#im gonna feel like an asshole if i missed someone im gonna be real…

[ghost-bard]

Can i say something guys.

Even if red team isn’t actually cursed theyre cursed in spirit LMAO

Like i enjoyed watching actually try and like doing their espionage type stuff but like. They just were so unfortunate w the timing of the other teams deciding to get them 😭 like it was just plain demoralizing to watch them try as much as they could while still doing what they wanted only to get knocked down like constantly

AND LIKE I SAID I SAID EARLIER NO HATE TO THE CC’S THE EVENT IS SO COOL AND TODAY WAS ONLY DAY ONE GUYS

I am really curious tho what was red team like from other povs cuz i p much stuck to slimes stream lmao

[orcelito]

Did the stuff exchange 👍 that sucked 👍 wahoo

[menofprogress]

Here are some of my hot (or maybe tepid) takes about arcane:

(Under the cut bc i got wordy lol)

-the show could have used another season or like at least 5 more eps per season. Thats not a dig at the creators bc we know they were already forced to cut stuff out, but imho it shows a little, esp in s2. I fully believe Sevika was one of the biggest victims here, i genuinely believe she had an arc in s2 act 3 that was fully cut. And her being one of the biggest defenders of zaunite independence also means that by cutting her they basically gutted that storyline.

-the sheer lack of time with some characters also means that i simply did not connect with some of them, which made their deaths kind of underwhelming. Like i gasped when loris, isha, elora and sky died, but i cant say i was actually sad. That might be a me problem, but i need a little more time and info on a character to feel literally anything about them.

-on the other hand: we need to accept that sometimes background or minor characters are just that. No they werent robbed, no they werent underwritten, theyre simply not that important and thats OK bc theyre characters, not real people. You dont need to give equal attention to all characters for it to be "fair". And i sometimes feel like ppl think they HAVE to bemoan this. esp when its a female character a lot of fans talk about "sidelining" or "theyre using them as a plot device!!" Buddy, sometimes characters are literally just there to move the plot along, thats not inherently a social justice issue. (Ive seen this the most with sky and lest and like.... sorry, they were never gonna be more important than this. They can still be your fave, but just bc you wanted to see more of them doesnt mean they were sidelined for nefarious reasons)

-however sometimes the problem isnt that a character got too little screentime. S2 is a perfect example to show you can do a lot of character work in less time (viktor, ekko) and little character work with a lot of screentime (vi, sorry). Viktor and ekko were missing for entire episodes and managed to have full character arcs and vi was kind of there the whole time, but stuff just happened to her? Like she does do a lot, she looks incredibly cool, i liked watching her scenes, but her motivations, her goals and her values are ALL over the place. I love caitvi, but it did kinda ruin vis integrity when she threw away core beliefs (she becomes an enforcer, she temporarily agrees to kill jinx, she participates in chem warfare against the undercity) for cait. Hmmmmm.....

-i wasnt that deep in the fandom in s1 so i might have simply missed it or i might just not be following assholes, but the "jayvik shippers hate mel" thing never made sense to me. NOT because i dont believe it, bc i sure as hell have seen enough mlm shippers be fully misogynistic or racist, but the way ppl (mainly meljay shippers lbr) talked about jayvik shippers being horrible to mel like it was this HUGE thing confused me bc i personally have seen like 2 fanfics where they horribly mischaracterise mel to be a viktor-hating bitch, but thats it? Like, was that an actual problem or was it ppl deliberately misunderstanding stuff? (One specific example: ive seen someone accuse jayvik shippers of being misogynists bc they accused mel of manipulating jayce and sidelining Viktor. Which is a canonical thing happening in the show. Like ofc you can word it in a way to make mel a horrid evil bitch, im sure there are ppl who DO hate mel and think she is an evil succubus, but this person in particular just seemed upset about the fact that ppl were talking about things that mel canonically did.) This is a genuine question, bc from my pov after s1 mel was one of the fan faves and jayvik wasnt THAT big of a deal until s2. I literally saw a hundred times more jayce hate than i did mel hate, but maybe thats not the universal arcane fandom experience? Like, again, i HAVE seen (for lack of a better term) fujoshis get wildly hateful towards female characters in the vicinity of their ship, i was just pleasantly surprised that the arcane fandom seemingly DIDNT. So the unrestrained resentment and bitterness of some fans after jayvik "went canon" caught me off guard.

-the reason i ask this: i saw a video where someone talked about some rando homophobic timebomb fans who apparently resented caitvi for getting a happy ending instead of jinx and ekko. So i commented "i s2g het-shippers act like theyre an oppressed group sometimes" to which another person responded "well jayvik fans were really shitty about mel, soo...." and i was so fucking confused bc what? The video wasnt even about mel or jayvik?? They just heard me make a snarky comment about het ships and immediately felt called out. But yeah thats what prompted my question.

-i dont get the thirst for the fish man. I get the salo thirst even less. I cheered when jayce bonked him.

-i actually dont want jayce or viktor to appear in future projects. While i love the idea of them being ~not dead~, i think any further canonical storylines about them would devalue the extremely emotional ending they had. Like, imagine if they only bring one of them back?? What then?? No, i actually prefer post-canon fix it fanfics in this case. (Cough cough esp bc this way i can still plausibly delude myself into them being actually canon and yall KNOW it probably would not stay this way if their story continues)

[diazpatcher]

watching 7x07

starting the ep off with Maddie facing another reminder of doug is evil but real

the 118!!! Buck and Eddie working together to save the baby, something about that is so symbolic

ATHENA MOMY

God i hope that assholes dead. HE LEFT HER TO DIE??? god i hope he dies.

HENREN MOMMYS 🥰🥺 good of them to forbid tablets while eating so slay of them.

Henren actually fighting for Mara is so!! they want her to be save and okay 😭 also denny knowing is!!!

oh, Marisol, Eddie and Chris date is interesting.... Like what is,,, im hmmm. Chris my beloved<3

"not to late to leave her now" OKAY EDDIE

the WOMAN LOOKS LILE SHANON HOLY SHIT WE GOT FLASHBACKS????????? OMG IM!!!! EDDIE MY BABYGRL. "You okay you look like you've seen a ghost" Yeah duh cause he did.

Hen being sooooo careful with Mara and sharing with her without expecting anything back,,,, She is such a good mom 🥺🥺🥺 god i love henren as parents <3 also Denny is the best big brothers out there <3

i really hope they find Maras brother so that Henren can have 3 babys<3

the way maddie keeps tearing up but keeps it together because she has learned to live with her trauma!!!! and knows how to cope my sweet girl ❤️ but also the fact that she feels guilty😭

Oh, they separated Mara from her brother. Its so wrong. the father is a dick bag.

Ohhh the actor of the nurse is!! (dr. austin<3) he is still hot like he was in the resident.

"my husband tried to kill me. almsot succeeded" but he didnt because Maddie didn't give up !!! 🤧

Maddie facing Catherine, seeing what could've (what was her) been her. is insane to me. the storytelling. the parallels the emotions.

Ohhh eddies back to watch shanon 2.0. interessting. lmao he is so nervous help 😭 like a young boy facing his crush 😭💀 her humor!! the way they have the same actress act like shannon but not quiet like her is so !!! this episode is so cinematic i live it!!!

"girlfriend maybe?" "oh no, just me and my son" OH EDDIE what about Marisol. HMMM.... So so so interesting SHE GAVE HIM AN S SHAPED KEY CHAIN? SHANON.

Henren using the mommy and me Club to find Maras brother. The dad is a capital D dick. the mom is okay she gets it.

Maddie listening to the call again and again and again. is so... hmmm. her experience really is there! she knows something wasnt right.

"I have been the passenger in that car" oh. oh maddie 😭

STOP CHIM IS SUCH A LOVING HUSBAND SO SUPPORTIVE. I need someone like this fr fr.

oh the abusive man STALKED HER!!!!

oh Catherines mom 🥺 the pain she must be feeling. the horror.

Rick is so funny help. "Hi

EDDIE CHEATED?????? HELP WHAT THE FUCK. HE IS FUCKINZ HIS WIFES DOPPELGÄNGER WHILE HE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP????? OH THATS INTERESTING "catholic guilt to cheating pipeline" interesting. wait huh? is she not real? OH MY GOD. HE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT????? WHAT THE FUCK. what an interesting story line for Eddie.

The abuser having a wife that ran from him, makes me think. hes looking for a new mother. similar to maybe the way Eddie is looking for a new mom for Chris?. maybe something about obssesing about the wrong thing? 👀 (not that Eddie is the same amount of creep as Kyle)

Maddie you're a genius. the way she KNEW that he was gonna be in the park? slay.

Rick desprately trying to find him. I love him.

the 118, injured man with a gun.... hm..... that has never gone well for them. Chimney!!!! OH THE WAY THAT MAN SAVED THE BABY!!!!

"THENA this is the guy!!!" BUCK AND HIS MOMMY<33333

wow this ep was a Rollercoaster, i love it.

oh the guilt Catherines feeling is, is omg. my heart breaks. BOBBY WITH THE BABY STOOOOOP HE IS SO DAD SHAPED 😭

NASH, OH GOD THE THEORY IS REAL. AMIR KNOWS BOBBY FROM MINNESOTA IDK WHO SAID IT BUT YOU WERE RIGHT!!!!!

the mom coming bye with Maras brother😭 what a kind hearted woman i love her 😭

OH THE WAY TYSON RAN INTO HER ARMS 😭😭😭 IM SOBBING

BUCK YOU SEXY MAN. OH BuckleyDiaz family dinner🥰🥰🥰 oh oh no:( Buck is on babysitting dinner 🥹 missed that!!!!

Maddie finally finally being at peace with her past🥹

BABY JEE 🥹 but shes not a lil baby anymore 😭😭😭

oh Chim looks so proud at Maddie.

WAIT A DAMN MINUTE EDDIE IS ON A DATE WITH SHANNON 2.0.

[theodoraflowerday]

young royals s3e6 episode reaction (the last one 😭)

I'm gonna miss this I'm so emo

ok let's go

simon's shaky eyelid I'm gonna rip my foot off

"it feels like you two are never truly over" SPEAK ON IT FELICE

wille's voice breaking I'm gonna start fucking sobbing

"I have to take responsibility for my own problems, I can't drag him down with me" bro I'm gonna kill myself

fuck I can't believe that's the last title

I'm gonna start sobbing ohohoho

he's gonna skip??? when has simon ever skipped in the whole series?

oh sara baby no

MICKE????? YOU RAT

oh, just the car

sure give them the car. that makes up for all the years of abuse. totally.

this conversation is so important help me

"see? she'll be fine" god I hope she will be fine

oh my they look all so nice in the sunlight. wille w the sunglasses. love the look

OH HE'S ASKING ABOUT SIMON STOP IT

haha yea called it

but why tell them like that? like why not call for a full student meeting and tell everyone? so unprofessional

if vincent doesn't Shut the FUCK Up oh my god

if he talked to me like that I'd be throwing fists on fucking god

also stella and fredrika need to calm the fuck down. go to new york then assholes

AUGUST?????

this man cannot be serious. sobbing like that over a school. be so for real. go hate crime someone if you're so upset. fuck

NILS VINCENT AND AUGUST HUGGING WTF

god that's so heartbreaking

fuck them rich kids but that's so heartbreaking

that's so weird. thinking abt simon moving away. it doesn't feel nice.

also rosh and ayub in full panic mode @ simon moving away... not great

NORWAY????

kristina's gonna croak isn't she

NOT THE BOOK OH MY GODJJGLDJFLDKG

chorrito pa las animas aaayyyyyyyyy

NOT NILS AND VINCENT GIVING AUGUST THEIR CONDOLENCES ABT HIM BEING THE SPARE LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO

oh my god that's goddamn hilarious

"you wanna be close to the royals, you don't wanna be one" "which is great for us actually" I can't stop fucking laughing jflsfjlsjflskf

SCREAMS OH GOD

oh god

"I feel empty. and scared" wonderful I love this honesty let's keep it going

oh tgjslfkslf HENRY IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU

sure, talk abt the booze and the drugs, that sure will make simon want to come to the party

NOT DOING SHOTS WITH THE HOUSEMASTER I'M GODKGKDLGJDLSKSFKDLFJ

THATS SO FUCKING FUNNYKGKGKFLGKDLGK

baby worm wille is my fav wille

I'VE LOST THE LOVE OF MY LIFE /WHAT/

/WHAT DO YOU MEAN WITH THAT WILHELM/

WHAT THE FUCKFJGKFKFLFKFLFKFLFK

OHMTOG

oh also he acknowledges he's gonna send krissy to an early grave. committing regicide is so based.

anyway LOVE OF MY LIFE?????????

does this track for an endgame or no?

oh god

FOR YOU

PARTY PRIIIIINCE LMAO

oh my god

MALIN????

JSKFJSKFKDGKDKGKKDKGKF

that was some king shit

"and I know erik did worse things in his day" understatement of the century

HE INVITED MALIN AND JOAKIM IM LOSING MY WHOLE DAMN MIND

JSKDKSKFKDLGIFLGKDLGKDLGKDLGKDLGK

king wilhelm fr

they're all so cute

seriously rosh and ayub are damn good friends

HE'S GOT THE FAKE GRASS IN HIS HAND

NOT REVOLUTION IM GON A LILLNYSLEFBFLGKDLFKD

ICANTKDL DELSIRBWIT TTJID

FUXIKC

they brought rosh and ayub I'm gonna cry

do you think rosh and stella are gonna kiss

oh

august looks like a mafia boss

WHAT ARE YOU APOLOGIZING FOR

oh. yeah. that was shitty. I also feel a lot of sympathy for that

oh fuck me I'm watching this in the train

"you know erik loved you more than anything else? the video with you two guys. it wouldn't have meant a thing"

I'm trying so hard not to sob but there's tears streaming down my face i

but I have stronger and more important feelings for you oh my fucking god I'm gonna start sobbing for real

im gonna cry

that was the best day of my life oh my god I'm making a scene in this train what the fuck

NOT THE HAIR

IM KILLINGMTSLEF

IS MY RADAR TOTALLY OFF AKFUSKFJDK

oh

they're totally drunk

NO WAY

NO WAY OH MY GOD THATS SO CUTKEJFLSJGSLFJDLFK

WHAT THE FUCKCJFLDKGKD

WHY WOULD WE LAUGH. WE'LL FIX THAT YOU'RE A STUD YOU CAN HAVE WHOEVER YOU WANT

BRO. VINCENT. NO.

AUGUST'S FACE IM GONNA KMS THEYRE SO CUTE STOP IT

oh don't go after her asshole you're drunk

HE KISSED HER WHY

OHHHHH

OH FUCK

YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH THE PERSON YOU BECOME WHEN YOU'RE WITH ME AND THATS NOT THE SAME THING OH FUCK

HE'S OFFERING TO RUN AWAY???

wille fully has no game huh. august did that immediately, wille is still all ooo im gonna be king my GOD ELOPE WITH SIMON

oh

FUCK SJFLANFJDLFKS

IT'LL PASS IS THIS A *JOKE*

big fan of the random two people with wille just BOLTING when they saw simon. like oooooohoho no this is NOT something we're doing tonight

FORGET WHAT

JUST FOR ONE NIGHT?

oh my god

WE'RE WORTH IT

I don't think I'm gonna take that. like I can't deal with that

no they're not doing that

they're not singing that song they're just not

no

I don't know why I thought it'd be a good idea to watch this in public transport

I thought it would be us

it was us and when it was us it was good

STELLA AND FREDRIKA LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO

FELICES FACE AND HER COVERING UP HER EARS IKFJLDJFLDKFLDKGDLKG

oh

ohh

WILLE'S SONFLSKF

DONT TAÑLTOME

I IN SJAMVLES

EVERYTHING IS FSKE

AUGUST HAS A PICTURE WITH HIM AND ERIK TOOB

oh wow that just broke me

:O

WHAT

THEYRE SINGING SIMON'S SOGN

akwñskd

im shakingb

that is such a nice tradition for the graduating class. I really like that.

KRISSY AND LUDWIG? ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

oh yeah congrats august

why is kristina smiling is she happy abt her son going after the love of his life?

"even though it was sad" actually lmao

IT WASN'T IN VAIN DUMBASS

I NEVER GAVE UP ON US I GAVE UP ON THE ROYAL FAMILY

EHAJFJSF WILJELNW HAT TUECJCL

I HOPE YOU HAVE A NICE SUMMER WHAT RHEUFKCJSLFJDLFK

I'm gonna cry lmao

FELICE ISN'T GOING TO NEW YORK?

OH THEYRE GONNA RUN AWAY TOGETHER

YOUNG ROYALS' GREATEST LOVE STORY EVERYONE

oh my god

oh my GOD

oh man it took one (1) thing she didn't like for krissy to go back to a stuck up bitch

however, I just SCREAMED

there couldn't be any other way now could it

it couldn't have been any other way. truly.

I feel like I can't breathe but in a positive way

LET HIM GO OH MY GOD

omg August's face. bro knows he's fucked

YOU'RE NOT RUNNING AFTER A CAR WILHELM I SWEAR TO GOD

HE GOT OUT OF THE CAE

oh my gOF

OGMT

DID YOU CO IT FOR ME

NO ID DID IT FORNME

I WANT TK BE WITH YOU SIMON

ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OVER ME - WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK

NSODKS

DIMLNSNFSCE

SIMON'S FSCE

VESCHEING

IM CRYING

JSL

THEYRE NOT DOING THIS TOMME

NO THEYRE OT

NOSROP

THE GIRLS

og

OG fod

the 4th wall break

no

fuck

fuck

fuck me I'm sobbing

god

what an honor it's been to love this show

thank you thank you thank you

[greatunironic]

Hi! So, maybe someone already asked you about this, im not sure, but I was reading The most remarkable thing once again, and it got me thinking, having in mind too your latest series Eating in the underworld, and I guess The other hand knocking too, in a way, but, like, you write a lot about grief, and loss. Or, like, it seems like is a common theme on your writting, and makes me wonder, is it a conscious decision? Why do you choose to write about that? it's just because as a writer, you like to explore the entire spectrum of human emotions, or there are more personal reasons? No need to answer that if it's too personal! Im just curious, thats all

It's kind of a risky emotion to write about, if you think about it, because anyone would usually associate it with pure, unfiltered angst, but somehow you manage to write about grief and make it feel healing, if that makes any sense? and it's so easy to relate to it, like Steve missing Hopp even before he's gone on Remarkable, or the way Steve's absence changes Robin and Dustin on Underworld, and the loss of innocence and missed chances on The other hand. It's like, you write about life, real life, but you never make it feel hopeless, or too much. it's just, i dont know. As I said, it's healing, in a way Anyway! It's perfectly okay if you dont want to answer this on public, i was just curious. In any case, I will see you on the comment section of your next fic! take care of yourself!

apologies for this getting lost in the inbox shuffle, but here's a (hopefully semi-coherent) answer for you!! (gonna put it under a cut tho because we might get a touch heavy)

part of it is because i do find it interesting, and the whole of human experience interesting; and grief is something that's there but never quite talked about, you know? we kind of sweep it and death under the rug even though it's something that we are all going to have to face at some point, in some way.

and i've talked before about how i have a lot of experience with cancer in my life (specifically with my partner and parents as survivors, with other family members lost to the disease), and i think a lot of my writing circling back to grief is because of that — especially my partner's, because i was relatively young for my mother's cancer + my father's was quite early and very contained, but my partner's second cancer i sat with them as they were diagnosed and attended chemo and had to sort of wrap my mind around this being a part of our lives going forward.

so writing about grief kind of became something i wanted to explore because it was this weird part of my life.

however more specifically to the story of "remarkable" — about six months before i started writing it, i unexpectedly lost my cat, who i'd raised from a baby, who predated my relationship with my partner, who kept me sane during grad school, who traveled across america with me twice — who was, for better or worse, in my heart, my son and the great love of my life. he was orange, and he was an asshole, and he was perfect, and he was eleven, and i had to make the decision to end his suffering when he experienced a massive stroke that left him almost entirely paralyzed.

i could barely write, after it happened. couldn't do a lot of things, actually. but writing "remarkable" was coming out of that fog, and finding joy again, if that makes sense. it was a way for me to tell myself that i was going to be okay, when i was ready, and that i would be okay in the future too. it wouldn't be great and it wouldn't be perfect, and i would never be the same person i was before, but i could be okay again.

(and i am! i still cry sometimes when i think about him but we're also starting to visit shelters and talk about adopting so!!)

[svnflowermoon]

hi

remember the anon from a few weeks ago who asked for advice about a girl called M? an anon with the emoji 🫀? well idk if u have already guessed but that was me

i told M that i like her and that if she didnt like me back she must tell the truth and she said ‘thats the thing, i dont know how i feel about you’ and then i told her i would wait

now i dont know what to do except wait, and like i can do that but like im just scared and we’ve been thru so much shit over the years between us and i feel like M probably doesnt like me the same way and thats why she said she doesnt know as in i dont completely know if i dont like you…..

like we used to be best friends and then we werent and like she smiles at me and ive heard that she wants a girlfriend, but i’ve also heard she likes this other girl who is super pretty like M and like im not that pretty and what if she is holding a grudge against the stuff i said last year to her???

like ive been depressed and sad and cried so much over her before, and missed her so much, and ive felt the whole spectrum of emotions over her, and i really care about her and i worry about her and i love her but what if she’s never felt like that towards me??? what if what she felt about me was a silly crush she had for like two months?

what if she leaves me waiting for months or years and then tells me and then ive spent my whole high school loving her and she didnt?? then what?

oh my god im ranted so much im so so so sorry you had to read all of that but i really needed to tell someone who would understand?? cos like non of of my friends have experienced desperate lesbian yearning and its like so hard cos they like guys and i dont

i just like her so much and i dont know what to do if she doesnt like me

again im so so sorry

omg hi!! i'm gonna be honest i'm oblivious so i hadn't figured out that it was you 😭😭

oh my god that's such an awkward situation like there's really nothing you can do except wait for her omg

i hope she likes you back omg, also about the whole thing abt the other girl, there's a chance she just has a flirty personality and has trouble figuring out who she likes fr bc she flirts so often?? idk i wouldn't know i can't flirt for the life of me. (also i'm sure you're gorgeous don't put yourself down like that angel <333)

considering you're feeling so strongly about the whole thing, i'd recommend making sure you spend time with your friends. try not to isolate yourself, just because you're waiting for her doesn't mean you have to put your whole life on pause. genuinely like spending time with friends will boost your mood sm, it won't fix it entirely but it will help you remember that you have other people in your life that are there for you <33

if she leaves you waiting for ages and then tells you that, then honestly she's an asshole 😭 if she didn't feel at least SOMETHING for you, she would probably want to let you know as soon as she could to save you too much hurt. ofc idk cause idk her irl but personally when i don't like someone i want to break that to them as soon as i can. so i think she probably likes you, it might not be as much as she did before or as much as you like her but i bet she likes you

don't feel bad for ranting omg never feel bad for ranting it's okay <333 the desperate lesbian thing is so real lmao i totally get you, please feel free to update me on whatever happens <33

[carmenized-onions]

these are my thoughts

-the amish story?? we're starting with the amish story???? so you want me to bawl my fuckin eyes out, is that? i hate you onion.

-its been 0ERR minutes. damn right. feel the burn carmen berzatto, feel it!!!

-i actually had to switch tabs and play the countries of the world quiz cuz ohhhh my god carmy talking to chef david is never an easy pill to swallow

-mikey called me? i have been officially adopted into the family? im all warm inside. but as a middle child, i am offended. deeply. we also care for people and have to like keep the peace! also ouch, id feel so guilty as a baby getting the big bro attention when the big bro's actually baby is being left on read.

-oh shit oh shit we're back ahhhhhhhh please chef david/carmy needs multiple warnings. also so real so real so real receiving praise from someone who always criticized you is not as sweet as you thought it would be. actually somewhat repulsive.

-i mean,,,, great introspection there carm, but maybe like 0ERR minutes too late buddy

-"The only fuckin’ good thing in my life" ....okay maybe i change my vote and i support tony folding. im folding.

-“Hey asshole—” Richie stops, when he sees David. “Ah. You’re needed, Chef Carmen.” dont back down richie dont back down call him out in front of the stupid exec he put over everyone else. also did you notice in season three no one said 'cousin' once? not onceeeeee. carm deserved it, but damn did it hurt. please heal me onion

-“Want your coffee?” He corrects, like stroking your ego will make you fold. It does. ehehehehehe yeah yeah ill do itt

-fuck me this is dark.

-“Cousin get my fucking bag, now!” she called him cousin.

-ummmm can this be an x richie jerimovich now actually?

-carmen is definitely the joke. i know im tony, but id be on my hands knees for her too.

-onion. “And no one wants you to acknowledge that you’re the guy— Like you can take the compliment, but you can never say ‘I know, I’m doing it on purpose.’” how have you managed to capture the human experience of being the dependable people pleaser into words and such good words????? i could only wish to be as good at writing as you are. profession well chosen.

-'You laugh, and it quickly turns into a groan as you try to come up with something. “I uh… Oh! I fuckin’ hate the nickname ‘Jack’, that’s something.” “Oh?” He leans forward, teasingly intrigued— You’ve thrown him a bone, because you’re the guy, too. He’s able to focus on this in lieu of himself.' ahahahah i knew this was coming, if she liked jack it would've stayed jack but noooo its chip! i been waiting for this one, turn it up! also yes so 'the guy' of her, turning the convo to you only to help out the other guy cuz the guy never wants to be the center of attention unless its actively helping someone out ugh i love you onion

-i think im gonna try to minimize the comments, its like ive got one after every sentence, jeez cool it dude.

-sydmikey crossover kind of , wow. its hitting me. i wonder what they wouldve been like together.

-'and neither of you know this is a lie, yet.' actually fuck you onion.

-shit forgot the richie carmy fight was happening right out the window???????????????????????????

-lol. bear in the freezer 1.0

-you're making me miss mikey even tho im reading mikey but damn i miss my bestie and he should be enjoying the bear with us rn (even tho the bear is shit rn 0ERR but like if it wasnt)

-“If that’s what getting a star takes, I don’t want it.” oh fuck. us squidink truthers out here winning.

-'Richie’s a good dad. You will never find a good time to tell him this.' i know what you're referencing and i despise you for it. tony will tell him.

-'“Yeah, well you need to read Mark Wolynn’s ‘It Didn’t Start With You.’” Richie’s got lists of books now, instead of zingers. They somehow hit harder.' they hit very hard my man, very hard. #teamfuckeveryonebutrichie

read the rest so quick that i felt like i lived it. i hate you. you write so well. my best friend died dude ,you gave me a best friend who knew me and saw me and you killed him???

those are my thoughts. ive been reading this on an off since 10am, it is now almost 5pm. i was meant to be studying. truly the best form of procrastination is reading your work. i hope my review, tho lacking, it welcomed.

-jude the dude <3

So fun fact before we get into this, I am currently at my parents house packing all of my shit because I move into my apartment next thursday!! Thank y’all for being patient w/ me. I would fucking love to get the next chapter out tommorow (and answer all my asks) but we’ll see. I really need to prioritize packing but I,,,,, don’t want to. 

So now as my form of break I’m answering asks between boxes LMAO. SO ANYWAYS LETS FUCKING YAP FOR A WHILE!!~

(also please continue to send in essays, I've got quite the backlog if you're worried I didn't get it!! I probably maybe did!! Just busy fucking couple weeks)

I was so excited to do “what are you amish” as an opener, the doc was literally named ‘amish’ in google docs. I knew it was gonna shoot everyone dead on impact. Speaking of doc names, you ever wonder what the docs of these chapters are named?

(mushy potato is still chapter 13 I just had edited it a lot and made a new guy) I’m a little unhinged. 

Anyways FEEL THAT BURN CARMY BABY!! This was such a distressing chapter. I think it only adds to the stress to have those really sweet (mostly) moments with Mikey and then go into actually on the fucking brink with Carmen. 

I APOLOGIZE TO ALL MY MIDDLE SIBLINGS!! I think we babies and middle kids should team up tbh to beat Older Sibling’s ass. Middle/Babies are 100% also taking weight on our shoulders and I feel like this is never appreciated, so I wanted to have Tony be a baby, cause it goes against that type of a Baby Sib never being the dependable one. 

I love my middle brother dearly though. I think I see trio siblings fall into the categories of

Oldest - On a hierarchy level, emotionally responsible for everyone. 

Middle - Often financially/emotionally responsible, keeps family connected.

Baby - On a personal level responsible for emotions! One-on-One dynamics, yknow?

At least, that’s where my family and coincidentally the Berzattos seem to fall. I have to stop yapping about this let’s MOVE ONNN

SOOO REAL to get praise and not feel good. It’s so wild. It’s such a wild experience to get the praise you always wanted from someone and then realize immediately oh what the fuck i don’t give a fuck what you think and quite frankly i should’ve never been trying to impress you?? It’s such a weird human experience. Can a psychology major explain this to me. 

0ERR MINUTES TOO LATE LMAOOOO— But yeah, from what I noticed, some seemed to fold after seeing how fucked the rest of Carmen’s Friday went. I feel like it also completely changes the feeling of Something to Do. Should I do a poll again? Actually no I wanna do a different poll hold on…

RICHIE! NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT? NEVER GIVE UP!!! I did notice the lack of cousin in S3, which completely made sense and hurt deeply, however I live in a world where I wanted everyone to at least a little bit understand each other. 

-ummmm can this be an x richie jerimovich now actually?

This is the poll I wanna do. Because I’ve seen a lot of RiChip or SquidInk truthers coming to the light. What the fuck would Mikey’s ship name be actually? Mikchip? McRib. What? 

You had me blusshinn with quoting the guy scene!! Thank you for saying so. I was fucking tweaking like ‘is anyone going to understand what the fuck i mean when i’m saying this or do i just need to go to therapy’. Turns out we all do. So. That’s good. THANK YOU!! I 

WAITTIN FOR THIS ONE!! CHIP ORIGINS!! I was considering having the Chip origin be another scene that would essentially be ‘off screen’ but it just felt so apt to do here. I actually had an entire other conversation planned for Mikey/Chip to have here but it just didn’t suit them. I’m so glad I went with this. And aufgh, my heart… It was always so fucking sad for me while writing this and switching back and forth between scenes and being like “GOD I DON’T WANNA GO BACK TO CARMEN/MIKEY ERA” they were both very difficult to write for different reasons. But going back to Carmen was always tough cause it was like oh yeah. Mikey’s dead by this one. And he’s not suddenly gonna come out and give someone a painful back massage. This SUCKS!!

I cooked with neither of you know this is a lie, yet. Everyone knows I caramelized the shit out of that one. 

More people need to fight in front of the restaurant. I want those bitches on STAGE. It’s so much more fun when it’s public and weird. 

Now are we a squidink truther or richip gang affiliate we have to choose one jude or are we doing a polycule because i dont know if that’s possible

LISTEN BE HONEST WHEN IS THERE A NORMAL TIME TO GO UP TO YOUR FRIEND AND BE LIKE “hey i think you’re a great father” WHAT? WHAT? I’D start fucking tweaking (crying in public), personally.

All the book reccs were brought to you by my family doctor prescribing them to me. I literally have them on a sticky note next to me. Shout out Dr V! Love you baby!! #teamfuckeveryonebutrichieanddrV

The last scene was very much so my full deep dive into time distorted grief poetry, which I fucking loved doing so thank you to everyone who enjoyed it (you!!). Bro, getting to the end was so hard because I also fell in love with best friend Mikey writing it and I was like man,,,, does he have to die though,,, can we like,,, make him into a marvel superhero or something and pivot genres?? I hate this,,, So listen Mr Storer killed him I just poured a fuck ton of salt in the wound. 

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR REVIEW, ALWAYS FEEL FREE TO SEND IN MORE THOUGHTS I LOVE TO GET THEM IT’S NEVER LACKING!!! Back to packing I go. I think I’ll tackle the desk next? Wish me luck brothers.

[skiinny-lovin]

i'm gonna ramble real quick about all the bad shit in my head.

tw ed maybe sh depression self hatred drugs

i lost about sixty pounds which is the most weight ive lost ever. a good chunk of that time i was living with a meth addict. which meant i was eating and sleeping on a methheads schedule plus he was kind of an asshole so it helped me hate myself and i was working on my feet a lot. that was almost two years ago now. since then ive had a best friend. it was an intense all consuming wonderful and terrible friendship. i made the decision to end the friendship bc i couldnt put myself first. i always wanted to put her first above everything and in some ways it made me resentful. and that wasnt fair to her. it was fair to either of us so i made the best decision i could. now im pretty sure shes trying to get back in contact with me after MONTHS of no contact and its freaking me out. ive started to gain weight i gained about ten pounds. and i hate myself for it. i hate myself. its to the point that i miss the old roommate. which feels a little like saying i miss meth but thats a weird parallel to a drug ive never personally had. i am in pain. all the time mentally and physically and my apartment is eviction level messy (i live in my grandmas basement so im safe). i get out of bed to work bc i have to and to play video games when my bf pesters me but i want to get up and do things. i want to have that random burst of energy and clean to my hearts content but it never comes. i have no energy and no motivation and i feel like i cant do anything or even think. i cant even finish a thought they go in and out of my head so fast its like im not thinking at all. but i cant turn it off unless im dead tired and i get up at 5:30am for work now and im so tired. i just want it all to stop. my head is so noisy i just want it all to stop. just let me sleep. let me be a person. the only time its quiet is when im doom scrolling or rewatching greys anatomy for the gazillionth time. and i thought maybe if i just vomitted my thoughts on here and got it out of my head things would be quiet but they arent its like a screeching whisper so far away but still there i can still hear it. it wont go away and im scared the only way to make it go away is to fill my head with sand like my last medication did. it got so bad i drove on the wrong side of the road for maybe a whole minute without even realizing. (it was a parking lot with no other cars but still) i hate everything and i want to cry and yell but i have no reason to. i want to quit my job that i started only a month ago i want to go out and get drunk and not have to think. i just need someone to help me. to take it all away and help me find the quiet. but even that i hate sitting in silence thats why i have greys playing all the time. i dont know anymore. just let me go

[thegoober010]

HELLO HELLO! Tis I!

A non-undertale related one today, which is,, insane for me.

Can you write father figure Shane stardew valley and his child who started drinking? And Shane is like “I know how that feels but you dont have to do this” and and and JADJFJFFJFJ

my daddy issues show whenever i request father figure writing because its always angsty

It can be a one shot or headcanons :3

-🐾

OMG GRAAAAA HEY PAW PRINT ANON I MISSED YOU SNOOKIE 😻😻!!!!

ALSO WOWZERS NON-UNDERTALE RELATED!!! SHOCKING!!(IM FOOLING AROUND TEEHEE) AND OMG OFC I CAN!!!

I WOULD NEVER EXPECT SHANE TO BE FATHER FIGURE MATERIAL BUT REAL !!!

IMA DO A ONE-SHOT AS A SORRY FOR MY ABSENCE GRAAAAAAAA!!

GENDER NEUTRAL READER AS USUAL <3!!

characters -> Father figure Shane (that's all-!!)

TW/CW -> substance abuse, mentions of depression, using alcohol as self-harm, and swearing- obviously-!

word count -> 2k/2192

On a serious note, if you or anyone you know is suffering from depression and is using unhealthy coping mechanisms such as drinking to try and drown their sorrows, please know that there is resources, there is help, and you/they are not alone. Please talk to someone or listen to them, because it's obvious you/they need it. Speak up before it is too late and leads to more risky behaviors. You're not alone and neither should they be. Things will get better, without happiness there won't be struggle, but without any struggle there will be no happiness. Things may be bad now, but it will turn out okay. You never know when your day of happiness shall come, so please don't give up and please do not use such unhealthy coping mechanisms, all they do is cause even more harm dear. Please talk to someone 💗.

now that, that's outta the way uhhhh onto the one-shot -!

"I know how that feels but.. you don't have to do this."

Just one more bottle. Just one more! What's the harm in one more drink? After all it's not like you're addicted or anything! No, no of course not! It's just for some temporary relief, it's not like you drink almost every damn hour of your life and waste your days lying in bed. Fuck. You allowed a soft sigh to escape your lips as you laid in bed on your side, hugging your knees and covering yourself with the blanket. You were in your room, per usual, you just finished your last bottle of alcohol yesterday and were hungover. You had a huge headache, you felt like throwing up and your stomach hurt, bad. You kept on over drinking even though you knew how it would affect you later, you kept drinking because it was your only escape from this shitty place. This town fucking sucked if we're gonna be honest, you felt like no one liked you, no matter what you did nothing was ever good enough, you wanted to leave, go explore but you couldn't you were stuck here due to the fact you don't have enough money to actually live yourself. Not only that but the people sucked. The mayor? He's absolute shit, making the farmer do all the work at this point. The people? Well some were nice but other times they're assholes if they don't know you well enough which sucked, a few were nice but... the town just sucked in general. All you could really do was just wallow in pity and drink your problems away, all your insecurities, it all felt like they were gone once you grabbed that bottle. You know it's wrong though, it hurt and tasted awful at first but you're slowly getting used to the feelings, sometimes you wonder if you should upgrade from alcohol to something more strong... maybe it'll help more? Right..?... fuck.

You groaned as you rubbed the side of your head. It hurt like hell. You had dark circles under your eyes, your hair was all messed up and frizzy, your lips were chapped and dry. It was quite obvious you weren't properly taking care of yourself, it could be spotted from a mile away. All of a sudden as you twist and turned in your bed you spotted your father, Shane, entering the room. You groaned and got up, quickly rubbing your eyes and fixing up your hair. "Hey, kiddo, you alright?" Shane asked. You nodded, giving him a quick hum as you put your shoes on, you didn't want your dad seeing you like this, you'd rather make a quick get away than let him see you not taking care of yourself because you know damn well he'd give you some long ass talk that you just don't have the patience to deal with today. "Mhm, I'll see you later dad." You mutter as you lazily tied your shoelaces, you quickly left your dad there with a concerned look on his face.

You made your way over to the Stardrop Saloon, as you made your way there you checked your pockets, quickly looking at the money you had to make sure you had enough to buy a beer or something of that sort. "Oh fuck yeah." You mutter as you saw you had just enough for one! You hummed as you made your way to the Saloon. You quickly threw the door open, making Gus raise a brow as he looked at you, he let out a small groan as he saw your face, even he was a bit concerned since you had been coming there more often. "The usual?" He asked earning a quick nod out of you. You sat down on one of the seats, quickly handing him the gold. He counted it before he raised a brow once he finished. "Uh, it's not enough, you're missing 2 gold." Gus said before he handed back the money, going back to cleaning a cup. You give him a confused stare. "The hell you mean I'm missing 2 gold? It's the same amount of money I gave you a week ago for a beer!" You exclaimed, you quickly lowered your voice as you saw the strange stares some of the people gave you. You cleared your throat slightly before shutting up. "Mhm, well the prices were raised recently." explained Gus, causing you to roll your eyes. "It's just 2 gold, come on! I'll pay the 2 gold tomorrow!" You negotiated, all Gus did was shake his head. "Sorry, I can't trust you to pay it tomorrow." Gus replied. You scoffed as you got off the chair. "Ugh.. fine, I'll see ya tomorrow I guess. Bye Gus." You grumbled as you made your way out the door. You let out a yawn, making your way back home.

You uttered curses under your breath as you made your way home. You leaned your head back, looking up at the stars as you followed the path back home. The sky was beautiful, sometimes you wondered what it would be like to be up there. Perhaps you would make a beautiful sky? Fuck, why are you thinking like this? Damnit. 'Just.. just focus on making it home' You thought to yourself. You turned your head to the side, taking notice of how the grass was blown ever so slightly by the gentle wind. Crickets chirped and the moon's light shun onto the grass and onto a lonely, empty bench. You stared silently at it for a while. 'A break from walking isn't so bad.' You though before making you way and plopping down onto it. You kept your hands in your hoodie pockets, your head leaning to the side as you looked up at the night sky. Your headache slowly started to come back as you finally tried to relax. Your eye-lids started feeling heavy, a soft sigh escaped as you your head leaned left, you felt so damn tired, you could just sleep right then and there. As you started to shut your eyes you felt a tap on your shoulder, causing you to almost immediately jump. "AH WHAT THE FUCK-" You yelled when you felt a hand on your shoulder, causing Shane to stare a bit shocked from your reaction. "Wow, calm down there kiddo." Shane said, taking his hand off. You let out a relieved sigh realizing it was just your dad. You clutched your chest as you calmed your breathing. "Ah- shit.. sorry dad you scared me there." You uttered.

Shane nodded in acknowledgment. "Is this spot taken?" he asked, obviously knowing the answer but wanting to check if his child was comfortable enough to let him sit near them. You shook your head. "No- uh no, sit if you want." You reply while rubbing the side of your neck awkwardly from the earlier exchange. You did not mean to scream that loud, damn. Shane nodded, quickly taking a seat next to his kid. You kept your obvious distance from him though, and it was quite obvious form the space between you two. "Uh, hey kid. Look, we gotta talk." Shane spoke softly, yet there was a hint of concern in his tone, he looked over at you. You raised a brow, you looked up at him for a bit before quickly looking away, leaning your head the opposite of where he was sitting. "Hm? 'Bout what?" You asked, crossing your arms and biting the side of your nails. "About your... problem with alcohol." Shane said bluntly, damn, just straight to the point. You almost choke on your spit, you continued to bite the side of your nails, your eyes grew wide before you shook your head, calming yourself down ever so slightly. "The hell are you talking about dad?" You ask, playing dumb. He furrowed his brows before placing a rough hand on your shoulder. "Don't act dumb, I know what you've been doing." Shane said, he was trying to be as calm as possible, his tone showed how worried he was though, you were going down the same path as he did before he had you, and he can't bear to see that. You tense up as his hand was roughly placed on your shoulder. You immediately pull his hand away. "THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM? I told you I'm not doing anything!?" You yell. You furrow your brows, your eyes squinting slightly as you did so. He seemed a bit surprised by your sudden snap. "Hey, calm down." Shane said calmly, he put his hands onto his lap, understanding you didn't want to be touched right now.

"Look, I know you want to act like nothing's happening, but I can tell when somethings wrong. You're my child, I don't want you hiding things from me, especially if it's making you make the same mistakes I did before." Shane explained, he stared at you while you looked away from him. "What are you talking about?" You ask, "I found the bottle under your bed kid. I know what you've been doing." Shane replied calmly. You immediately turned your head to look over at him, eyes wide. Fuck, you forgot to throw that bottle away. "Fffuck." You muttered, you rubbed the bridge of your nose in frustration, slouching as you rested your elbows on your knees. Your breath got shaky as you started to feel tears swell up in the inner corners of your eyes. Shane almost immediately noticed, he quickly placed a hand on your back, rubbing your back in circles. "Hey, hey, it's okay I'm not mad nor am I disappointed, okay? Hey it's okay." Shane reassured, yet you couldn't help but feel like such a disappointment. How could you be so damn stupid and let him find out? How could you let your dad down like this? You couldn't help but cry.

Shane took immediate notice, although he wasn't the best when it comes to comforting, especially comforting people, he tried. He pulled you into a quick embrace. Rubbing circles on your back as you cried. "Hey, it's okay. I'm not mad, I'll never be angry at you for something like this kid, so don't worry about whether I am or not, because I genuinely inly am not. I'm just worried on why you would look for comfort in drinking instead of telling me how you feel. Do you not trust me maybe?" Shane asked as he continued to keep you in a warm embrace. You shook your head. "No no no no it's not that... it's not that at all, I hic- just I.. I can't bring myself to.. to tell you any of the things I feel I-I feel bad doing that I don't want to burden you pa." You explain between sobs, trying your best not to make Shane feel like a bad father, because he wasn't he tried his best to stray you from the same path he had gone through yet here you were, going down the same road. You couldn't help but feel like you disappointed him because of that. Shane nodded in acknowledgment, he grabbed your cheeks and wiped away your tears gently with one hand while the other kept rubbing circles on your back in a calming motion. "Alright alright, I understand. But please, please for the love of god tell me whatever is happening, I don't want you to end up like how I did. You don't deserve that kiddo, you deserve to be happy. I learned from my mistakes which is why I never wanted you to go down the same path of addiction I went through. Please, whatever's happening tell me and I'll support you through it, not just because I don't want you to end up like how I did, but because I'm your dad. That's what I'm ment to do, help through difficult times. I know you can't help it but don't feel bad for reaching out to your own dad." He reminded you. "I love you kiddo, I'm your dad and I'm going to help you get through this alright, we'll get proper help because I don't want to lose you. I've gone through the same thing and this.. I know how it feels but... you don't have to do this kid."

You nodded in acknowledgment, it felt good to have him reassure you like this. It helped you realize how much you really mean to him. "Thanks dad..." You mumbled, your voice cracked ever so slightly, your voice also showed how tired you really were. You clung onto him. He sighed before picking you up like a child, although you were an adult he could kinda carry you easily. You let out a muffled sigh as you clung onto him, your eye-lids feeling heavier. You closed them and felt close to drifting off to sleep, but your headache would not allow you to. "My head hurts." You mutter. Shane nods in acknowledgment as he carries you back home. "Don't worry kiddo I'll give you medicine when we get home." Shane replied. You nodded slightly before giving him a hum of acknowledgment.

"I love you kid, and I'm going to help you no matter what"

[problematicfactive]

god your posts literally never miss bro. i’m sorry that people are sending you hate because you’re bang on the money every time. like i have all the love in the world to problematic fictives and acquaintance-factives but it really does hit different when you’re (/are strongly linked to) someone who’s a literal household name for all the wrong reasons, and i feel like you get treated very differently for it, regardless of how much you’re separated from your source.

are your dms open by any chance? cause i’d love to have someone to talk to about this stuff. if not, that’s all chill! (sincerely, politics factive who anoned you ages ago :~])

Hey! First of all, sorry about the wait to get this answered! I put everything on queue with 5 hours between it (im trying to move down to four or even three hours but I would need a really really steady flow of content for that) so I saw this ask at 10pm my time but because I already had two important posts in the queue the earliest I could get this was 10am my time.

Normally it wouldn't really matter but I know when your waiting on a personal answer to a question it sucks to have to wait 12 HOURS AND SEE ME MAKING POSTS BETWEEN THAT TIME (I'm so rude literally)

Now,

Thank you so so much for your continued support! I'm really happy to know that my messages are consistently reaching and reaching the audiences I want them to reach! I'm also glad my stance on the fictives and real relationships thing is reciprocated, cause I was really worried everyone was gonna think o was an asshole after that one.

And my dms are totally open! To everyone! Don't be afraid to reach out to me, Id be so happy to have someone to talk to on tumblr! People who come across me on discord are also more than welcome to say hi!

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

Buncha takes about Girl in the Fireplace (by someone that doesn't like it)

trying to give it as much grace as possible... there's some stuff to salvage, i think

visuals: again very beautiful episode aesthetically. even the spaceship sections which under rtd sometimes look a bit glip, with the right lighting in this ep, they rlly "pop" colonialism / hegemony: it's really uncomfortable but i don't know enough about reinette to go in depth with it. just gonna highlight the whole "this is the royal court and we're french" which is .... fittingly the point we're most asked to see reinette as a "Strong Female Character (tm)" / Girl Boss ... really sour. The Timeless Child Retroactive Continuity Bonus: the doctor's loneliness is made more poignant by being not "the last of their kind" but "the only one of their kind"

recurrent s2 themes: (this is what i was talking abt in theo ther post...) the clockwork fail because "it has not purpose now" perhaps this could be symbolism for monarchism in general, in face of a new, modern world? monarchies are well-oiled, intricate machines, socially speaking. they have rituals and customs and complex genealogies (hey, stowe armorial... amirite ladies... #crackin'heraldryhumor). but w/ the advancement of the productive forces, they "lost their purpose". the uk continues to have a monarchy to this day, but it is not longer the effective, purposeful machine it was was, rather it is an appendage or a relic of a more advanced system (bourgeois capitalism). one it has to cannibalize in parts to survive. also, the obvious visual of a highly-intricate "machine" that is made up of depreciated tech (clockwork). here's another: i saw an interesting meta that this ep could be read as a mirror of school reunion: in SR we see rose gripping w/ the reality of the doctor eventually outliving her, and here we see via reinette the doctor's pov of having to endure watching all their lovers "witter and die"except romana bc she just dumps him lol

i think this improves a bit on the seeming disjointedness of both eps and how disjointed it feels from the rest of s2.

relatedly, im also headcanon fix-ing it that this whole stint 10 pulls of "finding a mistress" (as it's very pointedly parallel'd in several scenes like him showing up late and "drunk" and rose being casted as the "nagging wife")(oooo resist negativity urges RESIST), is a direct example of him having a classic commitment-phobic panic, following SR.

there's an interesting theme/repeating motif in this ep (And later we see it repeated in moffat's seasons) about dreams and nightmares. (clockwork guys as reintte's+ the doctor as the clockwork's) idk how to tie it together as a Meaning or Theses yet but some interesting implications about it:

- the monsters we see in this ep are framed as nightmares (the doctor looks under the bed of kid!reinette to find the first clockwork robot)... what are nightmares? nightmares aren't real, but they also tell us something real about what we fear when awake. when these stories turn the imaginary into the real, there's a kind of symbolism in that "any fear we have can be faced and defeated" - kind of stealing this from another meta i read lol but: the monsters as fantasy vs grief as a reality, and the metatextual tension of having very real things like unavoidable death in a show with a "dashing, scifi hero that always defeats the scary monsters",,, - there's a negative asshole way to point out how similar reinette's "tragic ending" / arc is to a lot of... other storylines in moffat's who lol but i'm gonna try to spin it in the more positive, curious, "good faith" way: what is moffat trying to explore or say when he has characters always "missing" each other by the whims of time? sometimes by displacement, other time by "missing the timing" / "being too slow"? perhaps it is a call to be more prescient, and these are not just stories about tragedies... but cautionary tales about not taking actions / living life when one's called to live it (see river, amy, reinette, sally's friends,,,).

AND FINALLY, i had to really dig deep, but this is the one that salvages the episode i think, and why i wont *totally* discard it from my mental canon in the future: the traditional, surface interpretation of the ending is that it is "tragic" because ten doesn't go to reinette because she's dying/has died.... and once he has landed there, it is too late. the fireplace was tragically out of synch with his life....

however, let's push that further why doesn't he just go back a lil' earlier? why doesn't eleven just tell amy and rory to write a fake letter and put up a fake tombstone? the answer could be [bc time travel lore reasons!!].,,, BUT there's a potentially interesting and complex alternative reading: ten chose to not see reinette in her sickness. there was nothing impending him from seeing her again once he was back in the tardis. but much like with their companions that they can always locate if they wanted to, the doctor knows there's it's kind of pointless, kind of artificial, kind of cheating to manipulate time to get as much out of a human lifespan as possible. and it is a pointless act, because in the end he'll have to say goodbye anyway. and like he told sarah jane... "he just couldn't come back". so this this a self kindness he gives himself. to let reinette be just a fiery affair with a tragically beautiful woman he had "no control over" and could not comfort in her sickness/withering. perhaps unconsciously, this is a way he finds to not Deal with what the implications of this little "affair" means for his relationship w/ rose, and how he may have to make the same choice again in the future.

[rosyandraw]

Nena! I have too much to say I'm actually embarrassed to send you this long ask. I hope you don't mind..... 🥺

Well first Hihi your berry anon here 🫐🍒

How've you been doing? How's life treating you?

I honestly got super excited and happy the other day when I saw your post on my fyp so I sent that all over the place and I didn't even ask how you were.... So rude of me. 🫣

Now going into a deep discussion about nmfy... I need to tell you that I missed your writing you are so talented it always blows my mind. So it was a treat reading your fic again.

This chapter fuuuck you made me feel every single emotion Laurent had ... His love and his anger felt so real 😭 and August... Well I'm going to be 100% honest usually I don't care too much about characters that our narrator doesn't care much about (damen) even more if they are never there. Yet I really like your August, I liked him even more because fics often write him like a perfect person and to me he doesn't feel real. I get that to Lauren, who was a kid with a 10 years older brother, August was/is perfect but reading him like that doesn't feel real. So kudos to your August to be real, to have flaws, feeling beside loving Laurent etc.

About him and Damen..... I'm always with whoever tells the story so in this case Laurent and I'm with him I would also feel jealous as fuck and like I'm the second option. And I keep imagining what would happen if both needed Damen at the same time who would he choose what would happen. 🧐🧐🧐

I think Damen's reaction to laurent and Bastian was so good and in character for a Scorpio. Those assholes I love them and I hate them (my dad and my two best friends are 🦂♏)

I read your answer about him being an Scorpio and I agree completely but something funny to me is that if I didn't headcanon Vere/Akielos as Europe and they were from my side of the world Damen would be a Taurus and Laurent an Scorpio and that make sense to me too. Haha I hc them like you but I think it is funny that they still work the other way around.

Also I don't know how you feel about this but...... August is definitely an Aries... Hear me out he's a natural leader, a good fighter (the best Laurent has seen) willing to die for what he believes/loves. Impulsive with a chaotic maybe even obsessed personality while also makes him lose interest very fast. Aries and Scorpio (damen) are an amazing good/bad relationship because both are very intense. I think an Aries would def kill someone like August did very messy and passionately impulsive irrational and they would 100% call their Scorpio best friend a more dark strategist who won't panic because they are capable of killing too. But he would also be great at planning how to get rid of the evidence. They (we haha im an Aries too) are also kinda selfish which I feel August is like he thinks Damen hates him for mixing him in his secrets yet he keeps calling. But I'm suree you have you hc for him so please tell me everything even if you think he is a idk a cancer soo please tell me everything.

And to finish this crazy thing I saw what you did with Ancel and Berenguer and I loved it and I need moree. ... Pleaseeee I'm begging you 🙏🏼🙏🏼 just lil spoiler just a lil moment of them interacting 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Ps. I still remember all the kinky shit we used to talk for Damen and Laurent so for now Im gonna sit and enjoy the angst but please know that I'll come back with the evidence if we eventually don't get some of it for them hahahaha jkjk fk as you please with your fic you are such an amazing writer that I trust you.

Kisses kisses, thank you for sharing this update. Have a lovely weekend. 💕💜💕💜💕

B🫐

Omg I absolutely do not mind, this is the BEST. It’s so unbelievable that you care enough so please don’t apologise! 💕

I’m good thank you lovely, life has been good! New job, engaged, all that fun stuff haha. How’s life for you?

Gonna put the rest under a cut because teeny spoiler near the end and also so people don't have to scroll haha.

Noooo, you’re never rude my dear!!

Aww I’m so glad you love Auguste, I wanted to do something a bit different with him and I LOVE him personally, he feels very personal to me. I love flawed characters, all of my characters are a mess because people are messy you know?

Haha I know what you mean! I think Laurent’s insecurity is pretty huge. I think if Auguste and Laurent called at the same time Auguste would have to wait haha tbh. Damen would either call someone to go get Auguste or he’d go get Laurent and then they’d go get Auguste.

Damen is… well let’s just say we haven’t necessarily had Damen’s full reaction just yet. Or Laurent’s for that matter. Whoops!

Omg my dad is a scorpio too and so is my stepmother haha

Oooo that’s fun! They do work the other way around for sure. And don’t I love Auguste Aries! I didn’t’ go as in depth for Auguste’s tbh, the only real placement I put down for him was Scorpio Moon, not just as a counterpoint to Damen but because Scorpio is a pretty volatile moon sign imo. But Aries sun I absolutely vibe with 100%, everything you said is perfect and works well with Damen’s character too.

Haha I do have another little glimpse of Berenger/Ancel in the next part, idk if Berenger will ever make an actual appearance in this fic, but you will get a little more about what’s going on with him and Ancel! I promise!!

OMGGG stay tuned because I accidentally wrote something kinky and it wasn’t meant to be there but they just started talking and before I knew it I’d written a 2k kinky scene so. Erm. that is that!!! I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on it when I eventually edit the crap out of it and post haha

(Also Ancel/Berenger is a side pairing in my next fic too, it’s like 15k one shot but they are there and I thought of you when I wrote them in haha)

Thank you my lovely, I always love to hear from you 💕💕

[gayspock]

ok some thoughts

ok i do have complicated feelings on nat's death. firstly like air this one out rq: real fucking fuming that some ppl serioussllyyyyy are attacking freaking juliette for it, like? ok.... so your response to "its really fucked up that they killed nat who had finally found peace and was starting to overcome her addiction etc." was to attack the actress who has every right to leave a job if she wants to. i guess in other news 1+1=4.

but anyways sigh i have mixed feelings like.... i think theres a Part of me that kind of. ok. super unpopular opinion bc i know this ME & my own cyncism and "issues" or whatever & kinda shy to say this both bc it makes me look edgy as fuck but also like.... idk as someone whos had mental health problems, lets say, and has sort of resigned to this idea of like. oh i died a long time ago & theres a point in my life where i just think i stayed , and i dont think theres any way of going back, something something about living on borrowed time and it feeling meaningless . or whatever. stares at you pretend i didnt say all that. my point is i dont know i kind of- its bc i dont wannaaaa say ppl cant recover, that natalie was too far gone, this that and the other, bc i dont think you can make those judgements abt others (fictional or not) only yourself but... idk my point is. i fuckin get it when shes on the plane like that, as shes dying or just dying when she felt like she should have bc ever since its just been fucking horrible and well okay. sorry man i do kinda feel it even though i acknowledge its a shitty message.

i dont think it helps either that her "recovery arc" wadnt my favourite not bc i like. AGAIN im not saying this bc i dont think you can recover or get better its more like.. i was never a fan of the execution of it. i felt like it happened a bit too fast, and i would have preferred more scenes with natalie and lottie rather than natalie and lisa and natalie and the rest of the cult and i feel like that would have been more powerful to me bc the cult themselves feel kind of just... underdeveloped, and very much functional as a means for lottie and whats going on with her . i fully expect them to never be mentioned again after some point and to be completely ignored with the way this show has been going

and like i dont mind lisa that much but i dont now im kinda uninterested in characters that just get introduced and we immediately get SO much focus on them when theres, as i said , other more interesting and efficient ways to explore similar things (natalie and lottie a better dynamic for example) AND other stuff thats getting ignored big time.

like as an aside. i dont mind lisa as much BUT one example is also fucking walter and i dont like how theyre using him to kinda reduce misty to a bit of a joke AND cheap out on her own development (i think she can carry fine on her fucking own without him) but also bc he takes up so much runtime with his goofy little bits that just dont do it for me when again we're missing other shit from, like, FUCKING SIMONE FOR EXAMPLE whos barely been mentioned which is crazy. actually crazy. that she has barely been mentioned and tai's whole storyline has been ignored like that

but anyway even with lisa, i dont know- the whole thing with going to se her family, ugh... call me a jaded asshole, but like it just felt so. unsubtle. with the waythat whole scene was kinda executed. is that a cunt thing to say. but i dont know theres also other parts of the cult i just cant fuckin vibe with- i just feel like its so... clumsily done at times, and i cant quite articulate why i think that.

anyways . i get why a lot of ppl dont like natalies death in the end bc yeah it is kinda... a shitty message to send, even if i do kinda feel like well yeah damn yeah you know. but like also i do think theres the other obvious issue of like... with the way this show is, and as good as it is, i feel like theres gonna be more problems that develop and exacerbate over time. i really feel like they needed to introduce more characters earlier on and/or reveal less in present day bc whilst i dont think the tension is everything , and i dont think the shock value of ppl being hunted/dying in the past timeline is everything i do think its gonna have effects on the present time line and them trying to compensate. nd anyway now theyre just gonna do shit like try to tragically kill the women in the present vis a vis nat for like kinda no reason imo bc i do think it was . ultimately such a weird fucking way for her to die and to end even if i did resonate with her dying scene

and i do think there IS some bite that kinda being lost and its a bit weird when they write themselves into holes and have to try and flesh out new characters in the past that we know are just gonna straight up die so soon. a

its why i also didnt really like the idea of krystal. fuck i dont like the idea of krystal and walter being introduced to have a rapport with misty and i think thats just bc i LIKED her being alone . i liked no one fucking liking her. maybe its bc i projected too hard, but also its just like... i dont know it feels so fucking WEIRD that misty has had 0 friends and then she incidentally only just realises that some girl on the soccer team shes been orbitting for forever is like her type of weird and whatever whatever bah bah bah LIKE... theyre clearly trying to spin stuff for her to do, the same with the inclusion of walter, and its like. i dont know again in MY opinion and maybe its my fault for both projecting and setting an expectation but... i think a much more interesting thing to explore would be ownership of herself and her own fucking weirdness and being able to do that alone without needing the validAation of the others . am i crazy. like again i keep thinking abt her in the future and her and walt and ugh how much more i would love it if it was her fighting by herself to try and get natalie out of there. YES its harder to execute in a tv show but i do think it owuld be so much more interesting than taking the . in my opinion lazier route of just sticking in other characters to use to give her storylines

anyway what else was i gonna say fuck this was meant to be about natalie yeah like. thats also what im kinda mad at and why i dont like the inclusion of the extras like walter and lisa, like... i thinkits so much stronger when its just focussing on the dynamics of the girls (and their established ties, from the beginning of s1, i.e callie or simone, etc.) and i think mistys arc this season would have been better if it was a focus on her and nat, even if it was totally onesided rather than fucking walter and

ok im done can i also say. cant wait for shauna to ascend to antler queen in the current timeline. let her go fucking insane i say

[amiaboyoragirl]

alone

i dont have any friends. i live at home with emotionally unavailable parents and my brother, who is my only semi trusted person. we are really close and honestly if i didnt have him i wouldnt be alive but we definitely butt heads and i feel bullied by him even though he doesnt mean to hurt my feelings hes just a blunt ass bitch and 6.5 years younger than me but the dynamic is basically im a big baby he feels the need to take care of. and were codependent with weed nicotine and money/food. im a mess and cant get a job, he does instacart when hes not stoned af at home. hes the only person i interact with during the day other than awkward convos with my mom complaining about something and at least once a day i have to hug my dad which makes me very uncomfortable because 1. im autistic. 2. i have sexual trauma 3. he has traumatized me so bad but either doesnt remember or doesnt think it was traumatic (didnt involve incest but he was too involved in my personal business and forced me on birth control that fucked up my health for a while when the incident that caused him to flip was asault but my mom just slut shamed me and yeah anyway my relationship with them is fucked) but i have ocd and if i dont hug them i feel like theyre gonna die after that thinking idont love them because they cant see any other reason why i wouldnt hug them. and honestly im touch starved so a hug is nice here and there but my body is so uncomfortable here. ive lived here my whole life and i feel helpless. im sure it is learned helplessness because of trauma but still i cannot fucking function outside in the world alone.

i also have tits that make me uncomfortable and im currently trying to figure out if i feel this way because im trans or because of trauma and the general sexualization of the female body and social dynamics idk. i also just got out of a 3.5 year relationship with someone i thought i was going to marry and shit but i felt like i was a lesbian and broke up with him even though i didnt want to lose him i knew he wouldnt love me the way i loved him or if i was a guy inside he wouldnt love me anymore. i know he loved me. but a lot of it feels fuzzy and i cant decipher what was real or if it was all chemicals cuz we fucked and smoked and ate and watched tv and talked all the time. the sex was fucking amazing. sometimes i cry about it still. and i still cant touch myself without thinking about him and just forcing myself to dissociate through it and sleep immediately after. ive always been a sex addict since i was way too fucking young but before this relationship i was sleeping with multiple guys all the time, i needed it to get through going to school and work and keeping up the mask. but then covid hit. met my ex. realized we are autistic. i couldnt keep pretending and forcing myself to work in a fucking restaurant that was sensory hell and triggered my eating disorder. ughhhhh god dammit i know im just romanticizing my ex relationship because im missing the sex and affection and talking to him but realistically we werent going to last and i still feel like we both were hiding some feelings or thoughts we had idk i think he couldve been a narcasisstic asshole but my heart doesnt feel that way, maybe im the narcasist and hes just audhd and traumatized just like me. idk fuck. i miss him so much. we were doing so good like finally things felt peachy again and looking up for us even tho in reality it wasnt we were and are still broke addicts too stubborn to get help. but it was fun while it lasted i guess.

anyway i feel like a rabbit in a hole running out of food and water while the world dances in the snow covering the exit. idk. i havent eaten breakfast yet and i already smoked twice so im sure ill eat and sleep this shit off but idk the thing that gets me everyday is i wake up from a dream i feel like im with my ex and then wake up alone and sad as fuck and it just ruins my day because i let it, i dont want to let go of the pain, of him, i fucking miss him and wish things could be different. we always said we wanted to die holding each other in bed like that couple preserved in pompeii. my chest is on fire right now and if i could just have one more night together id do anything. we have the same birthday so that sucks. i wanted to say happy birthday but it felt way too soon and idk if itd ruin his day or not but iwas def sad all day. we broke up 2 months ago now and havent spoken since but i saw him twice waiting to cross the street while i drove by and my heart sank to my ass. he looked good af. but i have to be honest with myself its not my responsibility to try to make him not angry and act like a man child sometimes. and its not fair tohim to feel responsible for my moods all the time we just couldnt take care of eachother the way we needed because we are both depleted of what we need idk. im going back to sleep. im just feeling emo we shouldnt get back together but i feel like i cant trust my brain because im bpd and pmdd and i always feel this way around my period, we break up then my periods over and im sad as fuck about it and regret it. its too late now im sure hes lost any interest in me and has moved on.good for him. he should. i actually really hope hes happy right now. but i know i didnt feel completely right with him so fuck it ill just try to move on. i just wish i could be normal and have a job or school and friends stuff to distract myself and have new memories but im so isolated rn and depressed idk. i might feel fine tomorrow so i wont kms lol. bpd is sooo fun. especially with gender and sexuality ocd and just wanting to be loved but feeling so unlovable ayyyyy.. i could feel hot after breakfast who knows.

[blackvail22]

she was in my dream last night.

i havent dreamt about her in a really long time... i havent really thought about her either

it was quite odd. in real life, shes an asshole. she has the loudest voice in the room, saying something self-deprecating 90% of the time, and the other 10% is full of her talking shit about someone. in my dream, though... something makes me miss her.

she showed up at my doorstep with a bag full of stuff. it was full of all the art i made her, all of the letters i wrote her. i finally have got it back... i was always afraid that she threw them out or ruined them in a fit of rage. even though i dont really like many of my paintings, the ones i gave her, i was the most proud of them. i also made her a collage, and i even created a book-safe for her. i would spend hours at night writing letters for her, pouring out my heart and soul. when i saw all the sutff, i started crying. in the dream, i never once looked at her. the only thing i remember looking at is her long, frizzy, curly brown hair. thats all i really remember of the dream besides walking on the side of a highway and knowing how to drive (but not knowing how to park?).

anyway i love this song

on another side note, im wishhh i healed from my surgery already. im so fucking tired of my throat hurting, it hurting when i yawn (and feel weird afterwards bcos of my stitches), not being able to eat properly, not being able to talk, my ears hurting!!!!!

im so tired of complaining about this!!! i want everything yo be normal and to never need another surgery for this again but ooo ill be surprised in 9 DAYS when he tells me all about the disease i had (AND DIDNT FUCKING JNOW ABOUT)!

im exhausted. im tired. i dont want to spend another minute more than i need to in my moms room. im tired of how my dad is talking to me (makes me sick) and honestly, im losing my goddamn mind.

i dont really want to go to work anymore. my new coworker makes me dread my job now. and theres something about my recovery that makes me feel like i wont be able to go back to work when i told her i could (happens every surgery ive had, even my knee scope) and shes obviously gonna schedule me that week BUT HOW AM I GONNA CALL OFF IF SHE SCHEDULES ME 7-8 HOUR DAYS 4 DAYS IN A ROW? HOW IS SHE GONNA FIND SOMEONE TO COVER THAT????? AND IM DREADING THE PHONE CALL ILL HAVE TO MAKE ESP IF I CANT FUCKING TALK STILL (i can its just very tense and i choke on every word lmao) BECAUSE HOW AM I GONNA BE LIKE (strained) "hey! its *cough* [my name]. i *cough*--exuse me--am una- unable to come in .... for another f-*cough* few days. i cant talk.... and my doc...tor told me to rest...for a few days...." LIKE HELL THE FUCK NO

i feel like i constantly have acid in my throat. the smell of certain foods makes me sick, the smell of my moms cigarette smoke gives me a headache and nausea that doesnt go away (its 1am, my mom went to sleep at 9 and smoked before then. i still feel like i just inhaled the smoke) i have sharp pains in my side constantly, as well as the right side of my chest. I DONT FEEL GOOD AT ALL. all of my problems could be because i havent really been eating but its because i really cant? i drink water... yeah, i drink water when i remember to. (my body is probably in shock because i usually eat a lot and now im not/barely eating now LOL idek if that can happen but yeah.)

imma stop ranting now. i just wish this next week could fly by and i had a wfh job