#im just feeding myself with this crossover

[laxxarian]

Danny meets Jason and wants to help him of his pit rage but in order to do that, Danny needed to go through the infinite realms to find someone to be able to safely replace the pit rage into something more calming than the Lazarus Pits and that's where Danny and Jason comes in to go to the Ghost Zone and had Frostbite to be the guide to get to the realm of stars.

Where every "kids" has multiple "souls" inside them and can give it to another as they wish to.

It helps when these "kids" can just die whenever they want and get reincarnated to get stronger. It's like an every week ritual.

Jason and Danny are just baffled that beings like them existed.

[kcrossvine-art]

Hi fellow adventurers!! A few weeks ago i caught wind of "Delicious in Dungeon". I'm not really an anime person, but I am a TTRPG, CRPG, and cooking person- . And holy shit. It is so good i  convinced my partner to binge read the whole thing. I'm caught up on dungeon meshi, the anime, and just yesterday i also finished dungeon meshi, the manga.

Its rare to come across a serialized story that is so thematically cohesive and knows its characters so well. All of the bonus content like the artbooks and monster tidbits are just the icing on top.

So, inspired by Ryōko Kui's writing and illustration I'm going to attempt to create a recipe for every single Delicious in Dungeon recipe!-

Today that means Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom hotpot is on the menu!

(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to a Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom hotpot?” YOU MIGHT ASKThis is one of the pricier dishes until we get to the kelpies and dragons of the menu-

Rock lobster tail

Porcini mushrooms

Shiitake mushrooms

Snow fungus

Small potatos

Fensi (glass noodles)

Water

OPTIONAL: your choice of dipping sauces

There was a crossover/promotional event in Shibuya which featured various realworld dishes from the series. They had one for Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom, but they used prawns.  while those cook better in a hotpot, they also didn't look enough like the scorpion for me, they also used udon noodles for the slime and a seaweed/kale(?) mixture for the algae. If you're looking for substitutes due to price or availability i would start with those ingredients.

AND, “what does a Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom hotpot taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASKI hope Senshi would forgive me for technically cooking the lobster outside the pot, once he tastes it.

Okay im always partial to veggies but wowowowowowowoowowowow the snow fungus and the mushrooms tasted soooooooooooo good in the lobster stock

A nice delicate layering of different flavors

Try to get a bite with the lobster meat and shiitake together, dip in butter then chili- trust me

Its up to you what texture you prefer if you want to put the noodles in at the end or put them in halfway through the meal. Either way dont go for eating those first as theyre very filling

I think this would pair well with a citrus drink, something light and clarifying

This would also pair well with being extremely high and hungry (if you feel safe cooking while inebriated lol) very calorically dense

For the trial run I did one lobster tail in the pot with everything else, and one lobster tail off to the side to be picked apart. The former is more in spirit with a hotpot, but it got rubbery as the meal went on and lost its nice taste. The latter may be a bit more work but all you have to do still is boil it and set it aside. I found it held up much better. It was also easier to get inside the shell.

. If you have hardshell maine lobster available, i think it would be superior to rock lobster (keep in mind crustaceans will get rubbery if cooked too long in the pot) . Green onions and/or lotus root would make excellent additions

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From getting the ingredients out to sitting down and eating, id say it took maybe 30 minutes max? It'd vary on how fast you can prep vegetables and get the various implements heated.

Hotpots are not something i do very often as i'm usually just feeding myself. I think thats why a hotpot makes perfect sense to start the series off. If you want to set the tone of "take care of yourself, eat food with others, and use what you have" (generally speaking) there is nothing more simplistic, flexible, and defeats-the-purpose-if-you-eat-it-alone than a hotpot. Gather around and let your friends bring ingredients to the pot if you want to fill your heart up extra full <3

I'm doing something different here because unlike previous recipes where i used a bunch of different sources and made my own recipe out of hodge-podging it, or just used another persons recipe entirely if they did it really well, i made this more whole-cloth based off of what i had available, what I could discover through research, and my existing knowledge. Instead of the recipe being 50/50 original, this one is more 20/80. So. I'll pass the final verdict off to you guys :D 

What would you rate this recipe out of 10? (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) Did you love it, did you hate it? What're your thoughts on what I could do different, and what would you have done instead?

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Ingredients:

2 Rock lobster tails

3 Porcini mushrooms

2 Shiitake mushrooms

Snow fungus (a good handful, should rehydrate in the hotpot)

2 Small waxy potatos

Fensi (glass noodles)

Water/lobster stock

Method:

Lightly rinse all of your vegetables beforehand and let them dry.

Vertically slice the porcini mushrooms. Cut off and dice the stems of the shiitake mushrooms. You can slice the tops if youd like.

Peel and cube the potatoes, roughly an inch each.

For the lobster tails; Boil a pot of salted water. Keep the shell on. Weigh the largest tail and add 1 minute of cooking time for every ounce of weight.

When done, strain the lobster from the water. Pour the water into your hotpot as the base. Serve the lobster on the side so people can pick the meat out to dip into the hotpot.

Bring the hotpot to a simmer. Add the potato cubes, snow fungus, mushrooms, and noodles.

OPTIONAL: this wasnt in the show, but its fun having sauces on the side :) i had oyster sauce, dry seasoned chili dip, melted butter, and soy sauce available

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Also YESSSS our manifestations pulling through again!! I’m lowk so shocked they’re on the cover I would’ve expected Shidou and Aiku or something but I’m CERTAINLY not complaining….we’re basically guaranteed tabieita crumbs then everyone cheer I can’t wait to get my hands on it

But to reference your replies to Jeirin I saw in passing SHSJSH no YOURE the goat!!! But fear not I will be translating the minute I get my hands on it I’m actually so excited to read it!!!!! I’m still never getting over all the typos I left in the light novels like idk how you got through that I barely understood what I said myself LMAOOO safe to say I WILL be proofreading before sending it in this time

Also if you’re seeing this too Jeirin you’re too sweet AHJJSK ok but fr don’t be shy if either of you ever want something translated just holler I usually end up seeing your posts either in my feed while scrolling or while digging for my own asks LMAOO

Ok but back to our main quest convo

LMAOO Karasu having his team z moment when they were betrayed by kuon except it’s reader /j

SHSHSHS looking forward to the next flashback reunion my eyes definitely aren’t sweating

HAHAHA REAL it’s a core part of who he is wait im laughing zantetsu having his keystone in his glasses but inside of practically like Maxie’s is on the side imagine he chooses a dumbass move and puts it on the nose bridge so he can strike a cool pose pushing his glasses up while he activates the mega evolution process LMAOOOOOOO WAIT otoya zantetsu interaction did happen in epinagi!!!! When karasus team provokes the team saying their faces look weak (i think it might’ve been himizu but Karasu says they might cry first” zantetsu can only think of saying “you wanna square up bro??” As a come back and gets all up in otoyas face (do you remember that one panel where otoyas leaning backwards while zantetsu screams at him because it’s that one LOL) the idiot x idiot chemical reaction always hits too hard Reo and Karasu having to save their asses so real

Imagine Tullia and Karasu treating reader and otoya like noobs LMAOAO I love the idea of reader and otoya progressing together though it’s also funny to think about otoya tweaking over reader getting his dream team in terms of cool vibes

THE BAROUKIN TAG HAS ME GONE NOOOO DONT PULL A BAROU ON US ok anyways this is fr too funny I can’t wait for this arc

I was gonna say I kinda prefer having more megas LMAO just forgot if they ever stayed a canon reason for that restriction but the mega gyarados adds another layer to the ‘scary to everyone else but a puppy dog to reader trope’ and I love it!! Certainly doesn’t need the power buff but the extra aura enhancement would be funny LOL Maybe the keystone thing is like it has to activate/sync with the Pokémon’s specific stone so it can’t do two at once or something? Kinda like it’s still “running/on” while the active pokemon is in mega form maybe but yeah I’m sure you’ll figure something out LMAO

SHSHSH FR like I won’t bash anyone who enjoys it but ME PERSONALLY?? Nuh uh I’ll pass thank you…(also yeah me neither I always get jumpscared by it in the tags HAHA there’s lowk so many floating around though)

LAZYTOWN MENTION SHDBSJDJS WAIT WHY ARE YOU COOKING AGAIN??? This is too funny ego as Robbie rotten too HAHAHA imagine Rin as stingy and is chigiri automatically Stephanie because of the hair LMAOO

Wait also my memory’s blanking again if I don’t have any other ask in your box replying to our other convo lmk I hope that’s not the case because I deleted what I wrote already er

- Karasu anon

BRO i am so glad it wasn’t any of the other more popular characters SKDJFHS tabieita fr cancelling out the itoshis we love that for them my goats fr

AHAH my translation goat i will be relying on you like always!! and trust your translations are better than the ones i see on tik tok so it’s all good

WAIT YEAH i forgot about that KSLJDHF so basically otoya x zantetsu crossover is already established okay that’s perfect LMAOAO PLEASEEE he would have the mega stone right on the bridge of his glasses and reo makes sm fun of it and he’s just like “nah you don’t understand the vision” meanwhile nagi’s like “yukimiya moment??” nobody understands the meme (including himself tbh) he’s just breaking the fourth wall a bit…okay wait but imagine a double battle and it’s reo and karasu vs otoya and zantetsu ykw the insane thing is like otoya and zantetsu might manage to pull it off KSJHSD like if he throws out abomasnow, otoya picks ninetales, karasu uses garchomp, and reo uses maile…ninetales can take care of mawile easily and it has flash fire like houndour/houndoom so it can tank garchomp’s fire attacks while abomasnow uses blizzard or smth since garchomp is 4x weak to ice HAHAHA wait that’s actually lowkey insane i bet karasu and reo go crying to reader/nagi and they have to whip out gyarados and arcanine to deal with things

otoya and reader are so problematic cousins coded HAHA like in a sense tullia and karasu are kind of like the wise older siblings because they’re a lot more experienced whereas otoya and reader are just up to nonsense CONSISTENTLY also wait that’s so true i always think it’s funny how nagi and reader have opposite-vibe teams but at least arcanine and reuniclus are kinda intimidating/goodra is a pseudo legendary so he’s on the same level in that sense meanwhile otoya truly has NOTHING like my man is seething every time she makes a catch

yeahhh i’m sure i’ll be able to figure smth out!! i’m also lowkey considering whether i want other people to be able to mega evolve their pokémon or not becuase reo has gallade and mawile plus karasu has garchomp and pidgeot and otoya has ampharos and i’m sure there’s more characters so i’ll def have to think if i want it to be smth super rare and exclusive to reader and houndoom or not

LAZYTOWN IS SO PERFECT IT JUST CAME TO ME IN A VISION???? ego gives robbie rotten lowkey HEAVY and kunigami is so sportacus it’s insane…help chigiri as stephanie has me crying though LSDKFJH you’re lowkey right though 😭

yes you did send smth dw i think i answered it already!!

[meltedbluecaterpillar]

Yay..#hydration af 🔥🔥 I'm...having a smootie!

AHH...im so glad..I was shy to bring it up. I really wanna play the game bc usually when smth is a game first its better than the anime? (I think the game was first..) yea..I see all the content subbed bc the eng anime js..kills me. They sound uncannily like teenage white boys that all have mushroom hair and wanna hit ..

Ahh? You write? Smirk???

From what I know it really is just dark fantasy. Like..what dark vampire content HASNT been considered problematic? Even like. Twilight LOL.

Hhhh i don't know his lore..Laito where are you..Laito...Id giggle at a crossover. Laito looks like a Trey Cater with the Ace mindset. And Kanato,,I love him he's a sweety. A little loco but he's so sweettieee..I..only know the brothers..and the mom. That is my last memory of dialovers..was the mom?.. - 🐍

Hello Viper, I’m excited about your smoothie! Yesterday I had a veggie one. I don’t eat vegetables… I usually drink them.

No need to be shy. I am… A lifeless dork. A shut in. So, I know about a lot of animanga related things. Otome especially. The anime was horrible, but I love the music they used. I used to sing along with the opening of the first season. The game is phenomenal. Again, a bit problematic because it’s… Mildly sexist. I actually like The Great Ayato and his bullying… I’m sorry my breasts are tiny… I’ll pray for them to grow so you’ll be happy my lord… Ahem… The English voice acting is horrible. I watched it only in Japanese because I couldn’t stand how lifeless they sounded in English. To my knowledge, and I may be wrong, the game is fully voice acted. You just need a translator.

I do secretly write for DiaLove. I was planning to only post it on Wattpad. I wanted to make a big story called ‘Juice Box’ but I never figured out who I wanted to be the main interest. Since the anime follows Ayato’s storyline heavily, it didn’t feel fair to the other potential routes. But I do sometimes write little oneshots. I just never post them since DiaLove is so niche now. I hope it stays niche. If TikTok discovered it and some of my other favorite games I would rip my heart from my chest and cannibalize myself.

I actually like Twilight a lot. I have a friend who owns the books and I want to finish reading soon. I watched the movies! I say problematic because the boys are pretty sexist and there is a lot of nonconsensual harassment and touching. Also the neck biting scenes are very intimate and have been suggested to be an allegory for sex depending on the scene. Again, usually nonconsensual because Yui/MC has no backbone. There’s also the Mukami brothers + Shin and Carla but usually I focus on the Sakami family… Ahhhhh but no one will stop me from moaning about Yuma. I want to be his stupid sow… I don’t mind… Treat me like livestock and feed me sugar cubes… Ahhhh his abuse feels so good~ Ah- I mean… I don’t condone this stuff outside of fantasy. But USA Nintendo doesn’t want their image ruined by horny vampires.

There are… I think… Three moms? Karl had a few wives, some at the same time cause he’s freaky as hell. One of them actually… The reason Laito acts the way he does… His mom was doing things with him that she shouldn’t. And she does not feel bad about it. But she dies so… We win… Sorta… I love Kanato’s bad ending he’s so odd and sweet at the same time. The game is just one giant rollercoaster of ‘please don’t let me die here I forgot to save again’ and ‘oh the moaning sounds are making me excited…’

I apologize for rambling… I really do love Diabolik Lovers. And because I discovered it at an impressionable age… I’ve turned into a SadoMas. Please tell me… Who your favorite is when you start getting into it… Naturally, The Great Ayato is mine because we act the same and share a birthday… But I want to kiss many of the characters… Ahhhh… Save me…

[codedredalert]

D E T E R M I N A T I O N 

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

Responses from the Opera Screencaps Captioning Quiz

Hello, everyone, and thank you for taking my quiz! I had SO MUCH fun reading your captions-- there were several times I literally started crying from laughing so hard at the amazingness of your work! With that in mind, the captions (which I will continue to add onto as more people take it):

(also, thank you to @dichterfuerstin​ for translating the German captions I got)

originally taken from: the Wiener Staatsoper’s 2020 production of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s Die Entführung aus dem Serail, featuring Regula Mühlemann (center) as Blonde, Michael Laurenz (right) as Pedrillo, and an unnamed extra (left) as the Grim Reaper

Responses:

(Backstage warm-up) “ok so someone dropped the pulse”

me and my friends watching the fire burn after doing arson

Introducing the polycule to the parents

*boom* ... did...you guys hear that too?

Ma Signor !

Knight in whinging armour gone wrong, look at how he holds the egg. Polyamory with weird knight and death.

the father, son and the holy ghost are very gay

the gays meeting for brunch, 2021, colorized

chicken lady forces death and a very flamboyantly homosexual anthropomorphized pink bird to be parents of her egg (they dont want to be)

That’s just me and my friends on our night out (before covid rip)-- closest

A Good Friday night

good omens (2019)

["the pocket guide to boy/girl/mischief" meme] who's the boy and who's the mischief though????

Papageno and Papagena take their first-born egg trick-or-treating

Angry Birds - The Musical. A pig stole an egg and the bird unites with death to take revenge.

I love my bird wife

Someone got murdered during the funky chicken dance

throuple murders child and steals sibling of said child

When you and your friends have widely different tastes in literature

angel leading twink to his rightful place (hell)

draco malfoy from a very potter musical and a death eater are very much in the wrong show

What have I gotten myself into

Mlm/wlw solidarity but I’m not telling who is who

A woman stands with a pink dipshit with an egg and a reaper.

A bird-couple makes a pact with Death, sacrificing their first-born bird-child in order to bring good luck upon their unborn bird-baby

There are three types of people on Halloween:

Uh oh, I don’t think the mother hen is very happy about this...

oh god, they’ve invented seussical. It’s too early!

gay brunch

Three little maids from school are we

guys maybe if we dress gay enough we can distract everyone from the dead flapper bee in the back

those three killed a duck for her egg and are facing the conswquences.

Duck has egg with human, shocked and upset due to biological impossibility

When you bout to make a banging omelet so you invite your fellow queers

"No mortal man could pass that egg, but heaven shall repair your rectum."

originally taken from: the Salzburg Festival’s 2007 production of Hector Berlioz’s Benvenuto Cellini, featuring Maija Kovalevska (left) as Teresa Balducci, Laurent Naouri (center, in chimney) as Fieramosca, and Burkhard Fritz (right) as Benvenuto Cellini

Responses:

“In this same interlude it doth befall That I, one Snout by name, present a wall; And such a wall, as I would have you think, That had in it a crannied hole or chink, Through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisby, Did whisper often very secretly. This loam, this rough-cast and this stone doth show That I am that same wall; the truth is so: And this the cranny is, right and sinister, Through which the fearful lovers are to whisper.” - a midsummer night’s dream, act v scene 1

"ah yes a prime specimen. see here, right in this box is our one of a kind hob goblin that can be all yours for the low low price of your soul"

what, YOU don't have a special eavesdropping chimney window?

Hänsel und Gretel plotting against the witch

man takes a wrong turn and ends up in a chimney, catches his girlfriend cheating-- closest

when you end up third wheeling the straight couple

lady cheats on her leather jacket wearing scummy boyfriend and when he unexpectedly comes home she hides the lover in the chimney

A straight girl and her gay best friend gossip about stuff idk

Idk Shakespeare?

experimental couples therapy feat. the chimney mf from mary poppins

Area Couple Inadvertently Traps Santa-in-Training in Chimney as they Attempt Rooftop Flirting

Landlords laugh over student renter's misfortune

I never asked for this

Ay yo lil mama lemme whisper in your ear

voyeurist listens to sandy and Danny from grease

Psssst! Did you hear about Susan? You won’t believe it!

lady and the tramp meets beauty and the beast?

human trafficking

And for just $30 you too could have your own tiny brick cage!

Psst I’m wearing assless chaps under this dress

A couple tortures a man in a box.

It's all fun and games being stuck in a chimney until your greasy uncle steals your crush from right above you-- okay ngl this could actually be a great Don Pasquale concept

Taking eavesdropping to the next level

Will you two stop being lovey dovey and let me out? SUMMER LOVIN, HAPPENED SO FAST— 

overhearing how people talk about you when they think they're alone puts you in the shithouse 

Does he know we can see him?

dear god, i am so fucking hungry, yall please just do whatever heterosexuals do so i can go eat a popsicle 

the human version of the trash man from sesame street is realizing that those two are going to fuck on his trash can 

Tmw you capture an angry short dude and start trashtalking him where he can hear 

Omg what if we kissed but we actually kissed the lil goblin man under us

"Remember, don't feed him after midnight"

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Leonardo Estevez (right, on fake horse) as Le Comte d’Oberthal

Responses:

“When I said we needed to drain the swamp I didn’t think there were people actually living there”

horse? what horse? no sir i dont know what horse youre referring to.

definitely don't have a napoleon complex going on

King stole La Scala‘s Lohengrin set

king breaks all his horses, has to use statue dragged by servants as transportation because he’s too kingly too walk

Emperor Söder and his subjects on a carnival procession

man on horse makes a big deal out of being on a horse

That’s not Zeffirelli because the horse is not alive

Who the fuck put a horse on the stage

isn't this that picture of napoleon on the horse

Area Count Thinks Citizens will be Intimidated by his Extremely Fake-looking Horse Statue-- closest

Everyone wants their turn on the giant plaster horse. Police are there to make sure everyone waits their turn.

Night out with the lads

Local royalty horrified at the state of his own damn kingdom

gay army fights different gay aesthetics-- hi author how does it feel to be the funniest fucking person on this quiz

Well at least I LOOK badass

ceasar if he hadn't gotten stabbed (colourised)

some soldiers jumped out of my kindergarten fairytale collection book to burn the don carlos flemish deputies at the stake

It’s just a model

Is that how you feel pulling up in your Honda Civic, Madge?

Someone rides a horse statue in public.

Just a normal party with the bros.

what is this, some kind of crossover episode? 

Terribly sorry for all the fuss, it’s just, that is, my horse is afraid of neck ruffles. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he’s—whoaaa there—he said he was a french courtier in a past life and he’s allergic to English fashion 

Horse seller, listen to me! I am riding into battle. I need your strongest horse. - We have horses at home. - The horses at home: 

All hail Incitatus the king 

we are not ripping off shakespeare’s henry viii. what the fuck. this is about lenny xi you uncultured swine, go drown in a pit of your own farts 

oh god is that hamilton 

Guy Removed From Art Museum For Sitting On Statue, more at eleven 

Gay <3

Officer: This horse... is a virgin! Crowd: *cheers*

originally taken from: the Parma Verdi Festival’s 2017 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Stiffelio, featuring Maria Katzarava (left) as Lina and Luciano Ganci (right) as Stiffelio

Responses:

That One kid in class

its a mEntAL BreAkDowN *final countdown but kazoo*

*record scratch* yeah, that's me. you're probably wondering how I got here-- closest

Dad keeps monologuing, teenager is done

left: all of my concerned friends, right: my emo ass having a very public mental breakdown

the demons in the corner of my room when im just trying to sleep

lady gets mansplained to (do i need to say more, we've all been there)

It’s probably an area baritone telling off an area soprano-- sorry; it’s a tenor. soprano is right though.

That was a fake horse in the last photo right?

child comes out as gay to father at a particularly bad time

dissociation solves everything

I can't believe it's not butter

Honey we talked about this

My sleep paralysis demon is Crowley from supernatural

child has nightmare of boring job

When you start dating a singer but he won’t stop practicing at night

just an average day in a hetero marriage

what do i do my wife's having period cramps again

Stop having an existential crisis. It’s time to sing!

“No son of mine will kin Gomez Addams under MY roof”

Crowley stares into space while a teen has post nut clarity.

When he wont stop reciting jordan peterson monologues!!

Do you realize how effed you are?

Ugh, not this lecture again! Dad’s Practicing For His Experimental Indie Band Again 

asking your parents for help with your own personal situation and them just ranting off about what they went through instead of helping in any way 

Will he shut up already!

no one tell him he’s yelling in the wrong direction, no one tell him plnsbdjddhdj 

this kid is tired of his dad listening to rush limbaugh (a man who claimed to be pro life but died anyway) 

Me internally vs externally 

Daddy issues

originally taken from: the Grand Théâtre de Genève’s 2020 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Les Huguenots, featuring several chorus members

Responses:

It’s the deadly eye Of Poogley-pie. Look away, look away, As you walk by, ‘Cause whoever looks right at it Surely will die. It’s a good thing you didn’t … You did? … Good-bye. - shel Silverstein

why the fuckith? my good sir, i beg of you to put your pants back on

I hate this itchy hat

Titanic Extras hear that they have to do extra hours

people waiting to board the titanic watch someone fall off the plank

pov: you’re a time traveler

guy in the flatcap is embarrassed by patriotism and pathos

No idea. For some reason Le Marseillaise comes to mind

Is this from Harry Potter?

disneyland main street usa workers on strike

local tries to hide behind Newsies cap to avoid unpleasant but inevitable conversations. meanwhile, some very fashionable ladies look on.

"Thank fuck, 2020 was just a dream after all"

“We gather here today because this bitch got exactly what she deserved” “heaven!” “Stfu Stephanie she’s going to hell and we all know it”-- not quite but this basically happens later on in the opera (and act) so yeah (except the person in question very much Did Not Deserve It)

dc movie filter on bridgerton

america?

looks like my history teacher paused the prohibition documentary again

Who still wears page boy hats bro?

Coming out to a room of people who Already Knew That

Bitches are relieved at some party.

Several drunk people exiting getting off the subway attempting to seem sober and rational but realizing they have somehow lost all of their possessions

How tf do I act natural in this situation-- closest

“do you think any of them noticed that I don’t know the pledge of allegiance” 

It's too fucking hot outside for this outfit 

?

when hyyh yoonkook ending just hits different 

pedestrians watch in horror as the triangle shirtwaist factory burns and the workers throw themselves out of the windows from a dozen stories up 

Starting the pledge of allegiance be like 

He's having a heart attack oh no oh god oh fuck

originally taken from: if I remember correctly, the Semperoper Dresden’s 2018 semi-staging of Johann Strauss II’s Die Fledermaus, with Jonas Kaufmann as Gabriel von Eisenstein

Responses:

“William Shakespeare wrote: "To thine own self be true And it must follow, as the night the day Thou canst not then be false to any man" I believe this wise statement best applies to a woman A blonde woman Over the past three years she taught me And showed us all That being true to yourself never goes out of style Ladies and gentlemen Our valedictorian: Elle Woods!” - legally blonde the musical

eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs

woooooorrrrd

Finally Jonas has graduated! It’s about time, considering he’s an international star.

what my professors think they look like

Prof. Dr. Dr. When someone tells him there are more than two genders

'and since you've now graduated high school, you'll be entering college etc. blablabla' .........meanwhile, there's a whole row of graduates daring each other to chug the cheap vodka one of them has brought in gallons (yes that happened at my graduation, lol)

Jonas darling baby <3-- can’t argue with that

I just realized I have no idea what the actual fuck happens in an opera

ok this one is just what jonas kaufmann always wears you can't fool me.

"as valedictorian i will share with you the importance of loving the floor"

"Yes, mother, my art degree will make me money!"

Graduation speakers are out, singers are in

Senior year takes a new meaninbg

mansplainer professor explains the concept of feminism to women

Your Prof when you finally turn in that missing assignment be like

younger boris johnson (derogatory)

jonas kaufmann retires from opera and takes up motivational speaking

What a fine graduation evening we’re having today

-70 points for slytherin you all have no swag

A man with a college hat sings.

An obviously greying actor trying to play a university student in a low-budget porn parody

How it feels to graduate high school after being held back for years

East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brûlée, and a brainiac can break it down on the dance floor-

I may not have been "cool" in high school, but in ten years you will all be working for me!

I finally got my GED!

that one guy in ur intro to cultural anthropology class who mansplains to the professor somehow fucking graduated

he;s just graduating and taking his speech too serously idk

Graduation speeches with that one dude who got held back 3 times

Smrt

originally taken from: the Metropolitan Opera’s 2011 staging of Gioachino Rossini’s Le Comte Ory with Joyce DiDonato (left) as Isolier, Diana Damrau (center) as Countess Adèle, and Juan Diego Florez (right) as Le Comte Ory (disguised as a hermit)

Responses:

There is something very [disturbing grunts] About polyamorous couples - polyamorous, Chris Fleming

jinkies

femme fatale (including to herself)

I’ll have a threesome soon !

Hot guy walks by, everyone swoons.

thirdwheeling friend does not realize the other two are having sex

When your girlfriend had „just two beers“ again

jesus is exasperated about having to drag the two ladies towards doing what he needs them to do instead of purple dramatically declaring suicidal intent over the smallest trivial matters and red being equally dramatic about declaring that it's not the way! stay alive! i love you!!

The throuple is thriving

Get off the milf

orgy

my last three braincells because im a horny slut

countess receives too much love and is confused on how to react

Rasputin's lesser known romp with a much older czarina of russia

Woman's soul leaves body

Jesus and co. are worried after another woman gets pregnant without having sex

bisexual looks at photos of celebrity couples

When you go to the party to socialize with new people but your weirdo friend group starts getting clingy

Jesus cumming

one of those weird church christmas pageants but everybody's drunk

What have I done

Hozier??????????

Jesus assfucks some purple lady being hugged.

This time, the chick IS the magnet

An affair/threesome gone awry (2019 colorized)

What do you mean they canceled GLOW?

“I TOLD you it was cashmere!”

Are you wearing the - - The Gucci dress? Yes I am.

It's not what it looks like!

jesus is fucking that one cheerleader who grew up to be a suburban mom with one (1) super cool dress she stole from her kid who is desperately hugging her middle begging for it back because the spring fling is coming up and jason might actually make eye contact with her for more than three seconds.

jesus and mary magdaline and some other bitch

I’m at a bar and these drunk girls are flirting with me, do I lOOK GAY?!

Shrek 5, jesus's return

c. 2025 First attempt of an Officer and his Wife with a Handmaiden (colourized)

just about all of these are close lol

originally taken from: the Bolshoi Theater’s 1993 staging of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s The Maid of Orléans, featuring Nina Rautio (left) as Joan of Arc and Vyacheslav Pochapsky (right) as Thibaut d’Arc

Responses:

Don’t look, I’m still pooping

yall, the audacity of this man. he fuckin talked to me

*i can't even tell you how wrong you are* *it would be insulting to ME*-- closest

Cospeto!

„No I’m not talking to you, you keep cracking bad jokes!“ - „But I got another!“

when you’re mad at him but he says he’ll buy you food if you cheer up

When I’m wallowing in self-pity but my friends won’t comfort me

right: wanna fuck ;) left: yeah, fuck OFF lmao

Her face is screaming “don’t tell me what to do”

Yeah I got nothing

gay man tries to hit on a lesbian bc he thinks she's a twink. she's not amused but she's watching this happen anyway

me tired of MET's bullshit and them organising a Netrebko, known blackface apologist, a recital during Black History Month. (sorry im still fucking salty lol)

"stop smiling at me like that I'm trying to pout over here"

"I got fleas, you got fleas... wanna fuck?"

I have the best idea!

Haha nooooo don’t hit me with that bat you’re so sexxyy

lesbian is bothered by dilf

Me trying to flirt

if call me by your name was hetero and set in america

how many more dad jokes can i take before i explode

So. You’ve gotten yourself in a little pickle again.

What if we fought in the Russian revolution together ✨???????... unless??

Two people flirt in a poor place of town/

"If you ask me what I've got under this dirty, shapeless tunic one more time I swear to god I will kick your rotting teeth in"

You look like ur gonna kill me but ok

Really? You again?

Okay, I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes, do you think it’s safe to—oh god, he’s still there.

Have you seen Godot?

she is tired of everyone’s shit. she has done so many derivatives it physically pains her to see a variable. dont test her. ur icarus rn.

idk pick better pictures-- I HAVE DIED THE SHEER AUDACITY AND HUBRIS I LOVE THIS

200% done with your crap 

Homeless man has fucking legs of steel n is gonna show off his Russian dance moves

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2019 staging of Paul Dukas’ Ariane et Barbe-bleue, featuring Sophie Koch (right) as Ariane and I don’t remember who the person on the left is rip me

Responses:

The knight who wore this into battle sure was swaggy

dear god its hiddeous

Capitalism

Knight in shining armour gone even more wrong.

ghost contemplates the safety of spiky motorcycle helmet

„Stop! He feels bullied!“

'this is my newest take for jesus's crucifixion crown ...... what do you mean they already put him up'

That’s probably a really expensive magic helmet idk. IDK-- closest

Omg I love the adventure zone!

minesweeper (windows xp)

"Okay whatever you do don't touch the shiny spiky ball" "It's so shiny I wanna touch it"

Taking down the trash way too late

IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM

Darth Vader got stuck in the freezer.... again. Leia isn’t happy

Star Wars 2030

“And here is the very latest in motorcycle helmet trends” “Look, I only came to the mall for a pair of socks “

futuristic kkk

long-suffering jewelry store attendant really wants to retire

Put it down put it down put it down

“Hmm no you should see a doctor about that”

A weird ass crown is presented

The creation of sars-cov-2: an experimental Eurotrance nightclub art piece gone horribly wrong

How it feels to want something that u cant have

AND WE WILL CALL IT—SPIKE MAN actually do you think that’s too obvious?? Because of the—yeah, because of the spikes?? See, that’s what I’m worried about. I want it to be SCARY

I know it's risky but... lube me up

?

use the force luke.

that is a weird fleshlight

When you get an ugly gift and need to find a way to get rid of it, so your family member/friend offers to smash it

Touch the orb

originally taken from: the Opera Vlaanderen’s 2019 staging of Fromental Halévy’s La Juive, with Nicole Chevalier (left, with bottle) as Princess Eudoxie, Enea Scala (center, under table) as Prince Léopold, and Roy Cornelius Smith (right) as Éléazar

Responses:

When no one comes to your birthday party :(

fantastic, day 487 of mischief and they have yet to find my masterful hiding spot

i really wonder who he thinks he's playing footsie with

Marriage crisis. Reason sits under the table-- closest but not in the way you think (after all, the man under the table IS a tenor).

the last supper afterparty after jesus left

When you order the last supper on wish

espionage at the Politischer Rosenmontag

Probably the wrong opera but is that Leporello under the table

Now THIS is a Good Friday night

this was every birthday party i went to between the ages of 5 and 11

that awkward moment when you drop your fork under the table but when you re-emerge everyone else has left except one drunk lady and the guy trying to deal with her

After the last supper

Tfw you arrive to the dinner party too early and have to hide until a more fashionable hour

When the cishets aren’t home

waiter hides from customers

Nobody: My dog every time I’m eating:

what's left of the homies Jesus had dinner with

university chem lab experiment gone terribly wrong

I’ve been under the table FOR 30 MINUTES

Set your friends up by tossing them off under the table, they’ll think it’s each other n fall in luv

Someone hids under a table

"You're about to see an surreptitious-under-the-table-dick-sucking master at work"

5 yr old me trying to eat the desert under the table without my parents finding out be like:

They never invite me to their parties!

Just another girl’s night in

Oops! Didn’t notice you the table.

dionysus - bts (2019, colorized)

just a normal episode of eric andre (eric is the one under the table)

Just a normal day with the boys

Thievery

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Kate Aldrich (left, surrounded by women in white) as Fidès and John Osborn (center, looking like a Jesus doppelganger) as Jean de Leyde

Responses:

Hold up, is that Eggman above Jesus?

holy disco

Looks like Tannhäuser. Our lord and saviour Richard Wagner. Now I need to be saved from that.

catholicism

me defending pineapple on pizza (THANK YOU)

jesus but hes about to be abducted by the alien ufo above him

Emmmmmmm Heaven? Idk

Lord of the rings?

ewww christianity gross

"behold, I am Important"

"Seriously?? It's not ACTUALLY pyjama day? Fuck you guys!"

Jesus at the Disco

Jesus Finds The Molerat People Who Live Under Bethlehem

disco is heaven

Want to join my new religion?

the kkk

church christmas pageant where everyone's sober but it's based on the director's fever dream

Am I the only one who sees the giant demon? Just me? Okay...

“Oh god I think I’m starting my period”

A party is held with a priest in the middle

"Let's get this secret Vatican sex party rolling!"

The new avengers endgame set is looking great!!

You know, guys, I try not to be a bother but...I can’t help but feel like I missed a dress code memo for this wedding??? It’s cocktail, right??”

Jesus visits Hogwarts

I must really stink if no one will even come close to me

the extra ass funeral i DESERVE

star wars life day

A cult at it’s best-- closest

Shrek 5, Jesus is still there I guess

originally taken from: the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden’s 2013 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Les vêpres siciliennes, featuring Bryan Hymel (left, standing) as Henri, Lianna Haroutounian (center, kneeling in the black gown) as Duchess Hélène, and Erwin Schrott (kneeling to her right) as Jean Procida

Responses:

When the director’s like “great rehearsal guys, just a few notes before I let you go” but it’s already 9:13 and your mom’s waiting in the parking lot

loyalist of subjects

bow before your queen

They forgot to take down the stage boxes after the Vienna opera ball but the show must go on.

somebody forgot to book chairs for this funeral

Me sharing God’s (Hayley koyoko) word on the discord server

mass execution bc the oboe solo sucked ass-- closest

That’s too many black suits I can’t see shit

I can’t even tell what’s going on here

8th grade school assembly about how it's uncool to shit on the walls at school

let's all get fancy so we can go to the opera and sit on the stage (idk this one's hard lol)

"Yes i am a time traveller, now don't freak out"

Tfw you forget to pay your lighting bills

White guys make decisions that will benefit them and screw someone that’s not a white guy over-- OUCH but that is too real (although not really in context here)

dead man gives speech at his own funeral

brotus and the boys ??? last meeting before the stabbing

high society social function ends in mass murder-- right opera, wrong scene

Someone walks into the talent show stage with a dog

Black-dressed bitches worship a man.

Worst school assembly of all time

POV:You're the window in the classroom and someone said "its snowing"

When the conductor shows up fashionably late to the orchestra concert

That's what you get for choosing the cheapest ticket option, get back in the mud where you belong

?

theyre just trying to jump into a grave at a funeral leabe them alone this is normal

oh my god he really whipped his dick out in front of everyone, this is just like in 1776 guys, except some women are actually in the room this time,

A funeral, stop wearing so much black

I want to slap their bald heads like rice

originally taken from: the Teatro Real Madrid’s 2018 staging of Gaetano Donizetti’s Lucia di Lammermoor, featuring Roberto Tagliavini (right) as Raimondo

Responses:

Crowd “haha!! Looks like someone missed the all-black memo!! Now it’s laugh-in-your-face time! / Guy on the floor (whispering to guy against wall): go, save yourself! I’ll hold them off...”

if i leave now i wont be a witness and can tell the police i had no idea

it was the best of times, it was the worst of times

Guy in the back pretends to help but is to far away to even know what’s going on.

priest walks in on beginning of an orgy, contemplated joining but is too scared-

when someone brings up capitalism but you’re just trying to play minecraft

lol lets trample this guy while the judge isnt looking

Again. Too many black costumes

Loved this Dostoevsky novel

i would know if opera directors were more creative with clothing choices ngl

me on parties lol

"imma just sneak out of here while everyone else is distracted"

"Where did he get this flooring!? Amazing!"

Everyone act normal!

The tell tale heart but they got REALLY drunk

man tposes to ward off vampires after being caught undercover

boys ???? night

the priest really shouldn't have visited the insane asylum-- closest

He’s FINE everyone’s been hit by a car before

Something happens in a room.

Perks of being a wallflower

There's always that one person in the fight whos trying not to get involved when they really wanna

Oh good, they’re all posing for a Rembrandt painting, I can just sneeeeaaak out the back here...

The gamer livestreaming Resident Evil + everyone watching the stream ? waiting for him to open the door just knowing it will trigger a chase scene

Quick!

the guy t posing in the back is regretting his every decision.-- also accurate

the us senate jumps ted cruz, some other wack ass gop senator is trying to sneak away

...I spoke too soon, however this is a James Bond mission

Queers help fellow queer do math but it's a struggle

[gloriafc]

Angel Baby-Part 1

*slight Lucifer crossover*

Can I request Paul's imprint being another type of supernatural creature besides shapeshifters and vampires? -anonymous

Everything about you screamed angel. Your looks, your personality, your hobbies. Of course you're only half, your mother is completely human, but your father is the devil himself. Before your mother died she'd always say that you're exactly like him, the smart mouth, always rudely honest, nosy, and your beauty could capture anyone's attention. Of course your dad is very protective of you along with your uncle, but they both know you can protect yourself, being stronger than anyone you come in contact with. You share many qualities with your father; you're capable of making people tell you their desires, yet it doesn't work as well as your father's but you are capable of getting anything you need to know out of someone, you can literally get out of anything, and just like him you don't need a key to open or turn on something. A couple things you can do that he can't, and he claims it's just because you're part human and your angel side is protecting you, is that you can literally sniff out if someone is human or not, and you're able to heal a human, like if they broke some bones you can quickly heal them and painlessly.

When your birthday came around your father gave you a club. He decided to expand to Seattle and wanted you to manage it, since you do so well helping Maze with the accounting and everything else. So you agree, and set up to run a successful club.

You actually meet the Cullen's first, running into Rosalie on the floor of the club and instantly the both of you stiffen knowing the other isn't human. You're quick to pulling her into your office before looking at her as she looks at you. "What are you?" "I could ask you the same thing, you smell human." You notice her rubbing her arm from where you grabbed her. "Sorry about that." She looks at you before questioning, "If you're human how did you manage to hurt me."

The two of you explain what you are, slowly becoming best friends as the days go by, Rosalie constantly visiting you at work to learn more and feed back to her family. You don't officially meet anyone until summertime comes around and Rosalie asks you for a favor. "Just so you know you owe me your soul now." "What? I thought you coul-" "Relax I'm fucking with you. Only my dad can do that. So what am I here for?"

The Cullen's quickly introduce themselves and go through what they need help with. Emmet quickly grows to like you, with every smart comment you make. Jasper finds himself protectively drawn to you when you explain what you are to them, Rosalie not giving them all the information she learned about angels from you.

"So these newborns are supposed to be how strong again?" "One can take out an entire human army with little effort." "So? I can do that with no effort, just a flap of my wings." "You have wings too?!"

When you yawn Esme goes into mother mode, "Oh you should get some sleep before we meet with the pack tomorrow morning. You're free to use any of the rooms we have." "What pack?"

You finally notice the man who's entered the house, smelling him first. "My pack. Shape shifters." "Do you shift into dogs or? You really smell like a freshly washed dog." Everyone watches to see if Sam gets mad but he just shakes his head and offers his hand which you gladly shake. You quickly go through with Sam about what you are before making your way to Rosalie's room to crash before the meeting.

As you walk through the forest alongside Emmett and Rosalie, you let Rosalie explain the relationship between Edward and Bella. "So your brother likes her blood basically, like heroin." "You know what, seems like you get the vampire mating process. Why don't you tell us about the angel mating process?" "I would, if I knew it myself."

When you enter the field Jasper and Emmet start wrestling with each other as you wait for the pack. You and Rosalie play tic-tac-toe in the dirt with a stick.

You stand straight when the wolves enter the field, staring at how big they are. Something feels off but you just brush off the feeling thinking it has to do with multiple supernatural creatures in one place.

You hear someone ask, "Who's that?" And you absentmindedly answer, "Y/N" the same time Edward does making everyone look at you. "What?" "Did you just answer the pack?" "I guess so? Why?" "Only Edward can hear their thoughts when they're in their wolf form."

You stare at the ground thinking and listening to the pack talk to each other not bothering on paying attention to the vampires fighting with each other. How is it possible, if no one can hear them talking to each other, that you can hear the pack? You feel something coming your way, so you look up and side step, just as a giant branch comes soaring your way along with a growl from one of the wolves. "Did you really just throw a mini tree at me?" "Are you going to stand there staring at the ground, or are you going to fight?" "You realize I could kick your ass in my sleep right?" "Please."

After fighting Emmett, and winning, you walk past a fallen branch. The branch manages to cut your leg making you hiss and pull at your pant leg, inwardly groaning when you see the small cut.

Realizing that you're bleeding you stand up straight, Edward hearing your thoughts looks at you confused, "What's wrong?" You can't help but take a step back, not knowing what to think, "Uh nothing. It doesn't bother you?" Gesturing toward your leg, Edward shakes his head, "It doesn't even smell like blood, more like those candles they have inside churches."

Thinking about the cut on your leg you start walking backwards, "I gotta go, there's something I need to take care of." Carlisle is quick to stop you, "Wait! The wolves will need your scent, in case you don't come back until the battle."

Letting each wolf sniff you you feel yourself freeze when one gets near you, making it look at you and freeze itself, noticing that it's the last one you start walking backwards staring at Rosalie, "Is that all you needed me for?" Seeing the state you're in she nods before you start jogging across the field.

"Are you running?" You turn around and smirk, "Of course not. I have my own form of travel." You quickly turn and fasten your pace letting your wings out and start flying, all the way to LA.

You find yourself sitting across from your dad, asking him about what it's like for him to be around Chloe. "Why so many questions darling?" "I just- it's uh."

You finally manage to tell your dad about the cut and bleeding around other supernatural creatures. You groan when your dad sits with a smug look, ready to get revenge for all the times you made fun of him for being weak around Chloe.

"Dad I'm serious, I need help here." He sighs standing up and going into dad mode grabbing your shoulders, "Darling, there's nothing you can do about it. Your grandpa is just showing you, in his own twisted way, that someone is made for you. Literally."

You take the next couple of days thinking about everything, you don't even know what this person looks like, and they already make you weak. Literally.

You fly back just in time, the fights already started. You're quick to land, pushing one of the newborns off of one of the wolves and using it as a landing mat. As the newborns head falls off you scrunch up your nose, "Gross."

Rosalie shouts from across the field, "Now you show up?!" You throw up your hands and punch a vampires head off before turning towards her, "Im here aren't I?"

Before you know it the fight is over and you're helping throw the bodies into the fire.

Before you realize what you're doing you throw yourself towards one of the wolves before it can attack a rogue vampire, alongside another wolf who gets itself in the vampires grasp. As you tumble towards the ground alongside the wolf you hear screams of agony.

You watch as the wolves head into the forest before coming back out in their human form surrounding the naked boy on the ground. You stand back as Carlisle looks over the boy, "The right side of his body is shattered." It takes you seconds to push through everyone and to fall on the ground next to the boy, "I can fix it."

Everyone turns to Alice, "There's no time! They're coming." You feel yourself look at Carlisle for an explanation, "The Volturi, they don't know about the wolves, or you for that matter." You nod before standing up, "Then what do we do?" Sam interferes, "The only thing we can do." You watch as the rest of the boys around you lift up the screaming boy and head off into the forest, leaving you behind.

Rosalie comes up behind you and gives you a slight push, "Go with them. Tell them Carlisle will be there to check on him after. Besides I think there's something you should know about one of the wolf boys." You stare at her before hearing Alice say, "Five minutes."

You're quick to run into the forest following the smell of the pack until you end up at a small house where everyone is standing around outside, surrounding a man in a wheelchair. You make your way towards the group, Sam stepping in front of everyone. “How can you help him?” The man in the wheelchair rolls forward, “What are you?”

You cross your arms staring at both men, turning towards the older one. “My names Y/N, I’m an angel. Well half angel. And as of helping him, I’m capable of healing human bones, painlessly. It takes a while, but he won’t be in any pain. It’s better than having to re-break all of his bones, I’m guessing you all heal fast since you turn into wolves.

The two men stare at you along with everyone else around you before the older man raises his hand to shake yours, “Billy.” You smile and shake his, “That’s one less name for me to try and guess.” He chuckles and turns leading you into the small house, everyone else following.

You enter the living room, seeing the same boy laying on the couch groaning in pain. One of the two human woman beside him look at Billy, “His bones have probably already set wrong. They’ll need to be re-broken and reset to stop the pain.” Billy grabs your arm, “Are you positive this will help my son?” You cant help but nod and give him a soft smile, “This wouldn’t be the first person, I’ve done this for.” 

As you make your way to the couch you grab a chair setting it next to the boy. Taking your seat you set your hand on the boys abdomen and watch as his face relaxes and shows no sign of pain. It takes him a second to realize he can’t feel anything before he looks at you, “How are you doing that?” You can’t help but smirk, “Same way you turn into a giant dog.”

An hour later you're watching the boy moving around, making sure he's fully healed before you go to leave, Billy stopping you, "Y/N we need to talk about something. Stay for dinner and we'll explain, maybe you can explain more on what you are."

You quickly learn everyone's names along with their tribal legends. In turn you tell them about being a half angel, daughter to the devil.

"So is your dad actually red?" "No. He can make himself look like the pictures though." "Can you do that?" "No."

By the end of the night you've learned what an imprint is, how it works and who imprinted on you. You manage to swap numbers with the pack and the rest of the imprints but get rushed back to Seattle by an impatient uncle who appeared out of nowhere, just as you were about to finish your food.

[sonder-paradise]

I just got another idea, and I hate myself for it

Crossover, Royal AU and Pirate AU

So Captain Chuuya is your friend, and you are a Princess who is to marry Prince Fyodor, a soon to be king of a Russian Kingdom. It's an Arranged marriage, and you don't want to marry him, because you don't even know how he looks and you have never met him! And Captain Dazai has a feud with Captain Chuuya, and he uses you as a hostage. So Chuuya needs to get his friend back and also think of something in which you don't have to marry anyone!

Keep tagging me in different AUs and i may or may not feed you about those

ROWN GET OUTTA MY INBOX T^T /j

IM DYING OUT HERE

[dcarhcarts]

This.....is the 1000th post on this blog, and I definitely waited until that could be true to post it, and that’s honestly? Very fitting. Seriously, you guys are a m a z i n g and I have literally never done a milestone before so I can’t tell you what it’s supposed to look like?? But we’ve somehow Miraculously (tm) managed to reach 100 followers and - anyway, this is going to be me very unprofessionally gushing about everyone because....I love you all and you’re all amazing aaaaaa. I’m??? Literally so blessed to have made friends and write with all of you. Y’all with multiple blogs, I’m only tagging once so I don’t spam your feed ok? And - as usual, this is going to get Long, because everything I do gets Long apparently. I tried to do it chronologically but IDK how well it worked oops.

THE LOVES OF MY LIFE, THE SUN IN MY EYES, MY MOON AND STARS

@ccrrupticn  / D!!!! you are?? literally the reason I made this blog?? Without you, this thing would n o t mcfreaking exist omg!! You’re such an amazing writer (seriously, you manage so many muses and you give them all such distinct voices??? witchcraft???) and also so ???ridiculously kind! I love gushing to you about our Kids and you’re honestly A Saint (tm) for dealing with all of my blog construction/life related breakdowns, my crazy crossover headcanons and crashing into your inbox rambling about musicals <3 I miss talking to you so hmu whenever you come back if you want!!

@personnages /  Lynna!! You’re like an Actual Angel. I think you were the first person!! who talked to me??  And You were So Nice and Welcoming that you literally soothed half of my fears coming into rpc like immediately?? You basically helped me figure out how diminutives work and you’re responsible for me adding at least 3 of my muses and I cannot tell you how much I love you and every time you pop onto my dash/feed/discord/etc, it just makes me happy inside <3 Definitely 100000% will follow you to every blog (if you’ll have me lmao) regardless of fandom!! i’m super excited about all of our ship/friendship roulettes and you’re just an absolute joy to talk to.

@nikolacvnas / LYDIA goodness you are a W O N D E R. Probably the best? Historically based blog I’ve ever encountered, and definitely one of my favorite parts of the Anastasia rpc!! The care and research and attention to detail that goes into your portrayals are a s t o n i s h i n g? Your Tatya is divine, your Maria is So Lovely and I Cry For Joy that you write Dima honestly. I’d been eyeing your blog for a little bit before I made my own - and I was honestly a little scared of you when we started cause you are a GODDESS and I am a potato, but then we talked??? and you’re hilarious and a ridiculously kind person and I love you? And of course, I love your dog (the cutest in the universe).

@mythostold / LESLIE~  Different blog, same story~ Man, I’ve been following you since maybe day two of this blog being active? No matter which fandom you end up in and which muse you write, you have such!! good!!! takes!!! For one, I love reading your meta posts??? Like you’re just so incredibly passionate about your muses?? And your writing style is so good aaaaaaa it’s so atmospheric. And on top of all of that - you’re??? such a sweet and incredible??? person??? And I love talking to you boo <3 

@lifeawoke  /  NAT BBYSWEET <3 <3 <3  I have told the story of how I did a victory dance when you followed me to d e a t h probably but it’s t r u e your writing is amazing and your blog is amazing and y o u are amazing! You are the Natasha to my Sonya, and literally every time you send me a musing I’m like immediate-goofy-grin-heart-eyes???? It’s honestly a crime we don’t have more threads but like you’re an absolute joy to talk to and meme with and I adore you/your portrayal of beautiful bratty Natasha even if she drives my Sonya up the wall <3 You are Definitely the Funny Mutual lololol I crack up so much talking to you <3

@valianceearned / CARP you’re an amazing person/writer and holy h e c k am I impressed by your OCs!! They’re all so well thought out and developed? Your bios are so detailed and so much love and care is put into all of your characters. And your writing is so Lovely and it’s also very aesthetically lovely like holy heck the amount of work you put into both the content and the formatting? I am agog, I am aghast!! 

@gearsandlevers / Callie!!!!! YOU ROUND ALL THE CORNERS I STRAIGHTEN THE CURVES!! love your kids so much. Your Violet is a delightfully clever and likeable kid, your Evan might have literally walked off the stage two seconds ago, and you’ve put so much thought into your cinnabon stoner Henry. Your dialogue is amazing and I love our headcanon sessions lobbing ideas back and forth with you!! 

@spareisms / HEY MAGGIE GUESS WHAT YOU’RE WORTH MELTING FOR!!  You’re like the sweetest person alive??? How are you an Actual Real Life Disney Princess?? Your Anna is so well characterized and multi layered and I love how she an be so flawed but so brave and just how human she is. I’m very excited for your Anne Shirley too!! You’re a great writer (and a super sweet person aaaa) and I love you!! 

@gcneralvaganov /  Deanna, I have just one question: How? Have we only known each other for like 2 months???? It feels like my dash would literally be incomplete without you??  You play such deeply complex and incredibly flawed muses with such a great depth of respect and humanity. I love all of our AUs (we.....probably have a dozen by now), our long fix-canon tangents, and....look the inevitable conclusion to this whole thing is that we should....basically just write Anastasia tbh???  You’re incredibly funny and kind and talented and I’m so glad I yeeted myself into your IMs that first time 2 months ago! I love you, I love your muses, (Dima and Anya love their Dumb Boyfriend), and I love writing with you! 

@ncvaflows / ALEXA YOU ABSOLUTE LEGEND YOU. You??? Unlocked Ultimate AU Mode Ro and it’s like I c a n ‘ t stop?? First off, I cannot believe we literally own the same books and like the same barbie movies. How are we not literally the same person??  (Maybe w e ’ r e Anneliese and Erika lmao). Honestly from day 1 you’ve been so welcoming and lovely and I’m so glad we crashed into each other’s IMs yelling at top volume about random ya lit/movies/aus!! I adore literally all of your OCs (is everyone a b s o l u t e l y sure they’re not canon??? hmmmmm a Mystery)???? In the words of Li Shang, “You WRITE GOOD????” Anyway you’re amazing and I love you <3

WHILE IT’S DEFINITELY MY FAULT FOR BEING AN ANXIOUS BEAN WE REALLY NEED TO TALK MORE OFTEN CAUSE I LOVE YOU

@curtainrisen / Rebekah, dude, you’re a wonder. Your muses??? So diverse, and your voices for them? Super on the nose and amazing. I love your Helene and how human she is, and I really gotta toss more of my kids at you (Super excited for Duke!!). You’re real chill to meme with and I love talking/writing with you!!

@heartlosttravelers / Tor!! I love that you stan Raoul de Chagny So Hard ( the pure cinnamon roll boy deserves it honestly) and you’re super cool and great to talk to! All your muses are a m a z i n g and I always love the read when you pop up on my dash! 

@damerusse / Marie!! You’re hella chill. Your memes???? 10000000% actually legendary. Meming with you cracks me The Heck Up. Lily is forever the puppy dealer, that is all, thank you, gnight. Ok for real though - your Lily is pretty Legendary too and you really got all that Spark and Fire right down. You’re amazing, and I love stalking your threads on my dash!  

@lionhvrted / Fortune, my buddy my pal, we really be Out Here making Jane Austen plots even m o r e rom-com. Like. How did we manage that??? We might be literally magical lmao. We don’t have a ton of stuff going on at the moment but I love our dumb pining kids and I love the justice and humanity you give to your Caroline, and Fitzy loves his (future) wife.

@guvernantka / P R U E I already love our Exasperated Big Sis / Annoying Lil Sis / LITERALLY WHO EVEN ARE YOU YOU SMELLY DUMBASS LIL BRO IN LAW dynamic. You have the Best Sense of Humor (tm) and I’m always catching you when it’s like 12 in the morning here so I’m always cracking up silently in bed trying not to wake my roommies up. 

@anastcsie / I LOVE OUR ANGRY SMOL AND DIRTY TOL YOUNG-BUT-OLD MARRIED COUPLE AND THEIR OLDEST DAUGHTER NAMED MARIA ALREADY.  I love your Anya and how feisty and fiery she is (Dima, needless to say, loves his wife) and I love how chill (and hilarious!!) you are as a person. We do have a tendency to turn into angst monsters 24/7 but honestly that’s half the fun!! 

@asundrop / Polly!!!! ok so I know we haven’t really done anything w/ Raps (yet muahaha) BUT b o y was I hella excited when I found someone willing to yell about CDrama with me??? Thank you for being the Eternally Stoic/Always Annoyed Ancient God to my Tiny Dumb Fox Princess?? I love them and I love you (you’re hella cool) so there! 

@moretreasurewithin / KAAAATE goodness it’s only been a couple of days but I’m So Comfortable talking to you already? You’re just honestly really amazingly kind and I love screaming about Anastasia with you. We gotta get more going but I love your Dima and Maria Already (tm) and I love your sense of humor (here’s to torturing Dima with ties!!) and I can’t wait to get to know you better!

@annastrxng / AAAA somehow I managed to chat with you and then?? We never got anything going and it’s definitely mostly my fault cause of that High Anxiety (and also the fact that I got Immediately Busy) but you are literally So Nice and The Most Understanding and super great to talk to!! I hope we get something going in the future!! 

@soulcrossed / ROSE we have the same name I keep forgetting this lmao BUT ANYWAY. All your muses?? Amazing. You gotta throw more of them at me. Your Sophie?? Are you Actually Diana Wynn Jones in disguise?? I love our crazy au/headcanon sessions and I love/hate that you’re The Worst Enabler and I’m inevitably going to end up with the other two Hatter sisters on this blog lmao. 

I HAVEN’T TALKED TO YOU TON YET BUT HI!!! YOU SEEM CHILL!!

@alonecour / @steeledstark / @professor-of-predators / @sclskinn / @dulcettc / @volaticoux / @frxncaise / @argelfrasterr / @i-wrote-myway / @zharptiitsa / @villainsfall / @anyaromanovarp / @agoodandloyalrussian / @aliquisinter 

AND EVERY ONE OF Y’ALL AMAZING PEOPLE OUT THERE I’M ADMIRING SILENTLY FROM AFAR EVEN NOW BECAUSE I CHICKENED OUT OF TAGGING YOU LAST MINUTE CAUSE WHAT IF YOU’RE LIKE “LMAO WHO IS THIS WEIRDO TAGGING ME??” (p.s. this is 100000% permission to slide into my IMs/like a plotting call/etc. I honestly think y’all are hella cool and probably love you already)

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Star Crossed Rivalry: Part 5

Pairings: Opie x Reader (SOA/TWD MC AU Crossover ) Negan daughter!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, Fluff, Angst, Violence

Word Count: 4,211

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Look at my little chunker.” You cooed as you held your 9 pound 8 ounce, and twenty-one and a quarter inches long son in your arms. “My little chunky boy that ruined mommy’s pussy forever and ever…”

“Babe!” Opie laughed as he sat beside you on the bed, holding the two loves of his life in his arms. 

“You’re gunna be tall like your daddy.” You said as you laid your head on Opie’s chest with a smile you never thought was going to fade. “And just as handsome as him, too. You’re going to be a handsome little man, Hunter. I know it.”

“He has your nose, Mama.” Opie said as he smiled at the cooing boy in your arms. “And your smile…”

“No, that’s your smile, Daddy.” You said as you brushed your thumb across Hunter’s cheek as he looked up at you with Opie’s hazel eyes. “And your eyes. Fuck, could he be anymore perfect?”

“Not fucking possible.” Negan said as he knocked softly on your hospital room door with his knuckle. You smiled up at him as he held up a light blue stuffed teddy bear with a handmade Saviors kutte on it. “First fucking present.”

“You’re such a softy.” You said as you let Opie take Hunter from your arms. “Thank you, grandpa.”

“Fuck off.” He chuckled as he closed the room door behind him partially and tossed the bear on your bed. “Pop. That’s what I am.” You nodded your head and smiled as he carefully took his grandson from your fiancé. “Michonne and Rick are out in the waiting room. Same with Jax and Piney, who looks about as white as a fucking ghost.”

“That’s just Piney.” Ope said as he picked up the bear and put it in Hunter’s clear sided bassinet. “He’s always pale as fuck.”

“Told ‘em to wait until I made sure you were ready for company. And I wanted this little Satan spawn all to myself.”

“You’re an ass!” You laughed as he sat down on the couch that ran under the windows on the far side of the room.

“I hope, for your sake, he’s just as much as a fucking monster child as you were. Then you’ll see what your mother and I had to fucking deal with.”

“And just because you said that, he’s going to be a perfect little angel.” You teased with a smile. “Baby, can you hand me my make up bag? I’ll at least run a damn brush through my hair or something.”

“Damn, you were fucking right about this one.” Your dad said as he jostled your son the slightest bit. “This is one big fucking boy.”

“Will you leave him alone?” Opie laughed as he handed you your bag. “I packed that dress thing you were looking at in the store. The lady said it was the best thing during her hospital stay, and it was worth the money.”

“Oh my God, I fucking love you.” You said as you pulled the soft, pink wrap around nursing gown you had been kicking yourself all week for not buying out of your bag. You looked up at him with a happy pout as you held the dress to your chest. “Best fiancé ever.”

“I try.” He said as he came over to help you up out of bed so you could change in the bathroom. 

“You two are fucking disgusting.” Your dad said with a shake of his head. “Yea, your Mommy and Daddy are fucking disgustingly in love.”

“God, shut up.” You groaned as you stepped into the bathroom. “Get your baby love in fast, Pop. You’re about to have to share him with a whole lotta people.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were used to the Sanctuary being crowded for Halloween but no where like this. It was as if every member of every charter was there with their kids, ready to welcome the new Saviors Prince to the world. The moment you got out of your truck beside your fiancé with your carseat on your arm, the parking lot erupted into cheers.

“OK, OK!” You laughed as you held your hand up to silence the masses. “My kid is thankfully a quite baby, but I don’t want to test the theory!”

“I call dibs on the first helping of baby love.” Michonne said as she came over to you with a giant smile in her Princess Leia costume. “I love the spots.”

“Just wait for it.” You said as you set your car seat on the little stage. “Introducing Hunter Winston, my little chunkster puppy.” Michonne ‘aw’ed’ as you pulled back the blanket to show off your currently sleeping son, who you knew would wake up the moment he got picked up. “I should have made him a monkey so he’d be a chunky monkey.”

“Oh, that’d be too perfect.” She said as you unsnapped the carseat and carefully picked your three and a half week old son, up. His eyes flew open, and looked around as you carefully laid him down in the crook of Michonne’s arms.

“He’s an angel child.” You said as you grabbed his Dalmatian ear beanie out of your diaper bag to go with his onesie and the black eyeliner dot you drew on his and your noses. “He doesn’t really cry, he sleeps like four hours at a time at night, eats like a champ, obviously. But it’s still so much work.”

“We got lucky as hell.” Opie said with a nod as he handed you a bottle of water. “Even if Negan tried to curse us.”

“He’s beautiful, (Y/N).” She cooed as she offered Hunter her finger. He cooed back and wrapped his pudgy hands around her slender finger.

“Is this the future King biker?” Rick teased as he came over to say hi.

“Not happening.” You and Opie said simultaneously as he lit a cigarette for you and gently pulled you back away from your son by your spotted dress covered shoulder.

“We got him for a minute.” Michonne said with a smile as she passed off Hunter to her husband. “Take a smoke break. Go mingle for a bit.” You nodded your head as you took a long drag of your cigarette and glanced over at Maggie, who was coming over to say hi and get some baby love as well. You smiled at her and walked the couple feet over to her as Hunter was passed off to Carol next. 

“How are you two liking being parents?” She asked as she kissed your cheek.

“It’s a lot.” Opie chuckled as he grabbed a chair for you and Maggie from a near by crafts table. “Don’t get me wrong. We really do have an angel but I don’t think I have every worried about every little thing before in my life.”

“Poor Creature has no idea what to do with Hunter.” You chuckled. “And I’ve been keeping him in his bassinet not his crib because I’m too scared I won’t hear him downstairs…”

“OK, there’s nothing wrong with that.” Maggie chuckled. “Hershel stayed in a bassinet until he was six and a half months old. There is nothing wrong with that. And I know you have a baby monitor since I bought it for you. That one is super loud when you have it on. I could hear Hershel fart through it like he was sitting right next to me. What else?” You glanced at Opie, who you knew had a shit load of concerns neither of you wanted to ask your doctor out of embarrassment, before looking back at Maggie.

“OK, sometimes he wont latch on.” Opie nodded as he grabbed a chair for himself, and sat down beside you.

“Do you eventually stop worrying that he’s just gunna up and die?”

“Are we gunna turn into our parents?”

“Is there anything I can really do at night to help? I feel shitty just fucking laying there and watching her breastfeed.”

“And what about baby shots? I know we’re along way off, but these past three weeks has already flew by. Are they safe? Can your doctor spread them out more?”

“Ok, whoa.” Maggie laughed as she held her hand up to stop your rant. “Slow down, take a deep breath and let’s start from the beginning. Have you not talked to your doctor about this?” You shook your head, and looked over at Hunter as your dad showed him off to a few patches from the Orlando Florida charter.

“You know as well as I do how embarrassing some of this shit it.” You said as you reached into Opie’s firefighter’s jacket and grabbed his cigarettes since yours were in your diaper bag. “It’s easier to ask someone that’s family.”

“Alright.” She agreed as Carol came over to say hi as well. “We got a lot of mom’s here so we’ve got a lot of collective experience. Let’s start at the beginning…”

——

“He fall asleep?” Ope asked as you walked back into the main room after feeding your son, and getting him down for a nap. You nodded your head and pulled back the cloth of your carrier to show him Hunter.

“Fed, changed, and in jammies.” You said with a nod. “I probably should have wiped off his little nose before I breast fed but whatever.”

“You live and you learn.” He said as he leaned down to kiss his son’s forehead.

“Cops, cops, cops!” Ezekiel roared as he stuck his head in from outside. You didn’t hesitate in grabbing Opie’s hand, and yanking him down the hall you just came from.

“Where…?” He asked as you turned a corner, making sure you held Hunter to your chest so he wouldn’t jostle awake, and make noise in your haste. You shushed Ope as you turned into the president suite and shut the door behind you both.

“Help me with this. I need two hands to move it.” You said as you walked quickly over to a large mirror on the wall beside the bed. “The handle is right here, and it swings open.”

“Oh, shut up.” He said as he put his hand on top of yours to find the latch and the handle. “You have a secret door…”

“Yes, and if you move faster, we can be behind it before the cops come.” You said shortly as he pulled the door open. You dipped past him into the small surveillance room and started to flip switches to turn on the monitors for the cameras hidden around the factory.

“Does it lock?” Opie asked as he pulled the mirror back into place. You nodded and flipped another switch, sending three, unseen, stainless steel bolts from the back of the door into the wall to hold it in place. “Well fuck.”

“My dad made this room when we first bought the Sanctuary.” You said as you sent Negan a coded text to his personal line. “He and I are the only people who know it exist for this exact reason.”

“What does that mean?” He asked as he looked at the text.

“PR means panic room, and OH(i) are the three of our initials.” You looked up at the monitors at the main room of the club, where friends and family of the club were all laying face down on the floor. Feeling his phone ring in his kutte and knowing it was you, Negan looked directly at the hidden camera and closed his eyes in a long blink. With a sigh, you sat down in the computer chair and checked on your son, who was thankfully still fast asleep. “Swear to God this kid could sleep through a hurricane then a tornado before going to a football game.” Opie huffed as he sat down in your old beanbag chair with a sigh.

“Well I guess I can say thanks for loving me.” He chuckled as you watched the DEA, the ATF, and the local and state police executed a search warrant on the building. 

“You’re a goon.” You giggled as you watched family member after family member get put into cuffs, and carted out to the waiting transport vans. You sighed again as your dad was put in the back of the van as well, when a lone motorcycle pulled down the road toward the end of the road. “Son of a bitch.” You said as you sat up and expanded that view to take up one of the four monitors in the room.

“What the fuck is Clay doing here?” Opie asked as he got up and came over to get a closer look. You shook your head subtly as movement on the screen next to the one you were watching caught your attention. Your jaw dropped and you stood up slowly as you watched one of the DEA agents uncuff Dwight and let him walk away.

“Oh, you mother fucker.” You said as you minimized the screen with Clay to watch the long driveway. “Fuck, he’s a fucking rat.” You glanced over at Opie and the slight furrow of his brow before reaching up to tap the screen to explain. “The Saviors make a run six times a year for their product. Negan and Rick are the only ones who know the exact date but the run is almost always the week before Halloween. None of the other members know the exact date, they just come to town exactly a week before and wait until my dad tells them to wake up and go. But this year, because of Hunter, my dad pushed it.” You tapped Dwight’s head, wishing you could kill him in that moment, as he stood talking to Clay at the end of the road, not realizing that he had been made. 

“Dwight set this up with the Sons, not realizing my dad changed the date. Because usually, by now, this place is full with enough weed to put every single person in here away.” You both fell dead silent for a moment as the main room door flew open and a state officer and an AFT agent started to tear the room apart. You continued to shake your head and watch Dwight until the agents left the now destroyed bedroom and your upturned baby carrier and diaper bag.

“Is this recording?” Opie whispered as he watched Clay leave, and Dwight slink into the shadows. 

“Always.” You said with a nod as you turned in your chair to find a blank disc to make a copy of it for your dad. “You can’t say anything to anyone, baby.” You reminded him as you turned around to look at him. “Not even Jax. Not yet. We have to wait for my dad, first and we’ll move from there.” Opie sighed and nodded his head as he went back over and sat down on the bean bag.

“I know.” He breathed as he pulled off his scrubbed his hand down his face. “Fuck, I know.” You looked over at him, sorrowfully and shook your head.

“This is the down side to falling in love with the enemy, baby. I’m really, really sorry.”

“It’s not you, baby girl.” He said as he reached out for your hand. “It’s the beast that is our life. But I walked away from my club for a reason. And that reason is sitting in front of me, cradling my other reason to stay out.” You smiled weakly as he pulled on your hand until you got up from your chair. With a huff, you stood up and very carefully sat down so that he could hold both you and Hunter until all the cops left and it was safe to come out of the panic room.

“I love you, Ope.” You said as you laid your head on his shoulder and made sure Hunter was up right, not smooshed, and comfortably still sound asleep.

“I love you, too baby.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You been sitting here all night?” Your dad asked as he walked over from his house early the next morning. You picked your head up off the rocking chair and shook your head as you slowly pushed yourself back and forth.

“You know my MO, Daddy.” You said as you picked up the slightly cooled cup of coffee, and passed it off to him. 

“Thanks, baby girl.” He sighed as he flopped down in the rocker next to you. “Where’s Hunter?”

“Inside sleeping with Ope.” You said as you picked up your laptop, and hit the spacebar to wake it up. “We got a rat.” Negan’s brow furrowed as he put his coffee down, and took the laptop from you with a sigh. He hit play, and picked up his coffee again as you went back to rocking.

“Son of a fucking bitch.” He groaned as he watched the video. You nodded your head, and grabbed your coffee off the table. 

“Ope gets that we have to go after SAMCRO. I get it, too. It’s just…”

“He wants Jax, and his fucking dad out first.” Negan finished for you as he closed your laptop and leaned back in his rocker. “(Y/N), how fucking sure are you that they aren’t fucking part of this?”

“I’m not.” You said with a look over at him. “I have no fucking idea. But I trust my fiancé. And he trusts Jax and Piney. So I trust them enough to know that getting them out before you go in is worth something.” Negan nodded as he finished his coffee.

“Let me talk to Ope.” He said as he looked into his empty cup. “Fuck, you need to teach Frankie how to fucking make coffee.”

“No.” You said before you finished your cup, looked at the time on your phone, and took your laptop and empty coffee mugs back. “Ope will be up any minute. Go shower, though. You smell like jail.”

“You’re such a pleasant little fucker in the mornings.” Negan said as you both got up and headed in different directions.

“I get from you.” You called out over your shoulder as you walked in to your living room just as Opie was coming down with your whining son. “I got him, baby.” He nodded his head as he continued down the stairs almost in a daze.

“Did you sit out there since four?” He asked as he waited for you to put what was in your hands, down. You nodded your head as you took Hunter from his arms.

“I worry about him, you know?” You said as you walked around the couch and sat down while pulling up one of Opie’s wife beaters that you slept in to feed your son. “He has no one else but me, and Frankie is so self involved she wouldn’t know her ass from her elbow when it comes to anything of use.” You looked up at him as he stepped out on to the back porch to let Creature out, and stood just outside the door so he could smoke his morning cigarette. “Someone’s gotta take care of him, Ope. He does so much for everyone else…”

“I know, baby.” He said with a nod. “I don’t blame you on that. Just… well, next time, can you sit inside the house, and wait like a normal person does?”

“Opie, you and I both know I am no where near fucking sane, thank you.”

“True.” He agreed with a smirk. You flipped him off as Creature walked past him back into the house, and trotted over to join you on the couch. You said hi to him as he walked in a circle twice before curling up into a ball against your hip, and going back to sleep with a snort.

“Dad wants to talk to you.” You informed your husband as he kicked the rock aside and came back into the house. “He’ll probably be back over for breakfast if you wanna jump in the shower. I’ll do French toast, bacon, and eggs for breakfast when Hunter finishes.”

“Sounds like a plan.” He said as he came over and gave you an upside down, chaste kiss. “Good morning, baby.”

“Good morning, my love.”

——

Opie and Negan sat across from each other at your dinner table, the former watching your son in his vibrating baby swing that he loved so much, and scolding Creature when he tried to crawl up in the seat to cuddle with ‘his’ baby like he so desperately wanted to. Negan watched his grandson, trying to figure out exactly how he wanted to word his questions, while you made breakfast.

“I need you to be fucking honest with me, Opie.” He started as he ran his middle ringer around the rim of his coffee mug. “Brutally fucking honest.” You and your fiancé both looked over at him as he pulled his brown eyes away from his grandson and up to Opie. “Say (Y/N) and Hunter are kidnapped tomorrow…”

“Dad!” You shrieked but he held his hand up to stop you, refusing to take his eyes off your fiancé.

“You and I are killed in the fight. Who in SAMCRO do you fucking trust, without a fucking shadow of a doubt, with their lives.” Your fiancé sat up straight, confused and stunned at the question.

“Jax.” He said after a moment with a slight nod of his head. “He’d raise Hunter as his own, watch out and take care of (Y/N). But he wouldn’t walk away from the Sons to do it. The club is his fucking life. I do know though, that he and Clay have completely different opinions on the club’s path. Which is why I can say my old man, and a guy named Chibs would be on that list as well. He and Piney would side with Jax any day of the fucking week. The rest of the club…” He sighed as he ran his fingers through his loose, shoulder length hair. “The rest of the fucking club are loyal to the club. Which means they’re loyal to whoever sits behind that gavel.” Negan nodded his head slowly as you walked over two full plates, and set them down on the table.

“So who do you think is the fucking mastermind behind last nights bullshit?” He asked as he pulled his plate in front of him but didn’t touch it otherwise. 

“That’s got fucking Clay all over it.” Opie said as you came over to top of their coffee mugs, and set your plate down. “Clay is a conniving monster. He’ll sign his fucking soul to the fucking devil if it meant keeping his president patch. If I had to venture a guess, he was the one that made a fucking deal with ATF after your guy found him. I’d say his fucking right hand, Tig had something to do with that shit, too. Fucker hates me.” Negan nodded again as he picked up his coffee mug and took a drink, buying his time to really think his next question through.

“You didn’t turn your fucking back on my daughter, did you?” He asked seriously, hating that he even hard to.

“Never.” Opie said as you growled at your dad around a mouth full of French toast and freshly cut strawberries and banana slices. “She’s the love of my life, my future wife, and the mother of my son. I’d lose every fucking appendage I have then take a fucking bullet before I betrayed her. And that means you as well, since you’re her father. Betraying you hurts her, and I will be no fucking part of that.” Negan nodded his head again, and finally picked up his fork, apparently satisfied with Opie’s answers.

“Call the three. You two are getting married.” Negan said as he gestured toward the swing with his fork. “And get the fucking dog out of the fucking swing.” You and Opie both looked over at Hunter, who was still sound asleep, and Creature, who had managed to crawl up half way on the chair with his back legs and right leg hanging off the edges, and fell asleep so that his body was just barely touching Hunter, but his head was resting protectively above Hunter’s little head.

“Oh, my God that’s the cutest fucking thing.” You said as you got up to grab your phone from the counter.

“Cute or not, he can’t be up on the swing.” Opie said as he finally cut into his own French toast.

“Oh, he’s fine.” You said as you took a few pictures. “It’s his baby, too.”

“Don’t start that shit again, babe.” Opie said around a mouthful of food. “He’s a dog.” You turned around, and stuck your tongue out at Opie with a small sneer.

“They are brothers, and the faster you accept that, the happier I will be.”

“I had the same fight with her mother about our fucking mutt.” Negan said as he purposely kept his eyes down on his plate. “I fucking lost.”

“You’re not fucking helping.” Opie said as you sat back down with a giant smile.

“So when are our sons walking us down the aisle?”

“Shut up, (Y/N)!” Opie snapped as Negan snorted a laugh.

Part 6

[blundergato]

beni-o2 replied to your post: the hype for infinity war feels really artificial...

Best thing about Japan: 0 hype about American movies.

must be nice. seriously.

infinity war just feels manufactured or maybe im really THAT over superhero movies.

out of all 2.5 million marvel movies theres like...3 really good ones, a couple decent ones and a whole lot of detritus. so this “big” crossover movie that includes a whole lot of average into one movie makes me feel almost nothing.

i read the spoilers already and it made me feel even less. ive already suffered through enough superhero movies with bad action scenes and dated cgi, i dont need to suffer through another one.

this makes me sound real jaded, but i also saw Shape of Water a few months ago and realized what an actual good movie with good writing is and im constantly watching martial arts movies, so i feed myself good action, I DONT NEED THIS JUNK.

[sapphicdalliances]

Dear Chocolatier,

thank you so much for being here!! my sincere apologies for the lateness and messiness of this letter! sorry about my incredibly inconsistent capitalisation! it has been updated on the 9th of january.

I’m a simple bitch with simple tastes; here is a general summary of my preferences, and fandom-specific notes and prompts can be found further down!

I very much enjoy:

Fics that are short, but imply a longer, deeper verse; since this exchange is for short fics, but some of my prompts seem expansive, I just want to give you carte blanche permission to dip into an AU, splash around in it, and simply not provide additional details.

Comedic tones, slice-of-life, lighthearted fun, any amount of improbable romcom tropes

Am also on board with misunderstandings and drama as long as there is a happy ending!

I’m deeply okay with AUs, and most likely would be down for any modern, romcom, fantasy/fairytale, gender swap, or remix/crossover AUs you feel inspired to explore! My favourite settings include mundane/urban fantasy (witches! werewolves!), anachronism-stew-with-magic western fantasy jumbles, and disney’s Tangled.

Writing tropes I love:

Proposal fic

Wedding fic where the couple getting married is not the main couple

Outsider/third character POV of the main couple

Exes who are still in love/getting back together

Friends-with-benefits-with-feelings/did a bad job keeping it casual

Shipfic where two or more couples are contrasted

Oblique declarations of love/saying i love you without saying i love you

Provision and caretaking (acts of service!)

Aggressive matchmaking/wingmanning by an enthused friend

Hanahaki, or any other improbably dramatic instances of Cannot Spit It Out

Arranged marriage/fake marriage/fake dating

Epistolary fic

Regrettably I also love a/b/o, especially the kind that emphasises on scent safety and contains little to no actual sex

Art tropes I love, if you offered art:

Art where the characters look kind and fond

Fashion remixes – street fashion, cultural/traditional clothes, festival clothes, renfaire-esque clothes, beach photoshoot, get wild with it

Putting animal characteristics on one or both of them

Botanical motifs + celestial motifs

When plants grow directly out of people

The thing where character A is focused on something they’re doing or seeing, and the character B is focused only, wholly, desperately on A. please… the Gaze

Depictions of intimacy where faces are partially or fully hidden, but the body language is gentle

Characters SLEEPING next to each other, or comfortably doing separate activities in each other’s presence

If you wish to get frisky with your fills:

Yes!

Go for it!

I don’t have strong top/bottom preferences (and enjoy it when they switch or are otherwise generally equitable) so whatever you’re in the mood for is fine!

Kink tropes I very much enjoy include oral, restraints, praise kink, when proud characters cry during sex because they love their partners so much, and xeno tropes.

I love non-horny sex scenes; comedic, silly, charged, fraught, or simply affectionate exchanges that happen to include sex are my favourite. Feelings are the real kissing disease.

But like, if you wanna get horny about it.

Chase your bliss.

They simply must be in love.

I’m not as into:

Kidfic

First person narration

Soulmate AUs specifically

Kink wise, my only major squicks are incest, teacher/student, and public sex/getting caught, but i’m also not super keen on daddy kink, blood/piss/etc, or anything with blades or needles.

In general, please avoid:

Character death or serious/permanent injury

Animal abuse or death

Infidelity

Hopeless or downer endings

Fandom specific info:

Wotakoi

I love that this series has three couples in different stages of a relationship: one who’ve been together for years and love each other like well-worn grooves; one who have history but have only just recently begun a relationship and are discovering each other anew; and one who probably will not bring themselves to share a kiss for another 27 calendar years.

Narumi/Hirotaka: Honestly, the main couple of a series usually goes over my head a bit, but the more i thought about these two the more wretchedly fond of them I became. The thing I think of the most is how Narumi taught him how to smile as a child; how she did things that meant nothing to her, so easily does kindness come, but that meant so much to him; and how now that they are grown, he does things for her that take no effort, but shake her foundations. I think theirs is a love that grows quietly; something that cannot change the world, but can change them.

Koyanagi/Kabakura: My thoughts on these two are not complex, but they are deeply positive. I love how huge their personalities are, and how they fit around and against each other; I love the implication that despite their endless bickering, they are not an on-again-off-again kind of relationship, and have instead chosen each other over and over again for ten straight years. I love that despite everything, they are kind to each other, first and foremost; they find ways to apologise and to take care of each other, and treat each other gently in private.

Kou/Naoya: I love every ship in this manga equally but perhaps I love Kou/Naoya more equally than the other two? They are just so kind and so silly, and so sweet to each other in exactly the way both of them didn’t realise they were missing. I think about Naoya being told that Kou is “okay with being alone”, and realising that “okay with it” and “have accepted it” are different, and taking his little baby steps to fix it. I think about Kou giving Naoya every last drop of patience he’s trained himself not to accept, and doing so because it simply makes her happy. My only concern is that they are both bottoms. I don’t have a solution for this.

suggested prompts, fic:

- accidentally dating ft. Kou and Naoya, or, “and you’ve made out how many times now? Hmm. Yeah, that’s not technically a bromance.” - 5 times Hirotaka and Narumi almost, almost kissed, and 1 time they did; the unresolved romantic tension may kill me and it would be worth it - what Hirotaka and Narumi taught each other (apart from the more mundane gaming and life skills, i believe that she taught him how to smile and be loved by others, and he taught her how to be loved by herself!) - smutty domesticity ft. Koyanagi and Kabakura — a lazy Sunday, laundry in the sun, fucking on the couch, everything easy with familiarity - (addendum to above: pegging)

suggested prompts, art: - festival clothes - someone's getting married - naoya: *hands kou a tangerine* *hands kou a tangerine* *hands kou a tangerine* *hands kou a tangerine* *hands kou a t - red string of fate motifs

Or please do remix it with any of my general tropes listed above!

Nezha (2019)

So, wow, Nezha and Aobing are in love maybe? It drives me nuts to think about these two extremely powerful and extremely lonely boys finding each other by happenstance and instantly giving to each other something they’ve never had before. Sometimes you live most of your life without the presence of the other half of your literal soul and when you find him it’s like discovering true happiness for the first time, and that’s valid? Some people brazenly sacrifice themselves for the chance to spend a last moment with their soulmate to cope??

suggested prompts: - modern AU: delinquent Nezha and prim, proper exchange student Aobing - modern AU addendum: nobody believes Nezha when he says he’s got a hot boyfriend in Taiwan and thinks that he has made Aobing up - pwp with xeno tropes? yeah

suggested prompts, art: - lesbians AU. lesbians AU. AU where they are lesbians now. - mer aobing. mer aobing. AU where aobing is a mer-dragon now - KISSING - pwp with xeno tropes, again

Or please do remix it with any of my general tropes listed above!

Otoyomegatari

im skipping this section for now because i checked and im literally the only one who offered it. you’re not here to feed me otoyomegatari, and that’s fine.

Fire Emblem: Three Houses

i haven’t, uh, played this game? and i have not, in fact, watched anyone else play this game. but really, i don’t know that fire emblem is a thing you understand with your mind so much as it is a thing you feel with your soul. and i feel that ferdinand and hubert are in love.

fandom specific DNW: i am not a huge fan of how the game handled its fantasy racism, so if you could sort of avoid that whole situation, that’d be great. literally would love an AU where ingrid and hilda aren’t racist.

Ferdinand/Hubert: THEY LIKE EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND IT’S SO VERY EMBARRASSING FOR BOTH OF THEM, just terrible, i can barely bring myself to look upon it. An important part of their rls to me is that they both have other things they value far more than each other, on an intrinsic, instinctive level; it does not make them love each other less, just differently. They are both so very dramatic in different, equally stupid, ways. ferdinand has one dimple in his right cheek, emits UV rays when he smiles, and loves horses and singing. hubert is sexy but in a way mostly reminiscent of the empty shed skin of a venomous spider. together, they fight classism

Dimitri/Dedue: like this

Dimitri: I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for you Dedue: I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for YOU [5 years of soulful gazes and dimitri making increasingly drastic and ineffectual attempts at seduction]

Hilda/Claude + Hilda/Claude/Lorenz: the sex is good. the statecraft? even better. i love trios where all 3 characters love each other equally.

suggested prompts: - ferdinand and hubert making bare skin-on-hair contact and immediately bursting into flame - dedue: your highness, let me teach you how to garden. dimitri, internally: oh, to be a speck of wet soil clinging to the warm, calloused skin of dedue's hands! - gee claude, how come your mum lets you have TWO tops? - hilda, strapping it on: urgh you're making me WORK

suggested prompts, art-specific: - outfit swaps ALWAYS fun - modern AUs also always fun - horse

Or please do remix it with any of my general tropes listed above!

Haikyuu!!

changed my life, cured my depression, what can be said about it? fwiw i am completely caught up with the manga and indeed to remain caught up for the duration of this exchange so nws about spoilers; of course i am also happy if you want to play around earlier in the timeline!

suggested prompts: - kagehina or iwaoi dealing with LDR - kyouhaba are forced to cooperate on an innocuous, preferably wholesome task, such as gardening, or finding the owner of a lost dog, and it goes, As One Would Expect - bokukuroo + overheard phone conversation: and you've slept together how many times now? hmm. yeah, that's not technically a bromance (not in a no-homo way, just in a we-are-both-so-stupid-and-like-each-other-so-much-way) - actually that overheard phone conversation would work for any of these ships

suggested prompts, art-specific: - put some wings on some of them. now it's bird romance, which is for birds - (i lied, this isn't art-specific at all, wingfic is always welcome in any of its forms) - just pick up your whole boyfriend and carry him like that. give the smooch.

Or please do remix it with any of my general tropes listed above!

Ace Attorney

i laughed for 2 straight minutes about there being no klapollo in the noms but this is fine, narumitsu is good. a thing I think about a lot re: narumitsu is that they are one of those love stories where, like, yes they’re in love. that’s not the problem. no matter what conflicts arise, or for what reasons they cannot be together, the fact that they are in love, and choose to remain in love, is never even doubted. i just really want to assert that i do not personally believe that miles nor phoenix have ever done anything on purpose in their lives except continue to be in love with each other.

suggested prompts:

- proposal fic - wedding fic - attending-a-wedding fic (gumshoe & maggey, before they're married? apollo and klavier, after they're married? franziska and adrian? not terribly picky on the background couple here!) - wedding night fic and they're both 35 so just, honestly, the back pain - honeymoon fic - also anything from when they were little, standalone or in conjunction with/comparison to their adult lives!

suggested prompts, art-specific: - so what if phoenix is a liddol hedgehog and miles is a cat in a cravat. just a thought.

Or please do remix it with any of my general tropes listed above!

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-Kun

seowaka: they are idiots, and they like each other very much, but they do not know. i love a tall crying boy and his short but much more powerful girlfriend.

chiyo/nozaki + chiyo/nozaki/mikorin: im rooting for her in the face of such overwhelming stupidity. one himbo is difficult enough to seduce but two. chiyo is a hero and a woman of rare courage. i like the pair and the trio equally; again, if you go with trio, it’s important that they all love each other please!

suggested prompts: - 5 times any of these ships went on a date without realising, and the time they realised - urban fantasy AU where Waka is a hapless monster hunter and Seo is an annoying but deeply harmless werewolf who’s been terrorizing his town?? - fairytale AU where Seo believes she must rescue the prince from the tower and deliver him back to the kingdom capital, and the prince, who had not realised he’d been kidnapped, thinks Seo is a usurper from a rival kingdom who must be supervised all the way back to the kingdom capital to be served her justice

suggested prompts, art-specific: - festival clothes… - nozaki carrying chiyo, who's carrying mikorin - (seo carrying waka) - waka sleeping peacefully in seo's presence… :'(

Or please do remix it with any of my general tropes listed above!

we made it through all the fandoms.

Thank you for making it to the end of this whole disaster; I hope at least one of the prompts sparked joy! The most important thing to me is that whatever you end up doing, you are able to enjoy the process at least somewhat, and deliver a creation that you like! I can also be found on twitter at @hawberries_ (for art) and @popplioikawa (for general ramblings). If you need some more inspo, I recommend going through my art tags for the selected ships because I put a lot of Opinions into my fanart.

[artstarstv]

Headbanging Sculptures: An Interview with Mimosa Pale

Wandering Shocks at Art Fair Finland, 2017 photo Neo Aarnikotka

Mimosa Pale is unlike any other artist you know. The Finnish performance artist brings sculpture to life through colorful materials, dance and artworks inspired by the carnival, jazz and old fashioned side shows. You might have heard of her hat shop Himo, where she sold handcrafted hats she made in the Berlin’s district of Neukölln (long before it became hipster paradise). That’s not all. Pale has also created technicolor, headbanging sculptures in Helsinki, leafblowed a public monument she covered in fringes and once even created a Marie Antoinette-style headpiece made of shot glasses. 

As she gears up for a book she is making with Justyna Koeke about Tinder dating in the forest, she’s also looking forward for the Stamp Festival in Hamburg, as well as an exhibition at Hilsbach Kunst & Kultur and a performance in The Hot Box. In the meantime, Pale spoke to us about carnival culture, hat-making and recycling for land art sculptures.

Wandering Shocks 2017, photo Lisabi Fridell

There is a great crossover between art and fashion in your work, where does it all come from?

Mimosa Pale: Well, actually I was never so interested in fashion, but more in masquerade! the idea to make my hatshop himo was out of the wish to have an art studio, where people, just anybody could pop in and have a reason to be there. I think people often have a fear to encounter art, as its  traditionally placed on a pedestal or golden frame. So Himo was my studio and a performance space and it was disquised as a hatshop. it had an himo-rosa velvet sofa and a little stage. but the most amazing thing for me was that people believed in my hatshop from the first moment. They came with their hat problems and surprisingly I was able to help them with  "turn it upside down and it looks great" mentality. This led to my real interest in millinery and I started taking courses in hatmaking. but in short: I wanted to combine performance art and sculpture in my hatstore, so I felt most succesful when a person came in and bought a hat, and would go out of the shop with a sculpture on their head creating  street life performance.

Mimosa Pale, Blow, Streetlevel Festival, Helsinki, 2015, photo Antti Ahonen

Why is a DIY approach important to your practice?

I think it has to do with my desire for borderless art. Art is for everybody, and everybody who wants can make it. The more people are encouraged to make art, the more interesting the world becomes. More people practicing self-realization in the form of art reduces stress and anxiety, makes you happier. so maybe it can be described as a social approach to art.

How does the history of costume influence your work?

I’m interested in carnevalism, and in the effects it has on people practicing it. Now that I’m in an artist in residency in Horb am Neckar and there is a vast culture in carneval, which is called "Schwäbisch-Allemanische Fasnet" . I have entered a fools guild just to study this whole thing.  We are carrying the "Häs" with a wooden mask, each weekend between january and march we go parading in an other town scaring the audience or throwing candy to them... and we meaning about 3000 fools from different villages. Its quite a blast! 

Mimosa Pale, Blow, Streetlevel Festival, Helsinki, 2015, photo Antti Ahonen

You really know how to create an atmosphere full of imagination, is your starting point playfulness?

To me, the performances have to make sense somehow. I guess I have a certain kind of logic there but maybe it comes across as something else! for example I just made a performance in Munich where I tried to transform myself into a living diamond. It kind of makes sense, doesnt it?! Who would’nt want to be a diamond? At the same time the visual aspect of an idea is very important; its part of the way an idea is transmitted.

You made feminist art before it was trending, what can you tell us about why the Mobile Female Monument counteracts the history of male, phallic sculpture?

The fact is that there are many sculptures in the history of art that are made by men, are huge, and are phallic. Mobile Female Monument encounters them being soft and mobile and as a place to go inside.  

I call myself a feminist and I’m often being labeled as a feminist artist but I still want to say that this work is more intuitive than its political (that there is more to it). It celebrates the vulva, carnivalizes it, lets everybody touch itself, invites people to create their own little spontaneous performance around it.  At that time I was interested in Commedia dell arte forms of present day, side shows and performance art’s borders. Naturally pissed off by the omnipresence of sex in the advertisements of this ostensibly sexually liberated society, I was curious to see what happens when the taboo is performed exaggerated in the bright daylight. I had to find something where people would stop without me having to stop them;  At the same time the work was personal: what is my sexuality, where is it going, it seems to be evolving. These are, I believe, universal thoughts. Yet there is not so much talk about it; and that’s where it I guess became interesting: showing something that everybody is thinking of.  

Mimosa Pale, Foliage 2018, photo Oona Heleena

Why did you want to do Foliage with your artist group, Wild Angelicas? 

I wanted to create more wearable sculptures, and I always have this feeling of discrepancy between sculpture and performance art. In this I made one piece for a tree and one for humans. I like the contradiction in the idea, being in a foliage one usually wants to hide, the reflecting fabric makes one extremely visible though. It was made in the time of #metoo debate, and I had the Story of Daphne in the back of my head. Feeling ill about the abuse on women and yet being relieved that something is changing.

What are the Wandering Shocks and why are they so fun? How do they interact with each other and the public?

The Wandering Shocks (shock is apparently another word for haystacks) are  performance sculptures (made of baking paper). They can visit a festival, or a gallery or just walk on the street; it always works! People love them! If there is music they dance, if not they still dance or do the headbanging. Sometimes they also just stand and people next to them forget there is a human inside. They interact with the public in a silent, friendly way. Its a fun way to bring art somewhere where its not been expected. They are sometimes mistaken for an advert (for example IKEA had something similar recently)...this reflects how people think nowadays.

Mimosa Pale: Foliage 2018

What was the goal of your piece Blow? It seemed to have some rock/metal undertones?

Do you mean the one where I decorated the public monument with fringes and was blowing it with the leaf blower? Im interested in how we perceive public art, monuments, its interesting how these become part of our daily life.  Also I think these monuments, and also our perception need airing from time to time. Decorating a monument changes the daily stage setting for a short time but I believe it can have inspiring effects on people for a long time.

Maternal Bio Power Plant (2014)

Where do you get your materials? How do you feel about recycling?

Good question! I wish I was the fair trade organic artist, but I’m not! When I’m sad about this I tell myself: I’m just a very very small artist... My best work material-wise was the Maternal Bio Power Plant (2014), a land art sculpture which was made of 170 tons of bulls manure. It was a huge breast, that also was functioning as a bio gas collector, built for an art exhibition taking place on a field. After the exhibition the farmer would just spread the 170 tons of manure as fertilizer on the field. At that time, I was breastfeeding and the breast was the most important organ of the daily life! It was quite funny really how I was working a month on the field covered with this shit (it was a rainy summer) and would now and then get a call from the house to run up to feed the baby. The stripping off the scum became almost like a ritual: in order to stay clean it had to be done carefully despite the urgency.

Performance in the exhibition "Stage" by Jukka Rusanen, Helsinki Contemporary, 2014, with Mimosa Pale and Joakim Berghäll, photo Mikaela Lostedt

What is your approach to performance art?

Performance art was one of the first art forms I started doing passionately and it has been an important part of my work. I think performance art is a very difficult form of art to work on continuously. I do now understand why most people are performance artists in their youth and stop doing it when getting middle aged. It is a direct, immediate, energetic, demanding art form. It requires extremely lot of energy if you want to regenerate your work every time. So doing an in-between thing seems to suit me personally. A bit of Sculpture, performance, music, head pieces... in a way I’m happy there is a form of art where I can combine all these things.

Who are your greatest influences in terms of art, fashion and culture? 

I’m a fan of Niki de Saint Phalle and the Nouveau Realistes, Meat Warlop, Meg Stuart.

Performance in the exhibition "Stage" by Jukka Rusanen, Helsinki Contemporary, 2014, with Mimosa Pale and Joakim Berghäll, photo Mikaela Lostedt

What do you try to communicate with your performance art?

I want to keep my work intuitive and I really try hard to stay truthful to myself and create a socially interesting atmosphere. I try to create a situation where people start communicating, not with me necessarily, but with the surrounding or within themselves.  Sure it varies from piece to piece, the location and venue effect greatly. but as a performance artist I’m aware that I’m taking peoples time, and as it is something so valuable in our world, I try to make the moments they spend watching me profitable! I was thought at art school that performance art is always going towards death. but in my opinion it can be far from it; away with the painful notion of performance art, the self suffering, vomiting artist sorting emotional crisis on stage. I wish my performance can be healing, entertaining, funny, interesting, empowering.

Where do performance art and sculpture intersect for you?

A sculpture is seldom enough for me as it is. !t needs some action! and that is very simply, where my sculptures intersects performance art. A humans size, My size, the body is in relation to the surrounding architecture, landscape, heaven, cosmos. This is what gives it already the frame: we are here on the planet in this size; what can we do? The truth is, my ideal sculpture is moving or changing or evolving.... I'm seldom content with an object that doesnt move! This applies to people and animals too !! So if I was good at engineering I propably would be making kinetic art. But as Im not into that, Me myself I’m the motor for my sculptures and thats what keeps me doing performance art.

What did you learn the most about making couture hats for your HIMO hat shop in Berlin?

I learned that selling hats is a difficult art of its own!  I learned how hard it is to make so many things in the same time; like producing head pieces, selling them, being present, making performances. The Himo time was a great time, I met many interesting people, having a shop makes you visible even in a big city like Berlin, and so I had the opportunity to work with people from fashion, theatre and music.  

What shows or exhibitions do you have upcoming? What are you currently working on?

I’m currently working on new sculptural work, its going to be art in public. I’m also working on a book with Justyna Koeke about Tinder dating in the forest. I’m also looking forward for the Stamp festival in Hamburg, an exhibition in Hilsbach Kunst & Kultur and a performance in The Hot Box.

Mimosa Pale, Study on Carpets, 2014