#im hoping its super dead
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Real-life question not related to Sing. Do you have memories of Halloween, like what characters you dressed up as?
Hmm I have a couple of memories
Some really early childhood memories are dressing up as a pumpkin, as a power ranger. One year I wore a scary pumpkin mask with a swamp monster costume.
I want to say it was during my time at junior high, I didn't feel like dressing up. That year I wore sweat pants with a homemade printed shirt saying "Phobia" on it.
During freshman(?) year of high school, I dressed up as my among us character (homemade). I still have my shirt from it! That was also my first time ever playing DnD.
I think after that, it might have just been Halloween shirts idk. I've also worked the past two Halloweens, as well as this Halloween too.
This year I am dressing up though for work. I'm gonna be Chili Heeler!
#i close this halloween#im hoping its super dead#i wanna say i can expect to be dead but people were also trying to buy appliances a day before a cat4 hurricane hit so ill bite my tongue#thanks for the ask! this was actually fun to think about
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It's always been interesting to me. How did Vanny fall in love with Taffy? Is a killer capable of loving the person he tried to kill?
im SO glad you asked. It happens a little bit after the Daycare Incident - long enough for Glitchtrap to get pissed that Staff hasn't quit/Vanessa hasn't finished the job:
She immediately "leaves" and Staff has her first encounter with a Very Affectionate Vanny moments later.
#asks#yogart#fnaf#self insert#gamer girls but its murderous#five nights at freddy's#fnaf security breach#self ship#fnaf vanessa#the vibe im going with this vers of Vanessa is VERY much Reluctant Follower. She doesn't want to kill peeps.#she can mask it better as vanny bc Mask Confidence and Disassociation but as vanessa she's just jaded and hates it#the thing that makes vanessa fall is a Moment of Kindness even though Staff is obviously sus of Van#before this Vanessa was super stuck up and an asshole to Staff#why be nice to the person thats gonna be dead/gone. nothing matters. shes SO depressed#and then staff doesn't die or leave. Staff represents hope
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also while we're here i would like to share the two iterations of tumblr user gorespawn that have existed since i abandoned this blog back in like early 2021. Who wants me
#i grew my hair out so i could twirl my hair while giggling about bald men#and also t.o.p of bigbang#and short men i see at the grocery store who honestly make me feel light-headed with raw and unbridled Want#but that's just a joke. i am. Lesbian#''no ur not'' I AM#anyway i used to be so ripped and hunky but now i am frail and sickly#what getting a job can do to a mf#thankfully i quit my job last week YIPPIIIEEEEEEE so now i will work towards becoming an absolute hunk again#wish me luck#ALSO#if anyone is obsessed with me and remembers all my lore i used to be transgender and i still am like lowkey on the down low#but in a new exciting way#anyway i used to be a gay man and then a stone butch dyke (as seen above) but now im practicing being a girl#it is very difficult but it is also fun. ive never been a girl before so it's a lot#anyway i bought two super cool sexy dresses yesterday for the first time ever in my life#sexy dresses meaning up to my neck and down to my feet and past my elbows. kind of like a wardrobe straight out of the handmaid's tale#from (to quote my friend) ''*The* old lady store'' thanks man. well i think theyre pretty and its v exciting bc ive never been a girl befor#anyway#who wants me#i still use the name emil online btw and i honestly always will i think it's just so me and also i do still answer to he/him dw#in a man way not in a he/him lesbian way#''he's LGBTQA+'' what. all at once?#yes.#i have mastered them all i have collected all the genders and all the sexualities and ive never been ''wrong''#it just keeps switching. which is fine. well im a girl now. in a detransitioning man way. who is insanely attracted to men#but you will have to tear this lesbian label out of my cold dead hands#''you can't call urself lesbian if u have sex w men'' well first of all fuck you and second of all i am celibate so you dont need to worry#''what the hell are you talking about'' nothing. now look how hot i am#im just joking around i hope that's fine w y'all
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finally caved and started reading all for the game. two chapters into the foxhole court and what kind of gay fucking shit is this! also did not know there were sports in here
#idk whats going on i thought it was like the raven cycle with magic and shit its called the foxhole court??? no fae???? what the fuck!!!#and i cant understand whats happening with the sports. i didnt get it. i hope i dont need to i just know kevin is top dog of the bad dogs#neil is mid mid except hes got a death wish so they want him carnally???#ill be reading it super slowly bc im busy but i can feel it slowly turning up the heat on my brain cells as i read. they are burning.#ive got naught but ten#and neil's not neil but he is and he has a bag of secrets he's hiding in someone else's closet like okayyyy go off author fuck whats the#authors name.... nora sakavic FUCK I SHOULDVE KNOWN NEVER TO TRUST A WOMAN NAMED NORA#i dont know...i dont know.... but also the only gay neil i know is the one from dead poets society and its hard to separate the two rn#is the rest of the book going to be like this what did i get myself into. am i mentally prepared#bc i wasnt for trc and it FUCKED! ME! UP! im STILL insane#ugh. ugh. anyway. way gayer than expected. also at one point someone asks ''how safe is safe'' and MY DISAPPOINTMENT#when the answer wasnt safe as life? immeasurable. in fact i had to close the book. went to study accounting.#ACCOUNTING. HELLO?? CAN ANYONE HEAR ME IN HERE???#the tree speaks#all for the game#aftg#what are yalls tags?#neil josten#the raven cycle#trc
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new chapter up yippee
#rambling#fics#fic rec#payneland#dead boy detectives#already at 12k and im only on chapter 2 still building up to stuff oh nooooooo gfdjgh#i REALLY hope this isnt super fucking boring or anything#alot of fics for these two have winding fantastical stories and im just. very drama-oriented. the case is really not important#so. might be boring. i dont know#its what im used to writing i guess#anyway. yeah whether i like it or not boy howdy have i put in a lotta work
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Okay so apparently theirs an actual canonical reason why Jackie calls himself "Jackieboy Man".
I'm calling it now it's either daddy issues or him being transgender or both
#jacksepticeye#jse egos#jackieboy man#IM ONLY HALF JOKING#jacksepticeye egos#kalcifers blog#read a comment years ago aaying how its literally the most Transmasc thing to be a super hero and proceeding to call yourself “boy man”#oh for context with the daddy issues one. his dad is dead. hope this helps!!
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I just wanted to apologize to my classic whotuals for all the dead boy detectives spamming, but it's also important to me that you guys know two things:
a) I've become aware that a lot of what appeals to me about dead boy detectives is, on a kind of conceptual/thematic level, the same stuff that I love about my favorite eras of dr who, and 6b in particular
And I tell you this not as an advertising tactic but as a genuine PSA for anyone following me because:
b) Being me & having realized this, I know I'm definitely gonna wind up posting some unnecessarily long-winded analysis/comparison, pop it in the main tags for the sake of organization on my own blog, and subsequently confuse a hell of a lot of people there who either have no idea what I'm talking about or simply don't view either piece of media in the same light as I do to begin with
So I just wanted to reassure everyone that at least you're not suffering alone, as I will soon be inflicting the reverse bait-and-switch upon others!
That's all! continue w ur scrolling <3
#i hope this is clear but im REALLY not trying to be like coy or intriguing here#this post is not remotely intended to convince anyone to watch dead boy detectives on the grounds that it's similar to 60s who#in ways which i've conveniently failed to elaborate upon & so you'll just HAVE to go see for yourself#(firstly bc when i want to sing something's praises i will upfront & unapologetically)#(& secondly bc im not super into telling people to watch things in general unless they're actively seeking a rec)#honestly this (now very overhyped) future post of mine is going to be more about like#me recognizing i have A Type when it comes to stories/underpinning narrative backdrops in fiction (if thats not too pretentious)#and much less of a 'well if you like x then you'll definitely love y bc i do & we all enjoy things in the same way & for the same reasons'#and i find it funny that nobody will care - bc it'll incomprehensible to all but about 5 people who have the full context#& half of those 5 will probably still disagree w my perspective/interpretation of one or both -#but im gonna do it anyway bc what else am i supposed to do w these thoughts! keep them to myself??? dont be absurd#that said though if you are debating watching dbd and would like to chat about it to push yourself in one direction or another#im happy to do so! especially if you have questions about it in relation to some other shared interest you actually did follow me for lol#im always game for that sort of thing & yes i am of the opinion that its a good & fun & rich show all on its own
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would like to mention the Dead Silence script ive been pulling from is an earlier draft so it's a little different from the final version, mostly I think the finished project is much more coherent and overall an improvement but i really just want to take a moment for this fucked up horrorshow that didn't make it in
#dead silence#script#james wan#leigh whannell#horror#the weirdest thing to me is the drastic character shift with the detective#hes kind of just. bland and mostly sympathetic to jamie and then in the final version hes this super weird snarky antagonistic character#which is better! hes more interesting and memorable that way and makes jamie's struggle heightened bc No One Will Help Him#was hoping for any kind of insight into the constant shaving thing but its not in this script so i guess ill never know#gore#gore text#body horror#uhhh sorry if this is Not what you wanted to see today lmao im not sure how else to tag this#gross
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Is it valid to get mad at your significant other for something they didn't do but that you feel could realistically happen or do I need to calm down
#i had a vision this morning where my fiance and i had a kid amd i made dinner for everyone#and the kid didnt like my dinner and i was like okay but you have to eat it i wont make anything else and its good for you#and then (still in the vision) my fiance said 'you dont have to do what she says go microwave a hot pocket'#and the fact that (in the vision) my fiance didnt appreciate the fact that id cooked and contradicted me in front of our (imaginary) kid#made me feel super disrespected and upset lmao#cuz he does sometimes not eat the food i cook!! granted its usually cuz theres something in it he doesnt like but it still hurts#like you could at least say 'looks good but mushrooms make me gag so im gonna have pizza' yknow??#i also read a very long comic last night about unequal division of labor in homes and household management#and just all the ways that (usually) men dont even realize their (usually) wife keeps the house together with like preventative care#and i tried to get my fiance to read it but he gave up after a couple of panels cuz he thought i was accusing him of smth :(#im gonna try again when he didnt just get off a shift where he had to clean up a dead body i think#anyways hope nobody read all that i love my fiance and he tries#its just hard to get him to understand why i get frustrated sometimes#amd it goes both ways im not faultless either#we try :')
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was gonna wait til i finished act 2 before posting my nightsong thoughts but actually i want to get my first impressions out to see if they change but…currently i’m pretty disappointed by it because from an rp perspective i literally don’t see a single reason why the pc would let shadowheart kill the nightsong if they weren’t already allied with the absolute.
from a practical perspective your whole aim is to get rid of ketheric’s invulnerability - i guess killing the nightsong might achieve that purpose but to me at least the implication throughout the gauntlet is that if you kill the nightsong as part of the dark justiciar trial she doesn’t actually die. (never mind the fact that aylin seems far too important to both ketheric and shar for her to be sacrificed if an ordinary selûnite would do). obligatory disclaimer that i didn’t let shadowheart kill her so i don’t know what happens in that instance, but that doesn’t really matter in this case because i’m talking about how the choice is presented to you, and to me at least it did not seem like killing aylin would be in any way strategic.
in which case it’s not really a choice because a) practically you are strongly encouraged to let aylin go and b) morally your tav has to justify the murder of a defenceless woman for…what, shadowheart’s career goals? even if you’re romancing shadowheart (which i am) convincing her requires a straightforward persuasion check, the mechanics of which thus far have meant you convince her that your position is correct - there’s not much in the way of lasting relationship consequences in that she won’t get so mad at you she leaves the party because you’ve already convinced her you’re right.
all that is to say that i think this is reflective of bg3’s overall binary attitude towards its major choices - there’s a good route (save the grove, defend isobel, free aylin), and a bad route (destroy the grove, ally with marcus, kill aylin). a lot of those choices compound, as well - other people have talked from actual experience about how allying with minthara will lose you a huge amount of content and allies, thus railroading you into picking a side from both a narrative and gameplay perspective. you’ve a huge amount of freedom in how you go about achieving any of those things - stealth, persuasion, combat etc., but the objectives themselves are pretty static.
so when you then have a companion’s personal quest tied to intrinsically to the plot it negates a huge amount of player choice. thematically, the companion quests are binary because they can either break or perpetuate cycles of abuse - that’s an instance in which binary choices can be very compelling. but the thematic concerns of shadowheart’s very intricate and heartfelt personal quest are totally undercut by the necessities of a pretty straightforward choice. i can’t play a hands-off tav and let this be shadowheart’s decision without to all appearances letting ketheric win. this isn’t a truly grey choice like the decision to sacrifice isolde or go to the circle in dragon age origins. it feels like that’s what bg3 was trying to do here by combining shadowheart’s quest and the main narrative, but because that main narrative is actually relatively inflexible, it just means shadowheart’s quest suffers by comparison.
#bg3 spoilers#bg3#havent spoken to aylin yet so maybe my thoughts will change#this isnt even getting into the fact that overall i think the apparent motivations of the absolute cultists are completely#all over the place#something obviously worsened by the game’s reliance on chaotic evil races like goblins#ketheric is individually a great character but he doesn’t really tie in to the narrativr at all#yet — obviously he could but like. ive 65 hours in this game alreadg so i would kind of hope to have seen#a little more of my villains’ motivations#by now#this really isnt helped by all your major act 1 villains ending up dead by the end of it#and gortash and orin appearing super late#and the emperor still fucking about#im genuinely very confused by a lot of the main quest and im not stupid. ive played rpgs before#like i just. dont understand. why your player would ally with the goblins in act 1#ive seen some people come up with truly great rp about that so like. its possible to justify#but i just dont think a game touting itself on freedom#and choice should need that much convoluted character work to justify its basic ‘bad’ choice#ais.bg3
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i hate knowing that i would be so fucking good at and have so much fun with GTA RP while also being physically incapable of even trying it out.
#krav talks#god is keeping me from doing GTA RP bcus they know it would completely take over my life and all i would do every single day is GTA RP#just watching it scratches an itch in my brain i can only imagine what actively participating would feel like#i just hope that when im finally physically capable of it its not like. completely dead and gone.#and also i mean. i could just. make a mute character. thats the main problem#but also that would limit my RP abilities so much#even tho i can type super fast typing does make me overthink myself#vs just talking in improv forces me to come up with something quickly and flows better#the one thing that ive always hated about RPG-types like fallout or sims or the like is that after the first playthru it gets sooo boring#bcus everything becomes so predictable#and mmos ive never liked bcus its so strange and uncomfortable to just see all these ppl around but have no immersive way to interact#but GTA RP and especially nopixel is like. EXACTLY what ive been looking for my whole life#i was obsessed with darkrp gmod servers as a youngin and loved the mix of practical mechanics with roleplaying#ive never been able to do tabletop rpgs bcus of my struggle with audio processing#and ttrpgs are literally 90% listening to someone explain whats happening#vs. roleplaying in multiplayer video games which just let me SEE whats goin on so i'd just have to ask ppl to repeat what they said#rather than asking a game master to repeat what they just said but theyve spent the past 5 minutes explaining the situation in detail
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having a malicious entity attached to you is like a game of being surrounded by 50 angry men on xbox all telling you to kill yourself 24/7
#BE SILENT!!! IM NOT GOIN ANYWHERE!!! GO BACK TO YOUR HOLE!!#someones gotta get a spray water bottle and start disciplining this idiot im tired of it#it doesnt even want me dead bc it needs me its just miserable and hates me#boo hoo yeah the random pain where it rests weve all seen it. yeah overwhelming weight and fog#yeah the severe bouts of out of character thoughts and negative manifestations weve seen it#its been 5 years give it a rest!#its annoying because it harasses people i know too super often lately#like oh yeah the suspicious wave of sickness on a friend that goes away every time the second i shove the entity back down. real subtle#something ive been waiting and hoping for for a long time is close so its really antsy and upset#unfortunately for it its going to happen anyway and ill fight it tooth and nail if i have to#pers
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prof said congrats for writing up a proposal so early i am going to get a good grade in. well this is literally going to be graded. but yk the meme
#i really hope its decent proposals are really hard for me to write. i never really understand how much im supposed to say#also i dont plan stuff in advance! i hate drafts and proposals why cant i just jump in and run w my topic#i dont Know exactly what im going to cover just yet can i get back to you once ive covered it#levi.txt#i spent One page just opening the two page proposal so. i know it needs some cleaning up#but the last time i wrote one of these i only got a 75 (not a bad grade but i could do significantly better) bc. and i am not kidding.#i wrote a several page intro abt the themes of a story i was super pumped to write. and forgot the /plot characters and title/#a 75 was honestly generous. that prof already liked me and knew my work so i got very lucky#also i just think the guy im working with for my essay is so cool and i want to impress him bfhshsk#ive taken 2 classes with him before he is so smart and so enthusiastic. i was 1 of only 3 who was there for every class both times#everyone whos helped me has been so cool and very nice to me i want to do a good job and prove that im as capable as they think#and also jesus fucking christ ive worked so hard for this degree PLEASE#if i dont get honours im walking into the forest laying down and letting the fae take me as they will#side note: i have 1.5 movies left (its late and im finishing army of the dead tomorrow + watching evil dead rise)!! thats so exciting#theyve (mostly) been really fun and i feel like i have a really good general idea of where im going w my essay now#the movie eras are starting to kind of organize themselves into coherent themes in my mind#i think its smth along the lines of racism/xenophobia -> social change -> satanic panic -> action and militarism -> prejudice/bias#and i actually think were in smth of a thematic reckoning w zombies rn as a culture that im excited to discuss!!#for so long weve accepted that zombies arent people but weve really been starting to interrogate that since abt the mid 2010s#w tropes like searching for a cure (not just a vaccine) or movies like warm bodies or evil dead where you can truly turn back#and im really excited to see where the future takes the zombie genre!!
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Woah I really appreciate your comment on my art <3
Idk how more tumblr accs aren't insane about hi3, literally redefined my life
OF COURSEEE your style is honestly one of my fave styles!! it makes me always think of those paper doll arts whenever i see them its so neat ;v;
tbh I'm kinda surprised !! maybe it's just bc I'm incredibly new so I am attempting (read: failing) to avoid a lot of spoilers and thus a lot of content buuuut I also feel like I don't get to see very much in general of honkai which makes me sad :( it's been super good so far and i KEEP asking myself why I didn't get into it sooner bc its just sooooo good 😭😭
ANYWAYS LONG STORY SHORT i love your art thank you for making it and letting me cry over it 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
#answered#moonfisshu#like what i mean is that ok ill go through some of my fave characters tags AND ITS SOOOOOOOOO DEAD HERE 😭😭😭😭😭😭#i feel like i came into the fandom too late where the hell is everyone 😭😭😭#im sure the fandoms larger than what i see!!! and im sure theres bounds of people i can meet!!! however!!!! I AM SCARED FJFJFJDJ#but yeah..... i wonder if thats also bc theyre not super popular ? or ???#though now that you commented this now i dont feel bad as a newbie in the fandom just crying while experiencing things anew jfjffjdjd#BUT ANYWAYS rambling more wahoo#hope ur having a good day !!!
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Whoa I'm really sad!!
#im really really sad :) help#my better coping mechanisms have been inaccessible (sex exercise and home cooked food)#im MEGA touch starved and my BPD is convincing me that my regular fwb is Done With Me#were more of a situationship that may be a dead end but we love each other type thing. idk#it was all peaches and cream until winter hit. it wad like this when we were dating too. he shut tf down.#he got super distant and i got super needy and we imploded. its happening again except we arent in an actual relationship#so im not saying anything and neither is he. and thats that.#im supposed to be moving out. lmfao.#the apartment complex is taking its sweet fucking time.#reviewing my application. I shouldve called them today im just sick of my calls going nowhere.#there is no serotonin in my brain. i feel like a loser and i dont like myself.#no one has checked in on me. i feel alone in the world.#i just hope i can go to sleep soon. buy some gifts. clean my room tomorrow.
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I gotta finish the skin game thinggy at some point. I've tot loads of sketches lined up too for them so if it comes tk it i will just post them all at once
#thing is i enjoyed it but i felt like i kind of finished with rhat style as soon as i used it and then was kind of bored so i moved on idk#but the concepts were super cool so id like to finish them idk and i liked the unifying nature of the style that could be easily adapted#and also those mycyrequests from like 2 weeks ago are dead in the water now lol#i kind of want to spend some time on something cute tho like an infomercial or guide on (fun) methods for language learning#since im not drawinf so much and im instead spending so long on languages#FUCK MY DUOLINGO STREAK#i also want to use more complex styles#ive realised that rendering just isnt really my thing atm and that maybe id like to develop a more graphic style#i really liked usinf textures in that 1 b dubs post#idk these are just my current thoughts#im really getting on on nom-internet physical work and so this stuff is taking a backseat until like next year#im hoping to get better training in digital painting in abour a years time or so that will really give me a kick up the ass if i want to#paint but now isn't the time for that#now its time for ACRYLIC
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