#im jokin tho this is all for funnies

[dhmis-autism]

keep seein ppl give duck joke heights that are literally my height bro help

[todayisafridaynight]

Snap. Aoki plush. You can finally dunk him in milk

PLEAAAASE I WAS JUST ABOUT TO COME ON HERE AND POST ABOUT ITTTTTT

[dozingzzz]

YALL

the first tickle moment ive had in yearsss happened today HENDBNDD it was tiny but omg in putting it under a cut cus imma be RAMBLIN

okok so. im sitting in the library doing some history work n whatnot yk reading my textbook and taking notes and my friends (ill call them o and j) come back from their class and come sit by me and are just doing work and messing around jokin around j can never be serious for 10 seconds lmfao

but yk i go back to my work, occasionally j says something to o that im like wtf what are you talking ab lmfao?? and go back to my work just back n forth for a lil while and then

all of a sudden

j traces their finger down my back and im like

??!?!??!!?? and squirm away so hard and j LAUGHS. they knew what they were doing fs. but omg lately ive been doubting like am i actually ticklish? no more doubt not for my back thats for sure. like. it was so weird its been so long since ive felt that it was just so HDNDHND??

j does the same thing to o who has a very minimal reaction and then was like "i did that to [irl name] did you see they reacted so funny" and im just like BDNDVDMHEJDBDN DEAD but just go liek "dont. do that." CUS IM SO NERVOUS and go back to work to not bring attention to it cus AAAA and its all i can think about the rest of the time they're there and was a lil nervous theyd do it again but they didn't

but like

J WHYYYYYYY BROO it was so weird its such a funny feeling like i didn't even mean to move i just did like knee-jerk reaction hdndhdndb

losing my mind

im so glad it wasn't more violent tho cus last time a friend did somthin like that to me was in middle school and i kneed my desk and it was super loud and i really dont wanna bring that attention to myself in the super quiet library HDMDBDM

it. was fun fine ill admit it but AAAAAAAAA and maybe yeah I hope j does it again but BDNSHDNDBND?!?!??!??!! im losing it

it was so weird its such a silly feeling i lowkey forgot

ty for coming to my ted talk

[tuskicles]

i'm not into burping like that, but seeing as you are, thought i'd share a lil sumn😌

lately, as in like the last month or so, my bf has releasing absolute belches in my face whenever he feels like it, in like a jokey sort of way. i play along and pretend to be disgusted by it- i'm like indifferent to it lmao, maybe because i'm so attracted to him gross shit like that doesn't phase me? (pretty boys who are nasty>>>>)

but anyway, yeah the way he's been like shamelessly burping like an inch away from my face, even if we're in front of our friends he does it to me unapologetically lmaoo; even if it's a smaller burp he makes sure to push it out close to me to draw a reaction from me (but most of the time they are the loud thick ones)

oh might as well tell you ab him farting in front of me for the first time too lmaooo

the first time we were on facetime actually, he was in the middle of talking, explaining something to me i can't remember what and then i just heard this high pitched squeaky sound that lasted like 5 seconds. i just assumed it was something else, but when he stopped talking and like smiled slightly it was obvious it was a fart😭😭 it was pretty funny and he wasn't that embarrassed about it, as he continued speaking soon after like nothing happened.

the second time was at my house,, we were chilling on my bed a bit after eating dinner (which is why he was so gassy ig). we were watching some movie i think and then that same similar high pitched fart broke the silence. i then ofc laughed and teased him about it and he was also laughing but kinda shrugged it off like "what?? its just a fart" type of thing

anywayy sorry this ask is so long💀💀 hope you've enjoyed it though,, would love to be mutuals so we can dm about how hot gassy men are and talk about scenarios (which i might even write) bc i need to like rant with someone abt it lmaoo

If i had a man that pretty to do those things to me I'd probably be so happy 😭😭😭 like im starting to get more of into burps again and for some reason the thought of like- a guy burping in someones face just to annoy them is pretty damn hot to me and I don't know why.

Tho- I definitely understand that you aren't into that sort of thing. I'm kinda picky about it but 👁👄👁 man it's something else imo. Also any pretty boy that is nasty has my heart bc good god I love m e n that are attractive and gross HAHA

Normally if a guy I like or love (if we are like friends or dating) rips ass I'd get flustered or super blushy but I play it off by playfully ripping on him (not in a rude way ofc! Just jokin around kinda sense yknow)

And no ur asks can be as long as you want them to be!! Im all ears and im welcome to chat at almost anytime about gassy men and whatever in general 😭😭😭 i need more gas friends anyways so I honestly don't blame you LMAO

[jessiesjaded]

Generally speaking I really don’t have a specific character type that ends up my favourite but I have just been sitting here thinking about my favourite ships and while not a direct 1 to 1 correlation between them all.... Boy howdy Is There A Theme

[jrueships]

Tell us how ur writing is going!! Only if you want to ofc

Oh- you know.

It's uh. It's goin-

LMFAO IM JOKIN let me get yall upadaaaated...

SO ABOUT SPIDAMAN DONOVAN/ROYCE... Listen.. it has WORK done. It just needs MORE. 10K+ words rn.. cleaned up a bit but NOT YET DONE!!!! I wrote on it some but like! I can't write a ship for TOO long or I get burnt out on the dynamic and run out of good inspo+descriptive ideas for it SO I sometimes switch ships and start writing for smthin different so I don't get burnt out on writing! Also sometimes the new written ships help give me inspo for the older ones via comparison so!!!

UHHH but what I like MEAN tho is... currently the donny/royce fic is in its soft and funny stage!! Which is cute n all but I don't wanna overdo the cheesiness through burnt out writing so!!! I started writing angstier/cruder/meaner??? ships to ride a new energy!

So far I started like??? Four wips LMAO. Just to write out a different energy and test things out but!!!

1. John/trae drunk homophobic homosexual *** LMAO uhhhh I have an ask about my [redacted] thoughts on john/trae I still need to answer so I'll elaborate on that wip LAAATER 😭 even tho rn the idea sounds embarrassing af wtf I need to get normaler and go to a bank or smthin

2. Brad/john jealousy angst specifically about This image

It's really bitter and biting. John ends up saying something along the lines of "I wasted my best years on your worst ones." To bradley and they like. Have a legit fight so... YEAH LMAO... is tuff.

3. Victor/myles hate*** fic .... p*rn with feelings but those feelings are really tense and afraid to be spoken aloud so ... 😔 written after vic got traded to Houston. Victor wants to act like problems are meant for the past and myles wants to act like problems are persistent and they clash..

4. Kyle/demar where they're at a bar waiting for Jimmy butler to arrive so they can hang out and talk. A drunk guy laughs at demar's tattoos. Kyle punches him. Hell breaks loose.

BUT YEAH... THATS HOW MY WRITING HAS BEEN GOIN LMAO!!! THANK U FOR ASKIN!!!! I love the curiousity!!!!!!! If yall little anons ever want me to talk more about my wips !!! Or just my writing in general!!! Feel free to ask unafraid!!! I love talking about them because they help provide a clearer plot line for me to follow as I write it! It'll just take me a while to answer the ask! So yeah!!! If you want me to expand upon anything, just gimme an ask‼

[straynogoddstupid666]

Beauty Realms

---------------

I refused to pick myself up

Off the damn ground

Just like u refused to help

That child to his feet

Stop letting ur guns whisper

Wrds get crisper like ruffles

Listen to ur heart listen

To ur heart listen to ur lover

Don't go out like biggie Tupac?

U dig? macking like combs

No poppa just bringing something proper

Stop poppin start huggin

And she never ever kept me

Warm at night pick up in

Hearses brief like gun be silent

My children Feel the prints on dead mulch

Shook ur folks like her looks

Killer creepin to ur window

Crushin dead leaves as he enters

A person's crib bnn hit in the face

By the coffin lid father thought

It was intentional i took it well

No help meh i come from them

Like mary for her baby the times

They never good to us

trump got me thinking

Biggie got me shaking my head

Tupac got me Reminiscing

Robin Schultz have me forlorn

I wanna think sick dreams to put

The devil to sleep why the fightin?

Stop u cryin ur groaning tha moanin

Caht u see im dying on my death

Bed like Wallace said u wouldn't understand I'll make the phone call brief

Like highschool love u don't wanna love

No more too late for this

Somebody put the pipe to my

Nutshell i want the trigger to

Talk dirty to me so let it squeeze

Young Fools don't wanna help a nigga

Breathe and i don't make enough bread

To set examples Like chances

Making mills givin bills no cheap thrills lovin pll Instead of ur bread ur pills love urself Even tho i tried i cried too much

Am srry too much let's sit

And hold hands with kim

Tell donald he gotta go

Let Steyer Take office i wanna

See smiles on people's faces

I wanna see Liberia and Africa

Dance to no more sickness no more pain

Tell shinzō am srry he won't accept it

But i want to express the thought

That should matter to him and me

Like they and them but no one ever

Spoke of us and we its always i to the am

No she cuz they were too irrelevant

To man as man was too

irrelevant to woman its funny how

That i express this better thnn a

Typical adult would but i was i

I shook my head and asked my

Pistol for help it proceeded to

Shoot meh in the noggin why The jokin?

I wasn't yet laughin stop clowin

This Is serious drink the maggots

Eat ur meal the coffins call us all

They stop ur flower bringing

Ur slow songs  whnn three yrs go by

now ur just dirt

In the hue time its past our time Subliminal like a correspondence

Too dependable Don't overreact

I hate going to the room cover doors

We gonna be here for awhile so two-sided

Living like a hypocrite so wishy-washy

Triggers keep whispering to me

Why call the ems?  U got soul to

Call them urself u pullin my leg

Choking my collar put up

against the furnace Hansel and Gretel

Got away scott free pull ur guns

But pull ur frustrations on ur kids

Why so petty?  I must find a way to die

Getting real tired of people just let

Me die slow slow as sloth

u waste my time wrap me up like

A pharaoh no king no godd just a bad boy

Im choking on wrds as ur friends choke

On high clouds sinking in high tide

Oh no no don't come back and haunt

My lonely soul i ain't got time

For entities gotta my mind

On my goddamn feelings don't Have

Time for weeping gotta

keep my Eyes on goddamn time

Don't carsick me with ur fake affection

I couldn't figure out why the same

Damn cars were parked outside hospitals

Evrynight i couldn't picture my

Lover dying a slow death too

Gone like onfroy and the Nineties

Were terrible with some honorable

Mentions the hospital was a night clinic

Send urself back the crib

dying early dawns suffocating

On life support u test me my heart

Ripped out Rip so sad let die

Wasn't worth a penny a Dime To'em

U didn't wanna be a molester

No killer am in the act of street knowledge Am stray no godd

Wise godd stray i get around i see well

I don't lie well but eat good

Make sour promises look distainful

I keep wrds as if they were

precious stones i sought it out

Like beauty realms but unreachable

Like a pretty woman like a goddess

They saw me ugly and unseasoned

Had a personality i never seen before

More lame thnn the average

So weak thnn the meek so wasteful

Like a bottle not precious as diamonds

Flith as a rug that's me on ur floor dead

Its so real like a beauty realm

i couldn't touch and fantasies and dreams

Remained in my skull but shut them off

With a noose i was so wrong Whnn will

I see a smile on my Face??

Whnn will Japan forgive Us???

Who will feed the needy everyday?

Make ur days worth don't make one

Day good make a hundred more

So high u could be like Jesus

But u weren't my saviour

Stop climbing high u wanted

Clout and fame for ur good deeds

Stop ur boasting be humble

Ur not a modest man with high morals

Not so great now Huh??

U think u better thnn Us yeah???

U misunderstood my lettering

That's why with each paragraph

U get more and more confused

This isnt to teach its to understand

Why we lack so i keep my head low

And except the worser deeds by

The higher man cuz they lie all the same

I look for imperfections in the mirror

Instead i saw the devil mock me

With sick expression ur no Ecstasy

Just a supernatural phenomenon

Caused By my own fabricated Infatuation

Within beauty and splendor so

Grand i shot my heart out

Filled my head With Grandeur

Passed out on my brother's shoulder

But he knock me to the ground

And cussed me being a flower

I was a ugly flower brother saw

Me a burden and our mother troublesome

And our sister worrisome but i

Cut off excuses brother why the frowin?

Have i failed u? I was i not motivated

To keep ur mind at ease

I grieve on ur bed side cuz the way u sleep Looks as if ur in a coffin and i couldn't Bare the sight i sigh cuz we all will be In wood coffins one way or another People shoot me off my feet

Like a realm i was forever lost

To Infinite amount of souls

Crying to themselves rotten

Like the stray the maggots breed on him

I passed the arsenic to my

Darling lover no wonder why

The blue blazer and the yellow tights

Fitted me so well i was going

To start a mass chain affect

So horrendous be like Marylin Monroe

Dial nine no call back just silence

Crack of dawning lead out in a stroller

Beauty's dead and where was judy?

Tell me if i go to a pastor

Will be truthful with Me?

Could he say with a heavy heart

That things happen for a reason?

Could he rlly honestly possibly

Probably hopefully reassure me

That i could die Happy???

Uh huh....didn't think so....

Riddle me this u ppl who think ur above all

U who thinks ur generosity

holds no bounds u women hold signs

For change u need to rlly look

Urselves in the mirror to understand me

Riddle me this can we still love

Once the heart stops beating??

Can u fix a beggar a hot meal

Without think lowly or suspicious

Of him? Can u care for a child

After he lost waht u got??

See ironically u all berates me

Cuz u kno im telling the truth

But ur stuck in denial and me

Taking great pity in u

I sigh and walk into a hwy

My talking was shunned out by

Visco girls and Woman stereotyping

Men without giving urselves a second

Reason whnn we act we act reason

The other 50% were just fools

I turned a Symphony to a sad man crying

Old man dying dead stray a walkin

I stop the talkin cuz am sinking

They murders me softly

I sullied myself to the coffin once more as The birds stop their srry note

Im being for real for real.

And not fake for fake

See where am going with this??

But u don't wanna listen

But u wanna help ppl??

[bigbadconnivingbastard]

All of them :}}}}

WHY DO YOU HURT ME IN THIS WAY

Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?

i dont know whether to get rid of certain people or not

Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?

sometimes

If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?

eh. id disapprove but i wouldnt go off the rails

Do you find it easy to trust others?

no LOL

What were you doing at 11PM last night?

playing stardew valley on the xbox, i got an iridium bar be proud of me

You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?

I AM 13

What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?

i just get really pissed and cut off the person

Are you close with your dad?

yea

I bet you kissed someone last night, right?

...no

What are you listening to?

You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?

Do you like hickeys?

i wouldnt know

What time do you go to bed?

it varies

Is there someone who continuously lets you down?

yeah😔

Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?

no

Do you always answer your texts?

sometimes i get overwhelmed but yea i try

Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?

iiiiiiiiii dont think so?

When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?

todayayaya @quackbug

Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?

@katmeeliaz no homo💖

What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

...I DONT KNOW??

Is anyone else in the room with you?

im on my couch rn so yea my dad's in the living room

Do you believe what goes around comes around?

depends.

Were you happier four months ago than you are now?

no, i was pretty miserable

Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?

yes, but i dont know if they would care if i tried

In the past week, have you cried?

ive come close, but no

What colour is the shirt you are wearing?

bl00

Do people ever call you by your last name?

never. HAHA

Is anyone ignoring you right now?

oh for sure </3

Do you have a best friend?

@quackbug heyyyyyyy

Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?

i cant even remember the last person i kissed so @katmeeliaz 💋 and no

Who was your last call/text message from?

bug sent me this and they were also my last call

Are you mad at anyone?

multiple

Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

yea

How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?

rainy gon be 14 wooooooo

How many more days until your birthday?

273. LMAO

Do you have any summer plans yet?

yea im goin to hawaii bitch

Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?

julian n russell

Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?

😐

Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?

i thought everyone did??

Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

yea

Do you think age matters in relationships?

depends on the mental age of both people, and whether or not its legal so i dont know

Are you available?

...i suppose? i dont know the context

How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?

sits in middle school

If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?

im a pussy i hate that stuff so i have no idea

Do you believe exes can be friends?

yea! although it depends on the terms you left on

Do you regret anything?

many things

Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?

my dumbass read that and my mind went "DICK" so now i gotta say dick i hate it here

Did you ever lose a best friend?

mhm

Was your last kiss a mistake?

nop

Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?

i dont have one thats why

Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?

heard, yes

Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?

yes

What was the last thing you ate?

dowitos

Did you get any compliments today?

got called creative,, so yea

Where are you going on your next vacation?

not sure, we'll see

Do you own anything from other countries?

yea i have some stuff from ireland, im in the us

Are most of your friend guys or girls?

gals

Where have you lived most of your life?

i aint ANSWERIN THAT SHIT CUZ I STILL LIVE THERE

When was the last time you took a long drive?

god knows how long ago sweats

Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?

no and i dont think i ever will bc haha that shit scary

Have you ever TPd someone’s house?

ive watched and thought it was funny

Who do you text the most?

@katmeeliaz we have like 900 messages a day

What was the last movie you saw?

ffffffffuck uh I DONT REMEMBER OOPS

What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?

my what now

How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?

i was deadass 3 years old

Is the last person you kissed younger than you?

cuz of our birthdays yea

Do you curse around your parents?

yeah LMAO

Are you happy with where you live?

oh yeah for sure i love it here

Picture of yourself?

i dont think ive ever seriously taken a picture of myself so have my bird

Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?

ive only been in one relationship so idk

Have you ever been dumped?

in a way

What do you most like about making out?

never kissed someone romantically irl before so shrug

Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?

i personally think that shit's gross i would wanna save that for someone special :(

When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?

iiiiiiiiiii do not remember

What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?

idk i guess eyes? i like eyes in multiple contexts

Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?

i believe it was bug i do not remember

Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?

😐

Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?

😐😐😐😐😐

What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face

im super weak to people telling me they look up to me n shit that makes my heart die

Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?

what fuckin 13-15 year old am i gonna know who has a kid

Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?

yes and my response was hazbin hotel memes, we still talk about it cuz it was funny

Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?

i dont ever really have crushes like i rlly think i might be aromantic

Do you miss your last sweetie?

as a friend? yea. as a partner? nop

Last time you slow danced with someone?

in a past life i guess

Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?

my friends' ocs yea

How can I win your heart?

i dont know myself well enough to say

What is your astrological sign?

fis- pisces

What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

still playin that stardew valley

Do you cook?

yea!

Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?

yeah LOL it was like 9 months of no talking and we just saw each other like ":0000 BRO IS THAT YOU"

If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?

no, i dont need one to be happy

Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?

cant say

What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?

nice hands,,,u gotta have nice hands so i can hold em

Name four things that you wish you had!

i cant name four, but

i want this. like pls. can i just have this on my desk or something i want it im begging

Are you a player?

no

Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?

no?

Are you a tease?

yea :]] in a friendly way tho

Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?

not yet but someday i will go to ihop with @quackbug and get cupcake pancakes

Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?

yea! its a nice feeling

Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?

@katmeeliaz platonically

Hugs or Kisses?

hugs..i havent been kissed enough to prefer em

Are you too shy to ask someone out?

i dont really ask people out anyways

The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

for some reason manly guys dont interest me i want a small sweetie that i can cuddl so i guess that i mean why u think he exist

Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?

"bae/babe" makes me want to crumple into a ball so no

If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?

no because if they're being unfaithful to their partner i doubt they're very smart

Do you flirt a lot?

in a jokin way yea

Your last kiss?

@katmeeliaz platonically

Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?

no

Have you kissed anyone in the past month?

mhm

If you could kiss anyone who would it be?

Do you know who you’ll kiss next?

shrug

Does someone like you currently?

maybe, i wouldnt know

Do you currently have feelings for anyone?

nah

Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

shrug again

Ever made out with just a friend?

virtually yeah but it was more of a joking thing HAHAH

Are you happier single or in a relationship?

a relationship is just a nice thing to add into your life, it wont bring you happiness, your life can be just as happy without someone if you live it correctly