#im going to kill everyone

[crimeboys]

c!crimeboys they are literally just like they are best friends they are brothers they are just two assholes who managed to find each other and love each other more than anything else in the world including themselves they’re so fucked up they’re so miserable they are a light in each other’s dark even when they’re the one blocking out the other’s sun they just want to be together fighting and laughing and hanging out by each others sides and even a universe away at the end of the day it was all for each other a nation a home a fucking LIFE

[evanox]

hi does anyone have tips on how to calm down after your professor says something so fucking stupid that's so easily disproven by a simple google search bc at this rate i think my colon is going to pop

[paleode-ology]

NO THEY DIDNT THEY DUCKING DIDNT YOURE JOKING YOURE KIDDING WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK NONONONONONONPNONONONONONONONO WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT WHAT THE AFYUAL FUCKING SHIT WHAT THE HELL ABSOLUTEKY NOT NO THAT DID NOT FUCKING HAPPEN WHAT THE HELL DAVID JENKINS YOU FUCKING TWAT YOU SON OF A BITCH IM GOING TO FUCKING MURDER YOU

[bibleofficial]

on the plane in my seat i’m literally holding crutches i’ve taken my 4 benadryl i’m flight ready

[rayis-psychotic]

Why do I feel like I want to fucking die. Like there's no reason to feel this way.

[noritaro]

i just realized that the Onceler unironically fits into the IRL friend groups inside joke (for lack of better words) "the Nori sexyman/babygirl/meow meow requirements"

[rosasappho]

realizing that come to me is in the overture, laudanum and arsenic, and for a young violinist…..

[benreyfaggot]

hot take but i think public indecency is bad

[oars]

[regigigaz]

My tummy kind of hurts right n9w

[bluerosefox]

Mama Bat

There was a baby in the Batcave.

There was a baby in the Batcave.

There was a glowing, white haired, Lazarus green eyed baby floating in the freaking Batcave!

A baby that was currently wearing a superhero themed footy pajamas and making tiny circles in the air as they coo and make spit bubbles.

A baby Cass had found while on patrol... in Hong Kong before suddenly and somehow appearing in Gotham. In the Batcave.

Along with them, sitting innocently on the batcomputer chair was a baby bag (themed after Black Bat somehow) full of everything a baby needed a glowing green sticky note with purple handwriting on it.

'Cassandra Cain-Wayne

Take care of our little Ghostling. Everything will make sense in due time.

P.S Daniel enjoys the stars.

-CW'

By the time Bruce finished reading the note aloud, Cass had manged to get a hold of the baby who was making happy noises and patting her cheek.

And a second later a blinding light overtook the baby and once the light was gone, the baby now had black hair and bright blue eyes.

[lunarsapphism]

wish my family (particularly my sister) would actually fucking knock on my door before coming into my room !! the whole they're just suddenly in my room and i go "what the fuck please knock" and they're like "i did" no you didn't! if it wasnt loud enough for me to hear and actually tell you yeah you can come in then no you did not knock!! thats how that shit is supposed to work! not tiny little taps that i cant hear and then you just open my door whether i said something or not. oh my fucking god. i was sleeping. just cause you assumed i was up cause everyone else is does not mean i actually was

[mingyusbinch]

REST IN PEACE, DEAR MOONBIN (1998-2023)

[dizzybizz]

"this is regrettably the best kiss of your life, you understand?"

[heartorbit]

i just wanted to draw the ave mujica outfits .

[amygdalae]

Every time a customer says "well its for a boy" when i ask which wrapping paper they want I should he allowed to kill them