#also i want more alter content but idk what to make

[normal-nightmare]

It's me again and please keep yapping this is the tasty content I come here for. lol I've been sitting here a while (longer than is polite) trying to form a proper response to my previous ask cause it was literally everything! I wish I could be half as eloquent instead of just yelling XD

like there are so many things that draw me to these two, and ngl it definitely started with the whole pseudo-incest vibe but they really are so complex and you really hit the nail with this:

Just... they're so complicated and it sucks that people don't wanna explore that because of the preconceived notion that they're brothers, nothing more, nothing less. Sure, legally they are, but they don't... act like it? They didn't grow up together, they weren't very close before Jason died, and they only recently started getting properly close. Jason also has his crush thing going on (seriously, how else am I supposed to interpret RHATO v2 annual 1??)

Look I will forever maintain Dick was Jason’s gay awakening and that boy has been in love with Dick since he was what 12? 15? Also the way you described their relationship to each other was so delicious and alterous is such a great term for them.

I feel like jaydick becoming canon one day would be a natural progression of their relationship. Especially since they seem to be getting paired up as a duo more often. Readers love them, comic artists and writers like them too- i feel like jaydick actually happening one day wouldn't be extremely surprising.

THISTHISTHIS!!! I hope this does happen.🙏

Also re: dickbabs and not making certain characters bisexual I feel that on such a spiritual level. Like I’m sorry but both Jason and Dick read as queer to me? Idk how to describe it. Which is why I love the little touch of bi Dick in Gotham Knights.

Also speaking of Gotham Knights, I finally finished it and holy fuck what the fuck? One of my few complaints is that I wish it was longer. I need GK2: electric boogaloo but this time with a Poison Ivy case file because reasons. I adored every interaction Dick and Jason had, from the emails to the flirting in front of everyone’s salad, plus how they were almost always near each other? (also Jason looked so good in that post credit scene in the Batcave I choose to believe every time he wears it, Dick can’t keep his hands to himself 🫣)

ALSO

I genuinely feel like the writers were intending for jaydick to happen in a DLC given how much setup there is.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this? I want to yell about this game so much. I wish I had someone to play co-op with me so I could see some of those Jaydick interactions too 😞

GOD honestly i have a million thoughts on Dick and Jason's relationship in Gotham Knights?? Because what the HELL is going on in that game!!!

It utterly BAFFLES me when other people read their interactions (Belfry, cutscenes, whatever) as brotherly/familial bc like... if you're interacting with your family like that I'm so concerned?? Bc they're gay as hell!! They flirt the ENTIRE GAME. Like... it's ridiculous how in-your-face they are about it. It's not even gay subtext anymore, it's just... text. Saying they're not gay in Gotham Knights is like saying Jayce and Viktor were 'just brothers' in Arcane to me LMFAO.

Like... the rooftop scene for one reads as really BAD flirting on Dicks part. It doesn't feel like he's being deliberately silly to cheer up Jason until he fakes falling over the edge, THEN he's properly silly. The entire scene otherwise, he's just... being really bad at flirting? And it's funnier that both that and then him being silly actually kinda WORKS on Jason. He laughs (laughs!!), relents and let's Dick sit next to him! It's so, so cute!!

And then the little interaction where Dick says that the Belfry needs a cat, and then Jason suddenly flirts with him?? Like the line "Listen, Grayson, if you're scared of some mouse you saw scurrying, I'll keep you safe." Is ABSOLUTELY flirting, and this is only supported by A) the tone Jason has and B) the way Dick stutters and stumbles over his words afterwards. Like, Dick is AUDIBLY flustered and surprised by this. He tries sooo hard to keep it cool but that boys BLUSHING.

And then there's the tension in some scenes?? When they argue in the beginning and when Dick puts a hand on Jason's wrist (after Jason jokes about making Tim a fake ID), and kind of the scene where Jasons mad, and he's sparring with Dick and Dick catches his fist and says "Easy, Tiger." Like.... the tension in these scenes goes crazy?? The physical closeness, the eye contact, the brief silence, calling Jason tiger?? Like I CANNOT be crazy thinking that there's at least a LITTLE sexual tension in these moments. Juuuust a little 🤏

And like! Yeah you're 100% on them being so physically close most of the game. It's hard to find scenes where they AREN'T standing right by each other. And their stories focus a lot on each other!! At least Dicks story focuses a lot on Jason! Like... a LOT, it's 90% Dicks story 😭

And the like,, nicknames. Dick calls Jason things like Big Guy, swole, and Miracules throughout the game, like, consistently. He points out Jason's size and strength a lot?? (His size and strength kink is so blatantly obvious, good lord this man is horny LMAO. I don't blame him though... 👀) and then Jason mainly calls him Grayson, but when he's being vulnerable he calls him Dick? Which is so cute?!

And a cute little detail is how angry Dick gets on Jason's behalf when Talia says they should be grateful she brought Jason back even though she took away his autonomy and used him. Like, Dick is PISSED! Lowkey he's so ready to throw hands right there.

And i think one of my favorite interactions is when Dick chooses to take Jason to a circus that's in town. Like! He's literally asking Jason out on a DATE. And it's the cutest thing ever?! Jason is surprised and it's just... it's so sweet.

And in general they have the sweetest interactions and emails. It's adorable how they kinda talk about Tim like they're proud parents, and it's also cute how they kinda bicker over the perfect sandwiches cause they sound like a married couple loll.

Just!! Auuggghhhh they're so CUTE in Gotham Knights! There's a mountain of setup there for a romantic relationship. It's very in your face, and honestly impossible to ignore if you have ears and eyes. I'm sure there's more i'm missing or just haven't mentioned, but it's so blatant it feels like it couldn't have been on accident.

Just... it's so cute, I'll never get over it 😭

[mothjinxed]

another vent in the tags ugh i should try and do something nice rn

[love2poetry]

loml

⤷ mcu!peter parker x artsy!reader

𝜗𝜚. . . synopsis. you are both peter's love and loss of his life

𝜗𝜚. . . general tag. mostly fluff & some angst

.ᐟ. . . content warnings. if you see any grammar mistakes, keep them to yourself pls thx<3 might be cringe tbh

♫⋆｡ our field of dreams, engulfed in fire your arson's match your somber eyes and i'll still see it until i die, you're the loss of my life

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ sophia's letter ! i wrote this as it's raining and can you guess what scented candle i have lighting? 😝 anyway i went through a depressive episode for no reason so i took a hiatus, but i might be back for the summer. i often go through another one when school starts so im gonna do the most now. i was thinking of making a part two for this using 'peter' but idk. anyway, HIIII NEW GRACIE ALBUM THIS WEEK RAGHH

prequel

wc. 1,926

spring had just began, more warm days after months of freezing cold weather. today, however, seemed to be one of the few cold, rainy days february had left. you had finished homework earlier today, always wanting to have your weekends free as much as you can, so you decided to occupy your mind with something else more calming. 

after finishing the last of your ap psychology assignment, you walked to your kitchen and made yourself a quick matcha. as you measured the green powder into your cat mug - a lovely gift peter got you because one of the cats in the bug is a calico, like your own cat - a thud was heard from your room. it was followed by an 'ow' quickly after, causing a small smile to form on your lips.

peter.

at the sudden noice, autumn, your calico cat, run cautiously out of your room. after finishing your matcha with some creamer, you also walked to your room. 

peter looked towards the door upon sensing you. his spidey sense usually only triggered when danger was near, however, when it came to you, peter was able to feel you. he couldn't describe it, but there was something in you that made him feel safe. it was a warm feeling that ran down his spine, and maybe it was because he was in your room, but he could also smell the vanilla lotion you love to use. everything about you made him feel like he was engulfed by a soft blanket.

so it was no surprise that the first thing peter did was offer you a smile. you automatically smile back of course. how could you not when he looks at you like that, like he was going to somehow bring you the moon he often photographed because it made him think of you. 

'it's raining,' peter pointed with a boyish grin. the obvious pitter patter coming from your windows made you tilt your head playfully. 'you don't say.'

peter patrolled the streets of new york everyday as his alter ego, spider-man. but on days like this, he likes to use the weather as an excuse to come see you earlier instead. he has a build in heater in his suit of course, but in his opinion it doesn't work as well as a good cuddling season with you.

peter sets his masks down on your night stand. 'cuddles?'

you took a sip of your matcha as you walked to your desk. 'i have to work on my portfolio.' you heard him walk to your dresser that sat on the corner of your room where you had a drawer with his clothes to change to after patrol. 'i thought you were done with it?' 

'yea, it's just,' your fingers glossed over your sketches. junior year was ending and soon college applications will start. it had been your dream to attend the art school of chicago, and now that applications are around the corner, you want to make sure everything is perfect. 'it doesn't feel complete.'

once peter was out of his wet suit and into his favorite pair of bright pink hello kitty pants matched with a plain white tee, he sneaked his arms around you, taking your comforting scent in. you felt him place a kiss in your hair, 'i think it's perfect.'

you turn to look at him with an unimpressed expression. his smile widens and he can't fight the urge to kiss you any longer. peter gently presses his lips into yours. he's always been delicate with his kisses, especially after being spider-man. you knew it was his way to ground himself after a day of fighting criminals, so you let him be as soft as he needed. 

you loved it that way. you loved him that way.

peter pulls away first. 'i have some photos i took last week. you could draw some if you need.' 

peter's hobby went hand in hand with your art. thanks to being spider-man, he was able to take some shots of new york no one else would be able to obtain, and he often let you sketch them, so often that half of his storage is pictures he takes for you to draw. the other half is probably of you.

you hum in agreement, still looking into peter's eyes. you have never loved brown as much as you do now. 

'tomorrow.' peter took your mug in one hand, then used the other to hold your hand while he drag you over to bed. 'today, we cuddle.' he set your bug on the night stand. 

you smile. 'okay.'

you two settled under your warm covers with you closest to your mug incase you want a sip, but before you could find a comfortable position, peter stood up, muttering a quick 'wait!'. 

you frown, but understood what he was doing when he pulled a lighter from your drawer in the night stand. he lit up the candle that rested on top. apple pumpkin. you bought a few pumpkin scented candles last fall, and peter grew to love this specific one. he wasn't a fan of scented candles because of his enhanced smell, but this one was subtle enough for him to enjoy without getting a headache.

once peter returned to bed, he wrapped his arms around your waist with his head on your chest. he slightly tilted his head to plant a kiss into your skin. 'i love you.'

his whispered confession filled you with butterflies. you don't know what you did to be lucky enough to love this boy in your arms, let alone be loved back by him. one of your hands wrapped around his back, while the other caressed his check, slightly squishing his face. his chuckles echoed in the room along the rain when you started kissing his face. 

two kisses on his right check, two more on the left, three on his forehead, and one on the bridge of his nose. 

'i love you more.'

a bright smile stayed on peter's face as he shook his head. 'that's not possible.' your smile matched his, 'i think it is. no, i know it is.' 

'i love you most.' before you could disagree, you felt his hands sneak under your shirt, cutting you off by tickling your sides. you squeak in surprise and try to squirm away. your laughter fills peter's ears, 'okay! i can't breathe!'

peter paused his movements and you inhale to suggest, 'we both love each other equally.'

peter makes a thinking face. 'i'll let you have this win,' he rolled his eyes playfully before settling in your arms again. 

the two of you stayed intertwined in bed until you felt peter's breathing slow down, indicating he had fallen asleep. his weight was on your side now, but looking down at him you decided you wanted to engrave this moment forever. 

swiftly, you reached for the small sketchbook you keep on your night stand. thankfully, you had left a pencil there too. you sat up slightly, making sure not to disturb peter's slumber. his arms tighten around you making you freeze, but the light snores coming from peter tell you he is still deep in his sleep.

you find a clean page and begin drawing shapes until you like how they all sit together. you move to the face proportions, not focusing on shading yet. your hand makes the hair part look effortless, and it may be from the many times you've drawn these curls. moving back to the face, you use your finger to blend the lines better.

finishing the rough draft, your focus goes to the nose, moving to the freckles you have memorized. 

'stalker.'

peter's deep voice caused a blush to creep into your cheeks. it wasn't the first time peter caught you drawing him, he has seen the many sketches and paintings you've done of him, but you still shy way when his eyes follow every detail of him you've embedded into your mind. 

if only you knew peter feels the same. to know the person he loves more than anything has memorized him, his body and soul, fills him with an indescribable feeling. he does the same with his camera. most of his photos are moments you've shared together that he wants to remember forever. 

peter not having storage on his phone from all the candid pictures he has of you is his version of when you learned to draw the lines that form around his eyes when he smiles.

'shut up,' you nudge your leg against his. there's smiles on both of your faces as peter snuggles closer to you. 

the room is rather dark by now, only the candle peter had previously lit and another lamp you always have create a cozy atmosphere. the warm glow of the lamp reaches your features enough for peter to see and he takes his time to draw his own painting of you in his mind. 

the flickering flame of the candle mixing with the apple pumpkin scent ignite a perfect portrait of peter you ache to fabricate, you take a mental picture for later.

you could be here with peter for all time. 

neither of you knew that it was only momentary. 

peter climbed through the window, a plastic bag in hand. he pulled his mask off, wet hair falling over his eyes. 

the loud thunder from outside shook his apartment. it started raining earlier that day, so peter decided to cut his patrolling short. he hadn't done it in a while.

his body was freezing from the harsh wind that he old suit would have kept him warm from. he walked towards a basket full of his clothes that sat in a corner, that was his dresser for the time being, and grabbed a gray shirt. 

when peter picked up the shirt, he caught a glimpse of what once were a bright magenta hello kitty bottoms, is now a dull shade of pink. with a sinking feeling, peter decided to put them on as well.

he made it to his twin size bed where he left the bag and took out the single purchase he made. 

a small scented candle. apple pumpkin.

once lit, he set it on the small dining table his studio apartment came with. he stared at it until the soft scent filled his nose. his throat closes when memories of you that are still imprinted in his mind come back. peter feels his left eye twitch as tears threaten to spill, but he refuses to cry. 

he can't afford a breakdown. he has no one to turn to anymore. peter doesn't know if he can pick himself back up if he breaks. it was easier with tony because he had may and friends who cared about him. but especially because he had you. 

now may is gone, he's a stranger to his friends, and every detail of peter you had memorized has been erased. 

peter turns back to his bed and pulls the covers to get in. he continues to stare at the flame emotionless, slowly dissociating from his lonesome. 

even after everything, peter can't comprehend how you could go from perfectly drawing the creases on his lips without a reference to not even remembering his name. 

do you still have those pieces of him? 

do you still draw him even now like it is muscle memory?

is he in your dreams like you are in his?

you will continue to occupy peter's mind until the day being spider-man finally kills him. you were his deepest love, and now his greatest loss. 

[abyssalzones]

Hello! I really love your work in general and your OSDD Ford analysis, I have read it in full at least three times. There’s a line near the end about his different selves possibly becoming more organizing/appearing at different intervals, but you stop there for brevity. Would you care to share any further thoughts? (It’s fine if not.)

Thank you!!

Hi! Really glad to hear you liked it, wait did you say three times? that's nuts. god damn.

I could definitely elaborate, although I want to note that while in part I did stop there for brevity's sake I did also stop there for the sake of making a more unified point- and, importantly, I didn't want to drift too far into the realm of speculation. Or "just making shit up." I often have a hard time positing something if I don't feel it's being elaborated on from a textual basis... which might be kind of goofy when we're talking about a fanbase that was mostly AU content at one point but whatever I've chosen to die on this hill. Anyway.

All my thoughts about OSDD are highly influenced by my experiences with it obviously, therefore my thoughts are probably going to conflict with someone else's, but I think any "organizing" that would happen with separate parts would be heavily influenced by everything in ford's life calming the fuck down and not requiring a rotating cast of coping mechanisms. For example: a good chunk of clarified parts in real DID/OSDD experiences can be classified as introjects. Despite what you commonly see in online subgroups (no judgment, obviously) these introjects are often of real people that might be influential in your life.

repost of funny little comic I drew for effect ^

in my experience these things work on like... the basis of when they're Needed most. if ford is living in a healthy consistent environment with people who love him and can already provide assurances, I think the need to supplement that with any sort of internal coping mechanism would subside. then again, people are vulnerable when they're still trying to settle in a safe space after trauma, it's possible to invent an internal threat to, paradoxically, make circumstances feel more "predictable." coughs loudly. bill already existed functionally in ford's head 90% of the time so it just kind of feels par for the course that a shadow of him is going to stick around. maybe that seems sad or foreboding but I think it's just a normal part of coping with something that haunted you for half of your life. idk.

do I think these mental aspects would manifest outwardly? as in, like, fronting? not really. However I think if anything was noticeable it'd be a difference between like, "panic mode" ford(s) and "normal human citizen on earth" ford. I could definitely see a distinction of perspectives and ability between a self that exists out of pure survival (and probably still thinks he's in sci-fi hell or whatever) and the self that just chills and writes detailed notes on supernatural plants in his journal. there's also something to be said about [the entire fucking thing I wrote about dead alters and the perception of traumatic events as a type of death] and whether or not a part can actually meaningfully "die." sometimes the part of you you thought was a ghost is actually just scared as fuck and when things get less scary they start to come out of hiding. to put it vaguely.

all of these things can be attributed to other aspects of ford as a character: his c-ptsd, potential hallucinations and delusions, broader themes of death and revival irt trauma recovery, etc. but I think of any OSDD analysis I make as like, an extension of all of those things, if that makes sense.

to close off on a meme that nobody has used in years:

[luciddaydreamsstuff]

Desert Duo Doodles! I am in way too many fandoms to count, including content creators and whatnot. It wasn’t until a doodle of some CCs that I realised how many were MCYTs. But I wanted to draw these two cause I liked how I drew Scar in the other original doodle and have drawn Grian a bunch but constantly changed the design. Now I have one that I like.

Under the cut are the individual drawings plus stickers that I forgot to add to the original but decided fuck it it’s done, plus some explanation about design choices and headcanons. (Does anyone even care about that?) Idk and idc, I’ll ramble anyways.

(you don’t have to read the stuff, I don’t really care, but you can if you want)

First off, this one was annoying since it was supposed to be a hug. I was too lazy to draw the Third/Sercet Life outfits, so they are in their default outfits with crowns representing the fact that they won at least one of the Life games.

Ramble: For Grian’s design, I wanted to keep the bird/avian hybrid but also reference other series or past friend. The Life series has the poppy has memorabilia, the blue and red bracelet represents YHS/TS, and the eye necklace is for Evo. The tail is more so a mix of Watcher magic and Avian DNA, bird feet cause why not. The wing ears are hidden to look similar enough to his regular hair, I like to imagine that wing ears are a rarer trait and to not draw too much attention, he would use Watcher magic to change the colour of the wing ears to match his hair. The freckles are based off of the idea that Angel Dust’s freckles are actually just eyes (which were shown in the show), and I liked that idea. He didn’t have freckles before Evo but after in Hermitcraft he did, they are just eyes that are always closed though he can see out of them. It’ll be clearer in the next piece, but his eyes are based off of some bird eyes so a black sclera with coloured pupils. Grian just hides his eyes under his hair since they are more sensitive than normal. Also I didn’t wanna draw his eyes cause it was one of the things I kept changing before.

I’ll go into Scar later since it’s just a half body but he goes by the same rule of his outfit showing where he’s been. So the poppy and lavender for Third Life and the heart necklace for Secret Life. The earrings are based off of the crystals from Season 7.

Alter Egos! Or at least Hot Guy and Arianna Griande. Not much here, but you can see what I meant with the eyes beforehand.

Also, I can’t be the only one to notice or at least point out that Ari and Cute Guy have like the same or a least a very similar colour palette of pink and white.

Final one, and the two are taking a much needed nap. This could take place anywhere though I like to imagine somewhere in Double Life or somewhere between Season 7 - 10

(also I find it very funny how close these two’s bases were for Season 6 - 10. both were near each other in the futuristic district of season six, then next door neighbours at the start of season seven, I don’t need to mention much besides boatem in season eight, again near the start and most of season nine with Scarland and Grian’s timejump build, then finally again in season ten with Magic Mountain. just funny to me for some reason)

Ramble: Scar is like a hybrid between an elf/fae creature and a cat centaur (that I cannot remember the proper name for). The cat half is based off of Jellie, RIP, and his body is scarred because well I mean the dude is accident-prone it’s bound to happen. I imagine that Scar would wear slightly baggy outfits, like they hang off just a bit to not hug his figure. His hair is more based off of Season 9 with him leaning into the whole elf aesthetic, and I both hate and like the hair but whatever. Idk, I kinda just wanted to make him centaur based cause that visual isn’t something I see often. I imagine that hind legs are weaker than the front so he would switch between a cane and a wheelchair that you would see for animals. I might draw that later idk, but yea

If you actually took the time to read this incoherent mess, idk comment a content creator you like, no matter how niche they may be

[fayewoodss]

small rant about drusic if You want to hear

Tbh dream and music is interesting bc "Mask" was his most honest and rawest work on music for me but also had a lot of the mistakes someone who just starts with music makes. Also "Road trip" is very like this too.

Something You can see on his singing. You can tell he practised more and has a better range than before but still has that thing starters have that his voice sounds a bit idk how to Say it...robotic? Like not robotic but sometimes it keeps the same tone for all the song not making the powerful or more emotionally moments feel in their full streght. I think the point when he achieves more this on his new music is on "Until I end up Death" bc that slower and almost pained "until i end up death...im gonna be just fine" its full of emotion that part is trying to give, it gets to You heaieng him song like that.

His new songs with few exceptions like "Until I end up Death" are less raw emotion but are better in the composition deparment. I think rn if dream keeps making music, he'll be able to do something really interesting bc he has the emotions and things he wants to tell and now is learning the "rules" and how to mess with them to make more composed music and songs. And has many people to help him with it rn that are in the industry. I think dream rn is on the stage of learning the basics to alter on make his works Even better

I think the word you mean is "monotonous," and I agree! I think a lot of that is due to not singing/never having sung before, so his range of notes is very limited.

I think my biggest gripe with Dream's music is it's reliance on pop clichés without knowing how to use with intention. The production is very trendy, but in a way that feels stale and canned, as if grabbed off the stock music shelf without thought. That's not a "bad" thing at all, but just shows his amateur breech into the music field. Lyrically, I think he's almost there, with some songs more developed and composed than others, but I personally don't think he's a poet. He is a writer and a great storyteller, but he doesn't quite get the conventions of poetry and what makes poetry music and vice verse. But this reason is also why I think "Mask," with all it's flaws, serves as his most successful piece: it has the earnest vulnerability that makes it poetry which makes it music. It takes risks and deviates from what is expected of pop music, whereas the DrEP in general just feels like radio background music.

When I say all this, I want to be very clear that none of this is negative. It's simply just review and critique. Dream's music still shows promise for growth. There is incredible potential there, and the reason I wholeheartedly believe that is because we know he's a writer and we've seen his writing and storytelling abilities prove to be substantial. On top of that, he has been dabbling in producing and scoring with his recent videos and there has been a lot of positive reception there. He has a high capacity for learning new skills and improving on them, so if he ever continues music professionally (which I think he's still signed to Republic but I could be wrong), I can only see it getting better.

If I were to speak completely honestly, though, I think he should've moved his career toward writing before attempting music. I think Dream releasing YA fiction or even collaborating with an artist to make a graphic novel would've been more widely accepted and successful than music. He has a ton of material already he can choose from, and even though most of it is Minecraft based, he could take those stories and ideas and make something new and original from it. Unfortunately, I think music is just easier for content creators and tends to get pushed by management teams as the only way to move forward in that career field.

[lucid-daydreaming-art]

intro post whoopee!!!

hi guys im lucid :D you can also call me daylin i don’t really care but i may be like woah how do you know my name (i will forget about making this post 2 seconds after posting it) also I AM AN ADULT im 23 and i do not use pronouns just use my name pleaseeeeeee if you have a disability that makes words hard to process i understand if that’s difficult you can just use they/them instead

i am part of the zodiac system! however this is MY blog. alters may speak on here if they absolutely must but this blog is mine and belongs to me!

first off just getting this out there if youre proship, zoo, pedo, incest supporter, endo system supporter, any kind of discriminatory against protected minority groups, and anti-otherkin, shoo. dont want you here youre not welcome. bye bye my content isnt for you.

immmmm an infp-t 4w5 sanguine-melancholic existential-intrapersonal-visual learner seer of heart prospit dreamer true neutral rogue shifter airbender and dragon type trainer for all you personality label freaks

i like to DRAW!!!!! this is an art blog!!!! i will only post art here, all of my reblogs will be on @rigormortisorwhatever save for the posts my close friends make that i want to support here. sometimes i will post just text but thats only if i really need to let you guys known something or im answering a question

my commissions are OPEN!!!!!!!! dm me for commission info im too lazy and busy to make a sheet

if my requests are closed that means theyre closed dont ask me to draw shit please and thank you

im AUTISTIC i am on that mf spectrum been diagnosed since i was three. for me this means im not naturally fluent in social norms or what’s expected from an interaction or how to read others very well. i am also horribly inept at understanding boundaries so please if you are to set one with me give me an explanation as to why or else i freak out. i also have heavy special interests and find it really hard to turn the conversation away from something im fixating on or specially interested in. i also have extremeeeee sensory issues and a hard time being completely flexible when im comfortable in a routine so just be patient with me man adjustments are hard for me. my empathy is also extremely low and im a really really high masking person so if i come off as well versed or allistic just know that i either took a million years to format the right way to say things or i am entirely going off a predetermined script and will fumble if caught off guard. other important stuff ive got adhd bpd cptsd and major depressive disorder which all those combined makes me really flaky when it comes to responding or follow through. i may not reply to you for like 500 years or maybe i will be gods speediest most motivated soldier. just don’t expect me to be a readily available fully capable robot ok?? ok.

uuueeehhhmmm my special interests are pokemon, homestuck, geography, taxonomy, my ocs, ikea, and personality psychology. i guess i also am specially interested in dragons because i like and think about them more than all of the above and have to incorporate them into everything but its less of an ill infodump to you interest and more of an i want to be surrounded by this thing because it brings me extreme comfort because it feels like me.

i am otherkin im a dragon and i look like this:

i will also represent myself like this if im feeling it:

yes i know i am not actually a physical dragon and im not a spiritual kinner i kin for identity purposes and the fact that i feel some pretty intense crippling species dysphoria idk ive been like this since i was 5 i don’t really have memories of my life where i wasnt experiencing animalistic behaviors and instincts

my favorite music artists are s3rl twenty øne piløts nine inch nails muse onerepublic thefatrat glass animals ajr the living tombstone romanceplanet basshunter and italobrothers my favorite medias are the httyd movies pokemon homestuck rick and morty invader zim infinity train gravity falls rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead doctor who my little pony fim dont starve and the mcelroy brothers content

heres some more characters i represent myself as:

ok BYE

[angel-of-the-moons]

Nothing Is Lost

Khonshu x Fem!Reader

TW/CW: Mentions of attempted sexual assault, death, child death, certain amounts of grief, mentions of incestual marriages (It's ancient Egypt, y'all c'mon) canon divergence/merging

MINORS DNI I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR CONTENT YOU CONSUME

A/N: Hah! Betcha I had y'all convinced it was Khonshu creeping through the window, didn't I? :D But also yeah, there's gonna be some inaccuracies here and there while I merge the show and comics (hello, it's fanfiction, duh) Also we get more backstory on Jezebel! Also idk why but this chapter feels off to me, maybe I'll be able to comprehend better (and possibly make edits) once I've had some sleep!

Taglist: @drinkingwithkhonshu

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Chapter 5:

Pomegranates

"And you're positive it's her?"

Jezebel gripped at the inside of her wrist, knuckles white. She swore she could feel the scales burning her palm.

"I know it's her. It has to be." She affirms.

Zephyr croaked from his perch nearby at the man who stood in a darkened corner of the room.

His hands clasped behind his back, his stark white suit stood out from the rest of him (save for the bots of golden button-up that peaked from beneath his collar). A cleanly shaven head, tanned skin and dark, piercing eyes fixing Jezebel with an intense glare from behind his glasses.

"Jezebel, there is no such thing, really, as knowing, and at the same time thinking something has to be what you want it to be."

"Yehya..." She hissed through her teeth, pressing her fingertips to her temple.

"I don't... I can't explain it to you. You don't understand. I know it's her. I don't know how I do, but... I just do. Trust me, okay?" She looked up at him, her brows softly pinched in a plea.

"I would never do anything to cause Him harm. If I ever did I would sooner kill myself. This could... This could lift Him up, Yehya..." She said to him.

"If it wasn't for your intervention, as well as Khonshu's... I would be dead like almost all of Ammit's blind followers. I would rather my heart serve the Moon, than serve the Soul-Eater."

"Well, Jake Lockley saw to that loose end being tied." Yehya Badr sighed, his posture slumping somewhat as he paced.

He looked at the small golden idol depicting Khonshu, the moon disc proudly displayed upon his head, and his gaze softened.

"Yes, He seems rather keen on utilizing Jake, lately. Whether or not Marc knows about him I cannot say, yet. I must admit, I missed Khonshu's voice whilst he was away, dealing with Spector's insistence on letting his alter, Steven Grant live a "normal" life..." His fingers brushed the base of the statue.

"I just wish he came to me for help. One Fist isn't enough to defend the world."

"It is a war on more than one front. Two Fists means He has more than one weapon to defend the innocent in different places." Jezebel said, sipping her spicy tea.

"Perhaps Khonshu kept you here to carry out his will in his absence? He trusts you enough, believes in your abilities enough that he doesn't need to hang over your shoulders like he does with that Spector fellow and his... brothers."

"Maybe you're right." Yehya said, tilting his head as her turned to look at her again.

"But we're getting off track." He moved to sit in the chair across from her, gingerly holding the teacup in his large hand as he sipped silently.

"You've seen her?" Jezebel asked, quirking a brow.

"Yes. And frankly, she looks like death. She looks like she isn't sleeping, or eating. I'm honestly curious as to when was the last time she saw a doctor."

"There's a reason for that." Jezebel set her cup on the small plate with a clink.

"And that is..." He asked, raising an eyebrow in return.

"She came to me almost a week ago, now. She's been having what she assumed were dreams, but from the little context she's been able to disclose they sound like... visions."

"And these dreams only happened after..."

"She's had them her whole life. They've gotten more intense, more disturbing to her after I gave her the statue and told her to pray to Khonshu for protection."

She reached out to the crystal ball in the middle of the table and waved her hand over it. Briefly, an image of the moon swirled in its depths, before vanishing.

She showed him the conversation she'd had with you, the things you said happened, what you dreamt and what happened to the man who tried to rape you.

Yehya's brow furrowed deeply as he listened, absorbing every detail before the images in the crystal vanished.

"...That does sound concerning. You... Do you think Khonshu himself saved her? Directly?"

"Perhaps. Perhaps not." Jezebel sighed. "She can't ascertain any details of her dreams for me to build more, and well... Given that it has been so long, perhaps she has access to magic, like I do. It can explain some of the things she dreams, her "feeling" as she describes it... Things change, though that body isn't the original, who is to say she doesn't have a gift for magic in this life?"

"You're a mystic. A priestess. This woman... She cleans offices." He said skeptically, leaning back in the chair.

"Merit was simply the cousin of a wealthy man." Jezebel said, her gaze narrowing sharply. "She was a scholar, a scribe. That isn't much higher than a cleaner, these days."

"...A scribe with the ear and arm of a god." He murmured.

He met her gaze with his own.

"But you don't know for certain."

"It... It might not be Merit. It could be someone else, but I just..." Jezebel ran a hand through her hair.

"I feel it, Yehya. Inside me. I feel a connection to her, and it's one I haven't felt since..."

Yehya reached out and touched her hand in a comforting gesture, knowing the subject was a tense one for her.

"I know." He said. Then, he leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes with a sigh that he exhaled slowly.

"I will investigate, watch this woman from afar. I will see if there is any truth to your suspicions. And if there is, I must watch her, ensure she is kept safe so history does not repeat itself."

"...Maybe she can tell us who killed her." She whispered softly.

Yehya's head snapped to look at her. "Whoever it was is most likely long dead."

"But if they aren't... Justice might finally be dealt. He can finally have closure to the mystery." She insisted, tapping the table with her fingers.

"Perhaps." He conceded.

Yet again, Jezebel astounded him.

"Has Khonshu mentioned any changes with Merit's tomb?" She asked him. "Has anybody found it?"

"No, it is tucked so far away within the desert and hidden with magic. The previous Fists did well to conceal her tomb and keep her safe. Khonshu would certainly have mentioned if interlopers had raided the place."

"Good. Maybe one day..."

Yehya made a dry chuckle.

"If this woman is Merit. Maybe. But who wants to visit their own grave?"

"You'd be surprised, Yehya." Jezebel smiled, sipping her tea.

"Graveyards are often haunted. By the living and the dead. Some by choice."

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You pulled at the hem of your apron beneath the table, nerves frayed and body exhausted.

When was the last time you ate? You ate this morning, right? You were sure of it.

You had honey and bread, with some dates.

Or... did you? Was that another dream, too?

But, wait...

You hadn't slept. At all. You were so sleep deprived that the line between the waking and sleeping world were blurred so well that you were jumpy, seeing things even when you were awake.

You would be walking down the street and all of a sudden you'd be on a cliff, overlooking some kind of town, or a city, the stars and moon shining high above you. You stopped yourself before you fell over the edge, or a large hand on your shoulder jerked you back.

Yeah, when you snapped out of it you saw you had almost been hit by a car and a cyclist pulled you back to safety before you got turned into street pizza.

You were dreaming even when you were awake, it seemed.

Right now, a horrid pit was in your stomach, your nerves tangled and twisted violently together. You had been up for nearly three days. You knew that legally you were insane once you'd gone past the 72 hour marker. But you were just so afraid to sleep because of your dreams that you just... You couldn't. You couldn't stand it.

And here you were, in your boss's office. Not just the guy in charge of the cleaners, but the whole building itself.

It was currently 9:27 am, your old, beat up watch told you.

You raised your eyes to look at your reflection in the small mirror on his desk, and squeezed your eyes shut.

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The incense filled the air, the smell coming in off the Nile and the blooms around it being carried on the wind, straight into your house.

You hummed as you looked into your golden mirror, applying with great care and practice your kohl eyeliner, applying your wings; being careful not to poke yourself with the stick. Then, you begin drawing out your eyebrows, the end slope following the curve of your wings.

You take a moment to admire yourself, smiling proudly at the turquoise coloring you'd applied on your eyes, and how well it complimented your looks, highlighting the blackness of your liner, and stood out starkly against your darkened skin.

Setting the kohl stick down, you grab the reed with the red ochre attached and begin to daintily apply it to your lips, giving yourself a nice red tint.

Once finished with that, you placed your used tools on your makeup pallet.

When you were finished applying your makeup, you set down your mirror and reached out to your cosmetics box, and grabbed a small ivory pot and opened it and dipped your fingers in the scented oil, dabbing it on your wrists and throat, rubbing it into your skin in gentle circles, the spice and sweetness mixing together into an intoxicating scent.

You run your hand over your shaved scalp, feeling the fuzzy beginnings of new hair growth start to form. You frowned.

Ugh, you'd have to shave it again when it got too long. You did not want to risk getting infested with lice.

You would cross that road when you came to it.

You stand, and go over to the chest at the foot of your bed, trying to decide on what to wear, as you were still only clad in your small trappings that only covered your nethers.

It was rather hot today, the heat already stifling in the early morning.

So, you decided on your beaded dress. A garment that left little to the imagination, yes, but given the summer heat many opted for the most breezy and comfortable clothing available in their wardrobes, the richer ladies opting for beads to accentuate their beauty.

You grab the garment and slide it over yourself, beads tinkling as you do so. The upper edge lay on your ribs below your breasts, the straps coming up and over your shoulders to cover your breasts (barely, given the style of beading).

Once clothed, you walk back over to your vanity and grab the golden and beaded neck collar your father gifted to you a week before he died. It was your favorite piece, depicting the face of your mother, who, passed away not long after your younger brother, whom had drowned when playing in the Nile. His body had gotten swept away in the currents and it was a full day before they fished him from the waters.

Your mother mourned painfully, loudly... Her cries, you felt, could still be heard even in your dreams as a girl...

Your father told you the pain of losing him was simply too much, and the Gods decided they couldn't keep her separated from her younger child any longer; that her prayers and desperate cries for her son broke the very heart of Anubis himself, so they showed mercy and claimed her early so she could reunite with your brother and ease her suffering.

After your father's death, the golden collar had been modified at your request, showing a depiction of both your father and brother as well, happily holding onto one another in Sekhet-Aaru.

The only members left of your family were you and your cousin, whom your father once tried to marry you off to. You declined, and surprisingly your father accepted. Mostly because your cousin had already expressed an interest in the daughter from another noble family, one closely related to the royal line. Your cousin graciously allowed you to live with her and his new family, mostly because you and his wife had become steadfast and loyal friends, especially after you helped her through the birth of their daughter. Your cousin exalted her birth and graciously left lavish offerings to Taweret and Hathor as thanks for their protection during the pregnancy and birth.

You sighed wistfully at the thought of family. Your parents would never see you wed, or have children of your own. Your father passed away three seasons ago, leaving you the last of his line.

The collar had always allowed you to feel their embrace, even if it was only by the cold of the soft metal and beadwork.

You sigh once more at the sentiment and go to put in your heavy turquoise earrings (to match your makeup and the beads on your dress). Then it was the ivory bracelets on your wrist, and the simple silver anklet that hung over your foot, the cold material soothing you.

It had been a recent gift from your lover. It pleasantly surprised you, you honestly hadn't expected him to be one for gifts such as these.

Inside the anklet were carvings depicting a poem of sorts dedicated to you.

"To my love,

Without you I would have no sky.

There would be no inky black to hang the stars,

The jewels of the night.

Or for the Moon to rest and shine down upon you."

You giggled as you reached for your crimped wig, sliding it comfortably into place before applying the gold and silver chains you hung as a sort of extra ornamentation. After that, you reached for your linen shawl and draped it over your shoulders, tucking it in so it concealed yourself just a bit more conservatively than your dress on its own did.

Afterwards you slipped on your most comfortable sandals and grabbed your basket, as well as whatever items you would need to trade for things you'd need or like. Sure, you could have the servants do the shopping, but then you'd never get out of the house, save for when your lover whisked you away into the night.

You wanted to feel the sun on your skin, as blistering as it was, feel the breeze on your face; feel the atmosphere of a bustling market.

You pause to look at the altar across from your bed, where the incense burned and your offerings lay.

You wondered if you should shed these clothes once you got back from the market, or from the Palace this evening.

You certainly had an excuse, it was hot, after all.

He would come tonight, your lover. And already you knew what the night would entail once the two of you embraced.

Before you leave your room, you lean over and kiss the statue on the altar, smiling happily.

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You jerk your head up with a start and blink when you see your boss sitting in front of you, looking concerned.

You glanced down to your watch.

9:32 AM.

It felt like hours you had been in that dream. Maybe less, but it sure felt like a while. But it had only been a few minutes. Did you nod off when you weren't paying attention..?

He repeated your name again, and you cleared your throat.

"Y-yes sir?" You asked meekly.

"I've received several concerns from your coworkers about you." He sighed, opening the file and flicking through the papers.

"You've been a loyal employee, you've almost never missed a day since you were hired..." He continued to list off the hood things you'd done since coming to work, there.

However that icy, nagging feeling in your gut wouldn't go away.

"But the concerns are regarding your well-being. At first I paid them no mind, until I saw you with my own eyes." His bushy brows furrowed deeply, a frown crinkling his salt-and-pepper beard.

"Alec is a good friend of mine, and he as well told me how you've been feeling. He also told me recently about a man who has been spotted in the vicinity, watching you through the windows."

"Th-that was one time..." You peep.

"Well, given everything that's happened to you, kid... I'd rather not risk it." He scribbled something down in one of the binders on his desk, before hastily typing on his computer.

"As of this second, you're on your PTO."

You felt your mental train derail as you blinked dumbly at him.

"But--"

"No buts, missy. You're obviously not well, and I can't have you passing out on the job or falling down stairs. That's dangerous to your health and my company's reputation. You've racked up enough time to..." He blinked outrageously.

"...You've worked long enough that you could take a few months off work. For now, I'm giving you just two. You need to see a doctor, and get help."

He locked his gray eyes with yours.

"I think you got narcolepsy, kid. I had an aunt who had it when I was a kid. It's not good, that's what got her killed. Passed out at the wheel and got into a wreck."

He stood up from his chair, walked over to you, and rested his hand on your shoulder, fixing you with a gaze most would save for their child or grandchild.

"Trust me, kid. You're one of the best cleaners I've ever hired. Probably the smartest, though Alec tries, bless his soul. The man has admitted he's never been the sharpest tack in the box..." He chuckled a bit. "I'd hate to lose you to your health, of all things. It'd be easier to handle if you were poached out by some other company."

Your jaw hung, opening and closing but you couldn't think of words to say.

"Go on, kid. I have a meeting to get to. Go home, eat something, and take a nap."

As you were gently ushered out of his office, you were left in the quiet ambience of the sterile hallway, the buzzing of the lights above droning endlessly into your ears.

Great.

Just great.

What the hell were you supposed to do for two months?

Maybe... you could conduct some more research. Learn more about Egypt, keep writing your dreams down, and go see Jezebel again...

But first things first... You had to figure out why your hands wouldn't stop tingling.

That would have to wait. At this point you didn't care if you didn't get well-rested.

You needed sleep.

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Chapter 6: Link

[chuuyrr]

Hi! Idk if you also write for Poe but I rlly need some more oneshots or scenarios or fanfics of him 😞😞 but can you do something where we’re scarlet witch and Poe is our boyfriend? How would he react having a s/o who’s really strong and powerful? And how would he and ranpo and maybe other agency members feel about him having us as his girlfriend? Sorry if this isn’t specific enough! Idk what else to put in this request 😭

poe with a scarlet witch! s/o

bungo stray dogs x scarlet witch! reader

masterlist of the series

╰➤ CW(s): spoilers from bungo stray dogs (specifically season 2), headcanons + scenarios, major fluff content

╰➤ PAIRING(s): edgar allan poe

headcanons !

poe is socially awkward and timid by nature, but when he's with you, his dearly beloved, he's a tad different. poe is a lot more confident. his voice isn't as quiet, and it's full of love and respect for you.

i think you and poe are a match made in heaven. even your abilities go together.

poe's ability, black cat in the rue morgue, allows him to create a fantasy world governed by his own set of rules, with his own writings serving as the media.

you, on the other hand, have the ability to alter reality due to your possession of chaos magic as the scarlet witch.

you can even manipulate reality at a molecular level very similar to his, allowing you to recreate the fantasy world he creates in real life, which is incredible.

as the scarlet witch, or as an ability user with chaos magic, you are undeniably strong and powerful.

if you wanted, you could even go head-to-head with the port mafia executive who is renowned for his gravity manipulation abilities. you would win.

it truly astounds and somewhat frightens poe how the same red psionics you possess that can wreak havoc and alter reality can be so domestic and endearing when you use it to leviate him the cup of tea you made for him, or when you use it to leviate all sorts of kitchen utensils in the kitchen while you make him food.

you can be really frightening if you want to, especially if you have to fight. let's say you want to protect poe or another ability user.

poe is astounded by how quickly you transform from a sweet, kind, and somewhat shy darling into a straight-up violent force to be reckoned with.

i feel like poe would definitely be a little scared, because again, you're strong and powerful with such an ability, err, abilities?

but poe is mostly bewitched of his darling—like, you know how dazai stares at chuuya when he uses corruption?—poe has the same kind of gaze towards you whenever you use your chaos magic to the fullest.

oh, and being poe's beloved, he spoils you a lot. if poe sees you staring at a piece of clothing or jewelry, he'll get it for you in an instant. a manuscript worth millions is nothing compared to the things he buys.

i also think poe is a traditional type of lover. again, he lavishes you with gifts, and among them is a bouquet of your favorite flowers, as well as handwritten love letters and poems.

his poems might be cheesy but romantic, making you feel loved at all times. they are all about your smile, beauty, strength, and his vow and desire to love and be with you forever. poe finds your flushed cheeks and the soft giggle that escapes your lips cute as you read his poem or love letter.

being poe's beloved also entails being close to karl, which fills his heart with joy. karl actually likes you a lot. you enjoy cuddling and patting the little fella's head.

however, whenever karl clings to you more, it makes poe a little jealous, but it still amazes him (yet again) that you can easily read karl's thoughts with your special ability and communicate with him in the same way that he can, if not better.

scenario !

"you'll get him this time. i'm sure of it!"

poe had written yet another mystery novel to put his rival, edogawa ranpo, to the test once more. you both came to a halt in front of the office, you knocking because poe was shy, and it wasn't long before the door was opened.

"oh, it's poe-san!" atsushi exclaimed, "you must be looking for ranpo-san. come in, he's here!"

you trailed after poe as he entered the office, and that's when atsushi and the others realized he hadn't come sinply with karl.

all eyes were drawn to you at the same time. however, poe mistook it for everyone staring at him, prompting him to stick closer to your side, with karl, who was on his shoulder, transferring to yours instead, to which you responded by petting the top of karl's fluffy and soft head.

"hello and welcome! you must be poe-san's friend," atsushi said with a friendly smile, but he quickly realized how familiar you were, "hmm, but i feel like i've seen you before miss."

"huh, you're right atsushi-kun.." dazai exclaimed, blinking as he and the others stared at you.

but ranpo raised a brow them, "you guys seriously don't remember the three-way war?"

"three-way war?" kunikida tilted his head only for him to realize it, along with everyone, "!!!"

"i'm [surname] [name]. it's a pleasure to meet you, armed detective agency," you introduced yourself with a slight bow and a friendly smile.

"huh, i do remember seeing you during the guild war. as a matter of fact, we all did. you were there, saving everyone from the onslaught of the mind control ability that had gotten out of hand and rescuing civilians left and right," kunikida furrowed his brows.

"now that kunikida-san has mentioned it [name]-san, you were the one who saved me when i was being attacked while delivering the doll to dazai-san. you made me a forcefield and enhanced my speed with your psychic energy manipulation ability," atsushi recalled.

during the guild war, everyone remembered a young woman with [color] hair who had the ability to manipulate red psychic energy. although it was unclear whether the woman was on the guild's side or not, she had assisted numerous citizens and ability users during the incident. you played an important role in the yokohama incineration.

"ah, that? you guys flatter me too much! it wasn't a big deal. i just like to accompany and help out my boyfriend and people who need it with my wiggly-woos, that's all," you exclaimed, giggling and waving your fingers in the air.

with the exception of ranpo, who already knew the information, the armed detective agency members responded with a series of surprised looks and gasps.

"you're poe-san's significant other?!" atsushi proclaimed before bowing his head, "ah, i'm so sorry [name]-san! i didn't know!"

"mhm!" as you hummed and nodded in agreement, poe was shy by how everyone was reacting. poe blushed and turned away, holding your sleeve instead of your hand.

"well, that's.. certainly a big revelation.." dazai stated, blinking profusely.

"you guys are really idiots. idiots i say!" ranpo sighed, folding his arms across his chest, "how can [name]-chan not be poe-kun's significant other? just look at the way he sticks to her and holds her sleeve!"

"h-how are you the same person you were during the three-way war?" tanizaki asked, his sweat dripping as he remembered you being terrifying with the way your eyes and fingertips glowed red with power, your hair flowing in the breeze as you floated in the middle of the sky, and a serious expression on your face.

"what do you mean?" you tilted your head in confusion, laughing a little at his comment.

everyone was dumbfounded by your cluelessness, their sweat even dropping.

"i agree with you. sometimes my darling can be so clueless at how powerful and strong she can be with her ability," poe sighed, shaking his head as he handed his new manuscript to ranpo, "but regardless, i love [name]."

"heh, that's real sweet of you poe-kun," said ranpo before taking a look at his manuscript with a smile on his features.

[ author's notes ! you inspired me to take on scarlet witch! reader x bungo stray dogs characters, so don't apologize. i also think the request was good, so yeah !! i also think you're right. there isn't much bsd! poe content in here, so let me fix that for you by adding a new one on the list out here hihi. thank you so much. hope you enjoyed reading this <3 ]

[olinblogin]

Good morning! I woke to lovely piece of yours with a Yan!Mayor & Yan!LBD with a fem reader. It was a wonderful piece that didn't stretch too long but left me feeling very happy due to the lack of Mayor/LBDxReader content there is here & anywhere from what I can see. If it's not too much trouble, may I please request a reader who can actually fight back against the Yan!duo?

Maybe she gained immortality because the women of her family had witnessed the Mayor's & LBD's powers generations ago, thus building the subsequent generations after the first witness (maybe someone who also caught the two's attention but managed to escape thanks to SWK, his "you should have stayed buried" line has cemented into my head) saw what they were capable of & feared their return. Generational training & horror stories ensue. The day of the ritual arrives & Mayor comes to collect Y/N but is shocked to see her resilience against Lady's call & chains. Maybe she [Y/N] uses the chains against him & he ends up bound instead? Same with LBD (not Bai He possessed tho, pls). I really think they'd be shocked & intrigued about reader's strength & ingrained tactical knowledge added to resistance to both of them... Might be very interesting~.😈

Bonus points if Y/N says something like "I see why you use chains, Chief; you look so darling all wrapped up~!" or "That is a lovely song you sing, but I am not one for such melodies, Baigujing." [<-LBD's real name] Imagine the reactions!

Sorry for the long read, I'm just so curious to see your spin on this if you wish to write it. Thank you for reading!

P.S. Did you notice that Baigujing & Bai He have the same three-letter-start, 'Bai'???

I can absolutely do that! I’m ngl this is the longest req I’ve had before! (Not trying to be mean :])

I may or may not have taken a bit of inspiration from Naruto with this one, specifically with a “sharingan” kind of ability :3

—this is relatively short bc I didn’t know what much to do auaughhhh—

PS, the amount of times I’ve had to rewrite this bc I wanted it to be PERFECT…

(WARNINGS; SACRIFICIAL RITUAL, KIDNAPPING, IDK WHAT ELSE TO PUT BUT YEAH YOU GET IT)

Being part of a family that had gained immortality and power was not always the easiest.

All your ancestors were always present, if they hadn’t been killed.

Your family had gained partial immortality; meaning they would not die of age. But if they were, perchance, given a life threatening wound, they wouldn’t survive.

But that just made your family more careful of how they used their immortality. Every day in your extravagant home you would witness the generations before you, still walking, talking.

It would be eerie to most. But to you, it was normal.

Another good thing that came from your family with immortality, is that among the generations power grew, you being the recent generations, it was strongest for you. It wasn’t very well combat-wise; but it allowed you the ability to deflect an attack and mirror it just as it was performed.

Your family never explained how they harnessed this. But listening in as a child to your ancestors at the alter briefly mentioned a name; Baigujing.

Your family soon brought you with all cheers to the alter, they had dolled you up with traditional robes of white, holding incense sticks and sage.

It dawned on you.

Your family made a deal for immortality. A sacrificial deal. You didn’t know what to feel. You couldn’t feel anything. You were kept in the dark for so long and for what, to be sent like a lamb to the slaughter.

You had no choice but to let it happen.

How else would your family progress.

A cool most wafted around you, a feeling of floating. It was like you were weightless. When you opened your eyes, you were standing, met with two people, a man. He wore a shockingly wide grin.

“My lady will be pleased with this sacrifice. How pleasing you are.” He hummed in an unstable voice.

Chains shot from under your feet, making you reel back briefly, before honing your ability to deflect and conquer the chains, sending them the man’s way; watching as they coiled around him like snakes and held him still in front of you.

The chains were strong, stronger than any you’ve seen; they emitted a soft, ghostly glow. Joining your hands under your sleeves, you kept a blank stare. “I see why you use chains, Chief;” you muttered, watching him stiffen. “You look quite lovely being held by them.” He could hear the coo in your voice, it made him wonder how this was a possibility.

But he didn’t have the time for that, unfortunately,

As the Lady Bone Demon seemed to materialize just behind him. “And what seems to be the problem,” there was a slight sneer in her voice before she laid her eyes on you. “Ah, our sacrifice. What a beautiful one, a shame.” She’d spoke calmly, releasing the Mayor from his own chains you deflected onto him.

“Come now dear, there is no use in resisting. You were chosen to be killed in return for their immortality.” The Lady Bone Demon hummed, walking circles around you, as if she were gliding.

She tried to latch onto you with a chain of her own, letting out a shocked gasp when the chain came back her way and clamped around her wrist. “What a lovely song you sing. I’m not one for such Melodie’s, Baigujing.” There was an eerie silence.

“I see you have done your research on the two of us; but still hadn’t known your family would sacrifice you to my will.” She spoke calmly, releasing the chain from herself once more.

“My dear, how do you deflect my chains so simply,” Baigujing said with a hiss, walking towards you; that’s when you realized how tall she truly was.

“It’s something I was taught..” you would simply respond back to her. She did not seem to buy it, however. But accepted that nonetheless.

“We are taking her back with us. We will hold the family’s end of the ritual; but we are keeping her.” There was a semi-shocked “What?!” From the Mayor, before he cleared his throat and corrected himself when the Lady Bone Demon shot a pointed glare his way, it shut him up very quickly.

“Come now, my dear. Or shall we have to take you by force.” YIU could only respond with a glare. This made the Lady Bone Demon turn her nose up with a huff, before she grabbed your face and tucked you close to her body, so you would not be able to get away. “Come now, let’s start anew.”

You reeled back your elbow hit her in the rib, making her groan in disdain. The Mayor immediately leapt into action. No, literally. He leapt on top of you and held you down. Sliding his hands up your neck and into your hair, he roughly yanked it back, which earned a strained groan from you.

“That was a horrible mistake, dear. For that we will have to discipline you. Since you wish to do this the hard way, we will treat you as you’ve chosen.” Her words were eerie,

And for as long as you would fight back, the more they would break you down.

[candlefairybb]

MERMAY DOODLE-

Sorry for lack of mermay content, i busy-

Aaaaanywaysss, Y/N, or rather, You are a part of an organization that cleans the ocean! I wanna do more info abt this, but I feel like that deserves it’s own post. (Also the urge to write a Fanfiction based on this specific AU is strong VERY STRONG)

It also seems that this organization has gotten the attention of some particular mer….and their main focus is on you.

More abt this au:

Basically everyone gets their own little paddle boats, which are kinda like big surf boards but they were definitely built to be more boat like. The little shade/roof thingy can be moved or altered, it’s basically a little sail, but considering the job, it’s used more as a shade provider. Everyone gets mesh bags to clip to their belts, and then you go below the surface and collect trash, putting it in the mesh bags. Two bags for trash, and one for things the diver could determine as valuable. You come back up to your little boat, deposit what’s in your bags to buckets, boxes or a larger tighter mesh bag. When your boat is full, you return to the organization’s main boat for your team. They haul up the trash you’ve collected then you can continue collecting. The organization gets paid for cleanup, so this is basically your job. They have multiple fleets around the shore, but your team is the smallest. A small crew runs the main ship, and you and some other members run the small paddle boat fleet, collecting trash. If an area is deemed clean, then the boat will move to a new location nearby (all of which is chartered on a grid map) All the little paddle boats get raised and the swimmers will return to the main boat.

Everyday when the boat releases from the dock in the morning, a couple of swimmers will lower their paddle boats and explore through their commute or places they have cleaned already to check for anything new. If an area seems recently or majorly littered then the rest of the swimmers will deploy to help clean. If everything is all good the boat will continue to an uncleaned sanction of their map.

Your specific team isn’t just small, but it’s rather isolated from the rest of the organization. Considering every team is made up of the town they were assigned to, it makes sense your team would be small and isolated. A small coastal town is where your team is located, far from the rest of the teams. Which means a lot more attention from merfolk gets put on your team than on other teams in the organization.

It also means y’all get paid a lot to clean up after town events or major celebrations that are held near the shore, on docks, or out on boats. You can afford to live comfortably while doing something you love.

Anywaysssss- yeah I really want to write a fanfiction for this but like idk if anyone is gonna read that-

Anyways lots of tags

UPDATE

tis’ official 😌

[coconox]

late night thought but im wondering if the reason pb added a shirt to victory mammon is purely for the adore feature (specifically the undressing part). like based on his card art the sport appears to be swimming, a sport that very much does not make you wear a shirt (or accessories for that matter that necklace is gonna get him dq'ed) LOL. only times you would wear clothing is in btwn swim events to keep yourself warm, but thats assuming the meet in general is gonna take up like half your day

this may just also be just the low quality visual but the outfit for the victory card is almost identical to his attacker card?, only difference is that he would be wearing a jammer (yes thats the official term for competitive swimsuits for men lol) rather than nothing 💀💀

idk i might be getting kinda getting nit picky but i would like to see smth like his butt card again, where the undressing feature just progressively removes his underwear, tho instead of underwear itd be his jammer lol

also shouldve gave him a speedo,,,, just sayin 😶

i think i could kinda understand that bc mammon quite literally has very little clothing to begin w (whole upper half being exposed essentially etc etc), itd be kinda hard to stick w that style of him while also including the spicy parts aka making him naked straight up lmao,, but just throwing on an unbuttoned shirt is going to get a bit redundant?

like lets take the victory card for example. if we want to hypothetically alter it so that there is more clothing we can do that by him wearing a loose shirt + jacket w designs for tartaros or whatev team he'll be on when competing (emphasis on loose, ik mammons whole thing is huge bongos that make most clothing fight for their lives but i do genuinely want to see him in smth thatd look more comfy cozy like his normal outfit) and then keep his jammers exposed aka no pants lol. accessories id tbh remove the necklace and instead of him holding the goggles (from what i can tell in the very little pixels in his card art) he would have them over his head (it is very much possible for him to wear goggles lol he just needs to take extra steps to put them on given his horn)

idk tbh it kinda sucks that his butt card is the only one where he is 95% naked from the getgo, like no accessories or whatever, just him in his underwear lol. i wish victory mammon was just him wearing the jammer and goggles, but oh well 💀

will this make any sense? ofc not i see the sun rising from the corner of my eye while writing this i have NOT had my eepy time yet LMAO. i also ranted a bit more than i expected LOL this is what happens when i rant abt a sport i love/hate and a blorbo i cherish w all my being. tho honestly im just dissecting every mammon crumb we get considering the lack of story updates + official mammon content in general

[rinmemesuoka]

I may make a more detailed post about this later but if you want to do some dialogue Alteration (not Addition, that's getting into coding and I don't know how to do that with Mistria rn) with Fields of Mistria it is a mostly simple process.

If you go into the Steam common files for Mistria, you'll find a file named Localization.JSON. All of the dialogue in Fields of Mistria is located in that file. I recommend making a Copy to do any editing on, and not directly editing the JSON file that is in the directory. You may also want to save a backup of the original file.

Once you have your copy of localization.JSON (saved outside of the directory), you can open it using a program called Notepad++, which can be downloaded here: https://notepad-plus-plus.org/

You may be familiar with it already if you've ever modded Stardew Valley dialogue. Maybe. It's been a while since I've modded Stardew myself idk what tools y'all are using now.

So, the main issue you're going to run into when you open the JSON in Notepad++ is that all of the text is on one line. I don't have a solution to that besides turning on text wrap in the View settings in Notepad++. I didn't want to risk messing anything up by inserting linebreaks and I don't know if it would display differently in another editing program.

The text being all one one line makes it difficult to parse for specific dialogue unless you know what you're looking for. Since I was editing to change March's pronouns and some other gendered language referring to March, i used Control + F and searched March because most use of pronouns to refer to a character will follow that character being referred to by name.

One thing to look out for is that some continuous conversations are written in the JSON "backwards". That is, response B to statement A will appear Before statement A in the line. So you may have to backtrack a little.

Once you have made and saved your edits, you can copy and paste your new Localization.JSON into the Mistria file directory, replacing the existing file. I recommend keeping a copy of your edited Localization.JSON outside of the directpry as well, so you can make edits on the fly if you notice, during gameplay, that you missed a spot. You can then save that file and paste it into the directory after you're done playing, without needing to close the game to make edits.

(For example, the Localization.json file I was using to modify dialogue related to March had already been modified by another modder to give Ryis they/them pronouns, and I noticed a few lines in their two heart cutscene that had been missed, so I corrected that.)

Right now, there's not really an easy way to update an edited Localization.json as the game updates, so you may have to start over when the devs add new content to Localization.JSON. Depending on how intensive the edit you want to make is, it may be worth waiting for the game to leave early access first.

[prettyrealm]

i love ur blog fr… one of my least favorite things about the tarot community (not just kpop) is how some people alter or water down their readings (or just aren’t perceptive enough) so that their content is more positive and validating for consumability… and the people who choose to be honest and direct get ate up 😭 divination can be harsh. idk why people are here expecting validation or only positive things. most of these idols are not nice!!

if you want a romantic story and enjoy living in denial, go to ao3!! wattpad or something?? y’all are looking for fanfiction. there are soooo many writing blogs on this site.

and i also have soooo much beef with like, pop culture tarot readings on youtube and tiktok that are clearlyyyyyy not too good in quality, but people eat it up blindly because it tells them things that they like to hear and never anything critical. i have a theory about that being one of the reasons why people assume honest readers have bad intentions or are hating on people. i don’t think people realize just how common it is to read on someone and get the vibe that they’re shitty in some capacity, or not even having to rely on intuition and to be directly told that there is something off about someone. idols aren’t usually any better than the average person, and the average person usually has bad traits. period. some are worse than the average person.

also… i have a problem with how it’s seen as perfectly fine to share the positive traits we’re able to pick up on through tarot, but sharing the negatives is seen as invasive?? like girl either it’s all invasive or none of it lmaooo. you’re okay consuming content that makes you feel like you’d be attractive to someone or reading about what their personality is like, but it’s too much when that same person says that they’d potentially be a bigot or have issues with stuff like anger? that’s when it’s too much??? 😭😭

Thank you so much for stopping by to show love!! I really appreciate your perspective and agree with pretty much everything you’ve said. 🩷

People were shocked by @dreamofmetoday and l’s ideal type readings being so specific and descriptive and we didn’t get why until we tapped in with other peoples readings and realized most are just saying very vague things or just things that EVERYONE is looking for in a partner (for example, kind, sympathetic, loyal) or just things that make it easy to self-insert in general. I think the self-insert aspect is a main reason people put such an emphasis on only focusing on the positive.

I also get asks demanding I tell them how I get such specific and detailed answers when it comes to things like homophobia/race/misogyny whatever, and it’s like, that’s just how it works? Makes me wish more people would get into tarot themselves so they could see.

The “romantic love story” crossover stuff that you mentioned is why I think you’ll often come across readings, and even PACs, on here that are like a wattpad story. like you said, many readers know there’s a large audience for this. For example when it comes to PACs, 3 pile PACs are a very quick and easy way to get followers and likes, but overall don’t exert a lot of energy and limit the amount of people who can actually connect with the PAC but then each pile will be filled with nuance, details and specifics and the reader is able to just say, “take what resonates and leave what doesn’t” to get away with it. How is someone even supposed to know what truly resonates and what doesn’t for a future spouse reading anyway? Not to mention, how can these readers suddenly get so much detail for a random pac and then not in their other readings or personal readings? There’s just a lot of predatory behavior in the tarot community unfortunately (thank you to melody’s anon for helping us label this finally too), and in turn, it creates a huge misunderstanding of what to expect from readings when you know nothing about tarot.

Not saying all 3 pile PACs are bad of course btw, because that would be ridiculous. There are of course situations where the 3 pile format makes sense, but a lot of them on here are just baiting.

In regards to positives being welcomed with open arms and negatives being considered invasive, it’s literally just nonsensical and honestly, a little weird (often the result of fetishization or idolization etc. so to say this under the pretense of high morals is odd… to say the least). I’ve seen people say things like “who are readers to decide what’s a negative?” when that’s literally not the case, it’s not a case of the reader “deciding” anything, I’m literally asking specifically about the negative traits. It makes me wonder what questions other readers are actually asking in the first place to even come to the conclusion that we would assigning these traits ourselves. Or the argument that “humans are multifaceted so we shouldn’t assign them blah blah blah” like… yeah… duh they’re multifaceted, which is why there’s literally a positives section? It just seems like they reach for excuses to defend their main point that the negatives of these men’s personalities just shouldn’t be acknowledged. It almost makes me feel like some people make these blogs to even improve their idols overall image on a smaller scale or have more control of the perception of it.

I really LOVE how you said “it’s either all invasive or none of it is” because that’s something Melody and I talk about together all the time. Their love lives and “kinks” aren’t invasive topics, but everything that could ruin someone’s fantasy about an idol is. In the end, you’re only allowed to post readings that let you daydream about being their best friend, boyfriend or girlfriend with no complications or obstacles I guess lol. Thanks again for sending this ask! It was really cool to unpack this and see that there’s a reader/follower on the same page. 🩷

[waywardsalt]

how much does sonia matter to the story of totk

sonia... is certainly a character in totk, but right now i want to take a look at her appearances within the story and see just how much of an effect she actually has on the narrative of this game. i will only be looking at memories and actual story beats, things such as those floating tablets (idk what they're called i never bothered with them) will be omitted because they are entirely optional content and have nothing to do with the actual story, i'm only considering the memories and present events that most players intending to experience the full base story will see. (i'm not even sure if the floating tablets have anything story-relevant in them, anyways, from what ive seen its just world-building and little character moments.)

it's worth noting that i do like sonia, and i don't particularly think she's a bad character; i enjoyed her, but it's questionable just how relevant as a character she is to the story. i also have a generally negative opinion of totk and its story, so that might alter the way i think about this game and it's story. feel free to take what i say here with a grain or two of salt.

spoilers for a fair bit of totk ig

(post is extremely long yknow how it is 2,581 words under the cut)

sonia is definitely present for the story in the past; she is a comforting presence for zelda and a supporter of rauru. she has power over time (recall, i suppose), and is the queen of the hyrule that rauru has founded, and was formerly a priestess before meeting rauru.

before really starting, i want to bring up that the first time the public got to see sonia was in the 3rd trailer; specifically it is where memory 6 is edited, specifically making it appear that sonia, with her hand outstretched and glowing, is the one therefore shooting the beam of light in the very next cut. in reality, in the actual scene, rauru is the one shooting that beam, but i want to keep this specific edit made in the final trailer in mind, since i want to talk a little bit more about sonia's presence in the story in general at the end, because, again, i personally like her, and am admittedly frustrated with how the game and its story ends up using her.

i consider a character to matter to a story when they do something that impacts or helps move it along. for example, despite being very non-characters, i would consider the old sages to be important as they provide exposition directly to link and the new sage as well as bestow upon them their blessing and their secret stone. they have some kind of effect on the story and other characters and carry out a specific role. if you erased the old sages, you would be missing characters that provide more information to the new sages and properly mark them as their successors in the present. even though they aren't really fleshed out in any sort of way, the old sages play an important role in the central plot of the story. the story needed them to play their specific role in order for the game to progress and for the narrative to continue as intended. they do something to shape the path that the narrative takes, they have an effect.

sonia is a character who technically only ever appears in the memories. i'm completely ignoring her appearing after the final boss simply because she has no dialogue at all and its really nebulous what she and rauru even do. worth noting that she is not alone in that scene; rauru is present with her.

sonia is introduced in memory 3 and then is killed in memory 9, i'm also ignoring her, uh, cadaver in memory 10 for obvious reasons. sonia is therefore active in the world of the past for 7 memories out of the total 15 that take place in the past. sonia is alive for less than half of the memories. furthermore, of those 7, sonia only actually appears in 6 of them, memories 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, and 9, and has dialogue in memories 3, 4, 8, and 9, barely over a fourth of those memories.

noting when she appears and when she speaks is important, since because of the fragmented nature of the past memories, character dialogue is very important in knowing what they do and what information they impart. sonia has a purpose in the memories where she doesn't speak, but i'll get to those after looking at the ones where she does speak.

what sonia does in memory 3: she is the first to approach zelda and her touch is what wakes zelda up. sonia is much gentler with zelda, giving her her name and reassuring her that she is safe.

what sonia does in memory 4: she's mentioned by rauru to have a secret stone and likely used as the example of a secret stone holder due to her own time powers. sonia is the one who says that zelda has both light and time powers, and also says that she can also somehow tell that she and zelda and blood related. sonia nudges rauru for (i think) being a bit cold, and is once again the one to comfort zelda and provides her with a place in the past. she is gentle and patient with zelda.

what sonia does in memory 6: she has no dialogue, but is present to... i'm not sure what she and zelda do here, but i'll say that sonia is supporting rauru's magic with her own. she prompts zelda to join her, and reacts to zelda's magic, telling us that zelda is unusually powerful by comparison.

what sonia does in memory 7: she does absolutely nothing other than be specifically noted by ganondorf for having a secret stone as well as being a hylian woman that rauru took as his wife, and smiles comfortingly at zelda.

what sonia does in memory 8: she recalls a cup that zelda knocks over (the only the we see her use time powers), inquires about zelda's well-being, gives an explanation on how zelda could learn to use her time powers (as well as this being somewhat of an explanation of how recall generally works?), shes comforting again and brings up zelda's light powers, and is the one to bring up link.

what sonia does in memory 9: before the memory, she agrees to meet with the fake zelda (knowing that it is truly not zelda) and clearly planned with the real zelda to confront it. she is the one to point out that the fake zelda is... fake, and controlled by ganondorf, and then is killed after fake zelda disappears.

sonia, from then on, is not present in any future memories, and only ever makes an appearance in the present at the very end with rauru.

so. how much does sonia matter to the story?

she definitely matters as a supporter of zelda and as the one to truly help her feel comfortable in the past and gives guidance about her powers. she's the queen of this ancient hyrule and rauru's wife and a holder of a secret stone. these have relevancy to the narrative, but they don't mean anything in the long run unless they actually effect the plot. she supports zelda, but it doesn't really change anything major, just helps her feel comfortable until things come crashing down again. she helps zelda harness her time powers, which we really only see zelda use against ganondorf and presumably to collect the master sword (and considering that her time powers never show up again, i guess zelda transfers them to link), but zelda is already shown to have great power from the start, and we never actually see zelda training or even struggling to use those powers, she just talks about not quite understanding them, and the first time she uses them she clearly has great control.

sonia conveys the information that zelda has time and light powers, and that zelda is related to sonia and rauru, both of which are fairly important, but sonia saying zelda has these powers merely spells it out for us, it doesn't affect anything about those powers, and zelda being related to sonia and rauru does nothing except explain the origins of her powers. she brings up link in front of rauru, but rauru could've easily learned about link any other way, most notably from zelda herself, so sonia bringing this up just changes when rauru learns about link.

through memory 6 we learn that zelda is, in fact, especially powerful specifically because she is being compared to sonia, who expresses surprise, though, again, this changes nothing, it merely brings attention to something already present.

sonia is suggested to have caught on to the fake zelda's ploy and we can assume that she had a hand in setting up the 'trap' that she and zelda spring on it. she implies that she, while knowing, agreed to meet with it and set this trap with zelda. after fake zelda disappears, she is then killed and removed from the story, though her death motivates zelda and rauru and marks the shift from a tense peace to outright war with ganondorf, and her death is what allows ganondorf to get his hands on a secret stone.

in a sense, sonia does matter to the story. she conveys information for the player and for other characters' benefits, she is an important person in the world of the past, and her death is a major turning point. but... at the same time, sonia does not really matter to the story.

she conveys information that doesn't really change the course of the story. her biggest decided-upon action was done off screen and with supposed help from zelda (and perhaps even rauru) and the biggest impact she makes, the one thing concerning her that actually causes things to move along or change in the course of the story, is her death. a character's death doesnt necessarily mean that from then on they are no longer important to the story, but with sonia, she is completely out of the picture. she motivates zelda and rauru, yes, but that's not exactly the same as mattering to the story. either way, if ganondorf declares war after stealing a secret stone, zelda and rauru are going to fight back with the sages.

sonia's death matters to the story. sonia herself does not matter to the story.

sonia doesn't do anything. she talks, conveys information, comforts zelda and gives her little pointers, but not once do we see her do anything that matters in the greater narrative. nothing she does in the past has any relevancy to the gameplay the players experience, or the side of the story that concerns link. she doesn't play a role that further aids our protagonists asides from maybe helping zelda learn to use her time powers. any information she conveys could have been learned through other means, or otherwise wasn't actually important to the events of the plot.

the most we really see her do is lure out fake zelda, but even then, zelda is the one to actually act in retaliation of the attack, and the most sonia does in that one scene, aside from convey more information, is die. and it's the only thing she does that actually causes a development in the plot or matters in general.

in addition to this, sonia does not do anything alone. she is always related to another character: she comforts zelda, she's rauru's wife and queen, ganondorf kills her, she and zelda corner fake zelda, she supports zelda and rauru. nothing she does she does on her own, there is always another character involved, she plays an extremely supportive role and does absolutely nothing outside of that. she exists to give the players information, she exists to support and motivate zelda and rauru, she exists as a character for ganondorf to kill to prove his evil and steal a secret stone. she is not an independent character within totk's story. she doesn't matter to the story as a character because she is barely even considered an independent character within that story.

when we see her at the end, the one time she is relevant to the present, she appears with rauru.

you could remove sonia from the story and swap her out with just having her secret stone hanging around the castle somewhere and the major events of the story would not change. sonia being the queen and rauru's wife only matters because then her death can motivate rauru, and by extension, the kingdom. sonia being so tender with zelda only matters because then her death motivates zelda. sonia having time powers and being related to zelda only matters to explain why zelda has time powers at all. these qualities do not matter outside of these characters that she is always shown with. the only thing about sonia that matters to the narrative is her death.

and. i don't dislike sonia! i like her! i think she's a good character, she has a personality and manages to be likeable even though she is always attached to a separate character! but she has no effect on the present and doesn't do anything that is relevant to any plot points. and it's so frustrating to see!

she's a major character in the past, and yet is hardly important, has four scenes total where she speaks, and dying is the most important thing we ever see her do. the only effect she has on the present is that the secret stone that ganondorf has was stolen directly from her.

it's just... frustrating to see yet another female character exist mostly just to die and motivate other characters, to see a major female character's only defining traits be that she is kind and nurturing and motherly and you never see anything beyond that.

and i come back to the game's third trailer.

just with the fact that sonia is shoved in a corner and is yet another female character that does not exist independent of others in this story, that we see her use her unique power exactly once to rewind a teacup, that's enough to frustrate me. sonia could've been a much more important and impactful character, but the most important thing concerning her is her death, and not even in a 'haunts the narrative' kind of way- she dies, motivates others, and is never brought up again.

and yet, in the third trailer of the game, memory 6 is cut up and presented in such a way that implies this at-the-time mystery female character had shot that beam of light, and that she would therefore be a powerful character. nothing is done without a reason in fiction, and this applies to game trailers.

i just don't understand why sonia was framed in such a deceitful way in that trailer. i can understand misdirection for the sake of avoiding spoilers, but... when it comes to characters like sonia, who in reality have very little impact on the narrative in this way, it just feels... almost a little devious, and it's so frustrating to watch that part of the trailer that teased a powerful female character (not a new concept for the zelda series, either!!!) and then, when the game rolls around, all of a sudden not only is she not the one with that power, but she is merely supporting the male character with that power.

there's absolutely a whole thing that can be said about female versus male characters in media and video games just with contrasting that part of the third trailer versus the actual in-game scene.

and i just can't help but feel bad for sonia after all of this, a character who could've been an important figure in totk's narrative, who just ended up being a character defined by the moment they stop being relevant.

so... yeah. sonia doesn't really matter to the story of totk, and it's in a really frustrating way. though i have a generally negative and almost spiteful attitude towards totk, none of that spite or anger is directed at sonia- i really wish she had a better role in the story, and i think she honestly deserves it and i don't think anyone is at fault for being fooling into thinking she would be this important and powerful figure. there's serious potential just with the pieces the story does give us! it's just all squandered to make her exist for the sake of other characters.

this might've gotten a bit off-track from that i wanted to say at the start, but... unfortunately, sonia as a character doesn't really matter to the story of totk, and i really wish that she did.

[valcksys]

source separation

(And my journey with it, all under the cut!)

I thought I’d write a long ranty post about source separation, since I’m an alter who’s gone through it (mostly). I just want to get my experiences out there and possibly help some other alters who might be struggling with this topic understand it more or, whatever.

So let’s start with Introductions! I’m Samantha, but I usually go with just Sam. I’m a factional introject of an ow esports player named S9mm. I use she/her pronouns and identify as a trans woman. (This will be important later.)

I first formed around June last year, so I’ve been around for a bit. When I first started getting my bearings, I was terrified! I mean, I’d been ripped away from my life (which was quite good most of the time!) and now I was stuck here, in a new body, alone. In a pretty abusive environment. Not fun at all!

My first reaction to all of this was escape. Which is to say I was so deep in wanting to be back in my source, and wanting to have my body and face and life back that I couldn’t focus on living the one I’m in right now. Whenever I fronted I was fucking miserable. All I could think about was my “past”. To me, this is an example of being unhealthily attached to your source. If it’s getting in the way of enjoying your current life or focusing on it then that’s not good!

I had a long chat with another alter, who’d been in the system for a while and went through that same deal. And the first thing they told me was to stop interacting with anything related to my source. Just find out who you are. Minus the source. Minus the premade personality and form you came with. Once you’ve found it, you can start to merge the two together. Finding you while still identifying with your source is possible. There’s just a delicate balance that I was definitely not balancing well.

And this is what I did for a while, I stopped watching OWL games, I stopped playing Overwatch, and I focused more on the things going on around me. I started trying new things. I learned stuff about myself! And it was nice. I’ve picked up art as a hobby, I love drawing. I also enjoy other video games, particularly roguelikes and rpgs which I never thought I would’ve liked. If I hadn’t ever let go partly of my source and who I’m “supposed” to be, I wouldn’t’ve ever discovered those things. During this period I also began realizing I might be a trans woman. (Source is a Cis male.) For a while I rejected it, still having that feeling in the back of my mind that it’s wrong because my source is a cis man. As well as all of the more typical woes that come with transness. (Which I’m going to assume nearly everyone reading this understands.)

Once I took that break, and found myself, I realized that life didn’t feel as. Well frankly, ASS, anymore. I wasn’t constantly dissociating, wishing I was “home” or the like. Home was here now, and I began to accept it. I participated more in our daily life.

After I did accept that I’m a trans woman, and that I’m Samantha, not S9mm, I was able to then reconnect with my source in a healthy way. I could watch content from my source and enjoy it without feeling like shit, I could play Overwatch and enjoy that without feeling like shit.

The point of me typing all this out really, is that there’s always a DEGREE of source separation that is healthy, and should be encouraged. But you don’t have to completely detach from your source.

I mean, my name is still Sam. I still look like my source in the headspace. (Kinda, I’m just more girly now lol.) I still refer to my pseudomemories and make jokes about my source and enjoy my source.

You can definitely have both!

Anyway rant’s over I hope this helps someone or something idk.