#im gonna cry now (positive) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cosmicdenro · 2 months ago

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gh. hey.

#FIRST ONE'S A TRADE WITH GF'S FRIEND HEHA she drew me daisukeeee *crying #im sick now that i positioned both like this it looks like swansea's gonna kill him for the sweetener Bye #ignore mispelling................ minor spelling mistake......#mouthwashing #mouthwashing spoilers #daisuke #anya #scriboozles #eyestrain

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fella-lovin-fella · 5 months ago

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guess who got diagnosed with ocd a couple weeks ago

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skunkes · 3 months ago

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the bad: i have been raised without much warmth from my parents in childhood, but also pressured to conform to familial authority, doubt myself always, and value familial connections above all else (<- failed at this, and feel guilt about it.)

but also in experiencing this i have been so isolated from the entire rest of the world and others, that it will be nearly impossible to create my own "family" -> find safety and comfort in anybody else once my family is Gone. despite dis i find it really difficult to break away from the familiar, disobey and disappoint, because, well, why are my wishes more important than anybody else's. why would I cause upset and distress in anybody, and exert so much effort into my doubt filled half decisions, for my meaningless little Wishes. being away would also mean less time with these people who I'll never see again once they're gone. being raised this way is definitely paying off for those who did so.

the good: yaaaay adjacent inspiration for writing talon lore

#talkys #my dad scaring me but also giving me no advice on what to do instead only saying if i do this it will be the wrong choice leading #to more wrong choices well yep you got me i am scared. i am inept. i fear regret and punishment for wrong decisions.#i struggle to make decisions because i cant go back on them.#''ill never have savings again'' and ''you cant value friends over family they'll abandon you''#and ''living here is only a problem for you because you dont communicate. there is a way to work things out''#i wish i could work it out and stay i dont know why i cant work it out ! and what do i want #to leave so badly for... to continue to never have stable housing #never have savings again? be alone and in danger?#to be able to wear whatever i want and...buy things? really? that doesnt seem very worth it #nothing seems very worth it #im miserable here but maybe i'd be more miserable away...it is true #well at least the chances to leave are very slim. and will continue to get slimmer the more time passes.#but maybe its fine i dont want to ruin my life or be even more of a burden or reason for distress in someone else's #moving out wouldnt fix anything. wherever you go there you are.#my friend said i have to be a little selfish (positive) to push myself to leave. bt i dont want to be selfish. im ashamed of that as a trai #delete later #even now i feel immense guilt and stress when my dad does things that hurt or bother me bc i know ill miss him when he's gone.#(and ill have nobody after all of that. due to the being kept in a cage)#that sucks. why does everyone else always win. why am i always the weakest pliable one. i wish i had no emotions #my surgery is the only decision in my life ive been 100% sure on for years #and even then my parent's words had me crying and rapidly changing emotions daily until the day came #im not strong enough or sure enough about anything else to withstand More of that #<- and i know that tomorrow im gonna be like actually you know what who cares lets try to leave #and the next day ill be resigned to staying here forever #and the next day ill be like actually you know what who cares l

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emry-stars-art · 5 months ago

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i was literally checking ur blog like an hour ago like wow i miss them and now u post again……. A gift

I???? 💕🩷✨

IM JUST HAPPY TO PROVIDE

#anon think of the CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR WORDS #ON MY POOR LITTLE HEART #i miss posting as much... i just be busy now with a real job TT #and also. ive been drawing a bunch more of my ocs #so. sadly. less aftg stuff to post on this blog #i dont intend to stop posting here #just in case thats a concern lol #but THANK U #im gonna cry now (positive)#not art sorry guys #asks #kind words

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arsenicflame · 4 months ago

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genuinely, how do you learn to cope with the idea you'll have mental health issues for the rest of your life? how to you learn to find peace with the fact that rock bottom is always going to be just around the corner and theres nothing you can really do to stop it?

#i guess this is rhetorical but also if you have genuine tips i probably do want to hear them #im trying to adopt a 'be happy now because youll be sad later' attitude but some days its so hard to deal with the idea ill never be fully #in control. ill never be fullt stable. something will always set me off. ill always downswing #im at peace with the idea that whatevers wrong in my head is for life i just need to figure out how to be content knowing itll always be #bad again.#id like it to be easier #nyxtalks #idk stupid shit sent me panicking and the lingering effects have me catastophising and near crying about things that literally dont exist #its just in my head. i am seeing something that isnt there and i must remind myself that #and this is by no means a bad day in the scheme of things for me either #i just had a few awful thoughts #but it reminds me of how bad i get #idk its not that serious its fine #im gonna. maybe try and find something positive in the world now and stop thinking things that arent even true

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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months ago

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...

#oh lads. its not looking good for my genomics exam on Thursday. its all fucked #i dunno. its just been a weird day. bc one of my lab mates is getting ready to go to the astr0biology science conference #and its just so wild how i got here. into the perfect position. i have a great advisor. a great phd project. a committee member who is super #integrated with n4sa astr0biology projects. and so many of the instructors are amazing. my genomics prof is terrifyingly smart #so is my advisor and his wife. and the program is great. ecology and Evolution. its perfect. its all perfect #and yet. and yet. it just feels like its all falling apart. ive lost that compulsive thing thats always set in my chest #and now all i want to do is lay on the floor and cry and sleep and not do anything. why am i so tired?#its just so frustrating. and im sure ive got the most wretched vibes bc im constantly like 1 comment away from bursting into tears #like 2 weeks and its done. then im off to find a summer job. and find a long term job. and consider throwing away everything ive ever worked #toward. just let it all burn. im so tired. and i dont get to see my therapist until Monday. thats gonna b fun #hi. hello. since last i saw you my life has crumbled into pieces. ugh. i just dont wanna fail this genomics exam but it looks like that's #where we're headed. maybe i should have just dipped out of these last 3 weeks. but no. i didnt want to leave the lady i ta for 100 lab #reports to unexpectedly have to grade 4 days before grades are due. ugh. itll b fine. i mean it wont but whatever #unrelated

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fxckinemo · 5 days ago

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i think i just met an angel????

#like im so fucking serious #okay so i got my birth control shot today but i broke the two needles i already had and got really upset bc the bc is 50 bucks #and in my head i was like omg i have to go back to the pharmacy now bc I can't just waste 50 bucks of bc #and there's air in the vial its gonna dry out whatever whatever i was freakin out bc I've already been stressed and sad #and this was just the cherry on top of the meltdown sundae that's been gettin scoop after scoop for weeks #but anyway i was sitting in the turn lane for the pharmacy closer to my place #(they ended up saying i had to go back to the og pharmacy to buy needles. understandable. still cried more ab it #mostly bc my legs hurt really fucking bad and i didn't want to drive all the way back but anyway)#as im sitting in the turn lane this lady comes up and knocks on my window and at first im like “im not opening the window are you crazy”#but she insists and is like i want to give you money you just look so sad so i crack the window in case she's like. bonkers and this is bait #but she straight up just gives me money and is like “you just looked so sad and I've been there i went through a really bad divorce #here's a hundred dollars“ and then she runs back to her car #so i just kinda sat there in shock and also cried harder bc that's a level of kindness I've never experienced before #im still kinda crying on and off bc omg i swear i met a real life fucking angel. i didn't even see her get back into a car #but tbf i was crying really hard #i did eventually get my needle and got my bc injected but. holy shit????#that was the most genuine kindness i think I've ever experienced and i will do my best to pay that forward whenever i have the means #cause money isn't the main reason I've been upset but it certainly hasn't been helping my mental health either #i already try to be kind when i have the capacity #but i think im going to start actively looking for things i can do to make peoples lives a little brighter #im still kind of in shock it didn't feel real i keep thinking im gonna look and the money will have disappeared but no #that actually happened and im gonna try even harder to be a better person now #i want to do something like that for someone in my position one day #what a way to start the year jfc

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alxor-of-hellsite · 7 days ago

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THINGS!

2025 is going to be the most jam packed stressful year of my life & i know that for sure because a lot is already planned. So i WILL be an absolute mental wreck (this is apologies in advance) & i will literally be clinging onto support most likely the whole year so tumblr will either be me spamming constantly or me not here for weeks or months at a time & barely posting? i’m so unpredictable. Anyways my entire life is guaranteed to change & the best case scenario will still ruin a lot of shit for me so if i get really depressed THERE IS REASON!!!! & i’ve already made several promises so the world is stuck with me if i can help it. so uuhhhhhhhhh YEAH. ANYWAYS IM SCARED FUCKING SHITLESS LIKE ZERO SHIT SCARED OUT KF MY FUCKING MIND SO YEAH. THE MENTAL STATE WONT BE THE BEST. LOVE YOU GUYS!!! IF MY ACTIVITY IS SPOTTY IM NOT DEAD WE’RE PROBABLY JUST DISSOCIATED AS SHIT!

Anyways. TLDR i’m going to be super fucking stressed out & out of pocket for the next year because of shit.

Any friends of ours read tags pretty please <3

#new year 2025 #going to be super hyperactive or stare at a wall for a week & i don’t know which one it will be yet it’s leaning towards stare at a wall #for maybe like a month. just stare at wall & cry #BUDDY REN IS NOT OKAY! BUT HANGING IN THERE!#WE COMMITTED TO HARD TO THE BIT THAT IS LIFE SO YALL ARE STUCK WITH ME LESS SUN DONT SHINE RIVERS TAKE ME DOWN!#mighhhhhht end up relapsing on the addiction but that is way better than being dead. it doesn’t have to be healthy at this point #as long as it keeps me alive & sane i guess? i’ll obviously try not to but like dark times are dark #life update #IF YOU ARE AN IRL THAT I TALK TO OFTEN & YOU NOTICE ME NOT RESPONDING TO ANYTHING OR REACHING OUT PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD REACH OUT #IM SAYING THIS NOW BECAUSE IVE BEEN INCREDIBLY SUICIDAL BEFORE & AM BEING CAUTIOUS AS HELL!!!! MENTAL STATE IS NOT A FUCKING GAME OVER HERE #LIKE IF I START SHOWING SIGNS & I AM NOT TAKING CARE OF IT ALREADY REN IS A STUBBORN BITCH & WILL REFUSE HELP BUT IM NOT PLAYING #IF SHIT STARTS GETTING CONCERNING FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE INTERVENE #LIKE OBVIOUSLY IF YOU ARENT DOING GOOD EITHER & NEED PRIORITIZE YOURSELF DO THAT!!!#BUT IF YOU ARE IN A POSITION TO HELP & CATCH ON TO ANY CONCERNING SIGNS PLEASSSSSSE DONT LET THIS BITCH TURN HELP DOWN & INTERVENE #WE WILL PROBABLY NEED ALL THE HELP WE CAN GET & ALL THE SUPPORT WE CAN ASWELL #BUT ALSO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF PLEASEEEE? DONT IGNORE YOUR OWN NEEDS #APOLOGIES IF THIS IS WORDED BAD IM NOT THE BEST WRITER THATS NOT MY JOB #SERIOUSLY LOVE YOU GUYS & IM GOING TO TRY MY HARDEST TO SUPPORT MYSELF BUT WE MIGHT NEED MORE HELP THAN WE CAN GIVE OURSELVES ALONE?#IF ANY OF THIS SHIT MAKES SENSE #MIGHT NOT? I DUNNO DM ME IF YOU WANT TO BATTLE PLAN WITH ME #THE BATTLE BEING LIFE WHILE CHANGING LITERALLY EVERYTHING & MAYBE BEING AN INTERNALLY DISPLACED REFUGEE IN THE COMING MONTHS #I LOVE YALL! UH THANKS FOR READING I GUESS? IM TIRED & GONNA SLEEP NOW #GOOD NIGHT YALL <3

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rainingincale · 24 days ago

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#fuck me sorry but that post actually unlocked so many memories for me rn and i simply must get them out lmao #anyways i just wish there was a way i could tell my geography teacher how much of an impact she made on my life #it absolutely shook my world view up when we did our lesson on migration and she asked me what the positives to immigration were #me. a brown girl living in britain her whole life where all she really saw and understood was an inherent hatred for immigrants.#and so i prattled off the textbook answer- they bring people who can do labour and earn more money for the country #and shes like 'and?' and i drew a blank. i couldnt think of anything else. what else were they worthy for?#and she explains. she says music. and food. and culture. and god. im tearing up just thinking about it. like in that single moment she just #fucking changed everything for me. like yeah. yeah ppl do bring that. they make this place everything it is. they bring Life to this place.#i feel like my words are so jumbled lmao idk how else to explain it i am simply soooooooooooooooooo emo like seriously #and it wasnt after i didnt have her as a teacher i was told my one of my friends that she always gives the best student in her class a #a yellow ring binder. the rest get green. guess what one i got. LIKE IM GOING TO CRY AND NEVER STOP. and i didnt know!! i never fucking knew #i literally remember her that day when she was like ah seems im all out @ H could you follow me pls and ill get you answer one from storage #and then she gave me a yellow ring binder like. fuck me man. fuuuuuuckkkkkkkkkkk #and i think back so much because she had a scottish sounding second name but she was married. and part of me thinks maybe her parents were #polish? just from context clues. but i dont actually know. and part of me is like am i just romanticising her? i didnt actually know who she #was. all i have is these little moments and how she treated me and the fact i liked her class #and people were so rude about her btw. like thought she was a dickhead. but she wasnt. she actually wasnt she just didnt take ppls shit. :((#and now im remembering that time i didnt do my homework and my friend took my jotter from the pile AS SHE WAS MARKING THEM and brought it #to me so i could copy off her #and ngl i always thought it was funny and sneaky but now im realising she probably fucking knew and didnt say anything because she liked us #god im gonna cry #i hope youre ok out there and i hope youre happy. i hope my idea of you is correct.#*insert spongebob laying on ground meme*#le text post

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the-acid-pear · 3 months ago

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im gonna kill a hostage

#luly talks #im throwing up and crying right now oh i dont like this shit one bit im gonna #blow the world up with my death ray #dialtown liveblog #<- im trying more positive language :)

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nutria--oscura · 1 year ago

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Was having a bad day (guy dead naming and misgendering me said that he didn't know he was dead naming and misgendering me even though 4 different people corrected him several times(amongst other things said)) then boom remember new dndads tonight

#aghhhhhh #anyways on a more positive note #it's so nice that i have trans friends irl now #theyre so nice im gonna cry #whispers of the raine #dndads #ALSO SHOUT OUT TO LOUIE. THE ABSOLUE KING THAT HE IS #and to my bestie for talking about chemistry to me and letting me holdhis hand when my voice didn't want to work to help calm me down #(i love chemistry)

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s-ccaam-era-crepe · 6 months ago

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im such an emotional guy

#camera talks #both positive and negative #right now positive because i just cried over feeling loved #ngl that was cathartic but also kinda embarrassing. i feel like thats not a crying matter #but like i feel emotions of happiness and love and stuff so so strongly it genuinely hurts my chest sometimes.#also negative because of like. everything else BUT.#im thinking of the positive right now because today has been difficult #stupidly and annoyingly difficult but im going to ignoreee it <3 #anyways. i love you guys #i really really do #i dont Like being sappy that much but like. i really could rant about how cool and awesome and amazing yall are for so long #like. i dont do hugs very often irl but i would hug all of yall in a heartbeat forever #idk how to describe it guys.#uhm anyways thats enough of cam is vulnerable hours. im gonna hole up in my room again <3

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lesbianfrottage · 6 months ago

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Okay but I need to be someone's beloved wifepet and belong to them completely and be able to pour my whole energy into just loving them. When will it be my turn!

#it won't be honestly #I do not think I will ever actually get to have that #I'm not pretty and I'm disabled in ways that both physically and mentally make me unappealing #so no one really wants anything real with me #especially JUST with me #and I'm *scared* of hurting someone with my craziness tbh #and I only trust like. 3 people at all rn and for various reasons none of those people and I are going to date #and in most of those cases I'm very relieved and in the other there's mixed feelings but mostly positive bc again. i don't want to hurt any1 #but i still yearn for it #it's still an emotional need #and I hate that it just isn't ever going to be met #it actually hurts so so badly knowing it won't be met #but i also understand that some people just dont get that kind of happiness #some of us just don't get to be loved #some of us are too ugly and crippled and insane for people to *want* us #i just don't really... want to keep going knowing thay #I'll post it here in the tags bc no one i know reads this blog #(a few know about it but it's not like anyone ever checks it)#but I'm definitely ideating and at risk rn #and i feel pathetic that this is what's doing it #but im an emotionally gooey person and a physical touch person and I'd already been thinking relationships probably werent something i can #like. even do #but then there was a blowup with my ex and like. it was made clear that i can not safely engage with anyone #like emotionally or romantically or sexually #because I'll just hurt them.#like there are parts of me i would like to change but are such a core part of me that they will never change #and they will always hurt someone if we're together ling enough #so im just going to idk.#isolate now tbh #im just gonna cry so much and know i will NEVER have what i emotionally need out of life

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pandorashearts · 1 year ago

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realized it's my friend who disappeared a year ago's birthday,,, and just got. absolutely whiplashed with grief. i hate not knowing if she's even Alive, much less doing okay. i sincerely, with all my heart and soul, hope she's alive & well. happy birthday, m. not a day goes by that you don't cross my mind. i miss you.

#mine #m tag #idk. what to rly. do w myself now.#i just wanna cry honestly.#ive lost so many people over this past year #but she's one of the hardest ones bc i dont even know if she's Gone gone.#i just know she's unreachable from my position.#& it hurts. it hurts so fucking much. my heart hurts so much & it's so empty.#she's one of the best people i've ever had the absolute delight of knowing.#she always checked on me & was so loving & understanding & always knew exactly what to say to cheer me up.#& she's so fucking funny GOD i miss her humor.#she disappeared before i had full system discovery so my alters never even got to introduce themselves to her...#fuck. im gonna tear up i hope you're okay. please be okay. please come back someday. nothing is the same w/out you.#every time a new v/nc chapter comes out i just. think abt you. & i cant even look at them anymore bc it just hurts.#i love you so much. i hope you know that. wherever you are.

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pink-booty-butts · 2 years ago

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going on a mini hiatus! I'm SO sorry to the anons who've requested things that I haven't written yet, I promise I will write them at some point!! and I'm so sorry I'm taking forever to write them in general!!

#i hope no one blames themselves for this im just very sad and i dont have the capacity to be positive right now #and if i cant be positive then its really hard for me to be around other people ngl 😂 i feel like im being depressing and i hate that #idk i feel like im making their life worse if im sad ya know?#anyways im gonna go cry now lmao 😂#yall are free to send requests still of course but pls keep in mind it might be a hot minute before i get to it!#love you all #💛💛💛

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pandanscafanfiction · 1 year ago

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🙃

#im just gonna rant here real quick #all i want to do is erite but every sentence feels terrible and i'm having trouble getting from point A to point B #work was terrible today and i havent eaten a full meal in like a day and a half and i know its all just accumulating to poor mental health #and i know i'll get over it #but being in the position i am now is just awful and the only thing that makes me happy i can't even do because of my bad headspace #i just want food but i can't even go grocery shopping until day after tomorrow #i've been eating not even 1 meal a day because of work getting in the way and i'm over it #like. i fr just want to cry tbh. what i really want is to fly back to GA but i cant i'm stuck here #sorry to anyone who read this i just wanted to say it somehwere i knew no one would listen #before i go insane #like. i even bought a pizza and got it delivered to my current work place just so i'd finally be able to eat #but systems crashed and the store is also short staffed and both the staff i did have were trainees.#so i put the pizza in the fridge and told myself i'd remember to take it back to the hotel with me #but od course due to exhaustion and an already horrible short term memory of course i forgot #so it's another night with no dinner #i hate this shit

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