#im gonna go on a stupid rant about it when i get home i HATE this specific class so much

[fr0stbearer]

why is this non-major subject's passing score for an exam is 38 out of 50. my major doesn't even do that..

[fuxuannie]

Hi sage!! I hope you're doing well<33 do you mind doing jealousy headcanons for dan heng, jing yuan and any other characters you chose?? Thank you 🤍🤍 you're keeping the hsr x reader tag alive 😭

* pairing(s) : various hsr men (4, again) x gender neutral reader

* prompt : jealousy bites like you like a poisonous snake, the bite hurts, but its the venom that gets you.

* authors note : hi anon !!! (๑´ㅂ`๑) thank you for requesting, you're so sweet for the last msg omg tysm <3 i hope u enjoy !

* brief warning : blade kills a man, very blade of him. (his is also more of a joke im sorry blade lovers) ALSO THIS PROGRESSIVELY GETS SHORTER EACH CHARACTER, I JUST REALLY LIKE DAN HENG IM SORRY LMAO.

DAN HENG can't hide the way his eye twitches, how tightly he grips onto his spear or the way he'd mutter things under his breath. He despises it when he's jealous, but he hates it more when he sees the reason for doing so.

He knows he's.. not exactly like all your previous partners, it stemmed an insecurity in him. He wasn't all too funny, and knew he couldn't make you laugh with a corny joke.

So the way Sampo keeps making you laugh, making you smile, it was sparking a jealous flame in his heart. But more than anything, it saddened him that he couldn't make you laugh like that.

God, your smile was so pretty.

After a while, he interlocks his fingers with yours and mutters a small 'Can we go?' to you. You immediately notice his saddened tone, and thank Sampo for his time before walking home with your boyfriend.

"Dan Heng?" You say softly, noticing his rather saddened mood. He lets out a small hum to acknowledge your call for him, and you sigh. "Are you upset?"

He nods his head.

"Is it.. because of Sampo?"

He hesitates, but that alone gives you an answer.

Dan Heng takes a deep breath, before looking at you, his eyes filled with honesty. "I was.. jealous. I know I can't make you laugh the way he does, and it frustrates me. I want to be a man who makes you smile everyday but-"

Amidst his rant, he sees how your gaze softened at his words. This entire time, he was insecure? He hid it well, so well, at the very least from you. "I'm sorry, this is stupid-"

"N-no! It's not, I should be apologizing if anything! I failed to realize these things.. I'm sorry, my love. Sampo.. he makes me laugh, but you make my heart flutter. You make me feel things no one else can, okay? I'm yours, as you are mine."

He smiles at you, he's just happy he communicated his feelings, and you understood. "I'll be sure to try and tell you how I feel next time, okay? As long as you promise you'll stop hanging out with him. I was honestly afraid I was gonna have to get rid of him."

You blinked a few times, but he sighs. "I'm kiddinngg.."

JING YUAN knows he's far too good of a man, therefore doesn't get jealous.

He's yet to be disproven in the first part, but his golden eyes are filled with annoyance as the stares of a certain enemy of his lingers far too long on you.

You were filling in for Yanqing, he was absent for the day (something about falling into an ice cold river and getting sick or something...) and so someone needed to be there as the General would be meeting Blade.

And Jing Yuan couldn't ignore how Blade's eyes never left your form while he spoke, hanging your head down low and so you wouldn't notice. That made him greatly annoyed, almost unable to focus, but he had a mission at hand. And so he forced his jealousy to subside.

Needless to say, the small marks on your neck was embarassing to have seen in public. (And the small bird constantly pecking at Blade's hair was definitely also not Jing Yuans doing.)

GEPARD is so understanding, he evaluates every situation with logical thinking, as expected as a leader.

So it wasn't hard to figure out the intentions of the 'friend' that was speaking to you, how their voice was almost sweeter, and the way they clinged onto your arm was signalling red flags.

Gepard wouldn't have minded this, it could've easily been friendly gestures, but Serval is one of your closest friends and you were within a friendgroup. And she knows that person has a crush on you, and it was painfully obvious.

So naturally, he swiftly and surpisingly gently pulls you from the waist out of their grasp especially with how firm his grip around you was. He gives them a not so friendly glare, and plants a soft kiss to your lips. "My partner." He states, pulling you close as you're left to be stunned with the sudden posessiveness of your partner. "Mine."

Blade simply stares down at the person even attempting to approach you with clearly bad intentions. And if they dare to try to push their luck, Blade comes home with blood on his hands.

"What did you do??" You'd ask, you already knew the answer after already learning what Blade was truly like. "What was necessary." He replied, a kiss on your cheek as he walks in through the door to wash his hands.

[oreoov]

☆ - 𝐊𝐀𝐙𝐔𝐇𝐀 𝐀𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐂 '𝐒 . .ᐟ

kazuha x gn!reader ♡ / fluff and a bit of angst / modern au <3

note ; guys i think im inlove with kazuha fr (hes such a cutie patootieee :3) (xiao ver)

he's literally the biggest green flag ever like, HELLO???

cuddles and kisses 24/4 ... loves loves loves kissing u in forhead <3

always texts or greets you goodmorning/goodnight every single day

boops your nose a lot, and finds your reaction sooo cute after he does it

he definitely loves to go travelling so hes always gonna bring you with him, and if you cant tag along, he'd bring home many gifts and souvenirs just for you ;3

isn't ashamed or embarassed of pda, he wouldn't mind holding your hand or having your waist wrapped around his arm in public

loves carrying you around the house if you guys are bored LMAO

if he has something on his mind that he'd like to do with you but might sound a bit extra, he would definitely ask for your consent first

lots and lots of matching stuffs like keychains, pens, profile pictures, bios, etc!!

definitely has you tagged on his instagram bio and has highlights only dedicated to you <3

always gives you so much love and reassurance when you need it, loves whispering sweet nothings in your ear when you guys are cuddling

talks about you A LOT with his friends, he just loves showing off his cute partner!!

loves using petnames like darling, dear/dearest, love/my love <33

arguments are quite rare but when it does happen, he won't hesitate to try and find a solution as quick as possible since he absolutely hates arguments with you :((

he definitely notices if you ever get jealous because hes being quiet friendly with someone else, dont worry though! he'll never get tired of reassuring you that he only has eyes for you and only you!!

"love ... are you okay? was i being a bit too friendly with them ..? im so sorry my dear .. i can always guarantee you that i have eyes for you and only you."

if its a heated argument, he would probably be the one to apologize first, he wouldn't be able to sleep at night and he just can't handle a day without you, especially when you're mad at him ...

anyways moving on from the angst ... back to fluff!

he loves cats!!!!

and if you like cats too, you guys can adopt a little kitten together :DDD

when you're away, he likes to talk to the kitten, acting as if it could understand him! (thats actually so adorable omg)

loves it when you ask him to do skincare together!!

he always misses you so much !!

"miss you ... come back here .."

"zuha i was just at the toilet for 5 minutes .."

is always there for you, whether you need attention, or just someone to talk to :3

loves listening to your rants, even if its silly and stupid he doesn't mind at all!! he adores your voice! and you just ranting about the most random things is so funny and adorable to him ..

"and like im just so pissed, how can my left airpod disappear?!?! thats literally so stupid it was in the case the entire time. im so mad right now you dont understand zuha. im so mad. so so so so mad."

"darling, i think you need to calm down ... also, the airpod is in your ear by the way."

loves giving you headpats, and he also loves when you give him headpats!

idk man hes just a cutie patootie, 10/10 would recommend.

[kickbutts-singsongs]

I know no one asked, but I have exactly zero (0) people to talk about bkdk with irl so here you guys go

My BKDK Journey

Yes, this sounds stupid, but my god it’s been almost three years of an absolute rollercoaster of feelings and denials and tears and revelations…

and if you don’t mind, I’m gonna rant about it.

(not spoiler free)

_____

May 2021

To start off, i wasn’t always a bkdk shipper.

I shipped izu*cha at first (not saying it’s a bad ship btw; it’s actually quite cute. im just afraid people’ll be mad if I accidentally invade their tag lol), primarily because I assumed that would be the ship that became canon.

But also, my veryyyyy leasttttt favorite character… was Bakugou Katsuki.

When I tell you that I would’ve loved nothing more than to somehow spawn into the bnha universe and punch that brat in the face— AGHHHHHHHHHH

Now this wasn’t all his fault: A) I watched the dub first lol, and B) he reminded me of someone that i was not in a place to stand up to at the time, and his constant anger, yelling, and harsh treatment of Izuku—who i began to relate to—made me hateeee him.

There was a time when I literally said “if he died, I wouldn’t miss him.” <- this was later proven false lol

So, I was watching the anime dub with an absolute animosity for our resident deuteragonist, but on top of that…

I was watching it with a friend with a crunchyroll account who lived in another state that I was visiting and staying with for two weeks, so by the time i had to go back home, we’d only gotten up to the part where All Might was getting Inko’s permission to let Izuku stay at the UA dorms.

Anddddddd in my drive to consume more bnha once I got home, i somehow stumbled across an Instagram account that posted bnha sub episodes divided into parts,

but they only had season four and onwards.

Sooooo I never saw the second half of season three… more importantly,

I NEVER SAW DEKU VS KACCHAN 2!!!!!

(I will say that I had seen a couple photos/edits/etc, but I never knew what had been said, or why they fought)

_____

June 2021

At this point in time, I’d been exposed to a lot of the fandom. My fyp on both IG and Pinterest were filled to the brim with all things bnha (because this is what happens when one has a hyperfixation), so I saw a lot of stuff.

Especially fanart.

This is where I started learning about the different ships.

I saw a lot of the side character ships and thought they were adorable (kamijirou, todomomo, even kiribaku), but then I saw some with Izuku.

Izu*cha was a given for me. I didn’t think there was a single person that didn’t ship it. But then I started seeing fanart of ships like tododeku, shindeku, and bakudeku.

And my first reaction to finding out that people shipped my beautiful baby sunshine boi with the person who bullied him for years?????

HELLLLLLLLLLL NO

So with my (unknowingly) limited knowledge of their relationship, i was very much an anti (i never spoke out or anything, i just reallyyyy didn’t like the ship lol)

(And then, you know, I started to see all the bkdk hate online and kinda went “okay not touching that”)

But that began to change…

_____

August 2021

…after I saw a manga leak for the first time.

I was scrolling thru my feed and all of a sudden. BOOM!

I was like 😧

IS THAT IZUKU?????

And i looked in the comments and yes it was.

I checked out the page and found that they had an entire account of manga leaks and was so happy.

I quickly began to read from the very bottom of that account, and it started from right about where Izuku first began his vigilante arc (i had no idea how much was in between then and where I left off on the anime, but I was willing to read it lol)

And so I waited diligently for the leaks every week (a practice I have continued to uphold lol), until one day, i came across an untranslated series of panels from the latest chapter. I looked at it and it was of Katsuki and Izuku, facing each other in the rain (you know the one). I knew the leaks would be coming a day later, but I wanted to look through them anyways, so I did.

I didn’t understand a word they said, but the pictures and imagery of them as kids then middle schoolers then where they were now seemed so touching…

And then I came across a pair of kanji that I recognized.

I was like “wait WHAT???”

I zoomed in and went “that— isn’t that—? That’s part of Midoriya’s name, right???”

And then I was like “wait a second… omg that’s Izuku, isn’t it. That’s the freaking kanji for Izuku.”

And it was!!!!!

So inside I’m having a mini freakout cuz—

Bakugou just called him IZUKU

Fast forward to the next day, and I looked at the translated version, and found out that not only did he call him Izuku,

He

Freaking

APOLOGIZED

And I was like “huhhhhhhh”

What happened between now and the most recent anime episodes for this to occur???? For Bakugou to do a complete 180 and apologize????????

Well, I finally got my answers…

_____

November 2021

…when I started reading the manga.

I started from the beginning, cuz I wanted to see Horikoshi’s art style and the extra drawings and all the other stuff…

And when I tell you that Katsuki became a whole new character to me—

First, I read everything about early-on Bakugou— without hearing him yell in his dub voice—and realized “oh wow he really is just a kid with issues and a worldview that he’s now having to change.”

Then, I finally read what happened in that space between moving into the dorms and the beginning of season four (most importantly, DvK2).

Cried.

Then, oh then, I got up to where season five ended and the rest of the manga began.

. . .

Funny thing: back when I read the leaks to ch322, I remember thinking to myself, “huh. what did Bakugou mean by Shigaraki making swiss cheese outta him?”

😦

THE WAY I GASPED

AND THEN CRIED

OH MY FREAKING GOD

That was the moment where i truly ceased to hate Katsuki cuz holy character development batman

Then, of course, we see them in recovery

And then the vigilante arc and apology scene *sobs*

And then I was caught up.

(Btw I finished the entire manga up ‘til ch334 in just over a week. I read for nine days straight. During the school year. My emotions were all over the place goodness gracious I could barely concentrate.)

So that’s how I went from being a Bakugou hater to going “you know what he’s a complex character and he’s slowly becoming a better person” and realizing that he was now one of my fav characters and therefore cursed to die but I’ll talk about that later

Was I now a bakudeku shipper?

Hah nope.

_____

December 2021

I began my dive into the true essence of any fandom: fanfiction.

Over the course of winter break, I had started off with fics that had no romantic pairing (I just wanted to see my boi Izuku), but then somehow stumbled across Mastermind: Strategist for Hire and then read the entirety of the For Want of a Nail series (shoutout to Clouds btw ❤️) cuz I was like “ok whew no bkdk fics” which was my mindset at the time.

But somehow (I can’t even remember how I found it) I came across a bkdk fic. It was called For Want of Izuku’s Toe Joint by Talavin (okay now that I think about it there’s probably a simple explanation lol).

I don’t quite know what compelled me to start reading it, but I did.

And I really liked it.

But not in the “I’ve been converted” kinda way.

It was like an “I shouldn’t be enjoying this why am I enjoying this?” kinda feeling. Like my head says no but my heart says yeah.

A really really really really guilty pleasure.

So, from that day on, whenever I came across any form of bkdk media, I would simultaneously feel discomfort and yet an odd sense of satisfaction.

A snippet of my daily life:

Me: *comes across bkdk fanart on pinterest*

Me: eww

Also me: *stares at it for like five minutes straight*

Me: who even likes this?

Also me: *saves pin to my mha board*

Me: not my ship

Also me: *scrolls down to more like this*

Bless my heart I was in such denial.

_____

July 2022

Bit of a timeskip, but nothing of note really happened in those last six months so here we go.

We’ve gotten to the point in the manga where the final arc is underway and Bakugou is about to KICK SOME BUTT

He’s revealed his Panser Strafe support item and I’m gushing about it to my friend (she kinda fell out of the fandom but still tolerated my rants bless her)

Oh, side note: it was then that I also expressed my concern for Bakugou’s “alive” status

Evidence:

For reference, some of my favorite characters are:

Beth March (Little Women)

John Reese (Person of Interest)

Joss Carter (Person of Interest)

Leonard Snart (Arrowverse)

Logan Echolls (Veronica Mars)

Fantine (Les Mis)

Eponine (Les Mis)

Jean Valjean (Les Mis)

Simon (Lord of the Flies)

Piggy (Lord of the Flies)

Grace Stone (Manifest)

Bubaigawara Jin — Twice (BNHA)

Wanna guess which of these guys died?

Trick question! It’s all of them (:

Yeah so anyways those following chapters really made me excited and nervous cuz YEAH KICK HIS ASS BAKUGOU but also IZUKUUUUU WE NEED YOU

hah hah.

_____

August 2022

Utterly gobsmacked. Cried. Disbelief. Horrified. Confusion. Anger. Went through the five stages of grief and then some.

Sometimes I hate being right 🥲

But the good thing that came from this was that my positive view of Katsuki only grew after seeing his utter faith in Izuku (and his thoughts being on him in his final moments???? 🥺🥺🥺)

And it was at this point in time where I could admit to myself “you know what? i see it. i see the appeal. i wouldn’t mind this actually becoming canon.”

Did I think that it would actually become canon?? No.

_____

September 2022

I don’t know how I thought Izuku was gonna react to seeing Katsuki’s body on the ground, but GOOD LORD IT WASNT THAT

Even sweet little blind me realized “oh wow he like really feels intense stuff for Katsuki huh”

(But some things I missed—cuz I was still a bit wired for izu*cha—were shigarakis implications “yeah u looooove the present I got u” and the freaking HEART that blackwhip caused??? when Izuku reeled himself back in???? like how did i miss that i read that chapter like fifteen times??)

So this is all to say that I’ve missed any and all actual bkdk hints up until this point. I finally lifted my head out of the izu*cha fog when…

_____

July 2023

…Ochako and Toga had their chat about romance.

The first actual hint was when Ochako had told Toga “I’ll give you my blood for the rest of my life.”

Little blind me became a bit less blind that day, cuz I was like “um. ochako? that— that sounded kinda like a proposal. like. a marriage proposal. ochako??”

And then those chapters just kept getting better!!

Bebe Ochako’s determination???

The Spirited Away moment?????

“I’m envious of your smile”????????

“YOU REALLY THINK IM CUTE?” “THE CUTEST IN THE WHOLE WORLD” LIKE 😭😭😭😭😭

For the first time, I was looking at the manga without the assumption that izu*cha would be endgame. And it only got better after I…

_____

August 2023

…got Tumblr!!!

Everything was downhill from here folks.

In the best possible way.

I came across some analyses of what was going on with togachako, and consequently led me to some bakudeku analyses. I read them and my goodness they made so much sense.

Like not even just personality-wise!! Those metas brought in actual things Horikoshi said about wanting to go outside the norms of shounen (and about not liking the Naruto ending 💀), and compared bkdk to tropes in different works of fiction, and even discussed how bkdk made sense narratively. They properly convinced me of the ship.

And then for good measure, I reread the manga in its entirety thru a bkdk filter, and lo and behold things took on new meanings and my eyes were opened.

I totally and irrevocably shipped them! And I actually thought they had a chance at being canon!!

(And then I binged so much bkdk fanfiction omg you wouldn’t BELIEVE like I read the ones with the highest kudos first and then just picked the biggest collections I could find and read down the line

It was like being on drugs like each fic gave me more dopamine than the last I was so happy oh my god)

_____

October 2023

And then finally, the day came.

The answer to “is bakugou alive yet?” became a yes.

We screamed. We cried. We jumped for joy. We told bakugou antis to suck it. But most of all, our bkdk hearts soared to see our boys make eye contact with each other for the first time in over a year 🥹

And from that moment on, I truly began to believe that bkdk would indeed become canon.

_____

And so, this concludes my 42672288 page rant about how I came to be a bkdk shipper.

Thank you for reading, and before I go, I want to ask:

How did you guys get into bkdk?

Did you convert over from izu*cha? Or perhaps tododeku? Or maybe kiribaku? Or are you one of the few who have shipped them since the beginning??

In any case, I’m happy you’re here. And while it may have taken me a couple years, I’m happy that I’m here too :)

(and thank you @animelover32456)

[forwomenbiwomen]

is your bf not gentle with you omfg?? leave himm what is even the point

I KNOW IM EXPERIENCING THE WORST COGNITIVE DISSONANCE OF MY LIFE I'm sharply remembering that I'm not even in my 20s yet (few months to go) and I'm feeling the burn of teenage stupidity rn

Can I rant here? I'm gonna rant here hold on

Ok so without sounding like I'm bleeding out from Cupid's arrow he's genuinely very kind and thoughtful and generous to me, and has done everything right for the past two years where we've not argued once except for a few disagreements that we've mutually committed to solving as soon as possible and to the best of our ability. He's said he's stopped watching porn and I trust him bcs I have to have some level of trust to make it work.

Until this past week where I've gotten the ick. He is in love with me, I can see that. However. He seems to be exploring (?) things? Like he's pushed my head on the bed a bit roughly while we've had sex and put his fingers into my mouth when I don't like it and I've told him that blah blah. He has flung me about in rough ways and he has hurt me unintentionally before. He also does not read my body language AT ALL. It's our working theory that he's a littleee autistic. I come from an exceptionally well attuned family where things go without saying all the time and for him to ignore signals I think are obvious without saying and rude to say is weird to me. Just before, for instance, he kissed me and didn't let go even when I was struggling against him until I actually managed to get out protests. And I've told him to stop licking me which I find gross and violating bcs I hate germs and it's a disgusting feeling on my face but he's forgotten that apparently 🙄 and he'll attack me with kisses until I'm actually overstimulated to the point of freezing up

Ok I'm suffering but I'm gonna keep going whenever I talk about things that affect me emotionally he has to approach the conversation from a "different angle" so he "understands" me but I've come to think it's just exhausting to have to defend my position LIKE BEFORE I was talking about how my male psychiatrist told me I should go on SSRIs I don't want to go on bcs my ADHD meds haven't arrived and it's the next thing he could think of, and when I said I'll talk to my parents about it he shamed me for having "no autonomy". Anyway I told my boyfriend and he was saying well maybe you do need more autonomy and maybe the doctor's right and I was like DAMN. EVEN IF HE WAS I was really stressed and I needed to just have someone to listen to me. When I said this he got annoyed and was like "well do you want me to treat you like I would treat any normal person?" And I was like NO. I want you to treat me like your GIRLFRIEND and offer some support without immediate solutions

Feeling like a knife is in my heart but let's continue he's acting really fucking weird and immature recently, like making weird faces or trying to bite me or lick me like he licked my fucking scalp yesterday and I have never felt such abject cringe. And when I was talking to him before he couldn't seem to get off his fucking Instagram and I had to eventually be like babe no I actually want your attention here hello? But the immaturity combined with all of this has really given me the ick. Like it's just ugly of him when he does these stupid faces and won't shut up making noises.

OH MY GOD I was crying at the gym the other day I've said it on here and when I was home crying about it he wouldn't stop being fucking weird and playing with my hands and I tried to ignore it until I actually snapped and I just cried out "stop it" and he was like "ok well what do you want me to do then" and I was like idk just don't act absolutely oblivious when I'm crying please. And then he'll act like a baby if I'm mad until he decides it's actually serious and then he'll get super disappointed and nonchalant and blah blah.

I think these are the feelings I've been suppressing, actually. I think these are the feelings I don't want to admit to myself bcs even tho I've listed out the worst of him here the positives are so good. I just. Idk.

If I was reading this I would be horrified and disappointed in her that she would put up with this while claiming to be a radfem but obviously I'm not perfect bcs I'm dating a man in the first place lol. I'm better than whatever he's putting me through, and even tho I wanted this whole relationship to be perfect I don't deserve to lie and suppress my instincts and common sense bcs I love him.

I don't know what to say now bcs I'm going to be painfully vulnerable here and say I'm not sure I have the courage to break up with him bcs I do actually love him even tho he's weird as fuck lol. I don't know. I don't know. I'm still young and idk. Idk if I can talk to him about this and sort it out or if he's not worth my time, even tho I wish he was. I wanted it to be him so fucking badly I still do. I think I've lost too much blood from that fucking arrow tho 💘

Sorry anon for ranting I'm sad now I'm going to sit in my room and have a good hard think about this man

[thrivinginagony]

guys they made an emoji that looks like me! 🐷🐖

------

ok stupid rant like dont read this but im like not even sure if i actually have an ęd or whatnot.

like i was just on vaca for ~8 days and ive never ate more in my life. it was so bad and humbling and wearing my bathing suits and looking in the mirror was exhausting and pathetic. there was this big buffet style place my fam wanted to go to at least once a day (breakfast/lunch) but i hated it because i just stuffed my face every time getting MULTIPLE PLATES OF FOOD

god im disgusting i kid you not i gained all the weight back that i lost i need a scale rn im gonna go insane if i cant weigh myself

but at the same time like i felt really free like i COULD eat anything i want bcuz when im home its a constant thing im thinking about. it felt like a breath of fresh air and made me reconsider what i am doing with my life at the ripe age of 16 but now i just feel shame and misery and regret eating so much.

anyways i literally got covid (fml) so now i have excuses to not eat as much / have a more restricted diet so yay for that i guess!

anyways yeah when im finally home alone again im gonna create a whole new plan (diet, workouts, etc) and finally lose the weight ive been wanting to. i will be under 100lbs!!! im gonna look soo good and im gonna have a low bmi and omgg i just want to see my bones poking out like im from a tim burton movie (actual th1nsp0)

stupid rant but also drop any tips you have help

[charlotte-of-wales]

Im gonna a rant a bit but some blogs are really throwing mud and whatnot at Diana because C&C are disliked/hated. I don’t think Diana is an angel, she made a shit ton of mistakes and was very manipulative towards the press. But that said people are sympathetic to her because she was only what 19/20 when she married an older man who frankly had no business marrying a teen. She then got pregnant shortly afterward and unlike Kate started as a working royal immediately. There was very little patience for her and a lot of press attention on her when she got engaged, she also didn’t get much help from the palace unlike say Kate&M (despite what M may claim). Then her husband starts an affair. Frankly I get why she’s so messed up, she never had a stable home and married&had a kid when she wasn’t mature herself.

Im not saying she was an angel and didn’t do fucked up shit. She herself had affairs and harassed her affair partners and their wives.

But its ironic that the people who claim C&C are hated because of Diana slandered them; and try to justify or excuse C&C’s affair then go on and slander Diana for the exact same shit C&C do.

Im not saying Charles and Camilla are evil and that they shouldn’t be king or queen. I also think those who rag on them for their affair are stupid and should move the fuck on. But why slander a dead woman. She was messed up and frankly her own family let her down by first letting her get married so young and then kinda abandoning her. Let her rest in peace, she’s been dead for nearly 30years.

I mean, there's always a gray area when talking about real people who make real mistakes. The heavy criticism of Diana is a response of the abuse C&C have experienced for decades mainly coming (from what I've seen) from younger people who have a more nuanced views on things.

I feel for Diana for going through the madness of marrying into the royal family (to a much older man no less) at such a young age and becoming a mother soon after. Her childhood was also very difficult and she clearly struggled with some inner demons and never got proper help or support. As someone whose mother has been treating me as her personal therapist since I was eight though, I also do have a major issue with how she treated William as a grow-up since a very young age and I can't imagine how it must have been growing up seeing your parents' divorce splashed on the front pages of tabloids, having your mother crying to you about it and also feeling a sense of loyalty towards your father's family since they represent an institution of which you'll be the head of one day. I also find this version of her that people have created in their heads very hypocritical to the point that is comical - with her having cheated, being an avid supporter of the monarchy and having said some pretty problematic things as well and yet the narrative is that she wanted to see the monarchy crash and burn while also being #woke in the 80s.

Same goes for C&C. They both messed up, but also they've been dragged to hell and back for messing up decades ago. I think nuance is needed when talking about these people as, again, there is a gray area but honestly, when it comes to royal watching it's better to just tune stuff out. There's always going to be someone who disagrees with you.

[crimeboys]

hiya i feel like ive seen you mention the sweeney todd au but. sitting here kicking my feet. if u would like an opportunity to rant abt it please take this as one -kai

oh hi!! yes i've mentioned it a few times mostly bc i was desperately trying not to make wilbur a barber LMAO. i'll be so fr, im probably never writing this thing forrealsies, especially bc there are so many details and storylines i do not feel like figuring out, so i can just tell you like. everything under the cut. it'll probably be a little jumpy bc i don't have any of this info actually written anywhere it's all in my mind lul.

WARNINGS: cannibalism, murder, abuse, suicide

it's basically just like. wilbur is sweeney. quackity is mrs. lovett. 13 years prior, wilbur was sent to prison by schlatt for "treason" and a bunch of bullshit political stuff bc well they had beef. a little bit before this, sally disappeared and wilbur claimed she left him, but he actually murdered her (do not know the reason yet, and if i did i forgot) and the only one who knows is quackity, but wilbur does not know that quackity knows. also wilbur definitely ate sally in some way bc well i always liked the idea the wilbur ate sally in canon. she's just a human instead of a salmon.

so it's 13 years later, and wilbur is getting off a boat with this guy tommy who has been helping him (which btw wilbur and tommy are MUCH closer than sweeney and anthony, they're besties instead of like. awkward mentor and semi-student), and wilbur plans to go back to his old home to see what remains while tommy goes to do some fucking thang idk. and wilbur ends up finding quackity, who has opened a burger shop, and tommy accidentally runs into schlatt, fundy, and tubbo and almost gets in a fist-fight with fundy. also in this au schlatt semi-raises fundy but is kind of a shit semi-dad and everyone around him is just miserable. ignoring like 90% of the johanna plot Except the simple fact that wilbur has a kid who was given to someone he fucking hates and now he wants to get him back.

tubbo is basically toby but if toby was schlatt's right-hand man instead of random fake italian guy. also wilbur's first kill is eret, who actually came to him trying to make amends/help, but wilbur thought was trying to out him to schlatt, so wilbur like. panic-murders eret. and has a bit of a freak out about it bc he's murdered someone before (his wife lul) but it haunts him and now this does too. but quackity's just like Bro. Free meat. This goes crazy. bc it's basically the same plot of like, meat prices are crazy, quackity can't afford it, and this is the perfect solution to his meat problem and wilbur's killed someone and has a body problem. also quackity used to be part of the manberg cabinet but when he finally broke things off with schlatt for being constantly disrespected both as a partner in politics and fiance, he was basically defamed and kicked to the curb and had everything taken from him so he had to figure shit out which is how he ended up in the position of burger shop owner in wilbur soot's old place.

also wilbur and quackity obvious tension but it's like that "im probably nonbinary but ive got a job so i don't really worry about that" but wilbur's like "im probably attracted to quackity but i've got a lot of people to murder to get my son back so i don't really worry about that" and quackity's malding about that a little bc he is definitely in love with wilbur but it's fine he gets one thing he wants and that's a functional fucking business, he can figure out the wilbur shit later when wilbur gets his stupid son back.

but yeah. wilbur murders eret, which starts a spiral spurred on by quackity being like "objectively you should keep killing people so i can run my business thanks man", and the rage he carries from his life being taken away for nothing, and the violence he has always carried since he murdered sally. idk if tommy's gonna know? i haven't thought about tommy enough in this au tbh and that's bc he is Completely different than anthony so i have to fucking think about it a lot. bc he's not going after fundy like anthony was johanna, he's trying to help fundy bc that's wilbur's son and wilbur's his best friend so he wants to help him save his fucking son. but fundy is also conflicted bc he genuinely cares about schlatt, as they've all genuinely cared about schlatt, and he's like a father to him.

also tubbo does NOT trust wilbur's ass. he's very fond of quackity, from memories of his childhood and quackity at schlatt's side, trying to protect tubbo, and the way quackity welcomes him with open arms when he gets the fuck out of there after tubbo hits his breaking point with schlatt, but tubbo thinks wilbur is kind of like the worst. bc he doesn't realize until it's too late that quackity is also kind of like the worst.

i haven't thought a lot about the middle, just bits and bobs, mostly the beginning and the end. i have the ending planned beat for beat pretty much.

the ending, basically, is that wilbur has tossed schlatt down the murder chute or what-fucking-ever, and quackity watches him die. he sort of just like stands there and watches schlatt choke on his own blood, not even trying to help or kill him faster, just watches it happen. as schlatt takes his last breath, wilbur storms down to the basement to make sure schlatt is dead. and he is! so wilbur's like this is my perfect victory, everything is fine now, except shit, tubbo knows about the murders bc frankly they are not very good at cleaning up their murders. this means they either need to kill tubbo or convince him to keep his mouth shut. they both know the second isn't really an option.

one of them vouches to keep tubbo alive despite this, probably quackity, and it sparks an argument that has quackity finally confess that he knows wilbur killed sally. wilbur is paranoid and angry and quackity is paranoid and angry and their argument devolves until they're trying to fucking kill each other. wilbur barely escapes the room with his life intact, though he doesn't manage to quite kill quackity.

he tries to find fundy and tommy, but they are both still trying to get to the shop after escaping the prison? or some shit again, not fully sure, their part of the story needs some fucking work, but wilbur is frustrated because he hoped to find them before tubbo did, lying and saying tubbo and quackity were killed by schlatt and wilbur killed schlatt in retaliation, and fleeing with both of them into the night. when he can't find them, wilbur decides he needs to go back after tubbo and goes through the side door of the house and back down the basement stairs.

while wilbur was looking for tommy and fundy, quackity had gathered himself back up from their fight and planned to go after wilbur and finish the fucking job, but he trips on schlatt's body and in a moment of just complete and utter anger and frustration and, unfortunately, love for both the dead man and the man who killed him, quackity grabs a bone or knife or something and cuts open schlatt's chest, pulls out his heart, and starts to eat it. as quackity eats schlatt's heart, tubbo comes up behind him and stabs him through his heart. he drops the knife and runs, finding tommy and fundy running up to the front door, looking for wilbur.

wilbur finds himself downstairs. he looks at the carnage, the oven still running, quackity and schlatt's dead bodies, meat and bones everywhere from he and quackity's work together. he wonders how the hell he's going to face fundy, face tommy, after everything he has done. he hsan't seen his son in 13 years, he hardly knows what fundy fucking looks like, he hardly remembers what sally looked like. it's all in a haze of blood, the awful life he made with quackity and tubbo overwriting it. he decides to kill himself and explodes the shop with the oven. somehow. i guess.

fundy, tommy, and tubbo get out alive, bc i always liked that johanna, anthony, and toby manage to get out it was very nice to me. tommy and fundy are heartbroken that wilbur died (still not sure how much they, specifically tommy, know about wilbur and quackity's business), and tubbo is admittedly very sad that he had to kill quackity, but he knows what they don't, that wilbur and quackity were dangerous men playing a dangerous game and bringing unsuspecting players into it, and he is the luckiest person in the fucking world to get out of their orbit alive. so he celebrates the fact that he won their game, and the three of them try to make a life. it is certainly happier than whatever they would have found in wilbur and quackity's.

also here is the only written (unedited) scene i have you can have it bc well i love to share thangs

Killing people outright is something Wilbur will admit he’s not fond of. He doesn’t like to watch the light leave peoples eyes. He doesn’t like his hand being the one to fell someone. He sits at the counter, staring at his hands. They were covered in blood just minutes ago. Before Quackity walked him over to the sink, talking in a low, steady voice about how it was understandable, it’s hardly as bad when it’s in self-defense, what was he supposed to do? Just let Eret tell Schlatt Wilbur’s back in town? Wilbur did the right thing. Whether that was Quackity’s voice or Wilbur’s own telling him, he still doesn’t know. But Quackity meets his eyes across the counter and does not look afraid, does not look worried. Just thoughtful. 

“So,” Quackity starts, tapping his fingers atop the counter. “What do we do with her?” 

“Take her somewhere far, far away,” Wilbur says, in a voice that sounds just as far. “Bury Eret where they’ll never find him.”

Quackity nods, looking somewhat disappointed. “Right. Right. I mean, burying Eret would make the most sense, right?” 

“Right,” Wilbur echoes, hardly listening. 

“But…” He sighs, looking up at the ceiling, all that separates them from Eret’s body. “Seems like a waste, right?” Wilbur is brought a little closer to Earth in his confusion.

“A waste?”

“Business has been bad,” Quackity continues, thoughtfully, conversationally, like this is all very normal and Wilbur isn’t still rubbing at his hands to get the blood off. “Debts we can’t pay off. What would it hurt, when he’s already dead?” Wilbur isn’t connecting whatever dots Quackity lays out. Eret is dead and the shop is doing poorly. The thoughts don’t intersect. “I mean, it’d be wrong just to dump them somewhere to rot, when there’s a use? When the price of meat raises every fucking week?” Rot. Meat. The connection is made. A little laugh tumbles out of Wilbur, amusement or shock he’s unsure, and Quackity smiles. “Plenty of meat, plenty of business.” It’s completely despicable. It turns Wilbur’s stomach inside out. It’s almost enough to make a Godless man pray for forgiveness… It’s absolutely fucking brilliant.

[ladyryukyo]

For the ask game!

📄What’s a WIP you never finished that you would like to go back and revisit?

📄What’s a WIP you never finished that you would like to go back and revisit?

okay so this was the first ever idea i had for a tsubasa/kyoya fic and i have most of it outlined but not a lot written for it. its just as much a kyoya & yu friendship fic and its super lighthearted and just supposed to be funny.

im just gonna explain the premise a little: they are in college and live in apartments/dorms next to each other. kyoya is sharing with team wildfang and tsubasa is sharing with yu. like a week into the semester (they havent gotten to know their neighbors yet, first semester at college, everything is new and exciting blah) yu comes home with bags of groceries and bumps into kyoya. its an accident, ofc, kyoya is not that much of an asshole. groceries flying everywhere, yus favorite yogurt squashed at the bottom of the stairs.

kyoya is enough of an asshole however to ignore this, not offer to help, and just walk into his dorm. yu hates him, rants to tsubasa about their dick of a neighbor, tsubasa wants to give him the benefit of the doubt. and then the same thing happens to tsubasa. he runs into kyoya in the coffeeshop on campus where kyoya works and kyoya gets his order wrong and when tsubasa goes to complain kyoya is an asshole about it. so now both tsubasa and yu hate him.

and yu wants to get revenge on him so badly and sets a little prank for kyoya. a little trap. some bit of lighthearted fun. but kyoya doesnt find it funny and gets yu back and soon enough tsubasa and the rest of wildfang get involved and its a full out prank war between them.

just the idea of yu being annoying enough with his pranks that he pulls kyoya and tsubasa to his level, gets them to be childish and stupid like that,, and then them bonding in the midst of this because they realize hey if that person matches my energy so well and makes me laugh unwillingly with their pranks then they cant be that bad- yeah...（*＾-＾*）

[gentlewoman-scientistkisser]

⭐️Good evening.

I never thought I'd make this, but I'm sick and tired of dealing with this shit. Yknow who you are [Maru] if that's even what you want to be called. How does it feel knowing you ruined me and my friends lives?? How does it feel that you harassed my friends and demonized my friends BPD?? Do you feel proud of yourself? Do you feel like you're the shit? Do you feel happy knowing you've made the entire KJ community a hell pit? Do you enjoy seeing people suffer and manipulating them?

You claim that we don't deserve harassment yet you continue to do so, your hypocrisy is painful, you claim you don't like certain things but you've done them before on your old private acc because I've witnessed it. Not to mention how petty you are when it comes to people shipping their ocs with canon characters, yet I've seen YOU do it before so what's wrong with me and others doing it? I noticed how you slightly hint at things that have to do with me and my friends, but what have I ever done to you? You harass people that simply talk to us, we tried to help you, but you wouldn't listen to a damn thing we would say. I also wanna say that I don't care how much you hate a certain character, no one cares, you aren't getting a gold medal for being a "number 1 hater" you're just being annoying as hell and a petty brat. Your strong hatred towards something or a character people like is so fucking weird, you act like they burned down your home or did something horrible to you, I don't have a problem with disliking a character but the way you act is so immature. I barely ever spoke to you and the fact that you don't like me simply because of me talking to my friends is so petty. You would always change the subject whenever we wanted to talk about things we liked, I'm so sick and tired of hearing pholue this and pholue that, let us speak for once about something that isn't about that stupid fire bird and pirate for once. You also seem to love bullying small children when they make their own fanfiction, children should be allowed to have fun and be creative when they make their writing, and ranting about "cute girl ocs in the kj fandom" there's nothing wrong with that, I know damn well that it was hinting at my main KJ oc, don't fucking deny that because I know you, you blocked my parody acc that was made simply for fun, no harm, only for fun. And it's very ironic considering she is one that is shipped with a canon character, so stupid how you get mad at people for having fun and doing things that are FUCKING NORMAL

You constantly pull the "IM A MINOR!2!1!1!" card, guess what? I am too, how do you think you're gonna get anywhere in life doing that shit? You aren't, your gonna grow up to be an adult and the hard life is gonna hit you like a fucking truck. This has been going on for a year now and you need to fucking get over it, we TRIED to help you but once again you wouldn't listen, we would try to poke jokes and have fun but you would get mad. We didn't do anything to hurt you, and the fact that you basically made us look like bad guys is fucking wrong and sickening, do you know how hard it is to try and talk to people now without them knowing that you spoon fed them lies about us??? You need to just get off the internet ENTIERLY, and go outside and get some fresh air and grass [it might help you] I just want to continue living my life with my friends and do my writing in peace without your noisy obnoxious ass.

You've made the KJ community a hell pit, you've upset my friends and myself, you've ruined everything for everyone. Everything was so peaceful until you decided to run your loud mouth to everyone. I'm so sick and tired of you and hope your sorry ass learns a lesson. I'm done trying to be calm and be nice. The world doesn't revolve around you, and telling lies isn't gonna get you anywhere, fuck off and leave me the HELL alone and my friends.

Grow the fuck up and leave me and my friends alone.

[lunadoesstuf]

Litte rant about being sick

I hate being sick so much. My lips hurt because i keep licking them because i can't breathe out of my nose. Im coughing all the time, and it hurts to cough. I was gonna go to a sleepover with the only friend that still likes me, but i couldn't because i was sick, so now im convinced she hates me. I also had to leave her alone in school after shes told me multiple times how she likes it better when im there but i was sick and feel like im dying everytime i wake up cuz theres a clump of slime in my throat. And i have to cough that up, but coughing hurts, plus the slime feels like when you go to sleep thirty and then wake up craving water, but water makes mine worse.

Also, my voice is just completely gone. It's way deeper than normal and barley works. I can't yell when im annoyed because then my vocal coards just give up. I can berly say a sentecne more than five words. I was also supposed to do stuff like folding socks that my mom told me to do because i stayed home from school, but i didn't do a lot. I still did like 15 sock pairs, but there were at least 250 left to go.

Also, i hate having younger siblings because they are always the ones giving it to me. One is in kindergarten, and the other is in first grade, so they're the age where they always manage to get sick, and then when they're "cured" i get sick from them and ofcorse my stupid brother is blessed with the best immune system so he never gets sick. He never got covid in fucking 5 years amost he has had covid 0-1 times while i have had it 3. I only had it like 3 times becouse i was immune for like a year after each time but it sucked not being able to smell anything so i was paranoid about acedentely posening myslef.

[b4n3n4]

I've vented a bit on a public server, I shouldn't have done that, but ill vent here, this is not in any shape, or form praise to my awful ex crushes, I hope those 3 actually get tortured for Infinity in hell, especially you, you know who you are, and I know you still stalk this page.

Sometimes i miss when i was at my "lowest" objectively I guess, mentally I felt happier somehow, kind of go lucky feeling, if nothing matters nothing can hurt you, I've never talked about the boys I've liked before on this page, they were 3.

I can say my first crush was probably who made me this way, he was cold with everyone, rude, misogynistic and violent, that was the first boy I've ever liked at 12, he was different, never met anyone like him before, other seemed like cowards, unable to be authentically themselves, he introduced me to gore when I was 12, way before I even knew porn was a thing, I started to cut myself around that age, he would always ask me to see, to touch the cuts, I felt like he understood me, what I wanted to say or do he said and did, when I didn't like someone I would keep it to myself, but he would be as ruthless as he wanted, pure neutrality, I fell in love quickly, would spend whole classes looking at him, how smart he was, how charismatic, well now I can see he was just a sociopath literally but at the time he was like God to me, ill never forget his smirks when I would show him my cuts or the big smile I gave him when he fell down while playing fight with a friend and made a huge scratch in his whole stomach, showing me it proudly.

i spent a year madly in love with him and lost about 14 kgs although I couldn't diet at home, I would just start to purge my food at home and fast during school, one day I discovered that although we never dated he was using me as rebound, and somehow the love broke off that day, I had nightmares with him for about 5 years after

2 years later i met my irl ex, quiet kid in class that one day said some stupid misogynistic joke and I laughed and we bonded, showed me theync, would say I was disgusting for not being as good as him in class, basically an incel when I met him but that was the part I liked, once he started to become softer with me I lost interest quickly but we stayed together as I was waiting for him to change to his before self, we broke up because he would go through my messages, make me give my phone every time we were together etc, I hate insecure men, we were together for 4 years and during all those years I would have nightmares with the first boy.

WORST ONE SO FAR, so, as im a fucking loser and don't have friends I was searching for servers on 4chan and found one lmao, owner dms me saying he wants to kill me and he's the only dude I replied to in months, lies to me, never shows his face, uses me for my body, blackmails me, etc, but somehow because I was lonely and thought I was gonna km I let that slide for a year, also I liked how fucked up he was, then he turns too nonchalant and soft for my liking, teenage girl kinda texts and I ask to break up, we fought ALOT before also, I seriously he khs because every day I find out more lies, like sending fake plushie pic (saying he got them for me) then finding those pics in a 2016 website, ALSO said he sent fake pics the first time but then that they were real the second time (gaslight and lies because they weren't) calling me insane and obsessive for not believing him, erm okay, hope you die

WELL long rant but yes during those 3 boys I relapsed, in self-harm and gore, and also lost weight with every one of them, my boyfriend who is the sweetest kindest soul on earth, and although I thought I would be interested in him at the beginning because of his scary appearance turns out I can love someone who treats me well, but sometimes I wish I was as strong as before, I feel like nowadays everything is too easy on me and I've become too soft, its been like 3 weeks without cutting and I miss it often, I miss feeling so grossed out by everyone I would hide myself in the bathroom watching gore, I miss not caring for tomorrow or what happens to me since I knew I was going to die soon, I miss it, why am I so soft nowadays, I'm supposed to feel happy I am "getting better" but feels like my destructive mindset before actually made me happier

[mooshkat]

hi im gonna rant abt the way people are reacting to the appalachian floods bc if i don't release it into the void ill scream ♡

i love how in the midst of countless videos about the destruction and loss that the hurricane caused in the appalachia area, there's videos of people Not from this area choosing the worst fucking time to say something.

like im sorry your vacation was canceled and ruined and sure that's a lot of money you're going to have to wait and fight to get back, but why the fuck are you going to get on social media to cry about it meanwhile there's entire fucking towns wiped off the map now. there's god knows how many people missing or trapped or fucking dead because there's no power, no wifi, and no cell service in those areas.

and like as someone who lives close to the gatlinburg/pigeon forge area, i fucking hate tourists. sure it generates a lot of money for the area but i hate it. and there's already people crying in the comments of videos abt the floods and mudslide that happened up there because "they're coming in a few weeks, will it be okay? will things be open? 🥺" dude an entire goddamn house was moved in the mudslide. stay the fuck out of here. and we barely got the brunt of it compared to asheville or erwin or anywhere close to that. people have lost everything from their homes to everything to their fucking names to their lives. fuck your vacation.

and also i hope every blue state liberal who thinks this devastation is "deserved" for living in a red state or that we're "stupid for not evacuationg" deep throats broken glass. there was warning for flash floods, which is normal with how much rain we get. it's as common as the tornado watches here. nobody this far inland expected it to be so bad that there was a dam passing more water in the last few days than the fucking niagra falls does at peak season. also this is the south, more specifically where it was hit was rural areas, and nobody has that kind of money or resources to evacuate like that. and when all we knew was flash floods were likely to happen, where the fuck were they supposed to go?? nobody knew where all that water was going to hit

im just. so angry. every time some natural disaster happens somewhere in the south, the rest of the country has to speak up about how they couldn't give a fuck about us and our lives outside of their vacations because we're all just a bunch of dumb, poor hicks who voted for trump down here, right? get fucked.

[butterflyslvt22]

hello i feel like ranting so im going to rant

first topic: WHY ARE MEN SO NASTY and why am i so nasty for having sexy time with them!!!! i hate men so much. Im scared i got an STD because my stupid ass let someone put it in me with no condom :( but like idk i always felt like i’ve had so much shit happen to me in my life that maybe i’d get cut some slack in that department BUT THATS DUMB LIKE GIRL UR NOT INVINCIBLE!!! anyways gonna go to urgent care tm! hopefully it’s just a uti and some irritation 😔

Second topic: WHY do people always feel the need to comment on my body? like when i was skinny everyone told me to eat more bc i looked too “anorexic” and now that ive gained some weight i need to EAT LESS AND WORKOUT LIKE WHAT!? listen yea i stress eat and i wish i didn’t but if i dont i go to dark places and i cant handle that rn!! but im sick of stupid assholes calling me a “big back” when im just trying to breathe. Anyways u won’t catch me in a bathing suit for the rest of this summer 😝

Third topic: why the fuck is it so hard to find a decent job these days? I know I shouldn’t be such a baby about certain things but shouldn’t we like the place we have to be at everyday??? why do managers have to be such cunts and why do coworkers have to be rude like can’t we just do what we came to do nd go home??? i’m sick and tired. I want to find a rich person who can take care of me!!! I wanna be a mf housewife! i’ll clean and cook as long as u dnt send me back out here i am tired!!!!

[3dayweeknd]

this is gonna be another dumb rant. its giving privileged

no tw

during the middle of dinner we were talking about if I move out will i take the dogs and I said if im aloneand long distance at vet school i dont think i could handle it. like maybe right now if it was me and my brother sure but not if its just me while im literally in med school. anyway all of the sudden my dad is all serious like mom if you hate them so much we should get rid of them genuinely. like im serious mom u hate them soo much we should get rid of them. like what the fuck that was so random. shes like no we're not gonna do that like i'm exaggerating i dont hate them etc etc whatever. and he just kept fucking going like nuh uh i know u hate them and if it makes so u mad we should give them up. and shes like ok lindsey is sitting right there. let's not traumatize her by suddenly getting rid of the dogs. and shes right. and hes like i dont give a fuck i'd rather lindsey has to go to therapy to deal with it than see u escalate your "hatred" of the dogs. like what the fuck dude. thats actually fucked up. first of all my mom would never hurt the dogs. she gives them more care than you have ever given. second of all, what the fuck. what the fuck happened to you hating me being in therapy. I know real fucking well that if you for some reason did go through with it, you would tell me to deal with it on my own. you would shame me for needing therapy and for mourning. i never want to be like him it makes me so mad. you got these dogs by your own choice when i was a child this is on you because you were a grown man and you for some reason did not think to discuss with or even notify your wife that animals were coming home. and you think living beings are so easily disposable you are so fucking privileged you think you can drop your animal off with strangers and never think of them again well fuck you. you should have thought of the commitment when you brought them home. and promising your children things just to constantly threaten taking it away is yet another fucked up thing I never want to do and i hope i never have children so you never get the chance to do that to them. oh lindsey let get a dog, oh now you (a 10 year old) won't walk them well lets throw them away. oh lindsey here's a rabbit you love rabbits well guess what even though you're 10 years old i'm making you responsible for a whole living thing. oh no why are you mad at me years later oh no why do you face constant guilt as an adult about some dumb fucking rabbit. stupid fuckinghhhhh it makes me so mad. you can't promise things and use them as threats you cant promise things and take them away you cant promise to care for a living being and act like it's disposable. it's a dog its not a toy its not an accessory you cant abandon them when you are perfectly capable of giving care. you're not even a caretaker you walk them once or twice a day and maybe feed once. you have never seen a vet bill in your life you've never seen a medication in your life you've never trained in your life you don't know anything about my dogs. you never listen you never want to help. if i get the chance i will be getting them away from you. i never want to see you own another animal i never want you to discuss my animals with me again.

[dolciume]

going to the mall and my friend invited her disgusting awful out of a man boyfriend. sigh the whole day is literally ruined but i’d like to go for the food court and car ride.

she also invited him to my aunts 4th of july party when i invited just her. i hate lying about stupid little shit but i’m gonna have to tell my friend my aunt said no. even tho is not true, auntie did not say no. never asked my aunt. bc i don’t want to spend my holiday with him. the 4th is beautiful memories for me… i don’t want some fucking loser getting in between this… not that it matters since i wanted my friend to be there. realizing i can’t be best friends w her and only close friends … painful 💔

not to mention i’m 5th wheeling two couples… of course she didn’t think of this… and i’m not such a fuckinf faggot freak id be ljke IM THE ONLY SINGLE ONE… single for many reasons. ugly inside and out should sum it up. i’m an extremely intense person. and i’m physically unironically 2/10. i don’t rate people in those scales just myself. no one hates my body more than my mother does. fucking HATES that i’m fat and have a neck hump. fucking HATES and finds me disgusting (has used that word before) and repulsive. i honestly think she won’t care too much if i die. like yes but the version of me that isn’t real anymore. my child self my teenage self. adult me doesn’t appeal to her and is a fucking confused faggot cunt ugly repulsive bitch is how she sees me.

this turned into a rant. it doesn’t matter. i need to be crazier on this blog.

to balance out i want to remember the babies i worked with. i quit that job bc my director had an irl tantrum on me and no one defended me. i miss those babies. their beautiful faces and silly strong personalities. they are my angels and forever in my heart they will be there. no one can take away our precious 3 months together. :( best job i ever had. i quit bc i have bare minimum self respect. not everyone has that.

despite my feelings of misery and loneliness and being a huge fucking loser - ahem. i loved those children and did my damnedest. i’m glad i was with them.

another nice thing, we have all kinds of sweets at home lately. ^_^ love it.