#im just on my 3am bullshit dont mind me

[its-no-biggie]

hi its 3am and im brainrotting again. can we talk about the first time we see dazai and chuuya interact? the scene where dazai gets caught by the mafia and chuuya comes to taunt him while hes chained to the wall? rewatching it after knowing their full history..... like. they started working together when they were children. fought side by side for YEARS. sure, they bickered the entire time, but chuuya explicitly put his life in dazais hands on multiple occasions. they claim to hate each other, but their actions speak otherwise. they were PARTNERS. the deadly duo. soukoku. THEN dazai disappears for like a year or two? (i forget the timeline but im pretty sure its around that.) [EDIT: four years. four years???? oh my god. cant believe i was so far off. dont post things at 3am lmao. ty @azapofinspiration] just fucking drops off the face of the earth. and chuuya claims he celebrated when dazai left- in fact, he probably did! but you know he missed him. you KNOW. he just wont admit it to himself

and now, after dazai has been missing for a substantial amount of time, hes back. playing for the enemy team. can you fucking IMAGINE this from chuuyas perspective????? god, id be FURIOUS. [well. id be feeling a lot of things. but anger is easier than unpacking all of that.] and he also knows that dazai is too smart to be captured by the mafia, so he goes to give him a piece of his mind, ask him what his fucking deal is, and finally be the one picking on HIM for once. let out some of the frustration [and definitely no other feelings] from his former partner betraying him, disappearing, and then showing up again a year later. and then what actually happens? dazai reads him like a fucking book, taunts him with the opportunity to kill him, blackmails him for information, and then reveals that he could have just left at any time but he SPECIFICALLY waited to fuck with chuuya. and then humiliates him on the way out! the absolute DISRESPECT.

and like. not only is this an EXCELLENT introduction to their relationship- it establishes that they know each other very well, they used to be partners but now theyre enemies, and that the hostility between them is very familiar- but it gets SO MUCH FUNNIER with the full context. like dazai doing All That is disrespectful enough, but this is after he: left the mafia without so much as a goodbye, BLEW UP CHUUYAS CAR, disappeared for FOUR YEARS, then silently reappeared as a member of an enemy organization? the absolute AUDACITY. no wonder chuuya threatened to kill him!

and then. and THEN. chuuya STILL uses corruption the next time they meet. WHAT.

and its because no matter how much bullshit chuuya puts up with, he KNOWS that dazai has his back when it really counts. even after ALL OF THAT, he still trusts dazai with his LIFE. ohhhhh my god i need to lie down. they make me ILL

[yifftwiceplz]

△ How are you feeling about your life right now?

1/10 invasive

feeling pretty good man i mean im pretty beat a lot of the time but i dont mind i guess i didnt realize how isolated i was until i joined here and started hanging out with folks in small ways during the day i love it

love my wife and our boring life (complimentary) (for real) (i like that its boring he likes that its boring we like having a safe boring house where everything goes our way and its so easy to live and sleep)

love my job "job" scare quotes i mean i do make money but sometimes it feels lame like i just sit around and hyperfixate on something and piddle around on the computer but i love it i love being able to make things that are me, on my own schedule

love my brother and i dont give a fuck what anyone thinks or what bullshit i have to deal with later down the line cuz hes here right now and hes awesome to hang around with if hes confident enough to drop his barriers around you

love my mom and my sister from the bottom of my heart even if i dont get to see them as much as i used to love all my friends and extended family

love being on earth and wanting a bag of chips at 3am and wandering my pajamad ass to the cornerstore for a bunch of snacks love lazy walks around the neighbourhood

love movie nights with dj and love hanging out in kanayas watch parties

love being a jestie

love being king of da dashborde

peace on planet earth forever amen

[motleyfam]

I posted 2,267 times in 2022

36 posts created (2%)

2,231 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@desperatecheesecubes

@mooitstimdrake

@batshit-birds

@sohotthateveryonedied

@sun-moon-stars-jedi

I tagged 454 of my posts in 2022

#the batman - 25 posts

#fave - 18 posts

#batfam - 9 posts

#atla - 9 posts

#bruce wayne - 8 posts

#dick grayson - 7 posts

#damian wayne - 6 posts

#this sparks joy - 6 posts

#amen - 6 posts

#tim drake - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#thinking of that ‘superman wrecking a whole ass train to save a child on the tracks who he could have just swooped away from danger’ post

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

hey! so its 4am and ive just finished my, um... fifth(?) reread of world's saddest breakfast club and like! aaahhhh!!!

do u got abything to tell us abt this story? like sbt the writing proccess or things u thought that did not make it in or hc or anything really. i dont have a question exactly, just wanted to hear you talk about it. im a bit. well. obssesed.

Oooh cool question! I definitely do!

World's Saddest Breakfast Club: Fun Facts

The opening line is a result of me angsting to @batmoniker about how I couldn't figure out how to start my fic, and her jokingly being like "I got you, bro. Ready? 'It was a dark and stormy night'" and then me just being stubborn and committing to the bit.

The story started with a vague idea of "everyone in the kitchen at 3am for different reasons and Jason channeling his inner short order cook." All I knew going in was the order I wanted people to appear, what was wrong with them (sick, hurt, insomnia, etc) and what food Jason would be making for them. Everything else I made up as I went.

If I could go back and change one thing about this fic, I'd reduce how long Jason was kidnapped to like, 6-8 days, max. 16 days seemed funny when I wrote it, but in hindsight, I feel like he'd be a little more fucked up in the story if he were really escaping from that many days of captivity lmao

I headcanon Dick as the kind of person who straight-up forgets to eat when he's preoccupied, and Jason as the kind of person who cannot FATHOM this concept. Jason absolutely will miss a meal if the situation calls for it, don't get me wrong, but he's aware the entire time he's doing it and it makes him super antsy. (This once turned into A Thing™ when Jason was like, 13 years old and staying with Dick for the weekend for some brotherly bonding and Dick forgot about lunch and by 5pm, Jason maybe sorta kinda had a minor panic attack about it. Dick was a lot more mindful of that moving forward)

Bruce's favorite food being lobster thermidor is a reference to the Lego Batman movie

I wrote this whole fic with Julia Child's recipe pulled up in one tab and my google doc in the other

At some point I realized that since I started with fresh lobsters, I was going to have to write Jason killing them, and it derailed me so hard that the fic nearly became about meatloaf instead. (Never mind the fact that Jason canonically kills human beings — that's totally fine. I just draw the line at him killing lobsters 😰)

(in the end I just kinda glossed over it and made sure they were already cooked before Damian appeared so I wouldn't have to address it 😬)

Dick's reoccurring shoulder injury is a reference to the DCAU where I swear that man has dislocated his shoulder/injured his arm at least 4x

The line about Tim being allergic/throwing up when he eats eggs was inspired by a line in chap 11 of @goldkirk's fic Hymn, which I've reread about 37x

Jason is correct— grits are fucking delicious and definitely not baby food.

My favorite line is "Okay there’s self-sacrificial bullshit, and then there’s whatever the fresh hell that is."

The idea for Cass being a big meat-eater comes from a comic panel where Steph offers her a plate of rice and beans and Cass says needs meat and starts mischievously eying Steph's hamster. Can't find the panel to save my life, but I promise it's out there.

EDIT: finally found it!

Steph's nickname of "Zombie Boy" for Jason is borrowed from @audreycritter's Cor Et Cerebrum series (which is a fucking masterpiece, btw)

This fic was gonna be called "Creatures of the Night" until batmoniker said Steph's line made for a better title

Several people have asked me whether Jason was really cooking Bruce's lobster to spite him, or if he was actually intending to make it for him all along. The answer is... both? Like Jason's kind of an unreliable narrator in that he's trying to convince himself that he's just doing what he's doing to be a little shithead when deep down it's all stemming from his need to take care of his family, you know? Like he'll never admit it, but that's where his heart is at.

To everyone who's asked for a part 2 where the family finds out Jason was kidnapped, I'm gonna be honest: the main reason I don't think I'm ever going to write that scene is because I can't come up with a good enough joke for him to make to accidentally out himself ☠️

90 notes - Posted September 18, 2022

#4

Imagine Bruce starting therapy and learning about all these cool new tricks and gadgets that can help with emotional regulation and getting super invested (because I mean, c’mon, the dude’s like the king of gadget hoarding, he’s got a utility belt for goodness sake)

Then imagine the learning curve of him realizing that just because something works great for one of his kids, doesn’t mean it works for all of them, as illustrated by this memorable incident:

Jason gets really upset and starts having a minor panic attack about something

Bruce, proud owner of 14 new weighted blankets (in various styles, weights, and sizes), tries to wrap his adult son up in one to ground him

After all, Bruce himself finds them super comforting because it’s basically a socially acceptable alternative to wearing a massive Kevlar cape 24/7 like he’d do if he could

(Tim loves them too, so like, kid tested, parent approved™️)

Ends up totally backfiring when the added weight & restricted movement sends Jason into a full-blown flashback of digging out of his own grave, taking this panic attack from like a 4 to a 10

Whoops

130 notes - Posted December 6, 2022

#3

Sometimes I get really hung up on trying to make all the logistics and time frame work out in my fanfics

Then I see how the professionals handle this dilemma:

211 notes - Posted March 12, 2022

#2

I have a headcanon that Dick doesn’t actually like cereal nearly as much as he pretends to.

He just knew that Bruce felt bad about his own cooking ineptitude in the early days after taking his new ward in, so whenever Alfred had the night off, the 9-year-old insisted cereal was his ‘favorite food on the planet’ because it was something that Bruce could actually handle preparing for him without setting off the smoke alarms and it made him happy to do it

372 notes - Posted April 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Tim hardly ever wears seatbelts.

It’s not a conscious choice at this point really, he just never got into the habit. When he outgrew his last car seat at age five, his parents didn’t bother getting him a booster and just let him sit in the normal seat, so the belt always felt like it was cutting into his neck and he hated it. He put up a big fuss about it once on the way to some important event, and his parents just huffed, “Fine, don’t wear it then. Fly out the window for all I care” and that was that. They never forced him again.

He just so rarely has to wear one that it slips his mind. Buses don’t have seatbelts. Motorcycles don’t have seatbelts. The Batmobile has them, but they’re rarely used due to the necessity for split-second drop ins and getaways.

It’s not until he’s 17 and driving with Jason somewhere that he finally gets called out on it. Not only called out, but told in a no nonsense sort of way “This car ain’t moving till I hear a fucking click. What, did they stop showing ‘Red Asphalt’ in drivers ed while I was dead??”

(They do still show it. Tim just slept through that class)

557 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[fuuuka]

only thanatos has permission to kill me.

[pinkpicket]

What is blocking your success?

Mfs be ready for typos bc I haven't reviewed this 🤡

Choose an image starting with pile 1 to 6 from left to right.

Pile 1

Wow okay so remember how the society and capitalism constantly screams in our fuvking face telling us the reason why we're not successful? How u don't work hard enough? How u should actually be waking up at 3am to hustle bc that's how billionaires do it? Well that's fucking bullshit so get that shit out of ur mind. U genuinely think bill gates and ms kylie jenner hustled day and night to get $7.25 an hour? No baby they did not. So leave that mindset, it's stupid and it's literally damaging u. My advice would be to actually relax and spoil urself instead of shitting on urself for needing 9 hours of sleep. Baby i will be honest with u, as long as u treat urself harshly the universe will treat u the same. So give urself some love and relax, u deserve it.

Pile 2

Ya u need to stop thinking about relationships and dating and actually start planning and shit bc guess what? Shit needs planning it dont just happen out of thin air. So sit ur ass down and write down a plan and change the plan 74747 if that's what it takes for it to work out.

Pile 3

Communication. Baby u really lack the ability to properly communicate and persuade others. Trust me i get where u r coming from, people are fucking annoying but in this society we have to basically learn to stfu at times and not be honest bc truly that's what everyone does. So keep ur thoughts to urself and form relationships on a superficial level ( be detached ) just so u can progress in ur life and career. Remember people's ego are fragile so dont fuvk up ur life with being unnecessarily harsh and honest with ur words, be diplomatic and suger coat that shit till it turns so sweet they get hooked.

Pile 4

Whatever direction ur heading toward rn holds no success. So u wanna be the hermit and find urself? That's great but in this fucked up capitalistic society that wont bring u success. I genuinely hate to say this but spirituality is not possible with success ( materially and career wise at least) for you ( this is just for u bc others actually require to be spiritual to be successful). Also it's time for u associate and talk to people more, being an introvert is a big disadvantage for you, so go out, make friends and soon u will find success. Group work will bring you success.

Pile 5

Enough of planning, it's time to work. Dont just sit around and expect great shit to happen only bc u manifested it ( remember saturn rules everything material in this world, so if u want a successful career with good money, u gotta go by saturn's rules which are being disciplined and hard work) dont relay on shit that people from tiktok snd tumblr tell u to do "all u have to do is manifest by this technique" and not do shit?? Baby that's not how real life works. U work and u get what u deserve ( at least for u this is like this, hell manifestation might work for others but for u i see this as a different case)

Pile 6

Baby ur tired and i know, i truly see u worked hard and nothing happened. It's like all that hard work was wasted but relax now bc something big is coming. Baby u r getting what u deserve, idk when but it will come. Honestly im genuinely soo happy bc u truly deserve this. So what's blocking ur success? Nothing. Whatever it is, it will come at the right time.

Okay bye uglies. Hope u liked this NOW FOLLOW ME BC IM LITERALLY SO HELPFUL AND PRETTY 🥰💕

[atiny-piratequeen]

Dear Miss Fie, yesterday, I made up my mind to leave Tumblr. I even said goodbye to anyone. I hadn't logged out, so I got notifications. Against my better judgement, i decided to check it and ended up spending a good few minutes on it. When I saw what happened with your account, I'm very embarrassed. I feel mortified actually. That someone who hates me is going after you. I'm glad that Mr Lilac, Ms Atinyarmy and Ms yunhofingers whom I know defended you. I genuinely and wholeheartedly apologise. I was not thinking of deactivating. But if I do, maybe if do it this could end. I feel so awful. I just... I'm sorry.

I legit don't know why you're apologizing. Im sorry if this comes off weird sounding but you're not the first person I've defended and had hate anons come to my box and bark and woof at me from behind their little wall of anonymity. You wont be the last.

You and the dumbass "anon" following me are new to my blog so you dont know how i work here so I'll just tell you flat out what people who've been following me for a while already know;

There's not a single thing some fuckass on anon can say to me that will legitimately make me take them seriously. Ive always had the mentality that if you've got something to fucking say, you say it with your chest and people talking shit on anon are only solidifying that every time they spew whatever bullshit from their mouth, they're not even remotely ready to own up to the consequences of their own actions. They hide because they wanna talk shit and dont wanna have people tell others about their actions if they're an active blog, dont wanna be kicked from nets or blocked, dont wanna deal with other people dming them and sending them asks that are just as harassing or tear apart whatever they sent someone else.

Thats why anons send hate on anon. Because they're cowards.

This person deleted their blog. Made a whole new one, new email and all, and came back to me conviently the same day you said you'd leave to...? Continue making a fucking fool out of themselves. They literally didnt make me upset in the slightest yesterday and i can assure you my friends and i spent a jolly good time fucking laughing at them for their piss poor attempt to do so. They're my fan at this point, hope they kick back and read a few fics since they're already here swimming around my blog all in my business again.

And the thing about the bullshit display we saw yesterday is yall all got to see the same ignorant shit i was sending scs for in my dms. This person with their shitty grammar and their anti black ass mentality that lines up with some drunk ass white karen in walmart in 3am annoying people about "why cant it just be ALL lives matter" ass vibes. I can assure you. Not a single thing that stale granola bar yesterday said actually did anything to me.

You dont need to apologize for shit. If i was worried about someone coming to my blog and saying something to me for defending you, i would have went on anon to defend you, i wouldn't have dropped this blog instead of my main, i wouldn't have dmmed that person first when they were harassing you. I could care less about them being in my ask box and while i appreciate the others having my back, even if they didnt, i would've been fine handling Ronald McDonald the clown in my box just fine.

As I've said, you arent the first person I've stood up for and defended and suddenly had bitch ass anons in my box and you won't be the last. Thats just what Mama Fie does. Now stop apologizing on behalf of someone else's ignorance, drink some water, have a snack or a meal, and enjoy your day. Because baby i assure you, im doing just fine here.

[naomihilah]

Day three:

My boss is an asshole, since we are in lockdown cuz of corona even though our office is considered safe for work cuz we are emergency whatever bullshit idk we are allowed to come into work but he has decided to keep the office closef until next tuesday but im pissed cuz i woke up at 6 to shower and take my meds and had i known i wasnt going to work today i wouldnt have taken my meds its a waste. I mean im anyways doing nothing at home wasting my time cuz i cant go out lockdown and he wont let us come in, and i know he is doing it on purpose cuz all employees are hourly payed and he is trying to reduce our hours so he doesnt have to pay is as much but in more annoyed at the fact that he told us so late he wont open cuz i took the meds and i cant sleep on meds like ever takes me forever to fall asleep i need to be so so so tired like 4 am kinda of tired (thats why its 1:21 am right now and im still up) and i usually only take my meds if i know that im studying or working or im gonna have a busy day that requires me to give my full function not just a lay about the house day, so in the end i drove myself crazy. I tried starting a book after ten minutes got bored got my laptop browsered around the internet after ten minutes got bored of that started walking around the house and sighing got bored of that.Just drove myself crazy with boredom.

I have a plan to fly to the east once its allowed again. I have a friend whose cousin lives in Japan and we said we would go visit her, I also want to visit South Korea and China again (i was to little the first time to remember any of it probably) I basically want to travel again. I feel like traveling and inmersing myself in different languages and cultures and rich histories of other countries and continents makes me so happy and i feel so fulfilled its like this overwhelming feeling of content soars through me its great i need it.

Im tired but my brain wont shut up. Im thinking of nothing and everything at the same time, its insane and exasperating, sometimes i just want to cut through my skull take out my brain shut it off put it on my bedside stand go to sleep and in the morning put it back in my skull and live life man but thats not how this works, i lately have thought more about just dying to make it stop, i mean im not depressed i dont suffer from anything major in life other than that, i just want my brain to stop just stop please im begging you just let me sleep for ince stop thinking about that stupid movie. I remember watching eat pray love and how she learns to meditate and making her mind go blank and im always trying that but somehow I always end up creating a pyramid of bullshit thoughts that started with julia roberts and ended with the theory of a useless youtube video i watched 5 years ago, like please brain could you explain to me why on earth at 3am you need to start bringing up stuff that are 5 years old irrelevant were useless then and are useless now? Why? How is this helping? WHO is this helping? NOT ME thats for damn sure!!!!

Anyways cant write anymore lost interest see you tomorrow!

Peace!

23-24/09/20 1:36am

[fatstripper-blog]

SUCK MY DICK SCHOOL!

There's so many people who will immediately get pissed off reading this title, but I don't care. This is how it goes down for me. Every morning I have to wake up at 6 AM, no snooze alarm on my alarm clock, just get out of bed and that's that. No messing around. Then it takes me about half an hour to get ready, and I have to walk to school, IN THE WINTER! but if any of you reading this in england, you will know that winter is practically 24/7 here, im pretty sure the sun just fucking hates us. By the time I get to school, I'm starving and what do I get from the breakfast line? A 3/4 cup of a bowl of cereal and half a pint of milk to go with it. That's my breakfast.  Then I have to climb up 3 flights of stairs with a 15 pound backpack every morning, but not to forget the 6 A3 sketchbooks i have to carry because for the three teachers and classes that I attend, my teachers try to makethe most out of our pain and force us to carry them all the time even if we dont need them. Then il get to form, to sit inbetween two of the most irritating humans alive! As much as its diffictult to believe, I dont think u can ever relate to this type of annoyance, it gets to the point that I will just walk out of my classroom, get into detention for leaving, just so I can get away from those two. And if you dont know what annoying means, its when someone can't shut the fuck up and has to make a fool of themselves infront of everyone to try to prove something. They scream and whine all day about bullshit no one cares about. You should want to strangle the shit out of them cause they're so god damn annoying. I also get to hear them complain about their day, as if mine's wasn't enough. Then the classes start, giving me only 4 minutes to get there on time. Don't even get me started on lunch. I'm not holding in a bathroom break until I get home (7 hours), so I use the bathroom before lunchtime. But of course, the massive herd of kids just pile the cafeteria, and the line for food stretches out. I have to wait in line for 10-15 minutes just for these kids to come to the lunchlady and say "umm...." and by the time I get my food, it's a cold sub, with cold fruit and cold lettuce on the side, no sweets. I get maybe 5-10 minutes to scoff it down and deal with indigestion later, and I rush to my next class. Then the homework. It takes my all night to do it. When do I finish? 3am. No free time all week, until Saturday or Sunday, which if you havent yet experienced A-Levels its barley counted as a weekend. Then I have to do it all over again. And guess what? Even the goddamn teachers and every single adult will say to me, "A-Levels are NOTHING, univesity is much worse. You have absolutely no idea." Well FUCK me then. I don't understand why anyone graduating from university isn't suicidally depressed yet. But maybe it's because they don't try as much; maybe they don't care about their grades. The bags under my eyes are going to multiple tenfold it seems. And yet these people are still alive, it's miraculous. I understand they might have better living conditions, being in middle class and all, but what the fuck. I find myself speechless at the sight of a person having compassion and kindness and love towards other humans after restless nights in torment without any time to themselves. I would grow resentful to any human surrounding me, just the fact that people are unable to realize how much I would be dealing with at the time. You might say that children in Africa have it worse, what with malnutrition and having a hut of mud. Well at least they do not have as many complex troubles on their mind. They have a loving family to stick together towards, a sense of community, being blissfully ignorant. Here I am stuck at the lowest rank in society of them all, every adult thinks I am just a juvenile deliquent high schooler, every other high schooler is unaware of my situation. A silent misery. And this will all pay off eventually, they say. I highly doubt it. If there is a long and treacherous path toward liberty for me, then why are there practically no small mercies for me? One thing good happens in the day, then another thing turns worse to even it out. There appears to be no end. "A-Level is absolutely nothing, University MUCH harder." Those words resonate in my head....GODDAMN IT THOSE WORDS WANT TO MAKE ME RIP OUT THE FUCKING THROAT OF THE PERSON WHO SAID IT!!!

[growsgardengrows]

I hope you dont mind a 3am rant but

EDIT: please for the love of god do NOT r///eblo/g this post.

Massive spoilers dd//adds but whatever im too angry I’m super super sorry for the wall of text, i’m on mobile and can’t actually add a read more. Feel free to skip if u dont want to read this

Full offense but if the cult ending actually ends up being real and not a nightmare or what the fuck ever im not…. buying the game Because honestly, for a product thats marketed as a cutesy gay dating sim (and god knows we need those), adding a secret dark ending where one of the datable characters is revealed to be a bloodthirsty demon that gets off on the misery of lgbt men is…. actually really homophobic and terrible narrative in general This was actually a game i care about and anticipated a lot, i was hopeful that this would finally be the a step in the right direction. And you know what’s worse?? IT ACTUALLY IS FOR THE MOST PART You have these beautiful heartwarming (and heartbreaking) stories that honest to god made me tear up more than once, the characters are all diverse and super lovable – hell, one of the romanceable dads is canonically trans, how awesome is that?– and then??you throw in that grimdark bullshit for what?? shock factor?? Come on. And you can’t even say “well but you can avoid that route” because like, yeah, i could, but it still exists. It’s still in the game and it’s still canon. It’s still THERE. Even if i help robert make amends with his daughter or go camping with craig it doesn’t change the fact that joseph is a spawn of satan that leads a blood cult. Now, i REALLY want to see the glass half full and keep hoping the whole plot point is just dadsona’s ugly nightmare or like. A prank or whatever. but considering everything we’ve seen thus far with joseph’s character i’m not even convinced of that. I’m trying my best to hold off judgement until we see the how the full story actually unfolds. AND HONESTLY?? I could write an equally long rant about how this is bad writing and not just bad gay rep but that’s not the main issue here. Anyway, until this game actually proves itself to be good and not…. whatever this sets it up to be, i’m not going ANYWHERE near my wallet

[yifftwiceplz]

How do you feel about Karkat?

this one took a while cuz i dont even know how to describe it

how do you feel about breathing how do you feel about the comfortable silence of a drunk cigarette at 3am how do you feel when the perfect song comes on the radio for however youre feeling in the moment how do you feel about the universe molding itself around you to love you

whenever people see me and kk interact theres this idea that we hate each other or we get on each others nerves but its not like that like none of our bitching actually means anything its just noise we make were just very vocal and we show we care by being open about our feelings and just saying whatever dumb shit comes to mind first its very comfortable

ive never had to pause to think about what to say and neither has he

we just talk and whoever listens just listens its less about the words being said and more about being comfortable enough around each other to say them and trust that the important stuff will get through and the vapid bullshit filler will flitter in one ear and out the other

theres this idea that after the honeymoon phase it gets boring and you know it does but i love it i love that some days he comes home and hes tired and im tired and we dont even really talk and thats okay i love that other days he comes home and he finds me and wordlessly seeks me out and tries to cling onto me while not interrupting whatever im doing i love that when im getting in my own head its like he has a sixth sense for it and he comes over and wraps his arms around me and hangs onto me like hes trying to keep me from floating away

being around him is the closest ive known to the concept of home

[motleyfam]

hey! so its 4am and ive just finished my, um... fifth(?) reread of world's saddest breakfast club and like! aaahhhh!!!

do u got abything to tell us abt this story? like sbt the writing proccess or things u thought that did not make it in or hc or anything really. i dont have a question exactly, just wanted to hear you talk about it. im a bit. well. obssesed.

Oooh cool question! I definitely do!

World's Saddest Breakfast Club: Fun Facts

The opening line is a result of me angsting to @batmoniker about how I couldn't figure out how to start my fic, and her jokingly being like "I got you, bro. Ready? 'It was a dark and stormy night'" and then me just being stubborn and committing to the bit.

The story started with a vague idea of "everyone in the kitchen at 3am for different reasons and Jason channeling his inner short order cook." All I knew going in was the order I wanted people to appear, what was wrong with them (sick, hurt, insomnia, etc) and what food Jason would be making for them. Everything else I made up as I went.

If I could go back and change one thing about this fic, I'd reduce how long Jason was kidnapped to like, 6-8 days, max. 16 days seemed funny when I wrote it, but in hindsight, I feel like he'd be a little more fucked up in the story if he were really escaping from that many days of captivity lmao

I headcanon Dick as the kind of person who straight-up forgets to eat when he's preoccupied, and Jason as the kind of person who cannot FATHOM this concept. Jason absolutely will miss a meal if the situation calls for it, don't get me wrong, but he's aware the entire time he's doing it and it makes him super antsy. (This once turned into A Thing™ when Jason was like, 13 years old and staying with Dick for the weekend for some brotherly bonding and Dick forgot about lunch and by 5pm, Jason maybe sorta kinda had a minor panic attack about it. Dick was a lot more mindful of that moving forward)

Bruce's favorite food being lobster thermidor is a reference to the Lego Batman movie

I wrote this whole fic with Julia Child's recipe pulled up in one tab and my google doc in the other

At some point I realized that since I started with fresh lobsters, I was going to have to write Jason killing them, and it derailed me so hard that the fic nearly became about meatloaf instead. (Never mind the fact that Jason canonically kills human beings — that's totally fine. I just draw the line at him killing lobsters 😰)

(in the end I just kinda glossed over it and made sure they were already cooked before Damian appeared so I wouldn't have to address it 😬)

Dick's reoccurring shoulder injury is a reference to the DCAU where I swear that man has dislocated his shoulder/injured his arm at least 4x

The line about Tim being allergic/throwing up when he eats eggs was inspired by a line in chap 11 of @goldkirk's fic Hymn, which I've reread about 37x

Jason is correct— grits are fucking delicious and definitely not baby food.

My favorite line is "Okay there’s self-sacrificial bullshit, and then there’s whatever the fresh hell that is."

The idea for Cass being a big meat-eater comes from a comic panel where Steph offers her a plate of rice and beans and Cass says she needs meat and starts mischievously eying Steph's hamster. Can't find the panel to save my life, but I promise it's out there.

EDIT: finally found it!

Steph's nickname of "Zombie Boy" for Jason is borrowed from @audreycritter's Cor Et Cerebrum series (which is a fucking masterpiece, btw)

This fic was gonna be called "Creatures of the Night" until batmoniker said Steph's line made for a better title

Several people have asked me whether Jason was really cooking Bruce's lobster to spite him, or if he was actually intending to make it for him all along. The answer is... both? Like Jason's kind of an unreliable narrator in that he's trying to convince himself that he's just doing what he's doing to be a little shithead when deep down it's all stemming from his need to take care of his family, you know? Like he'll never admit it, but that's where his heart is at.

To everyone who's asked for a part 2 where the family finds out Jason was kidnapped, I'm gonna be honest: the main reason I don't think I'm ever going to write that scene is because I can't come up with a good enough joke for him to make to accidentally out himself 💀

[vicerions]

rant

tl;dr: it's really sad to see that artists are reduced to machines solely used for profit by entertainment agencies. i know it's a case-to-case basis but in general, idols really suffer a lot so we should respect their decision when they don’t resign with their agency after their contract expires and move on with their lives.

so let’s start by putting you in the shoes of, say, an idol.

disclaimer: im not pointing at anyone specific. just my two-cents.

stolen childhood. no you dont get to play like other kids. at a very young age you have to choose between education and a half-baked dream. (though there are many idols who truly wanted to pursue a singing/acting/dancing/idol career, i get really sad when i read pre-debut accounts of how some idols were scouted because of their visuals and got blinded by promises of good pay).

business is business, after all.

'hey you look really good and you can sing do you want to spend a decade working for us? we'll pay you but only if you're successful, ok?' and you say 'ok' because you're just turning 14 and being famous and rich doesn't sound so bad. you think you will improve. of course, you will. you're young and determined and the company will provide training coaches.

the trainee system is all good and you make some friends until they announce a debut group then things start to get nitty-gritty at practice. training coaches have favorites. you have to look good when your seniors peak in the practice studio. your every move will be scrutinized by the management. how were you as a student? iljin rumors will do you no good. talent, where's your talent? if you think you're good at singing or dancing, there will always be someone far superior than you. you're really stressed and you know you shouldn’t engage in vices but the temptation is always there.

you've spent years training then one day someone will walk-in armed with a full arsenal of talent, looks, variety gag and star quality. they will train with you but you know they're already included in the line-up of the debut group. there are people like this but you can't afford to be angry at them. they are likeable and with oozing charisma even that you can't even deny that they are made for this. 

are you?

hard-work really isn't everything. IF and when you finally debut, netizens will get to decide if you're a rookie legend or a flop depending on your debut song, something you have no control of since it's entirely the company's decision. if your debut isn't received well and you are from a smaller agency it will be a hundred times harder to climb that ladder.

you have to appease the general public to protect your reputation as well as your company's and your group's. this means dating bans, meet-up bans, sns account bans, phone bans, all kinds of bans. delete any traces of all your previous sns accounts. say bye-bye to your friends who are out of the industry. we strongly advice you to break-up if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend because if it wasn't already hard, it will be harder from now on. talk to your parents for days because you won't be seeing them for a long time. do this, don't do that. we don't like your accent.

there are the extremist fans who expect nothing less than perfect. sasaengs lingering at your doorstep at 3am. when you search for articles with your name on it, sometimes you read more negatives than positives. and you don't understand why because you're just working your ass off and trying your best since the beginning.

there are comments that point out how you look fat on-screen. that you have bad skin. that you have an attitude problem because someone outside the dressing room caught you pulling your stylist's coat off her shoulders while looking angry when in reality she asked you to do it because her hands are busy fixing your hair and you just woke up from a nap and your resting bitch face didn't really help. that you are disrespectful because you didn't bow to a senior who passed in front of you when in reality you have bad eyesight and you honestly didn't notice. that you and xxxxxx might be dating because your bracelets look like couple bracelets when in reality you haven't said a word to each other but fans are already cursing you in your instagram posts. 

you do a v-app and people are asking you where is this member or that member instead of sending you questions. it irks you since you’re the one doing the live and maybe you just aren’t enough, but of course, you can’t get angry so you smile and politely tell them where the other members are and why they can’t do the v-app with you.

you try pumping out self-composed songs and pitching ideas for music videos but sometimes things just don’t get the cut. so you have to market yourself more, get those acting and cf and mc gigs. it doesn’t matter if it’s only a one-minute guesting appearance- you just have to get yourself out there and make connections because you can’t rely on your company to do everything.

your group got signed for variety shows and guestings and reality shows. but you realize everything's the same fabricated stuff no matter how 'real' they get cut and edited. not all seniors are good. some will take advantage of your mandatory respect for them. let's go out for a couple of drinks. you know if you get caught by the public, you are done for because most of the time seniors have the upperhand. especially male seniors. so you politely decline. it’s better to seek refuge in your group members and other same-aged idol friends and old trainee acquaintances to stay out of the radar. better safe than sorry.

there will be times when your company will strike a deal with you or maybe they don't tell you until it's out there. something for publicity. you're lucky if the public feedback is good but most of the time it's just backlash. they don't mind throwing you under the bus. your group isn't doing well and everyone knows they have to debut another one soon.

you are overworked and underpaid. your creativity and individuality are suppressed because you have to maintain the kind of image your group has and what your company wants you to project. your friends have graduated from college. you are thankful and love your fans and your members and your managers but you realize you’re not getting any younger. 

you want to finish college too and have a family and kids. maybe try a different line of work while you still can. and when you finally finally make that choice for yourself, everyone turns at you for being the ungrateful person you are.

unpopular opinion: an idol not renewing their contract, as well as group disbandment shouldn’t always be treated as something negative. as a fan, yes, it is disheartening but we should also think about the sake of our idols.

(unless, of course, they get played by their companies. now that is downright oppressive and wrong) 

being an idol is a job. it’s not fairyland where you sing and dance as you please. idols work to pay their trainee debts if they have any, their parents’ debts, as well. they work to give their families a better life, to send their siblings to school. just because you see them wearing name branded clothing it doesn’t mean it’s personally theirs. companies set aside a budget for their clothing so they would look more presentable to the public. another form of marketing.

idols are human, too. miss me with that robotic response of being an idol because they ‘want to stand on stage’ bullshit. maybe some of them are true, yes, but certainly not all of them. they are normal people with imperfections, varied interests in life and varied mental capabilities. 

they want to be happy, too. they have sacrificed a lot to entertain the public and get them to support their music. they have suffered more than than they gained to make their fans happy. to earn money. to live their dreams. to make good music. 

their lives are not yours to control. buying albums or going to their fansigns does not equate to you having the right to demand things of them. you can’t expect them to still be on stage after ten or so years singing and dancing just because you told them to.

as fans, don’t you think we should be the ones making them happy?

[toddcowardd]

uhhh bj and anya and/or finnrey

Bj/Anya (Banya? Anj? Oliwicz? idk well figure this one out) 

proposes - BJ! its very unceremonious after they all get to America and have been fighting for a while, he does it like mid fight as they are hiding from panzerhund thats sniffing around the debris. Hes got no ring or anything but hes like “i love you sm Anya Oliwa would you do me the honor of being Anya Oliwa Blazkowicz” and Anya’s like “of course! but i dont think now is the time!” then when they get back to base its like “hey guys guuuessss what!”. They get married post war after they kill all the nazis.   

shops for groceries - they both go together! 

kills the spiders - bj!

comes home drunk at 3am - neither, they are basically the designated drivers. so they come home tired after dealing with everyones drunk asses (thats not to say they dont drink they are just the ones who stay the most sober)   

remembers to feed the fish - Wyatt, its his fish so its his responsibility 

initiates duets - both! Anya will start up upbeat poppy duets while Bj will start the slow jams ones

falls asleep first - Anya, she just curls up next to him and she out like a light

plans spontaneous trips - BJ, after years of fighting Nazis and seeing all that ugly bullshit, hes ready to see the nice parts of the world

wakes the other up at 3am demanding pancakes - Anya but, shes not demanding. Shes just like nudging BJ in her sleep and murmuring “William,,, can you make pancakes” “In the morning” “no nowww” and with a sigh BJ rolls outta bead and goes and makes her some pancakes

sends the other unsolicited nudes - BJ, Anya doesnt mind tho ;) (and will send her own sometimes) 

brags about knowing karate even though they never made it past yellow belt - BJ!! Anya just sides eyes him whenever its brought up bc “William where did you even learn karate. Kicking and punching stuff randomly doesn’t count”

comes to a complete halt outside bakeries/candy shops - BJ, after years of army rations and just rations in general, he rly appreciates sweet treats

blows sarcastic kisses after doing ridiculous shit - Anya

killed the guy (also, which hid the body) - they kill together, no bodies are hidden but they are looted for more armor and ammo

wears the least clothing around the house - BJ, walking around in his boxers and a t-shirt: Anya where did i put my throwin’ knifes? 

has icky sentimental moments for no apparent reason - BJ, HAVE YOU HEARD HIS INTERNAL MONOLOGUES??

Finnrey

proposes - rey! She force floats are ring to Finn with the biggest grin on his face. He accepts without hesitation! they marry on Ahch-to

shops for groceries - Finn, when rey goes shes just randomly grabs stuff shes never seen and its like “rey we dont need theses pls”

kills the spiders - They dont kill spiders, they pick them up and set them back outside

comes home drunk at 3am - They come home drunk together! then they drunk cuddle and drunk watch bad holodramas 

remembers to feed the fish - Rey, Finn feeds the space puffins with Luke

initiates duets - they start together in perfect sync

falls asleep first - Finn! 

plans spontaneous trips - Rey, theres a lot of green in the galaxy to see

wakes the other up at 3am demanding pancakes - Finn shakes rey awake and is like “im feeling pancakes babe, do you want any?” and rey nods a lil and finn’s like “okay well you gotta help me make them bc im super sleepy” 

sends the other unsolicited nudes - neither

brags about knowing karate even though they never made it past yellow belt -  they both do and ghost Chirrut is just sorta,,, standing to the side shaking his head bc they are still learning to fight

comes to a complete halt outside bakeries/candy shops - Rey! That girl is itching to try every food she can find

blows sarcastic kisses after doing ridiculous shit - They blow those kisses together at others

killed the guy (also, which hid the body) - they kill the troopers that attack them but they leave the bodies to rot bc fuck hiding them thats way too much work and they got more important shit to do

wears the least clothing around the house - they’re both walkin around their house in their underwear, they’re so fuckin comfortable around eachother! 

has icky sentimental moments for no apparent reason - they both do and different times of the day, sometimes finn just wraps her up in a big ol hug and tells her how much he loves her and sometimes rey brings him a whole bunch of plants and flowers she grew specially for him  and peppers his face with so many kisses !

[niki8954]

so, @its-jack-the-reaper tagged me in this a long time ago and i finally wanna do it, so here goes

1. Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?

because of my lack of drive. like i have all my notes for my exams done but i still dont wanna put it all together and organize it??? why cant i be productive for once?? i have so much shit to do but im wasting my time??? why?? idk im a mess atm.

2. What were you doing at 11PM last night?

being emotional about how we’re graduating soon and crying because i realized that i am alive. real talk though, im mad surprised that i survived my shitty mental health and am alive right now. i overcame selfharm and managed to get to this point and im GLOWING. my marks are better than ever, robotics is going well, and i finally have a reliable squad. its just a great time. im proud of myself. 

3. How do you feel about 3AM?

not good. im always way too emotional. i cry at just about everything. but good because thats when the real thinking happens. im most introspective about myself at that time, therefore allowing me to improve on myself.. but also i am superstitious and believe that demons thrive between 3 and 4am so i never sleep.

4. I bet you kissed someone last night, right?

ok

5. You can drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?

lemon + water. that shits so good and so calming. also healthy. im all about it. but also maybe hot chocolate. i live for that shit.

6. Do you like hickeys?

never experienced one but they sure as hell are aesthetic as fuck

7. Is there someone who continuously lets you down?

besides myself (which is normal, set unattainable goals and see how far you push yourself to get there), not really. if someone is letting me down, i let them go. or at least distance myself. dont need that shit in my liife. 8. Do you always answer your texts?

sometimes i go a whole day without replying because im always running around, getting shit done. sometimes i reply within seconds. its really a toss up for me. 9. Last time you talked to one of your best friends?

just now over skype.  10. Are you a silent or talkative person?

talkative with friends, silent most everywhere else. i dont like the attention unless its from people i know i vibe with. also im really fucking bad with small talk. i prefer to just get my shit done and carry that mysterious vibe. but also i tend to fill the silence with just useless talk because im an anxious mess.

11. Is anyone else in the room with you?

nah. just me and my misery. 
12. Do you cry easily?

very easily, especially recently. i wont cry in public but when im alone, ill let it all out. other people dont often make me cry unless im already a mess and im on my own. its usually just my own criticism that pushes me too far. 13. What is your family like?


im gonna echo asia’s answer; let’s not. 14. What was your last text message?

a long message to mitch. too long to put here 15. Most embarrassing moment?

i tend to block out embarrassing moments but ive lost a few pretty pathetic arguments that im quite ashamed of. 16. If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?

medusa, snake, a dermal on my right cheek bone, right under my eye like tony, and a monroe. 17. Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?

how much work i have to get done after this. which i really gotta do. and robotics. robotics is always on my mind 18. Where are you going on your next vacation?

probs a cruise next christmas. or if i go somewhere for grad.

19. Where have you lived most of your life?  

close to toronto, canada. my entire life. a great place. 20. Do you curse around your parents?  

occasionally. my mom doesnt flip over “shit” and stuff like that. but i know i probably said fuck after hurting myself a few times. and i know my mom hears me curse over skype. 21. Are you happy with where you live?

geographically, yeah. emotionally, more than i used to. home-life wise, no. im ready for waterloo. 22. Words you can’t spell half the time?

occasionally, and words with unnecessary extra letters. like unnecessary. 23. What were you doing last night at 12 AM?  

same answer as #2. but also doing accounting work this time. 24. Do you cook?

i once burned my hand boiling water in a kettle. so, as you can imagine, no. but i can make mashed potatoes from a box. 25. Name four things that you wish you had?

more sleep

my work done

a metal from a robotics competition

an acceptance from waterloo

just hitting u up with things i actually want and i very well could get if i worked for them. but lets be serious.

26. Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?

not tumblr. but twitter, yeah. technically @inevitablebeary was an internet friend before irl so yeah. and mitch. 27. How is your hair?  

dried out and nasty rn. working on it tho. 28. Think back to January 2007, were you single?

i was eight. also 2007 was a great year for music 29. Are you nice to everyone?  

no. definitely not. disrespect me or cross me and your dont deserve my kindness. im not here to cater to the bullshit others offer me. if you seriously fucked with me, i wont pay any mind to you. but ill be reasonable. i dont go out of my way to be an asshole but sometimes thats the way it is. i wont attack anyone unless im attacked. 

30. How do you feel about sea aquariums?

i dont have an opinion? like i know they suck and shit but i dont have any interest in it and know nothing about it. 

im gonna tag @inevitablebeary, @misery-local, and @laurenmarielambert. yall dont have to do it but if ya waant.

hope everyone has a great day.

[clumsyclifford]

omg thank you 🙈 this one is always a tricky one 😅 i keep questioning my emoji choices. oh well 😂 i mean no one should be blamed for what they did on wattpad 😅 oooh that's amazing suing will be fun 😂 i don't even know what kind of videos he did (does? is he still active?) tbh. like i know some friends liked him and i know about the whole ship with this phil person but i never really bothered to check him out (pt 1)

(pt 2) so i wish i could help and provide a fitting lyric for our relationship with helen but bc you described her as a black hole the only thing in my head is 'everything's in order in a black hole' bc i listened to the arctic monkeys yesterday for like 2 hours 😅 honestly i can't even describe how my mind comes up with so many unrealistic scenarios. the small rational part of my brain was like 'they probably know anyway' and the bigger part was screaming 'no they will hate you' anxiety is fun.

(pt 3) you are very correct also babe is somehow so much better than baby? i don't know how or why but it is. oh i have that so often too it sucks :/ my body really likes 5 am for randomly waking up also i hope you went to bed by now and will hopefully have a good night again 😊 okay i hate that & i will ignore that and blame it on english not being my first language bc nauseated sounds so stupid 😅 -fiancee

i should be blamed for my wattpad but at least i never wrote smut and also the fic i wrote never was about romance like i was really just trying to write 13-year-old girls becoming best friends with one direction projecting my TRUE fantasies i was a prudish child have i changed at all ? no

wow thats crazy yeah hes still active i think though i dont watch his videos anymore but it was literally just a traditional youtuber vlog channel with this specific Brand tm of existentialism idk

cant think of a lyric either can i now that youve put arctic monkeys in my head smh fiancee afglkjafk it is all good tho

oh yeah no question that babe is like five million times superior to baby i think it’s because nobody wants to be called literally an infant but babe is kinda cute i don’t know dude. yes i went to bed around 3am and now im awake i woke up at noon so that’s not bad for me tbh also yes fuck the english language who made up this bullshit

[17sunday]

writing on the day of dec. 6 2019

this week has been so fucking wild I had to document it or else my sleep depravation will make me forget it by tomorrow!

sunday - dec. 1 thanksgiving weekend has come to a close and i’m FUCKED, like I have so many fucking projects to complete (mind you, these are all master’s level courses) and I’ve sort of started, but I know the biggest hurdle for all of them has yet to be completed. I have severe anxiety on things not getting done and i will literally stay up if I feel like I am not making enough progress on something...so guess what I stay up till 6 am in order to run this code on Rstudio (sleep count: 3 hours)

monday - dec. 2 I am a teaching assistant for capstone, so I can’t sleep in and go to class to help out my students, keep in mind i’m tired, but I can usually thrive off of 3 hours if its only a day and I take a nap. turns out i had a lot more to do for my project presentation on tuesday than i thought (ah it always becomes that way huh?) and I had no nap because i had to go to office hours for last minute checks, then I had to work on the code....but at 1AM when I was generating the graphs, I reached an error and its hard to explain the logistics but I had to REDO all the coding analysis again and i was on such of a crunch on time yall that I COULDNT EVEN CRY AND HAVE A BREAKDOWN WHAT THE FUCK AND I SLEPT AT FUCKING ASS O CLOCK 6 AM (sleep count: 6 hours)

tuesday - dec. 3 i have a presentation in this advanced bio class (i wont specifically name the class just in case LOL) and I think I did well but my professor asks me (and everyone in the class) to do another coding shit YET HE TELLS ONE STUDENT SHE DID A LOT AND JUST ADD TO DISCUSSION LIKE U FUCKING BITCH WE ALL WORKED HARD *victoria justice voice* HOW DARE HE BULLSHIT US LIKE THAT, HE KNOWS DAMN WELL WE ALL WORK HARD AND NOW WE HAVE EXTRA SHIT AND THIS BITCH GETS NONE IM DONE WITH THIS FAVORITISM I SWEAR TO GOD but several people liked my presentation and said i did a great job so i felt so RELIEVED after the presentation, IT WAS DONE THE CODE WAS DONE and then I had lunch with jake and thai and we had the funniest fucking conversations i love them so much

THEN I HAD A FUCKING PITCH TO MAKE FOR WEDNESDAY AND I HAD A WEDNESDAY MEETING AT 8 AM BUT I SLEPT AT 6 AM AGAIN BTICH LMAO I ended up telling my professor I couldn’t make the meeting and they were fine with it, I’m glad I have an understanding professor who won’t pressure us and is understanding when things come up

I showed up to class at maybe 10:30 AM? (sleep count: 10.5 hours)

wednesday - dec. 4 I’m walking death at this point. I stayed up to finish my pitch, i watched m*mas and that show was bullshit and a waste of time aka svt deserved daesang butttttt whatevers, I go to class and I’m working on other assignments and take a 30 minute nap before my 4:50PM class (which goes until 7:30 mind you). I show up to class and we do our presentations. I’m already in a rough state of mind, and i always compare myself to others so when my professor heavily complimented my peers and didn’t leave room for a nice compliment for me I was so devastated and it probably showed on my face i was on verge of TEARS. I’ve dealt with so much bullshit I couldn’t even face this I was literally just working off of no sleep and my constant self-deprecation made me sensitive but I talked to both jake and thai and they made me see a perspective i would have never seen before. before i left the class i reached out to my professor on what I can improve and she gave me pointers and she is good at reading people’s faces and said “its great bea...its so great!!” and i felt INFINITELY TIMES BETTER! she’s also so so kind to me. My friend a/hmad also said “bea i dont want you to depend on others to say good job, because no matter what, someone will always critique you” and that really hit me hard, for the first time i thought about how i perceive myself and how dependent i am to receive verbal affirmation from other people. I realized i no longer wanted to be tied to that. I want to have confidence from MYSELF because i know my OWN worth, not because i’m happy someone else sees me as worthy....it was a catalyst and now im learning...i feel like i always learn something big in college in terms of my self growth and I am SO happy for that... anyway my team and i worked late into the evening for a cyber project to figure out how to alter a PID controller and I almost broke down but my team and I were working hard and eventually we reached a solution (not what I thought would be the best, but Muthuswamy was on board!!!) and my team said “ok we aren’t getting anywhere lets go home” when it was 11PM and we all agreed. We, and me especially have been dying this week and the rest would do us good, my friends all pleaded for me to sleep early and I promised them i would :(( i love how worried they are, their kindness touches me!!! ALSO JAKE GAVE US RIDES BACK TO OUR PLACES AND FUCKING PUT ON TOKYO DRIFT AND DRIFTED LOLOLOLOLOOLOLOL

slept at 2 AM (sleep count - 18 hours)

thursday - dec. 5 FINALLY I GOT 7 HOURS OF SLEEP! I TRUSTED MY TEAM AND LET US ALL REST TO WORK HARD TOMORROW. I showed up to class where I realized the bullshit where the favorite student got to do nothing and we do everything LOL but i was whatevers about it. afterwards I booked it to the tutoring center to finish up the presentation. Jake clutched and got all the graphs looking PRETTY I LOVED IT! HE IS A TRUE BRO! we went to class a little later but muthuswamy went through presentations and was impressed and jsut wanted to make sure we make robust testing in the report which made me SO HAPPY! he seemed to recognize us and our efforts too!!! IM SO GLAD HE LIKED IT

we then had to work on homework and i swear we had the funniest fucking conversations like a/hmad’s team texts him please in front of each text and so he started texting please in the first part too LMAOOO IM SO DEAD, then like both a/hmad and s/teven worked on the homework cause j/ke and i did the project LOLLLLL and jake and i would fucking LAUGH at everything cause what is this BULLSHIT we’re learning HAHAHAHAHAH

THEN JAKE SANG HALO IN THE HALLWAY WHEN IT WAS ECHOY AND WHEN HE WALKED IN HE GOT STANDING OVATION FROM CURRENT SENIORS LMAOO

we turn in the homework by 8 and thai and i leave by 9:30 to get ihop. we were angry at service but the server who just clocked in was so NICE AHHHHHHH, we had our regular sleepover and i practiced for pitch FOR THIS STARTUP COMPETITION slept at 3am (sleep count: 25 hours)

friday (today) - dec. 6  SO NO ONE REPLIED WHAT TIME I HAD TO HELP OUT AS FACILITATOR SO I JUST SHOWED UP AT 12PM AT THE PRESENTING AREA. I enjoyed talking to my students and got some action shots taken of me hehe. then i went to the presentation and KILLED IT AND MY TEAM WON 10K OMG, i will elaborate later, still processing churro n taco LOL