#im gonna tell him says lamb

[aveloka-draws]

Your art of the disciples and comics are mint, Saleos chomping on stitches like the world’s worst thread clippers was not what expected to be on my feed but greatly appreciated - I go back to stare at your kalleos art like the gaping abyss that stares back at you at night. I would imagine that Saleos is the freakiest out of all of Kallamar’s spouses (it’s always the quiet ones) and the others might regularly whack him over the head for it. Or would they be just as creepy?

Also, what is kalleos’ relationship right now? Unspoken marriage? A squid and his stalker? I always love the parallels between their relationship and the cat lamb disaster duo, I feel like Saleos and Lamb dealing with the same shit would make them have some drinking buddy solidarity that the ex-gods might not understand/be confused about. I think them and the other “obsessed with an ex-god” people could form a club, and Theon is invited without knowing why while the lamb and Saleos have the most “knows shit but waiting for it to hit the fan” knowing looks.

I like to think they are all creepy in their own way, i dont think you can be in a cult dating your god and be normal but thats just my take on it jsjsj.

And im guessing they are back to being spouses even while Kallamar is getting used to the camp.

[simonsrileyhusband]

heya!! I have a request, but it's more of a specific scenario if you're okay with it?

I had that scenario in mind for days, but basically-- reader is Simon's husband for years now and Simon did everything to keep him secret and out of harm's way in any way he could.

141 Task Force is debriefing after a long mission until the comms crackles to life and someone's voice comes through and says smth like "Simon, hows the husband?" first off outing Simon before the 141 force

and essentially it just turns out its a guy they failed to kill on the previous mission and he went after reader instead to try and get back what 141 took :D

Im sorry if it's too long or bothersome!! Feel free to change anything as you please or ignore this if it doesn't give you any inspiration !

dark-ish simon and supportive task 141: (violence and... "offing" someone)

simon got a text from a random number, a granny and low quality picture of his home, you in your little light blue apron in the kitchen, preparing something for dinner.

his heart started to bear faster than ever, his fist gripping thightly around his bear bottle, almost breaking it. price quicks him out of his frozen state.

"ya' good mate?"

simon doesnt answer, he stands up grabbing the keys to his truck and speeds to your shared home. he didnt even noticed he left his phone at the table. soap takes a quick look at it, a little message below the text read: ill make you pay, your husband will have a little visit from me.

"husband? ghost has a husband?"

"shut up kyle, grab yer things, we have to help him."

when the rest of them arrive there is nothing they can do. simon is repitedly punching the face of a limp body, his breath is steady, his movements methodical, if you had to describe the scene to someone who wasnt there, you'll tell them he looked like a hungry wolf tearing up a lamb, rabid and groteque.

the 3 men had to pull them away from the breathless body of the guy that thought of harming his husband. they gave simon a understanding look.

"go with him, we'll take care of.... this." simon nods at princes comment, taking a few seconds to steady his racing mind. he saw the body get thrown into the back of soaps car, he watched them leave, he walked home, his heaby boots heavy on the wooden floor of the porch, the same boots that broke the bones of that men.

he entered home, the smell of meat and smashed potatoes filled the air. he went to the kitchen and hugged you tightly, his hands gripping your shirt and apron, as if he let go of you, you will dissapear.

"hi~ i thought you were gonna be out for a little longer, dinner isnt ready yet."

"mhm...." his nose has buried in your neck, taking every smell on you, your lavander soap, your sweat, the smell of meat that was stuck on you, the smell of the new shampoo you bought...

"honey, is everything okay?"

"it is now."

"simon... is that blood on your shirt?"

[loloelia]

Dearest sibling

(Fifth sibling short story)

Leshy and Eko (the lamb lmao) were sitting in one of Leshy's massive garden near his temple.

While Leshy was playing on a tall tree ,picking up fruits and the leaves that came with it , meanwhile the lamb was sitting on the edge of a fountain ,alguee sitting at the bottom of it ,all they could do was stare at the god of chaos ,in complete silence .

The mossy worm eventually looked in the way of Eko and noticed their staring and eery silence.

"Oh little laaaammmb, what's with the silence, little brother ? " ,Said the worm laying on a thick branch,looking down at the lamb.

-"please.....do not call me that lord leshy..."

-".... sooooooo ,little sis ?", asked the worm, swinging his clawed and mossy paws.

-"no !... dont call me that ,im not- "said the little lamb a bit panicked before getting interrupted by the worm's chuckling.

-"ohhhh ,little sibling then ? Got it !" ,said the bishop climbing to a lower branch in order to pick up the lamb.

-"no ! My bishop ! Please ,stop it ! You and I both know we are in no way related ! You know im not Narinder don't you ?....so why....why do insist on calling me a sibling ?..." asked Eko ,their voice getting lower with every word and their head lowering with their voice.

The worm had placed the small lamb on the branch next to him,letting the little lamb swung his hooves in the void under him

The bishop of chaos chuckled and answered the lamb's question.

"Easy enough ! They are 2 reason, my dear little sibling ! First, i know you arent Narinder but ill tell you something ,youre probably just like him ,but.....weaker ,smaller !" ,said the worm with a smile,poking Eko's cheek,"You sure will never be able to hurt us because you dont even know how to use the red crown !"

"But alsoooo~ ," he raised them by the back of the collar of their robe ,and bringed them to eye level," i do watever i want. And i wanna treat you as a sibling. But you still are nothing but a lamb. If you bore me out of my love for you,ill entertain myself by twisting your head of your spine. Shamura loves you ,and i do too, but that can always change."

The lamb was curled up on themself ,barely daring to breathe ,they knew their next death would be their last.

Leshy was right. They were still a fragile mortal despite the crown on their head, a crown they couldnt use.

Their life was hanging of one thread ,and those gods were the ones who had the scissor. They knew that the moment shamura realized they weren't their dear brother ,death would be quick to welcome them.

Leshy smiled a bit ,and giggled as if the look on Eko's face was but a silly joke.

The worm lowered his hand until the lamb's hooves were on the ground ,and letting them go.

"Now go ! Shamura's gonna wake up any minute now ,dont want our dear sibling to think youre gone ,would we ?" He said with a warm smile as the little lamb stepped back from the claws of the god.

They nodded and bowed to Leshy as if to say goodbye ,wich got a snicker out of the god of chaos, and they were on their way back to shamura's temple.

@kiko---random-stuff-probably ,since you asked me to tag you !!!!>:)

I hope you and anyone who reads this enjoyed this small ,not very well written , shirt story about my bigger cotl story !

Funny enoughim more proud of the art i made to go along with it than the actual story ,but i still think its great !

I really wanna start writing this but im afraid that my current vocabulary aint enough,im trying to learn but its kinda hard.

Anyway

I love you all!! All the people who said they like my 2 am idea ,and everyone who read this ,youre amazing !!!

Thank you for reading

Hope i get to write the actual story soon :,)

[littlebugs]

𝖌𝖍𝖔𝖘𝖙 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖈𝖆𝖓𝖓𝖔𝖓𝖘

established relationship!ghost headcannons warnings: fem reader, reader is kinda couquetteish (tbh i wrote this for myself), fluff, ooc characters, bartender!reader, sfw, not proofread im so sorry ): rafs bloo notes: basically when i can't find what i want to read i write it lmao. also i tried to make the reader british (i said pub once)

.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

you've been together for a year now

you guys met in a pub close to the base he was staying at, you looked at his skull mask, shrugged, and then didn't say a word about it. he came back every day after that.

little things mean a lot to him

you saw his face after only a month of dating, what can i say the man got comfy quick asf

he's always the big spoon. always. he just liked to protect you )):

he doesn't know how to make any food other than tea (which you argue isn't food but he says "it has nutrients")

he's always joking about the guys at work who have very odd names like soap??? gaz????

which leads to you meeting them (completely on "accident")

because the guys are hanging out in the break room and simon goes to the bathroom

without his phone.

like whats the worst that can happen really?

but then he gets a call from "pookster 🥰" with a picture of you in a pink sundress !!

all the guys are like silent until simon gets back

and he's like "the bloody hell is wrong with you?" and soap points at his phone

so like the guys they are they quite literally follow simon home because what's he gonna do? kill them ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა (probably)

simon drives a truck dont argue with me

and so simon's kind of pissed but also he gets to show his girl off cus ya knows ya fine (;

he's unlocking the door to the apartment and soap and gaz are standing there whispering to eachother

they're discussing the odds of l.t having a girlfriend like she didn't just pop up on his phone.

simon opens the door and you're all up in your matching itty bitty pink top and shorts with pink ribbons in your hair like ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

and you see the two guys in military outfit staring at you like an alien so you invite them in for chinese takeout

ghost is pissed

gaz actually has a good time

soap is kind of perplexed the whole time

"now ghost, how'd ya score a lass like tha-" "shut the bloody hell up johnny"

after dinner ghost decides to be mr grumpster )): so you watch tv with him in bed all night

he radiates a lot of body heat

like more than a toaster

so much that at night you'll actually be sweating but you cant escape him because his arms are BUILT

it doesn't even matter how much you weigh this man can throw you across the room like an entire ragdoll- but he wouldn't ever dream of hurting you //:

he's a big guy. he's huge (hardy har har)

so of course you steal all of his sweatshirts (they're big asf)

he smells like cologne and faintly gunsmoke

you always tell him to use more laundry detergent but you're pretty sure he never listens

other than tea he can only cook one thing which is lamb (and its actually pretty good)

nobody ever really taught him how to cook and you only know how to make drinks so you guys improvise a lot

mommy issues ):

he's so scared you'll leave him you always have to tell him that you would never !!

he's afraid that when he's on deployments he might come back and you just wouldn't be there.

he's always checking on you at work

(if we're talking MWII) this man can bend the rules a little to check his phone. anyways who's gonna tattle on him seriously

always texting "how are you?" "thinking of you" "hope you have a good day"

anytime soap catches him on his phone he goes "texting pookster?"

price overheard one time and was very confused

lets just say by the end of the day the whole task force knows about you

if anything ever happens you've got a military team to defend you so life is looking good tbh

[aequarea]

ive already said this on twt and it did numbers so im gonna say it here cause apparently im not suffering enough as a sanji girl.

https://x.com/beensmoked/status/1816945052180210133?t=qNKKhoESbFkrvp_3wgWVyQ&s=19

someone pointed out sanji's face when he saw zoro after he knocked him out in thriller bark^

his shocked expression. like he couldnt believe what his eyes were telling him. like he was seeing the worst possibility come true, his world shattering bit by bit.

and it painfully reminded me of him and zeff at that rock. when he discovered that zeff eated his leg for him

its the same. the same face, a lot more desnutried and child like, but its almost identical. and yes, maybe im reading a bit too much into this. but do i?

this is maybe one of the most traumatic, painful memories to him. he was starving, hopeless and ready to kill for food in that forgoten rock in the middle of the ocean, totally alone with his thoughts and hunger.

and then, right before he decided to kill that pirate to get his food, not only he realized he starved himself to almost death for him to have all the food. he realized that the man willingly eated his own leg. to save him. him, a weak, useless thing. a kid who had nothing more than a monsters blood in his veins and a dream far away.

and now, he was all grow up. he was bigger, healthier, stronger. now he was capable of fight for his own and his friends, his family. now, no one had to sacrifice themselvs for him again.

but zoro did. zoro fought, and was hurt for them. why? he was supposed to be the lamb. he was the sacrifice for them, zoro was their protector. thats how they worked. but once again, his curse repeated like a ghost following him saying "you are not enough" over and over. his mom, his dad, and now his nakama. all of them had to give their lives for him, and he couldnt do nothing to stop it. and he couldnt undertand why.

[lakesbian]

this isn't qualifying as fanfiction or even dialogue with a point but i jotted down a random snip from my imaginary better version of the twig chapter where sy negotiates for the lambs to give him helen + pieces of ashton in exchange for a doctor he and jessie kidnapped. because ive been doing this thing lately called just writing whatever the hell appears in my brain for lambwriting practice and so i don't forget scene ideas in actual fics. and im never gonna have a reason to actually incorporate this into anything so ill just post it

“I…can't say I have anything better,” Jessie said. 

Lillian gawped at her. Then she pointed, sounding almost aghast. “I've just realized, you're–you’re in on all of this!”

Jessie took a bite of her danish and chewed for a good ten seconds before responding, which I supposed was a strategy to give Lillian a moment to calm down, and to avoid saying the obvious No shit. 

“It's not ideal,” she said. “But you have to admit, it's not reasonable to ask for Berger without giving something of equal value back. You also have to admit that Berger is an extremely valuable person. Right? Helen makes a fair exchange in terms of commitment. But we can't use her in the same way you can use Berger. Throwing in a piece of Ashton isn't hurting you, and it gives us something slightly more even.”

Lillian scowled. 

“My main complaint is that taking a piece of Ashton bothers you, and it's still not as useful as Berger. So we'd be coming out on the worse end of the deal, and losing some of your good graces in the process.” She gave me an annoyed glare. “But I don't have any better ideas, so that leaves me backing the Sylvester plan.”

“See?” I crowed, spreading my arms in triumph. “Even Jessie likes my idea.”

“Why is that supposed to be convincing?” Duncan asked, sounding offended. “You're–she’s your girlfriend, of course she would agree with you. It doesn't make it any less insane.”

“That sounds sexist, Duncan,” Jessie said, turning her judgment on him. “I'm his girlfriend, so I'm automatically subordinate to whatever he says? Did you not just hear me criticizing it?”

“No! No, I didn't mean it like that, what I mean is–you two are dating, and you're leading this whole project together, so it shouldn't be a point in his favor that you're both on the same page.”

I leaned on the table, getting closer to Duncan. “I can't blame you for not knowing this, Dunc, since you haven't been around Jessie long–”

“Duncan, please,” he interrupted. 

“Big mistake,” Lillian muttered. 

“But the thing is, Dunc,” I carried on, “that Jessie likes to complain about my ideas more than anyone else you could find. In fact, I'll count selling her on this as a greater victory than selling you.” 

“That sounds…completely backwards.” 

“No,” Lillian sighed. “That makes sense. Of course he's not concerned about being able to manipulate us.” 

“I'm noticing I'm starting to hear lots of people at this table agreeing with me!” I said brightly. 

“Two,” Jessie said. “Two people begrudgingly agreeing.”

It was a brilliant dynamic, really. By siding with everyone else in being exasperated with me, she could argue for everything we wanted, and look perfectly unbiased while she did it. 

“Three!” I said. “Three, if we count Helen wanting to come with us, which I absolutely do.” Helen waved cheerfully at the mention of her name, still munching her pastries. “Why, including me, we've almost got a majority.”

“We're not including you,” Jessie said tiredly. “You don't get a vote on your own plan.”

No one spoke up to tell her she didn't get a vote. The verisimilitude and convincing effect of her exasperation, of course, came from how she wasn't even remotely acting. 

“I disagree,” I said. I beamed at her. 

She shoved her glasses up and pinched her nose.

[malwaredykes]

ok. finished honest hearts. most of my inventory is plants and mushroom and Soups And Potions And Elixirs made from said plants and mushrooms. which is excellent.

the salt-upon-wounds confrontation was Tchruly garbo like. first of all they lit up ole josh before anyone even had the chance to say anything LOL that wasnt like Bad necessarily just rly funny. like yeah we can negotiate before anything breaks out *the camera pans to Jotchua Grams lifeless body on the pavement* but um second of all what the hell was that dialogue. "grrrr im gonna kill you" "[speech 75] no thats stupid. dont" "umm okei :) but i'll be back >:(" *runs away* Like. man. listen. throughout the entire dlc i Did Not want to be fighting all those white legs lol. i didnt know those people. you know i generally hate the Hostile By Default Irredeemable Canon Fodder Raiders crap and in this case its just especially egregious to me, with them being a Tribe and with me being some random ass normie strolling into the area getting instructed by the local white saviors. like, okay, since i Was getting involved, then if anyone deserved to Feel The Judgment Of Mine fall upon them it was in fact salt-upon-wounds with his track record of being a horrible fucking person. so i had to fight my way through all those white legs only for the Problem Guy to be like "Hm Okay. Deal. You Leave Forever And I Get To Live. Sounds Good. Sucker" like. fuck no. youre dead. this is for waking clouds husband how DARE you make my bald queen SAD

which btw i did encourage cloud to get mad at daniel for hiding that from her. like yeah girl dont take this shit from him. youre allowed to feel angry. who does he think he is. making decisions for the sorrows like youre all children. be mad at him. chase him out. tell him to never show his stinky mug around these parts. If You Want. ahh but then the ending slides said she forgave him.... well i suppose i have to respect her choice... but... cloud honey if you ever wanna team up and chase daniels stinky mug far away just give me a call

i also encouraged follows-chalk to go out there and experience the world outside... i really hated how he felt obligated to ask joshua permission, and how joshua was like Well 🥺 I wont tell him what to do but 🥺 Is it wise... I just worry about my foolish little lamb 🥺... like. Shut Uuuupppp.... chalk is an adult. i think. either way what do You know. jotchua. last time you ventured into The Civilized Lands (lol) you were a fucked up genocide army general so forgive me for thinking you might not have the most objective and up to date outlook here. Anyway. chalk come hang out sometime. come to the lucky 38. youll meet my epic swag friends and family. LOL bit of an aside but (mostly so i dont become insane because of the dlcs writing) i like to imagine that most of the time chalk expresses incredulity about some Civilized World Concept like gambling (-_-) or big dams or big weapons, hes literally fucking with you. like hes joking around. he used to mess with daniel and jotchua like that and now hes doing it with you. like Wow... How Strange... You Say It Is Called A... "Window".... 😂😂😂...

loving how the ending slides barely mentioned joshua also. like wtf happened to him. who knows. damn maybe he did die and i didnt even notice. im sorry jotchua. may your soul quickly find its way to NOWHERE lol #owned

final verdict: waking-cloud and follows-chalk are great, joshua graham is an extremely funny character, daniel is nothing to me, the area is cool, the plot is dumb as hell, the whole thing is racist, the quests are boring. 3/10

[im-fucking-baalin]

Tell me . More about your cult of the lamb au :3

I'm specifically curious about the idea that lamb could have been a priest of a religion based around a warped version of Narinder (you could say... a cult)

How did they warp his image? Does he know about it? How long has the religion been around- does it dissappear when the lamb is sacrificed? Grrrr I am so curious!!!

RAHHHH ITS 5AM THE PERFECT TIME TO ANSWER THIS OF COURSE !!!

ok first of all, english is not my first language so if theres something you didnt quite understand lmk pls 🤝

sooo,,, an incredibly long explanation is incoming!

im gonna be honest, this all originated from A Single™️ line that Shamura said in-game. This One:

"The lamb is, after all, the sacrificial beast. Bred to slaughter"

Since the first time i read it, it kept lingering in my mind because, wdym.

In my own madness, that lines existence means that, even before the lamb genocide happened, the bishops considered lambs as some kind of free soul resource they could use for sacrifice with no repercussions. And thanks to that, ive been constantly in a state of Making Things Up In My Mind Until Shit Starts To Make Sense.

And heres where, basically everything comes into play. The lambs were Narinders cult, to some extent. They were assigned to him, courtesy of his siblings, to be literally the pastor of them, yknow, protecting them and guiding them until the time to be sacrificed came. However, those sacrifices were never for him. Those were for the rest of the bishops.

Let me explain! One thing i LOVE with what the community has done in COTLs lore understanding is the way we see the crowns powers. like HELL YEAH they are NOT a single concept they EMBRACE the whole spectrum of said concept! Including everything that may be considered "good" and "bad"!!!

AND NOW, the important thing with this,,,,

In-game, after indoctrinating the bishops into your cult, and completing each individual quest for them, they kind of tell you where they got their crowns? the version of the game ive been playing is the spanish one, and honestly i hadnt read those same dialogues in english to see if they actually translated them faithfully, but oh well!

Thats what i got from it; with the four telling you how they were basically normal creatures before finding the crowns. mind you, finding

We are talking about a culture in wich gods were kind of the basic population, maybe in the timespan before that weird "war" happened; youd think they would be more careful with those things no? Exactly!

The bishops werent properly crowned!!! :000

THIS MEANS, in my mind, that they had absolute zero knowledge of what those crowns fully embrace!!

This, also, is where i have a loose knot, for i still hadnt come to a reasonable explanation on how Narinder got his, for he seems to be the only one who wasnt a crawling creature before the crown, possibly meaning he WAS properly crowned. ill work more on this in the future :P

SO, before i start expanding waaaay more, this is where i wanted to get to, but itll be on giant general terms that i promise ill explain with more detail in the future:

the bishops didn't believe in death having some kind of spectrum to it, one that they used on their own personal gain, receiving offerings and such in exchange of "good things". As a result, they kind of excluded him, in a not so catastrophic way like you might think, but rather in a "your domain is of no use to us" kind of way.

This was a result of Shamuras doing, for they were the only bishop who got to understand what a crown entails, knowledge being in their domain after all

(as a little side note, i FUCKING LOVE what this implies. Yknow? that the contrary of war is not peace but rather knowledge, because the more informed you are the more able to see what kind of shit youre doing, yet also functioning as the greatest weapon to use in the field IS PEAK TO ME)

What Shamura was trying to do was protect him. They were very afraid of him, and in trying to make that fear go away, they decided to kind of "keep" the truth away. This resulted in him never exploiting his full domain, wich then led to ppl believing that praying to death was basically useless, unless you did it to get consolation, wich meant there were no offerings or sacrifices in his name.

Now, as the pastor of the lambs Narinder hated the way the other bishops treated them. The lambs were kept in some kind of village, from where they, whenever they wanted, could choose any lamb and make Narinder sacrifice them in their name. Even kids!

Well, after this half-assed explanation bc i didnt want to make it way longer, here comes the actual answer to your question! (sorry!)

the religion started the moment the lambs managed to escape the place they were kept in. the situation that led to this, was the same one that sparked the conflict between siblings: a resurrection.

even if Narinder was their patron god, the lambs never had contact with him until the time to sacrifice came. here youre gonna meet ellen! shes a missing link i had to write into the story for it to make more sense. she is, also, the culprit for that religion to exist!

Basically, that day they had sacrificed her lover. they were planning to escape that night, but sadly they had no chance on knowing who was to be chosed for slaughter next. instead of praying to their god, she insulted him, with such a burning passion, Narinder knew this was his opportunity.

he made a deal with her. he would revive her lover, and in exchange she would leave and never tell anyone what happened. the only gain Narinder was going to have with this was the knowledge that he could actually revive ppl, so it was a total win-win.

ellen, however, saw this as death being the kindest god to ever exist, and she felt incredibly lucky, for she was the first and only to ever be offered this.

we all know how this went, though. the ritual was interrupted by the bishops, they started arguing, Narinder did what he did etc etc

she escaped, alongside her whole village, and decided to mask her selfish act with sermons about how Narinder sacrificed himself so they could live better lives, and how he had choose her to be the carrier of his word. it was all made up ofc.

so, for a millenia, the lambs were worshipping an incredibly distorted version of Narinder. They didnt even get his name, nor his title. They only knew him as death. This also meant Narinder never got to know about this. As far as his knowledge go, the lambs may all had been sacrificed without any regulation in the next coming days after his imprisonment. None on his name, tho

fast forward and we get to Lambert! theyre the last priest to this religion, both figuratively and literally

the way priests and priestesses (?) work in here is something that in on itself deserve its own post, but on general terms:

in catholicism the priest is a person who got religious preparation to serve god and spread His word. they are meant to be chaste, kind, and just. they are also meant to be "served", to some extent.

in here, priests are more like the leaders of the lamb population, replacing Narinders role back in the day. they were all following a rule that only female direct descendants from ellen could get that title which OF COURSE MEANS IT WAS A TRANS DOMINATED FIELD LETS FUCKING GO (projecting much? LMAOOO)

so, yeah! they guide and serve! so imagine Lamberts pain after the bishops kill not only their family, but their Whole Fucking Species in front of their eyes!!! lads flabbergasted!!!!

and thats it! thats how they got a distorted version of Narinder for worship. No, he had no idea that both the lambs were still alive and that they had been worshipping him in a completely different way than intended. and yes! the religion did disappear once lambert got sacrificed! but to explain what actually happened there i need to make another pointlessly big paragraph and honestly i think i already abused my yapping rights for today!

i promise, all these concepts WILL be treated at their own pace, but it may take time for me to develop them nicely!

if you, however, fancy keep asking questions for me to go apeshit at them, PLEASE PLASE PLEASE DO SO!!!!!!

MAN THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK YOU MADE MY WHOLE WEEK!!!! you asked about the EXACT point ive been DYING to expand more on THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!

[we-keep-odd-hours]

Tagged by @babieswrld during the impromptu ask-fest amongst our teeny-tiny fandom:

Which supernatural power do you think you'd benefit from the most?

Tbh if I could go without sleep I'd be thrilled. Or just. Not have ADHD. Teleportation with a promise that I'd never teleport into something/somewhere dangerous/get seen would be great fun.

Favorite film from any era that you wish more people have seen?

I mean. I have forced most of my friends to watch Near Dark. Among film bros my "HOW HAVEN'T YOU SEEN THIS?" movie is Paths of Glory, my favorite Kubrick.

If you could pick one place in the ENTIRE WORLD to vacation in for two weeks where are you picking?

I MISS MY TINY FLAT IN LONDON. I want to visit, but for fear it might be too painful to leave again, I'm going with back up to Salem, but this time getting to go into Boston, and some of the maritime museums and historical shipyards on the way there or back. Would have also loved to stop at Fall River just to say I did.

Favorite song/artist at the moment?

Starbenders, I've been listening a couple years and they've finally cracked mainstream rock radio this year.

What is your dream 'job'?(aka what would you feel most passionate and happy doing in life)

Someone pay me one billion dollars to either write full time or direct for the stage full time. Please.

Which season is your favorite?

I'm a basic goth bitch and I love autumn.

Do you have a favorite comfort film/tv show?

Genuine comfort films: Silence of the Lambs, Labyrinth, Star Wars: A New Hope, Peter Pan (2003), the animated Little Mermaid, Interview with the Vampire, The Muppet Movie (the 70s one). I don't really have a comfort show? I guess Doctor Who? oh yeah, AMC's The Terror (season one) is like therapy to me.

What is your favorite era of fashion?

Late Stuart period.

(How can I not ask some Near Dark ones cmon IM ME) If you could crossover ANY other film with Near Dark, what would it be and why?

Lost Boys is really obvious, but I think it would be fun. Caleb and Mae having fun hanging out with other teenagers, Severen finding people who can (almost) match his crazy, and Diamondback torn between having a great time with them or else telling them to KNOCK IT OFF, I DON'T CARE THAT YOU CAN'T DIE, IT'S STILL GONNA HURT WHEN YOU FALL OFF THAT BRIDGE??? Homer and Jesse miserable and hating their entire lives.

I think a non-supernatural show/film would be interesting too, maybe a crime drama, some forensics team finding out that the burned bodies from a few different crime scenes were drained of blood before the fire.

Its another extremely cheap shot, but do you have any idea how hard it is to not write a fic of them going into that theatre and watching Aliens? Do you have any idea how hard that is for me? I just can't imagine they'd enjoy any part of it other than the fight sequences.

You can only pick ONE of the Hooker clan to defend you and the rest are hunting you down. Who do you pick, and do you survive the night?

My first thought was Jesse, he's the leader and could just call them off, and also implied the most experienced at actually being a vampire ("...but not everything that I know,"), but I feel like...if ALL the others were asking him to let him kill me, he'd cave. Mae pouts and Di rolls her eyes at him and I'm dead.

Meanwhile if I say Diamondback, I'm at least getting Jesse on her side within 45 seconds, and she'd just have to yell at Homer. Once the three of them have called it, I'd imagine Severen would give up, which would just leave Mae as a wildcard.

I didn't pick Mae because, yes, she succeeded in protecting Caleb from them all last time, but I feel like that was her one (1) shot and it went so badly that they wouldn't let her get away with it again.

[melodyfsoul1]

LOKI S2 FINALE GLORIOUS PURPOSE

Just spent over an hour crying over the Loki S2 Finale, and still havent recovered, but here I go anyway with my Reaction/ Review

*Loki S2 E6 Spoilers ahead*

Okay so... before watching the episode I wrote down a couple things that I did NOT want to happen/ but knowing myself, and my luck with my characters, figured that was exactly what would happen....

and turns out... I was correct....

Back in Infinty War I feared/ predicted that Loki was gonna die in the first 10 min in a stupid way where he wouldnt be able to show off his powers... and we all know how that turned out...

For this season finale, all I hoped was that Loki, for once wouldnt play the self sacrifical lamb, and find a way where he didnt have to lose Mobius and his new found friends, where he would be not alone...

So.... yeah.... about that....

Now to the Review/ Reaction:

God I was so scared

"Glorious Purpose"

The title alone had me tearing up.... we really came full circle back to S1 E1 and the fact that they started the recap with 2012 Loki too...

1 min 30 in and I'm already pausing, THE INTRO IS BACKWARDS, thar was so cool

So we all knew Loki would have to go back and try to safe everyone

BUT MARVEL DIDNT HAVE TO SHOW US TIMELY DYING OVER AND OVER AGAIN (and in so many angles too....)

Then Loki trying to learn everything OB knows to be prepared to help, but it would take time, makes sense

"CENTURIES LATER"

WHAT?! They really did that, good thing Loki has that long Life span...

The fact that all the characters realizes sth was off with Loki but MOBIUS is the one to stop and talks to him, and Loki telling him to trust him.... my heart

OH MY GOD ITS WORKING?! And Timely survived too? Did not expect that

I have never seen Loki this relieved/ happy but at the same time sad and exhausted before...

But of course its never that "easy"

No matter what, the infinite amount of branches will always detroy the loom, so the moment a timeline branched everything was doomed from he start... Ah yes Marvel and their existential dread...

Loki going back to before Sylvie killed He Who Remains, trying to convince her not to kill him.... and of course she says he has to kill her if he wants to stop her...

God Loki's Emotional Damage....

Of course Loki cant

HWR COULD HAVE STOPPED TIME THAT THE WHOLE TIME!??!! The fact that he figured Loki has gone through this whole scene before and still just watched

He knows about time slipping...

He paved he road

He planned this

Him and Loki had this conversations before

"We die with the dying, we are born with the dead"

That is such a sick quote :0

Its basically Loki vs HWR forever, and Loki knows he will always lose... but still wants to try... kudos to his determination

And of course Loki cant bring himself to trade lives... not Sylvie's, not his friends and not the multiverses...

Loki goes back to the first time he talked to Mobius...NOOOOO not the Throne talk, why does this feel like a final good bye talk.... I HATE IT

Though S1 E1 Mobius having a chat with S2 E6 Loki is such an interesting concept

He wants to find out how they chose who lives and dies... ("Who lives, who dies, who tells your story" huh? Sorry but I had to make that Hamilton reference XD)

"You're not gonna find comfort in the TVA" - Mobius to Loki

BUT HE DID, LOKI DID FIND COMFORT, IN YOU MOBIUS, Im gonna cry ... the TVA was the first place where Loki could just be himself and he found friends there too

Also Mobius might be the only comfort character who actually gives comfort (and isnt just an angsty mess who hasnt had a happy day ever)

Mobius telling the story of a hunter who couldnt kill a kid, which caused more death, loosing sight of the bigger picture

So he is talking about himself right? And of course Renslayer was the Partner

Mobius telling Loki they have to chose a burden and live with it... that it leaves scars.

Theres this sinking feeling again

And the scene SPGAHETTIFIES?! I SWEAR TO GOD MARVEL, NOT AGAIN, STOP GIVING US FANS PTSD THROUGH VISUAL EFFECTS

I dont know what to think of Loki & Sylvie's final talk.... Loki has an idea?

Oh NoNONONONONONO

I FREAKING KNEW HE WAS GONNA GO THE SELF SACRFICE ROUTE BACK FROM EP 1 AND I FIGURED HE WOULD TAKE TIMELY'S PLACE IN EP 5 BUT THIS?!

Cant he ever be happy?! Is there any Loki, in any universe who actually gets to be happy?!

The fact that Mobius was the first to notice and that him and Sylvie immediately followed Loki, tried to talk him out of it

Loki looking back, saying he finally knows what he wants

MY HEART

LOKI WALKING THROUGH SPACE WITHSTANDING THE RADIATION JUST LIKE THOR WITHSTOOD THE DYING STAR IN INFINITY WAR, THE PARALLELS

THE NEW OUTFIT, THE CAPE, HIS HORNED HELMET, OH MY GOD

It looks like an End of Time Aesthetic Version of his Ragnarok Outfit wih the Cracked Kintsugi helmet

Ngl at first I had no idea if he was using his powers to manually destroy, change or preserve the branches.... or weave them together

Oh and to be clear I was crying during like the whole last 20 min of the episode because that was just too many emotions at once

Also can we talk about how freaking cool looking the shots of Loki with the new Helmet and the branches being his cape, were?!

The throne... Oh god the remains of HWR throne...

LOKI'S GLORIOUS PURPOSE WAS TAKING ON THE BURDEN OF THE THRONE HE NEVER WANTED

*starts violently sobbing*

Poetic, Ironic and Heartbreaking, all at the same time

Like, is it extremely cool to see him use his powers to his full potential? Yes definitely.

Were the cinematics beautiful? Yes of course, it was gorgeous, tho the moment I realized he was making Yggdrasil, I started bawling my eyes out, because "You go Loki, show us what you can do"

But I also felt my heart break because Loki is now at the end if time, chose to have to watch over & protect the multiverse, all alone, forever.... (can he leave that place?)

Like this is the very same Loki, who just, 1 episode ago, admitted that he is terrified of being alone, who just wants to be with his friends. L1130 is a Loki who was actually happy and had friends, a place where he felt safe because he could be himself. And he gave EVERYTHING up to give EVERYONE ELSE a chance at life, a life he might not be able to take part in... he can watch, but we dont know if he can interact with them....

I literally talked about that in my reaction/ review from last episode. Sylvie & Loki are both selfish, which is ironically a very human trait (them being gods and all), but unlike Sylvie, Loki would actually give up everything to safe others, which is exactly what he did.

And I know Comic Loki, God of Stories, wrote himself out if the Narrative as well, out of the Story, to look behind the curtain, have a talk with the beings behind everything, but that Loki also had Verity, he had a friend outside of everything, he had someome to talk to, a friend. Verity is one of my fav characters and I would have loved to see her Comic Version too in the MCU, but I saw B-15's Name was revealed to be Verity Willis, so thats is cool Easter Egg :D

Back to Loki, I honestly cant tell which Loki has it the worst... I always thought the main Loki dying to Thanos had it the worst, but he sth akin to a life and he got the chance to mend his relationship with Thor before he died his heroes' death...

Now L1130, in the worst case, is damned to spent eternity alone, the very thing he is scared of, being without his friends, forced to watch from afar as they live life without him, when all he wanted was to be with them... that is unless he can just leave the place whenever he wants to (if the branches allow it I guess?) But if it turns out that he cant leave that place/ or interact with anyone, without everything going down immediately, then I would argue that this Loki's life is worse than the other's death... and I cant believe Im describing Infinity War Loki's Death as a mercy...

Back to the ep...

AFTER?! Right theres an after

The TVA is still intact, with a new leader ship and everyone working together, B-15, OB, Casey and even Ms Minutes is helping?

Mobius looks so sad doing his job though...

Hes gonna LEAVE?! He wants to experience his own life on the timeline, huh... Loki did promise that to Don... and M is going for it, thats sweet actually

Renslayer got sent to the end of time, Alioth waiting for her, well then

Mobius seeing what his life used to be is so sweet, likes how perfectly imperfect is it

Sylvie visits too?

"Its weird Loki's not around" she says and I start bawling my eyes out again, now thats just salting the wound.... at least they remember him

NOOOOO THE SHOT OF LOKI IN HIS THRONE

He is smiling, but he's crying too

Is there ANY Marvel Movie, or Show where Loki doesnt cry?!?! My freaking heart...

Look I know this ending makes rational sense.... and it was defintely epic, and we finally got Loki at his full potential, and yes, Loki being finally recongnized as one of the most powerful MCU characters is cool.

But personally, on an emotional level, that ending is somewhere between bittersweet and absolutely heart breakingly dreadful, because Loki didnt want this, he didnt want the throne, he only did this to save his friends, he gave up his own happiness and I hate it... I know he is happier knowing his friends have a chance at life and that he chose this, but there wasnt much of an choice with HWR....

I just hope that Loki learning to control time means he can at least visit his friend, pop in from time to time, because if him leaving the throne/ the branches means everything could come crashing down, then thats just sad...

And what does that mean for the teased Loki & Thor Reunion?! WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT?! We didnt even get an end credit scene?!

Anyways, I'm gonna rewatch the season the next couple days and go through some theories and head canons and see whether that will change my opinion on the ending, but we'll see.

[cloveroctobers]

bloodwar — JOEL MILLER

A/N: Y’all voted and so shall you receive! Im nervous writing for such a loved character but here goes nothing! If you’re not familiar with my work…I always provide the angst. You’ve been warned.

GIF BELONGS TO: @pedrohub

WARNINGS: I’m always writing my characters with black or POC in mind yet you’re somewhat welcome to imagine whomever as the character/reader is not fully described, fem! Reader, language, lightly paraphrased sexual themes, trauma/lost, & hints of a toxic!relationship the deeper I went into writing this thing. I do believe Joel can find some healthy love romantically but there’s things within himself that needs to be worked through. I am no therapist, I’m simply a girl who likes to make people feel some things with writing so I’ll stfu! Again this is my first time ever writing for this man so I was trying to get into the mind of his character as I wrote so don’t slander me too much if you feel this isn’t right. Lastly this focuses more on uncertainties? That’s it!

˗ˏˋ╰┈➤ ´ˎ˗ ˗ˏˋ╰┈➤ ´ˎ˗ ˗ˏˋ╰┈➤ ´ˎ˗ ˗ˏˋ╰┈➤ ´ˎ˗

The bruises and Lambrusco weren’t enough for her to forget or to catch her off guard. She noticed him way off, through the fence and across what once would have been pretty pale blue water, turned murky and brown. Getting around that lake would take some time and that time was granted as she left the watch tower with her bow and arrow. The only reason she came down from the watch spot was to retrieve the mischievous lamb that loved to escape the barn.

“Got you, you little shit.” She scolded as the animal kept up the banter; while she scooped it up from underneath the belly.

Her senses then allowed her to hear footsteps before he spoke, “Do you?”

Tension filled her shoulders as she took a sharp inhale before she spun on her heels, revealing the lamb and her new weapon of choice.

“Joel Miller,” the name pushed through her lips, “can’t say it’s a pleasure to see you.”

The man scoffed, “that’s no way to treat the man of your dreams.”

A roll of her eyes was immediate, “you and I both know you weren’t serious.”

This much was true and if it were any other time and circumstance, the words probably would have stung as they left her mouth.

“Yeah, you’re right about that.” Joel muttered as he began to stare, which always irritated the woman.

“Can I help you with something or are you just gonna stand there being a creep with your beady owl-like eyes?”

Joel laughed to himself, almost liking that his presence was getting underneath her skin but also at the fact that she wanted to get right to the point.

“What? I can’t enjoy the view and the luxurious secluded home you’ve got for yourself here?” Joel attempted to tease but the woman didn’t appear to be in a joking mood.

Which the man didn’t bother to take offense to—even if he wanted to, he received the emotionless expression that remained on her oval face and assumed his own features showcased the same, although the little twinkle in inky eyes felt like he attempted to make the mood lighter.

It was her turn to trail her eyes over him and she could tell how much life passed him by. It had been years since she last saw Joel. Their history was shifty and rough from the beginning, since everyone was trying to get adjusted to the downfall of society—being thrown towards a new virus and death filled life it was safe to say, they got into some shit together to survive. They both were not as alone at the start since Joel had his brother Tommy, where they ventured from Austin to the east coast and on their way, they met a woman with no filter and her kind but no nonsense having father in Memphis. It was war from the very moment the Millers stepped onto the Lemelle’s riverboat but a truce between the families brought an unlikely path in their relationship. Eventually she, her father, Joel, and Tommy made it to Boston.

After the death of Kendy’s father, the realization that the QZ was not all it cracked up to be, she made the decision to leave first back in the year of 2010; in search of a place with no restrictions. Yet sharing that news with Joel that summer the sun burned down in almost a red hue and instead of just simply disappearing into the night without a word…was something she wished she would have done instead.

“Tommy or Maria sent you?” Her chin lifted in curiosity.

Joel exhaled, “I’m sure you know the answer to that already. I get the sense Maria and I are not gonna be the best of friends.”

“Whaaat? Don’t tell me you never wanted a sister?”

Joel just blinked at her, “fuck off, Kendy.”

“Hey you came to me,” her face held mock innocence, “what you see is what you damn get. Also mind you, I’m the one with the weapon.”

“Yet I’d probably get to that thing before you can even aim to shoot. Lamb chops sounds pretty darn good to me.” Joel warned but Kendy looked more offended than horrified.

The lamb seemed to tilt its head at Joel’s statement as well, floppy ears almost appearing alert.

Which was weird to witness…

“you sure about that grandpa?” Kendy cooed as she pulled her knee up to balance the weapon before adding, “what’s the matter, they’re not feeding you well out in Jackson?”

Joel scoffed and folded his arms as he peered out into the distance of Driggs, pretending to think about it. Of course the food was good, real good considering back in Boston the lbs for food were mostly scraps and back out into the destructive world with Ellie was way worse. Sure he stuffed his belly until it became bloated and uncomfortable but he didn’t want to get used to it, regardless of settling—staying—stationing? in Jackson.

There was no use in complaining about the way things are.

Joel was always about action.

“Why here?” Joel steered the conversation elsewhere, “You’re a great distance away from Wyoming.”

Kendy hummed, “forty-four minutes by car. Longer by foot, which is just fine by me.” Before carrying on, “Did you really expect me to be there too, waitin’ around?”

“I don’t fucking know,” Joel exasperated, “it’s a sense of community, belonging or whatever they’re trying to go for. Something that would have been good for you and—

Kendy almost stopped breathing, the gears turning in her head, thinking Joel was first hinting at some sort of relationship that wasn’t platonic with his brother, taking into consideration that the pair got along well, however the way he rubbed at his mouth in frustration told her his words were aiming at another topic.

“Ah, now I see why you felt obligated to be here. Trust me, I don’t need this.” Kendy hissed, turning back around to head to the barn.

Joel hesitated because part of him didn’t want to do this either…yet it’s been a long time coming. Thirteen years to be exact. He’s in a whole other state and he didn’t travel all this way, by himself (persuading Ellie to stay back with Tommy for at least a couple of days, was hard work and he expected the freckled face girl to find a way to keep close. However Joel didn’t miss how Ellie was starting to spend some time with a certain girl named, Dina.) to not get the answers he deserved.

“Trust?” Joel stomped after her, “I dunno how you want me to do that darlin’ when you’re the one who ran from me, knowing you were carrying a child. My child.”

She whipped back around, making Joel almost bump into her but she shoved him back with a fist pressed to his chest. Her eyes were heated as she met his stare, “it didn’t matter! I wasn’t your problem anymore, ‘good riddance,’ remember? You really think a child would have fixed what we were? We couldn’t get along if we weren’t on top of each other.”

“You still should have had the decency to tell me something. It’s not right how you did it. How I have to find this shit out from my baby brother but even still…he didn’t tell much. So you better start talking.” Joel glared, pointing a finger in Kendy’s face.

Kendy slapped his finger away, “I don’t know who you think you are, Joel Miller but you don’t get to show up here and make demands. This time, I won’t hesitate to put one right in your chest if you keep pushin’ me.”

“Will you put the damn lamb and arrow down, Robin Hood, so we can have a decent conversation?” Joel snorted, finding this image almost humorous, if his blood wasn’t simmering, “I can’t take you seriously.”

Kenny scoffed, “well you better! Seeing you again and talking to me crazy is making me want to go back to old Kendy.”

Joel deeply inhaled and pinched at the bridge of his straight but hooked nose. He was aware what that means, the whole shoot and ask questions later was what life was like at the start of the outbreak and it only increased once they crossed paths.

He still had a bald spot, that no form of nioxin would cure! thanks to the woman throwing an axe at the top of his head (it happened sometime in January of 2004, Joel remembered Tommy slipping on the ice on the boat floor, surprised the younger man didn’t catch that in their stealth—although it seemed he didn’t get much sleep before their arrival to the water. Which caused quite the commotion before the real physical events transpired) , temporarily trapping him against the door the minute he got close to where she was located on the boat. Joel recalled the burning sensation of his hair being ripped from his scalp as he yanked himself from the wall, axe still having a hold on his thick hair, as he struggled to pull the axe from the wooden door.

“And here I thought Jackson was all for redemption, guess Maria isn’t as convincing as she seems.” Joel mumbled.

Kendy gave him a blank stare for a moment before she replied, “not too much on Maria now. Yes she’s opinionated and we don’t always see eye to eye either but shes a great asset to that community and she makes your brother happy. So accept that or talk that shit out when you get back because I won’t continue to listen to anymore jabs you want to toss out while you’re here.”

Joel raised his brows, “you’re gonna let me stay?”

“It’s getting dark out and I’m guessing you left your car across the lake so…you can stay in the barn or the tower. Your choice.” Kendy decided while she entered the said barn.

Joel shook his head, “I’m not sleeping with the damn farm animals.”

“We’ve all slept in much worse places, don’t get uppity on me now, Miller.”

Joel crossed his arms, “You get a one star for hospitality, Ken’.”

“Which is exactly why I put my two weeks in after three days of working at this hotel during my college years so thanks, sugar.” Kendy clapped back, making Joel shake his head in disapproval but not surprised.

Joel watched as Kendy showed almost this nurturing demeanor with the lamb and sheep, silently wondering what she was like with their own child…that was still bizarre to process and Joel was unsure if he even processed this although he was standing face to face with the woman he created another being with! It had been days since he found out this piece of information and now he was trying to do something about it. When they were intimate with each other, Joel foolishly never thought of the possibility of Kendy becoming a mother. He never brought it up because he obviously had no intentions on being that ever again, or spoke much of their past lives once their bodies fell into each other’s hands. It was a after thought when she sat down on him, so warm and sturdy. He was cold, this he knew but falling in love was never in the cards for him, especially with the world crumbling with the little pieces it had left.

What he had left.

He’s seen Kendy and how she was tender to her father once he got sick, he knew Kendy still had soft parts inside of her despite the jagged scar that trailed from the corner of her left eye and down the apple of her cheek, the delicate was still there—just don’t tell her that.

Part of her found something to care for to keep going, even if it were deemed as little things or “nothing” at all in her eyes. Did that also include a child?

Which is why Joel battled with himself on seeking answers. He didn’t speak to Tommy for days after the curly haired man blurted out the secret Kendy withheld from the older Miller. Joel was the one who brought Kendy up, at the saloon one late night, after everything failed at the hospital with Ellie. It was hypocritical of him—sure—but this secret was way before Ellie had been a thought of being the cure.

Joel still wasn’t entirely sure what he was expecting to get out of Kendy. The idea of becoming a father again, scared him shitless but he wouldn’t show it. Kendy didn’t create this child all by herself and they had to be grown now, however fatherhood was never a easy task and life after the outbreak was just as stressful; throw a fourteen year old into the mix and it was constant worry from there. He initially wanted to warn Tommy about this and actually deemed him a, “dummy,” for bringing a kid into this fucked up time, until tommy let the news slip from his lips when it really wasn’t his place.

Drops of rain were cool against the Idahoan spring before they started to pelt. Joel shielded the top of his head, standing at the entrance of the shelter as Kendy made her way through the barn, locking and boarding it up just in case she got any other visitors tonight.

“Come on,” Kendy waved the man to follow her to the back entrance of the craftsmanship home, just as the wind began to pick up.

Yanking the blinds down over the glass door, she made sure to lock it and set her bow down by the rest of the archery kit. Joel took the invitation as he scanned the home, straight ahead held an ajar door, he then walked through the small entry way on his left, noticing a set of stairs to the right and headed into the next area which held the kitchen and living room with two other window-framed doors that lead outside, suddenly peaking around for any other source of life.

“Where’s—

“Joel,” Kendy clipped, “take off your damp shoes, you’re tracking mud. Do you want some wine or coffee first before we tackle this, since you’re so adamant to talk?”

Joel peeled off his jacket and bag, before using the couch arm to kick off his shoes with his feet. He then held them up silently asking where he should put them and Kendy pointed at the front entrance door.

He then replied, “Coffee.”

“Black, no sugar and no cream.” Kendy whispered to herself as she went to the kitchen, fighting with her intrusive thoughts to tell him to make it his damn self.

Joel silently watched her for a moment before he headed over to the wood stove which seemed to be going already. His eyes still searched the walls for any pictures or sculptures just like Tommy and Maria had in their own home but the walls were empty besides it’s horrible aqua color.

His attention was brought back to Kendy, walking by him, reaching for the handle on the stove, opening it to reveal the fire behind. She squatted down, mitten reaching for the tray to place the mug right on top, before shoving it back over the center of the fire. She counted sixty seconds before pulling back out, closing the stove and moving back to the side table to place the black coffee down.

“Give it a few minutes,” Kendy told the man who dipped his head as he moved back to the spot he claimed on the sofa.

Kendy soon made her way around, taking a seat on the opposite couch, bottle of Lambrusco and wrapped herself in some fur blanket that probably belonged to one of her many sheep.

Sorry animal lovers, desperate times call for desperate measures and you’re supposed to help the sheep shed their fur from time to time!

Taking a swing from the bottle, Kendy deeply inhaled after swallowing before her eyes set back on Joel, “okay. Ask away but don’t ask to respond. Listen, or else we won’t get far tonight.”

Joel rubbed at his pants legs, hearing Kendy and decided to not pick that response apart.

“…when did you know?”

“Not long after you and Tess.”

Which happened once after they both had too much to drink and Kendy wasn’t in the mood.

Believe me, Joel’s knows how shitty that was, he was the one who lived it.

“There was no Tess and I.” Joel uttered, not getting the chance to further explain that relationship but they were friends who spent time together as smugglers.

There was chemistry there regardless.

“So just like us, got it.” Kendy snapped her fingers, breezing over that as she ordered, “Next question.”

Joel scratched at his salt and pepper beard, “was the…baby also the reason why you wanted to leave? Did you think I’d ever find out?”

“A small part of it yes. We already know what the main reason was: Boston’s QZ was becoming dangerous and suffocating just staying there, I needed to get out whether you knew i was carrying or not.” Kendy answered, taking another sip from the bottle.

Joel could understand that but he figured it wasn’t any easier being out there on your own especially with a life growing inside of you, her elderly father was deceased and Tommy was debating on another trip out (with the damn fireflies and Joel wasn’t sure which pissed him off more!) ; although they shared hushed conversations about their exit…part of Joel still didn’t understand why she put herself through that on her own.

“Well how did that work out for you?”

Kendy let out a humorless laugh at the sarcasm that radiated off Joel, pulling one leg up onto the couch, “just dandy. I’m living the dream with my sheep and this eye-blinding house.”

Alone.

He breathed out a laugh through his nose, mind fuzzy, heart not feeling as steady as it should as he fidgeted with his hands. Before he got the next question out, he turned to grip the mug by the handle and brought it to his lips. The steam mists his nostrils as he took a sip of the coffee, the heat not bothering him in the slightest while the dark liquid slid straight to his stomach, igniting the impulse to see some action.

“Was Idaho the place you envisioned to raise the kid?”

Kendy closed her eyes briefly as she said, “No. I didn’t see myself as a mother because I didn’t have much of one in my life. It wasn’t really a goal of mine. I stayed in Pennsylvania for awhile, three months maybe? made a friend that was once in the medical field and thankfully she helped me through it all.”

“She helped you deliver and then what?” He pried.

Joel rested his elbows on his knees, eyes set on the woman not so far from him this time. He felt the shift in the room rising as he continued to ask whatever popped into his head. He noticed the woman rack her nails against the black bottle, plump bottom lip with a beauty mark on it moving to the right as she bit down on it out of habit.

This was something she commonly did, Joel remembered that.

“Joel…it’s been thirteen years.” Kendy averred, “I couldn’t do it.”

Joel tried to keep his breathing steady, “meaning what? You got rid of it? Let this friend take care of them…what Kendy?”

He was never a man with patience.

And Kendy had time to cope with this.

So instead she got to her feet, holding the neck of the bottle to place on the coffee table before she set her eyes back on Joel. He leg began to bounce as it seemed Kendy was almost playing a game with his mind right now. A frown of his brows appeared in between them while she began to unbutton her jeans, pulling them down some and yanking up her shirt to reveal a scar underneath her navel.

“It was a ectopic pregnancy. I needed surgery, I was bleeding out and Kristi did what she had to do. I almost died and I kinda wished I did, along with that baby. And finally away from all this shit.” Kendy vented.

Joel felt a smidge of bile rising in this throat but taking another swing of coffee pushed it back down. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to feel, or if there was a right way to feel.

“So…this was for nothing then.”

Kendy blinked, “what?”

“Coming out here, seeing you, and almost having wishful thinking when you killed the baby that you originally didn’t want and I wasn’t sure I even wanted.” Joel told, placing the mug back on the table.

Kendy couldn’t help the cackle that escaped her lips. She had to press her fingertips to her lips as she pointed her pointer finger up and down at the man.

“Nothing’s really changed with you and this is the exact reason why I should have put an arrow right through your chest where your heart is supposed to be,” Kendy seethed, “you’re a very broken person with no ounce of mercy. I saw it in your eyes the day I met you and I should have believed that then.”

“If that was true then you’d already be dead, back in Memphis, on that boat. So don’t stand there and try and tell me who you think I am.” Joel lowly stated.

Kendy huffed, pulling her jeans back up her wide hips and buttoning them before raising her hands, “why not when you’ve already shown me exactly that? You’ve never given a damn about me and certainly wouldn’t give a damn if the baby lived! Nobody compares to—

“Shut up! You don’t get to speak her name!” Joel was also on his feet now, absolutely aware what wanted to leave her lips.

The room was quiet for a mere second, besides the crackle of fire in the wood stove and the dash of rain outside.

Kendy tilted her head to the side, framed piece of hair sliding to cling to her eyelash, “Sarah.”

And that set Joel off, a forearm going to Kendy’s throat and his hand slapping against her mouth. He harshly breathed into Kendy’s face as he glared down at her. The rings of bags underneath her eyes showed just how tired he felt. He’s never spoken to Kendy about Sarah but it didn’t take her long to figure it out with his nightmares when they slept in the same space, going city to city.

Tommy only implied that he and Joel lost someone prior to their role of survival and Joel’s said her name a few times in his sleep.

“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about,” Joel gritted, “you think I haven’t changed when it’s you who hasn’t. You’re a know it all without actually knowing anything. You run any chance you get, always thinking about what’s best solely for you and nobody else. What a lonely life, don’t you think?”

A fist went to the side of his neck first, catching the man off guard, followed by a knee going up into his abdomen, leaving Joel fighting to catch his breath. He let go of Kendy who circled around and crouched to get into Joel’s face.

“Why would I stay? Imagine me having a normal pregnancy in my forties and having a child with a screwed up man that can’t love? Or doesn’t even like me enough? I’d say I dodged a bullet here and I thank god.” She rested a hand on his shoulder, using her other to bring the cross around her neck to kiss with a wicked smile.

Once Joel got his breath back, with the quickness, he swooped his arm underneath Kendy’s, locking her in his hold as he yanked her side to his chest by the shoulder. Kendy winced as she tried to spin her body out of his hold and when he wouldn’t let go, she tried to ram her shoulder into him but with his grip, he merely stumbled.

“Get off me!” Kendy yelled, ready to jam her foot right into Joel’s.

He kept hold of her shoulder, knowing it wasn’t at its strongest, even after all these years, hearing it click from scar tissue as he freed one hand to grip the side of her head, bringing her ear to his lips.

“If I didn’t like you…I wouldn’t have followed you that night to make sure you made it to Connecticut’s state line back then, if I didn’t like you I wouldn’t have accidentally called Tess your name once while looking at her but not really seeing her, if I didn’t like you I wouldn’t picture you when I touch myself, if I didn’t like you I wouldn’t have numbed myself out of missing you since you left, I wouldn’t have asked Tommy about you, and I damn sure wouldn’t have thought about you and I with Ellie, the kid, and Sar—on the ride here. like I said, you don’t know.” He then shoved Kendy away from him.

Kendy felt a lump in her throat at Joel saying this. Sure these were his words and it sounded nice, although she didn’t know who this Ellie person was but that didn’t mean he never hurt her and with his back to her now, she tugged on his belt loops, getting him to face her again. She wasted no time, moving her hands to grip the collar of his long-sleeve shirt to bring his lips right to her’s.

Joel hesitated feeling Kendy’s lips against his after all this time. It wasn’t unfamiliar so he was only shook for a second before the desperation settled in. His hands rested on her cheek, then down to her backside, then back up to her cheek, the pad of his thumb touching where her jagged scar ended and the other on the back of her coarse hair.

He tasted the Lambrusco, she tasted his precariousness, his left ear rung as the tip of her tongue traces his bottom lip, and he lets out a groan as a form of a unsaid apology. Until Kendy nipped his bottom lip—hard to the point she drew blood and Joel had to pull back to test his theory.

“Did you just—

Kendy deeply inhaled and exhaled with her lips raw and puffed from the pressure, “I want you gone by the fucking morning, Joel.”

He wiped the blood with his thumb as he watched the woman move around him, snatching up the wine before she made her exit.

Snorting he shook his head at her retreating form and moved to take a seat back on the couch with a exhale. This is what it used to feel like with Kendy leaving his sight after whatever interaction they had but this time felt a little different. There was no way in hell he could say this was a new beginning. He stared up at the ceiling in thought, quite conscious how this all played out and that this was a trial and error—when wasn’t it with the two? However this battle was not something he wanted to entirely give up on just yet.

Not anymore.

He had the time to get it right and part of him wanted to with Kendy.

And if they couldn’t…it’ll be a fair one this time.

No it didn’t make any sense and no this probably wasn’t the healthiest of relationships but Joel was never perfect, the flaws: scars, the bruises that were black, blue and sore, and the blood were okay with him as long as he was doing it with Kendy, he never wanted perfect.

Perhaps fighting, getting it all out into the open field was the answer and you can ask anybody: when has Joel Miller ever been afraid of getting his hands dirty?

And so he sat in the quiet with Kendy upstairs in her bedroom lost in her own thoughts, her back against the door when a crooked grin appeared on his own lips.

Here’s to additionally another round with Kendy Lemelle!

But…Who’s counting?

˗ˏˋ╰┈➤ ´ˎ˗ ˗ˏˋ╰┈➤ ´ˎ˗ ˗ˏˋ╰┈➤ ´ˎ˗ ˗ˏˋ╰┈➤ ´ˎ˗

Continue along with my spring anthology series here.

[serenhob]

Update on Jttw Au

I have decided I will write it and I have more ideas.

So for antagonists I have two options.

1. Toulong/water lizard dragon. He usurped a river and attempted to eat Tripitaka but was subdued by Sun Wukong and was taken away for an unspecified punishment (anywhere from imprisonment to execution) so maybe his water demon minions could be luring Sun Wukong using Tripitaka for a reason. Idk why they would need percy tho. Ye idk woth this one, I haven't the energy to think about it thoroughly

2. Wansheng dragon clan. They are much more promising. Essentially the Wansheng dragon king and nine headed bug (his son-in-law) stole this Sarai (can't remember why) and framed some monks for it, then the pilgrims discover the truth and Sin Wukong and Zhu Bajie pretty much murder him and his whole family. Some resentment would build up there. I have two ideas for this aswell which I'll just put both here. First is that one of Wansheng dragons ancestors is still very bitter 7 centuries later and steal tripitaka to lure Sun Wukong and attempt to kill him. But again, what about Percy? My second solution covers this. Same ancestor but they are attempting to revive the dead dragon clan (I understand samsara but I'm imaging just snatching them with their memories back into their corpses from whatever vessel they have), tripitaka both serves the purpose of being bait and a immortal turning snack once they wake up. I don't think this random dragon would be able to do necromancy on their own so im thinking maybe a witch who has it out for Percy/demigods in general could have reformed with the help of the dragon from Tartarus. So Medea. Obviously, she never met percy but in my head I could imagine the necromancy potion (which she could probs do with her whole old sheep to lamb shtick(weird word) and magic) would require the blood of the sea gods child (they are sea dragons so I'm gonna say that would revitalise them in some way and + strength cause demigod blood makes them like that, or maybe it would help with the memory thing) and Medea specifically does not like demigods so why wouldn't she be like 'oh use that one specifically. Why? Cause I said so do you wanna revive your dead great x5 grandpa or not?'. Cause Percy is the only currently living child of Posiden. So ye. And Obviously they need Sun Wukong, whether that is for a 'need a part of the murderer' voldermort core or the weapon he killed him with (the staff) and then the added benefit of Wansheng dragon taking his revenge out on Monkey king after he wakes up and eats Tripitaka.

Other random stuff:

-I can see Tripitaka just knitting or smth for the first day or two (when they are ignorant of the real reason they have been kidnapped) just calm and collected, counting stitches and mumbling sutras while Percy is having a full mental breakdown

-It would be so cute if by the end of it Tripitaka has this lumpy jumper to give to Sun Wukong like he's his grandma (tbf that's how he acts 90% of the novel, a very judgmental grandmother for all his wayward dicisples)

-I think Tripitaka would also probs try to reassure Percy like

'it's ok, they probably just want to eat you or drink your blood, nothing to worry about ' 😊🌸

Percy:😰

(Percy don't have context but this is 100% comforting in Sanzangs head)

-Also if I go with the necromancy storyline (which I like the most) im gonna need Nico to come at some point and br like 'I felt a disturbance in the force' but also I haven't finished reading the book him and will are in (got to chapter 5, put it down and forgot about it till now) so idk what they are doing in Canon currently

-It has just occurred to me that both Frank and Sun wukong are shapeshifters which is so fun

Please tell me what you think , anything I could add or stuff I got wrong and again if you want to write this story please tag me so I can read it 🙏

[decaflondonfog]

Soapghost???? 🥺

you got it!!! [salute emoji] here's uhh... naming a newborn lamb with your ex-situationship and pretending that's not gonna awaken anything in you lmao

MacTavish catches it though, he’s not subtle enough. He turns without a word, and Ghost follows equally silent. In the barn, he turns again, and lets Ghost approach the small lamb who’s curled up inside a large box, on a bed of hay, kept warm by a large red light. “There’s your wee lad, Simon.” His heart stutters in relief as he leans into the small pen, and reaches out. “Can I… is it okay if—” “Aye, ye can touch him. Pick ‘im up, if yer wanting to.” Ghost doesn’t need telling twice. With careful hands he scoops up lamb into his arms, and snuggles him into his chest. “Hello, darling,” he says, not caring about MacTavish’s eyes on him, running his hands through the now-soft and dry skin, surprised at how fluffy a one-day-old lamb is, delighted to feel its little heart beating under the palm of his hand. “Could call him that, I suppose.” “Uh?” “Darling.”

[spotconlonsbabe]

rating headcanons that yall say

lowkey kinda love reading hcs and some are scarily accurate but some are like??where did you even?????get that from?????

so im gonna like? debunk some? and just like, comment on shit? if i miss anything ask n ill make a separate post

crutchie is not like.. ✨uWu soft baby cinnamon roll✨. its fbhjdksabkh frustrating like the whole "let crutchie say fuck" thing annoyed him. just bc he has a disability doesnt mean hes infantilized. he is actually a little fucking menace and he will hit you. he is opinionated and not a innocent little child.

i (race) like biting. thats it. i bite.

jack is like chronically adhd but he doesnt think he is. hell hyperfixate and infodump and get so distracted on one thing (90% of the time its his current artwork) that the outside world just stops existing. yet he thinks this is just normal people things to do while i just 🫠

hes also a manwhore. he gets around a lot (albeit as a coping mechanism for his ✨everything trauma✨). like before the strike he slept around, with random people hed pick up on the street, theatregoers hed see during meddas shows and talked to afterwards ("dont come a knockin" style), meddas backstage crew, people hed sell the evening paper to, anyone. gender was irrelevant to him, he just needed an outlet for all his energy. it was usually a no stings attached scenario, but not like, "wham bam thank you maam" sorta thing, he treated them with respeect

alberts safe food is lamb. thats it.

spot is a chihuahua. down to the soul. (he will deny this till the day he dies)

everyone is some form of neurodivergent. all funky in the brain /lh

also some things that are not true (soz guys)

-um. ralbert. it just doesnt make sense for either of us? hes my best friend and i do love him but not like that. also i dont think wed be able to survive as a couple. we collectively share about three (3) brain cells and i think we would destroy a house together. like blow it up (storytime for later about that if yall wanna hear)

-neither is javey (sorry everyone). jack an davey love each other. yes. but not in a romantic way. theyll trust each other with things theyd never tell anyone else, but they are strictly platonic. they said they could never imagine being together, sorry to all the avid javey supporters out there.

-kathy's a lesbian. false 💖

shes bi with a preference for women. she did THINK she was a lesbian until she had this big dumb guy come up to her on the street and offer to bring her a paper personally.

-newsies dont have an age limit. we dont "age out" of selling. it isnt "just a kids job". anyone could sell papers. the whole point of being a newsie is that anyone could do the job, it didnt matter who you were or where you were from, you just had to have enough money to buy the paper from the distributor. we had a like 40 year old woman who used to come buy her papers after we did. so the theories of "what happens when jack ages out??" arent nessicarily accurate, if anything he would leave by choice.

[oonajaeadira]

i've been excited for LOYW ever since you first mentioned the concept, and now seeing that snippet and you saying it helped with your writers block!?!? I DIDNT THINK I COULD BE EVEN MORE EXCITED

im so glad youre enjoying the concept and that youre looking forward to writing it, my favourite fanfics/fanworks are always the ones the author/creator had a fun time writing

ive basically read your entire masterlist and every character youve written for has never ever felt ooc, so knowing that one of my fave fanfic writers is doing this concept with mr.joel miller himself????? I AM SO SO EXCITED FOR THIS AHKSHFLGKLFJFL

Hello, friend.

I need you to know what a really really wonderful message this is. I don't know how to tell you how wonderful it is, but you need to know that it really really is. And how I needed to horde it for a little while.

I have been in a FUNK lately. My brain's been absolutely RUDE.

But.

I'm absolutely melted by this. I love that you love my stories. My whole masterlist? You mean my whole heart. That you have. In your hands. You beauty. This means so much to me...that you trust me with Joel, that you WANT me to write for him...you're excited even.

Excited.

(Are you still excited when I tell you I've written 6.3K of Spring already and it's not near being done yet? And that's just the first of four chapters? This is more of a beast than I'd planned...)

But I am having fun. Tremendous fun, really. I just made Joel hold a lamb because I wanted him to. He's going to take compliments and hospitality and enjoy it, dammit. And I am going to pry his rusted knuckles open and show him that letting Ellie go doesn't mean she'll run away. I'm opening him up like a tin can, but easy and slow and gentle...just like he likes it.

This one's just gonna take a little longer and that's all there is to it.

But knowing you're just as excited as I am for it? That's worth fighting for.

Thank you, one million million. <3

[winderlylandchime]

3x02 1/3 im just gonna jump right in for what we’re all here for: ‘ITS JUSTIN!!! BRIAN AND JUSTIN ARE BACK TOGETHER FUCKING! Wait is he cheating again? Is this gonna be like yesterday where they rewind back? Blondie and Bri Bri!! I missed you tw- WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?!?! That’s not my blondie? What is this.. i like Brian’s shirt, wait let me focus: so he is fucking people that look like Justin and imagining Justin while fucking people that don’t look like him..and people think he’s okay?’ He just paused the tv on Em/Ted and made a weird face ‘lover? That’s what they’re gonna be doing? I am not..i have mixed feelings. This is…awkward, i feel like I’m watching something i shouldn’t be’ he is now covering up his face and watching it that way. *points at Brian who’s watching Em/Ted ‘THATS HOW I FEEL! Where did lamb chop come from?’ He is now laughing his ass off at the part where Ted feeds Em ‘ow ow that hurt my stitches but it was worth it. That was funny. But also its a little weird. DEB STILL DOESNT KNOW WHY HE GOT HIT?!’ He started shaking his arms all over the place ‘BRIAN WANTS THEM TO MAKE UP FOR THE COMIC! why am i acting shocked? We already knew this since yesterday. But STILL. Is that how they get back together? Just please tell me that I won’t have to suffer harp player for the entire season..MIKE. i mean sure Bri Bri was a sugar daddy but it was by CHOICE! HE DIDNT BETRAY YOU. You cheated on his best friend. Dude, use your brain come on where’s that 1500 on SAT now?’ ‘NOOOO WHY IS THERE VIOLIN MUSIC AGAIN? I swear I’m gonna have PTSD by the end of this. SEE! His hand cramped up while drawing that fucker! That’s the universe telling him NO! DAPHNE MY BABY GIRL PLEASE DONT DISAPPOINT ME!!! *he is paying close attention to Daphs face* my spidey senses are saying that my girl Daphne hates him. Please be right!! (He actually gagged when Justin said they made love) please stop talki- you know for someone who is OH so in love with the flute player, he sure as fuck talks about Brian a lot. EXACTLY DAPHNE CALL HIS ASS OUT.. *daphne makes a face at ethan and he immediately pauses on it and goes to the tv* THAT *waves hands over daphne and accidentally touches the tv* my bad ma’am that was an accident. *waves hands again* THAT IS THE LOOK OF A PERSON WHO FUCKING HATES HIM! HALLELUJAH THERE IS STILL A GOD SOMEWHERE IN THIS FUCKED UP UNIVERSE!…fuck do you mean he’s dropping out? *he started to actually jump up and down while sitting when ethan asked about tuition* TELL HIM TELL HIM TELL HIM!!!’ He then ran to get his phone while screaming ‘WAIT WAIT I DOWNLOADED AN APP TO HELP ME FIND MUSIC!!!!’ And now he is using Shazam to recognize what songs they’re using.. ‘ITS BRIAN! They always use the best songs for Bri..(brian is on the computer going through pics of guys) is this the grindr before grindr? *looks at me* yeah i know what grindr is. This man would rule Grindr’ ‘ladies, girls, my lesbians…WHY on earth would you want another child? Mel you already cheated when the first one came around, wanna do it again? Is that the theme for this season? Cheating?’ ‘Ben only made enough food for 2? But he just offered it to Emmett? Ben sure is something..ben don’t be a bitch YOU TOLD HIM TO BE THERE FOR BRI..WHY ARE THEY CALLING EACH OTHER LOVER?’ ‘JEN NO! YOU WERE MY GIRL! MY WOMAN! MY DREAM WOMAN! WHY WOULD YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS? Can they stop blowing smoke up this dude’s ass? I too could play the xylophone if i wanted to! (Ethan says ‘i like to think’) dude, you haven’t had a single thought behind your eyes since the moment you walked on screen. *he paused it and is now laughing at Justin* WHY DID HE SAY THAT WITH A SMILE? Why did he just say the words ‘he was at a concentration camp’ with a smile? JEN, i thought we had something, why are you betraying me? I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU GUYS TO BE FRIENDS! (justin says to not talk about Brian) BRO YOU ARE THE ONE WHO KEEPS BRINGING HIM UP. but for real who’s gonna pay his tuition? OH HIS DAD ASKS ABOUT HIM? Well tell Molly that (his name) says he can shove that question up his ass!’

…and people think he’s okay? YOU AND ME AND THE FANDOM BOTH BROTHER ANON. That is the theme for this series. No one gets Brian (except Justin). He is not okay, he is so rarely okay.

Daphne is the biggest and OG Britin shipper. I’m glad your brother sees that and feels the relief we all do. She doesn’t let Justin get away with shit.

He’s using Shazam! Bless. I love Shazam.

Haha yeah, Craigslist (bad name with regards to this show, I know) was like grindr before grindr.

WHY ARE THEY CALLING EACH OTHER LOVER <- good question! It is so cringe, I cannot.

Don’t worry, Jen will get her redemption.

And yeah, Justin, stop bringing up Bri Bri… oh you can’t can you?