they actually care about the lives of children#they just hate women and need a cause to rally behind#every anti-abortion politician deserves to have been aborted
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