#im just like. Bashing my head into the wall rn
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literally shaking and trembling with the need to resist going into the malevolent tag
#AUGH#listened to uhm. part 24 this morning on my drive to work#im so. head in my hands#idk if its bc this is my first podcast or because im mostly consuming it while driving and talking to myself behind the wheel#but by the time i come on here i have no intelligent thoughts all i can say is like. Im rolling on the ground throwing up rn#anyway like IS THIS LEGIT JOHN? LIKE FOR REAL?#JOHN MY BESTIEEEEEEE#im glad hes back but now its like fuck it sounded like yellow was getting. Contemplative in the previous episode#SO LIKE i guess my question is answered that yellow and john ARE separate pieces#so was. yellow returned to the king?#does the king now have a piece of him who just has this little seed of doubt planted inside?#cuz yellow sounded like he was ever so slowly coming around. maybe. Perhaps#brot posts#mal posting#im just like. Bashing my head into the wall rn#head spinning with parallels and perpendiculars and complexity and nuance all that
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I HATE PHYSICS SO MUCH I HATE ELECTRICITY SO SO SO MUCH WHY IS EVERYTHING INTERCONNECTED
the way this gif moves makes me uncomfortable
#potential difference is my downfall istg#just memorise the equations 😀😀#chemistry girl for life omg#lalalalalalalalalala#I actually want to bash my head into a wall#omg im gonna lock in after this half term trust me#the topic electricity is like one of those russian dolls where it gets smaller everytime you open it and it never ends#COS WHY ARE THERE SO MANY THINGS ISTG#electric charges is electrons which is coulombs basically#FLOW of electric charge is current#resistance is its own dog#resistance x current is potential difference#potential difference i have no idea what it is but its like the something between 2 points yum and something to do with energy#charge divided by energy or the other way round is potential difference#omg sorry for revising on tumblr im so ill rn#am i really stupid#as long as i remember the equations i can eat up the test i just need to know the units of measurement#omg can i just be a housewife instead#i actually need someone to mansplain this to me very slowly cos i be replaying videos of ppl explaining it and why does it just not#going to bed now gonna take the FATTEST sleep ever
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i’m probably going to call out tomorrow
#i’m not sure though bc i have monday off#idk man i guess im just going through it rn#literally i feel like bashing my head into a wall
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tag vent don't mind me lol
#i hatteeeeeeeeee my brain sm i hate it i hate it like#i was having an okay day like okay to my standards then i go out for a little w my irl#and my guilt and anxiety just creeps up my anxiety is so so so bad rn like it's not even bc of her#it's just a constant feel of guilt bc of my situation i feel awful and it's just so bad right now#like granted i'll be okay in the morning i want to sleep but my insomnia has also been super bad lately and i've run out of melatonin im so#uugggsiwjshxooshszoxbsowjwjwooxhxosospqpq snxoxksjaisnssjwosnsn#bashing my head against the wall rn i hate anxiety#also very very fun news ive come to the realization i def have ocd so that's also veryyyy very fun#im gonna be ok !!! im gonna be ok it's ok im ok this is fine#let me look at elvis and cope for a few hours and i will be fine
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okay. i am going to continue being stupid. and lowkey embarrassing. and a big stupid fucking idiot. i don’t know what’s wrong w me just ignore me forever okay? okay <3
#why why why why why why why why#i don’t even know what to say anymore my brain is going one thousand miles per hour and it’s all STUPID !!!!#why am i lowkey 24 years old a grown ass adult with literally the stupidest circumstantial crush rn#i don’t even wanna admit that’s what it is cause like. girl. why am i the worlds biggest idiot#i want to bash my head into a wall i don’t even know his name! i never spoke to the man! i know nothing! about him!!#im usually rlly good about not letting myself get all worked up over ppl i find attractive#but for some reason this feels out of my control. i’m trying to just like. get over it. but my brain just won’t stop being so FUCKING#stupid and it’s SO embarrassing!!#what i’m about to say is especially embarrassing to admit but like. idk what to do idk why this happening#i keep catching myself like. daydreaming abt what it would be like 2 hold his hand or give him a hug#i just wanna wrap my arms around his neck and feel his hands on my waist and i dont!! know where this is coming from!!!!!!!!#i wish i could spray my brain with a water bottle every time this happens because frankly this is just getting ridiculous#we are not gonna marry the man! we never spoke to him! we’re never going to see him again for the rest of our lives okay!!#get it together dumbass. so we saw a beautiful boy at a wedding reception and became enamored with his mannerisms so what who cares#it doesn’t matter u know! so what if it was attractive how he sat with his leg propped up while he looked at his camera#or how u caught him buttoning and unbuttoning his little jacket over and over. or the way he leaned against the wall to watch the crowd#or his stupid dumb cute lil smile or how the few times you accidentally made eye contact w him ur heart went all pap pap and shit#it was just a fleeting moment! who gives a shit!! get over it!!#god. it’s especially embarrassing cause i’m here obsessed w the man still desperately wishing i could talk to him and idk learn everything#about him. and i know damn well to him i was just some creepy girl who wouldn’t stop staring at him. he probably thinks im like. plotting#his death or something. i’m not. but i should probably plot my own if i don’t get over this soon#idk idk idk i literally don’t know why this is happening!#we’ve seen hot ppl before why is this different! god!!!!!!!#i haven’t felt this way abt someone in such a long time#and it’s just frustrating knowing just how stupid i am sitting here like this#cause i know he doesn’t care. he doesn’t know me. and that’s fine! idk why my brain is doing this!#whats wrong w me genuinely. i can’t control what’s happening is so fucking weird#i truly feel like im going insane i can’t make sense of why this is happening to me#stupid stupid stupid stupid SO embarrassing idk idk#snow.txt
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istg if josh marries nora im gonna be so pissed lol im so sick of her, whyd they kill off the person that actually seemed better for him
#like she was fine in the 1st season but i stopped caring about her in the 2nd season and now shes just. annoying#like she keeps choosing literally anyone except for josh when it comes to other people in their werewolf lives#and now she thinks aiden would just unprompted send a child to the hospital by bashing her head into the wall? like huh?#whats the logic nora. why do you think he would do that.#ive been trying to not really talk about this show or look it up on tumblr mostly because like what if theres posts about it#and the posts include spoilers or something yknow#but OH MY GOSH IM SO SICK OF HER JOSH DO NOT PROPOSE TO HERRR#he literally deserves someone better idc. whyd they kill his ex.#did her actress just need to be somewhere else like... she didnt suck. and he was finally telling her his secret and everything.#my post#liveblogging#being human#im in the middle of s3 btw rn so like. idk what happens next#what reason like actually does she have to believe that aiden would do that??#its one thing to think he would suck someones blood that he shouldnt. like thats fair.#but *that*?? fuck off?#i hate when parents/guardians cant accept that their kid can do fucked up things and be awful. theyre still human(well...) idiot#this is making me maaaddd i was finally coming back around to her and then she does all this
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#rambles from my nonexistent basement#sprinkles of thought#vent#kinda considering bashing my head into a wall rn#<- im not gonna i just. gods#you ever get fucking laughed at over being disabled and then screamed at for geftinf overwhelmed#i fucking hage ghe way i live in my own household and i need to move schools or else i genuinely dknt think I'm gonna survive#i hate this j just wanna scream#k can't live here anymore#not like this
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haiii plz ignore this if your requests are closed 🙇🏻♀️ but I'm begging you to give us george who's totally in love with someone from the camera crew and the drivers start making fun of him for it but it's all fluff ♥️
summary; mercedes have a strict policy regarding office romance, but that can't stop Totally Spies because they can't read
pairing; george russell x fem! camera operator! reader [ no faceclaim ]
a/n; im so sorry if this isn't as funny as usual im rusted and dusted from exam season anyway HERE WE GOOO HERE WE GOOO ON A MISSION UNDERCOVER AND WE'RE IN CONTROL HERE WE GOO HERE WE GOOO WE'RE TOTALLY SPIES SO WE'LL GET ON WITH THE SHOW
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alex_albon He's going to look back at this post and curse my entire bloodline isn't he
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georgerussell63 Alright then, what's all this about
alex_albon It'll all be revealed in time... georgerussell63 Your old wizard impression is serving
scuderiayummy the f1 gc must be booming rn bc what does this even mean, alexander.
charlielecunt If I see "breaking news: george russell found dead in a ditch" in 30 mins I'm gonna lose it
pierreleftsock "time to take george to football, live up the bugatti weeee"
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georgerussell63 I won in the name of the people
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miss.sainz55 this is better than 95% of the enemies to lovers books i've read
typicallyleclerc what happened to the original plot of the movie
applenorizz bitches be like "can't stand her fake ass" 10 minutes later "me and the bestie"
landonorris i feel the urge to bash your head in a wall
georgerussell63 Digital footprint
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ynusername on a mission undercover and we're in control
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36rg Alexa, play "They Don't Know About Us" by One Direction
ynusername THEY DON'T KNOW HOW SPECIAL YOU AREEEE
britney_alex_clover Now all you have to do is avoid being spotted together by the public eye, your boss, all of your friends, your family and also the entire human population
britney_alex_clover also please stop flirting on promo vid sets that shit is cringe as fuck britney_alex_clover I find it adorable britney_alex_clover no one cares what u think charles britney_alex_clover Wow. britney_alex_clover Guys britney_alex_clover Sorry britney_alex_clover Hello 👋 britney_alex_clover alright who let maximilian in 36rg Who let any of you menaces in britney_alex_clover careful loverboy, i've got HR on the phone 36rg And I know what you did with the trophy after Vegas britney_alex_clover OKAYYYY LET'S ALL JUST CALM DOWN britney_alex_clover what the fuck 36rg Eyes and ears everywhere, Norris britney_alex_clover Wait, is that why I still can't get it to light up? Did you break another one??? britney_alex_clover can someone ban max off this account thank you
britney_alex_clover and while you're at it can you tell the trophy company to start making trophies that look less edible
pic credits: instagram and pinterest
blog taglist: @coffeehurricanes @iifloweringnightsii @jsjcue @lanando4 @fastcarsandshit @christianpulisic10 @allygatcr @marshmummy @ravisinghs-wife (happy race week everyoneee im so glad to be back)
#george russell#george russell x reader#george russell x you#f1 social media au#f1 instagram au#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1#f1 fic
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hmm. I think I am maybe not coping very well 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
#sorry for angry venting im very upset + frustrated + have to put it somewhere just ignore me#I hate being on such a hair trigger all the time hate feeling everything so violently why can't I just feel shit like a normal person!!!!#most stupid and pointless thing to say ever but its so not fair!!!!!!!! its so fucking unfair#like I would never want anyone else to feel like this ever but why should I!!!!! fucks sake fucking hell i want to bash my head thru a wall#whatever. whatever!!!!!!#I wish I had someone safe to talk to I wish I could trust ppl and be open with them and not have to control every tiny fucking thing#just to make myself small enough and tolerable enough for anyone to be around I wish I was enough!!!!!!#but its fucking stupid to even wish bc I have to do all the work myself and its never enough and eventually ill die abt it. whatever.#backup coping mechanisms arent even accessible rn how the fuck am I supposed to vent these feelings safely. ugh#its fine ill be fine i need to take a fucking shower and eat#.vent
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idk how to reconcile my new self with my old self. also i fucking hate waiting. GRAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#delete later#im getting a taste of my own medicine bc when im overwhelmed depressed etc i don’t even open emails or dms or whatever and then ifeel guilty#and let them build up and run away from them and literally do not reply for years. but ive been waiting for like 5 different but related#replies for 3ish days at this point and im soooooo impatient omg i want to bash my head into the wall.. and afaik no one i messaged has#opened the message despite being active online elsewhere which is EXACTLY what i do so i have no right to complain at all. but still. omggg#i just have a simple question (me and the ps5 voice) reply to my message boy#purrs#also.. ok yeah im gonna be honest about it even if there are consequences lol. idk why im on such a mission to get back all my old#characters but if i don’t i can and will go crazy. i don’t even do that kind of thing anymore and d*viantart is an irreversibly warped#landscape due in part to capitalism and in part to own mistakes and selfish actions. and i truly feel like my tumblr mutuals are the only#ones who understand me and feel safe and cozy on here. but i miss my old internet home. and i really miss my old internet friends and seeing#all the jokes we had and how we were all like interconnected w the same adopt groups and stuff and now we don’t even talk… it makes me so#sad and i feel weird messaging them just for the purpose of asking if they can give me back characters i gave them 4 years ago like a) you j#just don’t do that kind of thing i don’t think but b) it feels so transactional and would make the part of saying hey our friendship was#important to me when i was a teenager and even though we don’t talk anymore i think of you fondly and wish you well. like lollllll. and i#feel cringe even tracking them down / messaging them bc we are all jn our 20s now… embarrassing. but i am so mad at myself for letting those#friendships wither (not that i have the spoons to sustain them these days anyway but still) and for not keeping bettr track of my characters#when i sold them and for giving them up in the first place and for letting my old internet life just fall apart due to neglect bc it puts me#in a bind to try to piece it together again no matter how i try it and i shouldn’t try anyway. but i am so tempted to rn. lol#* itd make saying stuff abt appreciating friendship weird bc there’s a transaction tied in (source: i did this and feel weird and bad)#like the way i want to SCREAM seeing that dA ate all of the journals i made when i was a 14 year old and turned them into glitched polls. th#the way the wayback machine has terrible unreliable records of everything and i can never get some stuff back / track some stuff down. pain#anyways it’s stupid bc i feel cozy and listened to and as connected as i have the energy to be to all of u guys so why am i doing this. but#i miss the dA stuff too and i wish it wasn’t cringe and i wish i could have everything that’s ever been part of me all in one place. lol#also this doesn’t even take into account my poetry community on dA on my other account who i also felt so safe and cozy with and i abandoned#that too and lost touch with basically everyone even though we all knew each others deepest secrets for years.. the heartsickness of it all#anyways mutuals who knew me on deviantart i am clutching both your hands with impassioned urgency and kissing u on the cheeks. that’s all
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you can hear it in the silence !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which he knows how lucky he is.
or
for when you know your stars were on your side when you met them. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
social media au // charles leclerc x fem!reader
warnings - language
author's note - so sorry for not posting yesterday, i was catching up on my hw so !!! anyways, i will try to clear out my inbox by sunday, i have like 10 more requests which i still have to post. you can send me more but please be patient because first i would be clearing out the initial ones!! i love you, thank you so much for reading. hope you like it!!
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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yourusername 🤍
19,628 comments
username MOTHER
username SHE SERVES EVERY SINGLE TIME
username the reason im bi
username OH MY GOD IM MALFUNCTIONING WHATCTHE FUCJ
lewishamilton roscoe misses you ‼️
-> yourusername can't wait to see u all next week 🫶🏼
username women.
username SHE'S SO GIRLFRIEND OH MY GOD
*liked by charles_leclerc*
selenagomez in love
*liked by yourusername*
dualipa the prettiest ever 💞
-> yourusername i love you 💕
username can charles fight?
username im ready to throw hands with charles for HER
charles_leclerc wow im
charles_leclerc hahahahaha are u single ?
charles_leclerc just one chance pls
-> username someone take away this man's phone
charles_leclerc literally on my knees
-> landonorris DUDE
-> yourusername CHARLES OH MY GOD
-> charles_leclerc 🤷
charles_leclerc i love you 💌
-> yourusername i love you more 💗
username sigh can't believe my wife got wifed up by a guy that drives a red car in circles
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, georgerussell63 and 799,315 others
charles_leclerc she is the best thing that has ever been mine
tagged yourusername
6,628 comments
username SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
username GOODNIGHT.
username NOT HIM QUOTING TAYLOR SWIFT OMG
landonorris please refrain from being in love in front of us singles ❤️
-> charles_leclerc no ❤️
-> username lando spoke for the people and i appreciate that
username god i see what u have done for the others
username microwaving a spoon rn enough is ENOUGH.
danielricciardo disgusting ❤️
-> charles_leclerc stfu ❤️
username i too deserve someone who will post me to taylor swift lyrics :///
yourusername thanking my constellations everyday, i love you ❤️
-> charles_leclerc i love you so much ❤️
username still in disbelief that this mf bagged THE y/n y/l/n like.
username y/n it's ok u can come home now the kids and the cats miss u
username god me when.
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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yourusername you can hear it in the silence
tagged charles_leclerc
18,927 comments
username SHUT UP THEY'RE SO
username oh my god
niallhoran the best people i know 🤍
-> yourusername we love you niall 🤍
username i love them sm omg
username they're so ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️
username i want this kinda love rn
carmenmmundt lots of love 💗
*liked by yourusername*
username PARENTS
username alr y'all. having a toaster bath rn.
maxverstappen1 photo credit ?
-> yourusername photo creds to this dude who cursed us for 20mins when we forgot him at the restaurant
-> maxverstappen1 IT WAS SCARY OKAY????
username screaming crying throwing up sliding down the wall bashing my head ripping my hair yelling kicking
-> yourusername u good hun?
-> username ahahahahahahha!!n3++₹(@)#+₹+udusjskjddjkad..zzuzjsjxjj,idejskkakajsjdjsj goodhey.
taylorswift 🤍
*liked by yourusername*
username they're so "you are in love by taylor swift" coded likee
-> username no bc that's literally THEIR song
charles_leclerc i am in love
-> yourusername i am in love with u
charles_leclerc ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
-> yourusername ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
username the way charles always blushing and giggling when he's with y/n like bro's down BAD
-> username if y/n was my gf i would be too
-> username real like who can blame him
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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charles_leclerc my forever ❤️
tagged yourusername
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username "my forever" CAN U HEAR ME CRYING
username no bc the bar is literally so fucking high
username my future partners can blame them for my high expectations.
danielricciardo we know mate, u send is a 15min voice message
-> charles_leclerc and i'm about to do it again
-> danielricciardo NO
username he's so in love like it makes me cry up
username no one loves y/n y/n more than charles leclerc
pierregasly a thank you would be nice after i chased you both down the street to click these
-> charles_leclerc we didn't ask you to, you literally ran after us yelling
-> pierregasly no one's asking for details. no one.
username their relationship is a want like.
username im so normal abt them hahahahaha!!! sO nOmaL hahahahahah!!!
username i guess he's good enough for my wife
lewishamilton 🤍
*liked by charles_leclerc*
username imagine getting to call y/n y/l/n your forever like
-> username u wish it was u huh?
-> username yes i do.
yourusername forever sounds so good with you ❤️
-> charles_leclerc i love you ❤️
username my last straw 🧃
#f1 x female reader#f1 x reader#social media au#fake instagram imagines#f1 imagines#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x y/n#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc instagram au#charles leclerc blurb
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what would hobie do in a situation where reader, who’s a new spider person (like pavitr, like they got bitten by the spider few months ago or smth) had just went through their canon event?? whether it be what he would do after the event or during is completely up to you, im just curious and i have hobie brainrot rn LMAOAOAO
ofc if u don’t wanna do this request thats completely fine, have a good rest of ur day/night!!
hobie x gn!reader
warnings: death, family member dying, very (very) brief description of a dead body, but nothing graphic at all. hobie just wants u to be safe n happy :( he’s been through that grief and his heart hurts knowing you’re abt to go through it too :(
you couldn’t move.
your watch emitted a blaring, shrill alarm, miguel desperately trying to make contact, but you were frozen. bones aching, numb, all you could do was stare at the scene in front of you with watery eyes.
“i-,” your body betrayed you, catching your words as they try to escape, clawing at the walls of your throat as they get dragged back down into the growing pit in your stomach. falling to your knees, numb to the feeling of rubble against your bones, you picked up a slab of concrete and threw it to the side.
“uncle ben.”
it was all you could muster, voice small and hoarse, and if a mouse had squeaked at the same time, you would’ve lost in comparison. shaking hands rising to touch his face, a strangled choke broke out at the cold, lifeless skin that met your trembling fingertips. he looked strangely peaceful, sending a bolt of pain directly to your heart.
“no-no, please, uncle ben,” your thoughts unravelled, grabbing at his shirt, as if you could shake the life back into his bones, “please, i can’t do this– i can’t do this without you.”
you’d only been a “spider person” for 4 months. only 4 months of navigating the most isolating, terrifying journey with no one but your dear uncle by your side. he’d grown with you, seeing you muster from dangling off climbing frames in playgrounds as a child, to scaling buildings and saving lives. not a day went past when he wasn’t there with you, holding your hand through the unfathomable changes.
it all happened so quickly. one moment, you’re fighting an anomaly, bashing around the streets of your earth, leading the monster further away from the crowds – until it threw itself, headfirst into a neighbouring building, office blocks, you think to yourself, nothing too serious. that is, until you trap it, ready to send it back to miguel with ease, and lay eyes on the scene it left behind. people crushed under concrete, glass shattered the streets, and a familiar face unconscious on the pavement.
“y/n,” a voice sounds from behind you, but your soul is too busy trying to claw it’s way out of your chest to notice, or care. you laid on his unmoving torso, heart ripping at the vacancy of its usual heaving.
“y/n,” it sounded again, and a twang of familiarity shone its way through the darkness.
“he’s–” you sobbed, reluctantly lifting your head, “i couldn’t save him, i– it’s all my fault, hobie.”
“shh, come ‘ere,” you barely felt his arms wrapping around you, your body was numb. it’s like you were a ghost, haunting your own skin – a poltergeist in the wind.
regardless, you fell into him, gripping his leather vest until your knuckles were white. sobbing into his chest, his ringed hand came up to calm you, running it softly over the curves of your spine, voice low as he whispers into you, “it ain’t your fault, love.”
“you two, you need to get back—” miguel’s voice came booming from a growing portal, spider-people spilling into your dimension, ready to bring the anomaly home, until hobie cut him off sternly.
“fuck off, miguel,” he spat, pulling his arms tighter around you, feeling as though if he held you close enough, he could shelter you from the grief. maybe, if he kept you in his arms, he could carry the burden of your loss on his own studded shoulders. but, he knew he couldn’t, he’d been there before – they all had. all he could do was be there for you, a hand to hold and shoulder to cry on.
and so that’s exactly what he did.
“love, gonna come stay with me for a bit, yeah?” he whispered into your hair, and you nodded weakly, his heart surged, “just ‘til you feel a’ight.”
he placed a kiss – gentle, safe – to your forehead.
“i’ll look after you, darlin’.”
#hobie brown#hobie brown fanfiction#hobie brown imagine#hobie brown drabble#hobie brown fluff#hobie brown angst#hobie brown x reader#hobie brown x you#hobie my beloved#atsv hobie#hobie headcanons#hobie#astv hobie#hobie x y/n#hobie x you#hobie spiderverse#hobie x reader#across the spiderverse#spiderpunk#spiderman x reader#spider punk#spider punk x you#spider punk x reader#love-bitesx#— mine
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in reading and thinking about crescent city again i love it so much and then im like hm why don’t i interact with the fandom about it?
and then i look it up, and i want to bash my head against the wall.
because people who have the rosiest tinted glasses on about nesta and just hate cassian for existing cannot FATHOM why rhys gets mad at her when bryce comes to their world.
nesta gives away a priceless and DANGEROUS artifact and weapon to a random stranger who just shows up. and yes nesta is the one who can use the mask, it doesn’t belong to her. it’s not hers to give. so the ruler of her court and the technical owner of that artifact has every goddamn right to yell at her for just giving it away to a stranger.
“but cassian doesn’t stand up for her boo hoo” because he knows she’s in the wrong and like it or not, rhys is his ruler and has power that can silence him in a single look. nesta loves cassian because he doesn’t coddle her, and because they can call each other out on their shit. same as rhys and feyre. when you love and respect a partner, you can still let them be wrong, especially when it puts an entire world in danger.
yall are quick to say cassian is terrible because he lets others yell at nesta but would be furious if he stepped in all the time and didn’t let her handle things. and how convenient that yall forget all the times she yells at him and doesn’t defend him. but that doesn’t matter because nesta can do whatever she wants because she’s a “boss”. be so fr with me rn.
#acotar#feysand#pro feyre#pro rhys#pro house of flame and shadow#hate on me all you want i liked it#crescent city#pro cassian
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i love my job rn i love managing my uni's student orgs but some of the people make me want to bash my head into a wall
like I gave a presentation last week on how to get funding. the steps to get funding are listed out on the school website step for step.
and I have gotten THREE EMAILS THIS MORNING ASKING HOW TO GET FUNDING. and someone copied me in their email thread with whatever entitiy they are trying to get funding from so I GOT SPAMMED AND IM LIKE. HELP. I DONT NEED TO SEE ALL THIS HELP
just. send me a simple funding req w the quote attached...then ill approve/deny as needed...bro....chill
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hello gay autism website, advice for meltdowns and burnout?
preventing meltdowns and dealing w them if they occur, recovering from burnout after a lifetime of masking and smaller burnouts until i pushed it for too long and this time i feel broken but also learned more about myself ?
i havent intentionally self harmed in 2 years, and quit nicotine like 2 months ago so those are some long term core coping strategies i lost maybe also making stuff harder, but it was good to quit those ofc
it just gets scary bc during a meltdown it feels like i Need to Scream and/or Run and/or make myself feel pain/hit myself or hit something else (but i stopped doing that bc once as a teen i broke my wall and it was embarrassing and bad, and a few weaks ago i fucked up my hand punching a tree full force) (it always ends up being Harder and More Damage than i thought at the time, mayb adrenaline, but adds to scary) but the worst is that during the worst ones I feel a very strong urge to hit my head against shit as hard as i can, and i try to redirect to Anything Else bc that feels Dangerous so i used to punch my legs a lot and give myself hematoma bad bruising, more recent ones ive screamed into stuff to muffle, scratch my skin (another past coping mechanism of sh F), and bite myself so hard i feel my teeth about to connect and tear a chunk of meat out of me so i get scared and stop
it also is really hard or impossible to communicate and really hard to think so its more stressful if i am causing distress to others and want to calm down when i cannot calm down
it feels involuntary, like if i dont scream ill hurt myself and if i dont bash my head in i have to punch my legs or bite myself
at a certain point, i probably just have to let myself have the meltdown and know i will be okay after, but it scares people also if i cannot communicate that to them and am in lot of visible distress
advice ? any pls
im struggling a lot and have been this entire year
probably started burnout around october and thought it was a depressive episode (maybe a lot of my past depressive episodes were burnout and being too depressed to do shit let me rest, but this time i couldnt afford to be depressed bc i need to work to live and afford shit and etc etc even tho still not doing shit i need to like acquiring insurance and doctors, it feels impossible i am just trying to survive each day. how the fuck do you get doctors and appointments if u are too mentally unwell to do that. i cannot afford to be hospitalized either i need to keep working and have money to live)
any advice ? sorry for essay, ty if you read, shit is so hard rn
#autism#autistic adult#autism advice#self harm#meltdown#burnout#autistic burnout#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#sensory overload#mental health#ask to tag idk sorry for oversharing i have therapy on monday but idk if there will be good advice when i was googling shit all the advice#is aimed at parents of autistic kids#i am an autistic adult who has masked my entire life and reach my Fucking Limit#so i have no idea how to exist and cope!!!#but have more hope than i did before in mental health bc i thought i was always doomed to hate myself and be depressed and want to die#now there is hope to learn about myself and get better at stuff but it is hard and still feels p impossible
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So, do you know of the arg connected to Inscryption? >;3
Also have you attempted "Kaycees Mod" (not actually a mod but a game mode where you are actually properly playing against Leshy rather than trying to escape the cabin)? The final boss is a bit... different than in the main game.
I wish I could have seen your reaction to when you cleared the games first act. If people are not spoiled to that its one heck of a reveal!
Also, also, you are now victim to my Inscytption ramblings: Leshy's probably my fave of the 4 DMs. Once again an AI Guy who is so happy to just Play With Humans, but not quite understanding them. I love that he's so into setting a dramatic atmosphere and getting deep into the roleplay XD
The Lonely Wizard is my cute little void child and i love them.
Magnificus acts awful and his theme is too good for him so I'm giving it to the wizardly void child now.
I HAVE. IM SO PROUD OF MY BOY. HE DID IT! HE SUCCEEDED HE WON HES NOT DEAD FUCK YOU LESHY-
yes i have been playing kaycee's mod,, my next challeng.... hard. im working on challenge level 5 rn. bashing my head against the wall. leshy's so silly in this one though. if i think about the lore too hard i think i might get really sad
i dont have my reaction. to the end of the first act. besides me laughing hysterically at one shotting the moon with my beloved touch of death grizzly. and laughing so hard that every single organ in my abdomen hurt and i thought i fucking killed myself somehow. leshy came through the screen to murder me for blowing up the moon.
i think everything from then on lore-wise was just me repeatedly going WOAHGh. woah. WOAH HOLY SHIT. luke she has a GUN waht are you DOING-
also i went through so many feelings about leshy. he is a beloved old man now but i went through being afraid of him, to disliking him, to thinking he was gonna be the Big Bad Antagonist Forever, to being neutral on him, to starting to like him, to hating his guts (how dare you try to kill my boy..), to sobbing violently during the finale. so uh. yeagh. i had a ride...
i hated p03 for the longest time. because he was so mean to me in act 1. which was NOT nice when i was TERRIFIED of this SHADOWY SUSPICIOUS MAN TRAPPING ME IN A DEATH CABIN IN AN INFINITE CYCLE who is RIGGING THIS CARD GAME. but of course i saw him. in act 2. and then in act 3. and yeagh. listen im a robot kisser above all.
I LIKE MAGNIFICUS,, the poor unfinished lad. i wonder how much of anything was even his choice. does he even know who he is? who he's supposed to be? who he WANTS to be? he didn't ask for this,, he didn't ask to be left unfinished. his words cut off, left unsaid. bound to a script that drops off as suddenly as it starts.
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