#im gonna hate my own writing

[pixispracticingwriting]

Masked - Kazui Mukuhara x Male!Deputy!Y/N

AN: having a shitty night rn and because Kazui has become such a comfort character of mine so this is just self indulgement. But also the fact there are barely any milgram fics or hc’s, I’m just gonna take the role of writing it.

Warning: fluff and also just some smoking

As usual, you put on your tough mask for today as another day has arrived in MILGRAM. Your job is to keep the prisoners in check while Es was off duty for whatever the reason. No one questioned much though, as it was just easy to get into the roles they all were assigned to. And for you, you were the deputy to keep everyone in line.

The first couple of days, it was somewhat easy as everyone was somewhat able to get along, with small bickering here and there. Nothing bad. But the more days that went by, the more stressful it became. Fights would occassionally break out. It started small, like arguing over supplies, to then the prisoners questioning their existence within the prison. Anxiety about the results and the upcoming punishments that’s waiting upon the ones voted guilty. And as deputy, not to mention the ONLY deputy too, it was a handful. Because by the end of the day, you were human too.

But of course, the prisoner didn’t view you that way. To them, you were some form of stranger that brought them here to this odd peculiar prison. Despite you were just as same as them, except with no memories of who you were before MILGRAM. You accepted the fact tho. That in their eyes, you were some form of a strict guard that couldn’t be fully trusted. Even though it made you tired. Frustrated. Angry. You were as confused as them but you’re not allowed to question it. And sometimes all these things just gets too much. All you could do was pretend. That everything was okay.

As you leave Fuuta’s room, having a serious discussion about starting fights and causing trouble, you frustratingly slammed his door. And that was your final straw. You were simply too tired. You leaned onto the wall and slowly slid down to the floor, as you let out a soft quiet cry. All these stress was getting to you. You can’t handle it anymore. You can’t handle putting a tough face.

”Hey, are you okay?”

You jump as you hear a deep muscular voice, looking up to see Kazui looking at you with a worried look. Panicked, you quickly stood up and wiped your eyes. You cleared your throat as you asked ”why are you out of your cell? It’s already quiet hours.”

”I came out for a smoke till I heard you”, he explains. ”Are you alright, deputy?”

”I’m fine!” You clarified, making sure no tear stains were left behind on your cheeks. ”Now, if you excuse me, I’m going to check on the others. You should head beak to your cell after you’re done with your smoke.”

”Hey wait—” He said, grabbing onto your wrist, in which your instinct kicked in and kicked him off from you. ”Oof! Sorry! My bad, my bad.” He quickly apologize, letting out a chuckle. ”You shouldn’t kick an old man like that y’know.” He jokes. ”I was just .. going to ask if you wanted to have a smoke with me. Just to keep me company.”

You knew you shouldn’t. But at the same time, this was probably the first time you were being treated like a human being with feelings. And it felt … nice. ”Well?” Kazui asks. ”You’re taking the cig or not, sir deputy?”

A sigh escapes your lips as you give in. ”Alright, fine”, you spoke, defeated. Kazui gives a smile and handed you a cig in which you accepted it. You both then lean against the wall and lights up your own cigarettes. Both of you guys didn’t do much but stood there in silent, watching the smoke float up towards the ceiling. Inhaling and exhaling the smoke felt nice, a new sense og calmness washing over you. As you we calming down, Kazui took notice of it while blowing out his smoke. ”So, sir deputy”, he started, ”would you like to talk about why you were crying earlier?”

”I wasn’t crying”, you lied, not making eye contact with him. You could hear him letting out a small laugh and immedietaly turned to look at him, just to see what was funny. He noticed the quick turned and quickly gave an apologetic smile. ”Ah, sorry”, he said, ”it’s just … I don’t know, it takes one liar to recognize the other.” You raised an eyebrow towards him, and he then explains himself further. ”See, before I came here, I would constantly lie about myself.” He spoke. ”Because of how I was born, I forced myself to lie. Lie for everyone elses sake. Hurting myself in the process.”

”Then why didn’t you just start telling the truth?” You asked, now curious to hear a bit of his story. While you heard bits and pieces of their songs, you never got to fully experience them as much as Es does. Kazui saw the curiousity in your eyes and gave a saddening smile. ”I tried”, he says, ”and that’s how I’m here.”

”Oh …” You said, regretting his question. ”Sorry I didn’t mean—” ”It’s okay, you didn’t know” Kazui lets out a soft chuckle, ruffling your hair. You couldn’t help but blush slightly from this affection but it did feel nice. As he finished messing with your hair, he continued. ”But what I’m saying is don’t be like me.” He said. ”Don’t become a liar like me and tell me why you were crying earlier.”

You were about to lie again but then stopped yourself as you realized he was going to see through it. You let out a defeated sigh. ”Fine.” You spoke. ”Things have just been exhausting. And I think …” You trailed off a bit. ”I think I’m just getting stressed.”

”Then you should rest up.”

”While I let you guys wander off to god who knows where? No chance!”

”Hmm …” Kazui hums and looks around for a bit. Then he slides himself to the floor and pats next to him. ”C’mere” He said. ”Sit with me.”

You just gave him a confused look before doing so. He then reaches an arm before remembering. ”Is it okay for me to … touch you?” ”You did ruffle my hair already so—” ”Oh, right! Sorry bout that by the way.”

He then gently wraps his strong arm around your back and pulls you closer to him. Your cheeks turned pink at this sudden action. And before you could react, he started gently petting your hair. You were tense at first, not used to these kinds of affection. But after a bit, you could feel yourself getting relaxed at the soft and gentle touch. ”Mm …” You hummed softly, laying your head onto Kazui’s chest. This time it was Kazui’s turn to blush, but quickly smiles as he keeps on petting you.

”Just get some rest, deputy.” He spoke gently. ”You don’t ever have to lie to me ever again.”

[wolvertooth]

au/fix where the sabretooth that gets sent down to the pit and does the sabretooth war stuff is uhmmm just a clone. its the clone plot again. for the 3rd time.

i mean im kinda torn on this since sabretooth 2022 + sabretooth and the exiles did have some good moments. its just the ending and everything that happened after that was. weird. and off.

so maybe before the pit, the clone was doing some Evil clone stuff, but being in the pit triggered some genuine memories for the clone, allowing for it to have a brief period of victors actual self. then, by the end of sabretooth and the exiles, that wore off, and he reverted back to normal Evil clone. that would also give a good reason for the brief moments in sabretooth war that felt ‘real’ being at the same time he was remembering things, his actual self slipping through again. fuck now im feeling kinda bad for this hypothetical sabretooth clone…..

meanwhile, the real sabretooth(inverted) is chilling at home, watching this go down from the outside. cuz like, lets be real, his friends wouldnt just leave him in that reverted state at the end of weapon x 2017. they would absolutely kick some ass in order to get him back to normal. and i bet it was weird for him to hear about the graydon thing too, seeing as hes now got a solid relationship with his own graydon.

oh. and ben percys wolverine is totally a clone too. cuz he just seems so different from the wolverine in infinity watch.

and the real ones are definitely living together.

anyway, extra -> tbh the whole percy run feels like an au to me. mostly due to the way both of their memories are handled, wolverines especially, as shown in x lives / x deaths. its a mashup of a bunch of different wolverine runs, but with the authors own spin on them.

its kinda representative how every new wolverine run is like their own au, each author taking bits and pieces of canon as needed, but also slightly rewriting them to fit their personal take. bit like a game of telephone, plot points getting forgotten over time as new authors dont bring them along, and other authors ideas getting remixed. especially in the earlier days, when runs were way longer, plot points getting abandoned in their own run.

a good example of this comes from return of wolverine and infinity watch, which are both considered ‘canon’, but due to their length are never referenced again. and even though infinity watch is an immediate sequel to return of wolverine, the concept introduced in that run where wolverine has all the different versions and variants of wolverine in his head wasnt ever mentioned.

its like the previous stories set up new plots only for the future ones to drop them. like how weapon x 2017s ending of sabretooth being reverted back to a ‘feral’ state never gets elaborated on later, despite seeming like something that would lead into a new arc.

all different stories, all somehow labeled as canon.

[itsdefinitely]

i wanna know more about the jerries/jeris

do you want to know the most horrific thing about them?

the lords did nothing to make them the way they are.

yes, the jerry jr was turned into the axeman because of the witchwood, which does what it does because of the lords, but everything leading up to that is just human nature. i see the "girl jeri is nibbly" or "they were influenced by a lord to do the thngs they do" and i need people to understand that that's just. not true. they're just like that. they were taught to be like that by their parents and, more accurately, their church. it's horrifyingly accurate how religion has shaped them into non-functional human beings, who would rather potentially lose their child to the many, many dangers of the literal woods than admit that they had sex outside of marriage.

it's only because it's hatchetfield that jerry jr grew the way he did. there was no lord's intervention in their decision to keep the baby, or to drop out of school to care for him, or to keep him seperated from any other people, or to revolve their lives around the idea that they'd committed a sin and needed to pay by pushing celibacy rather than. i don't know. properly raising their child. it was the way they were taught. the toxic pushing of overexaggerated christian ideals is what molded them. can you imagine being in their place? being a scared teenager and knowing that if you told any of the people you care about most your secret that they would shun you and disown you?

the only people they felt any kind of safe around were each other; of course they're going to be codependent. and even then, they're disgusted by each other for leading them to sin. they're stuck together unwillingly, because without the other, they're alone.

[topaziraphale]

"Stop saying Crowley won't help Aziraphale in S3 he'd go back to him in a HEARTBEAT and nothing would stop him" I get it no one likes the idea of Crowley being bitter after what happened for a long period of time but like can we at least acknowledge that he's currently going through probably the most emotional pain in his life since falling? Can we agree that he's opened his heart entirely - something you couldn't pay him to do unless the world is literally ending and he's desperate - to Aziraphale, and got shot down? Can we understand that he did it AGAIN only to lose Aziraphale again? Not that what Aziraphale did isn't without Crowley's own shortcomings (hiding the truth of Heaven's cruelty from him) but like,,,,

The appeal here isn't Scorned Crowley Doesn't Love Aziraphale Anymore, or Never Wants To Help Him Again, the appeal here is Crowley learning enough self respect to not just walk back right to Aziraphale like nothing happened after Aziraphale has had a pattern of consistently refusing him. Going years ping-ponging between "We're not friends I don't even know him" to "That's what friends are for right?" and "We're friends, why would you even say anything?" and "Friends? We're not friends. We are an angel and a demon!"

Like I get it, Crowley is a heartbreakingly forgiving person. Of course he's gonna forgive Aziraphale, I'll be surprised if he didn't forgive him by the time he walked out the bookshop door, but gdi he could at least grant himself the luxury of being at least a little irritated for longer than however long it takes to make a globe and some books float and angrily cry out to God in his flat. But due to the change of pace and dynamic that is establishing part of the conflict for Season 3, I just really like the idea of him for ONCE prioritizing himself and being like "Okay, fine. We'll get back at it when you're ready, then," instead of just taking Aziraphale back like his words and actions meant nothing to him, when clearly they have an effect on him.

What is Aziraphale going to learn if Crowley just accepts what he did so quickly, like he always has the entire time they've been friends? Idk maybe I'm just projecting too much darkness on their dynamic but I mean, if the pattern of Aziraphale pushing Crowley away/disrespecting him one day and then being fine with his friendship the next + Crowley never stopping to be like "Hey, that's not cool, at least give me a little credit" or smth was fine all along and will continue to be fine in the future, then why, after 6,000 years of being friends and loving this demon, can Aziraphale still not accept that Crowley is just fine the way he is, and instead got excited to promote him to an angel in a heartbeat once the opportunity presented itself? You can't blame all of it on Heaven when Aziraphale has demonstrated his free will/defiance to Heaven so many times. Or, I don't know, I guess maybe we can? Maybe I'm just craving too much angst to the point where I'm letting it cloud my analysis of canon. Idk.

[onehundredandeleventropicalfish]

there's so many del conversations i really fucking love and wanted to put my own spin on before we get an officially cast delirium, so starting off with this fun one from kindly ones!

(i have also started a del themed tiktok bc i have a lot more audio/video stuff in the works, so if you're interested you can find this video cross-posted here)

[moonspirit]

A year and two days ago, I came back to the writing arena with Tomorrow Will Come, a post-canon oneshot that wasn't supposed to spawn four sequels after it, and the crazy talented and wonderful @annawayne gifted me this T_T

(anna pls, I'm overwhelmed every time, you can't keep doing this T_T)

I don't want to sound like I'm tooting my own horn, because fic writers come and go, and there are many who've been in the AA fandom for years - but all the same, I just want to say, I'm happy I started writing again and returned to Tumblr. I've met so many wonderful people on here (you know exactly who all you are), and it doesn't feel like a year, more like a lifetime, and there is nowhere else I'd rather be. So... I'm glad this fic was the one that half brought me here.

As for this... This BEAUTIFUL art T_T Anna. Your talent knows no bounds. This is beyond fucking magnificent, I'm so grateful, thank you so much T/////T

That said, holy fucking shit do I need to re-write the whole damn fic because 🥲 I'm wincing a bit at my prose from back then...

[suckishima]

*bangs fists on table* haikyuu and food!!!!!!!! and how furudate uses it to illustrate the varying levels of drive different characters have!!!!

so, context (chp 213), this panel is hinata narrating as he's walking to the bus stop after day 2 of the first years training camp. he was told a few hours ago by washijo that he's not allowed to stay for meals or to sleep over, but since then he's been diligently watching the other players who were invited—he stays late after the regular hours of the camp for extra practice as a ball boy not a spiker/player. and the FIRST thing we see once he's done playing is four whole pages of how hungry he is and what should he do about it, and not just to literally feed his physical hunger but also in order to become a better player!!! food is muscle!!

all of that is so so good and makes me crazy but what i wanna talk about real quick is just this little panel. (1 i love that hinata is even thinking about whether tsukki is eating, he's probably half jealous wishing he could eat those wasted leftovers, and half actually worried whether he's eating) But mostly it's the "he'll leave stuff if nobody's watching to make sure he does [clean his plate]" line that i think is extra effective here

it's so small in comparison to the rest of hinata's hunger narration, but i love that furudate does take a moment to acknowledge that not all of the players are as hungry as hinata! and by using tsukki, someone who we know is less passionate and driven than a lot of the other characters—who earlier in this chapter refused to do extra practice, while hinata accepted it—as the example of someone who eats less, it just further emphasizes furudate's point that it isn't just physical hunger we're talking about here. hunger=desire, drive, passion

and then the bit about tsukki only finishing when someone's watching is a great piece of characterization and insight into his current volleyball mindset—tsukki doesn't like to eat a lot. tsukki only puts in the minimum effort necessary. tsukki will get away with less if no one is looking—in life and on the court. and none of this is new info either, hinata has been eating a ton since the beginning of the series and tsukki has been eating less (there's the scenes at tokyo camp of the third years trying to get him to eat more, or if you ever look his plate in any eating scene his portion is way smaller than everyone else's, despite him being a lot bigger than them) and furudate chooses now, when hinata is at the biggest developmental crossroads of his life to start to really start to shine a light on the theme!!

then of course hunger is contagious too and eventually during camp tsukki does stay for extra practice, he specifically invites hinata to practice with him, and even though tsukki questions himself, he does it anyway (chp 214)

and eventually, eventually, tsukki does start to get hungry too (chps 283 & 284, right to left)

it's not 'ugh i'm so tired i want to stop,' it's 'ugh im so tired, i wish i had enough to keep going' which isn't too far of a jump to him saying 'i like this, i want to keep going' !! which of course, he does admit to volleyball being fun the next day during the next match, thanks to everyone who helped him get there, including hinata and his contagious, never ending hunger

food is volleyball, volleyball is fun and volleyball is connection, connection is love

it was never just about food!!!!!!!!

[sadkachow]

if i hear one more pro-ai take i fear i may start exploding people with my brain

[starlooove]

The woobification of Gotham rogues needs to be studied

[savage-rhi]

Fuschia/Magenta?

[catamaurrr-star]

they dont even know about my ocs

[dullahandyke]

the only thing stopping me from writing larxene x aura blackquill smut is that i have no earthly fucking idea how to get the two in a room together. wouldnt want it to be some 'au where theyre both office workers and get locked in a closet xoxo' thing. aiming for fully plausible 'YOU CAN'T PROVE IT DIDN'T HAPPEN'. i usually place japanifornia in quadratum for my ends re: keyblade revolutionnaire, but that asks wicked questions abt how larxene got there so my best bet is probably 'san fransokyo and we imply that the plot of big hero 6 is happening in the background of aa during the 7 year gap'. but then what

[bedforddanes75]

? next chapter of guess what is horny ? i don't remember writing this

[the-sparkling-diamond-satine]

21. Friends hear through hotel walls? (Arabia and Ivy) for the WIP Ask Game !!!!!!!!!

Send me an ask from my WIP List and I'll post a little snippet or tell you something about it!

Ack sorry in advance this one is... Not Fun??? *hides under my desk* idk where this idea came from but I ended up writing it as a way to feel more comfortable writing Arabia/Ivy (there's nothing quite like putting character's in a crisis to get to know them better I guess??). Anyways, idk if I'm gonna post this one because everyone will banish me to angst jail and attack me with hammers and mean comments haha. But uh, here you go?? Enjoy???? (abuse tw)

Arabella curls up into a ball with her back against the headboard, trying to make herself as small as possible, trying to get away from the awful sounds coming from the next room, now entirely unmistakable as Satine’s boyfriend hitting her while she begs for him to stop. “You’re okay, Bella,” Ivy murmurs, momentarily covering the receiver with one hand while she rubs Arabella’s leg with the other. “They’re on the way. They’ll be here in a few minutes. It’s going to be okay.” Arabella shakes her head; she can’t seem to stop trembling, but it feels like it’s happening to someone else. Something glass shatters next door and Satine sobs and Arabella thinks she’s going to be sick right here on the mattress. Nothing about this is okay. She wants to lean closer to her girlfriend but she can’t seem to make herself move; besides, everything inside her is screaming at her to get away from everyone. Arabella covers her ears and squeezes her eyes shut tight, trying to block out the sound of her friend’s suffering, feeling guilty all the while that she has this option. There’s another loud thump from next door and Satine’s voice cuts off mid-scream. Ivy drops the receiver, her hand stilling on Arabella’s knee. For a moment neither of them moves or even dares to breathe, both imagining the worst. It turns out there is a more horrible noise than her friend’s cries for help, and that’s them going abruptly, horrifically, bone-chillingly silent.

[carcarrot]

well that was a shortlived good feeling about my job

[bicon-crange]

genuinely distressed by how bad i am at writing female characters