#im going to jump and slam down through that mf

[platinumshawnn]

trying to write this next chapter and it’s already feeling so short and shit, if it continues this way I’m going to put myself through my kitchen table

[nicksolemnlyswears]

WASH YOUR WORRIES AWAY

pairing: opla!buggy the clown x reader

word count: 2.8k

warnings: 18+, cursing, oral (male receiving), p in v, honestly this one is pretty tame but it's cute <3

a/n: hi hi hi! im back with my bullshit! no but this one is really fucking sweet (maybe a tad cheesy at the end). i had the idea for a while so i was really happy to see that he people of tumblr voted for this choice on the poll.

i started this being super naughty with sanji and zoro and now look at me being a doll with buggy and mihawk (which is strange cause they can easily be the kinkiest mfs).

so i think im gonna write another oneshot for buggy in the near future. maybe one for nami and then i'm gonna go back and write the third part for the sanji x reader x zoro. that's gonna be real fucking interesting. it'll be my first time writing a threesome so wish me luck!

thank you guys for reading and putting up with my wild imagination!!

(as always my psa that this is solely based on the live action)

Buggy the Clown stomps into the Jolly Roger angrily. His crew is nowhere to be found on the empty deck. He expected them to be awake, running around, making plans to get their Captain back. Instead, they are snoozing in the rooms of his ship, shielding themselves from the cold ocean breeze.

Buggy mutters insults towards his freaks under his breath. The lot of them should freeze for all he cares. The fishmen kidnapped him, and all they're doing is getting their fucking beauty sleep. He's starting to believe he wasn't missed.

He beelines to the Captain's quarters, where he finds a pretty sight welcoming him. You're on his side of the bed, peacefully asleep. Buggy intentionally slams the door behind him, rudely waking you up from your slumber.

You jump at the bang and sit up, looking alarmed at the intrusion. "Buggy!" You gasp, relieved to see him, "You're back!"

You and the freaks have been working nonstop on keeping the ship afloat and searching for its Captain. You've barely rested in weeks, tracking down Arlong and his crew.

Today, you finally found the location of Arlong Park and set sail. You stopped an island away to let the freaks rest before marching into battle. They will need it to beat the fishmen or at least make enough damage to get Buggy out.

"No thanks to you and my useless crew," Buggy bites, throwing his coat to the side dramatically. At least his theatrics were not hurt while he was away.

You stand from the bed and approach him softly. He's like a wounded animal that might bolt at any second.

"That's not fair. You know we were on our way," you softly say, feeling bad about his harsh tone. Buggy loves to tease you and push your buttons, but it's not often he's genuinely angry at you.

"Taking your sweet ass time, it seems," he cries out, gesturing at the door as if referring to his sleeping crew.

You let it go and decide not to continue arguing. He's physically and emotionally wounded. Not to mention his ego. You stand centimeters away and grab his gloved hand, "Let me make it up to you, Bugs."

Being this close, you can assess his appearance closely. His makeup is smeared more than usual; it's faded on some parts as his blue stubble breaks through the white face paint, and his eyes look defeated.

"Yeah, make it up to me. Let's see what you come up with," he says sarcastically, letting your hand fall from his grasp. His words might drip with sarcasm, but they are a plea for help in disguise. So you pay him no mind, knowing that by the end of the night, you'll have him like putty in your hands. Only to rebuild him back into the Buggy the Clown you know and love and the Marines fear.

"I'll be right back." You tell him, leaving the room momentarily. You return minutes later with a freak who pushes a wooden tub behind you with steaming water. The freak barely spares a glance at Buggy, scared that the clown might lash out at him.

Closing the door once he leaves, you prepare the water with oils and fragrances. Buggy watches from afar, sitting on the wooden chair he has in his room. He's used to hunching on it for hours, examining his maps, and executing master plans for the next big adventure. He likes looking over his shoulder to watch you sleep peacefully as insomnia grabs hold of him. It brings him peace.

"Come 'ere, Bugs," you say, grabbing his hand to help him up. Buggy grumbles in protest despite looking forward to the bath. "Let me take care of you," you whisper, looking up at him. You place your hand on his chest in comfort.

"I don't need you to take care of me. I'm a grown ass man," Buggy gruffs out, avoiding your gaze. It's not like he's felt like a man in the past few weeks as he's been carried around in a sac as a mere head while his body was beaten constantly by the fishmen. It was degrading and made him feel extremely weak.

You roll your eyes at him but play along, "You're right. You are a grown, strong man. Will you indulge me, though? It'll make me feel better seeing you're okay."

Buggy finally meets your eyes and nods, "For you."

There's no reason for him to say no. You're the person that knows him best in this world. You probably know what he's feeling without him telling you in the first place. Still, he acts difficult because he's bratty like that and because sometimes he has a hard time understanding you're there for him no matter what, with no ulterior motive.

You softly smile at him and pat his chest. Your hands trail up to the scarf tied around his neck, and your fingers swiftly undo the knot. You throw it on the bed as you continue down his chest, reaching the buttons of his vest.

Buggy watches you closely as you concentrate on undoing the buttons. Your touch never lifts from his skin for more than a second, granting him the pleasure of feeling your soothing touch after many weeks.

The vest falls on the floor as you push it back over his shoulders. Fingertips tickle his arm as you reach his hand to take off one of his gloves. Your eyes timidly meet his as you plant a small kiss on his palm.

Before he met you, he never thought such a minuscule action could mean so much. Now, he craves it often. It's your way of saying 'I love you,' seeing as Buggy is not good with words. You give him options to show his love, and that's priceless to him.

Your curious eyes have already taken in all his bruises and minor cuts. There's no doubt Arlong's men had been beating him up. You don't bring them up, knowing Buggy will close up again. He'll talk when he's ready.

You kneel on the floor, helping him off his boots, and quickly after, you get rid of his pants, too. You guide a butt-naked Buggy to the tub, ordering him to get in.

"Ohh," Buggy bites back a moan as the warm water soothes his aching muscles. The smell of eucalyptus wafts up to his nose. It's his favorite scent because it's the one you used when you met.

"Would you like me to wash your hair?" You ask him, untying the knot on his head scarf.

"You said you were gonna take care of me. Do whatever you want, sweet cheeks," he knows you've already made your decision, as his hair is already down before he can respond. You beam at the nickname, knowing your Buggy is softening up.

His bright blue hair falls down his back and into the water. Grabbing a jug, you fill it with water and softly tell Buggy to tilt his head back. The water cascades down his head, wetting his hair and turning it a beautiful deep teal.

Buggy opens his eyes and sees your calm expression as you concentrate on not getting any water on his face. A small fraction of his anger chips away, seeing how much you care for him. Only you'd know he hates the feeling of water pouring down his face.

You grab oils from your selection and brush them through his hair, ridding him of any sand and grime stuck in it. Buggy involuntarily closes his eyes as you massage his scalp with the tip of your fingers. A mixture of a sigh and moan falls from his lips.

When his hair is clean and untangled, you grab the bar of soap and a sponge to clean his body. Your eyes are attentive to any bruise or cut, careful not to hurt him any more than he is.

You notice his neck is quite stiff as you spread the soap suds across his back, so you spend some time massaging the area. You dig your thumbs into the tension knots, causing Buggy to become more vocal, groaning and moaning whenever you hit a spot that needs extra care.

Moving to kneel beside the tub, you wash his chest and stomach. Buggy simply stares as you focus on getting every speck of dirt off of him. Any other day, he'd be making you laugh and throwing inappropriate jokes, but the time didn't seem right to him. So, he kept quiet and observed how you tried to hide your grimaces whenever you encountered a nasty bruise.

You massage his knees when you get to his legs because you know they hurt. Buggy might not complain about any pain, but you know the chop chop fruit makes his joints ache when he uses his abilities.

As the dirt is washed away from his body, so does his anger. He's sure that by the end of the bath, he won't be any better than a harmless puppy, and that's all you wanted. Buggy needs to let go of the anger he harbors inside so he can come back stronger than ever and lead the crew to its next adventure, whatever that may be.

You leave his face for last. You're the only person on earth who has the honor and pleasure of cleaning his face free of its makeup. Carefully, you wipe away with a rag the grease paint covering his handsome face. There's layer upon layer of paint staining his skin. A splash of blue over his eyes, red on the corner of his lips, white on his hairline. You wipe away each layer until you're able to see your Buggy. Not Buggy the Clown.

"There you are," you smile, cupping his face. Buggy's hand comes up to encase yours to simply kiss your palm. Beautiful blue eyes stare back at you shyly. Without all the makeup, he tends to feel more self-conscious about his nose.

"You know I was coming for you, right?" You ask him to make it clear you never intended to abandon him.

"I know, Princess," he says, leaning further into your touch. Your thumb brushes over his stubble before you pull back your hand. A soft protest leaves him.

"Let's get you out," you murmur, helping him out of the bath. You tell him to stay where he is as you fetch the towel.

Once you start something, you have to finish it. With the same love and care, you dry Buggy's body, kissing his bruises as you go along. You get on your knees to dry his legs as well.

It's a very intimate position you're in. Buggy's manhood is right in front of your face. He's looking down with hooded eyes, waiting for your next move. He'll go as far as you want to go tonight.

Having him away for so long, you can't resist kissing around his pubic bone. You avoid touching his cock for now as you tease him, looking up at him innocently.

His length begins to harden as you keep brushing your lips all around his thighs and pubic area, but not where he needs to feel you most. You notice his fists clenching as he holds back from grabbing your head and placing it exactly where he wants.

Finally, your lips kiss his length, all the way from the base to the tip. That alone gets all of his blood to surge down to his cock. You continue this torturous pace for too long, teasing the tip of his cock with your tongue.

"Fuck, Princess," Buggy groans, looking into your eyes.

He's tired. He's been away for weeks. Despite wanting to fall on his bed and die for the next ten hours, his need to have you wins out. So, with the energy boost you gave him with the bath, he grabs your arm and pulls you up.

There will be time for you to suck his cock another time. Now, he needs to feel you as close as humanly possible. Buggy grabs your face and presses his lips against yours.

He kisses you deeply and sloppily, tasting your minty lip balm. He hunches over you as you lean back, overwhelmed by the sudden display of affection. Kissing him back just as fiercely as your arms wrap around his sides, pulling yourself closer.

His hand leaves your cheek to tug on the strings of your night dress and push it off your shoulders. The falling fabric tickles your skin as you're left just as exposed as he is.

Buggy grips your breasts, your sides, your thighs, and your ass. All to feel you so fucking close to him. He doesn't care if he's suffocated by you. After weeks of being tortured, all he wants is to feel your soft, caring touch.

You push Buggy back into the bed, and you tumble down with him as his hold on you is unrelenting. You won't be leaving his side tonight. Buggy sits in the center of the bed with you on his lap, grinding against his length.

"Fucking adore you," Buggy breathes, digging his head on your shoulder to leave kisses there, "and the way you take care of me."

"I'll always take care of you, Buggy," you tell him, cupping his jaw so you can look into his eyes, "You're mine. I gotta take care of what's mine, okay?"

A whine comes out of him as he nods at your words. He kisses your palm again, telling you everything you need to know. Buggy leans his forehead against yours. Something he had to get used to at the beginning due to the fact your noses also touch, but right now, it's the farthest thing on his mind. Having you close is his number one priority.

You line his cock with your entrance and slowly sink into it. You watch Buggy's face contort into one of pleasure as his mouth slightly gapes and his eyebrows furrow. You start bouncing softly, being mindful to be gentle with his aching body. Meanwhile, he grabs into your hips, helping you along, his fingers digging into you, afraid this is all a dream, and you'll go away.

There's no way this is a dream. You feel too warm and tight around him for it not to be real.

Buggy's arms encase your body as he pulls you flush against him. Chest to chest. Stomach to stomach. It doesn't matter that it makes it harder for you to move on top of him. Buggy drags his short nails down your back, relishing the heat of your skin. It's not with the intent to hurt but to feel you close.

You keep your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling at the roots just how he likes it. You've resorted to grinding on his lap, as that's how much movement he allows you. His eyes bore into yours, depicting so many emotions he can't begin to comprehend, much less talk about. But it's enough for the two of you.

You peck his lips and ask, "You doing okay?"

Buggy nods and whispers, "I'm doing fucking perfect." He steals a kiss and another and another. Each kiss you let him steal gets progressively longer until he has his tongue in your mouth, tasting you.

The grind of your hips is enough to bring him to the edge. With a warning to your lips, Buggy spills inside of you. He revels in the level of closeness that brings. You play with his hair as he rests his head on your chest, catching his breath.

You need not say anything. It's a moment of vulnerability, and you let him have it. Buggy is resetting and pulling himself together back to the person he usually is.

That night, you sleep naked with Buggy basically on top of you. His head rests on your chest as he falls asleep listening to your heartbeat, and you hold him all throughout the night.

Except, when you wake up, he's gone. As your senses fully wake up, you notice the boat rocking. You've already set sail. Quickly, you get ready and go out onto the deck.

"About time you woke up, Sweet Cheeks!" Buggy yells from the helm, standing by the ship's wheel. The sun beams on Buggy's face, the familiar makeup freshly painted on his face. "It's time to get to work. I have some pirates to deal with."

"Yes, Captain!" You say, which earns you a sneaky wink from Buggy. With a soft laugh, you shake your head and walk through the ship to help the freaks with whatever they might need.

With you by his side, there is nothing Buggy can't overcome.

[dr4kenlvr]

𝐓𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍—𝐄𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐄!

feat. toman boys [mikey, draken, baji, kazutora, chifuyu, pah-chin & takemitchi] + gn!reader - crack (0.9k+)

request: thanks 😭 so its probably not very unique but i've never seen tokyo revengers escape room fics and im sure it would be really chaotic to get in one especially with the toman first gen boys hehe

nana's note: LMFAOOO i would pay money to see baji in an escape room, i don't think anything could beat that on a comedic level, sorry kei :p !!! also i have like ZERO experience w/ escape rooms so im kinda talking out of my ass—i hope things make sense 🫶 👍

this would genuinely be so, so fucking chaotic i can't even guys LMAOOO

they're all so ready to go and crack the case and escape real fast because "chifuyu's with us, and like, draken too i guess."

"OH, YOU GUESS?" -draken, with a vein bulging out his temple

you and the guys decided that the easiest way to do this was to split up into pairs and look for clues/hints together

here's a breakdown: mikey + draken, pah + mitsuya, kazutora + baji + chifuyu, you + takemitchi

"thank fucking god i'm paired up with mitsuya 'cause my shit for brains ain't gonna do much with kazutora." -pah with a triumph smile

"PAH???? PLEASE??" -kazutora in complete disbelief

"AHAHAHHA—WAIT, SHIT HE'S IN MY GROUP." -baji, with his hair tied up because he's fucking ready

chifuyu is rubbing his temple at this point

"WE'RE ALL IN THE SAME ROOM, SHUT THE FUCK UP." -mitsuya with a growing headache

"guys we need to start the clock is fucking ticking!!!" -you, as mikey, draken, and takemitchi are DYING of laughter

the staff have to settle you all down and explain the rules, time limits, and hint system before letting you into the room with a final cheerful 'good luck!'

the group laughs out loud as pah and mikey somberly wave goodbye to the crew, eyes fixed on the door shutting with a loud SLAM and lock

the group of you gape as you walk around the humongous room filled with props and setups that resembled a haunted mansion of an older era - it was quite beautiful really, but something about it made you and takemitchi shiver

first thing everyone noticed, was the huge closet that was locked and required a specific code to undo the chains that held it tightly shut

it was evident that the task was to find out a code somehow, and so each pair began investigating the room

some spoke up when they came across something of mild interest—only to find out it served no real purpose

mikey keeps on mentioning that they should ask for a clue but baji and kazutora claimed they didn’t want to look like pussies just 20 minutes in

a few moments later, chifuyu notices papers sticking out of certain books along the walls; he collects them all and shows his partners to which baji screeches:

“GUYS!!!! THERE’S A BUNCH OF LETTERS HERE!!” 

he waves the pile like a flag and kazutora’s jumping up and down in excitement, shaking baji’s shoulders with a grin

chifuyu, who actually found the letters: lmfao k den bitch

the rest of the group huddles together and split up the letters to read

draken suggests that the numbers hidden within the letters are important for the code: “maybe there’s a specific sequence of some kind? each letter has one number.”

mitsuya’s head perks up and he leaves the group to rummage through something at the back—pah is all like “where are you going? wait where are you going, mitsuya please tell me where you’re going.” BECAUSE THIS MF IS SO LOST LMAOOO

“i found this collection of stamps by the coffee table, each one has a number on it but they’re not numerical order” mitsuya says, offering the box to takemitchi’s open hands

he picks each one up and inspects it closely, the stamps were from 1-5 but as mitsuya had mentioned, they weren’t in order

kazutora grabs them out of takemitchi’s hand with a cheeky grin, “MAYBE they correspond with the numbers in the letters?”

he puffs his chest out, before baji slams his palm flat on it with “YEAH, no shit sherlock. it doesn’t take a fucking genius to assume that.”

everyone just bursts out in laughter as kazutora physically deflates and lays on the ground: “fine, then you guys solve it.”

everyone shoots out possible strategies and solutions, but none of them work out every time you attempt to change the numbers

and baji gets so irritated and starts complaning like "god damn this shit is so hard it's making my ponytail fall apart" LIKE WHAT???

then there's pah: “BRO MY ASS HURTS LIKE HELL!”

“??? then stand up ????” -draken and mitsuya

“WHY WOULD I STAND UP WHEN YOU ARE ALL SITTING DOWN, I’M APART OF THIS TOO.”

you laugh, shaking your head at your friends

but you also find yourself getting increasingly irked as time ticks by

“uhhh you sure we’re not missing something?”

“i don’t know! why don’t you go ask an expert, idiot?”

“EXACTLY!” mikey yells, “let’s ask an expert,” he winks, signalling with his head to the big, bright red clue button on the wall

“it wouldn’t hurt right?” he scrunches his nose, trying to work his so-called adorable looks on the rest of the group

everyone looks around, and no one lets out a single complaint

mikey squeals as he stands, sauntering over to the other side of the room

and just as he raises his hand to press on the button, a loud alarm calls:

“TIME LIMIT REACHED, ESCAPE FAILED. YOU MAY NOW EXIT UPON STAFF INSTRUCTION.”

THE LOOK ON EVERYONE’S FACES IS JUST FUCKING (⊙⊙)(☉_☉)(⊙⊙)

I CAN NOT

everyone is just sitting down like a bunch of ducks staring at the door which is about to open

“WAIT WHAT THE FUCK? NOOOOO—”

“hi everyone! hope you enjoyed playing, you may now exit and grab your belongings from the cubbies outside. please come and try again next time!” 

ya’ll just fucking walk out like a bunch of sad children who couldn’t prove themselves smart enough despite having NINE PEOPLE AHFHADFJSD

“wow that was so fun, so uh can we get food now please i’m starving.”

“MIIIIKEEEY!!!!” -everyone

sigh, maybe go to an arcade next time or something <3

taglist: @dai-tsukki-desu @kazuhoya @gwynsapphire @sscarchiyo @reiners-milkbiddies @smileyswifeyy @bontensimp-blog @thisbicc @megumisemo (send me an ask or dm to be added!)

reblogs and comments are very appreciated!

[sailorhyunjinz]

Imagine skz realizing their s/o reads smuts about them .... sksksksksk

PLEASE I SO WANNA DO A HEADCANON ON THIS 

LEZ GO HEADCANON/REACTION (i swear i know the difference i just dont know what to call these LMAO)

Warnings; SMUT!!! mentions of rough sex, mentions of pegging, mentions of threesomes, mentions of degredation, sub/dom!skz x gn!reader

bangchan

“o-oh”

he just needed to check the weather on your phone or smth

but was instead greeted by hardcore smut with him choking and fucking the reader

I MEAN,,, HE KNEW 

BUT STILL VERY SHOCKED 

“why dont you read the cute like fluffy stuff? like going on dates by the beach or getting a dog together or something?” 

you try to act innocent like “read? i do read book with those themes if you didnt kn-”

“no i mean the things about me”

realisation just HIT 

“chan,,, how much did you read??”

“maybe like 3 or 4 pieces, all very rough??”

smile through the pain, you’re busted and theres nothing you can do about it lmao

minho

“here i am,,, thinking my partner was so excited over news articles but no,,, oh no they reading about wanting to dom me. never baby”

he says it in such a serious tone so you’re cracking up, half embarrassed, half amused.

but he doesnt even blink

“also why the fuck does changbin get to fuck but im stuck jerking off in a random ass corner?”

so defensive

justice for minho in fics

starts judging how its written

“the writer doesnt describe my handsome face?”

changbin

“Y/N!!! COME HERE!!”

you skip into the room, your buff boyfriend sitting infront of your computer scrolling through a smut post you hadn’t bothered clicking down

“this is pretty hot not even gonna lie”

you punch him playfully on the shoulder but it doesnt make him move an inch

“c-can you not?! thats invasion of private property!!”

“ ’ah fuck yes changbin, im yours’ doesnt sound like private property”

you slam the computer screen shut and walk out but he grabs your wrist

“do,,, do you wanna try?”

“try what?”

“you know,,, recreate those,,,”

hyunjin

“b-but im right here?”

so confused??

like why would you need to read about having sex with him

WHEN HE WAS THERE??

rolls his eyes and starts making fun of you 

“y/n wants to be called a whore!!”

but then discovers smth really kinky that you like

idk like being tied up or restrained or smth

eyebrow wiggle 

“hey y/n i just wanna test something” 

you’re cooking food and you nod

he takes both of your hands behind your back and CLICK

mf had handcuffs behind his back 

“WH- HYUNJIN WHERE DID YOU EVEN-?”

he leans in real close to your ear, pressing his chest against your back

“dumb baby didn’t know that i would have found out, hm? reading those dirty things behind my back every night”

jisung

“my dick is not small”

you’re like wtf,,, he just says it randomly while you were grabbing a snack from the kitchen

“in that story you’re reading, it says that i have a small dick”

FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU LEFT THE DAMN PHONE UNLOCKED

you cant even say anything, you just frozen, with a packet of crisps in your hands

“what more stories are there of me? are there any with me and a big dick?”

“JISUNG, SHUT UP”

felix

GIGGLY BOY

he vibes with it but kinda pouty because why didnt you tell him what you wanted to do in bed

baby starts worrying that maybe he’s not good enough :((

highkey loves the sub fics OOP

“y/n, i wanna try this”

he says, showing you a fic about him getting pegged/buttfucked

you’re all like static tv noises at first cause how the fuck did he even find out

but ya know,,,, it opened door ;))

seungmin

“do you want to fuck my bandmates?”

bruh you choke on your mf water

“w-wha? why would i-”

“especially jisung, theres just countless links of jisung smut in your history”

you’re impressed over how calm he is?? 

“s-smut? pffft,,, i dont read that,,,”

he pulls out his phone cause he took a picture of what you were reading and you just wanted to sink underground and stay there forever.

“I quote; ‘jisung grabbed his leaking cock an-”

“IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY I WAS JUST CURIOUS, SPARE MY EARS”

he just chuckles, looking up from his phone with his sharp eyes

“should be me instead...”

jeongin

“wait is that the new volume of that manga?”

he says all pouty before he jumps on top of you, you lying on your stomach on the bed, deep into the story until you scrolled down and boom

the smexy scenes started ;)))

you quickly scroll up again but he’s all like;

“wait scroll down,,, im pretty sure i saw my name”

he grabs the phone out of your hand and runs away

“WAIT PEOPLE WRITE THIS ABOUT ME?!”

flops down on the floor out of embarrassment 

and you flop down on top of him

just a pile of embarrassment

[mount-st-helens-fancam]

I’m losing my goddamn mind. Swim team au time (part 1/??)

I’ve been doing competitive swimming for 8 goddamn years (5 winter, 3 summer) and istg I’ve made swim team aus for every fandom I’ve been in since then. It’s a problem. 

uhhhh for anyone who cares about the specifics: there’s like 3-4 ish separate teams, each w members of different mcyt circles (hermitcraft, speedrunners, dsmp, hypixel etc etc). It’s based on my region’s setup (kinda) where there's winter maintenance then the summer season w all the meets. there's no qualifying for regionals, just provincials/states whatever you wanna call it idk i’m Canadian

ANYWAYS HERE’S THE SCUFFED MCYT ONE I’VE HAD IN MY NOTES FOR LIKE A MONTH EHE

-Tommy is a sprinter ok

Lanky man cannot do breast lmaoooooo too much limb

Complains about kick no matter the distance they have to do

Steals his lanemates’ pullbuoys

GETS DQ’D FOR FALSE STARTS CONSTANTLY

Somehow always manages to either A) get his hand stuck in the lane ropes or B) slam his heel into the gutter (that shit HURTS)

+++++

-Tubbo absolutely does back I can feel it in my BLOOD

Enjoys suicide turns way too much

The type To basically glide through the first 75 of a 100 then sPRINT THE REST 

Constantly misreads sets and ends up doing kick instead of drill 80% of the time

“You can pry these fins out of my cold dead hands, motherfucker”

Loves leading cheers, whenever he leads w Tommy they get everyone else to go hog-fucking-wild 

+++++

-Ranboo kinda does everything, specialty is 400 free

Kinda fucks w/ IM too

Writes his heats/lanes EVERYWHERE

Arms, heatsheets, side of his bag etc

The only one who always has his water bottle. Hydrate or diedrate bitch

Would rather die than jump in first during mornings 

He wore clear goggles on One occasion and got so disoriented he swam into the wall 

+++++

-Techno also does everything ?? Actually vv good at breast though. Definitely his best stroke 

Always ends up on region medley relay and usually fistfights whoever is doing free (unless it’s Phil, then he swims a PB) 

Sleeps through activation at meets

All his gear is pink by now, he has the pink tie dye bag it slaps so hard vv

He’s relatively tall but even if he wasn’t he’d be scary as fuck 

This man does NOT need a height advantage with his kick being as strong as it is 

+++++

-Wilbur,, man. Free and/or back, mid-long distance 

The one who brings a Bluetooth speaker to meets and dryland. Does not let anyone play their music (except for Eret but that’s a special case)

Can and absolutely will kill a man to get his own lane at practice (lmao same)

Unlucky alternate probably?? He comes either 4th or 9th CONSTANTLY

Flexes his height advantage CONSTANTLY like sir please stop I know you out-touched that guy in lane 3 

+++++

-Phil?? Not a coach cuz I have no fucking clue what coaches do

The only mf who willingly does fly aND ENJOYS IT

Hoards caps. They’re not even his dude (he likes trading w swimmers from other clubs at meets so they end up confusing everyone)

Usually ends up on the same medley relays as Techno, it’s kinda funny how often

Bullies teammates into actually taking care of themselves during hell week

“DRINK THAT FUCKING WATER OR I SWEAR TO GOD IM PUNTING YOU INTO THE DIVE TANK”

+++++

-Niki is the Lord of IM I swear on my LIFE

Does neg splits every goddamn time it’s incredible ??? Teach me your ways 

Lends out goggles when her teammates forget/break theirs

Turns are faster than dives, always 

Her back underwaters go farther than her free/fly ones and nobody knows how she doesn’t get water in her skull

Intimidating as FUCK behind the blocks it’s actually terrifying 

+++++

-Purpled will find anything to complain about in any practice, hands down

Free sprint/mid distance ? Choice is usually fly though

Cares way too much about milliseconds on results sheets

Gets cucked out of 4x50 relays CONSTANTLY 

Does Not Shake Hands

Either shows up to every practice in the week or comes to one [1] evening and skips dryland. No in between 

+++++

-Punz,,, basically tanks everything 

By that I mean he’s an ex-winter who retained endurance 

Sprints 200s w no regret

Has worn his chain in practice before. It was on purpose 

Fights over who gets to lead lanes, usually it’s against Sapnap to be Honest

Gets a new suit every season and keeps the old ones at the bottom of his bag

Bites his medals . Always (it’s actually disgusting medals taste awful dude wtf /lh)

+++++

-Dream- you’re on thin fucking ice 

Sneaky little second kicks during pullouts, he keeps getting dq’d for them but it’s a habit by now lmao idiot

He hates breast though. Deadass will only race it to compete w Techno (he loses every time)

More of a free/IM man tbh

WAY too picky about the pool water at out of town meets

Has no less than six different racing suits 

+++++

-George does back everyone shut the fuck up

Absolutely refuses to sub in on relays outside of his div 

Has had the same pair of goggles for at least five years

Always. ALWAYS walks around with two towels and a parka at outdoor meets especially

Everyone loves pushing him in because of his reaction (understandable)

Complains about Wilbur’s height advantage when they’re in the same heat/final\

+++++

-Sapnap is the definition of a summer swimmer 

This mf cannot swim anything over like. 400m without stopping and complaining

HOWEVER HAVE YOU SEEN HIS 50 FREE. 

“Breathing is for pussies lol” [proceeds to breath a 0-1 and choke on finishing wake] 

Fights with Punz over lane leading

He’s the one that pushes George into the pool !

+++++

-Bbh!!! Kinda Niki’s counterpart in terms of IM prowess

However he usually heavily leans on free for good times, his breast is kinda iffy ngl (also understandable)

Team mom 2: electric boogaloo

“SAPNAP DONT PUSH GEORGE INTO THE POOL”

The only one who ever has conditioner in his bag at all times 

Lmao imagine having prescription goggles couldn’t be me puts on my goggles to see the board

Less violent team dad than Phil but has still threatened Sapnap into going to bed at a reasonable time before meets 

+++++

-Skeppy cried when he had to do a 1500 during hell week it was hilarious 

But seriously this man refuses to swim distance under ANY circumstance 

Also cannot read analog clocks cuz he swam at a pool w a digital one for a while 

Does the shampoo commercial hair flip at the end of every practice 

Complains VERY LOUDLY about his racing suit and how tight it is, yet refuses to get another brand

D O L P H I N D I V E S F O R C O O L D O W N 

+++++

-Ant still does not know how he ended up as a swimmer it’s hilarious 

“THE WATER IS COLD :[” “IT'S A COMPETITION POOL????”

Kinda scary good at 200 free it’s really strange 

It’s such an obscure race but he pops the FUCK off every time 

“What were my 100 splits?” “1:03.9 and 1:03.5 what the FU C K”

Kinda (very) overdramatic when it comes to sprint sets lmao 

He actually loves doing relays w younger swimmers it’s very cute

 +++++

-SAM STOP FLEXING YOUR REACH CHALLENGE?? 

Srsly he’s almost as bad as Wilbur 

Same as Punz, he’s an ex-winter swimmer who is insanely good at 400 IM ????? Jesus Christ that race is BRUTAL

W/ summer he just races 200 though and still qualifies for provs every season smh

Every time he needs new goggles he gets the exact same pair it’s those like. Mirrored gold/navy ones I think I have a pair

+++++

-Ponk has free/breast energy I do not take criticism 

[sinks to the bottom of the pool and misses the entire set explanation]

“Your Singapore drill looks like a glorified doggy paddle lmao” “That’s what it is, you bitch”

Has that black arena bag w orange and red flowers

Loves piggybacking their teammates around, even when they get yelled at by the lifeguards

+++++

-Foolish is very very strong but kinda oblivious to it??

Like he’ll swim a 27.2 50 fly and be like :]] I didn’t see the scoreboard, how was my turn btw?? Kinda felt like it was a bit slow aha

Super super sweet though, ALWAYS wishes people good luck even if he doesn't know them

He does know everyone though its kinda funny he’ll go to a meet and be surrounded by juniors from different clubs wanting a piggyback

+++++

-Hannah !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Absolute backstroke QUEEN

She does NOT need height, her stroke rate is so strong and so high she’s just CRACKED

Listens to music behind the blocks and dances around to warm up

[aggressively does leg swings]

Somehow has perfect eyeliner even after getting out of the pool

Best relay leader ever istg she’s like a good luck charm; all of her medley relays get top 4 EZ

+++++

-Puffy kinda has free energy tbh

I feel like swimming is her second sport?? Mayb she does like. Soccer or something on the side

Either way its great cross training because she’s the only one willing to anchor 4x50 free relays every time

She is SO unlucky w caps it seems like she splits one every month feelsbadman

Team dad #3, rivals Phil in violent caring-ness

+++++

-Quackity is here for a good time, man

Somehow both incredibly competitive and super laid back

Best cheerleader in the club!! He loves leading w Karl and they alternate w Tommy n Tubbo often

Surprisingly great at fly tbh

Lovingly harasses rivals from other clubs and also his teammates <333

“Ehe I forgot my fins can I have a slower pace time,, :]]”

He does not get the slower pace time. This is the fourth practice in a row Quackity

+++++

-Karl is basically on the same page as Quackity they r the same person in different fonts

Best stroke is well uh. IM!! Out of IM tho…. Breast definitely 

Rarely shows up to morning practices (understandable)

HOWEVER he comes to every meet and brings the fucking positivity !!!! chad energy 

Changes up his suit style a lot

“Where the fuck did you manage to find a gold metallic speedo” “Let’s just say the HYSC ppl have Taste, unlike you”

+++++

-Fundy throws the fuck down in back I swear on GOD

However. HOWEVER. He Cannot do breast to save his life.

Outer lane curse outer lane curse outer lane curse

“WHY DO I KEEP ENDING UP IN LANE 1 I HATE IT HERE”

He’s the type to miss a best time by a hundredth of a second rest in peace

Equally as unlucky as wilbur 

+++++

-Someone please ban Eret from IM races they’re stealing all of the A finals spots

DEADASS THEY’RE SO GOOD??? THERE IS NOT A WEAK LINK IN THEIR STROKES.

Has, in the past, stolen Wilbur’s speaker and blasted this song https://open.spotify.com/track/5A32buYzWvtkJizBkX8OCQ?si=a28293e9e7e14b73

(It’s now the team’s unofficial hype song)

They have a whole ass vendetta against kick boards, they r ready to kill a man over doing streamline kick instead

Most likely to make every 25 in an underwater set

+++++

-Charlie is kinda like Foolish cuz he’s very strong but very unassuming

This mf slaps on his prescription goggles then shaves 4 seconds off his seed time in one go

He has WAY too much fun doing Tennessee turn sets. Madman

That guy who offers to fill up everyone’s water bottles in one go, very cool charlie tyty

NT curse, his times keep getting lost in the system and he ends up racing against div 2s cuz nobody (including him) remembers his best times and nobody wants to estimate bc he’s so unpredictable

+++++

-Jack Manifold, the king of accumulating everyone’s bad luck and still getting a PB

For example: B final (Wilbur), Lane 1 (Fundy), 100 Fly (Tommy). Almost late to his race (George). This man gets in and swims a 1:13.9, a hundredth faster than his heats time. Alpha behavior. 

Constantly flexes on other clubs during warmup by absolutely SPRINTING 

He gets kicked in the face very very often for that reason exactly

For some reason he and Tommy always end up in opposite relays?? Like Jack’ll be DSSC A and Tommy’ll be DSSC B its weird

[oikawalmartt]

onigiri boy

enemies to lovers collab;@mikrokyla;@parkersvibe

Osumu tends to be cold at first but little did you know that he can change… A LOT

It been 3 months since you and him met but before we go to that we are staring from the fucking beginning 🤩

This guy is literally the RUDEST peice of shit at first…But we all know we still love Osamu👀

May 23–3rd year

Junior year in college and you were slowly failing your communication class. The only thing that could maintain it is the group project that was coming up.

Yes, you're a failing student. But that's okay because you tend to pass most of the work since your friends would be in most of your classes and groups.

Sadly, this time wasn’t one of them.

You quickly stepped off the bus as you ran from your stop to the campus gates. You glanced at the time to realize you're going to be late.

“Y/n! TAKE YOUR TIME” your two best friends called behind you.

THE FÖCK YOU TRYING TO GRADUATE.

As you rushed to make your way to your failing class you felt someone with a black hoodie bump into you.

Your patience has warred off and you were fucking losing it.

I guess you guys already know what's about to go down… 😔 *sigh*

You thought they were going to apologize but…NOPE! bitch thought wrong.

The thought of cussing them out went through your mind but before you could you remembered the time—

Finally, you made it to your class. You took a seat at your regular spot while you waited for your friends.

Luckily the professor was late today.

BITCH REALLY RAN TO CLASS I—

Not long after the professor arrived and as the class continued he said to get into groups.

You watched as you slowly saw everyone in the room shift to different places.

It didn't take you long for you to finally find your group. You sat down and made eye contact with someone familiar.

Your eyes widened to come to the conclusion that it was the same person who bumped into you.

Y/n boutta throw that guy out a window..

The guy squinted his eyes while glaring at you.

“Osumu do you know her??” the guy next to him asked, bumping his arm.

You hid behind your laptop; trying to avoid the situation

Before the guy could answer one of the older peers spoke.

You would think that everything will be ignored by the time people start working…

Well föck were you wrong… Osumu starred you down the whole time…(kinda hot doe)

Finally, the class ended and you were ready to head out.

As you were making your way to the dining hall your hunger was at

max since rushing to the campus was the first priority. You were about to buy origini balls but—

THIS MF TOOK THREE!

At this point you hated him. He turned around and looked at you before sticking his tongue out. (lil mf)

Not only did he have the audacity to take the last servings but he casually sat across from you. Were you about to go crazy? maybe.

“ Your y/n right??” he asked while biting in one of the rice balls.

“HE CAN SAY MY NAME BUT NOT SORRY?!” (Y/n malfunctioning)

The two of you always ended up arguing in the group project.

Butting heads with each other.

Also, scoffing and getting back at each other constantly..

At the point where you have concluded that he was a mongrel( im sorry )

Except that one time…

On your way back to the library from the vending machines you heard two familiar voices loudly echoing down the hall. You walked towards it curious if everything was okay. As you turned the corner to check your eyes met with a scene of Osumu arguing with an older female.

“I guess he has mommy problems 🤭”

Before you left you were stopped by their sudden conversation.

“I didn’t ask for this— do you KNOW how useless this is??!” the girl threw something towards him as he just stood there.

“Breakup with me then..” Osumu’s cold words escaped from his lips which seemed to make the girl angrier.

“ YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING SOCIOPATH FINE THEN!!”

The woman stormed off which made you back away. You looked back at his direction to see him not there. As you turn your way back you stopped in your tracks to meet eyes with a very stressed Osumu. “It's rude to eavesdrop hun..” You ignored his comment and looked at him worried. “Are you oka-.” You were cut off by him. “ Don't look at me like.. I don't need your pity dumbass.”

You look down at his hands that were shaking. Slowly, your hand reached to grab his, he looked at you before covering your eyes with his hand. You kept hearing the faint sounds of him crying before hearing words come from him.

“Be my friend…”

WHAT?! WHAT THE FUCK—

June 3rd—junior year

It's been a couple of days since that strange meetup but the two of you have realized that it has become a trend for you guys to be around each other.

The two of you have planned to study for communication class in the rec room. It was late for studying but...exams for that class were the next day.

Get a guy who would procrastinate with you 😭

As you got there you immediately saw him pull a chair out.

“Hi dumbass”

You hit the back of his head before taking your books out.

It was 12:30am where you started feeling your eyes grow heavy.

“Wakeup!! dumbass”

Your head shot up from the desk. You looked at your surroundings before looking at Osumu.

Before you knew it you were having a mental breakdown.

“I'M NOT GONNA PASS AND I'M GOING TO HAVE TO REDO THE CLASS” You felt small tears run down your cheek.

It wasn’t long until you felt his hand on the top of your head.

“Shut up you're going to pass jus—“ He was cut off by your sudden action of holding his hand.

“You have a habit of holding my hand don't you?” He said moving his face closer to yours giving you a smirk.

‘Don't look at me like that~’

You had a slight tint of pink across your cheeks. He noticed your expression and immediately backed away.

“GET BACK TO WORK!!” He slammed your books onto your face before running out—

June 18–Junior year

It was the day results of the exam were going to be released. You and Osumu were sitting at the local cafe. The two of you sat there with your eyes plastered on the screen with your fingers crossed.

The two of you heard a *ding* before jumping out of your seats. You both continuously started scrolling before looking at each other.

“SAMU I PASSED?!!!” You jumped towards his figure hugging him.

His body became tense at first before realizing the situation and calming down.

“I LOVE YOU?!! THAN—“

😳😳😳 oh shøøt

“I Do too..”

*kisses you while tucking his head in the crook of your neck.*

masterlist

taglist: @mikrokyla @parkersvibes @dateko @starboybokuto @rintarous @dorkyama

[todo-ho-ki]

In honor of me never writing a single fucking word for the stories I’m still actually working on, I wanted to do something, anything at all, and obviously right now I’m fixating on haikyu instead of BNHA so welcome to...

Chances I’d Fight the Haikyu Boys and the Likelihood I’d Win

KARASUNO

Daichi 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: 0/10 he’s a master of being cool and respectful he wouldn’t give me a reason to square up

Chances I’d win- Manz could crush me with his thighs alone one kick and I’m in the afterlife BUT he wouldn’t fight a lady so 1/10

Suga 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: 1/10 a bitch might consider for money or something but otherwise. HEEEELLLL NO

Chances I’d win: suga seems lovely but Manz is as unhinged as his jaw will be when he swallows my arm whole after I try to punch him 2/10

Asahi 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: -3/10 he’s a soft boy I’d never fight him but +2 bc I might give him a gentle arm punch if need be. Overall -1/10

Chances I’d win: he only LOOKS scary but he wouldn’t hurt a fly tbh he’s probably scared of flies and looking like an asshole for fighting back 9/10 -1 point because Manz got REACH and COULD take me out if he wanted

Noya 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: 4/10 he can be a little shit sometimes I stg

Chances I’d win: -1/10 he could jump on me and bite my jugular out I ain’t fuckin w/him. +2 points bc he’s a simp so he probably WOULDNT...but he COULD. Overall 1/10

Tanaka 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: 6/10 he do be antagonizing sometimes and I swear if he SAY SOME SHIT TO ME...

Chances I’d win: mans could probably ACTUALLY win a fight hes full of energy and he could probs give me a look and I’d get scared 3/10 bc I don’t think he’d fight me either he’s a GENTLEMAN OK

Kageyama🏐

Chances I’d fight him: -50/10 bitch is SCARY and I know he’ll throw hands I’ve seen it

Chances I’d win: kageyama DO NOT GIVE A FUCK he’s broody in general and have you SEEN HIS SERVES he could slap me into next week(I’d thank him OOP) -370/10

Hinata 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: -500/10 Hinata is best boy I’d never lay a hand on him

Chances I’d win: I’d say 10/10 but I’ve SEEN that look in his eyes I don’t wanna know what it means so 6/10

Tsukishima 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: Manz knows all the buttons to press he’s a salty MF 8/10 but not 10/10 cuz he looks hot sometimes

Chances I’d win: he’d probably say something that makes me cry and id get distracted and he’ll walk away 2/10 cuz I could take him if I could see past the tears

Yamaguchi 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: -60,000/10 yams is a ray of SUNSHINE I could NEVER

Chances I’d win: here’s where things get tricky. He’s friends with Tsuki so he’s def got the sass and shit I think he’d be the one to secretly be able to THROW DOWN 3/10

NEKOMA

Kuro 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: -530,000/10 I LOVE him sm I simp too hard I can’t ruin that pretty face and that smirk NO ABSOLUTELY NOT

Chances I’d win: Manz is like a tree he could hold me at bay w/one of those buff-ass arms or crush my head with his thighs and since id let him, -6/10. minus three points cuz he’d charm me out of fighting

Kenma 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: 7/10 BAD BITCH GOT A ATTITUDE, NASTY

Chances I’d win: Kenma’s spicy and he WILL fight but I got too much strength on him so 9/10 I think he’d pull out some moves before giving up

Lev 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: 4/10 sometimes he’s just...REALLY stupid and arrogant which makes my eye twitch but minus 4 points bc he’s a big softie

Chances I’d win: his arm alone is longer than my body even if he couldnt fight he could swing blindly and accidentally hit the part of my brain responsible for consciousness in a panic. Also 4/10

Yaku 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: absolutely not I love his sassy attitude he be talkin shit sometimes 0/10 plus three points bc sometimes hed aim his tude at me and I STG

Chances I’d win: Manz is small but ready to pounce he’d jump on my back like a spider monkey and punch my skull till it caves in RIP me. 4/10 plus 2 points bc hed take it out on Lev instead

Fukunaga 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: 0/10 Manz never did nothin to nobody

Chances I’d win: he’d probably say something so funny I’d die from lack of oxygen w/o ever getting a hit in 3/10 if I can breathe I can get his ass

SEIJOH

Oikawa 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: depends on the day but a solid 6/10 he’s a little bitch sometimes but we love to see it. I also don’t wanna be messin up that pretty ass face

Chances I’d win: if he REALLY wanted to he could serve me into a different reality but he wouldn’t fight unless he ABSOLUTELY had to so I could get his ass too. Pre time skip: 19/10. Minus 63 points because I KNOW 27 year old oikawa would WRECK MY SHIT and I’d say please sir may I have some more

Iwaizumi 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: yo, you out to DAMN MIND??? -100,000/10

Chances I’d win: look. LOOK. Iwa Chan’s biceps are bigger than my head I mean NOTHING to him. I’m but a pebble to a god. He got a 6’7” attitude cuz he can swing like a 6’7” man. He could probably pull his dick out once and obliterate me with the seismic aftershock of it hitting the ground. -1235/10 minus six points bc ID LET HIM KILL ME

Yahaba 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: solid 7/10 KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS

Chances I’d win: see, you’d THINK this would be where I’d have the upper hand but Manz manhandled mad dog and lived. He’d slam me into a wall until my soul leaves my body right where I stand 3/10 bc he be simpin. Minus 3 points because I’d enjoy it

Mattsun 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: pre time skip:0/10

post time skip: -57/10 I ain’t putting my hands on a face that pretty

Chances I’d win: I’m doomed. He’d give me one look and I’d cave. Im walking out the broom closet limping but not bc of a fight. -41/10

Kiyotani 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: we’ll go with a solid -5/10 for...reasons

Chances I’d win: if I actually stood up to him he’d freeze in place but he could slap me into a different country if provoked 1/10

Kunimi 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: 0/10 we love a man who’s emotionally detached plus he’s hot tf

Chances I’d win: Manz would give up halfway through if he even indulged in the first place. 6/10 minus three points bc I’d win by default after he walks away

INARIZAKI

Kita 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: he’s a good boy -3/10

Chances I’d win: respectable guy but I have no doubt he’d rock my shit I’m ascending to the astral plane 1/10

Osamu 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: uh-uh. 0/10

Chances I’d win: he’s the aggressive twin. One flying kick to the heart and it’s across the gym and I’m dead as FUCK. 2/10 minus 2 points bc PLEASE put your hands on me sir

Atsumu 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: a soft 4/10 he’s a BRAT buuuuuut I love him so fucking much I’d let it go

Chances I’d win: he’s all bark and no bite. Srry bby but you’re gettin FOLDED I love you though. 88/10. minus 370 points bc please spend the rest of your life with me I could never hurt you 🥺

Aran 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: -5/10 he’s so sweet why would you fight him

Chances I’d win: he’d serve a volleyball into the back of my head and I take +10 damage from how cool it looks. Can fit my face in one hand probably. -43/10 minus ten points because of how cool he’d look killing me instantly

Suna 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: 2/10 he’s a little shit too he’d make someone record it

Chances I’d win: he’d try to fuck me instead. It would work. 1/10 bc I’d slap him afterward but like, sexily

FUKURODANI

Bokuto 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: 3/10 emo mode GOTS TO GO

Chances I’d win: his ass would pull me into it’s orbit and he’d use the opportunity to crush me with his thighs. -6/10. Minus 4 points bc what a FUCKING way to go please kill me

Akaashi 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: 1/10 he’s intimidating you kidding me NO

Chances I’d win: I could take him if he’s distracted by Bokuto. 6/10 if he is, 1/10 if he’s not

Konoha 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: -3/10 we love a sassy boy

Chances I’d win: I’m not maiming a face that pretty -28/10 I’d get lost in his eyes tf

SHIRATORIZAWA

Ushijima 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: none and a half I couldn’t even look at him. -.5/10

Chances I’d win: one smack would knock my organs out of my body. Big boy+big body=big death even if he misses the aftershock will stop my heart -67/10 minus four points bc RAIL ME

Tendou 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: 14/10 SQUARE UP BITCH

Chances I’d win: WELCOME TO HELL. YOUVE MADE A MISTAKE 36/10

Shirabu 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: 0/10 he’s too cool

Chances I’d win: he wouldn’t show. Too busy getting his hair cut. I win by default. 10/10 minus four points bc there would be no fight

Semi 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: I wouldn’t. 0/10. He’d give me the semi brow and I’d be down and out for the count. I’m not hitting a face that pretty.

Chances I’d win: 2/10. Minus three points bc he’d smash a guitar over my head, killing me instantly. Minus three more points bc I’d ask him to wear a leather jacket first

Goshiki 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: None. 0/10. His words and his bangs are as cool as ever.

Chances I’d win: he’d cry if I looked at him wrong. 86/10 but minus four points bc he’s baby

EXTRAS

Sakusa 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: surprisingly high. 7/10 bc a bitch got a attitude. Minus 8 points because he’s so fucking beautiful I don’t know if I could follow through

Chances I’d win: I’d just lick my hands before I started swinging and he’d leave. 8/10. Minus two points bc I think if he REALLY needed to square up he’d take me down in a fucking headlock until I pass out. Minus two more points because I’d ask him to squeeze harder.

Ukai jr. 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: that’s the wrong F word kids 😏. -34/10 besides I ain’t squaring up with a man that wears a headband like that

Chances I’d win: he probably could eat a bowl of nails for breakfast without any milk. -99/10. Minus 15 points bc I’d stop to ask him if he wants to finish this at my place

Hiragumi 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: why would you fight such a good, PRETTY boy? -5/10

Chances I’d win: he’d smile at me and I’d give up. -12/10

Takeda 🏐

Chances I’d fight him: I think he’d kill me honestly. Plus the boys would’ve never had a chance w/o him absolutely NOT -2/10

Chances I’d win: he’s hiding a demon from hell under that green jacket. -60/10

Terushima🏐

Chances I’d fight him: sheeeit I could try but his sexiness would leave me paralyzed. 1/10 if I look at enough pictures I could get past his fucking blonde undercut and tongue ring

Chances I’d win: he’d have my thighs around his head in 1.8 seconds. Will kill me with his tongue. -435/10

[ecotone99]

[MF] The Truck in The Night

Chapter 1 of 3

A loud noise tore through me and my body jolted.

The fuck, whats going on! Im face down and on my tummy. I was sleeping. I become annoyed, I hate those mini heart attacks that jolt you awake. I was warm, and comfortable. What day is it? Where am I? I opened my eyes and look around, I’m in a room I don’t recognise. It’s a Wednesday, no, Thursday! That’s right, Thursday. Where am I though?

Dazed, the world came into being around me. That’s right, my new home, in this shitty rural town. It was dark, but a light coming in from the window threw ambient light into my room. It was a truck slamming its brakes that woke me. Now I can hear it idling, right outside this house! Are they doing construction outside? Urgh how annoying.

As the sound of the loud engine idling outside remained, I started to wake up properly, and then it hit me, why the hell is a truck idling outside?

This house is not near an intersection, I thought. Heck its in the middle of nowhere. The truck isn’t leaving man! Somethings up outside. Using my elbows I raise my head to glance at my clock, 3:07 am. Urgh, I stuffed my face into the pillow. I hear the truck door slam, I cock my head towards the noise. Man, that truck is super annoying. Why did the driver get out of the truck?

I lean my leg outside to stand up. Fuck! It was cold. Why did I do that, its freezing. I forced myself out of bed and walked towards the window.

The truck continued to rumble outside as I approached the window, leaning over the study table I reached out to move the curtain to get a better view, doing so knocking over a teddy bear I couldn’t see. Bloody tree branch was in the way, I lean to the right to get a better view.

The whole street is dark except for the area in front of the truck’s lights, the dirt road lit up by the trucks high beams.

I could see a big man, hat on backwards crouching on one knee, his back toward me. Red jacket with a blue symbol on it. I try to get a better look but the branches are in the way. It was hard to see. The hell is he doing? Fuck it.

I grab my robe off my study chair and hurry towards the bedroom door. It snags on the chair, fucking hell. I yank it free then I put it on. I hurry down the stairs, my feet slapping on the cold wooden floor boards. I’d usually turn on the lights but the trucks beams are doing a pretty good job.

Light streams in through the glass front door as I approach it, I cant see the door knob but I blindly reach for it in the dark. The knob was freezing cold. I turn and pull. The door doesn’t open. I remember its locked, I instinctively flick the lock and give it another yank. The outside air was even colder than inside. Oh my god! I gasp in shock, freezing air enter my lungs. My eyes adjust to the scene, the truck now louder than before. I cautiously approach the truck. There he was, I could see him now. Old guy, in this 50’s with grey hair and beard. He was standing up now, looking into the distance in front of the truck. I paused to look at him. He was looking for something. I stepped down off the porch and gingerly approached him. The cold biting at my feet.

“Hello!”

The man spun around quickly towards me and made a very short glottal sound of surprise

This guy was spooked

“Jesus, you scared me” he exclaimed putting his hand on his chest

“I’m sorry” I managed to gulp out “the truck woke me, I came to see if everything was alright”

“Yes its all alright, sorry to wake you, I thought I…”

his voice trailed off as he scanned in front of the truck

He shook his head “nah it cant be” he said walking towards the driver side of the truck

“it cant be what?” I asked stepping towards him

“nothing to be worried about, you’ll catch a cold hanging out here” he said as he hurled himself into his seat

I stepped back, this guy didn’t wanna talk. Why would he? its 3 am.

The truck crunched into gear and rolled forward kicking up dust.

I tightened my robe around me and hurried back to the house. I didn’t want to be around any longer than I should, I jumped up the stairs and grabbed the door handle and twisted it. Click. Huh?

Its not turning!

Panicking I twisted it again and again. Click, Click. No, no, no!

Locked! This cant be happening!

“God fucking damn it!”

I slammed the door with my hand

A bat flees from a nearby tree, its wings making loud flaps as it flees into the distance.

I couldn’t feel my toes anymore, I was barely wearing anything

“Stupid, stupid stupiiiiid!” I yell out at myself

How the hell did it lock itself?

I rest my head against the door, I feel defeated.

I rub my hands together to warm them up, its getting hard to move my fingers.

“ok, focus focus focus” I whisper to myself,

“there’s got to be another way in”

I slumped to the floor and curled into a ball against the wall, trying to preserve as much heat as possible.

“I cant stay out here, its too cold, you need to get up, theres no one around”

I gingerly stood up, I had to check the back door. But it was too dark, the clouds covered up the moon.

I had to press on. I had to!

I begin to make my way to the right side of the house, my feet crunching on the dry dirt and rocks. I can tell the pebbles and rocks are digging into my feet but they’re too numb to register the pain.

I can barely see infront of me. I tiptoe past the short tap. Im almost there!

I begin to shiver, and my jaw clenches from the cold.

A nearby branch shook suddenly. I froze! I felt my heart in my throat. I couldn’t see, but I could hear it. It shook again, loudly this time.

My heart was beating so hard I could feel it in my ears. My breathing became short and shallow. The leaves were still shaking softly.

And then I heard it, something was squeaking in the tree!

I tensed in my tracks, desperately looking deep into the dark trying to see what the fuck made that noise. Desperate to hear it again so I could try and figure out what it was. The first noise was not enough.

I refused to move, my palms sweaty despite being completely numb now, my heart was pounding. My legs felt weak. But the fear made me forget the cold, it made it bearable.

Come onnnnnn, make another noise. “Be brave” my mind called out

The tree branch made another rustle, softer this time. My eyes darted around. Looking for any sliver of light.

The clouds began to thin and the moonlight began to leak through.

I could see the tree the rustle came from.

There was silence, it was so still you could hear a pin drop except for my laboured breathing that I’m trying to supress.

The tree rustled another time and a bat flung itself from it and flapped above me. It was huge. Its body silhouetted against the moonlight.

I began to relax, my heart rate slowed and my body relaxed. I sighed in relief.

“Get it together, its just a bat” I whispered to myself

The biting cold returned, I tightened my robe, and made my way into the backyard, the clouds parting even more now.

The backyard came into view in the moonlight, lit well by the moonlight. I stepped up on to the backyard porch and tried to open the door. My cold numb hand barely able to grip the knob. I tried to rotate it, first clockwise then anti clockwise. Click, Click, Click, Click.

Locked.

Wait, these knobs turn both clockwise and anti-clockwise!

My heart began to race, Is that why it didn’t open? Was I turning it the wrong way? I jogged back to the front yard, hurried and excited to try the doorknob the other way.

The door wasn’t locked! Oh my god, it all makes sen- a sickening loud thud rang through my left foot. The fuck!

“Noooo!”

I lurched forward. My palms where the first to hit the ground. My hands flung out infront of me scraping against the small jagged rocks trying to break the fall, dust and small rocks kicked up into my nose. Urgh, the wind got knocked out of me. I laid there coughing in the moonlight. My body heat leaking out of me into the greedily cold ground. I could taste the dust. Some of it was between my teeth.

“For fucks fucking sake!” I yell out! Cursing at the cruel world. I was furious.

I look down, barely able to see the short tap in the dim light. It was still vibrating from the force. I could sort of feel the pain in my foot, but not to the extent I should have. My foot’s too numb to register it. Unluckily lucky I suppose.

My chest was in a mild pain, for a moment I forgot the cold. But now the reminder was back. I forced myself up and rub my hands together to loosen the rocks and stones embedded in my hands as I weakly walk over to the front door.

I hop up on to the porch, I reached out my hand, the cold air rushing into my warm underarms. I held the door knob with numb painful fingers, held my breath and turned the knob the opposite way.

The door opened with a solid thwack. It was unlocked the whole time!

“Fucks sake!” I manage to grunt out through chattering teeth

I hurl myself into the house, close the door. Lock it. And hurry up the stairs.

I throw open the door to my room and angrily lumber towards my bed. I slide under the duvet and literally melt into the beautiful warmth. Holy snapping duck shit, what a fucking night!

I was too tired for this shit and fell fast asleep.

End Chapter 1

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