#im glad people are doing something anything about it

[screampied]

Hi, I just wanted to say I think it's very nice that you've become sort of a reference for sex positive answers to anons. I mean, your writing is great, but somehow your page became something more than that and people felt comfortable enough to send asks we don't normally see (like asks about sex toys and squirting). It's so cool that you've created such an open and comfortable space for both you to share your posts about sex and for people to answer it without taboo and it started with your writing too. I'm sorry if it sounds cliché and/or sappy but for me it shows how art can connect people even in the most unexpected ways. That's it, I guess... "I just think it's neat" 😅. I hope I've been able to convey my meaning correctly (sorry, english is not my first language). Lots of love from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil 💛.

oh my, thank you soooo much 🥹🥹🥹💟

so sweet, but of course !!! this is a safe silly space, and i’m always happy to chat w u all about anything sex-positive related !!! anything i can do to help, youuu all are free to come to me for whatever !!! never be shyyy, we’re a community here. im no professional sex expert hehe but i shall continue to try my best 🫡. but no worries, i completely understand!! im glad you think so, && if you ever need advice i am your gal <3 THANKYOU THOUGH !!!! your english is lovely, and i appreciate this sweet ask

lots of more love from barbados 🇧🇧 <333 !

[tvheadfalls]

i dont wanna misrepresent it tho, there is a lot of people defending it saying "this is so obviously abt creatives who are too paralyzed to create anything and not about any of the other stuff" , which Is in fact the point. so thank u for that very much :)

and im not gonna engage w a random subreddit thatd be a fools errand, but in case anyone else feels iffy abt my post, i have some words. kind of a vent tho

the post was obvsly never meant to enable racist, homophobic, or misogynistic depictions or whatever, and i will say if thats ur first instinct then u might want to relax. i dont really feel the need to defend myself on that. im not gonna make a post like this and then say "except this and this and this" like yeah, no shit. and its not about thinking ppl should be forced to consume ur stories and not be allowed to dislike it, and it doesnt mean u should expect money for stuff thats "unmarketable". this isnt about money

it was about my paralyzing fear of any and all feelings of shame, and of my moral ocd-esque overthinking of literally every word i put down about my ocs. due to various life things, being ridiculed is something i am extremely sensitive to and i instinctively want to avoid at all costs. it is also, inevitably, something that very well may happen when you want to put yourself out there on the Fuck Ass Internet. or at all, in life. i am so bogged down by the fear of it happening at all that to this day, even after i made that post, its still my biggest problem. not just as a creative but pretty much anything. i get excited about oc projects, and then i imagine actually putting them out there and having people perceive them, and i just get nauseous with fear. the fact once i do so there will be no going back is like, i cant even think about it. i still dont know how to deal with this besides repeating "do it scared" to myself.

i still have no idea how i dealt with having that big following before. i guess the fact that i mostly kept to myself and people didnt really talk about me even when i made posts that blew up, like this one

to whomever that post actually helped, i am extremely glad, to put it short. and i hope i get there too.

saw a post on twitter that was like "if u want to see bad takes on u just go to reddit" and AAHAAAA NOOOO its literally all the fucking "indie creator" post i made and its just a bunch of people going "i need money tho". like yeah u got me i got nothing to say that

[juniemunie]

[Abandoned by the Lightners, his heart became cracked with hatred.]

Hitting a lil' too close to home?

[variousqueerthings]

as someone who was working as a live-in au pair for an only somewhat well-known performer (as in, not internationally famous multi-millionaire, but has sway in a certain sphere and whom i looked up to when i first went to work there in my early 20s and who promised to help me out with various things) who went from calling me a friend and a peer (so we didnt need a contract) to becoming verbally and emotionally abusive and got me into a situation of being briefly homeless

the whole gaiman and palmer thing really is. yeah. i can see how that could have happened to me if i'd been less lucky and that person had been even worse. all the behaviours those women are talking about in themselves, the not knowing how to approach the situation, the wanting to smooth things over/feeling guilt for causing a fuss, the worrying about money and what to do without this person, not knowing even what was real and not being able to frame it in the way it really was at the time they were living it (i had a sheet of paper i carried around for years where i had started documenting what my employer was saying and doing, because i felt genuinely mad, both at the time and looking back at it without that anchor)

and i was waaay less affected. and this person had waaay less power overall. and i had much better support structures. i can only imagine how intense it's been for them having to try to remember it, having to figure out what the contexts for their own decisions were in order to survive it, making sense of any of it might be, because it took 8 years or so for me to sift through all of my stuff

all these women's decisions make perfect sense to me, who only lived through something fractionally as bad, and i hope that people won't try to say that this has anything to do with bdsm or that they'd be above this, because it's not at all difficult to see how this happened, and how it happens to many people in many different ways (not all of them including sexual assault)

i hope people will be able to protect themselves when famous/people in the fields they want to work in/people with power over them make these overtures of "friendship" (especially in relation to you working for them in exchange for them helping you with... ???, but you're still definitely friends!!!) because really, it can happen so easily. soooooo so easily

[deep-space-lines]

can't wait til I start this stupid job so I won't have to be doing commissions all the fucking time to buy groceries, this shut sucks the joy out of art so much. I wanna be drawing ultrakill stuff & personal art & doing crafts & reading books but every time I sit down to do something for me I'm thinking about the fact that I should be doing commissions. I'm so glad I didn't go into art as an actual career, I would hate myself so much forever

[demadogs]

stranger things season one 2016 was so fucking incredible. it exists as an entirely different entity to me than the rest of the show. you literally just had to be there. to this day nothing has ever come close to the amount of universal love for a fictional story that stranger things first received. ive been chasing this high for eight years.

[faaun]

my research partner and i are huddled in a blanket in paddington waiting for a too-late train i already miss you and you and you

[icewindandboringhorror]

"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"

I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming

[silly-lil-scribbles]

me when i cant be someones favorite person all the time forever for no fucking reason: ah i see. hm. okay. i should go abandon everyone and everything and then kill myself

[somefisher]

Fuck my stupid lonely gay life

[milfbrainrot]

online education is such a scam but not nearly as much as the alternatives

[danielnelsen]

so if you romance and ascend astarion you can kick him in the balls when he tries to turn you and it’s just very funny, he’s so pissy about it. so much for the most powerful vampire of all time or whatever, he stamps around like a toddler and then leaves forever

[outer-edges]

r/regretfulparents is my hellscape. i know most of them are just going through hard times and venting and probably don't actually regret it but like. i genuinely think motherhood would be my most awful prison. the whole sub is like the scariest horror game the internet has to offer for me.

[slingbats]

Okay and? The canon s5 outfits sucked, we did Not get good post canon nygmobs idk 🤷‍♀️

at least I feel robbed of decent menswear anyway

[homophyte]

thank you for the long & thought out response. while i do fully agree with you on stances like prison abolition & the myth of the stranger pedophile scapegoat, my question and discomfort with jimmy’s actions comes not so much from a political/philosophical standpoint but from a very human emphatic one. i put myself in the shoes of the girl he groomed and abused and imagine people listening to and enjoying the music of my abuser and it makes me sick to my stomach. so thats more where my guilt and discomfort comes from. that said i can’t say that their music doesn’t have an impact or isn’t enjoyable. i also agree with you that this mass outrage and very public renunciation and demand for punishment is very much a social mechanism and automatic reaction that quite simplifies a complex situation. however these mechanisms exist for a certain evolutionary purpose after all (sorry my background is psychology) but thats sort of besides the point because im also not a fan of how these things get handled with zero nuance. 

its also true what you said that me or you or anyone deciding to disengage with this band or their music changes nothing in the grand scheme of things, so doing it as some sort of Noble Cause against abuse is useless. so in this case i feel it’s up to personal preference and whether or not i can swallow the cognitive dissonance and discomfort this information arises in me whenever i listen to their music from now on. 

thanks again for the insightful response, i’m glad we can have this sort of discussion because i also think this topic is extremely important but people often shy away from it because it’s so heavy. 

im glad you asked me to share! like i said ive spent a lot of time thinking abt this specifically so its very much like years worth of mishmash thoughts kinda strung together only by me experiencing them over time in succession lol. but i agree its important to talk about it especially within a culture so ensnared in the logic of the prison and particularly how effectively thats been exported into like 'mob justice' for lack of a better word.

re: the emotive aspect im not sure i have much to say other than like Yeah its a very strong one and i dont think its a bad thing at all to have. i got the impression from ur ask--and idk how true this is--that you were wrestling between a desire to return to the music bc you enjoyed it and that response preventing you and feeling a sort of obligation to do one over the other n struggling with that. so i think i approached it as like 'heres ways you can reason w that emotional response and grapple w it if its smth ur agonizing over' or something like that. im also a firm believer in the ways politics shapes the ways we think n feel so my instinct was to tease out some of the structures that may be shaping ur thought processes--which of course i nor anyone but you can fully know. but i dont get that same sense from how u describe it here and either way i think whatever feeling ur having about it is like...i dont want to say its 'valid' but ur allowed to have that and do whatever you want pretty much lol. i cant and am not going to force anyone to engage w the band and theres probably more reasons than i could think to list why its not for everyone even without the sordidness of abuse hanging over it.

without getting into a much much broader discussion i would gently push back on the idea of a biologically innate reason for the existence of carceral/punitive logics (and frankly psychology more broadly), if only bc it does a lot of the work of justifying them. keep in mind that these are concepts ideas and patterns of thought that exist because they serve systems of power and particularly the state. we did not have to have a society which created them, we only happen to--which is to say theyre not innate in this way and i disagree that they have an 'evolutionary' purpose bc it fails to properly historicize them. but thats me coming from an antipsych position lol

[iidsch]

i dont agree with the "fuck small talk lets talk about deep things" crowd but if you're asked something like how are you or what's up and you reply with one convo-terminating word you should be put in a brazen bull inside an industrial furnace