#im going to be sad about this all week i cant BELIEVE

[prismartist]

ok i suspected that the s2-3 of lot3c were going to focus on the other cabs but UR TELLING ME. THAT IT WAS THE ACTUAL PLAN. AND THE SECOND SEASON WAS GOING TO BE JOSE-CENTRIC??? I'M CRYING

[iratusmus]

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[uygfiug]

hiii just wanted to say i hope your illness isnt treating you too badly and you feel better soon <33

thank you <33333 im feeling a bit better :) i have to go back to school tomorrow though :( which i am not at all looking forward to but if i want to stay home longer id need a doctors note and idk if im sick enough to go to the doctor for a note for one day yknow

[maplesyrupsainz]

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙coz i cant sleep in hotel rooms | CL16˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: charles leclerc x singer y/n reader (she/her)

genre: social media au, established relationship, relationship on the rocks

warnings: mentions of substances, a sad one sorryy tehe

summary: in which break up rumours circulate during a rough patch in their relationship

a/n: hii i feel like i could do a part 2 to this coz i cant leave my y/n like this

song

fc: holly humberstone

my masterlist

part 2!!!

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by oliviarodrigo, arthur_leclerc, and 50,219 others

yourusername solitude 🧘‍♀️

view all 7,183 comments

user1 IS THAT SONG LYRICS?

user2 is everything ok at home y/n lol

arthur_leclerc ❤️

liked by yourusername

user3 where is charles 😭

lilymhe missing your pretty face

yourusername miss you so so much

user4 mom where's dad

twitter ->

instagram ->

ynupdates

liked by user5, user2, and 9,938 others

ynupdates following an instagram post and tweet from y/n's own accounts along with no sightings together for 2 weeks, it's rumoured that y/n and boyfriend of 2 years f1 driver charles leclerc have split. sources close to the couple speculate it is due to their conflicting schedules which has put a strain on the relationship. we are sending our y/n/n all the love in the world right now ❤️‍🩹

view all 4,583 comments

user8 there's no way

user9 well at least the album is going to slap..

user10 I AM A CHILD OF DIVORCE

user11 i wont believe it until it's confirmed. it is so disrespectful to speculate on ppls private lives like this

user12 i feel like if he really loved her then conflicting schedules wouldnt matter 😕

user13 hit me right in the parasocial relationship

user14 everybodys up and left & i can barely catch my breath 😭😭

user15 this city's fine but im eternally unsatisfied 😭😭

yourusername

liked by lilymhe, yourbff, and 42,839 others

yourusername a couple more tequilas n i'll tell u how im feelin

tagged: yourbff, lilymhe

view all 5,384 comments

lilymhe love having fun with u

yourusername ty for cheering me up🥹

user16 the overkill lyric im not crying u are

arthur_leclerc dont think u need any more tequila

lilymhe let my girl live!

yourusername leclerc men love telling me what to do !

user17 IS THAT SHADE

yourbff i love u my girl foreverrr ♾️

yourusername i love u more my dearest 💗

twitter ->

instagram ->

charles_leclerc

liked by carlossainz55, pierregasly, and 698,383 others

charles_leclerc ☔️

tagged: arthur_leclerc

view all 8,945 comments

pierregasly where have u been that it's raining

charles_leclerc well london of course

user20 LONDON?? visiting y/n??

arthur_leclerc very cool very aesthetic

charles_leclerc well of course this is my instagram isnt it

user21 good luck in the next race charles ❤️❤️

user22 where's y/n

user23 blink twice if u need help

yourusername posted a story

liked by yourbff, lilymhe, landonorris, and 4,385 others

yourbff is everything ok?

yourusername jus going thru something 🤔

yourbff i noticed

lilymhe u will be ok

yourusername i will but what about us

yourusername

liked by oliviarodrigo, billieeilish, and 76,385 others

yourusername my song ‘ghost me’ is available to stream now on all platforms. i hope u like it ❤️

view all 6,183 comments

lilymhe i would never ghost u 👻

liked by yourusername

yourbff this 1 hurt i cant lie

landonorris beautiful as ever

user24 lando shooting his shot

pierregasly you are so talented y/n 🤍

user25 if u try to ghost me & quit being in my life dont u dare 😭😭

user26 kinda thought that i could handle the distance 😭😭

user27 if this isnt referencing her & charles living in different countries then idk

charles_leclerc ❤️

comment deleted by charles_leclerc

user28 did anyone else see that

messages ->

instagram ->

ynupdates

liked by user18, charles_leclerc, and 3,102 others

ynupdates y/n spotted at the airport in the early hours of the morning!

tagged: yourusername

view all 895 comments

user29 omg do u think she could be travelling to monaco for the gp this weekend??

ynupdates 🤞🤞

user30 CHARLES LIKED????

user31 charles liking this oh she is definitely going to monaco to see him

user32 this gives me hope😭

user33 my parents are still together my parents are still together my parents are still together

user34 did anyone talk to her??

ynupdates apparently she was in a rush & had a covid mask covering most of her face

yourusername

liked by landonorris, lilymhe, and 35,538 others

yourusername ✈️ ...

tagged: lilymhe, yourbff

view all 2,471 comments

yourbff im so giddy

yourusername u love being dragged around the world by me

yourbff so fr i do

lilymhe my best girls in the world!!

yourusername i am so glad to have met u

user35 i love their friendship

user36 y/n are you in monaco for the gp🥹

user37 she would never miss charles' home race imo

user38 ur glowing y/n 🫶

f1wagupdates

liked by user12, user32, and 5,933 others

f1wagupdates ferrari driver charles leclerc & long term musician girlfriend y/n y/l/n seen outside a restaurant tonight arguing. their relationship has been rumoured to be on the rocks recently – is this the end for them? source says they couldn't hear the entire conversation but heard snippets, click the link in our bio for all information.

tagged: yourusername, charles_leclerc

view all 1,843 comments

user39 this is so disrespectful

oliviarodrigo give them some privacy jesus christ

user40 omg hi olivia

user41 y/n was overheard saying she cant do it anymore 😭😭

user42 my heart is breaking for y/n omg poor girl has always said in interviews that she didn't even want to date long distance but charles made her fall for him 😭😭

user43 omg dont remind me i feel so sick :((

twitter ->

instagram ->

f1updates

liked by user32, user21, and 5,495 others

f1updates ferrari driver charles leclerc has crashed during the monaco grand prix today and has been rushed to seek medical attention. unfortunately no updates at this time.

tagged: charles_leclerc

view all 2,953 comments

user48 WHAT OH MY GOD

user49 omg sending my thoughts & prayers :((

user50 😮 i wonder if y/n is with him

user51 it's not about her rn..

user52 poor charles he was racing so well too😭

user53 omg it looked soo terrifying

messages ->

instagram ->

f1wagupdates

liked by user16, user38, and 2,584 others

f1wagupdates y/n y/l/n seen fleeing paparazzi following (ex?) boyfriend charles leclerc's crash in the monaco grand prix. is this the final nail in the coffin for this relationship?

tagged: charles_leclerc, yourusername

comments have been limited on this post

THE END ❤️

[luvhughes43]

baby #2 | dad!jamie drysdale x reader

au masterlist💐

yndrysdale posted two weeks ago!

liked by jamie.drysdale, trevorzegras, cam.york, and others

yndrysdale surprise🌷

tagged: jamie.drysdale

view all comments

jamie.drysdale I love you guys!❤️

yndrysdale we love you so much💗💗

trevorzegras my favourite family is having another baby... im in tears

trevorzegras can we go 2 for 2 and make me the godfather for the 2nd baby ?

masonmctavish23 Congrats guys!

anaheimducks Can't wait for our newest duck to arrive!🧡🦆

user01 the first pic is sooo cute!! i love you guys sm!!

yndrysdale thank you!! the first pic is from a photoshoot we did but i couldn't wait to post lol!

newest comments

user02 THEY TRADED JAMIE???

user03 ok but i feel so bad for yn like shes pregnant and has a young daughter, plus has a job... like this is a lot

user04 NO MORE JAMIE AND TREVOR?? YN DO SOMETHING

user05 tf is she supposed to do? bffr

user06 I CANT BELIEVE THEY TRADED JAMIE. WHATS LILA GONNA DO WITHOUT HER FAV UNCLE TREV??

user07 y'all are weird as hell in the comments... like leave yn alone this was obviously not her decision and im sure she doesnt appreciate your guys comments about the trade when its uprooting her and her familys life.

user08 omg shes pregnant and now jamie has to move away... this is so sad wtf im even more upset now.

user09 no more lila and trevor content :((( we lost.

user10 these are real ppl with real lives... theyre not content for u to enjoy lol.

user11 congrats you guys!! i wish you all the best in philly💗

[folklorebae]

𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦 𝐀𝐔 - 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐮𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐬

Spin-off of my rockstar's girlfriend

Cast(s): Rockstar!Eren & Model!Reader

Cw: swearing, reader using she/her pronouns, slight hange x reader, food

A/n: haven't posted anything for months! hope you guys love this one<33

Liked by sashablouse and 4,715,937 others

yourinstagram life recently...

View all 15,725 comments

angelicyn WE MISSED YOUUUU

ynfan23 glad you post this when im still awake

yndaily OMG YOUR PUPPY ISNT A PUPPY ANYMORE. ITS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE WE SAW HER ON YOUR/EREN'S STORY😭

↳yourinstagram i know! but she's getting smarter and cuter. i love her so much, she's my girl:)

erenfan19 i dont see eren... soo the rumors are true?? :((

↳ynfan24 girl, she's her own person and this is her insta. besides, that man is childish lmao. imagine unfollowing THE Y/N L/N just because she doesn't attend his concert in europe...

14,937 likes

justjared After getting unfollowed by her long-time boyfriend last week, Y/N L/N was spotted walking out of Oscar-winning costume designer Hange Zoe's apartment building this morning. New couple alert?

View all 3,714 comments

ereyn.daily i'm happy if y/n's happy🥲

goddessyn cmon, we all know they've been friends for ages. stop spreading stupid rumor like this

erenfan20 not gonna believe anything till one of them confirm it in front of my face

26,638 likes

paradis.memes Thoughts?

View all 3,926 comments

paradisfan7 Im not believing this shit

erenfan21 she doesnt wanna marry him, im crying😭

↳paradisfan8 she once said she's jo march kinnie😭

↳ynfan25 How do you know she doesn’t wanna marry him? Maybe he doesn't wanna marry her? We don’t know what happened behind the curtain unless Y/N and Eren themselves actually comment on it .

erenfan22 guys, if you read the article that @people posted, at the end they said “Reps for Jaeger and L/N have not commented on the breakup.”

Liked by arminarlert and 3,916,939 others

paradisofficial Paradis World Tour. Antwerp. May, 2023.

View all 9,826 comments

paradisfan9 YOU GUYS WERE SO AWESOME😭❤️

paradisfan10 PLS PLS COME BACK TO ANTWERP ASAP. ALSO THE SURPRISE SONG?!? BED OF ROSES?!?

paradisfan11 so sad cant see you guys perform last night🥲💔

paradisfan12 if you guys dont cover “bed of roses” on your Asia Tour, you're racist.

↳paradisofficial We've agreed that every region will have different song to cover. Thank you for your support😊

↳paradisfan12 OMG I WAS JOKING LMAO (i mean, not really)

Liked by annieleonhart and 2,916,820 others

sashablouse unseen🤓

tagged: @yourinstagram @nicolo

View all 5,919 comments

nicolo 🤍

Liked by sashablouse

conniespringer dude, what were you doing in the first pic

��sashablouse cause you're just a man 🙄

yourinstagram dont wanna be a third wheel anymore...

11,726 likes

paradisupdatee New Setlist For Europe Tour! I've upgraded the playlist, link in bio.

View all 1,826 comments

paradis.devil see you at accor arena tmrw!!

↳paradisupdatee See you, bby<3

paradisfan13 the fact they didnt cover any song in northern europe countries😀

paradisfan14 I literally flew from brussels to london last month to see them perform AND THEY DIDNT SING BED OF ROSES?!? I WAS ROBBED!!

↳paradisfan15 sameeee i attended some of their shows in us last year and they didn't cover any song 😭

paradisfan16 is this eren's way to confirm the breakup rumors?😭

Liked by carlajaeger and 5,916,028 others

yourinstagram the rumors are terrible and cruel...

View all 29,317 comments

ynln.jpg dont tell me you're in paris...

taylorswift but honey, most of them are true🤭

Liked by yourinstagram

↳yourinstagram patiently waiting for 1989 (Taylor's Version)😊🙏

↳ynfan25 soo the rumors are true?🥲

↳ereyn.daily i'm in spain without s

ereyn.exposing Whatever ereyn does is only for promo. It's a fact that eren is not going to follow y/n or ever going to post her picture on his Instagram again.

↳yourinstagram seems like you guys have been talking about this and tag me in a few posts everyday. but now please, i beg you to stop. it's just negative, i really have no hard feelings towards you. i just know what a beautiful world there is to go out and live in instead of trying to dissect a relationship between two people that you don't even know. i don't need his follow, my name is permanently tattooed to his arm. This is my final comment on this, but i want you to know that it's not meant to offend you. just hoping you can find something else in life to be inspired by xx

↳erenfan23 OMG OMG OMG YESS YOU TELL THEM QUEEN

↳ynfan26 FINALLY PEOPLE COULD SHUT THEIR MOUTH NOW. THESE "EXPOSING" ACCOUNTS ARE ANNOYING AF

↳erenfan24 I think you should've messaged them, instead of calling them out publicly like this. no offense, still love you tho

↳yourinstagram i see why you think that ought to have been a direct message, and i agree. i just didn't considered it. it's all really frustrating, and i'm only human... you guys understand how hurtful assumptions like this can be, especially when they are made about someone i care about a lot. if you guys care about him too, you'll eventually realize that we are on the same team. i apologize if it came off as impolite or rude. i was simply attempting to start a conversation so people would realize that their statements were painful rather than just an "anonymous confession." this cruel internet culture has no benefit for society as a whole. 

19,862 likes

ereynpost “You guys are crazy, you know that? No... I don’t think my girlfriend and I need another dog for now. What about you, Jean?” — Eren laughs as he answers a fan's sign.

USHSSUDSHDUAJSYSHS GUYSSS THE RUMORS ARENT TRUEEEE THEY'RE STILL TOGETHER OMFG!!!!

View all 3,749 comments

its.ereyn Girl, I almost deactivate this account

↳ereynpost PLS, SAME😀

ynfan27 OMG MY EREYN HEARTTT

erenfan25 PARENTS OMG😭😭😭

ynfan28 I can die in peace now, thanks

Liked by mikasackerman and 6,948,163 others

erenjaeger My love, my lady, the most precious human on this earth. I'm really grateful because we have an incredibly meaningful, loving, and fun relationship. As you guys know, this world is cruel and I'd do anything to make her the happiest, but I've failed to do it. I personally love it when people make assumptions or speculations about me, because I know they all wrong. But when people start to say something hurtful to my woman, I can't tolerate it.

Six years of relationship and we have never ever broken up, not even once, if that's what you all really want to know. She's my present and future, she's the one who teaches me how forever feels. The love I have for her only gets stronger and bigger, it's crazy to think about it. Thank you for all the love and support, we really appreciate it.

View all 53,027 comments

erenfan26 I TOLD YOU ALL THEY'RE ENDGAME

ynfan29 how to find myself a man like you😭

erenfan27 oh he is, he really is in love🥹❤️

yndaily the fact that i'll never experience this type of love hurts a lot. but i couldnt be more happier for you two💓

jeankirschtein ngl, at first i did believe you two broke up

↳erenjaeger bro, fuck off

↳erenfan28 LMAO JEANNNN, IM CRYINGG😭😭😭

ereyn.daily As iconic as David Bowie and Iman❤️

↳yourinstagram thank you, but I don't deserve this compliment. also, your comment will boost eren's ego, he'll think he's as good as him

↳erenjaeger why would you say that:(

(+bonus on what really happened lol)

[shurisbathwater]

𝖥𝖤𝖤𝖫 𝖬𝖤 𝖨𝖨 . ☆

❝ 𝗉𝗂𝖼𝗄 𝗎𝗉 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗉𝗁𝗈𝗇𝖾, 𝗌𝗁𝗎𝗋𝗂. ❞

Toxic!shuri x black fem! Reader

W a r n i n g s

smut

X t r a s

Filler again as I work on sum

T a g s :

@letitias-fav

-𝐘𝐎𝐔 called Shuri for the millionth time, just for no answer back. You knew she was seeing it all as she declined most of them. After you guys made up last time, she would only come home when once every two weeks or so. It was draining for you, but you also knew that she was getting her pleasure somewhere else though she claimed she ended it. You just missed your lover.

You knew that Shuri can be a compulsive liar even when she was in the wrong. You looked at the lunch you got for her sitting on the kitchen island. You pick it up and grab your car keys. You unlock your door and head to the parking garage.

"Griot, text shuri please." You commanded the ai. "Of course y/n." The robot replied.

You

I picked up some lunch, im otw

Shuri

No need

I'm not hungry

You

I'm already on the way

Shuri

Then turn around tf?

I dont need any distractions rn.

Yeah, she was definitely hiding something. What's going on? Instead of turning around, you continue to drive to the laboratory.

You turned up there in less than ten minutes. You open the car and ask Griot to lock it. It does what its told and you enter the big area.

You took the escalator up to her lab and walked up to the big glass doors. You open the door and look around for Shuri.

There she was, Shuri was at her desk probably writing a formula and something. "Hey." You take a seat at the other side of the desk.

She looks up from her paper and gives you a dirty look. "What did I tell you about coming at unwanted times?" She rolls her eyes as she said it. "I know but..I just missed you." You pouted. She sighs and her opens her mouth to reply- but before she could say anything her phone started ringing.

The contact name was 'Lab partner' . Shuri doesn't have a lab partner, she always likes to work independently. "You never told me about a lab partner?" You furrow your brows. "Dont worry about it." She says as she flips the phone over to its backside. "Pick up the phone? If its your lab partner." You look her dead in the eye.

"Pick up the phone shuri."

She looked away, irritated. "I said don't worry about it." She replies. "I'll be home early." She says , trying to change the subject .

"Mmh." You mumble as you get up from her seat. You leave the lunch on the table and make your way out of here.

Somethings up.

And you need to figure out what it is.

ᘛ ᘚ

-𝐘𝐎𝐔 watched your phone that was charging on the night stand, contemplating if you should just call or maybe she was being truthful. It was about to go to midnight, and yet you were up waiting for her. You put your hands in your lap for a second, until you realised you couldn't have self control this one time.

You called again.

And again.

You sigh out of frustration as you call one more time. Third times a charm, right? True- because she answered this time. "I thought you were coming home early." You speak into the phone.

"I am. Gimme like an hour." She grunts. "I cant take it baby." Someone moaned in the background. Your eyes widen as you decline the call out of shock and blink back tears. Here she was, lying to you again and again. But the funny thing is that she knows you'll come back every single time. You called Your friend Riri and she answered in less than a second.

"Do you mind if I come over, Riri?" Your voice cracks.

"Are you okay love? Of course you can come."

You get up from your bed and rushed out of your bedroom. You grabbed your car keys and headed out again.

Once you reached Riri's apartment, you knocked on the door softly. She answers the door quickly. You bite your lip as she looks at you with sad eyes. "Cmere." She puts her arm around you and walks you to the living room.

"And then she..she told me it was over and I actually believed her. I cant believe id let myself be so gullible, Riri." Your voice trembled. You put your head on her shoulder and she wraps her arm around you.

To be honest, you and Riri had a friends with benefits situation. You both wanted eachother but she respected you and Shuris relationship.

She looks at you with sad eyes.

"I'm going to do something i regret, but I dont care." Her brown eyes darken.

ᘛ ᘚ

"Shit, Riri." You breathed out as she gave you sloppy kisses on your jaw, all the way down to your collarbone. She opened your legs and started to rub the spot between your legs. You gasped out of pleasure."Please, Riri." You moaned. Suddenly your phone started to vibrate, and to your surprise it was Shuri.

"Answer." She commands as you grab your phone and answer.

"Where are you?" She asked. "I'm.." you bite your tongue to stiffle your moans. "What?" Riri starts to slip off your sweat pants slowly.

"I'll be home soon." You managed to get the sentence out.

A/n: ntm on the smut ik its ....Chile anyway hope u enjoyed!

[cupoftaae]

Still Perfect (JK Drabble)

Summary- Your mind is playing evil tricks on you again, and the only one who can bring you back down to earth is your husband, the one you are ashamed to admit everything to.

Warnings- swearing, minor angst, they are in luv its cute, mentions of depression (reader), mentions of medications. 18+

Enjoy <3

"Baby...I'm gonna take Gia outside to test the new swing I put up, do you wanna come?" Jungkook whispered, his hand on your back as you laid in the dark bedroom at 2 in the afternoon.

You sighed, looking up at your husbands face, "I want to but I just...Im so tired"

He nodded sadly, "okay...thats okay you dont have to, I'll take pictures?"

"yes please" you smile weakly

"mama!! mama! lets go outside!" Your 3 year old, Gia, runs into the room and stands beside your bed.

Jungkook was quick to pick her up into his arms, squeezing her, "mama isnt feeling too good right now, shes gotta rest." he whispered

"again?" your daughter pouted, her big eyes looking down at you- and with single glance, your heart was broken into 5 million pieces.

Jungkook frowned, "hey, sometimes adults get tired, its okay, we will go have fun in the backyard and you can see mama later? wave bye bye" he held her small hand up and waved for her as he began to leave the room, mouthing a soft "love you" in your direction before the door shut.

with that, the tears began to flow.

Your depression struggles have always found a way into your family, when you were dating jungkook you spent so much time explaining that sometimes you just cant function, and he was the first boyfriend you had that understood and didnt make you feel like a piece of shit for struggling with something out of your control.

It was nice, but then the fears that he would leave set in.

He always tries his best to make sure you feel loved and appreciated, when he proposed, he took you to Italy for 3 weeks just to be alone with you.

And your wedding was no different either.

He made sure you felt beautiful the way you were, showing you off at any chance he could, and even stepping away from the after party with you for a bit when things got overwhelming.

Many emotions were experienced when you became pregnant after 3 months of marriage. The guilt in believing you werent a good mother, the guilt for not having enough energy to eat most days even though you knew it wasnt just about/for yourself.

The self neglect was the worst part, and if jungkook had not been there to help you through all of the ugly, you dont know what you would have done.

You love him so much and the thought that maybe he doesnt feel that from you is terrifying, the thought that your daughter is only 3 and is already catching onto her mothers odd behavior is alarming.

Gia sees her friends moms play with them, she goes over to her cousins house and plays with their mom, why doesnt her own mom have that energy?

The tears seeped into the silk pillows as you squeezed your eyes shut.

This was how it often was for you: no emotion at all, or sadness. thats it, since you were 13.

No amount of doctor visits or therapy could fix you, and now you were letting it ruin your family.

-

A bit after Jungkook brought Gia inside, she fell asleep on the couch in the living room.

He smiled and took a photo of her small bundled up body laying on the cushion before making his way upstairs to show you.

"honey, you awake?" he mumbled, sliding open the door and walking in.

You were facing the opposite wall, feeling absolutely numb.

"baby" he smiled, kissing your forehead, "you okay? you wanna see the videos of gia?"

You tried to open your mouth to talk but nothing came out, instead your eyes teared up again and you turned your face further into the pillow to hide.

He frowned, putting his phone away as he climbed under the covers with you, his larger body spooning against yours. "sweetheart, whats going on?" his hand brought you closer

"I dont know" you whispered quietly

"just not doing good again?" he questioned, hand rubbing your side softly to soothe you.

You nod, unable to talk.

"im here for you, did you take your medication?"

"no.."

"okay well lets do that now so we dont forget, okay?" he sat up and pulled open your nightstand drawer, taking the pill you take daily and handing it to you alongside a water bottle.

You gently sat up and leaned against the headboard, taking the pill.

"where is she?" you asked quietly, teary eyes catching to kooks in the dimly lit bedroom.

"she passed out on the couch downstairs, bam is laying with her" he smiled, finding a cozy spot beside you again.

"am I a bad mom?" you question, watching his face contort

"what? why would you ask me that? of course you arent"

"jungkook I havent been able to leave the room for 2 days, this isnt normal....she misses me, she needs her mommy and im failing her" your voice cracked slightly as jungkook immediately brought you into his arms, caging you against him.

"dont talk like that, you are such an amazing woman, y/n. I would have never married you otherwise. You are so fucking strong and you cant let yourself fall into this dark space, you are struggling, yes, but we take it step by step, just like we've always done." he rubs your back as he speaks, "and Gia doesnt feel left out, she would not stop talking about you the entire time we were outside. Dont tell her I told you but she picked a bunch of 'flowers' for you" he giggled, "I didnt have the heart to tell her they were just weeds"

You allow yourself to laugh softly, leaning into your husbands embrace.

"you are doing so well....so incredibly well baby. I know life isnt always fair but we cant blame ourselves, we have to pick up what we have learned and move on as stronger people."

You nod, looking at him as he wipes the tear on your cheek.

"my beautiful girl, I love you so much, you know that?"

You smile sadly, "I love you too"

"can I take you downstairs and we can cuddle on the couch? I'll cook for you, you havent eaten in hours"

"okay" you sniff, allowing jungkook to help you up and keep a blanket wrapped around your body.

-

"mommy!"

Gia's toothless smile greeted you as you came downstairs, Bam laying on her protectively.

"Hi baby" you waved and walked over, sitting onto the couch and letting her crawl into your lap. "I missed you sweetheart, oh- your overalls are backwards" you giggled softly

Jungkook blushed as he sat on the other side of you, sharing a funny glance with his daughter.

"daddy dress me" she whispered

"I can tell" you smile, squeezing her tightly and rocking back and forth gently.

"my pretty girls" jungkook whispered, more so to himself than directed at you both.

"and bammy" gia added on, hiding her face against your chest.

"and bammy" you insisted, rubbing her back

Jungkook leaned over to wrap you two into his arms, kissing both of your heads.

"did you have fun outside" you asked

Gia giggled, "yeah...but daddy pushed the swing too much, I fell" she babbled

"what?" You look at your husband

"shes okay, shes breathing, shes here" he began, smothering his hands over his little girls face as she laughed loudly.

"mama feeling okay?" she asked once you all calmed down,

"mama is doing okay, my dear. Dont worry about me, I love you so much" you squished her face softly and kissed her nose

"love you more!!" she added, clapping her hands

"Love you most!!" You couldnt help but smile as jungkook leaned his head against the back of the couch, eyes drawn on his wife and daughter only.

"i'll make some lunch" he spoke, standing

"yay!! I help?" Gia hopefully asked

"no no, you girls sit there and look cute" he winked at you before walking off to the kitchen, bam following him in hopes of getting a treat.

You loved your little family, and you wouldnt trade them for anything the world had more to offer.

They were the ones who got your through the toughest part of life, and you were grateful that in this moment you didnt have to fake a smile.

[howdoesagrapewrites]

im not the anon who asked for something like tricycle but HEAR ME OUT what if like something where the reader has to travel outside the country and pav and gayatri are like “what ?? we’re coming w you tf ?” and you and gayatri have to point out that hes spiderman … and cant leave … so then you ask gayatri to stay behind for him and idk where else to go from here 😭

𝙃𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙞𝙨

Cw: slight angst/comfort, poly!gn!reader x Pavitr Prabhakar x Gayatri Singh, long distance relationship, depressive behavior

Notes: I had to use an online roulette to tell me if I should make angst or fluff, fluff won. I interpreted this as "they're moving away" but if this isn't what you wanted, just tell me

>You were horrified as you heard them tell you that you were leaving the country

>You tried to protest, be logical, be emotional, cry, lay a well researched and sensible argument, beg, anything in your control to convince them otherwise, but your tutor just won't budge

>You had the biggest fight over this

>You locked in your room, refusing to speak to anyone as you cried and cracked your head open thinking about how you'd explain this to your partners, what would they think? You want to communicate this the best way possible, is there even a good way to do it?

>You didn't answer texts, and you hated yourself for it, you hated yourself for getting shut down and wasting the little time you have left

>You didn't want your partners to feel neglected or think you were mad at them, so you made sure to tell them it was just issues in your home, and that they didn't do anything wrong

>And they tried to respect your alone time, they really did

>But four days was enough:( please

>Pavitr calls you, and you just start crying and word vomiting things that don't make any sense

>"jaanu, are you there?"

>"I am, but I won't, and I really- I-I mean that it won't be like this forever, and I really want to say it to you, but you'll feel sad, and I need you here, but then we have to talk and if we talk you'll - I'll- if we talk that means I have to go- I don't want to go"

>You sob even harder when you listen to the beep indicating he finalized the call, you are there just having an absolute meltdown, hugging your pillow as you rot on the bed you've been the whole week

>Your crying is loud, but loud enough to cancel out the loud banging on your window, it's your boyfriend (in his spiderman suit) carrying your girlfriend in his arms, waiting like two stray dogs for you to open the window

>He was really fast, he probably started swinging the second he hanged up

>You clumsily open the window, crying and struggling with the safe, to finally let them in, they almost knock you down on the floor with the strength they used to jump to hug you

>You hold them as a close as you can, they don't ask for explanations and carry you to your bed to cuddle until you calm down, always with reassuring words of "it's okay", "whenever you're ready", and infinite "I love you"s

>When you gather the strength to talk, completely forgetting whatever script you had in mind, they can't believe it

>"We're coming with you!" Gayatri blurts out, anxiously biting her lip, looking at Pavitr and then at you

>"That's right! We'll come with you, it'll be an adventure for the three is us!" Pavitr smiles, unaware of the million of flaws in his train of thought

>"You can't leave Mumbattan without a spiderman, love" you stroke his cheek looking to soothe his worries

>"And you can't leave him, Pavitr, your father, your country, everything you know and love is here"

>"Not everything" she said, a single tear cascading down her face, bitter expression

>Gayatri hugs you close, crying into your shoulder "not everything, not without you..."

>It took you some time to finally convince Gayatri to stay, took you even longer with Pavitr

>And it want easy, at times they'll come up with a newer crazier idea to travel with you

>You spent all the time you had left, glued to them

>and when it was time to say goodbye, they had to be physically restricted to leave the plane go without doing anything reckless

>You stayed on facetime with them almost 24/7, going to sleep on calls kind of thing.

>And you're just depressed in this new place, nothing is like home, nothing is as lively, as beautiful, as comfortable as Mumbattan

>after failing several classes, and practically snapping back at everything, your tutor agreed that you simply needed to go back, so they told you that if you couldn't find 5 reasons to stay here, you could go back and captain Singh would be entrusted with your care

>As much as it was physically painful to, you managed to keep it a secret

>And when december was here, you were counting the seconds to get in the plane. You failed the school year due to those early months, but you tried to stop dwelling on that, there's nothing you can do about it

>"what are you doing today?" -you

>"today's christmas silly, just staying home" -Gayatri

>"I wish you could be with us, captain Singh invited me and my Maya auntie for dinner" -Pavitr

>"damn, so you really have no time to do anything? Not even opening the door?" -you

>"What door are you talking about?" -Gayatri

>you knocked, Gayatri's breathing became irregular, so nervous and scared this was just a joke

>but she saw you with two backpacks, on her door, she couldn't contain herself, too much joy inside

>Pavitr heard the happy squealing and came running, they kissed you and smelled you hair, touching you like they were making sure you were real

>There's really no place like home

[femme4ngel]

hi can u write an argument with jude, proper angst but it ends with fluffy coupley stuff? thanks :)

here u go love <3hope u wanted something similar i didn’t proof read this im kinda out of it today

𐐪♡𐑂 jude x femme reader

𐐪♡𐑂 angst! but fluff at the end

you slowly slide down with your back on the bathroom door, the tears falling rapidly from your eyes. you don’t know how you got to this point again, frankly your just so tired. jude has been given a week off for resting and he’s been spending it with you in your apartment. at the beginning you were very excited to spend time with your boyfriend but as the days passed you just kept arguing and fighting and you felt exhausted instead of the usual happiness you got from being around jude. half of the arguments didn’t even make sense, he was irritated by your presence and you just couldn’t stand being around him for some reason, so you got into fights over every single thing. the fight that got you crying in the bathroom started at lunch. you were sitting across each other at the table, you made him his favorite meal, and you tried talking to him but he just kept staring at his phone, ignoring your words. you felt useless and used, after all you took time to prepare food and all you wanted in return was some attention and kindness. you ended up not eating at all, you just left your plate on the table and stormed off to the bathroom to cry. jude of course followed you the minute you left, hurrying after you as you closed the door in his face. and now he’s outside the bathroom, knocking on the door, begging you to let him in.

“ y/n. please let me in…i’m sorry i was horrible. you don’t have to talk to me just please come out, i cant handle hearing you cry.” - you can hear the sadness and quilt in his voice and if your being honest with yourself all you want right now is to be in his arms. and as if he could read your thoughts he tries again;

“ just come out i want to hold you. you will get a cold sitting on the cold floor”

you wipe your cheeks with the sleeve of your hoodie ( it’s his hoodie, and it smells just like him. the smell of the soap he uses and cologne you love so much twists your stomach into a nasty knot) and you stand up to open the door. the minute you open it he collapses into you, holding you, swallowing your figure in the hug. his fingers caress your hair as he whispers into your ear;

“ im so sorry baby, im sorry..”

you sniff and bury your face in his chest, hugging his waist tightly.

“ its okay iv been horrible too.. i don’t know whats happening i’m sorry.”- you murmur.

he slightly pushes you away, holding your face in his hands. he’s gorgeous features are now paired with a kind smile, a smile that makes you believe everything will be okay.

“ i know. do you wanna talk about it and then we can finish that movie we started watching like a month ago hm?” - he asks, staring down at you, his eyes studying your face. you nod with a smile on your face as you interlock your fingers with his, heading towards the living room. a heavy conversation and a movie awaits.

[ninassoul]

today was my last day of school becouse im moving schools, i feel like even tho i grew a lot as a person those past two years, it doesn't feel bittersweet, it just ended, i experienced the worst years of my life at that school and now its the end and i dont feel anything. nothing at all. I dont feel sad about losing friends, or just over all growing up. The only thing i actually feel is moving on and leaving that version of myself behind. I love her but i dont want to ever be her again. I hope that im going to be finally happy now that i wont be surronded by my past. Im scared, a lot but im so excited as well, i feel like im finally starting to feel something else then just sadness. a part of me feels guilty for leaving, i do have some amazing memories from there and i guess that's life. but i cant wait, i am excited to meet the version of myself thats actually happy and doesnt sabotage herself, i want to let myself be happy becouse a part of me believes that i deserve it. Im sitting in my room, listening to music, writting, still wondering if my mom hates me. some things doesnt change, i do find comfort in this. im changing again, i always am. and i moved schools so many times already always looking for something, someone, but it is actually me that im looking for. it always has been me. Im probably writing nonsense at this point. im leaving for new york in few weeks, then im moving schools, then im going to italy, then im going on an exchange year. i feel like i have so much aheade of me, and i feel like burying this version of myself is the right thing to do, she will always be in me, but she wont be taking over my thoughts anymore. I really have never experienced such growth and pain at the same time in my life. im getting older and i hope that im going to be a good person, not only to others but to myself.

[angstics]

nonsense deadpool & wolverine rant

ive been talking about deadpool 3 for days over on twitter -- which is a lot for a movie i was meh about and will forget in 2 weeks (like i have all other deadpool films). BUT i like thinking about how gay ppl & themes are treated in popular film and this is probably going to be the biggest "gay themed" film this year ... which is sad considering this is the year of 2 luca guadagnino films and monkey man and tv glow et al. anyhow. this was a big hit in fandom -- which should not be a surprise considering the mcu and comics fandoms. the "this was sooooo gay" response has been irritating, and so has the counter-argument. the text may not be a gay text but it DOES use gay elements in its text. like Obviously so. to the point that it's hard to discern whether it's appropriation or meaningful, a homophobic joke or somewhat earnest... and why???

part of it will always be the comic characterization of deadpool as a hypersexual pansexual freak who sexually harasses men because that has been deemed highlarious. there's at least one joke recycled (about being tied up together and getting an erection), replacing spiderman in the comics with wolverine in the movie. i can easily see straight men playing these jokes with each other -- i probably have on youtube. this is what makes the "you cant deny this is gay" thing fandom people say sooooooooooooooooooo annoying -- HOMOSEXUAL encounters are not limited to people with THE GAY GENE. straight men sexually harass their friends ("friends") all the time. allllll the time. what makes someone (and a relationship) gay is intention and affection and desire and identity and cultural place -- and a billion other things. there are many movies about two men (and less about two women) who everyone sees as super gay... defiant ones (1958) comes to mind since i recently was reminded of it. heat 1995, thelma & louise 1991. dead poets society 1989 also comes to mind. but no one Serious is claiming this is the dominant (as in "common") reading or INTENDED meaning -- no one is saying these are gay characters in gay relationships. they arent like fried green tomatoes 1991 or midnight cowboy 1969 or rebel without a cause 1955, where it was verifiably gay in some way.

there's a phenomena where a character / relationship (probably) wasnt supposed to be gay, but it came off that way UNDENIABLY because they borrowed too much from gay experiences -- like scream 1992, or very commonly in terms of trans experiences: psycho 1960, silence of the lambs 1991, synecdoche new york 2008. and fraiser lol. Every movie is different and has a different way of doing things which result in different suggestions and conclusions and interpretations and impacts. Big surprise.

deadpool 3 obscures these boundaries in this new pseudo-progressive age. but it is still inaccurate to pretend it was "gay coding" -- as in they were hiding a gay story via Big Subtext and using a straight story to sell a gay movie (which i have seen suggested the use of DP's ex). i cant fucking believe we're still doing destiel conspiracies. im sure stucky had a similar reaction this deadpool ship has (and the spideypool ship), but i think it is understood that Steve Whatshisname wasnt and would never be gay (Bucky could be, he has time).

the misunderstanding comes in the blurring. it's like in the middle of a political compass. ok fine i made one

some moments obviously meant to evoke a gay spirit: bar scene, car scene, madonna scene, "introducing the boyfriend" scene, the Appreciation of the Male Body & Fighting as Fucking theme (note that DP's lesbians were just standing there in 2 scenes?)

Deadpool (and Wolverine) really are pan: an alternate Wolverine is in love w the Mythic Hercules in a comic series (and maybe Cyclops? Subtextually? Throupley?). deadpool is well known in comics, but he does off-hand talk about having non-vaginal sex (? or masturbating?) in this movie

what is romantic is defined by DP's LI: the movie cant hide behind everything being a joke when it has a guiding emotional core consisting of DP's lost (female) love, who he can express affection and attraction to in both serious and comedic contexts

No honest romantic or sexual tension: i have seen movies with subtextual / coded tension and this doesnt have it. it's no popped champagne bottle, or face caressed in blood. there is also no story. i havent mentioned this yet but this movie has a really lackluster story between dp & wolverine that doesnt allow for much interpretation even in a platonic or narrative sense

all these things are true at once, and ignoring one aspect for another doesnt make sense of the film (and characters and audience reaction) as a whole. at the end of the day............. it doesnt matter........ i only really care about being accurate and respecting film history & gay history & continuing to call for gay gay gay stories in popular film. dp3 made a lot of gay jokes that were genuinely unexpected, so it isnt LE FOU 2. but it isnt the end of the line. this was a good thread that described the split well

[luwukass]

OKAY TRACKLIST BREAKDOWN!!!!

so i have now had breakfast and coffee and my brain is on and FUNCTIONING lets get into this

putting a break here incase youre scrolling and dont wanna read all of this lol

so first things first i was watching tiktok and people were making a big deal about how its split up into sides similarly to midnights now i do believe that taylor posted the back cover of the vinyl and that the cd will be different but i could be wrong. even if it is split up like this on purpose on every physical copy this does mean that it is a two LP album instead of one like midnights

one vinyl (both sides) can hold up to 44 minutes of music on it so we can roughly estimate that the full album will be about an hour and a half long now if each side is 22 minutes long each track on side a, b and c should be about (if each song is in equal length) 5 and a half minutes long. side d has 5 songs on it so some of those might be short to fit in the manuscript

i have also seen people compare this back cover to the back cover of lover which is absolutely breaking my heart and im sure thats not gonna be the last lover comparison i see about this album

okay so lets dive into this track by track

SIDE A

track one: Fortnight (feat Post Malone)

okay so first of all this is obviously not a reference to fortnite the video game but i think all of those jokes are funny as hell. the fortnight shes talking about here is a reference to the measurement of time as seen down below google states that fortnight is a british term for two weeks.

according to wikipedia fortnight is derived from the old english term fēowertiene niht, meaning "fourteen nights".

now onto post malone i actually listen to some of his music from time to time. he mostly does do rap but his most recent album austin (which is coincidentally also taylors brothers name, but is also post malones real name) is listed on google as alternative rock, indie pop and synth-pop. so im unsure of what vibe post will bring to the track. i think its also surprising she placed one of the two collabs as the opening track. i think the vibe for this track will probably be either a story about what happened in a certain two week period or about what is going to happen in two weeks from the songs time standpoint (if that makes sense lol)

track two: The Tortured Poets Department

A TITLE TRACK!!!! now obviously we dont know much about the album yet so we cant really try and figure out what the title track will be about so im just gonna do a little yippee for having a title track

track three: My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys

this is a Whole fucking title good lord the only thing that really comes to mind when i think of this title is the lyric in better than revenge where she says “soon shes gonna find stealing other peoples toys on the playground wont make you many friends” which is if im not forgetting anything the only lyric as of now where she’s referred to being someones partner as someones “toy” but that lyric itself is a metaphor for relationships being playing on a playground. this will probably be a sad or angry song about how her ‘boy’ goes around breaking/hurting his favorite ‘toy’ aka taylor

track four: Down Bad

okay now down bad if you dont know is a slang term to describe how badly you have fallen for someone (mostly used in a more sexual nature in my experience than romantic) so this song will probably be about how badly she is for the love interest of the song

SIDE B

track five: So Long, London

alright new track five lets go! so this is obviously seeming to be a reference to track 11 on lover, london boy. now like taylor said when she announced it this album has been a secret for two years so we dont know when these songs were written or who they are about but i feel like it is safe to say this song and most of the other will be about said london boy [i personally do not care who a song is about and it is not taylors job to tell us who a song is about and that isnt the point of her music, but i will be commenting on the joe breakup bc that seems to be a large idea of this album so far] i can see this probably being about the break up and possibly sampling some music from london boy like she did with cornelia street and youre losing me

track six: But Daddy I Love Him

okay so the first thing i thought of when i read this track title is the scene from the little mermaid where ariel is fighting with her dad over the eric statue and im gonna be honest i dont remember the plot points in order of this movie BUT i do remember when taylor dressed up as ariel for her new years party in 2019. so given what we know this will probably be a song about maybe her fighting/arguing with her dad over how much she loves the love interest of the song regardless of who he is/how he treats her

track seven: Fresh Out The Slammer

okay so im not sure what this song will be about bc i dont think taylor has ever been to jail before so it would probably be metaphorical type of “im back bitches” type of song im assuming this might be a bass heavy maybe more rock leaning song and if it is a “im back bitches” it might be about the amount of time she was single for with the ‘slammer’ being her old relationship

track eight: Florida!!! (feat Florence and the Machine)

alright so as we all know this album has been in the works at least for two years but we dont know when each song was written so take this with a grain of salt but the tampa eras tour shows were the first shows after the news of the joe breakup dropped. so this song might be about her feelings during those shows. for those that want to know these were the surprise songs for the tampa shows in order.

night one: speak now and treacherous

night two: the great war and youre on your own kid

night three: mad woman and mean

SIDE C

track nine: Guilty as Sin?

okay so my main curiosity about this track is the question mark in the title because guilty as sin isnt much of a thought provoking title to me but that fact that its a question is interesting. the current vibes im getting are that this might be a more sexy song? but i have no idea here

track ten: Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?

okay so THIS is giving big taunting energy like “aww who would ever be afraid of little ol me 🥺 youre afraid of me?” which im Hoping thats what the vibes are bc that would HIT but i can also see it being completely different as well

track eleven: I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

oh my GOD this one sounds like its gonna be sad. so this is obviously a reference to the common seen online phrase “i can/could fix him” which as ive seen is normally used towards people who are attracted to hot fictional characters that usually have a lot of emotional baggage or are villains (i saw it a lot when ballad of songbirds and snakes came out about young snow) so this song will probably be about her promising that she Can fix him and really will despite ‘him’ being broken or maybe even possibly a bad partner

track twelve: loml

so i saw and rb a post earlier about how its very interesting that this is already an acronym which i completely agree with because taylor knows we are no strangers to turning her song titles into acronyms. so loml does usually mean love of my life but i think because its already an acronym it might be something different (i saw someone earlier say it might be loss of my life instead of love)

SIDE D

track thirteen: I Can Do It With a Broken Heart

this one i think will kill me personally. i think this one will probably be about her continuing to go on with life (and possibly the eras tour) post joe break up i think this one will either be a sad song or a light beat ‘picking myself up on my feet’ song

track fourteen: The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

this has so many implications but personally i think the interpretation shes gonna use for this song will be about how the said man is small emotionally and just as a person (i doubt she will talk about physical shortness in height or other areas)

track fifteen: The Alchemy

now im gonna be so real here i have no idea what this one will be about google says that alchemy is an older version of chemistry so maybe she will talk about the chemistry or alchemy she has in her relationships?

track sixteen: Clara Bow

alright Clara Bow! okay so i dont know much about old hollywood so i am NOT the person to deep dive into what this song will be about but all i do know about her is that she was The “It” girl of the silent film era so im assuming this song will probably be like the lucky one and talk about the rise to stardom and being the Biggest Star Of The Time

track seventeen(bonus track): The Manuscript

alright so after looking at the definition of a manuscript this is the PERFECT bonus track?!!?!?! so a manuscript is normally a piece of work that is written or typed out but isnt officially published which is just genius for having it be a bonus track that probably wont be on streaming (if not for a long time) i have no idea what itll be about but i love that mastermind

that’s pretty much all of my thoughts as of currently PLEASE let me know what yall think and what theories yall have for this album i am SO excited for april 19th 💕

[hey-i-am-trying]

Dude, IM part of the Spanish community and I thought Roier was being a total ass to Pepito's OG admin. That anon cant speak for us all and I honestly feel like Roier was mean as hell to that poor admin the hole damn time. I remember when he started pointing out the admins were changing and thought it was so rude to call out the REAL PEOPLE who were playing and acting like they HAD to act a specific way (like RIchas) or else he would spend the hole steam yelling at him, hitting him, insulting him as a """"joke"""" I fucking hated watching Roier and Pepito interact and NOT because of Pepito thats for sure. I was so glad when other people started looking after him and I feel so deeply bad for that poor OG admin who didnt get to play THEIR FUCKING character. I hate seeing people be like "we liked the other Pepito cause he fallowed Roier's story better" what about THAT ADMINS story???? As if these arnt real ass people roleplaying but just characters you can rewrite and should fit to form every time. The other eggs can have bad days and bad moods but Pepito cant? Its not only unfair and mean but it proved Pepito's self hatred right till the very end. Pepito's story is "If im not happy and bubbly 100% of the time ill be hated by the people meant to love me no matter what" and thats just shitty. I guess I can understand there was a tonal misunderstanding because Roier is more jokey and non serious and Pepito's OG admin seemed to me more in deep rp mode at all times and maybe that wasnt what was best for Roier's play style, thats fine. But to blame it all on """cultural differences""" and that the admin was rude is honestly just not it.

Thank you both for sharing!

Well, I think I will be fully honest and say that at the time, I stopped to watch any Roier qsmp steam because of Pepito. I didn't necessarly believed ccRoier was a bad person, it was just that the route qRoier's and Pepito's relationship were going was triggering some bad memories. It is weird that we know now that the actors weren't allowed to contact the ccs because you would think the story lines that both Roier and the og admin wanted to tell should required a lot of communication between the player and the actor.

I don't think that is either their fault that they wanted different storyline, but

I think Roier usually is very light-hearted with his humor and jokes about "la chancla"/"o chinelo" are very common place in LATAM, many latino kids are spanked during their childhoods and using it in humor is not a uncommon thing.

I think the context that the og admin is not from LATAM and did not speak spanish as her first language, adds to why they crashed so much in rp/humor style.

I don't think Roier was trying to be insulting, at least not out of charcter, but it is okay to have your own feeling about it.

It sad that I think this could have been avoided if Roier and the admin had a chance to talk.

I do not think that the admin was rude while I was watching but for what others said it was a situation were Roier was trying out of character explaning events of the week when the admin cursed at him. Not having spanish as their first language may have caused the admin to not realize the weight of what they were saying, they probably pretended to be light hearted.

But, well, it wasn't, at least not for those that were watching. And while I will repeat what I said before that the admin shouldn't be treated as trash or if there is something personallly wrong with them, they were rude in a situation, that is it.

[blkkizzat]

Kali losing her virginity story time when

sis lmfao it's not glamorous... ngl i 18 and i was crossfaded af at a college party and "superman" by eminem was playing.

LMFAO A MESS, ill talk about it but i don't wanna trigger anyone so under the cut. tw sex under the influence; dubcon

i probably wasn't in the right mind frame to consent or anything tbh (so please dont be like me stay safe). well, honestly now that i think about it, i think it was just that last bong hit that had me out of my mind. although i was already naked atp lol so i was down to have sex. but right after that's when i blacked out and when i came to i was literally moaning as ol'boy had a mouth full of my pussy hjdfasdjhfasdjh. i just wanted to lose my v and get it over with so i was happy to go with the flow. (disclaimer: back in the day when i was drinking hard dark liquor and mixed it with weed i would literally black out, but not go unconscious but just lose that time and not know wtf i was doing for the last 20 mins. But people have told me i was talking/acting like normal so idk.bdjhsdfjh but it happened then too. its only happened to me like 3-4 times tbh all when i binge drank heavy in college and smoked a fuckton of weed. so no it wasn't like i was unconscious and he was hooking up with me anyway).

that said, ngl that was some of the best sex i ever had in college. high sex is always great for me tbh and i dont remember it hurting much (but he had also just ate me out for like 45 min) but i think me and ol'boy just had good natural chemistry. he lived on the 3rd floor and my friends on the first floor said they heard me kfjhsdkjshdfkvjhsd.

one awkward asf thing though is the guy did not know i was a virgin and i would have told him if i wasnt so fucked up fjkhrfkdhgkdf.

also just wanna note, im not sad or upset at all. i always gave zero fucks about the construct of virginity (personally, please if you want it to be nice and special that is your preference and nothing is wrong with that). and sidenote thats why other than the one virgin!reader fic i will write (she wont really give af either tho tbh), i dont like writing virgin!reader cause i dont believe in idealizing it.

honestly i just wanted to lose it cause up until that point i was scared to use a tampon and was tired of being in the bloody dirt trenches with pads fhsdfjkhasfjaksh. like it wasnt even about "losing my virginity to a tampon", i was just scared to put it in. but literally got my period a week later and was like "well a dick has been in me" and found the courage to put it in. i was a silly bitch im fully aware LOL!

but i will say, it was this weird thing after where i felt bad for NOT feeling bad. like i had other friends who idealized virginity so much (then were all pikachu face when they found out i didnt want to tell them i had sex), i felt like there was something wrong with me for not thinking it was a big deal. even sometimes now, i wont want to discuss it just because so may people do idolize it its annoying to have to deal with their reactions and reassure them "no i dont feel like i was SA'd, no i dont regret it, yes i actually enjoyed the experience."

however i will say now im in the middle.

these days im alot more selective with who i fuck as personally i subscribe to the ideas of tantra/tantric sex. That while you can have sex without emotions, you can't have it without an energy exchange. sometimes ive felt shitty after one-night stands or liked the friends with bennies for the pleasure in sex but felt off after. i realized that those feelings weren't due to guilt from slut-shaming but the fact that their energy was off and it was now having an effect on me. so rn im DTF 100%—but yo energy gotta be right. and usually i cant tell that just from the bar or first meeting so ive been waiting more.

i rambled again jsdhsdjhbj but oh well.