#im gonna tell the truth. no way lies leads to a good ending

[leos-soggy-wolf-nuts]

do i tell the truth...or lie...

[favefandomimagines]

Fools Gold (r.c.)

Summary: how much are you worth to rafe and his friends?

AN: sorry the new obx pics that were posted inspired me to write an angsty af rafe fic also thinking about doing this same concept with JJ.

again, the rafe i write is not canon. he’s just a dick most of the time.

You weren’t friends with Rafe Cameron. There wasn’t any parallel universe where the two of you would be friends.

He despised you because you chose a life with the Pogues over a life with the Kooks. But he didn’t seem to have as big of a problem with Kie as he had with you.

You couldn’t figure out why he disliked you more than anyone on the island. You figured it had to do with the fact that he didn’t like the fact that everyone knew he slept with a Pogue.

Once upon a time, you lost your virginity to Rafe. After realizing how he acted towards you, you didn’t really know why. But at the time, you felt safe with him. Better him than some random tourist at a party.

But after you and Kie made the grand transition from Kook to Pogue, he never spoke to you again. And when he did, would he some mean and snarky comment that you tried not to let get to you. But a person can only take so much before the words start to stick.

—

You were at a Boneyard party with your friends, you and Kie talking about the upcoming beach cleanup the two of you were planning. You were minding your own business but you could feel a pair of eyes burning into the back of your head.

“Dude, $500 you can’t get Y/N to go out with you and stay with her for 6 months.” Topper bet the older boy. “$500? That’s it? To get Y/N to go out with me?” Rafe laughed. “Yeah, it should be an easy $500 right?” Topper asked.

Rafe thought about it for a moment, deciding if he was really that bad of a person to lead you on like that. He didn’t really hate you as much as he said. He was just hurt that you felt he wasn’t good enough to stick around for.

“It’s a bet. $500 in 6 months.” Rafe finally said. The two Kooks shook hands and Rafe’s fixation landed on you.

You were standing with Kiara by the fire, drinking your hand, clearly talking about something you were passionate about. Rafe noticed that whenever you talked about something you loved, you talked with your hands ten times more than you did normally.

He assumed you were talking about the ocean or something like that with how big your smile was.

Rafe then put on his asshole Kook facade and began to approach you. “Hey, Y/L/N!” He called. You took one look at him and instantly rolled your eyes.

“Can we help you?” Kie asked him. “I need to talk to Y/N. Alone if that’s not a problem with you.” Rafe sassed the girl. Kie looked at you, almost a nonverbal way of asking if you’d be okay alone.

You gave her a small nod and she reluctantly walked away. “What do you want, Rafe?” You sighed. “Go out with me.” He said. “What?” You questioned. “Go out with me. We can go somewhere on the mainland or somewhere local. Wherever you like.” He explained.

You couldn’t help but let out a small laugh before you realized he wasn’t joking. “You’re serious?” You asked. “Yeah, I’m serious.” Rafe answered. “Sorry if I have a hard time believing you want to go out with me after you’ve treated me.” You said.

“I was a dick. I’ll make it up to you. Just give me a chance.” Rafe replied. You looked at him for a moment, being very wary about the whole offer. “Okay. One date and if I even so much as a sense a stupid practical joke, I’m out.” You finally said.

Rafe smiled down at you before slowly backing up. “Great. I’ll pick you up, Friday at 6.” He said.

You had no idea what just happened. Rafe Cameron asked you out? And he actually seemed to mean it?

And to say the date went well was a total understatement for both you and Rafe. You both had an amazing time together, exploring the mainland and not having to worry about the Kook v. Pogue prejudice.

In the 6 months Rafe had been with you, he soon realized there wasn’t a single thing he didn’t love about you. He loved how you would dance around to your indie and alternative music as if no one was watching.

How you dragged him to the beach to watch the baby turtle eggs hatch. Even though he said he didn’t want to, he’d go anywhere if you asked.

Rafe also loved how you loved life in general. You didn’t care about the class system on the Outer Banks, you just cared about the people you loved. Your dad, your brother, the Pogues, and now Rafe.

Which made him feel even worse about the bet. It was nearing 6 months and Rafe knew he couldn’t just end it with you. He knew how that would hurt you. So he called Topper and asked him to call the whole thing off.

“Maybe we should just end the whole thing. You can have your money and we can call it off.” Rafe said over the phone.

“You aren’t going soft are me now are you?” Topper mocked. “No, I’m just saying this bet is stupid. It’s too easy now.” Rafe lied. “I’ll double it. $1,000 if you can make it to 6 months with Y/N.” Topper said.

Rafe hadn’t known you were going to come over so early so he thought he had time to talk to Topper. But you were standing out in the hallway in front of his door, listening to the whole thing.

“Wow, $1,000. Only an idiot would turn that down.” You sneered. Rafe turned around with wide eyes before quickly hanging up the phone. “H-How much did you hear?” He asked. “All of it.” You answered. “So you asking me out that night was a stupid bet? And our entire relationship has been a lie?” You asked, your voice raising.

“No, Y/N, let me explain.” Rafe pleaded. “Why should I? I think you and Topper explained everything perfectly. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you. I’ve just been a huge joke you and your friends could laugh about.” You said.

Rafe began to walk towards you but you talking a couple steps back made it very clear you didn’t want him coming near you.

“We’re done, Rafe. I hope you enjoy the money.” You said sadly before you left his bedroom. When you walked into the hall, you saw Sarah standing a little ways away, but you knew she heard everything. “Did you know?” You asked her. “Of course not. I had no idea he was doing this for money.” She answered.

“Everything was a lie. I-I really thought he cared about me.” You spoke quietly, the tears welling up in yours eyes.

Sarah frowned and pulled you into a warm embrace. She couldn’t help but feel guilty since it was her brother who was causing you so much pain. “I know we were supposed to hang out tonight but I think Im just gonna head home.” You said.

She didn’t want you driving home in the state you were in but she also knew that you being alone was what was best for you.

When you arrived home, you avoided your father’s questions like they were the plague and made a b-line for your bedroom. But even then you couldn’t escape Rafe’s presence because everything reminded you of him. 

For weeks after you are Rafe broke up, you were a bit different. You didn’t really feel like yourself because you didn’t know what was real anymore. Finding out about the bet made you question everything and your self esteem took a pretty big hit. 

But you were good at faking it for the most part. You still hung out with the Pogues as if nothing was wrong.You went out to Boneyard parties, hung out with Kie, surfed with JJ, went shopping with Sarah. But you could only pretend so much. 

You were sitting on your surfboard in the water, JJ floating next to you as you two waited for a wave. 

“JJ, can I tell you something?” You asked him. “Of course, Y/N.” He said. “Rafe and I broke up. Apparently I was nothing but a cash grab for him.” You confessed. “What? What do you mean, cash grab?” He asked. “I was just a bet. Apparently Topper bet him $500 to go out with me and make it 6 months. I guess he was calling Topper to call off the bet but he offered him $1,000. I haven’t told anyone, only Sarah knows.” You explained. 

“You know he’s a moron, right? You’re not even worth $500, you’re priceless, Y/N and don’t let Rafe and his dickhead friends make you think any differently.” JJ said. 

You could tell that telling him the truth really riled him up but he never fought with Rafe for the sake of you. Your friendship was more important than wanting to knock Rafe flat on his ass.

“What are you going to do?” JJ asked. “I don’t know. I’m having a very hard time believing he faked everything the past 6 months but Rafe is pretty convincing when he wants to be. But am I really that stupid to think he actually cared about me?” You answered. 

“No, that doesn’t make you stupid. And what I’m about to say I will never admit to saying but what if Rafe actually did care about you? I mean, everyone knows his dad is always on his ass about money and he was going to turn it down for you.” JJ said. 

You sat quietly for a moment, watching the stillness of the water before looking back to JJ. “Are you saying I should talk to him?” You asked. “I’m saying maybe you owe yourself that much.” He answered. “Since when the hell did you become so insightful? Usually you’d tell me to beat him up or smash his car.” You laughed. 

“Well, this time I just want you to be happy. And as much as I hate to say it, he made you very happy.” JJ said. “I really don’t like it when you’re right.” You muttered. 

After a couple more minutes, you and JJ headed back to the beach and when you got there, Rafe was standing on the sand a few feet away from the shore line. 

You slowed your pace slightly as you made eye contact with him. You readjusted your grip on your board as you and JJ kept walking. “Y/N, hey, can I talk to you?” Rafe asked uncomfortably. 

You and JJ had never seen Rafe look less confident before until that moment. “JJ, I’ll meet you back at the Chateau.” You told the blonde. JJ nodded his head but not before giving Rafe a suspecting look as he walked away. 

“You wanted to talk?” You asked him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Y/N. I should’ve never taken that stupid bet in the first place. I-I guess I was holding a grudge against you before.” He said. “For what? I never did anything to you, Rafe.” You asked. “You left me. You chose the Pogues and the Cut over me. We were always friends before and then you and Kiara just decided it wasn’t good enough anymore. That I wasn’t good enough.” He explained. 

“I didn’t choose the Pogues because of you, Rafe, or over you. Figure 8 is toxic and everyone we used to hang out with was terrible and I couldn’t do that anymore. You were the one who froze me out after we slept together. Let’s not also forget that you faked our entire relationship.” You rebutted. 

“No, no, Y/N, I didn’t fake anything. Everything we had was real. You have no idea how it easy was to fall for you because you are amazing and I-I messed it up. I hurt you and I know it’s not going to make it better, but I’m sorry.” Rafe said. 

You pushed your board into the sand before sitting down in front of it and motioned for Rafe to do the same. 

“I was falling in love with you, Rafe. So to hear you and Topper just use me for your own sick enjoyment, broke my heart.” You started. “I defended you to everyone to just find out that they were right.” You finished. “You said ‘was.’ Like past tense.” Rafe spoke quietly. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you stared at the sunset. “I wish we could just move on, forget it ever happened but I don’t think we can.” You said. 

Rafe’s body stiffened and he hung his head low, not liking where the conversation was going.

“But, we can start over. Clean slate.” You added. The boy looked up at you, almost as if he thought you were kidding. “Really?” He asked. “Yeah, really. But, on a few conditions.” You said. “Anything, I will do anything.” He said. “You leave my friends alone. He’s going to kill me for saying this but JJ was actually the one who told me we should talk so you kind of owe him. Second, you let me punch Topper, very very hard.” You told him. 

Rafe laughed lightly at your words as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “Sounds like a plan.” He said. “Also, give me your phone.” You said. Rafe took his phone out of his pocket and gave it to you. 

He looked over your shoulder to see what you were doing as you opened the Venmo app. 

You pressed ‘pay and request’ and put Topper’s user name in. 

@TopperThornton: Pay $1,000 

Summary: congrats, i lost the bet. Y/N is worth so much more. she’s also gonna kick your ass 

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Rafe commented. You hummed in response, resting your head on his shoulder. Rafe pressed a light kiss on your forehead as the two of you watched the sunset together. 

[jackiearbs]

things that rwrb characters have said that i will never forget, a thread:

alex claremont-diaz, giving off dumbass™ energy (he has the most on this thread, for obvious reasons) 

- "put them in my room, put them in my room, put them in my room-" 

-  “Jesus Christ, it’s like they can see into your soul. cornbread knows my sins, Henry. cornbread knows what I have done, and he is here to make me atone.”   

- "do it for the 'gram"

- "leading member of korean pop band bts kim nam-june" 

- "whatever, fine. henry is annoyingly attractive. that’s always been a thing, objectively. it’s fine.”

- "see attached bibliography"

- "i said, you look great, baby!”

- "yo there’s a bond marathon on and did you know your dad was a total babe"

- "awesome, fuckin' love doing things out of spite.”

-”Huge Raging Headache Prince Henry of Who Cares”

-”it is amazing you can sit down to write emails with that gigantic royal stick up your ass.” 

- “who names a dog David? He sounds like a tax attorney.”

-” “Do I go on your side of the cubicle and turn off your Dropkick Murphys Spotify station, no matter how much I want to?” Alex demands. “No, Hunter, I don’t.”

- “for fuck's sake, man, you just had my dick in your mouth, you can kiss me good-night.”

- “Bake Off makes Chopped look like the fucking Manson tapes.”

- “THEY KNOW. THEY KNOW I HAVE ROBBED THEM OF FIVE-STAR ACCOMMODATIONS TO SIT IN A CAGE IN MY ROOM, AND THE MINUTE I TURN MY BACK THEY ARE GOING TO FEAST ON MY FLESH.”

- “You’re from Boston, Hunter. You really want to talk about all the places bigotry comes from?” (he really hates hunter goddamn) 

-”so, what? you want me to quit politics and go become a princess? that’s not very feminist of you.” 

hrh prince dickhead😎  - "the moment you first called me a prick, my fate was sealed. O, fathers of my bloodline! O, ye kings of olde! Take this crown from me, bury me in my ancestral soil. If only you had known the mighty work of thine loins would be undone by a gay heir who likes it when American boys with chin dimples are mean to him.”

-"“I’ve been gay as a maypole since the day I came out of Mum, Philip.”

-”i will turn this car around.”

- “yes, the cocaine, alex.” 

-”i am a delight!”

-”have i mentioned lately that you’re a demon?” 

- “are you psychoanalyzing me? i don't think royal guests are allowed to do that.”

- "i can't believe even mortal peril will not prevent you from being the way you are.”

-“the phrase ‘see attached bibliography��� is the single sexiest thing you have ever written to me.”

-"i just mean to say, you know, Philip is the heir and I'm the spare, and if that nervy bastard has a heart attack at thirty five and I've got malaria, whither the spare?”

- “they wanted something less fruity than the truth, but truly, what is gayer than a woman who languishes away in a crumbling mansion wearing her wedding gown every day of her life, for the drama?”

- “You are a delinquent and a plague. Please come?”

- “fat and sexually conquered, snuffed out in the spring of my youth. Here lies Prince Henry of Wales. He died as he lived: avoiding plans and sucking cock.”

june:  “- that is a clear quartz crystal for good vibes do not @ me.” 

- “He’s just so frail, it’d only take one good push-”

- “ugh! men! no emotional vocabulary. i can’t believe our ancestors survived centuries of wars and plagues and genocide just to wind up with your sorry ass.” 

nora: 

-”sorry, are we not? did i skip ahead again? my bad. hello, would you like to come out to me? im listening. hi.” 

“prince henry is a biscuit. let him sop you up.”  

- “you’ve been, like, Draco Malfoy–level obsessed with Henry for years.”

- “i don’t know, man. I was in my junior year of high school, and I touched a boob. It wasn’t very profound. Nobody’s gonna write an Off-Broadway play about it.”

dahra: 

- “You need to get back to fucking England now, and if anyone sees you leave, I will personally end you. Ask me if I’m afraid of the crown.”

- “both sides need to come out of this looking like your little slap-fight at the wedding was some homoerotic frat bro mishap, okay? So, you can hate the heir to the throne all you want, write mean poems about him in your diary, but the minute you see a camera, you act like the sun shines out of his dick, and you make it convincing.”

-”come on, you backyard-shooting-range motherfuckers,”

ellen (should i say PRESIDENT claremont) 

- “Diaz, you insane, hopeless romantic little shit"

-  “I had Planned Parenthood send over all these pamphlets, take one! They sent a bike messenger and everything!”

- ”where? Are you hiding a turkey habitat up your ass, son? Where, in our historically protected house, am I going to put a couple of turkeys until I pardon them tomorrow?”

-“As your mother, I can appreciate that maybe this isn’t your fault, but as the president, all I want is to have the CIA fake your death and ride the dead-kid sympathy into a second term.”

PEZ !!!

- “frolic naked in the hills, frighten the sheep, return to the house for the usual: tea, biscuits, casting ourselves onto the Thighmaster of love to moan about the Claremont-Diaz siblings, which has become tragically one-sided since Henry took it up with you. It used to be all bottles of cognac and shared malaise and ‘When will they notice us’-” 

-”-and now i just ask henry, ‘what is your secret?’ and he says, ‘i insult alex all the time, and that seems to work.’” 

**extra: nicer quotes from alex and henry 

alex heartthrob diaz  - "never tell me the odds"

-"we were not afforded that liberty."

-“I hate this so much. I know. But we’re gonna do it together. And we’re gonna make it work. You and me and history, remember? We’re just gonna fucking fight. Because you’re it, okay? I’m never gonna love anybody in the world like I love you. So, I promise you, one day we’ll be able to just be, and fuck everyone else.”

- “On purpose. I love him on purpose.”

- “history, huh? Bet we could make some.”

- “But the truth is, also, simply this: love is indomitable.”

-“Take anything you want and know you deserve to have it.”

- “Someone else’s choice doesn’t change who you are.”

- “I am the First Son of the United States, and I'm bisexual. History will remember us.”

- “America: He is my choice.”

- “Give yourself away sometimes, sweetheart, There's so much of you.”

- the entire list of the things he loves about henry. i would die 

henry: 

-”i’ll be damned but i miss you.” 

- “when you rang me at truly shocking hours of the night, I loved you. When you kissed me in disgusting public toilets and pouted in hotel bars and made me happy in ways in which it had never even occurred to me that a mangled-up, locked-up person like me could be happy, I loved you. and then, inexplicably, you had the absolute audacity to love me back. Can you believe it?”

- “it sounds like you did your best.”

- “I’ve bloody well had it. I’ve sat about long enough letting you and Gran and the weight of the damned world keep me pinned, and I’m finished. I don’t care. You can take your legacy and your decorum and you can shove it up your fucking arse, Philip. I’m done.”

- “Should I tell you that when we’re apart, your body comes back to me in dreams? That when I sleep, I see you, the dip of your waist, the freckle above your hip, and when I wake up in the morning, it feels like I’ve just been with you, the phantom touch of your hand on the back of my neck fresh and not imagined? That I can feel your skin against mine, and it makes every bone in my body ache? That, for a few moments, I can hold my breath and be back there with you, in a dream, in a thousand rooms, nowhere at all?”

[floatinginwords]

Saved by the Devil (2/?) - Tommy Shelby

Summary: You work for Sabini now and life is manageable. Until one night when the Eden Club is turned upside down.

Paring: Tommy Shelby X fem!reader (not romantic..yet)

A/N: this chapter was alot of fun writing. Hope anyone who reads enjoys and has a good day. 

 You didn’t know which was worse being kept in an asylum against your will or working for Sabini. The day he put you in his car, you had thought the worse of the man. He questioned you thoroughly and you lied through your teeth the whole time. He was easier to read than Thomas Shelby. You could tell what he believed and didn’t which helped with whatever you needed to embellish and sell to the man. By the end of the car ride, he brought you to his club Eden. Aside from the workers who either cleaned or lounged in the back, it was empty.

“Stay here.” He commanded leaving you alone amongst strangers.

  And for 2 weeks, you stayed. The strangers soon becoming friends and acquaintances who would help feed you, cloth you, and shelter you. Nights when the Eden was officially open they allowed you to work as a waitress. Trinity, the first girl to befriend you, showed you the tricks and shortcuts around the place. Soon it was like you’ve always worked there. Until Sabini came back one morning.

“Your fathers dead.” He stated.

You wondered if Thomas Shelby had anything to do with that or coincidences were just in play.

“I’ll be honest with ya, I was gonna planning on telling him I had you. He would have wanted you alive or dead. It wouldn’t have mattered to me. Nothing against you sweetheart, its just business.”

 Your teeth grind together as you bite your tongue from saying something that would get you a bullet between the eyes.

 “But now that’s gone to shit now that your pops gone got himself killed. But now I gotta know what im gonna do with you.” He says eyeing you up and down.

 “What do you mean?” You ask, wary of his stares. 

 “Trinity tells me you handle yourself good around here,” He gestures to the club, “And I know you’ve done work for your old man. You can handle a weapon?”

 “Of course.” You say.

 “Then we’ll be in touch. Enjoy your job.” He smirks, sending shivers up your spine.

    The next year of your life was you working at the Eden club, serving and entertaining guest while dealing with people who were either drunk or high off their faces. Sometimes Sabini would need you accompany him to parties or meetings as his date. He would describe it as you being his second pair of eyes. And you would do your job as being distractingly beautiful (which was quite easy with the dresses he would send you to wear) while gathering information off allies and enemies, helping Sabini whenever the chance. It wasn’t like you had a choice in the matter. The guy was basically your boss. And you were learning to deal with him. Because most of the time he wasn’t all that bad. Except on nights when he wanted to celebrate getting blank out drunk and a bit handsy. He wouldn’t go any further than an unwanted touch on the shoulder or thigh. You feared the alcohol would make him braver but so far it hasn’t.

      Trinity and you grew closer over the year. Her being the only friend that would remain. The other growing jealous at the unwanted favoritism Sabini seemed to give you. Tonight he wasn’t here. And the Eden club was as full as ever. The band was playing its tenth loudest song in the row, not breaking a sweat. People dancing on the dance floors, snorting cocaine off of tables, making out in dark corners, and drinking like their livers could handle the poison. It was out of control. The guest yell at you from all different directions asking for all types of fucking drinks that no mind could handle.

        You bring a bottle of whiskey to one of the tables, you couldn’t remember if it was what they wanted or not. But it was not like the pair were paying attention. You could see the woman with her hand down the mans pants but the man’s sight was trained on something across the room. You rolled your eyes, ‘no man is ever satisfied’ you thought to yourself. And as you walked away you noticed another table of men staring in the exact same direction. You turn your head, searching for what you can only assume was a problem.

         It doesn’t take long for you to spot him. It would take years for to forget his face let alone those eyes. And though you hadn’t thought about him in a long time, he looked the exact same from when you both sat inside his car. He sat at table with two other men dressed similarly to him. The other two man drank and talked to each other while Thomas simply observed. He seemed to know that a bunch of eyes were all on him. You don’t know how long you were staring until his eyes meet yours. For the first time since last year he actually looks off guard for a moment. But he quickly reassess himself. You watch him as he walks up from the table heading towards you. The men watching and glaring at him don’t take their eyes off him.

“Funny seeing you here.” He says standing side by side to you. His back to the wall, eyes watching everything in front of him.

 “Were you hoping to piss off someone tonight?” You say, your filter always seeming to want to come off at the worst of time.

 “So you’ve noticed them too,” He mumbles, “What are you doing here?” He asks.

 “I work here.”

 “You know who owns this place-“

 “yes, Sabini.”

 He tilts his head to the side and furrows his brow. You shift your weight under his stare.

 “Its funny, for someone who longs for freedom you sure have a way of getting yourself trapped all the time.” He finally says drinking from his cup as if was nothing.

       A mix of hurt and anger heat up within you. You don’t meet his eyes as you try to find the words to speak. You can’t because there’s truth in his words. The silence is prolonged, you wonder why he even came to speak to you. You eye Alastair, the guy in charge when Sabini wasn’t around, heading to the table where Thomas’s friends sat. You see the men staring at the two of you looking angrier and angrier by the second.

“I think you should head back to your friends.” You walkaway before you hear what his reply.

He calls out your name but you keep going ready to busy yourself with some useless task. Trinity gives you a look as you come beside her polishing the glasses with her not saying a word. She liked to joke a lot about how much you liked to talk. Your head was almost empty with echoes of his damging words. Almost

  Were you just a bird more accustomed to a cage? You had always dreamed of travels and adventure. Love and family but it seems the path that you always end up on leads to none of that. It just leads to surviving. That’s not living.

BANG

  You flinch at the noise of the gunshot the rest of the club screaming and jumping down in fright. You see Alastair standing at the top of the stage with a double shotgun in hand. The whole club goes silent. All eyes go to where the commotion had started. Men bloody on the floor.  Thomas Shelby and his two allies standing tall.

 “Get out.” Alastair says holding his gun firmly to the men.

Trinity whispers in your ear, “They saw you talking to them.”

 “We came here not to make enemies no we came here to make new friends” Tommy says loudly. his friend with the mustache kicking the shit out of .some poor guy on the floor.

 You turn to Trinity, “It wasn’t anything serious.”

  “I don’t think it mattered. Those are the Peaky Blinders. And they just started a war in Sabini territory.”

Read Pt.3

[ninakaina]

why do you like maria kaina so much? ì'm just really curious.

this is the most exciting question i’ve ever gotten in my life

[image id: a screencap from the pathologic wiki, which says “personality: femme fatale.”] 

EDIT: im gonna make this into a video essay sooooooo read it if you want or stay tuned for a video in like a week and a half

first of all, i’m a lesbian and she’s a goth girl. secondly, she combines many of the tropes that i adore in female characters, and i’ll try to get into some of it as concisely as i can. in short: femme fatale, magic woman, scary woman, cassandra, sublime. i’m going to draw some concepts from the essay “the woman in the red dress: sexuality, femmes fatales, the gaze and ada wong” by jenny platz in the beginning here.

in the scope of their function as femmes fatales and the ways they transcend the typical boundaries placed on femmes fatales, ada wong resident evil and maria have a lot of similarities beyond obvious similarities in design (you can see patterns forming in my interests but also if you don’t know anything about ada this should still all make sense). so we’re all on the same page, a femme fatale is a woman of dubious morals and unknown or false motives who uses her sexuality and wit to get what she wants from men. the femme fatale has a long, uncertain, and pervasive history, and a love-hate relationship with the misogynistic writers/audiences/societies that create her, but ada and maria break free of many of the tropes that allow the femme fatale to be part of a misogynist power fantasy. together they have functionally very similar relationships to their male protagonists, although i wouldn’t say maria cares about daniil half as much as ada cares about leon if at all, in which they’re more than willing to lie to the men and put them in harm’s way to achieve their own unclear ends, while serving an essential function in keeping them alive, often without their knowledge (in the changeling route, maria sends daily letters to clara to keep daniil from getting murdered by artemy).  they add an element of unease verging on horror to their games through their sheer power - which stems from a weaponized womanhood, the player’s unfolding understanding of the vastness and nature of their power, and the fact that you have no idea what they’re going to do with it. the weaponized womanhood is relevant here because in theory, to a male audience, it adds its own level of horror, but to me it adds a level of love.

like ada too, and unlike the typical femme fatale of books and movies even in the modern era, maria is never purified or punished; in fact, she only becomes more powerful over the course of the game. her death can only come via the plague; there are no plotlines where she may die. even when she’s caught red-handed by artemy in patho 2, he has two options: to tell her father, who is unlikely to stop her and even less likely to punish her, or to note that this is maria’s world and we’re all just living in it and move on. in classic she can get married at the end, but not for love and it’s made explicitly clear that her husband’s role is to serve her, like victor served nina; instead of finally conforming to a patriarchal mold like the archetype would predict, she again uses a man to advance her agenda. (she still deserves better though. killallvlads2020)

another similarity between maria and ada that’s also the biggest way they diverge, is their expanded power of body over the typical femme fatale. where typically the femme fatale is just a wickedly smart, sexy woman (good for her), she has little power beyond the sexualization of her body, and little recourse when she’s in danger besides getting a man to help her out of it. the way this is subverted is the most obvious in ada, so it’s a good lead-in; her power of body also translates into fighting skills greater than that of most of her peers-- she uses acrobatics and melee attacks more often than other characters, making her distinctly equipped to survive without anyone’s help and destroy her opposition. maria, obviously, is not a fighter, and she’d die immediately if she was locked in a police station with zombies, so at first glance she seems to fall more into the wicked damsel aspect of the trope. but thematically and functionally, pathologic is not a game about physical fighting or even physical power. in a game world where guns and bullets are exceedingly rare while information (as well as picking truth out of lies) is the form of power that gets characters to the end alive, maria has, in herself, the access to more information than any male character. aside from mark’s (and grief’s) special role as the fool, clairvoyance and particularly mistresshood are specific to women, and come to maria from the steppe. she’s also “sensitive to lies and deceptions” and “can instantly see one’s true colors”. she is shown barefoot in pathologic 2, which symbolizes her personal and physical connection to the wild earth, a power of body in itself. maria and ada are both apex predators, perfectly suited to their particular environments and narratives- on that note, maria is never endangered at all, aside from typical plague mechanics and distress in her issues with aglaya.

okay, enough about ada wong. beyond her connection to the femme fatale trope, maria’s narrative in itself also draws on a really compelling archetype. i mentioned that maria is never purified or punished, nor really endangered, but  that doesn’t mean her story is without tragedy. instead, her tragedy is more personal and psychological, as she’s one of several characters who deal in the theme of lost childhood, and maria’s particular refrain has a hint of lost humanity. these are characters who are forced to grow up, often too fast, and for whom growing up carries an inherent trauma where some aspect of who they were or who they could have been is ripped away from them. i would also call maria and capella’s stories lost girlhood, since there’s a lot of... you know, it feels like stuff that mitski would sing about. i could talk for ages about “i can hear [your mother’s] voice [in you]” and how effectively it’s played for a bittersweet horror. in classic we are very clearly shown maria changing from who she is at the beginning, acting completely differently, and it’s left unclear as to whether this is simply the new maria or her mother’s spirit is literally possessing her (again, some obvious metaphor here). in pathologic 2, they make a change that i really love. maria has already taken up the mantle of mistress or at least claims she has and is in the process of change-- “a mistress in the making”, but it’s mentioned that artemy remembers her from before he left the town. 

he says “i remember when you were just a kid. who would have thought you’d grow into-- this?” if you read my writing, you may have picked up that i seriously fixate on this piece of her narrative. from when she was a girl (16 at the oldest) to when she’s 21, she’s changed so much as to be almost unrecognizable, and more than unrecognizable, she’s become a complete mystery, a nightmare. this is a tragic horror, in the sense that tragedy is horror that’s already happened. from the uncanny valley of the familiar turned unfamiliar, the creature-that-was-once-maria, the not-quite-nina, to that same sense of loss as someone who was once just a girl is forced to be more grown than she is and more grown than any person should be expected to be. as anna angel wears willow’s hair, maria wears her own. that one haruspex line asks a thousand, unsettling questions to which we can expect no answer. who was she before? who is she now? what happened to her? when did she change? what has she lost? what has she gained? is this who she wants to be? did pressure from her mother shape her, or grief over her mother’s death, or something else entirely? is this who she was always going to become, or could she have been something else? all of these and more lead into the central questions that define both the dark/scarlet mistress and monster movies: what is it?, what is it capable of?, and what does it want? these questions are, naturally, never answered, although it’s likely we’ll get a little more insight into her motives in the bachelor route of patho 2. 

stepping back from the specifics of mistresses, this again carries strong themes of coming of age and lost childhood/girlhood; the idea that in order to ascend so to speak and to take on role greater than you are, you have to either destroy yourself or be yourself destroyed. maria’s version of this story is, again, a tragedy. she is plagued by the stress of her destiny, haunted by nightmarish prophetic visions (which fucking DANKOVSKY doesn’t even BELIEVE), and completely alone, so much so that to express her love physically would destroy the object of her love, and yet she is still the incredible femme fatale i was talking about before. this is where i end up with the quote i captioned my painting of maria with: “a girl burns, and the sublime blossoms.”

i used the word sublime to describe maria twice in my writing, in that quote and in “her eyes are fierce, dark, sublime.” this is literally the best word i can come up with to describe the scarlet mistress, and the sublime is a big concept in aesthetic theory, but one which is hard to describe in itself. i try to portray elements of the sublime whenever i write or draw her although i’m not THAT good yet lol. it doesn’t have any physical or functional criteria except the feeling it causes (for a good example i think of the earthrise photo). this quote on the sublime, by edmund burke, feels very reminiscent of the way nina is described in game: “the passion caused by the great and sublime in nature, when those causes operate most powerfully, is astonishment, and astonishment is that state of the soul in which all its motions are suspended, with some degree of horror.” it’s awe-inspiring, it’s scary, it’s a force of nature, both refined and wild and personally impersonal, and it’s pretty much the only word i have for the iconic maria quote.... you know the one. “and you know, mother, that forge is me. sometimes i wake up with a burning in my chest, and the sky becomes crimson. in that very moment, if i kiss someone, they can see it too. it’s true.” 

one last thing i LOVE about maria is the power of self and autonomy she retains, especially in 2. in the diurnal ending as the utopians are planning to cross the river (which was her plan in classic), maria says she doesn’t want to; she wants to stay and create, not art or buildings but people, to bring them into the sublime. her cruelty is how she nurtures those around her, as opposed to capella whose nurturing is in many ways cruel. and it’s in the diurnal ending that we first hear the title “crimson mistress”; where in classic, nina was the scarlet mistress and maria became the scarlet mistress, in 2 nina was the dark mistress and maria becomes crimson. there is no question that she’s not her mother. after all she’s endured, she forges herself into something new, not necessarily brighter but more visceral, takes her mother’s legacy and makes it her own.

so i guess tldr: what’s not to like about maria kaina?

[fiveisnumber1]

Oh those teen!Penn scenarios are amazing. I definitely think it would be funny pre-Runaway Five cuz there's this kid who's a spitting image of Five and Reader and he has to pretend it's some big coincidence for as long as he can get away with it.

And post Runaway Five it would be just as funny cuz the Teen!UA have no perception of what's going to happen so Penn's very existence is shocking for them but also somewhat sad.

I feel they'd see his random ticks. Like he frowns and twitches in irritation the Exact same way Five does when he can't figure out a problem. And his laugh is exactly the same as Reader's to the point that Diego sometimes has a heart attack and runs into the parlor to find Reader but instead it's Penn there. And one time Vanya is making Five's nightly PB and M sandwiches and Penn is in the kitchen too and looking eagerly l and then her eyes fill with tears cuz he looks so much like Five did when making himself a sandwich; so eagerly childlike amidst his stoicness. It's the only thing young!Five allowed himself to enjoy so openly and Penn inherited his love of them too. So Vanya promises him she'll make him one too and Penn just BEAMS the way Reader used to when Vanya finished playing one of her new songs for her and Penn gives her a hug with a "Thanks Auntie V" and it's just so so hard for Vanya to not cry. And Ben comes across Penn bookmarking the pages in a book the same way Reader did and Penn looks at him with concern the same way she used to as well and he misses her so much because she understood him and he misses Five too because he was the only sibling that did his best every mission to make sure Ben didn't have to use his powers and that the rest of them killed the criminals without the horrors being needed. Just the Hargreeves noticing Reader and Five in Penn and missing them even more cuz we need that angst.

However, I feel like Penn would be an uncontrollable little shit regarding Reggie. Penn absolutely loathes his grandfather (all the Hargreeves cousins do). Reginald finds out about this superpowered kid and thinks it's Five come back cuz he sees the flash of blue from the blink. But then he sees Penn who snorts derisively when he sees Reggie.

Reginald: Interesting. You're not Number Five. Who are you?

Penn: No one you need to concern yourself with.

Reginald: Have his lippy attitude too

Penn: His and Mom's

Reginald: His son then? Makes sense Reader would be your mother. They did have a special connection to each other and she was worse than him when it came to that sharp tongue.

Penn: *sarcastically* Nothing you don't deserve. Much less, actually.

Reginald: *ignoring the insult* What can you do then? Do you have his powers? Hers? Or both?

Penn: None of your beeswax Old man. I ain't here to be tortured by you the way you did to Dad. Oh and he TOTALLY could Time Travel by the way. Guess the great Reggie ain't so great and all knowing at all huh?

Reginald: I never said he couldn't. Just that he wasn't ready

Penn: And Dad proved you otherwise anyway. Funny how easy it is to do that. I'm not showing you what I can do. It none of your business.

Reginald: I'm your grandfather. I taught your father everything he knows. His tutelage would hardly be sufficient for your full potential considering he left in the middle of it.

Penn: *laughs mockingly* No you didn't. He taught himself. He was born with what he could do and so was Mom. You're just an Ordinary. Old. Man. Can't take credit Dear Gramps. Everyone in this room is more powerful than you.

Teen!UA: *scared but impressed and also inspired*

Penn: Also his tutelage is better than yours anyway. I decide how much I want to learn and what Mom and Dad teach me. Just more proof they're better parents than you.

Reggie: *is speechless* (with offense or horror at Penn's "wasted potential" no one knows)

Penn: Anyway I'm gonna go ask Grandma, you know the grandparent that actually does know how to love her own kids and grandkids, to make me some cookies while I wait for Dad to come and get me. Unlike you, he actually cares about where I end up when mistakes are made.

Just Penn making up for every single jab and harsh truth Five and the Hargreeves couldn't give to Reggie when they were children because they were too young and terrified to know better.

When Five finally does show up to get Penn, Five hugs him instantly and looks him all over for injuries and Penn hugs him back and says "Thanks for being the best Dad" and Five feels overwhelmed cuz he wasn't expecting it but it's good to know he's not Reginald especially after meeting him again. And the Teen!UA realize even further that parents are supposed to keep you out of danger instead of sending you into it and berating you if you avoid getting hurt.

Bonus: Penn tells past!Grace she's Five's and Reader's son and Grace loves her children and she'd love her grandchildren too and she just smothers him with love because she missed her little boy so much and it makes her so happy to know that Five eventually has a son. (We need to include Grace in more of these. She deserves best mom award).

(Im really attached to these Time Travel Penn headcanons now so sorry if it's all I talk about for the next how many asks xD)

I love all of this, but now I have some more ideas.

1) Reginald tries to get the Teen!UA minus Vanya to fight Penn so he has to demonstrate his powers. Of course at this point he knows how to counter them without actually demonstrating anything so he just stands there with a cocky smile similar to his dad’s as Reginald becomes more and more infuriated.

2) Grace says that she misses Reader playing the piano so Penn takes his grandma’s hand and leads her to the parlor. Penn spots the piano in the corner of the parlor all covered up and dusty showing it had been untouched for years. Penn becomes a little sad because he realizes the last person to touch the piano was his mom as a child before she went missing with his dad. He pulls the cover off, sits down and starts to play it for Grace just as well as his mom. The teen!UA are off around the house but when they hear the piano echo through the house they’re all drawn to it. Teen!diego and Vanya are so uplifted and so sad about it because they see so much of the reader in Penn and it’s nice to know she’s doing well but it also hurts because she’s not there. At some point he asks teen!Vanya to play with him and she almost cries again because he asks for the song that was Vanya’s favorite to play with reader.

3) Teen!Klaus is curious about the future and his future self so Penn tells Klaus a bunch of lies about it because it’s funny.

[wxsuthorn]

a sort of organised analysis of The Gifted characters

pt. 1: Pang

(this analysis includes episodes 1-13 of season one and 1-7 of season two, so it probably isn’t completely accurate, but i tried my best. also please excuse grammar or spelling errors that i might’ve made cuz i write these late at night when my creativity sparks lmao)

Characteristics and qualities in the beginning of season 1

Even in the very first episode, Pang already showed some idealistic qualities. He always thought that the school system wasn’t fair, and he always tried doing the right thing (or what he thought was the right thing). His idealism wasn’t as extreme in the very beginning of the show, since he wasn’t as confident in his abilities. He probably didn’t have much interest in changing the school system when he (and the people around him) saw him as a dumb kid from classroom 8. Getting into the Gifted Program was what affected his idealism to the point where it became a fault.

Before he discovered his potential, he was most likely very confused about his “academic rank”. He was in classroom 8, yet he was in the Gifted Program... but he hadn’t found his potential yet. I can imagine him questioning his worth and how significant he really was; he was also one of the first kids in the gifted class to outwardly express how they felt about the unfair treatment of the ordinary students compared to the gifted students. This was probably because he got to experience both ends of the unequal treatment, unlike the rest of his gifted classmates.

In terms of intelligence, Pang is street smart. In episode one he thought of a distraction to not get caught stealing the test. He also used the egg drop parachute to save his phone. He is innovative and can create ideas and identify problems. In episode one (again), he noticed that Wave was sweating and seemed weak. He also noticed Ohm’s bloody nose and Mon moving a locker full of weights. He was aware of shit... but he’s not very aware of other people’s feelings... at least not fully.

Pang’s friendship with Nac hits different after the pangwave fight but anyways... Pang knew that he didn’t use the cheat sheet, and he couldn’t tell Nac anything about the Gifted Program, so he probably didn’t fully understand why Nac was so upset when he technically did nothing wrong. Nac even said he wasn’t upset that Pang was in the Gifted Program. I think that’s why Pang never talked it out with him and just kinda exploded at him. Even though he may see himself as empathetic, it’s really just him being idealistic. He mistakes his ideals about equality for empathy, when, in fact, those are two separate things. When it comes to individual people, I don’t think he’s very good at understanding them thoroughly enough. Nac’s reasons for being upset with Pang are realistic and valid. He’s in class 1, Pang’s in class 8, yet Pang was the one who got into the Gifted Program. Nac gave Pang a cheat sheet, and even though Pang denies using it, he couldn’t really believe that he got in with the grades he has. And on top of that, Pang doesn’t even tell him what happens in the class. Nac feels used and excluded, but Pang wasn’t paying attention to that. He ended up blaming the unfair system, which was just a factor of the conflict, but never took a moment to look at what he himself could’ve done to help the conflict, or even what he might’ve done wrong. but issokay cuz pang is a smol bean and i love him

Characteristics and qualities in the middle - the end of season 1

Lets talk about Pang discovering his potential in episode 6. He first noticed it when he told Nac to bang his head on a metal bar. This wasn’t the first time he used his potential on Nac, though. In the first episode he used it on him and said something like “don’t talk to me ever again”, and so Nac didn’t communicate with again him until episode 6. This was when Pang used his potential on him saying “why can’t we just talk it out?” and Nac was finally able to communicate his frustration. Nac was blaming Pang for shit he didn’t do and it was unreasonable, according to Pang, but Nac didn’t know the full story. If you look at the way Nac sees things: Pang is in the Gifted Program, Pang used me to get into the program (because there’s no way he just got in without using my cheat sheet), I got punished when Wave provoked me and Pang tried playing hero, as if he was some perfect angel. Pang has new friends, he has no use for me anymore, I don’t need him either, I find new friends, Pang suddenly joins in, everything goes haywire, my anger and frustration towards him explodes, and he just ignores what I’m feeling and tells me that I’m wrong and that I’m an asshole. Like I did something wrong, and he’s perfectly innocent. Lmao Nac is salty af. And he has a good reason to be. Pang doesn’t understand Nac’s thinking, and on top of that, he makes almost no effort to understand. His beliefs blind him into thinking he’s done no wrong.

Now lets talk about his actual potential, and how it affects him. His ego and self esteem rises, but Pang doesn’t notice it. It’s explained in the end of season 1 that the reason Pang lost is because he wanted to do everything on his own because he thought that only he was able to defeat the director. His ideals and his ego are very closely connected. Pang teams up with Wave because he thinks that Wave will be the most useful to stop Director Supot. Now, I don’t think Pang doesn’t care about his friends, but his actions are neglectful. When Pang teams up with Wave, he tells none of his other friends about what he’s doing. He doesn’t tell Namtaan or Ohm, literally his two closest friends, and convinces himself that he’s doing it to protect them. News flash, he isn’t. He’s trying to be a hero. His ego rapidly increasing might be because of how he was constantly ridiculed when he was in classroom 8, and suddenly he gets this power that makes him “superior” to ordinary people. Another possibility is that his ego was already big, but we he only showed it/applied it when he was trying to take down Director Supot.

Now lets talk about the season 1 finale: Pang becomes aware of his ego through the director foiling his plan and humiliating him. This is a big part of his development as a character. Ofc in season 2 he still has a problem with neglecting and doing things solo, but he become a little more aware, and for 2 whole year’s he’s able to somewhat-effectively lead the gifted gang in their fight against the anti-gifted.

Characteristics and qualities in season two (up until episode 7) 

Lets discuss: Ms Darin. aka ms loser. Remember in the beginning of episode 7 where he trusted her cuz of what she said and he noticed her actions (oop remember this trait from before? he’s aware of shit!), but it turned out it was all lies. He eventually got back on track after Third showed him the truth, and was smart enough not to trust Ms. Darin after that. I wanna guess that the reason he started trusting Ms. Darin so easily (other than what she said and did) is because he was in distress from failing Korn and Time. He needed some support, and he wouldn’t let his friends support him because “im a hero blah blah blah i dont wanna worry my friends they dont need to help me with my burdens cuz i can do it on my own :D” season 1 Pang type shit. Ms. Darin was an adult who seemed trustworthy enough, plus Director Supot was gone, and he was the main antagonist in season 1, so isn’t everything only gonna get better now that he’s gone? Plus when Grace said that he sounds like the adults lksdjlkjslfjjsdf THAT HIT ME.

Now I wanna talk about him with Chanon. I’m praying that Chanon is pure and not corrupted because if he is he might’ve used Pang and might do so in the future too... but let’s not focus on that. Pang finally has a mentor-figure in his life that he looks up. Someone to balance out his ego and show him that he can’t do everything on his own. yeah that’s all i have to say about that.

Punn. “You’re done, Pang.” Yeah lets talk about that because holy mcnuggets. Punn knows Pang well enough to know how intensely idealistic and passionate he is. Once the director is gone, Punn is like, bitch u got nothing else to obsess over MOVE ON. He’s basically saying Pang’s existence was so heavily tied with fixing the school system that when eveything’s fixed, he’ll be “done.” It’s similar to Five from the Umbrella Academy, where his whole life was set on fixing the apocalypse that he felt that life had no meaning without an apocalypse to prevent.

Now let’s talk about PangWave... I truly believe that Pang sees Wave as his equal, as his friend, and as a person whom he cares for deeply. His ego and idealism, topped with all the stress he’s going through (by himself), are dangerous towards his relationships. Wave feels used by Pang, and explains how Pang only comes to him when he needs his help, and avoids him when he disagrees with what Pang thinks. Pang is so fixated on his ideals and beliefs that he will do anything to make sure they become a reality. He’s obsessed, and it’s sooooo bad for his relationships with others. It shows that even on Namtaan’s bday, he can only think about “doing the right thing”, because that’s his number 1 priority. PANG JUST GIVE URSELF A BREAK PLEASE TAKE A METAL HEALTH DAY JUST SLKJFLSDKJJD MEDITATE OR SMTH.

I could type for several hours longer but I think this is enough word vomit for this post.

Summary

- VERY IDEALISTIC !!!! TO A FAULT

- He has somewhat of an inflated ego, but uses his ideals and beliefs to cover it up and convince himself that he is a “good person”

- He overworks his brain by never thinking of himself or other people’s emotions and focuses on his idealistic goals and his idealistic goals ONLY.

- He’s very aware of the things’s around him, and is street smart, but he’s not as aware when it comes to other people’s feelings and thoughts.

- He cares for his friends, but his extreme idealism ends up hurting them, and in turn hurting himself and further encouraging him to self-isolate.

- Independent, but this is mostly due to him thinking that he can handle problems on his own and he doesn’t want to get others involved.

- He is becoming more aware of his wrong actions, hence him apologising to Wave about going after Korn without him, but not enough to actually prevent these wrong actions.

- didn’t talk about this much but GUILT!!! I can tell that he feels immense guilt (especially in the latest episodes) whenever one of his friends get hurt and he’s very involved in what got them hurt. However, when it comes to hurting people emotionally, his guilt is tricky to read. At least for me it is lmao. Cuz he doesn’t always fully understand his friends’ feelings because he can’t always admit that he’s done something wrong, but with the recent pangwave fight he definitely felt some type of guilt there. Or maybe it was frustration? idk skjdflajsdfl someone else step in on this one pls

- He needs rest and a mental break. And some therapy maybe? Like please can one caring adult help this poor child.

- His character is actually pretty consistent wow the writing in this show is great.

- a cute boi who needs a hug. Preferably from Wave and/or Ohm.

[nostalthicc]

send your regards | jeff wittek

mobster!jeff x reader

summary: y/n and jeff both find out some pretty unsettling things about their relationship

warnings: cursing, horribly written, hella mistakes, im just not that happy with it 

3k words

y/n didn’t find herself in a relationship very often, so she understood why her friends were so eager to hear about this new guy she had been seeing for about five months. they’ve had to watch y/n come home in the early hours of the morning, new designer items pop into her closet and her mood suddenly shifted from her usual unbothered attitude to a brand new happy woman and hadn’t even heard a peep about who caused all these changes in their friend’s life.

but today was the day, y/n’s small group of friends sat crowded around her bed as she started to tell them about her newfound relationship- if she could even call it that. “we met at sandy’s, the club near the outlet mall. and you know me when i have one, two many drinks. i thought he was gonna kick me out in the morning but ended up making me breakfast and asked for my number.” y/n said, pausing as she noticed the girls were dying to interrupt her story with questions.

“how was it?” 

“what does he look like?”

“what’s his name?”

“eggplant and baby carrot?” 

“does he have a brother?”

y/n’s eyes widen at the abundance of words thrown her way, she knew they were curious but not this much so. “one, that’s for me to know, court. two, he’s really fucking hot, i’ll show you guys a picture in a second, three his name is jeff wittek-”

before she could go any farther, her older friend, nora blurted out: “What?! Jeff?” y/n gave her a questionable look, urging nora to quiet down and explain her sudden outburst. “y/n, no, you have to end things, you can’t get involved with him.” she said frantically. “h-he’s not a good person.”

“what are you talking about?” y/n asked, her eyebrows furrowed. jeff was one of the kindest people she met whenever they were together, she couldn’t imagine a bad bone in his body. what nora was saying didn’t add up, it seems her friend must have been confused and was talking about the wrong jeff. since the first time she met him he had been nothing but nice to y/n and the people around them and every one of jeff’s friends were also highly kind to her. 

“are you stupid, y/n? jeff wittek is the mob boss that haunts this god forsake town. how could you be so clueless and naive?” nora whispered harshly, causing all the girl’s eyes to widen. they’ve never seen nora act this way, she was always chill and down to earth so to see her blowing up as she was, was shocking. 

everyone had their attention focused on nora they completely missed the look of horror on y/n’s face. little pieces of the puzzle were starting to come together, she knew he was hiding something but y/n never thought it would be of this capacity. the late-night or early morning phone calls, they obnoxious amount of weapons hidden throughout his house, jeff’s constant stance of authority with everyone around him, the bloodied clothing he swore were nose bleeds or bar fights, and the never-ending pit of drugs he had handy at all times. it all made sense now, y/n had dismissed it because she wanted jeff to tell her what his secret was when he was ready but now y/n really regrets her idea. why would he not tell her? how many people has he killed? would he ever hurt her? 

“do you know what he does? he kills people, y/n.” she seethed, earning unprovable glares from surrounding customers- not that she cared. nora knew what she had to do  and she was willing to do it at any cost. “you better get away before he kills you as he does with all his little whores!”

“nora!”

y/n had heard enough, she swiftly grabbed her coat and purse and made a beeline for the door despite her friend’s calls. frustration was building deep inside her, why had everything gone to shit in a matter of minutes? y/n slammed her hands down on the steering wheel multiple times before resting her forehead against the cool leather. when her mind drifted to jeff a new emotion emerged, fear. she was scared.  

y/n knew she needed to confront jeff or it would eat at her alive, she wants to hear the words come from his own two lips before she made any rash decisions. meanwhile, nora had escaped the mob of anger girls and was standing behind the cafe with a burner phone pressed to her ear and a cigarette between her lips. 

“hello?” a gruff, agitated voice answer on the other line. 

“do i just have the funniest story for you?” she was met with silence from the man. rolling her eyes she continued. “you assigned me to keep on an eye on y/n after you two called it quits but you’ll never guess who’s bed she crawled into...wittek.” 

the sound of glass shattering course through the speakers, he was angry, very angry. “jeff wittek?! you had one fucking, nora! one job, how did you manage to fuck it up?” 

“it’s not my fault.” nora defended herself, she was not threatened but the anger pouring through the phone and she was not going to be blamed for something she didn’t do. “i was finding out right along with her dumbass friends, apparently y/n’s not one to openly talk about relationships because it’s been going on for three months but guessing from  her reaction when she found out, i don’t think it’ll last much longer.”

“if something happens to her because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut, so be it, i will put a bullet in your head.” 

nora chuckled, blowing out a puff of smoke. “don’t joke around like that i might get excited.” 

⇉⇉⇉

todd met y/n at the front door of jeff’s overly large house, he offered y/n a genuine smile but it quickly fell when she didn’t return the gesture and kept her eyes trained on the floor. “hey, are you okay?” he asked, reaching to rest a comforting hand on her shoulder but y/n hopped back before he could come into contact with her. todd took her weird demeanor and silence as a sign to go get jeff, he can always cheer her up. 

y/n was terrified to even be in this house, so many awful things must have gone down on this very floor, so much blood. y/n wanted to vomit at the thought. nora’s words continued to fill her brain, how could she have been so clueless? why did she ignore every sign of danger? y/n shook her shook, trying frantically to think of what to say when she heard the footsteps approaching. jeff walked into the entryway with a pair of tan cargo shorts loosely hanging on his hips. he was beautiful, his dark hair and tanned skin, his eyes, his lips, her eyes wandered down to his toned abs. on any other day, y/n would be quick to pounce on the man, she was still urged to greet him with a kiss even after the newfound news.

“s-stop. stay there.” y/n tried her best not to stutter but nothing could have prepared her for this moment, she wished she would have stayed in the car and driven home but her brain never worked when she wanted it to. y/n held her hand up when jeff ignored her wish, taking a few steps back. “please, jeff.”

“baby, what’s wrong? toddy said you seemed upset.” jeff whispered softly, in hopes of not pushing y/n farther over the edge.

“why didn’t you tell me?” a sob fell through the girl’s lips, a sound jeff swore he never wanted to hear as long as he lived. his mind raked with confusion until he noticed the look hidden in her eyes, his girl was scared of him, practically shaking with fear. how had he let this happen? how did she even find out? 

jeff took a slow stride towards her, putting his hands up in defense. “baby, listen to me-”

“stop! don’t lie to me again, i don’t want to hear any more lies! i want the truth jeff!” y/n shouted, her body simultaneously stood a little taller on her toes until she remembers who she was talking to. y/n went into a frenzy apologizing to jeff, while still keeping her distance but he kept coming closer and she knew this was most likely the end for her. “i’m sorry, i’m so sorry, i-i- please don’t hurt me.” 

jeff froze as he watched y/n break down in front of him, he watched in silence as his nightmares came true. “no, no baby.” he reached a hand out to her cheek, whipping away the tears as new ones took their place. “please don’t say that. i couldn’t even imagine laying a finger on your precious body if it wasn’t to worship every inch. i would never hurt you, ever. okay, y/n, do you hear me? now, tell me who told you.”

y/n sniffled, taking deep breaths at their close proximity. “nora did. she said y-you’d kill me once you were done with me.” her limbs felt numb and hollow, this was all too much. jeff cursed under his breath, looking down as he tried to make any type of connection but he had y/n pretty well hidden. 

“i would never hurt you, i could never hurt you. please, please stop saying that, you’re breaking my heart over here,” he said. 

“but you hurt other people.” she whispered, a lump forming in her throat. “how many people have you killed? how many people's lives have you claimed? what’s to stop you from doing the same to me?” y/n rambled on, asking so many questions, too many questions, pumping more worry into her head. 

“because i love you, goddammit.” jeff shouted, running his fingers through his hair, he watched in horror as y/n flinched away from him, snapping her eyes shut tight, awaiting the blow. “i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i just wish you’d listen to me. i love you, i really do. i wanted to make you my queen, we would lead together. i promise i was going to tell you.”

y/n shook her head. “whatever made you think i’d want to do that?” before jeff could answer she raised her hand to stop him, y/n had heard enough. “i-i need time, this is all too much.” she stood up slowly and started backing away from the man towards the front door, y/n wanted to bolt away but she didn’t know how he would react to that. by the time y/n made it to the door, she looked back a jeff to see todd’s hands on his chest. her heart broke but if he truly did love her jeff would let her think things through. 

“my dear y/n, i knew i’d be hearing from you soon enough.”

for the few days y/n had been with ricky she started to remember why she broke things off with him in the first place. he was obsessive, power-hungry, an asshole and he wasn’t him. ricky wasn’t jeff and as much as y/n wanted to deny it, she missed him greatly. maybe she was realizing she loves him but her mind couldn’t shake the thought of who jeff really was and how he had lied to her for so long. 

“god, y/n, i told you no one could treat you better than i can and you went ahead and got involved with a fucking psychopath.” ricky ranted, lighting another cigarette before turning to y/n, eyeing her carefully. y/n knew what he was waiting for and that’s exactly why she bit her tongue. ricky wanted y/n to defend jeff so he could spit a thousand more reasons why jeff is a horrible person and she was stupid for leaving him in the first place but she was not giving him the satisfaction. y/n was starting to realize calling ricky in the first place was a mistake, he clearly had gotten worse since she left; he took her phone, won't let her leave the house, monitors all her meals, and even controls what she wears. ricky was sick.

“my sweet doll, you naive, pathetic precious being,” ricky brushed his fingers across y/n’s chin, scowling as she pulls away from his touch. he was right where he wanted to be, he not only had y/n in his clutches but he had something he could use to bring jeff down. “how do you think i know so much about wittek?” he asked bitterly, the name burning his tongue as he spoke. 

y/n's eyes widen in realization. “because you're just like him.” y/n spoke, defeat clear in her voice. while running from one leader she ran straight into the arms of another mobster, she now more than ever she could be back at home cuddled up with jeff on the couch not stuck in a prison with her crazy ex-boyfriend. 

“no!” he shouted, slamming his fist on the wall. “i am nothing like him, i’m so much better. jeff wittek wishes he could be like me, lead like me, own what i have.” his eyes cast down to y/n’s frightened face, a wicked smile gracing his features. this wasn’t the same ricky y/n used to know, he changed, became a violent version of himself. before he had always been obsessive and controlling but never once had he been violent towards y/n or anyone for a matter of fact. 

“you’re sick, ricky!” he would have thought she knew to keep her mouth shut but y/n was never one to bite her tongue. it infuriated ricky that she didn’t fear him the way she feared jeff, when y/n first called him to pick her up her voice was trembling with fear. why wasn’t she scared of him too? he was just as horrible as jeff, so he thought. ricky grabbed y/n’s arm, dragging her to the living room towards the stairs when a voice halted all movement in the room. 

“it’s taking everything in me to not rip your throat out with my teeth.” jeff smirked at the ricky while basking in his frightened appearance. when he finally found out where y/n was, he went out of his mind, doing everything he could to formulate a plan to get her back or away from that psycho. it was supposed to go down two days from now but when jeff got a text from nora he knew he couldn’t wait any longer to retrieve his girl. 

ricky’s mouth opened and closed, he became a stuttering mess as he tried to form words. “h-how? what are you doing here?” he asked, his grip tightening. sure, he was scared shitless- he’d never actually seen or been face to face with jeff fucking wittek -but he wasn’t going to back down just yet, everyone had a weakness and ricky seemed to have found jeff’s. 

a chuckle could be heard from the mob boss. “newbie’s, man.” he mumbled, turning to todd who had a fancy-looking gun pointed at the rookie. “they’re always so naive.” 

nora made her appearance next to ricky, shoving a needle in his neck before he could react. he slipped to the floor, the hand constricting y/n falling swiftly to the ground with the rest of his limp body. she yelped, jumping away from nora and ricky’s body. y/n was sure everyone in the room could hear her heartbeat rumbling in her chest, all eyes were on her and all y/n could do was stare blankly at them. 

“y/n, come on.” nora coaxed the girl over to her side with a warm smile and a desperate expression, jeff narrowed his eyes as he watched the scene unfold. he knew nora wasn’t completely loyal to him or the mob but he didn’t think she would try and take y/n away from him after all he’s done for her. 

“no, y/n come to me!” jeff countered, earning a highly confused look from the girl. jeff sucked in a sharp breath when nora lost her patience and wrapped her arm around y/n, moving her into a chokehold and pointed a gun to her head. both of the guys pointed their guns at the hostage and her capture, nora had officially crossed the line of his mercy and she would not be leaving this building alive. but before jeff or todd could do anything y/n nailed nora in the stomach, grabbed her arm and pulled it back causing her to drop the gun she held onto right into y/n’s awaiting hand. not a second later she hit nora in the head with the butt of the gun, knocking her out cold. 

“god, she was annoying.” y/n muttered, dragging her hand along her throat. when she finally turned to face the boys with a smirk matching their confused and perplexed expressions. “i can tell by the look on your face, you knew, didn’t you.” 

“i prayed it wasn’t true. ignored it because i loved you, y/n.” jeff said, balling his fist at his side. even aiming a gun at his girlfriend felt foreign, it felt wrong, like he was betraying her and himself at the same time. “after your performance i didn’t believe the rumors but i guess that was a lapse in my judgment, huh?”

y/n internally flinched at the jeff’s use of ‘loved’, she wished the could have met in another light, where they were free to fall in love and be normal- rather than stuck in the life of mobs and mafias. “loved? god, jeff, you both were my targets but somehow i’m gonna get on this helicopter only eliminating one.” she explained painfully, her life with the boy she cares for so much a mere spec now, the life she built was years gone with the simple wave of a hand.  “i-i love you too and i won’t kill you, not now at least, baby. i’ll send your regards to my father.” 

[gingerwritess]

Y'all I am in need of some Loki fluff. Like, pure and unadulterated fluff and cuddles and just Loki and im s t a r v e d.

mama whipped this out way too quickly for you but um i thought this would be the cutest lil scene so here, a gift just for you

okay i adulterated it a lil and it got kinda smutty but it’s mostly fluff….sorry

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Someone forgot to close the blinds before falling asleep last night.

Well…kind of understandable. Maybe you’ll let it slide considering this is the first time you’ve ever woken up to find that “someone” lying naked right next to you, hogging the sheets to keep himself somewhat decent.

Shoving your head under the pillow isn’t doing the trick and sunlight is still pouring into the room, so you groggily sit up with a yawn—oh, ouch.

Are those muscles supposed to be sore?

It’s a good sore, you think, swinging your legs off the bed and curling your toes into the carpet under the bed as you search for some clothes. Behind you, Loki is still snoring softly, an arm already laid across your side of the bed awaiting your return.

Your side of the bed…woah.

In the frenzy of passion and whatever the hell else had taken you last night, your shirt ended up in the far corner of the room, so you reach for the nearest piece of discarded clothing: oh, perfect. Loki’s shirt.

You can’t help but bite your lip with a grin and spare a glance back at the god behind you. Should you wear it? To do so seems so… childish? Stereotypical? Cliché? But the shirt, a simple button up with the sleeves still rolled up to the elbows from Loki’s completely unnecessary but completely successful attempt at seducing you, just seems like the perfect thing to cover your bare body.

Maybe he’ll like waking up to the sight.

You track down some new underwear and slip the shirt over that without a second thought, bare feet padding across the room to close to blinds. Each step sends a new jolt of pleasant aches through your legs, not enough to hurt, but just enough to serve as a perfect reminder of the lines you and Loki had crossed the night before.

Though the sunlight is illuminating the room in an incredible golden warmth, you’re not quite ready for that at this too early hour, and Loki seems to be squinting in his sleep, so you close the blinds—just for a little while longer. You peek out the window while you’re there; it’s absolutely beautiful outside. Spring is on its way now that the rains have paused and the blankets of snow have melted away, leaving behind a stunning expanse of vivid green grass, the morning dew on each blade sparkling in the glaring sun—

“I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a more heavenly sight.”

You whirl around with a start at the gravelly sound of Loki’s voice, and sure enough, he’s woken up, propping himself up on his elbows as he stares at you with an easy half smile on his face.

“I—uh, sorry,” you whisper though there’s no reason to stay quiet. “I thought you were still—sorry, um, g’morning, Loki.”

Why do you feel so exposed? He’s staring at you and apparently doesn’t plan on stopping, and you don’t really know what to do anymore. You feel suddenly stupid for wearing his shirt; yeah, maybe you shouldn’t have done that after all, so you quickly shrug the shirt from your shoulders.

“No, no, no,” Loki sits up more fully, reaching out a hand to you. “Keep that on. Please.”

He’s sitting up against the headboard now and well, now you are staring. He still is completely unclothed, his stomach bare and too tempting, and he has the thin sheet covering his groin just barely—he moves to stand up and you gulp, for some reason not ready to see him completely exposed again.

You’re pretty sure you just need to sit down before that happens again.

“My shirt suits you, darling,” he grins and stands up, the sheet dropping away. You instinctively shoot your gaze to the ceiling and hold up a hand to block yourself from seeing anything. Stepping closer to you, Loki laughs deep in his throat and takes your outstretched hand, bringing it to his lips. “What do you think you’re doing? Aren’t we past that now?”

“S-sorry,” you mumble and force your gaze back to his face, trying not to melt under his adoring smile and how he runs his thumb along your hand. Words don’t seem to be working properly for you right now, unlike Loki’s strange ability to have himself completely composed and eloquent even having just woken up from such an extensive night.

It’s…kind of intimidating, if you’re being honest.

“So I’m nailing this whole ‘morning after’ thing, aren’t I?” You groan sarcastically and pull your hand from his grip, trudging back to the bed to flop down on it and pull a pillow over your face. “What do you even say to someone after…after that? ‘Thanks?’ ‘You were great?’"

Loki is just a little too perfect. You’ve known that the entire time you’ve been together, ever since you first kissed him. You’ve always known that you are, for lack of a better word, unworthy of his affection. So then why on earth had he just let you, some awkward little Midgardian, bed him? And why is he pretending to have enjoyed it?

You can hear him chuckling softly and feel the bed dip beside you as he resumes his place at your side, locking an arm tightly around your waist. Light floods your eyes once again when he pulls the pillow off you, pressing his lips to your cheek. “Thanks,” he whispers and you can feel him grinning. “You were great.”

“Shut up, Loki.” You keep your face squished into the mattress.

“What has my lover so troubled?” He trails his lips down the side of your neck, slipping his shirt from your shoulder to attend to the skin there, too. “You’ve bedded a god, darling. I don’t mean to sound self-righteous…” he pauses and moves back to kiss the spot on your neck he had discovered last night, the one that had made you practically melt in his arms, “…but you should feel exceptionally proud of yourself.”

“I should be proud of myself for getting in your pants?”

Loki laughs and runs his tongue over the gentle bite he just left on the curve of your neck. “That’s one way of putting it.”

You mull it over for a moment, your stomach twisting into knots at the careful attention Loki’s paying to your neck, then finally turn your head to look at him. “So you weren’t just faking it all night?”

His jaw drops with a shocked little laugh and he puts a hand to the side of your face, running his thumb along your cheek. “I would have thought this spoke for itself,” he gestures downwards with a grin and you bury your face in the mattress again.

“Come on, I’m being serious!”

“As am I!” He barrels into you then, pushing you onto your back and hovering over you in one fluid motion—you keep your eyes squeezed shut though, still not able to look him in the eye. “Why in all the nine realms would I have had to fake anything under your devilish touch?”

You open your eyes to glare at him and give him a good poke in the stomach. “God of lies.”

“And yet you never fail to bring out the truth in me.”

“Okay, Shakespeare, take it easy.”

Loki just grins and leans down to place a soft kiss on your pouting lips, and within seconds you can’t stop the blissful sigh that escapes your throat.

“What is it going to take for me to convince you?” He murmurs when he pulls away, adoring eyes searching your face, then he dips back down to steal another kiss. “I’m prepared to spend the entire day in bed until you believe me.”

Your arms wind themselves around his neck before you have a chance to stop them, holding him closer and keeping him against you, and you feel his lips curling into a proud smirk on your own. You kiss him until he darts his tongue out to try and begin round two, then plant your hands on his shoulders and shove him off of you. “A tempting offer, but I’m hungry. How about breakfast and we never talk about this again?”

He’s still scowling about being ripped from your lips, but his eyes darken when you mention breakfast and he starts actually crawling towards you, eyes narrowed and stalking you. “Breakfast, yes…”

You gulp.

“Consider me starved.” His fingers wrap around your ankle and he lifts your leg to rest over his shoulder, starting to plant heated kisses down the inside of your leg as you scramble breathlessly back against the headboard.

“L-Loki, I’m…I’m serious—”

“Shh. Just lay back and let me distract you for a moment.”

And does he ever. This time it’s all about you, and you can tell he’s trying to prove himself to you, convince you of his feelings, a sentiment you do greatly appreciate through the haze of pleasure he’s trapped you under.

“Have I convinced you yet?” He asks when you finally rip the pillow off your face that you had grabbed and bit down on when he pushed you over the edge, desperately trying to muffle your cries—but also partially to hide your face from the god between your knees.

“I’m—fuck—I’m still hungry for actual food,” you pant and throw the pillow at him, which he only swats out of the air with a laugh before it can hit his infuriatingly perfect face.

“Oh, fine.” He climbs off the bed and tugs on a pair of black boxers, walking to your side of the bed and holding out a hand to help you up. “To be continued.”

Thank god he gave you his hand, cause your still trembling legs nearly give out when you stand up and you fall against his side as your head spins. “Shit,” you groan and he laughs, steadying you with a hand on your waist. “You’re gonna be the death of me.”

“Then I will ensure you die happy,” he promises with a chuckle and takes your hand, leading you down the hallway into the kitchen as you hurry to keep up.

Moments later you’re leaning against the kitchen counter staring at Loki over the rim of a bowl of cereal, his shirt on your body fluttering open in the gentle breeze coming from the window Loki had opened.

He is positively glowing, leaning on the sink across the tiny kitchen from you, blowing gently on the steaming cup of tea in his hands. You’ve never seen him looking so alive, so youthful and content as he does now, just drinking his tea in his underwear with a little bit of sleep left in his eyes, his lips a touch redder and plumper than usual—thanks to your relentless kisses, you proudly remind yourself.

And his hair…you smile into your bowl so he doesn’t see you almost laugh. For what you think is the first time since you’ve been together, it’s not perfect and silky and flowing majestically in the wind like some hair commercial. It’s still fucking gorgeous, of course, but right now it’s tousled, tangled, and curly, curlier than you’ve ever seen it.

It’s easily the cutest thing you’ve ever seen.

There’s this one curl of hair that’s looped in on itself and is resting over his left temple, sticking out from his head and making you just want to run your hands through his hair again, smooth that little curl out—

“You’re staring, darling.”

You can’t help but give a sheepish laugh at being caught and point at his head. “Sex hair.”

He glances upwards as if trying to see it and laughs, running a hand through his hair—aw, there goes the little out of place curl. “I can only imagine how much of a mess I look right now.”

“Nuh uh, you’ve never looked better,” you assure him, finishing your cereal and walking over to put the empty bowl in the sink. Once you’re within his reach, Loki grabs you with an arm around your waist and pulls you into a one-armed hug against his chest, immediately attacking your neck with a million little kisses.

“Perhaps a shower, then?” He purrs as you double over laughing at the mercy of his lips, trying halfheartedly to squirm out of his grip. “Only to clean ourselves, of course. Just to wash my ‘sex hair,’ we won’t do anything else.”

“That’s believable,” you huff and push yourself out of his arms, turning around to stare at him a little longer. He’s much too smugly sipping his tea, waiting for you to do something, so you do, without really thinking: you reach up and take his face in both hands, lightly squishing his cheeks together into an adorable little pucker—his brow furrows in confusion as he stares down at you.

“You’re the cutest thing alive,” you giggle and jump up on tiptoe to land a quick peck on his pursed lips.

“No—I…what?”

Aw, he’s turning red. “I am not cute. Of all the adjectives you could have picked, you went with cute—ohh, oh.”

You just dragged your hands down his torso, letting your fingertips follow the bumps and ridges of his muscles to play with the waistband of his shorts, and his voice falters as he melts under your touch. “You were saying?”

He narrows his eyes at you, breathing a little heavier. “I was saying we need to go shower, right now.”

Biting back a grin, you glance down at your hands and notice a little mark on his right hipbone near your hand, just in that little dip of the v of muscles pointing down. A tiny bruise, it looks like, reddish purple and standing out boldly against the smooth planes of his skin—put there by you.

You poke the hickey without thinking, looking up at Loki with a bewildered laugh. “I did that.”

He raises an eyebrow and nods, taking your hand in his. “Yes, you did…you sound surprised.”

“I am surprised,” you tell him honestly, letting him lead you towards the bathroom. “I’m surprised we did that.”

“It was bound to happen, don’t you think?”

“Mmhm. Don’t get me wrong though, I’m surprised, but definitely not complaining.”

Loki shuts the door behind you and you find your back against it, one of his arms on either side of your head. Trapped beneath him, you grin up at him and reach around to slap his ass just to mess with him. “Not complaining at all.”

He laughs and runs a hand up your thigh, kissing you hard and pressing your back into the door. “I’d like to keep surprising you, if you’ll allow me,” he murmurs against your lips, wrapping his arms around your waist and starting to walk you backwards towards the little shower—wait a minute. Your little apartment’s shower barely fits you.

“Loki, wait, wait, wait, I’ve only ever heard horror stories about shower sex.” You lightly push him away and gesture at the shower. “Um, logistically speaking…this might not be the best idea?”

He hums in acknowledgement but surges back forward to meet your lips, a hand coming up to grip your jaw and kiss you harder. “Mm, I’m willing to risk it. I know we can make it work.”

You sigh and shrug Loki’s button up off your shoulders, dropping it to the floor and stepping over it as Loki’s eyes light up. “Fine.” You hold out your hand to him. “But if I slip and hit my head and die, I’m gonna kill you.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

hope you enjoyed, feel free to send me ideas!

loki tags: @bluediamond007@himitoshi@drakesfiance @destiel1597 @dangertoozmanykids101 @archy3001 @jcalpha1@yzssie @skullvieplu@forthesnakeofdragons@skulliebythesea @wegingerangelica@storiesfrommirkwood@agarwaeneth @adaliamalfoy @laurfangirl424@paradisaicsam@fitzsimmons-is-forever @ladylokimischief @katelinwrites@tarynkauai @polaristrange @loavesofmeat @canadian-ravenpuff-multishipper @lou-makes-me-strong@holyn0vak  @chocolatealmondmillk @swtnrholland @kenzieam @jessiejunebug @catticas@the-republic-and-face-of-texas@doralupin01@whitewitchdown@atomiccharmer @falconfeather23435 @babygirlicecream @avengrcs@vethrvolnir2 @bookgirlunicorn @wabisabigrl @myhealingstar @khaleesi-marvel @ei77777 @spacecrumbs @scarlettrosella @rocks-are-pretty-odd@confessionsofastrugglingteen @easilydistractedwriter@arttasticgreatnessoftheawesome77 @fluffyllamaswearinghats @milktearose

[queenhawke]

ok goddamn here are all my Gripes with the timeless children/s12 more broadly in one post so i can just get it all out there and stop thinking about it hopefully. 

this is far too long and frankly very rambly and incoherent but i absolutely do not have the time or energy to write some sort of Coherent Essay lmao

but uhhh tl;dr get ya head outta the past and into the present, chibs

ok so first of all it’s just a badly written episode. like chibs my dude my bro my pal why the Fuck did u think having the master just Exposition at the doctor for 40 minutes was a good idea. why did u think that i would care about any of the 4??? side characters (i can’t even fuckin remember how many there were!!!) when they are just. complete nonentities. why should i care about obi-wan ko sharmus sacrificing himself when he’s just. There. and his backstory gets explained 5 seconds before he dies and it’s not even that interesting. wHyYyyy would u leave Time Lord/Cyberman Hybrid for the last 5 minutes and then have them just stand around doing nothing!!!! why on GOD’S GREEN EARTH would u take the genuinely interesting concept of a cyberman zealot/cult leader and then just be like ‘ye so he wants to be a robot and also he has a big Death Bomb now for some reason’. like having the master point out that it’s a dumb plan doesn’t make it any less of a dumb plan aaaahhhhhhhhh

BUT ALL THAT ASIDE all that nonsense aside.......... what is this timeless child thing, really. like what does it add to the doctor as a character. what does it add to the time lords as a concept? like. the Big Shocking reveal is that...... time lords are bastards, lied about shit and manipulated an innocent child? like YA BRO WE BEEN KNEW, that is exactly what they did w/ the master in the end of time (which. i also thought was dumb but w/e). like this ain’t new, chibs! except now it’s about them doing it to the doctor and now it’s Revealed that the doctor is the Most Specialest Person In Time Lord History and like

why tho

like is this really more interesting than the doctor just being a regular, even kinda shitty time lord who became a good person

“oh but it adds more mystery” does it???? how?? bc idk what y’all saw but to me it looked like they just explained the doctor’s entire fuckin backstory. like. all we don’t know is 

1. where the kid came from, which honestly...... isn’t that interesting a question bc it’s either like another planet/dimension or mayyyyybe it’s some sort of stable time loop thing idk but like. yawn. sorry maybe other people find that exciting, it sounds extremely boring to me.

and 2. we don’t know the full extent of what the doctor did w/ the Division (which. god i can’t stop thinking about the video game whenever i see that name) but like........ ok let’s say maybe the doctor did Bad Shit when they were w/ those time lords. that’s kind of the implication right? either they were forced to do bad shit or they initially voluntarily did bad shit and then rebelled and that’s where ruth!doctor comes in. like that seems the most likely trajectory that storyline takes

but

like

that’s all way in the past

like that’s happened and judging by ruth they’ve basically already learned and grown from that AND THEN presumably they got mindwiped and started over as a kid so like...... can you even hold the current doctor accountable and also like.

like it’s done

like it’s over

ruth is here

we’re already at the end point of this progression you know

i mean unless chibs intends to do episodes from the perspective of that pre-hartnell era, which i kinda doubt but who knows. but otherwise, the only way you can show that whole like... chain of events, is through flashback and exposition and i just. hmmmm im already tired

“oh but it fits perfectly in the lore and it makes sense and” ok but i don’t!! care!! how it fits in the Lore!! like if you do care about Lore that’s cool but like im sorry i fundamentally don’t give a shit UNLESS it is backed up by genuinely interesting character stuff and i just

don’t see anything here that wasn’t already in the show u know

“oh but morbius doctors explained!!” u think the casual audience knows or cares about the fuckin morbius doctors??? im not a casual viewer and i don’t even give a shit about the morbius doctors. im sure people do!!! i know people do But God Jesus Christ the last thing dr who needs to do is continuously go back into its own history to fix plot holes that really aren’t important to any of the characters at all. it’s a 56 year old show, there’s gonna be inconstencies and unless “““fixing”“““  those inconstistencies leads to actual interesting stories i Just Do Not Give A Shit

and like i get the feeling that this whole thing was smth chris chibnall has had in his head since forever, like this was his Big Bold Plan when he was a young guy watching classic who. and like. i get wanting to do that story now, but... the show has moved on, the world has moved on. he can do whatever he likes, but things have in fact happened, and sometimes you gotta adjust your big dream story to account for those things that have changed. sure, every showrunner is completely entitled to do with the show what they want, BUT the audience is still experiencing the show as one continuous story, and you gotta take that into account unless you want it to be super jarring for them! you want the master to blow up gallifrey, but gallifrey has been blown up + brought back in very recent history? find another way. this story could easily have been done without destroying gallifrey. i mean, have the master kill some time lords, sure, whatever. but keep them around! have them react to the doctor finding out the truth, have them confront each other!!! isn’t that a much more interesting story, anyway?

ok jesus this is getting way too long LISTEN

here are my main points:

- like the cartmel plan before it, it takes away far more mystery than it adds. it takes the vast and endless Unknown and turns it into like... a “mystery” plot the size of your average scandinoir thriller. before, the doctor’s life before an unearthly child could be anything you want. now it’s.... this

- the actual execution of it is bad. the dr sits in a cage for 40 minutes and is shocked and then she gets over it in that same episode

- it robs the doctor of a certain kind of agency and accountability. instead of a privileged time lord who got better through their travels and companions, now they’re an abused, adopted child who was always an outcast. and that’s not like..... an inherently bad story!! i get why that resonates with people, i do. BUT BUT BUT....... why does that have to be their story. why does that have to get shoved into the doctor’s backstory when that could be the story of a companion? why are you replacing one story when you could be creating new ones?

i think actually that’s my Main Gripe with all of this.

why is this the doctor’s story?

for an era that is supposed to be all about inclusivity and diversity and Space For All, why is the end result that the companions get shoved to the side in favour of doing gallifrey and the master again, in favour of Lore, in favour of the fuckin morbius doctors? why would you dangle jo martin in front of my face and then reduce her to the Magical Black Woman trope in this ep? why does the character who has up to this point been portrayed by 13 white men and 1 white woman, get the backstory about being an adoptee, why are you making all these past doctors people of colour and of different genders, instead of just... acknowledging that doctor who’s past wasn’t very diverse, and forging ahead with NEW stories instead. 

doctor who thrives on change, but this isn’t.... like it’s not going forward. it’s looking back and prioritising the past instead of focusing on the present, on the new generation. i didn’t like s11 much, but not using any past monsters was a good refreshing choice! no, they weren’t all great, but we got stuff like demons of the punjab and ITYA out of it, stories that were genuinely great and new. and in many ways s12 was an improvement, but going so full-in on classic monsters and stories... it felt like a step back.

i want new stories. tell me about yaz. tell me about ryan. tell me about places that aren’t england or gallifrey or other places we’ve been to. tell me about monsters that aren’t the daleks or cybermen or time lords. tell me about new mistakes the doctor makes. let her fuck up now, in the present. let her make bad decisions, let her do shitty things now, not lifetimes ago. let graham, yaz and ryan fuck up. let the fam clash with each other, really clash, not this half-assed stuff we had this season. tell me new stories with these new characters, that i still feel like i barely know despite having had two full seasons with them.

and give me jo martin as the 14th doctor goddamn

[jokingmaiden]

a sanders sides rant

warning, i have no idea as to where i’m gonna end up going with this. also, i’m bleeding and uncomfortable and upset so i’m prolly gonna be a lot meaner than usual. you don’t gotta read this, but i do honestly think i’ve got a few good points

so i’ve seen basically two perspectives in this fandom (logan and roman won’t be included in this rant bc the opinions on them vary a lot):

1.) patton is an uwu butterfly happy precious soft baby, virgil did nothing wrong and he’s trying his bEST, deceit and remus are toxic and they only want to hurt thomas >:(

and

2.) deceit and remus are misunderstood!! :( they just wanna help in their own way, virgil ABANDONED them, and patton is a horrible monster to everyone!! why does nobody see it the way i do!?!?

and im here to say,

both of you are wrong.

now, hear me out

humans are complicated creatures. nothing, and i mean NOTHING, is completely black and white. n o t h i n g. i will fight you on this

we’ll begin with deceit. the snake boy is lying, correct? i feel like i don’t have to explain too much on this one, since thomas basically did this for me in the courtroom video. he lies about basically everything, unless he’s asking a question. it’s honestly questionable if he can even tell the truth. so of course, lying is often a bad thing, especially about important stuff. lying can lead to/enable things like cheating, stealing, and manipulation. it’s very obviously, bad. BUT, just as Thomas showed us, lying can also be good sometimes! a white lie here and there can save someone a hurt heart, and sometimes it’s better to spare feelings by making some excuses for why you didn’t go to a thing. is it right? maybe not, but it can be good. and there is a gigantic distinction between good and right; it all comes down to morals. more on this later.

now, let’s look at virgil. again, not much has to be said, as thomas covered this on his own. anxiety is often perceived as a dark side, due to the often extreme cases it’s found in. for me, anxiety is often bad, because it prohibits me from being able to do shit, and therefore stops me from pursuing risky but possibly beneficial opportunities and whatnot. it can also prevent daily functioning. we see this over abundance in the earlier episodes. BUT, as shown in the “can anxiety be good” two-parter, humans are also in danger without anxiety, as fear is a natural survival instinct. it’s all about a balance, since we do not fear death without some level of anxiety, and therefore don’t take care of ourselves. so, in moderation, anxiety is necessary, and can be bad and good.

now, remus is a little more complicated. as someone with detrimental intrusive thoughts, it honestly pisses me off when i see “uwu precious baby” depictions of this character. his entire character is supposed to represent chaos and impulse, which (with intrusive thoughts) also represents a lack of innocence because of the thoughts’ nature. in essence, remus is pure, often crude, chaos. now, this doesn’t mean he’s all bad either. i’ve personally gotten many good story ideas from my wicked thoughts, which end up being class favorites in creative writing. with a proper outlet and coping system, intrusive thoughts can be super important to a person’s creativity, which is why remus is represented as roman’s brother. so, while his ideas can actually be good sometimes, and he makes for quite the comedian, he can also cause a large amount of distress. but he doesn’t really care about thomas. the point of him is, he doesn’t care about anything other than entertaining himself. which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it’s just his nature. he doesn’t have an alignment, persay, other than true chaotic neutral.

and finally, patton. ooh boy, this one’s gonna be a trip. now, we know patton represents morality. but, what is morality? well, by definition, morality is the human compass of right and wrong. but what is right and wrong?? see, these things are decided by the human society one resides in. in some countries, girls are still married off at fourteen to older men, and it’s seen as completely normal and necessary. in america, though, this is “disgusting” behavior, and completely immoral. incest, to humans, is super fucked up, not just because of the genetic disorders of the potential children, but also because “ew why.” in primates and other general species, however, if there is a shortage of mates, then siblings will mate to survive and carry on the gene pool without dying off. dogs are the best example of this, i think (hell, some humans even breed siblings to keep dogs purebred). my point is, morals are only decided by society, and are not a concrete, real concept. so, everything patton does is defined by societal and personal obligations.

because we’re taught to not lie no matter what in elementary, deceit isn’t acceptable to patton, until deceit shows how he can be useful to the group. because we aren’t naturally educated on what intrusive thoughts are, despite them occurring every 1 in 4 people, patton believes thomas actually wants to hurt someone, and therefore fears remus. but as logan teaches him to understand, he’s still uncomfortable, but he slowly comes to accept it as a part of life and be understanding to thomas. i’ve seen a lot of people saying patton is manipulative and shitty, which isn’t quite true. he is strict and narrow-minded because of how society conditioned thomas, even to the point where he lies to himself and the others just to fit into a mold, but he never intentionally manipulates anyone but himself. unsympathetic patton isn’t anything more than an AU, honestly. (side note, unless it’s in the u!patton au, him being discriminatory against lgbt+ in the sides is entirely unrealistic, since thomas is completely accepting. same with him beating the other sides into submission, since i think it’s safe to say thomas isn’t a violent person.)

NOW, i want you to notice how patton always changes his mind after logan explains, and often makes it a point to apologize to thomas for being so strict and set in his ways. he’s willing to change and understand, which is shown by him accepting virgil onto the team, who was previously a “dark side.” it’s all about education for patton; ignorance is the weakness of morality. the more logan teaches the sides, the more they understand each other, and the more patton comes to understand. he may be rough and rigid, but his misunderstandings are often the grounds for an episode’s conflict, because thomas is often stuck in the double-standards of societal expectations. i could go on about just patton and how he’s a beautifully complex character for hours, but i’ll continue from here now.

to wrap this up, i want you to notice how every single side is good in moderation, just like what Logan told us on the yurk schatzen curve. all of the sides have their own, well, sides, and are good and bad in their own ways. in general, every side is necessary somehow to thomas, and they all need to learn to work together to provide the best for their host.

now, notice in sanders asides, how all of the sides show up in the same room? remus is even technically hanging out with them (in the BUFF). there isn’t a literal division between the dark or light sides. in fact, they hardly even exist! they’re all just sides, which make up thomas. they may be depicted as their own characters, but they’re all still pieces of a big ol’ puzzle. none of them are just good or just bad, and those of you who picture them as only “uwu soft babies” or “shitty toxic pieces” are insulting thomas’s genius work. so maybe it’s time to reevaluate how you see them, hm?

TL;DR: not a single one of the sides is just good or just bad, and the whole “dark/light sides” thing isn’t even real. everyone works together, subconsciously or otherwise, to make thomas himself. they’re all growing together, and the love and understanding between them increases each episode. please, stop glorifying/villainizing the sides. they’re COMPLEX for a reason, and flattening their characters is an insult to the beautiful lore thomas makes for us!

[radioactivepeasant]

Fic Prompts: Star Wars Wednesday

It was truly a testament to the sheer chaos of his surroundings that he didn't realize there was a Sith present until it was too late.

Of course, his progress in using the Force to identify threats hadn't exactly progressed as far as picking out specific individuals. He'd just sort of had a constant buzz of impending danger and people with harmful intentions since he'd landed. It was a city with known Black Sun ties, after all.

Luke was just glad that his part in the mission was over. He'd made contact with a spy looking to leave the criminal organization, escorted them to the city, and kept cover even after passing them along to Rebel agents who would smuggle them offworld. Now he just needed to casually make his own getaway in a city district where everyone outside was looking at him like a potential threat or a potential target.

The "ambush" didn't catch him off-guard. For a boy who had grown up closer to Mos Eisely than he would've liked (even the other side of the planet would've been too close for most), spotting someone following him was almost second nature. So when the hulking human grabbed his shoulder from behind, Luke twisted out of his grip before he had a chance to shove his blaster into his back. He shoved the man, hard.

"Hey, I don't want any trouble," he said, in the warning tone of one who would start trouble if he found it necessary. "Just take it easy."

[[MORE]]

His attacker grinned, showing unnaturally white teeth. "Don't want any trouble? Well that's too bad, isn't it? You're trespassing on Black Sun property, kiddo. So unless you paid the toll, you're gonna have a bad time."

Luke grimaced. He'd heard better threats, in his experience. But the intent to harm rolled off this man clearly. He was probably just looking for an excuse to fight. Luke had dodged a lot of impromptu clashes between Black Sun supporters and smaller, local gangs who resented their presence. It had kept the local Imperials very busy, which had worked to Luke's advantage during the mission. But this was far less convenient.

There was a commotion down the street behind him, and the distant sound of blasterfire, but Luke ignored it when three other men joined the one harassing him. Three against one wasn't exactly good odds -- Han would tell him to forget the odds, Luke bet -- but Luke could hold his own in a gunfight. The problem was, this was much too close range. Finding cover would be difficult. And using his lightsaber here would draw the wrong kind of attention.

Luke was not eager to repeat his experiences on the smugglers' moon.

He felt a surge of warning, as if all his hair was standing on end. His chest felt tight, and he assumed it was just anxiety as he dodged the grasping hand of one of the attackers and jumped back several steps.

The four men halted so abruptly that they seemed to freeze in place. With a shaking hand, one raised a blaster and fired. But not at Luke.

The bolt streaked past Luke, high and to the left. The shooter dropped his blaster to clutch his throat, gasping. He dropped an instant later.

Luke had a bad feeling about this.

The man who had initially stopped him pointed his weapon directly at Luke's head.

"I think this guy's a Rebel!" he shouted, "Don't worry, I got 'im!"

Luke moved on instinct. In the half second between the gangster speaking and squeezing the trigger, Luke had brought his lightsaber up and into a guard position. The bolt bounced off the blade and straight back into the man's chest. He stared in disbelief at the wound for a moment, then fell.

"Your skill with the blade has improved, young Skywalker."

Luke came to the sudden, horrible realization that the Force hadn't been warning him about the gangsters. He turned slowly, too apprehensive to even think about the risks of turning his back on the other two men. Just as he'd feared, Darth Vader stood just a few meters away, with two stormtroopers.

This time, Luke wasn't going to rush in blindly the way he had on Cymoon. Not that he thought that would save him this time.

"You can blame your buddy, Kreel, for that," Luke croaked in an effort to sound defiant and not terrified.

Vader tilted his helmet slightly to one side -- a jarringly disarming gesture -- and made an unidentifiable sound. "Yes. I had hoped that he would at least further your knowledge beyond whatever dismal attempts Kenobi made."

Something cold and fearful twisted in Luke's gut. It slithered up his spine to wrap around his heart. Darth Vader...wanted him to learn lightsaber combat? But he had destroyed the Jedi! He had killed Luke's father! What was he trying to accomplish?

Vader took a step forward, and Luke stumbled a step back, despite himself. Behind him, he heard the last two men shift, and something metallic clicked. The Force swirled around him, warm in warning and yet at the same time colder than anything Luke had ever felt.

In front of him, Vader made a gesture with his hand. Behind him, there was a loud crack, and two thumps. Luke didn't have to look to know the men were dead. To his shock, the two stormtroopers with Vader dropped dead just as the gangsters did.

He killed his own men? Why?

Luke stared down at the bodies, then slowly raised his head to look at the Sith lord. He couldn't understand why he was still breathing. And then, as unexpectedly as everything else, Darth Vader spoke.

"At our first meeting," he said slowly, with no apparent need to rush, "You accused me of killing your father."

Luke remembered all too well.

"You don't even remember," he snapped, "You've killed too many fathers to know the difference."

"No."

That one word brought Luke up short. He tensed, trying to regulate his breathing with little success. His heart felt like it was going to just break out of his chest and make a run for it at this point. He raised his lightsaber with shaking hands. It wasn't much of a defense, but it was better than nothing.

With barely a twitch, Vader snatched the hilt from Luke's hand and switched off the blade. He clipped it to his belt and stepped closer.

"I spoke flippantly then, as I was not aware of your identity at the time."

There was something very dangerous in those words. An undercurrent of an old anger, and an imminent threat. Luke would have run if his feet hadn't been rooted to the spot. He tried and failed three times to speak before the words crawled out.

"Why does my identity change anything?"

As if a Sith and an Imperial would tell the truth. As if Vader wasn't about to murder him and ensure the death of another potential Jedi.

But Vader did not kill him. He was silent for three, nerve-wracking seconds before taking one final step towards Luke. He was inches away now, blocking out the fading light.

"I have killed many fathers, young one," he said in an unusually soft voice, "But not yours."

The ground seemed to fall out from under Luke's feet. Vader...hadn't killed Anakin Skywalker? He had to be lying. Because if he wasn't, then Obi-wan had been wrong. Or lying.

Without really knowing why, Luke asked shakily, "W- what do- what do you even want?"

He flinched as a hand, heavy as lead, dropped to his shoulder in an iron grip.

"To complete your training," Vader answered simply, "And to take back what is mine."

Luke stared up at him, horrified and bewildered. The Dark Side. He had to be talking about the Dark Side! Luke wouldn't turn. He couldn't! Which meant that he was probably going to die shortly.

Vader shifted and, almost tentatively, touched his other hand to Luke's forehead for an instant. "You have no reason to fear me," he said. The words sounded stiff and unpracticed, coming from him. "I do not wish to harm you. So long as you do not cause any harm in return, I can hide your existence from the emperor."

Luke trembled. If he was taken prisoner, everything he knew about the Alliance was in jeopardy. Compartmentalization protected a lot of those secrets, but he knew things about Leia most others didn't. And he didn't want Vader even speaking her name after what he'd done.

"Thought you killed Jedi," Luke managed, barely audible now.

Vader considered this, then began to walk. His grip on Luke's shoulder drew him along unwillingly and stumbling over his own feet.

"The Force is with you, young one." Vader sounded almost amused. "But you are not a Jedi yet. You do not yet understand the scope of the lies you have been told. But you will. Soon."

Luke had a very bad feeling about this.

[greenninjagal-blog]

Your pj au is so good! I’m curious, how did you decide on the different godly parents? Virgil as Hypnos is really interesting!

[Fanfiction this is based on]

Okay anon, the first thing you need to know for this is that i got my start at writing from the Percy Jackson fandom. Which means that i read a lot of fanfiction and then was like “…what if i could do this, but the way i want to???”

The second thing is that i adore the hell out of Ethan Nakmura.

Ergo while everyone was out there making OCs that were children of the big three, i was quietly researching the minor gods that are mentioned like once and never again.

Clovis showed up in TLH and its implied he sleeps all day, dreamwalks, and keeps to himself. You know who sounds like he’d like being alone all the time and can casually freak out about whether a dream is a demigod one or just a normal weird dream? Virgil.

Theres a line in like MoA I think where the Seven are going to find Nike, and Percy mentions that the Nike kids are always instigating competitions, which i have never once been able to get out of my head. You know whos just insecure and determined enough to want to continually prove himself to be better even if hes not? Roman.

(And twin? Brother?? To a Nike Kid??? Remus has got to be a son of Victoria. The Roman part of him would absolutely not let him rest until he overtakes the Greeks.)

Ill admit i was gonna make Dee a son of Janus, god of choices, transitions, and new beginings, but the more I thought of hin the more i was like “this has ethan vibes this has ethan vibes THIS HAS ETHAN VI–” so i caved made the poor boy a Greek in Rome. Lies are all about balancing the truth with the fabrication, and he went and played a lawyer in SvS. My hands were tied.

Logan was always a toss up between Athena and Hephaestus. Theyre both insanely smart, but for the plot i needed a roman based Logan and Minvera doesnt have roman children according to SoN. I would have done Bellona, but i couldnt pass up Logan with fire powers literally building himself friends because he doesnt understand other humans. So Vuclan it is.

Do not get me started on Patton. My God. I still dont know who hes the kid of (which is part of the reason why the story hasnt gone anywhere). Iris is an underrated goddess. But then again so is Comus, the god of Merrymaking, and Tyche, the goddess of luck, and Pasithea, goddess of relaxation. All of which have excellent points: they make people like him! Patton likes when people like him! He even likes them when they take advantage of him! The main thing i needed in the plot was for Virgil to see him as someone who was kind to him, but also hopelessly bad at protecting him (whether or not thats actually true), and for him to be a minor influence in Camp Half Blood because he, roman, and Logan embark on a “quest” withoht permission to do so and it needs to be at least a day before anyone notices theyre gone.

Character Thomas is a son of Poseidon because, im sorry, he gives strong Percy Vibes to me. Hes relaxed and casual and clever and he jokes even at the bad times. If the world were ending, id want thomas to be the one leading us to victory. Joan is the bestest of best friends that i could think of, and dont you dare tell me that Grover is not Percy’s best friend. I’ll fight. Also i love the idea of Joan and Thomas meeting in boarding school and immediately becoming ride-or-die best friends, okay. Talyn would probably be an excellent Hecate kid, but i like the idea of them and joan both being able to control plants. Idk why, dont ask. I chose Demeter for them because of the down-to-earth vibes they give off. And if Talyn was gonna kill someone i think they’d use poisons, and what better access to then then being able to grow your own.

This has been, a needlessly long and complex reasoning of my thoughts. Im totally down to hear others thoughts on these too though. Mostly i was bored with the “Virgil is a son if Hades” idea and built off that.

[Next Ask]

[thereal-dj215]

I gave social media a break cuz it was really starting to look like a place where mostly everyone came to complain, cry, speculate, assume, showoff, and pretend to be something that we weren't, and I was guilty of it to. So if my 14 year old daughter doesn't even have a Facebook account by choice then I think I can give it a break for a lil. And it's not because she's not allowed to have social media that she doesn't participate. It's because she realized right away what it was, and even worse where it's going. And that's what made me take a real hard, honest look at myself, and what I been doing as far as the negative energy I been putting out into the world. And let me first be clear, I'm not accusing everyone of using social media that way, but let's be honest. I'm just guessing, probably 80% of what we post and see on social media sites is bullshit, lies, propaganda, fiction, and I can go on, but you get what I'm trying to say. That's what we're wasting our time on, instead of using that time to better ourselves, and the world around us. That's what we're filling our heads with, and even worse its what our children are filling their heads with, and we're allowing it, basically telling them that it's okay to believe everything you see on social media. It's okay to treat people the way a lot of people are treated these days on social media sites. I've heard parents try to explain to me their logic behind them thinking "social media isnt that bad for the children", And I'm overreacting, "it's really not that deep" they say to me. I'm just gonna give one example but I've heard worse then this but I heard a parent say "it's doesn't mean anything, or it's ok for lil Johnny to treat someone with evil intent, bully, or make fun of other people on social media because it's only a computer".............. If your jaw isn't already stuck wide open in shock I'll wait a little longer for that comment to sink in..........

Ok, isn't that just the dumbest, most naive thing you ever heard? What's even crazier then that is that a lot of people actually think like this. Their is another human being on another computer, phone, laptop, what ever smart device that is reading that. Someone else's daughter, or son. Please try and think about that. And definitely think about that with even more concer before whatever it is your about to post, share, or comment on because you really can't say how many people possibly are going to see it and we have to be more mindful of that. I'm gonna stop here cuz I can go on for ever on this topic, and all different directions with this. I definitely will continue to post more of my thoughts like this in the days to come. But I'm asking you to do just a couple easy things during these crazy times we ARE ALL going through.. Turn off the news, stop watching/listening to all the Coronavirus hoopla for at least a half hour. I would recommend more time but really this can help even if you do this for a half hour each day.

1st. Go on social media, and scroll down your wall and really try and pay attention to all the different posts, examine everything, the messages, the messengers, the reactions/comments, the language used, the ages of the people of some of the comments that catch your eye. Really pay attention, and do this all with an open mind and being true to yourself.

2nd. Now, ask yourself. And again really try to be honest, because your only fooling yourself in the end.. Is this something that is good for humanity? Should children be allowed to navigate on these social media sites freely and without any kind of proper training (that's a whole topic I'll get into another time), ask yourself is this really something that is helping humanity in a positive way, or is it hurting us?? Seriously, their is no right or wrong answers. This is all a matter of opinion, and who knows, (my ultimate goal) We can learn something from all this if we are true to ourselves, and respectful, and open to others opinions. Another question I almost always find myself asking when I login to my social media, Am I going to finally not see a negative, disrespectful comment or post today, because theirs never been a time when I logged on to social media sites at least for 10 mins and could say, Finally, a day where everyone was nice and respectful today. No one's feelings got hurt, and Everyone told the truth.(another goal I want to achieve).

Now this has always been on my mind. I have a lot of mixed emotions about social media, and let me say this, not everything on social media is negative. It has its moments, but let's be real. Their few and far between. Since this Virus,(I refuse to say the whole word ever again) has lead us to social distance ourselves physically from each other, and the government pretty much stopped and we were forced to stay inside. Here's another one of my wild guesses, I'm It's prolly just easier to say we have increased our social media use a lot more . So I've had a lot more time to really get to know myself, and others as well, and I'm including human beings as a whole in that. I'm guilty of this to. But we really need to take a look at how were acting, what were saying to each other, what were teaching our kids and that means what were letting them think it's okay for them to just log onto a site that you really don't know who's on the other end of one of them mean, disrespectful, or even positive comments aimed to lure them in for all the wrong reasons.

Ok ok I'm rambling.. . I think I heard this on Jerry Springer show ages ago..Lol

My Final Thought: "Be mindful of what we say on the internet, and how we say it. Pay more attention to what our kids are looking at on the net as a whole not just social sites. Let them know not everything, and everyone is truthful on there. But this most of all and why I originally started this post, WE NEED TO BE HONEST AT ALL TIMES TO OTHERS, OUR CHILDREN, but most of all, OURSELVES....

This was started mostly as a form of meditation for myself because writing is one of the few things that relaxes me. Another reason was Im always in protection mode for my daughter. And to take my mind off all the Coronavirus BS, and all while doing that I always hope I'm helping others in some way. Thank You,

D.J.

Feel free, I encourage you to comment, leave your thoughts, and share this with others please. If you wanna help others like I do then please share this, cuz that will help me to continue to write, and better myself and hopefully reach others that don't know certain things and get something from this...

[pinksvnt]

pairing: reader x vernon

genre: fluff

word count: 2,099

sypnosis: both you and Vernon are idols and hes struggling with his own jealousy that he thinks isnt justified.

    Vernon watched every step you’d make, cheering you on silently and loving every moment the camera would focus on only you. It wasn't often when your respective groups would promote at the same times but whenever they did he always made an effort to see as much as your performance as possible. You brought so much joy into his life and he couldn't quite understand why but when you two first met as a group to awkwardly exchange albums he caught himself fixed on only you. A few months later you two are now here, happily dating and still a bit awkward around each other but that was just your two personalities clashing together to form one huge mess.

    “Vernonie you can look away from the screen for second and she will still be there you know?” Seungkwan teased him by nudging him to the side and watching y/n just as he was. “Ah, still can’t believe she’s so pretty but just as awkward as you…” Vernon could not even fight that statement as it was the truth, but he didn't mind, at the end of the day he was just happy you two were together.

    “Speaking about crazy things to believe, why haven't you two gone public yet. Or at least snuck out for date late at night because video calls and very short lived conversations here don't seem too fun for a young couple? Maybe even just a car date, i'll drive it'll be like I’m driving my son and his girlfriend to the movies! What do you say Vernon?” Seungcheol wrapped his arm around his shoulder, giving him a gummy smile that quickly went away when Vernon quickly turned down the odd offer.

    “We’re fine Seungcheol, if anything I need some help getting over other things” Maybe he shouldn't be thinking of these sort of things just before a performance, he could end up fumbling on stage and making himself look bad, but also if he didnt at least say what was bothering him then he could have the same outcome. “I think I’m jealous” Not only was the interest of just Seungcheol peaked but so was every one of his members which made embarrassment set in.

    “What exactly are you Jealous of?” Joshua came up from what seemed like out of nowhere to join the conversation.

    “I don’t know, other guys I guess” He heard one his members snort and now he was just starting to feel stupid, like these feelings. “Maybe we should just dro-”

    “He’s right, let’s drop the conversation and bring it back up at the dorm but right now we have to perform, clear your head, it’ll be fine” Minghao patted him on the shoulder as they all started making their way to stage. On their way there, Vernon was lucky enough to pass by y/n.

    “You did great out there y/n” He sort of whispered to you as your members started giggling and whispering amongst each other while they watched your quick exchange.

    “You’ll do great yourself!” You threw him two thumbs up and he immediately felt a tad bit better, he needed some support from you to clear his head long enough to make it through the performance.

---

    “I can’t believe I was the one who fumbled” Soonyoung was groaning and pouting all over the waiting room over his little mess up, which wasn't even truly his fault.

    “Your shoelace got untied, let it go. It wasn't even a big slip anyway, and plus we were practically done with the set. Don’t be so dramatic” Seungcheol was doing his best to help soonyoung get over his little slip up while it seems everyone had forgotten about Vernon talking about being jealous. Which he was okay with honestly. It was going to save him from saying anything dumb. Joshua plopped down beside him, handing him a bottle of water, Vernon ended up chugging it not even truly realizing before how thirsty he was.

    “It’s normal to be jealous yanno?” To his own dismay, it seemed like Joshua was the only one who didn't forget about their conversation earlier. “Your girlfriend is pretty, guys like pretty girls, she's an idol, she’s gonna get male attention no matter what. Of course you’ll be sitting here feeling jealous when there's tons of guys eyeing her and screaming her name. They wanna be with her too yanno. And I'm not saying this to make you self conscious or anything but its the truth” Joshua just looked at him, what he said really didn't make him feel all to better about anything. So Vernon was just at a lost as to why he felt the need to tell him such a thing. “Girls scream your name, girls want to be with you, a lot of our fans are really pretty you can't deny it, so it's safe to assume she's jealous too. Why wouldn't you two be? It’s normal Vernon, just talk it out with her. She’ll get it and you’ll feel better talking about it with her” Okay, now he understood, it was probably a bit selfish of him to only have thought of his own feelings and not even considered the idea that you two could be feeling jealous of the girls you're around and the girls that call out your name.

    “Thanks Josh, I’ll talk to her when we get back to the dorms” He and Joshua ended up knuckle punching each other and chuckling a bit best bros lol  before turning towards Seungkwan and Seokmin who were playing a game in front of everyone.

---

    Vernon had been thinking about what Joshua had told him since they left the venue and now his mind was trying to come up with different ways in which he could bring up his own jealousy with you. Truth be told the only reason you two ended up dating was because you were friends with Seungkwan first and you confessed you had feelings for Vernon, which ultimately lead to Seungkwan setting you two up because in his own words they both are ‘too dense to even realize they're hungry’.

    It had been a few hours since they got back to their dorms and Vernon was completely settled by this time, so he figured this was a good time to call you up and try to get himself to talk about how he's feeling.

    Going through his contacts he got a bit distracted by the image you had set as your image. It was his favorite photo, it was cute but not in the typical way, your face was covered in frosting and you had a huge smile on your face. The day he took that photo was on your birthday, you tripped while trying to get into your seat and face palmed into the cake he brought you. It was really unforgettable. Anyway, he got himself to finally press the call button and he was going to do his best to not avoid the conversation he wants to have with you.

    “Hello?” you had whispered into your phone which left him a bit confused.

“Hey y/n, i just wanted to talk to you about som-”

    “I’m sorry Vernon but is it important? I have to meet with someone and I can’t be late. Could we talk about this later possibly?” Maybe he should have texted you first to make sure you even available, he felt a little stupid honestly. Was this important? Who were you even going to meet at night?

“Oh, uh yeah, it can wait, call or text me when you can…” Vernon ended up bringing the phone away from his face without even hearing your answer and when he heard the dial tone playing, signalling that you had hung up he groaned loudly. You told him everything and now he felt like he was turning into a pile of goop. Who were you going to meet? And why were they so important for you to meet? If it had been your ceo that you were going to see, you would've told him right away, that's what you always did. It seemed like the effect of what Joshua told him earlier had faded. Until Vernon heard from you he was going to remain a fumbling mess.

---

    Vernon was startled awake by his ringtone, he took a glimpse at the time reading 3am and your name under he felt instantly worried him so he took no second longer to answer your call.

    “y/n what's wrong” he sounded terrible groggy, he was embarrassed but he didn't really have the energy to focus on that right now.

    “Nothing is wrong silly…. I just want to hear your voice” He was always just a bit confused when he was fully awake but having just been woken up, Vernon was struggling really hard to form a sentence.

    “Im awake” He heard you faintly giggling before someone in the background went about shushing you.

    “I'm sorry for waking you, maybe we should head to bed, Goodnight Vernon” And that was that, you hung up on him yet again, he would've stayed awake longer but the bed was pulling him back forcefully to fall asleep.

    When he finally did wake up in the morning he almost convinced himself that it was simply a dream so he thought nothing of it. Then after finally taking a quick glimpse at his call history a bit more anxiety awoke inside of him. Last night was weird, you weren't one to ever turn him away or hang up calls, and with his prior issue of jealousy he could barely manage to think straight. So he just lied there staring at his ceiling, trying to convince himself that his jealousy wasn't important enough to bring up to you. He stayed like that for a few hours arguing back and forth with himself trying to figure things out, but just the sheer thought of you possibly liking someone else felt like a punch in the gut. He had to call you and this time he was not going to let you hang up. Reaching for his phone and calling you up he took a deep breath and was pleasantly surprised when you answered basically right away.

“Vernon! good mor- well more like afternoon, you must've been tired huh?” Even through just the tone of your voice he could tell you were smiling widely.

“Y-yeah, well no, I've been awake for a few hours actually” He didn't really think about how he should ease into the conversation, and even though this was all he had running through his mind he didn't want to over think his words.

“Oh well, you should've called me earlier I would've sent you some breakfast that we made over at my dorm”

“You could still se- wait no y/n I'm calling you because we need to talk. Talk about us?”

“Oh-” you paused “uhm what specifically” he now could very easily tell the difference in the way you spoke and now he was feeling more nervous than before.

“I- I'm jealous y/n. I think I'm jealous of the fact that maybe some of your fans see you in person more than I do. Even though it sounds kinda du-”

“No! Vernon, it's not dumb. I'm really glad you brought it up because I thought I was insane for feeling the same way. You know, all these pretty girls will talk to you and get to see you often but the most we get is a video call on good days” Vernon's own worries are now slowly slipping away from him and he couldn't help but sigh I'm relief to your response.

“....wow, I am- relieved” he face palmed himself and grunted just before sinking into his bed and wanting to punch himself for not getting this out sooner.

“I think we're both just, doofs…. Cause I would never want to be with anyone but you” y/n practically whispered the second half of that sentence into the phone and it was the reassurance Vernon needed. On one hand, he always knew you were happy with him and wouldn't leave him for another, but jealousy really gets to a person.

“I'm happy with you, y/n. We can make this work for as long as you want me by your side” His own face was burning up, why did he say something so dramatic and embarrassing. But it was true, as long as you would continue to want Vernon in your life, he'd stay right by your side.

[somebodyhelpthenotdeadfreds]

So. *cracks knuckes* I hear you have an au idea for Gary Green. Could you maybe talk about it a bit more? *crosses fingers* (im terrible im sorry)

 *crackles knuckles* settle down around the fire, I’ll spin a half-formed tale that is slowly growing into a real fic. Inspiration comes from my lovely Discord server and @agentmarymargaretskitz who encourages all my cracky AUs.

So John, Ava, and Gary are out on a mission for the Legends. This is after the whole ‘good and evil’ talk (sidenote: forever bitter that that was not an ONSCREEN conversation but i digress) so the tension between the two is a real ‘will they/won’t they’ mixed with the sexual tension as always. Ava doesn’t want to be here, but somebody needs to be a responsible adult.

Eventually, after *insert bullshit magic yadadada* Gary turns a corner and BAM.

“Gary, what happened?” Ava yells after hearing him yelp.“I - think I ran into a wall,” Gary calls back, rubbing his forehead, touching over his temples because damn, that’s what the pain feels like but - there’s no wall. There’s nothing. It just feels like a migraine.

He goes home that night and the headache has spread to a neck and back ache, as well. Oh well, probably pulled a muscle, it’ll be fine.

For some reason, he eats five eggs (scrambled a little raw) for breakfast and the ache is dull, humming under his skin. His mouth actually waters as Mona passes by his work desk with food for the creatures, he’s - starving.

Nate doesn’t question his eating of an entire can of chicken liver pate, plain, at his desk.

The headache’s back, and it’s worse.

It’s soothed slightly by a rare steak he makes at home, but now it feels like he’s buzzing with energy as he lays drained on the couch.

“I - think I have an iron deficiency,” he murmurs to nobody, as per usual.

There’s a purr from the back of his brain: No.

It’s all he remembers before falling asleep.

For the next three days, he’s basically been eating nothing but protein yet he’s never felt more tired in his life. Nobody says a thing to him.“Sorry Green, got the last 8 O’Clock,” McNeil laughs at him, the treacherous Keriug already filling up his cup. Gary rolls his eyes, but he finds he can’t roll them back forward again as words escape his mouth“You touch my coffee again, I’ll rip your lungs out and feed them to you.”

His eyes suddenly roll forward again and he blinks a few times before giving a high, awkward laugh. at McNeil’s startled expression. 

“You - you know me, not the same without morning coffee!” He takes whatever’s in the communal pot and sits back down at his desk, shaking his head and blinking a few more times. He gets through until lunch until he - suddenly blacks out.

He wakes up again in the afternoon, in the empty bathroom on the -3rd floor that nobody ever uses, covered in blood. That’s enough to make him panic, never mind the three empty pint containers of blood, a fourth in his hand and all over his mouth.

He stumbles out of the stall and washes his face in the sink, and when he looks up his reflection is smirking with coal-black eyes. He rubs his eyes and turns away, that purring voice pressing behind his temple. 

Hello.

“Uh, hi. What - who are you?” he asks, because damn his ingrained politeness.A friend.“I - I don't believe that.”Gary. All I want to do is help you.“...could you - not, do that,” Gary muttered, cleaning the messy stall.It’s taken longer to gain any control over you than normal humans.“...sorry?”Pure souls are hard to break.“I’m - not - a virgin, if that’s what you mean.”Oh, I know. You think about it a lot.“Don’t - don’t read my thoughts!”Too late. You’re tired, let me - drive. Close your eyes, let me-“No! Shut up!” Gary says too loudly out loud as he walks into the break room. He grabs a danish and scurries back out of there to avoid confrontation.

And instead of that, he walks right into John Constantine, looking ruggedly handsome (like always dammit Gary shut up) while he’s got crumbs all over his lips and dark circles under his eyes.“Hey, Squire,” John smirks with a cigarette between his lips even if the building’s nonsmoking. Gary opens his mouth to respond back when that awful migraine, like claws sinking into his frontal lobe, returns and he winces.“Sorry, migraines,” he explains in a rush, heading back to his desk without another look his way.

It’s too much to deal with, he opens the door to Ava’s office, knowing he looks like a wreak and she’s - so annoyed to see him, it’s so obvious, and he tries to explain, Ava, Boss-Lady, I’m - I’m sick, I’m sick, something’s wrong - “something’s wr-”“Gary, just go home,” Ava says curtly, going back to her meeting with the Legends. He lets the door close and heads on the walk home alone, only his feet carry him somewhere else.

When he’s finally back in his apartment, eating through two packages of raw lamb, the voice comes back.They’re mean to you.“I - they’re my friends, I was - I was being annoying.”Friends shouldn’t do that.“You - what do you know about friends? Where - where are you from?”Hell.“Okay. Okay, that’s normal. Why - why are you inside of me? Oh, no, that came out wrong.”Reasons you can’t know, not yet.“...cool. Look - look, don’t bother possessing me. Look at me, I’m worthless. I trip over my own carpet four times a week sober.”I...can help.“I don’t want to hurt anyone.”People deserve it.“I don’t need to hurt them, though.”Humans are dumb, Gary. All of them. You, not so much.

It’s weird, to have this conversation with essentially your own brain as you speak out loud and then have words and voice that aren’t yours come out of your mouth.

Give me a chance to take control. I’ll give you what you want, then you can let me what what I want, the demon says. (Gary’s calling him Joe, because his vocal chords cannot replicate the name that swirled in his brain)

“...you get one day to convince me,” Gary states firmly, and no sooner do those words leave his lips then his vision goes black.

When he wakes up, it’s to everything he’s ever wanted in the world. The A/C’s never on the fritz, the neighbors are quiet, the shower always has hot water, the apartment’s bigger, and there’s - a blonde warlock in his bed that kisses him before Gary has to leave for work.

He has his OWN office at work, his own Keriug, he’s employee of the month and number one agent, all the bells and whistles and everyone is actually glad to see him and greet him, even Ava, even all the Legends. Everything is so goddamn perfect, especially a visit from said blonde warlock in the afternoon, in his lap in his own office, smiling that rare real smile.

And then John Constantine says to him, Gary Green: “I love you.”

Gary sits straight up from where’s he’s been out cold on his couch, gasping for air and he doesn’t know why, he just knows his heart is racing because - 

What’s wrong? It’s what you want.“It’s not,” Gary whispers, lying but not lying, picking up his phone. “I don’t want lies. I don’t want to be lied to.”

It’s 6 o’clock. He’s been MIA an entire day and a half. There’s a single message, from Ava, at two in the afternoon: Gary, why aren’t you at work? You need to call if you can’t come in, remember.

That’s it. Nothing about his well-being, his whereabouts, about him.

Gary throws his phone into the opposite armchair and cries into a stupid throw pillow he got as a stupid giveaway at an office supply store. Not even a housewarming pillow.

There’s a hesitant warmth, just under the degree of burning, under the skin of his aching shoulder, spreading down his back.I want to help.

“How?”Whatever you need.

The knock at the door and the British accented “Gary, love, you awake?” sends Gary scrambling to shove bloody wrappers under the couch, quickly rinsing his face off before answering the door even as the voice hisses Noooot Constantine. “Hush,” Gary whispers harshly before throwing the door open.

John takes in Gary’s red-tinged eyes, dark circles beneath those, the general paleness and exhaustion. “Weren’t around today.”

“Sick,” Gary offers quickly. “Think - I have a bug. I’m fine, don’t - your’e not worried, duh, just - thanks, thank you for - checking in.”

There’s something - wrong, John can’t put a finger on it, but just nods in agreement. There’s too long a pause before the goodbyes, enough time for an embrace or a kiss, but neither offers either option. The door just closes between them afterwards.

I said humans were dumb, Gary.“Not - not all humans.”You aren’t. John Constantine, of all the humans, is the dumbest.“Hey, no, don’t say that stuff.”Yes, because you want to fuck-“Do - NO, that’s not why-”I can read your thoughts. Humans usually don’t break out of those fantasies like what I put you in. Why did you?“...it’s not real.”The warmth wraps around his arm, if that were possible. This is.Gary actually smiled. “...yeah, it is.”

Apparently, it’s easy to get used to possession, so long as your demon stays well-fed. Bloodlust can be avoided as long as there is actual blood to consume. Gary knows this butchery too well by the end of the first two weeks.

We should kill him, the demon tells Gary when McNeil steals the last K-cup again.“No, I said we wouldn’t do that....unless we had a reason.” Truth be told, he’s probably on borrowed time before he finally kills, he knows that. So far, the blood’s working to keep him satisfied.You hate him. That’s a reason. Or the man downstairs for being loud. We can rip his lungs out.“Not gonna happen.”

Ava’s in a very important business meeting with Mr. Heywood, and Gary’s leading the Legends to the waiting room outside her office to wait it out.

“So what’s this about?” Sara asks him.“Boss lady won’t let me say, you know that.”“Mick.”Oh god, Gary thinks before his vision tints into black tones.Before Mick can grab Gary, all he sees are Gary’s eyes visibly turning solid black for a brief moment before he has one hand in Mick’s collar and holding him up against the wall and snarling, “I said to WAIT.”

Then he shifts back and looks terrified for a second, dropping Mick down and offering sheepishly with a laugh, “I - sorry, no coffee. Did I mention I’ve been working out? Gotta run!”

He’s out of there, “What was that?”He was bothering you.“How did I do that?”I did it.

Then Gary’s flicking his hand to the right and McNeil’s chair spins out of control and he falls out of it onto the linoleum, precious coffee spilling everywhere.

Gary smiles despite himself. “We can’t do this a lot.”But we can do it?“...we can do it sometimes.”

For more, stay tuned for the upcoming fic!!!! Whew, I hope you like this NOVELLA that I answered you with!