#im gonna cry myself to sleep<33

[emryswisdom]

when uther dies but you aren't allowed to even be happy abt it bcuz his death just means merlin's absolute devastation and that arthur hates magic again

[the-kipsabian]

.

[oreowooyoung]

pirate!jongho x stowaway fem!reader drabble

warnings: mentions of blood & injuries

rating: 14+

note: i’ve never seen a specific pirate jongho fic written and i thought why not try and write smth myself :,D idk if this is actually good i kinda just threw words down and hoped for the best lmao… i’m not super good at writing lol- all and any feedback would be appreciated <3 if enough people enjoy it i might continue it :3 (i know i left at an awkward spot ;-;) so plz let me know what you think <33

do not copy, translate, steal, or revise my writing!!

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

your head spun. you were dizzy and your vision was blurred. everything hurt. you knew you should probably try and stop the blood coming from the sword cut on your arm, but you were just so tired. you were in a safe enough spot. (as safe as you can be stowed away in an unknown vessel) you were hidden between two large crates with a rough cloth you had found covering your body. i’ll just rest my eyes for a moment… you thought to yourself taking deep breaths to try and calm your thundering heart. that moment turned to a few hours. 

-

you woke to the sound of heavy footsteps coming down the ladder that leads into the room you’re in. the one you fell down trying to get down earlier that day. earlier that day or yesterday… you can’t remember… everything just feels so fuzzy. you try to keep your breathing quiet as you hear the footsteps get closer. you shift slightly and barely keep down the cry that builds in your throat from moving. everything hurts and it just the smallest move made you want to go back to sleep that instant.

 “can you check how full the water barrels are? im gonna check the crates” a man’s voice asked, it was deep but soft and if you weren’t in the situation you are in you might’ve wanted to hear him talk on and on. the footsteps came closer to your hiding spot and u held your breath hoping he’d not look to closely and see you. “yah the extra blankets fell again” he mumbled to himself, annoyed, as he grabbed the rough cloth off and revealed your hiding spot. “WOOYOUNG! COME HERE NOW” the man yelled as he grabbed your arm pulling you out from where u had been sitting. you were unable to hide your cry of pain when he pulled you to stand. you barely could, the world was spinning and your knees almost buckled after putting weight on your right foot. the other man, wooyoung, ran over quickly after hearing him call. “what the hell jongho-“ he stopped himself after seeing you. you were sure you looked terrible, probably covered in blood and barely able to stand on your own.  “looks like we’ve got ourselves a stowaway.” jongho said. “and a girl too” wooyoung added. your heart felt like it was about to fly out of your chest, you hands were shaking and you tried to control your breathing “m’sorry-“ you rasped out, your voice scratchy and strained from little use. you whimpered in pain when jongho started to pull you towards the ladder that led out of the storage room. wooyoung was just watching, shocked. “come on woo, she’s obviously injured and we need to take her to captain.”

[ofallplaceswhythis]

tcoptp thoughts pt.16

the black brothers angst better be healing

remus and tomny will be the death of me

every wolfstar fanfic needs to have sirius sleeping in remus' bed while james loos for him blissfully unaware

Yayy regulus and remus <33 [nevermind he got angry pretty fast]

Lol wtf is with remus and his fangirls random girls saying hi get that nick nelson thing out of my face this isnt heartstopper

REGULUS?! fucking prank wars gonna start between them now

Marlene its ok im on your side

remus getting chased by girls is his villain origin story

OMG REGULUS IS TRANS IN THIS?!?!

trish is like that random person in class who you think is just off-putting but they're actually really cool and just give you bits of information like a treat of friendship

i love their trio can they please hang out more?? please please ple-

remus and regulus are back <3

impossible improbable, sirius and nikolai would have loved each other istg there has to be one fanfic where they met

'i look for you in other people' remus ik you write poems but this is top tier poetry i cant believe someone actually wrote this

think this deserves a special point but mots putting disaster girl author notes seems fitting and creepy and now im scared

me making myself forget every wolfstar angst that ever happens is a form of self care otherwise i'll cry

............ just kill me at this point why dont you <33

brb guys smt got in my eye

.........holy fuck,,, never going to recover

is this some sort of "the prank" equivalent cause idk how i feel about that (can anything be worse than this?)

EFFIE YOU ARE THE GREATEST MOM IN EXISTENCE

'bite me, suspender stanley' im crying 💀💀

kinda dont like sirius rn and my mind is viciously attacking me for it

ok so remus ran away and is now with tomny, amazing fantastic gl-

never have i felt more pain than i did rn

this is the weirdest take on the miscommunication trope ive seen

hi guys can you please sort the fuck out of your shit? thanks <3

...do the girls know somehow or they just guessed? wont be suprised either way tbh they can actually talk about their feelings

how the fuck is remus suprised that people can actually guess what he and sirius were doing its so obvious like asdfghjklzxcvbnm

please please please please please please please please stop

'im so fucking mental about you' asdfghjklzxcvbnmqwertyuiop

'im not a poet' 'part-time then' THE TITLE'S HERE HGHGDHDSUI

SUNFLOWER FUCKING IN THE BATHROOM GSDGSDGSGFGRS

'youre like a dad to me' asdfghjklqwertyuiopzxcvbnmabcdefghijk

TOMNY MEETING THE GUYS YES ASDFGHJKLQWERTYUIOP

K what happened with tomny and sirius cause im concerned that sirius will actually throttle/kill him.

[pretty-chaotic-world]

if my BPD can scream

1. I wish i could have a normal love... but no, my brain wants to worship every little detail of you until it drives me insane

2. sorry i pushed you away i felt abandoned and suicidal 

3. I’m sick of going to bed and knowing things won’t be better tomorrow 

4. I'll ask you thousands times if you really love, please don't get annoyed

5. I'll create "drama" and mishaps only to feel like I'm in home

6. i’m afraid that one day my anger will overshadow the little love i still have left for the world

7. I feel numb. No tears, no anger, nothing. Just going through the same day again and again. I would rather just sleep without waking up.

8. I'm so tired of everytime one small argument or inconvenience breaks out I want to end it and self destruct, it's so draining. 

9. I want to stop feeling anything and when i actually don't it breaks my heart but I can't cry it out.

10. "its all in your head" well duh where tf else is it gonna be??? in my fucking kidneys????

11. I am constantly between wanting people to care about me and wanting them not to so I can hurt myself without feeling guilty 

12. Psychiatrist told me there is no cure for bpd and I've to change myself. Well why cant they just let me die then?

13. Until you live with bpd you'll never know what it's like to be too much and not enough at the same time.

14. i know im constantly too much for everyone but sometimes i just want to be enough for someone

15. if he will leave me, my next diagnosis will be of "sociopath"

16. im so jealous of all the people who see him and touch him and talk to him every single day it should be me me me me 

17. oh I got my hair coloured. why? because I can't hurt myself anymore 

18. "you're so distant" because you can't handle my abandonment issues.

19. My younger self disappoint me a lot. like why were you begging people to stay in your life? ohh no worries I know the answer

20. I wanna throw a plate against the wall, stab a knife through my hand, destroy my laptop with a hammer, smash my door in with an axe and spray graffiti all over the walls of my room 

21. Why shouldn’t I be mad? Why can’t I just be angry and be allowed to feel it? Why can’t I burn everything down?

22. I have to watch my mouth every fucking second to make sure I don't destroy every relation I have coz apparently social life matters!!

23. Isnt it fucked up how he got away with every horrible thing he made me experience and I’m the one who has to live with myself feeling absolutely fucking worthless 

24. I don't deserve food and love. im a horrible person.

25. this is how my eating cycle goes

feeling weak coz i haven't ate anything -> eat -> purge -> feeling guilty after purging -> eat more -> feeling guilty after eating so much -> cry coz you don't know what's happening

26. the diagnosis makes me believe I'm not insane just lil emo ig!! NOOOO YOU'RE INSANE

27. “don’t let it bother u” baby i’m gonna be bothered by this for the next 10 years 

28. if I tell you I love you its equivalent to I can kill someone for you

29. Actually upon further inspection that shit really hurt my feelings 

30. I don't dive into insecurity anymore, i drown in self-loathe

31. i shut up in between group convo coz I know I'll talk invaluable shit and nobody really cares what I say until it's psychology class

32. "if you are fully aware of yourself, why do you keep acting like that?" slapping self awareness on top of bpd only grants the ability to watch yourself self-destruct straight from the vip section thats all it does literally

33. “Where do you see yourself in the future” building a cult for mentally ill people 

34. ofc I've a praise kind i was ignored as a child

35. I'm much better than I was before. you know why coz I don't to air now and don't see monsters walking by side all the time

36. No I don't want to self harm anymore I need to kill that fucking monster

37. Don't mind me, I'm just casually sabotaging all my positive relationships with negative delusions because my life doesn't feel real unless something dramatic and destructive is constantly occurring 

38. i don’t care i don’t care i don’t care (im going to sob my fucking eyes out)

39. “Stop making your disorder your personality” I have a fucking personality disorder for god sake

40. turning my mental illnesses into kinks and calling it the BDSM-5 

41. "destroy something precious while you're in rage" ohh yeaa and then I'll do that again and again 

42. what I hate most about my BPD is the fact that I have started doubting every emotion that I’ve ever felt in my life, whether it’s love, my grief through multiple traumas, or my anger, & it’s so saddening. It has actually led me to start questioning my reality.

43. if I need medication to stay alive, am I really meant to be here?

44. it's either be alone without 75% of my symptoms, or be with someone and display the most horrendous unstable awful version of myself. why do i have to choose between love & happiness or peace & stability?

45. That fucking bpd rage where everyone's voices makes you want to scream and every noise around you makes you want to sh and you're so mad you can almost feel the cuts everywhere 

46. getting worked up to the point of becoming physically ill (throwing up/stomach issues etc) because you felt rejected/abandoned by your favourite person  

47. i wish my trauma made me kind as everyone says but i’m becoming what i fear the most- a monster.

48. imagine getting diagnosed with a personality disorder and the only visible representation of that disorder is an animated horse man, a sociopathic sitcom character from philadelphia, and darth vader

[anixknowsnothin]

Aniii did u unfollow me accidentally again?

If yes, it's okay

If it wasn't accidentally im gonna cry myself to sleep

If you didn't unfollow and it's just tumblr messing up im sorry

Love u any way <33

hi red i promise i did not unfollow you accidentally again

I DID NOT EVEN MEAN TO IM SO SORRY

i love you bro i would never unfollow you. please you're my first mutual on this hellsite and i would never have a problem with you, you could literally be a serial killer and ill love you

[prentissluvr]

OKAY. it’s morning. it’s time to dissect. clear mind (4 hours of sleep. it’s okay.)

TO START. i love all of your fics ESP those that really have an overarching story, but these smaller ones you do really have my heart because they’re so comforting to read. like yeah!! nothing bad is ever going to happen!! wdym?? i’m just sitting in a stolen car with sam winchester rn, nothing bad ever happens!!

i also love LOVED the casual type of description style you went with with this chapter. your writings are always a meal, and i love angst and stuff you’re gonna get me crying with, but the occasional strictly fluff, mutual pining work is so nice to read. like you’ve got me BLUSHING at work reading this a second time to write this.

“”thanks,” you mumble, trying to sound as casual as possible as you feel his strong thighs under your own.” CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS. RQ. LIKE. you got me SMILING HARDCORE AT MY PHONE. PUPILS ARE DILATED RN!!! hello. i’m freaking out??? this sentence is so incredibly simple but it speaks so much truth bc YES!! that’s what you do when you pine! like please. make marí’s sam winchester real and in love with me.

THIS TOO: “you’re not helping yourself. or maybe you are. you can’t really tell, because it’s sort of hard to breathe with his muscled forearm pressed up against your stomach.” this drove me insane, and not just bc it’s so INCREDIBLY SEXY AND HOT TO READ, but because of the internal monologue. i love first person because i feel like you connect with the internal monologue with the character, but i prefer second & third. now, having an internal monologue in second and third person, really just sets that precedent that’s gonna ruin every other writing for me. i love feeling this connection with the reader’s character by feeling their (very realistic) thoughts and feelings.

AND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE FINAL PARAGRAPH. i always struggle with not making endings cheesy or too short, and you have the perfect balance. every single work of yours (in my opinion) ends with a perfect mix of poetry and prose to leave the reader satisfied, but also with an ability to control the narrative of the ending (in my opinion, sam and reader defo got together after. i don’t make the rules. that sexual tension needs to be relieved your honour!!!)

TL;DR, another amazing and brilliant work, marí! can’t wait to see what’s next 🧡

(P.S., also listened to guilty as sin? while reading this. took me to a whole other celestial dimension.)

oh grace you seriously are just too good to me IM CRYINGGGG I LOVE YOU SO BADDDD <333333

(feel you on the 4 hours of sleep!! i think i got exactly that much as well LMAO)

first of all, i'm just so grateful that you like all of my fics, no matter what kind. and i'm so so so grateful that you'd take all the time to tell me all of this!!! it really makes me feel so happy and good about myself and make me wanna keep writing more and more and more!!! so thank you so so so much for that.

and you're so right!! nothing bad ever happens!! ever ever ever!! heh...

and honestly i ended up liking the angst and all that, but fluff is where my heart lies!! it's my happy place i think, and it's what i've always been most comfortable writing tbh. so i'm really glad that you enjoy my pure fluff works like this one hehe (good luck at work!! don't get in trouble for sending asks and being the nicest human to me on earth ilysm)

it makes me crazy happy that something so simple would speak volumes to you like this!! it means so much!!! it makes me feel like "omg! it's working! the words thingy that i've been trying to do! it's working! yayayayay!!!" and i'm so so glad you enjoy the way i use second person in my writing and that it successfully connects you to the reader's character!!! <33

and i can't tell you how flattered i am that you think my endings are nice and balanced! honestly, i worry about them being a little cheesy too, but i actually kinda like cheesy endings so i try not to sweat it LOL but i'm seriously screaming at how you described how you feel about my endings with the prose and poetry, and you saying that i have a control over the narrative that you can actually sense is just amazing to me. thank you so so so dearly <33 (and i agree!! they absolutely got together, especially because dean leaves them alone in the motel room and you're forced to acknowledge your feelings because you might actually implode if you don't HAHA)

not the tl;dr HAHA I READ IT ALL FIVE TIMES OVER AGAIN !!! thank you so so so so so so so much for your kind words and support ilysm <3

(oH MY GOD I CAN ONLY IMAGINE HOW GOOD THAT SONG WOULD BE TO LISTEN WITH THIS FIC WOWOW)

[svnflowermoon]

☕️ rant about HMHAS!!! i love this album omg im listening to it for the first time ahhhh

AHHH YAY HI OMG

btw i literally adore you and your asks answering these asks makes me so happy i love yapping <33 fair warning this is one of my current hyperfixations so this is a LOT and you do not have to read all of it lmao (i didn't even realise how much there was until i'd written it all im so sorry 😭😭😭)

hmhas is literally one of my favourite albums it's one of the few albums where i genuinely can't find a song i dislike

im gonna go through each song bc i have no self control and i adore them all oops i love yapping

okay so skinny OH MY GODDDD makes me sob it's so :((( it hits me right in the heart and i am obsessed with songs that make me feel something so this is one of my favs from the album i loveee her vocals in it and my fav lyrics are "when i step of the stage, i'm a bird in a cage, i'm a dog in a dog pound. and you said i was a secret, but you didn't get to keep it" it's so AHHHHH and also "but the old me is still me and maybe the real me and i think she's pretty" because it's so relatable it makes me cryyy

lunch!!!! what a fucking bop!!!! i've ranted a lot abt this song on this blog so i'm gonna try to keep this precise (lmao impossible) i think this song altered my brain chemistry. im a BIG fan of songs i can dance to and this is such an ass shaking song so its absolutely perfect. also THE MUSIC VIDEO AHFHSBXBAJANA. the lyric "she's the headlights, i'm the deer" literally AHHHH so mecore i am indeed a deer in the headlights. (also this song live is IMMACULATE)

CHIHIRO MY BELOVED. I AM OBSESSED NO ONE UNDERSTANDSSSSS UGH also spirited away/and studio ghibli references make me unbelievably happy!! THE VOCALS THE BEAT THE EVERYTHING I HAVE NO WORDS AHFHAABCNEHSB i don't even have a favourite lyric just like the whole song is so omg omg omg!!!! also the meaning behind it is so :(((( (at least how i interpret it)

BIRDS OF A FEATHERRRRR i love love i love this and it's gonna be in heartstopper which just makes it even better. i love happy songs this is such a dancing around the kitchen while baking song (also a long car drive to the beach kinda song) i adore this song no one understandsss i love love i hope someone feels like this about me one day ughhh. fav lyrics (there's a lot but I've written so much already sooo) "and i don't know what i'm crying for, i don't think i could love you more"

okay wildflower. wildflower my absolute beloved the love of my life. i love this song with my whole heart and no one understands it as much as me. "BUT I SEE HERRRR IN THE BACK OF MY MINDDDD ALL THE TIMEEEE LIKE A FEVERRRR LIKE I'M BURNING ALIVEEEE LIKE A SIGN" "i know you didn't mean to hurt me so i kept it to myself" AHHHHHHHHHHH literally on repeat on my mind every night when I'm trying to sleep this is my song this is my song no one understands this is like the halley's comet of hmhas i could go on about it forever and ever and ever but i'm already yapping so i'll stfu

you're probably sick of me by now if you've even read this far but we still have more songs and i've committed i'm so sorry ahfhandbajba i'll try to make the rest shroter

THE GREATESTTTTT literally sobbing screaming crying these lyrics it's so ughhhh its a littleeeee too relatble "and you don't wanna know how alone i've been, let you come and go, whatever state i'm in" OH MY GOD BILLIE YOU DIDNT HAVE TO RIP MY HEART OUT 😭😭😭😭 the soft vocals and the guitar ughhhhh im in loveeee AND THE SWITCH TO THE FULLY BELTING OUT THE LYRICS AND THE DRUM AND UGHHH NEVER GETTING OVER THAT

l'amour de ma vie oh my goddddd i love how she drags out the vocals and the synths and oh my goddddd the lyrics and it's somehow such a ass shaking song despite the depressing lyrics?? and the laugh after "but you moved on... immediately" AHHHH i adore when signers put little laughs or voice notes or something in their songs it makes me so :)))) i adore the extended edit it's such a bop and it's lowkey the best part of the song

THE DINER WHAT A FUCKING BOP i'm obsessed with it even though it originally reminded me of kahoot music it now reminds me of don't smile at me which is my fav ep ever soooo i love itttt I'm obsessed (and the number at the end??? that was so cool)

i adoreeee bittersuite part of it reminds me of i didn't change my number from happier than ever and i loveeee that i love the synths in it and the "if this is how i die, that's alright" part drives me insaneee also I LOVE the transition from bittersuite to blue

BLUEEEEE LITERAL LOVE OF MY LIFE im so glad she released it the vocals are insane and the links to skinny (bird in a cage) and birds of a feather drive me insaneee also i love that it has two parts hehe

okay yapping over i love you <33

[oneshortlove]

My dearest Mimi, I hope you're having an absolutely beautiful day! Remember to feel hugged and loved by me and to have the biggest and most absolute banger of a day. Don't forget to drink water and eat something, sleep enough and take breaks and rest! Thank you for being a super duper ultra mega cool friend and even though I've only known you for a couple of days it feels like I've known you forever <3 From your Kiwi <3 ps. I rlly love the flower crowns you made me <33

IM GONNA CRY KIWI

This is so beautiful?? I'm can't stop shaking haha!!

Kiwiiii🥺 Thank you for this, this has made my day so much better💞 I hope and wish only the greatest and beautiful treasures for you! Ahh I'm so happy!!! I'm going to look at this for many years to remind myself how beautiful love is. This will keep me going for many years to come!!

I'm so happy to have met you truly💓💖

I feel so lucky oh my😭 thank you for being alive and kind!! 💜💐💙

[fizzlingdrinks]

You know what?

You deserve compliments.

Some of this is gonna sound corny, but I've done my best to compliment you fairly without that many generic compliments, cus you deserve nothing else than the best.

I love your drawing style, and the way you portray SmallEtho is both hilarious and suprisingly accurate.

Its nice to see other nordmenn out on the internet, since we're not well known about :'D, so im suprised at finding someone som er norsk og interessert i folkeeventyr. Many of mah favorite dumbasses (friends) dont really know so much of folkevtyr og de tingene der, so its refreshing to see someone exited about it.

Your art is inspiring me to draw more myself, and i get exited every time you post <3

Im not gonna ask you to draw anything (in this ask anyways), but rather to look over your art and realize "huh this is some top tier art, yeah this shit ammaaaaazin" because its true.

Your art is so good, you deserve a fukins kvikklunsj. And a smågodt pose. A smågodt pose with a fuckton of the strawberry things bcus they're awesome.

Also how the fuckety fick fakk do you post so often?? Ur the fukings Flash. Goddam speed. Don't overwork yourself tho, stay happy and healthy you amazing Shrek x Kakashi shipper.

I have more compliments, but its 10pm and i have projects to work on and sleep to sleep.

Have a great night, and remember that you're amazing, people care about you and want you to be happy <3

HOW THE FUCK DID YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE THE STRAWBERRY THINGS WHAT THE FUCK

<33

I HAVE SOMETHING CALLED AUTISM AND THAT AUTISM MAKES ME SPEEDY ZOOM AND I ALSO HAVE A LITTLE SOMETHING CALLED A CONCERNING AMOUNT OF SMALLISHBEANS/SMALLETHO BRAINROT

WDYM YOU HAVE MORE COMPLIMENTS ABDEJSBSKA <3

IM TRYNNA LIMIT MYSELF TO LIKE TWO DRAWINGS A DAY SO THAT I DONT GET BURNT-OUT BUT GOD DAMN SOME OF YOUR GUYS’S ASKS ARE JUST SO AUSGEKENWKWK

IM GONNA GO CRY BRB

[atherix]

I've been dodging and weaving spoilers all day, but i finally got a chance to read the new chapter! WHAT THE FUCK ATHERIX- You were right, i was very much not ready. I'm sure everyone else has lovely thoughtful notes on the chapter, little details with lore and all. But my brain is short-circuiting, so all i can offer are my tears. Im sobbing?? That mimic scene is going to live in my brain rent free now. Nothing like fleeting hope, dashed before it can really take hold ^u^ AND THE ENDING- Im shaking. Who needs emotional stability anyway :D I hope you're enjoying yourself -_- That was incredible <33

-🍂

Ahaha sorry sorry, maybe I should tag spoilers for a day or so after updating <3

I thought about going to sleep and then I chose violence instead <3

To be honest most people have been screaming and crying so <3 I do not know what will be sent once people have time to organize and write their thoughts but Stitch has threatened the essayiest of essays so I'm looking forward to that, Stitch is very good at analyzing hehe <3 BUT I WILL HAPPILY ACCEPT YOUR TEARS. They sustain me <3 Look. The Mimics. One day I went to Stitch screaming OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I JUST THOUGHT OF THE MOST HORRIFYING THING POSSIBLE and Stitch had No Idea this is what was gonna come out of it <3 I have been planning this Mimic scene for WEEKS. At LEASt a month. I have been vibrating waiting for this moment. Who needs emotional stability OR ground stability amirite :) Hehehe I am enjoying myself very much thank you <3

Thank you so much~! <3<3 I'm so glad you enjoyed it even if I have broken your heart <3

[marvelousjj]

Some people have been checking on me to see what's bee going on with life. I figured I would post here about what's been going on. I'm gonna put most of it under a read more so nobody gets triggered. Might delete this later. I'm just feeling really down lately and could use some support.

First I have to take you way back to my senior year of highschool. For context I'm turning 33 in March. My parents were going camping, I was going to a performance I was in, and my brother was going out of town for a conference. My parents and step brothers went first, then I left, followed by my brother. I was called suddenly being told my mom was picking me up and I had to be outside waiting. After a silent car ride home we arrive to find a cop car waiting. After being interrogated for an hour the cop leaves. Why was the cop there? My parents claimed they came home to the door open and drugs on the coffee table. They said nothing was stolen. I took a drug test, came up negative for everything (and was even supervised while taking the test). I went to be crying that night and the following morning I was woken up at 6am saying my step dad would be home at noon for lunch and I had to be gone by then.

I had a whole second year of highschool I had to do. I didn't know how to live on my own, and suddenly I was sitting in a diner with a duffle bag, and not knowing where to go. I got up, I found a place to stay eventually, and I graduated the next year. All without my parents help.

Now...We can fast forward to present day...

I had moved back home after a very nasty breakup of a toxic relationship that lasted 3 years. This is after a long time of working on getting myself back on top, being diagnosed with debilitating anxiety and ptsd from said event that happened when I was in highschool. My mom came to me with information that my dad was gambling all their money away. Like, her whole savings. Then one morning I wake up to find I slept through my mom finding him smoking (and this is in his words) not meth but the closest thing he could make with over the counter stuff. She kicked him out and said she wanted a divorce. Little more context. I have an 8 year old child and have a history with my biological dad of drug abuse, so I have quite a bit of issues with that stuff. After FOUR DAYS he comes over in the middle of the night, and she lets him sleep over without telling my brother and I. When she comes downstairs and tells us he's moving back in, we both explained why we weren't comfortable with it, she had nothing to say.

I was heartbroken. I was basically told that after I didn't do anything all those years ago, I was kicked out, but all he had to say was sorry and he got to come right back. When I asked for an explanation (never even got an im sorry after all these years) he explained to me that there were other children in the house they needed to think about? And that if CPS got called they would lose all the kids? I had proven my innocence only to find out it didn't matter. I was a scape goat for my parents.

So my brother and I looked for a place, and I told my parents I wasn't interested in hearing anything they had to say and bid them a wonderful life. This apparently has caused my mother to harass me with messages (until finally I gave her one final warning to back off and now she has blocked me), saying my brother and I have given her ptsd over it, and claiming that I'm doing things like pulling the victim card. She even talks about me in chat like I'm not even there.

I can't go a single day without having a panic attack. I'm constantly on edge, my sleep schedule is all out of whack, and on top of that I'm getting ready to start life over in Indiana.

I don't know why I wrote this...other than it's really lonely right now. I feel like that same scared teenager and I'm realizing that my parents were never really in my corner. I guess I'm just looking for support. I'm not very good at making friends in person so a lot of people on here are my support circle.

Anyways...I'm gonna go try and find something to do. Thanks for reading if you did. And know you are loved and appreciated.

[sunmoonjune]

OKAY I WENT TO SLEEP WITH A SMILE N WOKE UP WITH A GIGGLE N WNET ABOUT WORK WITH A SKIP AND DROVE HOME W A LIL CHANT ☺️ bug 🥰 bug 🕺 bug 🙌 bug 💃 bug 🤗 KNOWING LTM HAD BEEN UPDATED HEHE

finally managed to wait until i had finished work to snuggle into bed and read and asdfgh ONE WORD INTO THE CHAPTER AND IM ALR SCREAMING OFC BUGS GONNA REQUEST FOR SAN I-

hj using bug's language to thank wy for bringing them both back home safe bestboi!hongjoong 🫶 and the fact that bug made a sign for 'home' but never drew it again after creating it bc she never had a place to call home but now she's signing it again and again for hj to know what a damn good leader he is hNNG

also sry i know it's a rly cute and touching scene when bug appoints yeosang to five taps but im also cackling imagining her fingers tapping rapid fire like eight times if she keeps naming the rest of ateez the same way HAHAHA bug's hand be like: 🫳👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇 not me quadruple checking i had the correct number of finger emojis

peep the results of moonie's ✨research✨ to describe how san smells im kicking my feet uGH sanbug are FINALLY reunited in the softest way possible 'my san' and 'my bug' PLSSSSS

also HONEY ?? LOVE ?? BABY ?? DARLIGN? ? sWEEt GIRL ? moonie really slapping us left right up down front n back with the pet names. but nothing beats yunho calling bug anything related to little or tiny - im so biased for yunho and size differences 🥹

BUG REMOVING HER MASK AND THE TOWEL THE AMOUNT OF TRUST AND VULNERABILITY SHE IS SHOWING TO YUNHO IM SO PROUD OF HER Omg MG and then THE LAST SENTENCE ???????? THAT AINT FEEDING US BREADCRUMBS TO HER PAST THATS MORE LIKE A WHOLE ASS LOAF OMG i cant wait for you to slowly reveal more and more of bug's history

this whole chapter makes me want to punch a wall and sprint a marathon just so i can feel human again bc im a bumbling soft mess of goo and feels rn nobody touch me 🫠🫣🤧

everybody say 📢thank u moonie📢 for blessing us with such a long chapter and for all your hard work!! okay now excuse me whilst i go and reread ch 1-15 again 🫡

FOWFWIMFOENURG I'M CRYING I love messages like this!!! send me your reviews send me every thought you have about the chapter!!! I love love love it!! <333

hehehehe I too chant bug! bug <33 bug<3 (tbh this is san LMAO)

hongjoong used bug's language talking to wooyoung so instinctually I don't even know if he realized :')) it's just so natural to him now <3 bestboi! hongjoong indeed!! also might I add,,, the fact that yunho taught hongjoong the sign for 'home' even though bug had never used it,,, almost as if he knew that one day she might... :'))

also LMAO yeah I see it xD you really have to pay attention like,,, wait do it again I think I miss counted, how many times was that?? I think after yeosang the names will have different touches since after five it's going to get complicated xD I might throw in some other shapes at some point haha

SANBUG REUNION!!! 'my san' -- 'my bug' I was crying screaming throwing up writing that I swear <33 made myself so emotional I could cry

(also totally irrelevant,,, but I made my mom cry when I was explaining the meaning behind all of the boy's symbols earlier :') I was so excited that I just started talking about them to see if they made sense and seonghwa's made her cry :"D she thought it was so freaking sweet what he said about being reborn as a universe <33 like yeah I'm in love with seonghwa too xD )

the nicknames!! I really said ateez loves bug and what about it?? xD gosh san nearly outright admitted it and bug is like,,, he cares about me??? me?? huh?

bug took off her mask!! for the first time without needing to!! she loves yun so much <33 their trust in each other is insurmountable I swear I'm gonna cry -- the last line tho,, there will be more on that soon too D": it truly was a loaf size breadcrumb of her past, our poor bug <3

I'm so so so happy you enjoyed the chapter!!! thank you so so much my dear <33 I adored your commentary hehe thank you again <33

[fictionfixations]

Take It Back Now Y'all | Batman Fic | Tim Drake-centric (Fic Rec)

Take It Back Now Y'all (150566 words) by TimTheToaster Chapters: 33/33 Fandom: Red Robin (Comics), Batman - All Media Types Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Characters: Tim Drake, Original Characters, Harvey Dent, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Leslie Thompkins, Waylon Jones, Oswald Cobblepot Additional Tags: Time Travel, to call this a fix-it is disingenuous but it is in the spirit, the OCs are kind of filler but also not if that makes sense, more tags as the situation develops, i'm just gonna slide in the, Slow Burn, tag because this is going to be a long build-up to Something, Canon-Typical Violence, but more like Tim's normal than Bruce's, Just So We're Clear, BAMF Tim Drake, Tim Drake-centric, Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, Unreliable Narrator Series: Part 1 of How to Scratch a Record

Summary:

There was absolutely no way this sunshine was from Gotham in April. Not possible. Which meant, Tim was no longer in Gotham, in April. (In which Tim finds himself in the past, and tries to do the right thing. It's more complicated than he'd like.)

my Notes: tim time travels go brrr alvin draper LMFAOOOO (but i also grew to love it ??) but also holy fucking shit im still sobbing i was bingeing this fic and im SO happy i didnt continue reading it in one session yesterday because i was tired as fuck BECAUSE ID BE CRYING myself to sleep????? IM STILL NOT OVER IT

but it sstill a cool fic and id recommend giving it a try if you're into that kind of thing

[chateautae]

Heyo Sammy!

I was browsing through some fics online here and I got this like strong memory back of when I started binge reading MID and I didn't sleep for like hours that night. Hehe

Idk I wish I could go back to that time briefly and re read MID for the 1st time, experiencing all those emotions and head scenarios for the 1st time. Waiting for the next chapter and when you changed your writing style for that chpt 13 if I'm not mistaken and literally blew everyone's minds, your ask Box was blowing up and I remember going through all of your asks to just see how much everyone enjoyed MID, the theories and pics of Taehyung that would fit so and so part of a chapter.

Thanks for all the MID drabbles, your hardwork makes my dashboard so much exciting and fun.

This also goes for all your other pieces of work too💜 but MID has been 1 of my all time top fav.

Have a nice day/afternoon/evening/night🌻

Loves... Im gonna cry this so so sweet!! AND YES UGH sometimes i wish I could go back too, it was so amazing to have everyone come together as a community with the story and just the amount of love it garnered was so astonishing to me. MID is a very important story to me because there's so much of myself in that story, so it means the world to hear how much you cherish it 🥺 thank you for reading and loving the story so much <33 Thank YOU for your support on the story and I genuinely look forward to you reading my future works!! take careee xoxo

[kimteume]

hi adri 🤍 yesterday's news was heartbreaking, my eyes feel dry after crying so much for so long. couldn't sleep well, forced myself to eat. i hope that eventually teumes and specially treasure can cope with reality.

i thought about it over and over, i guess what happened will someday prove to be good for all of us. mashiho will be well again, yedam will be evolving as a producer and treasure will go up their paths as a group. teumes too will be able to realise this and support all the boys just like the old times <3 though it's gonna take a good while, i am hopeful that some day soon we’re gonna stand up on our feet again ^.^ *hugs*

everytime i see a video of mashidam with treasure, i cry tears of sorrow. wishing none of this ever happened. but in a little corner of my heart, i’m hopeful that one day. the same tears i have today will be the tears of joy upon watching my treasure boys succeed and thrive in their endeavours. it's okay to feel sad, upset or frustrated at the moment. just take everything out of heart and fill yourself with fresh air and a fresh hope.

i’ve loved treasure more than i planned to, and the heaviness i feel now is it's aftermath. again, im hopeful that teumes all around the world, who love treasure so much, hold onto them and support them in this crucial turn in their careers. i am so proud of treasure and teumes 💗 have a kyutie junkyu <33

I'm so sorry it took me so long to answer this. 🥺

I was at work when they announced it and I'm glad my friend (who is an EXO-L) was there to comfort me. I don't know how I would be at that moment without her. I cried for hours straight, on the way home and right before I slept. Just thinking that we will never see them 12 together again just feels so unreal, I haven't even fully processed it yet. There really is a hole in my heart that only OT12 Treasure can fill. 🥺

It will take time, and maybe I will never really move on from it, but you're right. I believe that whatever is happening now might be painful, but it will all make sense in the right moment. I will miss them everyday, but I believe the universe has a way of putting things in order to get the best outcome for everyone.

Once again sending hugs to every Teume out there, especially to OT12, Mellows, and Blackswans. 🥺✨