#im gonna lose my mind over him | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

starry-bi-sky · 17 days ago

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mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.

now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.

He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.

(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)

The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.

The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.

And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.

(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)

The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.

anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)

#mxtx svsss #svsss au #scum villian self saving system #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #luo binghe #disciple shen yuan #scum villain #svsss #*points at SQQ/SY* i want him to go nuts. as a treat. let him crumble just a little over the stress of his fate and the stress of survival #and the stress of having a lack of autonomy over a handful of his decisions. starry craves angst and she craves a very specific SQQ angst #he was a number 1 hater back in the day and lbr being a hater takes energyyyy. ive heard that this man was the BIGGEST hater i wanna #see him rip a man to shreds with nothing but his tongue and a voice that could cut marble clean in half. skin a man alive sqq you deserve i #*mortal kombat voice* FINISH HIM #i love without-a-cure but unfortunately i dont think SQQ would be able to have WAC and also survive in the abyss.#the succubi nest that adopted him tried seducing him at first. it didn't work. but he did somehow charm them with his cringefail ways #so now they have a brand new mortal big/little brother to dote on. SQQ is frankly delighted to learn all about succubi culture that doesnt #revolve around sex. he makes quite a few friends/allies in the abyss because of his pure fascination and unbiased desire to learn about #demonic culture and all the different niches and nuances of it across species. he's still going insane tho. like that's not stopping.#there's a single LBH pov chapter in the fic and its frankly so unhinged it was fantastic. he's so possessive. he straight up goes:#'oh SQQ isnt gonna be the next peak lord. he's ascending to heaven with me when i do :)' when Sha Hualing (also peak lord) told him that he #couldn't keep his disciple in the bamboo house all the time. what was SQQ gonna do when LBH ascends and he becomes the new peak lord?#gosh that first chapter is rotating around in my mind so bad. LBH was SO unwell. like losing his actual shit over SQQ near the edge.#i so want to write a oneshot abt this where SQQ is also in hysterics (albeit over slightly diff reasons) and tells LBH on his knees:#'this disciple deeply apologizes to his shizun. for he will not be ascending to the heavens with him.' right before he falls into the abyss #this au being disciple SY is for shits and giggles but i can also see it happening for regular SQQ bc 'fuck it im a dead man either way'#frothing at the mouth at this idea also being a SY-is-SJ au too. for the extra angst of SQQ trying to bear the weight of multiple lives on #his shoulders and trying to figure out what is real and what isn't and if he's meant to suffer in all of his lives no matter what he does.#not once in his life has he ever been free to do what he likes has he? self-hatred to the max. he's going mad. poor boy :]

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oddberryshortcake · 10 months ago

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I think the Knight of Dawn being "a coward who is unable to stand up for what is right and does as he's ordered to" and "someone who cares deeply about his family and did everything he could so that Silver could live a happy and normal life in the future" are two statements that can coexist.

#And Lilia knows this too which is huge #I love the complexities brought up in this chapter #I love how it really weighs in on Lilia's desire for world peace because war turns normally compassionate people do to terrible things #and no one wins when babies are orphaned #I love how far an act of kindness can go too #The Knight warned Lilia about Henrick's plan to kidnap the egg and gave Lilia an opening to escape #and 400 years later Lilia rescued Silver from his blessing turned curse and raised him and loved him the way his parents would've wanted #I love this fairytale #and the Knight is in the wrong but its kind of sad to see him being reduced down to his worst action #He's a tragedy but there's more to a person than just who they are at their worst #I'm gonna lose my mind when part 5 comes over here im sorry for what I become #twst #twst chapter 7 #twst spoilers #twisted wonderland #twst silver #twst knight of dawn

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twopercentboy · 3 days ago

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I CANT BELIEVE I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE SILLY JOKE POST THAT ABBYS BOYFRIEND TOMMY WAS TOMMY TOMMY IM.LOSING MY SHIT A LITTLE BIT

#and bucks reaction doesnt seem promising #i saw a potential spoiler that makes it seem like buck might break up with him and if this really does happen i think im gonna lose my mind #and i might cry over it #abby clark #bucktommy #tommy kinard #evan buckley #911 #911 s8 #my.txt #me.txt

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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year ago

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I literally can't stop thinking about this sequence of pictures, actually completely brainrotting me

#ever since i watched aus 2009 i cant stop scrolling back up in my gallery to stare at these #like pics that genuinely make me roll around on my bed and squeal #GAHHHHHH LIKE THE WAY SEB IS GRINNING UP AT AND HESITANTLY PLACING HIS HAND ON HIS CHEST #AND THEN JENSON NOTICES AND MY GOD THE WAY HES LOOKING AT HIM I CANT I CANT #THE WAY THEYRE SMILING AT ESCH OTHER IM GONNA LOSE IT #AND LOOK HOW HARD JENSE IS GRIPPING HIM GODDDDDDDD #like i really cant express in words how these make me feel its actually just *tv static noises*#i feel like im grinning so hard looking at these that im gonna explode #(also @grace if you see these: ive been reading solar flare lately and GOD YOURE SO RIGHT WHEN YOU REFERENCED IT)#(theres this part where mark says to jb that hes been looking up podium/press pics of them online)#(and that they look like theyre in love HE IS LITERALLY ME FRRRRRR LIKE IM GOING INSANE OVER IT)#(these pics brainrotted me before i started reading it but reading it has only made it 100x worse/better)#anyways i really really like 2009 sebson they're so endearing to me 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#ig its just smth about how theyre so affectionate with each other despite being each others rivals #like constantly patting/nudging/hugging each other IM GONNA CRYYYYY IM GONNA EXPLODEEEE #i put these pics in the comp i made if seb but like bcs of the magnitude to which they affect me i needed to make a posr for them #just imagine me wailing and losing my mind irl and in these tags sob sob sob #if i stay committed w watching races ill just keep on going to the end of the v8 era so dw my wailing can only get worse :D #every time i scroll up out of the tags to look at the pics again i feel my heart skipping a bit HDJFKGKGKGL #anyways unhinged wdym unhinged :)#f1 #formula 1 #sebastian vettel #jenson button #jb22 #sv5 #sebson #2009 australian gp

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thatonebipotato · 4 months ago

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the "i didnt ask to be made" line is probably gonna come up in the next season, huh?

#my adventures with superman #maws #maws season 3 #or maybe “i didnt WANT to be made”#that one would hurt huh #dc #conner kent #im so happy he got confirmed #hes such a cutie #frothing at the mouth and clawing at the walls #also does this imply that were already at tim in this timeline? or are they gonna go the yja route and have him be friends with dick?#i hope not but that also means that jason gonna be dead already #this isnt about batman and them but i still think its important to figure out bc theyre definitely gonna come up a little bit more #honestly just losing my mind over conner. i love him 🥺

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skrunksthatwunk · 5 months ago

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misguided angel / angel mine for your kuwameshi consideration

#was gonna save this for like. the titling of a 2 chapter fic or smth but it's not like i have ideas for it so eh #im impatient just read this and go mhm skrunks you're a genius this is amazing #and maybe i'll use it someday anyway :p #i just like that theyre paired.. and yusuke being the flawed angel is really interesting to me. deadboy mystique #(like he's got the wing imagery from puu the phoenix but the key angel in yyh is sensui which is.. interesting.. though i don't see how #thats relevant to this atm)#but he's this glowing savior figure working for the afterlife bosses and idk i like it. but his halo's crooked yk #and i think kuwabara looks to him as such. meanwhile yusuke's like blink blink i am just a guy. what #kind of losing my mind over the fact that misguided angel (this sorta sad sweet slow gentle song) has basically the same things #going on as criminal by britney spears... like idk what to do with that but i can't shake the thought of it #just very very different songs tonally/sonically but.. but they kinda overlap a lot is all #anyway #yyh #kuwameshi #sorry no more kuwameshi playlist posting. probably. for now.

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iisenyx · 1 year ago

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my WIP!!!! take on g5 (bc it is 2 am and i have to take the psat today but i wanted to post .)

#ac6 #iguazu #g5 iguazu #all my ac6 designs r gonna turn out super mecha anime LIKE idk thats all i draw Apparently also i CANNOT design characters #but i NEEDED to draw fanart so.. it begins.#i want to give him a kiss iguazu is so funny #anyways mostly trying to match the appearance to the voice bc idk. griffin burns definitely puts like a distinct character image in my head #idk how many of these im going to do but im actually losing my mind over ac rn #i feel like he should look a lot rougher but also like iguazu is just. a pathetic kinda guy so i think this is also fitting...

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undertheorangetree · 3 months ago

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anytime I read any fic with a significant height difference I lose 12 years off my lifespan

#im SICK AND TIRED OF YOU SHORT BITCHES!!!#IVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU!!!!#said with peace and love #but im a big bitch idc who you’re writing about he’s not gonna be taller than me #please consider me and the other tall bitches when writing reader insert fics please<333 #cuz im losing my mind a little bit more everytime I read the words his hands are so much bigger than yours #or you look up at him #NO THEY ARENT!!!#AND NO I AINT!!!!#okay rant over

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akechi-if-he-slayed · 1 year ago

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no no no you guys DON’T UNDERSTAND THEM!!!!

#they make me SICK #caswen brainrot..#guys i actually NEED them to be canon so bad U DONT UNDERSTAND #caswen #hsmtmts #yes this was the t swift edit i was losing my mind over earlier #THAT STUPID LOVESTRUCK LOOK AT THE BEGINNING WITH RICKY ON THE GUITAR LOOKING AT EJ LIKE HE’S EVERYTHING TO HIM???#that should be in the louvre #AND EJ LOOKING BACK WITH HIS STUPID SMILE #they’re so. GOD.#my god ej was actually a baby in s1 im gonna CRY

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kashmirichaiwithmehr · 22 days ago

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#curse the luteal phase #i jus wanna get over h*m #every timw i think im done #😭😭#but dw guys its slowly getting less intense 🙏🙏#im gonna see him this week after a month so lets see if i lose my mind again #mehrtalks

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jendoe · 2 years ago

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"You're late." "I know." "I missed you." "I know."

losing my mind over vet and carver again because of this absolutely stunning piece by @swampcastle! ngl i've been screaming over this during the whole process... and seeing it finished has sent me over the moon 😭💖💖💖💖 a literal masterpiece, i cannot recommend cas enough. they were a joy to work with and i'm so thrilled to be able to share this!!! the sensuality, the details... i am simply deceased GOODBYE!!!!

#oc: elissavet cousland #x: what did my fingers do before they held him?#im so normal about them!! just the most normal!!!#scene here is around... 9:32 dragon?? ish? so little reunion between queen and lover hehe #dialogue is from a wip :3 #anyway thank you again cas!!! gonna treasure this #literally just. losing my mind over here

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heart-shaped-chains · 9 months ago

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Need a guy to love on and hug and cuddle and whisper sweet nothings into his ear and more