#im going to try to draw something else too but i needed to get this out of my brain lol
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omg literally was kicking my feet reading your comments!!! i sincerely appreciate and enjoyed it!!!!
i'll place my response under a read more bc i got so much to say hehe
im so flattered you fell asleep while reading!!! its mean you really wanted to read it!! ive fallen asleep to my fave fics so it really made me smile!!
and yes!!! i've been waiting to see if someone noticed hehe. I was so happy you did! the pineapple scent fits him too i feel! ive actually looked into their real perfumes/colognes (from what google says is their perfumes/scents) and referenced what they actually wear! apparently hongjoong does have a pineapple undertone perfume o_o <3 i love him. hes the sweet tangy boy lol. im happy you like their scents!!
SAN IS SO SOFT. i love big strong men who are soft sweethearts. he isssss so soft for all his loves. youll see how the others want to wrap him up in pillows and blankies soon! ateez loves him.
and omg everytime i write san drinking im just like hes a lightweight. hes giggling. hes blushing. hes just keeping it under control. hes gotta be Cool.
Alleyway Scene!! Mingi is right!! but if its hwa or joong.... that'll have to be seen.
i do have to say i thought about yn remembering their voices. For both jongho and the alley scene men. but i eventually was like ehhhh lets have drama lol.
JONGHO IS BABY. he deserves a meetcute. and im happy that the maknae whisper was a good leeway!! I didnt want him to give away his name for a while but eventually thought JH would introduce himself.
I wanted her to freak out - i think she was kinda in her head so she was more ready to get out of there. but i wanted her to notice that he knew her name before she gave it!! spooooky.
woo is just so downbad in love. hes like ill do anything swanette. i really liked that angel between two demons line too!! i also think its fun bc hongjoong's lil nickname for her will be angel (like we saw in the chpt 3 flash to the future bit)
aw im happy you like her fidgeting! i try to make them feel as real as possible. people fidget and self soothe and have tells for when they lie. body language is hard to get across in writing imo but i hope these help to show how she is feeling to the people around her too.
san icing her legs will be pEAK. it was a spur of a moment idea and i was liek i gotta write this or else ill go insane!
thats an interesting point!! do they want her to need them - want them?? i feel like its definitely good and toxic. bc they are totally pushing limits to see what she is comfy with.
i read yandere fics and im like this is fine, knowing like no its not lol. right now there are totally red flags from all of the boys but woosan feels sweet rn still. so much is still blurred i feel that i dont blame yn for being swoonful.
wooyo is a softie jokester. he wants to live life comfy, casual, worryfree.
tall and taller, my boysssss!! its totally yungi! theyre planning something that definitely is setting butterfly effects off.
wooyoung being just a tease is my fave thing. he wants attention from everyone lol.
ooo s rings for seonghwa is a fun idea but i will reveal the story behind this one lol. this was to allude to it being mingi. i took inspo from the S/$ necklace he wears in the MV and the line that says "Draw a line on the name and take the won and dollars" for his name sake S/$ and M/₩. i thought an $ necklace would be a bit tacky lolol so i made it a ring instead to imply Song Mingi.... though there is more to this story i'll keep quiet for now haha.
BUT CLAIMING THINGS FROM SEONGHWA IS A BIG EYES IDEA.
Jongho loves the arts! he wanted to see what was up!! hes just a bit more suave - he knows she'd be checking out the box if he sat there.
Julia is definitely showing the more give and take of the boudoir. she wants to be more than the system she is locked into but was mean about it for sure to yn. its good advice but said badly i think. and for sure yn thinks woosan and her are different!
aaa i like that you noticed that about introvert/extrovert/outings/privacy! and also wy loves yn he loves that shes clever and caring and listening!! hes really whipped.
jooongie will make it known for sure one day! and its an interesting idea! hes been very private so far in the story - canonically he hasnt even been to the show yet (if im remembering my own writing correctly lol). why would he give her a coat? is it just a coat or is it more? why is he letting all of the boys be so captivated by her?
the necklace being tugged was a comment reply!! someone said it made them think of a collar which was not the initial implication - but then ...
i was hooked on the idea and had to add it!
I really love reading the comments you are sharing!! im literally giggling and clapping my hands!! it made my night!! i appreciate it so much!!
«hes mine just as wooyoung and you are mine» that is the dream. oh to be sans and be wrapped up in his big ol chest.
yeosang is going to be featured more heavily next chapter and im like metaphorically glaring at him likes hes a bad cat rn haha. hes unhinged but also same. i need a soft hug from good cat yeosang.
and gosh this is so sweet im so happy you are enjoying!!!!!!!!!!
san is Gentleman. He likes the glitz and glamour and pretty things on his arms.
YN just wants to be star
i love love love strong yeosang, doberman yeosang. hes got an aura around him even if he is soft boy
like hes got an intensity even if hes gentle/cutesy/demur
yeahhhhhhh san wishes it was an easier answer than prima.
she is very innocent. i try to balance it so people arent annoyed or think of her as a mary sue. BUT i dont think she'd assume mafia first and foremost. there isnt really that in this town. small town gangs, rich conglomerates, ateez is a new force.
lolol about the newspaper guy!
ys just wants to spend time with heeeeeerrrrrrrrr and it got all messed up later. he will spend more time with her for sure!! like i said hes wild in the next chapter imo.
mingi my shaylllaaaaaaa. hes soooo alrfafgvafnvlnaflv i want to squeeze him. i LOVE cute mingi. i love bashful kind silly smile mingi beneath his sexy aura!!!
matz my loves. i wanted to include them in little ways this chapter. next chapter might not feature them yet depending on pacing but i love and miss them. im a matz girlie through and through.
aaaa oh my gawddddd thats all im saying about the tooth gems hehe!!!
everything reminds me of him. i love mv san.
i loved throwing in the kitty hehe. its just a strange thing in the mv to have this kitty prowling about imo. shes jongho!!
oooo im excited for an ask if you are still curious!!!
Yeosangs flower outfit!!! hes so cuteee and soft boy. i wanted him super soft before we see him ever in his sharp pinstriped suit.
i take a lot of things from the mv lol or the behind the scenes or the teasers!! they give me so much inspo!! im happy you are spotting them!!
wy and mg's scene in front of the desk is totally derived from mingi's moment at the desk in the mv!! a lot of people got confused thinking mingi was yunho/seonghwa since they've been delegated as higher in power buttttt mingi is at a desk in the mv... mingi has his ring kissed in the mv.....
hongjoong in iomt was first goofy looking and then I LOCKED THE FUCK IN. hes so fine. i love the hair. i love his cocky vibe. i love him FLOATING LIKE AN ANGEL. i just have to try to include those vibes from him and i thought a portrait painted in a Renaissance style would fit that!
im glad!! that gives me the ick too!! another ick that i get is when wooyo blows smoke in the butlers' faces as theyre walking in the foyer. i wanted to show that they really dgaf with other ppl.
he did say that >:((( he keeps calling her a doll and nows he like liking her. wooyo and san will tease yu haha. though i will note 1910s/20s doll was common for a girl as a nickname. i think he did mean it like "this doll, this broad *raised eyebrows*" though so the growls are warranted still.
yunho is the guard dog totally. hes here to sniff out trouble and set records straight! we can trust him...right?
i love yeowoosani! i love them theyre babies!!!!!!!
mingis just a boy, surrounded by boys. hes like "shit a lady is here and now i said shit oh shit i said it again D:<"
kitty z is precious and has done no wrong yn is just going through it.
im hoping to get another chapter out faster (even if my brain is like sludge with writing rn). these comments really inspire to me keep writing and get it out faster so thank you so much!! it really brightened my day!!!
like a waltz⎯ part 4: piqué.
pairing(s): ateez ot8 x fem!reader; this chapter focuses on all the boys & reader except my beloved matz :(( (their time is coming.) series summary: when 8 mysterious bachelors arrive to town and fall for your charms, will you be able to reach your goal to be prima ballerina or be dragged into a selfish waltz between love and obsession? glimpse: As trouble arises and your patrons spend more time with you, more attention gets locked on you. Their interest is thoroughly piqued by you. warnings/tags: inspired by Ateez’s Ice on my Teeth MV & Teasers, Mafia AU, Ballet AU, early 1900’s AU with some divergences in tech advancements (i.e rule of cool), 3rd person POV, use of YN, mxm, polyteez, MATURE topics, canon typical violence (choking, fighting, punching, etc), canon typical gore, blood, death, guns, explicit language, stalking, alcohol, smoking, bribery, lack of privacy, allusions to exploitation in ballet, implied sexual themes, suggestive themes, kissing, intimacy, angst, fluff, voyeurism sort of, obsession, infatuation, sugar daddy themes, unequal power dynamics, food descriptions, missing people, polyamory, pain, medical drug usage, traumatic injury, injuries, reader discretion advised & 18+ readers only! Let me know if I should tag anything else! word count: 20.4k previous chapter <- -> next chapter series masterlist
piqué ; french pronunciation: [piːk], ‘pricked’… or to stimulate interest or curiosity.
Creeping out of the stage-door hours after a performance was a normal thing for ballerinas. The alley way was something all the girls were familiar with just as they were with the foyer de la danse. Its damp cobblestone, nearby rotting trashcans, and the barely lit path was their red-carpet entrance. They were not allowed the luxury of entering through the grand doors of the opera house with its tall columns, brightly lit lamps, and the many steps towards its shiny, gold-painted extravagance The only days they were allowed to enter through the front doors were when the opera house was closed and they were rehearsing. The petit rats were only welcomed with glamour when the rich weren’t nearby. They had the back-entrance. This was the ugly underbelly of the pretty façade.
Dressed in her pretty coat and her warmest layers, she had said goodbye to San and Wooyoung ages ago. But then, the Madame had spoken to her and a few ballerinas in her office, relaying some notes, insisting on the girls performing the rectifications immediately. So, there they stood in the rehearsal room, satin-ribboned shoes laced up over thick winter stockings and their day-dresses on. The ballerinas repeated their motions: turning in pirouettes, performing jetes, and piquing across the hall. It was only after the city’s clock tolled twelve times that the Madame allowed them to stop with a slam of her cane into the wooden floorboards. Then, after confirming each dancer had paid their weekly bill (YN smiled, wiping sweat from her brow as she was told her patrons paid once more), they were allowed to leave. The other ballerinas had all scurried home by the time she had gathered her bag and coat once more.
It was late into the early hours, past midnight and not yet morning when she finally left the opera house and crept out into the alley.
Pushing the heavy door open with her shoulder, the chill of night soaked into her bones with a whoosh. Shivering a bit, she adjusted her pretty coat closer to her body and prepared herself for the walk home. Her boots click clacked on the icy pavement as she exited the mouth of the alley. Looking this way and that, the streets were abandoned. Seemingly abandoned. Some of the candle-lit lamps even had fizzled out in the evening with no leeries about to relight them. She continued to walk along, humming softly until she heard the noise. Loud panicked whispers. A crackling fire. The crinkling of a tin-barrel. The smell of smoke. Ahead of her, dark smoke was tumbling out of a nearby alleyway, firelight lighting the brick-walls. She paused, her foot-steps slowed.
Click. Clack.
“You fucked up the deal?” It was frightened.
Click, clank.
“I didn’t mean to; I didn’t mean to. Johnny stole some cash from them, and then-“
“I don’t care! We needed this deal – the money, before he arrives – before we all lose –“
There was the squealing of car wheels and the smell of hot gasoline in the air. YN froze, her footsteps stopping. A car door slammed open, and there was a new click-clank of boots. A startled yell, a shuffle of footsteps, voices overlapping; there was a thud of a body hitting the icy ground with a yell. YN held her breath.
“Gentlemen,” the newcomer’s voice was gravely. There were heavy footfalls and a scrambling sound of someone walking backwards. Something hit a tin-can.
“B-B-Boss.”
“Where is it?”
“Oh, about that –“ the other chuckled.
“My money isn’t no laughing matter.” There was a thud like someone being shoved into a wall violently. The man groaned in pain. “You think I’m someone to be crossed? Where. Is. It?” the intimidating deep voice asked, lowly.
YN swallowed, frozen at the alley way’s entrance just out of view. When would she be able to pass? She needed to get out of here quiet and without being noticed. Or else… she was scared what would happen. This wasn’t the usual gang-dealings. Gangs would fight back, fist with fist. These men were scared.
“We can get it to you- We can- just give me some time, boss!”
“This is the second time,” the graveled voice grumbled; there was a low whistle, sharp and piercing.
And then it was quiet. There wasn’t even pleading, no whimpering.
Silence.
YN’s breath was held as she tentatively peered out from her spot. A sliver of her face was visible against the brickwork wall of the alley way. Smoke hazed the figures, but she could just make out the broad shoulders of the deep-voiced man, cornering another man to the brick wall. The man’s hand scratched at the many-ringed fingers that grasped his throat mercilessly. A gagging sound was heard. Not one of the gang-member’s allies moved to help them. Instead, they were all staring at the automobile.
A truck was reversed into the alley way. Black and large, it shined and flickered in the firelight. Its back-doors pushed open with a click, and men in dark masks tumbled out. Large, intimidating suited figures held bulky guns she had never seen before. YN had seen muskets, shotguns, and even a revolver once. These weren’t that. These were heavy, mechanical, and dangerous-looking. They piled into the alley, the metal of their weapons glinting in the firelight of the makeshift-barrel fire. The frightened figures strewn about the alley way were frozen-still; a few on the ground pleaded, praying. The masked men pointed their weapons at them warningly.
Her heart rate jumped.
This was more than just a gang fight – this seemed methodical. Frightened, her eyes darted to the other side of the alley, her path home just a few steps away. But she’d have to reveal herself… While they were distracted, she’d run. She would. She needed to get out of here quick. Like a mouse, she’d escape when the cats played with their prey.
There was the clink of a car door opening and a metallic thunk of it shutting firmly. A sigh echoed out into the air, disappointed.
“Please, boss.” The figure held to the wall managed to splutter out.
His captor pushed him up the wall with a violent thud before finally letting go. The man gasped and gaped like a fish as the dark figure took a step backwards to look towards his accomplice. The figure exiting the car didn’t have the dark masks like the others. In this light and smoke, she could only make out the shape of him. Clean cut short hair, the trail of cigarette smoke, the gleam of his teeth. He tossed the cigarette to the icy floor.
Click, clack.
Click, clack.
Click, clack, BANG.
A gunshot went off. His hand was outstretched in a flash; the pistol in his grasp smoking. A man on the ground let out a yelp of pain; his blood splattered against ice and stone. His hand grasped at his leg helplessly in agony.
“Shall we send a message to your pals?” the new man insisted, cocking his red-hot gun again and aiming it at the man his companion had just released from a chokehold.
There was pleading; names babbled over one another until they were unrecognizable. “Sir! Mercy please!”
“I think we should,” the deep-voiced man commented, nearly growling out his words. “We knew you scum thought this was some game. And here you made it all messy.”
His teeth gleamed and glinted with his snarl.
“Let’s make it messy in return.” He finished, nodding at the other.
There was a signal, and the men fired at the others at the two tall figures’ command. Gunfire, loud, fast, and hot, blazed out across the alley way. Her voice escaped her, screaming out. Hiding quickly out of danger, YN jumped back.
“What’s that?” a voice bit out. “You got some dame in this? Find her. Get her!”
They had heard her. Ice flooded her veins. She turned to run, only to run face first into a broad chest. She screeched out again, her hand raising to muffle it. By the looks of his attire, he wasn’t one of the gang members from the alley way. No, this gentleman was dressed nicely in a midnight-black tuxedo with a black cummerbund sash around his waist like he had been at the opera house. His face was firm, almost furrow browed as he righted her with a careful hand on her shoulder. He couldn’t be in this mess; he looked so polished and unaware.
“Mis—” He didn’t get to finish his statement as she interrupted him. Her hands shoved unlady-like against his sturdy chest, wrinkling what had been previously a fine-pressed white button-up.
“We’ve got to get out of here.” She hushed. “Now!”
Her eyes dripped of innocence, of protectiveness. Her fear was palpable. His intense brown orbs met hers and, without hesitation, he nodded. Surprisingly, despite his height and stature, he let her push and pull him away from the alley way and back towards the front of the now-abandoned opera house. She tugged him by the hand up the stairs, so they could stand hidden by the columns.
Her boots click clacked with each step of the stairs. More gunshots rang out; footsteps followed after them. She stumbled a bit, yelping; the mystery man’s free hand reached out to support her waist before he pulled her into the cover of the tall columns.
She could hear gunfire echo through the street, and she jumped with each bang, bang, bang. The stranger’s hand rose to duck her closer to the column rather than hide against it himself. Curling into herself, into the man’s side, the column, her eyes shut tight. This was a nightmare. The masked figures would surely come after them. They’d pull him away and then her, and what would happen next? She was shaking. There was yelling, shouting. She flinched. A loud whisper.
“Maknae?”
No reply. There was a crunching of snow, the moaning of men in pain. There was a long pause; she didn’t dare open her eyes. And then, there was the sound of footsteps walking away, heaving and thuds of something, and finally the squeal of car wheels going far away from the scene. The smell of gun-smoke and burnt rubber and gardenias (her rescuer’s cologne she realized) was all that was left.
A silence tumbled over the square like the cold water of an ocean’s tide, overwhelming and discombobulating. She stayed frozen for a long until a single finger poked at her shoulder.
“Miss?” he prompted softly; he shook her shoulder firmly then.
His tone sounded nervous, almost afraid. Of course he would be; she was afraid! It was frightening to almost be caught up in trouble. They had been so very close to being looped into a gang fight. She swore she’d never go down that alley or any alley again - ever. Shortcuts home be damned.
“It’s okay. You can open your eyes.” His voice was melodic, soft. Warm in this icy cold.
Her eyes opened tentatively, and she took in the sight of the gentleman in front of her.
He looked down at her with those intense deep-brown eyes, his dark hair mussed over his forehead. She could see his brows furrow at her in concern; his tongue peeked out to swipe over his top lip. His clothes, presumably for the ballet, were wrinkled by her man-handling.
“Are you hurt?” he asked, glancing her over with a quick look.
He didn’t let his gaze linger, but he hadn’t let his hand up from her shoulder either. She swallowed and shook her head as she shifted her shoulders, physically gathering herself as she replied.
“I’m okay, sir. Are you?” she asked politely. Her voice trembled still.
His face smoothed into something she’d almost call relief before he nodded. “I am.” He glanced out at the road. “They’re gone.”
He spoke to reassure her, the tone firm and resolute.
“Do you want to go to the police?” he asked slowly.
He seemed not too disheveled as he took a few steps away from her. His eyes remained on the nearby street, monitoring it. There was no sounds of moaning or pain. What had happened to the gang members? The gun fire was horrible; she hadn’t seen much. Except for red, red, red. No. No! She didn’t want to know. She didn’t want any reason for those men to come find her! They heard her. They had. Her hands rubbed over face; hours old makeup and sweat was sticky against her palms. It felt like blood for a moment.
It sent chills up her spine.
“Miss YN?” her rescuer prompted again, dragging her attention to him.
“No, sorry,” she babbled out. “No.” she confirmed firmly. Her arms wrapped around herself, tugging her coat closer.
“Are you sure?” the man’s brow raised.
“It’s easier to ignore these things,” she muttered out. “Safer. To not get involved.”
The man hummed low in his throat, melodically.
“Thank you,” she said after a moment, trying to shake off her fear. “For shielding me up here. And running away.”
“You warned me. You saved me I guess,” he chuckled. “Thank you.”
She smiled shakily before glancing back at the now-quiet streets. Her hands clutched her coat closer.
“Will you be alright, Miss YN?” he asked.
Her nod was preoccupied.
“I will be,” she told him, glancing up at him. He fit right in with the glamour of the opera house. She wondered why she had never seen him before. He was memorable. His face was handsome; his form strong in a different way to San’s but still imposing.
“I’ll be on my way. It’s late and I don’t want trouble. I’m glad that we are both aliv-okay.” she corrected.
“I understand,” he said. “You don’t want a chaperone?”
She didn’t even know him. She wished Wooyoung or San was here. She shook her head, and she took a step away, fiddling with her coat.
“I’ll be okay. Good night…”
“Jongho,” he answered, even if she wasn’t asking. “My name is Jongho.”
“Jongho,” she repeated. “Thank you again.”
He nodded, bowing at the waist.
“Good night, YN.”
He’d whisper, “stay safe,” but he knew he’d be following after her in just a little while. After all, her designated shadow was busy tonight, too busy taking care of business to watch over her. So, the once-street-mutt Jongho had been sent in his stead to watch over his lady. And Jongho couldn’t help but be curious about her. Even more now that he had held her in his arms and seen the sweetness of her soul in her eyes.
YN was safe in her bed that night when she realized she had never told him her name.
And yet he had said it.
-
Her motions were sloppy. Her pointe was weak. And her mind lost. She plied.
“Are you alright, honey?” San asked.
It was the next night - before showtime. San and Wooyoung somehow weaseled themselves into the boudoir before any other patrons could. Sometimes she wondered how much coin that costed them. The Madame had been strict with no patrons before shows – allowing the fragile privacy to warm up and prepare for the shows. It was so easily broken by the two men, but their eyes were only locked on her. And when she turned away to shimmy into a costume or fix a corset or a loose ribbon, they’d respect her. Glancing aside no matter how much temptation itched at their hands.
Wooyoung had offered once to lace her up, and he was met with a look of sharp disbelief – even if it was shadowed by a sweet blush. He hadn’t asked again, but he looked forward to the day he would be able to lace her up… and unlace her.
Tonight, they stood leaning against the barre as she continued to warm up. But, of course, San had caught her shakiness, her focus weaning.
His hand slide across her waist slowly, thumb caressing up and down.
“I’m okay,” she said honestly, leaning into his support as she lowered her leg off the barre. She flexed her feet and rose up on to a pointe for a moment before sighing out and turning to face the two men.
San’s hand ghosted after her waist, guiding her close as she came to settle between her patrons. She rested her bum on the barre between San and Wooyoung. Her pristine white costume made her look like an angel between two black-suited demons. Wooyoung flicked his cigarette bud into an ash tray he’d stolen taken from the front lobby of the opera house.
“I’m sensing a but,” Wooyoung teased. His fingers trailed lower that they had before, grazing over her the small of her back closer and closer ‘til… San slapped his hand, albeit lightly. She didn’t chuckle at his joke. In fact, it was almost like he didn’t joke at all. He frowned.
“Hm, swanette?” he encouraged again.
“It’s—things have been different around town recently. I just got scared last night,” she admitted, fingers trailing back and forth over the barre pole supporting them. Restlessly. “I think its just shaking me up today.”
“How so?” San asked inquiringly.
“I don’t know. I’ve seen two gun fights in the past month while walking home. That’s not normal. There’s all sorts of kidnappings or disappearances. It’s just,” she shivered, thinking of the fear that had clung to her bones since last night. “Scary.” Her arms wrapped around herself.
Wooyoung frowned, his thumb going to rub at her arm soothingly. He didn’t like her fear. He liked her smiling far more.
“You didn’t go to the police, honey?” San asked, brow pursing. Wooyoung glanced over at San.
“No,” she admitted. “It’s—not my business.” She shook her head a bit, not agreeing completely with her phrasing. “I mean, that’s how it’s always been. Ignore, walk faster, try to get away before being seen. If you mind your business, they’ll mind yours… unless you’re involved. I’m not. Never have been. But… there have never been gun fights. I’ve seen fist fights, even switchblades being pulled.” She shook her head again. “I sound silly. But I know there were gangs around town – I know the familiar faces of troublemakers, their tells – and they’re afraid. And if the monsters are afraid--”
She trailed uncertain. She sighed out again before her hands went to squeeze both of their hands that rested on the barre.
“Sorry, I’m just shaken up, that’s all. I’m spiraling a bit,” she reconciled. “Sorry.”
Wooyoung was first to cut her off. “No, no, pretty girl. Don’t apologize.” He soothed. “We don’t want you scared.”
“You weren’t hurt,” San clarified. It didn’t even sound like a question but still he said it.
She nodded in agreement. “Nope,” she showed her bare arms and twisted this way and that. As if it’d prove she was unharmed.
“Someone helped me,” she admitted.
San raised his brow at Wooyoung before the shorter began to fuss over her.
“My scared swanette,” Wooyoung pouted, huddling close. He pressed a kiss to her cheek as he wrapped her in his arms. “Shall we walk you home from now?” he murmured. “San and I will be your personal bodyguards.”
“Uh, huh,” she teased lightly. “I’m sure you will.”
They’ve only walked her home on occasion. She knew it was in the opposite direction of the Ateez House. She didn’t expect them to walk her home. She wanted them to.
“Trust me, you’ll never get hurt around me if I walked by your side,” San promised, pressing a kiss to her cheek as well.
“I’ll make the ground you walk and dance sacred.” Wooyoung whispered. “Drench it in holy water for you.”
She laughed at that.
“Stop teasing me,” she giggled. “You’re being mean.”
“We’re not teasing, honey.” San pressed another kiss to her cheek.
“I’m sure.”
“Shall I carry you home instead? Like a damsel.” Wooyoung teased, arms sweeping underneath her legs.
Wooyoung was growing bolder by the day, and it made her cheeks flush. She let out a shriek of laughter, dragging the eyes of the other ballerinas their way. San raised his brow at them. Unbeknownst to YN, San seemed to harden when looking at anyone other than Wooyoung or her. He spun her playfully. Her mind rightfully distracted from her fear finally.
“You’ll never step foot on ground again while I’m around, Miss Swanette.”
-
It was dark in the restaurant’s backroom. Smokey and lowlight with flickering candlelight. The servers, the cooks, everyone had been pushed out, locked out. The long table was bare of any meal. Water in crystal glasses sat in front of each man. At the head of the table, there was a decanter of amber liquid with two empty pristine glasses. It was quiet, so quiet that the squeaking of rats could be heard in the floor board. Nervous eyes looked this way and that; bodies shifted and fidgeted. The door opened, and all eyes were sucked to into their orbit.
Two figures stood side by side. Matching Rolexes glimmered on their wrists as they both adjust their suits. One shoved their gold-lined, midnight-black suit’s sleeves up with little finesse while the other took his time, slowly peeling off his suit jacket before rolling his white button-up sleeves up. Slinging his discarded jacket across one of his broad shoulders, he then adjusted his black tie, a long silver ring encompassed his pointer finger of his dominant hand. It almost looked like a claw. The other rolled his neck, the glimmer of multiple gold and pearl necklaces matching his sneer.
Tall and taller glanced down the long table. Young and old sat there; most didn’t look like they had much. Fake luxurious hats with feathers, rings that didn’t sparkle quite right, and sweat-stained pinstriped suits. Some did have money. Their fat fingers rubbing their gold necklaces nervously. All of them shifted in their seats as the duo approached. One on each side of the table, they prowled.
“Gentlemen,” the one who spoke out first nearly growled his words in a snarl.
Rather than walk with his chin high like his companion, he tilted his chin to glare down the table. Dark eyes made darker still by anger. There was a laziness in his swagger as he walked behind one row of chairs; a hand trailed over each leathered chair.
“We have some… requests,” the taller one stated, a smile coming to his glimmering mouth.
-
YN watched as Imara grab Dohyun’s hand. Her words were hushed in the loud boudoir, unreadable. But she could see the panic, the tears twinkling on her lash line.
‘Don’t do this please.’
She could read the pretty dancer’s lips.
The bank owner yanked his arm away, harshly. As if they hadn’t touched Imara’s body up and down like it was his for over a year. He glanced about as he spoke, mouth moving too quick for her to catch any words.
He shook his head again as he turned and left the boudoir.
Imara had to pay for her dues the next day for the first time in over a year.
-
Wooyoung stood by his promise. Each night since, he or San walked YN home, winding through the streets with their fingers interlaced. Most nights it was him. He liked the shared time for just them he said. Sometimes, he grew daring and would wrap his arms around her waist, chin on her shoulder. Like two lovers taking a stroll.
The following nights had been relatively calm; there were no gun fights, no gangsters. In fact, the streets seemed boring. Not a soul was seen around them except for, of course, her loyal following shadow. Not that she’d know. He was like a ghost, sneaking around the corners and alleys to keep them in his sight.
From the darkened corners of the streets, the figure followed after them night after night. His annoyance only growing as Wooyoung’s touches grew bolder in the solitude of night. With no one there, the idea of public decency was lost to the second-youngest. It wasn’t anything explicit. He just was touchy. Touchier than if it were daylight. Holding her closer, his touches longer, longing.
Longingly, he wanted to hold her; he wanted her to curl into his arms. Her shadow-man scowled deeply. Wooyoung truly was a brat he decided. Still, he continued to trail them from far away. But every now and then, Wooyoung would turn and give him a wink over his Swanette’s head. His hand sliding up her back, slow and teasing; his fingers tickled and trailed lower and lower on her waist. He whispered something in her ear, and she giggled.
Wooyoung’s smirk was triumphant as his eyes flickered over to the shadow in the alleyway. Wooyoung was teasing. Teasing both of them.
She’d huddle closer after, and the stalking figure would whisper out a curse. Jealousy itched at his stomach, and he was sure to return home with a scowl. He wasn’t used to not getting what he wanted, and, while he was a gentleman, his thoughts felt not-so gentle. He wanted to hold her. Kiss her. Have her love him. He’d give her anything she wanted. He was already so weak for her, and they hadn’t even met.
He buried himself in the work that was piled on his desk, thanks to Hongjoong. Still, he’d get distracted, imagining fantasies of him and her. He spun a ring on the desk, the ‘S’ emblem on it taunting him.
Would he be able to see her perform soon? Seonghwa and Yeosang had visited. Even Jongho had. Maybe he’d convince Hongjoong to let him go to the foyer de la danse like Wooyoung and San were able to. Why couldn’t he?
The young man knew the answer like a bitter liquor.
Later that evening, Wooyoung and him would meet face-to-face. A smirk on his kiss-swollen lips as he popped his head into the higher-rank’s office.
“Had a nice stroll?”
-
It was a Friday, and Julia with the red hair had been given a private dressing room. That was all anyone could whisper and gossip about.
It wasn’t large. It didn’t even have a mirror or dressing table yet. It was a small closet of a space. But it was hers - exclusively. Her name on a golden plaque had been placed on the door with the title ‘Featured Ballerina’ etched below it. There was space for more.
The entire ballet troupe knew it had been paid for by her patron and wasn’t a result of any promotion amongst the troupe. She wasn’t prima; there was no way for her to achieve higher with no new show to audition for. It was all an act. It wasn’t talent. It was money and favoritism.
Meanwhile, Imara was despondent, cold as ice to anyone that gave her a pitying look.
Patrons came and went like the seasons – even if one thought they’d last forever, winter always came.
It made talking to either woman difficult. Julia was high on her excitement. The way she walked was like she owned the world. She would run off to her closet the moment she came off stage, even if there was hardly room for two people in the space, let alone warming up or staying warm. But, as YN exited stage left, she and the red head stumbled into one another with a clank.
They both yelped, flinching at the pain that radiated up their shoulders.
“Sorry,” YN apologized before her gaze rose and realized who it was.
“Hey Julia.” Her tone was sharper, less friendly than. Almost icy.
The red-head rubbed her shoulder scowling at the other before her own face dropped into an attitude of sorts.
“YN.”
It wasn’t said fond or with blooming respect like it had been before. Where was the respect that had been trickling down with San and Wooyoung’s support? Was it because Julia was still ever-higher than her? Was it because she had a dressing room now?
Maybe it was because they spotted one another outside of the ballet with their patrons by their side.
“Why did you lie to me?” YN spouted out, brows furrowing.
The other ballerina laughed out, too loud. She was almost heard over the orchestra playing a lofty tune as the White Swan jete’ed about on stage nearby.
“What are you talking about?” the other replied, dramatically hushing her tone.
“You said your patron never invited you out of the ballet.” YN stated. “But I saw you at the tennis match.”
There was a condescending tut that escaped the other, and it made YN’s eyes fall into slits.
“Oh, honey,” it was said cruelly. “You need to catch up. If you want to be like them, not be theirs, you must play like them.”
“What does that mean?”
“I’ve gone on plenty of outings with my patron.” She stated, fixing her hair.
“So, you lied,” YN clarified again, simply. What wasn’t clicking? She lied to her.
“I’m not invited; I’m expected,” she said. “I go where I want.”
Semantics. It made her roll her eyes.
“He pays for you just as mine pay for me,” YN commented. “Why didn’t you just tell me it was normal? I was worried.”
Julia finally sighed out.
“Listen, YN. Liars are the only thing that fill those rich homes. Even your boys.” She bit out. “You better learn the game, how to play it, and how to tell if someone is lying to you if you want to be upper-class so badly, YN. Otherwise, you’ll just keep playing pretend, and nobody wants a pretender.”
Then, without another word, the red head pushed past her with a huff.
-
The game. Julia had called it a game.
YN had always looked at the boudoir as a show. A performance between patron and protégé. Usually explicit. But Julia saw it as a game. What type of game YN wondered?
Was it chess? A game of wits? A game of checkers? A game of hopping to the next best thing?
Wooyoung and San didn’t see her as a game. This she knew in her bones. Their sweet words were too sweet. Their genuine excitement and care were a balm to her. But then, she glanced aside at Imara who was like a lost sock without her patron, use ambiguous and left lonely in the corner of the busied boudoir. She had thought the same thing about her patron.
Doubt crawled in. Trickled in her veins. Even as the pair of men strode into the boudoir after the show per usual. San fixed his vest, the white button up loosened and less appropriate, but pleasing to the eye. Wooyoung finished his drink, handed to him by the bulkier man obediently as they walked.
“Hello you two,” YN greeted.
“Hi, pretty lady,” Wooyoung replied. “How was your evening? You were lovely as always.”
“It was good.” she said.
Wooyoung presented his cheek to her, expectedly. With their increase in dates and walks home, he’d become openly affectionate now. Not that she fought against it. If she didn’t press a kiss, he’d pout but when she did a pleased hum would reverberate through his chest like a cat’s purr. It made her beam; his happiness became her pleasure.
She pecked his cheek, quick. He grinned and quickly engulfed her in an embrace. His lips danced over her face. Tiny millions of butterfly kisses were pressed over her cheeks, her nose, her forehead. Giggles consumed her; his quirking lips hummed as he worked his way down to her jaw, underneath it, her neck, to her collarbone, before he was pressing fond kisses over her pearl necklace and up the column of her throat. Each one sent a tingle running through her.
“No pain?” San questioned, aware of how easily she bruised and ached.
She shook her head distractedly.
“Only a few more shows left anyways if so.” She commented. He gave her a scolding look. “Training will be less strenuous than performing. Surprisingly.” She chuckled, gasping out as Wooyoung pressed a deep kiss to the spot beneath her jaw. Not quite a hickey but close.
“Good,” the man replied. She needed a break San thought. He saw how her toes were a bright red through her tights.
“It’ll be nice to dance something new soon – but it’s bittersweet.” She just managed to get out.
San hummed out in agreement, pressing his own kiss to her forehead as he wriggled Wooyoung away from his honey to let her begin to dress into every-day clothing once more. She gave him a thankful look as she quickly went to change nearby. Her face was flushed, and her heart raced. How was her hair even more mussed from her bun? He hadn’t even touched it.
“I know,” San replied. “You must be excited?”
She smiled as she shed out of her feathers.
“Closing night is always such an experience,” she taunted.
It was. Full of celebrations, champagne, and influx of patrons spending their last pennies of the season.
“Will you be there?”
“Of course, baby,” Wooyoung cooed from San’s arms. She saw him ghost a kiss across his neck.
“We’ll be there for every closing and opening from now on.”
-
Wooyoung sat by her side, her hand in his as he gestured to the menu about this tea and that americano and this croissant. Their spread was already far more than either of them could finish. Large oozy cookies, steaming croissants with chocolate fillings, savory bite-sized tarts, and a large sandwich Wooyoung had already cut in half. One for him and one for her.
They had begun to have more dates like this; Wooyoung favored more intimate places such as cafes where they could cozy up close and share treats and talk while San liked to show her off at tennis matches and outings of public attention. She had liked it – but she couldn’t help but hear Julia’s voice in the back of her head.
Did she know her patrons?
Wooyoung smiled brightly and talked easily with her now; an air of comfortability was palpable as his fingers played with hers.
“Wooyo,” she prompted tentatively, interrupting his yapping.
“Hm?” he looked up from the menu, his face inquiring. Brows raised, and mouth squeezed shut.
“I have a question.”
“Ask away, swanette.” He squeezed her hand reassuringly before letting go and flexing his arms to resettle his sitting form to look at her more attentively.
“Why is it you introduced yourself as a Jung? And not a Kim?” she asked.
“Force of habit, really,” he admitted. “Hongjoong insists on us sharing his name.” He raised his coffee to his lips, taking a sip.
“Because he helped you when you needed him?” she recalled.
His grin grew wide, amused. “Yeah.” He paused, biting his lip for a moment before he scooted closer. “He took me in basically. Which is why I consider him family, close as thieves just like Yeosangie and Sannie.”
“He’s at Ateez House?” she queried, fingering a cookie. Tearing it up but not really eating as she thought.
How many were at that mansion? Yeosang, San, Wooyoung… Hongjoong and Seonghwa as well?
“There’s a lot of you there.”
He nodded as he picked up one of the crumbs she was making and pressed it to her lips. His fingertips were warm from the hot ceramic of his coffee cup. He smiled fondly as she nibbled at it. Before raising the rest of the crumb to his mouth, licking at the chocolate melting on his fingertips.
She licked her lips as she watched, chocolate fragrant on her tongue.
“There are eight of us,” he told her. “Eight men in one house, you can imagine the chaos.”
He spoke as if they shared an apartment and not a grand ‘haunted’ mansion.
“What does he do?” she mumbled, half focusing on her attempt to solve the mysteries that had plagued Ateez House’s occupants.
“Eh, a lot of things,” he sucked at the crumbs on his thumb before reaching out a wiping a smudge at the corner of her lips. “This and that. Loves art and shows and spectacle. Is a bit of a collector, more than Sannie is – you know, San loves pretty things.”
She already knew where this was going.
“Like me, Wooyoung?” she teased, beating him to his flirt.
“Just like you, Swanette.” He nudged her tea her way, urging her to drink before it went cold. “C’mon, try this too.”
And like that, her mind was sucked into his fancies as he fed her a warm tartlet that tasted richer than any food she had ever had.
-
It was the first night Wooyoung and San would be unable to walk her home. Wooyoung was good at keeping his promise; he walked her home for many many nights. His babbling softened with his sleepiness which was cute. It was worth it to press a kiss to her lips before she went inside, and even more worth it when he caught the shadow of a figure watching them. He’d blow him a kiss – behind her back that is.
She was anxious to walk alone. Her stomach churned at the though. Wooyoung had apologized as they rushed off to something that needed their attention – him and San. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, promising she’d be okay. He’d see her tomorrow. Walk in the light and you’ll be fine, little bird. As if she walked anywhere else anymore – all her shortcuts scared her now.
It was too late to call for a carriage or a buggy to take her home, so it was the only way. Unless she wanted to sleep on the uncomfortable settee in the boudoir (and most likely be kicked out by the janitor early in the morning. She could hear the Madame already. “This isn’t an orphanage, Miss YN.” Despite the selection of orphans that made up their ranks.)
So, YN hugged her jacket around herself and began her trek home.
And it was so peaceful. Not a whisper, not a fight, nothing. The streets were abandoned – even the men who were stumbling home drunk were absent. It was absolutely empty. Except for her.
And her stalker, of course.
-
San was early at the opera house the next day– so early the doors to the boudoir weren’t unlocked yet. Instead, he lingered out front, pacing this way and that.
“Sannie,” she exclaimed at the sight of him.
How did he know she was going to practice early today? The question was quickly forgotten as she hugged him. His arms wrapped around her in a warm bear hug before he pulled back to press a kiss to her nose.
Sweet, that’s what San was.
“What’re you doing here?” she asked, smiling affectionately up at him.
They hadn’t shifted in their embrace; San kept her close to him as he looked down at her. There was clear fondness there. His fingers rubbed up and down her back, over her warm winter coat.
“I wanted to see you,” he admitted. “You look so cute in your coat.”
His words brought a flush to her cheeks. This was what she imagined when she thought of Julia’s words. No way could this be false. He was cooing over her, his touch reverent. It was different.
“I love it,” she replied. “It keeps me warm. Just like you.”
He laughed, warmly. He brought her close to his chest again, hugging her. It was funny. For as much as he claimed Wooyoung was touchy, San loved skinship. He liked to keep her close.
“I got you something,” he whispered after a moment, shifting one arm to reach into his pocket.
“What’s this?”
In his small hand (well, small compared to his broad form) sat a beautiful bracelet, teardrop-cut diamonds were linked together into a delicate yet unbelievably expensive gift.
“For you.”
San smiled like a content cat as he watched her fiddle with the pretty diamond bracelet. His dimples were deep in his cheeks. Her fingers brushed over the jewels admiringly. He loved pretty things and seeing her openly awe made him buzz with excitement. Carefully, he linked the clasp over her wrist and turned her hand over in his, watching the gems glimmer and shimmer in the gas light. He grinned.
“What’s this for?” she asked, brows crinkling curiously.
It wasn’t like Wooyoung’s gift – a month anniversary gift – or even San’s gift of the coat, something she had needed in all honesty. This was sudden. Strange.
His fingers brushed over the jewels before he spoke again.
“I was jealous that Wooyo had this pretty necklace around your throat.”
He leaned forward, fingering the pearls around her throat before tugging experimentally at them like it was a leash. They tightened with the pressure, choking her lightly and forcing her to lean closer to her patron. YN’s breath stolen, not in pain but in a flicker of excitement, surprise, pleasure. Her head tilted back to smile up at him. His fingers tightened around the pearls ever so.
“Oh, honey,” San cooed soft and sweet as he continued to tug her up by the collar of her necklace to capture her lips in a kiss. One kiss that devolved into many as he pushed her up against the door to the boudoir, lifting her lightly into his arms. Pressed against the door, her bejeweled hand tangled in his hair, tugging him ever closer.
They were lucky no one passed by as they devoured one another.
San may have been a gentleman, but his greed and power revealed itself slowly but surely.
-
Another man was missing. He had been a regular in the boudoir. A young man who spent his spare pennies to leer at them. He wasn’t missed by any of the ballerinas, but it was frightening. Too many people were disappearing or getting into trouble.
Her mother and the other ladies at the factory walked together now. To and from work, in case trouble arose. She had even pushed for YN to walk with someone to the Opera House for once.
“Your boy is a good one,” she appraised. “That Wooyoung walks you here every night now. Like a gentleman. Stick around him.”
-
San had invited her out to another tennis match. Wooyoung had been caught up in business (business she still didn’t know of, she lamented as they walked along the cobblestone streets. San had whispered in her ear that it was boring. Wooyoung was unlucky to not be here with her. And he, in turn, was ever lucky.)
She wore his pretty diamond bracelet on her wrist, and, every time he stole a glance, his face curled up into a pleasant happy grin. He looked sweet like a kitten.
His arm wrapped around her waist as they sat and watch Yeosang’s match. Drinking champagne, he’d offer her his flute every so often, and she’d sip away. It was an expensive brand, far more easy to drink than the piss-poor alcohol the ballerinas could afford for their own celebrations away from the leering men of the opera. Drinking the expensive liquor the men offered was never a good idea – it led to worser things.
Yeosang looked as pretty as ever. He reminded her of a ballerino the way he danced about the court. Somehow both pretty and masculine as his form bent and stretched. Muscles rippled, leaner than San’s but not any less bulging. His arms flexed and she held onto the shared flue of champagne tighter.
San’s fingers stroked over her hip.
“You’re staring, honey,” he teased.
It wasn’t the tone of a jealous lover or a scolding of a respectable man. It was lilting, gentle. Her eyes looked away from Yeosang and rested on her date. He sipped his champagne, lips pursing and brows dancing. San’s lids were heavy as he grinned. Just as cat-like as earlier but more cheshire. Like he knew a secret.
He glanced away from her and looked over the athlete. His gaze mirrored hers, she realized. A fondness… no, an attracted air radiated in his deep brown orbs.
Was he teasing her? Was he genuine?
“Now, you’re staring,” she teased in return.
“I didn’t tell you to stop,” he replied coyly. He glanced back at her as he leaned in. “He’s handsome, hm?”
Her cheeks flushed at that and she looked away.
“San!” she exclaimed.
His laughter rumbled in his chest as he held her closer. His lips pressed to her ear intimately.
“It’s alright, honey. He’s mine. Just as Wooyoung’s mine.” He replied easily. “Just as you are mine.” His lips kissed her skin before he pulled away. Her hand shifted to grasp his in hers. His thumb grazed over her bracelet lovingly.
-
Yeosang greeted them after his victory; the zing of celebratory champagne on his breath stinging her nose as he leaned forward to wrap her into an eager hug. Daring for a second-meeting. It made her worry she had been too obvious with her friendliness, her intrigue… her interest in the athlete. She did like him after all.
“Hello, sweetheart,” he beamed.
The smell of his cologne mingled with his sweat. Masculinity mixed with the soft thyme and tea of his perfume. It made her want to hug him closer. He pulled back, his eyes burning with the same intensity beforehand. A straightforwardness. He wasn’t afraid to meet her gaze. His honeyed eyes were sweet and inquiring. Taking in every feature of her – the dark coat, the pearls, the diamonds. He smiled.
“Hello Yeosang. Congratulations,” she returned.
The man nodded respectfully before he glanced over her shoulder at the tall muscled man, eyeing Yeosang with clear adoration.
“San,” he greeted.
“Yeosangie,” San replied with a fond grin. His cheeks were blushed, maybe from the champagne they shared?
The athlete rolled his eyes lightly, playfully, before he settled his gaze on the lady.
“Did you make any bets?” he asked curiously, leaning into her with intrigue.
Her eyes widened. “Oh, no,” she exclaimed. She hadnt even thought of that; she was a guest after all.
“You know what? Yeosang’s right,” San retorted. His hand squeezed her waist. “Next time, you should bet some coin. We do all the time.”
Her brows crinkled, doubtfully. Not because she doubted Yeosang’s abilities. He was a powerful athlete. But betting… she swallowed a bit. She didn’t have much money to risk in general. She had just gotten used to having extra coins in her coinpurse. Her embarrassment burned at her ears.
“I’m not sure,” she said softly.
Yeosang eyed her before he hummed lightly. His gaze settled back on San, firmly.
“I’ll do it for you,” San said instead, downing the rest of his drink. His eyes reopened from the gulp and he shrugged. “I’ll buy you anything, honey. Everything.”
Yeosang laughed, lips curling. Pleased. He leaned in to whisper close.
“You’ve got our San, sweetheart. Wrapped around your pretty finger.”
The athlete’s fingers were close by still, and they tickled her fingertips playfully. If he was any bolder, he’d be holding her hand. But instead, like a tease, he pulled back. Licking his lower lip and flashing a charming smile that only a socialite had. Easy and well-practiced.
“I’ll buy you anything, too, baby,” San purred towards Yeosang. He looked at the buff man with a raised brow. He always looked so sharp, in a delicate way despite his rippling muscles.
“I know,” he teased.
Yeosang raised a hand to squeeze the younger’s cheeks fondly. San smiled, pleased, a mirror of the grin he gave her earlier. His cheeks looked plump in the other’s lean long fingers. Yeosang chuckled, squeezing them again before his hand dropped and he turned.
“Come with me,” he nodded over his shoulder. “We can talk in the shade – the weather is horrid.”
He was right; the clouds were whirling and swirling into what was sure to be a downpour soon. They walked further into the tennis court’s shaded areas – the betting shop in the corner with a long line. People, mostly men, were cashing in their rewards. San’s hands went to rest on the small of her back; if she had glanced aside, she’d see he did the same to Yeosang, guiding the pair of them this way and that.
A rush of reporters, dressed for the weather with raincoats and large brimmed hats, flooded towards the winner. Yeosang slung his black tennis racket over his shoulder, smiling and waving at the flashing paparazzi’s cameras. Her eyes shut at the bright lights. San’s hand squeezed her waist and tugged her closer.
“Sir, congratulations!” There were cries of celebration and excitement. “Good show! Good show!”
YN wasn’t used to such fanfare, and it made her fantasize of the flashing lights she was hopeful for. One day… she glanced over at Yeosang. She’d be like him. Successful. In his own right. He grinned politely at a reporter, waving with a tight structured wave.
“Mr. Kim! Is it true you know Kim Yunho?” she heard over the chatter.
Yunho… she had heard that name before. But where? She didn’t have time to think as San guided them throughout the crowd, his hand curling over her hip to keep her closer with the writhing crowd jostling them this way and that.
The athlete didn’t reply, and he let his friend guide him through the swarm until they entered a tented area. Once the tent’s curtains were tied together, Yeosang huffed.
“I despise paparazzi,” he admitted, scuffing his feet against the concrete as he walked.
The space wasn’t special, but it was private. Scattered about were a few folding chairs, a wrought-wire bench, and a grey-green locker. Yeosang went to it, and opened it with ease. Within it wasn’t much. A folded assortment of clothes, a letter plastered to the locker’s interior, an extra racket, and a water jug. He placed his dark racket within and picked up the water jug. Raising the glass jug to his mouth, he took a big gulp. San patted her hip encouragingly as he moved away going to sit on the nearby bench. YN tentatively took a seat in a folding chair.
“Your performances of Swan Lake are coming to an end, are they not?” Yeosang queried.
“Oh, yes. They are; will you be able to attend closing night… or any show anytime soon? I’d love to see you there.” she admitted.
Yeosang’s lips quirked against the water jug’s rim before he pulled it away. Swallowing, he nodded. “I would love to see you once more, Miss YN. In your element.”
“You must encourage him to come backstage,” she turned to San. Less asking and more pressing.
He nodded in agreement. Easily swayed by his lovers, he leaned back in his seat casually.
“Is it like this?” Yeosang asked; a hand went to push back his locks, sweatied and damp.
The sight of his sharp brows quirking in curiosity sent a flare of excitement through her. He was so handsome; she couldn’t help but awe. San chuckled at her ogling.
“It isn’t, Yeo.” San admitted. “The backstage is grand and too open with too many girls running about half-dressed and men staring at them.”
Yeosang’s eyes flickered to him. “Even our girl?”
San glanced at her, head tilting. “Not as of late.”
He pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and placed it in between his lips. The look he gave Yeosang confused her – sharp, dark, and biting as he bit down on the cigarette before fiddling with a silver lighter. Yeosang hummed lowly.
“San and Wooyoung are polite,” she said, as if that would help the conversation. As if that was the topic at hand. “They’re the best gentleman in the boudoir. Honest.”
San grinned around his cigarette as he finally lit it. He knew she spoke the truth. She always did around him now. It made him happy to know she was so comfortable around them that she didn’t even notice the glares he sent the way of any man that dared eye her as she switched costumes.
Little did she know what would happen to one if they did.
He puffed out smoke.
“I’d rather see you outside this boudoir then,” Yeosang commented, closing the locker’s door. “I don’t wish to see you improperly, sweetheart. I wouldn’t put you in that situation.”
“We don’t mean to either,” San coughed out, the smoke scattering about bashfully. He turned to look at her with the gentlest of eyes. “You’re painting me to be a villain, Yeo.”
“No, I know,” she interrupted. “I know San and Woo mean well.”
They had said so since the beginning. Wooyoung claimed he didn’t even know he was playing as potential patron until San said so. And now, well, she felt safe around them. When she was with them, when she was introduced to Yeosang, it made her feel permanent. Not a doll on a music box to show off around the right clientele.
Imara never had this.
“Still,” Yeosang tutted. “I’d hate that. If I had those reporters watching every little move I made back here.” He bared his teeth. “I’m sorry you have to suffer that, sweetheart.”
-
“Do you want diamonds?” San asked.
This was the fifth time he had asked if she wanted some grand gift as they walked home. The umbrella San had kept them mostly dry in the drizzle. YN knew he felt bad about the boudoir. Especially at Yeosang’s commentary.
“No,” she let out a chuckle.
“More pearls?” Not his favorite thing, but they looked pretty around her neck and they were useful.
“No,” she giggled, swinging their conjoined hands.
“Then what, honey?” he whined a bit, sounding childlike as he squeezed onto her hand.
She was surprised this bulky beefy man was acting so openly whiney in public. He didn’t need the illusion of masculinity to cling to; there was an element of strength in him deeper than attitude. Even if he was acting like a child.
“I’m okay,” she said.
He licked the back of his lips. Doubtful. He frowned before stopping in the streets. The lamplighters were out and about, lighting the last remaining candle lights amongst the new gas-line lamps. He didn’t falter. He didn’t care if they were intimately close. His hand around her wrist as he pulled her close in the wet setting sun.
“What do you truly want, honey?”
What did she truly want? She smiled up at him. All her life she had only wanted and yearned for one thing – til Wooyoung and him and Yeosang all tumbled into her life that is.
“I want to be a ballerina. The ballerina prima,” she told him sincerely. Her hand rose to pat his cheek softly. “You are helping me get it.”
His lips pouted as he looked down at her. He didn’t like that answer. That was a harder request. But he wouldn’t tell her that. Instead, he leaned forward to press a sweet kiss to her lips, so quick one would’ve missed it if it hadn’t tasted of champagne and cigarette smoke. His sweetened coffee cologne wafted over her soothingly like a chaser.
-
“Extra edition!” a newsboy cried out.
YN had been walking towards the newest restaurant that San and Wooyoung insisted on trying. It was expensive. Far too expensive for her, but San insisted per usual and Wooyoung pouted that without her he’d be bored. So, here she was walking the streets towards the richer side of town. The richer side of town where all the newsies made their routes; the rich had money to spare.
“Star tennis player Kim Yeosang associated with Kim Yunho, the man released on 1 million coin for murder in broad-daylight! Shocking details revealed.”
Now, that caught her attention. Her feet slowed until she came to a stop. For once, it felt like the newsies had given just enough information to lure her in. Her coin purse pressed against her thigh was heavy. Heavy enough to spare a few coins to buy the paper.
“I’ll take one, Jack,” she told him, digging into her pocket to hand him the necessary amount.
The younger grinned up at her. “Thank you, Miss YN.” He shuffled the heavy stack around, untying the twine to present the fresh-printed and warm newspaper her way.
She nodded in thanks as she unraveled it and began to read.
-
San and Wooyoung sat in the corner of a restaurant, talking lowly in the shadows as they waited. Only to be interrupted by a newspaper being plopped down on the table. Their eyes shifted from one another to the newspaper. Doubtful, almost darkened looks were engrained in their faces before they glanced upward to see their swanette. Haloed by the light pouring into the café, her arms were crossed; brow raised. Their expressions softened immediately like butter.
“Hello, honey,” San rumbled. He tugged the chair out for her.
“What’s wrong?” Wooyoung added.
They hadnt looked at the paper yet.
“What the fuck is this?” she murmured, taking the seat easily as she shoved the headline their way.
Wooyoung licked his lips at her expletive. She didn’t curse much in the boudoir. Hearing it made his cell burn, biting at his lower lip after a moment. He glanced down at the paper; that hot feeling fizzled at the headline. He sighed, head rolling back, before he glanced San’s way. San’s expression hadn’t shifted; not even a twitch of his brow as he looked over his glasses at his partner.
“It’s a long story,” Wooyoung replied.
“I’ve got time,” she retorted, crossing her arms. “Start with the part where Kim Yunho is living in your mansion. Kim Yunho, the man who shot a near-billionaire, dead, in broad-daylight after a supposed bet gone wrong.”
Her voice raised as she retold what the inky print said. She didn’t look intimidating in their eyes. Especially with her pout. San wanted to kiss it off her. Instead, he offered, “Yunho’s got a complicated past, but he only acted in self-defense.”
“He shot a man in broad daylight. Is Yeosang safe? Are you?” she worried. “Hongjoong?”
Wooyoung scooted close at that, hating the way her voice accelerated. San chuckled lowly, shaking his head.
“Oh, little bird,” Wooyoung hummed, taking her hand. “We are safe. We are safe. You don’t need to worry – is that why you are so upset?”
She frowned at them, her furrowed brow deepening. Wooyoung cooed.
“You are, oh, baby,” he hugged her, nearly joining her on her chair. “You are sweet, YN.”
“I’m worried; you are with a criminal,” she mumbled out, making sure her words were too loud. “I don’t want you getting hurt.”
Wooyoung stole a kiss. “You really are a doll, an angel. We are okay I promise.”
“You can’t just kiss me and tell me it’s okay. How? How is it okay?”
“Yunho is a free-man,” San reminded. “He didn’t break out of jail; he served his time; he paid his fees; he was let go. But apparently caught the attention of the press while doing so.”
“Poor Yeosang,” YN lamented suddenly. “He hated the paparazzi and now-“ she buried her head into Wooyoung’s shoulder.
The younger cooed. His hand going to pet at her back as he glanced over at San while her back was turned. There was a rustling of the newspaper, the crinkling paper being folded over.
“Yeosang will live. He’s been reported on his entire life. Yunho will not hurt us, promise, honey.” San replied. “You’re working yourself up. I’ll get you tea.”
There was a snapping sound of his fingers. A waiter obediently came. The man whispered his order as Wooyoung murmured to YN.
“It’s alright. It really is. You’ll see.”
San and Wooyoung’s eyes met once more.
They should’ve let Yunho meet her before this all happened; their shared grimaces said so.
-
Not even a day later, there were rumors about town. That night whispers about her patrons were all about the boudoir. The Ateez House truly was haunted some said. It had a killer living there. It made her scoff. There were seven others in that house – how could you build a house to be broken and haunted by one person?
The next day, a man from the newspaper company, the Cromer Chronicle, was missing. He had disappeared in the night without a trace. Or well, there was a trace. A letter saying he was going on vacation for a while. But few believed it.
Gossip roared. What was even more interesting, was that the newspaper headlines the next day were completely free of any mentions of Kim Yeosang or Kim Yunho.
But on her vanity, a letter rested with her name in an elaborate script signed by a certain man. The seal was the same ‘A’ emblem that both San and Wooyoung wore on a gold ring.
Miss YN.
You are cordially invited to join Kim Yeosang at the Ateez House estate for a night of fine dining. Casual attire permitted. I am so excited to see you again – if you will join me!
Yours,
Kim Yeosang
“Did you place this on the vanity?” she asked the two men who sat side by side on a sofa. Sometimes they looked too close for comfort; tonight was one of those nights. Wooyoung was nearly draped across San’s chest, his head cradled on his muscular shoulder as he stared up at her.
“No, swanette,” Wooyoung claimed. “Our hands are clean in this.”
He raised his hands in surrender, wiggling his fingers playfully at her.
“Yeosangie must’ve liked you,” San added with a smirk.
“You’d know,” Wooyoung muttered; San grasped the other’s hip warningly.
Wooyoung giggled out almost like a hyena, head tilting back in mischief.
“You should’ve seen how he looked at her, Wooyo,” San continued, his gaze flickering towards YN from over his spectacles.
“I know,” the other giggled.
“Will you be there?” she asked tentatively.
Her fingers fiddled with the corner of the thick cardstock Yeosang’s handwriting graced. She was used to their presence. They felt safe to her. They glanced at one another. San’s fingers trailed up and down Wooyoung’s waist. Wooyoung went to interlace their fingers smoothly. Squeezing it once and then twice.
“I’m not sure, honey,” San said. “We have business to attend to this weekend.”
“Sorry, pretty,” Wooyoung pouted at her. “We may see you in passing? If you miss us so much, we can meet you here early the next day. I want to hear all about you and Yeosangie.”
She smiled sweetly at them, flushing at the idea that the pair of them encouraged her to dine and possible flirt with another. It was strange but not… unfavorable. Yeosang was handsome. He was delicate but strong. Eloquent and interesting. Understanding. She liked his company. Despite the company he kept… her mind flickered back to the elephant in the room… or yesterday’s newspaper in the nearby waste basket.
“Is… Yunho –“ she asked, shifting this way and that. San couldn’t help but think she looked so sweet, so innocent, so naïve in her little feather tutu, all virginal white. “Is it safe for me - with Yunho there?”
They didn’t even need to look at one another. Wooyoung’s hand held San’s tighter as he shifted his gaze to simmer on her.
“Yunho would never hurt a lady, honey,” San replied, sincerely and instantaneously.
His hand outstretched for her to take. Which she did. It was San after all. Secure, sweet, strong San. He’s been so straightforward. She trusted him. His fingers caressed over her knuckles, “Especially you.”
“Okay,” she breathed. “I believe you.”
“Yeosang will be excited.” San promised, raising her hand for him to press a kiss to her knuckles. “We can deliver the news to him when we get home.”
He pressed a peck to each knuckle before continuing up her hand to press kisses over his bracelet. He placed a final sweet kiss to her pulse before pulling away, and pulling her towards their embrace. San could hold both of them in his lap after all. Wooyoung slid further down on the settee until his head rested on one of San’s thighs. His lips curled.
“I will send a car for you, swanette. You won’t have to lift a foot,” Wooyoung promised, reaching a hand up to tuck hair aside as she sat on San’s rippling thigh. “Easy-peasy.”
-
It was her first time in an automobile. She had traveled in carriages and open buggies but never something so expensive as a brand-new automobile. Something so polished and metallic and rich. Her excitement was almost like a child’s; her smile was bright at the sight of the car sitting curbside. Its lacquer was a deep-olive color, gleaming in the golden sunlight peeking out of the rain-heavy clouds. The chill that nipped at her heels and the rain that itched at the sky made her thankful that Wooyoung had sent a car for her – even if every single one of her neighbors were being nosey. She could see their faces pressed to their windows with curtains shoved aside haphazardly. No cars came here. And certainly, no car like this.
The driver was tall and handsome, his dark brown hair styled sharply across his forehead. A multi-layered suit with shimmering gold detailing looked expensive on his form, a long-coat making his appearance look clean cut and sleek. Just like the car.
His entrancing eyes were dark, siren-like as they locked onto her form as she hopped gracefully down the icy steps. He felt his breath catch. A mix of excitement and fear tumbled through his stomach. She looked so pretty. Her hair was done nicely and modern. Her day-dress was a pretty (if a bit washed out) green color, complimenting the car’s hue perfectly. The sparkle of her pearls around her throat and her diamond bracelet peeking from beneath the sleeve of the dark fur coat made him smile. His full lips quirked into a smirk of a close-lipped smile.
His eyes haven’t left her form yet. Not even when her mother stepped out to awe at the car and the man waiting for her on the curb.
“Hello, doll.” He greeted her, polite with a deep-voice.
His hand, covered in multiple rings, opened the passenger door for her.
“Hi,” she smiled at him, and he wanted to swoon then and there. But he stayed firm, icy, tall. It wasn’t his turn. He wasn’t even supposed to be here. But he knew the way to her house; he had a car. And he was higher than Wooyoung or San in the hierarchy. He’d do what he wanted to do… as long as the Captain allowed that is.
His eyes didn’t leave her as she entered the automobile, tucking her dresses beneath her lady-like. He closed the door behind her and circled around the car to enter the driver’s seat. He took a shaky breath before entering; he felt like a school boy. When was that a feeling he’s felt recently? (The Ateez House would say every time he whined and pouted at them like a princess.)
The interior of the car smelt expensive, too. The well-taken care of leather, the wiped down metal accessories, everything reeked of rich maintenance. Her eyes ate up the new machine, looking at the gearshift, the polished controls. There was even a record player in the dash.
She never realized how rich they were. It surprised her. He ate up how her eyes widened, and she sat so delicate, hands in her lap as if touching something would bite her. She was so cute. His lips curled into a smirk as he turned the key in the ignition. The car rumbled to life, and she let out a little sound of surprise.
He chuckled low, the sound reverberating around her. She glanced over at her driver. He looked casual in the driver’s seat. One hand was on the wheel; the gleam of an expensive watch shone at her. He was leaning back, his hand cupping the back of her car seat carefully as he began to pull the car away into the street.
He didn’t want to intimidate her. Wooyoung had said she was already so nervous about Yunho. So, he didn’t speak, didn’t tease, didn’t do much except drive. He enjoyed her gaze on him though. He watched her so many times that it made the back of his neck and the tips of his ears burn pleasantly. He tongued at his canines, hiding his smirk. His plush lips pursed instead.
Her awe shifted as he sped up, her eyes flickering to the streets that passed by, faster, faster, faster. Faster than any carriage or bike or trolley. It sent a whirl of excitement in her stomach.
“This is my first time in an automobile,” she admitted into the silence.
“It is?” his voice was deep as honey, and it made her spine tingle.
He glanced over at her. He wanted to show her so many new things. He was glad to have one of her firsts. Wooyoung had stolen so many. Her first date, her first kiss, her first embrace. He’d at least be her first car ride – one of many. He’d take her in any of his cars – if they were in the countryside rather than the city, he’d show her how fast these automobiles can go. He’d impress her. They’d go one day, he imagined. They’d go all sorts of places together. He’d show her the world if she wished it.
She hummed out in agreement, pulling him from his daydream.
“It’s nice,” she complimented, shifting her seat.
A flood of rose-petal aroma consumed him. Her perfumed skin. She put so much care into this; into them. It was intoxicating. His eyes locked on the road, his fingers trembling lightly. He flexed his hand and gripped the leather of the wheel tighter.
“Thank you, darling.”
The car ride was a quick one. Ateez House was on the outskirts of the city but not too far away to be a long journey. Just far enough to be private amongst the trees and rolling hills. It looked more alive than it had ever been in all the years she lived in Cromer. While the estate was sprawling and the mansion itself large and imposing with a complicated layout, it always looked abandoned. But now, there were crystal windows gleaming with light, gardeners trimming bushes, and luxury cars pulling into a nearby car garage. People tended to the large fountain in the center of the roundabout driveway, despite the threatening rain that rumbled in the sky. The mansion’s greyness seemed to fade with the orange-light the windows poured into the evening.
It was a phantom resurrected; the flame of life was burning within the house once more.
Mingi cleared his throat. “Welcome to Ateez House, YN.”
Her eyes were locked on his home; winding over the overlapping rooftops, grazing the glowing windows to see if anyone was looking out at them. Two figures, dark silhouettes at most, stood on the upper floor, one short and the other tall.
Her head tilted in curiosity before they walked off.
“Thank you,” she smiled at him before going to open her door. “And thank you for the drive.”
There was a squeak of leather as he shifted closer suddenly. His arm outstretched over her, bracing over her chest. Her gasp was all the sound that filled the air between them. Her head turned and they were nearly nose-to-nose.
He was so close. The blood-orange of his cologne licked at her senses, mingling with the polished leather so refreshingly. He smelled intoxicating and sharp. His face was only inches away; the fabric of his long-coat brushed against her. His hand closed around the metal handle of the car door, gently nudging hers aside. He laughed out nervously. His eyes were wide and gentle. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he flashed the sweetest grin she had ever seen, all toothy and bright. It sparkled… wait, he had diamonds on his teeth. His canines were adorned with gems that gleamed in the setting sun.
“Let me,” he bumbled out. He opened the door from within, before pulling his arm back. His cheeks were painted a rosy color that only made his flustered appearance look more sweet.
“Thank you,” she said, offering him a grin of her own.
She hoped he wasn’t too surprised by her own initial surprise. He was just trying to be a gentleman she realized. Bowing her head, she quickly ducked out of the car, closing the door behind her with care.
The only thought that filled his brain – besides the intoxicating smell of YN – was ‘damn you for winning, Yunho.’ After a long moment of breathing the remains of her deep into his lungs and watching her form walk towards his house, Mingi restarted the automobile with a rumble to guide it back to their private car garage.
-
Everything reeked of extravagance. Tall walls with recess ceilings and wainscotting details. Gilded gold and glowing gas-lamps. Italian-Renaissance inspired tiles of saints, angels, and the Heavens were inlayed in the ceiling. The floor was patterned, a rich expensive textile making up the carpet.
There were butlers lining the walls of the foyer; all in matching midnight pin-striped suits. It was almost eerie. They were like statues, repeating over and over and over. Expressionless. Each face was stoney, eyes ahead. It reminded her of when the ballet troupe lined up in their matching leotards and were separated by height; row after row. Slicked back hair, delicate body lines, starving ribs. Identical and indistinguishable until they reached prima title.
None of them acknowledged her except for one, a rogue, that walked up and nodded at her politely.
“Welcome to the mansion, Miss YN. Please, come.” He outstretched his hand to encourage her further into the lavish space.
She curtsied, uncertainly. One of the many ghostly butlers took her coat as she walked down the foyer’s hall. Her kitten heels were soft against the carpet flooring until they rounded a corner. They click-clacked across marble flooring, polished ‘til she could see her reflection.
“Mr. Yeosang has requested a meal to be prepared at the West Wing. Please follow me.” The same butler spoke once more before he turned to lead the way.
Following after him, she was awed by the space. The very place that had been teased and taunted and ghost storied about was a gleaming jewel. As they walked, she realized how each hallway, each living space was opulent. The current path had walls that were painted an ice-cold baby-blue. Yet there were touches of warmth everywhere. Fine art in gold-leafed frames, elaborate trims around columns and the floor were the same shining gold. The art was all heavenly. Literally. Gods, angels, and disciples portrayed in blurred brush strokes, painted with colors that ached of softness. Everything was all gold, fluff, and magnificence.
The ceiling had multiple heavy hanging chandeliers of pure jewels. Diamonds dripped from its wire frame and sparkled in the gas-light. Everywhere was gaslit; she was surprised. No one had notice workers here and yet it was modern. Not a speck of dust or age present anywhere – besides the ancient art she supposed.
She slowed as she passed a large Renaissance-esque painting full of cherubs with feathered wings and glowing haloes. Squinting, she saw one figure wearing a ski mask. Huh? A cat meowed nearby. Her attention was caught, her head turning to the sound. She stilled as she glanced down a nearby hall, one that seemed darker than the others. Doors lined each wall; all shut except for one at the end of that hall. It was opened just a crack, the siren call of a piano trickled out, and a little cat peered around its corner. The sweet cat was a midnight-black, almost blue-ish in tone; her tail twisted behind her as she meowed out again.
YN’s eyes lit up at the sight; the cat meowed again as it wiggled itself out of the doorway. Its paws and claws clinked against the tile, almost in rhythm with the piano music playing. Large green eyes peered up at her curiously as the cat approached; the collar around its throat was expensive – a leather thing with jewels, pearls, and a large silver bell that jingled out the closer it got.
She meowed at her again.
The piano stopped; the reverb humming out discordantly.
“Z?” a voice called out before a gentle melodic whistle chimed out.
The kitty’s attention was caught again, its ears perking up and meowing as if answering the call of its owner. It began to stroll back where it came from.
“Miss YN,” the butler’s monotonic called out.
Her head snapped towards him, answering his call immediately. She stood from the slight crouch she had taken for the kitten’s approach. Her butler stood some feet away, arms behind his back. She expected a disapproving look, but he provided none.
“Please follow me, Miss. We wouldn’t want you disappearing.”
That was almost worse! It sounded so ominous coming from his stone-faced mouth. She swallowed.
“Sorry,” she apologized before she quickened her pace to catch up to him.
“We wouldn’t want to keep him waiting.”
They continued to walk down this hallway and that hallway. Someone could easily get lost here. It was like a grand castle. Finally, after crossing some carpeted stairs, they were in front of a grand hallway of windows. As they passed, she could see a dreary exterior. Rain had begun to pour, fogging the outside in grey. But she could distantly see a maze of hedges, rose bushes, apple trees, and all sorts of gardens awaiting. She awed at the sight as they continued down the carpeted hall to come to a set of dark oak doors.
“One moment, Miss,” the butler warned as he entered the room quickly.
“Boss, er, sir – “
The doors shut behind him before she could hear any more. She was left alone. YN glanced aside at the wall opposite of the windows. There were inlayed gas lamps, glowing a soft yellow. A portrait hung nearby, painted in a similar style as the painting she saw before.
It was of a young man, a handsome one at that. His inky-black hair was slicked back in shiny waves, a singular strand curled over his forehead daintily. He was in all white, soft silken tunic and oversized bowtie of virginal white. Despite the softness of his attire and of the atmosphere surrounding him (he was almost painted with his own divine halo as if he was an apostle), there was sharpness to his midnight-black eyes and the smirk of his mischievous smile. His ears were pierced up and down, pearls and fine metals looping them in sparkles. A twinkle was shining at the corner of his grin as if his teeth gleamed in the heavenly light around him. He was beautiful, but she couldn’t help but feel like his dark eyes were staring her down.
The tall doors opened behind her suddenly. YN turned to see the reveal of a dining hall as luxurious as the rest of the mansion. But the aroma that wafted from its interior was far more intoxicating.
“Enter, Miss YN.” The butler encouraged, beside the door.
He held them open for her as she took a stride inside. Her lips widening into a smile as she prepared to greet Yeosang at the head of the table. But this was no Yeosang she realized as she gazed down the long, lavish table to meet the dark gaze of a stranger.
With a calculated look, he stared at her from the head of a ten-chaired, decadent table of hot food. It was more than she had eaten in months even with San and Wooyoung: sizzling side dishes, steaks covered in thick luscious sauces, cracked fruits that had a sweet nectar gleaming on them, chocolate-oozing pastries. An open bottle of red wine rested in a frosted chest of ice; eight crystal glasses sat upside down. One glass of red wine sat in front of her spot; the other in the grasp of the man’s hand. The ruby liquid gleamed like blood. A sea of lit-candles decorated the spare space of the table; the chandelier above keeping the candles instead of trading them for their gas-lit counterpart. The orange glow illuminated the intimate room in a hazy feel. Smoke trailed out of his mouth in a long plume, perfuming the delicious air with the heady scent of tobacco.
“Hello.”
His voice was a soft drawl. His close-lip smile was the same. Soft, slow, and confident. His eyes were illuminated by the flickering candles, making the darkness there look like a night sky spattered with stars rather than with blood. He tapped his cigarette into a crystal ash tray with his long fingers. Rings after rings curled over his knuckles; some sharp and some with the emblem ‘A’ just like San and Wooyoung shared. He raised the cigarette back to his lips to take another drag into his lungs.
“YN.” The smoke billowed from his lips as he spoke her name tenderly.
She should’ve left then, knowing it was different from what she had agreed to. She should’ve asked him where Yeosang was immediately – and who was he? But she already knew, didn’t she? She had worried about this man since she read the newsprint that bore his name.
She shifted, fingers tugging at her skirt as she heard the heavy wood doors shut behind her. The butler that led her here disappearing, leaving her with him. Her fingers pressed into the door behind her, tentatively. It didn’t budge beneath her. In the shadows of the room, she saw there were men lining the wall. Like ghosts, they didn’t speak or move – they simply stood like gargoyles surrounding a castle. One broke the line to pull out her chair opposite of her dining companion. Her eyes flickered back to the man at the head of the table.
“Hello,” she said instead. “Yunho.”
It wasn’t a stutter, but there was a pause in her words. Yunho’s laughter was almost fond as he chuckled out a plume of smoke before she was urged forward with a flick of his hand. Ashes splattered across the white dining cloth, sizzling burns into the fabric. She sat down in the chair pulled out for her; the servant pushed her in towards the table with a screech of the wooden legs against the wood.
The silverware in front of her was polished, gleaming in the candle-light. A perfectly folded napkin rested on the center of her gold-lined plate. The initial ‘A’ in a circle was embroidered fancifully in shiny black thread on the pristine white fabric.
Her fingers flexed against the wood arm rests of her chair as she looked down the table, over candles, meats, cheese, and vegetables at the intimidating man. He was far away, but perhaps that was the safest option for her.
“I like you already,” he proclaimed, his words solid and confident. His smile simmered.
“Please,” Yunho gestured to the piles of food in front of them with a hand, swinging the cigarette and a trailing path of smoke about. “I’m sure you’re hungry.”
Her stomach felt tight with nerves, but even so it grumbled at the sight before her. Everything smelt so nice and rich and oily. Decadent. She licked her rosy lips, dragging her eyes up to look at him once more.
“Where’s Yeosang?” she asked finally.
He smiled, a peak of glimmering teeth shining in the candlelight. No, it wasn’t his teeth that shined – it was the inlayed diamonds on his canines that twinkled. Just like the driver. Just like the painting.
“He’ll join us,” Yunho reassured. “He’s running late from a previous engagement. I promise.”
Her gaze was doubtful. Why didn’t he just tell the driver to alert her? She could wait. She was used to waiting upon rich men.
“Why are you here?” she asked.
“I was curious of you.” He stated as he raised his cigarette to his mouth once more. As he breathed out, he gestured again at the food. “Please help yourself. Wooyoung told me some of your favorites.”
There were her favorites; steaming and hot. Some tartlets from their recent date sat on a pearlescent serving tray. Tempting. Her stomach grumbled. Watching him carefully, she reached out a fork to stab into a piece of meat and plating it.
“I’m just a ballerina,” she claimed, eyes flashing to look at him as she picked up her utensils to cut at the singular item on her plate.
Yunho’s lips quirked up on one side before he glanced aside at a man. He nodded towards her and she couldn’t help but jump as a suited butler approached. Yunho’s gaze took in the small tension that rippled through her.
The butler began to pile up her plate with this and that. Steaming vegetables, savory pastries, fluffy mashed potatoes scented with garlic, sticky soy-sauce braised meats, pasta with a rich cream sauce, seafood with clarified butter. It was more food than she could finish. The amount of food laid out was enough to feed eight men.
“You’ve entranced my brothers for being more than just a dancer,” Yunho commented. “I wanted to see what was so special about their swanette.”
She swallowed, her throat dry. She felt like a trapped bird in a zoo being observed. She tried to imagine the boudoir around her rather than the intimacy of a dining table.
“I’m a good dancer,” she told him boldly. They like bold, an older ballerina’s voice was in her ear once more.
Yunho smiled. “I heard. I apologize for never attending a performance.” He said.
“You’ve been… busy,” she said. But not too bold. Another ballerina warned.
It was a dig, and Yunho knew it. She knew it too with how wide her eyes became. And still, his lips curled into a smile, his eyes simmered.
“Its no wonder Wooyoung took to you,” he breathed.
He raised his glass of wine to his lips and took a long sip. At the mention of Wooyoung, he saw the way the muscles in her face flickered. Lightening. Interesting. Placing the glass down, he leaned forwards, hand resting under his chin as he stared at her, intrigued.
She was intriguing. She had four members of the family wrapped around her little finger and here she was in his sticky webs. Yunho ached to figure her out, dive deeper. The vein in his forehead bulged a bit with his intensity.
His eyes felt magnetic. She had cut up her slice of steak into tiny bites at this point, but all he had done was stare at her. He had not a lick of food on his own plate. It felt more like an interrogation than a meal at this point.
So, she stared back. Her eyes met his, swallowing down her fear. The twisted mangled amalgamation of fear, intrigue, and something else. She was safe, she chanted internally. Wooyoung promised. San promised. He hadn’t done anything to her…yet.
She took in his appearance. While his eyes were a hypnotizing thing, his entire face was like one of a siren’s. Handsome with chiseled features. Sharp cupid’s bowed lips, sharp brows, sharp clean lines of his suit. A pair of glasses were tucked into his pocket… he needed glasses just like her Sannie. Her eyes darted up the line of his throat. His hand rose to bring his cigarette back to his lips. He tilted his head, the midnight-black hair swaying over one eyebrow smartly.
How were all these men so handsome? The driver, her patrons, Yeosang, Yunho. All breathtaking compared to the oil-grubby handed rich men of Cromer. It made her soften just a smidge, guard walls lowering as he breathed out smoke once more. Lips pursing delicately. Cheeks soft, she noticed. It was quiet. The clinking of her utensils against her meal was the only sound in the hall.
“Do you like dancing?” she asked. Dancing was safe. Dancing was all she knew.
“Enough,” he said. “My brothers like it more than myself.”
Brothers he said again. It was strange. Wooyoung spoke of the others as friends, dear ones – explained that the shared last name was something pushed upon them. Yunho embraced it.
“Then, sports?” she countered. “Tennis perhaps?”
Yunho chuckled lowly, and it felt like a tiger’s rumble. “No,” he laughed. “Not particularly – though, I have good hand-eye coordination.”
Her mind flashed to the shooting the newspaper relayed – a fictionalized imagining in her head bloomed. Him and his gun aiming and firing with ease, just like that man in the alley way.
“Oh,” she breathed.
He wondered if she knew how blatant her face revealed things. Her fear, her thoughts, her soul. It was strange though. Yunho didn’t want her frightened.
“I play against Yeosang often,” he clarified.
“Oh,” she repeated, a different tone trickling into her exclamation. Her knife scraped against the plate’s china, screeching out suddenly like a soprano at an opera house. Her gaze turned to it, surprised.
Her meat was completely shredded now. Almost inedible with how much she had sawed into it over and over.
Yunho laughed again, the sound warm and full. “Darling,” he cooed out, soft. “Please relax and eat. I insist. Yeosang won’t mind.”
Yeosang. Of course, that’s why she was prolonging it. Her smile was bashful and Yunho’s eyes swallowed it up just like she bit into a piece of her meal finally.
“Will you not eat?” she asked.
Innocent, sweet. Yunho’s eyes simmered as he reached out to grasp a fruit from an intricately weaved wired basket. He bit into a red apple, sharp and vicious. Juice dripped over his fingers, down his chin. He raised a black napkin to the corner of his lips wiping it away. His eye contact never ceased. Did he just wink?
“How long have you lived in Cromer?” he asked.
“My entire life,” she admitted.
He hummed out. “And the ballet almost as long I suppose?”
“Ballerinas are taught young,” she said.
“The best way to shape someone.” He snubbed his cigarette out in his ash tray.
“I suppose,” she admitted. “But I love dancing. Truly.”
It was spoken sincerely, passionately. He nodded. “It’s been mentioned. They say one can tell by just the way you breath. You are full of it.”
“D-dancing?” she queried.
“Love.” he countered. “Passion.”
Her eyes blinked owlishly. “Oh.”
“Do you love them?” he asked directly. His head tilted curiously.
The topic had shifted in tone dramatically suddenly. Her heart raced to its hummingbird speed once more. Her face blushed. Yunho drank it all in like the wine in his glass.
There was a clambering down the hall way, muffled by the oak doors. Her gaze broken from his, and she looked over her shoulder at the doorway.
“Here he comes now,” Yunho whispered.
As predicted, Yeosang came busting through the doors. His hair askew, his eyes burning with the cruel fury she had only seen on the court. His elegant clothes looked rumpled; the softness of his sweater that cut into a deep v revealed more skin that she had seen of the sportsman yet. A rose was pinned on his chest, gentlemanly, and yet somehow tempting her to stare at his chiseled chest more. A decorative scarf wrapped around his throat, disheveled.
He glared at Yunho with such contempt before it was washed away at the sight of her. He glanced her up and down, quickly as if his lingering gaze would be scolded. Appropriately for such an inappropriate action. His lips parted gently; his rounded face soft with a gentle blush.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” he immediately apologized, head bowing.
The long strands of russet-brown hair that framed his face swooped over his cheeks. His hand rose to tuck one strand back. “I was caught up with something unexpectedly.”
With little show, she stood, discarding her utensils to greet him. Her smile was soft, reassuring, genuine. She ducked her own head to catch his gaze – he was still glaring through his lashes at the man at the head of the table she noticed. But when he saw her own face come into view he straightened sweetly, awkwardly. But in such a charming way somehow. Yeosang was so charming even in his anger and discomfort. She didn’t want him to be in discomfort.
“Its alright,” she reassured him.
“We’ve just been chatting,” Yunho chimed from the end of the table. Unhelpfully.
Yeosang adjusted his leather gloves nervously, tugging them off finger by finger.
“I see that.” Yeosang rumbled.
His eyes settled back on her like she was his seas’ moon.
“You look lovely, YN,” he complimented. Her smile lit up the room, he swore.
He licked his lips, deep voice humming out as he looked over the table.
“I-I,” he gestured to the table, the meal he had ordered the chef to prepare, “I have those tarts you liked at the café on Riverfield Street.”
She smiled at him; he was so cute.
“Thank you,” she grinned. “And I saw. They look perfect.”
He breathed out a little, fixing his clothes once he tucked his gloves into his back pocket.
“It’s been perfect,” she tried to reassure him, sensing his anxieties. His blooming nerves. Her hand reached out to squeeze his.
He jolted at her touch, just enough for her to catch it. His ears were red. Yunho’s grin was wide, sparkling.
“Thank you for the invite.”
“Of course, I wanted –” he glanced at Yunho’s leering gaze. “I wanted to get to know you better, sweetheart.”
“And we shall,” Yunho agreed. “Sit, Sangie. Let’s eat.”
A butler appeared to pull out a seat for him. It wasn’t near either of them, in fact. It was the third seat to the left side of the table. Yeosang glanced at the butler silently before pulling out the chair directly beside YN and seating himself.
He was served a selection of the meal, silently. She went to break the silence.
“How are you?” The headline still brandished itself in her mind. His words about paparazzi left a lasting impact.
Yeosang huffed out. “Well,” he replied. “News articles come and go. I’ll remain on top of my game regardless.”
Yunho nodded steadfastly from across the table. “It’ll be nothing by the next game.”
Yeosang offered her a smile. “Thank you for worrying about me. I’ve survived worse.”
She nodded solemnly. “I don’t like it still.” Yunho watched the interaction carefully. His brow quirked.
“How are you liking Cromer?” she asked. She was used to asking men how they enjoyed the show… but that wasn’t an option here when the room lulled into silence.
“It’s different. But I’ve seen places as beautiful as Aurora, as desolate as the Strictlands, and as rural as Paradise. Cromer reminds me of Aurora in a different way.” Yeosang explained. “It feels homely.”
She smiled. “Ateez House is yours, correct?”
“Its in the family,” Yeosang replied.
“What do you think of it?” Yunho queried.
“Its very nice,” she politely said.
Yeosang tilted his head fondly at her. “Meaning?”
Her brows crinkled in surprise. “Its—nice?” she repeated.
“Shall I remind you what San encourages you to do, sweetheart?”
To be honest. How did he know about that? Her neck and ears became a soft pink in the candlelight. Swallowing, she glanced to the side.
“It is genuinely nice – its just… this house has been called haunted my whole life,” she told them. “There are ghost stories linked to this mansion. It’s strange being here and seeing that it is, in fact, not rotting or some supernatural force of nature.”
Yeosang chuckled out, smiling sweet.
“There are stories?” he leaned in. “Do tell!”
“I love a good gruesome story,” Yunho commented.
But for some reason, the way the words lilted in his tone didn’t make her flinch like before… in fact, was he teasing her? Her eyes flickered from Yeosang’s open form to Yunho. His cheek rested on his hand; elbow pressed into the table as he eyed her with Yeosang.
He smirked at her as they met one another’s eyes. He nodded, urging her. And so, YN went into the ghost story she had been told as a little girl, sitting among the tutu’ed training ballerinas while her mother did alterations on the prima’s show-stopping costume.
“The story goes that this house was home to a Captain,” she started, twirling pasta about her fork as she spoke.
Yunho and Yeosang’s eyes locked.
“The Captain was no ordinary captain; he was the fiercest pirate king of all. With his crew, the Black Pirates, they terrorized the seas and reaped countless treasures. When he grew old and hoarding like a dragon, he docked at Cromer under a false name. Ateez House was built upon blood-soaked jewels and coins; they say the pirate captain passed in his vault, hidden deep in the mansion’s basements. His bones are still there, unrested. His ghost terrorizes the house and refuses to let any soul except his pirates’ prowl.” She dramatically told.
Her fingers wiggled sensationally. “Or that the treasure was haunted by those they robbed and killed mercilessly. Their ghosts remain and haunt these halls.” She shrugged her hands landing back in her lap. “The story changes every so often.”
“What a story,” Yunho breathed. “Do you believe it?”
“It’s just a story. Maybe there are some real parts but… ghosts aren’t real. I’m not that silly of a girl.”
“You aren’t,” Yeosang commented immediately.
“But everyone in town knows it, so it sticks,” she told them, reaching out for the glass of wine in front of her and taking a sip.
“Cromer loves its gossip.” Yeosang commented.
“They’re stuck in their ways,” Yunho added.
“What do you think of Cromer?” she redirected to Yunho.
He took a small breath in. His previous grimace faded and his brow crinkled as he looked at her thoughtfully. His lips pressed together before replying.
“At first,” Yunho said, tilting his chin. “I did not like it… but now…”
His gaze felt hot, ever present. There wasn’t a barrier of modesty she often felt with other men. Yeosang’s was intense. San’s was careful, observant. Wooyoung’s eager and challenging. Yunho’s was steadfast. Confident. Even the men in the boudoir knew there were limits. They had their wives. They had their image with the other men within the boudoir itself. Here she felt both hunted and examined. Admired but equal. He was looking at her soul.
“Now, I like it.” Yunho purred. “Very much, darling.”
He placed his silverware down with a clink. He leaned forwards, hands pressing into the table.
“There’s more to you that meets the eye,” Yunho commented. “I see that, so now I will let you speak your mind, truthfully.”
Her heart nearly stopped. Was he going to ask her about her love again? In front of Yeosang?! Her eyes remained on him steadily. Her ears burned.
“You’re frightened of me, yes?” he said.
It was strange to feel relief at the confirmation of something so horrible. Because she was still nervous around him, for his boldness frightened her just as much as his previous actions. Yeosang’s eyes shifted to her, widening as he watched her nod.
“Sweetheart,” he reached out for her hand, petting her phalanges but not grabbing it. He simply wished to reassure her. Just as she had done for him earlier.
“San and Wooyoung said I didn’t have to be,” she replied. She licked her lips.
“Ask me what you want to know.” He stretched back into his chair, neck flexing as he met her gaze.
“Is it true? Should I be frightened?”
“That’s not it,” he laughed a bit, lip curling almost scornfully, scoldingly. He raised a brow, head tilting as if weighing his options. “But no, you don’t need to be frightened. Ask another.”
“I don’t have another question.” She countered, only to state simply and firmly. “You shot a man.”
And he smiled. “I did.” Yunho confirmed.
“On purpose?” she asked.
“Yes, darling.”
Her blood felt cold. She hadn’t met someone like him and it sent her stomach into a cramping mess. Yeosang did take her hand now. Interlacing his fingers softly. He glanced over at his elder as he rose from his chair. Oh, Yunho was tall. Very tall, in fact. With them sitting, he looked giant. His heels thudded against the floor.
“Why?” she asked. Yeosang felt her hand tighten in his grasp.
“He tried to fool me, steal from me,” Yunho stated, walking towards them. “Lied to me. I don’t like being played.”
There wasn’t a moment for the words to sink in for YN. Instead, like a game of tennis, she shot back.
“So, you shot him? Just like that?”
“For your information, yes.”
“That’s frightening.”
“Yes.” Yunho was beside Yeosang now.
“But!” Yeosang was the next to interrupt. “If you must know… Yunho isn’t some cruel man, sweetheart. It was done in self-defense.”
“Self-defense?” she asked doubtfully. Wooyoung and San said so themselves as well.
The air that Yunho carried seemed to be more than that. He wasn’t exactly proud, but he was at peace with what he did. Yunho’s face pulled into a tight thing as he rested a hand on Yeosang’s shoulder. They both looked at her inquiringly.
“He pulled a blade on Yunho,” Yeosang interjected. His gaze flashed to her. “He has the scars to prove it.”
They had an answer to everything. It was self-defense. Not a thing of violence. Of necessity.
She stared at them
“It wasn’t… he struck first?” she repeated slowly.
They glanced at one another before smiling at her with dual grins. Yunho tapped his fingers on Yeosang’s shoulder before he pulled back. A hand went to his chest, gentlemanly and earnest in nature.
“Yes.” He ensured.
Her eyes flickered to Yeosang. He had been a sensible figure – likeable, nothing formidable. If he trusted him, if her Wooyoung and San did. Yunho spoke with such authority. He valued truth just like San did.
Her defensiveness, something she didn’t even see in her body language, softened. Yunho’s sigh was one of understanding as he walked back to his seat, stealing a glance at her. He smiled again, his teeth gleaming in the cande light.
“YN.” He spoke her name luxuriously. “If there is one thing you should know about me. I don’t do mess.”
He plucked a dessert from his plate, biting into the chocolate with slowness. Calculated. He kept her gaze. It sent a thrill through her; he sent a thrill through her. Swallowing together, the corner of his lip curled. He raised a napkin to his lips, gentlemanly.
He was a gentleman, straightforward and powerful. He had to be telling the truth.
“I’m not a messy man, darling-doll.”
The dinner didn’t last much longer. Yeosang encouraged conversation; Yunho threw in some topics, mostly of things she had mentioned to San and Wooyoung. It struck her then that they shared many stories about her. They must’ve talked about her a lot. It made her cheeks flush as red as the chocolate strawberries Yunho ate.
Their eyes were hot on her; it felt like they were captivated and it made her heart race. Like she was on the stage.
She liked it.
Surprisingly, her two patrons made an appearance at the end of the meal. Wooyoung, of course, was the one to pop his head into the grand dining room.
“Swanette!” he beamed at the sight of her.
Yunho took in how her shoulders softened and her chest heaved at the sight of Wooyoung, at his voice. He smiled, softer and truer than any other smile he shared tonight so far.
Wooyoung was dressed the most casual she had ever seen him. A fashionable patterned white-and-black button-up shirt was barely buttoned, revealing a black ribbed tank-top beneath it. His hair was pushed back casually and messy; a rolled cigarette was behind his ear. His slacks were a deep black, loose and flowy rather than a structured fabric.
“Woo,” she barely got out, her mouth dropping at the sight of him.
He smirked, arms slinking over the chair and over her shoulders.
“Hello hyungs,” he greeted the others, barely glancing at them before ducking his head and pressing a less-than-decent kiss to her mouth. Smothering and all consuming. She squeaked into it. A ringed hand rose to cup her guide her head in the kiss, icy cold against her flushed red cheek.
Yeosang and Yunho chuckled out. The sound was a mixture of fondness and annoyance. Yunho’s brow twitched. Yeosang’s hand held hers tighter… he hadn’t let go, of course. But YN hadn’t noticed the entire dinner and dessert. ‘Til now. Her fingers flexed in his as Wooyoung swiped his tongue across the seam of her lips.
“Alright,” San scolded Wooyoung, his hand going to the back of the shorter’s neck. He nearly pried him off her. “Wooyoung!”
“I missed her,” Wooyoung said simply, flushed face and breathless.
His hot breath fanned over her rosy face; his lips were spicy and left hers burning. Mischief twinkled in his eyes as he stole another kiss from her lips. San pulled him back again with a harsher hand.
It was then she got a glance of her other patron. San had freshly washed hair, the locks combed out and dripping over his forehead. He wore a similar tank top to Wooyoung, but in a white shade. Shockingly, he had a pair of workman’s light-washed blue jeans hugging his thighs. Thick thighs, muscular shoulders, tawny honey skin. It was tantalizing, tempting. But when she looked over his face, her mouth dropped in surprise. A bruise kissed at the corner of his lips; his sweet smile tarnished with a purple-red watercolor splotch.
She couldn’t help stand immediately, half in the clutches of Wooyoung. Her hand rose to cup San’s cheek.
“Honey!” he exclaimed out in surprise.
He didn’t shift away, actually bending at the knee for her height, but San was certainly surprised. He had taken the lead between them often. YN rarely made the first move with either of her patrons. But what he had mistaken for sexual tension only led to pain. He was shocked when her thumb’s brush against his lips made pain radiate up his face.
“Ow,” he whimpered, frowning. His brow furrowed.
Yeosang laughed nearby. “He forgot he’s hurt,” the athlete commented.
“It’s been a while,” Yunho added, finishing his drink as he watched the interaction play out.
San’s lips pressed together, blinking rapidly before taking in the concern look on her face.
“Oh, honey, I’m okay,” San tried to reassure. His hand rose to cup her hand that was pressed to his jaw, thumb brushing over it soothingly. “It doesn’t even hurt.”
“You just said ow, you liar,” she scolded him, brows furrowing. “What the hell happened?”
“I’m fine,” he swore, tilting his head to press a kiss that stung his mouth to her palm. “Promise.”
“This town is getting more and more dangerous,” she breathed out.
Her thumb brushed over his cheek softly. His pretty face marred. Without his glasses on, she could see how his eyes sparkled in the chandelier’s candlelight. Soft and starry, as if she hung the world.
“You are an angel,” he murmured. “I’m okay. I’ll live.”
“Wooyoung, will you tell me what happened?” she prompted, not moving. Wooyoung pressed to her side made a humming sound.
“The streets are rough around here,” he said. “Someone really ought to fix that.”
Yunho huffed from across the long table.
San smiled at her again, eyes falling into half-moons. He pressed a kiss to her forehead. His lips stung to do so, but she was worth it. “Thank you for worrying.” He told her. His stomach did somersaults at the thought of her jumping to his aid.
“Shall we walk you out, swanette?” Wooyoung directed instead, head tucking over her shoulder to look at the table. “Yunho has a meeting to attend unfortunately.”
Yunho hissed in through his sparkling diamond-inlayed teeth. “Does the—”
San nodded.
He breathed in through his nose before offering YN a simmering smile. Full of warmth. “It was lovely meeting you, Miss YN. I hope to see you very soon.” He bowed politely before with long-legged strides left the room. Wooyoung winked at him as he passed.
“I’ll join you,” Yeosang offered YN. “You must come visit again soon – in the spring, the gardens are beautiful. We could have tea or -”
“Yeosang likes to take long strolls through the gardens – even if it’s raining,” Wooyoung revealed, finally peeling himself off her back to look at the selection of food laid out. He plucked a grape from a platter.
“You gossip like the upper-class now,” Yeosang commented, raising a brow.
Wooyoung laughed brightly at his friend before popping the fruit into his mouth. “Eh, they rub off on you – I had to keep up with you, Sangie.”
Hmm, it was an interesting interaction. Playful but also… strange. She knew their pasts implied they hadn’t always been wealthy… Yeosang had been a protégé tennis player at a young age but how did he meet Wooyoung? Was it all because of Hongjoong?
San’s hands squeezed her waist. When had both of his hands shifted there? “You sleepy, honey?” he asked.
“Too filling of a meal,” Yeosang complained as he rose to his feet.
As if the food was her reason to getting lost in her head.
“It was perfect,” she countered, taking a step back. “Thank you again for the invitation.”
“Thank you for gracing us,” Yeosang replied, offering her his hand. She took it, and he pressed a kiss to her knuckles. A picture of a gentleman. But he was quick to wrap her arm up into his, pulling her into his side now. Surprisingly daring for the Yeosang she knew.
“Shall we?”
Their exit seemed to take forever just as before. Yeosang lead her down hallway after hallway after hallway. It almost felt like they were navigating a maze. San and Wooyoung framed the two in; Wooyoung on her side and San on Yeosang’s.
“How was Yunho?” San prompted, tentatively. “He didn’t scare you?”
“Did he frighten you – when you were alone with him?” Yeosang repeated, arm tightening around her.
“No, no, he wasn’t frightening,” she reassured them. “He was a surprise certainly.”
“Ah, Yunho was sneaky. He doesn’t like the opera, so he found his own way to meet you,” Yeosang sighed. “I feel like he caused the trouble for me on purpose, so I’d run late. You’re popular around here, sweetheart.” He squeezed her arm teasingly.
“Who else here?” she chuckled. Seonghwa? Hongjoong? She hadnt yet to see either of them – like they were ghosts.
“You’d be surprised,” Yeosang commented before leaning in and admitting. “I quite like you, too.”
He made her cheeks burn red, and Wooyoung giggled.
“She likes you too, Sangie,” he crowed out, fingers reaching to tickle her waist. “I’ve seen her blush over San, over you… Do you like Yunho as well?” Wooyoung queried, his words becoming less and less playful. They were almost inquisitive, as if testing the waters instead.
There was a crack as he lit a match across a gold-leafed frame. He placed the cigarette that was behind his ear to his lips and lit it.
“I did,” YN told him, honestly, as they continued through the foyer. Wooyoung chuckled out, smoke puffing out in front of his face in surprise. He wasn’t expecting her to admit it so fast.
“Not like that,” she interrupt his giggles, face burning. “I just—”
Looking down another hall they, she made out Yunho’s form, tall and slim walking down the hall with purpose. His back to her as they turned into the foyer finally.
“He was kind. Even if he was a bit intimidating… he wasn’t cruel or harsh. Just… confident.”
Yeosang smiled close-lipped. Wooyoung blew out his smoke to the side, the plume passing over the butlers’ faces. Not one flinched or coughed.
The smell of expensive tabacoo wafted over her face warmly as Wooyoung walked in front of them to push open the large heavy doors of the mansion.
“So he wasn’t so scary after all?” he teased. “Wait ‘til you meet Hongjoong and Hwa-hyung. They’re properly-”
“Wooyoung, don’t tease her,” Yeosang defended.
The younger raised one of his hands in defense as he held open the door for them. “I’m just saying – she got pass the guard dog.”
“She hasn’t met Jongho yet,” Yeosang giggled lightly. “He’s truly got a bad case of looking gruffer than he is. He’s our baby.”
Jongho. She had only heard that name once, and it was that night. Her ears rang.
“Jongho?” she queried softly.
He had been at the opera! He was one of their ‘brothers’.
“Or Mingi--Ah, here he is now,” San commented, smiling over at the man standing in front of the green-painted car.
“Hello,” the driver greeted, voice as deep as earlier. His eyes flickered to her arm in Yeosang’s.
Wooyoung smirked at him. “Mingi, I didn’t know you were driving today,” he said.
“I thought you and San were doing business today.”
“It was a fast deal.”
Mingi looked unamused, his siren-eyes looking him and San up and down. “Uh huh.
“You know a Jongho?” she turned to Yeosang as they spoke.
“Jongho is the youngest of us. You’ll meet him soon, sweetheart,” he reassured, squeezing her arm. “He’s busy too often. I think they overwork him; he’s just a boy.”
“He’s only a year younger than us,” Wooyoung commented with a pout.
“He’s a baby,” San agreed offhandedly.
“I think I—"
“Is she going the hell home or not?” Mingi bit out. Before looking bashfully at her. “Sorry, doll,” he apologized for his gruffness. “I’m not used to a dame being around.”
“Its okay,” she mumbled out. Her mind was preoccupied with trying to figure out why Jongho was at the opera… without his supposed family knowing.
Mingi pouted at that. “No, its not.” He admitted. “Don’t take disrespect.”
Her distracted gaze rose and nodded softly, not really processing his words.
Wooyoung tsked out. “Here he goes about respect,” he sighed out. “Hurry up, swanette, or else we will be here for hours.”
There was a rumble of chuckles in the group. Yeosang squeezed her arm once more before pressing close to her ear, cheek to cheek. A whispered “next time it’ll be just you and I, hm?” was hushed into her ear before he unwound himself from her and allowed the others to hover about. “I’ll see you next time, Miss YN.”
San pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he promised. “And again, I promise you, I’m fine.” He pressed another kiss to her hairline before guiding her into Wooyoung’s arms.
He was warm and smelt of smoke. His grin was playful, wolfish as he leaned down and stole her lips into a kiss. He was getting bolder and bolder. His kiss was hot, a lick of his tongue into her mouth this time. She squeaked and he chuckled deeply.
“Mmm,” he moaned as he pulled away just a fraction. Wooyoung smiled as if he was innocent but his teases were devilishly. “Perhaps I should call you little mouse instead of swanette.”
She pushed at his chest, playfully. Wooyoung tugged her closer, grinning. Her face was akin to a rose.
“Let her go, Wooyoung,” Mingi said from the side. His face was sharp as he glared at the other. He didn’t appreciate the teasing. “She must be tired.”
Wooyoung heaved a sigh as if this was the hardest thing to do. He pouted at her before stealing a kiss, pressing a peck to her nose. “Fine,” he relented, unwinding her from his spider web embrace.
“See you soon, pretty. Mingi will make sure you get home safely.”
Mingi nodded steadfast before he offered her his hand.
“Shall we, baby-doll?”
-
Next time, when she woke, it was to a cat’s sandpaper-esque tongue licking her cheek. Little tiny licks with the familiar nuzzle of her wet nose, Z investigated her like any other day. The little more-blue-grey-than-black cat sniffed at her, the talkative pet meowing loudly. Her green eyes blinked slowly at her before she nudged her cheek with her forehead once more.
Her body didn’t burn. It didn’t ache. It didn’t feel like anything. Whatever drugs she was on, they were good. She blinked at the kitten, slow to do anything once more.
She was still in Yeosang’s room. The smell of him was all around her, Jongho’s familiar gardenia aroma mingling in the sheets. YN tried to move. Pushing herself upwards was easier than before but the slightest shift in her legs reminded her of the heavy casts that wrapped her ankles. The pain nothing like before but there was still the zing up her knees that made her pause. Her breath caught as she stared at her limbs before her.
Her reality. Bedbound, grounded. It was a depressing thought. Even more depressing when she realized she wasn’t sure what day it was nor what hour. How many shows had she missed? Did her mother know she wasn’t well? Was she just the same as those folk written about in the papers? Missing and forgotten.
She let out a shuddering breath as she laid back into the fluffy luxurious pillows, contemplating what to do. Should she cry out for them? Hongjoong was the last face she remembered but she didn’t want to see him. Or Seonghwa. Or any of them. Really. Anger burned her throat like the nearby fire place. Z’s whiskers dusted over her arm, nudging at her for attention as she let out another inquisitive meow.
“Leave me alone, Z,” she mumbled into her pillow. The little tongue peaked out to lick her again. “Stop, Z; go away.”
Her tone was raising with her rising grief. That was the only way to describe what she was feeling grief – a mixture of hoping, pleading, that everything had been a dream only to be reawaken to reality. Anger and sorrow clashed like cymbals in her head.
The cat nuzzled her again, and she snapped this time.
“Z, go!” Her hands shifted the quilts aside in a huff, making the little cat hop away, back arched.
“Z, come here,” a voice, melodic as it was masculine, called. The doorway creaked open, the gaslight in the hallway illuminated his figure, bulky in the best way. “Love isn’t in the mood to play.”
She frowned over at him, even if Z hopped off the bed and went towards Jongho eagerly. Her little body pressed against his leg as she passed him, purring softly. He smiled after his kitten before his gaze settled back on his love bed ridden.
“Hi love,” he greeted. “How are you feeling?”
“Angry,” she told him.
“But not in pain,” he smiled.
The youngest crawled up onto the bed, sheets rustling and ruffling as he settled beside her. Jongho wasn’t one to be silenced by a glare or dirty look. He was made for this world – his hyungs’ beloved aegi was used to getting what he wanted. And she was his baby. His love. He wanted her.
She turned her rageful eyes his way. He simply smiled just like the others. “I know,” he hummed. “I tried to warn you.”
He had. He cried to her last night… or a few nights ago? Her anger was quenched by those tears now. Her eyes softened just a smidge, and Jongho took a mile. He pressed his lips to her forehead in a soft kiss. His arms wrapped around her ‘til she was caught in his embrace, warm and coddled.
He indulged in the way she didn’t pull away or yell. He had heard her shouts at Yeosang’s attempts at affection.
“What happened? I remember waking up in pain – why?” she murmured into his chest. Trying to gather information from when she was asleep.
Even now, she felt safe in his embrace. It caused a horrible sinking feeling in her stomach.
He heaved out, her head rising and falling with his chest. “You had an infection – the doctor said it was possible dirt from that alley way. It entered your injury for too long. He fixed it.”
“Is he alive?” she mumbled.
“By Yunho’s grace.”
She felt the ebbing and flowing rage, the despair rush over her again. Almost as if sensing it, Jongho shifted, his chin tilting into his chest to look down at her. He moved to tilt her own chin to meet his gaze. Fiery passion burned there. He liked it better when her passion burned for her dancing… but he supposed it had to go somewhere while she was incapable.
“It’s the way things are,” he told her. “Stop fighting it.”
Stop fighting and give in. Look what fighting did. Just let them control her…
YN scoffed. “I’m not some doll,” she bit back. “Or some—"She wriggled like a worm on a hook. Jongho’s eyes ached, and he reached for her hands. He cupped them in his. His bloodstained ones. How many time had he scrubbed away ichor? Dug it from under his nails? Her hands were dainty.
“It’ll never touch your hands,” he interrupted earnestly. “You’ll never bear it. Our work. Our lifestyles. If that’s what you’re afraid of.”
“I’m bearing it now,” she whispered to him, voice breaking. “I’m afraid of you.”
He frowned, his face firm and thoughtful. He was always thinking her Jongho. He never stopped. His thumbs brushed over her palms, his forehead pressing to hers intimately.
“You tried to leave,” he said. “I didn’t want this. None of us did. If you hadn’t, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“You understand what that means – I’m just something you control like your butlers and your members and your-.”
“No.” Jongho interrupted soft and earnestly.
“You are no pawn, my love. You are our priority… our treasure. Always.”
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workout mix
#this was fun to draw but hhghrghrgh again i spent too much on it im so bad at just making satisfying doodles fast#like i wanna draw stuff as warmup thats fun to do & also ideally looks kinda nice bc THEN i need to try to get other more serious work too#but at the moment i just spend too long on the warmup & then fail to move on to something else hhhhhh#i'll get better i'll get faster i'm not dead yet#anyway yeah she's listening to you're gonna go far kid. you know why. my little pony rainbow dash you're gonna go far kid [explicit].#shevr#my lines#mlp
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happy birthday king thanks for giving us the funniest mental image for dsmp that one time
#i think about this every day of my life its so funny#especially if you remember that time techno chased quackity and scared the hell out of him. it would be so much funnier if he was A Baby#everyone is scared of this infant#anyway happy birthday technoblade i miss you king#technoblade#technoblade fanart#dream smp#dsmp#nest art#im going to try to draw something else too but i needed to get this out of my brain lol#ctechno being a tiny little guy makes everything in dsmp infinitely funnier. like if hes a kid or a little pig its just so funny#'hes terrifying' hes literally just a little birthday boy
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I saw everyone else drawing a full moon & wanted to join!
#sesskag#sesshomaru#kagome#sesshomaru x kagome#inuyasha#my art#ok ANYWAY#I was very excited to do the pantssssss i love this denim palette+brush its so fun#and less daunting to draw clothes! well modern clothes#I liked playing with brushes on this! I loosened my wrist and let it do what it wanted to kagome's hair#and I actually like ittt I have to remind myself hair is not just a dead thing on your head 💀 on my hairspray shit😆#I just needed to play and loosen up and focus on something elseeee anything else 😩 sesskag is nice its calming#I actually like looking at this omg I'm like next time i feel like going all out#I'm going to reference this photo because there are thingsssss#i wanted kagome's hair to pop more since its kinda the main feature AND I think I accomplished that#I could render it more but...nnnahhhh nah that's my too much gene trying to get out#Im gonna recharge and render the hair even better next time#and sess' hair fringe/bangs are getting harder and easier its weird#yoart
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Nights like tonight are why i have a denial kink😭
Sexual vent below
#:(#its my 4th O and im tired#but this burning sensation wont go away inside of me and its too distractimg when i try to do something else#im literally in an unfunny way; tired of cumming.#need a hug :'(#theres also so much shame and misery in masturb-tion...#i know it can be fun for other people but i just have a rotten fruit for a brain......#i feel so gross but i need this lava outta me#ironically the sensation is inside where it hurts to put things so i cant rub it to soothe the burn or anything#i cant even put my fingers in lol too painful#so im just jacking off my cl!t to pain and exhaustion until i can get rid of this feeling and do fun things like draw or sleep
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another vent in the tags ugh i should try and do something nice rn
#my pains got so bad again that i threw up again#it's tiring because. i can't even eat atp without worrying about whether it'll make me feel so nauseous i throw up#the doctors wanted to try another new medicine but its put straight in the rear and. shouldnt be shit out. and. yknow. IBD ....#so i obviously do shit it out like immediately ... bcus i cant help it#i probably have to call them on monday to let them know ive started throwing up too#couldnt even go upstairs today without taking breaks bcus of the stomach pains#and theres so much blood all the time#i need to. think about something to distract myself from this bcus i know i shouldnt be ashamed of my condition and i cant help it#but im ashamed anyway and im frustrated and hate myself because i cant do anything else but lie down rn. cant even sleep for the most part#i get like 2 hours sleep max in a day#i kinda wanna draw my apex oc but i suck at designs and idk how to design her clothes LMAOAOA#just wanna draw her interacting w people tbh#also i want more alter content but idk what to make#i just love her
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I NEEED to go back to making art that makes it ABUNDANTLY clear that theres something wrong with my brain BUT NOT in a cool or stylishly interesting way. i need to do it in a way that makes people say "hm." and walk away
#sowwy ive been kinda going through it in my fine arts major rn can u tell HJKSDHKFd#ive been feeling like. scared. and paralyzed by marketability and branding.#i cant stop thinking about how other people will see my art. but not like in a good way#when i was younger i thought about it in a good way. like hee hee hoo hoo the act of looking connected us hee hee#but rn i keep thinking about it in like this wretched like consumer product mindset? ouhhghhhhh el problema es el capitalismo#and like maybe this works for some people. to think like this. to make art like this. its what my professors push me towards#not intentionally. they dont say it out loud at least. im not sure if they know or not some of the irony#my professors are nice and pretty smart and talented and i like em. but sometimes i wonder like. the push for us as students to make like#marketable 'avant garde'? stuff thats safe but pretending to be weird and out there#i dont mean to sound pretentious. in general i play it too safe myself (spent too much time as an edgy 10 year old with my#parents freaking out over my shoulder because they think the fact that i drew an anime character frowning means something serious LOL)#but i dunno man. my least interesting art with the least amount of care thought or effort always gets so much more attention in school#nowhere else oddly. online? people like my more passionate but seemingly frivolous art (oc art etc. not frivolous to me but yknow how it is#same with irl artists and other industry people outside my school. whats going on in my school LOL#i know from experience i cant push myself into a supposedly marketable brand. if i try to make something sell it will not.#i dont know why. maybe theres an invisible essence buyers can tell when i didnt care jkfsldjdfrds#but my teachers LOOOOVE the stuff i put no passion in its so bizarre orz but i gotta relearn how to ignore half of their advice#i used to be better at it. but i also only used to ignore like a quarter of their advice. maybe i need to amp up how much im ignoring#that sounds mean. they have plenty of good advice. but also plenty of advice thats clouded by their own biases#and i gotta relearn how to sort out this stuff again. i forget every few months for some reason#you know i always think ouuhhhhh i act so neurotypical ouhhhhhhhhh im outgoing i talk to strangers all the time i seem confident#im so masked IM SO MASKED but then i go a couple weeks where every conversation i have has people looking at me like#i have two heads and neither of them are speaking their language. and then i descend into madness like this HJKLDSHJDS#i'll be fine i'll figure it out. i need to stop trying to get a good grade in being a 'cutting edge' conventional artist <3#i need to just. draw my cartoon characters in peace 😔😔😔
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am i dead? no. do i kinda wish i was? sure.
idk if its because of playing ffxiv(*), or because of adhd(***) or because of poor time management or because i live alone and have to do all the chores all the time all alone, but i do not understand what should i do ti have time for everything i want to do. i have so little obligations outside of 9hr work day but i just dont have time!!! for basic things!!!!!! and i hate this
#the problem is capitalism#sure ofc it always is#but i can rarely do more than 2 things a day#like groceries and drawing#or cooking and playing#or reading fic and reading smth else#and i hate that i have to decide every fking day what to do#i also hate planning these basic things it should be all vibes!!!#yeah i decided id cook today but the vibes ain't right so we are going to go listen to a podcast for 2 hrs in a park and apparently starve#re: ffxiv its not its fault it's just too comforting and relaxing so i opt for it instead of many things including diff games#sorry for the rant but also not sorry at all#this week is just awful already and i just need to get through it#and maybe go get diagnosed and medicated but not in this country 🙄#my stuff#delete later#and the coursge to leave my shitty office job and try something anything diff like retail or mushroom grower or dying#no-job-summer sounds so good but would it be worth it or is this some kind of spring psychosis speaking#we just dont know dot gif#it also feels incredibly irrelevant bc i have so many good things abd dont appreciate them when thousands of people literally die and suffer#and im just a little bad in the head 👍
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//uhHh gunna go on a small hiatus due to not having internet+other (ill expln in the tags c/tw vent/rambling)
#// i owe like 300+ for my internet ($200+ to reactivate) reason i havent been able to pay it was due to paying rent/bills/groceries/gas#and medication(for my partner) and weve applied to a better job but we need funds to pay for the livescan to continue/finalize the hiring#process but sadly we wont be able to pay rent this month due to some circum's sothats sm ;u;#and aside from all that both of us going thru heavy depression and mental fog#we want to hang out w irl friends but feel like we cant cuz were always broke (our friends still live w their parents/have a safety net) an#we feellike a buzz kill cuz we cant pay for our own meals or afford to go out in general just feeling left out causing us to be depressed#and not wanting to go out/be invited out#we had one friend lecture us abt money when its like dude you&gf pay $200 in rent to ur parents; we live together(w my retired/disabled MIL#and we pay rent household bills groceries gas car stuff medication we get paid bi weekly so like first/ending monthweek checks are for rent#and the mid week check we have to save accordingly for rent but were cured w the pharaohs curse cuz whenever#we have money that we plan to get alil smth for ourselves something goes wrong w the car#like we cant do shit and honestly it feels like someones praying on our downfall or smth cuz its every fkn time we cant catch a break#so yeaa gunna go on hiatus dunno how long tho but wont be too long but i will still be drawing so maybe expect some art dumps#ily guys thank you for putting up w me i dont ghost on purpose im just always depressed and need to be distracted or else the urges comebac#trying to be okay but its hard but i need to grow up#//i have my parents but theyre going to financial hardships too so they cant help and my sisters cant help cuz older sis started a family#amd my twin sis lives w my parents#my mom started working but hadda stop due to having a grapefruit sized tumor on her ovary (which is the other main reason4 my depression#and dad could care less abt my moms condtion (hes the reason for her suffering but ahe refuses to leave him#vent post#sorry went off on a tangent#but istg if i lose my mom im going to fkn hurt him cuz i already lost my dad (my FIL) and i will not be able to mentally recover#like i was there when we got the phone call (couldnt be at the hosptial due to covid reg.) i dont ever want to go thru that heartache again#edit if youd like to help me out i have comms open and i have a cshpp if ur feeling generous ;; $altereghost
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me?? juggling two hyperfixations and two special interests?? its more likely than you think
#trying to remind myself that i dont actually have to rewatch tfp for the 3rd time in 2 weeks because. i dont know#and then ultkl as the other hyperfix#and xiv & zelda are special interests#and im trying to navigate life. with 4 separate interests. drawing my attention#zelda is on hold bc im afraid of doing the final boss and i dont have anything else to do BUT#im helping my stepbrother almost daily. so its still part of it all#also having a mild dishonored resurgence but not on the same level as everything else i just. missed corvo#aaaand also tw3 bc of twn reminding me of how much i miss regis despite me not even watching the show#the only reason. i havent reinstalled borderlands 3. is because that game is sickeningly large#and i dont have the space for it on my laptop if i want to keep ffxiv & dh2#can you tell im going through it#something something back to simpler times when everything gets too much#god i need to get back to the witcher books. but id have to unpack for that. man#so much to do so little time#if dh2 ran at 60fps on ps5 i wouldve gotten it on ps5 so i can play it in my room instead of downstairs#which i shouldnt be allowed to complain about steady 30 because. ahaha. my laptop has frame drops!#it manages 60 generally (with most of the settings on low) but some areas drop to 40 & lower and. yeah#had the same with bl3#my dad said i can get his laptop in a couple of months which is a little stronger and by god i will be inserting extra storage#because holy fuck this isnt working
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fright night
kim minji x fem!reader
synopsis: in which your university’s halloween festival leads to you and minji beating around the bush — finally.
warnings: making out. like the best makeout scene i've written in a bit i think. ohmygdoajsdf ; minji is a loooooser but we all know this ; pining ; dumb gay women ; FLIRTING. they want each other SO BAD i was giggling writing this im ngl ; SO cute i loved writing this ohmygod ; anything else not mentioned ; not proofread
a/n: lately i’ve been going insane bc of minji like she’s just so gf… so… she’s so… i need her
kim minji is an idiot, she’s literally the dumbest person you know.
well, academically she’s actually a genius, but she’s clumsy and clueless nine times out of ten. unfortunately yet fortunately(?) for her, this is only more of the reason for you to be completely in love with her.
which is why your roommate is dealing with another one of your little attempts to deny your feelings again.
“i think i should just die.” you groan into yunjin’s bed. she watches you, your body lifeless after you roll over to face the ceiling. “everything was just normal.”
“‘just’ as in… a month ago…?” your roommate snickers, folding a t-shirt and placing it next to your torso. “i think you’re the only person i know who doesn’t enjoy being in love.”
yes: you’re in love with kim minji.
no: you do not enjoy being in love with her at all.
it’s not that she’s an asshole, it’s just the fact that everyone is also in love with her. she quite literally has a line of girls (and men, but none of them stand a chance) waiting for her. she’s kim minji, one of your mutual friends who happens to be the captain of the university’s soccer team—which is why the clumsy aspect of her is often overlooked. so to most, she’s just hot, but she’s more to you, much more.
and you? you’re just trying to get by. you’re not in the spotlight, you haven’t gotten hit on in months — you and minji are two worlds apart.
“this is a waste of time. she only sees me as a friend, she’s cute and athletic. compared to her the most astonishing thing i can do is make a t-shirt and wide-legged jeans to sell on depop.”
“you should make a t-shirt that says ‘kim minji i want you so bad please marry me—“
yunjin is cut off when her just-folded shirt is thrown right at her face. she groans and throws it right back at you.
“i hope you get the same fate as a side character in a horror film.” you groan, sitting up and glaring at her.
“aw, thanks.” she says dryly, rolling her eyes. “hey, speaking of horror… the halloween festival is soon. are you going?”
“i fear.” you sigh, shoulders sinking a bit.
your partner in crime outside of your dorm, danielle, had convinced you with a look filled with sparkly eyes and a sweet smile to help out with face painting. there would be a variety of people passing by and you were notoriously known for being able to draw really well despite being a fashion major. “art is art,” danielle had shrugged, and so she bribed you with some coffee to really commit to it.
“danielle got me to do the face painting stall.”
yunjin’s eyes widen as she sets down a sweater. “did she?”
“yeah. i’m the only one within the circle – other than hanni – who can draw more than a stick figure.”
“you’ve got that right.” yunjin snickers. “you think your wife will be there?”
“minji?” you tilt your head, to which yunjin responds with a raised brow. she got you there. “oh, um. maybe? why?”
“don’t act all unbothered now.” your roommate scoots you over so she can pick up a pile and stack them somewhere else. “if she’s also doing something for the event, i see it as an opportunity.”
“why would i willingly do that to myself? im going to look desperate.”
“minji is an idiot, we both know that. why would it matter? i think she’d be flattered to have you there. hasn’t she literally taken you home like… three times? girl, stop overthinking.” yunjin scoffs. “plus, you never look desperate. you’re a little too good at acting like you don’t care. don’t you think you’re driving her away? it’s like, you’re so normal and even distant in real life, i don’t want to say nonchalant because it’ll boost your ego, but unfortunately, that’s what you are.”
“you—“ yunjin raises both brows as you start to speak.
“she probably wants you too. i’ve noticed you guys talking more — don’t think i don’t notice you guys next to each other in between classes, even if it’s with your circle. kazuha asked if you were dating actually.”
“really?”
yunjin giggles, turning away from her closer and back at you. she stands right in front of you, towering over and looking into your eyes scarily.
“you want that girl so bad.”
“i can’t.”
“no, no. listen to me, you’re going to take this halloween thing as an advantage to make a move and also look hot. i don’t know how many more complaints about you being a bomosexual i can take.”
“i hate you.”
“okay then pay full rent.”
“i love you?”
yunjin laughs, picking up another pile of clothes and putting it away.
—
hanni is the one to text you out of nowhere the day after, something about “minji wanted you to eat with us, but heeseung is at the cafe.”
you squint at the message. you had just reached your class, and now you’re being invited over to grab a bite with the girl you want so bad while the guy who wants you so bad is in the same area. there is no way you should be saying yes, you can’t. one: you need to get over minji. she’s out of reach, a mere dream. two: heeseung will be checking you out the whole time and might throw in a compliment or two.
“i’ll be there in five.” you respond, sighing and pinching the bridge of your nose.
…
the café seems a little busy, but that’s not surprising considering it’s around lunchtime and the cafe is not too far from the university. the second you step in, your eyes find minji across the room. she’s mid-laugh with hanni, but the moment she spots you, her smile stretches wider, something bright and giddy in her gaze. it’s that soft, familiar look she gets sometimes—too open, too much—but you’re just as bad, trying not to look like you’re seconds away from smiling like an idiot as you walk up.
“hey, you,” she greets, her voice warm as she sidles closer, her shoulder bumping yours as you both look over the menu.
“hey loser,” you reply, nudging her back a little harder, a playful rhythm forming between you. she pushes back with a smile, and you retaliate, each shove barely more than an excuse to keep lingering in that small space between you two. she laughs, cheeks a little flushed, and you can’t help but feel like coming over was the better decision.
you order first, dismissing minji’s offer to pay for your lunch. she frowns but nonetheless lets you order first. you order a sundried tomato and mozzarella panini, stepping to the side after and glancing at minji, who’s still staring at the menu.
hanni and danielle have already ordered, so you wait near the counter for minji so the two of you can meet up with the rest together.
much to your dismay, heeseung’s voice breaks through your little bubble. he steps closer, leaning against the counter a little too casually. “so, do you always come here, or did you just need an excuse?” his smile is easy, maybe a little too practiced, and his gaze lingers as he looks you up and down, more intense than friendly.
you try not to visibly cringe, offering him a polite smile. “not really—just here with friends today,” you say, keeping your tone light but cool. but he doesn’t quite take the hint, his eyes not quite leaving yours. he definitely thinks there’s something in the air, something other than his cologne that is way too strong for your liking.
“you look cute.”
“oh um, thanks?” you purse you lips into a forced smile, watching him smirk confidently.
“what are your plans after this? got class?”
before you can think of another way to steer the conversation away, you feel an arm slip around your waist, pulling you close, and you look over to find minji at your side. her smile is wide and a little mischievous, and there’s a hint of something defiant in her gaze as she looks right past heeseung, keeping her hand snug on your hip.
“oh, y/n!” she says brightly, voice layered with just enough enthusiasm to sound like a joke but there’s an edge that makes it feel like more. “i remembered something so funny, it’s about yunjin. you know, during practice she got hit in the head.”
she doesn’t even look at heeseung as she tugs you back toward your group, keeping her arm around you a beat longer than necessary. heeseung’s face twists slightly, frustration crossing his features, but minji doesn’t give him a second glance. she launches into a conversation about her classes, her hand slipping away from your waist as she nudges you with her shoulder once more, an unmistakable grin still tugging at her lips.
you two get the chance to converse with danielle and hanni, who are more than happy to have you there. you can feel heeseung and his group eyeing you from a mile away, but that doesn’t matter because minji is in front of you and keeping eye contact the whole time you complain about him.
both your order and minji’s are called out at the same time and for a second, it’s just the two of you again as you both walk up to the counter. her voice and her closeness are enough to erase the last few awkward moments.
“you looked like you were having fun back there,” she murmurs, half-laughing, and you can tell by the gleam in her eyes that she noticed everything.
you laugh, trying to shrug it off. “couldn’t have done it without you,” you say, brushing her shoulder with yours. she looks down, almost bashfully, a hint of pink coloring her cheeks as she smiles—a smile that lingers long after heeseung fades into the background once again and you two rejoin the others.
…
before you make an excuse to leave, although it’s not really an excuse more than a complaint about your professor assigning a grueling reading, you hug everyone. when it’s you and minji, you two hold onto each other for a split second longer than social norms until she pulls away. minji smells like flowers and vanilla – you could drown in her scent.
“are you going to the halloween festival this weekend?”
“oh, yeah. danielle is forcing me to volunteer.”
“that’s funny,” minji chuckles, “because hanni is forcing me too.”
“is that so?”
“uh huh, pumpkin carving moderator or something.” she says, biting the inside of your lip. “we should um, do you wanna walk around after? maybe drop your shift early and i’ll do the same.”
you grin, pushing minji’s shoulder with two fingers playfully.
“couldn’t find any other girl lined up for you to hangout with?”
“what other girls?” minji asks, genuinely confused.
you’re being an idiot. yunjin would so punch you in the face right now, so you come to your senses.
“i– nevermind. i’ll see you around.”
minji waves. “bye.”
…
after you leave, minji settles into her seat beside hanni and danielle, trying to keep her expression neutral. she fails, the smile on her face noticeably smaller and her eyes a little more dim. her friends have known her too long; hanni catches on first, a knowing smirk spreading across her face.
“you look like a disappointed puppy,” hanni says, nudging minji with a grin.
“what? no,” minji replies, clearly flustered. “what are you saying bro.”
“you were practically glowing when y/n walked in,” hanni teases, leaning in. “and then suddenly turned into a sad little puddle when she left. you want her soooo bad.”
minji’s cheeks turn a soft shade of pink, and she tries to laugh it off, glancing at danielle as if for backup. but danielle’s watching her too, a gentle, encouraging look on her face.
“it’s okay, minji,” danielle says softly. “it’s… pretty obvious, you know? you like y/n a lot.”
minji rolls her eyes, looking away. “maybe i do. but it doesn’t matter. y/n’s just… she’s too… normal, you know? she’s always so unbothered, so unfazed by anything. she probably doesn’t even want me. i’m always chasing her.”
danielle shakes her head, a knowing smile touching her lips. “i wouldn’t be so sure, minji. just because y/n’s good at hiding her feelings doesn’t mean she doesn’t have them.” she places a reassuring hand on minji’s arm. “trust me, i think there’s more there than you realize.”
minji lets out a small sigh, her gaze dropping to her hands. “it’s just… sometimes it feels like i’m the only one who’s feeling this way, you know? like i’m the only one getting flustered or waiting for her to look at me like… like i don’t know, she see’s me as a good friend.”
hanni wraps an arm around her, squeezing her shoulder. “please. y/n’s about as subtle as you when you’re around. i don’t know how you don’t see it.”
danielle laughs softly, nodding. “give it time, minji. y/n might just need a little nudge, and besides…” she pauses, glancing around conspiratorially before leaning in. “if y/n didn’t feel something, you wouldn’t have caught her staring at you like that when she thought no one was watching. plus, the whole nudging your shoulders the whole time. you two are like fucking thirteen year olds in love, it’s kind of gross.”
minji looks up, hope flickering in her eyes as a faint, shy smile tugs at her lips. maybe, just maybe, she wasn’t imagining it.
—
“im literally going to kill myself.” is the first thing yunjin hears when you get home, followed by you dropping your bag and crashing against her on your couch.
“girl what happened?”
“kim fucking minji. she’s insane, she wants me to die, i can’t do this, i resign from being a lesbian can i please resign.”
“well!” yunjin laughs, pulling you in. you lean on her shoulder and cover your face with your hands. “do you want to tell me what happened?”
through your hands, your voice is muffled as you explain, “basically hanni invited me to grab lunch with her and dani and minji. she looked so cute and like, we kept bumping shoulders and she kept smiling when she did it and then i ordered and—”
“you’re rambling–”
“and then i waited for my order while she ordered and heeseung started flirting with me,”
“ew, heeseung?”
“the bane of my existence— yes. i told him i was a lesbian at least three times! oh my god, anyway that doesn’t even matter, i don’t even care because—yunjin. huh yunjin.”
yunjin blinks at you as you stand up, pacing back and forth on the carpet now. she can’t help but laugh at you when you stop in front of her and groan, “jennifer huh.”
“wow, this must be serious.”
“minji fucking grabbed me by the waist like some wattpad story and then kinda shooed heeseung away and yunjin her hands are so nice and they were on my waist and i want her so bad. yeah. i’m gonna just die.”
yunjin pulls you by the wrist so you’re back next to her. she looks at you with a raised brow, waiting for you to recover from your high (if that counts as a high, but maybe you’re just insane).
“she wants you.”
“she’s playing with me.”
“you’re insane. you know hanni asked if me if you like minji earlier, right? talking about how minji looked so devastated after you left.”
“what?”
“oh my god. you know what, i’m done with you. you’re such an idiot that it’s pissing me off.”
you whine, pulling yunjin by her forearm and pulling her back, which earns a scoff. yunjin looks at your little pout and puppy eyes, but doesn’t give in. instead, she pushes you off, leaving you to deal with the events of the day on your own.
before she disappears into her room, she sighs, “you’re gay and useless.”
you sink into the couch a little more. “thanks.”
—
the weekend comes by all too fast. even with your time consuming assignments, it feels like you’ve blinked and now you have to deal with the whole festival.
you’re in a snug white cropped baby tee that shows a decent amount of your abdomen, your hair is styled just a bit, and the makeup on your face is a little more glittery and highlighted than usual. on your back there’s angel wings that complete the look.
(“she’s going to want you so bad, trust me.” yunjin assures as she does your eye makeup.
it’s nothing much, just some darker warm tones with a faint hint of purple and highlighter to make you really look like an angel.
“and…” yunjin adds a bit of highlighter to your cheekbones. she pulls away and gazes at her work, bringing her pointer to her lips and biting on it jokingly. “heyyy gorgeous.”
“shut up.”
“minji’s going to want you so bad.”
“shut. up.”)
yunjin drives the two of you to the festival, she also looks really good. while you’re an angel, she’s a devil, showing off her toned body from soccer so she can pick up some girls that night.
(“you’re such a hoe.” you groan, doing her makeup to make her eyes smoky and lips plump.
she rolls her eyes while putting on her little horns in her hair, checking herself out in the mirror.
“how do i look?”
“like a hoe.” you assure firmly, earning a shove. then, you slide a finger down her collarbone teasingly, winking at her. “a really hot one.”
your roommate chuckles. “save that for minji, y/n.”
“i hate you.”)
the halloween festival is lively, lights flickering under dark skies, and you slip through the crowd in your angel costume with yunjin. you’re not even sure if anyone’s noticed your costume details, but the reactions make it clear you look… well, good. or maybe that’s just yunjin who’s doing the attracting, but a man winks directly at you and you have to force back a look of disgust.
as you make your way to the face-painting stall, you catch sight of minji leaning against a booth, dressed as patrick bateman. she’s really hot, that’s for sure, and it’s nothing new. the loose, slightly unbuttoned dress shirt shows her collarbone, and you can’t help but think about how your lips would feel on them. the loosened tie around her neck makes her look really good; you feel like she’s pulling you in without trying. despite the purposeful tousled look, she looks effortlessly put-together, but the smudge of fake blood on her cheek adds a wild edge (and makes her look even hotter).
her eyes land on you, and her expression shifts just slightly before she pushes off the booth, walking over with a slight smirk.
“wow,” she says, looking you up and down in a way that feels way too intense. “you’re really… pulling off that angel look. you look really good, y/n.”
you giggle, trying to play it cool. “you look pretty good yourself,” you reply, letting your gaze drift over her from the blood on her cheek to the undone buttons of her shirt. “i didn’t know patrick bateman could look this… hot.”
a faint flush creeps onto her cheeks, and she lets out a quiet laugh, rubbing the back of her neck. “yeah, well, didn’t know ‘angelic’ could look so irresistible,” she teases, but her voice softens as her eyes linger on you.
for a beat, the two of you just stand there, the energy between you charged. you’re painfully aware of the way she’s looking at you—like she’s holding back from saying or doing something, thouh—and you can’t stop yourself from mirroring that, a hint of want in your gaze. she clears her throat, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.
“well, i better get to moderating— i don’t want people accidentally slicing themselves instead of a pumpkin.” she murmurs, finally breaking eye contact but not before giving you one last once-over, her eyes lingering a moment longer than necessary. she brings her hand to your hair, using a finger to push away some of the strands framing your face. you gulp a bit, then again after she brushes her knuckles against your cheek. “i like this. the makeup.”
i like you. you fight back the confession.
“thanks.” you swallow, nodding. “well, i should,” you start, playing with her tie out of a burst of confidence. you tug on it just a little, catching her by surprise. her breath hitches just barely. “--get going. i’ll see you.” you say, dropping the piece of fabric in your hand.
as you head toward your booth, the thrill from your brief encounter with minji lingers, leaving you more than a little distracted and hoping she feels it too.
…
you’ve painted more faces than you can count on one hand in only an hour, much to your surprise. if you were to do this full time you’d for sure develop arthritis the second week on the job.
after your tenth person — some kid who just wanted two flowers on her cheeks — danielle taps your shoulder. you turn around, humming in response.
“you look beat,” she says.
your shoulders are drooping, your posture is much worse than when you started, and you’re moving your wrist in a every angle to stretch it out and relieve the soreness.
“you think?”
“hanni says she’ll be over in a bit.” danielle assures, patting you on the back and massaging your back lightly. “the stall will close soon so we can all hangout after.”
“thank god. are the other activities closed?”
“not until before midnight – i think.” you sigh in relief, but danielle adds, “could you grab some stuff from the supply closet though? maybe some more white, blue, and red paint? maybe grab yellow and green too.”
she gives you those eyes again, earning a chuckle. “yeah, yeah. okay.”
“great! just go down and turn right, there’s a brown shed — it’s not creepy, i swear. it’s kind of modern actually.”
“something tells me you’re lying.”
“me? lying?”
you roll your eyes and stand up, then you trudge on over down the gravel. you roll your shoulders back and massage your neck a bit, then fix your costume a bit. it’s funny; you’re at a whole festival and this is the only time you’re exposed to the groups of people, bright lights, and excitement all around — at least for longer than a minute.
turning the corner you reach a shed, one that matches danielle’s description.
danielle isn’t a liar, she never lies — well, she never lies about anything serious. it’s quite modern inside, seemingly new due to the fresh paint smell. it’s lined with wooden shelves, each holding different items. the corners are filled with various decorations, ranging from not only halloween decor but also christmas and even valentines day themed trinkets. you laugh at the little cupid poster in the back, but recollect yourself and focus on the “task” at hand.
you have to rummage through the costumes in the corner to find a small box with face paint in it. the light in the shed isn’t on (there isn’t a switch, only some rustic-type light hanging from above in the middle of the building), so you use your flashlight to help you see clearer.
it takes a bit more time to find the yellow bottle of paint, which is in your hand until you drop it from the sound of the door opening so suddenly.
you jump, gasping ever so lightly before turning around to see a very striking patrick bateman.
minji stands in the doorway, still looking as good as before, looking at you with a perplexed expression.
“what are you doing here?” she asks, looking around the area.
“minji,” you close your eyes, “you scared the shit out of me!”
“i’m sorry…” she says, jutting out her bottom lip and suddenly every ounce of fear is drained from your body. “i didn’t know you were in here.”
“danielle sent me to get more paint.”
“that's funny,” minji steps towards you, looking at the two paint bottles on the floor. “hanni sent me to grab trash bags.”
you don’t respond for a second because minji steps under the antique light above her. it illuminates her face in the best way possible, highlighting the smeared on fake blood and her features. you feel your throat tightening as you stare.
minji’s gaze softens, she steps closer.
“do you know where i could find trash—”
“yes, um, yeah, probably in the corner.” you choke out.
she chuckles, you swallow lightly.
you take the stretch of silence to pick up the two bottles that had dropped out your hand and turn the flash on your phone off. you fix your tank top because minji is still within radius, but she’s busy looking for the trash bags, still.
“i’ll see you later?” you say softly. minji’s head whips around, and there’s a slight frown on her face. before she can respond, you hear a click coming from the door, then stare at the handle with furrowed brows. you reach over to twist the knob, but it barely budges. “what the hell?”
“what?”
“i think it’s locked. did you lock it?”
she shakes her head, her brow furrowing as she steps over, nudging you aside to try the handle herself. she pulls, twisting the knob a little harder than you did, but the door still doesn’t move an inch.
“it’s locked.” she mutters, glancing at you with a hint of worry. “i think we’re stuck.”
you both stare at each other for a beat, the realization sinking in, and suddenly the small shed feels much smaller. you look away first, sighing before turning on your phone.
“i’ll call danielle.” you say, voice steady, though there’s a slight tremor as you dial.
“i’ll try hanni.”
you both dial. danielle doesn’t answer and you huff. you wait for minji, her phone against her ear, and the defeated groan is enough to tell you whether hanni answered or not.
“i guess they’re busy.” minji says, slipping her phone back into her pocket.
for a moment, silence stretches between you both again, an awkward tension settling in. minji shifts, making a weird noise as she brushes dust off her shirt. you can’t help but find it cute. then she adjusts her loose collar, making you clear your throat and glancing around for any other possible way out; there’s none.
the only thing you catch is a window, a window that’s far too small and high for anything to happen.
“we’re stuck.” you mutter, looking back at minji.
“do you think dani and hanni will realize we’re missing?”
“they might be busy…” you pinch the bridge of your nose, resting your head against the door. “i have no idea how we’ll get out.”
you’re stuck with minji. kim minji. the hottest and cutest girl you’ve ever laid eyes on. the girl you think of way too much for it to be platonic. the girl who’s in a costume that genuinely has you considering ruining a friendship. the girl who’s leaning back against the shelf behind her right now, crossing her arms, and who’s eyes are flickering over you as she smiles.
“your costume is really something.” her voice is casual, like you’re not stuck in a shed. there’s also a warmth in her tone that isn’t hidden in the slightest. “i like it a lot. you look heavenly.”
if minji’s trying to ease the tension, she’s doing it very well. her stupid dad joke earns a laugh from you, and now you’re leaning against the door with one side of your body as you keep eye contact.
“thank you minji, your looks could really kill.”
she laughs, gums showing and eyes crinkling. you want her so bad.
“that one was worse than mine.”
“no it wasn’t!”
she rolls her eyes. “it was.” she steps closer leaning her head against the same door and staring hard at every single feature of your face. she glances at your lips briefly, then back up. “bet you’ve turned more than a few heads tonight.”
“maybe,” you feel your voice growing quieter. “but i was stuck at the booth.”
“if i were at the booth i think i’d purposely stay just to see you. you look really pretty tonight y/n, i mean it.”
you blush. “maybe.” there’s a grin that you can’t keep off your face. “i’d say the same for you.”
she chuckles again, looking down at her slightly blood-stained dress shirt. “yeah, i think i took the pumpkin carving part a bit too seriously. got more guts on me than on the pumpkins.” she holds up her hands, still faintly stained with an orange hue, and shakes her head. “i’ll probably smell like pumpkins for a week.”
minji watches you turn to the side, covering your mouth to stifle a giggle.
turning back, you’re mid-laugh when your eyes catch on a smudge of blood across minji’s cheek, just barely out of place. your hand moves without thinking, reaching up to brush it away with your thumb. the laughter fades, the shed shrinking around you, and everything slows, the only movement her skin warming under your touch.
minji’s gaze locks onto yours, intense and unblinking, and there’s something behind it that makes your heart skip. her eyes are barely liddied now, she swallows, biting down on the inside of her lip, before a slow, uncertain smile begins to take over her face.
“you look so good right now,” she murmurs, her voice low, almost rough. her hand reaches up, covering yours, holding it there against her cheek, like she’s trying to commit the moment to memory, almost like it’ll end anytime – soon, or now.
you’re close enough to feel her breath, the slight catch in it. “good enough for you?” you ask softly, a smile playing at your lips, your words teasing, but your heart racing.
she chuckles, but it’s quiet, and her gaze doesn’t waver. “better than good,” she whispers, her hand falling from yours, trailing down to your waist, her fingers grazing the bare skin there, gentle, hesitant, like she’s testing the feel of you, seeing if you’ll pull away, but you don’t. minji smirks. “are you… seeing anyone?”
the question hangs between you, heavy and thrilling. you shake your head, your pulse pounding beneath her touch. “no one at all.”
she exhales, her voice barely above a whisper. “good.” her fingers press into your waist just a little more, her gaze flickering down to your lips, and you watch, almost dizzy, as she wets her own, her tongue darting out, just barely, the movement so subtle you’d miss it if you weren’t so close.
your hand moves from her cheek, trailing slowly down to the open collar of her shirt, brushing along her collarbone. her breath hitches, and her head tilts slightly, just enough for your fingers to press against her skin, her eyes closing for the briefest moment before she meets your gaze again. you don’t realize how close you’ve drawn until you feel her breath warm against your lips.
she glances at your lips for what seems the tenth time. you two are clearly vibrating on the same wave length, it’s evident.
then, with the faintest, almost imperceptible smile, minji closes the space between you, her mouth soft, warm, pressing into yours, a little unsure, like she’s savoring every second of it. her hand at your waist tightens, pulling you closer, her fingertips grazing the curve of your hip as she leans in, her other hand moving to cradle the side of your face, her thumb grazing your cheek. the world around you slips away, and all that’s left is her—the warmth of her lips, the feeling of her touch, and the overwhelming sense that every daydream you had is getting outdone by this moment. this real moment.
it’s so real when she pulls away with rosy cheeks. she looks at you nervously, as if she didn’t just take the oxygen from your lungs.
“was that alright?” she asks, sounding unsure. it’s cute, she’s cute, god she’s so cute.
“perfect.” you mumble.
your hand moves to where her tie is, it’s loose around her collar, making it easier for you to tug her right back into you. she gasps from surprise and groans into your lips, kissing you hard.
her fingers press into your skin and you shiver, parting your lips ever so slightly to sigh softly. minji smirks against your skin, trailing to your jawline with light pecks as you release your grip on her tie and snake your hand around her neck.
“i’ve–” a kiss to the side of your throat, “wanted to—” a kiss lower, “do this for—” and a soft kiss to the base of your neck, “so long.”
your breath shakes after she finishes the sentence, she kisses your neck once more.
minji parts, moving you over so you’re is against some random, heavy box on the side of the shed and now both arms are around your neck. you’re a few more kisses in, mixed with content sighs and groans and handfuls of hair before you two almost bite each other’s lips off from the sound of the door opening.
you barely have time to pull away, minji’s lips are still a breath from yours, her hand lingering at your waist. you both turn to see danielle, hanni, and yunjin standing in the doorway, eyes wide. you and minji spring apart, the movement so fast that it would be funny if you were witnessing the situation.
danielle’s shock morphs into a grin as she exchanges a look with hanni, and yunjin just has a hand over her mouth.
hanni’s mouth drops open before breaking into a smirk, her eyes flickering with pure satisfaction.
“oh my god.” hanni breathes, relief in her voice. “it actually worked.”
before you or minji can respond, utterly confused considering they all look relieved rather than disgusted, yunjin takes one look at you and minji and bursts out laughing,
“i knew it! i knew you two would finally do something if we left you alone long enough.”
minji blinks, looking as if she’s still processing. you glance between them, your cheeks warm. “what?” you say exasperatedly, “what do you mean ‘finally’? what— what is all this?”
The three of them exchange looks before danielle nudges yunjin forward, her grin growing. “so uh, we might’ve had a little something to do with the door locking. maybe on purpose. maybe. perchance.”
“definitely on purpose.” hanni adds, crossing her arms. “we were all tired of watching you guys dance around your feelings. you two needed a push.”
minji stares at them with a mix of embarrassment and dawning realizaiton. then she glances at you, her face flushing before turning back to the trio.
“you all planned this?”
hanni nods, looking like she’s enjoying this way too much. “you guys are hopeless. you know? everyone could see that you two wanted each other except you two. who the hell nudges their friends like that? you both are like middle schoolers with their first crush.”
you exchange yet another glance with minji, who’s biting her lip. there’s a surprise mirroring on her face, and honestly it’s really cute. adorably cute.
despite all the embarrassment, you can’t help but laugh, a little breathless.
“so… this was all a setup?” minji says, looking at them with a half-laugh, half-disbelieving shake of her head.
danielle shrugs, stepping aside to give you both room to leave the shed. “well, it worked, didn’t it?”
yunjin’s grin is teasing as she waves you both out, her eyes bright with excitement. “yeah, finally,” she echoes, a satisfied smirk on her face. you glance at minji, who’s still looking at you, and a shy, almost playful smile tugs at her lips.
and as you both step out of the shed, shoulder to shoulder, the knowing smiles of your friends after they glance behind, there’s a giddiness accompanying the space between you and minji.
they all explain something about your booths being over because you two were too busy making out — you barely listen — and minji nudges your shoulder again when they’re far enough to not hear her.
you turn, tilting your head a bit before she leans down a bit to mumble, “you know, i heard that if you don’t kiss me again, for at least an hour, bloody mary might show up in your room tonight.”
a laugh escapes your lips and you push minji, who’s grinning at you like an idiot. you roll your eyes and reach out to hold her hand, she squeezes yours excitedly.
“that’s a new one. are you sure it’s true?”
minji quickly cups your cheek and steals a kiss, parting away to make sure your friends don’t turn around and tease you two relentlessly.
“that one just got rid of all the bad energy from before.”
“what bad energy?”
“the one that’s building up every second you don’t kiss me. it also builds up if you don’t go out with me for lunch tomorrow. or ever.”
you roll your eyes once more, then glance at your friends before kissing minji’s cheek.
“i can’t risk any of that, can i?”
#kpop x reader#newjeans x reader#newjeans fluff#newjeans minji#kim minji#minji#minji x reader#kim minji x reader
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before i go to bed - can i confess something?
learning how to do art skills as an adult i didnt have the space for as a kid is terrifying. im not of the mindset that, when i see artists more talented than me who are much younger than me that i get upset. its the opposite really - i feel breathtaken watching everyone whos already got a foot in the race i feel like i was just able to tie my shoes for and start running. im happy for them, and im happy for me too - i WANT to do this, but i feel so embaressed for wanting it at the same time.
i dont think my art is even bad. i dont really think 'bad' art exists to begin with; objectively i can measure my skill and see improvement from where i began. i guess its more like i feel that my art should be more impressive for my age... or that i should have more to show for it. but if i say that, then what if someone older than me, or someone who feels behind me, hears me say that? i dont feel this way about anyone else but myself, but negative self talk can still seep out and effect others around you.
i think im coming to accept that being scared is a state i need to get used to and accept as a sign im moving forward. never trying anything hard IS 'safe', but 'safe' and happy arent always the same thing. some times you need to not be 'safe' to move towards being happy. sometimes you wont be either, just on the road between the two.
i am really proud of myself, and i think im moving forward to thinking a little better of myself too. and the truth is i am happy, because as long as i can keep drawing and sharing that with everyone thats all i really want. maybe i dont need to be impressive as long as im always getting better, maybe i dont need to be super talented as long as im always doing my best and remembering to smile.... i dont think thats a life to be ashamed of at all
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hiyaa <333 just wanted to drop a Logan request here.. (pref from the ver of the x-men, 2000?) because it's always like sunshine reader this and grumpy/mean logan that (i luv them btw) but what about cool!reader. what about the reader that can and will not put the cocky shit he is on his place but keep him there??? what about the reader that tames him down, the reader that casually grabs the back of his shirt to keep him from launching himself at Scott with a deadpan face, the one that lets him bite??? the one that will literally outmatch his agressive and violent energy????? the one that grabs his wrist when his claws go out and quirks an eyebrow at him like 'really?'???? like pls we do seriously need a bit of a level-head/intermediator!reader with Logan (can be smut if u feel like it?) 🙏🙇 fem if possible <33
IM KICKING MY FEET SO HARD RN OMG, I also love grumpy Logan x sunshine reader but being w someone that matches his energy? Oh my god, that’s my shit
NSFW/18+ // This isn’t like a full oneshot ig but if you do want that with plot and stuff lmk!)
- Within the first few months of meeting each other, everyone would definitely tease Logan (and you) about how you’re like the female version of him. You don’t put up with anyone’s shit, including his. He learned that the hard way, nearly being knocked on his ass when you yanked the back of his jacket to prevent him from ripping Scott to shreds because of some stupid comment. That wasn’t a one time occurrence, either. You were the only one bold enough to actually try to put him in his place when the claws came out, going as far as to use both hands to hold his wrist in place while you glared up at him.
“Chill the fuck out, would you?”
And the first time you had the balls to actually do that, everyone else stood back in mild fear, anticipating some kind of fight between the two of you. Instead, he rolled his eyes and retracted his claws. It was an unusual influence you had over him, something about you that made him feel hypnotized.
- He’ll never admit it to another soul, but he definitely likes that you’re dominant over him at times when you have to cool him down. Grabbing his arm, pushing him back - lightly tugging at his hair if you really couldn’t get his attention. He likes when you put him in his place, get a little rough with him or talk in an angry tone.
- And because I’m a sucker for friends to lovers, I think he’d be so head over heels for you because of that. He’d try his best to be stone faced when you were stern with him, but he’d be gnawing on his bottom lip to the point of drawing blood.
- Same thing with training: If you actually manage to wrestle him down to the mat, he knows he can push you off if he really wants to, but he never does - he gets way too engrossed in staring up at you while you straddle his lap and hold his arms down.
- Though Logan wasn’t always levelheaded, he could return the favor of holding you back when you got too aggressive, wrapping his arms around the middle of your waist and pulling you back - sometimes even having to lift you off the ground and sling you over his shoulder. Truthfully, he’d let you tear someone apart if it were up to him - the assholes usually deserve it - but he knew it would be frowned upon to not stop you.
- I think when you somehow do admit your feelings - maybe you get pissed when he puts himself in danger and just tell him you love him or he does the same when he starts to become a little too jealous of anyone else hanging around near you - he’d always have his hands on you in some way. Maybe the small of your back, your hands, your wrist - anything. And the jealousy thing? Oh, forget it, he won’t even let another guy stand too close to you. He’s not toxic (maybe if you wanted him to be🫣) but very protective, he’ll let another guy talk to you if he’s gotta but his hand is in your back pocket the entire time while he stares the dude down.
- Angry sex is a regular occurrence. Are you really mad at each other? Not even close, but it doesn’t take much more than a few choice words exchanged in the hall for Logan to be dragging you into the nearest room with a lock, holding you up against the wall and drilling into you till he has to hold a hand over your mouth to keep you quiet. There were definitely a handful of times you’d almost been caught, trying to babble out an excuse about being busy to whoever was behind the door while your leg was hiked over Logan’s shoulder, messily eating you out with your skirt bunched up at your waist.
- Overall I think you’d make a good pair, keeping each other in balance when one of you gets a little feral (though, let’s be honest, it’s definitely usually you having to hold him back).
Like I said if you want more of that concept or like something w plot pls lmk!! Absolutely love the idea 🫶🏻
#wolverine#logan howlett#wolverine x reader#logan howlett x reader#wolverine fanfiction#wolverine fic#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett fic#logan howlet smut#logan howlett smut#logan wolverine#wolverine smut#oneshot#smut
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established relationship | sylus x (assumed)fem!reader | phone sex | mutual masturbating | porn with some plot |
your boyfriend being the leader of onychinus was hard enough as is, only able to meet in the night. but, it was worse when you’d go weeks without seeing each other due to full schedules or trips.
sylus said he’d be able to see you around the end of this week - something he told you last week as well. now, you’re sat on your bed, phone pressed to your ear but it does nothing to conceal your frown from him.
“i know, sweetie. i thought i’d be back yesterday.. this trip is taking longer than expected.” he sighs into the microphone, the exhaustion laced deeply in his voice but he insists on calling you the nights he can’t come see you.
your end of the line stays quiet. truly, you have nothing to say about the matter; all you could do is cry but your tears would be useless since they won’t make him appear before you. so, you sit quietly in your disappointment with your phone pressed to your ear.
“sweetheart, let me see you.” his voice comes out soft, like a plea. like, seeing your sad face illuminated against his phone screen will ease the dull, ache deep in his heart. you comply, also hoping that seeing him will make it feel better.
“there you are kitten.” a small smile creeps onto your lips, your thighs press together and your head turns away from the screen so he can’t see the effect he has on you. “hi sylus.” you keep your words short and tone sharp, leaving no room for him to worm his way in and melt your front. you are happy to see him, in all his exhaustion. he looks unreasonably handsome this way, in your opinion.
“you look nice. i’m sure you’re having a blast wherever you are.” despite your harsh accusation, the compliment draws a light chuckle from sylus. a handful of butterflies wake in your tummy and flutter around at the sound. “im miserable here, so far from you. you must miss me more than i expected if these are your words, hmm?” all you do is look into the camera and nod your head pitifully, hoping for the best.
he coos at the sight, a little too consiscending for you liking. “sylus, why can’t you quickly leave and see me then go back? even an hour will be okay.” you try pleading, the whine in your voice doesn’t go unnoticed by your man and he makes sure you know he heard it by chuckling.
“you know that’s impossible sweetie. we use have to be patient, then we’ll be together again and i’ll give you just what you’re asking for.” you blink at the screen then put on your best i-have-no-idea-what-you’re-talking-about face. “i haven’t asked for anything but to see you the time you said you’d be back.” he nods and hums at your words, as if hes agreeing with what you’re saying, “that, and something else you aren’t saying explicitly. maybe, it has something to do with the calendar.”
you know exactly which calendar he’s referring to but you still turn your head to look the giant yearly calendar up on your wall then back at him. “the calendar?”
there’s something so endearing and unexplainably sexy about your attempts at being clueless to sylus. this week you’re ovulating, you know it and sylus knows it too. it pains sylus in a way he cannot express that he can’t be there for you, in the way the natural instincts in your body need him to be.
“isn’t it hot there in linkon? i suggest you get comfortable, sweetie. no need to be so clothed in my presence.” continuing your little game of feigned innocence, you nod at sylus’ suggestion and undress out your pyjamas. using your pillows as a pillar for your phone to rest against so sylus can see all of you.
a wicked grin sits on his lips as he takes in all of you, he pull his robe open at the sight of you then frees himself from the constraints of his boxers the he lowers the camera so you can see his growing cock. your clit swells ever so slightly and twitches at the sight. “come closer, sweetheart. i need to see you better.”
you move your hips closer to the screen, parting your thighs more for his viewing pleasure. a low groan rumbles from his throat, his hand slowly moves up and down at the sight. “won’t you touch yourself for me?” as if you’re his robot, your fingers find your clit and your two middle fingers press against it and move it around in small circles; a soft sigh escapes at the feeling.
sylus’ deep crimson eyes would burn through the screen if they could with the sheer intensity he’s watching your fingers move on your sensitive bud. “put them in, kitten.. i know you can.” his words fall out his lips before he can think about them and carefully choose them. your walls clench around nothing at his sudden command, but you obey and slide your fingers into your slippery hole one at a time then you curl them up the way sylus usual does and you press against the soft spot embedded in your walls, earning a slight quiver in your thighs before you start to slowly pump your fingers in and out.
sylus brings his phone closer to his face, so he has a better view, in turn his hand starts to move faster. sylus can’t find anything to say other than encouragement to validate you into continuing. soon the call is only sylus’, “that’s it kitten..”, “you’re doing such a good job.”, “you sound so beautiful.”, “i can’t believe you’re all mine.”
“‘m gonna cum sy..” your voice comes out barely above a whisper but your microphone luckily catches it, and so do sylus’ ears, in response he groans lowly and asks— no demands that you cum for him. happily, you oblige. your fingers work at all your sensitive spots to pull the orgasm out of you in a way that fails to replicate the way it feels when sylus does it.
your back lifts off the bed a little as your body shudders and quivers through your orgasm. your boyfriend watches with his jaw dropped and a groan of your name is all the warning he gets before hot cum spurts out his tip and lands on his stomach and rib cage.
your fingers slowly leave your creamy hole and you slowly lower your legs, your eyes closed and sylus’ hand let’s go and his head falls back as he attempts to catch his breath. “i’ll come see you as soon as possible, sweetheart. i’ll make sure of it.”
———
happy new year!! let’s have a good 2025 guys! one of my resolutions is to write more, let’s hope it comes to be!!!! woo! yay!
this fic is inspired by the tweet above, the idea got me out my writing slump let’s all clap our hands and jump for joy!!
(i forgot how to write smut 😝👍)
#sylus x you#sylus x mc#sylus qin#lnds sylus#love and deepspace sylus#sylus smut#sylus x reader#lads sylus#sylus
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hot tub with sim jaeyun. 18+
(that new vlog where he's swimming around in that sleeveless top had me thinking thoughts.)
imagine riding jake super late at night in one of those fancy ass five star hotel hot tubs when no one else is around. you literally saw a tumbleweed pass by from how empty it is yet the thought of inevitably getting caught turned you both on so much it ached. it'd start by him slowly drawing shapes on your upper thighs, pulling your waist closer to him as you both sat side by side. he'd lean over to kiss you gently, but deep down a part of you hoped it would turn into something more... n luckily for you, he was feeling the exact same. it didn't take long for him to shove his warm tongue against yours and moan into your mouth. he'd usher your body over his own and you'd immediately start grinding on him. the friction of your crotches surrounded by the hot water felt so good it was addicting. you'd both be humping each other so desperately while making out. you'd be grabbing n pulling his hair n he'd try so hard not to moan too loud but he was twitching in his shorts already. "fuck, i need you" he'd whisper into your ear which would make you quiver. it's not like you two haven't had sex or made out in places you probably shouldn't have (like the practice room, managers cars, the dorm bathroom, etc) but this was different. all those other places have locks and some sort of semblance of privacy, and this pool... well.. any person could walk in at ANY time. you both did not even care. or more so, COULD not even care when you quite literally need to feel him inside of you so badly. "please jake, fuck me" you'd whimper, n he wouldn't be able to hold it back any longer. he'd quickly move your underwear to the side n you'd help him release himself from his own swim shorts. it would only take a split second for you to line him up to your entrance so you could slowly sink down onto his length, making you both gasp. he'd throw his head back n furrow his brows as you began to immediately quicken your pace, riding out the pleasure as much as you could. trying so hard to make the ache go away. "ahh you feel so warm my love,, you feel so fucking good," he'd babble on while kissing your neck and down your chest. you'd feel yourself unwinding fast, and you'd start to let out even louder moans to which he'd without hesitation bring his shirt up and shove it into your mouth "shhh, i know my love.." you'd bite onto the fabric as you rode out your high. you were both so close that it didn't take long for you to tighten around him and lose control. his shirt would fall out of your lips the second you came, and you'd let out a high pitched shriek as you felt the pleasure touch every inch of your body. he wouldn't even have the chance to relish in it since he came undone not even 2 seconds later, finishing in you as he rutted his hips into you desperately you'd both be sweating, sticky, and obviously wet, but you did not even care. he'd wrap his arms around you and you'd rest your face on his warm chest. you'd sit there for a bit, breathing each other in. so sleepy n warm. "i love you" "i love you too." "im gonna fall asleep" "NO"
#enhypen hard thoughts#enhypen hard hours#enhypen smut#enhypen#sunghoon smut#heeseung smut#enha smut#jake smut#jake imagines#enhypen reaction#sunghoon
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𝚄𝚗𝚋𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚄𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝙼𝚢 𝚂𝚔𝚒𝚗. (3)
mom's fiancé! joel miller x f! reader part one • part two
Summary: Your mom's new fiancé, Joel Miller, is the kind of man you could never shake out of your mind—rugged, rough, and embodiment of your long-buried fantasies. He's been your next-door neighbor for years, and the crush you harbored through your teenage years never really faded. Now, he's with your mom, and they're planning to get married. You should want her to be happy, but you can't ignore the tension growing between you and Joel. It's something that was never meant to happen. But as you uncover Joel's true motives for being with your mom, you realize maybe your feelings weren't one-sided after all. And maybe, despite everything, you’re the one he really wants.
tags: stepcest kind of, age gap (reader is in her mid 20s and joel in his mid 40s), forbidden romance, emotional conflict, slow burn, sexual tension, complicated family dynamics, heartbreak, Joel being an emotionally complicated bastard, ANGST, cheating, infidelity, betrayal
/ᐠ - ˕ -マ authors note 𑁯 ✿ im baaack !! this has 4.06k words, so it's pretty short. It's pretty much a setup for the last two parts. yes, just two more parts. im sorry, but as much as i love this, it needs to end :( not proofread so try and ignore any typos. also most of the parts where the past story is told its the readers inner thoughts so YES she is trying to demonize her mom to make her feel better about sleeping w joel :') Enjoy!
It had been two months since it all started—two months since you and Joel had fallen into this secret rhythm, stealing moments when your mother wasn’t looking, navigating your forbidden connection with practiced care. In the quiet, when it was just the two of you, it felt almost normal. Almost as if you were like any other couple. You were his, and he was yours—officially, if only in the shadows. But the shadows were where you lived now.
Tonight, it was just you and Joel again, the house quiet, tension building, like it always does when its just the two of you, without having spent a night together for some time. Your mom had gone out with her friends, drinking and catching up over dinner, while you waited at home, your pulse quickening the second you heard the sound of Joel’s footsteps as he came back from work. The door clicked softly as he came inside, the familiar creak of the floorboards beneath his boots sending a thrill up your spine. You didn’t need to say anything. You both knew what came next.
“Missed you, baby. my pretty girl...” Joel muttered low, his voice rougher in the quiet of the house. His fingers found your waist, pulling you close until you could feel the warmth of his breath against your skin. Two months of this, and yet every touch still made your heart race, still left you aching for more. like the first time. “I missed you too,” you whispered back, wrapping your arms around his neck, sinking into the kiss that followed, as if nothing else existed outside of this room. You’d grown used to this dance—the quick, stolen moments, the silent promises that passed between you without words. It wasn’t enough, not by a long shot, but it was all you had, and you weren’t willing to let it go. Joel’s hands moved down your back, fingers gripping tightly as he deepened the kiss, and before you knew it, you were back in the same space, tangled in the sheets, limbs intertwined, the room bathed in a golden glow from the bedside lamp. He made you forget the outside world, the boundaries that separated you, the reality you both lived in.
The hours ticked by, the house settling into a quiet rhythm, when suddenly, a knock echoed from the front door, startling you both. Your head laying on his chest, fingers drawing small hearts on his skin. You sat up, heart pounding, your body still humming from the way Joel fucked you mere seconds ago. Joel frowned, pulling on his jeans as he stood, moving quietly to check the door. “Who the hell…” Joel muttered under his breath, his voice low as he moved down the hallway.
You followed him, grabbing a robe as you went, trying to calm the sudden rush of panic rising in your chest. There shouldn’t be anyone at the door. Your mother wasn’t due back for hours, and you hadn’t heard any cars pull up outside. Joel cracked the door open just a sliver, and there, standing in the darkened porch, was Marjorie. Your mother’s supposed best friend, her face illuminated by the porch light, a twisted smirk curling at the edges of her lips.
Your heart sank.
“Joel,” she greeted him, her voice dripping with something that felt far too dangerous for your liking. Her eyes flicked past him, landing on you standing behind him, the color draining from your face. She didn’t need to say anything to confirm what she already knew. It was written all over her face—the satisfaction, the power she held now. Marjorie stepped closer, her smirk widening. “Well, isn’t this interesting,” she said, her voice laced with amusement. “Your mom’s out, isn’t she? And here you two are, playing house.” Joel’s jaw clenched, his fingers gripping the edge of the door tighter. “What the fuck do you want, Marjorie?” he growled, his voice low, protective. Marjorie laughed softly, stepping forward, closer to the threshold. “Relax, Joel. I’m not here to spoil the fun. Yet.” Her eyes flicked to you again, sharp and knowing, as if seeing right through you. “I just wanted to… catch up. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”
You felt your stomach twist. This wasn’t just about her catching you. There was something more. You could see it in the way she looked at Joel. so bitter. Had she been following you two? has she seen anything at the wedding? it's clear she already knew.
It hit you all at once—the stories your mom had told you about their past. Marjorie and Joel. They had been together once, years ago, long before you’d ever met him. And now, here she was, standing on your doorstep, holding your secret in her hands. “I could ruin you both, you know,” Marjorie continued, her tone casual, but the threat clear in her words. “Tell your mother everything. She deserves to know, doesn’t she? But…” She paused, her eyes narrowing. “We don’t have to go down that road. Not if you do exactly what I say.” You swallowed hard, your throat suddenly dry. She wasn’t just going to tell your mom. She was going to use this. You could see it now, the leverage she had, the game she was about to play.
“What do you want?” Joel asked, his voice steady, but you could feel the tension radiating off him. Marjorie tilted her head, pretending to think. “Oh, nothing much. Just a little… cooperation.” She smiled, the same smile that had always made your skin crawl. “I’ll be in touch.”
And with that, she turned and walked away, leaving the two of you standing in the doorway, your secret hanging in the air like a ticking time bomb. You slammed the door shut behind her, your heart racing, your mind spinning. “What are we going to do?” you whispered, looking up at Joel, the fear clear in your voice. Joel didn’t answer right away. He just stared at the door, his jaw clenched tight, his hands still gripping the frame. After a moment, he turned to you, his expression softening, and he pulled you into his arms. “We’ll figure it out,” he murmured, his voice steady, but you could hear the worry underneath. “I’m not losing you.”
I could ruin you both, you know.
Joel’s hand was still resting on your back, his thumb brushing gently against your skin, but it wasn’t enough to calm the storm raging inside you. Marjorie knew. And now she held the keys to your entire world, dangling them just out of reach, ready to use them whenever it suited her best.
And your mom. the anger started to burn slowly, creeping in like a wave of heat under your skin. She was out with friends right now, laughing, drinking, celebrating her happiness, all the while oblivious to what was happening behind her back. With her husband. Your heart clenched at the thought of it. A marriage she didn’t even deserve.
Had she ever really deserved him?
The more you thought about it, the more it all made sense. The way your mom had paraded Joel around like some prize, showing him off to her friends— especially to Marjorie. You remembered now, how Marjorie had once had a fight with your mother, it seemed long ago, about her engagement to Joel. You remember Marjorie crying that day about how she had cared for him, how she had fallen in love with him, that what happened between them wasn't just a fling. And what did your mom do? She married him anyway. She married her best friend’s ex without a second thought. And now you were the one being threatened for it. The bitterness in your chest was growing, and you could feel it settling into something sharper, something more dangerous.
“She’s not gonna leave us alone, is she?” you finally asked, your voice quieter than you wanted it to be. You felt exposed, vulnerable. Joel sighed, his fingers tightening their hold on you, but there was no reassurance in his grip. He didn’t answer right away, and that silence said more than any words could have. He wasn’t sure either.
“I don’t know,” Joel finally muttered, running a hand through his hair, his eyes dark with the weight of it all. “But I’ll handle it. I’m not lettin’ her take this from us.”
"Were you really together, with her I meanㅡ seems like she still likes you very much.." you bite, and the man turns, looking at you with a furrowed etched into his face. "We were together like 10 years ago, for fuck's sake, sheㅡ I don't even know. I didn't know she was so close to your mom, never saw them together much..." does he feel pitty for her?
You wanted to believe him. You wanted to cling to that hope that somehow, some way, things would stay the same, and Marjorie would just disappear into the background. But you weren’t that naive. Not anymore. Not after seeing the look in Marjorie’s eyes—like she was waiting for the perfect moment to strike, to dig her claws in and rip everything apart. Your phone buzzed on the nightstand, cutting through the tense silence in the room. You jumped slightly, startled by the noise. When you picked it up, your stomach dropped.
• I hope you enjoyed tonight, sweetheart. Don’t worry. I won’t ruin your fun just yet. i care for my friends, unlike some.
it made you feel sick. She wasn’t done with you. You turned the phone toward Joel, showing him the text, and watched as his jaw tightened again, the muscle in his cheek twitching with barely restrained anger. “She’s not gonna stop, Joel." you whispered, more to yourself than to him. “She’s going to drag this out. Until she gets whatever she wants." Joel’s eyes darkened. “Not if I can help it,” he growled, voice thick with frustration. “But she’s not bluffin’. She ain't like that. We need to be careful.” The weight of his words hung heavy in the air between you. Careful. You had been careful. For two months, you had mastered the art of lying, sneaking, hiding your relationship from the world. And for what? To have it all crumble because of one bitter, jealous woman. But what did she want? What would it take for her to keep her mouth shut?
As if in answer to your question, another message buzzed through:
• It’s been lonely for me, you know, since your mom stole Joel. I think it’s only fair we share, don’t you? Maybe then I’ll keep quiet.
Your heart sank. She wasn’t even hiding it. She wanted him. She wanted Joel. She was dangling that threat over your head, practically daring you to make a choice. And for a moment, you felt nothing but cold, bitter hatred.
For her.
For your mother.
For the situation you had been pulled into.
“What does she want?” Joel asked, sensing the shift in your expression. You hesitated. Could you tell him? Could you even say it out loud? That this wasn’t just about telling your mom the truth. Marjorie was trying to take him from you in the most disgusting way possible.
You swallowed hard, the bile rising in your throat. “She wants you.” The words felt bitter on your tongue, like poison seeping through your veins. Joel’s expression hardened, anger flashing in his eyes as he pulled away, pacing the room. “That damn bitch" His voice trailed off, but you could feel the heat off of him, the barely restrained fury that rippled through his body. “She’s sick,” you said, sinking down onto the edge of the bed, your fingers gripping the sheets as you tried to steady yourself. The rage in your chest was building, mingling with the jealousy that was already there, a fire that wouldn’t stop growing. "But we're sick too for starting all of this."
Butㅡ
How had it come to this? How had your mother allowed someone like Marjorie to stay so close? She had known about their past. She had known Joel was once Marjorie’s. Best friends don’t do that. They don’t betray each other like that. But your mother had. So did she deserve all of this?
All of the resentment you had pushed down over the last few months—the jealousy, the anger—was bubbling to the surface. Your mother had always been selfish, hadn’t she? Always thinking about herself first. Sure, she acted like she cared about you, like she wanted the best for you, but it had always been her own happiness that came first. Even after the divorce, it was all about her—her search for the perfect man, her obsession with finding someone who would make her feel young and beautiful again.
And she had found him. Joel. A man who had never really been hers to begin with.
He is mine now.
The bitterness was sharper now, more pronounced. It wasn’t just about Marjorie anymore. It was about the way your mother had taken what didn’t belong to her, and now the whole thing was falling apart, crumbling around you. Maybe this was what she deserved. “I’m not letting Marjorie get what she wants,” you said, your voice firm, your mind made up. “I won’t let her touch you. She doesn’t deserve it.” Joel stopped pacing, his eyes locking on yours. “We’ll find a way outta this, baby. We’ll figure it out.”
But there was doubt in his voice. You could hear it. You could see it in the way his shoulders sagged slightly, the weight of the situation pressing down on him, on both of you. This was bigger than the two of you now. Marjorie wasn’t going to let this go, and the truth was, she had all the power. Still, you weren’t about to let her take Joel from you. Not after everything. Not when he was the only thing keeping you sane.
As the night stretched on, you lay together in silence, the darkness outside matching the heaviness in your chest. Joel’s arm was wrapped around you, but it wasn’t enough to keep the thoughts from swirling in your mind.
How long can we keep this up?
It wasn’t just Marjorie that made you feel this way—it was your mother too. The way she had always been the center of attention, the way she had stolen Joel knowingly from Marjorie. You hated her for it. And now, with Joel by your side, you realized you hated her even more for what she still didn’t know. She had done this. She had created this mess. And now, she was out with her friends, celebrating her perfect life, while you were left to pick up the pieces. She deserves this, doesn't she?
The days became an unbearable blur, each one bleeding into the next with that same dull, gnawing anxiety eating away at you. Marjorie's threat hung over you like a dark cloud, looming over every stolen glance, every whispered word exchanged between you and Joel. You couldn't escape the feeling of dread that clawed at your chest each time your phone buzzed. Every vibration rattled your nerves, setting off a wave of panic that crashed through your mind, sending your heart racing.
What if this was it? What if today was the day Marjorie made her move, the day everything fell apart?
For three agonizing days, you waited for the inevitable blow, for the moment she would pull the trigger and expose the fragile world you and Joel had built in secret. You could barely sleep, your mind racing, filled with endless scenarios, each more horrifying than the last. And through it all, Joel remained steady, his calm exterior masking the storm raging inside him. He tried to reassure you, to tell you that things would be okay, that you would figure it out together, but even he couldn't hide the worry in his eyes. Then, on the third day, the message came. It was short, sharp, and to the point, the words searing themselves into your brain as you stared at the screen in disbelief.
• Tonight. My place. Don’t keep me waiting.
Your stomach twisted into knots, a wave of nausea rising in your throat as you turned the phone toward Joel. He glanced at it, his face darkening, a deep frown etching itself into his features. For a moment, neither of you spoke, the silence in the room thick with tension. You could feel the dread creeping up your spine, wrapping itself around your heart like a vice, squeezing tighter and tighter with each passing second.
"She's gonna keep pushing until she gets what she wants," you whispered, your voice trembling with fear and barely-contained anger. You could feel the tears prickling at the corners of your eyes, but you blinked them back, refusing to let them fall. Not yet. Not in front of Joel. He didn't respond immediately, his jaw tightening as he stared down at the floor, lost in thought. The lines on his face seemed deeper, etched with frustration and helplessness, and for a brief, terrifying moment, you wondered if there was anything he could do to fix this. If there was any way out.
Then, out of nowhere, the words tumbled from your lips, almost before you could stop them, a desperate attempt to break the silence, to grasp at any solution, no matter how insane.
"What if we kill her?" The question lingered in the air, absurd and reckless, and you weren't even sure why you'd said it, or what kind of response you were hoping for. But the words had left your mouth before you could pull them back. For a moment, Joel just stared at you, his brow furrowing in shock, as if he couldn't quite believe what he had just heard. His lips parted slightly, his gaze flickering with confusion, before the tension broke, and suddenly, inexplicably, he started to laugh.
It was a quiet, breathy chuckle at first, one that caught you completely off guard. "What the—what?" Joel’s voice cracked with amusement, his eyes softening as he shook his head. "Baby, what the fuck, no," he said, still chuckling as he reached out to cup your face, his rough thumb brushing gently across your cheek. You wanted to be mad at him for laughing, for finding humor in this moment of utter despair, but the sound of his voice—his warmth—made it impossible. Even in the midst of this chaos, his touch had the power to calm the storm inside you, if only for a second.
"This is no time for jokes..." you muttered, your voice cracking, though the bitterness in your words faded the moment his thumb stroked your skin again, grounding you in the present. Joel chuckled softly, pressing his forehead against yours, his laughter slowly fading as his expression turned serious again. "We ain't killin' nobody, sweetheart," he said quietly, his voice firm but gentle. "That's not how we fix this."
You exhaled a shaky breath, nodding slightly, though the frustration still gnawed at you. It wasn’t like you’d actually meant it. The suggestion had been a fleeting, desperate thought, a reflection of just how cornered you felt by Marjorie’s relentless threats. But it felt like there were no real options left, and that sense of helplessness was eating away at you, pulling you deeper into a spiral of panic. "Then what?" you whispered, your voice barely above a breath. "What do we do? Because I can't... I can't keep living like this. I can't keep looking over my shoulder, waiting for her to tear us apart. I don’t know how much longer I can take it."
Your hands were trembling, your fingers digging into the fabric of Joel's shirt as you clung to him, desperate for some sense of stability. You looked up at him, pleading silently for him to offer you some kind of solution—any solution that didn’t involve losing him. But Joel’s face softened with concern, his eyes flickering with sadness as he tilted his head slightly, as if searching for the right words.
"Let’s... let’s run away," you blurted out, the words tumbling out in a rush before you could second-guess yourself. "You said you wanted to—wanted to run away with me. You promised me, Joel. You said we could leave all of this behind, give me a baby, start over somewhere new where nobody would find us. Was that all a lie? Did you even mean any of it?" Your voice cracked, and this time you couldn't stop the tears from welling in your eyes, your chest tightening with the flood of emotions.
Joel's eyes widened, and he looked taken aback by the sudden outburst, his hands gripping your shoulders as if trying to steady you. "Shit, baby, I—" he started, but the words seemed to catch in his throat. Panic surged through you, your heart pounding in your chest as doubt clawed its way to the surface. Was this all just some fleeting fantasy for him? Something he had whispered in the heat of the moment, a promise he never intended to keep? The thought terrified you, the idea that Joel— your Joel, might not feel as deeply as you did.
"So you lied to me," you snapped, your voice rising as anger and hurt bled into every word. "You don’t love me, do you? You never meant any of it!"
Joel’s face twisted with anguish, his hands coming up to cradle your face, his voice urgent as he tried to stop the storm that was building inside you. "What? No—baby, don’t say that. I love you, I swear to God, I love you more than I can even say." He pressed his forehead against yours, his breath shaky as his fingers tightened their hold on you. "But we can't just run away from this, not yet. I want to—God, you have no idea how much I want to—but we have to fix this first. We can't leave things this way."
You swallowed hard, the tears now flowing freely down your cheeks, and Joel reached up to brush them away, his lips pressing softly against your forehead as he spoke again, his voice filled with tenderness. "I promise you, baby, after we fix this—after we figure out a way to make this right—we’ll go. We’ll run away, just like I said. We’ll find some quiet little town, far away from all of this. We'll have our own little house, just you and me... and our family. We'll make that life, I swear to you."
He pulled back just enough to look into your eyes, his own gaze filled with determination and something softer—something that made your heart ache with longing. "You have to believe me," he whispered, his thumb brushing over your lips. "We’ll have everything, baby, but we need to be smart about this."
You blinked back the remaining tears, nodding as you tried to steady your breathing, your heart still racing but calmer now that you could see the sincerity in his eyes. "But what if we can’t fix it?" you asked, your voice small and trembling. "What if—"
"No," Joel cut you off, his voice firm but gentle. "Don’t think like that. We’re gonna fix this. I’ll make sure of it." You wanted to believe him. You wanted so badly to cling to the hope that everything would turn out okay in the end, that you and Joel would find a way to be together without the constant threat of Marjorie, or your mom. But the fear still lingered, a shadow that refused to disappear no matter how many promises Joel made.
"I need you to be strong for me, baby," Joel whispered, his hand gently cupping the back of your head, pulling you against his chest. "I need you to be my strong little girl, okay? Can you do that for me?"
His voice was soft, soothing, and you melted into his touch, nodding against his chest as the tension slowly ebbed away. "I’m your st-strong girl," you mumbled through your sniffles, your fingers gripping his shirt as you held on to him. "I love you.. so m-much.."
"I know you do, sweet thing," he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "I love you too. More than you know."
taglist ⭐️ ㅡ @eviispunk @joeldjarin @whimsiwitchy @guelyury @untamedheart81
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal smut#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#joel x reader#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#joel miller x you#joel miller#pedro pascal fanfic#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal x you#joel miller angst#pedro pascal angst
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