#im just so anxious with money
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okie dokie
Commissions Open Again!!!
hello!!!! gonna keep this short and sweet but with situation in usamerica my family dosent feel safe- most of us are safe exept for my older brother whos gonna try to immigrate to canada with a friend. the thing is neither of them have a job right now and i am worry. so! im opening commissions to raise money that can help him and our friend hopefully not end up completely dead- heres basic pricings
i can also make comics but their price would be dependent on how much comic/how detailedyoud'd like it to be
heres my kofi as well if you want to just add on- pls let me know tho so i can draw you a lil smth :>
https://ko-fi.com/miusfroggo
edit: changed prices a lil and made it all into pictors for easy
#not gonna tag with characters cause wanna be nice to tag lookers-#but pls boost if can- sorry i really want to see how many comissions i can do to raise money before hand just so i myselless anxious#my arts<3#ya im sorry- i am very privileged i just- i worry for my bro and do not want any immediate faimly hurt-#commissions shop#commission stuff#commisions open#digital commisions#art commisions#taking commisions#commission#pls-
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one thing I have learned about being poor is that you cannot for a moment stop thinking about it
#theres no peace#every little thing reminds me we are poor#seeing friends having electricity wifi heat food gas. it all costs money. and bills and fees and charges happen all the damn time#im constantly worried that i am measing up somehow or im not keeping track of my finances properly#the person handling our disability assistance application keeps coming back with question after question about my job#and i have so much doubt and fear that ive made some mistake in my answers that will disqualify us from support#and theres this sick backwards stupid thing where applying for and being on disability support is discouraging me from trying to make money#because the more i make the less likely we'll get support but i need to make money to live#its just fucked. and once we're on support i have to make monthly reports of my income so ill feel like im explaining myself all the fuckin#time#cus the system isnt built in a way that makes sense for self employed ppl who have business expenses to account for#sorry for the ranting i cant sleep#truly truly i think poverty is making me a worse persin#more anxious more resentful more jealous more miserable more spiteful#i have so little and there is so little i can do to help it#i want things in a more desparate and even childish way than i used to eant things#spend a lot more time fantasizing about magically having expendable income#not to mention the constant exponential guilt that comes from asking for help or recieving help. its guilt i need to unlearn but i feel it
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do you make enough money from selling prints in etsy to sustain your life? how are you able to afford this beautiful house and time to crochet and go on walks and all of that? i’m not asking for nosiness but because i’m trying to figure out what i would need to do in order to make my life financially sustainable… is art an option… etc
short answer i mooch off my bf <333333333333333
#long answer part 1: i make enough off my etsy to afford my stuff (and i really don't buy much) and help out w th food bills where i can etc#i hvnt been able to do much of that OR save anything for the past couple months bc i hvnt been selling much BUT . things are beginning#to pick up again and i hve new stock to add when i get back from holidays :3#i have a smallish job lined up from my agent which is exciting! but hopefully i will make enough w her doing picture books etc to be able#to pay my keep / save more etc! i hve been anxious abt money this past months but thats just more so money for me to spend on small stuff :#i also dont drive so . i dont rlly hve many outwards expenses . im very lucky to have him hes very kind and lovely !!#if i wasnt w him and he didnt hve a house i would still b living w my mama which i did since i left uni!#long answer part 2: i always make time for goofing off during my work day. always!!!#part of the joys of being a freelancer! i can do what i want!!#i can share my routine in more detail if u guys want but i dont start work until abt 2pm-ish most days bc i dont rlly work well in the#mornings. when i hve more work that might change!! i have enough on to keep me busy but im not rlly hvin 2 manage my time u kno#im very very lucky to be in such a comfortable position :3 i hope one day u can be as comfy !!#oh also. i think once the agency work kicks in i will b fine financially ! and also u can absolutely make a living off etsy when its good#its very good for me ! i was very comfy financially around xmas last year i made a lot#u can do it u can do it !! art will always sell !!
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I am really tired of a situation rn.
#fe three houses#felix hugo fraldarius#me using felix on my angy days because he is my angersona? you bet!#anyway if you want to try to get someones money or something bc you hurt your own car banging into mine#can you try to be a bit more timely with it buddy come on you hit me on feb29 !#why am i getting your insurance company calling me today !#also i would like to point out i didnt do it and neither of us were hurt and i filed a claim with my own insurance comp#and also filed a police report bc he didnt even suggest calling the cops to the scene#so like yeah hey man maybe you and your insurance company can move a lil faster or smth#literally everything that happened the day of is - according to my dad - an intimidation tactic#i look like im 15 and he probably thinks he can take advantage of a new driver but ya know! tough luck!#im just really tired and stressed over multiple things not negative so getting this on top of it was like#bro .................... anyway my phone didnt pick up for some reason so i called back and then nothing got resolved#cause the person who actually called me wasnt around to connect the line to from the guy who answered#idk man just its a lot despite my v minimal energy#got a job interview on monday tho ! and then also next week is an eye exam#and you might be thinking isnt that a good thing to get your eyes checked? you are correct but i am horrified#there are two body parts that give me absolute anxiety and eyes are one of them#and i know my eye sight is declining and im just v anxious#its fine im going to be fine i just have to be anxious about it
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#i havent gotten paid from etsy yet#and spotify automatically renewed today#and i didn't have enough in my account#so the bank charged me $20 😀#but i do HAVE the money. it's just not in my account yet#i got a reminder yesterday that it was renewing and i was gonna check to see if i had gotten paid and if i had enough in the acct#but i forgot bc i was busy packing#i didn't know they were gonna charge a fee for it 😵💫 or i would have transferred some from my savings account 😵💫#but now basically all my etsy profit has gone to my spotify subscription and the bank charging me $20 for funsies#and i didn't pay 100% of my credit card this month so i have a little left for that. which i was gonna use the etsy money for. not anymore#hahahahahahahha#i need a job good lord#and ive never been behind on payments before so now im anxious#and upset that i made some money on my own and the majority of it is going to a stupid bank fee
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no that makes total sense. i think it's cool to see your art have that kind of wide reach, but it's also nice for it to be like. well documented somehow that it originated with you if someone wanted to check, you know? like it can grow a life of its own but the roots are visible. if that makes sense.
YEAH exactly. im thinking of defunctlands video about the disney channel theme song composer and how hard he had to work to find him and all his other works. you put parts of yourself in your art and want to be seen through it, and when people dont know its yours or think its someone elses it takes away from that a bit
#extreme example ofc its just a thought i have#i dont have a real art career yet but im making all my money through comms and selling art so im like. starting to get into it kinda#so im kind of just anxious about the future in that regard bc i dont know what to expect#how to avoid getting taken advantage of etc
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/269fa70454e8de24909a53752595b0b7/fb67eae354a21606-0c/s540x810/c21689fa3b780bb64dbb4aa8a164aa4690a353ac.jpg)
HAI it’s thumbs creature with news from Marketing!! the warning sign fish stickers are up!! along with some other random stuff we found in my desk!
this is my first time doing stickers and i’m printing them all myself and cutting them out with my own weird fins im trying my best!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >* ))))>< ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
alternatively, if you donate $5 to the PCRF, UNRWA, the Palestinian Red Crescent or buy a esim for gaza and send a screenshot to this blog (not @third-king-of-salmonids this one! :3) and tell me which stickers/where to send i will :D
#I HOPE ITS WORKING this is legit my first time putting anything on a shop im anxious but then im anxious about most things so :)#i hope you like them??#im sorry the shipping costs money its bc i live in hell and am printing these all individually#like fuck i’m trusting stickermule or anything tbh#i have like 2 money and i’m saving for top surgery im not giving it to those fucks#i’m probably making negative money tbh but i kind of don’t care?? i just like sending ppl silly stickers :3
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people wanting to commission me…
#𝟎𝟎. / ooc#ive been VERY stressed over money ngl.#i just dont make enough to keep up with everything rn.#so im just 😭😭😭🤧🤧🤧 like#its a relief. i havent opened for coms like this in ages.#theyre usually just for friends-#anxious. but good anxious…#is it dorky to post like this about it?#im just happy- every little bit helps so…
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well so a certain character's name is getting added to my xkit blacklist. sorry but i'm done, that's the final straw. i don't care if your ask is about another question or topic, you do not bring up the voice actor and situation that i repeatedly have told you all not to mention to me. it's on my 'will not record' list, i have made multiple posts telling you guys to stop asking about it or mentioning it to me. this isn't a 'oh what i read about that actor doing made me uncomfy' this is 'i was friends with people he hurt, i was there when things happened, he made me and my friends uncomfortable when we were spending time with him irl, and what he did tore my friendship group apart after i had finally found a friend group'. i have trauma from it. and i feel bad saying that because he did far worse to other people, but i can't control how my brain works.
so the character's name is on my blacklist now, sorry if you just wanted to ask about the character in terms of headcannons or fanart or whatever, but all asks mentioning it will be censored and i will delete them without reading for my own sanity.
#and to answer what that last ask was actually asking (which you could have asked without mentioning the situation ive asked you all not to#metion): i dont know. i honestly dont know what to do and i dont know what the right thing to do is#i dont want to be thought of as supporting that writer because i do not support him#but i dont know what to do in regards to voicing any characters hes made or had a hand in making#i dont knwo what the correct thing to do is and i dont think theres any way to make everyone happy#i love voicing the character but i dont know if most would rather i stop i dont know#and i dont know if its wrong for me to say i love voicing him but it just gives me a lot of gender euphoria#i wont ever be giving that writer any money#but i dont want me voicing a character from one of his shows to seem like im promoting it and him#so i dont know#i know i keep writing 'i dont know' but i really dont know what to do /gen#full honesty i have an audio for that character in my queue already scheduled to go up that i recorded a month ago#i dont want to delete it. i dont have time to do a new audio and rework my schedule. but i also dont want to be seen as supporting him i...#.. i dont know what to do and now im just scared. which i know is stupid and priveliged to say as im not someone whos been hurt by him#im just anxious and autistic and over thinking and dont know what to do#the vampire vents
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kinda considering dropping out since im fucking miserable and everyone tells me i have no future no matter what 👍🏻 can somebody help me i am at my wits end
#im one year late to graduating and im wasting money and time and i feel anxious all the time and everyone tells me my degree is useless sooo#i have a job lined up for a year and an unpaid internship in a library for a couple months before that but like still ill never work there#bc they ask for like three differents degrees so what if i just find a real job somewhere after and its fine. i feel like a failure lol#t
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mmm need to learn to draw porn. and maybe i can even make like borderline minimum wage on really nice people commissioning me and i wont have to work my annoying part time job anymore nor will i have to go back into customer service
#SORRY to vent im fine i just. boss pissed me off and i’ve been wanting to leave for a while#** i live with my parents and am lucky enough to not have to pay rent. i just get mad at myself when i don’t have money for anything#plus occasional t costs & eating on campus#i have money saved up i want to have some sort of income though. i’ll geel so anxious spending any money even tho#i could actually probably afford it for a good while#sorry im such a yapper
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unfortunately i think my divine punishment is to never feel happy confident pretty and normal
#i always feel off in the late october but omfggg i havent been able to sleep because i am just anxious 24/7 my chest is tight my heart is#in my throat and it hurts so bad. i just want to get money move my mom out of serbia and kill myself i cant wait i tear up from excitement#thinking about not being alive its the only thing keeping me alive if that makes sense#anyway. off to update my cv and portfolio ive been putting it off but its time also i want a boring office job so bad you have no idea but#whatever goddddddddd goodbye sorry for being negative im not even being dramatic like this is my diary i am suicidal and disgusting and#ashmp3 is the perfect place to share these thoughts#tt
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I miss the days where existing online was a fun thing for ppl with social anxiety to make friends on instead of like Life 2.0 ya know
#sucktacular sucks#this is literally about nothing im just like#so tired. im tired all the time. being online was my lil fun escape place#but now itslike#DID YOU KNOW HORRIBLE THING HAPPENED AND IF YOU ARENT PAYING ATTENTION#YOURE AWFUL AND ALSO THIS OTHER STUFF DONT DO IT BUT YOU#HAVE TO DO THIS THING OR ILL SEND YOU DEATH THREATS#or YOU DID XYZ OR LIKE XYZ THAY MEANS YOURE EVIL AND AWFUL#and its like#i know this stuff existed still back then but also#i just miss making movie maker slide shows#and having funny fake cyber sex in gaia online towns with my friends that i dont#know anything about and will never meet#like i could probably still exist in that closed off little world if i tried harder#but like maaaaann its just rough#i log in and get bombarded with information#i have no money i dont go outside and i want to be left alone except for my friends#i dont want to be anyone and i dont want to do anything#and Yet#my anxiety is on high alert every hour of everyday#anyone else wanna just exist and enjoy stuff or be a hater but it not be A Big Thing#again literally about nothing just like#i have an anxiety disorder and i know existing is already hard#but man online gonna make it hard now too huh#ewie#anyway i do miss my death note mutuals but i cant even socialize with my besties these days#cuz im too anxious and one little trip up and im gonna explode and die frankly#working on it#HOW THE HELL DID WE WIND UP LIKE THIS#AND WHY WERENT WE ABLE... TO SEE THE SIGNS THAT WE MISSED. AND TRY AND TURN THE TABLES
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#Im so sad rn#I feel like shit but I really shouldnt call out again#I couldnt bring myself to cook so I dont have lunch for tomorrow#Im so poor#Im starting to despise the job I really liked#I dont get paid enough#I dont feel like I can live alone anymore but Im only a year into my year lease#I always have something wrong with me so Im constantly canceling on people#I feel like Im always busy yet never spending enough time with anyone#I just want it all to stop#no expectations or things I have to cancel or things I should be doing instead#life is so rough rn and Im not sure how to fix it#I need like a maid and around $500#I just gotta last till Sunday but it feels like asking too much#if I go to work Ill be ridiculously anxious all day about getting people sick or becoming more sick myself#and if I stay home Ill be ridiculously anxious about money and being fired#but at least if I stay home I might actually feel better and not potentially get people sick#I just wish I lived in a moral world that cared about my health
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Girl help me I fell in love with a fanfic from someone fully employed and the chapters are too long betwix
Man me too wtf 🥲
#asks#a little creature#wish i didn't have to work. alas#sorry part of it is just that im stumped creatively#the chapter itself is giving me so much fucking trouble#the core of it (what i really want to hit yall with) is written but justifying it with the proper context is...#man.#shoutout to the tips ive gotten making me feel so much less guilty and anxious about the days i just#didn't do money work and stared at the fic doc and also didn't get anything done there LOL#i get paid on a per word basis instead of hourly so trying to police my own schedule has been weird sldkfjvnsfd#anyway. you're getting farcille first kiss next chapter but not the way you expect/want it and also im actively trying to stab all of you#but also the pwp oneshot's going out first bc it's basically done#i just have to add in some fuckass whatever pillow talk to cap it off#and make the actual fucking a little better paced
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currently shoving my ENTIRE foot into my mouth to avoid oversharing at work, y'all (coworkers) should really NOT know my idea long-term employment plans, huh
also wondering how early i can duck out of work because we're experiencing Prime Calm Before The Nado Storm conditions, which (of course) will really start when i'm sposed to be commuting about it
#text#personal#work#listen i dont want a job i just want money#and i sure as shit dont wanna be here when the weather channel says 'have a plan and be prepared for Powerful Tornados' 💀💀#im too anxious for this shit#i need a house so i can get back to writing well so i can get a book deal so i can be part time lmao#At Best
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