#im having fun with hands recently.. thats new lol

[shoot-me-with-a-crayon]

them✨💕

anyways do check out Marble Sky by @somerandomdudelmao it's a very good read so far i'm looking forward to see where it goes ^_^ !

[sweetheartsaku]

—ot5 txt ; txt as a little more than friends

a/n : [fem!reader] AHH MY VERY FIRST REQ BY @bxckkdoor 😞💞💞 thank u sm u have no idea how grateful i am jskdeds <33 im so sorry this took so long... theres been some things happening irl rn </3

lupine !

yeonjun ; espresso - sabrina carpenter

ALWAYS HYPING YOU UP whether that be on your latest insta post, most recent snap, on call as your studying or even when you’re getting up to order something 😭💗

the best friend who hyung card activates when he sees you slightly uncomfortable from pricks on public transport or anyone, he finds a slight threat. on trams, one hand is on the handle, and one is wrapped around your torso (not waist cuz yall are ‘friends’ and doesn’t wanna make you uncomfortable!) BOUNDARIES PPL

JEWELLERY MAKING!! mentioned in another ot5 post, he loves making little bracelets or picking some cute ones up from stalls. gets cute and silly charms that remind him of you

prefers to take you out to night markets and restaurants, preferably cold dessert or ramen at home. loveloveloves both!!!

soobin ; must be love - laufey

loves to take pictures of sunsets, but ever since you guys became friends its always you taking a picture of the sunset too 🥹 2 of his favourite sights <3

has absolutely no hesitation in sending things over to your house. whether you’re sick and need food, falling behind and need books, hungry and want takeout, mention it once and the uber is at the door

CUTEST photo booth results. when you pass one, yall are bound to snap a couple pictures. you both have quite a collection of photo booth pics, and obviously some polaroids too!! always a couple on your wall and the back of your laptop and the back of his phone.

offers to carry you when your heels get too painful. thats it. thank you for coming to my ted talk.

beomgyu ; you get me so high - the neighborhood

mentions you in vids on tiktok that say iconic duos and it’s your initials with his, or sends you videos that are like 2 friends doing the candy bowls trend with MHA paper wigs on LOL

waits for you to tie your laces if he doesn’t get to them first. most of the time he’ll crouch in front of you and watch you tie them. sometimes you just need to wag your foot and he’s already there subconsciously but it's never in a slave way?? just a habit 😭 “can u tie my laces” “you’re so LAZY smh.” proceeds to tie them

weirdly knows when you’re not sleeping. he’ll text you on a day where you’ve never implied you were going to stay up, so when you get a text from beomgyu its like he knows you so well “GO TO SLEEP???” “EHY DO U HSVE CAMERAS ON ME”

writes your initials on everything!!!!!!! sometimes yeah he'll sneaky a heart over your paired letters, and loves to doodle over your arm or something <3 quite the artîst i say

taehyun ; don't wanna fall in love - KYLE

as much as i don't like saying grabby hands he does it sometimes. when you cross the road, his hands expect to be around yours when you cross. very endearing 10/10 would steal my heart in an instant

very playful sometimes 🥹 (THE VOICESS I CAN'T HOLD IT IN ANYMORE TAEHYUN I LOVE YOUU) bumps his waist onto yours, lightly hits you with whatever's light, just likes to be fun and cozy with you. is very comforting and easy to open up with!!

he gives super nice massages. i dunno. like out of the blue, you or him will be talking to someone and his hands are on your shoulders. he's very gentle with it, and the tension in your body slips away so quickly.

lots of mirror selfies (kinda wants u to compliment him hehe)!! whether it's a new fit, in the changing room, at the gym! he's so pretty i cannot do this anymore.

kai ; forever out of time - tokyo tea room

the most FUN (friend?) dates EVERRRR!!! whether it be visiting the animal shelter, going on picnics, ice-skating, but last but not least (and also his favourite) is simply staying at his or your house and play cozy games on the switch :)) don't forget the noodles, blankets and movies!

his hands brush over yours way more than a normal friend should. maybe it's from being so used to clinging onto his arm or something, it's like magnetised. his arm is like... ALUUUUUURRING.

SO MANY 0.5S AND TIKTOKS. always filming something cute and trendy, a dance, sentimental trend. like yeonjun is always hyping you up in posts or stories, commenting liking favouriting EVERYTHING!!!

wrote the date you guys met on his controller. very small, on the right corner of his switch, in white paint pen with a smiley face next to it (he's so sweet i will cry on you)

[cconfusedkat]

(shaking hands, functioning on three iced coffees, not beta read we just die) (LIL BRO TREATING THIS LIKE AO3Anyways yeah i did not read anything i typed here a second time so my wording might Suck Major Kuss)

Hey chat! sorry my holiday depression unfortunately kicked in, i had a ,, relatively decent Eid (cuz i dont celebrate christmas) ...? so i hope everyone had a relatively better holiday than i did… 💦

My friends often tell me i look like my art and i kinda see it. Hooray! Meeting the artist! Except i took matters into my own hands of making my own collage because I Do Not Have Enough Storage Space For Any Other Editing App

Additional shitpost ❤️ the art I've been most proud of are not actually in here, really! I'm mainly proud of the fanart i made for the few smiling critters AU's aaaall the way back feb-march but. I guess the stuff i liked the most i did this year was probably for the one who wilts? Im trying to think of stuff earlier than that. I noticed i definitely had an improvement in art, and i learned i do have a preference of drawing certain ways now too lmao- the fun of art! I hope to improve more in 2025 :-)

Herm,, all jokes aside, im glad people like my art...?? I am not a very Secure artist myself (already taking me five minutes to type that out and consider myself as an artist) so im SHOCKED when people Actually like my things. My doodles. The sometimes rare occasion of real art i put out there. Like! Wow! Thats crazy

Id have to say the same for youtube- im currently at 456 subscribers 🥺❤️ that is huge to me,, i wouldnt have expected me posting for the first time in years on youtube would result to me getting this many subscribers? ? .???

Im very, VERY thankful for the people ive met this year through fandom and generally. Unfortunately—for the past few months—Ive hit a really low stump in my mental health that limits me from talking to people without getting super drained, even on social media i kinda struggle with being active again. I am thankful for the people that continue to stick around and know im the way that i am,, one day ill be mentally stronger and everyone is gonna see my growth as soon as i can ,, Actually leave my own home and hopefully start a new. I didnt really consider that until one of my friends shared its experiences with me and i GENUINELY realized i can run away and get better one day,, there is a light at the end of the tunnel,, there IS,, but not now. Not today. Not in a few months. Itll take me years to heal but 2025 and ongoing years as i get more freedom to do so,,

UHHHH UHHH. ASIDE FROM CHEESY RANTING OF HAVING HOPES FOR THE FUTURE, YAPYAPYAP- i got a drawing tablet (again another thing my friend inspired me for- technically two major things in a row it inspired me for- hope in the future and drawing BWAHAHA-) and uhhh. HmMMOOHHH YEAH I REUNITED MY MEOWMEOWS! HOORA🎊🎊🎊🎊

my 2025 goals are not just improvement in art,, but in hopes of getting a full time job (since my last full time UMM. did NOT work out well! How am i gonna learn to pay my taxes on my own dawg,) and trying to get a place of my own since i missed out on that two years ago (or one? One year ago? I DUNNO..!!!!) , therapy and trying to heal better compared to my terrible stumps of 2022-2024,, i dunno what else but. Maybe working on my social skills at some point 🗿🗿 a far fetched goal is moving out of state completely and also going on testosterone but that is farrrr from now </33

Thank you lot for following and keeping up with my goofiness i gen did not think an animanga nerd with a passion of indie and mascot horror games could reach 510 followers within one year HELPPP thats crazy

On less serious goals though i hope on watching more animes than reading manga in 2025 BWAHAHAGAHSAJD i read manga more and anime is Extremely Rare for me to watch but both jjk and Beastars have all ive been watching as of recent lol- trust i will be such a geek (girl Please that is NAWT something to look forward to) (YES IT IS. HAVE YOU NO WHIMSY?)

[goodlucktai]

tagged by @bobtheacorn like...... 3 weeks ago 😭 my bad

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

283

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

1,353,670

which seems.......excessive

3. What fandoms do you write for?

actively, one piece and tmnt, but that is ruled by the demons in my brain that control the hyperfixation machine.

fandoms ive posted 3 or more fics for:

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends Good Omens Final Fantasy XV Undertale Mumintroll | Moomins Series Harry Potter Young Justice 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia 陈情令 | The Untamed King Falls AM Percy Jackson and the Olympians Rise of the Guardians Voltron: Legendary Defender

4. Top five fics by kudos?

Exclusivity - 11,116

walk straight through hell with a smile - 9,152

Inanition - 9,039

there is thunder in our hearts - 8,161

trouble is a friend of mine - 7,842

5. Do you respond to comments?

i do try to but i can't always :'( and i feel terrible if i manage to reply to most and then forget someone and only realize it months later. but i read every single comment and i appreciate them more than i have words for

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i tend to veer away from angst, but off the top of my head....

where the good men go or if i go i'm going on fire

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

99% of my fics have a happy ending because thats my BRAND but i suppose give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around or the weekend we were in love OR put your empty hands in mine

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not often, but i recently had someone who REALLY disliked the way things change because i 'villainized' raph. which is definitely news to me, since raphael is the love of my life

9. Do you write smut?

nope

10. Craziest crossover?

i wrote a tmnt/one piece crossover once ? but now that we are actually getting a tmnt/naruto idw run it doesnt feel that weird to me anymore

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

only once if i'm remembering right ?? it was a long time ago and wattpad related, which is a site that i dont really understand and therefore tend to avoid

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes ! i'll often have people request to translate my stories and it blows me away every time

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Devil took your hand was written by myself and @moogsthewriter

14. All time favourite ship?

ineffable husbands, wangxian, or leosagi

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

how much time do you have 😭

16. What are your writing strengths?

i want to say characterization and narrative voice. i'm also pretty good at maintaining a throughline, even if it sometimes gets a little wobbly

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

conflict ! i hate it ! i will avoid writing it at all costs ! i also tend to struggle with writing fight scenes, especially when there are several characters involved :') staging any kind of choreography is my opp

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

i try not to but if it feels unavoidable i google the heck out of it

19. First fandom you wrote in?

honestly it was either digimon (which also inspired my og penname) or xiaolin showdown lol

20. Favourite fic you've written?

i'm stealing bob's idea and going top 5:

there is thunder in our hearts - this story came together so easily for me, like i knew exactly how i wanted to tell it from start to finish

the only hoax i believe in - a kfam fic in my top 5s why yes and i'll tell you why. because i poured so much of myself into this fic that they could probably read it at my funeral instead of a eulogy

traveling so far to get there - after party au raph and mikey continue to take up so much real estate in my brain and for what

now the darkness comes alive - this one is more recent but im so happy with the way it turned out :')

if we could stay all day in the sun - it was a lot of fun reimagining one of my favorite fairy tales and doing a bunch of unnecessary research for this story i will stand by it until the day i die !!

i'm tagging @mykimouser, @owletstarlet, @portgas-d-aroace, @mad4turtles, @camsthisky, @remedyturtles, @pickledcarrotsandradish, @swordsmans, @mangogreent, and anyone else who wants to !

[honeycreammilkshake]

Honnnney im having a good time on the sukuita incest yuri brainrot express(wow thats a mouthfull lol) where sukuna is like 15 and her mother married to jin (who manages to end up dying anyways go fucking figure) and as soon as little Yuuji is born she gets oddly attached to baby yuuji.

I like to think fem!sukuna in this is a weeeeee bit more possesive over Yuuji, being more motherly torwards her, and very much does not like disobedience still. Shocker, i know lol.

Fuck it why not add Sukuna getting jealous at her mother for being the one to give birth to Yuuji, decides to take her out of the question and raise Yuuji as her own anyways. And Sukuna always gets what she wants. (Context this is all happenig as Yuuji has only been born for maybe 3 weeks ish like Sukuna out that lacation to work Yuuji LITERALLY needs it)

After that fiasco, Sukuna takes baby Yuuji, and runs off to raise her.

However, she finds out why Yuuji is acting up recently, after finding her diary wide open she knows why. (maybe she was almost late for school?)

And the entry that she first sees? Well that mornings diary talk! Apparently the little brat had been doing it to keep her mother's eyes on her because she's scared of her precious little mommy leaving her for someone else.

For a bit Sukuna is amused, oh little Yuuji just was greedy. That makes more sense. Its silly since she no need for anyone else when she can simply train Yuuji into being her ideal pet, but thats an after thought for another time.

However, It's time to get a new reward system set up for her precious baby. A quick lip of her lips and a small spark of excitement sens shivers down her spine. This is going to be so much fun~♡

OMG I ADORE FEM SUKUITA!!!! bless you for this <3 (i need to get on the sukuita incest yuri brainrot express with you, please.)

i love a good mommy kink especially with these two. i really love the idea of sukuna adopting a more motherly role over yuuji and being both protective and possessive of her. (also yessss please give me brat tamer sukuna having to put a very greedy, bratty teenaged yuuji back in her place <3)

also i'm really in love with the idea of sukuna being jealous enough of yuuji's own mother to steal away her kid just cause she couldn't handle not being yuuji's own biological mother. (does yuuji know about this? how does she feel about being taken away by sukuna? would she ever use that knowledge to blackmail sukuna into being more hands on with her, not knowing that sukuna is very taken with the idea of getting her hands on yuuji already?)

i feel like female yuuji is (even more!) yandere-like towards sukuna so her being jealous and greedy, wanting to keep sukuna all to herself, is only natural. (maybe she even makes sure to never bring her friends around for fear that sukuna will cook for them or treat them motherly like she does for yuuji...)

as for the new reward system sukuna needs to set up for her precious pet... maybe it's time to start giving yuuji a new creamy treat with an addictive taste that yuuji can't quite place. sukuna doesn't bake often, which only makes these treats even more special, but there's something in the flavor that yuuji can't get enough of. and it doesn't help that her precious little mommy is also getting more intimate and indulgent as of late, preparing yuuji bubble baths after a long day of school and brushing her hair before bed. it almost feels like the quiet before the storm, and yuuji can't help but feel excited over what could possibly come next.

(also, i can't stop thinking about sukuna making it a habit to read yuuji's new journal entries every day and laugh over them as she makes those sweet treats for her little pet <3)

hope you've been well, anon! tysm for the lovely ask! hopefully you don't mind what i added on to your amazing ideas >.<

[2000sangel]

For the Adam thing waaahh..

She/her i’m about 4’10, a bit chunky but not majorly overweight. Alt/metalhead style. About 50 piercings and a butt ton of tattoos incl 2 full sleeves. Dye my hair every colour of the rainbow but rn its black. Mullet with microbangs and an undercut with sides shaved as well. Big ass glasses cos i’m blind af lol.

Personality wise shiiiiiit insanely unstable actually. Diagnosed Bipolar and BPD is like, scratching the surface. But deep down im soooo sweet and gift giving is my love language. Super aggressive to those i don’t know, but submissive to those i do. Anxious as balls. Total virgin literally have never even kissed anyone HAH. Love reading and writing and playing all sort of video games. Am a hair stylist. Ahhh idk what else! Thats probably it :) am a fair bit boring

Good day, anon!! Hope you enjoy these, and thank you for sending this in! I’m having sm fun lol ^_°

dividers credit : rookthornesartistry

★ Adam x You Headcanons ★

Couldn't think of Emojis, so here's your ship name : Blast Beats !!

★ First of all Adam thinks you’re so unbelievably cool – I mean, he dresses pretty much the same! And if you ask me, I’d probably say that he’s got at least some tattoos and piercings of his own. He genuinely thinks you’re so attractive and he can’t resist the urge to kiss you whenever you’re getting ready to go anywhere, if he flutters his eyes open don’t mind him, he’s probably focusing on your tattoo-filled arms reaching out to cling onto him.

★ Speaking of which! You’ve never kissed anyone, and don’t have any experience in this kind of thing? He’s more than willing to teach and show you things – Adam has had, let’s not lie to ourselves here, multiple experiences with different people before you, so he’s more than willing to take the lead in your first kiss and he’s got a way of correcting you on things he doesn’t like that’s just...the slightest bit of attractive. Don’t be embarrassed to accidentally kiss him the ‘wrong’ way or putting your hands in an awkward place during it, he has ways to fix it so that it doesn’t ruin the moment.

★ He’s also a master of dye – he absolutely helps you dye your hair at home and it’s actually pretty funny how he acts like a true hairdresser during the process, double checking in the mirror and puffing up your hair a little once it’s finally dyed and dry.

★ Adam doesn’t mind you having your moments, truly. He will make sure you get enough love and care no matter what, but if you have especially bad days he’s learned to ask you what you need and accommodate you as best as he can. The only thing is that he’s not the best with words, at least at the beginning of your relationship: expect him to fuck up a little, or even say something a bit tone deaf, but he will immediately apologize after and resort to physical contact to comfort you instead. Do you like being securely wrapped up in his huge, soft wings? Good, because he will keep one of those at least around your shoulder for the whole day.

★ He loves your gifts!! He has never actually been a gift kind of person, but sometimes he will sneak out of your shared house to get you something in return, or he will hang out with friends just so they can suggest what to get you that you could appreciate, because in all honesty, this man wants to impress you... but he’s not sure he gets the gift thing 100% right yet. He might bring you stuff that he likes the most at first...but hey, the sentiment is there!

★ Also, since you like reading, writing, that sort of things...he will definitely opt to get you a book you haven’t had the chance to read yet sometimes, and it’s funny how he’s so bad at being mysterious about it...”Sooo, babe... random question... anything new you want to read came out recently?” he asks, on his way out to a very secretive outing, tote bag of his own band draped across his shoulder. You can’t help but giggle...

★ ...though sometimes he changes his mind midway and decides to bring home a whole new console so you can both play on it together. Your house is full of those, Adam loves videogames, too! The videogames he likes are a tad bit violent, so if you’re not in that kind of thing he won’t force you play –though he will joke around a bit and call you a pussy- and get you more games of your liking that you can play while he sleeps on you.

[unityrain24]

Saw your tags about Star Wars, it seems Star Wars stans and modern MCU stans are two peas in a pod. :/

im not entirely sure which tags you were referring to, because i have reblogged several starwars posts with Tags, but honestly, the mcu and starwars really are two peas in a pod. And im honestly surprised there isnt more comradery/comparing between the fandoms

both started out as, while definitely not "high art" or anything, legitimately good enjoyable films, with relatable characters the audience could feel empathy and compassion for, exciting new powers and places, fun and adventurous stories, and more, which instantly became beloved classic that people thought about with nostalgia and pleasantness. And they were and by people who cared and the people who watched them were compelled to care and create communities.

But then both franchises saw a shift, from making films from a passionate and moneymaking point of view, to purely making films from a moneymaking point of view. While star wars saw this happen with the franchise being picked up a few years after to make sequels, the mcu's shift happened more gradually, since there was no time in-between making movies.

now, while i would not consider myself a StarWars Fan, my sister and cousins most definitely were, so i had to watch basically everything in order to keep a conversation with them (not that i didnt enjoy it, i quite liked it and all the lore, it just didnt hold the special place in my heart that thing i consider myself a Fan of do). I've watched the movies, the clone wars series, rebels, the mandalorian, etc all the way through. It's been a while since i was keeping up with everything, so forgive me for not having quite a comprehensive understanding and opions of it as i did say, 3-4 years ago lol.

But the starwars sequels are a lot like the latest phases of the mcu. While i cant remember if they explicitly go against any prestablished canon like the later mcu phases do, they definitely go against the spirit and point/purpose of the original (and even prequel) films.From what i remember, the sequels also had went through several different directers and had direction and script changes and was a whole mess, so even the three films were sort of inconsistent or at the very leat felt oddly-thrown together (<-i may be wrong on the specifics of that its been a while. but it was something along those lines). Also like the later phases of the mcu, they relied a lot on the "nostalgia factor" with not only easter eggs but bringing back old ideas, concepts, plots, even characters, since it "worked so well the first time," when really what the "first time" did was think of new things, present old things in new ways, and tell make art from a place of passion, community, and connection, rather than a "whats the least i can do to make the most money" mindset formula (a point brought up a lot by @therese-lokidottir on many of their recent mcu critiques).

Starwars, unlike the mc, did have a brief period of "redemption" where it looked like the franchise would be saved and given back to the hands of people passionate about starwars, stoytelling, and film, with stuff like the final season of clonewars, the mandalorian, and a few other things. That was a great time to be a starwars fan. I wasn't even a fan, and it was kind of magical for me. But now it seems like they are back of the capitalist art-destroying path, hard. They have been pumping out series after series after series (once again going for the "nostalgia" thing, bringing back the clonewars artstyle, several beloved characters, and more), but it all feels so hollow. The stories feel more like they are just putting in a whole bunch of "wow, thats so shocking" and sewing them together with "hey i loved that character!". The costuming and makeup is absolute trash. The worst by far is hera (an alien character from the animated Rebels series, showing up live-action in Ahsoka). It is hideous. I have seen cosplays of her better than what the actual multi-bullion-dollar corpoation disney with all the best resources put on that screen. The costume looked like it was from spirit halloween, the makeup looked patchy and strange, they left out simple details of her design, and all the colours were Off. Examples:

Hera in Rebels:

Hera Cosplayers (x and x):

Hera in the Ahsoka Series: (it is like. seriously disconcerting to me)

and again, the costuming was not the most pressing point. Its actually relatively low on the list of points of everything bad with current starwars. But its good for a visual example. My sister and my cousins loved starwars. Passionate. Ahsoka was one of my sister's favourite characters. She couldnt even get though a full episode of ashoka. I havent heard anything new of starwars from our cousins, either. And we see eachother relatively often. I havent watched a new starwars thing in like... forever now. And it seems like neither have they. And not because they got sick of starwas, i can tell you that. They got sick of the new starwars being pumped out and shoved down their throats where the only things that resembled what they had loved were twisted into something else. Which, at least in my experience, is far, far worse than if they just ended things ubruptly and unfairly. At least mutilated corpse can rest.

The mcu's decline was, again, more gradual, like boiling a frog. Thor ragnarok is where i would probably pinpoint the beginnings though. I didn't like it at first, because it was out of character, sort of reversed elements of the character's well-developing character arcs , narratively picked on some characters more than others, etc. But, it was still a well-beloved film by many, in-universe explanations for why the characters, arcs, and plots were so different could be plausibly thought up, it was fun and unique, and i could make myself ignore the bad parts and focus on the good and enjoy it for a while. But by the time the loki series came out? There wasnt even any of that anymore. No passion. No community. No love of art. No respect for the previous artists and their art, that the new makers were supposed to honour and continue. While ragnarok's morals of the story could be a little iffy at times (attempting to critique colonialism/imperialism, but falling flat because mocking loki for dismantling it; making jokes at points of the film where it was a little inappropriate), the loki series was straight up horrifying. Perhaps most noteably, fucking. GLORIFYING AND EXCUSING/SYMPATHIZING FASCISM??? and labeling genocide as a "necessary evil?" (though, once again, that was not the only immoral "moral" the series preached). Disgusting. And the MCU is pumping out way more films than starwars, and seem far deeper in the money-lust trenches too.

either way, both are suffering and both are bought by disney (and oddly, both keep giving more and more screentime to the fascist characters. but at least starwars isnt romanticizing it like the mcu is...)

and it hurts so much when something important to you is taken from you, and twisted, and ruined, and its mutilated corpse is hung up on string and paraded around as a puppet before your eyes, and burned into your mind even when you finally tear yourself away. And then swarms of people thinking your ridiculous for caring so much about something so unimportant, and others defending the very monstrosity that did this.

But its not ridiculous or silly or inferior to be attatched to a fictional character or fictional world or fictional story or whatever. They can provide comfort, and ways to explore and understand and even come to terms with yourself (or even others!) (and can be especially important coping mechanism for mentally ill people!). And art is a such an innately human thing, for us to express ourselves, and communal art (like film!) is a tradition across humanity and time!

And with the whole thing with people these days defending/denying what capitalism is doing to art, and denying the notion that art has any influence or effect on "real life"... why are these such absurd concept to you, that you liken to some crazy conspiracy theory? Are you really so blind as to not see it happening before you? Is the blindfold over your eyes really so soft it feels like nothing there? They say a bird who doesnt know its in a cage thinks its free. These people seem to think that drastic, unfair, unjust, immoral, inequal changes and systems are only things of the past. And often, the past doesnt feel real. Dinosaurs and the roman empire and some genocide in some faraway land in some faraway time can at times seem just as unreal as mythical creatures and stories. And even if such terrible things were to happen now, surely theyd be able to see it coming. But things like this dont change in an instant. They are gradual. Like boiling a frog. You dont notice. And even if things arent the worst they can be, and never become the worst they can be, they are still bad. Things arent required to be certified the worst of worst in order for change to be allowed to happen. The worst of the worst isnt even a thing.

Our art is being taken from us. We are being overworked and underpayed. Our whole lives are dictated by how "valuable" we are. Our environments are being polluted and decimated and our planet is becoming more and more inhospitable. Racism and queerphobia and ableism and more are taking lives. And none of those things are at the very worst they can be. They could all be much, much, much worse. But we shouldnt just sit around and be grateful its not worse and do nothing more, nor should we deny anything is wrong at all. If you had cancer youd want to do what you could to get better. If you If broke your leg youd do what you could to make it better. Even if you just accidentally cut your hand or finger while chopping vegetables, youd bandages it up. We always should try to make things better.

We deserve to have our art continue to be art. Just as we deserve all the much more pressing areas of our lives to be better too

Anyways, marvel and starwars really are two peas in a pod. And that pod is with other pods, and the plant those pods share is film. Or perhaps even art as a whole. The mcu and starwars are just really good examples of whats happening right now, because not only does it feel like perhaps its hitting them the most, but also because since they are such large franchises, you can really see and document the progression of whats happening with each instalment.

two peas in a pod :( <3

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

Hello there 🙏🫶 I just want to share this rn with you..... 💌 Recently i have developed a crush on a girl. She is so wonderful and we talk every day & i feel so giddy LOL. I don't even know her face😭 I am so unsure over alot of things & it is both mortifying & exhilarating to experience .. & thats the fun if it..omg.. recently i feel like so many friends are having crushes i wonde r your thoughts on this..

also i forgot how to flirt entirely so i dnt even know if its noticeable to her at all that im interested that way since i havent been bold enough LOL any advice on signaling this to her is appreciated i feel like13 again likeso clumsy LOL its so exciting too omg wishing you a beautiful day when u reaD this i hope it;s fine to send this to u i know u like your inbox used as a confessional but i'm still shy HAHA

🙏🌞🫶🫧🌈

AWWW💞💞💞 happy for u Anon :]....Ues it seems lately many people have been finding new love, i noticed it too the past few weeks :o I've only had that feeling a handful of times over my life, its a special one cus it can be quite fleeting depending on how fast things move, treasure it🌟 altho W/ me and slimbo it lasted ages so by the end of it when we finally confessed love i was FRIED from haveing butterflies in my stomach for so long lol i was losing my marbles over it. anywyas--

Honeslty im BAD at flirting like. i have noooo idea how to make a move , slimbo n i both tried to keep it .pokerface. for years because we're like, i dont even know, we're stupid we were almost enemies for a while. there was a timespan where we were SOOOO competitive and whenever we tried to play games we'd fight so much and i'd end up crying LMAO im laugjing so hard typing this cus we're not even like that now. Like as soon as we got together we became the ultimate harmonious team of considerate affectionate lovers but the courting phase was such a trainwreck lmao. i love it like its beautiful it all worked out, but yeah i suck at flirting i am swagless in that position🧎‍♀️

Altho when it's irl i definitely at least try to Thot it Up, concoct minxy outfits , move in a charming way, one of my most successful tactics has been attempting to orchestrate accidental voyeuristic scenarios for them to catch in their peripherals lol. but you have to be reeeeally subtle to pull that one off ;] i guess mostly i just try to talk to them a lot !! and be thouggtful. send telepathic uncondtional love. SHOW THEM SONGS!!!!!!! if its an internet thing, maybe u can watch movies or youtube videos together. be inquisitive and ask her lots of questions ^_^ one thing that always drew me to slimbo is how curious they are and their #intellect.. But everyones different so just feel it out day by day thru communication💓💓💓

hhope that helpes in some way.. its ok to feel giddy and clumsy im sure ur crush just wants to get to know the most authentic -you- so dont stress too much about specifics ^u^ Enjoy your weekend love ~ ~ ~ P.M.d.9

[prismagia]

Marion's 2024 Manga Summary

there's a lot to sum up!

first and foremost, im putting all the series ive read this year in order regarding how much i've enjoyed them. im a pretty impatient reader and i dump things that dont spark any joy, so ive honestly had fun with all of them this or another way - id say i dont regret reading a single one. only pic 3 rows 4 & 5 disappointed me in some way, for others - i just didnt feel very thrilled with them.

overall, this year's manga journey was insane for me, as i've never been so compelled to return to the world of manga reading.

first and foremost, i have colleen's manga recs to thank for my newly found interest in shoujo. thanks to them i discovered (sometimes anew) so many series that people tend to shy away because we equal girlhood and even womanhood with immaturity, lightheartedness and everything about it revolving about (heterosexual) romance. the realization that i often disregarded manga because i never got to connect with traditional cis male shounen experience (im bigender, but im very closeted) was honestly wild to me. you mean there were things that represented my thoughts and feelings growing up all this time?! the absolute pearls of my 2024 shoujosei crown are easily kamisama kiss, ohana holoholo, pieta, from far away and sailor moon. i regret never giving sailor moon manga a chance, it literally made me feel overflowed with how much feelings and ideas was poured into it lol

discovering shuzo oshimi was just as wild. you know when people on twitter cant decide if someone is a freak (negative) or not you're in for a fun ride. and oshimi is a freak! despite my asexuality, i related a lot to the thoughts and ideas about the messy, ugly parts of coming to terms with yourself, your gender, your sexuality and your priorities in life. none of those are something easy to realize, you hurt people and yourself in the process, and i love how shuzo oshimi works with that. you probably heard of flowers of evil and inside mari - and i promise, those are not overhyped. it felt cathartic to read both, and i can only recommend those who want to try oshimi's works for the first time. his most recent work, welcome back, alice, was also my introduction to his art!

another crucial moment for me was closer to the end of the year, when i was a bit stressed out due to finals and other, well, things out of the "well THAT just happened" field. that was when i stumbled upon haru akiyama. i did so while browsing the yuri tag on the yuri scans site - as one does, - and stumbled upon brides of iberis. i dont see polyamory represented very often in media around my corner of the internet, especially with lesbian women involved, so it piqued my interest. and it was genuinely good! what akiyama excels at perfectly is drama. i get people calling her characters names, but to be honest? thats how people are - dramatic, messy, annoying and easy to panic when something stable they depend on feels like its crumbling in their hands. soap operas are based actually and her octave cemented my thoughts on that

this year was full of many new pleasant discoveries, and i plan to make many more! i have an anime planet account to track my stuff, so you can check out my planned to read stuff there or even be mutuals :) i'll also be reviewing the most enjoyable ones i checked out sometime later. i have a pretty humble idea of what i want to read in 2025, and it's basically:

urusei yatsura by rumiko takahashi. absolute classics! i cant let it go unread

20th century boys by naoki urasawa, as gfs propaganda has finally made me cave in (and i already started it in 2024. but shhh)

solanin by ueki asano. i never got through punpun but id still like to get acquainted with asano's work, so i decided to pick a lighter read of his.

cherry project by naoko takeuchi. well! i also started it in 2024, and the art is majestic. since sailor moon i absolutely cant stop thinking of takeuchi's flowy lines and dreamy screentones.

i have more in plans! but it's a secret. for now. you will see.

[majorproblems77]

Hi! I saw your silent follower/anon thingy, and figured it applied to me, lol. My reason is that I'm pretty socially anxious, and I've only been on here a handful of days, and I haven't posted anything myself, and I generally have no clue what I'm doing. Mostly lurking and enjoying what other people do/make, I guess. But! I did want to take the opportunity to say that I like your blog! Particularly your comic analysis posts! I've gotten somewhat hyperfixated on LU/other Linksmeet AUs recently, and I so desperately want to think thoughts about them, but my brain says 'Sword heroes go BRRRR' and glides right off, lol. So seeing you talk about the neat details, and the potential theories, and even just the designs you like! It satisfies me, and I really appreciate you doing it! So, yeah! 😊

Hello new friend! :D

Well im glad you are here! Im glad you enjoy the analysis posts, they take me so long but I have so much fun doing them its wonderful.

Hyperfixation go brrrr join me my friend :D

Who are your faves? Or is it all of them, id totally understand if its all of them.

Sword heroes do go brrrrr you are correct

Thats the secret! :D

[avidaraku]

Hi!!!! ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

welcome to my pinned post I honestly still dont know what to do with my blog like ever but still :) nice stuff. This blog contains whatever the fuck I reblog, including fandom and 18+ stuff - I do not tag my porn reblogs so if you're following me for fandom things, this is an all in one blog bc i do what i want <3 you are warned! leave if you dislike my beloved freak blog

|･ω･)

just be nice and kind babygirls, that's all i ask of <3 human decency lets go!!!! (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

my ao3 account is https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daimashiko :) I like writing porn, my brain is constantly on khr mode :) I also never have any consistent name for my accounts, so thats also why my names are different. Hi to any discord friends who know me from well, discord <3 im sure u guys are familiar with my socials in this case

TAGS. ─=≡Σ((( つ＞＜)つ ／(＞×＜)＼

#my art (very self explanatory I am not a creative person with names?? sorryyyyy - i also considered making my art tag into artvidaraku but like. thats too much effort jklsjgkldKJDF:SJ:JKL:JK:LDG ;;)

#khr (that is my main fandom ofc <333 - overlaps with my art but also other people's khr stuff so haha... its a mess but oh well)

#poll (i like answering them! or just reblogging polls i wanted to volunteer in but its too late </3)

#lotta tags (i tend to comment a lot in tags but these are the ones where i usually write like. a lot of commentary to the point im like ohhhh i should tag this right? curious if anyone's ever went through them but also i've never talked abt these things so. oopsssss <3 - lot of it is kinda sad / depressing but usually i am pretty reflective. kinda?)

#animals (self explanatory. i love me some fucking creatures. respect nature babygirls i adore them fellas <3)

#tumblr classic (i love getting to see the classics / things i'd personally consider a classic on my feed)

#fandom (this one's pretty commonly used! yadda yadda, talks abt fanfic and stuff / sometimes i get disappointed with fandom but that's not new lol)

#fashion (i don't use this as much as I should be?? but if you want to check out what i think is fun / a vibe <3)

#avidarecs (****i literally just made this on impulse so there's not much rn but i want to share more of my recs for things in general! fandom / songs / whatever other thing comes to mind?***// will probably be rarely used? but you never know~)

there might be more tags I haven't included but from the top of my head this is it?? Might add more, i have no clue. But anyways back to my other interests and what I'm into!

media i like: khr (its number one bc i am unable to pry reborn's hands on my stupid silly little soul so i cannot escape even if i wanted to), slay the princess + scarlet hollow (games made by the same studio. i love the art and vibes sooo much and also the fanart is sooo beautiful), Jenna Marbles (i've been obsessed w her stuff recently and I hope she's having a good time w her dogs and Julien :), kpop (honestly its only just loona bc im tired and feel old as fuck despite only being in my 20s so i am not gonna get into another thing lol), and sanrio!!! i love my melody she's a cutie patootie <3

-probably more stuff I like but this post would be a lot longer

I'm certain its obvious but I am a proshipper (also i am always in rarepair hell girl HELP. but also i will chain myself to that random mix of characters without prompting. ah....), if you don't like proshippers, leave my page and block me <3

But anyways my fav tropes (i definitely have more i just cant think of them but in general im chill with lots of stuff!)

incest (i am so fr when i say somehow i always revolve around incest ships they're just soooo good. my brain is absolutely destroyed in favor of tasty fucking food. shout out to incest shippers you guys rock luv yall :3)

age gap / size difference (these tropes are lovers and they're already fucking each other within one yard of each other. good fucking food yk?)

any toxic/problematic food (necro + lolisho rights!!!) in general. i am just. yeahhhhhhhhhhh MMMM LOAD THAT SHIT UP. i also have very little memory but still whatever

genderbend - i know it's a dwindling trope in popularity but there is nothing better than mindlessly turning a guy chara into a girl like wow..... so hot.... <3 this has also been a long time trope i've adored and i'll probably never stop using it bc its just that good for me <3 mmm. girls. cute.

monsterfucker stuff is great! (does this include animal hybrids? im going to include it with that soooo)

i think this is enough, but also before you go explore whatever maze my blog is in bc i cant be bothered enough by my blog, i will also reblog things in tandem to politics / real world things (I support Palestine <3). Am American. Am Mess. But I hope the world is kinder even just a little bit more. This world is cruel, but I hope we can continue to offer each other support and love, even when times are harrowing as always.

(っ ᵔ◡ᵔ)っ have a hug/kiss!!!! (i like gifs hehe)

[ginnsbaker]

Hi chapter thoughts here I probably will still break this up tho :)

First vision. I think his plan is probably to “expose” wanda and reader to yelena or something maybe take a picture of them together. But to be honest I don’t think it’s gonna have the desired effect because i think the two of them genuinely will end up together anyway so trying to hurt reader by breaking their current relationship is more like a blessing in disguise. (Started with this cos it was quick and we all know everything else is super long so get ready)

I already touched on it briefly but once again Wanda’s character growth and maturity. The way you write her development especially the therapy sessions continues to amaze me. Its not rushed to fit the pace of anything else its completely raw and i just love what you’ve done with it.

The sex thing. Oh boy. “You can tell its been longer than yelena inteded” thats just so awkward. I kinda feel bad for her but was also slightly amused by the situation if not a little second hand embarrassment but yeah I mean i get it you had a dream of a top 10 experience with your ex wife who had lots of time to learn what you like and stuff and then woke up and its the wrong person uh down there.

Past Wanda’s present. If thats not the sweetest god damn thing. Correct me if i got this wrong but she managed to track down the actual one from readers past not a new copy but the original one. The time and effort that must have taken is insane like I genuinely can’t put into words the feels i got from this part (where can i find me a wanda). And its such an amazing gift not only for the sentimental value and what it means to reader but it shows how much she truly loves them and also actually listens to what they say and pay attention. Very sweet 10/10 loved it.

THANK YOU CLINT. Im so happy he mentioned seeing wanda having been to a therapist and a substance abuse specialist. I hope it plants seeds in readers mind even though they immediately denied it (i see them protecting her reputation they care) im hoping they connect the dots because agatha was dropping hints earlier and they had to bring her home when she was drunk but i have a feeling they’re gonna be oblivious 💀.

Yikes Yelena dropping reader in it by saying they’ve seen Wanda recently in front of Nat. She knows what shes doing. The talk with Nat went about as well as I expected and its a very sucky thing to happen on your birthday (thanks yelena). I do see Nat’s point and if I was her I would probably act the same way but if I was reader (which I guess i am?) i would be slightly frustrated because she’s not considering it from reader’s perspective shes seeing it from the point of Yelena’s big sister which I completely understand but she’s supposed to be reader’s best friend. Sometimes our friends make decisions we don’t agree with but all you can do is advise them and support whatever decision they make. It seems that Nat is giving the advice but isn’t willing to give the support if a different decision is made which i completely understand it is her sister its still a bit sad. Its true what they say sometimes friendship breakups or fights hurt way more than romantic ones.

Agatha is still such a good friend and a great character we love her.

Okay so I thought i would cover everything i wanted in 2 posts but it might be more so up next reader and their mom, reader and yelena, the present, yelenas speech and of course reader and wanda

-🧃

Vision - It's got nothing to do with Yelena. And he's got everything to gain from it. Chapter 14 will immediately get to that.

The sex thing - I think I write awkward sex better than normal sex lol. I actually had fun writing that scene.

Past Wanda’s present. If thats not the sweetest god damn thing. Correct me if i got this wrong but she managed to track down the actual one from readers past not a new copy but the original one. - Yes. She tracked the original, the one that R's mom accidentally donated away. While Yelena got her a fresh copy of the same puzzle because she thought the one framed is worn down.

Natasha - She's very anti "getting back with your ex wife". I think she's looking at it from her own experience. Her own thing with Bruce never worked out. They were very on and off, and she finally managed to crawl out of that cycle and thinks that it's a similar situation with R and she can be strong enough to do the same.

Keep them coming :D

It's going to be a week before I post chapter 14.. but who knows.. so better send them all in before then lol

[sojrner-fishsticcc]

loona pm - finished! (kinda!)

yes! finally! the model is complete and finished! woohoo!!! as of right now its in what im calling version 1.0, so it still has bugs. im not fully committed to releasing it yet until i fix up some minor bugs in ver. 1.1 and until i figure out how to properly export her and get a system to transfer payment so i can begin selling her online. right now im seeing the price around $20 USD, although thats entirely just me guessing, ill ask around to see what’s roughly a reasonable price considering how much time this project has taken me. i still plan to continue working on it, but ill most likely mainly shift my focus to a new project (god its gonna be weird to go back to modeling! its been like a week idk if i even remember how to lol) and i dont really know what im planning to do after this. this project has been almost my entire life the past week and its going to be weird to finally have it done. like i said i still plan to continue updating her, fixing bugs with animations as cpm updates and adding gestures and emotes when i feel like, but as of now she is DONE. all of the core features are here. so hey! heres a handful of fun things i finished recently:

first of all: she blinks!!! she has a slow blink cycle thats minor but god it adds so much. its such a fun little detail. and with closing eyes comes-

sleeping! she has a full sleeping animation and i couldnt be more proud of it. hooooonk mimimimimi hoooooonk mimimimi. look at her go :3

there’s also some other animations which i finished which im just- really proud of. little things that look neat!

swimming! this is just a nice little forward stroke. it was fun to make. some of the arm movements and rotations are a bit strange and im hoping to patch.

treading water! this plays whenever in water and not swimming. this is pretty novel because this is a pose that just released in cpm’s settings today! so im happy i managed to implement it. it is a bit buggy because the arms dont always go exactly to the surface of the water, they do this even when the torso is well above or well below the surface. oh well, it looks cool :3

climbing! ahhh this looks way better than i thought it would. i might add some bobbing to the body and head but god im so tired right now. expect that in ver 1.1! (i hope). there’s also a seperate anim for standing still on a ladder but its a bit buggy in the model viewer so uh. imagine her standing on a ladder here.

sitting! awww look at her. so polite :) this plays whenever riding something, like a horse or minecart, and actually looks surprisingly good! might tweak the legs at some point. i should also mention there’s some new animations for taking damage and dying which were a lot of fun. there’s the ability to add specific animations depending on the damage type which would be fun!

so: now i have to get to the bad bits. it sucks, but there’s some things i cannot implement because cpm is just like that. some little things im just not doing but maybe might do in the future, like the anim for using a goat horn, and there’s some items that are just bugged and unfixable. the spyglass is one of them, despite me making an animation for it, it doesn’t play properly so uh. that sucks :( also the major one, elytra does not work!!! yeah ik thats so homophobic. you CAN use it but because of a bug in cpm the elytra can’t be synced to body movements so itll look really buggy. i also didn’t configure any flying animation for that reason so... sorry about that. there’s some minor bugs like the transition from jumping to falling not being smooth which ive mentioned before, the arms not syncing up super great to some movement, and pretty much using any item with a specific animation while running is broken. running while holding a crossbow or charging a bow makes the head float in the air in front of the model, which just kinda sucks.

plans for the future? definetly fixing up some bugs, adding some more movement to the hair and tail depending on animations. i skipped out on that a bit just to get the first version of these done so i could use them. elytra, definetly when that becomes possible. also specialized poses depending on damage type and making toggleable swing animations depending on what tool you’re using. i also need to work more on the bettercombat-parcool model since thats completely different and will need a lot of parts transfered over to it.

overall, the model is not for sale yet!!! but please, if you’re interested in purchasing her, message me! contact me on discord @ sojourner#2353 because im much more likely to see it there. i will keep updates on how its going but hopefully the next one should be ver. 1.1 which will be actually up for sale!!! see you guys then!!!

[j2zara]

5, 14, 17, 20 (from any of the lj3 fics...?), 23, 31 for the fic ask :3 :)

I’m blabbing, and i’m at peace with that.

5. What’s something you learned while researching a fic?

You overestimate the amount of work i put into things when i could just accept that i make bad decisions. I won’t lie, when it comes to fic i let a LOT of contrivances slide or i just narrow my scope so i don’t have to look up stuff. I swear i do research but i tend to fall down rabbitholes that will distract me from getting anything done fjeklwaje. Looking up random shit about DND is how i learned wayyyy too much about the sorcery class tho it was so funny. And then i realized i made a mistake and sorcery points can only get you so many levels in spells without just completely wiping you of spell slots so the clones can’t actually use teleport but like. Artistic liberties i guess.

14. What makes you happiest? New fic comments, kudos, bookmarks, user subscribers, story subscribers, or Tumblr asks?

I mean, i enjoy literally anytime people go out of their way to read my stuff! esp if they say something nice bc i know being on the other end of that can be kinda nervewracking and feel like a lot of pressure, but i do feel like the obvious answer is comments lol. Tumblr asks are fun but answering them is a lot of pressure, and i do feel bad when i let them sit. (and sometimes i let them sit for months on end, oops). And there is something really sweet when you see someone has left something nice in the tags, or if they say something about the fic when they bookmark it, but yeah. Comments do just help a bit with morale.

That being said, i know i’ve dug my own grave in that i’ve fallen into such a small hyperniche of basically just liking my own semi-OCs that i’m trying to be cool about knowing its hard to get ppl to care abt the things to make. In a way thats like, i get it, i’ve been on the other end of it, life happens, people get busy, their interests change, and even if i want to care, it’s hard to understand someone’s OCs in the way they do. Anyway, hits, kudos, taking the time to read my stuff it all means something to me, i know that’s a bit schmaltzy but idc i'm feeling kinda fragile rn so i do mean it

17. What is something you recently felt proud of in your writing?

Honestly i’ve been really down on my stuff, i know i keep joking that like i’ll reread my old stuff and be like “oh this is fire so sad the writer has a piano dropped on her head” which is true, but its mainly bc i just write in a way that i like but i also know its very indulgent and not in step with like what is considered good, at least i don’t think. Last thing i wrote was so short and indulgent just for me, which is so funny to think about that im like. Yeah the 2k fic where they cuddle for a little while in the indulgence, not the 50k of smut i banged out over the summer in a weird fervor… 

I think it’s just hard to think of something and like. Be nice to myself i guess, bc this new thing, i kinda just wrote it bc sometimes you gotta throw the blorbos through hurt/comfort just to feel something lol, i really extra didn’t care about craft i let it be kinda just for me. I guess I think I’m good at imbuing a story with, like, an emotional throughline? If things feel too mechanical, I really do try to make sure the characters motivations are the reasons they do anything and tether it to like, conflicting desires i guess?. I don’t think this is the best version, i’ve done it better, but like, it works.

20. Share your favorite kiss scene from [insert fic]. If there's no kiss scene, share your favorite moment of intimacy (romantic or platonic)

I think you said anything LJ3 so i’m gonna go with the ending of Say What You Mean:

"Friends, El. I promise. Starting—"  He's distracted by the way she's biting her lip. For some reason, she's staring hard at him. "Wait—" says El, and he's struck by the note of panic in her voice as she surges forward. "El—!" He can feel her hand caressing his jaw, and then—a quiet, pathetic mmph of surprise as his mouth is stopped by a real and good proper kiss that he wishes could go on forever. There's the peace he's been longing for. (He wonders—if this means that he's as hard to give up for her as she is for him.) Finally, Ellie parts from him. Their foreheads touch, still practically breathing in each other's air. Selfishly, J3 thinks to himself, maybe she's going to cave, tearfully take him back, tell him it's all been a mistake, that she can't live without him, that he's Hers, he's always been Hers— "Okay. Friends," says J4. "Starting... now."

The first kiss in Stay / Leave is fine but i think it’s hard to convey something momentous like that, IMO i think describing kissing or really anything physical but esp kissing can read really mechanical and underwhelming? So it's this one. I know it's a bit cheesy, and imo i think i’ve disrupted the pacing a bit but idc. I know everything’s practically been scrubbed but when were joking about the “no kissing when they’re FWB” thing, obviously that’s funny but i realized i was shutting myself off from an avenue of expression of intimacy so the story kinda became about how they came to that decision? There’s something like, funny and bittersweet and sad all at once about LJ3 desperately wanting to care for each other and be vulnerable with each other so they keep prolonging how long they can get away with that before they start drawing lines. And since it takes place before Stay / Leave i was like. Well. I can’t have them progress too far in their relationship, overwise it undercuts their real moment of clarity in Stay / Leave. 

Anyway, if i struggle with something in a story, like well i can’t make them progress in their relationship b/c that would ruin stay / leave, usually i realize then the story should just be About that (Biggest Lie too is like. Oh J3 and Porter have absolutely NOTHING interesting or unique to say to each other? That’s the problem with their relationship then). So its like. Oh, so this a story about people standing still! They should be acting cold to each other given their circumstances, but it just doesn’t feel write to depict them being cold to each other, so its about how they’re actually really bad at being mad at each other jfklejalfa

(Also i love when J3 sucks just a little bit. Like he sucks! Why would you break Ellie’s heart and hope she comes crawling back to you. He sucks. I love him,)

23. What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

I’m gonna cheat in that i might have like a 200 work doc somewhere starting Solesian Play AU (aka the one where LJ3 steals porter’s godhood from the luxury sex object prison dimension) but like it’s not REALLY started… i think the momentum for that one is lost but idk maybe i’ll be able to re-psych myself into it, but in my mind it would be an ambitious project.

ALso I’m like. One chapter into Unnamed LJ3 Reincarnation project so it technically doesn’t count. But its basically nonexistent. The idea of Ellie going to Aguefort to get research on reincarnation so she can find her best friend and her soulmate is just a fun concept tho! I don't want it to get away from me even if the initial momentum has passed, which SUCKS. The way i’ve been motivating myself to write it is by pretending im writing a fic for like my 2.5 friends. But life is soooooo getting in the way.

31. What fic meant the most to you to write?

it feels like a copout to say everything  but i do kinda feel like everything in cloneverse is like collective work rather than individual pieces. It is hard to pick tho, I think the only one that like, i think is good but I don’t really have any sentimental attachment to is Biggest Lie, but there’s an argument for If You Yant Divinity, Almost, Stay / Leave, and Say What You Mean. (And While You Were Sleeping tbh its not AS sentimental but it does mean something to me to prove to myself i can still like. Write). 

Anyway. It’s funny bc i’m so not in the headspace i was in when i was like so captivated by starbreaker (but it has been a little fun to recapture the love loses energy where they’re both so evil for Unnamed LJ3 Reincarnation Project in a way that does get me to care about them a little. I’m still fascinated by anyone who can get doomed by god and God). But also If You Want Divinity was something that meant a lot at the time and I am really proud of it, it’s harder to look back on now but i do think the flashback memory tunnel Detect Thoughts + Teleport still succeeds at being emotionally resonant.

And. There’s some things i would maybe change about Almost but i do think it’s special. Even if i think it could’ve been more fleshed out the succinct version is still evocative, at least I hope. I really did set out to prove that the clones were characters capable of evoking Pathos and i do think or hope I succeeded. I know i clown on blue a lot these days and he’s a bit of a forgotten child bc of LJ3 but i swear i really do love him, he’s easy to love, and it is funny to think of a time when i was like. No. I’m not making more clones. I won’t do it.

Stay / Leave and Say What You Mean feel a bit joined at the hip, it's hard to separate them in my mind, and i do think they belong together. Idk why, I have a lot of sentimental value placed on Say What You Mean not for any real reason, i think it just makes me feel that way bc its such a sentimental piece, but ultimately Say What You Mean maybe means slightly less to me bc Stay / Leave was the first time i realized like. Wait. Are LJ3 like. In love??? And for the way it changed the timeline forever that's gotta count for something, right.

[emanonyourstruly]

University, Life, Girlfriend, Yearning, Booze and Everything Else

my first time back to university is next week-ish. more like second week of uni. I am really excited tho. I still need a purse that will hold my laptop. a cunty one like gossip girl. Alsoooo gotta romanticise university so give me your tricks into studying and tolerating commuting there lol.

my life is pretty great right now since my 21st birthday just passed. Ive been getting drunk or high every day and I'm getting it out of the way before university. I love being alone and relaxing. you know what would make this experience even better?! having my own place oh yeahhhh~~ that is very unrealistic at the moment I'm not going to lie. 4 classes and a job ill go to 3 times a week doesn't sound appealing. living at home isn't so bad cuz i got a car, free food free room free everything. I even got enough freedom like whatever.

my girlfriend who isnt my girlfriend is getting increasingly frustrated at me and i can tell because i haven't been giving. I was unemployed forever. I can finally treat herrrr and play games with her

Ughhhh moving out and having my own freedom especially with the love of my lifeeeee(girlfriend whos not really my girlfriend). my cat cuddling with me and peace and quiet <3 and then having my friends over + parties. all of the drinks ill make

booze. wym i can flash my id and theyll hand me liquor?! I'm obsessed with watching pretty cocktail videos. making it would be so fun too. me + my future apartment + peace.

I want to learn to be grateful for what i have. I rarely do maintnance on myself anymore and i can see bugs in my system. what am i grateful for right now? what troubled me recently that got solved?

the fact that i still had a vertical ID annoyed me because I didn't like how i looked in it. it came in a few days ago and im told that i look cute in it so thats a plus

i was unemployed for mooonths and i finally got a job right before i drowned in debt. I used to feel worthless and I was less than happy not being able to spend any money. Tim Hortons is also such an easy job. Lazy girlies, if you like Papa's Freezeria, you're gonna love how simple it is working there as long as it is in a corner that people don't really go into. I don't do drivethrough unless I wanna hand things out at the window which is easy. The only hard part for me is waking up at 5:30 am(but i get the rest of the day to myselfff). It really worked out for me

I got some really nice gifts that i will for sure use. especially the planner and airbrush that my bestie got for me.

my mom makes really good food at home and she makes an effort to keep the house clean at all times. I mopped and broomed for her today and i felt accomplished

i really did have fomo during my semester break but i have to remember that i wouldn't have been able to enjoy my 21st if i was at school. I am also grateful that i can go back because i got my federal grant back. I am so locked in for next semester.

finally finding new music to listen to because i was losing my mind over the lack of variety i have been listening to.

finding good manhwas to indulge in before the semester begins so i don't get attached while trying to study.

the annoying pile of clothes and accessories that was constantly moving back and forth from my bed to my chair is finally put away in their proper spots. I even mopped my room twice this week

there's probably more but I cant think of them right now. I guess I should reflect on my behavior because my bitterness and jealously lingered for too long without me addressing it. i fear they have already been internalized. Joji plz heal meeee~ Anyway it's time to wrap this up because I want to think of my new years resolutions hehe yes i still do them dont judge me.

bye bye loves<3

[qualityempathshoebear]

18th Birthday and Obsessions

Im 18; an adult. Thats fun I think. I honestly dont feel much different than I did yesterday. Today was whatever; my mom and brother said happy birthday. My dad and sister did not. Im not sure if my dad said it and I just didnt hear It but ill make sure tmr. My sister absolutely did not say happy birthday which im honestly happy about. I dont need that insidious energy.

I hope 18 is a year of success, freedom, fun, love and new opportunities and experiences.

I spent the day watching a movie actually! I watched Barbarian (Check letterboxd for a super short review lol). But dont worry Im planning on celebrating at this restaurant in the city with some friends. Some I would consider more friends than others. Im also inviting the friend of boy 2 (you know, the one that "set us up"). I want to get her drunk (in a consensual way obviously) and hope that she spills some tea on him. I have a feeling that hes talking to this one black girl that goes to journalism club at my school and who is also friends with this one gay boy (not relevant) in my class. I actually went to poland with him and the girl that set me up with boy 2. Anyway, the reason I think theyre talking is becaue he has been liking her letterboxd reviews and follows her now (although he didnt like her most recent review).

Also, UGHH I think im going crazy. Im lowkey obsessed with boy 2 even though he has had me on opened for 10 weeks (well I guess i technically left him on opened in a way). Ive gone as far as to make fake letterboxd accounts pretending to be my "friends" from back home (im using their photos and names lol; i think that may be a crime actually lol) and have been commenting back and forth with myself to make him jealous. AKA, Im absolutely losing my fucking mind. I wish he had tried harder and seemed more interested because I would honestly have loved to give it another shot in another world. There is just no way I can handle a boy rn. Im still not over it, even though its been so long and i technically ended it. Its affected my academics and my procrastination and lack of care has gotten worse. Two days ago I handed in my application for my dream uni and halfassed the applicaiton (did it all in like 1 hour) and missed out on two full essays. There is absolutly NO WAY im getting in there now and ive just wasted an early decision application. Im sort of just ignoring the fact that I did that because I cant afford to fall into a depressive state with mock exams two weeks away.

Note: I hope we wont have to talk about boy 2 again but If i do ill start referring to him as "LK".

Thank you so much for being here, loca (haha twilight reference). Bye sexy!! and until next time :)

OMG ALSO JUST REMEMBERED! IM SO OVER CEASER SALAD I HAVE NOT THOUGHT OF HIM AT ALLLLLLL! AND HES WITH SOME GIRL I THINK. HONESTLY GOOD FOR HIM!!!