#im having such a hard time actually writing the analysis
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im ahead of schedule with my thesis im ahead of schedule with my thesis im ahead of schedule with my thesis im ahead of schedule with my thesis im ahead of schedule with my thesis im-
#im having such a hard time actually writing the analysis#AND i have to rework my introduction now that i know what results I got#but i promised my advisor I'll bring something written next orientation (this Friday) so we could work from there#i just- I'm having a really hard time with this and I can't even pin point why exactly#am i lost where to begin? am i scared of failing or turning something badly written in#are my own expectations to high or will i be letting my teacher down too#it's like i forgot how to write#i was all day in the office and I didn't write a SINGLE LINE#i did organize all the due dates for projects and dates of exams for all my classes#which I've been meaning to for a while now#I can only do something right when I'm trying to escape from doing something else#i only feel motivated to think about hobbies and creative things when I have to do something more serious#i feel like im incompetent and my brain is broken half the time I need to do Any task like that#how the fuck am i gonna have an academic career if I cry through every single project#why can't i just do things why does every single task/chore need to put me in actual agony#why does everything need to happen all at once why on top of everything I need to worry about my body#why do i need to make gym my top priority why can they see only the times i fail is that all that stands out#vent
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cant stop thinkin bout charles and erik readin together on the couch but instead of reading with him charles is listening to eriks thoughts while he reads. Live mind commentary ……..
#xmen#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#snap chats#the rare time i post an idea of mine only because i really cant think of a way id draw this#usually i hoard my ideas cause i like surprising you guys but this aint really one i feel like drawing so. For You my friends#like i COULD but. idk just isnt particularly something im itching to draw it just seems cute#but anyways no chat let me cook alright hear me out cause i talk in my brain all the time while i read#sometimes i stop reading just to think about a bit i read yeah#i want charles to listen in on all of eriks side comments or observations he makes while reading something#like if he wanted to charles could read the whole book in less than five minutes- maybe shorter than that#and that aint fun that aint cool …. so time for Audible: Husband Edition. With Commentary#ITD BE SO COZY just hangin out by the fireplace …. maybe its snowin outisde … if snow even exists anymore atp#a light fire cracklin and the study SEEMS totally quiet otherwise and yet…..#charles has been locked in to erik’s off-the-cuff literary analysis and mild comments for the past twenty minutes. its simple but its bliss#charles doesnt have to worry about being seen as invasive .. he doesnt have to suppress his powers …#the rare occasion erik lets charles into his mind for somethin so innocent .. ive made myself sick i fear#see now i wanna try writing a fic but 1.) have written in years 2.) id have to really think hard on how erik would commentate on a book#hm…… actually i do wonder what erik’s commentary on The Fable of the Bees would be …..#IN ANY CASE. maybe - at the very least- i can draw cherik by the fireplce someday ….#thatd be cute … hm …. depends on if i get in the mood for it down the line#anyways i have to drive back to my dorm !!! boo !!!! so good night everyone !!!!!
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if i was good at putting my thoughts into words itd be so over for all of you
#my post#slams fist on desk. i would write so much analysis............#alas. i am not good with words and everything gets all mixed up#so i just think about things REALLY REALLY HARD while drawing#like im having a cat 10 wavelength event rn but ccan i vocalize any of it. any of the feelinsg im having. no.#but i HAVE drawn him 10000 times today#secrets revealed this is actually why ive been constantly drawing fanart for a decade#i dont know how else to make clear how much i liked something or what really hit me hard
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honestly so glad i stopped using twitter as much bc most ppl on there are just genuinely so miserable all the time
#stfu kory#that god forsaken app constantly had me rolling my eyes so hard my head hurt#like what do you mean you're writing a callout thread because someone said something vaguely rude one time#and then you're gonna sit there and tell someone to off themselves bc they pointed out that the context was removed and it was 7 years ago#i literally only have it to keep up with comic updates that's it#also nobody had critical thinking skills or media analysis skills#and pjotwt is an actual disease im not even gonna elaborate on that
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Sometimes j think maybe i don't want to go to grad school for literature bc it's expensive and a lot of work and is it really worth it? But then someone I've never interacted with before says on the internet that A Single Man was pointless bc George dies at the end and i get so fucking upset i write half an essay in the tags and like. Yeah ok i was made to do this for sure
#teddy talks#personal#a single man#Christopher Isherwood is amazing and i wont take any criticisms#i already had an idea in my mind for a thesis to write about books pertaining to gay culture in the 40s/50s and how the tones vary#even amongst the same authours work depending on the cultures view of homosexuality at the time#(see: christopher and his kind vs a single man - both by isherwood)#bc im gay and autistic and ready to cut a bitch over literary analysis#so. yeah ok fine i get it#im destined to be a wacky lit professor with a huge purple velvet couch in an apt filled to the brim with annotated books#i get that. its just....expensive and hard work and im Tired#i have Chronic Sleepy Bitch Disease actually so
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sometimes i start thinking about nationality relations in the post-soviet countries and their abysmal complexity and i imagine a westerner trying to untangle that shit and it always ends w their head fucking exploding.
#i mean my head explodes a lot when that topic comes on in any shape or form#esp considering how. westernized my politic analysis is a lot of time. idk i could write a tome on this#almost always just leaves me sitting in silence. its just. its never clear cut? never?#always an argument to be made. western discourse is required to end in a simple and concise definition#of whats good and whats bad and. idfk mb im stupid mb i am being an apologist for people internalizing#racism and antisemitism and islamophobia and everything else so hard it just. morphs into. i cant finish the sentence#but it morphs. it becomes almost. a brand? god its so fucking weird#idk i think i have two brains at this point a western one and a p-s one. so i dont go fucking insane from how much these two#perceptions of the world differ. its a miracle when they work together and actually get me a glimpse on my personality as a whole#so fucking weird. and i know i have to tackle it i know i need to get to the bottom of this in my life but its just#so#fuck
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love conjeture, lh44 x reader
masterlist
pairing: lewis hamilton x mathematician!reader
summary: sometimes algorithms win championships, other times they help find love. (social media au)
mercedesamgf1
liked by yninmath, georgerussell63 and 879.301 others
mercedesamgf1 This year we want to give a special thank-you to Dr. Yn Ln! With the creation of her new algorithm focused on data analysis and her extensive collaboration this season our view in analytics evolved to unimaginable levels. We are forever grateful for her contributions and what they mean for the future of Formula 1. Thanks again Dr. Ln, and good luck with the thesis! 😎💻
tagged yninmath;
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yninmath thank you for the opportunity🫡💙 it was an honor to work alongside this great team
mercedesamgf1 👏💙
user1 omg work girlll!!
user2 just googled her and im going crazy like how do you have 3 phds at 27😭?
user3 graduated super early too shes kind of a genius lol
lewishamilton thank you miss yn💙
yninmath your welcome sir champion🥹
user4 ok this is cuteee
user5 you should be thanking him bffr
georgerussell63 Outstanding!🙌 Make sure to come back Dr. Yn
yninmath oh but the travelling😮💨
lewishamilton nah you’ll make it back
yninmath if you say so haha
yninmath
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yninmath currently picking up trash couches, writing thesis and remembering the friends ive made along the way 🤓💘
on a serious note, if anyone is interested in reading about topology feel free to read my new paper abt it (link in bio #influencer)
tagged bestfriend, roscoelovescoco;
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roscoelovescoco working’s hard🐾😵💫
yninmath or hardly working🤔
bestfriend surprised the couch didnt bring rats or something
yninmath no rats or fleas!!! its been a great couch #trashcouch #luckygirls
bestfriend please never use # again
user1 great paper dr yn😍 is there any way I could get your paper on the hodge conjeture for academical porpouses? magazines are too expensive, help a girl out🙏
yninmath dm me girl that should be free so make sure your class gets it too
user2 dr yn youre saving the nyu maths class of 25’🫡
lewishamilton no rest on break miss yn?
yninmath you know me already haha💞
user3 suspicious…
user4 what? they cant be just friends?
user5 I thought she worked for merecedes, what is this?
user6 she was only there to develop part of her thesis tho still won them another championship
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f1paddockgossip
liked by pierregasly and 903.443 others
f1paddockgossip BREAKING! Lewis Hamilton was caught while vacationing in France with mathematician and Mercedes’ collaborator Dr. Yn Ln. The pair are rumored to be in a months-long relationship already, starting in the middle of last season.
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user1 NOOOOO
user2 isnt she like way younger than him? weird
user3 shes literally a grown woman lol she can be with whoever she pleases
user4 no cause they actually look really cute🥹 so happy for them
user5 right! she seems super nice
user6 i just know that man is confused everytime she talks numbers lmao the curse of dating a stem girlie
lewishamilton
liked by yninmath, f1 and 3.478.139 others
lewishamilton congrats on the finished thesis miss yn😉💙 love you
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yninmath love u and ty for the championship😘 would have failed otherwise
lewishamilton 😂😂
lewishamilton anything for my girl
yninmath 🥹
yninmath
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yninmath you best believe he sat on the #trashcouch #dearlordwhenigettoheaven
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bestfriend did it have fleas lewishamilton?
lewishamilton no but I was worried
yninmath booo tomatoes
bestfriend just buy a new one please
yninmath i believe in sustentability🫡🍃
lewishamilton there has to be a limit
lewishamilton ❤️❤️
yninmath love you sm
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a/n: ty for reading and i hope you enjoyed🩷 maybe ill be writing more for different drivers soon, so if anyone is interesed keep that in mind!
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On Transformers and Human soulmate tropes...
(i do personally attack starscream at the end, i'm sorry starscream lovers, i love him too, but he's just a sad, devious little guy.)
Just a little thought here, so, I love soulmate tropes. Depending on the plot, they can be really fun and take so many interesting paths as a medium used within storytelling, whether romantic or platonic.
But what i want to talk about specifically is Transformer x Human soulmate tropes. Like, you have this super sweet side to it where the bot can be like 'I have waited my entire life to find you, finally, I can hold you in my arms and we never have to part again'. Depending on the character/story/type of SM (soulmate, shortening it because I'm not gonna keep writing it out) trope of course.
Can I just say how...instrumentally fucked this is though? So you have this race of robots who live for, what is essentially millennia out in the wild unless they catch the smoke. Their soulmate ends up being this little creature that lives for 80, maybe 100 years tops before dying. -Unless we're going for some kind of mind switch body type thing, but we all know how that went with spike in g1.
Our beloved robo blorbos will eventually have to cope with the fact that their soulmate, the person or creature they're MEANT to be with via laws of the universe, will die a LOT sooner than they will.
This especially hits hard with the decepticons who, depending on continuity -- hate humanity already. Bots who've gone through so much, losing their home, friends, and their dignities; have to learn to put up with and accept this creature as their fated mate/spouse/conjux endura, whatever you want to call it- SOULMATE.
Then the decepticons just have to deal with the fact that they're going to lose this person too, just like they've already lost everything else and oh GOD. Maybe they choose to forget about them and move on, stay alone and mourn what could have been if the universe hadn't had such a fucked sense of humor. Maybe they choose to accept it, but never let their SM too close because they know they'll just be hurt so much more hurt when the inevitable comes.
Then you have to think about decepticons having to possibly protect their SM from other cons! From being taken and 'saved' by the autobots.
Imagine some bots or cons just flying off the handle, going crazy just to try and keep their human alive in any way they possibly can, afraid of running out of time.
(Starscream lovers forgive me for the angst)
And Starscream especially, Maybe he'd try. He'd have a great time, take a chance, and give it a go. But what if he's actually terrified? Maybe he'd also self sabotage a little, knowing the relationship will never last too long anyways; not in the short blink of time it would be next to his life. Maybe, he doesn't actually know what to do with himself in a positive relationship after being, i dunno, consistently dogged on by megatron and he freezes.
There's something actually good for him, and since he isn't sure how to receive or accept that fact, he's gone. And maybe he'll come back, but the cycle could repeat.
(Im sorry, unless you put a tracker on him and call his ass and really give him some therapy. get him some god damn therapy.)
But yeah. All around, the angst potential is immense for this stuff and it makes me sad to think about so I thought i would share it instead of just write about it in an actual fic because my character analysis and ability to comprehend my own thoughts is so shit.
Okay, CIAOOOOOO~
#transformers#transformers x reader#transformers x oc#transformers g1#maccadams#tf prime#tf earthspark#tf fanfic#tf rotb#megatron#tf one#starscream#tf#transformers shattered glass#soulmates#soulmate au#soulmate fic#transformers being soulmates with humans is actually so fucked#transformers animated#tfa#tf animated#decepticons#autobots#hot robots#but make them sad#soulmate marks#soulmate trope
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Dark Asteroids
TW Very Dark Themes of Human Experience & Nature.
Look at the house its in to show where it would show up, and its aspects to see how it influences different energies in your life.
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧��︵‿︵
narcissus (37117) - narcissist. your side, or people in your life.
nessus (7066) - abuser, r@pist, predator. sexual abuse, obsession.
dejanaira (157) - ^ nessus victim. victim of these.
proserpina (26) - ruined innocence, abductions.
persephone (399) - ^ similar story. where time is not your own. held hostage, absence caused strife.
melete (56) - anxiety.
deprez (9795) - what makes us sad
pan (4450) - earthy carnal energy, lust, chase, desire.
maniac (228029) - inner maniac, where we do things other wouldn't, unexpected hobbies or passion.
lie (26955) - where you lie or manipulate, or get lied to about.
ate (111) - rushing to conclusions, delusional. respond to perceived, or real threats.
lucifer (1930) - where you are powerful. pride, egotistic. where you gain followers by manipulations. how you transform. why you look for revenge.
phaeton (3200) - dangerous behavior, people that got carried away, car crashes, accidents.
icarus (1566) - accidents, excessive risk.
nemesis (128) - enemies. vengeful self.
sado (118230) - sadistic dark sexual expression. borderline pain. thats that make us sad hard time expressing.
myrrha (381) - sexual relationships that go against natural law.
medusa (149) - your the prettiest, natural beauty can be corrupted by others. assault. punishment for something that isn't your fault.
karma (3811) - karmic connections, circumstances. fated.
tantalus (2102) - never getting what you want. always out of reach, temptation without satisfaction.
furia (194982) - our anger. what proves it. what attitudes bother us.
cassandra (114) - a gift & a curse. where your rejection ruined your life. where no one believes what you say
anubis (1912) - egyptian god of the dead.
grieve (4451) - grieve, grief, mourning, sorrow.
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for Nessus and pan to be in my 7th house i do attract those type of people. lustful, predatory men. but like in my actual relationships to.
furia is in my 4th house and i get really angry in the home, my mars is also there. narcissus is in my 4th house and and i have a narcissistic mother. my ancestors i work with seem to be very strong and aggressive to.
phaeton, dangerous behavior, accidents, and car crashes are prevalent in my dreams stuff like that and it's in my 12th house. also mania is there and spirituality, drugs, sleep/dreams, psychology could be where i have an unexpected hobby and passion others wouldn't.
icarus is another dangerous behavior, excessive risk. in my 5th house of parties, sex, creativity, entertainment etc. while deprez is there to that causes depression. as i read or write out celebrity chart analysis, everything puts together as lore, jhene aiko, jeffery dahmer, donald trump, etc. so as im writing mines out and its just mini asteroids, i love to see the depths, and art of my birth chart.
my lucifer is in the same house as my lilith the 3rd. also where my sun and venus is. and i do have really good mental manipulation skills, lying and using my words to scheme. but im only so aware because im not to much in my ego about it and never really liked to since a kid except when i needed to, but was always aware of that "power". nemesis is there and that is also my vengeful self. ate is also there in my 3rd house lol, rushing to conclusions, delusional. respond to perceived, or real threats. but these characters are very influnced in my school life also. im also a big trickster, love mind games, dark humor,etc.
tantalus in my 2nd house is frustrating. so as medusa in my 6th house of day to day activities & work environment. proserpina and persophone in my 10th and 2nd house is scary.
#astro community#astrology community#astrology notes#astrology#astrology observations#astrology readings#astrology chart#astrologer#pac reading#pac tarot#tarot community#asteroid astrology#astro placements#astro posts#astroblr#astrology blog#astrology placements#astrology signs#astrology tumblr#astro notes#astro observations#tropical astrology#asteroids#asteroid#dark astrology#dark asteroids#tarotblr#tarotcommunity#18+ tarot
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serious question but do you personally believe there is a way to approach psychiatry in a way that uplifts and upholds patient autonomy and wellness or is the entire trade essentially fucked haha. Btw this is an ask coming from a 3rd year med student—with a background of severe mental illness—who is considering a residency in psychiatry after receiving life-saving care in high school pertaining to said conditions. (I have peers who have been involuntarily hospitalized and treated horribly in psych wards, with approaches i patently disagree with, but was lucky not to experience. I don’t like modern american medicine’s approach to mental illness; “throw pills” at it to “make it go away” ie. a problem of overprescribing, inadequate and non-holistic approach to mental health, and i feel a lot of that can be attributed to the capitalistic framework. I also def agree with you that so much of what can be considered normal human responses to traumatic events/normal human suffering can be unnecessarily pathologized—a great example being the whole “chemical imbalances in the brain is the ONLY reason why im like this” argument that ive unfortunately fallen hard for when i was younger and am still currently dismantling within myself…and like dont even get me started on this field’s history of demonizing POC, women, LGBT, etc). Like i deeply love my psych rotations so far, and i utterly feel in my gut that this is the manner in which i would like to help people—a lot of whom are just like me—but im wondering if there is a way to reconcile these aspects in a way that one can feel morally okay participating within such an imperfect system, in ur opinion… ngghhhhhh i just want to be a good doctor to my patients…
(ps i love all ur writing and analysis on succession!! big fan mwah <333)
i don't mean to sound unduly pissy at you, specifically, but i do have to say: every single time i've talked about antipsych or broader criticism of medicine on this website, i immediately get a wave of responses like this, from doctors/nurses/psychs/students of the above, asking me to, like, reassure them that they're not doing something immoral or un-communist or whatever by having or pursuing these jobs. and it's honestly frustrating. why is it that these conversations get re-framed around this particular line of inquiry and medical ego-soothing? why is it that when i say "the medical encounter is not structured to protect patient autonomy or well-being," so many people hear something more along the lines of "doctors are mean and i wish they were nicer"? why is it that it's impossible to discuss the philosophical and structural violence of academic and clinical medicine without it becoming a referendum on the individual morality of doctors?
i'm choosing to read you in good faith because i think it's possible to re-re-frame this line of questioning to demonstrate to you the sorts of critiques and inquiries i find more interesting and more conducive to patient autonomy and liberation. so, let me pick apart a few lines of this ask.
"is the entire trade essentially fucked?"
if you're thinking of trying to 'reform' the project of medical psychology within existing infrastructures and institutions, then yeah, it's fucked. if you're still assuming that affective distress can only be 'treated' within this medical apparatus (despite, again, no psychiatric dx satisfying any pathologist's understanding of a 'disease' ie an aberration from 'normal' physiological functioning) then you're not challenging the things that actually make psychiatry violent. you're simply fantasising about making the violence nicer.
"I don’t like modern american medicine’s approach to mental illness; “throw pills” at it to “make it go away” ie. a problem of overprescribing, inadequate and non-holistic approach to mental health, and i feel a lot of that can be attributed to the capitalistic framework."
i hate when i talk about psychotropic drugs being marketed to patients using lies like the chemical imbalance myth, and then pushed on patients—including through outright force—by psychiatrists, and the discussion gets re-framed as one about 'overprescribing'. my problem is not with people taking drugs. i am, in fact, so pro-drugs that i think even the ones administered in a clinical setting sometimes have value. my issue is with, again, the provision of misleading or outright false information, the use of force and coercion to put patients on such drugs in order to force social conformity and employability, and the general model of medicine and medical psychology that assumes patients ought to be passive recipients of medical enlightenment rather than active participants in their own treatment who are given the agency to decide when and how to engage with any form of curative or meliorative intervention.
'holistic' medicine and psychiatry do not solve this problem! they are not a paradigm shift because they continue to locate expertise and epistemological authority with the credentialed physician, and to position patients as too sick, stupid, or helpless to do anything but receive and comply with the medical interventions. there are certainly psychotropic drugs that are demonstrably more harmful than others (antipsychotics, for example), and some that are demonstrably prescribed to patients who do not benefit from them and are even harmed by them. conversely, there are certainly forms of intervention besides pharmaceuticals that people may find helpful. but my general critique here is aimed less at haggling over specific methods of intervention, and more at the ideological and philosophical tenets of medicine that cause any interventions to be imposed by force or coercion on patients, then framed as being 'for their own good'. were suffering people given the information and autonomy to actually choose whether and how to engage in any kind of intervention, some might still choose drugs! my position here is not one of moralising drugs, but making the act of taking them one that is freely chosen and available as an option without relying on physician determination of a patient's interests over their own assessment of their needs and wants.
"so much of what can be considered normal human responses to traumatic events/normal human suffering can be unnecessarily pathologized"
true, but don't misunderstand me as saying that drugs or any other form of intervention should be forcibly withheld from those who do want them and are made fully aware of what risks and harms seeking them could entail. again, this would still be an authoritarian model; my critique is aimed at increasing patient autonomy, not at creating equally authoritarian and empowered doctors who just have slightly different treatment philosophies.
"dont even get me started on this field’s history of demonizing POC, women, LGBT, etc"
ok, framing this as "demonisation" tells me that you're not understanding that, again, this is a systemic and structural critique. it is certainly true that a great many doctors currently are, and have historically have been, outright racist, trans/misogynist, ableist, and so on. framing this as a problem of a well-intentioned discipline being corrupted by some assholes is getting it backwards. medicine attracts prejudiced people, not to mention strengthens and promotes these prejudices in its entire training and practice infrastructures, because of its underlying philosophical orientation toward enforcing 'normality' as defined by 18th-century statistics and 19th-century human sciences that explicitly place white, cis, able-bodied european men as the normal ideal that everyone else is inferior to or failing to live up to. doctors who really nicely tell you that you're too fat are still using bmi charts that come from the statistical anthropometry of adolphe quételet and the flawed actuarial calculations of metlife insurance. doctors who really nicely deny you access to transition surgery are still operating under a paradigm that gives the practitioner authority over expressions and embodiments of gender. the issue isn't 'demonisation', it's that medicine and psychiatry explicitly attempt to render judgments about who and what is 'normal' and therefore socially 'healthy', and enforce those standards on patients. this is not a promotion of patient well-being, but of social conformity.
"i deeply love my psych rotations so far, and i utterly feel in my gut that this is the manner in which i would like to help people"
let me ask you a few questions. you say that you like your psych rotations... but how do your patients feel about them? is their autonomy protected? are they in treatment by free choice, and free to leave any time they wish? are they treated as human beings with full self-determination? if you witnessed a situation in which a patient was coerced or forced into a certain treatment, or in which you were not sure whether they were consenting with full knowledge or freedom, would you feel empowered to intervene? or would doing so threaten your career by exposing you to anger and retaliation from your higher-ups? what higher-ups will you be exposed to as a resident, and then as a practicing physician? could you practice in a way that committed fully, 100%, to patient autonomy if you were working at someone else's practice, or in a hospital or clinic? could you, according to current medical guidelines, even if you had your own practice?
when you say "this is the manner in which i would like to help people", what do you mean by "this"? can you define your philosophy of treatment, and the relationship and power dynamic you want to have with any future patients? is it one in which you hold authority over them and see yourself as determining what's in their 'best interests', even over their own expressed wishes? have you connected with patient advocates, psych survivors (other than your friends), and radical psychiatrists and anti-psychiatrists who may espouse heterodox treatment philosophies that you could consider? do you think such philosophies are sufficient for protecting patient autonomy and well-being, or are they still models that position the physician's judgment and authority over that of the patient?
"im wondering if there is a way to reconcile these aspects in a way that one can feel morally okay participating within such an imperfect system"
and here is the crux of the problem with this entire ask. you are wondering how to sleep at night, if you are participating in a career you find morally distasteful. where, though, do your patients enter into that equation? do you worry about how they sleep at night, after having interacted with a system of social violence that may very well have traumatised them under the guise of providing help? why does your own guilty conscience worry you more than violations of your patients' bodies, minds, and basic self-determination?
i can't tell you whether your career path is morally acceptable to you. i don't think this type of guilt or self-flagellation is fruitful and i don't think it helps protect patients. i don't, frankly, have a handy roadmap sitting around for creating a new system of medicine and health care that rests on patient autonomy. affective distress is real, and is not something we should have to bear alone or with the risk of having violence inflicted upon us. what you need to ask yourself is: how does the medical model and establishment serve people experiencing such distress? how does it perpetuate violence against them? and how do you see yourself countering, or perpetuating, such violence as someone operating within this discipline? what would it mean to be a 'good' actor within a violent system, if you do indeed believe that such a thing is ontologically possible?
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wip !! here's a moodboard <3
fake happy // e.w.
ellie williams is a freak, and that's just a fact. others deemed that she is not to be trusted from the moment she was born. in a world where everything is real and raw, it's hard to lie. but ellie doesn't quite fit into the category of 'real and raw.'
everybody's moods are displayed above their heads like little emoticons - there's no fake, there's no lies, there's simply emotion. except for ellie. nobody could figure out why ellie's feelings were not displayed. she'd been seen by every doctor, every specialist, every psychiatrist, and psychologist, and none of them knew what could cause this. and so an assumption was made that she doesn't feel anything.
nobody knows how she feels at any given moment, and in a world where people are spoiled with honesty, nobody wants to believe ellie isn't dishonest. nobody wants to be played by her.
somehow surviving life up to college without ever even having a friend, ellie's accepted that she's in for a lonely life. the only person she has is joel, and well, even he can be misunderstanding at times.
and ellie's sure her professor must hate her, because he partnered her for a project with the one girl who is always happy, without fail. the girl whose mood above her head is always, always, always a yellow smiley face. ellie would even say she's jealous, that she hates you, but she can't help but feel herself smiling whenever you're around. you're like a ray of sunshine. if sunshine knew how to lie.
ok ok ok so. i feel a little bit crazy and like nobody is going to like this fic but i kind of want to write it. this is just me posting to see if anyone actually would read it 😭 not like that would motivate/demotivate me but idk. im curious paramore inspired fics first of all, the best ones. secondly, i feel like maybe years ago i read a fic with a similar premise which inspired this but it's also mainly inspired by the music video for fake happy by paramore. and also, i always write fics about reader having the 'i can fix her' mentality for ellie so this time it's ellie saying 'i can fix her' about reader. this one would be for my fellow sad/anxious girlies who love big hurt/comfort vibes. it would be an angsty ride but not without lots of comfort :D two people who are very sad falling in love and helping each other with their issues? i think yes. this fic would be very? angst and hurt/comfort and some fluff idk if there'd be smut ... anyway this was more a way for me to brainstorm for the idea (by making the moodboard and blurb) i have yet to do literally any plotting or writing for it..
from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸 i stand with palestine, and for that reason, i require everyone on my blog to keep themselves educated and participating in the fight for palestine's freedom. here are some links to educate yourself- 1, 2, 3. the last of us part 2 in particular is a game with zionist background. do not support neil druckmann by buying any of the games and please continue to engage in your media with critical analysis!! stay educated. !!! i urge you to participate in the global strike for palestine from february 18th - 25th !!!
#𖤐 ── petal talks.#ellie williams x reader#tlou2 x reader#ellie williams x fem reader#fem reader#ellie williams x you#ellie williams x yn#wip#ellie x reader#ellie x fem reader#ellie x you#ellie x yn#petal's ideas#moodboards by petal#𖤐 ── petalrambling.
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can i ask your thoughts on the fandom’s heavy focus on louis as an object of desire? it sometimes feels to me like people are more interested in other characters reacting to louis than they are in louis himself. i know the “helen of troy” stuff is a joke but it genuinely seems like he’s often rendered oddly passive in his desirability, like we’re looking at him through the eyes of the other characters even though it’s his story (to be clear: in the fandom, not the actual show). or am i being uncharitable? either way, you always have interesting things to say about fandom reception.
i think the focus of louis as an object of desire arose largely in response to a lot of racially-charged nonsense about show louis, namely, where a loud minority of fans tried to deny the abuse and horror of season 1 and frame louis as the primary antagonist/abuser of his own story. which in of itself had the potential to go somewhere, especially considering the feminized role louis occupies in parts of season 1. unfortunately its spiraled off into its own dead end at this point to where now people, a year and a half removed from the release of s1, can box louis's character arc into this tale of getting all the hot boys to look her way. when this is a horror and tragedy series. romance is part of that, but is a piece of the full picture. classic romance is very much horror tbh but thats just me
if we're discussing the show strictly, majority of louis's relationships are antagonistic. even with his lovers, they love him as much as they seek to control him. 'his love is a small box that he keeps you in', trailer louis saying 'i knew who i was without those pieces [of myself?]' . so on and so forth. the first three episodes of season 1 are about louis's struggle to maintain a link with his mortal community, in the midst of increasing racist tensions against the city leaders, all as he struggles to come to terms with his existence as a vampire and how his relationship to lestat fits in relation to all these pieces of himself. doubly so, there is also the nature of the second interview in present time, and the sort of antagonism between daniel + louis as louis eventually pushes daniel into burning the old tape. the latter half of season 1, episodes 4-7 is squarely about the triad of lestat, louis, and claudia, how lestat increasingly tightens his hold over them both, claudia breaking them free of it, and louis's response to such. doubly so, daniel becomes more hostile the less he knows, and the more louis's composed 'master of his instincts' personage collapses to show the broken man thats underneath. armand comes in at the end bc the interview has reached a breaking point once more [as it did in the 1970s]. i know, im looking too hard into the meme, but so much of where louis errs, where his memory falters, where history is completely revised, has to do with the question of claudia. even book interview foundationally was about this grief, though not nearly with the level of depth+ gravity the show has added to the story.
where focusing on louis as an 'object of desire' most impedes analysis has to do with claudia as well, bc if u see louis as that solely, then what is claudia to u if not a 'child interfering in [louis's] romantic affairs'? why are people already seeking to write claudia off as a wayward child unduly 'taking out her anger on louis', when it was louis at the end of season 1 who strangled her against the wall and refused to let her burn lestat? when its louis in the trailer thats throwing claudia's words from season 1 back at her, evading her questions in the cafe? when claudia is having to dress as a baby doll and advertise with a sandwich board for a theater + a coven-master that all want her dead?
i think this is by nature of the fact that iwtv is canonly gay and isnt afraid of showing that, and modern fandom is mainly interested in romance. claudia's relationship to louis is secondary, if not tertiary, to all 'camps' of this tiny tiny fandom bc she is clearly established in s1 as not being a viable romantic option for louis, despite claudia's perspective and her story taking up the second half of the first season, and will continue to be important in the second season. the 'helen of troy' fixation on his desirability in relation to romantically viable vampires [or even men] seems to be another means by which fans can ignore this part of the story, just as the mutual abuse nonsense about louis being clarence thomas the third self hating black man who stole lestat's lunchables and is 'just as bad as the rest' drowned out and continues to drown out any other conversation for the past year and a half. it is very difficult to have conversations on this character precisely bc of this state of fandom, where many people seek to crack the whip over a fictional character for not being mother teresa and having a complex response to trauma, then instead of discussing that, some seek to fixate on the fact that mother teresa can be sexy, actually. when thats not the point. why is modern louis so full of grief and all but suicidal in dubai, if not for the fact that claudia is permanently dead, he still lives, he regrets something, and wants to find the truth under it all? the jokes are cute and all, but lets put our thinking caps on.
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hi, i completely agree that the fandom has a problem with misogyny and often fails at self-introspection. my question is, do you have any resources/tips/thoughts on how to be better about it? even, how to recognize it in yourself the first place? "ok i'll stop being a misogynist now" is a lot easier said than done, especially for people who might not be that educated on the subject, and majority of the people in this fandom are quite young as well.
this is long as fuck and possibly somewhat incoherent bc it took so long to write but i did my best
my biggest tip for people who don't know much about misogyny is to look at your own behavior and learn how to clock what you're doing as sexist.
are you criticizing a female creator? think about why you're doing it, what the actual beef you have with them is. if it seems to be just a sense of discomfort or thinking they're annoying or overly loud or pushy, think about male ccs who act the same way and why you dont consider them annoying. are you annoyed with them for being on a male cc's stream? why? does it feel like theyre taking up too much attention? do you get annoyed with them for talking too much or flirting with guys? for gaming especially-- do you get annoyed with them for not knowing something or being "bad" at a game? think about why that is and why its just funny when a male cc is bad at games or doesnt know something.
a HUGE problem i see in this fandom is the Madonna-whore complex, repackaged as the little sister-racist dichotomy (kudos to @yourlittlemenace for that phrasing).
if a female cc is deemed to be "playing nice" (doesnt talk too much, is "nice", streams with male ccs but doesnt flirt with them, isn't "overtly sexual"), she's the little sister of the group. all the male ccs "protect" her, she literally folds their laundry, she doesnt call out how people treat her, and the fandom pretends that this is a normal and cool way to treat women who are public figures. this also goes for mom/big sister/etc. if you think you haven't done this, think about all the aus where you've forced puffy into some kind of maternal or sisterly role when it made no sense. then think about how pissed people got when she decided not to be the server therapist and was "mean" to Tommy (in lore, with permission. that she didnt even need to get. see that clip i rbed earlier from her podcast.)
if the fandom decides she doesnt play nice, if she flirts with male ccs too much or stands up for herself or points out how unfair it is that she's being treated this way, she gets demeaned, harassed, and shunned by the fandom. consider, again, puffy. consider how niki flirted with wilbur and talked about misogyny and got called a racist for *checks notes* "speaking to schlatt and fundy" and "not being a native english speaker". she got called a slut and a queerbaiter for kissing another woman despite being bisexual.
consider how hard people went down on hannah for having said the r slur several years back versus how hard they went on dream for the same thing. and how people dug it up as a direct response to her being on stream with dream. consider how every time hannah talks about how unfair it is that the mcc subreddit treats her like trash, she has to delete all her tweets bc they harass her to hell and back and act like she's an asshole for pointing out their hypocrisy.
the fandom doesnt do this across the board; i shouldnt have to say this, but its not an everyone versus no one issue. some people do this outright and loud, some dont seem to realize theyre doing it, and a few people dont do it at all (incredibly rare, i can count on one hand the number of people who genuinely seem to try to avoid these issues, which is why im complaining).
in terms of lore, have you ever once done analysis on a female character? why do you think you haven't? the bechdel-wallace test is an (imperfect) way of gauging how a piece of media ignores women and prioritizes men. think about the fact that there are FOUR female ccs on the DSMP and they are continually ignored in favor of male characters. consider that puffy and aimsey both talked about trying to do genuine lore and getting shafted, either because no one was online and wouldn't put in the effort to stream with them or because they received insane amounts of criticism for breaking anything on the server, despite the clear lack of "no griefing" rules and the precedent that you can blow other people's shit up (tommy leveling one of puffy's builds, amongst many other examples).
a quick thing about ships: have you ever wondered why m/m ships are so popular? the general consensus amongst people who care about feminism and are into fandom studies is that for a long period of time, m/m was hugely popular because women are so rarely written as full and complete characters in any media. so people took to engaging with m/m ships and writing about them because they were the most fulfilling relationships, and because misogyny led them to be predisposed to be uninterested in female characters.
say an m/m ship is incredibly popular, something like, i dunno, john watson and sherlock holmes from bbc sherlock. lets also say the canonical media presents one or both of the characters with a female love interest. how do you think a fandom that prioritizes m/m ships and is primed to be disinterested in women as characters (either because of our society's role in teaching people that women do not matter or because of fandom's history in assuming female characters are not fleshed out) is going to react? if you said theyre going to send undue amounts of criticism her way and act like its an act of homophobia to give a canonically straight character a female love interest, congrats, you've figured out a huge component in fandom misogyny. take this, amplify it over several decades, and add the psychic damage that supernatural gave society. queerbaiting is bad but mistreating female characters in service of nonexistent queer relationships is also bad.
this is relevant in general but i also believe its relevant for the dsmp because of the complete lack of m/f ships. aside from phil and kristin, who are literally married irl and kristin isn't even on the server, there are no m/f ships that involve female creators. this is not, despite what you may think, due to the inherently yaoi nature of minecraft roleplay. this is because the creators, including the male ones, are afraid of the blowback of m/f flirting and how fucking awful people are to female ccs anytime it happens. once again look at niki. as another example, consider how notfounders harassed the living daylights out of mxmtoon for flirting with gnf on twitter. if i was a cc i would avoid it like the plague too considering how happy people are to dig shit up about them or accuse them of being a slut or an attention whore/"pick me girl" for speaking to a man.
one last thing, this is more about fanart than anything else but stop drawing women to look like teenage boys. the amount of fanart i see where i literally cannot tell if someone has drawn niki or tommy is fucking insane. niki has curves. draw her with them. if you cannot draw women or people outside a very specific body type you cannot draw. fatphobia and misogyny have a clear overlap.
i cant think of anything else and ive already spent forever on this. look into feminist media analysis. think twice about how you react to female ccs & female characters. consider not just what characters have interesting stories but who is allowed to have interesting stories. you might be neglecting someone who has a lot going on because you're dismissing a female character as inherently less likely to be interesting. you might not even know someone has an interesting story because the fandom neglects it so completely.
as a final little note: like i said earlier, if you're not familiar with gender & sexuality studies, you may not know this, but homophobia and transphobia are rooted in misogyny. the idea that gender is immutable and rigid is because of the patriarchy. this is why gendered slurs are used against queer people and why queer men in particular get accused of and demeaned for being feminine. your understanding of queerphobia is incomplete without considering how sexism plays a role.
also go read everything rayne fisher-quann has ever written but especially this piece on getting woman'd and listen to you're wrong about
#asks#anons#misogyny in fandom#i cant think of a ton of specific links to provide because my understanding of feminism is like. so entrenched#like ive been doing it basically since i got on the internet#and i also studied it in university so i dont want to send like. meaty academic texts necessarily#ill look and see if i can find any other helpful sources though and feel free to add on#also i want to note on that last bit that every time ive talked about this ive mentioned that this fandom runs quite young#and i acknowledge that i literally studied this for like six years#so i have a leg up. but it does feel genuinely like people are putting on blinders to avoid talking about it#which is why it feels like its bc feminism is cringe right now or something#this is. not well written but im honestly so sleepy i stayed up til 3 working on orders ahhhhh#banger posts
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Hi welcome to miwiheroes <3
*australian accent* 'Ello this is Eli, president of miwiheroes club and I realised I never made an intro post, also this is a little masterpost where you can find all the analysis/ byler rambling posts without having to scrolls through my account :D
I'm 18 years old
Not very active at the moment because I have just started university
he/him
I may look like an aggressively straight man but no one knows i'm actually hyperfixated on shipping two queer guys from a sci-fi netflix show
I'm a capricorn, infp, bisexual and trans ftm
i'm in quite a few fandoms but rn im hyperfixated on byler so... i'm also into the grishaverse fandom, good omens, dan and phil, + marauders
i'm from england
my spotify is 'figflower' and: Here are my byler playlists!!
i never used to write analysis on film but thx byler tumblr because i've been missing out
if you were wondering, my favourite characters from stranger things are (in this order): will, mike, hopper and el <3 okay see ya
MY ANALYSES:
(i will update these as i make them. my more massive analyses are highlighted in blue)
Confirmation that Mike jumping into the quarry was about Will
Milkvan's conflict, Byler, and the concept of understanding
Byler and the insane amount of Closet Imagery
Season 1 Mike is extremely queer-coded
The most important 'Will Voice' scene
Mike's bedroom is insane
FULL airport scene analysis Season 4
What if Mike's gay from the beginning of S5 like Will in S4?
You're not delusional: What I noticed when I wasn't a byler
Thinking about the monologue…
Mike is clearly thinking about Will in the Snow Ball scene
Light is symbolic for truth = byler endgame
MY FICS:
My AO3 Account: miwiheroes
vibrant days (caution to the breeze) - 3 chapters
Mike and Will's relationship has been secret for 2 months. Neither of them want to bring it up, but things build and build until it becomes more of a burden than just a little mutual understanding. Will's growing up (and getting drunk) and it's impossible for Mike to stay in the same place forever, with words always on the tip of his tongue.
aka mike and will are hiding their relationship and avoid talking about hard subjects
is my timing that flawed? - 2 chapters
In the aftermath of a harrowing escape from the Upside Down, Mike and Will grapple with physical and emotional wounds. Faced with Will's new plan and doubt of what's real and what's not, Mike must confront reality and something that he had never been able to truly control.
aka wound cleaning fic + a devastating cliffhanger + Will not knowing what's real and what's not
it's rotten work (not to me. not if it's you) - 2 chapters
Ten years after everything, and Will hasn't been able to shake a debilitating fear of anything medical-related. So when the only option and smart thing to do is get a blood test from the hospital, Mike is sure to take the time to be there for him.
aka will needs a blood test but has a phobia of needles and mike takes time off work to support him
My WIP: what you really want (Season 5 speculation/ absolute cringefail pining)
Have fun! And if you don't ship byler ur allowed to interact but if you want to hate on it, please don't interact! I'll just delete any hate because I personally think there is no space for homophobia or negativity on my page.
You'll also find 0 byler doubt here. I don't want to worry people. So ily <3
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luca's 2024 letter
so i did a whole analysis/explanation/infodump about luca's newest letter on my discord server and. figured i may as well post it here! theres a lot of fun tasty things in here and some confirmation of things that have been implied in previous letters which is fun to look at. please keep in mind i dont have the entirety of every character and manor game's lore memorized so while i did double check some things i mightve missed some stuff. anyway its all below the cut since its Long have fun :)
(also feel free to chime in with any thoughts/feelings/opinions/ideas!)
so theres three sections to this letter! im gonna go section by section, but some parts of the last section are mentioned earlier so uh. sorry if you havent read it yet (id recommend u do read it first)
so part 1 is pretty fun. luca is confirmed to have survived game 10 (which also features tracy, charles, and bonbon though we dont currently know who the fourth survivor participant is) And its implied that hes the only survivor of the game (according to the "fleeting victory" thats the assumption at least). his traits w being able to connect the ciphers is also officially tied into the lore here; there are in fact wires running underneath each arena (or at the very least whichever arena lucas game was in which we dont know yet iirc) so its canon that he can do what he does in matches and its not something that the detective incorrectly deduced lorewise (idk if any of the survivor abilities are Actually incorrect deductions/not actually things that theyre doing (like for example priestess's portals, etc that seem more far-fetched) but since we know hes done other things incorrectly (like "prisoner" and "psychologist" titles being in quotes/technically wrong) i figure he mightve gotten some of those wrong too). luca is also Super Fucked Up w an unusuable left arm (and his previous injuries which we know includes at Least severe brain trauma but likely physical trauma too considering his time in prison + the leg braces) so uhhhhhhhhhhh. my money is NOT on him for the next game.
which is the fun next thing to talk about: baron deross is making him do another game!! this confirms whats implied in emmas 2022 letter (she writes "I've won the previous round, for now" which implies a second round if not more), and probably means that helena and galatea would also go through another round even though its not confirmed yet. so far we dont have a record of what happens in any second manor game for a player who has won (as far as i remember); usually what happens is entire groups are eliminated before the game and the only survivor goes on to the next round to try again by default rather than having won the game (like murro and luchino). so far luca's second game is the only one we have ANY info about for a survivor whos won their first game; we know that alva is in it and its heavily implied ann is in it (we'll get to this later) so we'll likely find out what happens once we get either of their experiment letters. its also interesting that the baron seems to reveal more information about the experiments to luca after luca won his game, but its hard to know whether thats because luca is also a scientist or if he reveals that to everyone who wins. my guess is maybe the former bc u Know luca would have questions and theres also no mention of baron deross saying anything like that in emmas, galateas, or helenas letters.
on to section 2!!! (there was a slur against disabled people in the last line of this section so. thats whats blocked out)
OKAY SO. definitely confirmed that hes in a second manor game, its not even subtext its just right there. assuming the "mechanisms" refer to the same mechanisms that are running under the arena and connecting the cipher machines my guess is that this is what he used to shock other participants?? rather than just being to conduct electricity through himself like he does in the game?? idk thats just spaghetti at the wall its not clear here how he actually got shocked and why. it Is clear that he passed the fuck out at some point or another/his memory issues have gotten worse and the wiki points to that guy in his dream being hermann, so that's. interesting. theres an implication here that luca and hermann used to be closer, but once luca started w physics hermann went mmmm time to stop being a father. which. checks out knowing hermann. whats even more interesting is that luca calls hermanns ideas "ludicrous fantasies" that are neither idealistic nor realistic, because like luca you went and did THE EXACT SAME THING. BRO HE WORKED ON PERPETUAL MOTION. YOURE WORKING ON PERPETUAL MOTION. IM SORRY YOU CANT CLOWN ON UR DAD FOR RUINING HIS LIFE OVER PERPETUAL MOTION WHEN U DID LITERALLY THE EXACT SAME THING
anyway.
i do wonder if this is meant to imply that hermann was in fact actually working on a More ridiculous version of perpetual motion or if luca is just biased as hell against hermann. im banking on the latter there is no way in hell that luca is a reliable narrator considering all his memory issues + his general tendency to outright grab people hes mad at by the throat (<- fun fact we see this at least twice once in alvas backstory video and again in gattos backstory video. luca is the same across all timelines). also implications that hermann became an alcoholic. im guessing as a kid luca was told it was medicine and he hasnt put the pieces together?? or its ironic. idk could be either with him. i highly doubt its actually medicine. ALTHOUGH. theres an alternate explanation here; when luca says "swallow them down" i initially thought he was referring to hiding his "final feelings", since sometimes swallowing down feelings is a phrase used for that kind of thing. but potentially this could be implying that hermann had luca take some kind of medicine potentially to get rid of those feelings in some way?? personally i think its the former because we already know hermann was wasting his life and money so becoming an alcoholic would be an easy answer, but this is probably just because i dont have any answers if it were the latter. something to think about
now the third part, which gives us info about the next manor game!
so first the "gaunt old man" is (according to the wiki which i agree with in this case) mad eyes, which makes sense because mad eyes was involved in game 8/9 right before this and game 10 was filled with inventors + bonbon so it only makes sense he was there. no idea where he went though. whats more fun is that luca is now In The Fucking basement Walls where mad eyes used to be bc luca doesnt trust the rest of the participants. considering the "abnormal eyes" and that alva is here we know for sure that this is those related to the eye of darkness cult, which means ann is also definitely there. whats even more interesting is that this implies the existence of at least one more member of the eye of darkness cult whos going to be in this game; luca says "new participants" and "these people", and considering how specific the letters usually are with other things i would guess hed say "those two" if it were only ann and alva (of course its possible that theyre the only two have arrived at the writing of this journal, but considering he refers to a ritual coming up soon my money is on all the participants being of the cat cult except luca). luca makes a good note that this new game is likely the opposite of the previous and more focused on religion/spirituality which checks out w the participants, but DAMN hes an asshole about their writing style LMAO. sorry luca not everyone can have the same notes u do
the "brother in faith" guy here is alva, and i personally believe that he can in fact believe see through walls just bc thats funny as hell. just kidding its likely because luca is not as subtle he thinks he is because alva Literally Knows Him. other people might not be able to know hes there but like. that guys also a scientist. hed be able to figure out that theres someone in the walls AND he does in fact know luca. its difficult to tell bc of lucas memory issues but this probably also implies that alva looks very different from how he did in life (i doubt its as tall/etc as in his hunter form since thats what they all see when drugged not what he Actually looks like but im sure theres some stuff like his shorter hair/grayish skin/etc that carries across). i for one am fucking thrilled that theyre in a game together bc oh my god this is a time bomb and im just waiting to watch it explode (again).
as for the last line about a ritual... teehee. im very excited for whatever this is going to be and its killing me that this is the Only Information we have on it so far. likely we're going to have to wait for more alva and ann letters on this one, as well as whoever the third eye of darkness cult member is going to be, but i have no doubt that we'll have some more info eventually. if i had to take a guess its going to heavily affect how game 10-2/11 turns out; i highly doubt any ritual goes on without a sacrifice, and, well... theres only one guy here whos not already part of the cult. things are not looking great for lucas future.
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𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞
hi everyone and welcome back to junos monthly newsletter !!! i hope uve all had a wonderful month, whether its getting warmer or colder where u are (thank god its warming up here i would be dying if it was still winter) and i hope u enjoy this months edition ★
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲
this month was actually one of my fav months of the year so far, my mental health is doing so much better and im finding that the weather is really impacting that. usually its not this warm and sunny but i am so fucking thankful it is !! i had my huge performance this month and it made me super excited to join more music groups and js about performance in general, its such a wonderful night of the year and i always feel so sad when its over !
𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜
monthly playlist charm - clairo manic - halsey short n sweet - sabrina carpenter hypochondriac - brakence better off - esha tewari home video - lucy dacus
𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐬 + 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐬
» buffy the vampire slayer - up to season 2 i started watching this show this month and ohh my god i love it !! buffy is such an icon and i love the plot and general vibes, i cant wait to watch more ( cordelia, drusilla and buffy are my fav characters so far btw ) » the perks of being a wallflower (rewatch) - 9/10 i always forget how devastating this movie is and then i watch and im like oh! this is soul destroying! but i love it soso much and it always makes me cry » jennifers body - 9.5/10 oh my god. i love this movie soo much megan fox is so fucking hot and its so iconic and aah im. yeah. love. » (500) days of summer - 8/10 love this movie !! i loveee the non linear storytelling and i think the acting suits the genre and vibes so well, it wasn’t boring at all which i loved. very nice chill vibes tho » deadpool - 8/10 this movie is soso silly, i love the dynamic camera and again, the non linear storytelling is so yummy. i did not appreciate the like 20 min sex scene as i watched this w my dad but i rlly wanna watch the second one !! » janet planet - 4.5/10 idk this movie gave me weird vibes u can read my review here » thirteen - 8.5/10 the vibes? immaculate. wardrobe? im so jealous. taking drugs? not cool. very stressful at times but i still loved it
𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬
» lolita - unfinished still reading it !! its a little hard to get through but i do like picking it up and reading a few pages every day, its getting so strange but the writing is so enchanting i cant stop reading lowkey … hopefully it’ll be done by the end of next month !! » the virgin suicides - unfinished been reading this occasionally and ohh my god i love it. the whole narration/how its being told from a sort of unknown perspective in a documentary style is so yeah. im so fucking hyped to finish it » my year of rest and relaxation - unfinished yes i am reading three books at once and yes it is slightly inconvenient but !!!! i got this book recently and its so… dreary?? but i love it ?? i feel like i dont have to have my literary analysis hat on to read it which is nice compared to the other books im reading rn.
𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐛𝐨𝐚𝐫𝐝 / 𝐚𝐞𝐬
𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
@dandelions-fly-in-summer-skies + lmk if u wanna be tagged !!
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