#im hysterical dude
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Well thats a dream i'll be trying my best to forget. Man
#im hysterical dude#it was a gay sex dream i was a trans dude (specific one not me as a trans dude)#someone wanted 'me' to fuck him but we didnt have a strap on and i was like dude HOW THEN#(i'm a virgin and a cis woman if you even care 😭)#....i just kinda remembered halfway through preparing that wait i dont have a dick i cant fuck him#the issue ISNT that i had a gay sex (well almost. lack of dick cockblocked me) dream#the issue is the specific characters involved in this plot. like hoooly shit i need to wonder off the earth#*wander
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What if the lights randomly turn on one day? Like someone buys the studio and as a result with paying electricity bills and what not they just turn on so they can clean up but onstead find wally, frank, howdy, and poppy just 🧍🏻🧍🏻🐛🦩
local puppets get Flashbanged
#im sorry this is. Hysterical to me#some dude: huh i wonder what this switch does#four puppets somewhere else: diving under tables and screeching#their poor felted eyes....#i can so clearly imagine them fumbling around squinting So Hard#its like the reverse of waking up in the dark and its arguably Worse#ouch...#scribble salad#wh lights out au#Obviously This Is Not Au-Canon#but its very funny. im laughing!#internally!
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it just sucks because nothing is ever fucking made for you, and if it is made for you like 75% of the time it gets chopped into little pieces by every person alive because this is the one thing you have, so it has to prove itself to you.
like, a thing can't just be for women. men need to assign it to women. women have to experience "must" or "should" before their hobbies and passions - women are allowed to do silly, passive things like tuck our ankles and titter behind a fan, or something. women are allowed to, they are welcomed to. like the world is a house and we are supposed to be in the kitchen and now we are being given the divine right to enter the living room if we bring chips
because when it becomes for you, or about you, that is when the thing is vile. you should/must wear makeup so you can appear beautiful to men. once you wear makeup for yourself, or because you yourself enjoy putting it on, then you are no longer doing the right thing. there is a reason men hate certain fashion trends. there is a reason men hate things like the pumpkin spice latte - because it's not about them. you are buying it because it is good for you. they degrade your passions and interests. there is a reason women-led fields are largely seen as being "not a real" profession. when you are a good cook, that is because you can provide for him. close your eyes. you're not going to be a chef, be honest. that is a man making food for himself.
bras are made so breasts will be appealing to men. they are rarely about comfort or support. you have given up entirely on the idea of pockets. young girls have to worry about a shorter inseam on their shorts. a girl on instagram gets her septum pierced, and men in the comments are rabid about it - i just want to rip it out of her face. she'd be beautiful without it.
and fucking everything is for them. even the media that is "for you" is for them, eventually. remember "my little pony"? remember how hard it is to convince any executive to believe that little girls are worth selling to? in the media that is for you, you see little ways that you still need to make it accessible for them - the man is always powerful, smart, masculine. he is a man's man. the media usually forgives him. it usually says okay, some men are awful, but hey! gotta love 'em. because if you don't hold their hands and say "this is literally just a story about my lived reality", they shit their pants about it. they demand you put them into the media that's for you.
these are people who are so used to glutting themselves on the world. they are used to having every corner and every dollar and every place of leadership. so you say can i please have one slice of cake, just for myself, please, holy shit. and they fucking weep about it. they say you're being unfair, because some of their one-thousand-slices aren't beautiful, and your singular cake slice doesn't have their name on it. and aren't you being rude by not offering to share?
and honestly. fucking - yeah, man. you were kind of surprised, because the cake is a little basic (you bake at home, you're way past this stuff). but holy shit, it was nice just to be offered cake in the first place. you're used to having to starve. you're used to getting nothing, but going to the party anyway, because you're expected (professionally) to show up. you liked that it is a simple cake, and that it is warm, and mostly: you like that there is, for once, a cake-for-you.
in the real world, outside of metaphor, it feels like fucking being slapped. barbie didn't even say anything particularly unusual; it literally just made factually evident points. there are less women in leadership than men. we can look at that fact objectively. that is a real thing that is happening. and the movie is aware that it has to defend itself! that it has to spend like half an hour just turning to the camera and saying: i know this is hard for you to understand, but this is a real thing that women experience.
it's just - this is that one kid on the playground who thinks its allowed to hog all the toys. he builds this hoard that nobody else is allowed to even look at, or he'll get aggressive. everyone's a little scared of him, so they let it slide, because his daddy gave him the golden touch. he hates when people cry and thinks bullying is cool. he writes boys only! on a big sign and makes all his friends take "alpha male" classes.
and then girls pick up barbies, because there was nothing left for them. and in the void they've been given, with their scraps: they make long, spiraling narratives about how barbie is actually descended from snakes and has given her righteous followers magical (if concerning) powers and can speak 32 languages (2 of which are animal related) and has big plans for infrastructure (beginning with the local interstate). and the boy comes over, and he has a huge fit about how the girls aren't "including" him. he wants to know why the girls aren't making the story about ken.
"we didn't like your story." the girls blink at him. they point to his war stories and the gi joes and the millions of male-led narratives and how still in the modern day men get two-thirds of the speaking roles in movies and they point to men making mediocre shows that don't get lambasted and they point to men encouraging toxic masculinity and they point to men everywhere, men and men and men. and they say: "how is this our fault? you had ken."
"no!" he is already back to screaming and stomping his feet and tearing at his hair and intentionally reminding them that men are holding back thinly concealed violence and he says: "if it's not for me, it's actually sexism."
#it's almost as if you spent your entire life fucking denying us things and then get mad when god forbid#we point out that you've been denying us something#writeblr#almost as if . u ACTUALLY think women dream of being in a male-run society#like dude mostly i dream about not having a tummy ache#love when ppl tell me that men have to deal with more rejection than women do#im like. just say u have never had a hard day in ur fucking life. if u think the most difficult experience is getting turned down at a bar#men: this one movie doesn't suck my entire -#women: yeah so i went to the doctor and was bleeding out of my eyeballs but like the doctor said#it was probably just my time of the month i guess?#anyway so i died there and had to be revived but they think i faked dying bc it was hysterics#so i took 3 advil and now im back at work i guess
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#dude im hysterical i miss them so much why is no one drawing them anymore#my art#ryan erzahler#dylan lenivy#radioheads#the quarry
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#CRYING BUT ALSO LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY IM SORRYM IT'S SO FUCKING FUNNY. HONDA HE IS DEAD LIKE HIS HEART IS NOT BEATING DUDE#yugioh#ygo#manga#out of context#jounouchi katsuya#honda hiroto#anzu mazaki
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RGB cuddles I drew last night. stay strong everyone
#insomniac rgb#insomniac spiderman#mustasekittens#insomniac peter parker#insomniac harry osborn#insomniac mj#sketch#parksbornson#dude im still a little bit (a lotta bit) hysterical#sugh#sigh#SIGH
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rewatching st s4 and just. lucas. love of my life he was trying so hard to do the right thing…. he’s still just the protector guy…… him and steve just…. two bisexual self sacrificing jock peas in a pod……
#d speaks#st#stranger things#stranger things s4#lucas sinclair#steve harrington#they are really. just my two babies!!!!#ep 2 and 3 w lucas knowingly and willingly putting himself into a very dangerous situation and joining unstable aggressive teens#on their literal manhunt. so he can keep an eye on them and divert their attention away from his friends however possible#when they visit band practice and jeff is like ‘lucas???’ the look lucas gives him of ‘DUDE PLEASE IM TRYING TO CONTAIN THIS SITUATION’#all the little white lies he keeps telling. the way andy gets in his face right away from the first morning#the way jason is like fr man this isn’t your fight we will still consider you a friend if you bounce now and lucas seems to genuinely think#that eddie DID kill chrissy or was wrapped up in it. and he still said no i’ll stay and protect eddie because eddie is a part of his circle#and he knows that where eddie goes dustin and mike follow and so he actively chooses to keep himself in a dangerous risky ass situation#just so that he can have intel and work to distract them from his people#also. i know it’s a separate thing but still dying over the little erica and jason at the sinclair door scene#fucking hysterical
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im suffering in joel emotions ok listen
I cant get over his nervousness in the birthday flashback. The last birthday he experienced, his own or someone’s else’s, was his. And, in under less than three hours after it technically ended, the apocalypse hit their town and Sarah died
There are no good memories associated with his birthday, but I also think birthdays in general. I believe the idea at all has left a sour taste in his mouth. And especially after twenty years in the apocalypse with no one and no reason to celebrate a birthday, why would he even care?
But then there’s Ellie. His second chance. She turned 15 either on the road depending on how long we think she was 14 for when they met, or she turned 15 not too long into Jackson, before they were comfortably settled.
So her 16th is the “big” one. And despite this man who, to me, had gained a hatred and general disinterest in birthdays or celebrations in general, puts one together for Ellie. He says “Maria. She, uh… she told me about it. Figured It’d be right up your alley” but I really think he outright asked her about the surrounding area and anything regarding dinosaurs and/or space that he could use for her birthday :’)
But he puts a little trip together. A few days—ride out, there, and then ride back. He clears out the whole building to make sure it’s safe. Ellie’s notebook says “Joel said he‘a taking me on a camping trip next week for my birthday. He found something he said I’ll love. He’s acting very proud of himself. Smug old fogey.”
Again, I think he’s become very disinterested in the whole idea of birthdays and celebrating. But then, lo and behold, he and Ellie are now together and they have a safe life in Jackson and he gets to spoil her.
And he does. Clears the building out. Finds an old space launch tape for her Walkman and writes “HAPPY BIRTHDAY. love, Joel” (im telling you right now when I found this out I sobbed for hours im not kidding I SOBBED). He makes it as perfect and special as he possibly can.
But then in the space shuttle. He’s nervous. Just… something about him screams that he’s nervous to me. The little hitched breath after telling her “it’ll be worth it” if she closes her eyes to listen (which?? did he steal her walkman briefly to listen to it to make sure it worked?? maybe that’s a dumb thought). the way he has tears in his eyes like the whole scene? “I do okay?” Because he doubts himself and is scared that, somehow, it wasn’t a good trip. And her “are you fucking kidding me?” Is enough for Joel for an answer because he knows what means in Ellie-speak
but for a man who had his last birthday ruined in unimaginable ways, it was repaired in the way he went all out to make Ellie’s 16th as good and memorable as he possibly could. for her birthday, maybe the first proper one she ever got, to be as special as he could manage. to make it something good for her
#hmm does this make sense#every time that post of Joel in the shuttle comes up on my tl#EVERY TIME#im thrown into hysterics looking at him#and I just. think.#and I hate thinking#I miss tlou2 joel did you guys know that#actually just game Joel.#I miss game joel.#everything sucks without him#the last of us#the last of us part 2#joel miller#I could talk on this for hours I’ll have you know#HOURS#I COULD GO OOOOOOON DUDE#ON AND ON AND ON#I have before#I talk about this like once every few weeks but it’s so#it’s so profound I hate my life#L analyzes#tlou rot
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God but ngl it took me. WAY too long to rememebr that Kakeru doesnt like Tohru for some complicated backstory reason I don't even slightly remember anymore hahaha
Like cmon dude. You're both Sohma in-laws!!!!! How can you be having beef with the 1 person who a) is inevitably going to break the curse FOREVER, and b) is like the one person EVER to treat your borfriend with unconditional kindness. Absolute madness I truly cannot remember his reasoning at all.
#iirc (and I probably Do Not)#didnt he like. walk up 2 her at her granddad's funeral#say something Ridiculously Awful like that she was jst pretending to be sad or smthng#and then fuckin. leave#literally the 'refuses to elaborate meme'!!!!??????????#why..............#kakeru ur so lucky yuki is probably never finding out or he'd divorce u just on principle#LIKE it's so AWFUL and im so sorry tohru but it's also. hysterical.#how INCRRDIBLY surreal must this all have been for her#she just loses the last person who cares abt her and is now probably homeless#and this dude she DOESNT EVEN KNOW just shows up and. does THAT.#and then 4 years later he's for all intents and purposes her brother in law#do they ever make up????? in canon???????#i know I should just be looking this all up on tv tropes but on the other hand my patchy memories are more fun. to me.#kakeru u do deserve at least one ass kicking for this tho (if this is even Vaguely accurate)#fruits basket
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the way art imitates life and yall are obsessed with writing dudes obsessed with dudes and it shows.
#ooc. o kaptain.#[this is my annual you’re all ‘in love with female characters’ but this place is lip service central and yet it’s STILL overrun with#constant male attention. it’s hilarious to me how entirely performative the ‘I love writing with female muses!’ statement is. yeah. lmfao#people who write female muses and yet are OBSESSED with their male ships and fixate on them. and you can toss as many female muses at them#you want. it’s hilarious lip service because surprise! the page is always 100000 replies to dudes! and then the next time someone goes ‘no#one loves my female muse :(‘ they’ll respond with ‘GIVE ME ALL YOUR FEMALE MUSES’. literally. it’s hysterical and im a lesbian. and by#hysterical I mean it’s ridiculous it’s absurd and I’m 33 I no longer care what I say.]#negativity /
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i'll bite - what is Zombie Prom. do share
okay so it’s the same high-school “bad boy + good girl” in the 50s are in love dynamic as Grease, HOWEVER.
the “bad boy” is not bad in any sort of way hes just an orphan who wears a leather jacket and spells his name jonny instead of johnny 😭😭
he dies in the SECOND SONG by driving his motorcycle into a nuclear power plant and then comes back as a zombie
and the rest of the musical is him just trying to go back to school and the principal (named ms strict) not letting him back in. it gets into the news . it’s a whole thing. it becomes a battle about zombie rights. its incredible
#ITS SO WONDERFUL DUDE#AND HYSTERICAL#AND INSANELY UNDERRATED#tell me hermie would not be into that shit#he would kill!!!!#aughaggahhdh this musical is my everything#the music goes so hard too#if ur unsure. listen to blast from the past RIGHT NOW#also u can get the whole plot from the songs. zero googling necessary#zombie prom#i was in it as an extra im 5th grade and it altered my brain chemistry
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I FINALLY FINISHED ALL THE AVAILABLE FOP EPISODES AAAHHHGGGEJDKFKSPA
#THE FOOP EPISODE WAS AVTUALLY SO GOOOODD STOPPPPPQJ#I MISSED HIM SO BAD ACTUALLY I LOVE HIM OMG😭😭😭😭🥺🥺❤️#dev…. HYSTERICAL SOBBING#TJIS SHOW SUCKS I JUST WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY#ooohhhhhg this is not ok this is not ok#jermspeak#im gonna have so many coswan screenshots#DUDE if the other anti fairies return IM ACTUALLY SO EXCITED#gah im late but better late than never#lame o……………….
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working 9 to 5 😔
AFSHDGSKGDJFJFHF OH MY GOD THAT IS AMAZING
this is everyone's reminder courtesy of ramenwithbroccoli to fix your posture so you don't end up like my stupid looking plastic jaguar!!!!
#Ty for this. made my day#you have however sent me back into hysterics#ITS FACE IM 😭😭😭#psii.txt#ramenwithbroccoli#fave#saving this and printing in out on my wall. this is beautiful#good luck with employment tho dude 😔#I believe in you. you will get through this!
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Neon White is great. I fuck up a stage and fall straight to the bottom, get an achievement called ‘Idiot Island- Reach Idiot Island’ for landing in the middle of nowhere instead of in the void, and laugh out loud while also internalizing this specific image for all of my remaining attempts
#chattin#and my MOM was watching me play so i had to hear her fall over mocking me while i laughed hysterically#VIOLETS SO MEAN !!! UGH#😭😭😭😭😭😭#anyway i cleared it. her stages are so disrespectful#but like oddly it doesnt frustrate me#like im aware now that her particular sidequests are just mean#instead of the whole game being that mean#like i know what to expect so i just suck it up#i like reds sidequests wayyy more. streamlined parkour stages spark joy#and i dunno about yellows stages; its not streamlined like reds and its not evil like violets#ur kinda just hangin there. chillin. fighting. etc. i like that tho#yellow and red have grown on me#violet is still . well im putting her in a little box away from me. shes still annoying. but im trying#trying to keep my eyes open. cause like. now that im past the introductions#this games story and dialogue and relationships feel. good. more cheeky than cringey#i think the problem is that red n yellow are getting more flavor text that makes them feel like real people#and even the angels are fun to interact w; i really like gabby and mikey lol#but violet never feels like a real person; she feels like a dudes manic pixie sadist come to life#so she just never talks or behaves like literally anything remotely close to a person#but im very close to unlocking a memory w her so who knows what will change
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everything i learn abt infinity war and engame makes me feel like i am actively hallucinating
#hi. i just spent an hour trying to understand steve's ending and i am laughing hysterically#HE WHAT. HE DID WHAT. HE WENT WHERE. WHAT#''maybe i should watch these to understand fatws/the next cap movie better''#no false wrong faux incorrect. i was right in abstaining im allergic to time travel and i hate it thank you#very funny very very funny. why'd they do any of it. fascinating#i watched th. the. th. old cap scene old elderly cap and i do not know how to process this. real media that's real and exists#ANYWAY friendship ended with mcu avengers now avengers assemble/fatws is my best friend#jesus#kayvswords#I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND I DONT UNDERSTAND THE DIRECTION. OF IT. THE DIRECTION THEY WENT IN#also imma need to look up some stucky enjoyer opinions on this because hi. joint hatecrime movie#they killed my boy they killed that ship in a back alley. bewildering#ALSO I W. I WENT TO WATCH EXPLANATION VIDEOS ON YOUTUBE ABT IT#just confusedly typing ''captain america old endgame ending. explanation'' in my searchbar with increasing desperation#and this dude says that due to something something time travel. something something branching alternate universes#that thanos. dies in 2014 and there's a BRANCH OF THE TIMELINE#WHERE NOTHING POST CACW HAPPENED??????#but we don't get to live there we have to live in the old steve dead tony dead nat universe. okay alright okay#anyway if i see endgame steve its on sight that mans an imposter and i dont trust him <3
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They got rid of Golden just so Metzen could take Anduin out back and put him down like a lame horse
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