#i also always be overthinking things and just why cant i . not have such a negative perception of everything i SAY/do woohoo
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#hello time of the day where im deleriously sleepy so buckle your seatbelts and prepare for me to make a dot post that is a bit weird#Anyways! idk why but i really struggle with allowing myself to pet cats?#like i love them. i am a cat person. my biggest dream is to have as many cats as humanly possible#but for some reason whenever i am around them... i just feel so reluctant to bother them?#i dont have this issue with dogs. like i will pet them and mess about and not be so worried about bothering them. im still conscious of not#harassing them because like. idk just boundaries i guess. i have this thing in my mind where its like i know they cant actually Say if im#they want to be pet so i try not to overstep. but yeah with cats i am just So much more wary. even though i know so much about them and#their body language etc. like i love cats i do. but im always so hesitant to try pick them up or pet them etc etc#i think part of it is also that i dont wanna bother owners. because even if they say its chill i personally think if i had a pet and#strangers came up to me like :O can i pet them :OOOOO id be kinda weirded out. idk if i am treating pets too similarly to children lmao#i just dont wanna be disrespectful or overstep ever#and i am 100% overthinking all this and idk how to stop dhdbddjjdjdjdjhdjdjdubsjsshsj#le text post
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
jdfuafhuagkldflgajkd
#what if i also am a mess this week 🤩#theres this banner marketing thing we ordered on monday that needed 5 business days and we needed by this monday#production started on it monday and they sent me a link to track progress and shit but the link didnt work#and i tried emailing them abt it and i had to email other ppl but i waited like a few days before doing that and ended up not getting iit#to work or anything and now we need the thing sent to somewhere by tomorrow afternoon#today afternoon lol and like they had the 5 business days they said they took for it so it Should be fine#but i literaly have no idea#bc the fucking progress link wouldnt work#and everyone i emailed to help w it werent responding over the weekend#so like im sending another email tomorrow morning at 8 lol to be like did yall send it pls bc i cant see TT#i feel like it's my fault if it doesnt happen and we wasted many money bc i've been handling the logistics and stuff for this thing#i know it's not rly but also i . couldve done some things earlier#anyway idk im not rly dwelling on that i just feel like#if i go on campus tomorrow and the banner is up im gonna start crying LMFAO#bc this is highkey stressing me out and i like to cry when im stressed 🥳#if it doesnt happen i will also start crying lmfao#i also always be overthinking things and just why cant i . not have such a negative perception of everything i SAY/do woohoo#afterparty for our show but im just crying bc release of this stress while everyone else is drinking#bro im not even nearly the most significant / high pressure board position and im likeeeejgndfndkfdkgdh lol#tbf tho marketing do be . the most during this week ig ;-;#also i need to go to sleep but i dont want to :D am excited for the show this week but i think i am#procrastinating actually having the week start bc it is kinda stresssssfulllllllll lolllllll#manifesting this fucking banner is up tomorrow#i will see it either in the morning idk if they put them up that early or#i guess when i leave the building in the afternoon but also i wont be facing the sign at all#or in the evening ;-; my only two chances to see#altho my friend might text me if she sees it when she goes like later morning i think#anyway *screaming* ran out of tags bye lol#jeanne talks
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
random astro observations part 13.✨
✨just for fun im just talking random ass shit based on PERSONALL observations..✨
PART TWELVE. 📀
virgo risings and people getting intimidated by the way they speak (scorpio 3rd house). But then when you get know and befriend them theyre so sweet (pisces 7h, cancer 11h). My virgo rising bestie & when i first met her in college she was speaking in class and i was like woah shes smart asf and intense 😭
or sag risings and them speaking to people in a direct yet still obscure manner! or sometimes even cold in a sense.. like girl what do u really mean fr 🤨 (aqua 3h). But then you get closer with them and they love to chat with you (gemini 7h) and make anytime u hang out a pleasant and nice time (libra 11h). my sag rising friend throws the best parties (going all out with the decor, presentation of food, having a theme & ofc taking nice pics after… real libra 11h shit).
taurus risings and them communicating in a very soft, comforting manner (cancer 3h) and as you get closer you notice their intensity in their relationships with people (scorpio 7h) and their giving, helpful nature in their friendships (pisces 11h).
another thing about taurus risings, you can bet they are getting FREAKYYY with their partner with that scorpio 7h 😭they are very private with their relationships and rarely reveal personal details about it unless they trust you. my taurus rising cousin and she never shares anything about her bf (whats mine is mine you dont need to worry about it) energy. and she also has mentioned she doesnt need to give ppl a reason to try to found out for themselves what a great time shes having lmfaooo
also my taurus rising coworkers and one time we all went out for drinks and one of our coworkers was complaining about how women always have a shit time when having seggs with men and my taurus rising coworker was like “wellppp cant relate.”.. and i oop 🙈
the 2nd house rules the vocal chords and as an aries 2h sometimes when im excited or even mad i sound like a 12 year old 😭 like naruto when hes giving one of his NEVER GIVE UP NEVER BACK DOWNNN speech. I also feel like if you have scorpio or aries 2h people always think you're mad and want you to "calm down" when you talk. like no im not mad have you ever heard of being fucking passionate? hmmm?
In general, aries placements could also find they get a lot of patronizing comments or aries women could even find that men often try to "mainsplain" them. just bc aries are being assertive doesnt mean theyre being reckless or not seeing the big picture.. its all a balance. Aries DOES have this youthful /bold energy, but that doesnt mean they cant be wise people who prefer to learn by doing, even if others mistake their approach for inexperience..
we know plutonians can be seen as having this “abrasive” energy to other people. it can throw them off or make them be like “oh i dont like them.” but pluto doms recognize other plutonian people its that silent understand lmaooo its giving "real recognize real😎 " overall tho pluto dom ppl try to give others the benefit of the doubt (not necessarily bc they like them but just bc they wanna feel the energy on their own). like if people are talking shit about someone pluto doms might sit back and stay silent about it. they do their digging on their own. theyre not gonna let the crowd influence how they feel about someone. plutonians will be DOING THEIR DIGGING FIRST no matter what.
I remember a time when my cousin, who’s a Scorpio rising, asked me if I liked one of her friends (not in a romantic way). I said, 'Yeah, why?' and she replied, 'Oh, just asking because she said she feels like you don’t like her, but I knew she was overthinking it.'" We moved on from the conversation, but later, I realized that was such a typical Scorpio rising move. Instead of just telling me, 'Hey, my friend feels like you don’t like her,' she asked me that question first to confirm or deny it. I felt like she did that on purpose to make it harder for me to lie, even though I wouldn’t have lied in the first place. It annoyed me because, like, why would I lie about something like that??? But then I understood it’s just her nature. Scorpio risings ask questions in a detective ass way because they want to dig for the truth and feel out people’s responses.
plutonians and scorpios do that shit all the time, tilting their heads like little cats, squinting, being all like "oh..hmm, why do you think that?" like no im about to do this shit with u rn sherlock fuckin JONES u know WHYYY
in my moon aspects post ppl asked me if it still applied with “harminous aspects” and yes. it still does. just bc u think its easier doesnt negate the energy. for ex i have moon trine neptune and my mom (moon) has always been in her own world (neptune). and other family members find her energy “endearing” or ask me to “be kinder to her” but its also hard when your mom often times cares more about the world of what ifs in her head more than the real world with her daughter ... also my moms way of coping (moon) at times would literally be by saying in front of the family as soon she got home that she hates her life and wish she could “grow wings and be somewhere far away from everyone ” like delulu was always the solution for her 😭….
but also i wonder if people with moon-neptune placements feel confused (neptune) about motherhood (moon) in general. i use to say i didn't want kids but as ive gotten older i do like the idea of it. it just feels very....… [static noises]
nui.views on instagram reminds me of the aries-libra axis so much. Most of her videos have titles like “how to be soft and direct” or “how to balance sharp and soft expressions.” usually titles along those lines. We know theres always time to read the room (libra) but also knowing when its time to stand up or speak up! (aries) and nui.views basically says it’s possible to do both.
12h moons & their moms being their biggest enemyyy is crazy!! 🤨 the passive aggressive behavior, entitlement, hating from the sidelines. AND the expectation of the 12h moon child to “repay” or be “grateful” mother for all they did. my ex had a 12h scorpio moon and brooo anytime they got a good thing, mom would make it all about her (for ex they bought a new car, mom was LIVIDDDDD). the moon can show how mom takes advantage. for ex: scorpio moon in the 12h and mom (moon) is possessive about the resources (scorpio) you have or over you in general. taurus moon and mom (moon) is possessive about your money (taurus) or maybe even holds over your head that “she feeds you.” i have a coworker with a 12h taurus moon and her mom constantly borrows money from her or literally steals it and never pays it back. capricorn moon and mom may feel like your accomplishments belong to her or “you wouldn’t be successful without all i did” energy.
^ their can be a lot of enmeshment with the mom with this placement (especially if their is a moon-pluto aspect) but its something the 12h moon person has to decide to sever or break from on their own and on their own time. this placement has to deal with the “mother always knows best😊😊😊😊” energy
12th house Moon women and other women (Moon) being their hidden enemies (12th house) is so real! I remember at my old job, one of my coworkers had a 12th house Aquarius Moon, and all the women would talk so much shit about her behind her back. (To be fair, she wasn’t doing her job well, but their comments were just unnecessarily nasty.) I used to feel bad for her in meetings because everyone would act normal to her face. I wasn’t at that job long… With this placement, it's common for other women (whether friends, family, or acquaintances) to secretly harbor resentment, jealousy, or animosity that isn’t obvious on the surface. Plus, with 12th house placements, if the person is genuinely doing something wrong or needs feedback, instead of being honest, people often use that as an excuse to bring up unrelated complaints or things they don’t like, turning it into something bigger than it is!! Like girl how did you go from talking about her customer service skills to talking about her haircut be fr!
how do you guys feel about people who plan their pregnancies to get a sign/ birth chart they are compatible with for their child? not gonna lie I use to think that shit was crazy but then I think about the 12h synastry and squares I have with my mom and im like... this shii couldve been way cuter...
gemini placements are the people that wake up in the middle of the night to google a random fact. its a itch they gotta scratch 😭 me with my chart ruler gemini jupiter in the 3h. trying to do type a paper for a class in one sitting? well no i got sidetracked reading about how to defend yourself against bear attacks which led me to bear survival stories on reddit which led me to reading about polar bears which led me to finding an article about the farmer that got attacked and eaten by his own hog named teddy and then… boom . its 3am.
Its so hard though like we know the "jack of all trades" label that comes with mercurial energy but damn what if I just wanna be a jack of one trade and be really good at that one thing? I bounce around from thing to thing because im always getting these diff ideas but im really working on finishing something once I start it. its just hard.... sometimes I b having a lot to yap about, ya know? (ive had many diff hobbies, writing fan-fiction, painting, making candles, crocheting, LMAOOO its just chaos sometimes)
sometimes aspects can be very literal. im spilling some family tea sorry tia but for ex my aunt has venus conjuct pluto in the 10th house and her relationships (venus) are known for (10h) being taboo or just frowned upon (10h). She dated her besties ex-husband and it caused A LOT OF drama and then he fucking died bro...like?? Being known for (10h) her lovers (venus) dying (pluto)?????? im not trying to be a judgmental asshole but also its so disappointing though when people use aspects like this for evil? fucking ur besties man as soon as they get divorced? with that venus-pluto in the 10h she could've found herself a successful ass business man!
my bestie is a teacher and she was telling me about how the kids were sharing about what they wanna be when they grow up and when it got to this one girls turn she said she wanted to be a basketball player or some shit like that (the point is it was a very 5th grade response similar to her peers) but then like the kids started clapping when she said hers??? LMAOOOO and to me that is the most sun-venus SHIT EVER. and then she told me all the the 5th grade tea, how some of the boys have a crush on her haha. shes admired and well liked (venus) just for being who she is (sun)!
moon-venus is different. my experience with venus-moon aspect has consisted of women always feeling comfortable enough to confide me, me feeling more comfy with women around, children loving me, children in my family venting to me (im that one cousin the babies reach out to first to get picked up ejeje). the moon is about the inner self, privacy, and our home life. A moon-venus person might be very well-liked, but often in a more low-key, intimate way. They're the type of person you confide in or feel safe with, rather than someone who shines in the spotlight or dominates a social scene the way a sun-venus person would. both aspects make a person likable, but in different way. sun-venus is more about being confident and noticeable, while moon-venus is more about being caring and emotionally connected with others.
btw doing personalized astro observations in the style of the way i usually write my random ones but instead based on your birth chart 😙🥰
#astro observations#astrology notes#astrology observations#random astro note#random astro#rxmxa#mars#aries#pluto#scorpio rising#sun-venus#moon-venus#virgo rising#saggitarius#gemini#12th house moon#astro notes
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
The lilithian experience (lilith dominant chart)
Personal experiences w having heavy lilith influence
- Older people being creepy subtly or overtly, but usually subtly with certain looks or touches or comments, especially strangers in public or distant family friends
- Being told Im scary or intimidating, or that I look mean (a girl once told me she thought I wouldnt want to hang out w her and her friends because I looked 'too pretty and kinda mean') [this is esp w lilith/asc harsh aspects]
- Lilith square asc culture is walking into a room a little pissed or in a hurry and everyone shutting up (also works for mars/pluto)
- Now Ive never heard anyone else talking about this but as a lilithian woman Ive always been disgusted by the idea of having sex with a man because in our culture a woman who has sex w a man is seen as having been dominated and degraded by him ("I fucked her" "I hit that" "I scored") also the act itself is very power struggle-ish like no *I* want to bend over a man and make him suck *my* dick
- Being hyperaware of people looking at you (even if youre dressed extremely modestly or without makeup)
- Lilith/moon aspects 🤝 your mom making inappropriate comments about you and your body
- Lilith/sun aspects 🤝 your father insulting you or making weird comments (more subtle w soft aspects so you might brush it off but its still not okay girl)
- People thinking youre flirting with them or others (esp men) but youre just hot and talking, and you cant help that ppl have strong reactions to anything you say really
- Loving eye contact <3 (w the right people)
- Lilith square saturn culture is not being afraid to stand up to authority <3 and having to quite often because they have a pick on you and try to tear you down
- also w lilith square/opposite saturn grown ass adults will have beef w you when youre a kid, esp those w authority over you like teachers, coaches etc
- Lilith/asc harsh aspects and overthinking whether a fit is too revealing or not (because you dont want to get harassed and looked at again) (but then youll grt harassed even if you go out in a priests suit so 🤩)
- People (esp men) trying to use you for sex
- Always being the one guys want to be friends w benefits with while theyre crushing on another girl
- "I dont like what you do to me" - most men Ive interacted with for a while
- A guy told me he liked me for who I am but he couldnt stand "the effect I have on him"
- lilith in 4th house culture is attracting men w mommy issues and being looked at by guys in relationships
- lilith/mercury and needing to know all your friends bdsm test results
- People liking when youre mean 2 them
- People who hate you often want to have sex w you
- Ive had so many guys in my class literally have to gather up courage to talk 2 me, even for basic things like asking me to help w something, they approach me looking all tense and worked up like Ill slice their head off for asking me to help them with their math lmao
- A classmate (and friend, apparently) of my friend once didnt want to come out and meet me when I went to my friends school to give her something because she thought Id beat her up (for context I found out she said some nasty things to my friend and was not happy about it)
- Being told by ppl (esp men) that I remind them of characters who are villains
- People esp girls not liking me for no reason or being rude
- Guys in relationships being extremely cold and rude to me or even shittalking me to their gfs (you can guess why)
- People trying to 'put you in your place'
- Recognizing other lilithians immediately
- Being insecure about your private parts, your body in general and your appearance
- Sex obsession since a young age
- Sexual harassment unfortunately
#lilith#astro observations#astro placements#horoscope#plutonian#astrology#lilith square ascendant#lilith astrology#lilith aspects#pluto placements#tw mysoginy
664 notes
·
View notes
Text
everyones been asking me this. everytime i tell someone new im into dialtown, they always question me about the same thing! without fail! and so here it is:
WHAT I THINK EACH CHARACTER WOULD ORDER AT THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY
now why are they at the cheesecake factory? BECAUSE: in the dialtown universe, as we know, texas roadhouses were ERADICATED off the face of the earth due to health violations, and where else is norm gonna go for his birthday?
(most) everyone gets a DESSERT, DRINK, and MEAL in their order
HE ORDERS: the pumpkin pecan cheesecake (he attempted to order the carrot cake, at the cheesecake factory, at got side eyed), whisky & ginger, and steak diane. claims his mama makes steak better BUT whatev he enjoys his meal in his own disgruntled way
MINGUS, on the other hand, is VIGILANT throughout. she forgot it was norms birthday (& of course would never admit this), and was the one to offer to take him out and pay for everyone. just as powerplay. she sits across from norm, on the edge of her seat just WAITING to call over the waiter for the check. she orders the miso salmon, a red sangria, and 30th anniversary chocolate cake
i hate this thing. it cant read the 9 pages of menu, obviously, so the narrator is thumbing through for it and as SOON as he mentions this "impossible burger", gingi immediately gets an idea in its head that itll break the system & give it money BACK. refuses to eat it in fear of "damaging the goods" and also gets a ... bowl of vanilla ice cream
karen orders: louisiana chicken pasta, a strawberry infused margarita, and fresh strawberry. it just makes sense to have your drink & dessert match! she doesnt eat all of her meal & spends most of it tossing little pasta bits at gingi to watch it snap at it. otherwise Normal Sensible Dinner
oliver on the contrary, orders based off name alone. Chicken Parmesan "Pizza Style", the Well-Mannered Dirty Martini, and Adam's Peanut Butter Cup Fudge Ripple. he has to squash his disappointment when the waiter comes around and hands him his dessert without calling it by its full title
randy ATTEMPTS to get a kids meal, feeling weird about the bill all being on mingus' tab & he isnt around her much, so how would he repay her? just COMPLETELY overthinking it. so he doesnt have a backup for when he doesnt pass as 12 & is told he cant order that. so he PANICS and lands on something random... the loaded mashed potato omelette. okay. same with the coconut cream. he orders NO drink - instead, he gets water, and the waiter passes over him & he gets NO refills. (he goes to the bathroom sink when thirsty)
i like to think jerry gets invited to norms birthday dinner! he orders the cuban sandwich (pickles & all!), espresso martini, and pineapple upside-down cheesecake. it just fits
i WILL not accept constructive criticism, btw
#dialtown#sgt norm allen#phonegingi#oliver swift#randy jade#karen dunn#mayor mingus#ticket jerry#dt jerry
120 notes
·
View notes
Text
ABYSS RAZOR CRUSH HCS BC IF I DONT GET SOME CONTENT I WILL DIE
Abyss Razor x gn reader
Prompt: yall r madly in love he has a crush on youuu (boyfail situationship hcs more like tbh)
A/N: sorry if this is rambly i cant live like this i keep rereading the same 4 or 5 posts over and over again ive been waiting for like a year and im getting teased with the tip PLEASEEE WRITE HIM 😭😭🤞 i cant ever escape the ‘nobodys fave but mine’ curse help
Ily losermen
Ily high ponytail men
Ily abyss razor
more utc
- Im gonna jump he is so kewt. Idek what to say im just ill
- You’d probably often compliment his eyes and you have this image that hes so calm and collected— which he is! But! Not with you! So every conversation with you is him just fighting for his life trying to look cool and not implode at the same time
- ^^^ THIS is one thing. But what really gets him falling for you is when you get a bit closer and have a talk with him, telling him in no uncertain terms that he’ll always have someone to return to if others are cruel because you won’t be leaving him
- Gives you things VERY often, usually little things because hed die if he had to directly give you a gift and then have to explain why, so he shows his affection in little ways like letting you have his best pencils and pens if you need it (lets you keep it too)
- oh he absolutely loses it if he sees you continue to use his pen hes so touched that you’re taking good care of what he gives you it shows that it means a lot to you and that he means a lot to you
- The only actual gift he gives you during this stage are things he has an excuse for like origami (idk why but i feel like he makes cool ass origami) he can just say he made too many so hes giving them away yet you and maybe Abel are the only ones who received some…
- He wants so badly to be useful to you he gets so flustered and happy just hearing you say thanks when he answers your question about the assignment or when he lends you his materials
- Immediately stiffens when you make any sort of contact. Dont stop though, he can count the times hes been hugged on one hand
- Speaking of his touch starvation, he’d let you play with his hair and looks forward to it tbh he’d just rather not initiate anything it’s too much for his heart
- If you have him take down his hair and play with it (like braid it or try different hairstyles) he’d feel so content; ofc he’s nervous but at the same time he just feels so at peace as if it’s only you two in the world and all the people who have ever wronged him never existed in the first place
- He’s a little bit delulu, i fear
- He gets so nervous texting and calling you bc what if you tell him ily. No that could never happen. Wait but what if it did— do you see his dilemma?
- He’s a chronic overthinker and in a way its a bit sweet because he used to worry about you randomly saying you didn’t want to be friends with him but now he wouldn’t even consider that possibility; it just no longer enters his mind
- He’d also find himself drifting off, losing himself in thought and end up daydreaming about if you two were in a relationship
- It’s very innocent, it’s just you two being cute and going places together while holding hands and such until it drifts even further to imagining you two kissing
- His face is on fire and he has to stop thinking NOW but hes in too deep hes imagining kissing ice cream off the side of your mouth and other cliches like that it’s so over
- Abel wondering wth is wrong with his right hand; all he said was that he was going to make mother happy by doing his homework today meanwhile Abyss can no longer be normal
- The kissing is just his guilty pleasure but Abyss constantly imagines holding hands with you like if you walk too close to him his hands will get clammy and his fingertips will get cold because he wants to hold your hand but is scared to initiate it
- God forbid you actually hold his hand even for a second while he’s having his entire internal monologue. He will die. You killed him. How could you?
- He won’t let go though like. Ever . Handholding is his favorite thing 5ever and as soon as he gets a taste he’s hooked
- He likes handholding so much that if you held his hand enough times then one time he’d accidentally grab your hand and initiate for once (immediately gets flustered after but it counts)
- Really really REALLY likes when u trace over his magic lines. Ruins his life everytime and he just melts in your touch; subconsciously leans in and his face softens and EVERYTHING
- Ok i wasn’t gonna say it bc itd probably involve sm sneaking but: Sleepovers. IM JUST SAYING 🤞🤞🤞 I feel like this is where most of the softer moments happen tbh like your roommate being out and you two have a sleepover
- I think this is where the playing with his hair and tracing the lines on his face would happen if not this then when you’re bored in class
- Not a fan of PDA even if ur not dating so he does play with your hair but usually during the sleepovers if you’ll allow him (not quite trying new hairstyles like you do but letting it fall through his fingers, running his hands through it or just rubbing the ends with his fingers to feel how soft it is)
- If you are bald he would slightly hold the back of your head and rub your temples with his thumb to help you relax
- Idk ik i just went on about how hes a loser but I feel like when it comes to affection relating to hair or like anything not affectionate in a cliche sense he doesn’t really pay attention and does it without thinking; only realizes its too affectionate if you point it out (please do not, he feels very comfortable right now. He will stop and never do it again if you point it out)
- You have a lot of deep talks and give him encouraging words during sleepovers tbh it just gives you both time to just… enjoy each other uninterrupted
- Sometimes instinctually distances himself from you because you make his heart do somersaults and his head feels like it’ll explode around you though he doesn’t last long, he needs you with him everyday atp 😭
- Although the above is true, sometimes he gets clingy ish (just by your side all the time) and protective over you even knowing you aren’t his
A/N: a ridonkulous amount of these r based on things ive done erm. Ok. Ig next thing i should write is him with an equally loser gf i def fit the bill LOL
#abyss razor x reader#abyss razor#mashle#mashle x reader#mashle x you#abyss razor x you#mashle magic and muscles#pathetic loser#loserman x reader#boyfailure#ILY ABYSS#Why do i got a thing for men w two seconds of screentime#cutie patootie
286 notes
·
View notes
Text
my disappearance ♡
hiii this is cynthia most commonly known as gentlehue/jgracie/irlangelics <3 i wasnt gonna make a post like this for reasons i'll go thru under the cut but after having three of you reach out to me on pinterest i thought it'd be unfair to leave everyone in the dark 💗 tagging @luvusrry @findmeonvenus / @daystarpoet and @bloodwrittenletters thank u for checking up on me lovelies xx
okay so the main reason i deactivated yesterday was because i realised being on here was negatively impacting my productivity LOL as you all probably know (because i never shut up about it) im in my second to last year of high school and everything i do now and next year is what has the largest impact on what uni i get into which then has a pretty big impact on where i end up in the future basically LMAO 😭 my life is so busy these days between doing the whole ib itself which im still getting used to since the british system is so structured and tells you exactly what to do in comparison to ib where a lot of it is you doing your own thing & prepping for uni by researching diff courses and the lnat which is an exam i'll have to sit in order to apply to study law & also getting back into all my extracurricular/picking up new ones which is another thing i have to get used to since im SUCH an academically oriented person & a BUNCHHH of other things i wont be getting into rn 😭 and so i cannot afford to be lounging around in any way whatsoever right now!! this is the socmed app i spend the most time on and i tend to tell myself its ok cause im not replying to notifs im just scrolling which is so silly LOL but i need to eliminate that from my life soooo i left
a mini second reason why i left is smth thats gonna be rly hard for me to explain here & im pretty sure probs has smth to do w my ocd (another thing i dont rly like to talk ab that much so idk how many of u know this) but i have this thing where if something negatively impacts me or like if i have a negative association w it it becomes "imperfect" and i acc cannot have it around me like it physically disgusts me and i cant function or think or anything 😭 and thats what was happening w my tumblr account because of how it caused me soooo much procrastination and so little work done 😣 soz if this doesnt make any sense or if its weird but its smth ive had for years now and am slowly working on 😭 my perfectionism is so horrible too and tumblr makes it worse cause im always overthinking what my feed looks like 😫 like i cant have too many talking posts or too many asks or too many reblogs and im always doing them in a way that balances it out in my head and i spiral so bad over it 🙁
ANOTHER reason (wow lots of reasons) is cause ive begun to enjoy my real life so so much these days and dont want to be distracted by being online 😭 i love my friend group i love sixth form i love having a crush i love it all! a lot of my friends r graduating this year as well and so i probs wont be seeing them as often afterwards cause obvs theyre not all applying to unis in our city let alone our country !!! i dont wanna take this year for granted at ALL cause i'll so regret it if i do :(
the second thing im addressing is why i left w out saying anything LOL basically i knew if i posted smth and said my goodbyes i wouldn't commit to it at all 😭 and i need to seriously be disciplined w myself these days if i wanna be rich and traveling the world in 10 years 🫡
i dont know if i'll ever come back but im so so happy i got to know u all whether u knew me from jgracie or discovered me later on after i abandoned her im so glad i got to call u my lovely friends :) i carry a piece of you all wherever i go ♡ you know you'll always know me! i wont deactivate this account but i wont be active on it either unless i decide to fully come back, but if u send me an ask within this week i'll answer it xx
for those of you who are worried about my fics on jgracie, i made a backup account back in the summer and everything ive ever written is reblogged over there :) @cynarchives
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
Poorlittlekoi’s statement
Disclaimer. I, the poster, am not Koi
I am someone putting her thoughts and response to her situation into the public as I was encouraged to do so. I feel it is also necessary to bring this up as well.
I do not want to be affiliated with controversy any further.
——————————————————-
“this whole situation has messed with my head to the point where i cant even send a text to most people without worrying they are gonna leak it or use it against me in the future,, svlvnsore was just bored and found me really annoying shown in screenshot one…. not only that they also called me out for heavily referencing or tracing when they reposted an artpiece thats doing the same thing. Svlvn said they are on my ass because i didnt credit who i referenced, when the person they reposted didnt do the same either proof in screenshot two three and four. Another thing i caught on to is that they SPECIFICALLY said they didnt care that i self harmed or did horrible things to myself when they posted about me. i have anxiety, i overthink! of course im going to do bad things to myself, im mentally unwell. proof in screenshot 5… and for screenshot 6, this is only an assumption, but saying that svlvn "didnt know" is something that really throws me off. when someone makes a callout post on someone else, there will OBVIOUSLY be harassment. thats just my thought, i feel like they knew what they were doing since him and his bf arent very good people either. especially holding onto old dms and gathering them up to use it against me, when they could have handled the situation privately with me, rather than hide it behind my back.
all of this could have been prevented if they handled it differently, and that goes for me as well.
im fully aware im in the wrong, but these people are wrong in some places too. and i want people to realize that.
many artists in tcc trace, reference, all the time. i dont understand why im slandered for heavily referencing something, not tracing. theres proof of an artist doing this FROM THE ORIGINAL ARTIST BTW in my dms right now but i dont get them involved
am i handling this situation immaturely? maybe, but arent they doing the same by harassing me? absolutely.
when it comes to someone being racist/homophobic, people feel the need to harass this person to make them feel worse about what they did. this isnt how you handle a situation. harassing someone to the point they attempt suicide is just as bad as what i did, possibly even worse.
now i have recover slowly until i have the chance to even feel comfortable with myself again. i understand what i said and did was wrong, and im sitting here attempting to change and apologize to the people ive offended and hurt, but throwing that apology under the rug and making it seem like im guilt tripping is ridiculous.
so they cant say i didnt try to apologize, but nobody is guaranteed to accept my apology and thats okay. but putting it out there as if im guilt tripping when im giving reasons why i said it is not even giving me a chance to change
when it comes to growing up with a HUGE racist family, these words and beliefs become apart of my vocabulary and thoughts. its very hard to change that especially when i was always told "its just a word" and i hear it daily! growing up with these slurs has become so normal for me to say it just slips out with no worry, but ofc im seen as guilt tripping when i say this.
its different for each person, i saw a comment saying they grew up in a southern family and they dont say it, but thats them, not me.
people at school and during family events would peer pressure me into saying this slurs multiple times because they found it "funny." i slowly believed that as well.
i was a young teen being taught the wrong things, and seeing other people in tcc say it made me feel like i should say it as well to fit in and be edgy, since thats what the community is like
this situation is another lesson for me to learn, but other people in it need to learn that harassing someone isnt okay, either. especially when im trying to change, it doesnt make it any easier.”
#tccblr#tcc tumblr#tcc columbine#tcc fandom#teeceecee#zero day#eric and dylan#true cringe community#calvin gabriel#caldre#andre kriegman#cal gabriel#zero day movie#elephant 2003#alex frost#zero day 2003
53 notes
·
View notes
Text
Why Am I This Way - Psychology Answers
Note: hey guys! This will be a little series post mainly based on psychology. In order for me to congratulate myself for finally achieving my masters in clinical psychology I have decided to create these mini posts that will contain different questions that we often ask ourselves. In these questions I will provide psychological answers in which they will hopefully bring you a sense of understanding on yourself! Enjoy!
Note 2: This first Why Am I This Way will be based on the “How Am I” Section. Other sessions will include “Why do I behave this way?”, “How Others see me”, “What's Happening” and “How can I get better?”
This section will have the following parts: “I know I shouldn't but.. can I have another piece of cake?”; “I love to be alone.. am I weird?”; “Why do I procrastinate so much’”; “ Am I really a good person?”; “ I was just joking!”, “Why does it always happen to me?”, “Why do I hate working so much?” and “Should I be more egocentric?”
With that said, let's dive into it!
“How Am I” Section
“I know I shouldn't but.. can I have another piece of cake?”
What happens in the unconscious brain:
Based on Freud’s work, these type of questions that overwhelm us are usually thoughts linked with pent up guilt that is unconsciously working its way out
One thing is clear. Often, we don't realize the things that we think and we don't always understand our actions and our behaviors. When we stop to reflect on it, we are usually stuck in a sense of guilt for doing things that are against our values and morals and yet we cannot understand why we have done things that way.
Based on the most known theories of Freud, the ID and the superego (based on ID, EGO and SUPEREGO Theory) are actually the ones that are behind these guilty feelings of “should i do this or not, even if i know that i will regret it later”.
ID is the mind that is first formed when we are born. It is something rigid on our unconscious, something that is based on the principle of pleasure. The ID is constantly seeking gratification and pleasure in order to smooth our anguish within one self.
The superEgo is different, it is the last thing that is formatted in the unconscious (after the Ego) and it works on the principle of the world’s rules. Basically it is a part of us that comprehends the world around us and it tries to follow the rules and the interdictions that were instructed when we were younger.
Now this is why many of us struggles with this. Having craving desires about something, and that guilty feeling coming from the Superego because we have internalized that what we want is wrong.
Someone that has had a harsh childhood, who has been neglected or has seen their rules being too strict will often struggle with this, because they need to have their ID smoothed but they cannot bear the guilt.
This is what happens: ID wants to be fed with something comforting. Chocolate! so it stays in your head “let's have chocolate!” and the superego will whiplash right after “are you crazy? Having chocolate? you cant even fit in your pants and you want chocolate! you should be ashamed of yourself!”
This is basically how overthinking your worth will work, how one often develops Eating disorders for example or bad relationships with food, but this also happens with social relationships, addictions and any reward system.
The fear of the outside world usually unleashed that overwhelming anxiety that will after turn into guilt if you give in to your ID or it turns into restrictive punishment if you follow the Superego.
Many of us will put so much effort into controlling impulsive destructive thoughts and behaviors in order to muffle the critics of Superego but that often results in depression, anxiety and an affinity with other psychological problems.
So what can we do?
understand where those desires come from. If your ID is making you crave something, either food, social contact, a new dress, a new drink or anything that it is, ask yourself where this feeling comes from? Are you bored? are you sad? are you upset? Are you overly excited? understanding that process and allowing yourself not to be psychorigid is already a big improvement. find balance between rewarding yourself and being true to your rules. Also stop punishing yourself, You have done nothing wrong. You deserve to be happy and smoothed the same way you deserve to go beyond your addictions
Understand in which you fall. If you are the type to crave in in your desires it means these possibilities: Early trauma ou neglect, environmental stressors, maladaptive coping mechanism,, substance abuse, personality disorders, lack of emotional regulation skills and cultural and social influences
If you fall in the fragil superego, if you are too strict with yourself, it means these possibilities: weak parental influence, traumatic experience, overly harsh and permissive parenting, lack of role model, cultural influence, early childhood experiences like rejection and personality disorders.
For those who have balance between giving in desires and restraining, then congrats! You are a rather healthy being
Now that you know this, you have a start on where to work to become a better version of yourself
70 notes
·
View notes
Text
Why i am so excited to have the Bucktommy storyline
Buck, the wild child, the hot head, overthinker, the talker, always a little much, but thats him, and he is so so loved.
He is the little brother of his found family, and in their heads he will allways be just that, so he gets all these backhanded compliments, like
" he doesnt know your an Idiot yet, but he will love you anyway like we all do"
He is such a competent person/firefighters but sometimes he doesnt get taken serious because his ideas doesnt seem thought trough, and it looks like He is just doing stuff without thinking, but thats his neurodivergent brain, people with Adhd sometimes dont have the words for their Plans and Action, they just know it (its like that With my Brain, i dont say everybody is like this)
And then we have his past realtionships,
Abby, she really really liked him, but she had her own demons to deal with, she couldnt be what Buck needed.
Allie, she knew what she gets herself into, so she broke it off before she could really fall for him and i think thats very honorable.
Taylor got Buck, she knew exactly who he is, and she was there for him, but maybe they were to similar, i dont think it would have worked out in the long term.
Natalia, well, cant say much about her.
Our boy just wants to come home to somebody that gets him, not just says that, but really really gets him, shows up for him, takes him seriously and is his person.
And yes we could debate that he has Eddie, these two have a wonderfull friendship, and i admire that. Its deep, its vunerable, they are there for each other, both need eachother, and they trust eachother, its beautiful.
But for now, its exactly that, its a beautiful friendship.
(side note... The will? That doesnt make Buck a coparent, it makes him Chris' godfather basically)
And now to his current realtionship, Tommy. I think its perfect, and the first thing i want to point out, the comunication. Buck is a talker, but no comunicator, if people dont tell him exactly what they think, he is gonna asume what they think, and well, when was that ever a good thing right? There are a lot of examples where Bucks missing comunication turned into Problems.
Tommy does comunicate, i mean... He drive to his loft before his shift, to clear the air. After He kisses him, he doesnt run away, he asks him if that was okay and then asks him out on a date. Do we have to talk about the date? He was smooth, polite and open, he didnt run away before he cleared it up to him "your adorable but i dont think your ready" comunication my friends! The Coffee meet up? " you allready know i am interested" I mean how much clearer can it get? And also that he told him that the Coffee wasnt what he would order, its a small thing but i think its just as honest and important.
And he Shows up for him, Bachelorparty and wedding! He is there because of him. The scene where Buck looks on his phone before Tommy arrives? I could feel those butterflys, *somebody is here because of me* such an amazing feeling.
I could go on and on on how amazing the character choice of Tommy is but then this would get far too long, i am Sure there are a lot of posts that point out why its so cool to have an "old" Character back.
To get back to the start, Buck is loved, he is a Idiot but with a heart of gold, truly a golden Retriever.
But its the difference between *Buck, your such an Idiot, i love you anyway* to *i love you because you are an Idiot, Evan* that makes it for me.
Thanks for reading until here, i needed to get that out, feel free to add points!
And dont get me wrong, if Buddie is gonna Happen some day, i am 100% here for it because i trust the writers.
But for now i enjoy this mature and hopefully domestic realtionship for buck storyline waaay to much <3
#evan buckley#eddie diaz#911 abc#911 buddie#911#tommy kinard#evan buck buckely#tevan#bucktommy#lou ferrigno jr#oliver stark#911 buck
53 notes
·
View notes
Note
sun summer maiden au either trans or fem sun
(I have some set up to do, so not quite summer maiden au, but getting there)
Sun looked at himself in the mirror with a frown as he adjusted his shirt. He couldnt quite put a finger on why his reflection looked wrong today, not like he had changed anything. He was still wearing the button up shirt with all the buttons undone, his favorite pair of shorts, and his hair was combed enough to make it look like he had been awake for a lot longer than he really had.
He took his shirt off and put on a different one with no change. No matter what shirt he wore or how many times he changed his clothes, nothing felt right.
“And you give me a hard time for taking so long to get ready,” Neptune said as he stepped out of the shower. “We’re going to be late for class again if you dont hurry.”
Sun sighed and put on another shirt. “I’ll get to class, as soon as I can figure out what’s not feeling right for me.”
“Are your clothes itchy?”
“No, they feel fine. But every time I look at myself, it always looks… off.”
“Maybe you’re finally ready to wear a shirt correctly,” Scarlet suggested.
“Its not the shirt.” Sun pulled away from the mirror and started to finish getting ready for classes. “The shirt’s fine. Maybe I’m just overthinking it.”
Neptune smirked. “Overthinking would require you to start thinking at all.”
“I do plenty of thinking!” Sun retorted.
“Were you thinking when you skipped class yesterday and ended up with detention?” Scarlet asked.
“There was also the time you followed Weiss into the girls bathroom,” Neptune added.
“And dont forget the bo-staff incident.”
Sun rolled his eyes and picked up his pack for class. “I do plenty of thinking when I want to. Besides, lectures were never my thing and Weiss and I were trying to figure out dating plans. This is different though.”
“Different how?” Neptune asked.
“I… I dont know. Like I said, I think I’m overthinking it.”
“If you’re done thinking about it, we should start heading to class.”
Sun nodded and followed Neptune out towards class. His eyes almost seemed to venture towards each of the girls he passed as he took note of what they wore. Maybe he’d been spending too much time shopping with Weiss. She’d been trying to get him to change his outfits for months and every time he’d give a reason why he couldnt. He preferred having a bit of freedom with what he wore and he wasnt a fan of what she suggested. Though, he did have to admit that there were a few things he wanted to try.
He winced a bit as he felt Neptune hit his shoulder. “What was that for?”
“I was trying to ask if you’re really planning on cheating with Weiss,” Neptune answered.
“What? No, of course not.”
“You’ve been staring at the girls for a while.”
“I-I am just admiring how they look!” Sun lied. Well, it wasnt a total lie. He was admiring them, but not for that reason entirely. “Even here, most of them seem to take pride in how they look.”
“I think Weiss is rubbing off on you.”
“Probably not as much as you think.”
“You’ve never cared about how other girls looked before.”
I’ve always cared, Sun thought to himself as he continued to class. He never not cared, he just cared differently. Seeing what Yang and Arslan wore for combat gear did seem to make him question some of his own clothing choices among other things. Something he couldnt quite admit to himself.
“I think I’m going to skip class,” he said as he turned around to walk back to the dorms. “Take notes for me.”
Neptune reached for Sun’s collar. “You cant skip class again!”
Sun stopped as he felt Neptune pull on his collar and sighed. “I’m not exactly in the headspace to listen to a lecture. Besides, there’s something I need to take care of.”
“LIke what?”
“I’ll be back by lunch. I’ll tell you then.”
“Alright, but you better be in class.”
Sun nodded and started to make his way back to his dorm, pulling out his scroll and staring at Starr’s name on the contact list. He hadnt seen his cousin in years and there was no guarantee that she would help him. Though he wasnt sure… wasnt ready to try to talk to Weiss about this. She’d either laugh at him or dump him for the thought. How else was someone supposed to react to hearing that he wanted to try something more feminine? Still, he finally dialed her number and put up a smile when he heard her voice.
“Sun, is everything okay?” Starr asked. “You dont normally call out of the blue like this.”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Sun answered as he rubbed the back of his head. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something. Mind if I come by your dojo?”
“Dont you have class right now?”
“Yeah, but something came up and I’m going to miss it. But that doesnt matter, I.. I do need to talk to you privately. May I come over?”
“Sure. What’s going on anyway?”
“I’ll tell you when I’m there.”
“Alright, just dont bring trouble.”
“I never bring trouble,” Sun said.
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“What do you think?” Starr asked with a smile. “Because I think you look great.”
“I’m… I’m not sure,” Sun said as he adjusted the wrapping around his, well her chest. Starr had her way with him and there wasnt much of a guy left in the reflection. The chest wrap made his chest look less flat, the makeup softened up his face, even the gi that Starr had picked out for him made his arms look slimmer than normal. “Everything feels… different.”
“Its supposed to. I used my semblance to help you with your look, so you must really want this if it affected you this drastically.”
“How long will this last?”
“About an hour or two. Long enough for you to get a feel about all of this.”
Sun nodded and continued to stare at his reflection. There wasnt a doubt that this was something that he wanted, and while he was happy he had a couple hours to see how he’d look, he still wanst sure if he was ready to take the plunge. While he was certain his team would support him, he was sure Neptune would give him a hard time about it. Then there was Weiss. After months of dating, he still didnt know she’d react to him wanting to become a woman.
Starr smiled at him and rubbed his shoulders. “If you like this, I know a few people who can help. Though, you do have to be careful with Polaris. She’ll talk your ears off about the magic of the maidens.”
“The maidens?” Sun asked. “From the fairytale, right?”
“Those same ones,” Starr answered as she put away her makeup. “She swears the stories are real and that the magic the maidens hold can help someone transition. Something about shaping the body of the wielder to match their mind. But that’s all it is, a story.”
Sun nodded but thought about what Starr had said. The maidens may have just been a story, but there had to be a bit of truth somewhere to it. And if he could find one, maybe they could help. “But Polaris can help, right?”
“Yeah. She can either make some medicine for you to take to transition, or she can use her semblance to speed up the process… you know, whichever you prefer.”
Sun smiled and pulled away from the mirror to give Starr a hug. “Thank you!”
“Dont mention it. But please promise to come visit more often.”
“I will.”
13 notes
·
View notes
Note
Could you do either BTAS Mad Hatter or Riddler as platonic yanderes? Perhaps with a nerdy non-binary reader?
im in a hattery mood tonight, so we'll start with him and maybe ill do riddler at a later date. also, didnt know what specifically you wanted when you said nerdy, so i went in terms of hobbies
platonic!yandere!btas!jervis tetch x nerdy!nonbinary!reader
-im gonna start this after hes already established as the mad hatter and has already moved on from alice (side note- its weird that he only had one episode where he was after her, right?)
-he doesnt know what came over him, he just saw the most interesting person walking by his hideout and simply had to follow them home! hes used to flights of fancy regarding random people, but most of his fixations fade after only a few days. the only people who have held his attention for longer have been alice and now you. he loved alice, and if you captivate him like she did, he must love you too, right...? but then, why does his interest in you feel so different?
-he cant exactly bump into you in public, hes a wanted criminal, but he has to meet you somehow. he feels like if he just spoke to you, he could make sense of his feelings. so he dons a disguise and follows you to the library. hes seen all the little pins and patches on your clothing, he knows what sort of books you like, so he stations himself in that aisle, hoping he'll be able to chat with you
-and lucky him, you reach for a book right next to him! he takes note of the title- its no alice in wonderland, but it seems interesting enough. he asks you if its any good, and that leads to a wonderful conversation about literature! oh, hes so delighted to be speaking to you, especially when you mention your schedule for library visits. he already knew, of course, but now he can freely pop up there without seeming like a stalker. you part ways for the day, but you cant help but notice how he watches you as you leave...
-you become good friends soon, meeting at the library and discussing what youve read lately. youve never spoken to someone who listens so intently when you ramble about your interests, and its refreshing when he apologizes after incorrectly assuming your pronouns. and hes so respectful, promising to never give you a reason to correct him again. its a bit strange how much he cares, seeing that youve only known each other for a month or so, but nobodys really tried to be your friend before, so maybe youre just overthinking it
-you call him a good friend to his face, and he... sort of freezes. with alice, it always stung when she called him a friend, but with you? it feels like everything finally makes sense. of course he wasnt romantically attracted to you, youre nothing like alice! his mind had never wandered to thoughts of kissing or marriage like it had when he was pining for her, it had always been thoughts of a nice tea party and the like! he loved you, yes, but just as friends! friends... what a wonderful, positively frabjous word!
-after his little epiphany, he seems much brighter and eager than he did when you first met. that just makes it all the scarier when youre late to your library hangout after an unfortunate mugging. despite assuring jervis that youre fine and the only thing you really cared about losing was one of your pins, you can hear him muttering under his breath about how he wont let this stand. the mood is off for the rest of the day, but theres nothing to be done about it
-you wake up the next morning to a knock at the door. its jervis, in full hatter attire, presenting your stolen pin to you. while you question how you didnt notice that your library friend was a notorious criminal, he locks the door behind him and makes himself comfortable. he sits you down and explains how he was drawn to you from the moment he saw you, and he simply had to know you better. he regrets having to lie about his identity, but it was necessary, dont you see? if he was recognized, he never wouldve gotten the chance to become such good friends with you! but of course, he cant let his dearest friend get hurt! he had always worried for your safety, but your mugging was the last straw. he simply cant allow you to go out into gotham anymore, its far too dangerous!
-before you can protest, he slips a card behind your ear and you black out. when you wake up, youre in his hideout, in a room specifically tailored to you. your favorite books are on the shelves, theres posters of your favorite movies and shows on the walls, the tv has a few consoles plugged into it, he even got records of all your favorite music! here, he explains, youll be kept safe and happy. your own personal wonderland
-if youre alright with this new arrangement, expect jervis to hover over everything you do. not because hes suspicious, he just wants to understand your interests. he'll get you unbirthday gifts every day (except your birthday, of course), and youll have tea parties at least once a week. oh, what a wonderful time youll have together!
-if you still want to leave... oh, dear. he doesnt take rejection well, he never has. its almost worse this time, because you considered him a friend before! whats changed? hes still the same man you met all those weeks ago, why wouldnt you want to be friends with him now? hes learned from alice, a card on your head isnt the solution to his problem, but boy is he tempted. he supposes youll just have to spend some time alone before youll see reason. despite all the entertainment in your room, you still need human interaction, so youll probably go a bit mad before you see him again. but at least you want to spend time with him now! he doesnt care about your sanity, just that youre with him. after all, we're all mad here
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
curiosity killed the cat general
jing yuan and mean! cat!hybrid reader
where jing yuan has always been eyeing on you yet you seem uninterested and distant towards him however he stumbled across your photobook filled with his pictures when it fell out your pocket.
gn! reader, pining of some kind. reader is implied to wear lipstick. in celebration for jing yuan’s release ^_^
you are fu xuan’s assistant and you sometimes send out reports to general jing yuan when she is extremely busy. upon giving out reports to him, you couldnt help but feel his gaze. you feel yourself go red because how can somebody like him even stare at you. you cant deny he is extremely handsome and charming, just simply eye candy to look at. you couldnt help that your tail would slightly wag when you talk to him. he is so gentle with you and kind but you didnt want your slight admiration (little did you know you have a big ass crush on him you just deny it )for him to be obvious so you decide to be mean and avoid him like the plague. however it was hard to resist that when he constantly gives you food or any random thing every after report.
your crush for him certainly didn’t go unnoticed by a certain foxian lady and of course fu xuan. tingyun would notice how you look at the general and gently grabbed you aside to tell you she has pictures of him to give you for free. you were opposed to it at first but you took the pictures anyway. she giggled and said “hm. be thankful im not charging you like the others~ keep this a secret okay? afterall, the general does have keen eye on you. only you.”
one afternoon, you were confronted by your overworked madame about your little crush since she found out about your secret. well she knew about it all along, she just didnt confront you.
“your taste in men is absolutely terrible. you’re my best assistant yet… you choose to have a crush on the worst general EVER?” fu xuan sighed disappointingly.
“where is this coming from i-i dont like him that way and could you keep it down. i dont like him!” you denied, cat ears going back, tail going straight up. feeling a bit hissy.
“then why do you keep this then hm? how come i see lady tingyun provide you these pictures? did i mention the lipstick marks all over it. could my dear assistant, who so terribly denies their crush for the general, explain?” fu xuan sarcastically questioned. she showed the photobook and flips through it with her not so evil grin.
“stop! im not gonna do anything for you for a week.” you hissed. blood rushed to your face from the embarrassment and from blushing.
“okay then you fiesty kitten. i’ll give this to your little jing yuan and tell him its from you.” she blackmailed. woah… who knew the cat had its claws.
“i-i apologize lady fu xuan. but please i beg of you not to, please! i’ll do more than i have to. i’ll cook you all your meals. i promise. just dont give it to general jing yuan.” you pleaded. you were internally screaming, he cannot know.
fu xuan sighed and then chuckled. she has never seen her assistant so out of character. she gave the photobook to you as you sighed in relief. she then gave you a pieces of unwanted advice about how to confess yadayada. she also scolded you for overthinking. even though she does not like jing yuan, she wants to support her lovely assistant. you have helped her in a lot of things and it was just right for her to support you.
“thank you lady fu xuan.“ you smiled at her, parting ways as it was already late at night. what you didnt know was that your photobook fell. you were so tired from today’s work, running around to clear errands, all you care about was sleep.
early morning came and the general wanted to clear his mind by getting fresh air to get the morning started. strangely he saw something on the ground and he was curious about what it was. it was a photobook… with cute cat stickers on it. the only cat person he frequently saw was you. he noticed your items were cat themed which he found adorable.
he was even more intrigued when he saw pictures of himself with lipstick marks. his lips formed a smirk when he saw the ‘(name) x jing yuan <888’ engraved in one of the pictures. he always had his eye on you and would frequently ask fu xuan and tingyun about you. he thought you were attractive and loyal and most importantly a cat. he is the biggest cat person he knows. he spoils mimi so much why cant he spoil you? he does get hurt whenever youre so cold and distant. he would do anything to make you warm up to him. he did notice recently you were slowly opening up to him though you still shut him out.
thankfully he found your photobook and is now relieved that the feelings are mutual. with a devilish grin, he sent out a messenger to fu xuan and asked for only your assistance today. his heart is fluttering because all he could think of was you. all day everyday. he wonders what happens if he teases you? if he kissed your hands? if he touched your ears? so many questions spiraled.
afternoon finally came.
“good afternoon general jing yuan. you asked for me?” you politely said. aeons. you were anxious but you didnt know why. you couldnt stop staring at his figure so you looked down. he finally turned around with something familiar in his hands, you notice his majestic fingers flipping through the pages. wait is that your photobook… your photobook!
“hmmmm my dearest kitten, seems like you dropped your precious belonging. can you give me a full explanation for this photo album? i assume its yours since it said in one of the pages ‘(name) x jing yuan’ what? are just you going to deny it even though i have proof?“ he stood up walking towards you. going nearer and nearer.
you look down and closed your eyes. he then slowly grabbed your chin. you could feel the tantalizing electricity in his hand. you feel his presence tower you. you felt like a mouse.
“eyes up here.~” he cooed. oh how devilish.
you were speechless and exploding. you were flustered. tail twitching, ears cowering.
“hm what happened~ cat got your tongue?”
<8
#honkai star rail#jing yuan#jing yuan x reader#jing yuan honkai#jing yuan fluff#honkai star rail fluff#pt 2?#hsr#hsr jing yuan#hsr x reader
310 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sooo i cant stop overthink about "what if ppl thinks that im stealing art, just because my art style always changes" literally everytime :")
Im just a small artist that cant stop think like "damn why my drawing sucks i should do something different" "Damn maybe i should make my artstyle more simple" "Damn i should just draw my art just like my old artstyle" " Damn i wanna have an artstyle like them" DAMN
And also bc i like to experiment a new things when i draw, i mean come on ofc its normal for artist
But still it actually feel really weird when you post an art with different artstyle everytime :|
Welp thats all, hope y'all understand [:`
O damn y'all still reading?
Well then so i really really appreciate y'all support, y'all been stab my back with motivation!
34 notes
·
View notes
Note
If Alfred really did put up the memorial case to punish Bruce that would be insanely cruel of him. Why do you think Bruce didn't say anything if we go with your version? And what does Bruce say once Dick confronts him about it, thinking this is another one of Bruce's bad coping mechanisms instead of Alfred's actions? How does their parent/employee and son/employer relationship change after this? Does it at all? Did Bruce just lie down and take it, blaming himself again and thinking he's right to be punished? Does he agree with Alfred that he doesn't deserve to forget even for a second? (Not that he could). Does anybody else know about this??? Dick, Babs, Tim, Leslie or someone?
I'm genuinely curious and interested in this idea and I hope I didn't come across as rude because that wasn't my intention. Would you like to talk more about it? What are your thoughts about these questions?
Hi i actually love all these questions i just have this terrible disease called overthinking my answers to asks and then forgetting to actually answer them!!! So this is going to be a mess, but answered.
Now the fact that Alfred put up the memorial case is something i always thought was canon in the original elseworlds (The Dark Knight Returns) that it originated from, but when i went to look for proof recently i couldn’t find it. So its one of those things where i genuinely dont know if i imagined that or i just cant remember where to look.
Bruce wouldn’t confront Alfred over it because if theres one thing shown consistently in canon its that Alfred has a terrible time respecting Bruces boundaries and decisions if he disagrees with them. Some of this can be reasonable - Bruce does have a very dangerously hobby! And some of this is just bullshit “i raised you so now i can do and say what i want” parenting. So i think Bruce would say nothing because it would accomplish nothing, despite the cave being his space, and also because he has a guilt complex so big he probably thinks he deserves to be confronted with his “failure” every time he’s down there.
I dont think he would tell Dick who put the memorial up for similar reasons - Alfred is one of the people i think Dick had contact with even when he wasnt talking to Bruce, which means if Bruce pushes them apart by revealing what Alfred did, he could risk one of the few stable connections Dick still has to Gotham. And i dont think he would do that, if Dick was already mad at him anyways.
I dont think anyone knows about who put the case up. Remember, at this point Bruce is living alone in the manor with Alfred, and the case is already up (presumably) when Tim starts, Leslie rarely comes down there, and Babs was still recovering from her own Joker attack (which chronologically happened before Jason died). So no. If anyone would know it would be Clark or Diana, because Clark would see how Bruce’s hands shake every time he brushes by it and Diana would ask if this was truly a memorial fitting for Robin, and then realize Bruce wasnt looking at it like someone who chose to see that every day.
And yeah, its very cruel on Alfreds part. It shows a deep misunderstanding of Bruce and his ideals and mission as well, which is fascinating when you take it together with Alfreds encouragement and enabling of Robin as a position, and his constant heckling of Batman as a concept. I think Alfred views Batman, on some level, as a disappointment to the Wayne Legacy. Even if he didnt put it up to punish Bruce in particular, (which is the harshest possible reading, i admit) it is still cruel!
Idk its a fun little concept to play around with isnt it
#asks#do i tag this#anti alfred pennyworth#??? i dont want it to show up in alfies tags#hopefully that works
23 notes
·
View notes