#im just ranting dont take me seriously anyways

[psilocybinaut]

Sometimes i can't help but feel, that everytime i go sober, that my depression physically manifests itself in my stomach. It's like all my sadness and woes just get pushed forward, and so much harder to ignore. And then that anger becomes very real, just burning in my stomach

[freakbullet]

cant believe when im consuming deltarune theories i have to sit through takes like "yeah I guess ANOTHER HIM sounds kinda like gasters theme but theres no proof" or "yeah people assume the intro narrator is gaster but we dont actually know"

like do yall need Toby to spell it out in big block letters for you?

OH WAIT. HE DID.

[volfoss]

it is beyond infuriating how anne rice seems to insist on marius being a positive force in anyone's life ever. like she can't fully commit to exploring the fact he groomed armand and has repeatedly taken away his consent for what marius thinks is best (take the end of TVA as an example) and just kind of flatly puts it in the narrative. there's not really much interest in how these horrific events make marius come across as the worst because EVERYONE loves him. for gods sake, lestat learns from armand exactly what marius did to him in TVL and then proceeds to go find marius and be super friendly to him in the same fucking book. even armand and pandora, two of the people who have MORE than enough right to hate him, do not. it doesnt feel like shes trying to explore the toxicity of the abusive dynamic he traps them in, it just is there. and like yeah ofc the toxic vampire romance series but i think that this should be handled with more care. and it is not ever really framed in a way that she is interested in exploring how marius should easily be one of the most horrific characters in this series because it kind of feels like sa/rape/grooming/other things of that sort are just put there to further plot and not to really get the respect that they deserve in a medium.

[triglycercule]

i love doodling swapinverse like hello drawing characters aside from the normal mtt is lowkey therapeutic 🧡🧡🧡 anyways i FINALLY FINALLY finished crash's lore!!!! and vice.SER is connected to him,,,, theyre interconnected!!! i forgot how much i liked crash's design (not the design but all the little gimmicks in the design. figuring out all the hanging ribbon bits is annoying but hey it looks good)

[critterchitters-closedcaptions]

funny thing about attraction is that i am Not at all interested in cis guys. right.

except for the literal worst fictional men you've ever layed eyes on.

this character is horrible and *will* harm my general health?

comfort character babey.

occasionally theres the just Regular Ass Guy right, but 90% of the time its either women or the literal scum of the earth (or both. lady villains. aaough <3 yes please)

[dandyshucks]

waking up to see someone left a semi-self-demeaning reply on a post of mine and i go to their blog just to make sure they're not someone nasty before i reply encouragingly to them, only to see theyre very into the racist white man youtuber profiting off of Algonquian culture that obviously doesnt belong to him 😵‍💫😵‍💫

[eniruok]

Id also like to point out the story we are told about WHY she left is made up entirely by Marcille, she's just guessing, and SURE it could be a 99% accurate guess, it could just be the way Ryoko Kui decided to fill us in on what happened since Chilchuck is oblivious to it himself and there was no other way to include it in the narrative. But like, the only concrete fact we know is: she left. She isnt given a chance to explain herself, we never see her side, we just know that she left.

The only thing we get is Chilchuck alluding that Marcille's intuition is eerily accurate, but shes still making assumptions about WifeChuck's feelings and reasons- something we cant even be entirely sure of without her input.

People on here love to think relationships are super cut and dry, that if things go wrong that means there was a Bad Guy and a Victim, theres no room to speculate that maybe his wife showed a lack of initiative or empathy, or maybe she never even voiced that their lifestyle was bothering her. Chilchuck clearly lacks emotional intelligence but that doesnt make him a monster, so why isnt she equally condemned for not being more patient or understanding with the man she agreed to marry? Relationships are more than just an exchange, its about working together as a unit to overcome obstacles, share in triumphs and grow together.

It is completely counter productive to shift blame from one side to another, if there is no shared responsibility there is no relationship, it just isnt going to end well if you see every conflict as "their fault", it causes you to dehumanize and resent your partner and its just... a useless way of thinking, theres no room for that train of thought if you want a healthy relationship.

So yeah.. at the end of the day I dont see a point in being like "Chilchuck was a bad husband" or "Wifechuck was a bad wife", it doesnt matter, they both failed at doing whatever was necessary to make the relationship work. You either win together or you lose together, no healthy relationship is just one person being like "yep, i won, the relationship is good because i made it good, no input from this other person, they're just along for the epic ride i solve all the problems and resolve all the conflicts!! Go me!!" It would completely defeat the purpose of being on a "team" if only one person reaped all the benefits, so why isnt the blame shared when the team also loses? Why we always gotta assign a bad guy and a victim?

He spent a long time without having seen his wife, that is by definition being a bad husband, even if he lied about the infidelity.

she left him

like she left. they are separated. you can argue him being emotionally distant enough for her to leave is bad, and you can be upset with him for not chasing after her, but she walked out first. him not following after her was not a moral failing on his part. it was a choice he made, and her leaving so definitively implied she wasn't anticipating him coming after her anyway.

like. ultimately though i think trying to shoehorn him into "good" or "bad" is missing the point? and equally missing the point of dunmeshi on the whole. no one is "good" or "bad". chilchuck made mistakes, he clearly made his wife feel unloved enough to leave, but we know from the things he says that it was never his intent.

you can criticize him for causing this relationship to fail without claiming he was just 100% bad, and i would encourage you to read dunmeshi with your mind open to nuance, friend. if you wanna hate chilchuck that's your right but you are arguing with the wrong person

[yeonlogic]

★ baby be mine ⋆｡°✩

PAIRING bestfriend!gyu + f!reader GENRE/WARNINGS fluff, crack, friends to lovers au, gyu works in a vinyl shop, gyu gets friendzoned woopsies, mild swearing, semi smau reader is friends with chaewon & kazuha from lsrfm

SYNOPSIS you and gyu have been friends since you first saw each other at school and now your starting to develop feelings for him

wc: around 3k?

“are you done picking out a vinyl you want or what” beomgyu complained looking at you look through the compartment full of vinyls

“yeah yeah whatever, you work here anyway im sure the owner wont mind you closing up the shop late” you said as you took a look around the cd section thinking about whether you should get a cd or a vinyl.

“okay uhm I decided Im not getting anything” you chuckled nervously looking at beomgyu knowing he would say something about it

“yah you cant just spend hours looking at the shop for around 3hours and not picking anything!?” he frowned “okay okay Im sorry ill make it up to you and help you close down the shop.”

you two started closing down the shop together. as you two finished you took a look at the city in the night admiring how it looked.

“your still walking me home right..?” you said turning to him as he was locking up the shop door “yeah I always do cuz your scared of those weirdos who would come after you” he teased “well Its not my fault its scary, what if a random guy chases me or something” your voice had a hint of worry and nervousness as you said that, gyu walked up to you by your side “Its alright ill be your night and shining armor” beomgyu said jokingly “now come on its getting late.”

you two walked the streets together your hands shoved In the pocket of your hoodie, it was cold freezing cold.

“hey if you have the time you should teach me how to use the guitar” you nudged his shoulder with yours looking at him with a smile on your face, “how about tomorrow? If you can” he chuckled “also your shivering a lot.. is it that cold..?” he grabbed your wrist stopping you from walking away as he took his jacket off and draped It on your shoulders, your heart was beating from how close he was to you, you were so used to him being close to you all the time but why was this one different?

you felt your cheeks heat up a bit but you didnt worry about it too much. “thanks..” you murmured, his jacket was warm enough to block the cold, “dont mention it” he replied as you two continued to walk back to your home.

“thanks for walking me back home gyu” you smiled and gave him a hug, “also here you should take your jacket back” you took it off as beomgyu stopped you from doing it “no keep it, it looks better on you” he laughed softly “ill see you tomorrow?” “mhm” you replied as you entered your house going into your room.

you dropped onto your bed looking up at the ceiling confused about what you were feeling at that moment gyu gave you his jacket that was now wrapped around your torso.

you grabbed your phone from your pocket and opened the messages app.

you turned off your phone and placed it on your bedside table, you felt confused why were you feeling these random butterflies in your stomach whenever you think about beomgyu oh god “THE FUCKING HEART?!?!?” you screamed into your pillow “okay clam down maybe its just a platonic gesture calm down and just sleep this through.” you muttered to yourself as you layed down on your bed.

you were In a cafe with chaewon since everyone from school was on school break so you both decided to hang out today

“ugh Im so glad were on break right now i think I would’ve passed out if the teacher gave us any more test papers” she ranted and complained while you were zoned out lost in your thoughts about last night.

“y/n?, helloo earth to y/n!?, Y/N!!!” chae snapped at you “huh?” you replied “girl did you even listen to what I was saying” “uh yeah ofc”

“then what did I say?” one of her eyebrow was raised up “uhm that you wanted that bag you saw?” chaewon looked at you

“seriously y/n whats got you acting so weird this day” chaewon stared at you while sipping her iced coffee, “honestly I dont even know Its just something about last night..” you said nervously “tell me, maybe I can do something about it”

“promise me you wont laugh..?” “duhh.”

“Its just I never knew I’d look at my bestfriend differently, you know beomgyu right?” “yeah the one who works at the vinyl shop down town right” chaewon replied

“yeah.. well uhm I was with him last night and he walked me home but its something about the way he saw I was freezing and gave me his jacket— but I mean its not even that romantic Its the part where he put the jacket on me he was so..close something about that just felt so different to me because Im so used to being close with him all the time but it was just that one moment that made me realize maybe I have feelings for him..?” you sighed and covered your face with your hands “chaeeee what do I dooo” you pleaded feeling embarrassed to talk about this to your girl bestfriend

“Look as much as I dont know shit about love I can tell you definitely have feelings for him I mean.. you two were friends since 8th grade till now you two are technically inseparable” she shrugged “I guess..maybe If i just ignore him for the whole week maybe he wont notice that I have feelings for him??” “idk girl im sorry but I dont know what to do.”

6:22 PM

you arrived at the vinyl shop where you could see gyu standing at the cash register as you entered the shop and approached him.

“hey gyu um..we might have to cancel that guitar lesson since Im gonna be busy this day” you smiled nervously at him hoping he wouldn’t ask you why or what your gonna do. “oh alright..” he said, you could feel a bit of sadness from his voice and you felt bad because of it, “maybe next time?” you said as you left the shop feeling guilty.

beomgyu went home to his shared apartment with his friends as he saw soobin and hueningkai playing a videogame together on the couch, gyu approached them and grabbed the tv remote and turned It off and sat Inbetween the two boys “heyy I was about to beat soobin hyung” kai frowned “yah why are you so grumpy today” soobin side eyed him “its nothing..” gyu responded and sat up from the couch and went to his bedroom.

-

another day passes by and you and chaewon are together spending time at the arcade just chatting and playing some games, you havent chatted gyu ever since that night because of how scared you were for him to find out you have a crush on him.

“oh btw y/n I invited kazuha we havent seen her in so long and apparently shes taking a 1 week vacay here” chaewon was excited to see your guys friend that you havent seen from since she left the country.

“holy shit zuha Is taking a vacation here?!?!? why didn’t you tell me earlier!!” you were suprised as you saw kazuha enter the arcade from the entrance, you ran towards her so fast and engulfed her in your arms “zuhaaa you never told me you came heree you dont know how much i missed you” “im still here yk” chaewon pouted and crossed her arms looking at you

kazuha chuckles “I wanted it to be a suprise for you two, what are we waiting for? enough about me being here i still have to make it up to you two since i havent spent time with you guys ever since” she frowned as you and chaewon gave her a hug.

-

“taehyun you promised me your gonna win me a plushie from the claw machine right” kai giggled looking at tyun “yeah yeah whatever” taehyun responded.

“hey gyu isnt that y/n over there?” yeonjun looked at beomgyu, beomgyus gaze was on you. “be right back guys” he said and ran towards you but he overheard your convo with your friends.

“hey y/n have you and that guy bestfriend youve been friends for like what 5 years? what was his name..? oh beomgyu! have you two ever dated yet? you two were stuck together like glue.” kazuha asked you

you coughed “what? oh beomgyu! hes just a friend”

“friend, friend, friend”

was all that gyu heard from that convo, he immediately left and went to his friends and told them that he wasnt in the mood to play arcade games with them so he left early.

“why does it have to be the girl i like to friend zone me like that” gyu sighed as he slumped on his bed just thinking about you “agh fuck this is embarrassing beomgyu get yourself together” he murmured to himself.

-

same old day just beomgyu sitting on the couch with taehyun on his left and soobin on his right, “do you guys know if y/n likes anyone by any chance..” gyu asked “lol no.” soobin responded “wow thanks soobin” beomgyu scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“if i do remember her friend chaewon told me she liked someone but im just not sure who” taehyun said as he scrolled on his phone “did i hear gyu having a crush?” yeonjun teased.

“it just..pisses me off how she hasnt talked to me for 2days and now shes telling her friends that im just a friend to her..” he sighed laying his head back on the header of the couch “wait wait y/n friendzoning you?” kai chuckled “shes just saying that chaewon told me about it.”

“told you about what?” he says.

“that she likes you duhh” kai responded “come on gyu you needa step up your game its so obvious she likes you because of how shes ghosting you and saying your just a friend cause shes hiding the fact she likes you!?” kai chuckles looking at how dumbfounded beomgyu looked “OoOoo~ beomgyus inlove~” soobin and yeonjun teased him about it “shut up.” was gyus response.

beomgyu got up from the couch and went into his room opening the messages app from his phone and texted you.

“wanna meet up..? my treat :)” he sends the send button as he waits for your reply.

*buzz buzz*

his phone vibrated from your notification. “sure! what time??” you replied to his text msg “right now maybe?” gyu replied.

he got up from his bed and immediately grabbed his shoes and slipped them on and rushed out the door. “whats up with him?” taehyun said “inlove for sure” soobin added.

-

as he got In his car, he drove to your place and parked his car right infront of your house, as he gets out of the driver seat he goes up to your door *knock knock*

“coming!!” you rushed downstairs and answer the door to see beomgyu on your doorstep “hey uhm havent seen you in awhile whats the occasion for the hang out?” you smiled.

“just something i have something to tell you” gyu chuckled nervously as he opened the car door for the passenger seat for you.

you two went on a city night drive with snooze by sza playing on the radio everything was going chill and calm until gyu stopped at a park. “were here” he smiled and got out of the car to open the car door to the passenger seat.

- you two sat on a bench, silence filling up the air. “so..what were you gonna talk about?” you said breaking the silence “i’ve just been thinking..for the past few days you’ve been ignoring me and avoiding texting me which i kinda hated not gonna lie” “he giggled “but during those days I honestly realized i couldnt be myself without you talking to me for 2days i know call me dramatic but i cant live without talking to you y/n” he frowned, you honestly didnt know how to react about it.

“im sorry i havent talked to you..I- just was feeling things that i felt that was wrong i mean- ugh fuck am i really about to say this?, Im confused about my feelings gy-“ “I like you too dummy.” He responded before you could finish your sentence. you just sat there looking at him “dont look at me like that its true” he giggled “fine i admit it I like you- actually no I love you” you finally said it and oh how you felt so relieved to let those words slip out of your mouth knowing your best friend beomgyu felt the same way as you did.

“so if I like you and you like me..does that mean we’re a couple or?” gyu said as you just laughed “yes. yes gyu i would gladly be your girlfriend” you smiled at him as you gave a kiss on his cheek making his heart flutter.”

“well im glad because I love you too” he responded and kissed you, you felt a wave of shock from it and didnt know how to explain it but your lips just melted with his, his lips were soft and plush on yours. “Im so glad your mine now.” He whispered.

a/n: PHEEEEWWW I finally finished this my hands are lowkey sweating rn but I hope you guys enjoy this 🥹 I might make extra beomgyu bf texts for this later so ^^

heres sum extra gyu content added onto this ff I did!!

bf!gyu texts

[reason-with-the-underdog]

highkey tho cyno & kaveh's friendship is my favorite

1) when kaveh is like "i won the interdarshan competition and all i got was massive trauma, a concussion, & this rare TCG card. hey cyno, you wanted this right?"

cyno: wait but this is rare 🥺🥺🥺 kaveh: eh i dont need it and then cyno is like "yo. srs tho. ARE YOU OK?? i will help you"

LIKE SWEETIE.... and then him giving kaveh mora which kaveh immediately spends on a fancy meal out for the family

at this point cyno doesn't know about kaveh's bankruptcy and tbh im not sure he ever finds out?

2) THE POST-COMPETITION MEAL WHERE EVERYONE JUST MAKES FUN OF KAVEH FOR TALKING ABOUT ALHAITHAM SO MUCH....

kaveh & cyno are both so earnest like neither of them should be sarcastic they're not good at it 😭😭😭

KAVEH GENUINELY THOUGHT CYNO WAS WARNING HIM ABOUT ALHAITHAM'S PRESENCE

anyways kaveh in his voiceline about cyno says that he needs a beer before cyno's jokes but that means he DOES like them sometimes

3) the fact that cyno had a bad impression of alhaitham pre-AQ bc he only knew of alhaitham from hearing kaveh rant to tighnari & collei about his insufferable roommate (& maybe seeing their message board debates)

& being the sweetheart that he is, he's going into this thinking

"that's him. that's the man who stole the show from my carefully planned jokes at dinner the other night by being terribly annoying to kaveh. apparently he doesn't put away his books??? which is a serious trip hazard actually. i'm on my guard 👁️👁️"

and then in classic alhaitham fashion, alhaitham makes a horrid first impression (he would rather make zero impression at all, thank you)

like of course cyno & alhaitham are naturally suspicious of each other bc of their akademiya affiliations but like STILL

it brings me much joy to know that before they became genuine friends (going from "nodding at each other in passing on the street" to "we always go to the tavern to celebrate" 🥺)...

cyno was primed to dislike alhaitham bc "you seem to upset kaveh??? so i dont think i like you"

i think cyno listened to kaveh rant about alhaitham's latest injustices (he took kaveh's favorite house slippers) and took them very seriously

look at how upset kaveh is when recounting them!! clearly kaveh is truly upset & this alhaitham fellow must be a real problem

like at that point i dont think kaveh & cyno were all that close? they met through tighnari but kaveh was pretty busy before finishing the palace & afterwards he managed to keep his bankruptcy a secret from cyno

but still cyno was already kinda protective of kaveh & his feelings

4) basically i think its amazing that if you cross kaveh, not only do you have kaveh's temper to worry about

..but also you have the legendarily scary & imposing general mahamatra himself on your tail... (+ the grand scribe & the general watchleader & lambad & half of sumeru city)

5) tl;dr is kaveh & cyno are both extremely earnest people who are very intense about their chosen professions and have very strong hyperfixes/hobbies

which can lead to miscommunication bc they take each other too srsly and then have to backpedal/explain BUT STILL THEYRE SO GOOD!!!

& i love that there's no judgement from each other

kaveh isn't all "wow cyno's love for tcg is so weird/too nerdy" instead he says "oh i got the prize my friend wanted, lets give it to him free"

while cyno's just like "ok kaveh your life is a mess but its a life you chose so 👍"

[royposting]

i feel like im missing out so tell me about roy harper's abandonment issues (for educational purposes, obviously)

WELL i am glad you asked, i hope the following rant is satisfactory!! this is more ~vibes~ based than evidence based honestly so bear with me.

the thing about roy as a character when he is written well is that he is quite a subtle character; this is partially bc DC never really gave a shit about him honestly. meaning, a lot of what we can gather about him as a character (&person) comes from drawing logical conclusions from canonical events.

for example in my previous roy thesis where i discussed how logically his heroin addiction should be treated story wise compared to what we get.

so:

roy was very little when his father died (depending on which version of events you follow, he sometimes has a mother, sometimes he is a bit older, etc. i personally like devin graysons run for arsenal mini&will use that to base my canon on) and was taken in by the navajo tribe.

then, again depending on your canon, brave bow (his mentor&father figure at this point in time) either hands him off to ollie, or roy himself decides to leave. what we do know is that brave bow got sick and passed away shortly after ollie took roy in. meaning that is two father figures down before the age of 13. his time with the navajo was difficult as well, as he never really fit in, and would be told as such.

he idolised ollie; things obviously didnt turn out great in that regard for him. i dont like to consider ollie a TERRIBLE person, even back then, but he certainly wasnt looking to be the safe father figure this little boy so desperately needed and wanted more than anything.

a lot of it is, of course, that roy wasnt ever a popular character really, but looking at the older (pre new earth) canon, ollie wasnt really home a lot, didnt bring roy with him a lot, and honestly didnt seem to give many shits about him. leaving us with the image of this young boy left alone most of the time, without a proper place in the world.

he was honestly more of a teen titans character than a green arrow one, back then.

then ollie sets off with hal for a year: he doesnt even mention roy in GL/GA #1 when they decide to head out.

he starts messing with drugs around this time. like, how abandoned and lonely does a young person have to be to start shooting heroin? TT break up around this time, too, and donna breaks up with him, dick goes off to college - he is all alone, once again.

again, we have to imagine what fucked up mindset someone has to be in for all of this to happen. how insanely isolated and lonely he has to be to not call his friends and say hes struggling - he feels completely abandoned by everyone in his life.

then ollie punches him in the face and throws him to the street.

later on, left out of the roster of the NTT. we learn when we see him in NTT (vol 01 #27) that hes trying to build a life for himself. he doesnt do much vigilante stuff anymore.

he gets back into it, eventually, but until then, he keeps getting left behind: never good enough for anyone to take seriously nor stick around for. everyone always has too much other stuff, while he doesnt really.

he even fucking reconnects back with ollie like immediately before ollie dies lmao. which is honestly kind of funny in retrospect but ya know.

anyway he eventually gets back into things, becomes a dad, reconnects with his old friends. even joins the JLA. however there is always that layer of hurt over everything he does that just GETS to me ya know? like.

he is sometimes written in a way that i fucking hate where they essentially make him a chauvinist johnny bravo type dude who hits on teenage girls etc. i do not consider this canon. however we DO get a nice explanation for this in titans: secret files and origins (#1) where its essentially considered a front he puts on - similar in a way to how ollie tends to make jokes and be sarcastic when hes feeling insecure.

he tends to do this when cornered with his insecurities. he is so convinced that everyone he loves will leave him that he pushes them away first - ripping that band aid off before they get the chance to. if he acts horribly, noone will want to get close, leaving no room for him to get abandoned again.

yet he tries so, so hard to hold onto those he loves - consider, like, all of outsiders vol 03. consider how he, too, lost his best friend when donna died, but how he puts all of his own grief aside to help keep dick off that ledge. consider how part of his grief that lead to him joining slade in titans vol 02 (#26-38) is that he thought he was irredeemable after the events of rise of arsenal - he thought he had noone and nothing left.

i dont think much of his current issues are necessarily rooted in FACT - ollie (and debatably depending on your canon, brave bow) certainly did abandon him, leaving deep scars. but those are also what he bases his thoughts on his relationships on - this deep seated idea that he CANNOT be loved and wanted for himself and what he is (the romance with hawkgirl of all people certainly didnt help).

it doesnt matter that his friends and coworkers love and value him - we have to imagine the lens that he looks at his life and relationships through. personally id believe it if you said that his relationship to his daughter, lian, was the only one he ever trusted fully in his life - but he still feels like he failed her, that its his fault that she died, and he wonders constantly if he ever was good enough for her.

idk man this is a bible and SOOOO ranty but i care so so so much about him 🥺 and again this is vibes mostly - almost no writers actually give a shit about him so they dont leave space to actually sit and consider how he WOULD feel about these things. so this is just my interpretation. it shines through at times when you have a writer who is interested in him (such as judd winick, or devin grayson in the batman+arsenal mini) but usually they just pretend like his traumas wouldnt affect him at all. and i take issue with that.

[bluegumballmf]

OK SO RANT WARNING I LOVE ADAMAI

ngl i think about adamai so much like literally almost half of the time im thinking abt him so um i just wanna talk about my personal headcanons for him bc i rlly rlly like him he’s genuinely such an easy character to relate to for me because i relate to his trauma. Anyways, forgive me if you catch any spelling or grammar errors, i’m writing this with like 4 hours of sleep and dyslexia.

um so my main mental health hcs are that he has BPD, ADD (lololol fits with the name) and minor psychosis. For ADD, it’s moreseo that from what i’ve seen, adamai struggles in social cues and has a more quiet approach to his struggles, and that he acts similarly to me, and I am autistic. For psychosis, it’s sort of a baseless headcanon, I just feel like Adamai would get auditory/ tactile hallucinations.

It’s a little hard to explain why i think he has BPD cause it’s moreso things I can relate to, such as how he latches onto people rlly quick ; ie a BPD person’s “favorite person,” who is a support system and a sort of pillar/ anchor and typically end up being someone the person w/ BPD sometimes ends up changing themself for. I personally think that adamai’s had multiple favorite people, such as; grougal, qilby, phaeris, echo and oropo, and obviously, yugo. Its kinda hard for me to like. Phrase WHY i think these people are his fps, but i think it’s mostly how he values them and prioritizes them when it comes to his actions and thoughts and feelings, i mean, just take oropo for example. Adamai changed his entire body for oropo, taking the dofus in when he was still rlly young for eliatrope/dragon standards, even assuming a body he didn’t want to survive, which even then, he only did for approval and support from his FP. This actually leads me into my next headcanon,

I headcanon adamai as transfem. Specifically a trans woman. For a few reasons, which I’ve gone over in a twitter thread (same username as on here, you should go check it out, I’m WAY more active there haha) but i’ll put it here.

1. adamai doesnt feel comfortable in his body and it’s elaborated on in the show. When he’s talking to eliatrope about his body, eliatrope states that he’s “always been unique” and iirc you can see adamai’s face drop because its not exactly something he’s proud of.

2: going off the last point, he’s shown to say that the body he now has in wakfu s3-4 is one he had to adapt to survive and not the one he chose, which is parallel to some trans people never transitioning because they dont feel safe enough to do so. this is kind of a stretch but bear with me, it’s more subconcious connections than anything else.

3. (More of a joke point) BUT HE LITERALLY HAS THE SAME WAIST SIZE AS JESSICA RABBIT. WHAT. YES I’VE ACTUALLY COMPARED I AM NOT JOKING. Like here are the images (see below) for comparison. In all seriousness, while i feel like adamai’s design IS iconic and it does serve the purpose it meant to acheive, it doesn’t feel like him. Which again, is what it meant to acheive!! I’ll touch on this more in a second, but not.

4: adamai has multiple issues regarding self perception, which in a way are all similar to dysphoria. He seems to have rejection dysphoria, body dysphoria, and maybe gender dysphoria. In my view, he seems to have all three subtypes of gender dysphoria (body, mind, and social) this actually ties in to the first point, because i feel like he’d develop a sort of body dysmorphia from shifting into a body he didn’t want, rather then a body that would be more comfortable for him; the human or the dragon. Which i’m choosing to see as a representation of the two genders; with him shifting in between being a sort of safe spot, like how many trans people identify as nonbinary or bigender before transition. (Not to say that these people are any less trans then any others, i’m just going off my own perception as a trans genderfluid person!!!)

5: he’s always being forced into roles; from being raised for yugo, to being yugo’s mentor, to being grougal’s nanny, to being possessed, etc. Ad never has chances to choose any roles by himself, and it’s similar to transphobic parents stopping their trans kid from expressing themselves imo. Again, could be a stretch, but this is how i interpreted it. It’s actually kind of similar to my parents, so maybe that’s why. Though, this COULD also just be gifted kid burnout or autistic burnout OR strict parent parallels, which i also can see correspond with adamai.

6: His mental image and self worth.

Adamai’s character is heavily influenced by a lack of self worth. He measures it with other people’s perceptions of him such as oropo’s or grougal’s, and when his body is perceived negatively by himself/others, he also starts hating it and himself, which ties into the headcanon i had about him having body dysmorphia AND into the BPD favorite people!!!

7: ( sounds like a joke point but bear w me) estrogen could have saved him

And honestly, no, Im not joking. Imo, if Adamai was allowed access to an actual process to be able to feel comfortable in his own skin, it might help his mental illnesses a lot in the long run. I equate that to him getting estrogen + finally looking like himself. It could help him with the body dysmorphia and self esteem by helping him get to a place where he’s comfortable to be himself and maybe even shapeshift again. (I actually wrote a fic about this on Ao3, https://archiveofourown.org/works/55070686, if you want to read it!!)

But um yeah, thats my reasoning for the trans headcanons, onto the less mental health involved ones, more miscellaneous. (But if you’re wondering why i’m using ‘male’ pronouns on Adamai, it’s because i feel like he would still like the he/him pronouns, but would simply use she/her more post transition.)

So, i have a few, mainly for adamai during winter vs summer.

In winter,

Silverish hair to blend with the snow

hair puffs up slightly to provide more insulation

lighter pigmentation everywhere,

much sleepier, tends to nap in the snow often

And then in the summer,

Blonde hair

more pigmentation

hair is less puffy, just curly (similar to chibi’s hair!!!)

less sleepier and more energetic.

Those are the basic ones for the seasons, but i also headcanon adamai to be an ice dragon, which means his tempurature is MUCH lower then the rest of the council’s save for maybe efrim. He needs to be in the sun much more, which could be part of the reason why grougal chose oma island to raise adamai. Another headcanon is that adamai and yugo both have heterochromia!! Yugo has central heterochromia, and Adamai has sectoral heterochromia; his eyes being blue and brown. I also headcanon that he has face markings similar to his mother, but they disappear in his dragon form because he’s closer to his father then.

Um yeah, that’s kind of it for right now, i might add onto these if more come up, but i hope you enjoyed reading!! I rwally love adamai, especially in s3 and up, he’s one of the most well written traumatized character’s i’ve seen, and i ADORE the nuance behind him.

[aline-the-cat]

I was just imagining how much more hilarious it would've been if the Cullens were in college xD

Like, im hs everyone tries to take themselves seriously, everyone gossip about them and they have a ✨️reputation✨️

In college tho, it would've been like:

"Who are they?"

"Ah those are the Cullens, you'll probably see them all over the place"

"They are so pale tho"

"Yeah, wait until you enter next semester"

Also they would be able to stay a few more years than expected

"Hey, didnt the cullens graduated last year?"

"Apparently they are going for a second degree"

"Wtf why? Are they even alive???"

"Who knows, I sometimes dont see them breathe for a while.... but anyway about the paper we have to do-"

Also I feel like it would be funnier if Bella was an undergraduate and her life and morals are twisted by final proyects and horrible teachers

"Bella, everything in me is design to kill, I've kill before, I'm a monster"

"A monster is Mrs Deborah giving us five assigments and three essays for thursday Edward"

Also, just imagine queen bee Alice being loved by all because she has all the question banks for the tests, Bella loves her and also low-key hates her when she teases her in exchange of them

"Why dont you just ask Edward? He literally reads the teacher's mind"

"I asked him once and he went on his 'we have to be good kids and do not bring attention to us' rants"

Alice, who is perfectly aware he was 75% messing with her: "Oh, I see"

Jacob 'I left school to be a werewolf' Black: "Bella whats wrong with you? Is that leech draiming yoi? Are you turning?"

"What? Noo!"

"But you are so pale, you have eyebags and you lool half-dead!"

"Yeah, its called 'end-of-semester"

Also, consider this: fratboy!Emmet 🙌🏻

[compassionatereminders]

Im feeling a bit down now since i'm looking for work and (sorry idk english expressions so i will try to describe the best i can) you have like this lady that suggest you which work you should take basically you get some help from the goverment if you are registered as unemployed then you go to the unemplyement place where you get this lady that suggest you which work you should take. And also monthly you have to tell her where you applied for work.

So she sent me via email where i should apply and today i found out that this guy want me to work 1 week or maybe 2 weeks just to "test me" if i'd be a good worker however i told him that i will ask this lady (this lady that suggest work) and ask her how to move forward because if i get paid i need to notify someone since i get the government help and if i get hired even for a week i need to tell them so they know that random people dont sent me money on my account (basically when you apply for help you also need to show them bank statements so they know you dont have money and that you dont work this is how you apply for financial help)

And the guy said no this lady doesnt need to know this at all and i dont want her to know this since i would work 1 or 2 weeks for free

I'm like hello?? For free? 2 week? Seriously and he shouldnt be doing this this is why he doesnt want me to talk abou this with her

Obviously i wont go work for free but what makes me mad is when this lady says i need to apply somewhere if i dont i lose 40% of the government help if i make 2 strikes i dont get any help for 6 months but people like this can abuse the system and ask people to be quiet and work for free

Luckily i have proof because i have conversation with this guy via email but if i were to talk over a phone with him he could fuck me over and say that i didnt agree to work and he could lie just to screw me over and i would get 40% less of government help

Sorry for rant and messy english

But people complain HOW lazy we are and HOW we dont want to work when they literally ask us to work for free to test us...

Anyway the guy was really scared once i mentioned this lady so i think he will say that i just wasnt picked for a job and not that i didnt agree to be tested since i could fuck him over with the emails

Basically if this lady tells you to apply somewhere they also ask employer for a feedback if you really applied.

Yeah sometimes it just gets really obvious that these systems are in place more so to punish you for not already having a job than to actually to help you get a carreer started...

[dumbdolphin3]

OK THIS IS A RANT WITH ZERO PUNCTUATION IN ALL CAPS AND SPOILERS FOR HAZBIN HOTEL EPS. 1-4!!!!

OK SO I JUST FINISHED WATCHING THEM AND OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE IT SOOOO MUCH ITS AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL AND OH MY FUCKING GOD IM GONNA RANT ABOUT THE CHARACTERS AND THE EPISODES MAYBE IDKKKKK

CHARLIE GIRL YOU ARE SO WHOLEOSME AND I OOVE YOU BUT GODDAMN STOP TAKING PEOPLE’S SHIT JUST BECAUSE YOU AHVE TO BE NICE. ALTHOUGH WHEN YOU WENT DEMON FIRM AT VAL FOR FUCKING ABUSING ANGEL HELLLLLL YEAH THATS MY gIRL ILYSM. AND HER FEELING GUILTY FIR EVERYTHING LIEK IT WAS PARTLY YOUR FAULT BUT NO STOP REVEALING MY OWN PROBLEMS TO ME “YOU FIX EVERYONE’S PROBLEMS EXCEPT YOUR OWN” STOP IT HUSK STOP IT.

SPEAKING OF HUSK MY FAVORITE CHARACTER, MY BELOVED. I OOVE THIS WISE OLD BARTENDER. HIM IN THE 4TH EPISODE… AHHHHHHHHH MY HUSKERDUST HEART!!! AND IF HIS AND ALASTOR’S RELATIONSHIP AND PAST DONT GET DEEPLY DIVEN INTO IN THE SHOW I WILL NOT HESITATE TO FUCKING MAKE JY WAY TO FUCKING HEAD WRITER AND MAKE IT HAPPEN. AND HIM TAKING CARE OF ANGEL. GET FUCKING MARRIED (JKJK I LOVE A SLOWBURN (SERIOUSLY ATYD TOOK LIKE 70 CHAPTERS AT KEAST FOR FEELINGS TO EVEN HAPPEN)) AND HIM RELATING TI ANGELLLL AND THEIR DUETTTTTT!!!

AND NOW ANGEL. MY GOD I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU VAKENTINO YOU DO NOT GET TO HURT MY SECOND FAVORITE CHARACTER AND JUST EXPECT ME NOT TO BRANDISH MY FUCKING KNOFE JUST BCUZ YOU ARE FICTIONAL AND THERE IS NO POSSIBLE WAY I COULD KILL YOU. I WILL GET A FUCKING ANGELIC WEAPON AND SKEWER YOU. NOW ENLUGH ABOUT THAT SHITHEAD ONTO OMGGGG ANGEL NO ONE CAN BEAT HUSK BUT GODDAMN ILYYYYY HIM AND VAGGIE HAVE A SUBLING RELATIONSHIP AND NO ONE CAN CONVIBCE ME OTHERIWSE. THEY ARE JUDGEMENTAL SHITS WHO HATE EACH OTHER AND WOULD THRIW EACH LTHER IN FRONT OF A CAR BUT WOULD KILL SOMEOBE IF THEY SOMUCH AS LOOKED AT THE OTHER THE WROBG WAY. ALSO IN EPSIDOE 2 HIM BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF SIR PENTIOUS. YES. AND HIM FEELING LEFT PUT UGHHHHHHH!,!

OK SIR PENTIOUS TIME BCUZ HE IS VOICED BY ALEX BRIGHTMAN AND I AM A FUCKING BEETLEJUICE STAN, AND ALSO A FIZZAROLI STAN (HE IS THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED TI HELLUVA BOSS AND NO I WILL NOT DEBATE THIS) AND OMG HES SO SILLY HOW DID HE EVER GO TO HELL I CANT HES SO SWEET AND APOLOGETIC. I MEAN HE WAS AN ASSHOLE FOR LIEK TWO MINUTES AND HE DID ONLY APOLOGIZE AFTER GETTING THE SHIT BEATEN OUT IF HIM BUT THEN HE SANG A WHOLE SONG WITH CHARLIE AND HES SO SWEET I CANT- ALSO HIS WHOLE THING WITH NIFFTY SPEAKING OF NIFFTY…

I LOVE THIS LITTLE GREMLIN SHE IS PURE COMEDY GOLD AND SHE IS EVERYTHING. SHE HAS PROBABLY KILLED MORE PEOPLE THAN ALASTOR AND I LOVE THAT FOR HER. JUST WATCHING “INNICENTLY” WHILE ANGEL PLAYED HIS PORN VID… AND HER AND SIR PENTIOUSSSS “OOH HES A BAD BOY” AND THEN HER WALING IN RIGHT AFTER THE MUSICAL NUMBER BEING LIKE “I HATED THAT YOU’RE NOT A BAD BOY ANYMORE” I LITERALLY LOVE HER SHES SO UNDERRATED!!! AND HUSK JUST REFUSING TO SHARE WHAT KIND OF SHIT SHOW SHE IS!!, FUCKING LOVE HER.

ANYWAY VAGGIE AND CHARLIE ARE LITERALLY SO CUTE (I HAVE SOME CHAGGIE FANART I MADE I JUST UGHHHH LOVE THEM) AND VAGGIE IS SO SWEET ALSO HER WHOLE THING IN THE 3RD EPISODE WHERE SHE’S KINDA LIKE SHES A GENERAL IN THE MILITARY? I FEEL LIKE THAT MIGHT BE A POINT FOR THE VAGGIE IS AN EX-EXORCIST (IF THE EXORCISTS ARE STRCTURED LIKE AN ARMY (LOOK AT ME THEORIZING MATPAT WOULD BE PROUD)) ALSO HER BEING READY TO FUCKING KILL ANYONE LOVEEEEEE!!!

UM ANYWAY ITS ALASTOR TIME AND IF ALL THE COMPLEXITIES OF HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH LITERALLY EVERYONE IN THE CAST AREN’T EXPLAINED IN DEPTH I WILL FUCKING KILL SOMEBODY (PROBABLY VALENTINO I HATE HIM SO MUCH I JUST WANT TO TAKE A KNIFE AMD-) ANYWAY ALL OF ALASTOR’S MONENTS ARE AMAZING I LOVED THE CALLBACK TO “HA! no” AND HIM AND THE EGG BOIS——— ALSO HIS DUET WITH VOX??? AMAZING AND DID ANYONE ELSE NOTICE THAT IT LOW KEY KIND OF SOUNDED LIEK “INSANE” AT SOME PARTS? MY HAZBIN OBESSED MIND ATE THAT SHIT UPPPPP!

WELP THATS PRETTY MUCH ALL I HAVE TO SAY ON THE MAIN CAST ALSO JUST WANT TO MENTION THAT I LOVE HOW WHEN CHARACTERS SING THEY ARE ACTUALLY SINGING!!! LIKE I LOVE IT WHEN MUSICALS ACKNOWLEDGE THE SONGS IT MAKES ME HAPPY

[cosmicdream222]

sorry to be morbid again but do you think we can manifest passing away early? im honestly past the point of wanting to exist and just want to get over this thing that im supposed to be a successful person but im not so idrc if i do or dont live

so many ppl on tarot related blogs ask about their fs but if we dont meet them does it matter and would they just move on with their life? like i think u have to have ur life put together but its genuinely so hard to do these days so i hope my fs wont be sad at all when i die cause i wouldnt be able to make tnem truly happy anyway cause im not happy myself with how things have been

ideally i wouldve done something in a sport or music but that ship sailed long ago and now im so stuck but id hate to be reliant on someone else and i shouldve moved out into my own place but housing is ridiculously expensive where im from and taxes dont help anyone. it takes years and years to pick up a talent so i have wasted those years and ik im just going to struggle to get past 50 if i were to have my own place bc minimum wage jobs suck arse and i dont want to be doinng something lame not that its lame for others to do it, its just not what i wanted to have done at all

you cant even get a degree without needing to fork out hundreds and thousands so yeah none of its easy and sure you can try subliminals but lets face it the systemn we are in is fucked up big time so rn i cant even bother with daydream about how it could have been or the what ifs i had done smth differently or if i had any talent but then theres still the, im too old and too foreign to do any sort of music as most successful groups nowadays are korean and even if i tried to do what they did it would probs end up killing me some way or other

its just either about having to be wealthy or having some type of talent both of which id fail at anyway as i shouldve done it years ago like a normal person who goes from being so so at something to being great at something.

i truly think i was born in wrong generation or i just shouldnt have been born at all then i wouldnt have to fret constantly abt these types of things. i think if the government genuinely sorted shit out for once and helped society ppl would be happier to work for less but im not happy at all with the current state of things. i feel guilty for existing and i hate it sm like god just let me end my life pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee there is nothing worthwhile in store, ik we could try shifting subliminals but have those genuinely worked? like u exit this reality and straight into the one you wanted originally? but then i might as well just pass away cause id have to know what i want in another reality

My dude, take a deep breath. You’ve ranted about all this same exact stuff a bunch of times now and I’m just gonna repeat the same thing I said to you last time:

All of that stuff you mentioned about your current reality is an illusion. Time is an illusion. It does not matter what you’ve done in the past. The economy does not matter. Your present circumstances do not matter.

I’ll add to that: Whatever some tarot reader or TikTok psychic says definitely does not matter. Idk what fs means but I’m guessing something like a twin flame and that is especially 1000% bullshit.

The spiritual community has created an incredible amount of false narratives to make excuses and blame outside forces for why things aren’t going their way. None of it is real. Seriously forget everything you learned about fate, karma, astrology, or anything else that’s saying something else is in control. Reality is an illusion. YOU are in control.

You don’t have to identify with any old bullshit anymore. Stop repeating the old story and think about what you do want. You can have literally ANYTHING! You say you don’t know what you want, ok, but you know what you don’t want, right?

I don’t want to work -> I want to live in a reality where I don’t have to work.

There, you just figured out something you want! It’s that simple.

I totally agree that this society is a horrific shitshow and I don’t want to be aware of it anymore either. But it’s just one version of reality available. It’s not the only reality and it’s not the original reality. You don’t have to be aware of it anymore if you don’t want to be.

You also don’t have to involve death at all. There’s a lot of misconception in the shifting world which has lead to concepts like “permashifting” and “respawning”, but those just all assume this current reality is the original one. It’s not.

Have you watched The Matrix? It’s really more like a documentary than science fiction lol. Just like in the movie, we are being tricked by a simulated virtual reality, controlled by a society that’s using us for our energy. Just think of reality as an escape room. We’re escaping the Matrix. Once you figure out how to leave, you don’t ever have to go back. There are infinite realities available to you, and none are more real or right or original than any others. Remember, death is not an ultimate, nor does it exist in all realities.

I am scripting a utopian reality with my best friend where there is no death, aging, or illness. Everyone is a master manifestor so they always get whatever they want. Nobody has to work and there isn’t even a need for money because we can manifest anything instantly. We can just relax and get massages all day. Everyone lives in peace and harmony and abundance. Animals are treated as equals to humans, we can all communicate with each other, and we can all fly and teleport. Because why the f not? 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

And if you really don’t want to exist (I’m guessing that other ask from a couple weeks ago is you too lol) you don’t have to exist in this reality, or any other. Removing your awareness from all physical reality is known as entering the void. You exist there as pure consciousness, and you can stay there as long as you like. It is you as your highest self. There’s nothing negative about it.

As for the whole subliminal thing, shifting subliminals are just one method. Shifting = manifesting = deciding what you want and experiencing it. It’s something we are always doing and is available to all of us. You don’t need any methods to shift besides intention. We just use methods to convince/calm the annoying human brain that is programmed with society’s limits.

[cupoftaae]

Forever and a day (KTH x READER) series♡ silent treatment cant last forever (chapter 5)

Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.

Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.

Pairing: taehyung x female!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)

word count- 4.1k

chapter warnings: swearing, tae is struggling :( kaito is a fucking LOSER and does a bad thing. literally all I can say is SORRY in advance !! mentions of domestic violence and abuse. Quick mention of pregnancy

A/N- I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, I have most of these already written out, but I like to take time and add ideas as I go along. I kinda came up with a plot twist that will eventually play out, just dont hate me. What can I say? I love angst. ALSO- chapter 6 will be out this weekend possibly, if not, then monday ;) just a treat bc ily guys

"he's such a fucking dumbass" Kaito scoffs and takes a sip of his wine, collapsing back onto the couch next to you. You remained quiet as he ranted after you told him about the night you had.

Immediately after coming back to the apartment with taehyung, you two ended up fighting again. Something about him being childish, you being self centered, him being nosey, and you not being the old you. What does that even mean? You havent changed at all, its him who is always starting these fights.

after that, you packed a bag and ran over to your boyfriends house. It wasnt where you wanted to be, exactly, but you needed a place to hide.

"I dont think he is a dumbass, I just think....hes....i dont know? having a midlife crisis?" you shrugged, leaning into your boyfriends touch.

"midlife crisis....at the ripe age of 23 years old?"

"yeah, I think he is always comparing himself to me, and hes confused about who he wants to be. He wishes he stayed in college so bad, he even signed up for this little credit art course they ha-"

"art??" kaito laughed covering his mouth for a moment

"yeah" you turned around to look at him

"so he thinks finger painting will help him snap into being an adult?"

you stared at him, scrunching your face up in thought. Yeah, you kinda poked at tae and made jokes, but you didnt mean any harm deep down. Maybe you dont understand his little desire to paint away his feelings, but watching kaito laugh about it is different, because he means it. You suddenly felt guilty for talking about him behind his back, even if he was a dick for yelling at you a few hours ago.

"he enjoys it, its kinda cute. If its helping him back onto his feet then who cares...its not like he quit his job or anything, kaito."

"cute? more like immature"

"hey, cmon, leave him alone"

"you cant seriously be defending him"

"I just dont like talking about people behind their back, you know?"

"whatever" he scoffed, taking a sip of his drink before pulling you onto his lap. "wait..." he stopped, thinking before laughing. "I thought....I thought you said you were sick?"

Your heart stopped the minuet he spoke, how could you forget your own fucking lie, more importantly, how is he just catching this?

"Oh I was feeling better, mhm. This morning I felt like shit but I figured it would be better to suck it up and go to the dinner anyways, should have stayed home!" you blurted out and got off his lap, standing to your feet.

"right" he eyed you, standing up as well as he put his drink down. "well....do you wanna go to bed?" he asked, doing that stupid smirk face that made you somewhat angry.

"uhm, well, yeah, but im really tired kai, also im still not feeling 100% you know? so, maybe we should sleep. just..sleep." you nodded quickly and turned around on the ball of your heel, only to be yanked around by the wrist.

Your eyes widened in shock at the sudden action from him, heart pounding in your ears. Was he drunk? who knows, but that was not an ok thing to do regardless.

"let go of me, what the fuck?" you breath out, trying to tug your hand out of his tightening grip.

"you arent lying to me about Taehyung right?"

"what? What are you talking ab- let go!"

"you wouldnt lie to avoid me, right? you and him arent doing shit behind my back?" he asked, anger in his voice, something youve never seen.

"No! theres nothing!! I promise, I was just sick and, kai you are scaring me please!" you whine, mad at the tears that showed up so quickly. He saw your eyes and immediately let go, making you yank yourself backwards quickly, allowing the tears to fall as you hugged yourself.

"oh my god, im so sorry baby, I didnt mean to d-"

You both looked down at the mark left on your wrist from his grip

"shit, im so.....im so sorry, y/n, listen-"

"get away from me!!" you yelled, "Im sleeping in the guest room, d-dont come in, sober the fuck up and dont touch me again, I swear to God..." your voice shakes as you spoke, aware that if he really wanted to, he could hurt you again.

you saw regret in his face, but it didnt matter. jealousy has always been an issue for him, but its never shown like this....it was scary.

you turn quickly to run upstairs, hiding in his guest bedroom and locking the door, you wanted to leave but also didnt have anywhere to go exactly. You promised to meet up with your friend Dahyun tomorrow for lunch, so you would have to ask her to pick you up earlier.

kaito looked at the wine glass that had spilled without him even knowing, sighing and sitting with his face in his hands instead of going after you.

-

Taehyung woke up the next morning in the same state he had fell asleep: mad, clothed, dirty, and missing you.

He knew he was fighting you when it was happening, but there was just an overstimulation of emotions that had over poured, and unfortunately, you happened to be the punching bag.

He made a mental note to call his parents and explain later as he walked into your room. you were still not there. Given the things he said, you doesn't blame you, however he would like to apologize.

He walked into the kitchen and looked at all the food, well, more like ingredients for meals he doesnt know how to make. You said something last night to him about him needing to depend on you with everything, including meals. It hurt, but it was right. He sighed and closed the fridge, moving to go sit on the couch in the quiet apartment before opening his phone to his social media’s.

He hated to see other people and how well they were doing, but he found himself online more often then he used to be, maybe it was to inspire or motivate him, he wasn’t sure. He scrolled across Annie’s art page, stopping to pay extra attention to one post in particular.

She was good, her art was something people would pay money to see, he understood why she would be in all the art classes she could find. The post showed her setting up at the banquet hall a few streets down, something about an art fair. Tae smiled and like the post, wanting to know more about it. He contemplated dming her, eventually just giving in and doing so.

Taehyung: hello Annie, it’s taehyung, you probably know that because you can see my name, anyways, I saw your recent post and was wondering what you were setting up for?

He tapped his phone with his fingers, feeling odd to text someone who wasn’t, well, you.

He was surprised to see her answer quickly

Annie: hey tae :)) i was hoping you would text soon enough. I’m setting up for an art festival at the Julie banquet hall! You should totally come if you aren’t busy :0!!!

He laughed and bit his nail, suddenly hearing your voice in his head telling him not to do that...bad habit.

He texted back

Taehyung: when is it?

Annie: it’s being held this entire week for a viewing, but next weekend there is a contest....winner gets a prize!

taehyung smiled and looked around, that could be huge for him. Maybe this was the universal sign from the universe he needed, a sign that his rash decisions were actually working out for him. He knew he probably wouldn’t be able to go down today, for obvious reasons other than the fact he needs a shower.

He also needed to prepare something worth winning, and that required time.

Taehyung: oh wow...that sounds really interesting. I’ll probably be down later this week, thanks for letting me know.

He tossed his phone to the side and began to head for his room, knowing that he wouldn’t leave until he created a masterpiece.

As fun as this was, he had to admit, it was a good distraction from you.

-

"How come kai couldnt just drop you off?" Dahyun looked over at you, taking a bite of her sandwich. "well, he was a bit hungover, he had a lot to drink last night" you cleared your throat, sipping your water.

It had been a while since you and your friend saw eachother, and going out for lunch together was nice, a step away from all the boy drama going on. You were in college, and you just wanted to do normal stuff and leave the high school shit behind.

Dahyun sat back and looked you over, concern on her face. "sweetheart are you alright?"

"why wouldnt I be?

"because you look like shit, in the nicest way. Have you been sleeping?"

you laugh, looking down at your hands, "yeah, ....well, no"

"mhm, whats going on?"

"tae and I got into a fight last night, and it was just really annoying because we are always fighting nowadays, I hate it."

"is that why you were at kaitos?"

you nodded, eyes looking out the window. "I should have just stayed at the apartment though. I hate to admit it but I kinda miss him, he hasnt texted me" you sighed and re-checked your phone.

"hes a grown man, y/n, he can handle shit"

you looked at your friend, quick to remind yourself that they dont see the true venerability of taehyung like you do, they dont know that he's just emotional and feels things differently than others, so as much as you hate to say it....he cant take care of himself.

"mm" you shrug, taking a bite of a fry. "lets just talk about something else?" you suggest

"okay, let me think...." dahyun smiled to herself, searching her brain for something to talk about. "Oh did you hear about chae?" she suddenly spoke up

"no, what about her? is she ok?"

"dude she had such a pregnancy scare, she called me 2 nights ago because she was fully convinced she was preggo....shes not though so its alright" she shrugged

your eyes widened at your friends words, "what?...how did I not know this? why didnt she call me?"

"well, not to start anything but...we kinda have been calling and texting you, but you dont seem to have time anymore, which is perfectly fine, but we miss you."

you slumped down into your seat, food on the plate in front of you has now gone cold and unedible. "I dont know, man. Life is so messy right now, theres just so much going on. I miss you guys like crazy, we need to plan like a sleepover or a girls weekend." you suggest, leaning into the palm of your hand sadly.

"hey, y/n, just breathe, everything will be okay. If you are free next weekend I know a friend of mine is throwing a really fun party, i'll text you the info if you are down to go?"

you smiled hopefully, not that you were the super most outgoing person on campus, but the idea of going to a party with other kids seemed like a set up to meet some new people.

"Dahyun that sounds really fun, yes please send me the info, is chae going?" you ask, pulling out your phone

"mhm, yep...but we are gonna have to keep her with us because her boyfriend is going...well now ex boyfriend considering they broke up over this whole 'almost pregnant' scare, and-"

you quickly shut out your friends voice as you checked your socials, suddenly coming across a photo taehyung had posted on his story of a painted canvas, seemed normal enough, except the fact someone was there with him. at your apartment.

you whip your head up, "I think I have to go, im sorry, uh, something just came up and I need to get home, but uhm, you'll have to text me about nate and chae!" you spoke quickly, grabbing your purse and standing. "Thank you for having me out, I really needed it. Dont forget to text me the party details!!" you sing as you hug her and make a dash for the door.

-

You exited the elevator and made your way down the hall quickly, searching for your keycard in your over packed purse before bumping into someone and falling to the floor.

"ow? hel-, oh.." you quiet down when your eyes meet the person waiting outside your apartment door. kaito.

"What are you doing here?" you quickly stood to your feet and brushed past him, still searching for the key.

"baby, you havent answered my calls, we need to talk about last night. Im so sorry, I never meant to make you feel unsafe, im going through so much and I just....I just, I dont know what happened, but im so sorry!" he rambled quickly, touching your back and making you stop your movements.

"kaito..."

"i know, im so sorry, i suck and im an asshole and you probably hate me, I would too"

you sighed as your hands fell to your sides, turning to face him. "you....you arent an asshole, dont say that." you breathe out, grabbing his hand "just promise me you'll cut down on the drinking or something...I dont wanna see that again." you felt guilt throughout your chest as he looked down.

"I promise, baby, I will"

you pulled him into a hug and squeezed him, rubbing his back and moving to kiss his cheek. "head home, now, please" you whispered, watching his face fall.

"wait why? I was hoping we could hang out or make food or something?" he gestures towards your front door. "hm, Im sorry kai, maybe after classes sometime this week, I have to handle something right now...you know how he is" you quieted your voice at the last part, watching your boyfriend nod.

"okay....just, uh, text me ok?"

you smiled and nodded, "of course"

once he made a turn for the hall, you placed your keycard into the door and walked into the apartment to see Annie and Taehyung in the kitchen. You usually werent too keen on having random people in your house, you and tae promised to not invite others there without letting eachother know.

"y/n..." tae turned and saw you, making annie stop whisking whatever was in the bowl she held.

"tae" you nod, waving quietly to the short girl behind him. "didnt know there was something going on today" you joke, putting your bag down and walking in with arms crossed over your body.

"I just invited her over because it was a little too quiet over here" he joked, looking at her and smiling.

"ah I see" you smile and lean against the island counter. "what are you guys making?"

"apple pie" annie cheerfully responds, moving to her phone to change the song that was playing

"oh, yummy" you awkwardly reply, somewhat angry that she was in your kitchen and took it upon herself to use your ingredients that you bought yourself.

"tae, can we talk?" you turn to him, talking quietly.

"yeah..." he looked over at annie, "ill be right back"

she replied with a thumbs up before returning to her baking, reading the recipe off tae's phone.

You led him into your room before shutting the door and leaning against it, the boy looking back at you like he was expecting to get yelled at. "I'm sorry" you exhale, "For the other night, I dont wanna keep doing this with you" you shrug

"I dont wanna fight with you either." he spoke simply, biting the inside of his cheek nervously.

"I dont...I dont really know whats been going on with us but I rather just sit and be your friend than your enemy, you know"

he nodded, "you are right, and Im sorry too, all that shit I said, I didnt mean it, It was out of frustration which still isnt okay bu-"

you cut him off with a hug, "its okay"

he took a moment before wrapping his arms around you in return, "Are you mad she is here?" he whispered, "no...just wish you would have texted me...."

"i know, im sorry" he shook his head, sighing. "um, also, my parents called and I explained kinda the situation simply and they seemed to understand somewhat. I spoke honestly with them about how their words effected me and shit, and they said they would try to stop...well...mostly my mom will try to stop" he laughed, making you smile.

"they want us to go over to their house before they go back home, sometime later this week. I know you have classes and stuff but even if its just for one night over there, ill drive you to school in the morning if you need" he added.

"okay, we will work it out, im proud of you for sticking up for yourself" you laughed softly, making him look down shyly. "did you take your medication today?" you remembered to ask suddenly

he looked up at you and pressed his lips together before hesitantly shaking his head, "uh...I forgot.."

you sigh, "okay, lets go take it" you grabbed his hand and went back into the kitchen, brushing past annie to get to the medicine cabinet.

You took notice of how the girl eyed you and your hand against his, making you smirk to yourself. Even if you and tae were just friends, you knew no one would ever be able to squeeze between you both, not kaito nor annie.

"here, bubs" you whisper, handing him his pill and a water bottle

"whats that?" annie spoke up, cutting up apples on your good cutting board you didnt even get to use yet, making your eye twitch.

"allergy meds" taehyung spoke up, taking a sip of water as you look back at him with sympathetic eyes, his face telling you to just not say anything. His ADHD was something he assumed he should be ashamed of, something people would always use to blame his behavior on.

He didnt want to be that, he just wanted to be Taehyung.

Annie nodded and patted her hands on her apron before moving to the next thing, engaging in conversation with taehyung. "so what were you saying before she came in?" she asked, catching you off guard as you threw your hands up and walked over to tidy the living room area.

"Oh I was just talking about the art thing and how-"

"tae.." you stopped fluffing the pillows to turn to him, making annie sigh as you once again interrupted their conversation.

"what?" he looked around, confused.

"why arent you working? todays a work day?"

"oh, uh-...."

Annie smiled, "I didnt know you had a job, where do you work?"

Tae looked between the two of you before speaking up, "well...I used to work at this buisn-"

"used to? you got fired??" you walked over and held his arm

"no no....I quit, like....last week" he huffed, seeming relieved to get it off his chest. "tae, why did you, what?? why would you do that?" you looked at him seriously, knowing that there was no income for you two anymore.

"because I plan to apply for college again, I have a whole thing in the works, y/n, I promise, I didnt just do it on a whim" he spoke quickly

"y/n, he can handle himself" annie sarcastically spoke with a smile

"kindly leave please, him and I need to talk" you finally looked back at her, making her plead to taehyung.

"what? but we were doing something!" she puts the rolling pin down when tae shrugged, "im sorry annie, ill text you okay?" he walked her out before apologizing again and shutting the door.

"well aint she the sweetest" you scoff and collapse on the couch. "come here please" you spoke calmly, wanting to approach this correctly. Taehyung walked over slowly and sat on the couch next to you, keeping his body close and away from you.

You took a deep breath in and looked at him, "tae, honey, why did you do that?"

he shrugged, sighing.

"look at me"

he turned his head around to you after a few seconds, revealing the tears in his eyes. "tae..."

you are quick to wrap him into your arms, "its ok, im not mad. I just wish you told me, everything makes more sense now" you mumble

"Im sorry for not saying anything, I was just so unhappy working there and I just had to leave" he chokes out, face hidden into your shoulder. your hand finds his hair as he gently pulls away.

"i'll find a side job or something, but I really am serious about this school thing" he quickly muttered as you wiped his tears.

"Its okay...I can probably pick up tutoring for Mrs.Chin again, she pays well and if I do it after classes everyday it'll probably be enough to sustain rent" you sigh, rubbing his arm.

you watched as the boys face was filled with regret and sadness, making your heart split in two. "dont tell my parents, please" he whispers

"no...of course not" you smile lightly, "ive learned my lesson"

Taehyung laughed and leaned back against the end of the couch, head looking up at the ceiling. "so....we can talk more later if you like, but for now lets go finish making that apple pie" you leaned into him jokingly, making him laugh.

You two got up and walked into the kitchen "why did you let her use my cutting board" you pouted

"im sorry" he smiled shyly "If it counts, I know nothing about how to bake, and if I was the one making the pie we would all be food poisoned."

you laughed, "i'll teach you"

-

You two sat in Taehyungs bedroom, both eating a slice of apple pie as he played some game on his Xbox, you watching.

"so..." you began, scarping your fork on your plate. "art, huh?"

he paused his game and turned to you, smiling, "what?"

"youre passionate about it?"

"yeah, I suppose" he shrugged, watching you get up and walk over to his desk. "I saw these on instagram, they are actually quite nice" you added, eyeing them over as he came up behind you. "yeah, those were just some doodling to be honest." he itched his neck.

"but uh, im working on something big. Can I show you?" he spoke, watching you nod before pulling a canvas from his closet and placing it down.

The sketch included an empty, bare forest of trees in the center of a town square, details to a perfect ten on even the smallest things. "Its not done, not in the slightest but..."

"woah.....holy shit tae, you...wow" you were actually in awe. You knew he liked art, but this was beyond anything youve seen from him, it genuinely made you feel something. "this is really beautiful, is this pencil work?"

"thank you" he mumbled shyly, a blush on his face, "yeah, its pencil, I plan to add color to everything but the tree, itll remain black and white." he spoke, looking it over himself.

"does it mean anything?" you pondered aloud.

"well...its like this, trees lose everything they have in the winter, no leaves no flowers, nothing, right?" he spoke as you listened, "yet they still are just...there, while everything continues to progress and move around them, because they know if they wait, whats theirs will grow back."

"wow...." you said again, truly speechless by his work. Clearly you underestimated him, because this is beyond anything youve seen.

He looked at you lovingly before clearing his throat and putting it away again, "yeah... its for this art contest that Annie told me about. Winner gets like, a cash prize, im not sure how much, but it doesnt matter because they also win a trip to a really cool art museum in Paris" he looked back at you.

"Paris?...wow tae, I have no doubts you will win this"

"dont jinx it" he teased, walking back to his chair.

you put your hands up in defense, giggling. "so is it an art show?" you asked, following him

"yeah, I was actually gonna ask if you wanted to come....the exhibit is all this week and I plan on going on friday....was gonna ask if you'd wanna come with?" he spoke quietly, hopeful tone evident.

"hmm..I would love to" you smiled and grabbed his plate to clear, heading towards the kitchen

"oh, also...." he sat up, making you turn to him. "whats up?" you ask,

"I know this is kinda odd, but would you mind if you just...like, slept in here tonight?"

your eyes widened at him, making him feel like he overstepped

"I shouldnt have said that im sorry, I just didnt sleep last night and I always fall asleep quickly with you"

you giggled quietly, "no its okay, ill sleep here alright?" you watched his face light up , nodding

"thank you..."

-

"what happened to your arm?" tae asked as you climbed into his bed and shut the light off.

"what do you mean?" you were confused, sitting the side opposite of him. Taehyung pointed to your wrist, oh...yeah, that.

"oh I burnt myself, curling iron. wasnt paying attention" you sighed as he frowned. "be careful, ok?"

you nodded, "ok"

once you both were in and under the covers, the silence was welcoming. To be fair, you slept best here too, and the last time you laid here the circumstances were completely different, so it was a bit weird.

You laughed to yourself when you heard his soft snores after a few minuets, he wasnt joking. you lifted your arm and raised your fingers across your wrist.

be careful

there was so much to be careful about, and if only he knew the full extent of it.

You looked over at the sleeping boy next to you before turning to your side and closing your eyes, allowing yourself to just be here, in his bed, in this very moment, because it gave you the safety and comfort you needed so badly

be careful .....

taglist-

@turnthepageandbeburnt

@taebangtanbabe

@kthstrawberryshortcake-main

@borahaexoxo

@lelefoodlover

@tan-veee