#im going to sleep for five billion years

[memeticsdivision]

revenge for @filurig !

[ilexdiapason]

@transfemoliorionsound ok i couldnt find it so im going to rewrite it for you:

the Oli TheOrionSound Would Be A Terrible Father AU

ok so the story begins way back on trollcraft a billion years ago, who's counting at this point, certainly not oli. more importantly it's about a dozen servers ago; oli makes a habit out of hopping from world to world whenever he gets bored of the last one, which is often.

more importantly, on trollcraft he was 21, young and stupid and willing to do stupid things like go out with beautiful women named angela who turn out to be more than a bit obsessed with chickens. (maybe she was half chicken herself? oli didn't stop to ask.) and they spent a wonderful night together, but then she ended up being crazy, so he dipped, and then there was all this business with the mini-mes that basically took his mind off the whole thing. he got bored, he bounced, he took a bit of a sabbatical sleeping on callum and lizzie's sofas before he settled into funcraft, all's well that ends well.

flash forward to empires smp.

oli has been making a tidy little career for himself as a bard, if you ignore the crippling debt! he's got a beach, he's got a tent, he's working on his new album, things are pretty good.

until.

one day there is a knock on his door.

well, he doesn't have a door. instead there is a woman yelling for him from outside his tent. this, quite rudely, wakes him up from his lovely nap.

the woman in question turns out to have a very familiar face. and so does the boy standing next to her.

it turns out that - whoopsie - your actions have consequences, and when oli thought it was all fun and games messing about with angela, she actually ended up pregnant.

enter tommy, who's fourteen, apparently. angela has been trying to find him to make him pay his child support for that amount of time, but oli's just so good at skipping town that she hadn't managed it till now. (oli doesn't ask how the kid is fourteen if trollcraft was only seven years ago - time dilation can get funky between worlds. joel and lizzie have been married about five different times, it's fine.)

except, obviously, oli's in enough debt as it is, he can't also pay child support.

so angela huffs, and shoves tommy into taking a step forward, and then walks away.

... obviously oli has no fucking clue what to do with a child. he's never been a dad and quite frankly he was never planning on it - but tommy is, uncomfortably, a lot like him, only he's about a quarter chicken, which he keeps referring to as making him Slightly Above Average.

he doesn't want to just leave a child alone in the middle of empires, though, so he does the only thing he can think to do and boats the boy directly down the coast to bring to sausage.

except sausage also doesn't know how to take care of an unexpected teenager, because "hermes is nine, oli" or whatever. so now they have to figure out what to do with this boy, and get him back where he belongs - or at least get him somewhere he belongs - before he manages to eat something poisonous, which he's clearly trying his hardest to do the second oli turns his back, jesus christ, was i really like this?

and THATS the au :D

[earth2068]

hey so if i'm remembering correctly you said once on the discord that e2068 was originally a homestuck fansession idea- if you don't mind what were the characters' classpects and were they derse or prospit dreamers before this became... not a homestuck?

ok before i answer this question im gonna need everyone to abandon any concept of cringe culture still lingering in their hearts. find the part of you that says "homestuck is cringe" and just turn it off for the next 10 minutes. done? alright.

so yeah as ive admitted before on discord, the cast of earth 2068 originated from a homestuck fansession* i developed when i was a kid, first when i was 9 then reworked when i was 12. im specifying my age at the time so you understand how deep-rooted this is.

*a fansession is when you write a story in which ur ocs play the game that the plot of homestuck revolves around. its pretty fun! you develop the kind of planet theyd have, their classpects, etc, good character building exercise imo

the pre-scratch** session was composed of the 5 ARACHNID members, flynn, vermillion, violet, lucille and viridian (screw homestuck naming conventions theyre stupid), with the post-scratch** session having leon, phil, jordan, and two characters who would eventually be combined with each other when i wasnt looking to become daniya.

**dont ask what a scratch is, it basically means everyones parents get to be teenagers and play the game in a different timeline.

every session ive seen written has an even number of players, so theyd be evenly divided between derse and prospit***. i, however, had five players in each session, so either one kingdom would have more players than the other, or i had to contrive some alternative. i ended up developing a third moon kingdom for the odd player out called vidium that was teal and kinda depressing. i BROKE homestuck rules for my Original Moon Kingdom Do Not Steal.

***depending on a characters personality they would wake up on one of two magical moon kingdoms when they go to sleep, either the purple and spooky derse, or the gold and fun prospit

i actually, on occasion, write an earth 2068 au in a series of google docs in which the characters get to play the session i planned for them all those years ago, which is entirely self-indulgent and only something i work on when im tremendously bored. i dont think ill be sharing it but if i do it will only be when people stop making fun of me for liking a webcomic when i was 9 years old

and now, what youve all been waiting for, the classpects of each character- under the cut bc Long

preface: these have changed a lot since i was 9. ill be giving the current classpects ive assigned them, the same ones i use for the session i write currently when im bored. ill let you know which ones have stayed the same.

ALSO- no one who analyzes classpects agrees what each class means, because very few of them were confirmed in canon! these are all dependent on my personal interpretations, which i believe are backed by canon, but people will disagree with me on a few of these and thats ok. just please shut up about it.

FLYNN - rogue of time; prospit dreamer ("but time players are always on derse-" shut up! <3). time is the aspect of, you know, time, as well as other things, mainly death, destruction and entropy. a rogue is a passive(+) class- one who steals their aspect or steals WITH their aspect, strictly for the benefit of others. so flynn is one who steals time, or steals with time. in the very first chapter, flynn steals exotic matter, a substance specifically used for the purpose of time travel, and gives it to vermillion, the one who needs it. his role in the "operation" hinges on being able to sway the timeline to save ten billion lives- stealing time (death/destruction) with time (time travel). and on a fundamental level, flynn is a person who will always, no matter what, protect the people who need protecting from those who would harm them.

VERMILLION - mage of mind; derse dreamer. mind is the aspect of decisions and their consequences; the general concept of causality. a mage is an active(-) class, one who is gifted/inflicted with knowledge of their aspect, and due to the type of person they are, keeps that knowledge to themselves, to carry that burden so no one else has to. so a mage of mind is someone with a great understanding of causality- being the one plotting an operation to save the world via time travel requires the ability to predict the decisions other people will make, and the consequences theyll have, and this is a skill we see vermillion utilize a lot in the story (mostly in parts we havent gotten to). theyre the one who comes up with the plan, who decides what everyone else will be doing, and how that will help them, without needing to explain themselves. theyre a leader, but a difficult one, who doesnt intend on seeking feedback. verms main problem is how their emotions and insecurity in their sense of self cloud their judgement, and with heart being the aspect of emotion and the self and the antithesis to the mind aspect, it makes sense that a mind players biggest problem would be their heart.

LEON - knight of hope; prospit dreamer. hope is the aspect of positive emotion, as well as optimism and belief. in the right hands, its one of the strongest aspects. a knight is an active(-) class, one who equips themselves with their aspect in order to weaponize it. on two separate occasions, weve seen leon experience extreme anxiety or anger before immediately covering it up to appease phil; he throws up a mask to protect himself and the people he loves. this is weaponizing hope, equipping himself with his ability to see the best in a situation, and put on a happy face to keep things stable. hes a theatre major, and puts those acting skills to use whenever he can. its easy to see this as an unhealthy classpect, and it sort of is, but its real strength comes from how leon is at his most powerful, most influential, when hes guided by his love for other people, and his belief in his own ability. this is one of the few classpects that has stayed the same since leons creation!

PHIL - thief of heart; derse dreamer. as i mentioned earlier, heart is the aspect of emotions and the self. meanwhile, a thief is the active(-) counterpart to the rogue, so while the rogue steals for the sake of others, the thief steals for the sake of themselves. in multiple ways, phil steals facets of other peoples identities and emotions for himself- he steals data from peoples devices, he forces leon to kiss him (stealing leons autonomy, not allowing him to express his feelings on the matter beforehand, to enforce his own desires and emotions), he creates a dynamic with leon where he cant express what hes truly wanting or feeling, he [CHAPTER 4 SPOILERS], [CHAPTER 6 SPOILERS], etc. phils emotions and identity are such powerful forces that those of others get trampled over, stolen for himself. this doesnt make him ontologically evil, its possible that he could use this for good, if only he could just point his black hole of a personality in the right direction, and learn to turn down his ego most of the time.

JORDAN - heir of space; vidium dreamer (odd player out). space is the antithesis to time. its the aspect of, you know, space, the physical universe and its spacial dimensions, but also of creation. the heir is passive(+), and a bit of a complicated class, that boils down to inviting change in their aspect, or inviting change THROUGH their aspect. as an heir of space, jordan invites change in or through creation. theyre a creator, a roboticist, but also a collaborator with phil, so her influence isnt as direct. they thrive in a guiding position, where she doesnt have unilateral control, but has power in their ideas and words. jordan is a very good leader in a creative setting who has yet to realize this about herself.

LUCILLE - witch of light; prospit dreamer ("lucille cant be a light player she doesnt talk a lot-" shut up! <3). lucilles classpect manifests mostly in her position as the "girl in the chair." shes a witch, the active(-) counterpart to the heir, which has the ability to directly change their aspect, or bring change through it. light is the aspect of knowledge/information, fortune, and "the spotlight," and in her position in the team, lucille manages the information passed between the team, and can change who knows what with a single click. her classpect makes her someone who changes light, or brings change through it. for example, she turned fortune in the chapter 2 pleapods fight in flynns favor by imparting Gun Knowledge onto him. shes a person who helps mainly by knowing who needs to have what information. also, this is the second of the classpects that have stayed the same!

VIOLET - maid of blood; derse dreamer. blood is the aspect of bonds, friendships, ties, etc. a maid is an active(-) class, which focuses on creating and maintaining their aspect ("thats not what i think a maid is-" shuuuuut uuuuuuuup! <3). so a maid of blood is someone who creates and maintains bonds between people. this is pretty spot on for violet! we see more of this with her character later, but within the group, she has the most emotional intelligence, and is very good at resolving tension within the group and dealing with interpersonal issues. and between her and viridian, who do you think was responsible for befriending vermillion, thus creating the friend group? violet is the glue that keeps the team together.

VIRIDIAN - page of void; vidium dreamer (odd player out). void is the most fascinating aspect to me- its the antithesis to light, and is the aspect of nothingness, of secrets, uncertainty, the unknown, and irrelevance. also pumpkins. and pages are the passive(+) counterpart to the knight, so the knight equips themselves with their aspect to weaponize it, and the page equips others with their aspect. pages are by far the weakest class initially, but after a long journey of self-discovery, can unlock the greatest potential within themselves, surpassing every other class in sheer power. viridian is a confusing person that few can truly understand. he knows who he is, and is very sure of himself, but others, not so much. he has this way of barely reacting to anything that makes everything around him seem insignificant. he even specializes in quantum mechanics, a field of science literally built around not being able to know things. his greatest strength is this bubble of void surrounding him, but never swallowing him. he equips everything around him with void, but barely ever has it himself

[goldengoddess]

get to know me!

thank you for tagging me b @chasingpj <3333 i made it into a new post as well cause the thread was long + yall should get to know me! feel free to ask me other questions in my ask as well 

name/nickname: on here im just june!

gender: female

star sign: my sun sign is pisces

height: 5′5

time: 8:09

birthday: march 13th

favourite bands: five seconds of summer and BETWEEN FRIENDS,,, im not a big band listener oops

favourite solo artists: jon bellion, olivia rodrigo, laufey, hozier, taylor swift

song stuck in my head: the music from jeopardy LMAO

last show: currently watching new amsterdam and greys anatomy

last movie: captain america: the winter soldier

when did i create this blog: uhh like a billion years ago but i started using is alot in april

what do i post: absolute fluff for all of ur favourite grishaverse characters and how much im crushing on my fantastic mutuals

last thing i googled: summary of gene expression (im studying for bio rn fuck)

other blogs: nope!

do i get asks: all the time! but i’d love to hear more from yall :)

why i chose my url: uhhh i wanted something pjo without being too obvious (i used to be mainly pjo) but i kind of hate it and ive been thinking of changing it

following: 41

followers: 667

average hours of sleep: like six hours???? depends on if im reading something good

lucky number: 13

instruments: i played the guitar for 1 month and never again

what im wearing: my schools sweatpants, a tanktop, and a cardigan and my very sexy glasses

dream trip: GREECE I WANT TO GO SO BAD I HAVE A WHOLE TRIP PLANNED OUT

favourite food: empanadas

nationality: originally argentine, but im a united states and spanish citizen as well!

favourite song: atm its favorite crime by olivia rodrigo

top 3 fictional universes i’d like to be in: riordanverse omg so bad, and grishaverse and marvel (pls lord let me exist in the mcu)

[twordytings]

Christmas Chronicles

Word Count: 2,148

Ah... Christmas Eve... the day before Christmas but also the most tempting day to peek at presents. Well, maybe just for you.

AN~ MERRY CHRISTMAS!! I don’t even celebrate but I just wanted to give a lil gift for everyone who’s taken the time to follow me, like any of my posts, or just shown any kind of support towards me or my blog. I came into this not expecting even half of the love that I’ve gotten, and I just wanted to say thank you so much. Hope you enjoy the fic:))

It was the morning of Christmas Eve, and all of the Avengers were gathered at the compound to finally take a bit of a break. None of them were planning on celebrating the holidays; it was something they didn’t think was important, not to mention there was never any motivation to celebrate. But being Peter’s best friend and all, you were practically family to all of them, and you were gonna make sure they celebrated Christmas if it was the last thing you did. So, as you sat on the living room couch, snuggled up with a blanket, you had a tender feeling inside of you knowing that all these Christmas decorations and the giant Christmas tree (not to mention the plethora of presents underneath) in the corner of the room were up because of you. Light shining ever so bright into the room making it feel so cozy, even though it was bitterly cold outside.

Natasha came into the room looking confused as ever, “Y/n, have you seen the wrapping paper with all those kittens on it? I’ve been looking everywhere but I can’t find it.” You were so surprised that Natasha, of everybody would be celebrating the holidays, but you weren’t complaining.

“Umm it’s probably in the storage room next to the elevator.”

“Ok thanks!” and she was off.

Just then Steve barged in. “Y/n. Where. Are. The bows. You know, the sticky ones that you can just slap on and call it a day?”

“They’re definitely in the attic.” It was Steve, so of course you had to mess with him a bit.

“Cool. Thanks.” Right about when Steve left, Tony came in. (With his Santa onesie on, of course)

“Let me guess, you either need wrapping paper, bows, or ribbon.”

“Nope. Just a cup of coffee.”

“Thank go-“ just then there was a loud crash.

“WHAT WAS THAT!?”

“Just Steve.” you said with a chuckle.

“Oh ok. For a second there I thought it was someone important.”

You were both laughing your heads off as Steve came in walking heavy like a giant, covered head to toe in dust and debris.

“They weren’t... in... the attic” Steve said with a furious look on his face.

You threw a pillow at him as a form of defense, but obviously he didn’t find it funny since all he did was catch it and throw it beside him. You got another one ready to throw at him but before you could he said, “Throw a pillow at me again and see what happens.” You immediately put your hands up in surrender since you didn’t feel like being attacked at that very moment.

***

It was about eleven o’clock now and you were snuggled up in your sleeping bag but you weren’t going to sleep just yet. You were staying over at the compound for Christmas this year since your parents were out of town and wouldn’t make it back for Christmas. You were really upset at first but you were happy that you practically had two families: your real parents and the Avengers. You wondered what everyone got you. Could it be a new fluffy blanket? Slippers? A phone? Thinking about about all the possibilities made you extremely impatient, so you thought up a plan. While everyone was sleeping, you’d quietly tiptoe downstairs and give a little peek at what everyone got you. Then, you would go back upstairs as if you’d been sleeping the entire time. Perfect idea, right? Wrong But if you were gonna do it, you didn’t want to do it alone. So of course, being your best friend, you asked Peter to come along for the adventure. “Hey Peter?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve articulated a master plan to do something extremely awesome! Are you in?”

“Your gonna look at what everyone got you when they all fall asleep, aren’t you?” You were in awe. How’d he know?

“How’d you know?!”

“You’re kinda my best friend y/n. Sometimes I think I know you too well.”

“Alright well are you in?”

“Nope. You’re gonna have to do your dirty deed without me this time. If anyone finds out we’ll be done for.”

“Awww c’mon. No one’s gonna find out. Please?”

“Goodnight y/n.” Peter said as he ignored your pleas. You’d guessed you had to do it alone this time.

***

It had been a good hour until you were sure everyone was sleeping. Waiting for the entire compound to be quiet was agonizing, and you obviously weren’t a very patient person considering the fact that you thought up an entire plan to sneak a peek at your Christmas presents. You made sure to bring your phone for its flashlight so that you wouldn’t bump into anything, and so the plan began.

You first very carefully pulled off your sleeping bag to leave Peter’s room and made your way downstairs. As you left his room, you saw that everyone’s doors were closed except for Tony’s, but you weren’t worried since Tony was a pretty heavy sleeper. Little did you know that Tony checks the security cameras every morning, so even if no one saw you now, Tony would find everything out as soon as he woke up.

You made it all the way downstairs to the beautifully lit up tree, and took a look at all of your presents. You were so happy! You’d gotten the best presents including that fluffy blanket and pair of slippers you pondered about receiving. You were satisfied with what you saw so you made your way back upstairs and went straight to sleep, as if nothing had happened.

***

Christmas morning came and you immediately got up and shook Peter awake. “PETER PETER GET UP! IT’S CHRISTMAS!”

“Ugh just five more minutes!” he said groggily and went back to sleep. Drastic times called for drastic measures so you stood up on his bed and began to jump up and down as crazily as you could so that he would get up.

“PETER! GET! UP!”

“OK OK IM UP.”

“Good.” You made your way to Steve’s room and instead of jumping on his bed, you screamed in his ear, which probably wasn’t the best idea. “STEEEEEVE IT’S CHRISTMAAAAAS!”

“AAAAAH- oof.” He had fallen of his bed during your effort to wake him. But he was awake so you put your hands on your hips in satisfaction. You then eventually woke everybody else up including Natasha, Bucky, Clint, Sam, and Bruce and as of now were all brushing their teeth and getting ready for present opening. You were already ready so you hopped downstairs with the biggest grin on your face, knowing that today would be a great day.

You got to the last few steps and saw Tony at the bottom. “Good morning Tony!” you said as you gave him a big hug. Again, he saw what you did last night, and he had most definitely not forgotten.

“Good morning!” he hugged you back. “Did you wanna tell me anything?”

“Uhhh no? What do you mean?” There was no way he could’ve known, or could he have?

“I mean did you wanna talk about how you snuck out of your room in the middle of the night to look at all your presents?” Busted.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” you said innocently as you could with your crossed your arms over your chest.

“Oho really?”

“Hey y/n! Hey Tony! Merry Christmas!” Peter came down to greet you both.

“Merry Christmas Peter! You wouldn’t happen to know about y/n’s little doing last night, would you?” Peter looked at you in total surprise. He was terrible at keeping secrets, and if this one slipped, you didn’t even want to think about what would happen.

“Uhm...” you gave him a serious look. “of course not! I... uh... was... sleeping! Yeah I was really tired and... sleeping.”

“Sorry kid but you’re a terrible liar. And I didn’t even need you to tell me. I looked at the security cameras from last night and they showed me everything.” He had the most evil smile on his face. You silently cursed yourself since you should’ve known he checks the cameras.

“Y/n. You should run.” Peter said seriously. You would thank him for that later since you were in the midst of escaping for your life.

“Get back here!”

“No way! You’re gonna kill me!” you said while running. Tony could’ve easily caught you by now, but he wanted to let you enjoy the upper hand for a little while.

You had now ran around the stair case about five times, through the kitchen once, and almost ran straight into the fireplace at one point. But you knew that Tony catching you was inevitable. You thought running into one of the rooms was the best idea. Maybe you could lock yourself in there and Tony would forget about everything. But just as you thought you were about to get away you ran straight into Steve. “Steve! Help! Tony’s gonna kill me!”

“Well Merry Christmas to you too y/n. What’d you do this time?” Before you could say a word Tony grabbed from behind and threw you over his shoulder.

“Gotcha.”

“Would someone like to explain to me what happened?” Steve said.

“Well, someone...” Tony said as he poked your stomach. “decided to sneak downstairs and peek at her presents last night.”

“Y/N!” Steve gasped dramatically, “How could you!?”

“Steve, I believe we should handle this in a civilized manner, don’t you?” Tony gave Steve a knowing look.

“But of course. I’ll help!” Tony brought you over to the couch and straddled your waist. Steve took the pleasure of holding your arms. So frankly, you were screwed.

“Ihihim sohohorry!”

“You don’t think you’ll get away with it that easy, do you?” Tony said.

“Steeheheeve pleehease!”

“No can do y/n. If anything, you deserve this.”

“What?! How? All I di- AHHAHAHAHAHHA TOHOHONY STAHAAP!” Tony wasted no time in tickling you to pieces. It felt like a billion ravenous spiders were crawling all over you. Not to mention Steve was also tickling your underarms, and there was no way of escaping. All you could do was stay along for the ride.

“You should’ve thought about this before sneaking around y/n.” You couldn’t even hear what Tony was saying over your own laughs. Just then, Bucky came into the room.

“Hey what’s going on here?”

“Oh hey Bucky!” Steve said. “We were just tickling the crap out of y/n! Wanna help?”

“Uh, yea!”

“NONONONONONOOOO!”

“Aw what’s wrong y/n? Afraid of a little tickling?” Bucky said as he switched places with Tony.

“I’m gonna go make a cup of coffee, anybody want one?” Both Steve and Bucky exclaimed a, “Me!” and continued with their attack.

“Now, where should I start?”

“NOWHERE!” you screamed.

“Y/n, that’s not very nice. We’re only trying to show you that what you did was wrong.” Steve said.

“By tickling me?!”

“Exactly! Now you’re catching on.” You were so furious so you stuck your tongue out at him. He obviously didn’t like that.

“Bucky. Go for her sides. She hates it.” Steve said as he grinned mischievously at you.

“Aye aye, captain!” Bucky’s fingertips instantly made contact with your sides and you couldn’t contain yourself. You were shaking your head, thrashing you legs every which way just in case there was a chance to get out of your predicament. Unfortunately, there wasn’t.

“BUHUHUCKY DOHOHONT!”

“Don’t what?”

“TIHIHICKLE MEEEHEHEHE!”

“I’m so glad you asked!” Bucky said in excitement.

“NOHOHOOOHO THAHATS NOOHOT WHAT IHIHI- AHAHAHAHA!”

“That’s not what you... what? Sorry I couldn’t hear you. Can you speak up a bit?” Bucky said as he paused his attack. Steve on the other hand was still tickling your underarms.

“Ihihi sahaid thahats noohot whahahat I meheheant.” Steve finally paused his fingers.

Steve wasn’t tickling you anymore but he was still holding your arms just in case you tried to get away. “Are you sorry about what you did?” He said as his face was no more than an inch away from yours.

“YEHES!” you said as residual giggles poured out of you.

“And are you going to do something sneaky like that again?”

“NO! Now can you let me go?!”

“What’s the magic word?”

“PLEASE!”

“Ok. Bucky. Release.” Bucky hesitated to get off but he did eventually and offered you a hug but you denied.

“Meany.” Bucky said with a frown as he walked away. Tony then came over and handed you a cup of hot chocolate as everyone else came downstairs.

“Merry Christmas Munchkin.” He said as he sat down and put an arm around you.

“Merry Christmas Tony.” you said with a huge smile on your face.

You’d realized that day that it was never about the presents on Christmas. It was about who you spent it with, and you didn’t want to be spending it with anyone else.

[szparx]

regretregretregret

tw / suicide , car crash , blood , drugs , alcohol , religion

weekends don't feel the same anymore

ive been away for far too long

cruisin' and bruisin' down the highway of hell that is my poor miserable life.

gaining new tumors and ulcers and blisters and bumps every goddamned day

flying so high the birds cant even see me and then crashing so hard that even james dean himself would feel sorry for my soul

never sleeping and not eating. no drinks and no shoes and no shirt and no service, no drugs or nuclear weapons allowed inside.

wild life, right? the kind of mundane that you only get from working a 9 to 5 job in a cubicle for a pharmaceutical company

except im (insert age here) and unemployed and i have been my whole life

and i grew up too fast and escaped too slow and now i am painfully and totally trapped under the seatbelt in my flipped car on i-80 and the child locks are on

and im suspended above a holy burning fire set as a trap for the angels as they come to reclaim their vessel for lucifer himself

a devil like me that only the sweetest of grandmothers could love and care for, and take in as if they're their own

knowing full well their time is almost up and soon they'll be leaving some poor preteen to the foster system in heaven, and all of the cherubs and archangels will pass them around like a plate of chopped liver at an overcrowded thanksgiving dinner that your mom said you had to go to and, yes, you have to wear the sweater vest

it's like a party except you're all alone and there's only gas station vodka and all of the music comes in the form of clocks ticking and other cars passing you at 90 miles an hour as you lay dying.

and nobody seems to care, and nobody called the police because you finally got what was coming to you.

what has been coming to you since the 8th grade.

a suicide so potent that only the greatest alchemist could have ever even dreamed about brewing, and somehow you've done it yourself on the cold tile of your mother's bathroom.

and all of the pills once in the cabinet are splayed on the floor around you, soaking up and dissolving in the pool of warm blood that is making a slipping hazard all over the floor that she loved more than you.

and that same gas station vodka bottle that you partied with like it was your last night on earth is laying in the crook of your corpse's elbow. painfully empty and trying desperately to fill with blood as it spills from every vein in your body, terribly black and thick, and not at all how the blood of a human being who was loved would look like.

and when the police zip up your body into a black bag and send it to the lab for testing, the head officer just shakes his head and rubs his temples because even though he never knew you he still knew that this was coming.

and as your tired coroner makes the first incision of your autopsy the tox screen comes back and tells him all the pills that you ate.

hydrocodone, acetaminophen, amoxicillin, ibuprofen, codeine, alprazolam, detroxamphetamine, amphetamine, diazepam, escitalopram, fexofenadine, fluoxetine, lorazepam, ranitidine, and sertraline Vicodin, amoxil, Motrin, Tylenol, Xanax, Adderall, Valium, Lexapro, Allegra, Prozac, ativan, zantac, zoloft

not to mention a fuckton of THC and booze

and he sighs and scratches his ass and wonders if he should even bother finishing, because he already knows that your insides are mangled and black and disgusting.

and he thinks it's a miracle that you even made it this far, and he knows how much poison you used, and the officer knows how much blood there was, and your family knows how much they resent you, and God knows how much guilt you carried until the bloody brutal end.

everyone knows everything about you. except why you did it, because you never left a note and you don't have any friends to tell so you took that dark secret to the grave with you. literally.

and the funeral is sparse and quiet, and one of your high school teachers attends and tells your red-eyed bloodline how much of a pleasure you were in class and says those five words that they are so so tired of hearing:

"I'm sorry for your loss"

and they've heard it a hundred times today, and a thousand times this week, and a billion times in the last 18 years because that is the only thing you consistently said to them.

and it was always 'I'm sorry' and never 'I love you' and now you can never take that back because you're dead and six feet under, and there's not anything left of you on the mortal plane or existence to bring you back as a ghost so you have to live, or rather not, with the fact that your family thinks you hate them.

and there's nothing you can do except relive your memories, because apparently hell is a movie theater that plays all your moments back to you and you sit there and realize that everything is terrible, and you see everything that you could have done differently if you had just cared a little bit more.

and you miss your brothers, and you realize now that you did have friends and you would give anything just to see them one more time.

and you finally, finally, finally find something that you regret more than living:

dying

[bisamwilson]

i was tagged by @fatiguedvulcan

rules: answer 17 questions and tag 17 people you want to get to know better!

nickname: mak is technically a nickname, but it’s the name i go by most of the time. i’ve got about a billion of them though: kenz, kenzi, kenzaroo, kenzarooni, macaroni, macintosh, etc etc etc. i also have a friend that calls me umbrella because i told him i’d respond to just about anything and that’s what stuck

zodiac sign: taurus (both sun and moon, which my friends who are into astrology blame every facet of my personality on)

height: 5′4 (that’s about 162 cm i think?)

hogwarts house: slytherin

last thing i googled: return on assets ratio (i was doing my financial accounting homework)

song stuck in my head: obsession (rac mix) by vice and jon bellion but also through the valley by shawn james (these have v e r y different vibes lmao)

following: 706 (i’ve been on tumblr for like six years and like twenty hyperfixations shoutout to the people i’ve been following since 2014 when i was a pjo blog)

followers: 255

amount i sleep: usually about 8 hours. if i get less than seven i am very much not pleasant to be around

lucky numbers: 16, 42

dream job: ????? i’ll probably go into consulting or data science???? but i don’t have any concrete idea. i wanted to be an actuary for like four years but then i had a breakdown like a year ago so we’re not doing that anymore lmao

currently wearing: a 2019 backstreet boys long sleeve tour shirt (fantastic concert, by the way) tucked into these (cuffed) black jeans that have men’s sized pockets!!!! even though they’re women’s jeans but also like weird random seams down the front of my leg. also corgi socks

favorite songs: this literally changes like every three days??? but some songs that always Hit Different™ or will always be important to me/close to my heart are work song by hozier, honeybee by steam powered giraffe, and disloyal order of water buffaloes by fall out boy. lately i’ve been listening to valerie by amy winehouse pretty often

favorite instrument: i played viola for like eight years so definitely the viola bc im partial

random fact about me: i was like. super into the mighty morphin power rangers as a kid b/c my oldest brother was born in 1990 and i got all his hand me down toys and stuff. like so into power rangers that i burned out my vhs tape of the mighty morphin power rangers movie at like five years old and all of my childhood imaginary friends were power rangers. anyway i was super excited when the 2017 movie came out (i saw it in theaters twice) and a friend of mine who worked at the movie theaters at the time took the pink power ranger promotional cutout when they took the decorations down and brought it to school and gave it to me so now i have a six foot tall cardboard cutout of the pink power ranger just vibing in my room

favorite authors: rick riordan will always hold a special place in my heart honestly. but i’m also a big fan of fitzgerald

i tag: i’m always really bad at tagging people in these but i got a few new trek mutuals recently so i tag @kirkmcoy, @plaidshirtjimkirk, @aoskirk, and @mikes-wheelers if y’all want to do this/haven’t done it yet (this isn’t anywhere close to 17 oops---also if anyone else following me wants to do this please do it and tag me in it because i love reading these and learning new things about people!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

[rosemcrys-blog]

            chicago’s  very  own  𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲  𝐤𝐢𝐦  has  been  spotted  on  madison  avenue  driving  a  𝑟𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑠 - 𝑟𝑜𝑦𝑐𝑒  𝑤𝑟𝑎𝑖𝑡𝘩  ,  welcome  !  your  resemblance  to  𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑘 𝑐𝘩𝑎𝑒𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑔  is  unreal  .  according  to  tmz  ,  you  just  had  your  𝑡𝑤𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑦  𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑑  birthday  bash  .   your  chance  of  surviving  new  york  is  uncertain  because  you’re  𝑎𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠  ,  but  being  𝑏𝑒𝑔𝑢𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔  might  help  you  .  i  think  being  a  𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑢𝑠  explains  that  .  three  things  that  would  paint  a  better  picture  of  you  would  be  𝐛𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠  𝐡𝐞𝐫  𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐫  𝐨𝐧𝐞  𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐝  𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬  𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞  𝐛𝐞𝐝  ,  𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠  𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞  𝐬𝐞𝐭𝐬  𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫  𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥  𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠  ,  𝐚𝐧𝐝  𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐬  𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠  𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫  𝐭𝐡𝐞  𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭  .  (  𝐦𝐲  𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬  𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐝  𝐨𝐟𝐟  𝐭𝐡𝐞  𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞  𝐢  𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞  𝐛𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐝  𝐭𝐨  𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭  𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦  𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦  𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠  𝐭𝐨  𝐭𝐡𝐞  𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚 .  )  

            for  an  accurate  description  of  me  and  the  man  who  essentially  runs  my  life  ,  please  click  here  for  giggles  .  but  hello  everyone  !  i’m  johnny  ,  twenty - two  ,  and  i  go  by  either  𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐞  or  𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫  𝐧𝐞𝐮𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐥  pronouns  !  i’m  super  excited  to  be  here  and  i’m  really  excited  to  write  with  everyone  ,  so  i  won’t  keep  my  own  introduction  long  so  we  can  go  ahead  and  hop  into  everything  about  rosemary  !  my  discord  is  𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠  𝖘𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌  𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙  .#6807  if  that’s  your  preference  for  plotting  over  tumblr  im’s  ,  and  before  i  go  ,  stan  loona  !

𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡  𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞  :  kim  eun - jung  . 𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡  𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞  :  rosemary  michelle  kim  . 𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞(𝐬)  :  ro  or  romy  ,  only  . 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 / 𝐚𝐠𝐞  :  december  15th  ,  1997  /  22  . 𝐳𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐜  :  sagittarius  . 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬  :  she / her / hers  . 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫  :  cis - female  . 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥  𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧  :  bisexual  . 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜  𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧  :  biromantic  . 𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭  :  5′5″  (  five  foot  ,  five  inches  ) 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐧  :  chicago  ,  illinois  (  click  !  ) 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭  𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧  :  new  york  ,  ny  (  click  !  ) 𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲  :  korean - american  . 𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲  :  korean  .  𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬  𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧  :  korean  ,  english  ,  and  conversational  portuguese  . 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐫  :  ballet  dancer  ;  soloist  with  american  ballet  theater  . 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫  𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐬  :  alpha  bitch  ,  royal  brat  ,  bratty  teenage  daughter  ,  socialite  ,  daddy’s  girl  ,  and  wicked  witch  .

          kang  eugene  was  a  nineteen  year  old  and  already  living  in  the  wealthy  district  of  gangnam  in  south  korea  thanks  to  her  career  as  a  drama  actress  .  she  mainly  found  her  claim  to  fame  starring  in  coming - of - age  dramas  that  focused  on  high  school  or  university  aged  students  ,  but  she  had  recently  landed  her  dream  leading  role  as  a  chaebol  heiress  looking  for  love  in  a  ruthless  world  .  she  ends  up  meeting  the  love  of  her  life  that  very  year  ,  and  it’s  purely  by  coincidence  ,  when  she  gets  into  a  minor  fender  bender  with  kim  ho - seok  ,  the  heir  of  a  multi - billion  dollar  real  estate  and  construction  conglomerate  ,  who  was  back  in  korea  while  on  vacation  from  school  in  the  states  . 

          eugene  tried  her  best  to  keep  their  relationship  as  friends  ,  mainly  because  her  contract  with  her  company  put  her  on  a  dating  ban  for  a  few  years  ,  but  it  was  nearly  impossible  for  the  young  woman  to  turn  down  his  attempts  at  wooing  her  .  after  a  few  months  of  sneaking  around  ,  eugene  finally  approached  her  company  about  her  dating  ho -seok  ,  and  surprisingly  ,  they  were  on  board  .  eugene  and  ho - seok  had  a  rather  whirlwind  relationship  ,  making  their  relationship  instagram  official  in  the  matter  of  a  month  and  eugene  was  wearing  a  promise  ring  once  they  hit  their  two  month  anniversary  .

          the  only  downside  was  that  eugene  had  to  stay  in  korea  for  her  career  while  ho - seok  returned  to  the  states  for  school  ,  but  they  promised  and  managed  to  make  it  work  .  during  breaks  ,  and  whenever  she  had  time  ,  eugene  was  traveling  to  the  states  and  whenever  the  summer  months  rolled  around  ,  ho - seok  was  back  in  korea  .  it  came  as  a  surprise  to  now  twenty - two  year  old  eugene  when  ho - seok  got  down  on  bended  knee  and  asked  for  her  to  marry  him  at  his  graduation  from  the  university  of  pennsylvania’s  wharton  school  of  business  .  

          both  american  and  korean  media  outlets  were  floored  when  they  discovered  the  couple’s  engagement  ,  and  it  was  hard  to  ignore  the  sizable  ring  that  sat  perched  on  eugene’s  hand  .  so  ,  the  couple  marries  after  six  months  of  planning  in  a  lavish  ceremony  in  bali  ,  indonesia  .  eugene’s  contract  with  her  company  was  up  ,  and  while  she  had  the  chance  to  renew  ,  the  young  actress  decided  that  she  would  take  her  chances  in  america’s  scene  .  the  couple  decide  to  settle  in  chicago  ,  where  ho - seok  was  taking  over  the  new  headquarters  of  his  family’s  company  .  about  eight  months  after  settling  in  their  new  home  ,  eugene  had  exciting  news  :  she  was  pregnant  .

          after  an  instagram  pregnancy  announcement  ,  photoshoot  ,  and  red  carpet  appearances  with  a  protruding  belly  ,  eugene  finally  had  their  first  and  only  baby  girl  ten  days  before  christmas  in  1997  ,  who  they  affectionately  named  eun - jung  .  being  their  only  daughter  ,  eugene  and  ho - seok  smothered  their  daughter  with  the  finest  things  .  if  you  thought  kylie  got  a  lot  for  stormi  ...  that  had  nothing  on  the  kims  .  growing  up  ,  eun - jung  who’s  name  was  assimilated  to  rosemary  ,  attended  the  francis  w.  parker  school  in  chicago  (  they  don’t  wear  uniforms  there  but  i’m  gonna  pretend  that  they  did  because  plaid  pleated  skirts  ?  chef’s  kiss  !  )  for  the  first  few  years  ,  rosemary  seemed  to  not  have  any  interests  in  extracurriculars  ,  only  focusing  on  her  academics  .

          it  wasn’t  until  she  was  around  thirteen  years  old  when  her  parents  took  her  to  see  the  nutcracker  for  her  birthday  that  year  when  she  decided  that  she  wanted  to  be  a  ballerina  .  eugene  and  ho - seok  would  do  anything  for  their  daughter  ,  so  despite  the  people  who  would  laugh  in  their  faces  because  their  thirteen  year  old  daughter  was  just  starting  ballet  ,  they  made  sure  that  she  would  get  whatever  she  wanted  .  the  people  who  laughed  soon  found  themselves  with  egg  on  their  faces  as  rosemary  had  the  natural  ability  to  embrace  the  fine  art  ,  winning  a  top  prize  after  only  a  year  of  training  .  soon  after  ,  she  had  grown  out  of  her  dance  company  and  was  soon  training  with  the  top  coaches  in  chicago  .

          the  sudden  thrust  into  the  dance  circuit  went  straight  to  rosemary’s  head  which  of  course  ,  changed  her  personality  as  a  whole  .  she  entered  the  upper  school  with  her  head  held  high  and  her  posture  straight  ,  never  letting  those  around  them  forget  who  she  was  .  rosemary  often  found  herself  meddling  and  treating  others  without  kindness  ,  bullying  those  around  her  especially  when  she  wanted  something  .  when  it  came  to  yearbook  superlatives  ,  rosemary  got  whatever  she  wanted  because  she  used  her  parents’  donations  over  them  and  promised  things  that  she  had  no  interest  in  fulfilling  .  rosemary  was  quite  the  bitch  throughout  her  high  school  career  ,  and  she  only  ever  really  had  superficial  friends  who  only  stuck  close  because  of  her  father’s  billion  dollar  net  worth  .  

          during  her  high  school  years  ,  rosemary’s  bullying  had  never  gotten  the  physical  realm  ,  but  she  had  definitely  done  a  number  on  those  of  a  lower  social  status  (  yuck  )  .  however  ,  rosemary  was  able  to  continue  with  her  ballet  (  and  even  managed  to  have  a  completely  different  personality  when  around  her  ballerina  ‘  friends  ’  )  .  during  her  summers  before  her  junior  and  senior  years  ,  rosemary  traveled  to  new  york  where  she  spent  summers  training  with  the  american  ballet  theatre  .  come  her  graduation  from  high  school  when  she  was  only  eighteen  years  old  ,  rosemary  moved  out  of  her  parents’  home  in  chicago  to  her  current  apartment  in  the  plaza  hotel  ,  as  she  was  invited  to  become  a  member  of  abt’s  corps  de  ballet  .  she  participated  in  a  number  of  performances  ,  ranging  from  romeo  &  juliet  to  swan  lake  to  the  sleeping  beauty  .  after  four  years  ,  rosemary  was  promoted  to  soloist  ,  and  she  made  full  circle  when  she  made  her  soloist  debut  as  clara  in  abt’s  production  of  the  nutcracker  .  her  all  time  dream  is  to  become  a  principal  dancer  within  the  company  .

          outside  of  her  career  in  dance  ,  rosemary  is  a  brand  spokeswoman  and  stage  performer  ,  often  participating  in  broadway  productions  during  the  off - season  of  abt  .  

          when  it  comes  to  her  personality  ,  rosemary  is  every  inch  the  girl  that’s  clearly  had  a  silver  spoon  in  her  mouth  since  birth  .  she  was  always  one  of  the  popular  girls  in  her  grade  ,  so  naturally  that  went  to  her  head  .  of  course  she’s  used  to  being  amongst  the  richest  in  her  school  ,  but  rosemary  still  rides  on  an  extremely  high  horse  .  she’s  ridiculously  petty  and  can  be  quite  manipulative  at  times  ,  also  pulling  out  her  bratty  side  whenever  she  feels  like  she  needs  to  use  it  .  she’s  mean  and  vindictive  ,  especially  when  she  feels  like  someone  has  done  something  wrong  to  her  (  no  matter  how  small  it  may  be  )  .  she  can  be  nice  when  she  wants  to  be  and  it  all  depends  on  if  people  are  gonna  challenge  her  or  not  .  for  the  most  part  ,  she  can  be  chill  but  she  100000%  believes  in  the  philosophy  of  if  you  can’t  take  it  ,  don’t  dish  it  out  .

          i  ...  would  put  a  list  of  wanted  connections  here  ,  but  i  kind  of  prefer  brainstorming  or  going  based  on  chemistry  !  that  being  said  ,  i  do  have  a  wanted  connections  tag  that  can  be  found  on  my  page  (  for  whatever  reason  tumblr  is  saying  it  doesn’t  exist  but  i  promise  ,  the  posts  are  there >:/  )  !

[exaliant]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER.

can be used for RP  &&  non-RP blogs to get to know a bit about the person behind the screen

1. FIRST NAME  : gigi

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF  : one time, as a child, i apparently consumed like a brick of grilling charcoal???

3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON  : eyebrows...and i guess im not immune to tall + built people, i guess. i dont really think too hard about that stuff though irl haha? me? attractive in kind? (yes i know i can just ogle celebrities or something but consider: meh)

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF  : oh potatoes full stop

5. A FOOD YOU HATE  :  sorry coleslaw but i just cannot stand you. its not even much of a flavor thing the flavor’s fine but the texture is SO easy to throw me off

6. GUILTY PLEASURE  :  true crime docs

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN  :  sweats and a tee

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS  :  bold of you to assume im fling material

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE  ,  WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE  :  everything before 2016 ‘gigi thats not one thing’ ‘its a bulk purchase’ 

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON  :  nnnot really mostly because I’ve had issues with being overbearing in the past with people when i was a teenager and I’m literally so embarassed to put anyone even close to through that again i just dont

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN  :  promare I REALLY want to watch again + i’ve watched paprika twice and probably see myself going back in for a third run tbh (and i guess if you want stuff that I’ve watched Way More Than Twice if you wanna count bender’s big score / bender’s game / beast with a billion backs / into the wild green yonder ....uh....i really have seen those way too often LMAO)

12. FAVORITE BOOK  : I’m not allowed to say count of monte cristo anymore because i bought a copy all these years later + haven’t gotten back to reading it SDHGSHDG LOVED it in high school though. The kind of humor in Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and Good Omens? thats my jam

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE  : well aside from cats bc i love these fuzzy little bastards uhhhh a gecko or a snake!

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS   (  IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG  ,  YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL  )  :  by no means see this list as solicitation this is just my jams for my muse--

dimitri/sylvain, dimitri/claude, dimitri/yuri (yes my dimitri muse has a type. shut up), dimitri/felix and.....dimitri/lorenz

15. PIE OR CAKE  :  cake

16. FAVORITE SCENT  :  oooogh i LOVE the scent of coffee. cafes are catnip to me

17. CELEBRITY CRUSH  : idk lizzo? sunmi?? (im still having a crisis over sunmi’s guitar solo i don’t even consider myself a dedicated kpoppie by any stretch of the imagination)

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO  : canada. maybe nyc again. but canada

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT  : ambivert i think? i crave personal interaction but i also can’t do it in high doses i suck

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY  : i hate jumpscares and literally couldn’t sleep the night i learned about slenderman for the first time but i used to wave ‘hi’ at haunted house monsters as a teenager so idk dude it’s a toss-up

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID  : android

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES  : i, mun behind dimitri alexandre blaiddyd of fire emblem: three houses (2019) for nintendo switch here in isola, have never played a video game

23. DREAM JOB  : I wanted to be a production sort of artist once but eh. ehhh

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS  :  pay off my loans, give my family enough for a nice cushion, fuck off to canada

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE  : dimitri alexandre blaiddyd. can’t stand that greasy little white boy

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER  : well i certainly love surprising people with jojo knowledge that seems to come out of thin air

tagged by  :  yoinked

tagging  : hey yoink it yourself!! be gay do crime

[stevie-steven-stevington]

Febuwhump Day 20: time travel

Fandom: MCU Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark Category: Gen Rating: T Warnings: panic attack/flashback Words: 1.2k

In the end, the only way to fix things is to erase them.

The Avengers - the original six, plus Rhodey and newcomer Captain Marvel - find a way to travel back in time and prevent the Snap from ever happening after almost six months of nothing.

It's...surreal, to say the least.

Because it actually didn't happen in everyone else's timeline, no one but the Avengers remembers. The Snap, everyone disappearing, the weary aftermath, it's forgotten by all but seven people.

Tony will never be able to forget it. Holding your kid in your arms as he slowly disintegrates, crying and begging all the while for you to save him...it's not something you forget.

Peter is alive and well - physically and mentally, thank God - but Tony still spends every waking moment with the words I don't wanna go ringing dully in his ears. Still dreams of red planets and purple titans and the closest thing he's ever had to a son fading away all too soon.

Tony Stark has born many crosses in his lifetime.

This makes everything else he's been through seem like a cakewalk.

The worst part is, he can't talk to anyone about it. Rhodey knows what happened, only because he dragged it out of Tony after a particularly bad night, but he hasn't told anyone the details. Hasn't told anyone that he lives his life waiting for this timeline to turn out to be some sort of really drawn-out dream and for him to wake up and realize that Peter is still gone.

He can't even talk to Peter about it. Can't sit the kid down and tell him that he's sorry for not being able to save him, that the six months without him were the worst six months of Tony's life. He can't put that kind of burden on Peter, not when the kid was miraculously spared from the trauma of it all.

So he keeps his mouth shut. And he keeps as close an eye on Peter as he possibly can, because there's no way in hell he's going to fail his kid again.

As all things are, Tony is bound to fall apart eventually.

It's a lab day. Peter's sitting across the room, tinkering away with the Iron Man gauntlet Tony had handed him an hour ago, when he finally got tired of not being able to figure out what was wrong with it. Tony hasn't really been working on anything since, just fiddling with spare parts in an attempt to look like he's doing something. With how often Peter glances over at him, it's probably not working.

He didn't sleep well last night. Or, if he's being honest, at all. He'd spent most of the night wandering the halls of the tower and trying to avoid waking anyone up because every time he closed his eyes he saw Titan.

It's getting worse, he thinks. The noise in his head, as Peter so aptly describes his own issues, is getting louder. Harder to ignore.

But he's dealing for the last five weeks and he'll keep dealing.

No matter what Rhodey and Pepper and Bruce say, he's dealing.

Until the time to send Peter home alarm goes off (May insisted he set it after one too many forgotten curfews), and Peter looks up and mock-whines, "Aw, I don't wanna go."

I don't wanna go. I don't wanna go.

He can feel himself slipping as it happens. The part he's holding falls out of his hand and clatters on the floor and he can't breathe, he can't think, he can't he can't he can't.

Mr. Stark, I don't feel so good.

No, no no, not again, he can't do this again. Peter's stumbling into his arms and he wants to comfort him, to help him, to save him, but all he can do is say, "You're okay," and hold him as he shakes.

Please.

Peter is fading and there's nothing he can do. His kid is dying and there's nothing he can do.

I'm sorry.

His kid is dying, he thinks it's his fault, and Tony can't even find the strength to tell him it's not. To say that he's the one who should be apologizing, not Peter.

He can't fucking breathe.

Mr. Stark.

He's never going to hear the kid call him Tony. He's never going to hear the kid call him Dad.

Mr. Stark!

He's never going to earn his place as Peter's father-figure. He's never going to hear his kid talk about Star Wars or chemistry or his friends again.

"Tony!"

Peter.

Peter.

It can't be real. It can't be real because Peter's gone and Tony misses him so fucking much.

"Tony, please, you - you're scaring me."

What?

This isn't part of the script.

Tony comes to on the lab floor, knees pulled up to his chest and fingernails dug into the sides of his calves. Peter is kneeling in front of him, hands hovering in the air as if unsure where to go and eyes wide with thinly veiled panic.

"Peter," Tony gasps out. "Peter."

The kid takes both of Tony's hands in his, pulling them away from his legs and clutching them tight. The fear on his face lessens, but only just. "I'm here. I'm right here, okay? I've got you."

He's way too good at this for a seventeen-year-old. Peter is way too young to be watching his mentor have a panic attack on the floor.

Peter is so young and so small and so, so alive.

"I'm sorry, Peter, I'm so sorry. Peter, I - Peter." He can't stop saying his name. Has to remind himself that Peter is here, that Peter is okay, that Peter is alive. He's alive. "Peter, I'm sorry - I love you, Peter, I should've told you - I should've -"

It's not how he meant to tell him, but at least he's said it now.

Surprise flits over Peter's face for barely even a second before his expression shifts back to worry. There’s a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, though. “I love you too, Mr. Stark. But are you - what’s happening right now? What can I do?”

It’s too many words at one time. Too much to process at one time.

“Don’t go,” is all he can say.

“I won’t,” Peter assures him, scooting closer and moving to sit criss-cross with the fronts of his shoes pressing against Tony’s. “I’m not going anywhere, promise.”

You can’t promise that, he wants to say. He’s seen for himself that staying is something Peter cannot guarantee.  

“I love you, Peter,” he says again, because he should’ve said it a billion times before. Because he wants Peter to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that Tony would do anything for him. “Don’t go.”

A broken record.

Peter squeezes his hands. “I’m here. I’m always here.”

They’ll talk about this later, Tony knows. Peter won’t let him get away with not explaining, never does.

He’ll have to figure out what to tell Peter. Because he can’t tell him the truth, but Peter always knows when he’s lying, at least about important things.

But it doesn’t matter now. It doesn’t matter now because Peter is here. Alive and well.

He’s here. And Tony can breathe.

[wheelthefridge]

in honor of last night having been my last ever shift dishwashing at the same restaurant i’ve been at for the past four years here’s an absurdly long list of random chaotic moments that literally no one asked for that i’ve been compiling since day one:

bj, with a half full gallon of orange juice: this expired two months ago. *pours down drain* that was a long time ago

sam: YOU! I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU!! *carries on normally with no explanation* bj: smack that! that too! smack those vegetables! punch that burger in the nose! chop that bun! bob: no, flick the bun. you have to flick it. 

*bad and boujee playing* bj: walks into kitchen, singing bj: you better know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run bj: walks out of kitchen, still singing

me: hey can you put the wet floor sign out for me dylan: sure dylan: *slips while putting the sign out* me:

sam: get this- i haven’t smoked pot in like three days and my brain is ready to roll! yeah!

joe: ha! oldest trick in the book i just started writing 

dude @bar: ten percent of people are over 6'1" other dude: what about 6'2"  dude 1: what? no. ten percent of people are OVER 6'1" - so that includes 6'2" dude 2: idk I know a lot of tall guys. taller than me dude 1: what? i’m saying- just- ten percent of everyone in the whole world- you know how many people there are in the world? 7 billion– dude 2: i thought it was six billion  dude 1: no, 7 billion- ten percent of 7 billion—

joe, digging through the trash: i’m just gonna peruse through here,, aaaaannnd….. nope not here me: what’re u looking for Joe: …..a book

didi: is eating a pistachio  katherine: is that sour cream

sam: some dirty whorebag wants two pickles 

joe: sam she am. that’s right. dr seuss wrote a book about her 

katherine: oh my goddd this song is always on i’m so tired of it joe: is it? i don’t think i’ve heard it before carolyn: eh it’s all just one long brazilian song to me

katherine: look at my straw i put it in the pencil sharpener 

sam: i’m on crack cocaine. you heard it here

sam, aggressively putting silverware in the tray: just the way the cookie crumbles me: yeah? sam, fake crying: yes

adele: if you’re ready- sam: what if I’m not bob: too bad. she only cares if she’s ready

something: *breaks* sam: time for the mop. and by mop i mean… this thing *holds up dustpan*

mike: you should go on junior master chef…. and only make fries 

sam, quietly as she speedwalks by me: panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic

sam, beginning of the night: my goal is to make at least forty bucks tonight. hopefully sixty sam, later that night: i’ve made five dollars

sam, pouring a drink into the trash right next to the sink: you know, im not sure why i poured that in the trash. i’ve had a very off day

katherine, after accidentally spraying salsa on herself: i just sprayed salsa all over myself bj: i feel like that too sometimes. i love salsa so much

sam: can you imagine if i did like hardcore drugs how messed up i would be- i’m messed up soberly

someone: what’re you supposed to feed twenty kids  kerry: pizza bj: vodka 

sam: will you let bob know there’s gonna be seven in the snug bj: seven in the snug? that’s my band name. we’re really good

edson: *spins cover on counter and stares at it for solid thirty seconds before putting his finger down to stop it* edson: good. 

sam: what should i draw bj: you should draw casey, hanging from a cliff, with a pterodactyl flying towards them who is on fire, but, seems optimistic about it 

bj: life is too short for low fat cheese. remember that. 

sam, beginning of night, in a really good mood: guess what i’m drunk and high right now  sam, later that night: i was just pouring a beer and i dropped it. like my hand just let go of it sam, end of night: i’m never doing this again 

joe: you know who didn’t clock out yet?? i have two thumbs! joe: ……wait joe: you know who has two thumbs and hasn’t clocked out yet?? this guy!! me: there ya go buddy

bob: i’ve slept fifteen hours in the past four days me: that’s not good bob: yeah

edson: look edson: *holds out hand with top spinning in his palm* *giggles*

sam: i cannot wait for this day to be over  me: it’s barely started  sam: i took a shot before i got here. i have more in my car

bob: hi sam sam: hi bob  didi: hi sam sam: fuck off

joe: her? oh yeah her name is sarah whitaker  katherine: oh i think i know her joe: that’s funny because i just made that up. i’m willing to bet money that she’s nineteen tho me: why joe: bc i overheard her say that she’s nineteen

joe: i’m gonna send you a video but you can’t watch it now it’s needs full attention with headphones and the lights off 

bj: if you lose your hand, don’t replace it with a fork. that would be a bad choice. i know it’s probably the cheapest option, right up there with stick, but just spend the money. 

bj, on a different day: i think if you were to get your hands cut off, getting them replaced with plates would be a very bad idea. you can dig. and you can toss. but that’s about it. no playing the saxophone.  

colby: *doesn’t show up to work* bj: maybe i should leave him a message of just me crying 

katherine: i think an old man just asked me to live with him

sam: wait *pulls celery strings out of her mouth* that just came out of my throat

bob: i’m such a grump tonight. i’m in a good mood i’m just so grumpy.  bob: maybe i’m not in a good mood…

bj, after sending christa downstairs to get liquor for the bar: i put a live cobra down there too so… if she comes back with it dead in her hands…. she’s a champ. and that’s that. 

bj: i had a dog today did you have a dog? me: no bj: oh. well. 

dylan, holding phone camera at joe: hey joe can you pull ur shirt down joe, pulling the collar of his shirt halfway down his chest: yeah like this? dylan, taking picture: yeah thanks 

bj: HI-YAH carley: you’re a ninja!! bj: yes. don’t be alarmed. i only use my powers for good. 

bj, with one bottle in each hand, pouring water in the sink, mimicking cow milking motions: it’s like a cow. mooooooeeeeeeuuuuuhhhhhhgggg aaaaaauuuuuueuejhshhsii. that’s what cows sound like right?

bj: we have a dog, and we’re getting chickens. i’m not really sure why were getting chickens. do i consider myself a farmer? not really. 

bj: we should make a youtube channel of just me saying really random things to you and you not responding to me whatsoever me: mhmm

nancy: I’m sleeping

sam: *pours drink out on counter next to sink* sam: wHAT the FuCK was that!? why did i do that?? i’ve lost it! i’ve hit rock bottom!!

sam: *bends over* ughhhhhhhhhhhhh *straightens up* ok i’m fine

bj: yum! that’s how i rate the soup. two yums up!! *laughs for like a full minute*

sam: i got my motorcycle license over the weekend and now all everyone’s saying to me is “no don’t get a motorcycle they’re so dangerous” like shut the fuck up if i die i die it’s my choice 

bj: i think if i were to be turned into some kind of commercial type of food, if i got turned into a nugget, i think i’d be indignant. i’ve lived my whole life and now i’m a nugget??? “oh i was a great roasted-“ i was a nugget. i was eaten with fries out of a box with a small soda. 

bj: hello everybody. i have arrived. please remain calm.  bob: *screams*

radio: the fastest lawn mower in the world goes up to 150 miles per hour! bob: …….why??

sam: i just meowed in scotty’s face and he was completely unfazed by it. like a full on Meow. 

bob: lemme just touch these live wires with my wet hands  bj: bob has gone offline

katherine: i totally forgot to put their order in for i don’t even know how long me: ……..i’m sure it’ll be fine katherine: i mean, nothing matters, right? right. nothing matters. 

bj: hey did you guys hear that kate: yeah what was that bj: oh i was just yelling……….. about the soup kate: me: katherine: bj: i’ll try to keep it down next time

bob: you sleep a lot when you’re old. it’s just practice for death. getting ready for The Big Sleep. let’s see how do i wanna go out? on my back?? nah not for me. on my front babey! 

didi: hi sam sam: SHUT UP didi, quieter: okay…… sam: i love you  didi: no bj: so you’re a grownup now. that’s means you have to do grown up things, like, pay for dinner and stuff? me: uh huh bj: it’s all downhill from here 

bj: pon pon the van poco. right? me: mhmm bj: probably. i mean. i’m no doctor, but

random woman @ bar: we are the matrix. We. Are. The Matrix. 

bj, to the tune of frosty the snowman: clunkity clunk clunk clunkity clunk clunk look at all this stuff. clunkity clunk clunk clunkity clunk clunk making casey’s job tough! pretty good right?? i just made it up 

bj: *walks into kitchen* YES! that’s all i have to say. that’s it. BOBS killing it. DIDIS killing it. casey MURDERED it. you’re welcome. *walks out of kitchen* bj: today is the second day in a row my dog has eaten my lunch. yesterday and then today. it’s my own fault really bob: well you know what they say about men who like floppy french fries. *doesn’t elaborate*

sam: there’s a toy baby in my section. like just a toy baby taking up a seat in my section. what do i do like do i move the bitch? do i leave her there??

bob, talking to himself: if you get sick tomorrow, just remember. it’s your own fault for eating food off the floor. 

bob, to katherine: no, you don’t have to mop the carpet

bj: cheeeesy. 

laura: if i get through tonight without a heart attack it’ll be incredible. if i do have a heart attack tho just let me go

caldo: *unintelligible yelling* SELLING my BODY for SEX *more unintelligible yelling*

bob: my fathers brother sent all his kids to australia. i guess he figured at least one of them would make it

caldo: i don’t trust people who go out to eat tuna fish

bob: can you make some more guacamole soon we’re running low laura: pulls five (5) avocados from her pockets 

bob: he looks like jesus. well. he looks like what white people think jesus looked like

sam: yeah. Please. eat some more mother Fucking crackers. 

bj: i feel like i gave birth to the eggplant stacks tonight. and honestly? if my child looked like that? i’d be proud. proud to have an eggplant child

bj: alright everybody let’s get the fuf out of here!! i said fuf not f- it’s safe. f u f starts and ends with soft letters no one gets hurt. any word that starts with a soft letter and ends with a hard letter is bad news… i feel like every time i come in here i annoy you guys. casey’s one dumbass comment away from killing me. “hey so what are your thoughts on grass?” “that’s it” *mimics shooting a gun*

ilia: -and the dogs gonna get diabetes- katherine, indignantly: i cleaned it really well!

mickey: i’ll tell you one thing. crack is good. 

sam: some lady just rolled up to the bar, no bra, nipples beamin through the shirt- LETS GET IT!!!!

caldo: *speed walks into kitchen and shotguns a beer over the trash* ok i’m back. i should not have smoked this morning

dom: little kid just picked up a knife and went “oh cool i can stab someone” me, katherine, and sam in unison: good dom: yeah the dad took it away 

sam: my friend was like “why is your go to dance move just to snap” and i was like “i don’t know, i’m white” *shrugs*

bj: someone just asked me if i’m having fun. am i having fun? i don’t know if i’m having fun. there are certainly other things i’d rather be doing right now, but i don’t know if i can definitively say that i’m Not having fun. 

bj: some jobs require Only a ladle bj, thirty seconds later, after walking away and coming back: sometimes, also a funnel

bj, @ laura who’s eating cornbread: you cornbread eating chef!!!  laura: bj: laura: bj: i’m just saying facts in a weird way. you know like you’re in trouble. 

sam: *war cry* *spits out gum* *walks away*

bj: what kind of smoothie? Soup Smoothie!!

katherine: so this woman ordered some hot water so i gave it to her and her husband says you know what that’s for right and i’m like ….to drink? and he says nope! and doesn’t explain so i’m just like ………..okay! and walk away bc i don’t even want to know 

bj: there’s no shame in it! A Grown Man Can Bathe In Yogurt!!!

bj, leaning down very close to to-go box: i love you

bob: anyone want a drink? brian: whatever’s your strongest bob: milk it is

guy at bar: sUE HIM?!?!??? oh i’d sue him yeah

sam: who orders something extra cold?? like, you need to Die now thanks. 

sam: do you dare me to drink this buffalo sauce me: yes laura, walking by: snort it

sam: one more day. just one more day laura: of what sam: waking up

bob: *is trying to explain easter to jewish laura* laura: wait so he died… then he came back to life?? then he died Again??? bob: he died. then he came back just to tell people he was alive. then he said SEE YA and ascended to heaven

sam: i HATE margaritas. i don’t know why i just made myself one. 

bob: wow. i have this overpowering urge to just go home. 

bj, putting back a slotted spoon: this is a bad choice for dressing. a bad choice. 

me: *catches a plate about to fall* bj: woah! smooth moves!! spider-man? maybe. 

danny: so you know how at my other job everyone calls me daddy?

sam: *dumps out two full wine glasses* i fucked up. tell no one. 

me: remember when we used to be able to leave early? bob: no. i think we imagined it. 

danny: i didn’t realize we served DICK here -a few min later- danny: sorry i just got out of work and i’m all fired up

sam: my moms drunk and she won’t go home

bob: hey wasn’t that slang for mari- bj: cocaine. 

bj: *kicks kitchen door open* YEE-HAW!!!!

danny: sorry casey  me: what for  danny: for having to deal with me me: yeah *shrugs* danny: they should pay you more me: yeah

didi: i kill you ilia: do it now didi: no ilia: do it i wanna die

danny, about a burger: we’ve got ourselves a squirter!!

sam: is that a chicken patty  sydney: it’s my dog

sam, on my last night with her: lets get casey TRASHED tonight

sam: are you gonna go dancing in new york didi: yes laura: whore it up

[seventeen-teen-teen-trash]

“Here,” Mingyu murmurs, sliding Vernon a chocolate bar from across the table. For the fleeting moment they make eye contact, Mingyu can see the aching fear and sadness that’s taken a hold of the younger’s eternally-smiling face. His heart sinks as Vernon just shakes his head and slides it back, curling his knees into his chest.

A warm hand rests on Mingyu’s shoulder, and instantly, the tension he’d been carrying in his neck and upper back dissipates. “It’ll be okay. Just give him some time,” Minghao says quietly, eyes flickering back and forth from Vernon’s slumped figure to Mingyu’s distraught face.

“Do you really think it’s a good idea to sleep?” Jun says from a few tables away. “I mean,” he laughs bitterly, gesturing toward the mall’s main hallway, “We’ve already lost two people just from someone turning around for a split second. At this rate, if we all go to sleep, we’ll wake up with five people missing.”

Jeonghan rubs at his eyes frustratedly. “Yes, but how productive do you think we’re going to be if we’re running on no sleep? We’ll have zero energy to search for Seungkwan and Chan.”

“We could take turns,” Seokmin hums between bites of tortilla chips. “Those of us who are tired can sleep, and those of us who aren’t can keep looking around, and then we can switch.”

Jihoon purses his lips in thought, rolling the piece of paper he’d found earlier between his fingers. “I like that,” he shrugs. “But we’ll need someone to keep watch over the group who’s sleeping.”

“Jun, I’ll keep watch with you, if you want,” Wonwoo says softly.

Junhui takes a closer look at Wonwoo’s worn face, frowning at the obvious tear tracks staining his cheeks. If he knows anything about Jeon Wonwoo, it’s that he’s unnecessarily hard on himself, and behind the cold exterior and sarcastic remarks lies an extremely fragile interior. “Thanks,” he nods before studying the rest of the group. If they were tense before, they’re unnervingly blank now.

“All right, who’s staying here?” Minghao asks. Junhui, Wonwoo, Seungcheol, Vernon, Joshua, and Jeonghan raise their hands. “Okay, the rest of you,” he sighs, looking over at the other half of the group, “Don’t do anything stupid. Keep in touch with each other and don’t go anywhere alone.”

“Aye aye, captain,” Seokmin smiles halfheartedly. He turns to the others and nods vigorously in an attempt to not only give hope to his friends, but to himself. “Let’s go.”

Lips tightly pressed together and brows furrowed, Seungcheol watches the boys tepidly venture into the rest of the mall, huddling together in a small mass like fish in an ocean. Under different circumstances, he would chuckle and shake his head at the ragtag group of friends, but now he just feels numb. If Seungkwan wasn’t enough to break him, Chan was. “Wonwoo,” Seungcheol breathes, casting a dark glare in said man’s direction, “Can we talk for a minute?”

A few moments of silence pass between them, the stares of the people around intensifying the heat in Seungcheol’s eyes to the point where Wonwoo is sure he’s about to burn. “I guess,” comes the cold reply. He knows far too well what happens when you fight Seungcheol’s fire with fire. Luckily, Wonwoo’s specialty is ice.

Reluctantly, he stands up from his chair and follows Seungcheol to the opposite end of the food court for a little bit more privacy. When they arrive, the older points at the ground, silently commanding Wonwoo to take a seat against the wall.

“You know,” Seungcheol starts, sliding his back down against the wall and mimicking Wonwoo’s stiff sitting position, “Chan really looked up to you. To him, you were like,” he clicks his tongue and shakes his head ruefully, “The big brother he never had. He’d always come yapping to me about how cool you are, and how good you are at everything, and how you complimented his shoes… I wish I had been able to tell him to what you’d end up doing to him when I had the chance.“

Slowly and almost mechanically, Wonwoo turns his head to face the other, a deadly scowl etched on his face. “Are you seriously implying that I did it?” he asks, voice low and steady.

“Well you certainly had the most motive, to make me look bad.”

“You really think I would hurt Chan just to make you look bad,” Wonwoo repeats, hoping that if Seungcheol hears it aloud again, he’ll realize how ridiculous he sounds.

Seungcheol shrugs. “I wouldn’t put it past you, given what you’ve done to me.”

At that, Wonwoo’s hands curl into fists and anger courses through his veins. “How many times to I have to tell you that I had nothing to do with it.” Wonwoo hisses through gritted teeth. “I’m not my dad. Look, I’m sorry he fired your dad. I really am. But none of it was my decision at all.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t have to tell everyone!”

“For the last time, I didn’t tell anyone!”

The shorter man jabs a finger into Wonwoo’s chest, causing the other to stumble backwards. “Then how is it that everyone in our group found out, huh?! No one would have known but you!”

“I don’t know!” Wonwoo grunts, sitting back upright. “Maybe it was the fact that you dropped out of Pembroke Academy in the middle of the year? Or the fact that you ‘mysteriously’ lost your Rolex? And maybe whoever was curious checked my dad’s website and saw your dad’s name was removed? I don’t know! But I swear I had nothing to do with it, just like I had nothing to do with Seungkwan and Chan! I just don’t understand how can you blame me for their disappearance because of something so insignificant!”

Seungcheol opens his mouth to speak, but finds the words catch in his throat. “Insignificant,” he chokes. “Insignificant?!” He rises to his feet, towering above Wonwoo’s seated figure and leers down at him. “My entire life was shattered before my eyes! I went from driving a Porsche to taking the bus, living in a huge house on the lake to living in a tiny apartment, having a butler to scrubbing dishes to make ends meet! And you call that insignificant?!”

“I-“ Wonwoo stammers, standing up to meet Seungcheol’s height, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like-“

“Maybe it’s a difficult concept to grasp when you have billions in your bank account. But just know that this whole group’s downfall rests solely on your shoulders, Prince Wonwoo.” He spits out the younger’s name like it’s acid, making an effort to shove Wonwoo’s shoulder into the wall before storming away.

Wonwoo just stands there, stunned. He feels his fingers and toes go numb as Seungcheol’s words grate at his brain over and over, like a broken record. Maybe it is his fault, he wonders. Maybe Seungcheol’s right, and his position makes him unable to see the reality of things. Maybe he accidentally let something regarding Seungcheol’s dad’s unemployment slip to one of their friends and word caught on. He doesn’t want to consider that, but he’s one to completely absorb any and all blame, regardless of whether it’s rightfully his.

“Hey.”

A quick glance to his right, and there’s Joshua, always a valued source of comfort. “Hey, Josh,” he sighs, eyes downcast.

“Look,” Joshua says, gently turning Wonwoo’s cheek to look him in the eye. “Don’t take what Cheol said too hard. People say things they don’t mean out of fear, anger, and stress, and I think right now, it’s safe to say he’s experiencing all three.”

All Wonwoo can do is nod weakly.

“For the record, I don’t think you did it. Any of it. It’s not right, but that’s just how he deals with his emotions. Just be kind and understanding to him, and eventually he’ll realize he’s in the wrong. He’s just,” Joshua swallows, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes, “He’s so scared. We all are.”

“I know,” Wonwoo whispers.

Joshua blinks the burgeoning tears away and steps back, patting Wonwoo on the shoulder. “I think we should get some rest if there’s any hope of us finding those two. You look so tired.”

part 4 of the dead mall series <prev | next>

poll link

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(a/n) oooof im sorry this part was so long !! but now, hopefully, you have some more backstory as to the boys’ dynamic! i really love hearing all your theories, and i appreciate all of the kind words more than you know !! thank you for your support… although, the boys need it more than i do…

-mimi

[tumblunni]

OH ALSO I FORGOT TO MENTION FINALLY DENTISTLY

Im gonna be dentist in approximately 8 hours and i dont know how to sleep and i dont know how to cope with it and i dont know whatd even happen if i died in the surgery

Just strap a big piece of cardboard to my chest saying PLEASE INFORM TUMBLR OF MY FUNERAL???

Man i know its unlikely but im still paranoid cos ive never had general anesthetic before. My friend helped me by mentioning that anesthetic alleegies are usually noticed from taking milder ones like paracetamol pr ibuprofen but like AAAA WHAT IF SOMEHOW I HAVE THE RAREST AND MOST SPECIFIC UNPREDICTABLE ALLEEGY

Or what if the fuckin doctor drops a scalpel down my throat

SO MANY STUPID ILLOGICAL THINGS TO GET ANXIOUS ABOUT!!!!

And if anything im more anxious about the afterwards? I have to stay 24 hours in the hospital so they can watch over me until the anesthetic has 100% worn off and be 100% sure i'm lucid enough to walk up the stairs ro my house on my own. Annoying side effect of having abusive parents is having nobody to watch over you in situations like this. Ive gone nuts over-packing everythibg to make sure i can distract myself from the busy scaryness but i lost my headphones somewhere and i justvhope i can find some cheap ones in the shops on the drive over there. I also downloaded like every demo on the nintendo switch lol. And i packed a pokemon colouring book but i'll probably be too embarassed to use it. Definately gonna read the last few books summon-daze sent me, tho! And aaaa the only slippers i have are giant monster feet and EVEN MORE AAAA i cant be out of the closet at all. My support workers know im nonbinary but i havent done the formality of getting it registeted on the nhs yet. And you have to remove your bra anyway when you wear a hospital gown so i'd just get to wear my binder for five seconds and have to answer awkward questions. Sighhhh

So just GAHHH i hope i can get a wifi signal in my room so i could keep chatting with u guys. Otherwise im gonna be totally alone and going stir crazy! I should be able to be home by the afternoon of the 29th at least, maybe 11am if im lucky. So i'll make another post then so you all know how it went!

Aaaaagh i hope they let me keep the billion teeth of death and horror so i can take them home and smash them with a hammer to cure these years of jaw ache hell. Lol would u guys like to see if i filmed myself doing it? Im legit testing if i can lift my whole sofa to smash the damn thing. WHY CANT I SLEEP AAAAAA

[jae-daddy]

Holic (4)

Jaebum AU

one / two / three / five / six / seven

Characters: Im Jaebum x Reader

Genre: Drama, Romance, Mature

Plot: The worst thing about growing up together is that you have too much dirt on each other.

a/n: i’m a mess

Beads of sweat dripped down your forehead as you shot up in bed. Your chest heaved as your breathing struggled to return to normal. It was another nightmare; the same one but just another night. 

You reached for your phone, deciding that you were finally going to find out what your recurring dreams meant, but sighed as you changed your mind. You already had so much on your plate, the last thing you needed on it was a superstitious paranoia. 

You turned on your phone, sighing as you saw the time. It was four am, again. You sighed as you fell back into your bed. You closed your eyes trying to fall back to sleep, but the vague images from the dream repeated itself over and over, flashing different parts before you. 

After a moment of just lying there and staring at the bare ceilings, defeated, you heaved off your bed. 

You slowly opened the door, quiet as a mouse, as you peered at Jaebum’s door. There was no light peeking from underneath so you guessed he was sleeping. That made you feel relieved for some reason, but you didn’t want to explore why. 

The truth is that Jaebum scared you. He was such an arrogant, egotistical and self-absorbed prick. A complete nob if you’ve ever seen one, and it made you so mad. But there was something other than that, something that really crept under your skin. 

Whenever he would give you his devilish smile, or laugh at your remarks, something ticked inside of you. It kept on ticking every time you were near him. You wanted to find out what the trigger was, but you were also too scared to get too close to him. 

You softly closed the door behind you as you tiptoed towards the kitchen. 

Emily, your old nanny, would always give you a warm glass of milk whenever you couldn't sleep. You weren’t sure if it was a truly magically white potion that whizzed you off to sleep, or if you had made yourself believe that it was. Nonetheless, it worked, and it was better than being dependent on pills, you had decided. 

Just as you were about to reach the kitchen, you felt movement from the corner of your eye. Suddenly, the shadow became more prominent, taking shape of a real man.

A terrified scream left your lungs, as you threw yourself backwards. 

You heard the familiar chuckle of Jaebum, as you cowered against the wall. Your hands over your pounding heart. 

“Jaebum, you asshole!” You huffed, trying to calm your racing heart. 

His chuckle deepened into a laugh as you sat there frowning at him. You tried to ignore how he looked as his eyes disappeared, or the way his laugh resonated deep in your chest. Instead, you straightened yourself as you took in what he was wearing.

“Did you just get back home?” You asked, raising an eyebrow at his suit. Without waiting for an answer, you turned and began walking to the kitchen like you had planned.

Jaebum followed your suit, humming in reply. 

“Yeah, I had a wonderful, yet exceptionally long day today,” he sighed, as he leaned against the bench. “A lot of investors are wanting to sponsor the new app that we’re developing.”

Your lips curled into a smile hearing that, as you took out the milk. Your eyes darted over to Jaebum, and he smiled knowingly. The marriage was showing off its effects; it wasn’t all in vain.

“That’s great to hear,” you smiled at him, as you poured yourself a cup of milk. “Want some?” 

“I’m good, thanks,” he shook his head, before walking over to the fridge and taking out a pink coloured bottle. 

You watched him from where you were standing. 

He looked fine, good even. Nothing like a guy whose bride didn’t show up on his wedding day. He seemed like someone whose life was on track and perfect. No sign of an angry, heartbroken man you had seen before.

“How can you look so fine?” You asked, shaking your head lightly. 

Jaebum chuckled, before throwing a smirk your way. “It’s mostly in my genes, but it takes a lot of effort to have such a great body and run a multi-billion company.” 

You rolled your eyes at him, as you failed to hide the humoured smile making its way onto your lips. You pursed your lips, as you shook your head slightly.

“God, you’re insane,” you muttered, before taking a sip of your milk. 

You both silently stood there in the dimly lit kitchen. Covered in the golden hue of the few lights illuminating over you. You couldn’t see his face properly, but you could tell he was thinking of something. 

“Aren’t you upset because of her?” You asked, eyeing the milk in your cup. 

“No, not really,” he shrugged sighing, and it really did seem like he was okay. 

“You both were supposed to get married, Jaebum,” you tried. “How can you be fine?” 

“Your sister and I had an understanding,” Jaebum answered, his tone truthful and sincere, but that wasn’t enough for you. 

“Yeah,” you chuckled, “An understanding that lets you screw your secretary while you’re engaged to someone else?”

You bit your lip, as the last words left your mouth. You didn’t mean to say that, but you had wondered about it the whole day. You wondered how long Jaebum had been screwing the foolish little girl. If your sister had known, if the that was the reason why she didn’t show up. If Jaebum was really cheating on your sister.

“So is this what all this is about?” Jaebum huffed, as he rose an eyebrow in question. “God, you’re such a child.”

You stared at him in disbelief as he loosened the dark tie around his neck. 

He stood there upright and almightly like being three years older than you made him much more of an adult and human than you. 

“A child?” You sneered, your voice low. “I’m sorry, my three years younger than you brain can’t seem to comprehend how an understanding between to a soon-to-be-married couple allows them to go around and fuck their personal assistants. That kind of understanding makes no sense to me. It’s truly beyond my minuscular understanding of ethics.”

You slammed your cup on the counter in anger as your blazing eyes rested on Jaebum. You hated it when he treated you like a child. When he left you out of the circle. When he treated you like a little girl tugging on his sleeves to come play with you. 

Jaebum’s lips curled into an easy smile as he slowly walked towards you. His eyes never leaving you with every step. Your breathing fastened as he neared, but you told yourself it was the anger. You could feel that it was mostly the anger and a hint of something else. 

He stopped in front of you, less than a feet away from you. You took a step back, as your raging eyes met his dark stormy ones. Your hip hit the counter, and your hands gripped its cold granite top.

Jaebum took a step closer to you. His warm brown eyes watching you as he placed his hands on your wrist, slowly tracing them up your bare arms. His fingers curved on your shoulders, brushing the ends of your neck before gently travelling down the middle of your back. His touch causing sparks to dance up your spine. He rested his hands behind you on the counter, trapping you in his arms. 

You held your breath, as his gaze and hands touched you. 

You felt his warm breath gently hit your lips. He leaned in for a bit, inviting you for a small little taste of their softness. You turned your head to the side, not wanting to give into the wicked temptation. You avoided his intense gaze, but could still feel his eyes on you. 

Jaebum’s lips grazed the side of your neck, causing goosebumps to rise all over your body. You bit your lip, holding in any sound that would let Jaebum know of the excitement sparking inside you. Your heart was beating erratically, your chest rising and falling, as his soft lips gently touched your skin, leaving a trail of fire behind. 

His lips caressed your ear before he bit it, gently.

“This is why,” he whispered, and you closed your eyes at the feeling of his soft lips lightly touching your ear with every word. “You will never be able to be like your sister.” 

You felt a bucket of ice water be dumped over your head, numbing you out of the trance he had cast over you.

Your body froze at his words before you roughly pushed him away. You felt bile rise up your throat, as anger spiked up your spine painting your vision red.

If your eyes were raging before, now they were raining fire. 

“How dare you?” You whispered, through gritted teeth. You fisted your hands on your side, as you stared at him standing there nonchalantly. 

He knew your worst thing, your personal hell, was being your sister’s shadow. Always in her comparison, always one step behind her. Even though you were complete opposites, the whole world wanted to see how you measure up against your sister on a scale based solely on how she was.

“You know it is the truth, y/n,” he replied, the smile resting lazily on his lips.

“And you know how I am.” You challenged looking into his eyes. 

If he was going to strike at your weak spots, you were going to do the same. 

You saw Jaebum’s eyes flicker with an unknown emotion as your eyes began to burn red, with tears begging to be shed. But you didn’t cry, you won’t cry. 

You will never cry because a stupid boy likes to play dirty. 

You didn’t say anything more and just walked out of the kitchen. 

You didn’t stop until you were in the bathroom. You stood under the shower, as hard drops of warm water washed over your skin. You closed your eyes and took deep breathes to control the storm hurling inside of you. 

When you walked out of the shower, you snickered looking at the time. It was six thirty, meaning no more time to sleep. You got ready for work and planned on skipping breakfast. 

You walked past the dining room where Jaebum was seated, and a plate set out for you. 

“Y/n,” he sighed, his voice heavy, as you walked past him. You stopped in your tracks waiting for him to continue. 

“Look I should-” Before he could continue, his assistant wondered in through the doors. 

You smiled brightly at her, as you took in what she was wearing. 

“Oh my, Cynthia,” you plastered on the sweetest smile and voice. Your eyes travelled to the outfit that she was wearing which was neither appropriate nor professional enough for the secretary of a multi-billion CEO. “Aren’t you off to the conquer the world with your hard work today? Wonderful choice of clothes, by the way.”

You winked at her as you walked past her, but stopped when you were a step behind her. 

“A word of advice, Cynthia, I would start counting down my time with him if I were you,” she turned to look at you with a horrified look. You gave her a soft smile that you were taught since you were a child. 

You got into your car. You pulled out your phone and texted your assistant to put your apartment on lease. Before you could put it away, your phone buzzed in your hand. You sighed reading the message, before sending another text to Jihyo.

Look for dresses for the both of us. My mother is planning to have a dinner party tomorrow night. Excited. xx

not edited

[kpopfanfictrash]

GOT7 Introduction Post

ALRIGHT. You requested, I have written! In honor of the upcoming THOT7 comeback - may our souls be stolen and wallets be emptied.

Member by Member introduction, from oldest to youngest.

Mark Tuan, stage name: Mark. ‘93 line, rapper. Also in charge of acrobatics / fly boy stunts. From LA, USA. Quiet, very intelligent. ISTJ personality. The only one who can pull the hyung card on Jaebum and BOY, WHEN HE DOES. Sometimes pegged as the ‘bad boy’ but lol. Mark’s laugh cures evil and creates butterflies. Deep ass rap, will make you shake in your boots. I know you want me, so stop fronting.

Im Jaebum, stage name: JB. ‘94 line, vocal and leader. Korean. Also writes / releases music under Def (used to be Def Soul, soundcloud here). A tsundere hoe, to quote myself. INFJ personality. Very intelligent, typically takes a more subdued role in the group but DAMN, MEMEBUM. Don’t let the rude exterior fool you, Jaebum is a straight up meme. There are hours of footage on Youtube to prove it. Owns like, a billion cats and they all sleep in his room. OG cat is Nora. 

Jackson Wang, stage name: Jackson. (Chinese name, Wang Jia Er). From Hong Kong, China. ‘94 line, rapper. ENFJ personality. Was a nationally ranked / world class fencer until he was 17. Convinced his parents to let him audition for JYP, moved to Korea and followed his dreams of music. Speaks English, Korean, Mandarin, Cantonese and Shanghainese. Jackson is pure sunshine in addition to being the most extra variety star in existence. Will do a forward flip every chance he can. Is a gigantic mama’s boy. Would never hurt a fly.

Park Jinyoung, stage name: Jinyoung (IF YOU CALL HIM JR OR JUNIOR, HE WILL FITE U). ‘94 line, vocal and dancer. ISFJ personality. Korean. Before debuting as part of GOT7, debuted in a duo with Jaebum called JJ Project. Tied with Jaebum for first place at 2009 JYP auditions. Has melodious, beautiful falsetto. Is an actor, appeared in multiple web dramas and was the young main for Legend of the Blue Sea, in addition to the lead in the independent film, Nunbal. Writes fucking bops. Is basically good at everything, the boy to bring home to your parents. Also the man who may take over the world. Idk. I’m not biased.

Choi Youngjae, stage name: Youngjae. ‘96 line, main vocal. ISFJ personality. Korean. Only trained for 7 months before debut, POWERHOUSE vocal. Composes under the name of Ars. Often compared to an otter bc SMILEY and ADORABLE and just actual sunshine. Anyone who hurts Youngjae answers to Jaebum. Hates cucumbers. Co-owns a puppy named Coco with Mark. Constantly damaging Jackson’s hearing with his yelling.

Bambam, stage name: Bambam. ‘97 line, rapper. ESTJ personality. From Thailand, trained with JYP for three and a half years. Legal Thai name is Kunpimook Bhuwakul but is rarely used except in legal circumstances. Bambam is his name lol. ANYWAYS. Bambam has rapidly switched from adorable maknae line to fly-ass fashion mogul. Loves memes, all things pop culture and fashion. Speaks Thai, Korean and English. Loves to interact with fans, especially through Twitter. Constantly calling fans girlfriends at fanmeets, WILL DAB WHENEVER HE WANTS TO DAB.

Kim Yugyeom, stage name: Yugyeom. ‘97 line, singer and main dancer. INFP personality. Korean. Maknae. Main dancer in GOT7, performed twice on Hit the Stage and won first place the second time. Like Bambam, has transformed from adorable maknae to champion of sexy dance. Yugyeom is coming for us all. Is quiet and sweet but also loves to troll hyung line. Specifically Jinyoung and Jaebum. Is the biggest JJ Project fan in the world. One day, Jinyoung might actually kill him. 

MORE UNDER THE CUT.

So. Eras. 

Their debut single was 2014 with Girls, Girls, Girls. As you can tell, the styling is excellent. Jackson’s small piece of hair popping out of his hat is a personal fave. Thus introduced the boys to the scene though (BONUS POINTS if you spot all the future Twice members LOL)

Next GOT7 released A, which is one of my personal favorites. Yes, that is Sana. LOL ALSO THE DANCE PRACTICES FOR A ARE ADORABLE. This has been a PSA. 

GOT7′s first full album, Identify was released at the end of the year with a lead single Stop, Stop It. Otherwise known as those minions outfits. This song will get stuck in your head. THIS ALBUM IS A BOP, THO. Girl Magnetic and Moonlight are two personal favorites. 

The next summer GOT7 came back with Just Right. Actually, this is GOT7′s most watched MV on YouTube. It was also featured in the Try Guys (Buzzfeed) watch Kpop video. Famous quotes to know about JB: “While this guy doesn’t look like my wife, he makes me feel the way that my wife makes me feel.”  Truth, Ned. 

That fall, GOT7 came back with If You Do, a darker concept. Just... watch every single live stage of this. You won’t regret it. Here’s a favorite, though. In December of that year, the released yet ANOTHER EP, which included the holiday single - Confession Song. EVERYDAY from this album is amazing, thank you JB.

In March of 2016, GOT7 came back with the Flight Log Trilogy (Departure, Turbulence and Arrival). The first album, Departure was released in March. The lead single was Fly, and it was bomb af. That’s just fact. The dance practice for this was also freaking adorable. Fave tracks from this album of mine are Can’t by PARK JINYOUNG. Also Rewind.

That fall, GOT7 came back with Turbulence. The lead single for this was Hard Carry, a heavier beat than previous GOT7 songs. Crazy dance, prompted much concern by fans that Jinyoung died in the MV. Favorite songs of mine here are Prove it, Mayday, No Jam and Who’s That.

The next spring, 2017 GOT7 completed their Flight Log Trilogy with Flight Log: Arrival. The lead single for this was Never Ever. Favorite songs are Paradise, Q.

THEN JJ PROJECT CAME BACK. SUMMER 2017, FIVE YEARS AFTER THEIR FIRST EP. Jinyoung and Jaebum teamed up yet again to put out a beautiful album called Verse 2. If you haven’t listened yet, save yourself. Go listen now. The title track was Tomorrow Today, and it was amazing. Truly. 

Now GOT7 are coming back once more - GET READY FOR FOR 7FOR7

FAVORITE FANCAMS / PERFORMANCES 

My personal fave is this Jinyoung fancam of Can’t. Bless yourself.

Jaebum is also a favorite performer lol bc when JB dances, he dances for JB. This performance of Who’s Your Mama? is excellent, as is this mix. So is this performance of Honey. 

The cover of SHINHWA’s This Love is truly amazing. (JB was hurt at this time and couldn’t perform.)

Never forget baby GOT7 performing I Was Made for Dancing for an audience of middle aged women. LOOK HOW HAPPY THEY ARE. 

Also the time they collaborated with BTS at the MAMAs. 

All the performances of Q (side single to Never Ever) are adorable.

GAH, okay. That should start you off.

Variety. Holy shit. Okay, so GOT7 are kings of variety. Honestly, it’s why I adore them so much. Watch their YouTube shows, it’s GOT7 Canon. 

Real GOT7 season 1 / Real GOT7 season 2 / Real GOT7 season 3 / Real GOT7 season 4

GOT7 Hard Carry, from the fall of 2016 is also excellent. 

GOT7 has a truly awe-inspiring mini-drama series called Dream Knight, available on Netflix. I highly suggest you start with this. And then stare at your screen for several days in confusion. 

JB and Jinyoung have a reality series from their days as JJ Project called JJP Diaries, here.

ALL OF THE WEEKLY IDOL EPISODES ARE HILARIOUS AF. First appearance - 2014.  Second appearance - 2015. Third appearance (multi-group) - 2016. Fourth appearance - 2016.  Fifth appearance - 2017. Er, it’s entirely possible I left some off. Oh, well. You’ll find them. LOL 

Also watch all of their ASC episodes. It’s pure chaos. 

OKAY. THAT’S ENOUGH FOR NOW *falls down on the floor*

... here is a compilation of jinyoung being savage. here is jaebum being a meme for the duration of an entire interview in japan. here is bambam, king of girl group dances. 

OKAY, NOW I AM REALLY DONE.

[aliiimeliii]

I want it all to end. I want to just fucking not wake up. I want my brain to turn off. I already started the numbness stage. And by the time I get on medication, I’m positive my ability to feel emotions (probably except anger and fear) will go out the window all together. I have no more tears. I’m not sad. I’m devastated lol. I’m mad I’ve been stuck in this pattern and that I let it happen again. With him. To him. Why him. Like why did he ever have to fucking like me.

Ugh the stress. The fact his birthday is almost here and I can’t fucking text him happy birthday. The fucking bullshit that I caused because I drank. Because I can’t deal. I want to drink myself to sleep right now. But I’m not. Im detoxing from weed now. Bullshit there’s no detox, there is. When you rely heavily on weed for two years instead of taking meds, there’s going to be some draw backs after. Like lack of sleep. And the inability to zone out. Now my thoughts are even clearer and louder in my head. Exactly what I don’t want. But here they are. Screaming inside my brain. Love doesn’t fucking matter. The bigger picture is SO MUCH BIGGER. I know this. So why do I still peer down the peephole of “I miss my person” like come on you pathetic girl, get your head out of your ass. No one cares about you or your feelings about max. No one gives a fuck. He doesn’t give a fuck anymore. I’m willing to bet money he’s already fucking someone else. He’s probably on a rampage. Ughhhhh I fucking hate my brain and these thoughts. I want it to just stop. I want to bash my head against the wall until I’m bleeding and broken and unconscious. I want to die and have my mom suffer. Cuz all of my problems are literally a mirror image of hers, but magnified by twenty billion. Like why did you create this evil being. Why am I here. Why can’t I just not wake up. Please. Fucking god, Lucifer, universe. Whatever the fuck controls who stays and who goes. Take my fucking soul. Remove me from this plane of existence. I’ll work for you in the afterlife. Idc. Or let me just be a part of the cosmos and find peace. I don’t want to be here anymore. I can’t do it. It’s just gunna happen again in five years or whenever I give another person a chance to break me. I’m codependent. I’m worthless. I’m depressed. I’m a mess. I’ll always be a mess inside no matter how hard I try to clean myself up. Cuz I’ll always have this brain. And I’ll always think these rotten thoughts. And I’ll never let myself be happy. I wouldn’t know happiness if it was beating me in the face. I can’t make another person happy. I can’t ever have a baby and bring the risk of them having this same fucked up brain. I can’t do anything I truly want out of life so why the fuck am I here? I can’t even drink. Like I’m done. I’m just fucking done.